#pyotrkochetkov
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comphy-and-cozy · 1 year ago
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congrats on your milestone, c! 🩷
🦋 may i please request the prompt “you always being in my life is gift enough” with brady skjei? - @pyotrkochetkov
always @pyotrkochetkov 🖤 this is kind of an unofficial sequel to midnight rain since I still haven't quite gotten around to writing you a full fic
celebrate 1K with me
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Prompt: "You always being in my life is gift enough."
Pairing: Brady Skjei x Reader (gn)
Word Count: ~800
Warnings: Just some really heart melting, tooth-rotting fluff with our handsome Disney prince who is the world's most perfect boyfriend
Though it’s your second go at a relationship, you’re still getting used to all of the feelings and comforts of having a boyfriend. As if he wants to prove himself, he’s always pulling out all of the stops: holding the door open for you, calling you to say goodnight every night on a road trip, sending you love notes when his flights land. It’s almost overwhelming, in the best possible way, your cup overflowing with love and adoration from the man who never gave up on you.
Tonight is date night, and he hasn’t told you anything except to dress comfortably and be prepared to be outdoors. You’re both excited and perplexed, looking through your closet for what might be the perfect outfit—except you don’t know what that looks like, because you have no idea what he’s got planned. 
Eventually, after tearing apart half of your wardrobe, you’re dressed and ready to go, just in time to see a text come through from Brady telling you he’s on his way to pick you up.
It’s not long before there’s a knock on your door, and, like always, you’re blown away by the handsome smile that waits for you when you answer it. This time, he’s got flowers and a gift bag in his hand, and he leans forward to peck your lips.
He ushers you inside, sitting you at the kitchen counter to set the beautiful bouquet of flowers in a vase, then to open up the gift bag. Inside the bag is a poorly-drawn handmade map of what you believe is Raleigh, complete with sticky notes and barely legible chicken scratch.
Confused, you look up at him. “What… is it?”
He laughs. “It’s a scavenger hunt. I made it.”
Your eyebrows raise. “You made it?”
“Yup.” 
Eyeing the shoddy color-coded key on the bottom, you click your tongue. “Actually, yeah, that checks out.” 
Brady snorts, playfully nudging your shoulder to reprimand you for teasing him. He checks his watch, then adds, “Let’s get going so we can stay on schedule.”
“On schedule?” you ask as he grabs your hand, tugging you out the door.
The scavenger hunt is extremely well-planned, and you wonder whose help he elicited to execute it so flawlessly. Probably one of the wives, no doubt, and you resist the urge to giggle at the image of Brady sitting at his kitchen counter doing his best to copy the map on his laptop screen.
His hand-drawn map includes several stops throughout Raleigh, each of them holding a special meaning to you: your first date location, favorite ice cream shop, coffee shop, the bar where you ran into each other again, causing you to rekindle your relationship. At each stop, you pick up another clue that ultimately leads you to your final destination: a candlelit picnic at Moore Square. 
“Brady, this is so sweet and thoughtful,” you gasp, eyes taking in the soft blanket and wicker picnic basket, a bottle of Pinot Grigio and two wine glasses balanced gently against the edge. Your heart warms at the effort and attentiveness he put into this—by all accounts a normal, mundane date night—but you can't say you're surprised.
His smile is beautiful, the evening sun casting a glow over him and highlighting the grays in his hair. He’s perfect, you think. 
“Happy 6 month anniversary, baby.”
Oh shit. You forgot all about it—due in part to the fact that you didn’t really think people celebrated milestones like that, and secondly that you weren’t really sure which date really counted as your anniversary. Your heartbeat quickens as you rack your brain for anything you can think of last minute—something lying around at your apartment that you could throw together—but nothing comes.
“But I didn’t get you anything,” you say, guilt washing over you as you look over the spread inside the picnic basket: assorted fruits and veggies with what appears to be homemade (!!!) dips, pasta salad, and a smattering of finger foods.
“Hey, it’s totally fine. I don’t care about that,” he replies, tucking a finger under your chin to encourage you to look back up at him. “You always being in my life is gift enough.”
His words, as always, make your heart melt into a puddle, and you know that you have the most disgusting lovesick expression plastered on your face. When did you become such a simp? “Brady, I’m serious.”
“So am I, love. You don’t ever have to get me a gift as long as you kiss me goodnight every night.”
You hum, pushing the food to the side in favor of leaning in towards him. His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning, and you hope to yourself that you will always feel this way around him. As you press your lips against his, the world around you stops spinning, quiet and empty save for just the two of you, kissing in the park.
“I think I can manage that.”
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captainnickfoligno · 1 year ago
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5 and 98 🤪 - @pyotrkochetkov
hehehe tysm katie!
5:
98: answered :)
send me a number 1-100 and i'll tell you the corresponding song on my top 100!
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smileysvech · 2 years ago
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23, 26, 30 😌 -pyotrkochetkov (yes this is koochie asking)
omg hi koochie! tell ur russian winger bf I say hi!!
23: a song that you think everybody should listen to
playing it cool by nykki
26: a song that makes you want to fall in love
tuesdays by jake scott
30: a song that reminds you of yourself
texas sun by leon bridges
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thewintersoldierdisaster · 1 year ago
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#content like this is gonna force my hand and make me write for him one day
does this mean i’m doing my job right 👀 -pyotrkochetkov
i am definitely being influenced in that direction 😅
@pyotrkochetkov
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titsbeauvillier · 9 months ago
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why do our men keep trading off injuries???? - @pyotrkochetkov
the circle of our dumbasses getting injured is never-ending and is definitely one of the circles of hell in dante's inferno
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andreisvechnikov · 1 year ago
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svech, fishy, barzy 🫶🏼 - @pyotrkochetkov
hello my friend you have given me a big challenge!!!
husband: svechy
him again but a super, super close call because Mr. Fish and Andrei are pretty much tied in my heart of hearts
one night stand: barzy
mat barzal are you free thursday night?? im free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.
best friend: sepe
this man is a ride or die for his besties I've seen it!! and I would like to try out a sauna
send me three players!
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sweetmintpastry · 5 months ago
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teuvo teräväinen stays a cane teuvo teräväinen stays a cane teuvo teräväinen stays a ca-
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cowboybarzy · 10 months ago
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So y/n goes to this game like always everyone knows she’s barzal wife or girlfriend when the fight happens something snaps and she’s like yelling acting like there gonna hear her saying “HEY THATS MY MAN DONT TOUCH HIM LIKE THAT” people are recording her or she lands on the jumbo screen and the guys saying there’s go barzal gf or wife love to see this. They both end up going viral on Twitter mat was over the fight but y/n still was mad and going on and on saying wtf I would of squashed him if I was right there because no one grabs my man like that 😤 mat finds it entertaining because he’s never seen her this worked up and he’s kinda turned on by it knowing she would fight for him LOL even tho he wouldn’t allow it but he ends up kissing her by how in love he is with her maybe gets alittle smutty
now that fight last night was quite something and god Mathew I want you to do it again! but not too often, I need you to keep looking pretty.
wc: 820
cw: alludes to sex, but not really smut (sorry I’m working on other smut rn haha and didn’t have much time to write today)
gif made by @pyotrkochetkov
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You turned around from the conversation you were having with a friend to see Mat finally come out of the locker room area. When he was close enough, you could see there was a big red bruise coating his nose and part of his cheek from the fight he was in earlier. “Aw, baby, are you ok?”
“Perfectly fine.” His smile was sweet and crooked as he wrapped his arms around you. Your lips brushed gently against his bruised skin then finally landed on his lips.
Once you were sure he was fine, you pulled apart and playfully punched him in the chest. “What the hell were you thinking? Fighting? Maty! You know my rule, no teeth, no wedding.”
He laughed. “I know your absolutely ridiculously absurd rule. Don’t worry, I’ll have all of my teeth for the big day.” He kissed the top of your head, still getting excited at the mention of your wedding even after months of being engaged and it being pretty much all planned already. “And he attacked me. I wasn’t about the back down. I’m not scared of a little fight.”
A rush of heat flowed through you, seeing him get worked up again. And you had to admit, as much as you hated the fighting aspect of hockey, it was kind of hot seeing Mat defend himself and get into a little brawl.
“And it looks like you’re not as mad as you’re pretending to be.” He totally picked up on your vibes.
“Alright, so maybe it was a little hot to watch,” you admitted. “But don’t make it a regular thing.”
“Sure about that?” His eyebrows raised and a little mischievous grin appeared as he pulled you closer to him by your hips.
“At least not until after the wedding. I need you looking pretty for the pictures.”
“Alright, no more fights until the wedding.”
———
“Ok, so maybe I will keep up the fights if you’re going to be this turned on afterwards,” Mat mumbled out of breath when you rolled off him, back onto the mattress.
“You made a promise,” you responded, yelping when his lips were back on your skin in seconds. His teeth graded your neck, down your naked chest.
“It’s very hard to resist.” He came back up to kiss you passionately. You had lost count of the amount of times you had sex within the last few hours of coming home from the game, sleeping, and waking up to more sex.
“Alright, get off me I’m starving.” He fell back into the pillows with a laugh, but instead of getting up to go to the kitchen, you grabbed your phone for your daily morning phone time. Mat did the same.
To your surprise, there were a ton of notifications. Texts, instagram, twitter, etc. And also from people you didn’t even know. A quick investigation told you that you were in fact the reason for all the fuss.
“You seen this?” Mat had the same expression on his face, as he was looking through the exact same type of notifications. People sending a video of you from the game last night, yelling during Mat’s fight. The person who filmed it was too far away to pick up audio, but based on reading your lips, people could tell you were yelling something the lines of ‘HEY THATS MY MAN DONT TOUCH HIM LIKE THAT’.
You looked to Mat for his reaction, but he was just laying there, naked, watching the video over and over again, his jaw slowly dropping. You watched him nervously, internally cringing that a video of you like that was currently trending. Mat finally faced you.
“My girl.” He laughed and was back on top of you in seconds. “My feisty girl. And here I thought you were upset I was fighting, but you would have easily stepped in.”
“I was just trying to protect your pretty face.” He smiled wide and started attacking you with kisses, sucking and biting your skin.
“I had no idea you could get so worked up.”
“I’ve been hanging around you for too long.” He chuckled and kissed you deeply. You could never get enough of him.
“Protecting me. I’m supposed to be the one protecting you.”
“You clearly need it.” You loved teasing him, especially since his kisses got more intense the longer it went on.
“I’m pretty sure I won that fight last night, so I can protect myself.” He got on his knees and his lips wandered down your body. One of his hands grabbed your breast, massaging it, while his lips started assaulting the other. He licked around your nipple, sucking and biting it playfully. “But my job is to take care of you.”
He moved further down the mattress, getting ahold of your thighs and roughly pulling them apart. “Now be a good girl and let me do my job.”
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mendeshoney · 2 months ago
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this close isn't close enough
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a/n: happy thirsty thurday fellow harlots ^_^
this is a small little part 3 ish/sequel to take me back to eden (you can find part one here and part two here) that just popped into my head and i figured i'd jot it down for you all to enjoy. it does discuss wanting and trying for a child, so if that's not something you're comfortable with, this may not be for you, so read with caution. this is for @pyotrkochetkov and @smileysvech because without them this fictional andrei wouldn't exist! title is from "melt" by kehlani
warnings/tags: nine year age gap, older man x younger woman, slice of married life, baby fever, fluff, lots of smut, shower sex, hotel sex (semi-public, against the window), oral sex, unprotected sex, mentions of pregnancy/impregnation
word count: 12,163
“Almaznyy?” Andrei calls out, removing his reading glasses with one hand as he shuts his laptop with the other, then rubs the bridge of his nose.
He counts to ten in his head, waiting for your response, but it doesn’t come. The soft and familiar whrrrrr of a machine echoes back at him instead, and he sighs, a small smile stretching across his face as he gets up from his desk to wander down the hall.
When he makes it down the hall and to the threshold that leads to you, he's not surprised in the slightest to find you at your pottery wheel. Your back is to him as you sit on your stool, headphones on as your body lightly moves along to the music playing, hands firm and shaping the clay in front of you into what he knows is the makings of a teapot.
Beside you, on the work table, Andrei sees two mugs newly finished with their handles attached, two finished matching saucer plates that need to be painted with glaze and fired, and two little spoons, already fired and glazed, probably newly taken out of the kiln. Beyond that, he also spots two jars - one for honey and one for sugar cubes, you had told him - and three brand new jars of glaze.
He takes a second to himself to just silently admire you, his beautiful wife of nearly two years, and lets his heart beat wild and content in his chest.
Andrei had converted one of his guest rooms into your own little art studio not long after you moved in with him, and by converted, he means he took out all the furniture, stripped the carpet, and let you decorate and furnish it how you saw fit.
He tried his best to learn as much as he could about what kinds of art you liked creating, the tools you used, but in truth, a lot of it was lost on him, and you had more mediums of art you were interested in than you cared to admit. Andrei had ended up giving you his card instead, telling you to buy whatever it was you needed or wanted, so that the space became exactly what you had always dreamed of.
You had been meticulous about it, too, and Andrei adored every second of watching you design the space back then. The flooring was first - you insisted on water and stain proof vinyl floors - followed by shelves, storage drawers, a small desk, your massive work table, and other organizing things. Then, once you had a place and space for everything, you bought canvases, a pottery wheel, clay, easels, paints, a sketchbook, pencils, pens, markers, and more.
You’d bought a kiln, too, which had its own place in a little shed he bought and had built for you outside. Since you'd gotten back into pottery and started making pieces, you'd been able to sell some to a few of the wives, girlfriends, and partners of players on the team, as well as some of Andrei's co-workers in the Canes' front office. You had even put a few up of your paintings and drawings you'd done on your larger canvases in their charity auctions over the last couple of years, which had given you a significant amount of your own money.
Andrei encouraged you to go legit and open up a shop, which was an idea you'd been slowly getting used to. You'd set up a website so far, and had sold your first collection a couple of months ago - planters and vases and hanging planters and such - which had done extremely well, but you insisted you wanted to still be able to find fun in doing it again instead of allowing it to feel like an obligation.
To help with that as of late, had been your project of a tea set for his mom's birthday, which was still months away. You'd been using the kiln a lot more because of it, for test pieces as well as the actual pieces themselves, so more often than not lately, your art studio is where he found you.
"If you call for me and I don't respond to you in ten seconds," you'd told him when you first started on the set, "I'm either in here, or at the kiln out back."
Quietly, he observes as you shape the lump of clay in the center of your wheel into a sphere, then, unhappy with the roundness, you carefully squeeze at it until it's back into another lump, before shaping it out once more. The rise of your shoulders before they tense as you start to create a hole in the middle of the clay, and the fall of them again when you start to pinch at the walls until it forms into the exact shape you want.
Only when you stop the wheel and dip your hands into the bowl of water beside you to get rid of the excess clay does Andrei approach, carefully placing his hands on your shoulders to give you a gentle squeeze.
You tilt your head back, bumping it into his abdomen gently as you gaze up at him with his favorite dazzling smile. He carefully removes your headphones, putting it on the work table and smoothing your hair down.
"Hi baby," he murmurs, bending down to press a kiss to your forehead, the tip of your nose, and then to your lips.
You hum softly before sitting up, turning yourself around on the stool to face him. "Hi handsome," you return, grabbing a towel from the work table and wiping your hands before settling them on his waist, fingers playing with the belt loops of his jeans. "Did you call for me a lot?"
"Just once," he says, unable to resist bending down to kiss you again.
He loves looking at you like this, soft in the mid morning light, a blissful smile on your face with dots of clay and glaze over your cheeks and on the little apron you have covering your clothes. He loves how he can smell the vanilla of your body wash among the earthen scents in the art studio, and how it makes him feel like he's completely at peace.
Andrei loves you. His almaznyy. His beautiful diamond. His wife.
"What's going on?" You ask him, those beautiful eyes crinkling at the edges in another one of his favorite smiles when his hands descend into your hair, carding the strands between his fingers.
"I bought the tickets for us to go and visit Evgeny and Sara." He says.
"Oh good," you say with a nod before leaning into his touch. "When do we leave?"
"Next week," he says, tugging playfully on a strand of your hair and chuckling softly when you pout at him for it. "Is that okay?"
You wrap your arms around his waist, rubbing your face into his clothed abdomen, your verbal response muffled in the fabric. Andrei laughs, scratching gently at your scalp. "What was that, almaznyy?"
"Da," you say, leaning back to look at him again but keeping your arms secured around his waist. "That's fine with me."
He smirks when he spots a familiar glint in your eyes, watching the way your pupils dilate then blow out a little wide when he cups your face in his hands, thumbs caressing at your jaw. "My busy little almaznyy, you've been working hard lately, haven't you?"
You nod, humming in agreement. He nods too, letting one of his hands trail down and to the back of your neck, deftly undoing the knots at the top of your apron. "So diligent," he praises, "What did I do to deserve you?"
Your eyes track him as he removes his hands from your body, lowering himself to his knees so he can wrap his arms around your waist to get at the ties behind you. He buries his face into your neck as he does so, adoring the way your head immediately tilts to allow him the room. He ghosts his lips across the skin as he undoes the ties around your waist, ignoring your little whines of protest when he pulls the apron off of you and tosses it to the side.
He sits back on his haunches, looking up at you with a Cheshire grin of his own. "You got clay on your clothes too, almaznyy." He playfully chastises, gesturing towards the little flecks of clay on the black shirt you're wearing - which is most definitely his - and to the miniscule spots on your sweatpants. "Think we should probably get you cleaned up in that case, shouldn't we?"
A small smirk crosses your lips as you nod, and Andrei smiles, surging up to wrap you in his arms. You go easily, both your bodies on muscle memory as you wrap your arms around his neck and legs around his waist, and he lifts you into his hold easily, standing with you and carrying you off down the hall to your bedroom.
~
The warm spray of the shower cascades down his bare back as Andrei fucks you slow and deep against the tiles, his arms settled into the space behind your knees as he holds you up and open for him.
Your cries echo around the bathroom, your arms wrapped around his neck and fingers tangled in his hair, grasping at the strands desperately, his name a repeated plea on your lips.
"More," you beg sweetly, and he smiles, eyes locked on your face. He lowers you a little bit, and on the next push in, your eyes flutter shut as your mouth falls open in a beautiful cry, pussy squeezing around his cock in a way that makes him so fucking dizzy.
"Come on baby," he coaxes, pressing you impossibly closer against the tiles and against himself, burying his face in your neck to suck a bruise into the skin. With every press of his hips forward, your clit grinds against his abs, and he can feel the way your body begins to tense up and shake in his hold, your nails disappearing from his scalp to dig into his shoulders instead.
