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kosmosguk · 4 years ago

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Bloody Artistry (M) ~🥀

pairing: celeb! kim taehyung x journalist! reader; minor pairings: jungkook x reader, coworker jimin x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 8K

Summary: when the scrutiny of fame becomes too much, perfect kim taehyung finds his peace within a lavish bathroom located two blocks away from the nearest club, a corpse in the bed with him. the fans have never questioned his behavior, not when his company is much too good at cleaning up his mess to not have done it before, but when a reporter with too many questions threatens to break the peace he’s established, he finds himself in a tango with the devil that he can’t bring himself to want to break.

[Warnings: MURDER, death, literally Taehyung being a sick bastard 25/8 (but only in fiction), company corruption, violence, yandere themes, mentions of noncon smut (intoxication, mentions of being drugged, fingering), blackmail, obsession, stalking. EVERYTHING that happens in this fic is FICTION; plz don’t go busting nuts for serial killers]

A/N: Thank you to yoongissugarmommy for requesting this! Part 1 of a short series starring Taehyung. Was going to do smth similar to Lineage with him, but this has been staying in my drafts for too long (like i wrote most of this before I even wrote Lineage, which is why my writing for part of this is a bit different from my current one), and I feel like going a bit modern now to take a break from Lineage (taking a bit to write pt. 4 just because it’s the end of the main story). Thank you for 2.9k followers! We’re only less than 50 away from 3K which is so wild to think about; kisses and hugs to everyone who’s supported my work!

“Today, in the studio, we have our nation’s golden boy, the first love of all of our viewers: Kim Taehyung. Everyone, please clap your hands for him!’’

The MC turned to grin at the audience as the audience cheered loudly; her glossy black hair swept down and framed her face delicately in perfect shiny strands. The lipstick that coated her unnaturally wide smile was a deep shade of red, stark against her pale white skin. Dressed in her primly pressed suit, she looked lovely, like a blooming rose, but as she turned to face the guest star, his presence seemed to easily outshine her own.

“Thank you for having me. It’s an honor to have an interview here and have an opportunity to see all of my lovely fans,’’ Taehyung’s deep voice rang out as he smiled in his heart-swooning way, flashing pure-white teeth handsomely in a carefully maintained and practiced way that made all the fans, both in the studio and watching from beyond a screen, unable to resist letting out shrieks and screams.

“Now, Taehyung-ssi, with a record-breaking album that topped the charts as soon as it came out and a modelling gig that sells out magazines faster than before, how does it feel to have really made it? It must stress you out. Any tips on how to relax?’’

Taehyung leaned back slightly in his seat, his smile flashing coy for a brief second before settling into a rehearsed contemplative expression. He shrugged his shoulders, letting them drop out, as he made a soft hmm noise.

“How I relax? It’s not that big of a deal, really, but that’s an interesting question to ask, noona,’’ Taehyung widened his eyes slightly, looking ever so much like the golden boy persona he had stickered upon his reputation,’’ When I’m really, really stressed, I like to play with Tannie, my dog, and eats lots of yummy food that my mom sends to me when I get stressed. Also, my manager Namjoon is a good person to talk to when I’m really stressed; he always knows what to do and say.’’ Taehyung tapped the tip of his nose lightly, scrunching his face in an expression that made fans coo in adoration. “I also like to think of my fans and read all the letters they’ve sent me. I saved all of my letters from my beloved fans since my debut, and I like looking through them.’’

“Hey, Kim Namjoon, fucking hurry up,” Taehyung hissed into the cellphone pressed against his flawless cheek,” My shoes are going to get stained at this point. You know blood is a pain to properly get out of letter.’’

“Were you at least careful this time? We don’t want rumors getting out,” Namjoon’s voice crackled over the receiver, barely a hint of emotion in his voice. The beeping and honking of cars on his side of the phone call signaled the rush his manager was making towards his location.

Taehyung huffed in agitation, clicking his tongue sharply in annoyance as he skimmed his nails for any trace of dried blood. “Oh, come on, you think I really even care at this point? With the way the company takes care of everything, you’d think perfect ol’ me was…well perfect. But still, aren’t you guys way too good at this job? 7 girls and not even a peek from the public. Who else do you do this for, huh? Suga-sunbae? J-hope-sunbae?”

There was no reply. Taehyung threw his gaze over to the practically mangled body. Too bad, he thought to himself, she was really pretty this time. Red lipstick, silky black hair, wanted to become better acquainted with such a famous celebrity after her little interview, the whole fanatic spiel tied with a pretty bow of the title of an mc. She would’ve never thought that she’d go from being a bed-warmer to being so cold.

“I must be right then, huh? Suga-sunbae I can see, but J-Hope-sunbae…’’ Taehyung whistled lowly under his breath. “I thought you’d at least deny that. It’s the bright ones you gotta watch out for.’’

A dial noise was the only response. Did…Did this bastard hang up on him? Taehyung grimaced before three knocks rang on the door of the hotel suite, a signal from his asshole manager that Namjoon had finally arrived. Taehyung rolled back his shoulders, his joints crackling a little, and made sure all of his jewelry was perfectly back in place before he opened the door.

As Namjoon shuffled in with some of the staff members, Taehyung clasped his silver watch around his wrist with a soft click. He rolled his neck, trying to get the stiffness out of it, and exposed purple marks and bruises from the bites the now dead girl had given him when they had been fucking earlier.

Finally, his headache was gone.

You chugged down a cup of stale coffee and wiped the dribble of liquid that escaped the corner of your mouth as you clicked off some article about a newbie mc receiving slander after rumors of her making moves on a popular idol was exposed and disappearing to avoid the backlash. Squinting at your screen with dry eyes, you pursed your lips and snapped the laptop shut, pushing the device away from you in an agitated huff.

“Wbat’s got you in the gutters, huh? Let me guess…,’’ Park Jimin, your desk mate, rolled his chair over to your side, his glasses askew on his nose,” Ah, your favorite celebrity go into a dating scandal? Let me think, who was it that recently go into a scandal… Oh, is it that pretty boy from a new idol group?’’

You gave him the stink-eye, and your sigh this time was even louder.

“You’d think there’d be something more…interesting going with these celebrities that we could get our hands on. Too much money, lots of stress, yet no story that’ll really seize the audience by surprise, and don’t you dare say a dating scandal would do it. Boss’s been on my case for the whole week on writing an article to shock the audience and wants me to release a major headliner story in two weeks, or that asshole’ll fire me. Damn it, Kim Seokjin!” you hissed out before slamming your forehead onto the desk.

“Man, be careful with your volume; if he hears your tone, he’ll chew you out for another hour that you could be using to research. Boss Kim is picky like that with everyone because our company’s a small piece of seaweed in a system dominated by crustaceous predators.” Jimin poked you in the side jokingly, his plush lips spread in a wide smile that lit up his exhausted face. “Just think really hard; use that big brain of yours and focus on a celebrity. Come on, no one’s perfect, even that one super famous idol Kim Taehyung must have some flaws, so don’t sweat it.”

“That golden boy? Man, the whole nation’s pussy-whipped for him. He couldn’t possibly be anything bu—,’’ you sharply inhaled before pushing your seat back and rapidly swiveling to face Jimin,’’ Park. Fucking. Jimin. Oh my God, you’re a fucking genius! A whole career with not even a speck of dirt… Come on, even pure-faced idol Soyeon was caught with a scandal last month. There must be something on the nation’s golden boy!’’

Jimin’s eyes widened in surprise with your sudden outburst, and he opened his mouth to speak. “Be careful about the way you go when you try to fish out info on him. His company’s security isn’t something easy to get through, and not a single celeb from that company has gotten into a single scandal. No reporters been able to get any dirt from them…”

“Which means that…there’s something sketchy happening. Jimin, Jimin, have I told you I’m in love with you?’’

You turned around quickly in your chair, spinning in glee. Jimin dropped his mouth open to sputter something, and his cheeks were tinging red, but you weren’t looking at or even listening to Jimin at hat point, having already cracked open your laptop to furiously type Kim Taehyung into Naver. This was it! Your big break! Your motivation sky-rocketed, and you felt the first rush of energy that wasn’t fueled by some caffeinated drink in a long while.

Two hours later, you were ready to throw up.

All of the results were sickeningly the same bullshit, as what was expected for someone as beloved by the nation as Kim Taehyung was. You couldn’t fathom the amount of fancams and magazine spreads of him posing on some brown leather sofa and fact pieces—hell, you even knew what kind of socks the man liked—that you had spent the past hours scrolling through.

Realizing that the office was nearly empty, and that the sky was dimming into a dark hue, you were about to shut down your laptop and call it a long fucking day when a tweet on someone’s SNS caught your eye.

@truth-teller: kim taehyung? nation’s golden boy? are you all really sure about that nonsense?

The tweet was spammed with angered replies, so many that the thread seemed to stretch on for at least a mile, but your interest was piqued. This was the first word of slander you had ever witnessed against Taehyung. You quickly pounded out a message to the account.

@name_01: hey, I saw your tweet about taehyung! Do you perhaps have any more information on him? I find him suspicious too.

You tapped send and waited with bated breath for a reply. Minutes crept by, and you were about to turn off your phone and head out of work when you noticed three dots pop up, dancing before disappearing.

@truth-teller: you fr? I had to suspend my acc because of all the spam I got. No one’s believed me on it, but I have proof

You chewed on your lip. What if this was a joke, and you were just wasting your time on some internet troll with too much time on their hands. It seemed like you were taking too long to reply because another message popped up.

@truth-teller: if you don’t believe me then that’s fine. I don’t have to waste my time

@name_01: WAIT! Sorry, it took me a second to comprehend this information… Please tell me more.

You were worried that the account wouldn’t reply anymore, and that you had ruined your opportunity before the three dots popped up again and another message was sent.

@truth-teller: ok, if you want to find out more let’s move to a better messaging platform, just in case my acc gets suspended by more fans. here’s my number: xxx-xxx-xxxx

It was a gamble to send some stranger on the internet your number, but at this point, you were too desperate to really give a damn. There was a story just out of the reach of your fingertips; you would be a fool to deny the carrot on a stick you were being provided.

@name-01: okay, I’ll message you.

Name: hey! Truth-teller right? This is me from the messages

JK: yeah that’s me. I prefer JK when I’m not on sns tho

Name: I’m (y/n). I don’t mean to sound like I’m hurrying you, but I want to hear what you have to say about Taehyung.

JK: lol r u a reporter or smth? Real bossy of you keke

You sucked in a breath. Should you reveal that?

Name: haha would it be bad if I said I was?

There was no response for the next 15 minutes. Exhaling a long sigh, you decided that you should at least maneuver your way home; the office had been cleared out completely during your conversation with this JK, and you couldn’t help the creeps that the emptiness gave you. If anything, the walk back to your place would give you some outlet for the nervous energy radiating throughout you. You were nearly at the door of your apartment when your phone vibrated in your pocket, signaling a message.

JK: just checking. Makes sense that you’re one though. It’d be nice if you could break this story out, but I hope you trust me enough after I tell you what I know

You clicked the door shut behind you, your eyebrows creased as you stared at your phone screen.

Name: don’t worry. I trust you!

You dropped your bag down onto the sofa before throwing your body onto the seat. The three dots under JK’s name popped up for several minutes before disappearing. In the place of the three dots, a long message had been typed out.

JK: I didn’t really think much of taehyung when I first heard about him since he’s the nation’s golden boy or whatever bs title they call him nowadays, but my sister’s friend was a big fan of him. she went out with my sister and they met him in some shady club in gangnam. my sister’s friend got to talk to him exclusively and my sister got separated from her and got a text from her friend saying that she had smth come up and she already went home. she tried to contact her friend the day after, but she got a text back saying that her friend wasn’t feeling well. my sister’s friend was “best friends’’ with her but she didn’t contact my sister again until a week later saying she got a job opportunity overseas and already was about to board on the plane because it was important she got there fast. my sister’s friend didn’t contact her again like she dropped off the face of the earth

You pursed your lips in contemplation as you tapped out a message back, your nails clicking against the screen.

Name: ?? Are you sure that isn’t a coincidence?

JK: yeah, I thought so too but it was rly sus that my sister’s friend who had known my sister for 12 years to suddenly go overseas for a job opportunity without telling her at all. and when my sister tried to get new contact info from her friend there was no reply. but I got curious and since I do some computer work for my job i wanted to see if I could track the ip address of her phone but there was nothing. her last previous ip was all the way back in gangnam and my sister’s friend lived in incheon. that was a red flag so I decided to go talk to the landlord at my sister’s friend’s old apartment and the landlord said he didn’t see her come back since before that night but woke up to a fully paid lease and the apartment cleared out

You squinted your eyes at the screen, unable to properly process the information that this so-called JK had just given you. Chewing on your lip, you closed your eyes briefly before opening them back up and typing back a message.

Name: anything else? Sorry…just seems a bit far-fetched.

JK: think whatever then. I have to go to work now

Right when JK’s message popped up, another message pinged on your cell. You refused to let yourself ponder more on JK’s last message as you clicked on your friend’s text notification.

Platonic LOML <3: BAE, R U FREE TONIGHT? I’m lonely n want someone to come with me to this club— ik you’re not into clubs but pretty please

You were about to reply with a refusal when JK’s words came up to your mind again. You didn’t know why, but there was a sharp feeling in your gut that told you that you couldn’t miss this opportunity Call it silly intuition or some coincidental fabrication spurned by your mind, but that feeling persisted until you typed out a reply to your friend.

Name: okay fine. Come over in 30.

Taehyung swirled the liquid in his glass, watching the deep burgundy of the wine stain the glass a soft pink. His head was hurting again, and the new medication he had been taking for them on advice of the company didn’t work.

He scanned the dim, musty club, watching the pulsating lights cloak the dancing bodies in sallow shades of pale yellow. This club was a downgrade from his previous celebrity-exclusive club that he had gone to the previous week, but his manager had told him that if he really wanted peace, he should choose an area where no one would really know him.

Taehyung knew the real reason why his manager had insisted on this. Deaths of other celebrities were much harder to cover up after all.

Pity he actually followed his manager’s advice for once. The wine in here, despite the bougie price tag, was complete shit and provided him a slight buzz at best. And there was no one who really caught his eye out of the crowd of people. As he was about to get up from his seat and leave the club for somewhere with better—he contemplated going back to that celebrity club just to fuck with his company—pickings, he caught sight of someone entering the club.

You looked absolutely gorgeous, swathed in a black shift that you kept fighting to keep over your ass—and god, was it a plump ass too, the kind that made Taehyung’s cock hard in his tight black pants—with hair framing your face in a breathtaking way that showed glimpses of sparkling jewelry. Your friend, some chick with dyed green hair that Taehyung didn’t bother paying attention to, was clinging onto your arm, dragging you near the dance floor.

Taehyung knew.

He couldn’t take his eyes off you.

His head seemed to clear from the mind-numbing throb it always had when he spent too much time without another victim to take his aggression out of. Feeling the cool metal of the blade he always had tucked near his body, Taehyung sat back down in his seat, a playful smile perking at the edges of his lips. Funny enough, the blood thirst that never seemed to properly leave him was gone from his mind, an occurrence that was as rare as the pills the company liked shoving down his throat actually working for once.

You maneuvered your way over to the bar, to him, your friend pouting as she noticed you leaving before melting away into the crowd of grinding bodies. Taehyung swore then and there that the attraction between you and him was absolutely magnetic, with the way you seemed to pull the other towards one another.

He watched as you ordered some pretty-colored martini, adorably scrunching your face as the burn of alcohol coated your tongue and hit the back of your throat with a singe.

Maybe, Taehyung though to himself as he propped his chin lazily on his palm, he should really start listening to his manager more often.

Your mind was in a haze, and you didn’t even notice the man next to you until he was nearly pressed to your side, barely leaving a gap of space between the two of you.

You glanced at him, your tipsy mind suddenly sobering up as you realized who the man sitting next to you was. Kim Taehyung? What the fuck was he doing here?

“Another drink for a pretty lady?” Taehyung’s teeth showed as he charmingly flashed an award-winning coquettish smile at you, his already extremely handsome features seeming to increase in beauty from the grin.

You remembered JK’s words and a chill ran up your spine. God, his messages didn’t seem so implausible now, did they? Goosebumps rose up on your skin, freezing you to the bar table. Were…Were you his next victim?

You swallowed dryly as you tried to calm your racing heartbeat. The side of you that was a reckless journalist wanted to take a nosedive at the headliner just out of reach, but the rational side of you knew that leap of faith had a much bigger chance of you ending up disappearing off for a new job opportunity overseas, as Taehyung’s company would have it. You couldn’t write a good story if you were dead, after all.

“Thank you, but I can pay for my own drinks,’’ your lips twitched slightly as you forced them into a hopefully convincing gentle smile, refusing his offer softly before moving your body casually a few inches away from him,” Having drinks bought by strangers isn’t really my thing.”

Your smile must’ve looked a hell of a lot less nervous than you actually felt and a lot more convincing too because Taehyung’s shoulders, which had previously been winded like he was a predator getting ready to pounce on prey, seemed to relax at your words.

There was a dark gleam in his eyes when he again invaded your personal space and pushed his body near yours. He leaned in and whispered softly into your ears, his voice clear despite the early 2010s hits blaring from the speakers by the dance floor.

“If you’re scared of strangers, why don’t we get to know each other a bit?’’

Your fake smile grew stiff on your face. You felt like you were going to hurl the convenience store meal of ramen that you had scarfed before coming to the club all over the bar and Taehyung’s expensive luxury bran clothes. You could feel a sense of dread in your bones, the kind a prey animal would feel as a predator focused its carnivorous attention on them.

You forced a fake laugh, trying to drive the message that you were just not interested to Taehyung as loud and clear as you could manage.

“No thanks; I have enough people I’m close to. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ve left my friend alone for far too long on the dance floor.”

You pushed yourself off the bar table, flashing a strained polite smile before you headed over the dance floor, trying to keep your pace slow and steady instead of breaking out into the outright run you wanted to do.

Taehyung inhaled the linger scent of your perfume, a natural smell that sweetly layered itself over the damp musky air of the club. His eyes, even as you tried to focus on the pounding music and forget the fear embedded deeply in your gut, never seemed to leave your form. Even when you burrowed yourself deeply into the crowd away from his view, you could still feel it.

You found yourself painfully sober after that encounter, trying to look normal in front of your friend for the rest of the night that seemed to painstakingly drag on for eternity. Even when you had the short 2-minute walk from the cab you took to your front door, you didn’t stop looking over your shoulder, still feeling the chill that came with the thought of Taehyung’s gaze. When you got inside your home, the bubbling nausea in your stomach took control over you, and you ended up heaving your dinner down the toilet.

When you managed to somewhat pull yourself together, you typed out a quick message with practically shaking fingers to the only one you could think of in that moment would understand what you were feeling, You stared at your unsent message before hastily pressing send.Name: I didn’t know who to talk to, but I saw Taehyung at the club today. I think you’re right about what you said about Taehyung.

Name: I didn’t know who to talk to, but I saw Taehyung at the club today. I think you’re right about what you said about Taehyung.

Ping!

You barely managed to fall asleep that night, and your eyes painfully ached when you peeled your eyelids open, hurriedly grabbing your phone and turning it on to check your messages.

JK: what happened? Sry for late response. Job keeps me busy all night

Your fingers flew over the keyboard as you typed out your message, furrowing your eyebrows in concentration as you tried to relay the events of your night in hopefully comprehensible words.

