#putting this here for future reference...

[lchufflepuffcorn]

Nesting head canon

Requested here by the 🥰anon!

Note : I've changed computer and now I don't know how this thing works. I'm so sorry if anything happens, I'll try to correct any mistake as soon as possible! Keep in mind that English is not my first language, so be kind if you want to correct me (or else😶‍🌫️).

Masterlist

Dragon!Hybrid masterlist

Warning : Minor DNI. Spicy content ahead, consider yourselves warned. Aemond : Mention of penetration (reader receiving) Laenor : Mention of penetration (Character receiving). Fingering (Baela Recieving). Dry-humping (Jacaerys doing it). Sub-ish Laenor cuz I can. No official gender references for the reader.

Aemond: 

Nesting™ for Aemond is not something that will change his way of acting toward you, not to the outsiders eyes, anyway. He’s pretty minimalistic in his approach. He’ll spend more time with you, touching your shoulders or the small of your back more often. Fleeting touches of his fingers brushing yours as you walk before wrapping your arms to his. If he even thinks that he saw you shiver from the cold, he will give you his jacket/cape/scarf/etc menacingly. He’s clingier, in the way that before, he could manage to have you roam all of the King’s Landing castle with only people at his booth giving him notes on your whereabouts. When he’s nesting, he has to have you next to him, or if he really cannot be with you, with Helaena. He doesn’t trust anyone else with you but his sister, his sister’s guards (because she’s the princess, and then the queen) and himself. 

He will rearrange the chambers and keep it cleaner than it already is during that period of time. The cushions would be comfortable, soft, the linens clean and fresh at all times. The room (especially the bedchamber) would smell of your favourite scent, the bed itself would have draps covering it from unwanted eyes, but shear enough so that the room outside would be visible if any kind of lights are lit. Aemond would also make sure that you are fed enough, going as far as to have snacks readily prepared for you next to the bed. 

I also see Aemond being softer with you when he’s nesting. 

Kisses shared as he moved inside of you, hands caressing your face, you chest, hips then legs, as if Aemond doesn’t know where to place his hands the most. The candlelights make his eyes shine with more adoration that you’ve seen from him than he’s had for weeks now. His hair, stuck in a braid you’ve treaded falling over his shoulder swinging with each wave made by the movements of your bodies intermingled together. His patch still ornating his face, he shivers and sighs when your lips leave his and trail all over his face. His hips still when you reach the dark patch over his maimed eye. 

“Qelos…” He breathes his pleas softly, one of his hands reaching for your face, putting a bit of distance between the two of you to examine your face. 

“I want to see you.” Your voice nearly makes him whine (weak, Vhagar growls at the voice in his mind). Aemond’s breath hitches when you make the two of you roll over to sit on his lap. He can feel himself piercing deeper into the warmth of your body, and the prince let his face fall in the crook of your neck, a soft moan of your name escaping him. 

Using his moment of inattention, you slip the patch covering his eye off of his head, leaving it on the pillow behind him. You kiss his scar, the corner of his eye, words of praise mingling with sighes of pleasure. Aemond could never imagine a more perfect being as you. 

Baela:

To Baela, nesting is the way to confirm and end a courtship. She knows that it will come back multiple times in her life and that it’s also used to achieve the catch of future hatchling within her. She could become pregnant outside of nesting season, but it’s easier when she is then when she’s not. And it’s a big deal to her. Everything needs to be perfect, she has to show you how good she would be to your hatchlings. Hence, she’ll pull all the stops. 

Baela would learn to crochet if you shivered, she’d hunt for a fur to add to your collection. Banquets would only serve food you like, your room would be cleaned and redecorated to fit the latest interest you’ve shone toward anything really. You would only find the softest material on the bed, and she would have upped the security of it with guards posting at the door and down the hall. She probably will also have hidden dagguers in many places, just in case. She's not clingy in public, but she cannot take her hands off of you in private, and she gets scary angry when someone interrupts your private session. 

You could never had been prepared to the dichotomy of Baela’s character as you were busying your fingers inside of her, pumping softly, kissing her shoulders as she writhed under you, moaning praises to you wantonly, and the snarl that echoed throught your bed chambers, freezing you in your position when her father (whom you hadn’t heard knock, if he had done so) entered your space. 

He didn’t seem bothered by the lack of cloathing he found you in, nor did he seem impressed by his eldest daughte’s fury. He spoke in valeryan, which you couldn’t understand, and promptly covered baela and yourself with the furs scattered on the bed. Baela spat something back to her father, dragon wings popping into existence, shielding you from further sight. Daemon rolled his eyes, added something that made your lover huff before he left, giving you a proud(?) look. 

“What was that about?” You asked once the door of the room was closed once more. Baela only sighed, plopping down on the soft pillows, her leathery wings sprawled on each side of her. 

“Father had been searching for us, the servants didn’t want to bother entering our room, they had an invitation to a banquet to announce. He thought he would be best if he told the news instead.” You nodded at her explanation. 

“And was it? Best, I mean.” 

Baela’s gaze fell on you, her eyes roaming over your naked body for a second before she shook her head. 

“Don’t worry your pretty head over it, my brave Rider. Dragons have respect for other dragons, and their mates.”

She rose from her lying position, trapping your face with her hands and kissing you, not letting you wonder about the meaning of her words much longer before starting your previous activities once more. 

Jace:

To Jace, nesting is all about your comfort. He becomes much more overbearing and worried about your wellbeing, even in moments that aren’t warranting it. If you didn’t spend much time apart to begin with, say goodbye to your alone time altogether at this point. 

He doesn’t let anyone else touch you, even your help, he’ll wash you. Hell, he’d spoon-feed if you’d let him (you’re not). And if he could justify it, you wouldn’t leave the bedchambers at all. There is no reason why Luke and/or Rhaena would need your attention more than he does!  

Jace’s nest would be one of the more chaotic ones, however. Sure, it’s made out of the nicest materials he could find, and all of your favourite things surrounding it, but it’s not in your bed, rather in the room that contains all of your clothes, behind the bed, where it’s more protected. It’s on the ground (but he’s made a soft surface so that it’s comfortable, he’s not an animal!!) and he freaks out everytime a servant tries to go inside the small space during his nesting period. 

“I still don’t understand why the bed is not acceptable.” You were muttering, neck thrown back as he placed a multitude of kisses on the skin of your neck, careful not to leave any (visible) marks there. A grumble left his chest, his dragon’s tail swapping the air around you 

“Safe.” He (or maybe it was Vermax) muttered against the skin of your neck, not even bothering to look up at you. You hummed, letting your hands tangle with his hair, eliciting a purr from him. 

“I know it’s safe, but from what? There’s about a thousand knights sworn to your mother present on the castle’s ground alone.” You teased. 

Unpleased by your words, Jace nipped at your shoulder, purring at the small sound of pleasure that made past your lips. He pressed his clothed body against yours, letting you feel his hardness as he rubbed himself on one of your legs. “Jewels need to be protected.” He breathed softly, teeth playing with the lobe of your ear. You hummed, contracting your leg to tease him. 

“Of course, darling.” It was no use to try and have him make sense right now.  

Laenor:

With Laenor it changed after the fiasco of his first nesting with you. But he always was very present and protective with you, making sure you were comfortable and had everything you would need at any point in reach. When he’s younger, he would muddle the courting rituals and the nesting instincts. 

Laenor was quite proud of this year’s nesting. He’d rearrange your shared bedroom so that the pile of comfortable and plushie material that usually served as a nest was in the corner, with  good sight on the door and an easy acces to the hidden door. He’d even had you scent (unknowingly) his favourite dress shirt. And now, he had you pounding into him, dripping sweat and puffing warm air into his neck and he purred incessantly. 

You’d willingly meet him inside of the nest, without asking questions and without having him coaxing you inside of it either. It was the first time it happened. You were becoming quite knowledgeable in dragonkin tendancies as time passed. A far cry from the child you were, unsure and hesitant about every action you did. 

“Ah… How come it’s with me you spent that time?” You asked, breath coming out short, his back arching as he felt your appendage hit his prostate repeatedly, a string of moans cutting his answering short. 

“You want to know now?” Laenor’s not sure if he should be insulted or preening at your curiosity. 

Your hands placed on his hips, you made him meet your mouvement sharply, and another pathetic endaring sound made it out of his lips. “Maybe not.” You chuckled, capturing his lips again with your own. 

Rhaena:

As her nesting instinct developed later in lifeshe might have been surprised by it. She is also pretty minimalistic with it, not understanding why she would do it anywhere else but in the bed (Jace does NOT give good advice.) She’s very conscious of your confort, and loves having your scents intermingle with eachother inside the nest. So be prepared to find clothes under the covers of your bed during this time period. 

I don’t think she’ll be very assertive or protective of you, per se, more so of the nest itself. It’s also not a reflex she has to protect it from the three little ones she’s taking care of for her aunt. Aegon III, Viserys and Joffrey have free passes when it comes to your nest, as she sees them as her own. 

“Rhaena.” 

Your grumbled echoed in the darkened bedroom of the essos manor you were currently invited to occupy,trying to wake the limp form cuddled at your back with an arm thrown haphazardly in her direction. The back of your hand hit something once, twice… three times before a groan answered your call. “What?” 

She nuzzled into your neck, both of you naked from your previous night, and with eyes groggily looking at the sad juvenile face pouting at you from outside the warm barrier of the bed, you tugged the covers closer to you. 

“There’s a child here.” 

Rhaena’s quick to raise her head from her pillow, looking over you to the white-haired little boy with fat tears threatening to fall from his eyes. She curse underher breath, exiting your bed and searching the ground for something -anything- to cover herself with. Rummaging throught the mess of linens you offert her a long shirt, unsure if it’s hers or yours, and uncaring at this point. You let her deal with Aegon, searching yourself for something that would make you more presentable before lying back down in your bed. 

It’s a good while after that Rhaena comes back in the bed, followed by the child, who settles between the two of you, content. She smile apologetically and you shrug. They might not be yours by blood, but they act like your children, so what if they spent time cuddling with you to find comfort? 

Taglist: @lady-dragon-rider or @lady-dragon-rider-2 (I don't know which one now..)

[mscherub]

Witchy Ways 🕸️

Reader is gender neutral, referred to as Prefect, Y/N, Henchhuman(by Grim)

Warnings!:

My writing cause what was I doing while writing this—

Swearing

Half proof read

Part 4: “The Umbrella and the Black Cat.”

Previous part here <3

Next part here <3 (TBD)

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Part 4: “The Umbrella and the Black Cat.”

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The thing to do now…hide away, maybe? With those readings you got, you’re put on edge, that prickly feeling on the back of your neck people usually get when someone is watching them, though, you’re not sure if you’re actually being watched or not. That’s also concerning. So, now this, and the fear of your own practice, it’s like this world you’ve gotten plopped in to is taunting you or something!

Feels like it for sure. And, you guess now knowing something else is coming your way in the future, things aren’t looking too bright. Up your protection spell magic maybe? It’d certainly be the most beneficial option for your safety right now…damn, having to think of your own safety in general is just a wild thing.

Part of you doesn’t want to believe the symbols you seen, instead of taking them as insightful ones, which is how they are supposed to be taken, they seem more like warnings…or threats, both are plausible answers. And going back to the whole idea of your magic acting up the way it is here, it’s safe to say you can’t just push the thought away or take what you got with a grain of salt.

To even attempt to get these raging thoughts to cease, you’re bordering the edge of the forest by ramshackle, foraging for certain herbs while, in hopes of even finding any, and dangerously close to just banging your head off a tree. Money was, as usual, very tight, so here you are poking around and trying to scrap together any herbs you can find to make your own little protection charms to carry around on you.