His name leaves your lips in another desperate plea, and he chuckles, nipping playfully at the skin of your neck, your jaw, before capturing your lips in a filthy kiss. He licks into your mouth, massaging his tongue with yours before he pulls away just slightly, dragging your bottom lip between his teeth as he goes.
"Is my pretty wife going to come on her husband's cock?" He taunts, and he sees the way the words go straight through you, your eyes glazing over, body going almost lax in his grip.
(He'd gotten much filthier and practically insane with his dirty talk over time. It started not long after you'd left Eden and began officially dating nearly seven months after meeting, and had only gotten more intense during the three month time span that you'd been engaged. It didn't help the fact that he noticed you particularly loved when he called you his wife, regardless of the situation.)
"Andrei," you plead. "Please."
"Please what, pretty baby?" He murmurs, dragging his lips against yours lazily, "What is it my pretty wife wants, hm?"
Your pussy squeezes down again and he groans, stealing another filthy kiss from you. "'M so close," you say between kisses, dragging your nails across his shoulders again.
He keeps your legs hooked over his bent arms, reaching his hands down to squeeze at your waist, thumb rubbing gently over where he knows a little diamond tattoo sits at your side, fucking you onto his cock in deep, sharp thrusts that steal your breath from you, and your eyes squeeze shut as your body shakes even more in his hold.
Andrei latches his lips to that sensitive spot on your neck, pressing his body tight against yours. That, and the added friction as your clit rubs against his abs, your sensitive nipples brushing against his chiseled chest, has you coming around him with a loud cry. Your pussy clamps down, pulsing around him and Andrei groans, holding you tight as he fucks past the grip, chasing after his own orgasm.
He groans low and deep, electricity shooting up his spine as he comes, filling you from where he's buried deep. It sends your body into a second orgasm almost immediately, and Andrei curses, muttering a string of Russian in your ear at the unexpected sensation.
You both take a blissful, fucked out moment to calm down, heartbeats slowing and breathing returning to normal.
"Okay?" He murmurs after a few minutes, and you nod, sighing happily in his hold. He taps your hips, and you nod again. An unhappy sounding noise leaves you when he gently pulls out, and his heart aches a little bit, thinking you’re probably sore. He’s immediately pressing apologetic kisses to your forehead while lowering you to the ground. His hands stay on your body, keeping you steady until you manage to stand on your own.
When his eyes finally get back to your face, there's an expression there he hasn't seen before, one he can't quite place. There's a tinge of disappointment there, and longing, and it brings a frown to his face too.
He cups your face in his hands, tilting your head up to look at him. When your eyes lock, the expression fades, and the smile that takes over your face is so brightly it almost knocks him off of his feet.
"What's wrong, almaznyy?" He says, thumb brushing against your cheeks.
You lean into his touch, hands circling around his wrists. "Nothing, Drei." You promise, "I'm perfectly happy."
There's nothing in your voice or in your face now that tells him that you're lying, or that you're hiding anything from him, so he has no reason to not believe you.
Still, he stores the expression he saw away for later, keeping it in mind just in case.
He takes his time washing you both off after that, enjoying the content noises you make as he shampoos your hair and wraps you up in a fluffy towel when you're all done, pressing gentle kisses all over your face before seizing your mouth in a kiss he hopes tells you "I'm so in love with you I think my heart might burst without you."
~
Andrei quickly darts out of the way as a little boy zooms past him, his father chasing after him and tossing a “sorry!” over his shoulder as he goes.
He laughs a little, calling out a “it’s okay!” in their way as he double checks that he still has a hold on your drinks and food before he keeps walking. 
He heads back into the airport lounge and straight for you, handing you a cup of hot chocolate and a warmed up croissant from one of the bistros in the terminal. You accept it with a happy smile and a murmured ‘thank you’ before he snuggles up next to you on the little couch you’ve both managed to commandeer for yourselves.
He glances over at your airport outfit once more, mostly because he can’t help but appreciate how cozy you look.
Admittedly, he’s still got a small habit of dressing up when he flies, so he’s his standard in black pants and a white shirt, and you insisted on matching with him when you got dressed this morning. You’re in black lounge pants, a white shirt, and you have a gray sweater tied and resting around your shoulders.
Andrei figured out that when you fly you prefer to have your own blanket with you, which you have curled around your shoulders right now as you take a sip of your hot chocolate.
You look more ready for a cozy winter than you do for a week-long vacation during the summer in San Jose.
“Is it good baby?” He asks, taking a sip of his own coffee. You nod, holding the cup to your cheek. Another thing he learned - you get cold easily, but especially in airports.
“Very,” you nod, leaning your head to rest on his shoulder. “Spasibo, malysh.”
“You’re welcome, almaznyy.” 
He’s content to relax like that with you, and when he takes his phone out once you’ve finished your drinks, you help him with the crossword puzzle game he became addicted to once he saw you playing it yourself.
The two of you are engrossed in trying to figure out a six letter word for the clue “tough” when there’s a blur of pale yellow accompanied by a flurry of giggles that crashes into your legs, and it makes both of you jump up a little in surprise.
It’s a baby boy, Andrei realizes, one who’s most likely just learned what running is given the delighted and mischievous expression on his face, and when he turns to check if you’re okay, he’s surprised to find you out of your seat, blanket abandoned, and kneeling on the floor in front of the child to see if they’re okay.
The baby looks like he’s seconds from crying, but then you’re smiling, speaking at him quietly and gently, and to Andrei’s amazement, the baby stops, looks at you, and then bursts into a fit of giggles.
You laugh, happy that you could make him feel better, and continue to speak to him while he babbles away at you. He’s seen you do it with Luka, coaxing him away from a tantrum he’d been seconds away from, and calming Mila down when she scraped her knee while learning to ride her bike that first time, and it still amazes him how good you are with kids. Something warm and fuzzy starts to grow in his heart, and it stops short when a woman who Andrei can only assume is the baby’s mother approaches.
“I’m so sorry!” She says, jogging toward where you and the baby are on the ground. “Leo’s just discovered how fast he can move but we’re still working on finding his brakes.”
“It’s alright,” you reassure her through a laugh. “My nephew Luka was the same.”
My nephew - Andrei still loved that you thought that way.
“He probably had places to be and we were just in the way, weren’t we Leo?” You tease, pulling a funny face at Leo. His mom laughs when Leo bursts into giggles, picking Leo up into her arms.
“He’s fast,” Andrei notes when you stand with her, “How old is he?”
“He just turned one,” his mom gushes. 
You make a little cooing sound. “Is he your first?”
Leo’s mother shakes her head with a laugh. “You’d think so, but I have a three year old too. His name’s Sky, he’s with my husband over there, we finally just got him to settle down but then this little guy decided it was time to sprint.”
You and Andrei look over to where Leo’s mom gestured, finding the three year old who almost ran him over earlier eating snacks while his dad watches over him, all the while looking over at his wife and smiling when he sees her.
Andrei knows that smile, he probably sends that same smile your way about a hundred times a day. 
Ulybka vlyublennogo muzhchiny. His mom had said. The smile of a man in love.
“You should think about getting them into sports soon.” Andrei says when he turns back toward the mom, “Sky almost tackled me in the terminal earlier-”
“-And Leo barely flinched when he ran into me!” You tease, making another funny face at the baby. He giggles, suddenly growing shy as he hides in his mom’s shoulders.
She laughs, “Everyone’s been saying that to me. I might just have to consider it.”
Andrei reaches into his pocket, grabbing his business card from his wallet and hands it to the mother with a small smile. “If you ever think they’re interested in hockey, give me a call or send me an email. I’d be happy to get them set up.”
The mother takes Andrei’s card with a curious look, and when she reads his name, her eyes light up in recognition, and she smiles, laughing a little to herself.
“I knew you looked familiar! My husband and I are big fans. We were there for your last cup winning game. It’s so nice to meet you!”
Andrei catches the glance you shoot at him from the corner of his eye, can see the tense line of your shoulders in his peripheral, but he gives the mother an easy smile, and your body relaxes.
Now that he has you, that time in his life isn’t so painful anymore.
“Thank you,” he says genuinely. “I’m glad that you were there, it felt good to have home crowd support.”
“I appreciate your offer, I’ll definitely reach out.” She says, then looks at both of you. “It was nice meeting you both, you’re such a lovely couple!”
You both say your goodbyes, you waving at baby Leo, who waves back shyly, then looks at Andrei. Andrei waves too, and to his surprise, baby Leo waves back to him too, before burying his face in his mother’s shoulder.
You finally return to your seat on the couch next to Andrei, wrapping both of your arms around his, resting your chin on his shoulder as you smile brightly up at him.
“That was hot of you.” You say, which has Andrei laughing in surprise.
“What was, almaznyy?”
“You and your business cards.” You say, scrunching your nose a little. “I liked it, it was very authoritative.”
Andrei shakes his head, booping your nose with his finger. “Calm yourself down, almaznyy. I’m still not interested in being part of the mile high club.”
You roll your eyes with a shrug, but relax fully against his side. “Offer still stands.”
~
You're laying on the floor of Sara and Evgeny's living room, laughing as you bounce eight month old baby Alexei up and down against your belly, watching as his little legs kick back and forth and he babbles his joy. From beside you, three year old Luka lays on his belly as he plays with the train set Andrei had bought him last Christmas, and five year old Mila rests on your other side, coloring diligently in the sketchbook you'd bought her for her birthday.
She'd seen you drawing in one of your journals and had become both enraptured and amazed as she observed you, and then had been overjoyed when you handed her the book and pencil so she could create her own drawings as she pleased.
Her parents had been worried that she might accidentally press the pencil too tight and ruin one of your other drawings, or accidentally draw over something you had done, but either way, you would have cared less. "It's good for her to do it this way," you had told them, "so she knows what she makes is important, too."
On the couch above you, Sara's feeding a bottle to Alexei's twin brother Aleksander, watching you and her children. She smiles, nudging you gently in the side with her socked feet.
"You're a natural at this," she praises. "The kids always seem to behave better when you're here."
You scoff a little, making nonsensical noises at Alexei as he babbles back at you. "Hardly," you say. "I think it's because Andrei wears them out first."
When you and Andrei come around, he tends to round up his niece and nephews, tiring the older ones out by running around while you and Sara or Evgeny or Andrei's parents help with the twins.
Sara shakes her head. "No, he might wear them out, but they still have plenty of room to be crazy. You settle them down. This is the quietest they've been all day."
You look at your nieces and nephews at where they each are, peaceful and happy and content, and you shrug, smiling a little to yourself. "I guess so."
Sara laughs, nudging you again. "So, when are you gonna have some little ones of your own? We're outnumbered by boys here and it's your turn to pop a baby out for once."
You falter slightly, almost dropping baby Alexei straight on your face before you catch him effortlessly, trying to ignore the wave of dizziness when you launch yourself upright into a sitting position. Luka and Mila barely spare either of you a glance, too focused on what they're doing. You gaze at Sara, holding Alexei tight with one hand while shushing her with the other.
"Not so loud!" You half whisper, half yell.
Andrei and Evgeny were just in the kitchen not too far away, and while they were probably distracted by shop talk, you couldn't risk him hearing like this.
Sara narrows her eyes at you, frowning, whisper-yelling right back. "You told me on the phone last week that you were going to talk to him about it! And the week before that, and two weeks before that!"
You groan, shaking your head and beginning to bounce Alexei again when he starts to fuss. Sara shakes her head right back at you, gesturing for you to follow her as she heads toward the twins' nursery, instructing Mila and Luka to "wait right here while mommy talks to your aunt."
As you head to the nursery, you pass Andrei and Evgeny who are, as expected, engrossed in their conversation, but it doesn't stop Andrei from tossing a wink at you as you pass by.
You pointedly ignore the way it makes butterflies swarm and swoop in your stomach, smiling softly in return before ducking out of sight and into the nursery. Sara shuts the door behind you, giving you a pointed look as she does so.
You'd had best friends before, obviously, but never an older sister figure, and none quite like Sara. When Andrei had introduced you two, she'd been nothing but welcoming, friendly, and someone you'd come to rely on quite a lot since then.
When she announced she was pregnant with twins last year, you'd been overjoyed for her, and often traveled back and forth between San Jose and Raleigh to help her with the babies, especially since it had been Evgeny's first year working with the coaching staff of the Sharks, having previously been in the front office.
Maybe it was the excitement you got in helping her decorate the nursery, even though most of it was taken care of since they had things from Luka and Mila, or maybe it was just all the preparation you helped her with, but it had given you severe baby fever.
Like...severe.
Severe enough that you were practically ready to be pregnant that very same day until reality kicked in and knocked some serious sense into you.
You'd asked her how she and Evgeny had approached the topic of having kids, if she had advice on how you should broach the subject with Andrei, and she had only one thing to say.
"They're pretty direct people," she had said. "It's best to rip the bandaid off with something like that."
A couple of months ago, she texted you a picture of the twins in the matching pajama set you'd bought, and something in it made you want to finally talk to Andrei about it. So you told Sara that you would.
But...
The second you'd gone to Andrei in his office about it, you suddenly got cold feet. Realistically, you two hadn't actually talked about having kids before. Things with the two of you had been unconventional and fast from the start, so granted, you both had done things a little messily and quite backwards.
Still, the worst he could say to you was "no" or "not right now baby," but despite your past mess you two had always been on the same page, so the idea of hearing a "not right now" was okay, but hearing "no"?
Yeah, not something you had exactly prepared yourself for.
So instead of allowing there to be room for a "no" or "not right now," you just...didn't say a word.
Which Sara was definitely going to yell at you for.
Or at least, whisper yell, what with the twins going down for their nap and all.
Sara lays a droopy Aleksander into his crib, and he falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow. She takes Alexei from you next, sitting in the rocking chair set up in the corner of the room to start to feed him his bottle while you sit on the floor, gazing at baby Aleksander through the bars of his crib.
"What in the world are you waiting for?" Sara asks you, voice soft but firm in the nursery. 
You groan a little to yourself. "I just haven't gotten around to it, okay?"
"Yes, but why?" She presses. "You know he won't say no to you."
"I actually don't know that. He might not be able to say no when I ask for help, or ask for something, but children are not things to ask for. It's an entire human being you're bringing into the world, you know!"
Sara gives you a deadpan expression. "Of course I know, I've brought four of them into existence."
"Then you know that it's a lot to ask. Even if I want a child, even if I want to be a mom and raise my kids and bring them up, that doesn't guarantee that Andrei wants the same."
"He'll want them with you." Sara insists. "He'll want them because you'll be their mother and he's in love with you and those kids will be half of you and he'll be so proud to say that they're your children."
The idea fills you with hope, but you tamp it down. You have to be realistic about this. You know your husband, and you know that while Sara's right and he will do anything for you, he also probably won't handle this being sprung on him as a surprise, or appreciate being confronted with it out of the blue.
"Just get rid of your birth control and tell him you want a kid." Sara insists, and your eyes bug out of your head.
"Are you insane?" You whisper yell. "That would definitely give him a heart attack."
"Don't be so dramatic," she says, rolling her eyes. "He's too young to have those."
"I'll talk to him," you promise, more to yourself than to Sara. "But I'm not using any of your suggestions."
Sara shrugs. "Fine by me, but there'd better be a new baby next Christmas, and it won't be mine."
~
In the kitchen, Andrei watches with fond eyes as you disappear into the nursery with Sara and the twins. He's listening to what Evgeny's talking about, he really is, but his eyes are locked on the silent screen of the baby monitor, showing you handing Alexei off to Sara after Sara's put Aleksander down.
Watching you with his niece and nephews all day had filled his heart with something warm and fuzzy, something he couldn't quite place.
The way that you cared for his family since he introduced you to them was something that made Andrei incredibly happy, and he could tell that the way that they cared for you in turn made you just as happy.
He often caught you speaking with his mother on the phone, trying your best to only stick to Russian as best as possible to make her comfortable. His father didn't reach out often, but when he did, you did your best to converse with him too. Sometimes, when you thought Andrei wasn't looking, he'd see you reading through a Russian textbook in your art studio, brushing up on the language.
You talked to Sara almost every week, the two of you growing to be as close as sisters, and that made Andrei happy considering the only real sibling relationship you had was still pretty strained. Even after Andrei married you, your brother Joshua still wasn't his favorite person, which was unfortunate, considering his husband Sam was an angel and one of your favorite people.
Evgeny had also grown closer to you a little, considering how much you helped him and Sara prepare for the arrival of the twins. There were times he'd reach out to you if he couldn't reach Andrei for any reason, and Evgeny often teased Andrei about how more often than not, it seemed like a freak accident that he'd managed to find someone like you to be his wife.
"Believe me," Andrei had told his brother. "I know."
He listens intently to his brother as he discusses what's going on with the Sharks, clearly seeking Andrei's advice, but all the while, Andrei keeps his eyes on you, watches you through the baby monitor as you sit with Sara and the twins.
Everything about your body language screams comfort, like there's nowhere in the world you'd rather be, and it brings a smile to his face unconsciously.
Evgeny pauses in his ranting, glancing to the baby monitor and rolling his eyes, shoving at Andrei. "Obrashchat' vnimaniye," he scolds. Pay attention.
"I am!" Andrei insists, turning his full attention back to his brother. "You were saying?"
Evgeny opens his mouth, then closes it, a curious expression crossing his features. "Have you thought about it?"
"About what?" Andrei asks, moving his brother so he can go into the fridge and steal one of those obnoxious glass bottles of water Evgeny insists on buying.
"About what comes after marriage," Evgeny says. "About having kids."
Andrei almost drops the water bottle on the kitchen floor, can hear it shatter in his ears, but he's pretty sure that's his brain doing that. "About what?" He asks, voice practically an echo in his head.
Evgeny shakes his head. "Ty takoy idiot."
Andrei turns to face him, frowning. "I am not an idiot."
"You are, actually. Have you two not talked about having kids?"
Andrei opens his mouth, then shuts it.
You two actually hadn't. Not really. Not at all, now that he thought about it.
Evgeny shakes his head. "Listen, I know you're enjoying your never ending honeymoon phase, but it wouldn't hurt to ask."
Andrei takes a swig from his water, glancing at you on the monitor.
You've got Alexei in your arms now, feeding him the rest of his bottle while Sara rests on the rocking chair, eyes on Aleksander.
His heart does a little flip, imagining you holding a little baby that's got your nose and his eyes, and it brings back the warm and fuzzy feeling he'd felt earlier.
