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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

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Hi! Goldy, do you know why are jikookers making such a big deal out of jk saying “I’m hyung ‘s copy cat”. I’m I missing something here , why is everyone acting like they just confessed their love , if anything vmin were more sus 😂

Lol shippers...

We are like a bunch of boohbahs on crack every day. We get excited over everything and anything- which I think is the point of shipping though. Lol.

Not sure what you are missing as I haven't seen the show in its entirety yet...

But off the top of my head, I'd say it's probably because of the blushing and the whole Kook's ear turning red bit when JM was addressing him about copying him.

He did the same thing in the Be.TS Vlive when Jimin put him on the spot about posting on his birthday. Jimin makes him shy

It's been several years and Jimin still has an effect on him. I think it's cute.

Also, the bit about them confessing...

You actually not wrong. Lol.

JM used to say JK copies him because JK liked him and so JK would deny that all the time. To accept that he was imitating JM would mean he was admitting he liked Jimin- that he thought Jimin was cool, had impeccable style yadda yadda.

Jimin might as well had asked JK to confess he liked him.

They both had a habit of trying to get the other to confess their feelings for them in the past.

JM: I am Army.

JK: Do you like me that much?

JM: I had blue eyes first.

JK: No. Mine is bluer

JM: Stop imitating me.

Do you like me that much?

Jk: No

It was their way of flirting. So I guess in effect, in admiting he imitates JM, Jimin sort of got JK to officially admit he likes him🤷🏽‍♀️

'Do you like me?'

'Do you?'

And he acted so innocent about it too.

This man! Lol

That innocent pout afterwards my God. Lmho.

There's just a lot of history between those two. A lot, and it's nice to see them remind eachother of that.

And I think it's the history and memories, the nolstagia he evoked in JK with that comment that had JK blushing hard especially if he read double meaning in that request.

From, his reaction I'd say he did.

All these double entendres chilee.

Its intriguing JK had such a strong reaction to something seemingly less intense or even cringe. That comment was supposed to be a safe bet. The safest conversation JM could have with Kook in front of new audience to not make things awkward in the room and yet...

There's no hope for JK. Dude is gone. Bid him farewell to gay boulevard🤧

Jimin was like why are you blushing it's nothing heavy or something like that and that reminded me again of that whole, 'did I scold you" bit from New Jersey.

Jimin had a strong reaction to what JK deemed a trivial issue- Which I gotta smirk at. Smirk.

It's interesting that of all the things he could ask Jk, this is what he chose to ask him. I think he genuinely believed it was a safer conversation to have- Y'all think VMin was wilding, wait till you meet the Jikooknims.

Imagine if JK had said what V said to JM or if JM had said that to JM. Imagine that...

I mean I get it, if they are going to be regulars on traditional SK media now, they have to be able to interact 'normally' within the group without the members or eachother panicking and acting like Jikook be spelling the nuclear codes with their butts.

We've discussed the gradual shift in BigHit's marketing model but it seems with all the Asian hate crimes, racism, stigmatization of Asians and Asian Americans in the wake of the pandemic, it's become imperative that they redirect their focus and attention to SK to solidify their presence and hold in their home market.

I'm afraid we might be seeing a shift towards the company pandering to their roots and adhering to traditional media practices with mostly one foot in the international market, and one foot in their home market.

And if that's the case, Jikook would have to be able to tether the line of their closet without making things awkward for eachother and the members lest they risk exposing themselves to the gay hateration and criticism rampant in Korea.

Bang PD have made it perfectly clear, he is not about the risk taking life. That he prefers as a company to play things safe- I wonder if he's stance on that has changed in recent times.

But I don't think when it comes to it, he'd risk it for them. He's not gonna shove their alternative lifestyle in conservative spaces like that. Chilee.

Anywho, Jimin likes to rile JK up and watch him squirm sometimes but naa I don't think that was the agenda this time around...

Then there was this bit also

Which I think my guy spilled right there😏

I've been saying for the longest time BigHit staff take stock in the Jikook business. There you have it.

They style Jikook. They style BTS. So all the times they've appeared in couple outfits, matching shoes, complimentary hairstyles, all the time they deliberately cut from JK to Jimin or Jimin to JK, all the times they've paired Jikook up, isolated them from the group so Jikook can give them a moment-

When I say BigHit is intentional in the way they brand Jikook within the group and in the way they push those two not as friends but as a 'couple'

And because of this people scream Jikook is fan service blah blah nonsense.