“Ahhh…what am I gonna do? Maybe not think about it? Like I could do that…this is really, really cumbersome…” As if talking to yourself would give you an answer, but it honestly helps to clear your mind a bit more and get your thoughts set straight. You carry a little satchel, messing with the drawstrings on the bag as you scout around.

“Weighing the options of safety…I mean for sevens sake, it’s never safe for me here anyways, but thats not…ughhh! It’s one thing after the other anymore.” You mutter again as you bend down and look at a plant…it’s spiky and an awkward blue color, and almost looks like it’s pulsating. This is definitely not a plant you’re accustomed to. Maybe it’d be easier to just go rob the Botanical Gardens because you are not getting too far over here. Though, you’d have to avoid the people frolicking around in there, like the science club kids, sevens forbid you run into Rook, you’re just screwed at that point, or Leona, but he probably wouldn’t care, scratch that, he wouldn’t. Just in and out for what you need, walk in like you own the place and people won’t question!

With a quick look around, scanning the area and deeming it safe to head off to your destination, you start off your little journey. There are easier ways to do protection spells, yes, but your magic is a little unpredictable so to speak, and maybe something like a little protection spell jar or charm would work better, and for a longer period of time for you. For now, however, just drawing a pentacle with your own saliva on the back of your hand should be enough for now, hopefully. You kinda know your own magic…kind of…

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The botanical gardens are always nicely kept, the plant variety that’s housed in here is definitely in the 100’s, and it’s always nice to come here and look at the various life forms when you quite literally have nothing else to do. You walk along the paths that twist and turn in search of the items you need for just a simple protection satchel…you didn’t have an jars left, so you had to make do with what you had, easy since that’s the way to go anyways!

The organization system of the whole place was usually followed to a T, the rest of the science experiments being done kept away in their own little section and keeping them from cluttering with the other plants. You find “row” R, and you walk down, looking for rosemary, which shouldn’t be that difficult to find. You know, it is kind of calming in the gardens, of course because of how peaceful it can be. You can see how Leona can fall asleep in here—

“Ah! Bonjour, Trickster! What a delightful surprise to see you here!”

Ignore him.

Just…pretend he’s not there. Can’t hear him. You stiffen up and you look down at the rosemary plant which you just managed to find…why now?

“Trickster?” His voice drops slightly and you nod, giving in and turning around to face him.

“Heyyyyy, Rook…” you force a smile. You have to stop thinking of situations in your head because clearly they’re gonna come true.

He smiles back and clasps his hands together, his eyes narrowing. “What is your reason for being here today, alone nonetheless? I see Monsieur Fuzzball isn’t accompanying you on this fine and gorgeous afternoon?”

“He’s just with the duo, like usual. He’s uh, I’ve been dropping him off there a lot lately, I’ve been busy…”

“I see, yet that still doesn’t explain the fact that you are here.”

Why is this man on to you in an instant? Can’t you just be left alone for once? In all reality you knew that couldn’t happen, but I guess it’s time to lie— again. “I’m just trying to get things for, erm— skin care! Yea! That’s it! Skin care, mhmmm! Rosemary is anti inflammatory, did ya know that? Also promotes hair growth…I was just gonna take a little is all. You know me, money is not my uh, not my friend cause it likes to avoid me. Yea.” Convincing enough.

“Ou la la! Why forage around for such items when Rou du Poison has the items already processed that you are in search of! I guarantee that his products will be better than any others, though it is just beautiful to see how hard at work you appeared to be while searching! Ah! Beauté how you try to conserve and take matters into your own hands!” He was as eccentric as ever, clearly.

He slips his hand to the upper part of your back and drags you along out of the gardens, conversing with you the entire time as he drags you off to Pomefiore grounds which never fail to be breathtaking, but also frightening since you know who runs them.

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“You never fail to surprise me.” Vil quickly states after he hears the reiteration of what you were doing from Rook, who, sits looking too happy at the moment, a smile wide across his face.

“Well, I apologize for not squandering my money off—“

“Exactly, you don’t have money to do that. But are you so humble that you can’t bother to ask help from others? Especially with matters that I expertise in, genuinely, Prefect, you are quite odd.” He sighs as he inspects his nails, uncrossing his legs then standing up. His heels click against the ground as he gets closer to you, his eyes critical as he looks over your features. You were stressed so if you looked a little off that would be why.

“What would you like? I can give you a rundown on your skin type if you’d like. Here, follow along.” And you’re dragged off again. Vil takes you to his room and sits you down promptly at his vanity and he begins to test multiple products on your arms and back of your hands like some guinea pig, but it was all in the best of interest for your skin, obviously.

“Which do you like better of the products? I have a lot procured to multiple skin types…I have to have them on hand for any of my dorm members. And now respectively you, of course.” He hums softly as he begins to take the bottles of products that matched and reacted well with your skin and he ushered you up and brought you to the bathroom to wash your face.

This was not how you intend to spend your afternoon. Not that you were fully against the entire situation, it just wasn’t ideal for the problem you have at hand, the one problem only you know about, but still! Out of all the things you said to Rook you had to say skincare. You could have said cooking and he’d have probably left you alone.

“Pat dry, don’t do anything else, it’ll disrupt and irritate the skin.” He chides as he strolls out of the bathroom and back to his vanity, spinning the chair to face your direction. “Chop chop.”

Toner first, he applies it and lets it sink into your pores while he gets multiple bottles of serums and lists each effect, but you don’t have the effort to actually listen in and understand the properties. Off of serums then on to eye cream, placed prospectively under the eyes.

“Have you been sleeping well? Your eye bags are rather defined. Drink more water and sleep a minimum of 8 hours. No less than that.” Was all this necessary? Coming from him you knew it was just Vil being Vil, helping those around him so they could achieve beauty just like him, but in their own ways, and he was good at it.

“Moisturizer. I’d hope I don’t have to explain this.” He dots some around your face before he moves on to squirting some sunscreen and rubbing it in.

“Done. Did you mention something for your hair as well? At least from what Rook had interpreted your story to say…”

“Actually, no! Haha, just skincare, I gotta go, but uh, thank you?” You quickly interject.

“I see. Take these products then, and come back to me when they empty. Stay on top of your skincare or I will find you myself and remind you of the importance with a lecture.” He smiles, though his reminder is enough to get anybody to not think twice about it. He pushes the little basket of products into your hands.

“Of course! I’m just— I’m gonna go. Ok, bye.” You stand up quickly and you leave his room. Your skin is now soft and bouncy, revitalized, but that doesn’t really change anything about your predicament.

“Prefect!” Epel shouts from behind. You turn around and look at him.

“Hey…”

“The hell happened to you? Oh. Another Victim of Vil’s…you’ll get used to it.” He sighs, nodding along to say he understands. “I just wanna ask you about that jar you made! You think you can make any others like it…but you know, with different effects and in a different container? I’d like to carry one on me for a spell drive game…I tired to do that and I opened the bottle you gave—“

“You opened it?” You tilt your head.

“Yea? I was just gonna try and put the contents into a little baggie but…it stopped working. I dunno what you had set in place on that.” He purses his lips, moving his hands behind his back and smiling again. “I dunno…I’d just…like another one. It was a really helpful thing to have on hand!”

“Epel…it doesn’t work anymore because you broke the wax seal, and another possibility is that…” your voice drops down to a whisper as you think, “I didn’t put much intention into the jars to last for more than just a few days…”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Yea, just don’t break the wax seal is all…” you clear your throat.

“Why’s that, though?”

Why does everybody have to question you anymore? “It kinda…how to word it? Gets rid of the effects?” That’s barely any information on it, but it sounds plausible.

“Huh, ok then. Can you make me another then?”

“I’ll think about it.” You nod. Epel gives you a happy closed eye grin and nods.

“Thanks!” His face almost instantly contorts to some sort of evil look and he smirks, chuckling as he narrows his eyes. “If I get that then I’ll beat them RSA suckers next time we play em! I can’t wait to see the look on their faces, and I’d get MVP of the game.” He snickers to himself. Ok, buddy, have fun with that.

You nod one last time and you finally, finally leave. Second times a charm for the botanical gardens, maybe?

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With the basket resting in the crook of your elbow as you walk, not had having enough time nor care to drop it off at Ramshackle, you head back to the gardens, back down the paths, back to row R, and back to the damn rosemary plant. You crouch down and you pick off a branch or two and stuff it into the satchel, worrying about processing it all later. Now to section L, and lo and behold, in the middle a tall laurel tree, but fate throwing more problems at you and most likely dying of laughter as it watches you suffer, ironically enough, another thing beginning with the letter L is also there, but it’s not a plant.

Leona and his “clever” sleeping spots never fail to surprise anybody. Tiptoeing around him wasn’t an option, cause he’d hear you, and he’s kinda in your way of climbing up and shaking down a few leaves. Whatever, you’re not letting anything else get in your way now, and especially not for one of the most prominent ingredients you needed. Bay leaves, also widely known to be as equivalently lucky to a shooting star, make a wish upon a bay leaf then burn it, and give it back to nature after. You were gonna use it for its protective properties, however.

You walk up to the thick base of the tree and kick against the side of it, the action causing Leona’s ears to flick and his tail to twitch as he cracks open one of his eyes to, oh so nicely, glare at you.

“What.” He murmurs gruffly, definitely irritated already.

“For one, hello to you two, and secondly, since you’re like already kinda perched up there…get me some leaves off the tree…I need them for uh…cooking.”

“Just go to Sam’s shop and buy some.” He yawns, turning away from you to face the other direction. “They’d be better anyways…already dried out, too…”

“That’s…bro you know I’m fucking broke and can’t spend my money on that, so can’t you do a nice thing for me? I’ll climb up there myself and step on you, so choose the better option…” you meet him back with the same attitude.

“You’re annoying today, huh?” He scoffs as his tail gives a warning flick, but he sits up and glares at you as he grabs his pen and uses his magic to send down—

And now there’s leaves everywhere. He smirks and he slips the pen away and gets back into a comfortable position, falling asleep again almost instantly and leaving you alone to look at the mess of leaves and branches on the ground. Whatever, this still works…you grab what you need and flip him off as you walk away, even if he can’t see.

You manage to gather the other things you need without too much trouble, then being the easier items such as the lavender and sage, easy and not that questionable. Students gave you many quick glances and eager hushed whispers as they watched you “rob,” which technically in this case could be considered borrowing, from the plants. But honestly, who cares, so long as people don’t know your main secret, all you have to say to them is: Fuck em! You don’t have any more left to give today…

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Hammer in hand you drive a nail into the wood on the outside of Ramshackle. The makeshift stool you’re standing on is…well, not super stable, but it gets the job done. You hang the horseshoe you got just a day ago right above the door in the middle, and of course you cleansed it before you hung it up, it’s just basic protocol anymore from being so on edge.

“Well, let’s see those readings come true now thanks to this bad boy hanging up above my door! I think this is the first time I’ve been happy in a while—“

“Henchhuman, why’re ya talking to yourself, and what are you hanging up?” Grim pipes up as he looks up at you…but it’s also not just him. Ace and Deuce stand behind him, looking up at you as well, clearly a thing or two on their mind that they want to say to you.

“You guys weren’t supposed to be back for like another 10 minutes…”

“But here we are.” Grim sighs.

“This,” you say as you motion to the horseshoe, “cultural thing. That’s what this is, don’t ask anymore questions. Shut up!” You spit out as you step down, looking up at your handiwork. Ace lets out a puff of air and stalks closer to you, looking up at the odd thing.

“We didn’t say anything though—“

“I’m just saying don’t ask. I wanted a…touch of home from back home, exactly. Thanks for bringing Grim back, now byeeee, I’m busy.” You pick up the stool and heave it back inside, Grim shrugging to the two boys and following along behind you.