Maybe...maybe it was worth a discussion.
~
Since Evgeny's house had gotten crowded with all the kids, Andrei had booked a suite for the two of you at the Marriott.
It had a lovely view of the city, especially at night, and Andrei enjoyed it even more with your naked body pressed against one of the many floor to ceiling windows, watching the way your face twisted with pleasure in the reflection of the glass.
The lights were off in the hotel room, so there wasn't a single chance of anyone seeing what the two of you were up to, but the thrill was there all the same. He wanted to show you off, show off his beautiful little wife, the only diamond he ever needed.
Your palm prints littered the window as you pushed back against him, and Andrei groaned, tightening the grip on your hips, fingers pressing against where he knew that little diamond tattoo rested beneath the waistband of your thong.
He could barely wait, barely think by the time you both got back to the hotel. The second your jeans were off, he pulled your thong to the side and slid in to the hilt, burying himself inside of you and making you come all over him in seconds.
It wasn't often that Andrei took you from behind. More often than not, he preferred looking at you, preferred watching the beautiful faces you made and watching the way your body reacted to his own. But in times like these, where there was something that could help him watch you, he couldn't exactly complain.
He releases his hold on one of your hips, letting his hands wander up your torso, bringing you upright against him as he bends his knees a little, adjusting for your height difference so he can cage you against him as he fucks into you.
Pleasant and happy noises leave you as he plays with one of your nipples, then the other, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses on your neck. His nails gently scratch at the valley between your breasts, making you shiver, before trailing his hand down your stomach.
He had every intention of putting his fingers to your clit, rubbing gently there the way you liked when he took you like this, but instead, his hands lingered on your stomach, on where he could feel the slight bulge of where his cock fucked in and out of you, and he found his hands resting there instead.
A shiver ran through your body, your pussy pushing back on his cock again as if on impulse, and a deep, pleased noise rumbled through Andrei's chest.
"Almaznyy?" He murmured against your neck, finding the sensitive spot below your ear and sucking against it gently.
You gasped in his hold, shaking a little, and he chuckled, pressing his hand against the little bulge of your stomach, the hand he still had on your waist tightening its grip, pressing his fingers a little more into the diamond tattoo.
"Can you feel me here, moya krasivaya zhena?" He asks you, cock throbbing when you squeeze against him in excitement. You loved it when he called you ‘my pretty wife.’ "Can you feel me fucking you?"
You nod, frantic, hands gripping onto his arms. "Please, malysh, wanna come."
"You wanna come already?" He taunts. "Gonna come for me in front of the whole city?"
A soft whine leaves your lips as he thrusts in particularly hard, emphasizing his question.
"Yes," you answer, nearly breathless.
“And what about me?” He teases, pressing his hand against your stomach a little more. "You want me to come inside, almaznyy? Want me to come right here?"
In the reflection of the window, he catches the way your eyes slam shut before you throw your head back against his shoulder, mouth open in a silent cry and body seizing as your orgasm claims you. Your pussy clenches impossibly tight, and it sends Andrei over the edge in seconds, pushing down on your waist to bury himself inside of you, cock throbbing almost painfully as he comes.
The two of you shake silently for a second, and Andrei holds you both upright as best as he can until he can feel your body as it calms down. He pulls out gently, not wasting a second before he scoops you up, walking you over to the bed to lay you on it gently before he climbs on beside you.
You go to him almost immediately, and his arms open on instinct, welcoming you in his embrace as you bury your nose in his chest.
He wants to say something, anything. He wants to ask you if what just happened was okay, if you're okay, if he didn't cross a line, if you maybe wanted to try that again sometime soon or maybe if you want to try it in a different position.
But then he hears your breathing start to even out, feels the way your body goes lax in his hold, and he resigns himself to discussing it another time.
~
The following day, you and Andrei head back over to Sara and Evgeny’s for lunch. You help Sara put the kids down for their naps after you all eat, and Andrei and Evgeny handle the dishes.
When you and Sara come out of the kids’ rooms, you’re met with a chorus of laughter from Andrei, Evgeny, and then their mother’s voice echoes through the living room.
Peeking around the corner, you can see Andrei and Evegny crowded around Evgeny’s laptop, definitely on FaceTime with their mother.
She signals to you to hang back, and you nod. You’re more than happy to give Andrei and his brother the alone time they need to speak with their mom, so you lean back against the wall, Sara against the one opposite you, and you smile at each other when you hear the brother excitedly converse with their mother in Russian.
Your fluency has gotten better, but it’s not one hundred percent - same with Sara’s - so the two of you can only really pick up on bits and pieces here and there, catching tidbits of their mother’s praises for her boys along with her normal chastising.
You two are looking fit!
Still, you both need to eat more. 
You’re working too hard.
Are you ready for the upcoming season?
Oh my brilliant boys!
How are my daughters?
How are the grandkids?
Evgeny, you’d better bring them by soon so I can babysit.
Andrei, how are you doing?
Are you and my favorite girl happy?
When are you two going to give me more grandchildren?!
That last part sends a shock through your body, and Sara nudges you with her foot at the same time Andrei begins to stutter and stammer in the living room.
Their mom starts to say something else when her voice gets quieter, and you realize Andrei’s turned the volume down. His voice gets a little quieter, and Evgeny’s loud laughter drowns out whatever Andrei says in return to their mother.
Sara gives you another pointed look, as if to say “So you still didn’t talk to him about it.”
You roll your eyes, and she nudges your foot again before dragging you down the hall and into her and Evgeny’s bedroom. 
“For the love of God,” she says. “I know you said you’re not taking my suggestions, but you are going to have to take this one, specifically with the promise that you’ll at least save it until you get back to Raleigh.”
You answer her with a deadpan stare, and she sighs, exasperated, before gesturing to you. 
“You have to seduce him.” She says plainly. “It’s how I did it with Evgeny, and it’s how you’re going to have to do it with Andrei instead of tiptoeing around.”
You’re slightly dumbfounded, so all you can manage is a weak “What?”
“Remember when I told you to rip the bandaid off?” She asks, and you nod. She waves a hand around, “Well, that’s what I meant by that. Seduce him. Rip the bandaid off.”
“Seduce him…” You say, and it sounds more like a question than a statement.
Sara grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you a bit. “You know he loves you, you know he thinks you’re hot. Use it.”
Sara doesn’t know how you and Andrei met, no one does except Lottie, Oli, Mason, Eli, and you and Andrei. She has no idea about your past.
Which means she has no idea that if there is anything you know how to do, it’s seduce Andrei.
~
You try your best to clear your mind, focusing on exfoliating your skin as you shower and the things you’re planning on doing once this shower is done.
It had been a week since you’d returned from visiting with Sara and Evgeny, and this morning, you’d gone to see your OBGYN doctor to discuss…well, a possible game plan.
You agreed that after you finished this round of birth control pills and had your period, you and Andrei would probably start trying.
And well, after you spoke to Andrei about all of this, of course. 
But Sara was right, seduction might have to come first. You were too out of sorts to wait any longer.
He had been gone this morning when you went to your appointment, having to be at the practice rink to watch the team’s morning skate, and when you had returned home after running some errands, he’d been in his office for a string of phone calls, which he said he’d be in and out of till about two this afternoon.
It was about noon, then. So you’d gone on a run, had a little pep talk with yourself to prepare for the impending conversation, and strategized.
The pep talk you had was simple - if during said conversation, Andrei voiced that he didn’t want kids, that was that. You would not be forcing him into anything he didn’t want or trying to convince him, and the two of you would likely talk things out from there.
If he did want kids, perfect, you could talk about that, but, you could also give him a bit of extra motivation.
Which brought you to the seduction strategy you’d developed so carefully on the way back from your run.
It was about one in the afternoon when you got back, so you threw together a quick lunch for you and Andrei to have - once he was done with his phone calls and you - and it was about one thirty when you hopped into the shower.
You’d gone for a wax right after your doctor’s appointment, as part of the errands you ran, along with a mani pedi, but a little extra gentle exfoliation on the legs never hurt anyone.
Once you finished in the shower, you toweled off and applied the vanilla lotion Andrei loved the most on you, before slipping on one of your favorite sundresses. It was also one Andrei liked on you, particularly because it was just the right side of see through. 
Hence, why it was a key part to your strategy.
It might be devious, and it’s definitely playing dirty, but you need a little ammunition on your side, if not for the sake of a small confidence boost to get you through the conversation.
You did this for a living, for a time. You did this specifically for Andrei before, it shouldn’t be too hard to do it for him again. Sure, the way that you seduced him now looked different, the way that you were together now had changed drastically, but Sara was right. At the very least, Andrei loved you, and he never failed to remind you how attractive you were to him.
So hopefully, this worked.
You checked the time on the clock on your nightstand - one fifty five. A quick glance in the mirror assured you this was the best option outfit wise, and your nerves reminded you that you’d both probably need a little bit of liquid courage for this next bit. Heading back out to the kitchen, you make yourself a quick margarita and pour Andrei a shot of his favorite whisky. 
If there was anything you knew about your husband, sometimes he just needed a little something to take the edge off before he could plow forward with whatever it was he needed to do. He was bound to be nervous once you brought up the idea of having a baby, especially if you were going to be playing just a little bit dirty about it. 
You grabbed both glasses and headed back down the hall to Andrei’s office. Just as you crossed the threshold, he was bidding whoever was on the other line goodbye, and you took a deep breath to steel yourself.
Andrei is your husband. You love each other. You reminded yourself. He is your husband. You can get through anything together.
Andrei smiles when you hand him his glass, his reading glasses perched on his nose making him look both hot, authoritative, and innocent all at once. “Now how did you know I needed this, moya zhena?”
You shrug, playing innocent. “A lucky guess.”
You both toast, clinking your glasses before each taking a sip of your respective drinks. You try to hide your smile behind your glass as you do, but you should’ve known better.
Andrei’s almost always looking at you, so nothing ever could get past your loving and doting husband.
“What’s that smile doing there?” He teases, and it’s then that he seems to finally take in what you’re wearing.
And that you’re wearing nothing underneath it.
You try another innocent smile, but Andrei raises a brow in suspicion, quirking his finger and summoning you to his side of the desk.
Placing your glass down on the mahogany, you round the desk to his side, obeying when he taps the desk and jumping up, taking a seat but keeping your legs crossed.
You don’t want him distracted.
“Are you about to ask me for something expensive, almaznyy? Because if you are, you’re off to a good start.”
You never actually needed to do anything if it was expensive, including asking him for anything, since you did have your own income, and you both knew that. But still, every now and again you liked to pretend like you did, liked the way it made Andrei nervous and pliant, like he didn’t meet you the way he actually did, like he wasn’t familiar with the concept. 
But that wasn’t what you were going for here.
“Well,” you start, “it’s sort of expensive. An…investment, if you will.”
He frowns slightly. “Don’t tell me Jarvy’s wife actually talked you into wanting to buy that monstrosity of a beach house.”
A surprised laugh bubbles out of you, having almost completely forgotten Tessa’s attempt to expand her real estate portfolio by tempting you with an even bigger sunroom than the one you and Andrei had now.
You shake your head. “No no, I don’t want that house.”
“But you do want a house?” Andrei inquires.
You shake your head, nerves suddenly racing through your veins. It makes your hands shake, so you reach out for him, cupping his jaw with your hand, leaving the other resting in your lap. You thumb over the stubble along his jaw, humming to yourself, trying to gather the right words.
It makes Andrei nervous. “Listen, almaznyy, whatever it is, we-”
“I want this house, Bubby,” you interrupt, wanting to be out with it but also not sure if you were remotely prepared for the rest of his sentence. At the pet name, Andrei’s eyes get brighter, his entire demeanor softening. “I want this house, with you and I in it, and maybe…maybe a little one running around in it, too.”
There. You said it…kind of.
But it was out there now. 
And Andrei…
There’s surprise in his face, definitely, and you’d been expecting that. But there’s also no…opposition. Nothing that says he doesn’t want to have this conversation, nothing that screams disagreement, nothing that says he doesn’t like the idea.
There are nerves there, like yours, but amongst the nerves and surprise is…hope? Something wistful. 
You lean into it, trailing your hand from his face to his arm, then down to the desk where his hand rests beside your legs. You take it, intertwining your fingers, playing with his hand a little.
“Bubby,” you continue. And that time you’re definitely playing dirty, saying one of his favorite pet names like that, like you want something - which you do, no question - and it makes Andrei’s whole body relax. “I want a baby,” you say, this time, plainly, so there’s no question and no doubt. “I want to have a baby with you.” You glance up at him, finding his intense gaze already on you. “What do you think?”
He’s quiet for a moment, and if you didn’t already know your husband, his lack of a response might concern you. But the look on his face tells you that he’s thinking, and so you wait, giving him enough space and time to collect his thoughts.
Finally, he squeezes your hand, a little sigh of relief mixed with a laugh leaving his chest, eyes crinkling at the corners as a brilliant smile takes over his features. He says nothing, just maneuvers you to part your legs so he can haul you off the desk and into his lap. You go to him easily, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face into his neck, breathing him in. One of his arms bands itself across your waist, the other across your back so he can cradle the back of your head in his hands.
“I didn’t know how to ask you.” He says softly into your ear. “I’ve been thinking about it, too. How to ask…how to tell you…”
“Ya tozhe,” you tell him. Me too. “I didn’t know if it was something you wanted.”
“We never talked about it,” he agrees. “And we should have, and I’m sorry we didn’t.”
“Nothing to be sorry for, malysh. We’re talking about it now, aren’t we?” You say, pressing a small kiss to his jaw.
He tightens his grip on you. “Because you were brave enough to do it. You’ve always been the brave one of the two of us, almaznyy.”
“You were the one who brought us together, Andrei.” You remind him, “I couldn’t have done that. Only you could have, and you did.”
“I would do it again.” He swears, leaning back a little to press a kiss to your forehead. 
You pull back a little, puckering your lips, and he laughs, leaning down to kiss you softly, gently, and like he has all the time in the world. You love when he kisses you like this, like he’s afraid you’ll break or disappear into thin air. It makes you feel precious, like the very diamond he continues to call you.
“Bubby,” you murmur between kisses, “how many babies do you want?”
There’s a choked noise that bubbles in his throat, so you pull back, looking at him in concern. He reaches for his scotch, but you bat his hand away, handing him the bottle of water he always keeps on his desk instead.
He takes a couple of grateful swigs, and much to his disappointment, you climb off of him and climb back to your perch on his desk, giving him some room to breathe. 
“I’m sorry,” you say. “Didn’t mean to take you by surprise there.”
Andrei shakes his head, putting the closed water bottle down and reaches for his glass, downing the rest of its contents. When it's empty, you take it back from him, putting it on a far enough corner of his desk before reaching for your glass, taking down the rest of your margarita, then set the empty glass next to Andrei’s. Once those are out of the way, you lean back on your hands, your attention solely on Andrei once more.
He’s got a little glint in his eye as he considers you, letting one of his hands come up to rest on your legs, caressing your skin. “You know me, almaznyy. I’m not picky.” He starts. “I’ll be satisfied with as many babies as you’re willing to give me.”
You smile, pleased with his answer. In reward, you nudge the hand he has on your leg a little, and Andrei beams, gently grabbing your calf so he can part your legs, this time, to take in the sight of your bare pussy.
Carefully, you pull up the hem of your dress and push yourself to the edge of his desk, and Andrei takes your ankles, gently placing one on the armrest of his chair, putting the other over his shoulder. He scoots his chair in closer, your leg sliding down his back a little and allowing his hands to rest on your hips.
“We should…” he starts, swallowing. “We should probably talk about this a little more.”
You smirk. “We are talking, though.”
“In depth,” he clarifies. “Get into specifics, and things.”
But even as he says it, you can see in his face you probably wouldn’t get further than the next five minutes. “We can still talk about it after, too, okay? We’ll sit and have a real conversation about it.”
He blinks, nodding, then glances down at where you know he wants to bury his face.
“If you wanted a baby, almaznyy,” he says, warm breath fanning over your lower abdomen, “you didn’t have to play dirty.”
“Dirty?” You ask, innocent as ever. “What do you mean?”
Andrei narrows his eyes at you. “The first time you walked into this office on a mission, you were dressed just like this.”
“You mean when I used to be your assistant?” You tease, and he pinches your thigh playfully.
“Moya zhena,” he warns. He may be playful, but it seems you’ve pushed a few too many buttons in that area today.
Shame, you think. Maybe I can try again after dinner. 
You roll your eyes playfully, pouting a little. “I was nervous and needed some confidence, alright?”
“You look plenty confident to me,” he reassures you with a slight nod, then he’s bunching up the fabric of your dress and pressing against your stomach, his nice way of saying ‘lay back moya zhena, let me take care of you.’
The first swipe of his tongue in your folds takes you by surprise, a pleasant squeal leaving your lips and echoing around his office. His second taste of you is slower, his tongue laying flat against you and dragging from your entrance to your clit, his lips circling around the bud and sucking in a way that elicits a pleasant moan from you.
Andrei’s hands crawl up your body to the neckline of your dress, and you help him a little, slipping the straps off so he can pull the neckline down, cupping your tits in his hands and squeezing.
He’d been particularly fond of the first time you’d had sex in this house together. Had cherished the memory of you in that light pink sundress and on this desk in a similar fashion. It was probably why you’d chosen to approach him this way, he thinks absentmindedly, lips and mouth settling into the familiar pace you love when he’s got his face between your thighs.
Andrei can feel his pants get a little tighter the wetter you get, his chin coated in your slick and nose nudging against your clit as his lips and tongue work you open. He’s so perfectly at peace here, totally content to just lick at you and taste you for hours at a time that he nearly forgets why you’re sprawled out on his desk like this.
You tugging at his hair serves as a gentle reminder that kicks him into gear, and he smiles against your skin, pressing kisses to the junction of your thighs and nipping at you a little.
“Andrei,” you say, breathless. “Potoropites', pozhaluysta.” Hurry up, please.
He shakes his head, gently letting your legs fall to the side as he sits up in his chair, draping his body over yours. “Not this time, almaznyy,” he says, wrapping your arms around his neck before he wraps his own arms around your back, cupping your ass in his hands.
Your brain kicks into gear just in time for you to wrap your legs around his waist, and then he’s lifting you up, pressing filthy open mouth kisses to your neck as he navigates the hallway carefully, taking the measured and familiar steps to your bedroom.
He lays you gently on the mattress, placing you delicately among the pillows before he’s shedding his shirt and pants, kicking his boxer briefs off to the side and then settling back between your legs.