But the question have always been, why does these two grown ass men go along with it. Do they not know what it means when of all seven they are the two that are constantly marketed as 'lovers?" They are not twins, neither are they twelve and so why the need to match their fits?

And how come none of them object to this?

Why don't they ask questions???

Bet. Bet there's a reason for that.

As for Vmin all I have to say is...

Tae Kook who? Tae Kook WHERE?!

Lmho. Vmin, TaeJin, (Tae kook) VHope, Taegi

In that particular order for Tae's ships. The last three are fluid with Tae Kook alternating anywhere from 3rd to the last position lol.

I saw their shippers bust out their go to, 'Tae was being sarcastic" he hates Jimin rhetoric - like

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

Tae talks some strong Vmin agenda.

We been knew. We been said it

He flirts Jimin hard to gay proportions too.

'In love with my Soulmate- a memoir written by Kim Taehyung. Coming soon to a bookshop near you. Lmho.

If Jimin catches feelings for Tae one day it's game over for us all🤣🤣🤣🤣

'We need to stop. This game is dangerous.'

Then he proceeds to gulp on top of it 🤣🤣

Reminds me of when JK was asked if Jimin wasn't his style and JK was fumbling and Jimin said, cut the cameras. Deadass. Lol

'Jk don't answer that' 🤭

Why shouldn't he answer that?

Jimin is a funny guy. A funny gay guy🤭

And did y'all see how hard Yoongi screamed when Tae said that?

Lolololololololololololololololololololololololol

Tae doesn't need to convince me he has feelings for Jimin. I'm convinced all by myself 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And is it me or did Tae look like he didn't believe Jimin when JM said he liked him too??🤔

I can't wait to watch the whole thing.

I love their relationship. I hate when people invalidate it. VMin does not invalidate Jikook nor does Jikook invalidate VMin or even Tae Kook. They all are, unique and they are beautiful me thinks.

They ought not be compared in this way but celebrated.

It's not a competition.

Talk of celebrating ships, did you see Tae and Kook too??? 🤭🤭🤭🤭

I love seeing them in a good place in their dynamic like this.

It's the look he shot JK when the envelope ended up infront of him for me😂

Tae is hilarious I swear! Lmho.

I kinda lowkey wished it was for him I won't lie.

It's the same energy as when JK grabbed his neck and said he wanted to ride in the car with Tae. (If those subs were correct. Can't trust any unofficial subs on any Tuktuk moment💀)

Tae was like 👀 waeyo? Lmho.

I'm off to ship Tae Kook and VMin.

Keep your eyes on the gays for me.

Bye🤣

💜💜💜💜

Signed,

GOLDY

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iwanthermidnightz · 4 years ago

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*As usual, below I’m sharing excerpts from this article that are noteworthy*

What may come as a surprise to the band’s fans is the news that T.J., 36, is gay. This isn’t a recent revelation for him; he’s known since he was young, and he’s been out to family and friends in his tight-knit Nashville community for years. In some respects, he says, coming out publicly is no big deal. “I’m very comfortable being gay,” he says later, in a quiet room at the office of his management company. “I find myself being guarded for not wanting to talk about something that I personally don’t have a problem with. That feels so strange.”

But his reservations are understandable, given that country music remains a bastion of mainstream conservatism in American arts and culture. If liberal Hollywood is notorious for pushing a progressive agenda, country has historically been its counterpoint—a safe haven for traditional “family values.” Never mind that many country artists, like Nashville as a city, lean blue: They know that their primary market, like the state of Tennessee itself, skews red. The country music business is lucrative, generating $5.5 billion to Nashville’s economy alone, according to RIAA; if artists speak out, they run the risk of alienating listeners, particularly in an era when even anodyne statements of support for a cause can be misconstrued. The tale of the Chicks, formerly the Dixie Chicks, who were exiled after criticizing the Iraq War, looms large over country music. Taylor Swift even cited the band’s ouster as a reason she remained publicly apolitical for so long: “You’re always one comment away from being done,” she told Variety in a 2020 interview.