“So, what happened today?” You question him as you walk into the lounge and head over to the mantel, checking over a few things and dusting away a thin layer of dust that somehow already was managing to form.

“They just complained the whole time about those jars ya made, said they stopped working, and then they did a deep dive as to how they even worked…it was a painful conversation I had to sit through, and no compensation or payment of tuna, either!”

Huh? Deep dived into the topic?

“What did they say about how the jars worked?” You slow down in your movements and peer over your shoulder towards Grim who was laying lazily on the couch.

“Dunno, tuned em out, but they said some stupid thing that you had a student enchant it, but they’re dumb cause I didn’t trace a single bit of magic on em. Then they went off that and started saying you enchanted it yourself, which couldn’t be possible since you didn’t have magic. I told em that.” He hums.

“And…they believed you?” You murmur as you walk over to the couch and sit down. “I mean…I don’t have magic…”

“They’re iffy about it, said they don’t know your world so they don’t know what actually goes on there or what you know. They’re just big doofuses…anyways, I need tuna, I’m hungry.” He hoists himself up and goes into the kitchen.

He stops midway and turns to you again, “oh, and Ace went around mouthing away to people about everything again.” And then he goes off.

That’s a lot of information in one go, and in such a nonchalant way, as well. The black cat…gossip, and if you really look into all the things that happened today, the umbrella, difficulty while you were trying to get the simple shit you needed for a protection spell. Yea…

Ok, distraction time, you know an easy way to be protected, you just have to get a little creative. You get up and grab one of your notebooks before heading upstairs.

Incense is lit and you take a seat in the armchair and begin to draw out a circle and label it with letters going around the perimeter. You write down the words “Strong Protection,” crossing out vowels and repeating letters, being left with “Strngptc” as your jumble of letters. Back to the circle, you draw lines and curves from each letter, making a simplified sigil. It’s still a sigil and will work how you intended it since intention is key. You move on to another group of words, just for a boost of confidence to hopefully hide any evidence of stress, you write down “Beauty and Rejuvenation.” Easier said than done.

You slap these sigils onto the skincare package Vil gave you and go through every step in order that he had applied all the products to your skin. Wash, uh, toner, serum, eye cream, yea? Whatever, then moisturizer and then look in the mirror and— well damn.

You certainly looked a lot better now, and felt a sense of calm. Even after what Vil had done for you just hours earlier, you honestly thought that looked good and helped out just a tiny bit, but you just amplified the products by like 50% and also while adding in the bonus of protection…it’s like you’re a whole new person…glamour magic is no joke, huh? You’ve outdone yourself, props to you.

That’s probably enough worrying for one day…at least for now that is. Maybe distracting yourself isn’t the best way to deal with problems.

…idk where I was going with this one, I’m getting of track a little, I fear…this was kinda just plot progression and a lot of filler shit and also a way for me to mention Pomefiore…all dorms will have their major moments, like Octavinelle in the second part…I just need to find motivation to do it 👍

THANKS FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY WRITING, LOVELIES <3

Again, if you wanna be tagged just ask!

Master List

Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!

Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)

Tag list <3:

@w0nd3rhoy

@biumg-ie

[oh-no-its-bird]

your uchiha houhua au is living in my brain rent free....im sleep deprived today bc i was reading/thinking about it late last night lol, its so good!!

after the massacre he would essentially be sasuke's guardian, right? maybe not officially but still, he'd be in charge of sasuke as the only older family around? idk if he'd be a GOOD guardian but i can see his paranoid ass just always handing sasuke more weapons and money, just in case

i need to know more about sasuke finding out about houhua and itachi's thing for each other!! and does sasuke still end up going to orochimaru in this au?

YEAHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT !!! Uchiha Houhua remains one of The Favorites(tm) I really need to finish writing chapter 1, I'm like. So so close. So close.

I also need to update my tumblr vault fic with all the more recent Houhua au posts, since theres been a good amount of new content, but I'm putting it off till I'm done writing chapter 1 for the actual fic

No but I'm honored it could take up space in ur brain !!

YES! After the massacre, Houhua basically becomes Sasuke's officially unofficial guardian. There's no real paperwork for it done, but like, they really only have eachother

Sasuke flocks to him as the only other Uchiha, and Houhua takes him in both out of pity + not wanting him to be alone, and also partially because he knows Sasuke is a main character and his survival heavily depends on sticking close to main characters in the hopes that it'll help bump his character importance points

Houhua and Sasuke are stupidly rich now just because all of the Uchiha belongings and funds are theirs now.

There's a bit of trickiness bc technically, most of it should go specifically to Sasuke (as he's now default clan heir, though that isn't exactly worth much now) but Houhua is older than him

Houhua will probably end up splitting things between them, and Sasuke will trust him enough to do it (+ be too young to really realize that's something as important as it really is)

I think in canon, and lot of Uchiha shit got stolen or went ""missing"" in their death, mostly bc Sasuke... wouldn't know what to watch out for / prevent people from trying to take. But with Houhua here, it's going to be way hard for anyone to do any sort of grave robbing

Houhua is absoloutley gonna be taking inventory and his past life's experience means he knows to be on guard for people looting the compound when he's not looking !! There might even be some fun drama w that in the future ,,,

Houhua is stuffing weapons and money into Sasuke's pockets, very much fussing over him every chance he gets.

(Because Sasuke is his meal ticket!! He insists to himself, going out of his way to demolish anyone who looks at Sasuke even a little bit funny)

I honestly think Houhua would make for a good guardian for Sasuke overall, tho he'd for sure have his faults. The key word here is 'guardian', not anything like a father— Sasuke is gonna end up seeing Houhua as his (new, better, real) big brother over shitty Itachi over there

Houhua, as Shang Qinghua, lived to be very old (for a human, not for a cultivator) and had a hand in raising and training many disciples.

I like to reference Pride Is Not The Word I'm Looking For (aka the single best Shang Qinghua fic of all time) for my characterization for him, so he's like. Genuinley a good teacher and uncle, when he tries to be. He is just also burdened with crippling self doubt and likes to insist that every nice thing he does is canceled out by his own selfish reasoning behind doing those nice things

In Naruto world especially, filled with shitty murderous parents and a government that churns out murder babies, I think Houhua will be winning awards in his own parenting skills

Then there's also the fact that Houhua did know and interact with Sasuke before the massacre, just not too often. He was Itachi's weird cry baby friend, he'd hang out with him sometime

They just were never really close, and never really got to interact 1 on 1 for long— till, ofc, the massacre happens, and now Sasuke is latching on to Houhua and hyperventalating if anyone so much as looks like they're going to try and separate them

Houhua's existence as a whole allows Sasuke to be a lot more vulnerable, both because he is not "the last Uchiha" and also because Houhua will no doubt try to piggy back off of his revenge quest or even try to steal it entirely (to try and become a more important character, he insists to himself)

So Sasuke is just. Nowhere near as alone as before. And Houhua's own relationship with Itachi helps Sasuke believe Houhua might get it... more than other people, at least.

Ofc, there's also conflict in Sasuke maybe not thinking Houhua gets it "enough", or like Sasuke himself does, because Sasuke was, ofc, Itachi's little brother.

^ I think that would inevitably come in to play later, when Sasuke realizes Itachi and Houhua might have feelings for eachother. Sasuke would be so fucking hurt and feel so fucking betrayed, believing that maybe Houhua never "got it" to begin with

Things get even more complicated depending on when Sasuke learns this tho, because eventually Houhua is going to share his suspicions about the massacre being not as simple as it looked. So Sasuke's own feelings on Itachi are gonna go on a roller coaster of their own, trying to figure out if he himself can or should forgive his brother or no

Its all just a mess tbh, I love to see it

I HONESTLY DUNNO IF SASUKE WILL GO WITH OROCHIMARU OR NOT !! On one hand, mmmayybe ,,,, if he does, Houhua will go with him, full stop.

But there's also a chance that Houhua might try to take his place too! And he and Orochimaru are inevitably going to interact eventually, bc I have plans ,,,

(I mentioned it in another post, but if Houhua ever shares about the system and his past life with literally anyone, I would choose Orochimaru to find out. I think I could get the most milage out of him, and Orochimaru would absoloutley try to hack into the system for immortality and power or some shit)

I think whatever route I go with w Orochimaru will just depend on what I'm feeling when I get to that point in writing the fic. We will have to see where the story naturally leads me, you know? All of the options are so good, so it's hard to choose

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASK !!! I love Houhua au so much, I think its so much fun. Ur ask actually reminded me I really have to keep writing chapter 1, so this has kind of spurred me on to go do that

Hopefully I finish and post it soon!

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (My Struggle IV), Part X

We're here.

We're finally here.

My Struggle IV.

I've got my snack, I've got the snark on tap, and I encourage you to buckle in. This is gonna be an exercise in tearing apart a piece of garbage as entertainingly as possible.

THE OPENER

"Previously on The X-Files"-- OH, we're opening on Chris Carter, now are we???

This is gonna be a doozy.

Skipping past the entire rehashed monologue: Scully says, "Mulder, William is the key"; and I'd just like to rip a handy dandy little list from this excellent post that tears the later mytharc apart quite succinctly and emotionlessly:

Sveta is also referred to as the “key to everything” in “My Struggle.” Gibson Praise is referred to as the key to everything in “The End.” Cassandra Spender is referred to as the key to everything in “Two Fathers.” The alien artifact from “Biogenesis” was said to “hold everything.” The spacecraft from that same “Biogenesis” arc is referred to as the key to everything in “The Sixth Extinction,” and so was Shannon McMahon in “Nothing Important Happened Today II.”

So, pardon me if my breadth of belief has been sharply narrowed over The X-Files's tenure. Pardon me further if I happen to take CC at his word and believe there is no plan to this show; and pardon me even further if I dare to suggest all of this-- the mytharc past Season 8 (which made sense in a limited capacity until Season 9 blew it...), the continual renewal of a dying franchise, the random plots and threads thrown at walls without justification and very little reason-- is not only a failed attempt at intellectual justification of its egotistical creator but also a failed negotiation with the audience and studios to finally, finally get that movie franchise Carter was lobbying for since Fight the Future first aired.

And spare me the narrow-minded and small-hearted blame that is often tossed at fans for not "getting" what Chris Carter was going for. No one can get inside another's head, translate that madness, and coherently put it to paper (except Frank Spotnitz, apparently.) That's the writer's job. It's also the writer's job to make us believe in the events that unfold: artistic merit and expression aside, that artist is still trying to sell his wares to people-- ordinary people that work 9-to-5s, 40 hours a week, and could spend their money on another artist's project that more consciously and masterfully weaves together a world and its expression. That's not a knock against any artist's vision-- that's a knock against their expectation that you should like this, without criticism, because I made it.

So before we even begin, let me address the writer(s, for they are all involved) directly: woo me with your words. Regale me with your presentation. Win me to your side with convincing arguments. Charm me with your magic. But do not expect me to abandon reason for madness, no matter how prettily it's packaged.

MY STRUGGLE IV

OH, LOOK, it's Jackson's struggle: Struggle I was Mulder's, Struggle II was Scully's, Struggle III was CSM's, Struggle IV was William's.

So, in total: Chris Carter "planned" (despite pivoting that plan ideologically between My Struggle II-- post here-- and My Struggle III-- post here-- four mytharc tie-ins but... decided not to put any work, thought, intent, or consistency into it other than--

Restructuring the mytharc in order to take significant jabs at (and slide around like a velcro snake in) modern politics;

Breaking up the leads for shock value and unresolved-resolved sexual tension;

Creating a pathetic though pitiable disappointment in their son so we the viewers will let Jackson go, as his plotline now become irrelevant-- and was never considered, seriously, in the first three parts.

