#putting the asterisks as no sane person should be subjected to that

[gothcarmelasoprano]

oh no

back on my BS also known as my delulu period dreams... i had another dream that i was some meet and greet for winters*n and all of a sudden i started bawling crying (which i probably would ngl especially on my period) and j*ri was comforting me throughout, all of a sudden we were rolling down a fucking field together in NEWGRANGE??????

this is newgrange btw for any oomfs who don't know, it's a megalithic tomb in ireland (also said to be one of the oldest buildings to have ever existed) and people generally associate it with the winter solstice as sun light beams onto the very end of the tomb that day

[faranae]

Small reminder on tagging

Alright, so this has come up again. TW for “q” word. That is the only warning, desktop users you may press “J” to skip to the next post and skip this one entirely.

Yes, I’m unapologetic regarding the word “queer”. It is my identity. It is my community. I will not stop using the word with regards to myself. 

HOWEVER.

I acknowledge and respect that some folks may not want to be referred to as such, and for others it may bring up painful memories. Their reasons are absolutely none of my business. 

I just wanted to remind folks that you can and should block tags that you find upsetting. I make every effort to tag subjects that folks might find as such, and “queer” is no exception. Any post I make or reblog that references it I’m going to make a thorough effort to tag. 

No, I am not changing my chosen tag from “queer” to “q word” or even worse “q slur”. If you don’t want to see the word, please do yourself a favor and block the whole word. I will also not be substituting parts of the word with asterisks such as in “q*eer” as that is COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE. Tumblr’s built-in blocking system does not support wildcards*. Everyone who censors themselves like ths is BYPASSING the filters and putting people at risk. 

Tumblr users go on about “curating your own content” constantly, and I’m one of them. Often however we forget that without the proper tools to do so, people who need to filter and curate their experience cannot do so. 

So! Here’s a list of tags that my followers may want to block if that’s their thing:

#nsfw (Not safe for work. Generally artistic nudity/heavy petting);

#HOMD (Yearly event celebrating NSFW freedom of expression);

#VAYOR (View at your own risk. Gore/suggestive themes/etc);

#trigger warning (General trigger catch-all)

#discourse (General “THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING” drama tag);

#queer (All posts mentioning the word);

#politics (Sometimes you just need a break, I’m not judging)

To filter: Head to your account settings on Tumblr (/settings/account) and scroll to this section:

I am always more than happy to tag on (reasonable!) request. Please don’t hesitate to ask! As well, if I ever reblog something that has glaring errors, missed tags, or is genuinely problematic please let me know either through DM, Discord, or my Askbox. I will ALWAYS accommodate do-not-publish requests in my inbox. Full stop. No exceptions. Just ask. 

Please remember and respect that my personal blog is my space. While I will not censor myself for anyone’s sake, I consider it a basic human decency to at least try to make folks comfortable if they choose to be in my company. All I ask is that you use the tools at your disposal to keep yourself safe, sane, and healthy.

* I’m not actually 100% sure on wildcard support with Tumblr’s native blocking. I’ve tested it myself since the system rolled out and did not find wildcards to function, but it may have changed since then. This does not include XKit’s tag blocking which I believe does support wildcards. 

** To those who do not know what a wildcard is, it allows the search/filter to block variations on a word instead of requiring an exact spelling. “word” = “word”, where “w*rd” can = “word” “wird” “wqrd” etc. In most online systems this is read as substituting one character/letter, though in others it can include any string of text in between.

[beingweirdandstuff]

I think about the trauma I've experienced at the hands of men, sexual trauma and just societal trauma in general and I wonder if it's really okay that I like to be percieved sexually by my partner. I do not like to be percieved sexually by anyone, and I've trained myself to be oblivious to wandering eyes so that I can stay sane in public because I'm conventionally attractive and goth and people fetishize that.

Is it okay to let him treat me sexually? Is it okay that I feel okay with that? Should I voice more often my feelings on the subject and actually put my emotional wellbeing out there to my significant other who is part of a group of people who has done so much evil to feminine aligning people? What even is love? And if I'm having these thoughts should I have even made a commitment to this person in the first place?

I would feel so worthless if one day he didnt see me sexually and wasnt turned on by me. But I also want friendship. I want platonic friendship with my significant other.

I want to be seen as a human being and spoken to kindly. I want to be understood, listened to. I want to stop living in fear of everything I say being ridiculed because some man or some brainwashed woman doesnt like it. I want to stop living with the bodily stress thats given me chronic headaches since I can remember. And its men. Its men who make me feel that way. Its men who have to argue with every little god damn thing I say. Its men who have to be offended at every corner. Its men who consciously ignore everything about a woman and see her as a sexual object.

My resolution for 2020 was to not be argued with anymore. I will not be argued with. I will not tolerate improper treatment. I will not tolerate. I am done tolerating abuses towards my person. I am done being argued with. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done explaining myself. I'm done putting asterisks below every single statement I make because people like to assume they know what I mean instead of having a conversation with me. If you would rather ridicule a stranger than have a conversation about what they're talking about then you can leave. And you will leave either on your own or forcefully because I'm sick of it. I'm done. I am done giving my energy to strangers. I'm done giving my energy to men. I am done. I am finished tolerating mistreatment. I am done. I'm done being abused.