With this news, T.J. becomes the only openly gay artist signed to a major country label—a historic moment for the genre. He’s had predecessors, of course: Other openly queer artists, from Grammy-winning singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile to masked cowboy Orville Peck to viral hitmaker Lil Nas X, have found success by integrating country influences into their genre-defying music, and country artists including Chely Wright and Billy Gilman have passionate fanbases. But T.J. may be the first to come out with his feet so firmly planted in both the sound and machinery of mainstream country, in the full bloom of his career.

He is worried that coming out will look opportunistic, or attention-seeking. “People will ask, ‘Why does this even need to be talked about?’ and personally, I agree with that,” he says. “But for me to show up at an awards show with a man would be jaw-dropping to people. It wouldn’t be like, ‘Oh, cool!”

What happens next remains to be seen. “I don’t think I’m going to get run off the stage in Chicago,” he says. “But in a rural town playing a county fair? I’m curious how this will go.” The professional risks he’s taking in coming out feel worth it, both for his own happiness and because, well, it’s time. Country music is about storytelling, and that means T.J.’s identity is inextricable from his music. Maybe, T.J. says, country isn’t the most popular genre among gay people. “But is that just because they’ve never had the opportunity to relate to it?”

But being closeted was painful. “It was so lonely and isolating,” T.J. says. “It made me resent people.” A first heartbreak in his early twenties crushed him all the more because he felt like he couldn’t tell anyone. “I was mad that no one knew why I was hurting,” he says. He channeled that anguish into his music. One song he wrote about that relationship, called “21 Summer,” has become a fan favorite, and you can see why: It’s a big, nostalgic singalong with lyrics about cutoff jeans and hair blowing in the breeze. It’s still tender for him—not just heartbreak, but how alone he was going through it. “There are so many times I’ve sung that song and wanted to cry,” he says. “People love that song, but the emotion of it is deeper than they even realize.”

As Brothers Osborne’s career grew, they made gestures toward inclusion, starting with the video for single “Stay a Little Longer,” which featured gay and interracial couples. For the most part, the response was overwhelmingly positive. “And then,” T.J. says, “there were people who were like, ‘Faggot lovers!’” This kind of reaction was especially discouraging for T.J., even amid the affirmation he had received from his family and friends. But staying publicly closeted was suffocating too—not only for him, but for the guys he dated. “Saying, ‘Hey, don’t hold my hand. Someone I know is in here, so can you wait in the car?’” he says. “Rightfully, they would feel unwanted by me.”

The months spent in lockdown due to the pandemic forced some introspection, and he realized the perfect moment to come out would never arrive; he had to create it for himself. “I want to get to the height of my career being completely who I am,” he says, then stops. “I mean, I am who I am, but I’ve kept a part of me muted, and it’s been stifling.”

But there’s also a chance that T.J.’s openness will widen the field for new fans to feel welcome. “Others will now feel invited to the country music party for the first time,” says T.J.’s close friend Kacey Musgraves, the singer-songwriter whose progressive-minded storytelling has helped earn her a mainstream fanbase. “Country music deserves a future even more honest than its past.”

When Ellen DeGeneres came out on the cover of this magazine in 1997, it was shocking to many—both the act of coming out, and how visible she made herself with it. Now, the tides have turned toward quieter declarations of identity, particularly as young people embrace more fluid expressions of sexuality and gender. For high-profile people, a high-profile coming-out has mostly fallen out of favor; a public figure might be as likely now to mention their queerness offhandedly on social media as they are to make a formal announcement. It’s a way of both controlling the message, and also, maybe, of minimizing it.

Even amid calls for greater inclusion, the homogeneity of the top artists in the genre is still striking. “Any steps that have been taken have been purposefully kept small enough to not ruffle feathers at country radio,” says Musgraves.