I'm sure this will be lovely.

William is connected to Scully... but we're told in My Struggle III that he is reaching out to protect and help his parents, assuring them he won't be caught by the Syndicate... only to have that message directly contradicted in Ghoulie when Jackson is revealed to be an ordinary, out-of-his-depth teenager who has no idea who Scully is, what his role to play is (with any clarity), and that he did or didn't have powers growing up that did or didn't manifest really until recently. And if that confusion isn't confusing enough, he isn't Mulder's son: he is, as Skinner believes, CSM's.

I guess CSM always fathers losers, then (Mulder always losing to the Syndicate, according to latter canon; Jeffrey getting shot in the head then disfigured then nearly killed then on-the-run over the course of his life; William being a mostly powerless philanderer.)

Oh, yes: William is a man with two girlfriends probably because his birth father (CSM)-- according to Revival canon-- is a womanizer, too. Since Mulder has no game and Scully has no game-- we can assume this was CC's intention, since he kept both in a holding pattern for nearly seven years-- and CSM seems to have bedded, or wished to, every woman he came across-- according to Chris Carter's own lore-- that only points to one ugly conclusion. A conclusion which Carter seems to have eased the breaks on in recent years, justifying that William shares mitochondrial DNA with his "father" (Mulder) and his father's father (CSM)... which, scientific inaccuracy (and impossibility, as mitochondrial is traced through the maternal, not paternal, line), is not only a crock of nonsense according to Scully's fertility timeline (established in Per Manum) but also becomes layers and layers of greasier grossness. In short: CC's inability to own up to his failures makes his work-- and him by proxy-- look like the sleaziest, slimiest, most perverted mind in the business; and his appalled "no, you" deflections only make him look worse. And while it's true he truly didn't mean to achieve these levels of toxic intent, his roughshod writing and inability to take an L have doubled back on him two-fold.

As Jackson Van de Kamp continues to narrate, I'd like to break it down in chunks:

William's childhood is a retelling of Ghoulie which is a retelling of My Struggle III which is a retelling of William: in Ghoulie, Jackson's therapist states he'd been signed up for her sessions very recently because his new symptoms were troubling to the Van de Kamp family. The therapist (and his parents, most likely) diagnosed him as schizophrenic; but shortly thereafter, Jackson realized the extent of his powers and played a prank on his two girlfriends (who did not know about each other, and who he still yanked around even after both were hospitalized. Stellar kid.)

In one breath he states that he had a "happy childhood" while in another acknowledges his use and abuse of his powers in anger-- to throw a fit in front of his parents, to gain attention from his classmates, to put a bully in the hospital after their fight was broken up. All of these points are to make us, the audience, realize Jackson is a danger: someone who needs to figure himself out and will only bring havoc and chaos into Mulder and Scully's life-- a cheap way, in short, to make up dislike William and back up Scully's decision to disown him. Not only is this lazy because it doesn't honestly address the life Jackson had to have led to make him act out on impulse with those behaviors, but it simply dumps a ton of information on the viewers for us to swallow blindly, accept, and regurgitate as "what little psychopaths with powers are like."

Spot the difference between young Jackson and Goob from Meet the Robinsons (both adoptive kids with developing victims' complexes):

As he states flippantly, "And I, uh... just became a criminal."

The obvious conclusion we're supposed to ignore is that some teenagers are just jerks pumped full of hormones, and that handing that kid the equivalent of a biological weapon will cause them to feel superior, ostracized, and alone.

The meta conclusion we're also supposed to ignore is that two of-the-earth farm folks somehow messed up so badly while raising a child they always wanted that he now feels entitled and selfish to whatever cheap tricks, maneuvers, and pain he has to inflict to get his way. And that is not only a moral failing on them but also on Mulder and Scully, who the show continually reminds us loved and wanted William but gave him up.

The second meta conclusion we're supposed to ignore is that Mulder and Scully's failings don't end there: their genes somehow created the worst possible human. Or William became the pseudo-monster that he is (as the writers doubled-down on in this episode) because he shares genetic markers with the CSM-- despite both of Spender's sons turning out morally and ethically better than their father (setting aside my quibbles with Mulder's paternity, etc.)

"So I was sent away to a school for bad kids-- devastated my parents, but I couldn't help myself. ...I'd talk to psychologists and tell them what they wanted to hear."

Really.

Really now.

Not only do I not accept this excuse in-canon, I don't accept it on a meta level. Jackson's actions are shown to be deliberate and malicious, repeatedly. When he talks to the assigned therapists in his flashbacks, he's manipulatively vulnerable on the outside; cocky, self-assured, and completely detached from the consequence of his behavior on the inside. Superior. Grandstanding in an ego-driven teenager way. To quote Mulder, "Boggs does it because he likes it."

A shame that William became the men his father was taught to hunt in the BSU. In another universe, Mulder could have made his career as the VCU's Golden Boy had he tracked down and locked up his own son, instead.

Also: psychologists who are well-trained will be able to spot a faker dead-to-rights. And perhaps this sequence could serve as commentary for the lacking mental health services in Outback, Wyoming but I doubt, highly, that that was the writers' intention.

"I was smart-- I didn't make any mistakes until I played a stupid joke on these two girls."

WOW. The minimization. "Didn't make any mistakes"-- like an act of violence-- "because I was smart"-- code red thought pattern right there-- "until I played a stupid joke"-- oh, so it's not JUST a joke, it's a stupid joke; which makes everything better, I'm sure-- "on these two girls"-- OH, "these two girls" as if they were nobodies, as if they weren't your betrayed and terrified girlfriends who didn't know about each other, nor the fact that you were having a relationship with both. behind each other's Got it.

How's he a normal teenager again? Further: how's he a pitiable character again?

He isn't. And that was the point.

Stack up Jackson's raw dialogue next to CSM's My Struggle III pity party and you'll start to see how much well poisoning CC was committing to justify his rushed, hack job ending.

Jackson already believes he's CSM's son. ...And canon is backing that up because William Redux was given visions that connected him to each biological parent: Scully and CSM.

If you accept the Revival as canon, William's paternity is lumped in there, too. At no point in-canon does Jackson come to see Mulder as his father, and at no point in-canon does he seem to give him a sense of loyalty or love.

Further: Mulder is made into a buffoon-- a chump. He embraces a son that isn't his, who he loves; and one who not only rejects him and tricks him into believing he's dead, but one who doesn't tell him "You're not my dad-- CSM is" honestly. Further further: we know Mulder would love him, regardless; but Jackson, little William all grown up, doesn't seem to care.

Even further: Mulder is given three moments to connect with his son in this show-- dreaming about a life with him and clutching his picture in Founder's Mutation (an episode not written by CC) and holding him once more in My Struggle IV (albeit briefly)-- only to be rejected. William played baseball in Ghoulie, but only Scully is allowed to mourn him. Jackson "dies" before his eyes in MSIV, but Mulder's anguish is reduced to his identity as a father and brushed aside by Scully's insistence that Jackson wasn't theirs and should be forgotten.

As much as Scully is reduced to an inactive participant in My Struggle IV, Mulder's role as a father is cast-off-- despite his alleged depression, despite Duchovny's on-screen anguish-- and he is not allowed to express his seventeen years of buried-deep pain... and when he does, Scully tells him he's wrong.

The writing destroys them both:

Scully is over-emotional: given to outbursts and chaotic gun-jumping to prevent herself from living with more pain. She becomes an agent of the plot, twisting about according to its whims, without mitigating her own overreactions with logic and coherent thought.

Mulder is denied emotion: burying it down and being blamed for his deflection with unnecessary lines in the sand, being diagnosed with unexplained (and wrongful, post here) depression, and aggressively and irrationally insisting on charging head-long into danger without checkmating his impulses with Scully's level-headed advice.

Both are reduced to caricatures: depressed parents who lost their child, who drifted away from each other, who only connect over their son or the empty place his absence leaves in their life; and only offered a reprieve via comedic bits (i.e. a Darin Morgan script) or a thigh squeeze and bed cuddle here or there.

Both are stripped of their agency. Mulder knew 2012 Colonization wouldn't happen before 2012 arrived (according to My Struggle I) yet fell into a depression tied to... what, exactly... sometime after. Scully left her partner after he sank into depression while spouting she was afraid it would get worse (according to My Struggle I)... which means she left before it got bad. Mulder and Scully share a thigh squeeze in My Struggle III but only get in bed together again to (accidentally) create a baby in the St. Rachel (a patron saint of older mothers) Motel. Scully expresses concern in finding her son until the plot says "no"; then expresses concern again when the plot says "yes." Mulder expresses no immediate concern in finding his son until Scully says "yes", and loses that concern when Scully says "no."

CSM is the only character to keep to the same idea, consistently, the entire mythology. And while that is befitting for a villain that never grows or changes, it also reflects catastrophically on the two main leads who yo-yo back and forth with their characterization, agency, consistency, impulses, motivations, goals, hopes, and fears.

It's... sad-- a destruction of the legacy and hard work, talent, imagination, and sheer grit of an entire team of dedicated, loyal, and hardworking people that breathed life into the original series.

A teaser for CSM's slaying of "Mulder."

Opening credits.

Depressing.

Oh, the episode starts here, with Mulder finding Jackson? ...Didn't expect that, not mad about it.

Mulder just tells this random stranger that the boy is not a criminal, "he's my son."

Why?

That's just brutal, man. Mulder believes he's going to see baby William all grown up; and we, the audience, have just watched an opening segment detailing how Jackson believes (as CC wants us to believe) that CSM is his father-- that he doesn't even know Mulder. That's... how mean-spirited.

Chris Carter's a slow burn angst writer, we all know this. But.... Mulder was done so dirty here.

And Scully-- let's not forget she's barely in this episode. But if she had to be in it just to suffer more angst... I don't know, do I want her here? At the same time, she's told about William's paternity off-screen (by Skinner); and that's inexcusably lazy. WHY DIDN'T THEY HAVE A NEAR-END SCENE, ALA REQUIEM, WHERE THE TWO TALK ABOUT WILLIAM'S PATERNITY THEN-- THE PRESENT RHYMING WITH THE PAST????? That's in CC"s wheelhouse, WHY.

Kersh being angry at Mulder being on the internet... I DON'T care.

I will say: yes, that would get under an employer's skin if they're mouthing off on a known conspiracy theorist's show-- couldn't have happened without consequences (rightly or wrongly) in 2018. But also... WHY wouldn't Kersh just call Mulder in and breathe fire down his neck. Why is he spewing at Skinner, of all people?

Kersh "I'm shutting down The X-Files. I want Mulder and Scully's badges."

That... wouldn't happen. If anything, Mulder would be put on leave, not fired (to save face for the government)-- perhaps even softly fired (read: retired.) This reaction? This late in the game? Nah. Toothless.

Kersh acting irrationally and unreasonably-- "I don't care if it is true, that's someone else's problem"-- is also a butchering of his established character. So, add that to the list.

The camera work and patchwork editing is so bad in this show, wow. Lipstick on a pig; and lipstick you have to stare at every day as the pig whines and squeals in inexhaustible, incorrigible levels for breakfast, lunch, and supper.

Scully's bad voice is back, WHY. GILLIAN, whyyyyyyyyyyy. You had a good mix in My Struggle II and My Struggle III.

My only explanation at this point is Scully took up stress smoking when on the run, off-and-off post IWTB, full-time during the breakup, and off-and-on again during the Revival. That's it.

SKINNER'S BEING PRECIOUS NOW ABOUT MULDER'S BEHAVIOR WHEN HE AND WILLIAM ARE IN DANGER AND BEING PURSUED.