Name: I went with my friend to some sketchy club idk what area at this point but I went to the bar and I felt someone come up to me ?? I turned and realized it was Taehyung, and he offered to buy me a drink but I declined. Makes me sick how I could’ve been his next victim, so I tried to leave and go back to where there was more ppl in the club, But I can’t stop thinking about the look in his eyes. There was something sickening in them, I couldn’t put my finger on it.

JK didn’t respond for a bit, and you exhaled a trembling breath when his message popped up.

JK: be careful. Im glad you managed to get away

Name: I’m scared. I didn’t know what to do, but hopefully I’ll never see him again once I get this scoop out.

JK: stay safe. Thx for telling me. Text me if anything else happens.

You let out a shaky breath before clicking your phone off, your nerves still rattled but slightly more calmed down after talking with JK. You had to get ready for work, but at this rate, you weren’t even sure how you would be able to get through the day. Maybe you should take a sick day? No, you couldn’t.

The elevator dinged closed behind you as you stepped out of it into the office. As you were about to take a seat at your desk, your boss rushed out of his office, relief, something he never showed to you, evident on his expression once he caught sight of you.

“(Y/n)! Come into my office; I have an important job for you,’’ your boss ushered you into his office without another word, practically pushing a baffled you into the room frantically,” You know the company that manages Kim Taehyung? They reached out and agreed to an exclusive one-on-one interview with Kim Taehyung only, and only, if you agreed to the interview.”

You stiffened, your body frozen as you tried to process the words your boss had just spoken. Your brain seemed to be running a marathon as you computed the words your boss said, and you could only meekly respond with a limp,” Why me? Can’t somebody…Can’t someone else take over? Boss…you know I’m not that experienced.”

Boss Kim barely paid any attention to your words as he rested a hand on your shoulder with a confident look on his face.

“Then, use this opportunity to get more experience. You want to show the world that you’re a journalist by getting a scoop? Then take this interview! You know the company never agrees to exclusive one-on-one interviews unless they’re all staged, but there wasn’t even talk of this being staged at all. If you can use this opportunity and get something big, won’t this be your biggest step towards a great journalist career?’’ your boss exclaimed,’’ If you back out, another chance like this won’t come again!”

As much of an asshole Boss Kim was sometimes, you could find the logic in his words. Besides, it must be a coincidence that Kim Taehyung wanted you specifically to give him an interview; maybe he wanted a newbie, so they wouldn’t have much experience trying to fish out personal details and twist his words.

That’s right. There was no way he even remembered what you looked like. You guys interacted for, what, a solid 2 minutes last night. And if you did this interview right, you could use it as a building block as evidence for the headliner you intended to release with what JK had told you.

You exhaled, nodding your head firmly.

“I will. I’ll take this interview.”

Boss Kim’s face brightened, making him look much more like the stereotypical handsome CEO character found in dramas. Since he always looked exhausted and stressed out, he always seemed more intimidating, an aura that seemed to scare off any thoughts about how gorgeous he actually was. You had to admit: your heart did flutter a bit at his face.

“Excellent! He’s waiting in the meeting room right now! You only need, what, six hours to prepare, right?”

Fuck, you take back that heart flutter. Boss Kim was an asshole.

“S-Sir,’’ you sputtered,” I can’t…’’

Before you even finished your words, Boss Kim was already ushering you back out of the office.

“I believe in you! You got this!”

He closed the door behind you. You swallowed back the mouthful of swears you wanted to spew before scrambling towards your desk.

You weren’t prepared, but you knew you would do anything for a scoop.

Exactly 6 hours and seventeen seconds later, you were primly seated in front of Kim Taehyung.

The seats were annoyingly too close, and you cursed Boss Kim in your heart, knowing that the reason why the chairs were placed in such an unprofessional manner was because Boss Kim wanted to create the perfect intimate setting for no cost. If you tried to extend your legs, you’d end up smacking them straight into Taehyung’s legs.

You, although disgruntled, had to admit that there was a reason why so many major brands wanted him as their model. He was handsome under the shitty lighting of the musty club last night, but here, with his hair and makeup carefully done despite the fluorescent lighting of the room, he was every synonym of the word beautiful combined into one person.

Blond strands of his hair brushed his chiseled features, and his eyes, curved attractively and framed with delicate long wisps of eyelashes, was intensely focused on your face. He looked ever like a marble statue, carved with attention and detail to be the most perfect specimen artistry could ever create. But he wasn’t perfect; that was what you knew. And that would also be what would you get just one step ahead of him.

You swept a piece of hair and tucked it behind an ear as you scanned your hastily scribbled notes. His eyes clung to that movement, as if he was mesmerized by your every action, and you peeked a look through your lashes. Your eyes met, and you forced a stiff smile.

“Kim Taehyung-ssi,’’ you rolled your shoulders back into a proper posture, gingerly extending a hand out for him to take,” Good morning. It’s an honor to be able to do an interview with you.”

The edges of his lips tilted upward, and there was a playful glint in his eyes as his previous fiercely predatory state melted into the façade he put up in front of the public. He reached out and took your hand, throwing you off guard as he leaned in and pressed a tender kiss on the back of your hand.

“Likewise, it’s an honor to have an interview with you, (Y/n).’’

Yuck, you were going to have to wash your hands later. Anyways, what kind of person even kissed the back of people’s hands nowadays? This was the 21st century for fuck’s sake. You somehow kept your grimace to yourself.

You nervously laughed as you practically yanked your hand back out of his grasp. You casually wiped the back of your hand on the fabric of your skirt, disguising the movement as simply brushing off dust. Taehyung’s eyes didn’t leave any of your movements, and he laughed a little as he realized just what you were doing.

Oh, you were so interesting. You weren’t like the rest of them, the fans that threw themselves at him adoringly; hell, he was sure you weren’t even a fan. He was entranced. When he was close to you, the headaches seemed to fade; he didn’t want to drown himself in another body when he was with you. He didn’t want to kill when he was with you.

You ignored his burning gaze, breezing through the beginning parts of the interview. Finally, you reached the part that you had been anxiously preparing for.

“So, I heard that you’re trying out a new actor role. As a model and an artist and now an actor, we have to admit that your talents are incredibly versatile, Kim Taehyung-ssi.’’ You continued speaking. “Could you tell us a little more about this role?’’

“You flatter me too much, (Y/n).’’ He purposefully had left any formalities to the wind in this interview, a move that made you want to grind your teeth. “Yes, I was offered one of the leading roles in a new thriller movie. I’ll be acting as one of the charismatic but complex characters. I hope to show you and all of my fans a new side to Kim Taehyung.”

“Ah, a new side,’’ you nodded lightly,” Your new role as a charismatic serial killer who targets his admirers is certainly what many would call…complex. How do you go about preparing for such a twisted role?”

“Hmm…,’’ Taehyung’s lips curled up menacingly for a brief moment before fading away into a breezy smile,’’ It’s quite difficult to immerse myself into a role in which I have limited experience in, so I like to read through the script and make a map of what the character is like. What motivates him; what makes him so…complex, as you called it. I pretend to be like the character. How do I make myself think like him? That’s the question I like to try to find an answer to.”

“Ah, this is simply my personal opinion, but to truly play the character requires some true life experience…Is it possible that you’ve ever done anything similar to what the character has done in real life?”

A pin seemed to drop in that very moment from the silence that crowded the room. Everyone in the room froze and stared at you, their glances less than pleasant. You bore it all as you stared intently into his eyes. Slip up, you prayed, do something that will make you slip up. There was not even a brief soft sound in the 10 seconds that it took for Taehyung to respond.

He was rigid, the smile plastered on his face barely fading. Come on, you begged, expose yourself just a bit.

“Your response is lagging for just a bit, Kim Taehyung-ssi. It makes you seem guilty just a bit, doesn’t it?’’

He snapped out of it right then and there.

“I was simply contemplating my response. Your impatience is something not so befitting of a formal interview. To answer your question, isn’t a role just a role at the end of the day? If you think about it, I’m not the only person to have played a role like this. Many actors and actresses have done so without any thought of relating it to their real life. After all, a role is simply an imaginary self.”

You both stared into each other’s eyes, and you felt the gazes of other people around you burn into you.

You settled on a retreat. It was fine; this interview was just the first building block. You laughed lightly, throwing off the previous tense silence easily.

“Of course! We wouldn’t expect nothing but, right? We hope to see your talent truly shine through in this new role!’’

The tenseness in the room seemed to slip away right then, and the deathly gazes on you flitted away, like they were never there in the first place.

You let out a sigh as you left the interview room. God, that was terrifying, but you knew that you had to do what you had just previously done. What you had just done asserted the theory that you had. His company was hiding something about him, and that something was nothing less than downright horrific.

JK, you thought to yourself, I’m going to expose this story, just you wait.

“You weren’t just going to leave, huh?’’

You heard a familiar voice speak behind you, and you quickly spun around.

“Kim Taehyung-ssi,’’ you forced out of your throat,’’ I believed you had already left.”

“I was going to, but I wanted to speak to you about the interview. The company rarely lets me do interviews, so it was really refreshing to have one done with you. We worked so well together, and I would like to thank you for the pleasant experience you had given me with dinner. You must be starving, right?’’

You had been starving earlier, but one word from Taehyung left your stomach churning in nausea.

“No!’’ your voice was a bit too loud, so you hastily softened it,’’ No, that’s not necessary. You don’t need to thank me.”

Taehyung took steps closer to you, and you unconsciously took a step back. Noticing your movements, he looked at you and flashed a grin that might’ve looked harmless to others but outright menacing to you.

“Are you scared of me?’’ his voice was almost like a purr. You fought back a shiver, straightening your back and looking him straight in the eyes.

“No,’’ you stabilized your voice, keeping a waver out of it,” Why would I be scared of you? You’re not some higher being than me just because you’re a celebrity. You’re human, after all. But, as you can see, I have work to do, so I will have to politely decline your offer.”

“You can have the rest of the day off.”

You spun around on your heels, your gaze colliding with Boss Kim’s. When did he arrive?

“Sir! Boss! No, if I skipped out on work, I’d be a burden to everyone. Besides, I—,’’ your voice was cut off by another voice.

“It’d be good to establish a positive relationship between your company and ours. Your boss would usually be the one to go to a dinner, but I believe he already has plans. Any work you were unable to fulfill today will be taken care of.”

The voice seemed to chill you to the bone. You turned to make eyes with a man. Was he…Taehyung’s manager? Although he was handsome, the kind of handsome that was comparable with Taehyung’s, something about him churned your stomach. While Taehyung was like a predator waiting to pounce on his prey, the man behind this voice was already sinking his teeth into the neck, wringing out the… You snapped out of your thoughts.

Snap out of it, you mentally scolded yourself.

“How about it?’’ Taehyung’s manager coldly smiled, his tone like glaciers.

You opened your mouth to try to refute, but with the burning gaze from your boss, you could only dip your head in a bow, your voice low.

“Thank you for the offer. I accept.”

They couldn’t kill you, right? It’d be too obvious.

You followed them out, and when you passed by Boss Kim, you made a panicked glance at him. What greeted you made you halt briefly in your pace.

When Boss Kim made eye contact with you, he patted your shoulder in what should’ve been reassurance. His lips spread out in a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Don’t disappoint me, hmm?’’

His words, spoken low and steady, left a chill in your veins as you kept walking, and the sliding doors of the elevator dinged close behind you, effectively trapping you with Taehyung and his manager.

You somehow made it out of the elevator and through the tense car ride alive. Now, you were seated next to Taehyung himself in the private room of a restaurant. Smoke rose from the grill, briefly obscuring your view of his manager from across you.

You tried to think positively of the situation. If Taehyung was drunk, maybe he’d slip up, but…you made a furtive glance at his manager from across the grill, slightly jolting when your eyes collided with his own. The fear that nearly overcame you made you nauseous.

“A drink?”

Taehyung’s voice broke the tense silence, and you turned to see him already raising his glass. You stiffly smiled, barely managing to keep the nervous twitch out of the curves of your lips.

“I don’t drink.”

“It’s impolite to decline a friendly offer. Come on, a toast to a wonderful…partnership.” Taehyung chuckled, raising his glass, as he leaned his chin onto the propped palm of his hand,” And we wouldn’t want a bad start to it.”

You were panicking by now, but you could imagine what Boss Kim would say if Taehyung’s company pulled out because of something so miniscule. You couldn’t afford to lose your job, not with the way you had fought tooth and nail to get your position; you wouldn’t last a month without your job or the meager protection it gave you.

You made your decision, a decision you would’ve done anything else but avoid, and tilted the glass up, clinking it against Taehyung’s glass. Turning away, you made it look like you were lightly sipping the drink, but you only allowed the liquid to slightly wet your lips. You set down the still-full glass and smiled pleasantly.

“I can only drink this much. Anymore, and I would experience terrible side effects.”

Taehyung didn’t seem even irked by your feeble attempt at pretending; instead, his eyes filled with amusement. He didn’t stop staring at you, and the threatening vibe of it caused you to unconsciously delve into your habit of gripping your glass of water and drinking it in an attempt to calm your nerves.

You placed the empty glass back down before resuming anxiously picking at your food. A pair of chopsticks—specifically Taehyung’s chopsticks—placed a piece of barbecued meat on your bowl of rice.

“Not feeling hungry? You need to eat. Skipping meals is bad for your health,’’ Taehyung beamed as he watched you carefully pick up the piece of meat and eat it. It would’ve been delicious any other time, but the churning in your gut made it taste like sand in your mouth. You dryly swallowed it.

“I’m heading to the restroom.”

You heard Taehyung’s manager speak in his flat tone, and you threw a skittish glance at him as he stood up and walked out of the private room, closing the door with a soft click behind him.

“Ah, now that that nuisance is out of the way, why don’t we talk more?’’ Taehyung’s tone was playful, and you flinched as he leaned closer to you, his breath brushing against the outer shell of your ear.

“Kim Taehyung-ssi,’’ you gritted the name through your teeth,” Please respect my personal space.”

He laughed lowly before he dropped a hand on your thigh. You were about to make a move to push him away, but your body suddenly felt tired, like you weren’t quite in control anymore.

“Come on, do what I say, and your little news company will do so much better. Your boss didn’t tell you this, but your company’s going bankrupt. One peep from me, and your company will rise in ranking, but I can only do that if I’m in a…happy mood.”

Taehyung pressed even closer to you, his nose against the curve of your neck as he inhaled your scent deeply in. His hands moved from his side and he ripped open the buttons of your shirt, groping your bra-covered tits. You let out an incoherent mumble in response, trying to flimsily kick at him.

Where was the waiter? Why was his manager taking so long? They planned this!

Disgust and heat coiled in your gut, but you were too dizzy to move. Something…that bastard…Did he spike your water? You were too careless, fuck. Taehyung moved one hand to tilt your chin up before his lips met yours. Despite how sloppy of a kiss it was, you could tell he was experienced, practically tasting every inner crevice of your soft mouth with his tongue, and you should’ve continued to be revolted, but whatever pill in your system had you melting into his mouth.

Taehyung seemed to sense the turmoil and conflict in you and the soft give of your will, and that seemed to make him even braver. He slid a hand up your skirt, his touch hot even through the fabric of your stockings, and you let out a startled moan against his lips, drool dribbling down the corners of your mouth. He pulled back, and you could barely see through the teary haze of your eyes. It had been too long since the last time you had a good fuck. You just wanted to be touched…wanted to be fucked so hard his cock would press against your womb.

“I just want to see you let go a bit, baby,’’ there was the triumph of domination in his voice. The sober part of you wanted to rebel, wanted to push and scream and kick him away, but you weren’t sober, weren’t clear-minded. Your legs spread as if begging for more of his touch.

He ripped his fingers through your stocking, and the material easily gave way underneath his strength. You could feel the damp spot on your panties, growing as he rubbed his fingertips against your drooling pussy. You shivered slightly in delirious pleasure as his finger rolled over your throbbing clit.

“Mmph!’’ you let out a sound as he pushed your soaked panties to the side and pushed his fingers deep into your pussy. You couldn’t object, not when your pussy was stretching with a spine-tingling ache around his fingers, and especially not when he begin to set a teasing pace. He pushed his fingers in, and you shut your eyes in shame as your moans grew louder.

Your toes curled as his movements grew faster, reaching deep into you, and you were so, so close. Oh my god you could feel…and you were cumming hard. Your walls shivered and twitched around his still moving fingers, and you murmured a dazed plea as he finally stilled and pulled his fingers out. You, still twitching from how hard you came earlier, were ashamed to see the way his fingers glistened with the remnants of your arousal and orgasm.

The sound of his pants being unclasped drew you out of your drugged state. No, he wasn’t going to…Come on, snap out of it, snap out of it.

He drew back closer again, and you sucked in a breath, trying to push through your daze. He leaned in. You managed to bring your arms up to the table, grabbing the nearest object that you could reach. Your trembling fingers closed around your nearly empty water glass, and you took it, raising it and smashing it as hard as you could over his head. Water, ice cubes, and glass shards struck as the glass broke. Taehyung, not expecting the blow, had a temporary moment of weakness, and you managed to push him off you.

You shoved yourself up onto shaky legs, wrapping the ripped blouse around your weakened body, and forced yourself into a run outside of the room. The hallway of the restaurant around the private rooms was empty, devoid of any person. You frantically looked over your shoulder, relieved that you didn’t see him coming after you. This was a public place, though it was late at night, and you knew Taehyung wouldn’t risk his perfect reputation. But still, you remembered his manager was still out there.

You couldn’t let them kill you…You had to survive! You broke into a blind run, ignoring the strange looks and the calls you got from the restaurant’s staff as you pushed out of the restaurant into the street. You kept running despite the dizziness of your mind, and you could barely see what was in front of you before…You crashed into someone, slamming into their body so hard that you were sent sprawling to the ground.

“Please…,’’ you choked out, your voice strangled, crying out a desperate plea as you grabbed onto their clothes,’’ Please help me.”

Your mind was dizzy, splotches of colors splattering your blurry vision. Your body had overexerted yourself, and you prayed that you wouldn’t end up a dead body on the news as your grip around the clothes went lip, and you collapsed into the road. Through the buzzing of your ears, you could hear a startled voice call out, feel a firm touch grab your shoulders and try to shake you awake. Some strange hope rose in you; maybe…maybe…?

You murmured desperately one last mumble, your words barely making sense, as you spiraled into unconsciousness.

“JK…please help me.”

A/N: if you want to be added to the taglist for the next part, reply with a ❤️. If you enjoyed the story, please leave a comment or a detailed review below <3

Next work will be a fic for Jungkook’s upcoming birthday. Poll will be released soon for what kind of plot it should have!

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orionlakehastodie · 3 years ago

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Villainholics Anonymous

"It's the height." This was from Alina, their newest member.

"No. I still say it's the hair." This from Brienne. The only blonde one.

"It's the cocky ass way they smile." This from Lily Potter - the vice president.

"And do they all have to be so bloody handsome? Like if villain why hot?" Rey. And her age old problem.

"Admit it ladies. It's their dicks. Their gloriously large and thick dicks." Lizzie Bennet. The president of this club.

There were choruses of assent from all the women - all who had their unable to walk days in various stages of soreness. Today was Lizzie's turn. Fitzwilliam Darcy the menace had been particularly eager the night before.

The Villainholics Anonymous was officially in session to annoint their newest member - Alina Starkov.

"Alright, now we have to hear from our newest member. Alina, you have the floor." Lizzie took advantage of the silence before Rey can wax poetic about Ben's face when sunlight hits it when she watches him sleep in the mornings, or before Lily can sing praises about her husband always getting up to change Harry's nappies and how can a villain be that adorable.