This time, your thighs squeeze at his head when he sucks your pussy into his mouth particularly hard, tongue dipping inside of you, and your fingers fly into his hair, scratching at his scalp in warning.
“Behave, moy muzh.” you hiss through gritted teeth, even if the way you writhe against his face tells him you like it. 
“You started it,” he reminds you, tugging on the dress resting around your middle. You huff, grabbing the bottom and peeling it off, tossing it in the direction of Andrei’s pile of clothes. 
Your eyes sparkle with mischief when you watch the way he takes in the sight of your naked body. No matter how many times the two of you do this, Andrei always looks at you the same way.
Like he’s in love, like it’s the first time, like for all he wants to take you apart, the way he’ll put you back together will be well worth it, and if it isn’t, he’ll work for it until it is.
“Pridi ko mne, lyubov' moya,” you beckon him. Come to me, my love.
His bottom lip drags against your clit as he rises from his position, tongue darting out to lick at your arousal still coating his lips, and the sight alone licks at the flame of arousal sparking low in your belly.
When he crawls up your body to kiss you, he props himself up on his arms, not wanting to rest his full weight on you, his delicate little almaznyy. Normally, you love it, but right now, you need something a little different. 
Your arms wrap around his neck as you seize his mouth in a bruising, desperate kiss, pulling him down to you and taking him by surprise as you manage to flip him onto his back on the way down. You take full advantage of his surprise by making your way down his body to settle between his legs, wrapping your fist around his cock and taking him into your mouth.
Andrei groans, sitting up on his elbows to watch you.
“I don’t know if we’ll be able to make a baby if you keep doing that,” he warns, cock throbbing against your tongue as if to emphasize his point. 
You bat your eyelashes at him, sucking at the head of his cock and using your hands to stroke at him at the same time. He hisses, one of his hands flying to rest in your hair, the other resting behind his head and emphasizing the chiseled muscles of his arms, chest, and abdomen.
Sometimes, you couldn’t believe this man was your husband.
“Almaznyy,” he warns when you take him down your throat, swallowing around him. You’re slow to come off his cock, letting him leave your lips with a dramatic ‘pop.’
“I’m still on birth control,” you tell him. “So we can’t make a baby tonight anyway, probably not for another month, at least.”
His brows furrow, both from your statement and the way you twist your wrist, stroking his cock the way you know he likes. “Then what - ah yebat’ - what are we doing?” He asks, trying to focus on the conversation as you take him back in your throat. You hum a little, and he tugs on the strands of your hair again in warning.
You pull off of him, gently stroking your hand up and down, squeezing as you go. “Practicing, of course.”
He lets his arms fall out beside him, collapsing against the pillows and dragging his hands over his eyes. “Almaznyy,” he huffs, hips stuttering when you squeeze him at the base.
“Hmm?” You hum, ready to take him in your mouth again, but Andrei moves quickly, hauling you up his body and cradling you close as he flips you over again. He positions you among the pillows, placing one under your waist so you’re practically propped up for him. He positions himself so his arms rest in the crook of your knees, your ankles near his head as he folds his body over yours.
He takes his cock in his hand, running the head through your folds. “Practice?” 
You nod, “Practice, for now.” You reach out, pushing his hand out of the way so you can line his cock up with your entrance. “Which is why the desk was perfectly good, and-”
The rest of your words are stolen from you when Andrei bats your hand away gently and slides inside of you, slow but precise, bottoming out and nestling his body close to yours. Your eyes flutter shut when you squeeze around him, and his hands come up, cradling the sides of your face as he murmurs encouraging words to you, staying still until you’ve adjusted to his size.
“Almaznyy,” he calls, and your eyes blink open, glazed over and hazy and you’ve barely even started. “Good?”
You nod, tilting your hips a little, trying to fuck yourself on his cock. He laughs a little, shaking his head. “So damn impatient.” 
He raises his body off of yours a little, angling his hips and setting a steady pace, one that has you whining in protest almost immediately, grabbing at the muscles of his ass and trying to drag him closer.
“I won’t break Andrei-” you start, but he cuts you off with a particularly hard thrust that has your eyes rolling back into your head.
“I don’t care if it’s just practice, almaznyy.” He tells you, “and I don’t care how many times we have to practice. I’m going to make it last, and I’m going to make sure that you remember all the ways I fuck you and make love to you until I put a baby in you.”
You gasp a little, and Andrei smiles to himself, thoroughly pleased. He sits up, placing his hands on the backs of your thighs and settling in to fuck you just the way you like. He fucks you in deep, strong strokes, the head of his cock brushing up against that sensitive spot in your pussy every single time.
It steals your breath from you, and all the telltale signs of an orgasm approaching signal to Andrei like a beacon. The way your breathing catches in your throat, the way you can’t keep your eyes open, how your legs start to shake.
He takes his thumb and rests it on your clit, rubbing in lazy circles until your back arches off the bed, a satisfied cry echoing out of your throat and into the pillows beside your head when you come. Your pussy squeezes down in a way that makes Andrei’s head go dizzy, and then he’s coming with a groan, pushing your hips down onto him as he buries himself to the hilt, his orgasm sudden and a shock to his system.
It takes him a second to catch his breath, and moves your legs off of his shoulders to make it easier to pull out of you and give you reprieve, but a noise of protest leaves your throat, and your ankles lock at the base of his spine. 
He pauses, glancing at you curiously when he notices the look on your face.
Andrei thinks back to before you left for San Jose, the day he took you in the shower, and how upset you’d been when he set you down on your feet.
It clicks in his head, then. What you’d been upset about.
He’s still hard - he’s practically always hard when he’s around you - so he moves his hips, slowly pulling back an inch before pushing back inside. You throw your head back, his name leaving your lips in relief, and he smirks. 
Fucking you in shallow thrusts, thumb circling your clit, Andrei watches in fascination as he pushes his come back inside of you with his cock, watches the way your pretty face twists in pleasure, and hums satisfactorily to himself. 
“Is this what you’ve been needing, moya zhena?” He asks, eyes on yours the whole time. “How long have you wanted this?”
You can barely answer him, your head thrown back against the pillows, eyes squeezed shut, brows furrowed, back still arched and pushing those beautiful tits of yours up. Andrei takes them in his hands, massaging them, and you keen, pushing into his hands and pussy trying to retreat from his cock with nowhere to go.
The sensation feels different for him. He’s hypersensitive now, all too away of the slick slide of his cock, of your mixed come leaking out of you before he pushes back in, feels heat begin to prick at his skin when your pussy continues to flutter and squeeze, like it’s trying to keep him inside of you. With every brush of his finger over your nipples, your pussy squeezes and you try to pull off of him, but in the next breath you’re winding your hips, pushing back down until he’s buried to the hilt.
Andrei pushes your legs up again before he rests his weight on you gently, his shoulders under your knees, burying his face in your neck and placing his hands under your ass, cradling you closer to him as he starts to fuck you in deeper strokes, drowning in the pleased little noises leaving your lips.
“Ty chuvstvuyesh' sebya tak khorosho, dorogaya,” he murmurs against your neck. You feel so good, darling. 
“Andrei,” you finally manage to breathe out, and relief floods through his veins. There were times when you two made love that you got so lost in the pleasure that you couldn’t speak to him, and it worried Andrei to no end. But you always came back to him, always called for him, and the same calm washes over his body, a shiver running up his spine.
Your arms come up, wrapping around his neck and arching your back, giving him more access to you. Andrei hums, pleased, sucking a bruise into your skin while his cock starts to throb from where he’s fucking you, can feel a second orgasm creeping up when he bites down gently, raking his teeth over the sensitive skin and you start to squeeze and clench around him.
“Gonna come again, almaznyy?” He asks, nosing along your jaw. “Want me to come again, too?”
You nod, turning your head and Andrei meets you, slotting your lips together and swallowing your moans down when you shake gently beneath him, back arching and pushing your body closer to his. His eyes squeeze shut, electricity zipping up his spine when your orgasm tips him over the edge and he’s spilling into you again, groaning against your jaw.
His arms come out from under you and he gently eases your legs back down against the bed, massaging the muscles as he does. Instead of resting them against the bed though, you wrap your legs around his waist, locking your ankles at his lower back, and Andrei laughs. 
Gently, he rolls you both until he’s laying underneath you instead, careful to keep himself nestled inside of you, and he smiles to himself when you do a half cat-like stretch before sprawling across his chest. 
A pleased little exhale greets his ears after a moment, and his hand comes up, rubbing gentle circles in your back. “Made you lunch,” you tell him, voice hoarse. “‘S in the kitchen.”
“Spasibo, almaznyy.” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We should go eat it then, it’s probably cold by now.”
“It’s the chicken caesar salad wraps you like.” You say, lips dragging across his chest as you speak. “And I made strawberry lemonade this morning, should be ready by now.”
He nods, tapping your flank gently. “We should get up, malyshka. Get cleaned up.”
You nod, but you’ve got that look in your eye like before, like you’re disappointed as you carefully lift yourself off of him and roll onto the mattress beside him. Andrei rolls onto his side, cradling your face in his hands. “What’s wrong, moya zhena?” 
You shake your head, a small smile gracing your lips. “Nothing’s wrong, just…excited, is all.”
“Excited?”
“To start a family with you,” you clarify. 
“Then why do you look so sad?” He wonders, thumbing at the pout in your bottom lip.
You laugh, nose scrunching a little before cuddling into him. “It’s silly - I just wanted to start now.”
“It’s only a month, right?” He asks. You nod, nose rubbing at his pec, and he smiles to himself. “That’s good - plenty of time for us to practice, then? Wanna make sure we get it right on the first try.”
You snort. “Perfektsionist.” Perfectionist.
“Only the best for you, moya zhena.” Andrei says, teasing. Underneath it though, you both know that he’s serious. Because if anything, even as he rises from the bed and lifts you in his arms, carrying you into the bathroom, you know he never does anything half assed. 
Now that you’re both on the same page, he’s going to do everything he can to ensure you’re well looked after from beginning to end, and when your little baby eventually comes, he’s going to work twice as hard to make sure the both of you are taken care of, and that you’ll want for nothing.
You, his almaznyy, and your future child, his malen'kaya rubin. His little ruby.
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lifeofpriya · 2 months ago
Text
So Long, London - Jack Draper
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[gif credit goes to @pyotrkochetkov]
a/n: this fic was heavily inspired by @pyotrkochetkov's post a few days ago about a jack angst fic idea she wanted someone to write 🤭 this is probably the longest fic i've ever written, so sit down, grab a drink and some snacks, and buckle down for the ride, y'all!
summary: what once was a vibrant relationship begins to fade, leaving both of you to drift apart and question your future together...
You woke up to the soft patter of rain outside the window, the sound barely audible over the steady hum of the city below. Stretching, you felt the stiffness in your body from the long hours spent at the office, the tension that had become a second skin to you. Your apartment in the heart of London was a sanctuary from the outside world, a place where you could shed the mask of the day and just be.
Jack's side of the bed was empty, the sheets cold to the touch. You knew his schedule by heart now: early morning training sessions, a quick breakfast, and then off to the courts. You had met him at a charity event a few months ago, and it had been love at first serve. His hazel eyes had pierced through the bustle of the crowd, his smile a warm embrace even in the chilly London air. He was everything you had ever wanted: successful, charming, and attentive.
But lately, something had changed. The texts grew shorter, and the phone calls less frequent. His dedication to tennis seemed to have swallowed him whole, leaving you with the crumbs of his attention. You tried not to let it show and pretended everything was fine, but the cracks in your relationship had started to widen like a fissure in a frozen lake. The apartment that once echoed with laughter and shared dreams now felt more like a museum of memories, each room a silent exhibit of what used to be.
As his career was reaching new heights, your world was slowly shrinking. The thrill of watching him play had become a distant memory, replaced by the cold reality of his absence. His victories no longer filled you with joy, but instead, a sinking feeling of loneliness. You had become an afterthought in his life, a box to check off his to-do list. You missed the way his eyes used to light up when you talked about your day, the gentle way his hand would brush against yours, the way his laughter could fill a room.
The effort you put into maintaining the façade of happiness grew tiresome, like a dance you had learned by heart but no longer enjoyed performing. You'd stay up late into the night, scrolling through social media, watching as his life played out in highlight reels and sponsored posts. The more successful he became, the more invisible you felt. You tried talking to him, but he'd always dismiss it as work stress, promising things would get better once the season was over. Yet, the seasons changed, and so did nothing else.
One evening, you decided to surprise him at his match. The stadium was packed, the air thick with anticipation as he took to the court. You watched him from the stands, his muscles flexing with each powerful serve, his eyes focused solely on the prize. He didn't see you there, not even when you cheered louder than anyone else. After his victory, you waited for him by the exit, clutching the bouquet of flowers you had bought. He walked by, surrounded by an entourage of fans and colleagues, and for a moment, his eyes met yours. But they didn't linger. They slid away as if you were just another face in the crowd.
The ache in your chest grew sharper with each passing day. You found yourself questioning every little thing: every unanswered text, every late-night training session, every time he chose the courts over you. The silence between you had become deafening, a void that swallowed up the love that once thrived. You knew you couldn't go on like this, living in the shadow of his career, but you were afraid to let go. The thought of ending it all was like contemplating the destruction of your own heart.
The rain had stopped, but the gray sky remained a gloomy backdrop to your mood. You decided to take a walk, hoping the fresh air would clear your thoughts. The cobblestone streets were slick under your shoes, and the scent of wet earth and the distant waft of a bakery mingled in the damp air. Each step took you further from the apartment, away from the reminders of the life you had built together, and closer to the realization that it was all falling apart.
As you strolled through the quiet, tree-lined streets, you passed by a small café. Through the steamy window, you saw a couple holding hands over a cup of coffee, their smiles a stark contrast to the sadness you felt. You thought about the times you and Jack had sat in places like this, sipping hot drinks and sharing your hopes and fears. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Your eyes stung with unshed tears, and you quickened your pace, not wanting to be caught in a moment of weakness.
You found yourself in the park, the same one where you had shared your first kiss. The leaves were turning gold, a poignant reminder of the autumn of your relationship. You sat on a bench, watching as children played nearby, their laughter a bittersweet symphony that taunted the silence in your soul.
You had enough. You knew you deserved better, more than the fleeting moments of affection and the empty promises of quality time. So, you gathered your courage and decided to confront Jack. You waited for him to come home, your heart racing with every tick of the clock. When he finally walked through the door, sweat-soaked and exhausted, you couldn't hide the sadness in your eyes anymore.
"Jack, we need to talk," you said, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside.
He looked up from his gym bag, surprise etched on his weary face. "What's up?"
You took a deep breath, the words you had rehearsed so many times now poised on the edge of your tongue. "This isn't working anymore, is it?"
Jack paused, his hand hovering over the doorknob as he processed your words. The weight of the unspoken hung heavily in the air, a silent testament to the distance that had grown between you. He sighed, a heavy sound that seemed to carry the weight of the world, and dropped his bag to the floor. "What do you mean?"
You could see the exhaustion in his eyes, the lines around his mouth that had deepened since you last had a real conversation. But there was something else, too. A flicker of guilt that confirmed what you already knew. "I mean," you began, your voice wavering slightly, "that we're drifting apart. That your tennis is consuming everything, and I'm just… I'm just here, waiting for you to come up for air."
Jack leaned against the door, his posture deflating as he took in your words. He rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he had when he was stressed or confused. "I know I've been busy," he started, his voice low and sincere, "but I thought we were okay."
You felt a knot in your throat, the years of pent-up frustration and love tangled together in a mess that was difficult to unravel. "Okay isn't enough," you said firmly. "I need more than okay."
Jack's eyes searched yours, looking for a hint of the spark that had brought you two together. He took a step closer, his hands reaching out tentatively, as if to bridge the gap that had grown between you. "What do you want from me?"
You hesitated, the question echoing in your mind. What did you want? You wanted the love you had felt in those early days, the excitement of discovery, and the comfort of shared experiences. But that seemed like a distant dream now. "I want you," you said finally, the words coming out more as a plea than a demand. "I want the person I fell in love with."
Jack's expression softened, and for a moment, you thought he might understand. But then his eyes clouded over again, and he took a step back. "You know I can't just quit tennis," he said, his voice a mix of frustration and resentment. "This is my life. This is what I've worked for."
You felt the sting of his words, but you didn't flinch. "I'm not asking you to quit," you replied calmly. I'm just asking for balance—for us to be a priority again."
Jack looked at you, his eyes searching yours for understanding. He ran a hand through his damp hair, leaving it in disarray. "You know how much this means to me," he said, his voice strained. "But I'll try."
You nodded, hope flickering in your chest. Maybe there was a chance, a glimmer of the love you had lost. But the doubt remained, a persistent whisper in the back of your mind. The next few days were filled with tentative gestures and half-hearted attempts at connection. He'd stay up later to watch a movie with you, or surprise you with breakfast in bed, but the underlying tension remained. You could feel it, a tightrope you both danced upon, afraid to misstep and send everything plummeting into the abyss.
One evening, Jack came home earlier than expected. He had lost a match, his first in months. The defeat etched on his face was raw, unfiltered. You wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was okay, that you were there for him no matter what. But when he saw you, his eyes darkened, the weight of his failure crushing the fragile peace you had constructed.
"What are you doing here?" he snapped, his voice laced with frustration. "I need to be alone."
You felt the rejection like a punch to the gut, but you remained steadfast. "Jack, it's okay to lose," you said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "It doesn't change who you are."
He shrugged you off, his eyes burning with anger and disappointment. "You don't get it," he said, his voice tight. "This isn't just a game to me. It's everything."
You took a step back, the coldness of his words sending a shiver down your spine. You had never seen this side of him before, the side that was consumed by the sport, the side that didn't have room for you. "I do get it," you said, trying to keep the hurt from your voice. "But you can't let it be everything. You can't let it eat away at us."
Jack didn't respond, instead, he turned away and headed to the shower, the door slamming shut behind him. You stood there, unsure of what to do next. The apartment felt smaller, the air thick with the unspoken. You knew you had to give him space, but the walls seemed to be closing in on you, suffocating you with the weight of his pain and your own fear.
You wandered into the living room, the silence deafening. You picked up a book from the coffee table, trying to find solace in the pages, but the words blurred together, indistinct and unimportant. Your thoughts kept drifting back to the conversation, to the coldness in his eyes when he pushed you away.
The sound of the shower finally stopped, and you could hear Jack moving around in the bedroom. You set the book down and took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come.
When he emerged, his face was scrubbed clean, but the sadness in his eyes remained. He saw you sitting there, and for a moment, the anger was gone, replaced by a look of regret. He sat down next to you, his elbows on his knees, and leaned his head in his hands. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking. "I didn't mean to push you away."