So I ask T.J. a question, which is: What if there is nothing to move on from? What if being gay is a gift, and your gayness is not something to be tolerated but something to be celebrated, and even if untangling the shame and confusion of growing up gay in a straight world takes a long time, it’s worth doing so you can use your voice, not only to sing songs about cutoff jeans and hair blowing in the breeze but to say, clearly and unapologetically, that this is who you are? What if there are a lot of gay boys in small towns who haven’t figured it out yet and feel overwhelmed by snarky TV sidekicks and glittery pop stars bellowing self-empowerment anthems, and what if those gay boys in small towns got to have an avatar of their own—if they knew that someone like them was singing that song about cutoff jeans and hair blowing in the breeze on the radio? Isn’t that why we spend so much time talking about representation, because as much as it’s a burden, it’s also the only antidote to the loneliness of being different? And—not to tell him how to feel, which is, of course, exactly what I’m doing—but isn’t this occasion, of owning who he is in a place where some people might prefer he didn’t exist, something to embrace instead of something to endure?

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justinsentertainmentcorner · 4 years ago

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Sam Lansky at Time Magazine:

People keep asking T.J. Osborne how he’s feeling, which makes sense, given the thing he’s about to do, but it’s making him uneasy, hearing that well-intentioned question over and over again from so many people—his friends, his family, his team, and even me, over the course of the days that have led up to this one. Now, at a masked-up photo shoot in east Nashville, he insists that he’s feeling good as he slips on a jacket. “I’m ready to put this behind me,” he says.

T.J. is tall and friendly, with a twangy, sonorous voice that often crests into deep, warm laughter. He’s the lead vocalist of Brothers Osborne, the duo he formed with his brother John, a guitarist, in 2012; together they make roots-inflected, soulful country-rock that sounds just as good on the radio as it would filling an arena. Since signing to EMI Records Nashville, they’ve released seven country Top 40 singles and three studio albums, including their swoony, rollicking platinum hit “Stay a Little Longer,” which crossed over to mainstream radio. (Have you ever fallen in love in late summer, gazing out at an orange-and-purple sunset from the bed of a pickup truck? Well, me neither, but this song will make you feel like you have!) The duo has won four CMA Awards, been nominated for seven Grammys, and collaborated with heavy-hitting country contemporaries such as Dierks Bentley and Maren Morris. There’s nothing surprising about the duo’s popularity: Both T.J. and John are engaging performers with a knack for anthemic hooks.

***

T.J. is short for Thomas John, the inverse of his older brother and bandmate, whose name is John Thomas, named after their father, whose name is also John Thomas, though people call him “Big John.” Growing up in Deale, Md., a blue-collar town on the Chesapeake Bay, T.J. and his siblings—including sister Natalie, who now works for a publisher in Nashville—were always musical, performing alongside Big John’s blues band in local shows. But being closeted was painful. “It was so lonely and isolating,” T.J. says. “It made me resent people.” A first heartbreak in his early twenties crushed him all the more because he felt like he couldn’t tell anyone. “I was mad that no one knew why I was hurting,” he says. He channeled that anguish into his music. One song he wrote about that relationship, called “21 Summer,” has become a fan favorite, and you can see why: It’s a big, nostalgic singalong with lyrics about cutoff jeans and hair blowing in the breeze. It’s still tender for him—not just heartbreak, but how alone he was going through it. “There are so many times I’ve sung that song and wanted to cry,” he says. “People love that song, but the emotion of it is deeper than they even realize.”

[...]

Will conservative radio programmers or rural concertgoers be as eager to play and tailgate a gay artist, even one they already know and love? Both brothers want to believe the answer is yes. “Maybe I’m not giving my fans enough credit,” T.J. says. “Maybe I’m not giving the genre enough credit.” His reasons for doing this now, he says, have nothing to do with wanting to be loved or hated. “I just want to move on,” he says again, and it’s here that I break.

“Don’t get me wrong,” T.J. says. “When I say I want to put it behind me, I want to put the coming out behind me. Because ultimately it’s a very small detail about me.”

But what if being gay is not a small detail? I ask. What if it’s the most important thing about you? Which is not to say that it should be, or that it is, but just that—what if?

T.J. Osborne of country group Brothers Osborne came out as gay.

#T.J. Osborne #Brothers Osborne #Country Music #Music #LGBTQ+#LGBTQ

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moodyblues93 · 3 years ago

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Dear LGBTQ Community

I am so incredibly sorry is the only right way to start. This post comes from a lifelong conservative, homeschooled Christian. I never stood on a street corner with a sign that said ugly things about you, and whenever I met someone who was gay (or I suspected they were), I tried very hard to treat them the same as anyone else and not hold them at arm’s length; nevertheless, I made some disparaging remarks within my circle of likeminded people, and I most definitely saw you as being in the wrong. I didn’t hate you- I felt sorry for you, and found myself wistfully thinking how nice it would be if being gay wasn’t a sin, and we could all just get along then…but ultimately I had to shake my head and say, “well, the Bible says it’s a sin, so that’s the end of the debate.”

