#q-branch minions

[aprettyspy]

007 Fest 2023 intro post

Hi! First time fest-er here and I'm a brand new Q Branch minion.

Tumblr/A03 pseuds: APrettySpy on both, also SherlocksSister on AO3.

Your Nickname: Spy

Your Minion Designation: QB-R1

Favourite Fictional Gadget: Smart Blood, because keeping tabs on those apes that call themselves agents is Hard Work, mostly because even they don't know where they are most of the time.

Best Use for Duct Tape: Taping shut the mouths of those making sorry attempts at an excuse for not returning the beautiful tech we make for them.

Favourite Tea and Biscuits: Lyons Gold Blend, extra strong with the tea bag left in the mug and Lemon Shortbread. Possibly a Toffeepop.

Beat Late Night Takeaway: Chilcken Tikka Kashmiri Masala with naan. Served cold

[cicerfics]

Having A Silly Thought about this post:

I think, at some point, Q-branch becomes very absorbed in the discussion of how Evil Overlord and Evil Consort are clearly two separate genders which bear no relationship to the gender binary of masculinity vs. femininity. A cis man can certainly be an Evil Consort! A nonbinary individual or a person whose gender presentation leans more toward the femme side of things can certainly be an Evil Overlord! These things are complex and variable and must not be restricted based on the artificial confines of the gender binary!

There is much discussion on this topic (a very normal topic of conversation in Q-branch, TBH). People begin analyzing themselves to determine whether they are more on the 'Evil Overlord' side of the spectrum or more on the 'Evil Consort' side.

(Soon, a small group insists that a third gender of 'Evil Henchperson' must be created as well, and this is accordingly done. A few other 'evil' genders pop up, too, as some techs choose a different label for themselves. But most people in the department are trying to decide whether they're more of an Evil Overlord or an Evil Consort.)

Graphs and charts are created to analyze the ratio of responses and to sift for patterns in the collected data. (Again, this is a very normal extracurricular activity in Q-branch.)

Q, everyone agrees, is an Evil Overlord and not at all an Evil Consort! This is understood. (Q does not speak to this himself, because he is busy finishing the annual budget, but his minions feel confident that they have assessed him correctly.)

And at some point, 007 turns up in Q-branch and wants to know what's going on with the white board that says 'Evil Overlord' and 'Evil Consort', with tally marks underneath it.

One of the bolder interns explains the matter to him. (Half the techs are now feeling very awkward and avoiding his eyes. How frivolous they must seem to a man who puts his life on the line for England every day!)

But Bond listens very solemnly and then tells them to put a tally mark under 'Evil Consort' on his behalf, because he is UNDOUBTEDLY that type. He is confident that he would look SPLENDID in a skintight black leather outfit, lounging across his overlord's lap while a traitorous minion is brought in for punishment. He would be EXCEPTIONALLY good at climbing out of the water, gleaming and dripping, in a tiny swimsuit, while his Evil Overlord makes evil phone calls on the deck of an evil yacht. He knows EXACTLY what the duties of Evil Consort would entail, and he could perform them with APLOMB. He would bring tremendous style and panache to the role!

...This is probably the point when Q pops out from his office to see what all the ruckus is about, and why Bond is loitering in Q-branch with a bunch of rapt technicians hanging on his every word.

When Bond explains, very seriously, that he is contributing his personal data for use on this important project (he is 100% an Evil Consort, and yes, Carstairs, he WILL fill out your form and offer supplemental data for additional analysis! glad to help!) Q sputters. He tells Bond to stop being ridiculous.

Bond, very seriously, informs Q that he cannot help being so good at smirking, smoldering, and sashaying around in risque outfits. Don't hate the player, Q. Hate the game.

Q is silent for a long, exasperated moment. Then he heaves a sigh and returns to his paperwork.

Meanwhile, the minions nod at each other solemnly, and silently agree that Bond would be an excellent Consort for their beloved Overlord.

...Just another normal day in Q-branch!