You put the book aside and turned to face him. "Jack, we can't go on like this," you said gently, taking his hand in yours. "I can't keep pretending everything's fine when it's not."
He looked up at you, the regret in his eyes deepening. "I know," he murmured. "I've been so focused on tennis that I've neglected us. I've taken you for granted."
You shook your head, "I can't live my life fueled with empty promises anymore." The words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the chasm that had formed between you.
Jack's gaze dropped to the floor, his grip on your hand tightening. "I know I haven't been the best partner," he admitted, his voice a hoarse whisper. "But I want to change. I want to make it work."
You studied his face, searching for the truth in his words. You knew he meant it, but the doubt remained, a stubborn shadow that had taken root in your heart. "I've given you so many chances," you whispered, your voice trembling. "I'm done fighting for a relationship that feels one-sided."
Jack took a deep breath, his eyes meeting yours with a newfound vulnerability. "I know," he said, his voice thick with regret. "And I've let you down. But if you give me one more chance, I'll prove to you that I can change. That we can find that balance."
You felt your heart ache, torn between the love you still had for him and the pain of his neglect. "Jack," you began, your voice barely above a whisper, "I don't know if I can do this anymore."
He looked at you, the reality of your words sinking in. He leaned over and took your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had started to fall. "Please," he begged, "just one more chance. I'll do whatever it takes to make it right."
You stared into his eyes, the green of the leaves outside the window casting a mottled light over his features. The love you had for him was still there, a dull throb that wouldn't go away, no matter how much you wished it would. You wanted to believe him, you really did. But the doubt was a heavy burden that you had been carrying for too long.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, pulling away from his grasp. "But I can't keep doing this." Your voice was shaky, but your resolve was unwavering.
Jack's eyes searched yours, desperation pooling in their depths. "What do you mean?"
You took a deep breath, the words sticking in your throat like a mouthful of dry toast. "I mean, I can't keep holding onto something that isn't working," you said, your voice firm despite the tears threatening to spill over. "I've given you all of me, and I need more than just the leftovers of your time and attention."
Jack's expression fell, the realization of his actions settling on him like a heavy fog. He opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. Instead, he dropped his hands to his sides, his shoulders slumping in defeat. The silence that followed was a physical presence in the room, a thick and heavy blanket that suffocated any semblance of comfort.
You stood up, the tremble in your legs betraying your inner turmoil. "I need some time to think," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. You turned and walked to the bedroom, each step feeling like you were walking away from a piece of yourself. You shut the door gently, leaving him sitting on the couch, alone with his thoughts.
In the bedroom, you leaned against the closed door, your chest heaving with the effort to hold back sobs. You took a moment to compose yourself, to breathe in the air that was now thick with the scent of their cologne, a smell that was once comforting but now a stark reminder of the empty promises and unfulfilled dreams. You looked around the room, at the photos of happy moments together, the trophies that gleamed in the soft light, and the empty space on the nightstand where your picture used to be.
You grabbed your phone and dialed your best friend's number, the one person who knew every detail of your relationship, every high and low. You needed her calm voice, her unwavering support. She picked up on the first ring, and without saying a word, you could feel the empathy radiating through the line. She knew something was wrong.
"He's not changing, is he?" she asked gently.
You took a deep breath, the truth of her words a heavy stone in your chest. "I don't know," you managed to choke out. "I want to believe he will, but I can't ignore the feeling that it's just going to be more of the same."
Your friend's voice was a soothing balm, offering comfort without judgment. "You've done everything you can," she said. "It's time to think about what you need."
You nodded, even though she couldn't see you. You knew she was right. You needed more than just a promise of change. You needed action, a commitment to the relationship that matched the one you had been giving all along. You sat down on the bed, the mattress squeaking under your weight, and took a deep breath. The rain had started again, the droplets tapping a solemn rhythm on the window.
Jack's side of the closet was a testament to his life on the road, a chaotic mess of suitcases and rumpled clothes. You stared at his tennis shoes, the ones he had worn when you had watched him win his first major tournament. They were pristine white, now scuffed and worn from his relentless pursuit of greatness. You felt a pang of sadness, wondering if his dedication to the sport had cost him more than just your happiness.
With a heavy heart, you began to pack a bag of your own. You didn't know where you'd go, but you knew you couldn't stay here anymore. Each item you placed in the bag was a symbol of your own strength, a declaration of independence from the shadow of his success. The sound of your zipper closing was the final act in a play that had gone on for too long.
You walked out to the living room, your bag slung over your shoulder, and found Jack still sitting on the couch. He looked up at you, his eyes red and puffy, the weight of his own regret etched into his features. "I'm sorry," he murmured again, but the words felt hollow in the face of your resolve. "I guess this is it," he said, standing up.
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. The words you wanted to say, the anger and hurt you had bottled up for so long, threatened to spill out in a flood of accusations and recriminations. But you knew that wouldn't change anything. You had made your decision, and it was time to move on. "I need to go," you said, your voice calm despite the storm raging within.
Jack stepped aside, allowing you to pass. As you moved through the apartment, each room whispered memories that now felt like ghosts. You paused in the kitchen, the sight of the mug tree bringing a lump to your throat. So many mornings you had made him tea, hoping the simple act would be enough to keep him grounded, to remind him of what he had waiting for him at home. It was a futile hope, one that had been shattered by the relentless pull of the courts.
You took one last look around, the walls now echoing with the silence of your unanswered calls and the emptiness of his promises. The door clicked shut behind you, a finality that resonated through your bones. The cool air outside was a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere you had left behind.
You wandered the streets, the rain now a gentle patter that matched the rhythm of your thoughts. Each step took you further from the apartment, from the life you had built with him, and closer to the unknown. The city lights reflected off the wet pavement, casting a shimmering glow that seemed to mock the darkness of your heart.
You called a taxi, the neon lights of the car blinking through the mist like a beacon of escape. The driver looked at you in the rearview mirror, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern. You gave him the address of a hotel you had found online, one that offered a quiet refuge from the tumultuous storm of your emotions.
As the city passed by in a blur of lights and rain-slicked streets, you stared out the window, the cold glass pressing against your forehead. Your thoughts swirled like the wind outside, a chaotic mix of doubt, anger, and sorrow. You wondered if you were making a mistake, if you were giving up too quickly. But the weight of the decision settled in your stomach like a lead ball, a sure sign that you were doing what needed to be done.
When the taxi pulled up to the hotel, the doorman rushed to open the door, offering you a sympathetic smile as you stepped out into the damp night. The lobby was a welcome respite from the storm, warm and quiet, with a faint scent of vanilla and fresh flowers. The receptionist offered her condolences for the weather as she checked you in, her eyes flicking to the bag slung over your shoulder, but she said nothing about the tears that had streaked your cheeks.
You took the elevator to the top floor, the ride up feeling like an ascension to a new chapter of your life. The room was small but cozy, with a plush bed that beckoned you to rest and a view of the city that reminded you of the vast expanse of possibilities ahead. You set your bag down, and for a moment, you just stood there, listening to the rain tap against the window, feeling the weight of the silence that was now yours alone.
You called your friend back, her voice a lifeline in the sea of your doubt. She talked you through the pain, her words of encouragement and understanding a salve to your bruised heart. She reminded you of who you were before Jack, of the dreams you had put on hold, of the life that was still waiting for you outside the shadow of his ambition.
You took a long, hot shower, letting the water wash away the tension and the tears. You felt the warmth seep into your skin, rekindling a spark of life that had been all but snuffed out. When you emerged, you wrapped yourself in a soft towel and looked in the mirror. The person staring back at you was tired but determined.
You pulled on a pair of comfortable pajamas and climbed into the bed, feeling the cool sheets against your flushed skin. You lay there for a while, listening to the rain outside, feeling the sadness wash over you in waves. But as the night grew darker, something shifted. The weight of your decision began to feel lighter, replaced by a quiet sense of relief. You had stood up for yourself, and that was something to be proud of.
As you drifted off to sleep, your mind played back moments of your relationship—the laughter, the tears, the passion. You felt the ache of loss, but also the flicker of hope. Maybe this was the end, or perhaps it was just the end of a chapter. Either way, you knew you had made the right choice.
The next morning, you woke up to the sound of the city waking up. The rain had stopped, and the sun peeked through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. You felt a strange mix of emotions—sadness, relief, fear, and a hint of excitement for the unknown. You knew you couldn't stay in this hotel forever, but for now, it was your sanctuary, a place to heal and decide your next steps.
You ordered room service, and the comforting taste of tea and toast was a gentle reminder of the life you once knew. You spent the day in a daze, watching movies and scrolling through social media, trying to distract yourself from the reality of your situation. But every notification, every article about Jack's latest match, brought the pain back in full force.
In the quiet solitude of the hotel room, you allowed yourself to grieve the relationship you had lost. The highs and the lows, the love and the neglect, all culminating in this moment of solitude. You cried until there were no more tears left, until your eyes were puffy and your throat raw.
As the days passed, you began to feel the tentative beginnings of strength. Each time you checked your phone and saw a message from Jack, you resisted the urge to respond immediately. Instead, you took a deep breath and waited, letting the words sit unanswered, giving yourself the space to think and feel.
You started to explore the city again, the same streets that had once been the backdrop to your shared life now a canvas for new adventures. You visited museums and parks, wandered through markets and cafes, rediscovering the joy of doing things on your own terms. The world didn't revolve around his schedule anymore, and the freedom was both exhilarating and terrifying.
Meanwhile, Jack's life continued on the tennis tour, but the sting of your departure remained. He found it difficult to focus, his mind often drifting to the emptiness of the apartment and the echo of your voice. His performances on the court suffered, and the whispers of doubt grew louder in his ears. He knew he had lost more than just a partner in you; he had lost a piece of himself.
"Game, set, match, Alcaraz," the announcer's voice boomed through the stadium, and Jack's shoulders dropped in defeat. His eyes searched the stands, but there was no sign of you. It had been weeks since you had last spoken, and the void in his life was a constant reminder of his failure.
The applause from the crowd seemed muted as he made his way to the locker room, the weight of his loss heavy on his shoulders. His coach tried to offer words of encouragement, but Jack knew that nothing could fill the emptiness that your absence had left. He had pushed you away with his obsession, and now he faced the stark reality of a life without your warmth and support.
In the quiet of his hotel room, Jack stared at his phone, the screen lighting up with messages from his agent, his coach, and his friends. But the one message he craved was from you. He knew he had to make a change, to prove to you and himself that he could balance his career with the love you both deserved.
The weeks passed in a blur of matches and press conferences, but Jack couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that had settled in his chest. His game suffered, his focus scattered. His entourage noticed the shift, their worried glances and hushed conversations a constant reminder of his personal turmoil.
One evening, after a particularly crushing loss, Jack found himself unable to face the empty hotel suite. Instead, he wandered the streets, seeking solace in the anonymity of the city.
He ended up at a small, dimly lit pub, the kind of place where the locals gathered to drown their sorrows and share their stories. The warm, woody scent of beer and the comforting murmur of conversation wrapped around him like a blanket. He took a seat at the bar, the polished wood cool against his palms.
The bartender, a middle-aged woman with a kind face and a knowing smile, approached him. "Rough day?" she asked, her voice a gentle rumble.
Jack nodded, his eyes downcast. "Rough few weeks, actually," he murmured, the weight of his words heavier than the silence that followed.
The bartender leaned closer, a hint of concern in her gaze. "Love troubles?" she ventured.
Jack sighed, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "Something like that," he replied, staring into the amber depths of his whiskey.
The woman nodded, her eyes filled with understanding. "It's tough when you lose someone important, especially when you know you're the one who messed up." She wiped the counter with a cloth that had seen better days. "But you're young, and you're talented. You've got time to make it right."
Jack took a sip of his drink, the burn in his throat mirroring the ache in his heart. "I just don't know if I can," he said, his voice thick with regret. "I've lost so much already."
The bartender's expression softened. "You can't change the past, love," she said, her voice a soothing balm. "But you can learn from it. Sometimes, you have to hit rock bottom before you realize what you truly want."
Jack nodded, the whiskey warming him from the inside out. He knew she was right. The pain of losing you had brought a clarity to his life that he hadn't felt in a long time. Tennis was his love, his passion, but it couldn't be his everything.
The next day, Jack took a deep breath as he walked into the gym, his eyes scanning the familiar space for any signs of change. His coach noticed the determination in his stride and nodded approvingly. They began to work on a new strategy, one that didn't just focus on his serve and volley but also on his mental fortitude. Between sets, Jack's thoughts drifted to you, to the way your eyes would light up when he talked about his matches, the way you'd listen intently and offer insights that often proved invaluable. He missed that connection, the way you understood him in a way no one else did.
As he swiped the sweat from his brow, Jack made a silent vow to become the person you deserved, to find the balance between his love for tennis and his love for you. It wasn't going to be easy, and he knew that he couldn't expect you to come running back with open arms. But he had to try, for both of your sakes.
One day, while he was in line at the coffee shop, Jack heard a familiar laugh. His heart skipped a beat, and he spun around, only to see you with an unfamiliar man, smiling and chatting away. The sight of you with someone else was like a knife to the chest. He quickly averted his gaze, pretending not to notice, but the pain was acute. He realized he hadn't seen you in person since that rainy night you left.
Jack's hand trembled as he took the coffee the barista handed him. He stepped aside, watching you from a distance, feeling like an outsider in a scene that used to be so intimately his. The stranger put his arm around your shoulders, and Jack felt a surge of jealousy that surprised him. He had known you needed more, but seeing it with his own eyes was a different story.
But you didn't miss the way Jack's eyes lingered on you, the desperation in his gaze. You felt a pang of guilt, but you steeled yourself. You had moved on, hadn't you?
You couldn't deny it, your heart skipped a beat when you saw him. You wanted to run into his arms and tell him you'd made a mistake, that you could work it out.
"You still have feelings for him, don't you?" You heard Alex whisper, a sad smile playing on his lips. You nodded, sipping your hot beverage.
"It's hard not to, but…I've moved on," you replied, trying to convince yourself more than anyone else.
"Have you though? Really moved on?" Alex's question lingered in the air, his gaze holding yours as you took another sip of your beverage. You swallowed hard, the warm liquid doing little to soothe the sudden tightness in your throat. "It's okay if you do," he added gently, "but maybe it's time to talk to him."
Jack watched you from across the street, his heart hammering in his chest. He had hoped that with time and distance, the pain would lessen, but seeing you with someone else brought it all rushing back. The months of training, the endless matches, none of it had filled the void you left behind. He knew he needed to make a change, to find a way to balance his love for the game with the love he had for you.
With a newfound resolve, Jack approached you, his sneakers squeaking on the damp pavement. You turned, surprise flickering in your eyes before they clouded over with caution. Alex stepped aside, giving you space. "Can we talk?" Jack asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You nodded, leading the way to a nearby park bench. The rain had stopped, leaving the air fresh and clean, the scent of wet earth and leaves filling the space between you. You sat down, leaving a respectful distance, your eyes avoiding his. "What is there to say?" you began, your voice tight with unshed tears.
Jack took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours. "I've been thinking about us," he said, his voice raw with emotion. "I know I've hurt you, and I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel like you weren't a priority."
You remained silent, watching the children playing in the distance, the sound of their laughter a stark contrast to the heaviness of the conversation. "It's more than that, Jack," you said finally, your voice steady. "It's about feeling seen, heard, and valued. It's about being a team, not just having someone to come home to when you're done with your day."
Jack nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "I get it," he said, his voice low and earnest. "I've been so focused on my career, I lost sight of what's truly important. I want to change that. I want to be better for you."
You studied him, looking for the truth in his words. The old Jack, the one who used to make you feel like the center of his world, seemed to be peeking out from behind the tired, burdened exterior. "What does that mean, exactly?" you asked, your voice laced with skepticism.
Jack took a deep breath, bracing himself for the hardest conversation of his life. "It means that I'll make time for us, really make time," he began. "I'll schedule breaks in my training, show up for dinner without my phone, and actually listen when you talk about your day." His voice grew stronger as he spoke, the conviction in his eyes growing brighter. "I'll do whatever it takes to fix this."
You felt a flicker of hope, but it was quickly doused by the memory of his past promises. "Words are easy, Jack," you said, your tone measured. "It's the actions that count."
Jack's expression grew serious, the lines around his eyes deepening as he nodded. "You're right. I know I've said a lot of things I didn't follow through on, but I'm different now." He paused, searching for the right words. "I've missed you. I've missed us. I can't stand the thought of losing you for good."
You bit your lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. "Jack, I want to believe you," you said, your voice wavering. "But I've been here before. How do I know this isn't just another fleeting moment of clarity before you're off to the next match?"
Jack reached out and took your hand, his grip firm but gentle. "Because I'm going to prove it to you," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'm going to show you that you're not just a part of my life, you're the most important part. And if that means taking a step back from tennis, then that's what I'll do."
You searched his eyes, looking for any sign of deceit or doubt. But all you saw was sincerity and pain. "I don't want you to give up your dreams," you whispered. "But I need to know you're willing to make me a part of them."
Jack nodded solemnly. "I understand," he said. "And I'm not asking you to come back right now. I just… I want you to know that I'm willing to make changes. To make us work."
You felt the warmth of his hand, the familiarity of his touch sending a shiver down your spine. You had missed this connection, but the fear of history repeating itself was stronger.
"Jack," you began, your voice shaky, "I want to believe you. I really do. But I've been hurt too many times. I can't just jump back in without knowing it's for real."
Jack's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his thumb stroking the back of your hand in a comforting gesture. "I know," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "And I don't expect you to. I just need you to know that I'm ready to fight for us. To make this right."
You sighed, the weight of your decision pressing down on your chest like a boulder. "Okay," you finally said, your voice barely audible. "Let's take it slow. No promises, just…see where it goes."
Jack's face lit up with hope, a small smile playing on his lips. "I can do that," he said, squeezing your hand. "We'll take it one day at a time."
The days turned into weeks, and Jack kept his promise. He made an effort to be present, to listen, to be there for you without the distraction of his phone or his thoughts of the next match. He started to include you in his training sessions, even asking for your advice on his game. It was a tentative dance, both of you testing the waters, feeling for the old rhythm that had been lost.
You found yourself slowly letting your guard down, the warmth of his attention thawing the icy walls around your heart. But the fear remained, a persistent shadow that followed you, whispering doubt into your ear every time he had to leave for a tournament.
