#putting words in specific orders

[spaced0lphin]

I Read My Own Fanfiction 20 Years Later and I Wanna Give Kid Me a Hug

I was reminded the other day of my very first fanfiction that I put online. I couldn't remember what I even called it, but could remember just enough to try scouring the Internet. To equal parts shock and horror, I actually found the thing. So, I read it. And, I cried - I cried a lot, actually. At fourteen years old, I wrote 55,000+ words about Dilandau Albatou from Escaflowne and some self-insert OC. Three years later, in 2006, I rewrote the whole thing from the ground up, clocking in at 73,600+ that time before I stopped updating it. I just got done reading the whole mess, and let me tell you, it is cringe and awful, and I wish time machines existed. Not so I could stop myself from writing this. But, so I could make fourteen and seventeen-year-old me a cup of tea, sit down, and go through this story with them. So much of it is such a keening cry about wanting to know what it felt like to be loved. I don't remember writing this story now - it was twenty years ago - but I do remember how I felt at the time and where it came from. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I was going through hell at that time in my young life. I was actively being abused and had no frame of reference to understand it as what was going on. I just felt like no one wanted to hear me, and so the only way to be loved was to write it happening to me. I want to go back in time so I can show enthusiastic interest in what teenage me was trying to express with this. I want to share with her the things I like about this, and I want to make her feel seen, safe, and reassured. I want to let her talk with me about her ideas for this story until she falls asleep. I want to show her healthier ways to recognise and understand love so she'll be better prepared for the things she'll encounter later. And... bless her heart, but I want to tell her she doesn't need to over-explain everything in excruciating detail - something I know she did because she felt she had to prove she was smart and worth listening to. She tried so hard to use florid language to catch the attention of those around her she needed love from the most. It never worked. I can tell you that I wrote about wanting an all-encompassing, powerful romantic love - and sure, that's part of what I wanted - I was a teenage girl, after all. But mostly, what I wanted was simply to be engaged with. I wanted to feel like my feelings and my dreams were important to someone. It is frankly astonishing to me that the story I wrote back then had any fans at all - but it did! Thirteen whole, entire people actually read that thing and commented enthusiastically on it. That's thirteen people more than zero. Whoever you are out there: Twenty years later, thank you. Your words of support on a screen meant the world to me. It was all I really had, back then. If you read Codename: Fox and/or the incredibly boldly named The Revision of Escaflowne on FF.net in the early oughts, thank you. You were my therapists and you didn't even know it. Oh, but uh, don't go and read them if you haven't already. They're truly abysmal. Bless my little heart but, just, abysmal. Comment on your favourite fic, today!

[rking200]

Sometimes the only road to take is the darkest Sometimes the only way out is as a carcass

Happy 6th Anniversary, Detroit: Become Human! As always, you can find these gifs and more on the Connor and Markus pages of my Gif Archive.

[liesmyth]

hey remember the thai bl show that brought omegaverse to the screen??? the alpha/alpha mpreg show??? I just found out that my (rl) sports blorbo guy canonically exists in the show's universe... in the knotfucking heatsex mating tv show... desperately need to know who in the production made this decision and which fics they've read. and if they have recs

[dragonbornoflegend]

made it home from the show looking exactly the same but a Process Has Occurred

[spaced0lphin]

I have done all of these but my most common is the in trouble/conflict action scene, and the mood establishing character thought soliloquy.

Action gives me a chance to grab the reader and show how these characters handle stress, and the catharsis from the resolving action gives a good chance to show more about who they actually are immediately. The return to normalcy often offers a lot of chances to show off the worldbuilding in quick important succession.

Types of Opening Scenes for Your Novel

Here are a handful of ways to open the very first scene in your book! There are plenty more to explore, but these are a set of very tried and true methods.

Autobiographic - your protagonist starts the book reflecting or talking about a past event. They’re looking back in time and sharing an important piece of information with the reader.

In trouble/conflict - a problem has arisen for the protagonist and a sense of urgency is established. This can be an intense conflict like a chase scene or a puzzling problem.

Mysterious opening - the reader is introduced to something peculiar (a fantasy location, unique magic, a cloaked figure, etc.) that raises questions in their mind. Their curiosity will keep them reading.

Scene-setting - the most common opening where you focus on introducing the setting and the characters in it before anything else.