SO, SKINNER IS WILLING TO SIT BACK, TAKE KERSH'S GUFF, AND REAM OUT MULDER AND SCULLY FOR MULDER'S WORDS (and figure out a way to keep their jobs, probably by licking a few boots) INSTEAD OF HELPING MULDER, WHO IS ON THE RUN WITH WILLIAM.

SO, SKINNER THINKS WILLIAM SHOULD GET CAUGHT, ESSENTIALLY, BY THE CSM-- who, by the way, he took a call from right before Scully came to ask for help; and who, by the way, told him the plague might all go away if he got his hands on "the boy"-- because he's not Mulder's son, anyway. AND IF YOU TAKE OFF YOUR GLASSES AND SQUINT AND ONLY FOCUS ON YOUR RETIREMENT FUND, THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S SCULLY'S SON, EITHER, RIGHT, BECAUSE WILLIAM IS NOW CSM'S, RIGHT, AND THAT MEANS HE SHOULD BE DISCARDED, RIGHT????

And Scully, when told off-screen, believes this is sound logic, I guess.

Also, it wasn't Mulder who gave Tad those statements, if was Scully.

1. But Tad gave Mulder the credit.

2. Despite him and Scully always talking.

3. And despite that statement belonging to her.

Real nice of you, Tad.

And Scully doesn't seem bothered, so I guess she's chicken about owning public statements and hid behind Mulder? Or let Tad hide her behind Mulder? Real nice of you, too, Scully.

Oh, look at the sign: I didn't know CC and co. had taken to self-parody, too:

What a talented bunch.

Monica called Mulder and Scully to tell them where William was while CSM was on a smoke break.

That's nice.

Um. This probably won't be nice. it'll probably be a trap that we, the audience, are supposed to be fooled by because Scully just trusts Monica now despite having a vision that Monica was teaming up with the CSM-- and despite the fact that righteous loyalty means everything to her (because she regularly tore Skinner apart during the original run for being a coward or a traitor at sundry times.)

Scully had a sense that Jackson wasn't on the plane. But let Mulder go anyway even though Mulder was looking TO HER to tell him what to do, even though Mulder was trusting HER to have a good counterargument. So, while this doesn't strip Scully of her agency here, it DOES strip her of her character: normal Scully would have assessed the risks, laid out the possibilities, and presented facts combined with her own gut instinct and come to an agreement with Mulder. This Scully doesn't have anything to counter with, and just lets the matter go... even if you or I, sitting wherever we are in the world with our snacks in the midst of reading (back through, for me) my woe-is-me insights, can immediately think of a multitude of dangers and traps right off the top of our heads.

So... Scully has agency-- y'know, before she's tossed aside like a doll for the rest of the episode-- but she's also an idiot. Whereas Mulder has little agency-- and is given the most screen time while being caught-up in the current of other peoples' agendas-- and is also an idiot.

Just.

Lovely.

Not to be that fan who debates Earth 2 theories on a weekend (always going to think of that poke from Blood, thanks CC), but WHY is Scully letting Mulder go ALONE, AGAIN, knowing she's pregnant, when he could be in danger, captured, or killed when she's--again-- PREGNANT. AGAIN. Did she just want to relive Requiem, or...?

10:30 in and... it's ridiculous but not atrocious. Yet.

The least offensive My Struggle thus far.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, the Russian agents who attacked their home in This(?) were sent from Second Syndicate groupies, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (Yes, I did watch the episodes out-of-order.) And here they are again. ...Continuity?

Mulder shoots off a gun outside? Or rigs a gun to go off? Or rigs his car to make noise...? Somehow? And aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the guards run out to run off the intruder. Because of course they do. Which allows Mulder to sneak inside. Because of course it does.

MULDER'S CAUGHT IMMEDIATELY and just turns around and grabs a weapon from the guard's hand while holding said guard in a choke hold which holds off the other guards....?

I don't think that's how that works. I'm not buying it.

Three bullets go off and Mulder, we're shown, ducks into Syndicate Man Y's room.

WAIT, MULDER JUST KILLED ALL THOSE MEN. HE SHOT AT THEM AND THEY DIDN'T SHOOT HIM BACK THE MOMENT HE TOOK ONE OUT??????????

Whoa, whoa, whoa, go back a sec: MULDER. MULDER. KILLED THREE MEN. POINT BLANK. Instead of just backing up with his hostage, which is what he was already doing. Even IF that situation were to happen plausibly, HE KILLED THREE MEN IN COLD BLOOD WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD. THREE MEN WHO WERE ARMED BUT SUBDUED.

Nope, we're back in Earth 2, ladies and gentlemen. GET OUTTA HERE, get out.

MULDER JUST KILLS TWO MORE PEOPLE INCLUDING Y (at least this time in self-defense.) AND ONLY NOW REACTS BECAUSE HE SHOT Y, who he needed information from, WITHOUT THINKING.

There goes your information, BOZO.

One look at the security cams and Mulder's going away for a long time.

I will say: fans could use this as justification that like father, like son when it comes to violence. ...IF ONLY My Struggle IV wasn't breaking pre-established characterization to perhaps, maybe (definitely unintentionally) make that point.

This whole facility only had five guards total? ...Odd (read: lazy writing.)

Jackson's outrunning militia men with twice or three times his experience? When one is right behind him in one shot then further behind in another? (Read: lazy writing.)

At least Scully found some info on the web. She couldn't BE THERE IN PERSON (read: lazy writing), but wherever Mulder ends up is due to her efforts and final conclusions. So... that's something?

Wait, wait, wait, "They found him"????? HOW DID SCULLY KNOW CSM'S GUYS FOUND WILLIAM??????? Did Monica send coordinates or something?????

I'm a little over a fourth of the way through, siiiiiiiiiigh.

Gas station scene was... what was that? Obvious Canadian accent aside, the dialogue was so unnaturally punchy and to-the-point that... again, updated for the modern, punchy audience, I guess. (Read: lazy writing.)

Mulder's car just got tracked, great stuff. Fantastic.

Scully and Mulder's dialogue is SO BAD. SO BAD. (Read: lazy.)

DD's acting is suffering, too: it's not inherently terrible... it's rushed. He is rushed-- more to the point, he is being rushed. WHY? Why rush your principle actors for the finale of your television season, even if you hope there'll be another season to smooth things over then???? IT'S SO LAZY.

I hate how this episode is shot so much.

I hate Mulder's muscle car now. Where did he even get it, why does he even have it, how can he even charge it around the country like a heavy-duty, high-speed monster? Doesn't that wear on the engine? Because I'm lazy I typed in "does speeding a jaguar/mustang cause problems" and Google has informed me that, yes, it does: in fact, it causes safety and performance issues, especially at those maintained higher speeds. So, now I'm expecting Mulder to drift off the road sometime soon and die in a careening mushroom of fire and smoke.

Truck driver trying to give Jackson consolation and good advice: "I've seen it all-- driving can drive you mad." Cut to Mulder BECAUSE THAT'S CLEVER, GUYS. (Read: laaaaaaaaaaazyyyyyyyyyyyyy.)

Truck Driver is supposed to be some sort of wise man who gets Jackson to reflect on his life choices, I suppose? All this time to yourself leads you to get into trouble-- what kind? "The kind you're looking for." And that'd be a cool beat... if it had lingered. Or mattered.

Or, I dunno, if Jackson had started talking to Mulder in disguise (on the same bus, for instance) because he'd been doing some digging or maybe because he'd read some of Scully or CSM's thoughts and saw Mulder prominently featured. And asked him those questions because he needs guidance, and he's alone, and afraid; and his loneliness hopes to find advice or balm from another solitary, lonely soul. And Mulder could have given him sage advice, shown off the wisdom he'd learned: that the Truth is elusive, a fantasy; and that it'll keep driving you to madness and never ending lines. WOULDN'T THAT HAVE BEEN COOL, CHRIS.

It definitely would have given Mulder more to do than DRIVE and ASSASSINATE people (and his character.)

And you know what would have been cooler? If Scully tried to reach out comfortingly to William when he connected with her briefly and that's how he learned bits about Mulder and that's how he knew Mulder was coming after him and that's what made him curious to hitch alongside Mulder and ask him these questions.

Here, I wrote a better episode for Chris Carter (didn't even need the plane tip off or the Second Syndicate segment): could have just had Monica say Jackson was spotted in a localized area and that CSM's men were after him. Then you send over Mulder, have William connect with Scully, have her try to reassure him, have him seek out and hitch a ride around with Mulder (as "Jackson's friend") and "lead" Mulder to "Jackson's" hiding place while probing and prodding him for guidance and advice. Then CSM's men show up, Jackson runs; Mulder finds him again later at a motel, BOOM, SIMPLE.

We see the scene when Scully called Tad-- I don't care-- and didn't put her name to her claims. And said "Agent Mulder's our only hope" because he was out there trying to find William.

Why.

Because Mulder's the big beefy action hero now, of course; which the writers shall swiftly undercut and back down from for the "SURPRISE, THEY'RE HAVING A BAAAAAAAAAABYYYYYY" finale.

Weak. (Read: lazy writing.)

Tad's assistant is named Karen, wow.

Jackson just terrifies a driver who kindly picked him up and kindly gave him advice and kindly tried to help him open up BECAUSE HE DIDN'T BELIEVE JACKSON COULD SHAPE SHIFT. And because Jackson could and felt miffed that he wasn't believed, he did.

BECAUSE JACKSON'S A PSYCHOPATHIC MONSTER.

Chris Carter, what are you DOING.

Mulder completely passes the truck then goes back to see what happened-- which is in line with his character, sure I guess.

Jackson gets a vision of the future about "Mulder's" death, which means he will finally live up to his destiny and stop being a meanie, guys, and save Mulder's life-- which is supposed to be a redemption arc. Except it's undercut by completely selfish reasons: he needs to "die" so he'll stop being chased... and also, the finale's confrontation turns out to be a happenstance misunderstanding. Great stuff.

He'll be all happy, too, when Scully says to leave him alone. Mark my words.

MULDER IGNORES SCULLY'S WARNING. COMPLETELY. Looks like we're back on Earth 2, again.

"You're not listening to me," Scully begs./"You're not listening to ME," Mulder insists; and I do Not CAAAAAAAAAARE.

"I've seen how it ends, Mulder" means NOTHING, SCULLY, there is no SUBSTANCE, SCULLY, use your words, SCULLY.

STOP BEING AN IDIOT, MULDER, YOU WERE NEVER THIS STUPID, MULDER, GO ON THE DOWN-LOW IF YOU WON'T TURN BACK, MULDER.

CHECK FOR FOLLOWERS, MULDER.

CSM's dude found Jackson, of course.

I don't even want to THINK about the travel logistics in this episode.

Also: look, man, I'm sorry, Jackson isn't Mulder and Scully's son. You know who he SHOULD have been? A Project baby ala Emily Sim. It would explain Scully's visions. You know what, who cares, let's go there: I'd rather William had never existed than see him turned into THIS. Let's be real: he's sadistic. He's not a wayward teenager, he takes gruesome delight in using and frightening well-meaning people for his gain. He was raised right, taught to act right, and disappointed those parents (and by proxy caused their deaths) through his own choices.

You can argue "this is Chris Crust's episode and we should ignore what he says", but THIS is William, too: an unadulterated, unfiltered, unbuffered look at how Carter envisions William after his adoption, with his powers in tact. We as a fandom can point out the damage and flaws and stupid mistakes to the conception timeline, but William is a psychopath no matter how you slice it. He could chose to be an ethical one, he could choose to be a pity party one, or he could chose to be a sadistic one. The point stands... is this who you would consider to be Mulder and Scully's son, no matter how much Morgan tried to soften the blow in Ghoulie?

Oh, look, there's West Duchovny. She did just fine, good chops. I can see her finding her niche and excelling in it. Thumbs up.