One evening, as you watched him pack his bag, the memories of the past filled the room—his hasty goodbyes, the forgotten anniversaries, the missed phone calls. You took a deep breath, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach. "Jack," you said, your voice wavering, "are you sure this is what you want? That you can handle it?"
Jack looked up from his suitcase, his eyes meeting yours with a fierce determination. "I've never been more sure of anything," he replied, crossing the room to stand in front of you. "I love you, and I'm going to prove it every single day." He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to believe him.
The next few weeks were a whirlwind of improvement. Jack's dedication to the relationship was evident, and his performance on the court reflected the newfound balance in his life. The press took notice, praising his renewed focus and maturity. His wins started piling up, and the whispers of a potential comeback grew louder.
But it wasn't just his game that had changed; it was Jack himself. He had become more thoughtful, more attentive. He'd surprise you with flowers, leave sweet notes around the apartment, and ask about your day with genuine interest. He was the partner you had always wanted him to be, and you felt yourself falling back in love with him.
Yet, the doubt remained, a quiet thief in the night that stole moments of happiness. You would catch yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the day when he'd slip back into his old ways. Each time he picked up his phone to check his schedule, you'd hold your breath, waiting for the apology that usually followed.
But the apologies didn't come. Instead, Jack made plans with you, around you. He talked about the future with a warmth that had been absent for so long, his eyes lighting up when he spoke of trips you could take together, the life you could build outside of tennis. It was as if he had finally realized that there was more to life than the scoreboard.
One rainy afternoon, you found yourself nestled in his arms, watching a movie you'd both seen a hundred times before. His fingers traced idle patterns on your skin, and you felt a sense of peace that had been elusive for months. As the credits rolled, Jack leaned in and kissed you softly, his eyes searching yours for reassurance.
"I'm going to miss you," you whispered, as the reality of his upcoming tournament loomed.
Jack pulled you closer, his arms a warm cocoon. "I'll miss you too," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "But I promise, I'll make it up to you when I get back."
The days leading up to the tournament were filled with sweet gestures and stolen moments of intimacy. Jack took you on surprise dates, showered you with affection, and even cooked for you, a rarity in your usually hectic lives. His dedication to making amends was palpable, and you found yourself feeling hopeful for the first time in what felt like an eternity.
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idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 · 11 months ago
Text
and we're taking parking lot risks
Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 & KO / @thirteenisles
Tagging: @smileysvech @pyotrkochetkov @hoesforthecanes @hockeywritingcollection
Relationship: Andrei x Kat
Warning: Smut. Unprotected sex. Daddy kink. Sexual choking
Summary: Andrei deserves a little treat after his first game back.
Word Count: 4k
Comments: Yes, I know this is late and now he’s out AGAIN. But let’s not focus on that and instead focusing on how happy he and Kat were when he came back (the first time). xx
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(gif by Queen Katie @pyotrkochetkov, i couldn't find it in the search and i HAD to use this gif because HE'S FLEXING HIS TITTIES LIKE FUCK DREI)
Kat pulled her hand from Andrei’s to lean against the hood of his lambo and she bit her lip as she gripped his tie and pulled him closer. “You should fuck me here,” she told him and ran her other hand down his chest to palm him through his slacks.
His jaw went slack as his eyes widened. “In the garage?”
She shook her head as she hummed. “No, let’s drive out to the main parking lot and you can fuck me on the hood of your lambo. How does that sound, big boy?”
Andrei raised his brows, but the corner of his lip twitched up as he bit his lip before he cupped her throat and kissed her deeply. He swallowed her moan and pressed himself flush against her. “I have no idea what I did to deserve you,” he said against her lips.
“I ask myself the same thing,” she replied, voice muffled by his lips, and she tried to pull him closer by his tie. “Would it help to know I’m not wearing panties?”
There was nothing gentle about the way Andrei hiked her dress up her hips and pushed her legs open before he groaned loudly. She wasn’t kidding. “Fuck me, kisa,” he groaned.
“I’m trying,” she giggled. “Lots of time to make up for. And lots to celebrate.” Her smile softened as she ran her hand up to cup the back of his neck, “it was really nice to see you on the ice again, Drei.”
He hummed but didn’t pull his eyes from her pussy as he bit his lip. She hadn’t let him go down on her since he cut his chin open, and he wondered if he’d be able to convince her to let him eat her pussy tonight. But Kat tugged at his hair and forced his gaze up as she gave him a stern look. “Don’t even think about it. You got stitches on your chin; we’re not risking an infection.”
Andrei rolled his eyes and mumbled his displeasure in Russian. “Killin’ me, kisa. You know how much I love being right here,” he said and cupped her pussy in his big hand.
She was already wet for him; she had been for most the game thinking about her plan and she moaned softly. “I love it just the same, but you just got back on the ice, baby. I don’t need to be blamed for an infection because someone got cum in their stitches.”
“Would be worth it,” he mumbled and easily pressed two thick fingers into her, and he smirked when she gasped loudly. He curled his fingers up, teasing her g- spot before he pulled his fingers from her and brought them to his lips, licking them clean with a low moan.
His eyes darkened as Kat looked up at him with flushed cheeks. He wrapped his arm around her waist and hauled her to her feet before he opened the passenger door and helped her in, and he practically ran around the car to get into the driver’s seat. The car barely had time to turn on before he put it in gear and started out of the garage.
Kat laughed at his eagerness, but she couldn’t deny the butterflies in her stomach. They were actually doing this. This had to be one of the most risqué́ things they had ever done, and it really turned her on. It really turned both of them on. Andrei was hard in his slacks as he drove out to the parking lot with his lip between his teeth, one hand on the wheel while the other rested high on Kat’s thigh, underneath that gorgeous little mini red dress she wore just for him.
The moment she stepped out in it earlier he had been ready to take her right then and there. All he had to do it push that little skirt up and sink into her, but she wouldn’t let him. She told him it would be worth the wait, but he didn’t realize what she had up her sleeve.
They pulled out of the tunnel and Andrei circled around and found a parking spot at the back of a nearly empty lot. It felt like it took forever but it was dark and
perfect. As soon as he turned the car off, Kat leaned over the center console and pulled him in for a kiss by his tie.
He moaned against her lips and easily hauled her onto his lap before he pushed her dress up so she could straddle him comfortably. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her body against his, grinding down on his cock. Ever since the doctor gave them the okay, she had been utterly insatiable. She wanted Andrei constantly. She needed Andrei constantly. Not that he was complaining in the slightest.
He kneaded her ass and moaned loudly against her lips. He was half tempted to just undo his slacks and let her ride him just like that, but he stopped himself. He wanted to take her on the hood. Ever since he got the lambo he wanted to fuck her on the hood, but he hadn’t had the chance until now.
“Kat, baby,” he whispered against her lips, his accent thick. She ran her hands up his chest as she kissed his neck and hummed and response.
“I need you. I know you can feel how bad I need you,” he groaned under her touch and fisted her hair gently to pull her back so he could look at her. His eyes were dark, and cheeks flushed, and she nipped at his bottom lip.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “I want you to fuck me on the hood of your car.”
He groaned loudly and let her open the door. She nearly fell out of the car as she stumbled on her heels, but Andrei caught her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and steadied her as he guided her to hood of the car.
She leaned back against the hood and pulled him flush against her by his tie before she kissed him deeply. Andrei easily took control of the kiss as he reached between them to undo his pants and he groaned in relief before he untucked his shirt and pressed himself flush against her.
“Fuck me,” Kat whispered and nipped at his lower lip. “Take what’s yours.”
Andrei groaned as he nodded before he pulled at his tie and let it drop to the ground and quickly undid his shirt. He kissed her deeply and gripped her hips to hoist her up onto the hood. He only broke the kiss to pull her legs around his waist before he pushed his boxers down to free his cock.
“I don’t have a condom,” he confessed as he ran the tip of his cock over her slit, his eyes locked on her pussy before he lined himself up with her entrance.
“Then pull out.” She replied through clenched teeth, “come on, Drei. We don’t have all night.”
He didn’t need to be told twice and pressed into her, groaning as loud as Kat moaned. She felt so fucking good around him, and he knew she could take it so he didn’t bother to take his time and he bottomed out quickly before he kissed her roughly.
She moaned against his lips and locked her ankles together, pulling him closer. He stumbled over and braced himself on the car hood, one hand on either side of her head as he rocked into her, only able to pull out halfway with how tight she held onto him.
“Drei. Fuck, Drei,” she moaned. The only thing she could focus on was him and the pleasure he gave her.
“You have no idea how fucking hot you are letting me fuck you on the lambo,” he groaned before he nipped at her bottom lip. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“I’d let you fuck me anywhere,” she moaned. “I’m yours, Andrei. All fucking yours.”
“All mine,” he agreed and fucked her harder, trying to get deeper and her eyes rolled back. Between the feeling of him, the coolness of the car and the thrill of maybe getting caught, it was overwhelming in the best way.
“I’m close,” she moaned as she fluttered around him.
“I know,” he breathed. He could feel her fluttering around him, and he took her hands in his and pinned them above her head as he pressed his chest against hers. “I want you to cum for me. I need you to cum for me, kisa.”
That changed the angle enough that he brushed her g-spot and it sent her over the edge. His hips stuttered and he cursed in Russian, but he fucked her through it. She felt so indescribably amazing, and he moaned loudly as his rhythm got sloppy. He was close, too.
He kissed her again, needing to feel as much of her as possible and she tightened her legs around him as she clenched down on him, and it sent him over the edge. He didn’t even bother to try to pull out as he came, pressing his body into hers, pinning her between him and the car as he filled her up.
They stayed like that for a long moment before Kat loosened her grip on him and he released her wrists as they caught their breath before he kissed her again, softer than before. “You’re so fucking perfect,” he said against her lips.
“So are you, Andrei,” she smiled and kissed him again. “I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re doing what you love again.”
“I’m glad I am, too,” he hummed and rolled his hips into hers again, smirking as her breath caught in her throat. “Very happy to be doing you again.”
She giggled before she bit her lip. “Round two?” She suggested with a grin, “bend me over the car this time?”
Andrei’s smirk slipped as his jaw went slack but he nodded. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to drain me, kisa.”
“Maybe I am,” she giggled and pulled the straps of her dress down and smirked when his eyes immediately went to her chest.
His cock twitched inside her as he groaned loudly before he leaned in to kiss down her chest. Her breasts had gotten so big from nursing, and he couldn’t get enough of them. He loved her breasts before but now they were so big and sensitive, and he loved them so much. If he had to keep knocking her up to keep her breasts like this, he absolutely would.
Kat sighed contently and ran her fingers through his hair as she arched into him. He nipped at her soft flesh and shamelessly left little marks in his wake for him to enjoy on her when she nursed later, all little reminders that he was the only one who could make her feel so good; that she belonged to him and only him.
She purposely clenched around him as she tried to encourage him, a little more bossy than normal. “Come on, I know you want to bend me over the hood and fuck me,” she told him.
“I do,” he agreed, but it was almost painful for him to pull out of her when he was already hard again. He bit his lip as he watched the way she clenched around nothing, and he couldn’t help himself.
If Kat got mad at him, well, it would be worth it.
“Come on,” she repeated and whined as she started to turn herself over, but Andrei forced her back onto her back before he got down on his knees. “Andrei—” She started, but her protested died the moment his tongue pressed against her pussy.
It was no secret Andrei knew how to eat pussy, but every circle of his tongue around her clit felt heavenly. Not that focusing on her clit was enough for him. Day and night Andrei dreamt of her taste, and he forced her legs open further, needing more of her. He moaned loudly as he ran his tongue over her slit, absolutely addicted to the taste of her.
Kat moaned loudly as her hand splayed along the hood looking for something, anything, to hold onto, but all she found was the smooth, cool hood of Andrei’s lambo. “Drei,” she moaned and rocked her hips up against his mouth, seeking more, needing more.
He moaned against her and roughly pinned her hips back down against the hood of his car and looked up at her with dark, hungry eyes. She whined when he pulled back, but it was only to spit on her pussy and he chuckled at the way her body shuddered before he dove back in and fucked her with his tongue, moaning at the way she fluttered around his tongue.
He could taste himself on her as his cum started to leak out of her, but that only made him harder. His cum was buried deep inside her and if he was lucky enough, it would give them another baby. That thought alone forced his tongue as deep inside her as he could as he tried to force his cum back inside her.
“Drei,” she moaned again, and her legs tightened around his head. He was rough as he forced them open, and she reached down to grip his hair. “Yes!” She cried, not caring who heard or who saw him make her feel so good.
He looked up at her with dark eyes, loving how blissed out she was. He loved how desperate she was for him, how loudly she moaned as he dug his fingers into her skin, and he surely left bruises along her thighs and hips.
Already sensitive from her first high, Kat moaned loudly and her second high built quickly. Andrei knew it as he felt her flutter around his tongue. He tried to pull her impossibly closer and ran his hand up her body to palm her breast. As soon as he pinched her nipple, it sent her over the edge. She shamelessly rolled her hips against his face, and he moaned loudly as she came. He desperately tried to pull her closer, wanting every drop of their mixed cum as he tried to draw out her high as long as he could.
Slowly, her moans turned to whines and she tugged hard on his hair, which only made him groan loudly against her. She clenched hard around nothing and rolled her hips back against his face. She needed more than his sinful mouth.
But she should have known Andrei wanted more than just one orgasm. One was never enough for Andrei.
Andrei pulled her closer wanting another high from her before he fucked her again. His grip tightened and he laid his arm over her hips to keep her still and his eyes closed as he focused on the taste of her.
It didn’t take much for her to cum again, pinned between him and the hood of his lambo. She gripped his hair as she moaned his name, but his tongue only emphasized her aching emptiness.
Andrei moaned as he drew her high out but as soon as she tugged desperately at his hair, he pulled back, his lips and chin shiny with her cum as he gripped her hips and forced her over, so her chest was pressed against the hood.
The skirt of her dress was hiked up around her hips and Andrei stepped back for a moment to admire the view. She clenched around nothing as she whined but he reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out and snapped a quick picture. When they got home, he’d add it to the secret folder he uses when he’s on the road and away from Kat.
“Quite the view, kisa,” he told her as he put his phone back in his pocket before he smacked her ass. “So fucking perfect.”
She gasped and pushed back against him. “Come on, big boy,” she teased and wiggled her ass. “Fuck me.”
“I will,” he groaned and squeezed her ass before he lined his cock up with her entrance and he slid in easily. She was so much wetter now that she had cum three times and was full of his cum and he loved it. He gripped her hip in one hand and her hair in the other. “You’re a dream come true,” he said, his words slurring together as he moaned.
She didn’t have anything to hold onto so all she could do is moan as Andrei pinned her to the car as he fucked her. “Jesus, fuck, oh my god,” she moaned loudly. She was so sensitive from her first three highs and her fourth was building quickly as he hit her g-spot with every thrust.
“No, not Jesus, just Drei,” he smirked and tightened his grip on her hip, wanting to leave fingerprint bruises on her pretty perfect skin.
“Harder, fuck me harder,” she begged and bit her lip. “Fuck me like you mean it, Daddy.”
He released her hair but only to wrap his hand around her throat, pulling her back against his chest as he fucked her harder, getting impossibly deeper before he bit down on her shoulder. “Keep talking like that and Daddy’s gonna have to put that dirty mouth to work,” he replied, his accent thick with lust.
Her eyes widened as she gasped. She knew she’d get a reaction out of him, but she didn’t expect it to be so good and she clenched hard around him as she came. Andrei’s jaw went slack but he fucked her through it, drawing her high out as much as he could.
“Yeah?” He asked breathlessly. “You like the idea of Daddy fucking your mouth right here where anyone could see?” His accent was thick as he fucked her hard and deep. He was so close himself, but he knew he could get another one out of her first.
Kat could barely get her words out, all of them slurred together. “Yes, yes, yes,” she chanted. The thought of being on her knees, practically naked and in her heels, sucking his cock where anyone could catch them? Yeah, she wanted that. She needed that.
He bit her neck again. “Cum on Daddy’s cock one more time and I’ll let you lick your own cum off my cock.”
“Fuck,” she whined loud enough that anyone a mile away could have heard her. “I’m so close, Daddy.”
He grazed his teeth over her jaw and tugged at her hair. “Cum for me, cum for Daddy, kisa.”
Her eyes rolled back, and her jaw went slack in a silent scream as she came hard, soaking his cock as she squirted, hands grasping desperately at the hood of the car looking for anything to hold onto as she shuddered.
“Fuck,” he moaned and rested more of his weight on her as is eyes closed. “Oh fuck, kisa.” His voice was breathy and the feeling of her cum literally dripping
down his balls sent him over the edge. He moaned loudly and buried his face into her neck as he came hard, filling her up again.
He shuddered above her and he needed a minute to catch his breath before he smoothed her hair back and kissed her jaw. “So good for me,” he praised her.
She couldn’t even talk; she was completely boneless. All she could do was gently grip his wrist and lean into his touch. She spent all night fantasizing about this, but she hadn’t expected it to go as well as it did. She had a plan in mind, but this exceeded it in every way.
He kissed her temple and ran his other hand up and down her side. “So, you don’t want to clean me up, huh?” He teased with a laugh and kissed her temple again as he pulled her closer.
It took her a moment to find her words. “Give me a moment you literally just fucked my brains out,” she replied, her voice breathy.
“Oh, did I?” He asked innocently but his smirk grew, and he squeezed her gently as he held her close.
She gave him a small smile and melted into his touch before she tapped his hand and pushed back against him. She moaned as it pushed his cock deeper inside her before wincing as he pulled out and she immediately clenched at the emptiness. She was shaky as she sunk down to her knees in front of the car and opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out for him.
Andrei’s eyes fluttered. He didn’t know if he had the stamina to go again, especially after his first game back, but seeing her on her knees, all fucked out with her make up smeared, he could feel himself start to harden again. “Fuck me,” he groaned in Russian and guided the tip of his cock to her tongue.
She wrapped her lips around the tip and hallowed her cheeks and she moaned around him as he guided himself further into her mouth. “Such a filthy girl,” he moaned. “Such a slut, letting me bend you over my car and fuck your pussy and now on your knees sucking my cock in an empty parking lot. What would you do if someone caught us, huh? Let them watch or would you shy away?”
She moaned around him and ran her hands up his thighs to grip his ass. She’d let them watch. Nothing would stop her from making him feel good.
He gripped her hair, “yeah, you’re such a little slut you’d let them watch. Let them watch as I pleasure you. No one could fuck you the way I do.” His accent got heavier and thicker as he spoke, every bob of her head pushing him closer. He wasn’t going to last, and she knew that.