Alina cleared her throat and sighed. "My name is Alina Starkov and I'm a villainholic."

"Hi, Alina." Chorused the other women in sympathy.

"It all started when he pushed up my sleeve and got into my face going all 'what are you' in his hot, deep voice with that accent."

Alina's eyes glaze over and Brienne nods in sympathy.

"It's like they tell you you're the ugliest woman they've ever seen but they're like stripping you naked with their eyes and they love what they see? It's like... turning you on?" Brienne squirms in her chair, subtle smile on her lips.

"Or you know they tell you 'I can take whatever I want' in that annoyingly Disney prince charming handsome face and you're all tied up and you're just thinking damn if I get those plush lips you can take whatever you want and more-"

"Yes Rey, we know. Ben Solo has a face carved by angels and wept over by poets - let Alina speak!" Rey shot Lizzie of disdain before sighing and turning to the large framed photo of a shirtless Ben Solo she kept at her side during these meetings for "emotional support".

Lizzie clears her throat and turns back to Alina. "Do go on, Alina."

"And then he comes and cuts a man in half. And I have blood and gore all over my face but he sweeps over in his ridiculous black cape-"

"Ah yes. It's always the cape." Lizzie smiles, remembering her husband walking through a moor.

"Whatever Lizzie - Darth Darcy is better than Darcy! My husband made that shit fashion." Rey sticks her tongue out at Lizzie and she retaliates by kicking at Rey's chair.

"As I was saying!" Alina glows a little bit brighter with her ire, wanting to share more about her precious Sasha.

"He takes me up into his arms and gets me up on his horse and his chest is so big and warm around me and his arms are so muscly and I just felt like... so safe and hugged and saints when I hug him and I feel all that delicious muscle wrapped around me and I just-"

Alina pauses to fan herself, remembering Aleksander's steamy hugs and how it would lead to her naked and impaled on Aleksander's huge dick.

Lily pats her hand in sympathy and shakes her head. "They're so good at that, at looming so tall and so pretty, with the ridiculous you're mine smiles on their faces and they scramble your brain with their yummy glorious smell and the way it feels so warm when they hold you. Like, what evil motherfucker smells like treacle and woods and comfort?" Lily is still very angry that her amortentia just really smells James Potter amplified. How dare this man.

"Anyway you think you'd move on from them, and then bam. He invites me to all these horse back riding just him and me, and he makes me wear his black kefta."

Brienne whistles at Alina's statement. "These fuckers are good at that. Giving you marriage swords, and marriage keftas. Like - Jaime even went as far as to say it's yours, it will always be yours swords that stand in for my heart. And they look so puppy like when they give it to you and you're just like... omg I'm married. Villains. That's true villainry right there." But even as Brienne says it, she strokes Oathkeeper fondly at her hip.

Alina nods her head, wrapping her own black kefta around her. "And you know it makes you feel like it's just you and him and you don't need anyone else and the next thing you know you're sucking his face in his office, and itching to get his dick inside you."

Murmurs of sympathy from all the women.

"And how is it that a villain can kiss like that? Like they're off to go to war the next fucking day?" Alina blushes as she remembers how she was pressed down into that giant map and if Ivan did not come bother them she would have been dicked down on that map too... okay so she had been dicked down on the map. Once. Maybe twice. Okay maybe once every week.

Rey sniffs and brings out Ben's sweater than she uses to wipe her tears. Lily groans in disgust.

"Rey, honestly that sweater is nasty."

Rey glares at Lily and looks down at her worn quidditch jersey with Potter 01 emblazoned at the back.

"You're one to talk Lily. Anyway. I totally understand Alina, like they kiss you and suck your soul out and make you wonder if they can kiss your pussy the same way they kiss your lips and then they fade away, into the Force, before you can ride that large dick."

Brienne throws a popcorn at Rey. "Don't be such a drama queen Rey. You brought back that fuckable redwood you call a husband from the world between worlds and rode that dick into the sunset after. Mine died in a random as fuck explosion."

Lizzie scoffs at Brienne's words. "And you clobbered Dumb and Dumber in the head and rewrote Jaime back as the rightful heir of Casterly Rock and rode that dick into the sunset."

Brienne rolls her eyes. "Not everyone can have a happy ending walking in the morning mist to kiss me and propose marriage. Some of us had to correct the writing of dumb men. Be thankful a smart woman wrote yours, Lizzie."

Rey nods in sympathy. And Alina clears her throat. This was her Sasha's time to shine. These women.

"Anyway, then after they kiss you like that, you find out they're evil and then they try and kill your friend - as if you want any other dick than their villain dick - but even their jealousy is so hot and so you pretend they're evil, but then you get this weird bond connection thing and suddenly he can just appear in your room like that. I mean, they're already so hot - then they appear heartbroken and pining after you and pretending they hate you but they're just like softboi TM and the next thing you know you're naked and making inappropriate use of the Force Bond."

Alina stops and fans herself, remembering just how inappropriate she and Aleksander have been through the bond, how full of him she was afterwards she leaked him out throughout the day-

"It's them always showering when the bond connects!" Rey's exclamation brought her out of her reverie.

"Like, is he just always showering 24/7 to let me see his beautiful tiddies? And like, am I supposed to not strip and lick them tiddies when I see them? It's like the Force Bond is designed so we can feel bad for the villain and fuck them senseless. Again - if villain why so fucking hot?"

Alina nods in sympathy as Rey is currently sitting on an ice pack because Ben had ridden her vagina sore. It's the damned bond sex. Those always go haywire.

"And then... they become the selfless idiot TM, deciding to let themselves be stabbed in the heart and tells you they're human with you and then when they get resurrected do they get back with you?"

Alina and Rey clutch each other ugly tears pouring and Brienne nods with them, tears pouring from her eyes.

"No. No they bloody don't the wankers. They ride off into a war and get killed by rubble!" Brienne slams her fist on the table and takes a deep swig of her butterbeer.

"They become one with the Force after kissing you senseless and making you feel like you're home!" Rey wails hugging Alina close to her.

"They get speared by a fucking tree to tie the universe back together!" Alina clutches back at Rey wiping at her eyes.

"They tell a Dark Wizard to fuck himself while telling you to save your only son!"

Lily joins the hugging ladies and drags Brienne into it as well.

Lizzie sighs and pounds on her gavel. "Ladies, ladies. Get over yourselves. Your men are back with you - Brienne - Jaime is at Casterly Rock because he said fuck that to riding back to Cersei and stayed with you. Rey, Ben is probably grumbling his way through another Republic meeting because he also said fuck that to becoming one with the Force and crawled back to you. And Alina - sweetheart, Aleksander is out of the tree - because he said fuck that to not being with you. We're here to make sure Alina finds her husband hot because he's now reformed. We don't like hot villains!"

The ladies gathered themselves and Alina wipes her tears and flushes.

"So... anyway, two days ago, Sasha came back from a peace talk with Fjerda, and he was really angry because we just got intelligence about Parem. And he said... we should have kept the Fold so he can just kill them all... and... and I found it so hot, so I... I stripped him naked right then and there in the war room and sucked him dry."

Sympathetic grumbles came out from the other ladies.

"Don't worry Alina, we're all here to get this temptation out of you - but I get it. Villains are hot. Sometimes I make Ben wear the mask..." Rey wipes her tears and sighs dreamily and Lily clears her throat.

"Rey-"

Rey blinks and shakes her head. "Right, right, villains are not hot."

"Alina," Lizzie begins but her phone started buzzing. She peeks at it and her eyes widen, and a familiar flush takes over her face. Brienne catches sight of it and smirks.

"Darcy calling you inferior of birth again, Liz?"

Lily grabs Lizzie's phone and giggles. "Darcy got himself in a lake and wondering when dear Lizzie is coming home."

Rey snickers. "I'm betting it's now."

"Shut up you lot, anyway Alina-"

But Alina was already packing up her bags. "Alina?"

"Sorry. Aleksander just came back from Grisha training - and he said if I'm not home in 30 minutes he'll take all that I hold dear so I only have him. I'm gonna get railed. See you guys next week."

She was out the door in a minute flat and Brienne laughs.

"Remind me, why do we do this again? Last week Rey got called home by Ben who said she was his sweet nothing and she came to the meeting today sitting on a vagina pack."

Lizzie merely rolls her eyes and stands up too. "Well, where else can we brag about having tall, hot loving husbands with big dicks who challenge us mentally and love us for challenging them back? I'll see you girls, I bought more of those vagina ice bags, sounds like we'll all need them."

#darklina #alina starkov #aleksander morovoza #shadow and bone #reylo #rey #ben solo #star wars #braime #brienne of tarth #jaime lannister #jily #james potter #lily potter #darcy x elizabeth #elizabeth bennet #fitzwilliam darcy

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wenseulbear · 4 years ago

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Bloody ending..( pt.1)

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Seulgi X Fem!reader

Warning(s): blood, sex, harsh play, choking, threats , vampires

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In the morning

my alarm starts going off while i look at it frustrated with the bugging and awakening noises coming from it. I slap it to the ground and stretch upwards. My head in an ache while looking around for the medicine. I get up and walk to start my normal boring day.

I gather my uniform and walk to school with my best friend Twice’s Sana. Shes been my best friend since middle school. “Y/n why dont you have many friends? Sorry if it offends you im just curious..” She softly asks as i rub her cheek lifting her head. “i dont need anyone im not even special Corgi” She smiles at the nickname.

“You’ll forever be special to me” She says while holding my arm as we walk into our first class together.

After school

Me and Sana split going our ways from being on two different sides of the school. I start walking the semi-far walk to my place until someone catches my eyes. A girl in the alley way that no one goes down. Shes kinda tall, has dark hair, her skin is more on the darker olive but still pale, she seems lost.

I keep my distance as i softly say “hello?” she looks over quickly a small fear in her eyes from a stranger talking or refering to her. “h-hello there”she mumbles but its clear to me. I make my way towards her rubbing her back. “Are you okay?” i ask while i notice the small cut on her hand.

“yea im okay just slightly cold..” She looks at me with soft brown orbs as i smile softly at her. One thing i did notice about this bear looking girl is that she keeps starring at my neck.

i slide my coat off and give it to her on my way to leave after hearing another mumble of “thank you”from her.

Later that night~

i went out to the store which was next to a blasting club. I shop for a little then slowly try to walk past the club as i feel hands on my waist and a soft whisper in my ear “we meet again princess” knowing the tone. It was no one other than the bear looking girl.

i look to my side to look at her i see a small smirk on her lips then her eyes look lustful. i try walking forward she followed as i walk to the gas station she pushes me to a wall and finally checks me out. “my my princess youre so sexy walking around like this.”

Her hand travelling on my bare thighs slapping it causing a whine and whimper from me. She loved the sound and slapped me again causing another wince. After like 9 slaps she stopped and whispered “bring me home little one and ill tell you everything you wanna know”

I did as she was instructing i was in literal fear compared to her taller bolder self.

In the HOUSE

im pinned on my front door letting her kiss and suck dark hickies against my skin. i managed to get on the couch as her hands make my legs wrap around her waist massaging my ass in her hands. My moans are soft but powerful to her.

“Im Seulgi baby but just scream daddy for me okay, love?”She groans out while thrusting her hips at me both of us still clothed as her kisses are now much longer than before. “Im Y/n a-ah f-f-fuck!” i moan out while her hand massages my clothed clit.

She gets up and grabs me walking upstairs already knowing where my room was somehow while throwing me on it. She gets on top of me grabbing my neck causing me to beg for air as her grip softens here and then for me to breathe while she kisses my collarbone.

“strip.”she says cearly impatient while i rip my clothes off quickly not wanting to test her. She grips my throat harshly while smirking then whispering “what perfume kind you where it smells amazing dear.”She asks while licking it off my neck enjoying the taste and smell of the perfume “i wear Y/P/S (Your Perfume Scent)” She was pleased with your style and scent that she rubbed your cheek and kissed you.

“maybe we should get some sleep you look exhausted hm?”she cockblocked what she started. But, i agreed and got up starting getting my pajamas on as she watched. I throw her a pair of shorts and a tank top and she changed as well while i got into bed and stretched.

After a few minutes she soon joins me in bed turning the lights off making sure the curtains were closed then settling on my chest. I was fast asleep as she was on my chest her hands laying on my right thigh cuddling it for comfort of a final warm night.

At 5 AM Seulgi POV

i was sleeping peacefully on Y/n until i woke up in need for blood. I look around and see her thigh i smell her blood....royal blood..so....yummy smelling....I lick her once causing her to stir in her sleep. I get up and change my clothes back folding the clothes i used and left a small note.

I take my leave quickly the hunger building more and more inside me as i make it to the alley way waiting for someone. A taller girl enters and walks past me i grip her neck and pull her behind bags and stick my teeth inside her neck.

her blood going inside my mouth while my fingers rub at her pussy to make her focus on pleasure. Shes not screaming for help shes moaning. I take my teeth out my greed for blood is cured while i walk around a bit i stop at a school and regaster inside the school while getting the uniform and getting an apartment.

The next morning Your POV.

I get up and look around not seeing seulgi in bed i see a note.:

Hey Y/n,

i had to go i had just remembered i have a pet at home so i had to go take of him. He is a newborn puppy and he isnt well trained yet but im gonna be over later i promise!

From, Your bear seulgi

I put the note on my dresser and get ready for school. I put my uniform on and walk to school. I notice some familiar dark hair and a soft hickey on the left side of her neck.

......

Part 2 soon babies :3

#seulgi #red velvet seulgi #fxf #rp #smut #vampire #seulgi smut #red velvet #red velvet fanfic #red velvet seulgi fanfic

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uzumaki-rebellion · 6 years ago

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Forty-Seven G [Part 2 of 3]

"Hot thing, barely twenty-one

Hot thing, looking for big fun

Hot thing, what's your fantasy?

Hot thing, do you want to play with me?"

Prince – "Hot Thing"

Summary: Erik Killmonger runs into his favorite flight attendant again. Payback is not always a bitch...

Mature Content. Smut.

Fa'aana stood in the aisle of the business class section of the plane watching passengers board at a snail's pace. She scratched the back of her neck while keeping an eye out for people who needed help.

The last few days had been a breeze with the flight team she was working with. Mark, Mavis, Lucy, and herself were in sync and had the uncanny ability to anticipate what they all needed from each other at any given moment. The long haul they were about to embark on from Italy back to Atlanta was going to be packed. When she checked the passenger manifest, there were only about seven open seats available.

She and Mark were able to catch a fantastic brunch at the hotel they stayed overnight in while on a layover in Rome. Munching on a croissant with a thick smothering of Nutella and the best espresso ever, she detailed the birthday dinner she had with Hugh back in the states.

Mark didn't seem impressed, and after sharing the deets, she realized it was a pretty poor date. They visited the Atlanta aquarium first because she loved the place, but Hugh gave off bored vibes so they left early. The restaurant he made reservations for had pretty bland food despite the expensive menu and all the hype she had heard about it. The strip club he took her to afterward that she was excited about going to wasn't as impressive as she had hoped. The exotic dancers were athletic and did amazing things on the pole, but all the music sounded the same and all the women looked cut from the same cloth: Ultra-colorful wigs. Overly injected ass cheeks and breasts augmented into unnatural sizes and shapes that looked uncomfortable. Plus, all the bored facial expressions.

She wanted a sexy good time that would lead to some amazing sex with Hugh, but instead, he served her mediocre peen. Bad food, bad company, and bad sex. Ugh.

The only highlight of her birthday was finding herself on the lap of a stranger getting fingered on the back of the plane almost a week ago. Forty-Seven G. Erik from Oakland. Thinking of him made her nipples perk up. She hadn't cum like that since…wow, when had she ever cum like that? It was explosive. Primal. It felt like he was introducing her to her own vagina for the first time.

She sighed thinking about him.

After he made her cum, she had to go into the lavatory and change her panties from the fresh pack she had in her carry-on stored in the galley. She wanted to reciprocate the pleasure back to him, but Mark had woken up and they had to prep for the breakfast run before landing and serve a few early coffees and juices. She felt bad because his erection was something she wanted to see and touch.

Before Erik left the plane, she had given him her number because he had promised to send her a picture of himself at the wedding he was attending. Two days later, as promised, a number she didn't recognize popped up on her phone with two attachments. One was a picture of Erik smiling with a bride and groom, and the other was a candid shot of Erik straightening his bow tie.

He was disgustingly photogenic, and she wished she had never asked for a picture because now she would be stuck with a memory of a man she would never see again. He knew how to wear a tux, and he knew how to serve face for the camera. And those damn dimples. Yummy.

She texted the number back thanking him for the picture and she was so glad that she hadn't sent anything else beyond that message because the response she got back was not from Erik, but from a woman who said he asked her to send the pictures. So much for that. He didn't want her to have his number apparently.

She did catch herself staring at the pictures every now and then, and then she would get a shiver up her spine thinking of his lips and his fingers…

"If there are some open seats available, do you think I could move to one of them?"

Fa'aana was broken from her thoughts of Erik and found herself staring into the eyes of a pink-faced older man who seemed disgusted that he had to sit next to a couple with a small child that looked to be about five.

"Once everyone is seated and we know our final headcount, I will let you know," she said.

"Thank you," he said glaring at the couple.

She was tempted to ignore him and pretend they were full even if they weren't. The child had been nothing but quiet and polite since she was placed in her seat. Some people just hated children for no reason.

Fa'aana saw Lucy waving to her from the first-class section. She made her way up the aisle to see what Lucy needed.

"Do you mind taking this and storing it in the back? All the bins up here are filled up."

"No, problem," Fa'aana said grabbing a small roller bag.

The hairs on her neck stood up when she saw Erik walk aboard. The same round black shades, a magenta jacket over a white t-shirt and gray jeans, and that same swagger. He was with a light-skinned Black woman and a white man waiting to head into the first-class section.

"Fa'anna, one more small bag, please. Thanks," Lucy said.

Erik turned his head when he heard her name. She couldn't see his eyes behind the dark frames. There was no hint of recognition really, not even a smile. He heard her name, turned to look at her and then kept it moving up into first.

Oh, it's like that?

Fa'aana headed to the rear of the plane with the bags feeling a bit vexed. The least he could've done was given a head nod or even a "W'sup." Nothing. Nada. Zilch. A cursory glance and then he was stepping. That's why she didn't fuck with young dudes. That man had played all up in her pussy, watched her face and thighs have an intense orgasm too, and he walked by her like he didn't know her.

Well. Be honest. He didn't know her. He probably didn't expect to see her again either. And if the roles were reversed, what would she say to him?

Let it be.

Fa'aana found space for the bags and went back to Lucy to inform her of the aisle numbers so the passengers would know where to retrieve them. She saw the back of Erik's head in first-class. He was seated next to the light-skinned woman who was having a heated conversation with the white man who came with them and was seated behind them.

"My oh my," Lucy said giving Fa'aana a look.

"What's up?"

"A little lovers spat," Lucy said glancing back over at Erik and his companions.

"The Black guy and woman—"

"No. The woman next to him is with the white guy behind her. She made the Black guy switch seats with the white guy."

Fa'aana saw Erik talking to the woman and she was shaking her head and pointing her finger at the man behind her. It was difficult to hear anything from them clearly, but it sounded like Erik was saying "Not my problem."

"Hopefully they simmer down soon," Lucy said.

Fa'aana nodded, but her eyes were still on Erik's face. Mark strolled up to them.

"So we have seven open seats available, three in the back, and four in business," he said.

"Be discreet, but if two of you want to fill in the seats in the back, do it," Lucy said.