[wandererrofthewinds]

007 FEST HEADCANONS!! PART 2!

Alec Trevelyan-

- Once went out on Christmas with Bond, Q and Moneypenny. Got so drunk he sang Last Christmas with a Russian accent.

- when i say he's got insane language talent, im not just talking about being fluent. I'm talking about the accent. He can literally replicate an accent perfectly. Better then anybody in the 00 Program.

- watches Analog Horrors and EAS Scenarios religiously.

James Bond-

- hallucinated Alec for a while after his death.

- once walked in on Moneypenny and a girl from finance filming a TikTok.

- Debates Doctor Who lore with Q very frequently. Alec thinks they've finally gone insane. Who the fuck is Metacrisis Doctor.

-him, Alec, Q and Moneypenny binge watch Peaky Blinders whenever they have the time for it.

Q-

- Analyzes Peaky Blinders and Doctor Who like a data recovered from a foreign country.

- Hates coffee. Like really hates it. Doesn't even know why. He hates it.

- Hates on any type of tea that's not Earl Grey. Thats his toxic trait.

Eve Moneypenny-

- has an 64 page word document analysis on Arthur Shelby.

- introduced Radiohead to Bond. He liked it but never admits it.

- Mitski and Chappell Roan girly.

- led a bunch of Q Branch Minions in writing their Office Fanfiction about Bond and Q.

[aching-arc-reactor]

My intro for my character for 007Fest this year!

Shay Hodge, 29, she/they, 5’8” and plus size curvy.

Shay runs the independent cafe that sits in the connector between Q Branch and the offices of the 00 agents. She knows far more about most of these people than they think, spies seem to be shitty spies while off duty. The 00’s and Q Branch minions have semi adopted her as their own, so she’s got a decent hold on self defense techniques, and enough gadgets get “left” around the cafe that she could arm a small team of people at this point.

She comes in to open the cafe one morning, and finds her night shift counterpart asleep at the espresso bar, not super uncommon, she throws a blanket over him, and goes about setting up for the mass exodus of the night shifters wanting enough caffeine to get home safely, and the morning crew desperately attempting to wake up.

But no one shows up.

The 00’s are curled up in a puppy pile, snoring away.

And Q Branch is sleeping on their desks, the little boffins peaceful in their nondestructive slumber.

Maybe Shay should cut back her caffeine consumption? Or maybe she shouldn’t, at least she’s awake to guard the passed out agents.

[double-0h-no]

Interlude (please hold the line)

My prompt fill for "betrayed" and 717 words (yes, this is the number I picked, and I picked it for cheesy reasons, sue me) This had the potential of getting really really angsty, and I decided to dodge that bullet and replace it with the next one.

I don't know why I thought that picking the Whump table as the one to be finished this week was a good idea. I could have picked the word count table and intersperse my Whump with some fluff, but no, now we're all stuck with a week of angst. Oh well, better planning next year, lesson learned, and all that…

I hope you enjoy it :)

on ao3

Q's on comms with Bond when something more pressing calls his attention.

In hindsight, Q couldn't say what exactly it had been that had tipped him off, but he acted fast:

"James, get out, now!", he commanded via comms while his left hand curled around the ledge of the desk to activate the silent alarm and his right went for the desk drawer where his weapon was stored.

He heard the sound blocker of James' earpiece kick in that muted any sound that would blow his eardrums out on the other side. That would have been the explosion. Someone had rigged that room, and Q had almost led Bond straight into the trap if there hadn't been something that had told him that something strange was afoot.

It would be very helpful to know what. What was it that Agent Blakely had just said?

His hand had closed around the handle of the drawer as he was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked, and he froze.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," said Blakely deceptively calm behind him, and Q let his hands drop away from the desk. 

Moneypenny was informed, and Bond sounded as if he was actually doing what he was told. It was fine.

"Q, what's going on?", came the panting voice over his headset, but he didn't dare answer. Slowly he turned around and looked at Blakely, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Well go on. Answer. And then put your headset on your desk, and let's hope that Bond doesn't begin to suspect something is wrong here, huh?"