Having now been out of my (incredibly controlling and right-wing extremist) parents’ house for seven years now, I’ve made a lot of progress in finding what I believe is a proper middle ground for my beliefs and overall worldview. Every New Year’s Day, rather than make a resolution, I have a long talk with the Lord and ask Him to please make me more like Him in the coming year and draw me closer to His heart; I can honestly say that every year this prayer is answered, and I continue to become a more loving and understanding person (though I am far, far from perfect). This year I have become increasingly aware of how ugly a lot of my conservative, supposedly Christian friends behave at their cores, and how so many of the things they claim they’re saying in love sound a lot more akin to hate, pride, and bigotry. By May, I was so disgusted by their words and actions, I came back for a Part 2 to my prayer. I asked God to reveal to me the things in my beliefs that I had accepted as truths that are in fact lies- whether in part or in whole -and vice versa; I asked that He help me be willing to reconsider my stance on any and all issues where I was wrong, and to give me the courage to take the steps necessary to change.

I kid you not: within two weeks of praying that, I was struck out of the blue by a thought I had never dared even entertain in jest in my entire life. Why is being gay a sin? I froze in my tracks and my heart stopped. Having thought this forbidden sentence, my mind raced ahead before I could catch it.

Why should it be a sin?

I understand that the very first couple was a man and a woman, but they HAD to be in order to continue the human race.

If there’s one thing I’ve known from an early age, it’s that God is a God of logic. He has a reason for every commandment/rule, and usually that reason is very self-evident. Adultery is breaking a promise and brings devastating hurt to others and yourself. Stealing is taking something that you have no right to take, and again, you’re harming someone else one way or another. I already know AIDS isn’t the exclusively “gay cancer” televangelists claimed it was in the ‘80s, so I can’t even use that as the reason behind why gay relationships are forbidden.

I stood there in the kitchen, stumped. I could not think of a single actual reason why being gay could be considered a sin, aside from citing “because God said so,” which is not an actual argument; God never lays down arbitrary rules like that, and even the passages about “it is an abomination” suddenly didn’t make sense to me. Okay, but WHY is it an abomination? Circular reasoning didn’t sound like the God I’ve come to know so well over the years. The notion gnawed at me all day, and I could hardly focus on anything else. I prayed almost continually for the next two days on the matter: I asked that if my heart was deceiving me and I was being sucked into the “liberal Christian” mindset after too long away from the influence of a super strict church, that God would save me from my error and show me the why behind this commandment so I wouldn't stray. I also asked in no uncertain terms that if the church is in fact wrong and being gay is NOT a sin that God would give me peace about the whole matter and help me to find good, thorough resources that could dismantle the arguments I’d been supportive of all these years.

None of this stemmed from a guilty conscience needing to find justification for a beloved family member’s lifestyle, or even my own: as far as I know, everyone in my immediate family is hetero, and I myself am ace. Nor did this come from the desire to be as opposite of my strict parents as possible, to rebel and go nuts now that they no longer control my life. I am a person who always wants to know the why and how behind every rule and process, to understand as much about my surroundings as a human can, and to champion the truth in all things- even when that truth makes me uncomfortable.

I spent copious amount of time over several months researching this subject from multiple viewpoints, devouring articles and lectures, and praying for guidance with every new piece of information I uncovered. By the time I’d finished, I was left with a deep conviction that we have been wrong all this time; the arguments the church has used are based on a mix of mistranslations and cultural practices that are irrelevant to our society today (for anyone who wants to know more on this, I cannot recommend enough Walking The Bridgeless Canyon by Kathy Baldock, and God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines, because there isn’t room in this post to explain it all. You need to read both books for the full picture).

I’m sorry for how long this post is, but since you don’t know me, I’m trying to convey to you just how significant it is for someone like me to have come to this conclusion. I’ve been a dyed-in-the-wool conservative Christian my entire life; I literally don’t even remember my conversion because of how young I was when I came to faith. For those who are skeptics concerning if homosexuality and the like is a sin, I hope this has prodded at your conscience and will push you to start looking into this for yourself.