"Cool," Fa'aana said taking one last look at Erik, then heading back to her station.

Turbulence.

They hit some on the way out of Italy and had to endure more as they passed over France. Fa'aana and the other flight attendants had to wait to do snack and beverage runs. By the time they were halfway over France, the airstream was smooth again.

They made swift work of giving out snacks and libations. She moved the pink-faced complainer to another seat and helped an elderly passenger up to the business class restroom and back. By the time the dinner run was complete two hours later and cleaned up, she was able to kick back for a moment and rub her feet. She snagged an empty aisle seat in fifty-seven G but had to keep getting up for some wine thirsty passengers.

She was mixing a Bloody Mary when she heard a soft "Hey."

Glancing up she saw Erik leaning against a panel next to one of the lavatories. Dark glasses off, his face looked soft and open. She stared at him for a moment.

"Just a sec," she said moving past him to deliver the drink in her hand.

She felt her heart do a little double time. When she turned to walk back to the galley, he was watching her approach. She stepped past him and moved further into the galley. Mavis was in a seat in business class and Mark was sitting on the other side in seat fifty-two A. She had the galley to herself. Normally she would tell passengers they couldn't be near the galley. But this was different.

"Thanks for the pictures," she said trying to figure out the best opening.

"The wedding was great," he said.

Standing near him was so different than when they had been sitting next to each other, and when she had been sprawled across his lap. He towered over her…

"When you came aboard, I thought you didn't recognize me," she said, "is it the hair?"

She twirled a finger into her thick twist out hairstyle.

"Nah, I wouldn't forget you, trust," he drawled out, "I was just caught up with some drama."

"That's what I hear," she said.

"Whatchu hear?"

"The woman you were with seemed upset about something. You had to switch seats."

"Yeah, Chloe. My Ex."

"Who is the guy with you two?"

"Her boyfriend."

"What? Oh, I need to hear this," she said. She gave him a friendly smile. He moved in closer so that he was no longer near the two lavatories. She could really feel his height now. The vibratory hum of the plane masked their conversation.

"Nah, this shit is boring—"

"To you maybe. You go to friend's wedding and your ex-Girlfriend is there with her current boyfriend…and now the three of you are bosom buddies riding in first-class together. Yeah, total dullsville."

He laughed.

"Ain't no bosom buddies—"

"Speak then. How long ago has she been your Ex?"

"A year—"

"Wait, how old is she?"

"Twenty-four."

"How old is he?"

"Thirty."

"So, what happened?"

"First of all, it wasn't a surprise that she was going to be at this wedding. My boy already let me know that she was going to be there with her new man. She and I been cool for a minute, so it wasn't like shit was going to pop off when we saw each other. She introduced me to her man and everything was cool breezy y'know, mellow and shit. Wedding was dope as hell. But I notice that her man is making these reckless comments about her that I don't think is cool. Like he's saying shit to try and fit in because the majority of the people there are Black—"

"What was he saying?"

"Dumb shit not even worth repeating. So I pull her aside and tell her that I think her man is only with her because she's Black, but the type of Black that white guys like—"

"Which is?"

"Ambiguous Black women. Light bright, wavy hair…but this dude has a thing for big asses too….which I can understand…but still, I was getting fetish vibes. She and I have always been 100 with one another so I felt comfortable giving her my opinion. She didn't believe me so I just let it go."

His voice was getting heated telling the story. His facial expressions were interesting to watch.

"We're all doing the wedding party stuff and having a good time for four days. But then last night, she gets drunk and they start arguing over some personal shit, and my name gets thrown in there and he accuses her of wanting to sleep with me. I have no interest in her whatsoever. She's an Ex for a hella good reason…"

He shook his head.

"You don't need to hear all this boring ass shit. They got issues and I'm not going back up there until they go to sleep or something."

"You better go back up there and enjoy your first class—"

"I didn't pay for that. She upgraded my ticket, and that just added fuel to the fire. I was hoping to eat my fancy food and mind my business, but they kept at it."

"You can't stand for seven hours."

"Any open seats back here?"

"There's an aisle seat that's open. There's a man in the window seat—"

"Show me," he said.

She moved past him and pointed out the aisle seat that she had vacated.

"Yo, my man, you want to switch seats? You can have my first-class spot."

The passenger who had been trying to get comfortable against the window looked shocked.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

Erik handed him his first-class ticket receipt. Fa'aana nodded to the passenger.

"Wow, thanks a lot buddy," the man said as he stood up and took the ticket stub.

"Enjoy," Erik said.

"That was nice of you," she said.

"Be right back, I need to get my computer bag."

She watched him walk the long trek up to first-class. A passenger requested her assistance and she tended to them, bringing another blanket and a bottle of water.

She was making herself a cup of tea when Erik slipped back into the galley to stand near her.

"All good?"

"They sleep. Didn't even see me leave."

"Nice."

"How was your birthday dinner with your boyfriend?"

"Trash."

He laughed and she laughed with him. She ran it down for him without mention of the bad sex and he shook his head.

"You went to the wrong strip club, Ma. I know some places down there you should go to."

"You going to take me?"

"Next time I roll through."

"Hit me up then."

She waited to see how he would react to that.

"I got your number, girl."

"Alright. We'll see," she said.

She turned and sprinkled a sugar packet into her tea and she felt him get close behind her, his body heat radiating into her back. He leaned down to her ear.

"I ain't forgot about the last time I saw you," he whispered.

She closed her eyes and put down the tea. Sweet cornrowed Jesus.

"Erik, I'm working."

"You were working last time too—"

"Erik!"

He jerked back from her when he heard the shrill female voice.

"Chloe," he said stepping out of the galley and back into the aisle.

Fa'aana ducked her head out and sipped on her tea. Chloe's face was flush, her lank dark hair swept to one side of her left shoulder. Her thick lips were curled up into a scowl.

"You just let some strange man come sit next to me?" she hissed to Erik.

He pulled her closer to the lavatories and the galley.

"I'm not tryna hear your bullshit, Chloe. I said what I had to say and I'm done—"

"No, we're not done. Come back to the front—"

"Nah—"

Chloe clutched at Erik's arm.

Fa'aana stepped forward using her trained de-escalation voice.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need for you to go take your seat."

"You just mind your damn business. Go serve some coffee or something," Chloe said with a clipped voice.

"Don't talk to Fa'aana like that—"

"You know this bitch?" Chloe said stepping toward Fa'aana like she was ready to throw hands.

Fa'aana felt her neck tilt.

This heffa could catch some hands…

Erik stepped in front of Chloe.

"Take your ass back to your seat."

Fa'aana and Chloe both heard the rumble in his voice. It made Chloe's face switch up real quick and Fa'aana's knees quake.

"Erik, baby, I just want to talk…"

Chloe's tone had shifted. Coquettish. Soft. Pacifying. She was trying to wrap him around her finger. Fa'aana wanted him to wrap his hand around her own throat and choke her slowly while talking forcefully like that again. She imagined him bending her over—

Erik's eyes swept back to look at her.

"Sorry about this," he said. His face looked tired like he had been dealing with Chloe and her boyfriend all day and he was just weary of it. A passenger light signal went off and Fa'aana was happy for the distraction.

"I'll need you both to return to your seats please," she said in her professional voice. She left them to go tend to the service call.

A woman with a French accent wanted water for some aspirin she was taking. Fa'aana went to retrieve it and across the aisle, she saw Erik walking back to first-class with Chloe.

Sitting in the aisle seat, Fa'aana started a game of Blackjack on the vid screen in front of her. The cabin had quieted down and she could finally rest her feet after completing several walk-throughs checking on passengers. Most were asleep or trying to sleep.

"Mind if I sit in my seat?"

Erik watched her face as her finger lingered on the vid screen. She started to scoot over.

"I want the window," he said.

She stood up and let him haul his body over to the window. He took off his jacket and sat it on his lap.

"Sorry about that Chloe shit," he said.

"Already forgotten," she said starting a new game on the vid screen.

He reached for her hand on the screen and held it.

"Nah, for real. That wasn't cool."

"So that's the type of women you go for?"

"Chloe is a little hot-headed—"

"Entitled—"

"That too sometimes."

"What did you ever see in her?"

"She's fine—"

"Typical—"

"Typical? Men like fine women. Physical beauty is what we see first. Straight up."

Fa'aana rolled her eyes.

"Women do it too. Don't act like y'all don't check for fine niggas," he said.

"Why did you break up with her? That sparkling personality of hers didn't keep your interest?"

Erik's eyes dropped to his hands.

"She's looking for a husband, picket fence, kids, all that rah rah. I felt like she was grooming me to take home to her parents. I'm too young for all that. I got shit to do and I have my own timetable for how I want my life to proceed. She didn't respect that. Got a little pushy so I bounced."

"What's your timetable?"

"Finish grad school. Then I'm going into the Navy. Become a Seal—"

"Wait, grad school and then the Navy? You don't strike me as a military man."

"I graduated from Annapolis before going to M.I.T. Been training for this life for a minute."

His eyes were so focused when he talked about his plans. She noticed a silver chain around his neck with a heavy and expensive-looking silver-black ring on it. She reached out and touched it and his hand shot out to pull it away from her.

"Sorry. I should've asked to touch it. It's beautiful."

His hand released her hand and she turned the ring with her fingers.

"It belonged to my father. He was killed when I was younger."

"Sorry to hear that, Erik. What language is this writing on it?"

"Wakandan. East Africa. My father was from there."

His demeanor became somber. This was something painful for him. She released the necklace and he tucked it inside of his shirt. They were silent together for a moment. She stepped away from her seat to go check the galley and to see if any passengers made any service calls. There were none and hadn't been any for a long time. The people in front of them and across from them were knocked out with headphones on and movies playing.

Back at the seat, Erik had fired up his own game. When she plopped down next to him, he seemed more cheerful.

"I didn't think I would run into you again," he said.

"Me neither, but there was always the small chance."

"You were hoping to see me, huh?"

Her lips curled up in a sly smile.

"You can admit it. I wanted to see you again myself. You been on my mind the whole time I was in Rome…"

She felt herself getting warm again. His voice was low and he was giving her bedroom eyes that she couldn't resist. He lifted up the middle armrests.

"C'mere," he said reaching for her.

"Erik, there are too many people—"

"Give me those pretty lips, girl…"

Her body ignored her brain, and she was scooting over to him and giving up her mouth freely.

"Hmmm, you taste so sweet," he said. He sucked on her tongue, the cranberry and apple tea was still strong on her breath. His right hand reached up and touched her blouse, his fingers feeling for her left breast. He tweaked her nipple and then his whole hand squeezed her plum-sized breast. He released her lips from his and his forehead pressed against hers.

"Open this up," he breathed out to her.

She didn't move.

"We're good, no one is paying attention. I want to touch you. Let me touch you," he whispered. His full lips were taunting her. He was nothing but trouble. Good trouble.

She allowed her fingers to open only four buttons, just enough to let him get his hand inside. He opened a fifth button himself and thrust his warm hand down on her. The thin silk of her bra cup was forced aside so that his fingers found her pebbled nipple. He pinched it and she gasped.

"Erik…"

His fingers went to her other nipple and plucked at it. His mouth found hers again and he pulled her closer to his side. He tongued her down until her toes had curled and uncurled several times. He released her lips and she felt breathless. His hand reached under his jacket.

"You owe me," he said. She saw him tugging on himself under the jacket. She squirmed in her seat, her hips rotating slowly from need. He pushed his jacket aside and unfastened his jeans.

"Play with my dick."

Her hand slid down and reached for his pants.

"I want to see you pull it out."

She used both hands, one to pull back his boxers, the other to release the bulge that waited for her. When she gripped his erection, he let out a soft groan.

"Soft ass hands…"

She pulled out his dick. It was so heavy and so full of heat. Fuck. The weight of it made her mouth water. She stroked him.

"Ooh, yeah, just like that. Keep doing that."

She circled the head with her fingers and he widened his legs pulling down on his boxers so that his balls were accessible for her too. His fat sack was so hot to the touch.

"Stroke that shit. Make me feel it, Ma."

She whimpered, fisting him just under the mushroom head, hitting his frenulum and twisting her fingers a bit.

"How you know my spot already, girl?" he gasped, shifting in his seat. Beads of pre-cum seeped out and dripped on her fingers. She played with it and rolled it across the wide head. His slit leaked more. "You want to taste me? Go 'head, put your mouth on that shit," he said.

She lowered her head and licked the clear fluid. More spilled out and she gobbled it up.

"Stick your tongue on that hole…yeah…just like that…I got some more for you."

She squeezed the head and his natural lubricant trickled out onto her wet tongue. She smacked her lips and looked up at him.

"Let me stretch that mouth," he said. She moaned. She cared about nothing else at that moment. They could fire her for all she cared. She just needed this man's fast ass cock in her mouth.

He thrust up his hips and the bulbous head touched her lips. She opened as wide as she could and took him in. His lips pressed together tightly as he swallowed a deep groan. Her head bobbed in his lap and his left hand hovered above her hair, touching her head and pushing down when he wanted her to go deeper...harder.

When she raised up to catch her breath after she started gagging, he pulled on her hair. He gripped his dick and squeezed the head so that his wide slit opened.

"Spit on my dick," he said.

She swirled her tongue in her mouth collecting saliva and spit on the head making his dick sloppy wet.

"You like being nasty, huh? Spit on it again, bitch."

She felt her stomach twist up and a strong pulse made her pussy throb from his words. She spit on his dick again and then he was shoving it back in her mouth. He reached for his jacket and used it to cover her lower half. His left hand frantically raised up her skirt and then shoved down into her stockings. She wiggled her hips so that his fingers could reach her panties and soaked folds.

"Damn…you know how to suck dick…swallow this shit baby…yeah… keep going…keep going…"

Her folds were so wet and her pussy so engorged, he was able to slip his fingers in and out with ease. He flicked her clit in a delicious rhythm and she felt an orgasm building. He was making her work her neck out as he fucked her face trying his best to keep quiet. He was beginning to inhale with harsh sounds.

"I'm 'bout to feed you, girl. You betta swallow this nut—"

That's all it took. Her release was tight on his fingers, her walls throbbing with intense pleasure that made her skin tingle.

"Ohhhhhh…" Erik groaned, his legs seizing up tight as a hot load of cum shot up into her mouth. His dick swelled in her mouth and she felt it spasm several times. She swallowed what she could and then had to let him go because she was choking on his girth.

"Damn, girl, damn."

She held onto his cock as a final stream of creamy white spilled out from him. He looked down at his dick.

"Clean me up. Lick all that shit up."

She did what she was told to do. His fingers were still inserted in her pussy. And she was grateful for his touch.

"Fuck, that was a lot," he said.

She giggled and sat up. He re-fastened his pants. She fixed her skirt and buttoned up her blouse. He stuck two of his fingers in her mouth.

"You suck dick like a champ. World class head game, baby."

She circled her tongue around his fingers then pulled them out, licking up and down each digit.

"You should be ashamed of yourself. Sucking dick on the job…"

"That's good customer service," she quipped.

"You right, Ma. Serving excellence. I'ma tell your boss to give you a raise when I leave."

She felt her face flatten.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head and pulled back from him. Passengers around them were still knocked out.

"Hey, Fa'aana, w'sup?"

Stupid. It was stupid. She was catching feelings.

"I need to freshen up," she said.

He pulled her in tight and fast.

"I'm feeling you too, Ma."

When his lips pressed into hers and she gave into his tongue and the heat of his mouth, she knew he wasn't lying.

Forty-Seven G [Part 1] Forty-Seven G [Part 2] Forty-Seven G [Part 3]