Also: I don't care about Jackson's old girlfriends... but he immediately shows up and starts emotionally manipulating Girl A, and IMMEDIATELY puts down his ex's sister-- "You're up past your bedtime"-- because she calls him out on his behavior. AND GOOD FOR YOU, WEST'S CHARACTER, YOU STOOD UP FOR YOURSELF AND REFUSED TO STEP DOWN, simply nodding while sweetly "you can't bully me" smiling. GO, GIRL.

So. Jackson's not only a psychopathic manipulator, he's also a tad abusive and controlling. Just... just a lovely combination.

Also, also: Mulder found the other ex and is questioning her. So, like father, like son; except, like mitochondrial brother-father, like mitochondrial brother-son.

OH. So they aren't even his exes. Or one of them isn't, at least.

So he's a liar, a coward, a manipulator, a psychopath, AND resource-using bum. Fantastic.

And Girl B seems to know he has two girlfriends, seems sad about it, but... lets it be. Girlie deserves better.

"I can't believe you, Sarah," says Girl A's sister (West) and honestly she's 100% correct.

Jackson is giving himself a pity party because he's on the run from the people who killed his parents AND YET won't go to the two agents who he knows want to help him because....

Because then he wouldn't get to live with the excuses he does now.

Sarah is too emotionally tied to her cute, freak monster man and not in a cute Tumblr way.

NOW JACKSON IS THREATENING, in effect, SUICIDE AND HOLDING OUT THE CARROT THAT HE WON'T KILL HIMSELF IF SARAH COMES WITH HIM. TO WHERE AND FOR WHAT.

And when Sarah turns him down-- "I can't"-- he pushes past her "no" by immediately bartering for them to live a nice life on their own terms because he has "money."

There is no excuse for this, at all. None of these behaviors mark Jackson as a good person, none of them mark him as a dumb teenager in trouble, none of them mark him as a troubled soul who is forced into the situation he's in and just wants to be free. ALL of his behaviors expose him as a selfish, self-righteous, angry, egotistical, psychopathic, self-centered little narcissist. A little black-souled humanoid who will do and say the things he needs to to get his way-- being kind to Scully because she cried over him (a stroke to his vanity and ego), being kind to his girlfriends in order to string them along for free food and housing (self-serving and self-centered cash-ins) and vulnerably crying and admitting suicidal thoughts to Sarah (a diabolically manipulative tactic to not feel so alone in his self-imposed exile.)

Insane.

I'm calling him "Little Riverdale Psychopath", LRP, from now on.

Mulder shows up, "West gets a little meta "I don't believe you're his father" (and honestly? Wish Mulder and Scully had had a kid with her sense and "prove it to me but I'll listen" instincts and good manners. OH, WELL, I GUESS.)

Plot, who cares.

Mulder shows up at the hotel; and answers LRP's direct, "Who is it?" with an equally direct, "I'm your father." Go, Mulder. (...If only this wasn't Earth 2 Mulder.)

Mulder delivers his infamous, "You're taller than me. I held you when you were a baby"... and BOY does that moment fly past quick: three seconds later, Little Riverdale Psychopath says, "Okay, maybe you did but I don't remember that" and Mulder the NPC draws back to dole out expositional dialogue. WELP, MOMENT OVER, I GUESS.

THE DIALOGUE IS SO BAD even David Duchovny's letting me down. It cuts from Mulder's genuine emotion to Little Riverdale Psychopath's reaction to Duchovny's suddenly flat, emotionless, and disconnected expression-- who then, without warning or precursor, yells, "I can PROTECT YOU if you trust me!"

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM.

WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BOY.

WHO directed him to do that and WHO said that was the best take and WHO even wrote this dialogue to begin with-- oh, wait.

The entire thing feels so stitched together, with no seamless transition between takes; and the disconnect is even more pronounced because the editor chose the WORST takes to stitch together in the cutting room. WHY.

Firstly, LRP tries to point out that Mulder doesn't share the same visions that he and CSM do (without mentioning CSM) but Mulder doesn't get it. Secondly, CC is trying to soften LRP up here so we'll see he's a scawed widdle boi deep down, see, he did these things because he's just pwotecting himself, guys.

I don't buy it. It's just more evidence of how BADLY Chris Carter's writing has devolved. What happened, Chris, did you just not care, was this all flash so you could delve into substance in yet another season in yet another hopeful bid to FINALLY get the movie franchise you so desperately wanted? How many more seasons will it take before you accept that you're not getting any closer to your dream because you won't put your all into the opportunities you have right in front of your face? How are they less valuable, less deserving of your time and attention, of your care and abilities, just because they're not what YOU deem to be enough? What is enough, and when will you have enough before you have to face yourself and your failures in the mirror? Never enough? Always on the move, always driving towards that elusive Truth, Chris? Always following never-ending lines that lead you ultimately nowhere?

When will it end, Chris Carter? Can you not bear the fact that it will, that it has? That it's over?

MULDER, like an idiot, DOESN'T LISTEN TO LRP'S WARNING AND JUST OPENS THE DOORS SO THE MILITIA CAN COME THROUGH. Proving immediately that LRP CAN'T rely OR trust him. Wow.

What happened to the Mulder that took his cues from the paranormal participants around him, that sensed when danger was closing in because he paid attention to the signs no one else did? What happened to Earth 1 Mulder? Can I exchange this idiot for $2, at least?

FOR A SPLIT SECOND, Little Riverdale Psychopath contemplated killing Mulder; then decided to leave well enough alone.

Wow.

Can he stay dead in the water? For me, as a treat? No, not a treat-- as a deserving award.

(Hey, I forgot to eat my snack and provide commentary on it. But there's still 14:44 minutes left, and if I start now it might be done before the ending. Do I save it for afterward, or chance it now...?)

Mulder the Buffoon lost LPR again.

Back to present: Skinner post-Kersh reaming.

Scully gets a call, and is told Mulder lost Little Riverdale Psychopath.

MULDER FAILED YOU GUYS, GET IT. So he calls Scully and mourns his failure and Scully insists on coming down because, "He'll listen to me." Scully gets another check mark on her agency tab BUT AT THE COST OF HER AND MULDER'S CHARACTER. WHY wasn't she there to begin with?

And here's the truth, the truest truth of all: Scully's not there-- NOT because she's a woman, NOT because she's a mother, NOT because she's pregnant-- because if she were there, William WOULDN'T have run away, Mulder WOULDN'T have opened the motel door, Mulder WOULDN'T have walked into the light in Requiem.

While it made sense in Requiem (abductions and cancer concerns looming over her head), it makes ZERO sense now, especially when she'll just pivot on a dime and fly out to talk to William, anyway.

Ironically, she is actually the key to everything... and that's why she can't be there, because then the plot has to progress; and then WHAT WILL the writers do????? They'd have to write a coherent plot!!!! The HORROR!

Scully's gonna go, Skinner nearly whines ("I'm supposed to reign you in"), and Scully becomes the voice of sole reason in this entire episode-- "This isn't about the FBI, Sir: this is about our son"-- before she waltzes away to commit the highest treason of her character. LOVELY.

Lazy, lazy, lazy. CC really thought he aced this finale, didn't he?

Skinner is going to drive her; which is, we're left to assume, when he tells her about William's true father. OFF-SCREEN.

Tad's back, oh well, I don't care.

(Also, forgot to mention: Little Riverdale Psychopath killed the undercover agent that picked him up. Without remorse. Oh, well, I don't care. Do you expect me to feel pity?)

Here's a blurry screenshot because no one-- including myself and Chris Carter-- care about Tad:

We could be frustrated that West's character is covering for her sister (who is gone? or something?) but she's a real ride-or-die. And as far as she knows, this strange man didn't say he was FBI just that he was LRP's father; and as far as we know, she doesn't believe a word he said. I'm on her side all the way.

THEY CUT AWAY JUST AS SKINNER WAS GOING TO TELL SCULLY; and of course they ate up the time with meaningless filler dialogue ("There's something I gotta tell you, something that you need to know, something that you might not want to hear" WHO CARES, just TELL ME.)

West's character is convinced-- we don't get to see that either, shocking-- and guestimates Sarah and LRP would be meeting up at the docks. Tumblrinas, here we go.

Wait, so we DO get to see Scully's reaction to hearing the news. WE'RE JUST NOT GIVEN ANY TIME TO DWELL ON IT because she immediately spots Mulder's car and changes the conversation. ...That's even worse because-- according to the script and on-screen dialogue-- that means she processed it quickly and readily disowned him later knowing she was already pregnant. Not just lazy writing but completely alien... and awful. And so detached in intent that it comes across as mean-spirited.

I'm convinced that CC meant to have Scully "owning" her agency and bodily autonomy by having her reject William, tell Mulder to move on (by following her lead), and forge the way into a new and better future with their confirmed miracle baby.... and that is SO off the mark to Scully's character, to parental instincts, to human nature itself that it's BAFFLING.

Not only does this make her seem callous and selfishly uncaring-- reminiscent of her not caring for the missing women in IWTB because the case inconvenienced her, and stabbing Sveta with a medical instrument in My Struggle I-- but it strips Scully away from a fully empowered choice. If the writing had been just a tenth better, we would have sat with her digesting the news, with Gillian emoting Scully's conflicted feelings; and come away from that obscene ending with a better grasp of her head space.

Instead, the final pages were withheld-- exactly what CC did to Gillian and Mitch Pileggi in Requiem, seventeen years earlier-- and no time was given to focus in on, let alone explore, Scully's emotional state and burgeoning decision. Gillian herself had no idea how the episode would end; and, with vanishing night and mere hours to film before the location was a wrap, didn't have much time to explore those territories herself in preparation.

And Scully isn't the only one to suffer: Mulder is made into an action-hero shell of his former self-- empathy and in-tune sensitivity gone' eyes only for the mission, reckless and heedless and one-track minded on his goal. Exactly the kind of men he'd derided and warned against in the original run. A man so focused on his own wants and wishes that he overlooks the warning signs that even he, paranormal enthusiast and UFO-light chaser extraordinaire, wouldn't miss a mile away.

The two of them bounce between useful idiots and plot devices. As do Skinner and Kersh and Monica Reyes and CSM, who have no character. As do LRP's girlfriends/exes. As does the Second Syndicate. As do the undercover agent, the truck driver, the gas station employee. None of them are people, let alone characters.

WHAT HAPPENED: it's simple, and I'll put it in caps for my sake: CHRIS CARTER CAN ONLY FOCUS ON FLESHING OUT ONE CHARACTER AT A TIME.

In My Struggle I, Mulder was center-stage and humanized; and Scully merely an addition to his findings.

In My Struggle II, Scully was center-stage, and Mulder merely a prop to her medical science.

In My Struggle III, CSM was center-stage, and Mulder's driving and Scully's visions merely a tool to further the plot to his next monologue.

In My Struggle IV, Little Riverdale Psychopath is center-stage, and Mulder's hopeful quest and Scully's declaration merely side plots in his end goal of freedom.

It's literally as simple as that: the same pattern held true in a lot of CC-centric episodes, with the exceptions of the Pilot, Triangle, and How the Ghosts Stole Christmas. Every other one focused heavily on one character (a Christmas Carol, All Souls, Fight Club, etc.) at a time; or if Mulder and Scully shared screen time, one usually got kidnapped (Deep Throat, The Erlenmeyer Flask, etc.) or both were separated (every mytharc to date.)

Ironically, the episodes that were solo-focused were mainly Scully, not Mulder, story lines (Irresistible, Revelations, A Christmas Carol, All Souls, Orison, Fight Club, etc.) My guess? Carter considered Mulder a less empathetic character, and thus not as juicy to lob dilemmas or emotional gut punches to. Scully, meanwhile, as the normal and sane character would be most in-tune, I'll bet he supposed, with the audience's reaction. In short: LAZY.