The questioner - the protagonist is questioning something: “Who invited the guy in the trench coat covered in red?”

Beginning with a thought - the novel is started with a philosophical quote or meaningful thought from the protagonist. “What is living worth if she’s not doing it with me?”

Intriguing dialogue - the book starts with interesting dialogue that captures the attention of the reader.

Mood establisher - the novel opens with a deliberate mood that signifies to the reader what they should expect from the story. Ex. a spooky story may open with eerie words and a dark atmosphere.

Instagram: coffeebeanwriting

[philsmeatylegss]

The hardest lesson you will learn if you are interested in learning about Nazi Germany: so may people posting content about it are actual Nazis

No seriously if anyone is starting to get into WWII/Third Reich history, it is so easy to be indoctrinated because the main message a lot of Nazis spit now is that Hitler was bad and the SS were bad, but everyone else was chill.

And it’s hard to realize the narrative they’re spitting is wrong unless you know a lot going into it.

I have been watching a dude called “TIKhistory” the last few days on youtube and something felt off about his takes, but a lot of them had at least some plausible deniability and enough factual information that I thought it was still worthwhile.

I just start watching another video from this dude with the title “The REAL Reason why Hitler HAD to start WW2” which is an insane title and caught my attention. And then my answer was given by the first five mins of his video when I realized this dude was, at the least, a wehraboo, and at most, an actual Nazi.

Pretty much any non-Nazi historian agrees that Hitler started WWII because 1) he wanted to conquer Europe 2) he wanted “Lebensraum,” aka living space for “Aryans.” Where German people, with no Jewish or Roma people present, can have ample space to live.

You know why most non-Nazi historians agree on this? Because Hitler fucking said this. In his literal book. That everyone read.

WWII was declared by the Allies when Germany invaded Poland for LeBeNsRaUm. Yes, Germany never wanted to fight Britain. You know why? 1) they were white enough 2) a fucking ocean kept them apart. They wanted all of Europe + Soviet Union. That is why WWII started.

See how quick it was to get to that point? Fucking TIKhistory’s video is forty five minutes long. That’ll happen when your point is horeshit and also not true.

Hitler started WWII. All of the generals and higher ups at least knew of the Holocaust and most perpetrated their own massacres for shits and giggles. The Nazi army wasn’t really that great, they just knew how to play the cards in the circumstances they were in (they used horses a fuck ton. You don’t see it because a lot of documentaries use footage from Nazi propaganda in which they weren’t recorded). These are all basic facts for non-Nazis. So warning that if anyone you meet challenges those three facts, they probably are a Nazi

[spaced0lphin]

My Fanfiction Crimes: WayfaringJedi

I run a SW focused sideblog, called wayfaringjedi, where I post art and fics and stuff.

Earlier this month, I found a list of “headcanons” about a Star Wars character, posted publicly, here on Tumblr. Looking to blow off some steam, I wrote a six thousand word narrative incorporating some of them. I credited/tagged the person who posted the list in the first place – I was hoping to make a fandom friend, and start a conversation. In my experience, that tends to be what happens when two enthusiastic creatives interact after one inspires the other.

For the past eight days, I have stayed silent as the grave on this issue, as one is supposed to when someone on the Internet decides to engage in behaviour like what this author has done.

I have been accused of plagiarism, ablism, and abuse. This author has publicly and on numerous occasions solicited their followers to bother me and attempt to disrupt my work. They are now engaging in malicious reporting, attempting to get my blogs flagged as Spam, and my accounts shadowbanned, or worse.

So, I am writing this. I find addressing all of this publicly to be an exercise in disappointment and exasperation; I had hoped for this incident to blow over and be nothing more than an embarrassing footnote in an otherwise enjoyable fandom experience. Yet, here I am, reduced to talking about this as if the complaints had any merit. However, at this juncture, I don’t want their voice as the only one dictating the narrative.

It all started when the author reblogged my original post sharing my work with them, essentially stating they felt I’d stolen from them. They explained they didn’t want to write in their story anymore, and threatened to stop writing in general, because of me. (I’m paraphrasing, the post was deleted.) My initial response was shock and dismay – no one had ever reacted in this way to me before, and the last thing I want to do is hurt anybody. As I’m quite a shy person and often seek to minimise myself, I apologised and deleted the work from Tumblr. The author blocked me without further comment.