Her nails dug into his ass as she moaned around him, tasting a mix of their cum on his cock. He was absolutely right. No one else could ever make her feel this good.
“Kisa, fuck—" He couldn’t even warn her before he came again, and he pulled at her hair as he came down her throat. It wasn’t as much cum given that it was his third orgasm of the night, but it was so intense he had to put his free hand on the edge of the hood to steady himself as his knee threatened to give out.
She completely drained him, but she moaned around him nonetheless and it was only when his moans turned to deep little whimpers that she pulled back to trace her tongue over the head of his cock, sure to get every last drop of his cum.
He said it multiple times, but he honestly didn’t know how he got so lucky to have her. He gently pulled back and then quickly pulled his pants up before he helped her off the ground. He knew the asphalt wasn’t good for her knees and he bent down to brush her knees off, even after she told him she was okay. His eyes were soft as he stood back up before he kissed her slowly. She smiled as she kissed him back before he pulled away to fix her dress.
He’d always look after her. Always.
“Come on, kisa, let’s go home,” he smiled softly, and she hummed as she leaned into him and let him guide her to the passenger door, which he of course opened for her.
After he closed her door, he chased his tie down which had blown over a few parking spots before he came around and got into the driver’s side. Kat immediately tried to lean into him and rest her head on his shoulder and he kissed her temple before he reached behind them to grab the blanket he kept in the back just for her.
“Here baby,” he whispered and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.
She smiled and leaned up to kiss him. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I know it’s late, but could we maybe take a bath after checking up on the twins when we get home?”
Andrei’s smile softened as he nodded. “Nothing is ever too late for you, my Katarina,” he whispered and kissed her again.
Kat’s smile grew and she ran her hand up his strong thigh. “Then let’s go home.”
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comphy-and-cozy · 1 year ago
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GASLIGHT! what could this possibly be about…. 😏 (stream gaslight by INJI) - @pyotrkochetkov
YOU ALREADY KNOW BABIEEEEE (here is the song for those of you who haven’t partaken in the toxic slaylist)
I think I’ve maybe already shared a few snippets so I made a lil moodboard for you instead 😏
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senditcolton · 3 months ago
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andrei svechnikov x "bed chem"
who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent? like maybe it's all in my head but i bet we'd have really good bed chem
back again with yet another Sabrina Carpenter inspired Andrei Svechnikov moodboard anyway, tagging the babes @smileysvech @pyotrkochetkov @thewintersoldierdisaster @comphy-and-cozy
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smileysvech · 9 months ago
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for the ask game: 4, 5 and 14 🤧🩷 - @pyotrkochetkov
4. Down Bad - Who is your celebrity crush?
besides the obvious hockey player answers, jacob elordi 😮‍💨
5. So Long, London - What city would you love to visit that you haven’t before?
chicago, only for the bean. definitely not for another tumblr user. especially not for a tumblr user I refer to as my soul sister.
14. The Smallest Man Whi Ever Lived - What songs would you put in your *fuck the patriarchy* playlist?
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I actually had this playlist made since 2021 lmao but just to name a few songs on here:
potential break up song - aly & aj (the explicit version!!!!)
the man - taylor swift
breakfast - dove cameron
kissing other people - lennon stella
slay mama - pink angels (iykyk)
greedy - tate mcrae
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thewintersoldierdisaster · 1 year ago
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a/n: this one actively broke my heart while writing it and i hope i did the topic justice. title came from a song on @pyotrkochetkov ‘s barzy playlist and i just knew i had to write something angsty for it. a bunch more happy and smutty long fics and headcanons are coming! seriously, let me know what you thought of this one - much heavier and angstier than i usually write 😬 ignore any inconsistencies, i’m not an expert on this particular medical procedure or professional hockey team travel
word count: 7k
tw: miscarriage, subsequent emotions
summary: on a mini trip to vancouver to watch andrei play, you suffer the worst loss of your life. andrei is your rock throughout the ordeal
Vancouver is a fun city - maybe not as fun as Raleigh or New York, but fun nevertheless - and you’re excited that part of the Canes’ Western road trip fell close to Thanksgiving weekend so you could join in for a bit of it without having to miss too much time at work. Part of your goal this season, your first married to Andrei, is to see him play in every arena. You’ve managed a few of the east coast arenas so far, but this is your first time out west. Nykki joined you too, so it’s like a mini-girls’ trip rolled into a ‘supporting our men’ trip.
The team’s there before you and Nykki get to Vancouver, having already played in Seattle two days before. It’s actually been slightly more than a week since you’ve seen Andrei in person and you miss him a lot. You’ve been with him for four years now, so you’re used to the travel and not seeing him for chunks of time, but this week feels extra hard. Luckily, after this little West Coast swing, Andrei will be home for a good chunk of time - the quirks of the NHL schedule are always insane to you.
You and Nykki get dinner before the game, discussing her wedding plans. It’s scheduled for early August, but time is already flying. You’re a bridesmaid, but you’ve been pushing off picking a dress, knowing that it’s not going to fit you by the time the wedding happens. Your fingers curl carefully against your stomach, hidden by the table and the bulk of your sweater, your little secret.
Butterflies roll in your stomach, excitement mingling with nerves, knowing that you’re going to tell Andrei the news after the game tonight. It’s so early in your marriage, and you’re definitely freaking out a little bit, but the idea of a little baby that looks like Andrei is enough to help the excitement win out.
“Martin wants to do Bali for the honeymoon,” Nykki tells you while you find your way to your seats. You bought tickets for the lower bowl, wanting to be in the middle of the crowd and all the excitement. The Canucks fans are already a little rowdy, with warmups halfway over. There’s a few Canes jerseys smattered through the crowd, but it’s certainly an uneven match.
You sip at your overly large Coke, your stomach turning a little. Dinner isn’t sitting right with you, but it’s manageable for now. “Bali’s nice, I mean, so I’ve heard. But what’s the weather like in August?”
Nykki points at you, her other fingers wrapped around her beer can. “That’s what I said! I thought it would be unbearably hot and humid, but apparently it’s gorgeous - 86 and barely any rain,” she grins. “I promised he could be in charge of the honeymoon, so I think we’re going to Bali.”
“Well,” you smirk back, “there are worse places to spend two weeks with your gorgeous NHL player husband, Nyk.”
She laughs and takes a sip of her beer, eyes twinkling. “You have a point there. How about you and Andrei? What are the big summer vacation plans?”
You pause, thinking of an answer because you’re anticipating having a newborn this summer, so a vacation isn’t likely to happen. Andrei’s been floating the idea of a mini European tour - hitting Rome and Paris for a few days each before heading to Russia for a little bit to visit family. But you haven’t really committed to plans since it’s only November and you have plenty of time. “We haven’t really talked about it,” you answer Nykki truthfully. “Drei’s been focused on the season and I’ve been busy with work. He doesn’t like to plan anything before the end of the regular season anyway.”
“Superstition,” Nykki sing-songs, putting her beer in the cup holder as she stands for the anthems. You get to your feet, pulling off your baseball hat and holding it over your heart, humming along with both anthems. You shift your weight from foot to foot, stretching out your lower back a little.
The puck drops and the game starts - Andrei’s almost immediately put in the penalty box, complaining and shouting at the ref the entire time he skates over. His hands fly in the air as he gestures, but his passion isn’t moving the ref at all and he takes his seat in the box, slumping down. You laugh, shaking your head affectionately. He’s a sweetheart off-ice, but on the ice, Andrei is a borderline criminal. He’s leading the team in penalty minutes and you’ve definitely heard plenty about how he doesn’t deserve it.
The game clock ticks down, Andrei’s released from the box and immediately scores on a breakaway. You and Nykki jump from your seats, screaming and cheering with the Canes up one to nothing. The Vancouver fans around you glare and chirp, but you and Nykki just laugh, giving back as good as you get.
It’s pure fun to be supporting the visiting team and you and Nykki thoroughly enjoy yourselves, dancing to the music and gossiping during TV timeouts and slower moments. Nykki gets another beer and you refill your soda, your stomach still acting up. The popcorn Nykki gets is too salty and you end up joining the crowd when they start throwing their own snacks at the refs. It’s a penalty called on the Canucks, which is good news for you, but the crowds enthusiasm is infectious.
The fans of the Canadian teams are definitely a little more intense and vocal with their displeasure with the refs, you’ve noticed. A particularly obscene chant breaks out when Brady dances around one of the Canucks’ defensemen to set up a powerplay goal for Brent Burns.
You and Nykki throw your arms up and cheer, screaming yourselves silly. Your stomach cramps a little and it puts a damper on the celebration and also serves as a reminder that you really need to see a GI doctor to determine if you’re actually lactose intolerant or if you have a gluten allergy. You grimace and sit back down, clenching your stomach a little, which seems to help. The rest of the second period flies by and the boys are up two to one.
The people around you start to shuffle off to get more food or go to the bathroom, now that the second intermission has started. You finish the rest of your soda and shift in your seat. Nykki looks over at you curiously. “You okay? You seem like you’re kind of uncomfortable,” she says, twisting her hair back into a ponytail.
“I’m fine,” you hum. “My back is killing me though. I must’ve tweaked it on the flight over.”
“You want an Advil?” Nykki’s already shaking around her purse and you can hear things rattling around.
“Let me go refill my drink, pee, and then yeah, I’ll take an Advil,” you reply, holding the reusable cup to your chest and getting out of your seat. Nykki pulls her knees to the side and you scoot past her, stopping when she makes a little noise. “What?”
“Babe, I think you need a tampon too,” she whispers, gesturing to the back of your jeans.
Your eyebrows draw together. You’re not getting your period anymore. “Tamp-?” The word catches in your throat and your eyes go wide. Your mind spins as the pieces start clicking into place and, as if to serve as the final kick in the ass sign, your lower stomach twists unpleasantly with a sharp cramp. Tears fill your eyes and you reach down to grab Nykki’s hand. “Um, surprise, I’m pregnant, but maybe see should go to the hospital or an urgent care?”
Half a dozen emotions cross Nykki’s face before it settles on shock, but all you can focus on now is the persistent cramping in your stomach. The cramping that’s been bothering you all day and you ignored, thinking nothing of it. God, you’re a terrible mother already.
“Okay, okay,” Nykki jumps to her feet, squeezing your fingers and dragging you out of the row and up the stairs to the main concourse. Her other hand is gripping her phone tightly and she’s jabbing at it with her thumb. “I’m calling an Uber. The hospital is like a ten minute drive.”
You nod, feeling numb as Nykki drags you along, your feet stumbling to keep up as you dart around the people waiting in lines for the bathroom and for food. How could your whole night - your whole life - have just taken a complete one-eighty in the matter of minutes. The cold Vancouver air hits your face like a slap, shocking some feeling back into your body. You wish it hadn’t.
The cramping is worse, the feeling between your legs - blood - like free bleeding during your period, but worse, so much worse.
Your stomach lurches and you rip your hand from Nykki’s grasp, bending at the waist and vomiting into a bush next to the entrance to the arena. “Oh, it’s going to be okay. Let it out,” Nykki’s voice is soothing and she rubs a hand in between your shoulder blades while your stomach seizes and you vomit again, spitting into the dirt.
Tears streak down your cheeks and your throat burns now. “I want Andrei,” you whisper, heart clenching with grief.
“Let’s get you to the hospital,” Nykki guides you towards the rideshare pick-up area, where a four-door sedan is already waiting. “I’ll get a hold of him somehow, but let’s take care of you first, okay?”
You let her bundle you into the backseat of the car and swallow back your tears, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes hard enough to see starbursts. Forcing yourself to take a deep breath, you try to calm down, you don’t know what’s happening for sure. Even though it feels very much like the end of something, you have to find a little piece of hope to keep yourself sane. The driver catches your eye in the rear view mirror as he pulls out of the arena parking lot, his mouth twisted down in a concerned frown even as his eyes are slightly judgmental. He’s driving you from a hockey game to a hospital - god knows what he’s thinking about you.
Nykki squeezes your knee and smiles gently at you, even as she’s typing on her phone with her other hand. “It’s still intermission, no one’s going to have their phone on them, but I’m trying to see if I can get through to one of the trainers or something. Just stay calm and we’ll figure it out,” she’s no-nonsense and you’re so grateful for her taking control of the situation.
Your lower back complains as the driver hits a pothole and another leak of fluid rushes between your legs. The drive is too long and too short all at once and before you know it, you’re being admitted to the Vancouver General Hospital emergency room and deposited on a bed, a curtain drawn around you. A nurse with warm, sympathetic eyes and a kind smile does your intake, her lips twisting to to side as you’re answering her questions.
“I just found out a few days ago,” you whisper, starting your fingers together. “I haven’t even told my husband.”
“Mrs. Svechnikov,” the nurse pats your arm comfortingly, “we really don’t know anything for sure until we get an ultrasound. Try not to put added stress on your body.”
You don’t even bother correcting her about your last name, the Russian name sounding strange in her Canadian accent. Nykki comes behind the curtain, clutching her phone. “There’s about ten minutes left in the third,” she says. “I can’t get ahold of anyone, but I’ll keep trying.”
“We’re going to get an OB down here and check everything out, okay?” The nurse says kindly, but brusquely, and then disappears back into the main emergency room. You roll your neck so your cheek is resting on your shoulder and a few tears leak out of your eyes.
“You didn’t leave any messages or anything for Andrei, right?” You ask. “I don’t want him to see and freak out.”
Nykki brushes your hair off your forehead and shakes her head. “No, I left a few messages for Martin to call me as soon as he could. I figure I’ll get to Andrei that way. Do you need anything?”
“Just Andrei,” you hiccup a sob, pressing a shaking hand to your mouth. Your other hand hovers over your stomach, afraid to touch it. The bleeding hasn’t stopped, so despite what the nurse said, you know it’s a miscarriage. Your stomach rolls and you press your lips together tightly so you don’t vomit.
“I’ll get him here as fast as I can,” Nykki reassures you. While you wait for the OB, she absently braids your hair back from your face, tying it off in an efficient, utilitarian French braid down your back. She talks as she works, trying to distract you, and you’re grateful for her efforts even if they don’t work. All you can think about is the little life that had been growing in you just a few hours ago. Your heart lurches painfully when you realize Andrei’s going to find out about the pregnancy and the loss all at once.
The OB is a middle-aged Black woman with a slight Canadian accent who introduces herself as Doctor Hayes and she doesn’t sugarcoat the news, which you appreciate. “I’m very sorry, Mrs. Svechnikov,” she sighs, looking very much like she hates this part of her job. “But you are actively miscarrying right now. We’re going to admit you overnight for monitoring and will reevaluate in the morning.”
Your entire body goes cold at her words and you grip Nykki’s hand - you hadn’t let her leave your side, terrified to be alone. A cramp rips through your lower body and you bite your lip hard enough to draw blood. “What-“ your voice is hoarse and you clear your throat, trying again, “what, um, are the next steps?”
Doctor Hayes rests her hands on the guard railing on your bed. “Well, we’ll have you on a hydration IV throughout the night while we monitor the miscarriage. There may be a need for a D and C, to make sure it’s complete and there’s no tissue left behind.” Your face blanches as she talks. “But all of that will depend on what happens tonight.”
“Thank you,” you murmur and she pats your hand gently, sympathetically, as she leaves. You can hear her giving the nurse instructions and you slump back against the pillows, completely drained.
Nykki checks her Apple Watch and grimaces. “It’s Martin. I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Be gentle with Andrei, okay?” You reply, desperately wanting him at your side, but also wanting to protect him from this heartbreak a little longer.
She’s back in a few minutes, after the nurse has started you on an IV. “Martin’s going to bring him over,” she says, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t tell him why you were here, just that you started to not feel well during the second,” she says. “It sounded like Andrei was halfway out the door before Martin could finish his sentence.”
You nod faintly. That sounds like Andrei. “I hope they don’t get slammed by Rod for leaving…” You twist your wedding rings around your finger, the diamonds catching the fluorescent lighting.
“They won’t,” Nykki says firmly. “He’d have to be a real bastard to punish Andrei for coming to the hospital for you. Besides, someone should’ve been available to get Andrei here earlier! It’s ridiculous.”
“Let him have an extra hour of normalcy,” you sigh, shifting on the bed, sore and uncomfortable.
You’re moved into a private room and given a hospital gown that bares your entire back and ass. A giant pad that’s probably as big as a damn puppy pee pad is wedged in between your legs to contain the bleeding and the IV is tugging unpleasantly at your skin. Nykki’s waiting downstairs to bring Andrei directly to you and you hope he’s here soon because now that you’re alone, the reality of the situation is sinking in and your chest is starting to feel tight. You turn your head and try to bury your face in the pillow, but you catch a whiff of the lingering Tom Ford Lost Cherry perfume you’d applied earlier mixed with antiseptic and sterile hospital smell and your brain briefly registers that it’s a shame, because you really love this perfume and now you’ll never be able to wear it again. Your heart thumps painfully in your chest, a reminder that you’re losing more and more of your baby with each passing second.
You hear him before you see him, the pounding of his footsteps echoing through the hallways. He’s running down the hall, that much is clear, and when you look over at the door, you catch the blur of Andrei skipping completely past your room before he doubles back and skids to a stop in the doorway.
He looks terrible - hair still damp with sweat, the red mark across his forehead from his helmet is still prominent, and he looks like he got dressed in the dark - or an extreme hurry - in a pair of basketball shorts and his button down with the buttons done up all wrong. But it’s the look of complete panic in his eyes that scares you the most. Andrei never looks that panicked.
“Solnyshka,” he breathes, his shoulders dropping from around his ears. In three long strides he’s at your side, holding your hand, and you finally feel like you can breathe.
“Hi,” you whisper before bursting into tears.
“Hi,” he replies softly, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. His grip is almost painful, but you welcome it as you hiccup. “What’s going on, solnyshka?”
Insanely, the only words that come out of your mouth are, “your shirt is buttoned wrong.”
Andrei looks surprised, “what?” he asks absently as his gaze flickers down to his shirt. He shakes his head, “I rush. Solnyshka,” his voice is high and nervous, “what is going on? Neci didn’t know anything. Just that you’re here, in hospital.”
“I…Andrei, I’m so sorry,” the words rush out of your mouth on a flood of fresh tears. “I was pregnant and now I’m not. I lost the baby.”
You’re not even sure if Andrei can even understand you, you’re crying so hard. But one glance at his face and the completely shattered expression it wears, and you know he understood you. His fingers tighten around yours and he’s shaking his head, hair falling forward over his forehead.