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ralfmaximus · 5 years ago

Text

Snow White and the 1026 Dwarfs

Snow White woke up in the strangest little bed! She'd happened upon the small, cozy house deep in the woods, found nobody at home, and promptly crashed in the first bed she'd spotted. Sleep claimed her then, dragging her away to a place of relative peace and calm... carefully letting her ignore how tiny all the furnishings were, how oddly low were the ceilings and fixtures. And now, the next morning! What odd little men surrounded her! Normally she'd be alarmed by close proximity to so many strangers, but the events of the past day had granted her an oddly calm outlook on life. Nothing much rattled her anymore. Snow White blinked sleepily, yawned, and stretched. The men watched her every movement, transfixed. "Do you talk?" She asked experimentally. One older man -- tiny, rotund, and wiser than the rest with a long white beard -- glanced around at the others and nodded. He adjusted his spectacles and stepped forward. "I'm Doc," he explained with a jolly chuckle. "And these are my friends: Smarmy, Ragey, Explainy, Glossy, Pookie, Pesty, Grippy, Inebriated, Teary, Swampy, Piggy, Catty, Hitler, Stroky, Zombie, Mooky, Tandy, Fakey, Twinky, Biggie, Munchy, Stingy, Intrepid, Gabby, Shitsnacks, Packy, Growly, Sleazy, Pervy, Ookey, Maggy, Slither, Effy, Jelly, Freezy, Snuggy, Dippy, Toothy, Banger, Loathsome, Smelly, Loofa, Eerie, Jenny, Zoidberg, Fatty, Porkey, Cutty, Brazen, Krabby, Outlandish, Irony, Queasey, Juicy, Ugly, Wonky, Appealing, Lectory, Terminator, Off-putting, Shorty, Irregular, Hissy, Silky, Hardy, Whacker, Ginny, Pammy, Lovely, Chasey, Numby, Abba, Unmentionable, Phreaky, Gawkey, Spooly, Dairy, Flamy, Pickley, Jammy, Croaky, Diehardy, Sordid, Boasty, Rumbly, Klepto, Siggy, Serendipity, Touchy, Thrifty, Cassy, Noxy, Woggly, Gaggy, Beauty, Bluto, Easty, Larky, Sleepy, Hottie, Cloggy, Muffy, Busty, Flouncy, Oly, Wordy, Floopy, Bently, Winky, Rampy, Twitty, Rutty, Witchy, Boxey, Sexy, Sicky, Blazey, Googly, Chemistry, Humpy, Bloggy, Palsey, Tranny, Nipply, Creepy, Jumpy, Weekly, Dready, Burny, Stjnky, Potty, Poofey, Affable, Sippy, Yeachy, Volatile, Jacky, Pokey, Tumbly, Stinky, Hippie, Restless, Frosty, Slicey, Grabby, Bashful, Milky, Lenny, Slick, Losty, Dramatic, Subliminal, Peeny, Inserty, Botfly, Whipser, Edgy, Strutty, Gamey, Goaty, Slammy, Hickey, Murdery, Lickey, Quiet, Bastard, Sprainy, Griefy, Freeky, Snicky, Snobby, Destructive, Pagey, Hefty, Freepy, Dreamy, Tinny, Jaunty, Larpy, Yelpy, Pumpy, Techey, Wackey, Krappy, Porky, Banny, Lawdy, Spikey, Noxious, Robby, Forky, Woeful, Cringley, Roasty, Grumpy, Queefy, Slabby, Qwerty, Oaky, Rusty, Donner, Bitey, Ernie, Bratty, Reddy, Alky, Pearly, Tooky, Clingy, Rapey, Contagious, Wheezy, Toasty, Nosy, Hungry, Cupid, Woofy, Wicked, Kitty, Slappy, Silly, Oogly, Quagmire, Chumpy, Spocky, Secretive, Yukku, Checky, Goofy, Porney, Seepy, Angry, Junkie, Dumpy, Cagey, Handy, Ghastly, Bunny, Narky, Crummy, Tipsey, Wizzy, Peachy, Splashy, Frighty, Towley, Rangey, Twitchy, Birdy, Blotty, Wheely, Tweety, Mealy, Tazey, Boozy, Mopey, Icky, Hacky, Mental, Pasty, Guffy, Yelly, Picky, Lucy, Bloody, Doomy, Balky, Sharky, Moby, Tastey, Clunky, Happy, Nancy, Fry, Puke, Zany, Sweaty, Pimply, Poppy, Testy, Classy, Scratchy, Righty, Smegma, Pissy, Schmutzy, Proxy, Preachy, Prey, Baddy, Westy, Clumsey, Jumbo, Pawy, Jaundiced, Masturbatey, Spasms, Wiley, Pukey, Havok, Puffy, Startled, Prissy, Snoopy, Ruffian, Iggy, Acid-Refluxy, Nifty, Dressy, Gomer, Flabby, Deadly, Smalls, Neurotic, Hideous, Shecky, Blondy, Skunky, Yummy, Victor, Jewy, Arny, Neuty, Biff, Toady, Humpty, Moogly, Grassy, Corny, Feisty, Angsty, Creamy, Techy, Lopsey, Queeny, Stretchy, Mo, Spanks, Regretful, Snarfly, Underpants, Ready, Lanky, Splenda, Naggy, Faily, Yakky, Sizzly, Jokey, Pacey, Spooey, Traumatic, Screamy, Tucker, Pimpy, Beady, Roughy, Snoozy, Roofy, Quimbly, Brewy, Gumby, Pointy, Hooky, Writey, Shimmy, Bulgy, Nootsy, Bingey, Mooby, Dunky, Sully, Neurtsy, Woey, Jiggy, Prietsly, Terry, Forgetful, Comfy, Romney, Campy, Northy, Giggidy, Dipsy, Beefy, Poledancey, Apocalypse, Woozy, Evil, Talky, Vapid, Freaky, Whackey, Inserto, Bleaty, Chufty, Scuzzy, Crispy, Tepid, Snazzy, Sqealy, Grotty, Jimmy, Nanny, Godlike, Furious, Booty, Wolfy, Cumpy, Toily, Crumbly, Biggo, Boggly, Ironic, Belchy, Flaily, Killy, Puggy, Wendy, Gloomy, Verbosity, Listless, Twisty, Waffles, Archy, Wheatley, Iconic, Klassy, Pauley, Bruiser, Prefunctory, Ruffy, Poopy, Zuckerman, Snappy, Oily, Shakes, Yiles, Priggy, Airy, Godly, Hotty, Lassy, Fudgy, Wooky, Bursty, Leggy, Soggy, Soulful, Walky, Unkillable, Bindlestiff, Pathy, Soothy, Lolzy, Spiffy, Trekky, Toothsome, Goldy, Daffy, Yucky, Pappy, Snowy, Dancy, Sappy, Lana, Cursey, Drippy, Cackles, Fuzzy, Malignant, Ghosty, Quality, Hurty, Schulty, Fizzy, Toughy, Tweaky, Starry, Jigsaw, Piney, Magnanimous, Softy, Denty, Damned, Intolerable, Dodgey, Spazzy, Ropey, Socky, Moomoo, Sammy, Dampy, Cracky, Zippy, Whorey, Likey, Wooy, Spewy, Farty, Perthy, Kinky, Peely, Wetone, Squeaky, Frenzy, Noisy, Danny, Flippy, Fartsy, Gravy, Barfy, Loopy, Regular, Nedly, Quacky, Sloppy, Snooki, Crampy, Wetty, Appealy, Boofy, Snotty, Kwazy, Nutty, Regal, Zappy, Candy, Scary, Shakey, Yeasty, Trampy, Runty, Turgid, Icey, Dusty, Adolph, Pocky, Shitty, Nasty, Cranny, Mommy, Monkey, Prickley, Lumpy, Snippy, Quaffy, Wendigo, Opulent, Henny, Prancer, Pervo, Pippy, Rotund, Cavey, Dazzle, Clooney, Rumpy, Pudgy, Spunky, Ralfy, Questy, Dwarfy, Limpy, Rugby, Junky, Insideous, Assy, Hizzy, Hotsy, Honey, Punky, Blingy, Spinny, Nicky, Spindly, Lacey, Banshee, Feely, Baldy, Rabbity, Lunky, Swarley, Damply, Whiley, Splattery, Squirty, Alcoholic, Foggy, Denny, Berty, Zinny, Mammy, Delicious, Dropsey, Vixen, Beary, Beatlejuice, Knobby, Loudly, Meaty, Teethy, Drinky, Woz, Wanky, Scuffy, Swimmy, Gummy, Posse, Milly, Wallop, Pouty, Ruby, Chicken, Poofy, Funny, Smugly, Spinry, Grimey, Ripley, Savory, Schmuckey, Stainy, Quivery, Pooly, Droopy, Lappy, Herpy, Able, Goosey, Dapper, Beasty, Dazy, Giggy, Drowsy, Lowly, Coolie, Slutty, Burby, Nippy, Firey, Sniffy, Glassy, Factory, Cheney, Slidey, Chippy, Kludgy, Orly, Meany, Kreepy, Pooley, Ninja, Whizzy, Victim, Iffy, Saggy, Kenny, Floppy, Nabby, Sickley, Groggy, Liquidity, Hussy, Jinxy, Kewpie, Lampy, Saxy, Dexter, Doleful, Dandy, Peggy, Mooey, Slashy, Drunkey, Homo, Rolly, Hoggly, Healy, Salty, Gropey, Ghouley, Whirley, Faggy, Weedy, Teaser, Dasher, Ego, Artsy, Quippy, Insanity, Beastly, Chappy, Sparky, Zesty, Tasty, Bumpy, Tappy, Uggy, Herky, Greasy, Weakly, Grungy, Jeery, Menthol, Ouchy, Trollface, Morty, Pandy, Scooby, Miley, Racky, Upchuck, Stumpy, Spongy, Slurpy, Kiley, Tummy, Incindiary, Tokey, Flighty, Pussy, Porker, Pranky, Itchy, Spongey, Fuckey, Stuffy, Quiver, Dreary, Ravey, Dirtzy, Tanky, Crabby, Besty, Dregs, Killzy, Wackry, Daisy, Killer, Chevy, Tacky, Stimpy, Tiny, Buffy, Piggie, Crufty, Stabby, Oozey, Unlucky, Beatnik, Twitly, Kingly, Aery, Ogly, Gimpy, Shanky, Trippy, Fingery, Trumpy, Quackey, Cringey, Hokey, Emergency, Flowery, Tinky, Wifey, Crowley, Gassy, Gingery, Bobby, Tender, Penny, Nutso, Mighty, Crazy, Klinky, Blitzen, Clappy, Slitty, Leaky, Queasy, Wallaby, Buddy, Bootlicker, Peeky, Sadistic, Lovey, Glowy, Pickles, Gingerly, Misty, Lofty, Mickey, Wrappy, Ridiculous, Perky, Tangly, Sprockets, Lackey, Awful, Crassy, Runny, Nasal, Frigid, Doggy, Leafy, Planty, Stealthy, Soapy, Draggy, Queery, Texty, Undie, Davey, Fucky, Futurey, Lefty, Sickly, Diseased, Cranky, Nukey, Gangly, Totty, Dummy, Flakey, Lizzy, Tighty, Froggy, Gunny, Doily, Blotto, Seizey, Lazy, Venty, Blacky, Sandy, Immotral, Spangly, Clowny, Falsey, Loosey, Hanky, Wavy, Shifty, Annoying, Navy, Broody, Cunty, Impressy, Tuffy, Anonymous, Dickey, Pugly, Trolly, Kissy, Reflexy, Prawny, Obnoxious, Duffy, Kingy, Clicky, Nosey, Weepy, Phony, Frenny, Blinky, Neutral, Icony, Southy, Jetty, Teeny, Brutus, Wiffy, Smuggy, Busy, Plucky, Fisty, Spotty, Smokey, Chokey, Lippy, Tammy, Baggy, Powerless, Whitey, Typo, Mimsey, Tiki, Slurpee, Tearful, Flamey, Boozey, Moochy, Jewlery, Wobbly, Bossy, Randy, Curmudgeon, Grampy, Treacherous, Tonedeaf, Handsy, Speedy, Lulzy, Marty, Smacky, Rooky, Frightened, Piggly, Artful, Plowy, Bitchy, Barky, Preppy, Sunny, Rocky, Whappy, Hiney, Spanky, Whammy, Deafy, Mathy, Brainy, Fishy, Barfly, Swifty, Clueless, Dizzy, Lordy, Swindly, Pony, Snooty, Twix, Banksy, Wisty, Squirmy, Brewery, Scrappy, Slippy, Trollop, Ballsy, Willy, Rappy, Sneezy, Addy, Icy, Earny, Fidgety, Schooly, Klangy, Wistful, Metal, Lucky, Obsessive, Henzy, Huggy, Sassy, Agey, Pinky, Horny, Benny, Passy, Tingly, Rippy, Reagal, Freebie, Tossy, Slippery, Touchey, Kermy, Wiggly, Druggy, Hippy, Sweety, Dougie, Crappy, Peaty, Nazi, Faulty, Swirley, Crunchy, Bully, Flambe, Biddy, Hoppy, Bangy, Punny, Unsavory, Derpy, Jizzy, Ratty, Unlikable, Gently, Droppy, Ren, Smithy, Knotty, Deady, Chicky, Jerky, Flatulent, Billy, Pithy, Humphrey, Hansel, Poopie, Snuggly, Loki, Dopey, Yippy, Ridonkulous, Cody, Blatty, Renny, Parky, Prancy, Banananery, Yukky, Cheaty, Lossy, Scruffy, Silty, and Drifty." Snow White laughed and clapped her hands with delight. "My, there certainly are a lot of you! I'm ever so sorry for barging in here uninvited, but I don't really have a home any more... would you mind terribly if I stayed for awhile? I can cook and clean and--" Doc raised a hand, interrupting her gently. "We'd be honored if you stayed!" All 1026 dwarfs nodded in agreement, and were so thrilled they threw Snow White a party to celebrate their new friendship. The party lasted late into the evening, and everyone passed out with full tummies and a happy smile lighting their faces. The next day the dwarfs arose early and prepared for work. Snow White cooked them breakfast and when it was time to leave they all lined up at the door to bid her farewell for the day. Snow White expressed her gratitude by kissing each dwarf on the forehead: Smarmy, Ragey, Explainy, Glossy, Pookie, Pesty, Grippy, Inebriated, Teary, Swampy, Piggy, Catty, Hitler, Stroky, Zombie, Mooky, Tandy, Fakey, Twinky, Biggie, Munchy, Stingy, Intrepid, Gabby, Shitsnacks, Packy, Growly, Sleazy, Pervy, Ookey, Maggy, Slither, Effy, Jelly, Freezy, Snuggy, Dippy, Toothy, Banger, Loathsome, Smelly, Loofa, Eerie, Jenny, Zoidberg, Fatty, Porkey, Cutty, Brazen, Krabby, Outlandish, Irony, Queasey, Juicy, Ugly, Wonky, Appealing, Lectory, Terminator, Off-putting, Shorty, Irregular, Hissy, Silky, Hardy, Whacker, Ginny, Pammy, Lovely, Chasey, Numby, Abba, Unmentionable, Phreaky, Gawkey, Spooly, Dairy, Flamy, Pickley, Jammy, Croaky, Diehardy, Sordid, Boasty, Rumbly, Klepto, Siggy, Serendipity, Touchy, Thrifty, Cassy, Noxy, Woggly, Gaggy, Beauty, Bluto, Easty, Larky, Sleepy, Hottie, Cloggy, Muffy, Busty, Flouncy, Oly, Wordy, Floopy, Bently, Winky, Rampy, Twitty, Rutty, Witchy, Boxey, Sexy, Sicky, Blazey, Googly, Chemistry, Humpy, Bloggy, Palsey, Tranny, Nipply, Creepy, Jumpy, Weekly, Dready, Burny, Stjnky, Potty, Poofey, Affable, Sippy, Yeachy, Volatile, Jacky, Pokey, Tumbly, Stinky, Hippie, Restless, Frosty, Slicey, Grabby, Bashful, Milky, Lenny, Slick, Losty, Dramatic, Subliminal, Peeny, Inserty, Botfly, Whipser, Edgy, Strutty, Gamey, Goaty, Slammy, Hickey, Murdery, Lickey, Quiet, Bastard, Sprainy, Griefy, Freeky, Snicky, Snobby, Destructive, Pagey, Hefty, Freepy, Dreamy, Tinny, Jaunty, Larpy, Yelpy, Pumpy, Techey, Wackey, Krappy, Porky, Banny, Lawdy, Spikey, Noxious, Robby, Forky, Woeful, Cringley, Roasty, Grumpy, Queefy, Slabby, Qwerty, Oaky, Rusty, Donner, Bitey, Ernie, Bratty, Reddy, Alky, Pearly, Tooky, Clingy, Rapey, Contagious, Wheezy, Toasty, Nosy, Hungry, Cupid, Woofy, Wicked, Kitty, Slappy, Silly, Oogly, Quagmire, Chumpy, Spocky, Secretive, Yukku, Checky, Goofy, Porney, Seepy, Angry, Junkie, Dumpy, Cagey, Handy, Ghastly, Bunny, Narky, Crummy, Tipsey, Wizzy, Peachy, Splashy, Frighty, Towley, Rangey, Twitchy, Birdy, Blotty, Wheely, Tweety, Mealy, Tazey, Boozy, Mopey, Icky, Hacky, Mental, Pasty, Guffy, Yelly, Picky, Lucy, Bloody, Doomy, Balky, Sharky, Moby, Tastey, Clunky, Happy, Nancy, Fry, Puke, Zany, Sweaty, Pimply, Poppy, Testy, Classy, Scratchy, Righty, Smegma, Pissy, Schmutzy, Proxy, Preachy, Prey, Baddy, Westy, Clumsey, Jumbo, Pawy, Jaundiced, Masturbatey, Spasms, Wiley, Pukey, Havok, Puffy, Startled, Prissy, Snoopy, Ruffian, Iggy, Acid-Refluxy, Nifty, Dressy, Gomer, Flabby, Deadly, Smalls, Neurotic, Hideous, Shecky, Blondy, Skunky, Yummy, Victor, Jewy, Arny, Neuty, Biff, Toady, Humpty, Moogly, Grassy, Corny, Feisty, Angsty, Creamy, Techy, Lopsey, Queeny, Stretchy, Mo, Spanks, Regretful, Snarfly, Underpants, Ready, Lanky, Splenda, Naggy, Faily, Yakky, Sizzly, Jokey, Pacey, Spooey, Traumatic, Screamy, Tucker, Pimpy, Beady, Roughy, Snoozy, Roofy, Quimbly, Brewy, Gumby, Pointy, Hooky, Writey, Shimmy, Bulgy, Nootsy, Bingey, Mooby, Dunky, Sully, Neurtsy, Woey, Jiggy, Prietsly, Terry, Forgetful, Comfy, Romney, Campy, Northy, Giggidy, Dipsy, Beefy, Poledancey, Apocalypse, Woozy, Evil, Talky, Vapid, Freaky, Whackey, Inserto, Bleaty, Chufty, Scuzzy, Crispy, Tepid, Snazzy, Sqealy, Grotty, Jimmy, Nanny, Godlike, Furious, Booty, Wolfy, Cumpy, Toily, Crumbly, Biggo, Boggly, Ironic, Belchy, Flaily, Killy, Puggy, Wendy, Gloomy, Verbosity, Listless, Twisty, Waffles, Archy, Wheatley, Iconic, Klassy, Pauley, Bruiser, Prefunctory, Ruffy, Poopy, Zuckerman, Snappy, Oily, Shakes, Yiles, Priggy, Airy, Godly, Hotty, Lassy, Fudgy, Wooky, Bursty, Leggy, Soggy, Soulful, Walky, Unkillable, Bindlestiff, Pathy, Soothy, Lolzy, Spiffy, Trekky, Toothsome, Goldy, Daffy, Yucky, Pappy, Snowy, Dancy, Sappy, Lana, Cursey, Drippy, Cackles, Fuzzy, Malignant, Ghosty, Quality, Hurty, Schulty, Fizzy, Toughy, Tweaky, Starry, Jigsaw, Piney, Magnanimous, Softy, Denty, Damned, Intolerable, Dodgey, Spazzy, Ropey, Socky, Moomoo, Sammy, Dampy, Cracky, Zippy, Whorey, Likey, Wooy, Spewy, Farty, Perthy, Kinky, Peely, Wetone, Squeaky, Frenzy, Noisy, Danny, Flippy, Fartsy, Gravy, Barfy, Loopy, Regular, Nedly, Quacky, Sloppy, Snooki, Crampy, Wetty, Appealy, Boofy, Snotty, Kwazy, Nutty, Regal, Zappy, Candy, Scary, Shakey, Yeasty, Trampy, Runty, Turgid, Icey, Dusty, Adolph, Pocky, Shitty, Nasty, Cranny, Mommy, Monkey, Prickley, Lumpy, Snippy, Quaffy, Wendigo, Opulent, Henny, Prancer, Pervo, Pippy, Rotund, Cavey, Dazzle, Clooney, Rumpy, Pudgy, Spunky, Ralfy, Questy, Dwarfy, Limpy, Rugby, Junky, Insideous, Assy, Hizzy, Hotsy, Honey, Punky, Blingy, Spinny, Nicky, Spindly, Lacey, Banshee, Feely, Baldy, Rabbity, Lunky, Swarley, Damply, Whiley, Splattery, Squirty, Alcoholic, Foggy, Denny, Berty, Zinny, Mammy, Delicious, Dropsey, Vixen, Beary, Beatlejuice, Knobby, Loudly, Meaty, Teethy, Drinky, Woz, Wanky, Scuffy, Swimmy, Gummy, Posse, Milly, Wallop, Pouty, Ruby, Chicken, Poofy, Funny, Smugly, Spinry, Grimey, Ripley, Savory, Schmuckey, Stainy, Quivery, Pooly, Droopy, Lappy, Herpy, Able, Goosey, Dapper, Beasty, Dazy, Giggy, Drowsy, Lowly, Coolie, Slutty, Burby, Nippy, Firey, Sniffy, Glassy, Factory, Cheney, Slidey, Chippy, Kludgy, Orly, Meany, Kreepy, Pooley, Ninja, Whizzy, Victim, Iffy, Saggy, Kenny, Floppy, Nabby, Sickley, Groggy, Liquidity, Hussy, Jinxy, Kewpie, Lampy, Saxy, Dexter, Doleful, Dandy, Peggy, Mooey, Slashy, Drunkey, Homo, Rolly, Hoggly, Healy, Salty, Gropey, Ghouley, Whirley, Faggy, Weedy, Teaser, Dasher, Ego, Artsy, Quippy, Insanity, Beastly, Chappy, Sparky, Zesty, Tasty, Bumpy, Tappy, Uggy, Herky, Greasy, Weakly, Grungy, Jeery, Menthol, Ouchy, Trollface, Morty, Pandy, Scooby, Miley, Racky, Upchuck, Stumpy, Spongy, Slurpy, Kiley, Tummy, Incindiary, Tokey, Flighty, Pussy, Porker, Pranky, Itchy, Spongey, Fuckey, Stuffy, Quiver, Dreary, Ravey, Dirtzy, Tanky, Crabby, Besty, Dregs, Killzy, Wackry, Daisy, Killer, Chevy, Tacky, Stimpy, Tiny, Buffy, Piggie, Crufty, Stabby, Oozey, Unlucky, Beatnik, Twitly, Kingly, Aery, Ogly, Gimpy, Shanky, Trippy, Fingery, Trumpy, Quackey, Cringey, Hokey, Emergency, Flowery, Tinky, Wifey, Crowley, Gassy, Gingery, Bobby, Tender, Penny, Nutso, Mighty, Crazy, Klinky, Blitzen, Clappy, Slitty, Leaky, Queasy, Wallaby, Buddy, Bootlicker, Peeky, Sadistic, Lovey, Glowy, Pickles, Gingerly, Misty, Lofty, Mickey, Wrappy, Ridiculous, Perky, Tangly, Sprockets, Lackey, Awful, Crassy, Runny, Nasal, Frigid, Doggy, Leafy, Planty, Stealthy, Soapy, Draggy, Queery, Texty, Undie, Davey, Fucky, Futurey, Lefty, Sickly, Diseased, Cranky, Nukey, Gangly, Totty, Dummy, Flakey, Lizzy, Tighty, Froggy, Gunny, Doily, Blotto, Seizey, Lazy, Venty, Blacky, Sandy, Immotral, Spangly, Clowny, Falsey, Loosey, Hanky, Wavy, Shifty, Annoying, Navy, Broody, Cunty, Impressy, Tuffy, Anonymous, Dickey, Pugly, Trolly, Kissy, Reflexy, Prawny, Obnoxious, Duffy, Kingy, Clicky, Nosey, Weepy, Phony, Frenny, Blinky, Neutral, Icony, Southy, Jetty, Teeny, Brutus, Wiffy, Smuggy, Busy, Plucky, Fisty, Spotty, Smokey, Chokey, Lippy, Tammy, Baggy, Powerless, Whitey, Typo, Mimsey, Tiki, Slurpee, Tearful, Flamey, Boozey, Moochy, Jewlery, Wobbly, Bossy, Randy, Curmudgeon, Grampy, Treacherous, Tonedeaf, Handsy, Speedy, Lulzy, Marty, Smacky, Rooky, Frightened, Piggly, Artful, Plowy, Bitchy, Barky, Preppy, Sunny, Rocky, Whappy, Hiney, Spanky, Whammy, Deafy, Mathy, Brainy, Fishy, Barfly, Swifty, Clueless, Dizzy, Lordy, Swindly, Pony, Snooty, Twix, Banksy, Wisty, Squirmy, Brewery, Scrappy, Slippy, Trollop, Ballsy, Willy, Rappy, Sneezy, Addy, Icy, Earny, Fidgety, Schooly, Klangy, Wistful, Metal, Lucky, Obsessive, Henzy, Huggy, Sassy, Agey, Pinky, Horny, Benny, Passy, Tingly, Rippy, Reagal, Freebie, Tossy, Slippery, Touchey, Kermy, Wiggly, Druggy, Hippy, Sweety, Dougie, Crappy, Peaty, Nazi, Faulty, Swirley, Crunchy, Bully, Flambe, Biddy, Hoppy, Bangy, Punny, Unsavory, Derpy, Jizzy, Ratty, Unlikable, Gently, Droppy, Ren, Smithy, Knotty, Deady, Chicky, Jerky, Flatulent, Billy, Pithy, Humphrey, Hansel, Poopie, Snuggly, Loki, Dopey, Yippy, Ridonkulous, Cody, Blatty, Renny, Parky, Prancy, Banananery, Yukky, Cheaty, Lossy, Scruffy, Silty, and Drifty each trooped past Snow White and received a farewell kiss and by the time she reached the end of the line her lips fell off.