That could prove difficult.

"Q?" Bond had audibly stopped running, his tone still all business. "Could you tell me how you knew that the room was about to blow up around me before I entered, or shall I believe you were reading that from the tea leaves in your mug?"

That was a new one. "Of course not, I found a contradiction in the intel. The rest was in the tea leaves. I'll have to leave you for a moment to find out who buggered that up, I'm sure you'll survive for that long, won't you?" And with that, he took off his headset and placed it on his desk.

Then he looked expectantly back up at Blakely.

"All right, now I need you to copy the blueprints and plans of that project you were working on with Riley and Hammond." Q clicked his tongue. That was not supposed to be common knowledge. But it was not so secret that Blakeley couldn't have overheard it some time in Q-branch.

He studied the agent from head to toe. Blakely was incredibly calm, his gun steadily pointed at Q, as if this was just another day on the job. And it was. Q was deceptively calm, too, like this sort of thing happened to him twice a month.

Blakely tossed him a USB drive he caught easily and plucked it into the laptop that was disconnected from all systems. When he was sure there really was nothing on it, and the red dot appeared at the bottom of his screen. His computer was now running on the dummy system. Someone upstairs from admin had entered the code to cut Q-branch off from the MI6 network.

"All right. I assume the alternative is getting shot?"

Blakely huffed. "Who do you take me for, Quartermaster? No, if you don't comply, I'll shoot the minions." If possible, the room grew even more quiet. Q sighed. Not as if he'd do it any differently.

"Very well." Q turned to his desktop and selected the file, copied to the drive. "I will hang on to this until we're out of the building, assuming I'm your ticket out of here." Something like respect showed on Blakely's face, and he gestured with his gun for Q to make his way to the exit. On his way, Q directed a glare at his minions. This was not a moment for heroism. There were others for that.

Blakely followed him at a safe distance but Q had no illusions that he would end up in a choke-hold with a gun to his temple sooner rather than later.

"I figured you'd ask me why by now," Blakely started a poor attempt at smalltalk, and Q rolled his eyes.

"Traitors aren't all that interesting."

[josilverdragon]

I think my favorite thing about reading James Bond 00Q fic (beyond 00Q because of course) but I love when writers include Bond's BFF 006 (non-traitor version of course in most cases) as well as other double-0s and MI6 Eve and Tanner as BFFs to Q and Q branch known as "minions" and so on. Mix it all in to a fix-it of canon Daniel Craig films, with a sprinkling of Bond's history prior to DC's Bond and that equals some of my favorite 00Q fic things lol

[elsewheregremlin]

April Fools!

It’s 4/1 and I managed to write a tiny fic for the fandom! Unbeta-ed and probably extremely messy, but I hope it can make a few people laugh.

Enjoy!

—————————

When 00s prank each other on April first, they always choose the silliest and most harmless method. It was only practical, since any serious attempt at going after another double-oh usually leads to death and destruction.

Thus, harmless shenanigans. And only for those who weren’t on active missions, and no retaliation allowed until next year.

Last year, all of 007’s suits were replaced with hot pink monstrosities decorated with sequins. 001 and 005’s electronic devices belt out “Baby Shark” at the oddest intervals. 009’s car was covered top to bottom in Angry Birds stickers. 008’s shoes and socks were all missing the right leg. 004’s fridge was looted and filled with her least favorite flavor of ice cream.

This year, they decided to officially welcome Mallory into the fold, starting the day with replacing his stash of expensive alcohol with soda.

Q, formally left out of the fray because the pack of hyenas were rightfully terrified of him, snickered while M bemoaned why the nine of them couldn’t devote this kind of careful planing to missions.

“They spend a full year planning this kind of stuff, sir. Can’t do that on active missions.”

Hiding a grin behind his mug, Q idly switched between different monitoring devices, getting a sense of what was in store this time.

Bond was hiding out in Q’s office, giggling menacingly over a pot of unidentifiable goop. Q had no idea what or who it was for, but it couldn’t be very dignified judging by the color and consistency of the goop.