I wasn’t able to get on Ao3, as I was out at the time, and busy. When I sat down at the computer several hours later, this author and their followers had run rampant with comments all over my work. Accusing me of being disingenuous, an “idea thief,” a plagiarist, and of being deliberately malicious and insulting by daring to have my work up.

My one and only statement was this thorough comment I left on my own work. (This version of my comment has the author’s username redacted, to protect them from any abuse.)

I enabled comment moderation to stop the arguments. I deleted most of the comments, particularly more inflammatory ones, and ones including mention of the author’s first name. I have acted to protect this person and I will continue to; their username will not be mentioned here, and all trace of them has been removed from my work as it remains on Ao3. It will certainly be possible to find out who this person is, but I will not assist in this, and ask that nobody name them, either.

Shortly after posting this comment, the author unblocked me on Tumblr and we had a brief, unproductive discussion. In it, I restated my points and confirmed that I would not be removing my work. The author expressed to me what I felt were unreasonable demands (to remove, or significantly alter the work by removing entire themes, etc) and whilst for the most part civil, their comments towards me descended into ad hominem (‘You’re not a nice person,’ etc.) once it became clear that I would not obey. Much noise was made about being neurodivergent – I am too, it’s a non-starter with me.

I explained in these messages that neither of us own the fictional character in question, nor do we own certain general themes and/or ideas, to which the author responded by calling me ‘cruel.’

They insisted I take personal responsibility and account for some 27 anonymous hate messages they claimed to have received. I asked for proof of them. 

Initially, the author refused to provide me with any, on account of my own refusal to delete my work for them first – a line of reasoning I couldn’t understand, personally, but I’ll get to that in a moment.

They then disappeared for about an hour or so, and came back with screenshots of some anonymous messages.

Firstly, no one should be bombarded with messages like that, and given that I only had 10 followers at the time of this incident, their existence is shocking to the point of inspiring awe.

For several reasons, mainly contextually based – I believe this author wrote and sent these anonymous messages to themself, to screenshot and use as “evidence” against me.

I certainly did not send them, and I’m sure if Tumblr’s admin side looks into the IP addresses these anonymous messages originate from, they will be the same as the author’s. I would, at this point, be willing to bet money on it.

I received some messages as well, and in response, I turned off anonymous messaging. Then, I received messages from what I believe is one of the author’s sockpuppets, complaining that I had turned off anonymous messages. I received multiple messages per day. Initially, I didn’t block this account – I was intent on giving this person no satisfaction whatsoever, not even a block.

These messages run the gamut from goofy Internet rage, to vaguely threatening:

I find it extremely difficult to believe that a random friend of this author would continue to be angry enough about this to message me multiple times a day for an entire week – I think it’s much more likely that this is the author themself. Given this, there are certain unusual turns of phrase that this account and at least one other uses in common. “Have the day you deserve.” That’s all over the place in the initial Ao3 bombardment. (I'm unconcerned with censoring the username for the following two comments as they belong to a sock.)

The saddest thing I have found about this entire debacle is that the messages I believe this author wrote to abuse themself with are so much more scathing than anything they wrote to me – their supposed enemy in all this. In fact, the things they’ve said betray an immense insecurity about themselves and their work that breaks my heart. They don’t deserve to feel this way about themselves or their work, and I think they are using this incident as a catalyst for validation of some kind. During the discussion with me, they put themselves down a lot, and it is my honest belief that this person feels so aggrieved because, somehow, they think they can’t do ‘better’ than what I wrote. To be clear, that is a nonsense fear. They are an incredibly strong writer with their own style and sense of direction very distinct from my own. Even with some similar themes, our stories would never be the same. 

One thing this author – or one of their sockpuppets – asked that I would like to answer is the question of whether or not I would ‘fight for it,’ were the situation reversed. The answer, friend or sockpuppet, is no. Other writers can, do, and have used my personal ideas, plots, and interpretations of characters freely in their own works, without asking. I have loved reading them. Illustrators have traced my drawings and my 3D models. Power to them. If someone else would like to write a story or make a mod with the same subject matter as any of mine, I would love to see and support it.

The author expressed to me insecurity about feeling that if they finished their story now, they would be accused of copying me. I assured them then, just as I do now, no reasonable person would think that, and if they did, I would be the first in line to tell this hypothetical gobshite where to stick it.