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rahirah · 5 years ago

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A Cautionary Tail

New Post has been published on http://sleepingjaguars.com/WordPress/fanfic/a-cautionary-tail/

A Cautionary Tail

Synopsis: In which Our Heroes shop for groceries. Author’s notes: This story takes place in the same universe as “Raising In the Sun,” “Necessary Evils,” and “A Parliament of Monsters.” It’s set some time in 2007, and contains spoilers for POM. Unbeta’d, extremely silly, and all ‘s fault for saying, “Next on Bangel Paradise (or Spuffy Heaven)…Buffy and Spike (or Angel) go out and buy cat food for their kitten Ralph and play rock paper scissors to see who washes the dishes.”

Forefinger indenting her lower lip, Buffy perused the row of brightly colored boxes, each emblazoned with an illustration of feline ecstacy more suitable to a low-life catnip joint than a suburban kitchen. “How old do you think Ralph is?” she asked.

“What bloody difference does that make?” Spike demanded. Billy took advantage of his distraction to lean over the edge of the shopping cart and snag a can of Yummy Meow-Meow Liver Snaps. Wresting the doubtless melamine-infested tin from their son’s eager fingers, he added, “Ralph?”

Billy stretched out both hands for his can and burst into howls of thwarted, yellow-eyed fury. “Noooooooo, Daddy! Give back!”

“I was just wondering if we should get cat chow or kitten chow. And we have to call it something.” Buffy examined the ingredients on the nearest box with a frown. “Billy, honey, you can’t have any liver. You’ll spoil your dinner.”

“What we call it – ” Spike vamped out, bared his fangs and growled. Billy, wide-eyed, cut off mid-wail. “- is ‘valuable.’ It’s not a pet. It’s a sodding hellcat. A familiar in the making. And it’s already bought and paid for. By someone who’s not us.” He glanced down the aisle in hopes of spotting another customer he could chuck the tin at. No such luck. He contented himself with sticking it back on the wrong shelf instead.

Buffy set the box of cat food down with a pout remarkably similar to the one their son was working on. “I know, but there’s no reason it has to go hungry till Whatsisnoggin the Magnificent deigns to pick it up. Besides, it’s kind of cute, in a slavering, fangy way. You know I go for that kind of thing.” She stood on tiptoe and planted a kiss between his brow ridges. “Ever since Tara took Miss Kitty back – ”

“Kitty?” Billy brightened. Or looked hungry. Hard to tell at that age.

“Oh, no, you don’t, you conniving minx,” Spike said, with all due manly firmness in the face of domestic crisis. “Only beasties we’re harboring from now on are light snacks for yours truly. I’m putting my foot down.”

“OK, fine,” Buffy said, in the dulcet tones that meant I have not yet begun to fight.. “No more pets.” She wheeled the cart around and headed for the canned goods. “But you have to do the dishes tonight.”

“I did ’em last night!”

Buffy dismissed this with a sniff. “You did the ones in the sink. The seventeen blood-crusted mugs scattered around the living room remain miraculously unwashed.”

“Can’t,” Spike countered. There were things a bloke did, and things a bloke didn’t, and dishes definitely fell into the latter category. Except when they didn’t, which happened far too often for his liking. “Got an order to fill for Consolidated Curses by Thursday. Ornelik pelt. Dangerous business, hunting Orneliks. No time for crockery.”

“Ditto on the can’tness,” Buffy replied, cool as the proverbial organic cucumber. “Hot patrol night. Potential evil cultitude to foil down by the docks.” She eyed him up and down with a wicked grin. “Wrestle you for it.”

“Thought we were supposed to be setting a good example.” Spike nodded at the cart, where Billy’s attention had been momentarily diverted by the opportunity to dismantle a display pyramid of creamed corn. “None of that nasty violence.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow. “What, you’d rather do rock, paper, scissors?”

Spike licked his fangs and grinned. “I’d win. None of your friends’ve got a rock this big.”

The display collapsed in a canonade of bouncing, rolling aluminum. Spike whisked his son out of the way of the Del Monte avalanche. “New kitty, Mommy!” Billy caroled, brandishing a can of trophy corn. “Kitty, kitty, kitty!”

“See, Billy likes Ralph,” Buffy wheedled.

Spike shook his head gravely. “Don’t think so, pet. Boy’s a little too young yet to properly appreciate pussy.”

END

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thatfuzzyfamiliarspace · 2 years ago

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The past three days. Where do I start ?

Saturday, we woke up and went for unlimited pancakes on the pancake boat !! Those were THE most bestest bacon pancakes I’ve ever had. It was so much fun and we ate far too much.

Then we went back and chilled so he didn’t have to look at all the pride stuff XD but we went out and got food and some food dank and got fucked back at the suite. That was a really good and funny night. It was nice to get stoned with him. After always being the one who’s licked it’s refreshing to have us both on the same wavelength.

Sunday was probably my fav day. Got up, got dressed all cute, went for pancakes (shocker) for breakfast, then went to the Ripley museum which was way more fun than I expected. We got funny n cute pics and vids. He got me a lucky penny ! We went back to the suite, and we tried some impact play. Which I was really nervous about. On the first day he picked out all the heavy gear and seemed so excited to use it. I wanted to let him but I couldn’t get to that severity. If it were just 2 hits, one either side, I could’ve gotten more tools used on me. But he does so many I could barely carry on after the 4th thing he used. I got so upset that I couldn’t go further. But it is what it is. Just need more practice as time. I’m not sure when it happened, but he came upstairs and started fucking me, it’s the way he initiated everything that really got me going and into that kinda headspace so quickly. He was making me feel so good, and it just came out. I told him I loved him !! I’d been wanting to say it for some time now. I never knew when a good time would be. But I’m happy I said it when I did. The way he fucked me after was everything I wanted. I wanted THAT reaction. It was a huge deal for me to say. and I think he tried to recognise that as much as possible. I did want it to seem like a bigger deal but I’m not upset with his reaction. We then got ready and went out to the strip club !! Omg, omggggg what an amazing night. I still can’t get the images outta my head which bloody says sommin. They were so hot. I just got to openly look at womens bodies with no issues. The first one we got was the most attractive girl in there. But the one I got after her, she was so fun, let me touch her. PULLED MY TOP UP AND RUBBED HER BOOBS ON MY BOOBS !! She motor boated my face.. I had so much ass and pussy swinging around Jheeze. I’d go every weekend and go bankrupt for women like that. Like damn I’m way more gay that I think I am. God it was so fun. And it was fun to watch him get dances too. I’d do it many a time again. We got drunk and went back to the suite, drunk more and smoked. We got so fucked that I just passed out asleep. But it was sucha fun night.

Today was melancholic, it was sad to leave Dam but we still went and got yummy pancakes, went to my fav coffeeshop and smoked. And I’m just so excited to go back with him again. The fact we done so much yet still have so much to do next time we come back. It was shit to hear Georgia messaged him. I’ve tried to keep her out my head for as long as possible. The fact he said he wouldn’t think about it and then proceeded to keep bringing it up. Idk. He says he’s blocked her now. So that’s it really, ain’t it. We had a funny journey from the train station to and through the airport. And him planning out next holiday before the first one had even ended made me super happy. I can’t wait to travel the world with him.

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the-fiction-witch · 7 years ago

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Last Name

TV SHOW: GODLESS COUPLE: WHITEY WINN X READER RATING: SMUTTY + CUTE

Part 1: Last Night

Part 2: Last Debts

Part 3: Last dollar and eighty eight

Y/N POV:

“now little lady, I believe it’s time for your daily spanking” he smirks

“Ummm I think it is whitey” I giggle

“I still don’t see how this is a punishment you like it so much” he smirks

“It makes me good” I smirk

“It does, but I wonder if there something else I could do to make you a good girl” he smirks kissing down my neck “Hu what do you think y/n?” he smirks

“well maybe there is” i smirk as I felt his hand moving towards my pussy “but” i smirk grabbing his hand “I paid for a spanking to make me good” I smirk sitting up on his lap a moment kissing up his neck “didn't I, you know the agreement as well as I do whitey” I smirk moving my hand down to slowly tease his cock though his pants “I pay my dollar eighty eight cents and my sexy husband spanks me good, then when the pretty little wifey is back to being a good girl again she sucks her husband till he screams or he’s dry which ever he wants” I smirk making him groan

“But...I’m not your husband yet” he smirked

“Yet?” I giggle “planning on marrying me so soon?” I smirk

“i was actually, would think my sexy wife would want her spankings free as soon as possible” he smirks

“That would be nice” I giggle

“and darlin’ umm” he groans grinding against me “think of the honeymoon” he moans

“Ummm the one night for a couple to get kinky and have a uncountable about of sex...we do that anyway” I giggle

“I know, think of what I could do to you on our wedding night...or Uhh what you could do to me” he smirks before pushing me off him a deep look of lust in his eyes sitting on his bed normally putting his leg so I smirk getting up un tieing my dress at the back so the bottom skirt simply slips off as I stand in front of him making him smirk as I step over sitting on his lap “You are being very bad little lady” he smirks and I dont reply just press little kisses to his neck sucking and biting leaving a hickey on his neck before he pushed me away from his neck “ah ah little lady, dont you go givin’ me love bites” he smirks pushing me down so i laid over his knee his hand on the small of my back moving to caress my curves more notably on my ass “dont you make a sound, else...no more snuggling” he tells me so I sigh biting my lip as his hand goes away and soon enough spanks my ass hard and I just groan in response to his hand squeezing my ass spanking me hard again and again and again and again each time harder and rougher on me

“UHHH WHITEY!” I moan loudly

“No sounds else no snuggles, I’ll let you off just this once cause I now how horny you are” he smirks spanking me hard again having to pinch myself trying not to moan until at last he finished with me so I got up and pushed him flat on his bed sitting over him like he had done to me earlier “My Naughty little wifey back to being a good girl now?” he smirks

“Yes whitey” I giggle “Now does my sexy husband want to scream or until dry tonight?” I giggle

“Ummm tempting but...i’m not to sure” he smirks as I slip every piece of clothing he had off and onto the floor but leaving his pants around his ankles watching him squirm naked against his bed “Y/n?” he asks

“yes whitey” I giggle

“Suck me dry Please” he begs moaning a little his head rolling back against his pillow

“ask me properly and I will” I giggle

“Miss Y/n please suck my cock dry” he begs “Uhh Please PLEASE! I can’t take it you sat over me half bloody naked, the cold air against my hard cock i cant take it Please Please touch him, kiss him Play around all you bloody watch just touch me Please Y/n my darling” he begs

“alright then whitey if your so desperate for it” I giggle bending down pressing tiny kisses to his exposed, hard, throbbing, desperate Head making him moan louder then ever his cock even shaking he was so needy “why are you shaking so much whitey, it’s not like this is the first time he’s been in my mouth” I giggle

“He knows what your gonna do to him, he’s excited” he smirks

“Oh really this is how excited he gets at the idea of going in my mouth again” i giggle and he just nods with a groan “love to see what he does now” I giggle sitting up and moving forward and before whitey could even speak I sat down on him running his cock between the lips of my pussy

“OH GOD Y/N DARLING!” he screams very very eager so I sat up a little more my hands sliding down his bare chest till my hand met his hand rock standing it tall allowing me to easily slip down onto him my pussy stretching still not used to him being so big inside me spreading my legs around him further for better mobility as I move up and down forwards and backwards slowly riding him just a few short little movements where all I had to do “YES YES! Y/N PLEASE OH GOD Y/N Y/N Y/N!” he screams grabbing my hips but I push his hands away slowly undoing my top half of my dress while he was distracted throwing it to the floor

“Oh whitey” I giggle riding him slowly for a few seconds

“Oh Y/n My love What are you-” He begins before noting my bare chest my tits falling naturally his gazed burned me for a second and I could feel his cock twitch inside me uncontrollably “Y/n can I touch ya?” he asks sweetly and I nod his hands grabbing a breast each groaning as he groped them “Y/n ride me Please” he begs still paying with my tits so I slowly continued riding him his cock slipping so happily inside me with him moaning my name and curses over and over losing his mind over the pleasure I was giving him until he suddenly let go of my breasts and pushing me back so I feel off him and his cock left my pussy not even seconds later his cum sparyed everywhere exploding from his shaft all over him, his bed and a little on me I know some went on my breasts and a little on my hair “Uhhhhhhhh Oh Y/n” He groaned looking very tried all off a sudden

“Whitey” I giggled “what did ya do that for?” I ask

“Didn’t want to cum inside, dont wanna risk knocking ya up when I haven't even married ya yet” he moaned

“You didn't mind last night” i giggled

“Yeah well last night I wasn’t one hundred percent on you and me still being a thing at ten today” he sighed “You know as far as I knew you where going to hang a few hours later what would it matter if I knocked you up” he explained

“fine” I giggle getting the cum out of my hair and licking it off my hand before going down and licking his tastey cum off my breasts making him smirk at me rather enjoying the sight of me licking his cum of my tits before I bent down licking the cum off his head and going to continue licking it off his chest and abs

“what are ya doing y/n?” he asks

“don’t wanna waste a drop” I smirk as I lick up another drop from his body

“You really like my cum dont ya?” he smirks

“Its so tastey” I giggle as I finished licking every drop i could get and sitting up again “Yummy” I giggle licking my lips at him and suddenly his playful smirk changed to another look of un controllable lust as he flipped me over so I laid on his bed and he sat over me as he did up his pants

“i might be able to fuck ya for a while, but by god am I gonna treat my sexy wife to some pleasure for what she did to me” he smirks kissing me hard wrapping my legs around his waist until suddenly the door knocked loudly whitey sighs giving me a kiss before getting up doing his pants up properly and slipping his suspenders over his shoulders to make it look like he was just getting ready to bathe when he was interrupted going and opening the door making sure who ever is there cant see me as a wrap myself in his bed sheet it not leaving much to the imagination

“Evening Whitey” a female voice said at the door

“Oh hey Maggie..what’s up?” he asked her

“whats up? I brought you food you idiot” she says

“Oh well thanks Maggie..it’s just uh now might now be... the best time” he told her

“whitey I dont give a damn shit if your shirtless, i’ve seen damn worse when your mama used to have someone hold ya down to bathe ya” she says trying to come in

“No No! it’s not that I’m uhh Not alone” he whispers

“what you got a cat int here or somthing?” she asked making me giggle seeing my opportunity to both annoy him and well...mark my territory

“Oh Whitey...come back to bed baby” I beg loud enough so anyone at the door could here me

“who ya got in there whitey?” she asks laughing a little

“Knowone!” He says in panic

“I heard a female voice whitey, who ya got in there?” she smirked

“Knowone I swear” He says a little paniced so i just giggle knowing im getting him into all sorts of trouble but still wanting to make sure whoever is out there knows whitey’s mine

“Oh Whitey...come back to bed already my pussy needs you” I beg struggling not to giggle as a woman bursts though the door passing whitey to see me wrapped in his bed sheet on his bed naked this woman looked old in mens pants she looked like a cool lady

“Oh yeah...Whitey’s gonna take care of the new girl until her house is built, so my brother said yeah your taking real good care of her aint ya whitey” she smirked “I’ll let you two get on then” she laughed before going off again and whitey shut the door looking very mad at me

“what the hell was that little lady?” he asks sitting on the bed beside me

“marking my territory” I giggle snuggling on his neck and shoulder like a little kitten asking for love

“marking your- Ohhhh” he smirks finally getting what I was doing “Y/n, relax no girl around here is any threat to you, I promise, You aint gotta mark your territory every time a lady knocks on the door” he tells me “Okay? besides thats maggie she’s like like a aunt to me and she’s very much a thing with the school mistress” he explains

“Okay whitey” i giggle snuggling closer to him letting him wrap his arms around me and kissing my head before he tried to get me back to what we had been doing but I let him fall and get up and slip my under dress on

“where are you going?” he asked

“Know where I just wanna sleep, no more sexy stuff tonight whitey” I tell him sorting my hair out

“Oh but-” he begins

“No more, I’ve had enough for one night” I giggle

“Okay” he sighs leaning on the wall his bed is on “Y/n?” he asks

“Yes whitey?” I ask

“I now how we kinda joke around since we met about, you being my wife and all” he began