He raised an eyebrow when he spotted Trevelyan consorting with one of his own minions, and decided to listen in.

His thoughts crashed when he heard the words.

“—this can hold 007 long enough for the Quartermaster to get to him. Good enough for you, 006?”

“Darling, we shall have a spring wedding. I can’t wait to see Q’s face when he saw the present we got for him.”

With a kiss on the minions cheek, Trevelyan left Q-Branch with a package under his arm and a smirk on his face.

Q put down his mug to ponder this for a moment, and then decided there was no need for worrying.

After all, while the rules forbade them from aiming the pranks at Q, this was clearly a gift.

This might just be the best April Fool’s day he had.

[lapsang-and-earlgrey]

Q: No, no, no, Tanner isn't a Cinnamon Roll too good for this world he's a good dependable British Chelsea Bun

or how Tnner got his nickname

Everyone knows Q and his minions love memes as much as they love sweet and sticky treats there is even a round-robin email group specifically for sharing them so it should have surprised no one when Q was heard in unhushed tones telling the whole of Q Branch " No, no, no Tanner isn't a cinnamon roll he's a good dependable British Chelsea Bun. If a few days later several boxes turquoise boxes of Fitzbillies' Chelsea buns arrived from Cambridge and a certain chief of staff was seen wiping sticky kisses from his blushing cheeks they were after all one of young Q's favourites when he was a precociously young Cambridge undergrad recipe beneath the cut

For the dough 200ml 3/4cup plus 2 tbsp Milk 60g/4Tbsp+1tsp butter 450g/1lb/3+2//3 cups plain /all-purpose flour 2 tbsp caster /fine sugar 5g quick yeast/1 sachet 1 egg, lightly beaten Zest of 1 unwaxed lemon 1 tsp mixed spice/pumpkin spice 1 tsp salt

For the filling: 30g2 tbsp +1 tsp butter, slightly softened 35g soft brown sugar 100g currants (small raisins will do at a pinch)

For the glaze: 2 tbsp caster sugar 1 tbsp milk 2 tbsp demerara sugar (optional)

For the dough Heat the milk and the butter until blood warm if you can stick your little finger in and it feels neither hot nor cold that's about right add the sachet of yeast and set aside

Put the flour, salt, and sugar n a large bowl and whisk to combine add the milk yeast, and beaten egg and stir until it forms a soft dough/

now add the lemon zest and mixed spice and mix again

Turn the dough out onto a clean surface and knead for about 10 minutes / about 5 if you are using a stand mixer with a dough hook the dough should be smooth and elastic. Cover and put in a warm place for one to two hours or until it has doubled in size.

knock back the dough and turn it out onto a floured surface roll the dough out until you have a rectangle that is approximately 25cm by 35 cm or 10 by 14 inches. working with the longer sides toward you smear the softened butter over the surface of the dough sprinkling the sugar and currents over the top.

roll the dough from the edge furthest away from you keeping the roll as tight as possible.

cut the dough into nine even pieces and place them swirl-side up into a greased 27cm square or 10-11 inch tin spacing the rolls out so they have room to prove cover and prove for 30-45 minutes

Pre-heat the oven to 200C (180C fan)/390F/gas 6 and bake the buns for 20-30 minutes covering with foil if the currents start to burn

For the glaze heat the milk in the same pan or bowl you used to melt the butter stir in the sugar until it dissolves. Brush the glaze onto the buns as soon as they come out of the oven optionally sprinkle the demerara sugar on top. leave to cool before devouring with a nice cup of Earl Grey

[aprettyspy]

December 2nd of my YuletideFlashFic for the prompt Naughty list redemption story

[teamqbranch]

2023 Fest Team Q-Branch

BluebellofBakerStreet

Your Tumblr/Ao3 pseuds: bluebellofbakerstreet

Your Nickname: Bluebell

Your Pronouns: she/her

Your Minion Designation: QB-B3

Favorite Fictional Gadget: That’s still classified

Best Use for Duct Tape: Sealing my office door shut so that no one will bother me.