Further, they expressed interest in reporting my story to Ao3 administrators. I suggested if they really felt this way, they ought to. I requested they not delete the original post of theirs that I cited in my credit to them, so that the administrators could be fair to us both in reviewing all information in context, and comparing our works. The author explained they had already deleted it. I retain a full backup of the post, as well as my comments section in full before I made any deletions. I forwarded these to Ao3 myself in my initial report.

“Headcanons” have been put up by fan creators for other fan creators to build off of since time immemorial. It’s good to tag and credit where you found ideas – sharing is caring, and caring is fun. The crux of this author’s complaint seems to be that I didn’t ask them first. This is simply not how publicly posted ideas for fanfiction have worked in my twenty-odd years of writing it. Whilst I respect this person’s upset, I will not capitulate. My story is mine, I have interpreted these ideas in my own way, and I have stolen nothing.

The idea that a fanfiction author is attempting to take another to task with claims about intellectual property is a line of argument I find baffling, to say the least. 

As an interesting point of fact, I have been made aware of what this author has said in the body of one of their messages reporting me to Tumblr. In it, they claim to have been in contact with Ao3 site administrators, who have “already agreed to ban” me, on the basis of “evidence” they have sent in. Also, they claim to have law enforcement involved in this situation, as ‘what I am doing to them’ constitutes a “crime.” 

I can assure everyone that I have heard from no police, and my account is in good standing with Ao3. This author is attempting to strengthen their argument against me to Tumblr with fully disprovable lies, which at this point, seems to be a pattern.

Whether or not you personally agree with this author’s sentiment that I have violated some social norm, the fact remains that this escalatory, dishonest behaviour is unacceptable, and I will not negotiate with it. One only has to look briefly at my history of engaging with fandom on this site – whatever blog it happens to be from – to see that I am not the kind of person who behaves in the way this author is alleging. I have never in my life sent anonymous hate messages to anyone.

The author has explained to me that they have deleted their entire body of works related to this story that they were writing. They appear to want me to emotionally account in some way for this action, and I will not. This author’s actions and responses to this situation – every last one – are their own, and they alone are responsible for them.

Let me be clear in saying that when this is dealt with by administrators, it is likelier than not that this other author will fully lose their account due to their documented goofiness over this. I personally do not want that outcome for them. I want the same thing that I have wanted throughout this entire stupid mess; to write stories for fun, in peace, and share them with others.

I am very sure that the author will read this, or parts of it at least, as they have a fixation on me at the moment. I am sure they will have something to say about it.

I am not interested in hearing it, and I will not entertain one word of it. Everything I have said is true, I have documented it, I have saved it, and I have given it to whom it concerns.

At best, I have done absolutely nothing wrong. At worst, I have a genuinely different experience with fandom ethos. Either way, this entire business is utter nonsense.

[dangerous-advantage]

finally caved and just bought all of the heaven official's blessing books. look out for the myriad of long-ass analysis posts that are sure to follow

[komashkathesilly]

we have the microwaving and rotating in ur head option and also playing with characters like dolls. im offering sorting out all known information and putting it in charts in ur head option. vivisecting the information and reconstructing it piece by piece . stacking it like rocks and cubes on each other. or lego

[spaced0lphin]

Show don't tell is important, I argue, but that's exactly right. If used as an absolutism it turns the text into a slog both to read and to write. If you do so much showing, you don't end up telling, and telling is what we do to stories.

Basically, don't take the Michael Bay approach... don't frame every shot as the most important shot in the whole film. Because when you do that, all of a sudden no shots are the most important in the film and it becomes a big noise. That's why nobody can watch the Transformers movies and remember anything about them. They create a busy brain fog and the brain can only hold so much.

Showing is important. I'd say it's important most of the time. But you should be wary of how it affects the pacing of your moment.

i just saw a tiktok (<- cursed cursed site) that started out good, talking about how "show don't tell" is something you should keep in mind. It used the example of "instead of saying 'she opened the door', try 'her shaking hand twisted the doorknob, letting out a loud creak'".

And, yeah, if you're trying to convey the hesitance, fear, and eventual sucking-it-up that seems to be going on in the scene, that's great.

But.

The tiktok ended with, "see? Showing is ALWAYS better." And I just...

Friends & enemies, that's how you end up with that insufferable always-showing always-active YA writing style that does not know when to just shut up and say "she opened the door".