“Yeah” i blush

“you know, my naughty little wifey, I know we kinda do it like sexy talk and all but...would you actually maybe someday want to be my wife?” he asked

“Whitey..that’s a silly question, Of course I do, wouldn’t have gone along with it so long If I didnt” I giggle “and your the one saying yet like your gonna pop the question in a week” i giggle

“Maybe I am gonna ask ya?” he smirked getting up and turning me to face him holding me closely to him “Y/n will you marry me?” he asked and I just laughed “why are you laughing at me?” he asks very confused

“holly shit you where serious?” i ask “I thought you where kidding or at least being kinky again?” I say very puzzled

“No Y/n I’m serious, I love you and I wanna marry you” he smiles

“I love you to whitey but...don’t you think we’re maybe rushing into things?” I ask

“of course not, Y/n I love you, you took my virginity from me, what more do you want from me? I dont ever wanna be with anyone else, I want you to be my naughty little wifey forever” he smiles at me

“aww whitey, and I want you to be my sexy husband” I giggle giving him a kiss “Yes I will marry you whitey” I giggle

“Oh i love you y/n” he smiles hugging me tightly

“I love you too” I giggle hugging him close “whitey...I took your virginity...what about up your you know” I smirk

“Oh you mean my-” he begns

“is that intact for me to have?” I giggle

“i regret to tell you that...that virginity belongs to the broom handle” he blushes pointing to the broom in the corner seemly un used making me laugh “What! I got board and horny okay...I wanted to see if I like it” he blushed

“did you like it?” I giggle

“No I did not” he sighs going and getting changed for bed himself as I continued fixing my hair

“Y/n Winn” I giggle to myself

“I heard that” he smirks “Trying out my last name are ya?” he smirks

“Y/n Winn...Mrs Y/n Winn, it’s got a nice ring to it” I giggle ignoring his comment

“It does” He smirks “Mrs Winn” he smirks wrapping his arms around me tightly “Mrs Whitey Winn” he smirks

“Hey I’ll take your last name fine you can keep the first name I like mine thanks” I laugh

“I know, Mrs Y/n Winn, i do like that” He smirks

“So do I” I smile turning and wrapping my arms around his neck lazily “I love you whitey” I smile snuggling my head onto his bare chest

“i love you too Darlin’“ he smiles back kissing my head “come on it’s bed time” he smiles picking me up and carrying me to his bed laying me carefully in the corner of his bed so I got under the covers and picked up a little book from the table but i couldnt see much

“Whitey, do you have my bag from the sheriff?” I ask

“course I do...why?” He asks

“can you bring it here a minuet” I ask so he brings me my bag and I grab my glasses from it and give it back to him so he goes and puts it back as I slip them on and begin to read as he gets into bed beside me and notices my glasses “what?” I ask

“Ya look pretty with glasses” he smiles at me

“shut up” I tell him taking my glasses off and leaving them on the table with the book “Night whitey” I tell him giving him a kiss

“Night Hun” He tells me giving me a kiss as I turn away from him getting comfy in the bed and he turns away too looking the other way from me I was struggling to sleep for a while to ....i dont know to sleep but I kept my eyes shut anyway until I heard in the dark silence “Y/n? are you still awake?” he whispered

“Yes Whitey, what do you want?” I ask

“you know you asked me about my...you know” he smirks turning to face me and wrapping his arms around me

“Your what?” I ask

“You know my other Viginity” he smirks

“What about it?” I ask

“Do you...still have that one?” he asks

“Yes why?” I ask

“Just curious is all darlin’“ He smirks kissing my shoulder and I could feel his cock hard behind me I could guess what he was going to do to me but he just moved back to facing the other way in the bed and from what I could tell went to sleep so I sat up a little grumpy he would inquire about such a thing and then not do anything with that info I looked at him and from what I could tell he was dead asleep so I wrap my arms around him and kiss up his neck

“Whitey” I giggle slyly

“Ummm?” He groans

“I’m horny again” I tell him leaning my head on his shoulder

“Nope sorry Darlin’ your the one who sad no more sexy stuff tonight” he groans sleepily

“Ohhh but whitey” I complain

“nope not doing it” he laughs so I just sit there often poking him

“Whitey....Whitey........Whitey.....Whitey.....Whitey” I keep repeating

“Y/n...what do you want?” he sighs

“I’m horny” I complain

“I can’t honey, you sad no more sexy stuff the dick has shut down for tonight, would a snuggle do ya for now?” he asks so I nod and he turns so he’s laid on his back so I lay my head on his chest as well as my arm soon enough falling asleep on him....

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thewondersofsmut · 7 years ago

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Piece of Cake

Request: Hi! Can you make an imagine where Damon is having wild sex with the reader in the kitchen and she's bent over the counter? I love your blog!! ! – Anon, Idk if you'd be comfortable writing this, but could you maybe do a daddy Damon smut imagine? If not that's totally okay I get some people aren't comfortable that kinda stuff. – @artsyicon AND Could you do a song fic about Damon x reader with the song cake by Melanie Martinez? – @bloody-doctor

Pairings: Damon x Reader

Warnings: swearing, smut, fluff

Word Count: 1021

I combined these requests since, they’re so similar <3 Hope you guys like this story!

(gifs not mine, credits to owners)

"We'll be back in two days, please don't trash the house." Stefan said, about to leave the boarding house. "And you're part of that, (y/n)." He said, raising an eyebrow. "Jesus, Stef, just leave, be with Elena. God, we're not 5." You fake whined, Damon chuckling beside you. "We promise, brother." Damon sweetly said. "I just don't want to clean up a huge mess–" "Alright, let's leave the older people, huh." Elena said, giggling as she pulled Stefan out of the house and closing the door. You laughed, snuggling close to Damon's chest. Damon stroked down your arm and sighed, snuggling deeper. "I still ask myself 'how did a girl like you, fall into my arms'." You looked up to see him looking down at you. "Uh, because a badass person, such as you, is matched with an equally badass person, and that's who I am." You said, winking at him, causing him to chuckle and give a light kiss on top of your head.

"I didn't want sarcasm." He said. "Well, you're sarcastic, expect me to be one too." You pointedly said. "Touché." "I wanna do something fun!" You suddenly exclaimed, sitting up as you looked at him. He smirked and wiggled his eyes and in return you rolled your eyes at him. "Not that, silly!" You said. "Let's bake a cake!" "Really, (y/n), that's your definition of fun? And you know we will make a mess, right?" He asked. "So what, we're following brooding Stefan's rules now. Technically and physically, I'm older than him." You said, being the smart ass that you are. "It'll be a piece of cake." You said in a sing song voice. He rolled his eyes. "Come on then, let's go make some cake." He said, carrying you and speeding to the kitchen.

Damon's POV

I did so much to get her in my arms, 'she wasn't a piece of cake', I thought. But getting a taste of her was more than rewarding. "So we're making a red velvet cake or an oreo cheesecake?" She asked. "Well, either way, it's gunna have cream cheese." I said. "True, let's make red velvet then." She said and I chuckled. She leaned up and gave me a kiss, a sugary one that is. She did most of the preparing whilst I handed her ingredients, opening containers, and staring at her, almost melting. I found her left behind, disregarded, abandoned. She was vulnerable yet her eyes yielded strength. She stood up by herself even at her weakest. As she placed the pan in the oven, I felt the heat of it just the same as her in my arms, every single night I get to hold her.

"You smell like vanilla." She murmured again my neck as I hugged her to my chest. I chuckled. "And you taste like frosting." I said and sneakily dabbed some to her nose. I swiftly ran across her. "Hey!" She exclaimed, laughing. She then stopped and got a little frosting on her finger before seductively looking at me as she licked it. I smirked. "Two can play this game." I said and sped to her, my hips holding her down against the counter, my hands resting behind her. She leaned up first and I met her in a kiss. She ran her hands up my back, pulling my hair as she leaned up more. Her hands made their way to my pants, swiftly unbuttoning them. I kissed down her neck, sucking gently in her sweet spot. I felt myself harden more as she moaned against my eat and as she stroked my cock against my boxers.

I slid my hand down her shorts and her underwear, feeling just how wet I got her quickly. "Fuck, you're so wet, baby girl, want me inside you?" I huskily asked. "Yes, daddy." Fuck, every single time she uses that, it makes me harder. After one deep kiss, I turned her around, leaving wet kisses along her neck, grinding against her. "Do you want daddy to fuck you right here, baby girl?" I asked. "Yes." She whimpered. "Yes what, baby girl?" I asked again, my fingers rubbing against her, teasing her entrance. "Yes, daddy!" She exclaimed right as I entered a finger. She moaned as I placed another, clutching the edge of the counter. "Fuck me daddy, please." She almost begged, her fingers gripping my hand, soft as cotton.

I pulled down her shorts an then my pants, grinding against her more. I could loudly hear her pitching breathing in anticipation. "Daddy, please." She begged and I entered her tight pussy. "Fuck you feel so good, baby girl." I groaned. I thrusted into her, expanding her, feeling her warmness on my cock. I bent her down the counter, flour getting getting everywhere as I fucked her relentlessly, feeling her clench on my cock as she came repeatedly. I pulled out of her and carried her in my arms, burying my cock deep inside her. "Daddy, yes, fuck!" She screamed, her nails digging into my back. "Yes baby girl, come on daddy's cock." I hissed.

I fucked her from behind once more, my hand swirling around her clit, feeling her grind back into me, clenching, her hands gripping anywhere she could. "Fuck, I'm coming, baby girl." I groaned. "Yes, daddy, come for me." She whispered seductively. I thrusted fast and hard and just as the timer beeped, I bursted inside of her, making it hotter down there than it already is. I gently got off of her, speeding to get a towel to clean us both up. I placed her on top of the counter as I removed the cake from the oven.

"At least we didn't burn it." She chuckled, eating the chilled piece of cake. I nodded and laughed. "Couldn't resist you, baby girl." I said, kissing her swiftly. "And we made a yummy cake!" She proudly said. I nodded and kissed her forehead. I looked behind us towards the kitchen and laughed. "Well, Stef's gunna be cleaning a lot when he comes back." I said. "He always does." She said, continuing to eat her cake.

#damon x reader #damon salvatore x reader #damon salvatore #damon salvatore smut #damon salvatore fluff #smut #fluff #i'm back bishes #lol

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merlinficreview · 8 years ago

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The Student Prince: Chapters 11-15 Review!

The Student Prince by FayJay

Word Count: 145222

Chapter 11

This chapter opens with Merlin guiltily thinking about how obsessed he’s become with Arthur. “All of which was clearly not healthy, and was also, when you got right down to it, kind of unpleasantly creepy, and made Merlin feel guilty as hell – because in spite of all the prattishness, and in spite of Arthur's complete failure to notice that Merlin kept right on saving his ungrateful arse from various supernatural uglies – well, they were becoming friends.” At least Merlin recognizes he’s being a total creeper.

In order to try and get over Arthur, Merlin has decided to go to one of his GaySoc Club meetings and pick up a one night stand. This will surely end super well.

“And that's how he found himself standing outside The Victoria Cafe, chewing his bottom lip nervously and wondering whether he should have worn jeans instead of battered cargo pants.” Definitely should have worn jeans instead of a gross ripped up pair of cargo pants, Merlin. I’m glad he’s getting out though, and meeting with new people.

There’s some super awkward and inappropriate “wand” jokes from Cedric. Gross. This is how Cedric is described by the way: “…the latter was whippet-thin and had a ratty little goatee and a very disconcerting gleam in his eye,” and, “Merlin looked back at Cedric, who was wearing a remarkable lime-green shirt that gave him the impression of a cadaverous weasel wrapped in a very large leaf, and sighed.” Pretty gross sounding, right?

Cedric then realizes he recognizes Merlin from the Sophia Falling off the Ladder Fiasco and freaks out. “’Fair play, Merlin,’ said Catrina, looking impressed. ‘Didn't think you had it in you.’ ‘Oh my God, have you had it in you, you jammy bitch?’ demanded Cedric, his eyes bulging. ‘Spill! Tell us everything! What does he wear in bed? Where did you meet him? Does that yummy policeman protect him in the bedroom too?’”

YIKES. Cedric JUST met Merlin and he’s been super gross every time he opens his mouth. Get away from him, Merlin.

Merlin excuses himself to go get a drink and I don’t blame him. Honestly, I probably would have just left if someone was talking to me the way Cedric was talking to Merlin. While at the bar, Edwin corners Merlin and hits on him in a much less creepy, but still side-eye worthy, way and asks him about the Kraken. This is like all supernatural tv shows where everyone is all, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL NO ONE YOUR SECRET!!” but then like more people know the secret than people who don’t.

Merlin and Edwin go exploring some castle. It’s a pretty short scene and ends with Edwin kissing Merlin. Then Merlin is back at the dorm, drunkenly getting into his room.

Merlin knocks over a chair and wakes up Arthur. They have a really awkward conversation about Merlin going to his GaySoc meeting. Arthur asks Merlin if he hooked up with someone and Merlin gets super defensive about it. While, I don’t blame him because I’m sure he’s put up with quite a bit of homophobia, this is the passage: “’Did you cop off with somebody, then?’ Arthur asked, as if he just couldn't help himself. He was staring at Merlin's pink, spit-slick mouth and watching the motion of the toothbrush inside his cheek, and his breath was coming a little too fast. Merlin's eyes narrowed, and he spat out the toothpaste and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand,” also: “Arthur swallowed. ‘Why would I have a problem with that?’ he asked, his voice sounding hoarse. ‘It's no skin off my nose.’ He looked away, his cheeks flushing a vivid, blotchy red in the lamplight, and lay back down.” That’s clearly not Arthur being offended but rather Arthur trying to restrain himself from getting into Merlin’s pants.

Arthur tells Merlin he was just trying to take an interest in Merlin’s life. Merlin apologizes and they go to bed.

Chapter 12

This chapter opens with Merlin and Arthur tied together for a three legged-race for charity. Merlin is less than enthused, “’No, seriously – I had to do this stuff at school,’ he explained. ‘I was pants. Honestly. Pants. Sack race, egg-and-spoon race, wheelbarrow race – I'm just not your man for this kind of thing! I always came last!’” You could always have told Arthur, “no,” Merlin. Arthur has a million bodyguards he could have teamed up with.

“Merlin looked around at the rest of the people in the room, trying to see a sympathetic face somewhere ready to help him out of his predicament. He could not possibly spend an evening getting progressively less sober, with Prince Arthur locked against him ankle-to-ankle and hip-to-hip. It was cruel and unusual punishment, and he was going to lodge a formal complaint. Somewhere.” This is just annoying Merlin, you’re been exceptionally dramatic and it isn’t endearing me to you at all. Just tell Arthur you don’t want to do it and leave. Calm down.

“Oh, God. If he'd had any idea that Lance's bloody Charity Pub Crawl was going to involve getting tied to the oblivious object of his sordid fantasies, he'd have stayed at home. Or had a cold shower. Or at least worn looser trousers.” Can we talk about this weird charity? Who does a three-legged pub crawl race for charity? What charity is it? AA? Also, Arthur said it was his charity at the beginning of the chapter so… I’m confused.

Anyways, Merlin asks Arthur why he won’t race with Gawain and Arthur says Gawain’s partner is Morgause. Which seems like a poor decision. What happens if someone tries to assassinate Morgana? I can just see Morgause comically trying to get to Morgana while still tied to Gawain and falling all over the place. Plus, this is a race. Morgause might be miles behind or ahead of Morgana. “’And isn't she – I mean, honestly, I kind of got the strong impression that she and Morgana were...?’ Arthur shrugged, his cheeks reddening. ‘Don't ask, don't tell,’ he said.” “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” because Morgana and Morgause are cousins?

“’Um. But – doesn't that mean that he's barking up the wrong tree?’ ‘He likes a challenge.’” Let’s talk about this. Now we don’t know what Morgause’s sexuality is. It’s implied she is with Morgana, so we assume she’s into women. She could either be a lesbian or bisexual, which the author of this doesn’t really seem to address (remember the Merlin/Lance fiasco from earlier). My point is, this whole, “straight guy going after a lesbian woman” troupe is super common and it’s annoying as fuck. “LOL she’s into ladies and I know it but let me harass her anyways!!!” Fucking stop.

Morgana and Gwen stumble over. They are partners for the most ill-conceived charity activity ever. “Merlin took one look at the efficient-looking man standing a few paces behind her, radiating that now-familiar aura of polite do-not-fuck-with-me, and did not need to be told that this was whoever was on Morgana duty this evening, while Morgause played at Happy Families with her Academic Grandson.” Ok, I feel much better knowing it’s not open season for assassins on Morgana since Morgause has decided to fuck off and do her own thing. Which is even weirder now that I think about it since Morgause has “long since graduated.” The fuck is she doing hanging around her alma mater for a three legged race? She’s giving me small town quarterback who still attends all the games, wears his letterman jacket all the time and lectures the current players about how he would have handled that pass, “in the good old days,” vibes.

Lance explains the rules, “’Remember, it's up to you which order you visit the pubs,’ said Lance. ‘You can choose any seven from the list – there are Charities Reps in all of them. Make sure you get your booklet stamped by the Charities Rep. They'll confirm that you were there, and what drink you had – to check that it was further down the alphabet than whatever you had at the previous pub. So if you order a pint of Guinness in the Cellar Bar, and go on to the West Port, you can't have an absinth – you'll need to order something that starts with a letter after G, like a Jack Daniels or something. Okay?’” I still don’t understand how this is raising money for charity. They aren’t paying for these drinks. Even if they were, they are going to 7 bars, that’s 14 drinks per team. If there’s ten teams, that’s 140 drinks, and I’m sure the bars aren’t giving these completely away for free, charity or not. So say each drink is $6 and half of it goes to charity, that’s $420 dollars. Is this actually a thing people do? Like are there spectators who bid money on each team? What a stupid thing to bet on. Who would do that? It’s not like those races where small children run/ walk miles and you bet on like $3 a mile. What sort of charity would endorse something like this? Running around drunkenly tied to someone seems so unsafe. THIS CHARITY MAKES NO SENSE.

“’I can't believe that you're supporting something like this!’ Merlin said reproachfully. ‘Isn't this kind of thing against the teachings of the Lord Buddha?’ Lance shrugged. ‘I'm a Buddhist, Merlin. I'm not a killjoy. And besides, it's raising money for an excellent cause.’” BUT WHAT IS THE CAUSE????? Seriously, is this a thing?

“He was all too conscious of the warm, hard line of Arthur's body pressed up against his side, and of Arthur's arm around his waist, and he really couldn't see how he was going to be able to successfully hide his growing arousal over several hours of being plastered up against the man. ‘Please?’ he added, in a small voice.” Ok, Merlin. I like you but fucking stop. You are protesting way too much and it’s getting annoying. You could have just walked away the second someone approached you with the scarf to tie you to Arthur. So dramatic. Damn. Also, Merlin needs to get better friends because they are all ignoring how clearly uncomfortable Merlin is. Lance FINALLY tells him he doesn’t have to do it if he doesn’t want to. “’Mer-lin,’ muttered Arthur, crossly. ‘Don't be such a pussy!’ He sounded oddly upset, and Merlin thought that was a bit rich, under the circumstances.” Lovely. Get new friends, Merlin.