Favourite Tea and Biscuits: Extra large chai latte and custard creams

Best Late-Night Takeaway: Chinese

[cicerfics]

Headcanons: How knowledgeable are the MI6 staff about the workplace gossip mill?

OK, just ONE more headcanons post before Fest is done!

This one is about our favorite characters and their ability (or lack thereof) to stay abreast of the hot goss circulating at HQ.

Moneypenny: THE gossip queen of MI6. Knows all, sees all, but does not TELL all. She always has the 411 on what's going on with MI6 personnel, but she's very discreet. She plays her cards close to her vest, and generally turns a blind eye to matters that do not concern her, M, important political matters, or internal security. Still, whether she discloses her knowledge or not, she absolutely knows which canteen worker spent the night with which member of Accounting while his wife was out of town. 👀

Bond: Very good at keeping his finger on the pulse and his ear to the ground. Generally very knowledgeable about the MI6 gossip mill. However, he is hamstrung by the fact that he spends so much of his time abroad. He has several key employees (well-placed in various departments) that he checks in with whenever he returns to HQ. He applies to Moneypenny as well and tries to weasel information out of her. Nine times out of ten, his sources help him stay up to date!

(After his retirement from the double-oh sector, Bond and Moneypenny develop a hand-in-glove relationship. Bond scouts around and collects gossip from satellite government offices and various London hotels. Meanwhile, Moneypenny collects intel from committee meetings and whispers in the halls outside M's office. Then she and Bond have lunch meetings to swap intel. Bond is a great asset to Moneypenny's gossip empire!)

Q: Perennially oblivious to gossip. Knows literally Nothing about who is shagging whom, or who has a workplace beef with whom. He is VERY busy and important and occupied with everything from complex mathematical equations to budget proposals! He simply has NO TIME to dawdle in the breakroom and no desire to go to after-dinner drinks with the minions! He wants to go home to his cats and SLEEP!

Anyway, this leads to awkward situations where Q attends the office holiday party and naively asks a fellow department head if her husband is in attendance...not realizing that this particular employee had a quiet (though very bitter and contentious) divorce four months prior. Oops! R and Moneypenny take to briefing Q on a regular basis to help him avoid these embarrassing lapses.

R: Extremely knowledgeable about all goings-on in Q-branch. She is, however, utterly indifferent to anything outside her own kingdom. Could not care less whether that man in Accounting is cheating on his wife. However, she knows all there is to know about what the R&D interns and ballistics techs get up to in their free time.

Tanner: He oversees literally all Internal Security business and receives regular updates from multiple people (Moneypenny included). So he is very much up to date. Not interested in gossip for gossip's sake, though. He just wants to be sure nobody is doing anything that will jeopardize national security or leave MI6 open to a sexual harassment lawsuit. When it comes to personal matters between consenting individuals...well. Tanner is very expert at turning a blind eye.

He saw Bond and Q flirting while fondling a gun that Q was passing over to Bond? No, he didn't. He happened to be looking at the wall clock, and he saw NOTHING. Thank you for your understanding!

Mallory: I feel like Mallory is always on the cutting-edge of political gossip. He knows EVERYTHING about the movers-and-shakers in the government. Absolutely everything. He is always 100% caught up on that mess. He is significantly less knowledgeable about what his employees get up to, though. Most of his time is spent liaising with foreign intelligence agencies, pushing through requests for additional funding, or fending off the interference of MI5. For better or for worse, he relies heavily on Moneypenny and Tanner to keep him caught up on internal matters.

[aniron48]

It's WIP Wednesday!

Hi, friends! It's been a while since I've done one of these!