Monica Reyes tries to stop CSM from running over Skinner, but... lets him drive a very, very long distance to run Skinner over. Because, as established in my My Struggle II reaction, she's selfish and self-serving.

Another beloved character butchered-- literally, she's dead.

Skinner's decision to stand his ground against an on-coming car THEN start to lightly run back to his own was... stupid. Especially because-- aren't there stairs to a door right behind him? RUN THERE.

Also: Mulder and Scully hear Skinner's shots, and Mulder stops her from going back to help because... he wants to reiterate that William wants to be found. ...WHO CARES, SKINNER'S IN DANGER.

"Stop, it's no use!" Mulder monotones. ...Really buying that line delivery.

OH, WAIT, this is Little Riverdale Psychopath. He's being flat because he's manipulating her-- saying, "He [LRP] knows that you love him" as a way to convince her to let him go later. ...'Kay.

It makes sense that Mulder wouldn't go check on Skinner-- this is bloodthirsty LRP. Got it.

Mulder shows up, yells, "Scully, stop him!" and I'm thankful for small mercies-- that Mulder didn't betray his own character to give up on Little Riverdale Psychopath.

Now this is where Scully realizes this kid has no idea what he's doing or how to keep himself safe and decides to completely ignore what he told her-- except that he loves her-- and claim him anyway, right???

Or are we going to get an Emily 2.0 where she lets another child go because that child asks her to-- DESPITE that situation being a entirely different context and piloted by entirely different reasons-- repackaged (read: lazily) anew to justify the finale's decision.

Guess which one, boom, you win a prize: nothing. We all lose.

Scully chooses here to chase after him... SOOO why does she let him go later? Because the last hidden pages told her to do so, that's why.

You're telling me Little Riverdale Psychopath is able to outrun Mulder the Nimble? Not a chance.

I can't believe they slowed Duchovny down to make William appear faster. What a travesty. You can TELL he's holding his back: walk-jogging at MOST.

This long chase scene was absolutely necessary, guys. More necessary than giving Scully any time to process William's parentage. Definitely.

Oh. Wow. The final confrontations' lazy.

CSM somehow beats everyone to the dock.

Little Riverdale Psychopath for some reason decided to dress up as Mulder again.

CSM thinks LRP is Mulder and shoots him.

Wow. That clever twist was certainly worth the entire mytharc and Spartan virus buildup and Monica's death and Skinner's supposed death and this entire episode's butchery.

I'm, frankly, impressed by CC's super villain powers of laziness.

CC's absolute lack of nuts, wow. He gave the paternity question an out: "That I'm the one who made him. That I'm his creator." What a sneaky little--

And you know why, too: so he can bait the "is he or isn't he?" next season. And when that didn't happen, he leaped to mitochondrial DNA instead of, I don't know, saying CSM restored Scully's fertility (a complete and total rewrite of history) an leave it at that.

But no. He's so, so smart and we've gotta deal with it.

"When I gave you life," CSM says, "I never fathomed the moment when I would end it."

That's 'cuz you're not the daddy, CSM, until later canon deemed it so. Or, if you want to stick to the bio dad heresy: you never knew Mulder was your child until years in (after One Son, at least.) Perhaps you had suspicions, perhaps you guessed; but never with any proof before Amor Fati-- hence why you kept trying to kill him, then pivoted to grooming and sacrificing later. And now that the game is tired and you are old and ready to father more sons with Scully, Mulder has run his course.

The whole thing's so stupid.

I have more criticisms of Duchovny's acting, I know, I know: he's acting as LRP acting as himself... but there is no mania, no wide-eyed expressions, no soul inside of himself that is separate from Mulder's. We all know he's capable-- Small Potatoes, for example-- but why isn't he doing so here?

Again, I'll BET there were some... unique directions on set. If I were to wager a guess, I'd posit that CC's paranoia over his "vision" being lessened (via studio interference or scripts leaking) also extended to his actors-- that he couldn't let their in-the-moment-instincts get in the way of his ideas, that what they brought to the table wasn't good enough for his thematic shots-- and that his final say overrode their input or gut reactions.

Definitely something I need to look into.

WHY DOES DD ACT MORE LIKE LITTLE RIVERDALE PSYCHOPATH WHEN KILLING CSM IN COLD BLOOD THAN HE DID AS MULDER ACTING AS LITTLE RIVERDALE PSYCHOPATH???????? YES, Mulder is emotive, YES DD acts him that way in a rage; but WHAT IN THE WIDE, WIDE, PEARL-CLUTCHING WORLD WAS THAT.

CHRIS CARTER, you let DD rage when slaying CSM but not EMOTE as LRP, an emotive person, WHO WAS FACING DOWN A BULLET.

And yes, I'm aware that Little Riverdale Psychopath was manipulating the CSM into pulling the trigger, hence his "Would you really be able to do it?" moment, but COME ONE, GIVE DAVID SOME LEEWAY HERE.

Or, and I shall lay this criticism down now: David Duchovny, what was this? I know if you were to watch this back you'd find a million places you could improve. Were you rushed, did you not care, were you following CC's directions to the letter? Did he have more restrictions for you than Gillian? What happened here, man?

And yes, I know: Mulder shot CSM multiple times and pushed him in the river.

CSM wouldn't still be standing.

Um, no. Mulder's a one shot kinda guy.

And yes, I will agree with fandom sentiment: why didn't Scully get to pull the trigger here? Because it was about fathers and sons, yeah, I see the themes. AND SO WHAT. WHAT ABOUT SCULLY, the one who had a tie to William, the one who led Mulder this entire episode, the one LRP knew loved him?

Was CC's decision to have Mulder shoot CSM a way of proving Mulder's love to/for William? To give Little Riverdale Psychopath a frame of reference? ...Or just because it would be cool?

Who knows because there won't be a Season 12.

I will say: there's a sadistic glee I derive from that ending for CSM-- he's dead before he can even figure out what happened, or even that he'd been duped. But also: I'm so emotionally tapped out I might hate it later. Depends.

Here we go, time for the worst part of the episode.

I'm not going to try to make sense of any of this because there is no sense to make.

Mulder is working up to a break down-- oh LOOK, David Duchovny CAN act. WOW. INTERESTING.

Scully hears William just died and says...

"He wanted us to let him go."

I don't think he really wanted to get MURDERED though, Scully.

"He wasn't meant to be"/"He was our SON"/"No"-- get sniped by a thousand paper cuts.

"Scully, he was our son." Great voice crack, great emotion, where was this before, HMMMMMM? (100% it was suppressed due to action man on-set Chris Carter. I'd bet that $2 I wanted from trading back Earth 2 Mulder on this.)

"No. William was an experiment, Mulder. He was an idea, born in a laboratory" BYEEEEEE get ye gone, shoo, vamoose.

GA's REALLY trying to save this, bless her heart. But... what a disservice to Scully. Mulder, too-- sure, fine, whatever: but he got to grieve and Scully did not. How... did CC think this was okay?

Scully stopping to release a breath after denying herself as William's mother is.... heartbreaking.

Her sentiment in this scene is not even in line with THIS canon, nor the exchange she and Little Riverdale Psychopath had MINUTES ago when LRP assured her he knew she loved him. THAT was a motherly moment between Scully and her child-- that should result in the EXACT OPPOSITE of her conclusion on the docks. THAT WOULD HAVE CEMENTED HER FEELINGS EVEN IF SHE LET HIM GO, what were you THINKING, CC. TH-THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE LOGICAL sense in your own SCENES, CC.

"I carried him, and I bore him... but I was never a mother to him." UM, you were mere minutes ago-- and LRP recognized that repeatedly IN HIS OWN MONOLOGUE, CHRIS CARTER, you lazy, LAZY man , you.

"For so long I believed.... What am I now if not a father?" DD did his best but even I can recognize he doesn't believe that line.

My blood pressure's about to go through the roof.

"You are a father."/"What are you talking about." I'm literally crawling through this exchange at a snail's pace as if to put off the inevitable.

You know, this would have been great, say, seventeen years ago. And while Gillian and David are knocking this scene out of the park,

I WANT TO HANG CRUST CRACKER BY HIS SURFER SHORTS IN THE TOWN SQUARE.

GIVE ME ONE MOMENT ALONE WITH HIM,

WE NEED TO TALK.

To me, My Struggle I was the worst... but these last couple minutes? Might rival that. Does, honestly, because while MSI can be swept aside as insane ramblings, THIS is a measured, introspective dive into Scully and her motivations: pure, unadulterated self-preservation. One that casts aside her loyalty and love for little William; and one that hand waves away Mulder's feelings for his son, as well. Her character is dealt the greatest blow in service to CC's boredom and flashy vision, and her and Mulder's legacy and happiness are scrambled around and mashed so incoherently that both have officially shed their skins and lost themselves on that dock. To me, they were gone a looooooong time ago. But now, there is no going back.

We end on them sniffling sadly, at the end of their emotional tethers,

AND OH, LOOK, LITTLE RIVERDALE PSYCHOPATH'S ALIVE--

I don't care.

CONCLUSION

The psychic toll of this episode is immense. My Struggle I made me rage the most... but this one... this one is cumulatively the worst.

MSI was a rewrite of the mythology that ripped Mulder and Scully apart; but they were knitted back to the files with hope(ish) for their future. MSII made some progress and gave Scully a significant role fighting faux Colonization. MSIII stripped away MSII but was, largely, useless. MSIV, though... destroyed everyone. No pity, no mercy.

And all in the last ten minutes. Wow.

I said what I've said, and now I'm counting to three.

Thanks for reading, I'm mad.

Enjoy!

[chibishortdeath]

Don’t u hate it when you draw something and then ur like “wow uh no one follows me for this fandom” haha lol anyway

Undertale is a pretty cool game, I may have a favorite character from it uh—

[psychopomp-namine]

yingdu episode 5 spoilers

ohhh my god this is everything I want from cheng xiaoshi. yes. perfect. sorry, but I'm a cheng xiaoshi whump liker and link click always brings out the best of them in episode 5 of each season.

there's just something cathartic about how when cheng xiaoshi becomes an emotional mess, it's also when he's most disconnected with the people he knows (physically, as he's diving in a photo and his only link to his home timeframe is a disembodied lu guang in his head) but it's also when he's most connected with strangers (when their own personal trauma lines up with his). to me, it's a showcase of empathy and a strange manifestation of his own agency. something about how the disconnect gives him the space to blow up, and the connection heightens it and grants him permission, almost, to express his anger more freely for his own sake and for another person's behalf.

like. listen, okay, I'm gonna ramble now because cheng xiaoshi is my favorite character in this entire show, but listen. sometimes some fans will conflate adjectives to his character that are usually associated with his character archetype, but they aren't necessarily true about him as a character. and I don't mean it in a, "he's not like that because he grows out of those traits" kind of way. I mean it in a, "he was never like that" kind of way.

one of those adjectives, for me, is when people call him immature. he isn't! to me! imo! he's got big emotions, yes, but I personally don't think the presence of big emotions indicates anything about maturity. because you know what? as long as his primary trauma (feelings of abandonment) isn't touched, he is very good at handling interpersonal conflicts, and that's what's interesting to me.

qiao ling hides relevant information from him? he removes himself from the situation to give himself space and sort out his feelings. he tells her he's fine and that he'll be back.