“’Come on, Merlin,’ murmured Arthur against his ear, his breath brushing warm against Merlin's skin and his lips grazing Merlin's earlobe for just a second.’ ‘I'm not doing it without you, you git. You can't make me go with some stranger, who...look, I trust you, Merlin. I know we'll look out for each other. It'll be fine. Please?’” This is giving me an odd image because we just got a description of Merlin leaning his head on Arthur’s shoulder. So is Arthur leaning all the way over to Merlin’s other ear to do this? I know it’s supposed to be an “ooer Arthur is being super touchy feeley!!! He’s totally falling for Merlin!” moment but the image is just making me laugh.

“’Is everyone ready?’ asked Lance, looking around at the mass of couples standing arm-in-arm in front the Students' Union building in the last lingering pink-red-gold rays of the setting sun. ‘Everyone got their collecting tins?’” Ohhhhhh! So they will be harassing bar patrons for money for the charity. Got it. Is this taking place during the day? If they are getting money from bar patrons, how is this a race? Like a team could just go to every bar, ignore collecting any money, get their drinks, and leave to win the race.

The next scene is Merlin and Arthur at their, presumably, second bar. Arthur has ordered them brandy and Merlin refuses to drink it, ordering himself a pint of ale and decides he is going to order his own drinks from that point on.

Then we get this: “Merlin lifted the glass to his lips, watching Arthur's face all the while, and started drinking. And drinking. And drinking. He watched Arthur's eyes start to widen, and his glance skitter down to stare at the way that Merlin's adam's apple was bobbing while his head tilted gradually back so that he was looking at Arthur through his lashes, and Arthur started to blush. By the time Merlin put down his empty pint glass on the bar and swiped the back of his hand over his wet mouth, Arthur's eyes were bulging, and his fingers were digging into Merlin's waist quite fiercely. ‘That was – that was actually pretty impressive,’ he said, rather hoarsely, his eyes darting from Merlin's mouth to his throat and back again.”

Ugh. I see this cliché, Arthur getting hot over Merlin drinking something scene SO MANY TIMES in fanfic and it’s so annoying. This trope is so overused and so unrealistic. I’ve literally never had a dude get all hot and bothered by me drinking something. If they are intensely looking at me while I’m drinking something, they are probably thinking, “She drinks a lot of fluids. I hope she’s not diabetic. How do I casually mention she should get her glucose levels checked out?”

So Merlin and Arthur get progressively drunker. There’s some awkward flirting. “’Oh, bite me, Your Majesty,’ he said, and launched a spectacularly successful (if perhaps, upon reflection, not very well thought out) stealth tickle attack sent them both toppling off their chairs and had Arthur convulsing and yelling and flailing on the floor within seconds, to the fascination of the crowd in The Central. Merlin reflected, in the back of his mind, that it was probably a Very Good Thing that he UK press had signed that agreement to hold off on buying any paparazzi photographs or interviews relating to the prince until after he turned nineteen.”

Just some platonic tickling between bros. Where one character ends up straddling the other. Nothing to see here.

Also, don’t be stupid, Merlin. Just because the media is banned from taking photos, it doesn’t prevent the general public from taking photos and posting them all over the internet.

The chapter ends with Merlin awkwardly calling “Uncle” and then the two of them leave the bar.

Chapter 13

This chapter opens up with the beginning of Raisin Weekend. So we have no idea what happened with this alleged “charity.” Who won? Where did the money go? How much did they bully poor bar patrons into giving them? How many people died from accidentally drunkenly stumbling into the streets because they were tied to another person and lost their balance? The ending to that scene is super abrupt and I honestly feel like I missed an entire chapter somehow.

So Merlin occasionally obsesses over his near kiss with Arthur in the pub and wonders if he should have gone for it. No no no no. It’s a BAD idea to kiss your straight roommate who happens to be the heir to the throne in a very public place. Do not do that. You’re welcome.

Merlin thinks about the possible consequences of having done that, “Or possibly molesting the heir to the throne was one of those obscure laws that overruled the whole no-death-penalty thing – like the ancient and never-revoked ruling that said that anyone on the Isle of Man could legally shoot a Scotsman seen wearing a kilt on one of their beaches. There was probably some statute somewhere that said anyone trying to get their end away with the Prince of Wales would have their head chopped off and stuck on a spike in the middle of Tower Bridge, or something. Merlin made a mental note to look that up, just in case.” Well, yes Merlin. Good job for recognizing that molestation is illegal. A + It probably wouldn’t get you killed but don’t do it either way, no need to look it up. Don’t fucking sexually assault people. And don’t put jokes about it in your fanfics.

“Still, occasionally, when he watched Arthur chewing the end of a biro earnestly as he scribbled notes for an essay, or when he sleepily spied on Arthur stretching in preparation for his morning run, or when he lost himself in the sound of Arthur's voice rambling on about his latest lecture from Gabriella Slomp about ‘”Obbes and Grot-i-us and Nat-si-o-nal law and In-ter-nat-si-o-nal law,’ or the sight of his shirt riding up to reveal a sliver of his back and the top of shockingly perfect arse as he leaned over to tie his shoelaces...occasionally, just occasionally, Merlin thought maybe it might have been worth it.” Ok. Several things to say about this section. Way to misspell national and international. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to represent Arthur’s accent by being spelled that way or something but it still makes no sense because you don’t pronounce hard T’s in either of those words so the s is unnecessary.

Now, let’s talk about this “shirt riding up to reveal a sliver…” part. This is yet ANOTHER ridiculously overused trope in fanfic that makes no sense. Ooer an inch of someone’s back/stomach (the stomach example is how I usually see it in fanfic). How sexy .Said no one ever.

If Arthur reaching over to tie his shoes is showing so much skin that Merlin can see, “the top of a shockingly perfect arse,” then Arthur needs to pull up his damn pants.

Lastly, but most importantly, IT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN WORTH IT. No sexually assaulting people, damn. I don’t feel like I should need to spell it out.

“As Raisin Weekend got closer and closer, Morgana took to smirking at her Academic children in a very disconcerting fashion, and randomly producing a soft blue tape measure with which she measured wrists and ankles and waists and legs and various other bits and pieces, whilst chuckling to herself.” Just including this because it made me think of Katie McGrath’s ridiculous and excessive smirking in season three of Merlin.

So Merlin asks Arthur if his Academic Dad is someone in Arthur’s pilot club and Arthur tells Merlin he didn’t end up joining for various reasons which all make sense to me but Merlin is super dramatic and over the top about it. He makes a big scene about how it’s not fair and blah blah blah. Calm down, Merlin. Arthur tells Merlin he still goes to the air plane hangar once a week. “So – what, you sit there with your nose pressed up against the glass like Tiny Tim, watching all the cadets having fun without you? That's...creepy and weird, frankly.” Lol, Merlin. That was actually funny. Arthur tells Merlin he takes his own plane out.

So Arthur tells Merlin he doesn’t have an Academic Dad. “You don't have an Academic Dad yet?!‘ ’ Given that they'd both just stepped out of the cold, bright Autumn morning and into the University Library, shouting was probably not really the best of all possible plans. Arthur slapped his forehead in frustration, looked from Merlin over to the audience of intrigued students and unimpressed librarians, and turned on his heel and walked right back outside again.”

God Merlin is so tactless. He always has to make a giant scene about everything. I used to like you, Merlin but you’ve been really getting on my nerves the last two chapters. Have some self-awareness, damn.

Arthur turns around and leaves; Merlin runs after him, apologizing. Probably still yelling at the top of his lungs to continue attracting attention. Of course Merlin starts to fall so Arthur grabs him and saves him, holding on just a little too long. Just bros, people. Just bros.

Arthur then walks away. As he should. I would still be pissed too. “And with that he stomped off down the path, leaving Merlin standing there with a head full of questions tumbling like leaves on a blustery Autumn day.” I’m going to give that an unnecessarily dramatic, flowery language warning. You’re on notice, fic.

Later, Merlin goes back to the dorm and Arthur tells him that Lance called him up and asked him if he wanted Lance to be his Academic Dad. Arthur wonders if Merlin called him up and told him. He admits to it, though I don’t think it would have been strictly necessary considering how many people were in the library when Merlin screamed his comment. Word gets around. Lance probably just heard about the incident. Or maybe literally heard the incident take place.

Chapter 14

Merlin and Arthur arrive at Morgana’s house and Morgause answers the door. Arthur asks where her “deadly” kitten Mordred is. We learn that it’s Raisin Sunday Tea Party and everyone has to pick out a hat. Even though Merlin is no longer worried about drunkenly doing magic in front of people, he still worries about Arthur. “Which meant that all he had to worry about was being careful not to say or do anything inappropriate to Arthur – and by this time, he thought he could have earned a BAFTA award for his compelling portrayal of Platonic Best Friend. Bloody well done him. Fifty points to Gryffindor, damn it.” These lies Merlin is telling himself right now.

Morgana gifts everyone with their “Raisin Strings.” Arthur’s is the best one as it’s basically just a necklace with a plane pendant modeled after his real plane. Gwen gets a hip flask in honor of her and Morgana winning the pub crawl and her budding alcoholism, and Merlin gets a massive stuffed Kraken. On a string. To wear on his neck. And Morgana’s explanation is so cringey I want to die for Merlin, “Because Merlin's terribly fond of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. And I understand he has a thing for tentacles. Or was it testicles? One or the other. Possibly both. Anyway, that's enough of me talking – let's hand over to the lovely Helen!”

After their tea party, which was cups of whiskey, they start playing a bunch of ridiculous games, most of which involve more drinking. Then, they all get into groups of four for, you guessed it, Twister! In 3D! “But rather than placing your hands and feet on different coloured circles on the floor, you're supposed to put your hands, or face, or bum, on various different parts of the other people in your team. The aim of the game is to successfully obey the game master's instructions; so long as you've got your hands, face and bum pressed up against whatever they're supposed to be on, and your teammates have too, your team is still in the game. When your team drops out, you each have to down a cup of Grandma Morgause's Blue Meanie Punch. Any questions?” In case you were wondering.

Percy is on Merlin’s team. “Merlin grinned back appreciatively, and reflected that it might not be so bad; Perceval played a lot of football, and it showed. He was a smidgen shorter than Merlin, but impressively athletic, and strikingly good looking, with skin the richly burnished red-brown of a just-split conker, and dark hair in dreadlocks that fell down past his shoulders.” That description.

LOL I mean, it’s funny because Tom Hopper is like a million feet tall and massive. This was written before his character was introduced on the show but still. I’m laughing.

Merlin’s team loses and there’s two teams left. “Merlin, Andi and Percy all piled together on the sofa, Merlin wriggling down so that his back was on the cushion, his legs hooked over the arm rest and his head pillowed companionably on Percy's thigh.” Quite an interesting decision there, Merlin since you pretty much just met Percy. As long as he’s cool with you laying on his crotch, I guess. Kay’s team topples over so Arthur’s team wins, naturally, “…and Merlin was clapping and cheering madly as Arthur disentangled himself blushingly from his partners and then looked over in Merlin's direction with an expression that Merlin had not the faintest idea how to interpret.” I’ll interpret it for you, dumbass. Arthur is jealous of you being face first in some other dude’s lap.

The next came involves sucking chocolate balls onto a straw and dropping them into a glass. Kay makes a disgusting joke regarding Merlin’s sucking skills. Die in a fire, Kay, etc. etc.

So then this happens: “He was doing quite well, he thought, until he glanced up and saw that Arthur had frozen with his straw poised over his own pint glass, and was just staring at Merlin with an intensity that made Merlin flush suddenly scarlet. He looked back down at his box in confusion, but then had to look back up at Arthur again, through his eyelashes, and Arthur was still staring at him – staring at his mouth, in fact – and Merlin could feel himself getting embarrassingly turned on,” and “…and Arthur was licking his lips, like – like – but clearly Merlin was having some kind of alcohol-induced breakdown, because there was no way that Arthur was giving him any kind of heated come-hither-ish looks.” The secondhand embarrassment. I cannot. Arthur, be more obvious that you were imagining Merlin give you a blow job. Merlin, be more obtuse.

Later, Merlin once again brings up Gwen and Lance and he asks her if she’s finally going to get together with him. Gwen is annoyingly dense about it but, I have to agree with her getting annoyed with Merlin bringing it up over and over and over. Fucking stop.

Next is a jelly shot contest. Merlin is lying on the floor with his shirt off; Blanche, his partner, is blindfolded and will be eating the shots off him. Arthur sits and stares at Merlin the whole time. It’s awkward and weird.

The next game involves Chocolate Matchmakers. I have no idea what those are because we don’t have them so I just kind of imagine them as chocolate covered pretzel rods. So they have to pass them around through each other’s mouths and with each person, it gets shorter and shorter because the person passing the candy bites of the end that’s in their mouth. Arthur is of course sitting next to Merlin for this, so Merlin is understandably losing his shit. Poor Drunk Merlin. Oh and there’s a donut on the matchmaker so whomever gets the donut wins? Whatever. These games are weird, but very stereotypical drunk games.

So Merlin gets ready to pass to Arthur and it’s all very tense with the chocolate quickly melting in his mouth, Arthur grabs the end of the chocolate, “…but instead, he found Arthur was still moving towards him, closer and closer, his lips sliding down over inch after inch until he'd swallowed up chocolate and doughnut and all, and was pressing his mouth against Merlin's, swiping his tongue lingeringly over Merlin's startled lips as he stole the game.”

NORMAL BRO STUFF PEOPLE. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. MOVE ALONG.

Merlin freaks out and goes to the bathroom, for which I don’t blame him. Then he masturbates in the bathroom, which is really awkward because he’s at someone else’s house.

Chapter 15

So now we get to the part in the story where I accidentally hate Gwen even though what happens next isn’t her fault. Well not entirely. I also hate Arthur. A lot. Because he’s a complete ass. Stay tuned!

Merlin gets back from the bathroom and spots Arthur speaking to Gwen. Merlin is upset because he wanted to tell Gwen everything that happened; I would too. Then Arthur gets all flirty and up in Gwen’s space, “…and then Arthur was leaning even closer and pushing a strand of curls behind her ear, murmuring something, and she was stumbling over her words and going wide-eyed and startled, staring up at him...”

What in the actual FUCK are you doing, Arthur? Merlin has the best possible reaction, “’Oh,’ said Merlin, blankly, and he turned on his heel and went to find Mordred.” That is word for word what I would have done in the situation. Poor Merlin.

Merlin is playing with Mordred when Morgana finds him and they have a really sweet, though sad for Merlin, and honest conversation about Arthur. Morgana is really nice to him about it and she even acknowledges Arthur was flirting with Merlin. “I could shake him. He was definitely flirting with you down there, and it's not fair. It's really not fair.” DO IT, MORGANA. SHAKE HIM. DO IT NOW.

Later, Lance shows up to pick them all up for his portion of the festivities. “When Lance had shown up to collect his Academic kids Merlin had seen him watch the way that Arthur leaned into her space and wrapped his hands around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder, making her giggle – and Merlin had watched the light go out of Lance's eyes then and there.” Yikesapolooza. What the fuckering fuck are you doing, Arthur? Can you be more of a self-serving asshole? You know how Lance feels about Gwen and you clearly know how Merlin feels about you. Plus you JUST flirted heavily with Merlin. I don’t care if you are just asserting your straightness after the whole Merlin kiss because you’re having a big gay crisis. Fucking no. You’re hurting three other people with this nonsense.

Arthur spends the whole walk flirting with Gwen which ends up in a tickle fights on the ground. Hey, remember when he did that with another character earlier? Also, get up off the ground you idiots. Gross.

Merlin and Co are at Lance’s friends’ house and Arthur and Gwen are still grossly flirting in front of Lance and Merlin. Merlin confronts Lance about not asking Gwen out. “’Well – I mean, I've – um. Do we have to talk about this?’ ‘Yes,’ said Merlin, firmly. ‘Yes we do. Because it's driving me batshit insane, and because I really need a distraction this evening, and you, you lucky man, are it…’” Fucking finally. It’s driving me insane too, Merlin. Damn.

So basically, Lance used to be fat and ugly and that’s why he won’t do casual flings.

Which is stupid and doesn’t answer the question about Gwen whatsoever. “It's just that I don't really do casual flings, that's all. It's not my cup of tea. But when I met Gwen – it was like she was exactly who I'd been waiting for my whole life. I can't describe it. As soon as I saw her – I mean, she just walked in and the whole room lit up. I wanted to do something amazing for her – climb mountains, slay dragons, something. Just for her. She took my breath away.” That’s way too excessive, Lance. Calm down.

Merlin tells Lance to get his shit together because Gwen is super into him. Cue: “Gwen had got her arms around Arthur's neck, and her knees on either side of his lap, and was kissing the crap out of him.” Of course. Merlin gets up to get another drink. Probably not the best idea since he’s been smashed for about 6 hours at that point. He should really just go back to his dorm and sleep it off at this point. Poor Merlin.

As Merlin is in the kitchen, Edwin magically shows up and they start engaging in some inappropriate PDA against the fridge when Arthur walks in on them. Because of course he does. Merlin looks at Arthur, “At an Arthur who was blushing a shocked, blotchy scarlet and staring at Merlin like he wanted to punch him. Or possibly punch Edwin – Merlin wasn't entirely sure.” Arthur leaves. And fuck him, honestly. He has no right to be pissed off at Merlin for being with another guy when he was LITERALLY just making out with Gwen. In front of Merlin. Asshole.

So this section was ok. I don’t like Cedric being gross towards Merlin at the GaySoc meeting. The charity pub crawl really threw me off. Seriously, is this a legit thing that people do? I get just doing a three-legged pub crawl race with your friends for fun but charity? Really? What charity wants to be associated with drunken debauchery? Also, I’m getting real tired of Arthur being super obviously into Merlin, Merlin being deliberately obtuse about it and Arthur doing nothing. What an ass.

Now let’s talk about the Gwen/Arthur/Lance/Merlin love square. It’s stupid. Genuinely stupid. Gwen might be stupid about Lance’s feelings but there’s no way she doesn’t know Merlin, her BEST FRIEND, has feelings for Arthur. Plus, she insists Lance is too good for her and doesn’t have a thing for her and yet has no problem accepting making out with THE PRINCE OF WALES? REALLY, GWEN? REALLY? She is honestly so dumb. If I liked Lance, I would tell him to stop wasting his time and find someone better. Ok, I know I’m getting blamey towards Gwen but I do think she does hold some responsibility for her actions here. Obviously Arthur is also 100% in the wrong here. He knows Gwen likes Lance and Lance likes Gwen. He also has to know Merlin is somewhat into him or else he never would have gone for that kiss during the tea party. Arthur is just using Gwen, which is really fucking gross, to assert his straightness to Merlin (and probably himself but I don’t care about him and he can fuck off). I don’t care. Stop being an ass and purposely hurting everyone around you. Because that’s what he’s doing. Merlin deserves better than this asshole, prince or not.

Other than that, I liked the pub bar crawl just as a general scene, minus the charity stuff that makes no sense. I also liked the tea party chapters. All five chapters were pretty enjoyable to read. It’s some good Merlin/Arthur angst, particularly during the party, right up until Arthur fucks it all up. I also like Morgana actually being really sweet towards Merlin about Arthur. And three cheers for kitten Mordred. Flawless character.

Until next time:

#merlin #bbc merlin #the student prince #Merlin fic #review #stupidest charity activity ever #drunken platonic tickle fights #NOTHING TO SEE HERE #SERIOUSLY MOVE ALONG #NORMAL BRO STUFF #Morgana smirking #Gwen is stupid #Lance was fat so that's why he won't ask out Gwen #makes perfect sense #teaparty #cat Mordred #Merlin deserves better #Arthur can go away #Kay can get hit by a bus

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