Today's excerpt comes from a WIP where Bond samples a brownie from a plate he finds sitting around in Q Branch. Unfortunately for Bond, the brownie is laced with [spoilers redacted! 😁], and Q has to take him home for 24 hours to keep an eye on him. Finished work to include careless Q Branch minions getting a bollocking; Q's cats being adorable; James Bond being functionally high; overdue conversations; Taki's FUEGO; and ::checks notes--shit how did that get in there??:: a little bit of angst. Excerpt starts below the cut:

“Your dad is very pretty,” Bond told the sphynx cat stretched out next to him on the floor. Bond frowned. “Handsome,” he corrected. And then again: “He’s both, actually.”

Bond rolled onto his stomach, resting his head on one of the couch cushions that were currently strewn all over the floor. He slowly reached out a hand toward the cat, Benny, who was wearing a fuzzy purple jumper with bright green musical notes embroidered on it. “I think I’d just like to…pat you on your little belly.”

Benny slowly pulled back a paw, claws at the ready.

“Oh my god, Bond, don’t fall for the belly lure, it’s the oldest trick in the book.” Q snatched Bond’s hand out of the way and pushed it back toward him, before pulling out his mobile and dialing Moneypenny.

“He’s deteriorating,” he said into the phone. “How soon can you get here?”

cc: @mi6-cafe

[stormofsharpthings]

AO3 First Lines

Rules: Post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to AO3 (Sort by date posted.) If you have less than 10 fics posted, post what you have!

Thank you for tagging me @samanthahirr and @thestalwartheart!

Saito stared at the bare spot on the display shelf where a tiny netsuke, an intricately sculpted figurine of a fish that fit comfortably in the palm of a hand, was missing. To Catch A Thief - Inception

Nomi crossed her arms and leaned back against the cabinet, watching the scowling Q Branch minions tap away at their keyboards outside of Q’s office. Trouble - James Bond 'verse

Robert Fischer woke up. Dawn - Inception

"Yeah, sorry, but…what exactly are we doing out here, darling?" It's the Great Pumpkin, Mr. Eames - Inception/co-written with @deinvatiwrites

Arthur had never been in the Peak District of England before, and he hadn't realized that it would be so…mountainous, despite the name. Cache - Inception

"A dart board? I ask for a gun and you give me little pointy throwing toys?" Bad Hare Day - James Bond 'verse

Arthur glared at the sobbing man huddled on the floor. Personal Demons - Inception (AELDWS)

009 set a reddish cocktail, served in a tall curvy glass and garnished with an overabundance of maraschino cherries and orange slices, on the table with a glare. Matters of Taste - James Bond 'verse

MI6 was quiet this late at night. A Midsummer Night's Mission - James Bond 'verse

Arthur paced around their bedroom, poking at his phone and scowling. With A Little Help From My Friends - Inception (AELDWS)

I think I'll throw a few friends under the bus in alphabetical order... @christinefromsherwood @deinvatiwrites @iamanonniemouse @soufflegirl91 and anyone else who would like to play along!

[10moonymhrivertam]

I've been trying to put a fresh coat of paint on Once and Future Spy for a while now and I've made a start. This may change again so that's why it's not going to AO3 yet wheeeeee

--

Merlin’s fingers rapped along the keys, his eyes unfocused somewhere past his computer screen, echoing the magic that was spread through the system, looking for any obvious flaws in their security.

“You asked to see me?” He blinked, suppressing a millennium-old flinch. He focused on Bond and a frown tugged at the corners of his lips.

“Yes, 007, I did.” He folded his hands across his desk and just let his stare sit. The illusion he favored at the moment didn’t quite have the stature for it, but he let his age drive it. For a few moments, Bond bore it with stoicism, but then he twitched his eyebrows upwards.

“Do you have something to say to me, Quartermaster?” Merlin bit back a sigh.

“Perhaps you ought to stay out of Q-Branch until you’re called.”

“Is this some new rule I’m not aware of?” His attention was already drifting to the prototypes. Damn him. Merlin stood up, drawing his eyes back, but only for a moment.

“Are you aware of how you affect my team when you loiter?”

The corner of Bond’s lips tugged up. “I make your minions a bit nervous, do I?”

“You’ve trained to kill for years, I imagine you make a number of people in this office nervous.” Bond turned back to him, eyebrows up again.