Because, yeah, I'll say it. Sometimes "she opened the door" IS better. Sometimes, the act of opening the door is literally just announcing a setting change, and you don't need to focus on it.

Show don't tell is about conveying important or relevant information, not about literally everything you're writing. You're allowed to say "she opened the door" & similar, and in fact, I encourage it in many scenarios.

[highlifeboat]

Me @ Me when the Urge to Create is there but also the Urge to Just Word Vomit in a Post (much more appealing)

[warcrimesimulator]

Katya was one of my time-traveler people before I had the concept of that. The precursor to what would eventually become that, basically.

In the oldest versions of my story, when I first decided to create a fictional race of people, they were just a modern invention, a result of an unethical genetics experiment. Some Russian scientist wanted to create a new, "superior" type of person that were hardier to harsh environmental conditions and immune to diseases. But these newly-created people end up being stigmatized in society (and eventually Russia decides to genocide them so they escape and move to other parts of the world), so naturally they formed an identity of their own. And a lot of them became scientists themselves and played a role in various things. There really wasn't much depth to them though because I was like 15 and the primary point of my story at the time was just coming up with batshit insane WW3 geopolitics.

[masochistartt]

https://www.tumblr.com/masochistartt/765011159749378048/httpswwwtumblrcommasochistartt76499487678175?source=share

This is a fucking awesome explainer that deserves to be seen and understood by everyone but lol I actually meant the fandom tea side - I know and agree with everything you've explained here, I was curious about what kinds of things people in the fandom are doing that is like, obtusely naive of this stuff. I guess from this post I can extrapolate but yeah - so much of this is fundamental to what a footballer is actually like and I do think the fandom has gotten... let's just say softer and more annoying and cutesy as it's grown. But I was curious about like, specifics about people being wrong and what kind of stuff had been pissing you off. I guess just people making shit too wholesome and not getting that these guys aren't Online Woke? I also think the show missed a lot of opportunities with not showing WAG culture and how many of them have kids young, but I think they wanted them to feel more like kids themselves to Ted/audience. Ugh. Isaac has like 3 kids to me. PS I am so bummed Brennan deleted, he is an angel.

oh im sorry i 1000% fell asleep before i saw this message !!! there's not been one particular thing that's pushed me over the edge per se, it's just a bunch of little things that've built up over time and i was willing to start fights last night haha

like anyone can interpret the show whatever way they want to it's not up to me to tell them how to view this (again) lighthearted show i'm just someone who thinks that there's context to be had in knowing the culture outside of the show (esp with storylines like colin's and jamie's and things that could really do with additional context for nuanced portrayals like with roy)

also 100% agree with all that stuff at the end - they wanted the players to be like. yeah like kids to ted (and the targeted viewership is. american middle aged dads. which people also forget a lot i think) so seeing them with whole ass families would offset that !!

i also agree isaac has like 3 kids and his partner from the wedding scene was his childhood gf who he married when he got his first professional contract :') <3

and i also also feel bad about brennan being forced into deleting his accounts like. people need to Calm Down and Leave People Alone seriously what did this man, a stranger who kicks a ball around for a living, ever do to you to make you react like that. football's not that serious babes <3333 and good for him on that scoring streak he deserved it (same applies to brendan hunt - fandom's not that serious and people need to take a step back)

[chapadoearmado]

OH WOW

[headpatslut]

I bite and burst the taut skin of the fruit Two drops of blood escape my lips and run Well past my chin - with more in quick pursuit Until my throat is red just like my tongue

I've stained the sheets through my own negligence The messy price for my debauchery I've satisfied the need for sustenance And yet I take more than you offer me

It is a rotten, yet fulfilling task And this is why without remorse I ask Forgiveness rather than permission, dear

So darling, don't extend your hand too soon I'll take your arm, your heart, your liver too But I'll make sure it's worth it - don't you fear

Dee

[spaced0lphin]

Father

Sometimes, selfishly

I wish for no Father's Day

And its reminders

I try to take joy

In others' relationships

And celebrate them

But there is always

That little girl asking me

Where did Daddy go?

I am older now

I could have been a mother

If I'd felt it right

No one is psychic

I couldn't promise a child

They'd never ask, too

So instead I write

About men who guide others

Make others feel safe

Be there for others

And give time for themselves too

Men who love freely

I know of a few

Good men fate has not yet blessed

This day is theirs, too