post-earthquake arc? I'll just copy paste what I already said in a previous ask:

what initially got me was when I was first watching S1, I thought the earthquake arc would have devastating effects on [shiguang's] relationship. listen, I didn’t know what I was getting into with link click, but I thought that was expected. it’s ripe for drama! but how do they handle the fight? they put their side business on hold but they still keep being roommates. they still do their day job. they still talk. they’re still upset but they give each other space but not to the point where they can’t stand existing in each other’s spaces. that’s when I realized that oh, they really trust each other. they have a very solid foundation for their relationship that not even the earthquake arc can break. they’re pretty level-headed about this, actually, all things considered? all the doomed yaoi stuff came later, but that’s just the cherry on top. it’s the way they handled conflict and disappointment in S1 that got me.

okay, protect-namine, why go through that whole tangent? BECAUSE! circling back to yingdu episode 5, we finally, finally get to see cheng xiaoshi let out some of his anger. and it's precisely because his primary trauma point was on the table. he can forgive a friend lying, and he can forgive being told not to change the past. because at the end of the day, qiao ling and lu guang stayed. they never left him.

but he cannot handle abandonment. he cannot understand why people leave. he cannot understand why he's been clinging on to false hope this entire time. and more importantly, he cannot understand how someone can be such a hypocrite about it. "a man who'd rather be kind to strangers than face his own son" like fuck man. cheng weimin you fucked up so bad.

it's the disconnect/connect thing again too. thematically, it makes sense. when does cheng xiaoshi blow up? when he's alone, far away from the people that ground him. alone, the feeling he hates the most. he's not even in his own body. he blows up when he's inhabiting a stranger's. he doesn't even get to be angry as cheng xiaoshi.

how fucked up is that. man. I love him so much.

also I'm going crazyyyy over the family themes going on in link click. much to say about the show itself across all seasons (the twins, qiao ling and cheng xiaoshi, even the liu siblings), but for this episode... god. okay this is slight speculation territory now and I'll try to keep this very short, because this is only tangential to the post. but. imagine xia fei getting the good parent figure in cheng weimin that cheng xiaoshi never had. and he doesn't know!! he's bitter inside about his dad and he's having hotpot with xia fei and he doesn't know he was in that school!! fuck that's so good. that's so juicy.

okay, sorry, I have a lot of feelings about cheng xiaoshi. he's my link click blorbo of all time, and I love when he experiences The Horrors™ because it's also when other sides of him gets to shine.

on a brighter note:

VEIN AND CHENG XIAOSHI MEETING AGAIN!!! their greeting was so cute. also omg does xia fei know? that his boss is maybe possibly a cannibal? actually, wait, I don't think I'd be surprised if he does know.

ah and finally. finally:

I've been having many thoughts on how yingdu approaches "friendships" and their transactional nature (mostly with regards to liu xiao) but I mostly thought they're headcanon stuff. but now. I'm so so happy that episode 5 is bringing out more of the quid pro quo theme. liu xiao with the gift giving. wang qing's "friends" (bullies) demanding her to cheat on the exam for them. and now, vein and cheng xiaoshi having a friendly greeting but also exchanging favors. so good. so good. it goes along with how there's so much handshakes and handholding this season (not just with lu guang and cheng xiaoshi, but with cheng xiaoshi and the the antagonist trio too, who have all met him by "helping" him in some way). something something trust and favors. probably something that deserves its own post though, but I wanted to point this out because I am soooo here for that. it's goes hand in hand (ha!) with the whole fraud/lies vs innocence/honesty theme this season, and deals/contracts being an equalizer to the two. very good. very tasty.

edit: ooh they also point to this in the YE6 trailer too. nice, nice. if you knew someone's true colors, would you still be their friend?

man, I love episode 5. it just hits all the stuff I personally wanted to see. the only flaw is that we still haven't seen the older version of wang qing, but yeah I kinda expected that they'll hide her until episode 6. they're giving her the liu xiao treatment from season 2. sigh. really wish she'd keep showing up in S3, we need more female characters in this show 🙏

[lazycranberrydoodles]

MAILMAN - SOUNDGARDEN

BABYGIRL WHAT IF THE SINGLE PLANK PATH TURNED MY YOUTHFUL INNOCENCE INTO A TOXIC COCKTAIL OF HUBRIS AND MORBID RESIGNATION

yeah. follow for more of the character of all time XO

[knight-of-aether]

SWEU Fanon Codex: Red Zabrak in the Sith Empire

Thousands of years before the first Zabrak colonists crash landed on Dathomir, when the Nightbrothers and their kin had yet to exist, Force-sensitive Zabrak with bright red or orange skin could be found throughout the galaxy. These Zabrak owed their similar traits to their relationship with the Tsis, or ancestral Sith species, and their destinies were linked with the Sith Empire's long and bloody history.

I. Origins

During the early days of the Sith Empire, as it expanded within the isolated Stygian Caldera region, the Sith attempted to conquer and enslave worlds that had previously been settled by Iridonian Zabrak explorers, but they didn’t expect the local resistance - which was largely Force-blind - to put up as much of a fight as it did. In this clash between two warrior cultures, the Zabraks’ tenacity eventually earned the grudging respect of the larger Imperial army.

The Sith lords eventually decided that they were wasting resources on the war, and would be better off taking the locals as their servants and their lands as fiefdom than bombarding them into oblivion. Thus the first treaties were drawn up, with their terms leaning greatly in the Empire's favor. Most Zabrak clans, unwilling to admit defeat but exhausted by the war, agreed to join the Empire after several revisions to their terms. Those who refused were enslaved or executed, their lands confiscated and divided among the Sith and their new vassals.

Many Zabrak followed their new lords to the Sith homeworlds, including Korriban, Ziost, and the Dromund system. During the ages of the Great Hyperspace War and the Empire's fall and reconstitution, its Zabrak diaspora continued to grow. By the time of the Cold War, they had thoroughly intermingled with the last remaining Tsis and their Human-hybrid Red Sith successors, becoming their own hybrid people, the Red Zabrak.

II. Biology

While they share many traits with their Iridonian cousins, the Red Zabrak population has inherited notable Tsis features that are expressed to varying degrees in each individual.

Iridonian-inherited traits:

near-human height and generally fit build

vestigial horns that appear in the first few years of life, and grow in symmetrical patterns on the crown of the head

less hair than most mammalian species; no eyebrows or facial hair, often naturally bald

two hearts and resilient cardiovascular and nervous systems, resulting in greater stamina and a slightly higher pain threshold than many other near-human species

pronounced canine teeth and a metabolism optimized for a carnivorous diet

darkened camouflage striping or inkblot patterns that fade during adolescence, upon which tattoos are traditionally based

Tsis-inherited traits:

skin colors varying from burgundy through red, orange, and peach, similar to Red Sith in complexion and always more ruddy than Iridonian Zabrak

“bleeding” effect of a bright red ring around the iris, a partial expression of the Tsis species’ characteristic glowing eyes

heightened midichlorian levels and increased chance of Force sensitivity

Occasionally, Red Zabrak will display subtle, angular ridges across their skin. Though generally less noticeable than in Red Sith, these ridges have influenced their iconic face and body tattoos, which are a fusion of traditional Iridonian and Sith ritual tattoos that incorporate various symbols to convey clan affiliation and personal stories, and are often designed to outline and enhance any observable Tsis traits.

Bone spurs and cartilaginous tendrils, however, are recessive traits that were lost in most of the Red Zabrak population after first-generation hybrids. These traits, like the aforementioned ridges, appear with more frequency in Human-hybrid Red Sith due to both the selectiveness of the Sith elite, and the quirks of Tsis genetics.

III. Society

While Red Zabrak citizens are nominally equal with all free beings in the Empire, in practice they are second-class citizens compared to Red Sith and Humans, though with societal privilege above other nonhuman species, including Iridonian Zabrak. Scholarly opinion on the merit of their Sith blood weighed against their nonhuman heritage is mixed. Their treatment is comparable to that of the Chiss, but as ancient dependencies of the Empire rather than newfound foreign allies. Meanwhile, in Republic space, they are often viewed with distrust, if not outright detested by Iridonians as traitors to their species. Due to vows of fealty that were sworn when their clans first joined the Empire, many are bound to the ancient Red Sith aristocracy as vassals, with all that entails.

Family ties are vital in both Zabrak and Sith cultures, and the two have become inextricably entangled over their centuries together. The Zabrak openly regard their accomplishments in the Sith Empire as a point of pride and their allegiance as a concession that made both peoples stronger; according to their officially sanctioned history, the Sith definitively proved their superiority in the arena of war, and have remained worthy of following in their exploits to the present day.

Despite the Empire's tendencies towards forced assimilation, the clans have held onto some of their autonomy as agreed upon in their treaties - particularly to organize for cultural events, such as the yearly coming-of-age ceremony in which teenagers traditionally receive their first tattoos, after several days of combat sports, storytelling, and feasting. Large clan gatherings are required to be open to the public, and are routinely monitored by Imperial security forces, but are among the freest cultural expressions in the Empire outside Mandalorians.

Most young Red Zabrak end up in careers that will further the agendas of their affiliated Sith Houses - often the same ones their ancestors swore fealty to when the first treaties divided them among the Sith. Choosing a marriage or career that one’s clan or House disapproves of, or siding with a rival, is to become a social outcast at best. Since the Sith hold the strings of the Empire, they can and will obstruct and manipulate the paths of their servants, and sweep impromptu executions under the rug, in the name of preserving their power bases. Systemic xenophobia in the Empire at large makes social mobility for Red Zabrak even more challenging without Sith aid.

Stereotyped as violent, stubborn, and simple-minded but ultimately honorable aliens, Red Zabrak often end up in military positions within the Empire, and frequently serve as enforcers and assassins to their affiliated Sith houses. Despite the setbacks they face, this tenacious people can be found throughout the Empire in higher positions and greater numbers than any other non-Human or Sith species.

[andrew-dwyer]

if they actually have buck move out of the loft to move in with tommy it will confirm what i know in my heart of hearts, they’re endgame.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Hey! I just wanted to ask if you have the full story/talk/chat of the event puzz reve athletic meet cops vs robbers. With their voice too?

Ah I have all the dialogue screnshotted but not a video. There is this YouTube account though that posted a lot of videos of the old events, it follows pazuribe rather then puzz reve but the dialogue is the same, if you just want the voices.

[wingedspirit]

The books Gabriel sorts in the bookshop

In episode 2.

First lines cited:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" (A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens)

"It was the day my grandmother exploded." (Crow Road, Ian Banks - notably this is a hardcover and the one Crowley gives Muriel later is a paperback, so Aziraphale has at least two copies)

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." (Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen - because of fucking course)

"It was a nice day." (Good Omens)

Also, shown in the shelf:

I Capture the Castle (Dodie Smith)

No Woman, No Cry (Rita Marley)

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (Mark Haddon)

Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)

Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

Nineteen Eighty-Four (George Orwell)

The Big Sleep (Raymond Chandler)

The Bible

The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

The Catcher in the Rye (J. D. Salinger)

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Lemony Snicket)

Herzog (Saul Bellow)

[quietwingsinthesky]

i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

OH DONT WORRY!!!

ANY TIME THERE IS A LEMON KID IS FAMOUS IN MY HEART I KNOW THEM <333

[goldkirk]

I opened Pinterest for the first time in months.

That made me realize a lot about how bad I was actually doing and how much of a Waffle House Index use of Pinterest is for adult me, apparently.

I hadn’t realized it had grown that foundational to me in a healthy-brain-exercise-and-hobby-joy way. Nice to know moving forward! It’s another sign I can keep track of and use to spot correlation/indicator patterns earlier my behavior.

I love this kind of thing, it makes me so excited!

[snobgoblin]

oh yeah in no particular order here are some transparents I've made for my discord profile pictures lol you're free to use them (sorry they're crusty I didn't bother cleaning them up since you see em super tiny anyway)

here's the background I usually use but it's very specific lmao

[fatbearteddy]

havent been drawing much lately but heres a sketch of my butch da foppish dandy