“Do I, Q?” Oh, fuck, but that purr went straight to places it shouldn’t. “What about you?”

He couldn’t help but snort. “Dream on.”

That did seem to throw him off a bit. He straightened up. “You could show me a little respect.” His tone was pleasant enough, despite the complaint.

“Ah. Yes. Excuse me. Dream on, agent.”

To his surprise, Bond huffed out a chuckle. On the bright side, he did seem to have fully captured Bond’s attention, now. On the other hand, he was suddenly unsure that was a good thing.

“When are you off?”

“I’m sorry?”

Bond nodded, his expression briefly flashing to something apologetic. “I’m tempted to ask you to meet me in the gym. See if you can back up that attitude with anything.”

Now, Merlin’s strength still wasn’t anything stellar. But all the chores he tried to keep doing the old way and the sword he’d kept for the sake of all the knights’ work on him meant he was a far cry from the boy of sixteen summers who’d first gotten into a fight he couldn’t hope to win.

“Hand-to-hand?” He asked warily.

“With. Anything.” Bond repeated, staring into his eyes. Merlin shivered.

“I’ll see you at seven,” he blurted.

“Seven, then.” There was the purr again. Bond pulled back, and had the decency to leave Q-Branch entirely. Hopefully that would cut down his subordinate’s stress levels and head off an anxiety attack or two. Merlin’s pulse rushed as he considered whether giving in to the temptation to bring his flail was wildly unfair, or the only way to guarantee an even playing field.

[ramblingsofafanatic]

Okay... Jim

Summary: Q gets back at James for ruining his equipment by calling him Jim.

Word Count: 573

Relationships: Q/James Bond

Warnings: No warnings

Can also be read on AO3 here!

“And the radio?”

“Bottom of the pacific”

Q looks down at the smashed remains of the walther that was just placed onto his desk, groaning internally at all the work he’s going to have to do now.

“Could you at least try and bring it back in less pieces next time... Jim.” Q says, finally looking up to meet the gaze of the agent. James smiles tightly and Q can see some of the minions looking up from their work to watch the interaction. Watching these two interact appear to be one of their favourite pastimes when they should be working.