“What? I don’t - a baby?” He rubs at his forehead with his other hand, eyebrows pinched together in confusion. “When did you - why didn’t -“
He can’t seem to get a full sentence out and it only makes you cry harder, your entire body hurting with the effort. You know what he’s asking though.
“Last week,” you manage. “The day after you left. I was going to tell you tonight, but…” You trail off, shrugging one shoulder.
Andrei’s head hangs, chin to chest, and he makes a little noise in the back of his throat. “I’m so sorry, milaya,” he says, voice hoarse. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
The worst of your tears are drying up and you shake your head. “It’s not…I had Nyk. I hate that you had to find out like this. Baby and then no baby, all at once,” your voice cracks and you trace the little embroidered A.S. on his cuff, barely able to look at him.
Your husband sighs and drops his head so he can rest his forehead against yours. He smells like sweat and fear and Old Spice and your throat clogs with emotion again. “I thought…” he breathes. “I hear hospital and I think the worst. I thought the worst.”
This is the worst, you think. The worst possible thing. But you know what he means, that he thought something even more awful had happened to you, that he was worried he lost you because he didn’t know there was something else to lose.
Andrei’s lips brush against your cheek, soft and delicate, the rasp of his stubble a stark contrast. You sit like that, foreheads touching, for who knows how long. Andrei doesn’t cry, but his chest hitches and you think he might, maybe, when it all sinks in. You’re all cried out and now there’s just bone-deep exhaustion.
“i’m tired,” you murmur, the words getting lost between you.
Andrei nods against your forehead and pulls back, looking like it takes him a huge effort to sit back up. He cups your cheek and his thumb strokes a careful arc over your cheekbone. You lean into the familiar gesture, comforted. “Sleep, okay? I’ll…I have to call Rod. Get my stuff. I’ll take care of everything,” his voice is steady, but his eyes are clouded.
You nod, your eyelids already closing. Andrei gets up and brushes his lips over your forehead, murmuring that he loves you. Once he’s outside the room, you can hear him talking quietly to Nykki and Martin, but your grief and exhaustion pull you under before you can really concentrate on what he’s saying.
Sleep doesn’t last and you’re awake again after a few hours. You blink awake blearily, confused for a second before everything comes rushing back. Andrei’s scrunched up in a chair in the corner, his chin propped up on the palm of his hand, eyes shut. He changed in the time since he left, now dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt. His legs are kicked out in front of him, a pair of white sneakers on his feet. You don’t want to wake him, but when you shift, a sharp pain pierces your side and you gasp loudly before biting down hard on your tongue to muffle the noise. It doesn’t work and Andrei’s eyes fly open, his entire body jerking.
“Hey,” he’s at your side in a second, “what hurts? I call a nurse?” His accent is thick with sleep and worry.
You shake your head, the pain subsiding. “I’m fine.” And you are, the worst of the cramps are gone, leaving just a vague soreness and uncomfortable tightness in your chest and stomach. “You should’ve gone back to the hotel.”
“And leave you?” Andrei looks at you like you’re crazy. He shakes his head. “I got my bag and Nykki brought yours back. Do you want anything?”
“No,” you reach for his hand and lace your fingers together. “I just want to go home.”
He nods, looking exhausted. “Me too. I spoke to Rod, if you’re discharged later today then you come with us on the plane. If not, I stay and come home with you when you’re ready,” his lips quirk up at the corner when you start to protest. “Is decided, solnyshka. I’m not leaving your side.”
“But…” you trail off, all the arguments that you can think of fading when you realize that you don’t want to be separated from Andrei, not right now. “Okay,” you whisper.
“Good,” he chuckles under his breath. “I don’t want to argue with you.”
“No arguments from me,” you reply dryly, rolling your head so your cheek is on the pillow and you can look directly at him. “Why don’t you try and sleep some more? I’m not going anywhere.”
His jaw tightens a bit. “Can’t sleep,” he replies, even though you had just seen him asleep. “If the doctor comes, I want to be awake.”
You nod again, sore and tired, and Andrei just sits with you quietly for a while before you think to ask, “how was the game?”
He snorts. “We won, but who cares?” It’s such an unexpected answer - Andrei’s never not cared about winning a game - and it startles you into silence.
A nurse comes in a few minutes later, saving you from having to find an answer. She introduces herself as Kayla and speaks in a soft, but firm tone. You’re starting to recognize the undercurrent of apology and sympathy in the nurses and doctors’ tones and you’re beginning to hate it. Andrei doesn’t let go of your hand while she checks your vitals and puts another bag of saline on the IV pole. “The OB will be in soon to do another ultrasound and see if you need a D and C,” Kayla says gently. “But everything else looks good. You won’t be staying another night and I would guess that you’ll be out of here by early afternoon at the latest, either way.”
You nod robotically, not really absorbing what she’s saying. By this afternoon, everything will be over and you’ll for sure, 100% not be pregnant anymore. It’s a gut punch, even though you knew this was coming. Andrei asks the nurse a few more questions before she leaves, but you don’t really listen, focusing on a small stain on a ceiling tile. It looks like nothing at all, just a blob of brown, but the more you stare at it, the more your vision unfocuses, the more it starts to look like one of those stereotypical ultrasound blobs.
You don’t even realize that you’re crying again until Andrei wipes the tears from your cheeks. “Try and sleep again,” he murmurs, chewing at the inside of his cheek. “I think you’ll need strength.”
“Can you get me some water?” You ask, running your hands over the braid Nykki had done. It’s so messy and it feels like she fixed it a million years ago, but it was only four or five hours. It feels like another lifetime, sitting in the arena and joking around with her. From halfway through second intermission to a hospital room at 2 a.m. Certainly not how you were picturing the end of your trip to Vancouver.
You think you must fall asleep again because the next thing you know, there’s sun coming through the window and Andrei’s at your side again, his large hand resting on the top of your head, cradling the crown. Unfamiliar doctors and nurses are in the room and they all speak to you and Andrei, but the only words you hear are “incomplete miscarriage” and “quick procedure” before you’re being shuffled off to an operating room. It all happens too fast for you to even be scared and the last thing you remember before the anesthesia is Andrei by your ear, whispering in Russian to you, the spicy scent of his deodorant filling your senses.
Andrei’s there again, when you wake up, eyes looking red and face drawn. You’re barely conscious, but the sigh of relief he exhales permeates the fog. His hand is warm in yours and you manage a weak smile at him. “Hey there handsome,” you croak and he laughs weakly. “Miss me?”
“You…” Andrei coughs, “I love you very much.”
“Love you,” your words slur a bit. “I wanna go home.”
“Soon, solnyshka,” Andrei promises, stroking your hair. “Soon.” He’s still stroking your hair when you fall asleep again.
When you wake up again, the overwhelming sense of emptiness is what you notice first. Then Andrei comes into focus again, his weight of his head resting on your leg, his hand on your hip. You’re not sure if he’s awake or not, but you gently run your fingers through his hair and he looks over at you, shifting.
“Hi,” he murmurs, dark circles under his eyes.
“Hi,” you rasp back, fingers still working through his hair.
“How do you feel?”
“Sore, tired,” you hesitate, “empty.”
“Yeah,” Andrei’s reply is barely an exhale. “Doctor said we can go, once they give you the all-clear.”
You nod, chewing at your lower lip. “Andrei,” you choke his name, the words coming out like broken glass, “we don’t have a baby anymore.”
“I know,” Andrei replies simply, sitting up all the way and leaning forward to gather you into his arms. You go to him easily, moving carefully and ignoring the pull of your protesting muscles, and bury your face against his chest. He’s in the same black t-shirt and he smells stale now, like he needs a shower desperately, but under that he just smells like Andrei, like home, and you cry into his chest, the fabric growing wet under your face. He just holds you, his arms a strong cage around your back, his hands running up and down your back. Everything in your body hurts, but nothing more than your heart.
Throughout the next few hours, when you’re given a clean bill of health, instructions to take it easy and abstain from sex or using a tampon for three weeks, and discharged, Andrei is a rock. He’s right at your side, helping you get dressed in the soft joggers you were using as pajama pants and an oversized hoodie. He laces up your sneakers for you and carries all the bags out to the waiting Uber. You were discharged in time to make the team flight home, but after hearing Andrei on the phone before the doctor came in for your exam, you kind of suspect that he may have pressed Rod to change the travel plans. You can’t even start to think about what he’s done for you, exhaustion seeping to your bones.
No one says anything to you when Andrei ushers you onto the plane, but Neci gives you a small smile and squeezes your hand when you walk past him. You return the smile, feeling awful that Nykki has to fly home on her own. She’s been texting, checking in on you, and you haven’t answered yet, too distracted to deal with even holding your phone. Andrei bundles you into a seat near the back of the plane and wraps his jacket around you.
“Thanks,” you say quietly, resting your head against his shoulder.
“Anything for you, solnyshka,” he presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Try and sleep, long flight. I have the pain pills, if you need, okay?”
You nod against his shoulder and wrap his jacket tighter around your body, tucking your hands up into the sleeves. Andrei rests his palm on your knee and before the plane even takes off, you’re asleep.
It’s a long flight back to Raleigh and you don’t sleep the entire way, but after a solid three hour nap, you wake up feeling better. Andrei’s asleep when you wake up, his head dropped back against the headrest, his mouth open slightly. He finally looks relaxed and peaceful and you’re grateful, so grateful, for him.
Your whole body still hurts, but your legs are starting the cramp up, so you carefully shimmy out of your seat to stretch in the aisle. Brady and Jarvy wave at you from a few rows up and you wave back, wondering what they know, if they know anything. No one really tries to talk to you, so you assume Andrei told them that you had some kind of medical emergency. Legs feeling better, you settle back into your seat, finally pulling out your phone and connecting to the in-flight wifi so you can text Nykki.
She reassures you that none of the other guys know what happened and that if you need anything when you’re back in Raleigh to let her know. You’re blessed to have such a good friend in her and you thank her, thinking that maybe in a few days you’ll see if she’ll bring Gigi over for some puppy cuddles.
Andrei wakes up about and hour before you land and he gulps back half of a water bottle before he even says anything. Then he tips his head close to yours and whispers, “how are you feeling? Any pain?”
“No,” you whisper back, “I’m okay. Just sore. It’s like being drained after a really bad period. I feel better after my nap.”
“Good,” he pushes the half-empty water bottle into your hands. “Drink.”
“Yes, sir,” you tease, the moment of lightness making you feel a little better. You sip at it slowly, starting to get a little nauseous. Andrei wraps his arm around your shoulder and you lean against him, drawing comfort from his solid warmth.
When you land, Andrei guides you off the plane, his palm reassuring against your lower back. It’s easy to let him take the lead and to not think about anything. He’s got both of your bags and you don’t even put up a fuss when he refuses to let you carry even your purse. You’re just too tired.
Andrei’s car is parked fairly close and you don’t have to walk very far. You lower yourself into the front seat of the Lamborghini, muttering, “I hate this car.” Your stomach gives a protest of pain from having to climb into the car.
“I know,” Andrei laughs a little, loosening up. His string of ugly sports cars is a long running topic of conversation. The last one was orange, the one before that a strange green. This one is electric purple and it’s hideous. His terrible taste in car colors is his only red flag. “Next one will be red.”
“Why couldn’t this one have been red?” You ask, breathing deeply to stave off the nausea. You sink back against the seat and Andrei pulls out of the parking spot. He’s driving must slower than usual and is taking extreme care with navigating the roads.
“This one was only 75 made,” he explains again. “It’s a collectors item.”
“It’s still ugly,” you tease, a smile playing at your lips.
He reaches over and takes your hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. “I love you so much, moya solnyshka, and I’m so…proud of your strength.”
Andrei doesn’t look at you when he says it, but his voice gets thick and he swallows roughly. He continues, “it hurts to know there would’ve been a baby in the summer.” So he did the math, you think. “But, this is maybe the wrong thing to say, but I’m glad I didn’t know before.”
It’s not really the right thing to say to you in the moment, but you can’t blame him. You sniff and nod. “I know. I almost wish I hadn’t known either. It was only a week, but I was so attached to…to the idea of our baby.”
“When you’re ready,” Andrei says slowly, turning to look at you while you’re stopped at a red light, “you tell me and I’ll give you a baby. When you’re ready.”
You nod, unable to even think about trying for a baby right now, but Andrei’s words and his earnest expression make your heart melt. You love him so, so much. “When I’m ready,” you repeat, squeezing his fingers.
When you get home, Andrei runs you a shower and joins you after a minute, soaping up your hair and scrubbing down your body gently. You don’t speak while he works and his touch is nothing but chaste. He’s careful around your stomach and between your legs, impossibly gentle with those huge hands of his. You stand under the spray while he gives his own body and hair a quick wash, the heat of the shower starting to make you a little lightheaded. Right before it gets to the point where you think you’re going to have to say something, Andrei flips the water off and reaches out of the stall for a huge, fluffy towel, wrapping you up in it and rubbing his hands up and down your arms to keep you warm. He grabs another towel and wraps it around his waist, gripping your elbow and guiding you back to the bedroom.
You rummage in his drawers for oversized clothes, not wanting anything constrictive on your body. Once you’re comfortable in an old pair of Andrei’s grey sweats and a threadbare Duke t-shirt, you crawl under the covers and curl up on your side. “Join me?” You ask, looking up at Andrei. He nods, silently climbing into bed behind you and gently scooting you closer to him. The warmth of his body is comforting against your back and he wraps his arms loosely under your breasts, avoiding your stomach. Andrei buried his face in your hair and you let a few silent tears leak out of your eyes.
What did you do to deserve this wonderful man?
With Andrei’s arms around you and your heart heavy in your chest, you fall asleep again, but it’s unsatisfying. After a few hours, you need food even though you’re still nauseous. Andrei makes himself a sandwich and warms up a can of chicken soup for you and you eat in bed, a rerun of The Nanny on TV. Andrei doesn’t really get the show - the humor is too specific - but he does like to point out all the outfits that Fran wear and he thinks you can pull off. It’s a nice distraction.
You take the next few days off of work, just to recover, but Andrei isn’t as lucky. You’re mostly fine physically except some lingering soreness, most of your problems are mental. After talking about it on the way home, neither you not Andrei has really brought up the miscarriage.
Two days after the miscarriage, the team is playing at home and Andrei’s right there in the middle of it all. You don’t watch the game, still too raw to watch hockey after what happened in Vancouver, so it’s a little shocking when he comes home with a blackened right eye and a cut across his nose and part of his cheek. “What happened?” You yelp upon seeing him, getting carefully to your feet and reaching up to lightly touch the side of his face.
Andrei grunts. “Distracted, got hit,” he winces when he moves his face.
You feel awful, knowing he was distracted because he was worrying about you. “Luckily it didn’t need stitches,” you say softly. “Can’t have anything ruining that pretty face,” you tease him lightly.
He gives you a tight smile and his gaze flickers down to your stomach, covered in an oversized sweatshirt. You catch his look and brush your thumb over the edge of his jaw. “I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me so much,” you say. “I’m tough. I’m strong.”
“I know,” Andrei sighs, dropping a kiss to your forehead. He hesitates, wanting to say more, and you wait. “At the game,” he says slowly, “Burnsie, Staalsy, they had their kids there. I couldn’t help…I was picturing…”
Oh.
Your heart cracks right over the scabs that had been forming the past two days and fresh pain floods your veins. “Drei…” you’re not even sure what to say to him. You knew he was sad, but you hadn’t really thought about how deep his feelings went.
He smiles sadly at you. “Today, it hit me,” he says, twisting his lips. “We lost a baby.”
“Yeah,” you reply, throat tight. “We did.”
Andrei pulls you close, twisting his hand in the end of your ponytail. “I wasn’t expecting it to hurt like this, when I didn’t even know for very long,” he murmurs and you can feel a few tears drip onto the top of your head. You wrap your arms around his waist tighter.
“I don’t think that matters,” you mumble. “It hurts no matter how long you knew about it.”
You can feel Andrei’s head turn, his cheek pressing against the top of your head. You just stand there in his arms, holding tightly to the only other person that’s feeling the same pain as you. The longer Andrei holds you, the more you feel your fragile heart mending itself, the steady beat of his heart a constant under your cheek.
After that, things slowly start getting back to normal. You’re physically healed and cleared to resume normal activities. Andrei’s not so distracted during games. You can go hours, days without thinking about the baby that’s gone.
Andrei mentions it, off-hand, about a month after you get home from Vancouver, after he’s back from another quick road trip. “We could’ve been telling our families about the baby at Christmas,” he’s clearly been thinking about it.
You nod, a little startled by his comment. “Probably, yeah. Or we would’ve told them already, too excited to keep a secret,” you smile a little to yourself, thinking about how Andrei almost spoiled his proposal twice before he actually popped the question because he was so excited.
He grins at you, dimple popping, and pushes a slim box across the table at you. “Early Christmas present,” he says, answering your unasked question.
Looking at him suspiciously, you pop the lid on the jewelry box, finding a thin gold chain bracelet with two delicate charms on it - the common blue and white Greek mati to ward off the evil eye and a little horizontal cross attached at each end to the chain. You trace your fingers over the chain and look up at Andrei.
“A little luck?” He says, lifting one shoulder. “I saw it in a store window, in Long Island, before we played. Made me think of you.”
“Thank you,” you murmur, getting out of your seat to kiss him softly. You trace your tongue over his lower lip and desire stirs in your stomach, something foreign after the last few weeks, but oh so familiar. You’re not quite ready to have sex yet, but it’s a good reminder that you will one day soon. “It’s perfect.” You hold out your wrist and Andrei clasps the bracelet on.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he says, reminding you of the promise he made in the car.
“Whenever I’m ready,” you repeat, crawling onto his lap and letting him hold you. The thought of getting pregnant again doesn’t make your chest feel quite as tight anymore, doesn’t get the panic alarms ringing in your head. Andrei’s been so patient and gentle, making everything just a little bit easier to bear.
Every day just reminds you that as long as Andrei’s by your side, you can handle anything life throws at you.
He kisses the side of your head and holds you close, chasing the shadows of grief away.
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pyotrkochetkov · 1 year ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/pyotrkochetkov/718416232929492992/icechip-here-we-go-again-pyotr-and-svech?source=share
I have seen the video for the first time today, I had only seen gifs and stuff (I know) and I realized that right at the end, when pyotr finish his sentence, when he goes like I go to NHL and bla bla, he looks at Andrei and Andrei nods a bit and omg they are so cute. It's a moment like did I do good? You did perfect baby
ANON OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE POINTING THIS OUT, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS AND I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT NOW
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