“I’ll try, see you later, Q” James says before turning on his heel and walking out of Q-branch. The minions quickly getting back to work as the agent strolls past.

~~~

Q walks into their flat and pauses trying to listen to see where James is, though he can’t really hear much other than the cats meowing for attention at his feet.

“James, I’m home” He announces as he takes off his jacket and puts his bag on the ground, toeing his shoes off before moving further into the flat. There’s no sign of James anywhere, but the bedroom door is closed so Q just assumes he’s in there. The cats jump up onto the counter when he enters the kitchen and he pets them as he goes about making tea.

“Hello” James greets and Q jumps and tries to turn around but is stopped by the agents arms wrapping around him, he relaxes at that and leans back into the embrace.

“Hello.” Q replies.

“Jim, really?” James asks, resting his chin on Q’s shoulder.

“Figured it was good enough payback for the broken equipment” Q replies.

“Mmm, but did you take into account that I would retaliate?” James says.

“Was destroying my equipment not enough?”

“Nope” And with that he starts moving his fingers over Q’s side slowly.

“James no.” Q says trying to get out of his grip. James starts tickling him before he can though and Q starts to thrash around more in attempts to get away.

“James stop!” Q yells in between bouts of laughter.

“Not until you say you’re sorry.” James replies, smiling.

“Never!” Q replies stubbornly.

“Then I guess... I’m just never going to stop tickling you” James says as he doubles his efforts.

“Okay! Okay! I surrender! I’m sorry!” Q says.

“For?”

“Calling you Jim at work!” Q replies and the tickling finally stops. Q slumps to the floor, leaning against the counter and trying to catch his breath.

“Promise not to do it again?” James says moving to sit beside Q on the floor. The cats immediately jump onto their laps at this, demanding to be pet.

“Yes, I promise not to call you Jim at work.” Q says, petting Pampuria.

“Good, wanna go relax and watch netflix?” James replies, moving his arm to go around Q’s shoulder.

“Okay, Sounds good... Jim”

“Q” James warns, moving his arm down to Q’s side.

“You only made me promise not to call you that at work.” Q points out quickly. James sighs in defeat before moving to get up, pushing Turing off his lap.

“Fine, but I’ll only let you get away with it this once.” James says as he goes to the living room. Q hums in response, petting Pampuria a couple more times before he gets up to finish making his tea and join James.

[walkfromhome]

The (Central Asian) Khazar name is derived from Turkic *qaz-, meaning "to wander." The Ashina was considered a sacred clan of quasi-divine status. Q1 actually refers to the subclade Q-P36.2.  The Ashina clan, a noble caste, carry the 16q24.3 "red gene" inherited from the Sumerian Annunaki, the root of the Dragon seed that permeates royal lines: Merovingian, Carolingian, Tudor, Plantagenet, Stuart, Hapsburg, Hanoverian, Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Guelph, Bowes-Lyon, Battenberg (Mountbatten), Guise, and Savoy families - and Transylvanian lineages. The Davidic House of Judah married into the descent of the Merovingian Kings of the Franks. They are connected by a shared bloodline. The dragon archetype rests within the Dragon blood, passed on through the genes.

According to Nicholas de Vere, "Briefly, the Dragon lineage starts in the Caucasus with the Annunaki, descending through migrating proto-Scythians to the Sumerians while branching off also into the early Egyptians, Phoenicians and Mittani. A marriage bridge back to Scythia infused the Elvin line of “Tuatha de Danaan” and the Fir Bolg, which branched into the Arch-Druidic, Priest-Princely family to the Royal Picts of Scotland and the ring kings of the Horse Lords of Dal Riada, through the Elven dynasty of Pendragon and Avallon del Acqs, and down to a few pure bred families today."

The Royal Court of the Dragon was founded by the priests of Mendes in about 2200 BC and was subsequently ratified by the 12th dynasty Queen Sobeknefru. This sovereign and priestly Order passed from Egypt to the Kings of Jerusalem; to the Black Sea Princes of Scythia (Princess Milouziana of the Scythians) and into the Balkans - notably to the Royal House of Hungary, whose King Sigismund reconstituted the Court just 600 years ago. Sigismund’s assumed descent from Melusine. Her ancestry actually can be traced back to the Scythian Dragon Princess Scota, Queen Sobekh Nefru and the Egyptian Cult of the Dragon. Vlad Dracul was a minion of Sigismund of Luxembourg, and was educated at the Emperor's court in Nuremberg. Dracul was invested into Societas Draconis.

The Byzantine Emperor Constantine was a Dragon King. The Byzantine emperor Leo III married his son Constantine (V) to the Khazar princess as part of the alliance between the two empires. Princess Tzitzak was baptized as Irene. Their son Leo (Leo IV) was known as "Leo the Khazar", emperor of the Eastern Roman (Byzantine) Empire from 775 to 780.

The re-expansion of paternal group R1b and maternal group H from the Basque Ice Age refuge spread up the coasts of all the countries facing the Atlantic, after the ice melted. The British Isles retained higher rates than the other countries, for several reasons related specifically to early movements directly from the Basque country rather than from general diffusion from western Europe. First, as a result of lower sea levels, the British Isles, in particular Ireland, were connected and at the furthest edge of the extended Ice Age European continent, and thus received the bulk of early coastal migration. Then, as sea levels rose, first Ireland then Britain became islands, relatively insulated from further migration from elsewhere in Europe, thus preserving their high rates of R1b and similarity to the initial settlements. The means by which I could separate the R1b types in the British Isles from those on the other side of the channel is by the use of “Founder Analysis.” That is, looking at the detail of their gene types (so-called STR haplotypes). These revealed 21 founding clusters, which could only have arrived direct from the Basque country. Their descendant twigs are unique to the British Isles.

(Source)