But my main purpose of this post is to address you, the LGBTQ community. One person’s apologies, no matter how sincere, cannot begin to make up for or repair the damage done to you. As I was studying all this, the more horrified I became as it hit me that there are countless souls the church turned away because they were told Jesus wasn’t interested in a relationship with them, and consequently, most of those people likely then didn’t want to have anything to do with a Jesus like that. The thought completely broke my heart for you, and all I want to tell you now is that regardless if someone has said to you that you cannot enter the kingdom of Heaven as long as you are a practicing homosexual/bisexual/etc. or anything else along those lines…PLEASE listen to me instead.

I love you. I accept you as you are and I am not going to ask you to change this aspect of your life. Far more importantly, Jesus loves you as you are and He wants to have a relationship with you. If the only thing that’s ever held you back from looking into Christianity is believing your sexuality won’t be accepted, know that there are churches out there who will gladly welcome you (Google ‘open and affirming church near me’).

I’m making an iron promise to you that I’m going to attend my local rally every June from now on; I’m going to hug you and remind you that it’s okay to be who you are without having to fear eternal damnation for it. I can’t say enough how sorry I am for everything that has been said and done to you, all supposedly in the name of love- a love that has been hideously misunderstood and twisted to fit a human agenda of our own making. Please give God another chance. Let Him show you just what love really and truly is, and I guarantee you will find it’s nothing like what you’ve been told.

I know you don’t know me, and you have no reason to believe me, but please take this as a hopeful sign for the future. If I can come to this conclusion, then surely the rest of the world can’t be far behind me. We will make this a safe and accepting place for you, where contemptuous glances and ugly words are no longer slung across the dividing line, because there will no longer be a line- it will no longer be an Us vs. Them, because there will only be Us. Thank you for your persistence through the decades to not deny who you are, because your endurance will help keep the door open for this and future generations to come to a true understanding.

I hope a lot of people see this. I don't know much about how Tumblr works, I'm hardly ever on here, but I sincerely wish for many people to see this and smile by the time they're finished.

Red and orange, yellow and green, blue and purple, black and white, we are precious in His sight.

#lgbtq #lgbt pride #apology #love is love #god is love #true christianity #change the world #can i get an amen

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scarletwelly-boots · 4 years ago

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Books Read 2020

I started off really good this year, what with quarantine and all. And then I got sidetracked by reading one hundred and forty-nine fanfics (and counting) (mostly Destiel; CW can kiss my ass).

I read 30 books this year, which I thought was bad, but apparently I only read 24 last year, so not awful. I did the Popsugar reading challenge for the fifth year. There were 50 categories this year, so 60% isn’t too bad. So without further ado, let’s get started under the cut.

1. The Mermaid, The Witch, and the Sea, Maggie Tokuda-Hall (a book that’s published in 2020). This book, y’all. My god. It has it all: pirates, queer relationships, genderfluid characters, an intense plot. This book was so good. I definitely recommend this book. Pirates!!! And gay!

2. Somebody Told Me, by Mia Siegert (a book by a trans or nonbinary author). I don’t know how Siegert identifies, but I know they use they/them pronouns. This book was... okay but frustrating. A bigender teen, Aleks/Alexis, has a traumatic experience and moves in with their aunt and uncle, who is a newly converted Catholic priest. I liked the queer rep, but sometimes it felt like the author had these assumptions or prejudices about the Catholic church. Some of them were right, granted, and I’m not a practicing Catholic anymore so I don’t know why it pissed me off, but it bugged me anyway. So I guess if you don’t mind it seeming like the author did little to no research on Catholicism, then it’s a good book.

3. All the King’s Men, by Nora Sakavic (a bildungsroman). Who, me? Rereading my gay comfort trilogies during quarantine? It’s more likely than you think. Love the All for the Game trilogy. This is the third book in the series. It’s the best book in the trilogy. It is a series about a college sports team who play a made up sport called Exy, which is basically a more violent version of lacrosse. I’m not a huge sports fan, but the way she writes Exy matches had me on the edge of my seat. The team is made up of all “at-risk” students, the main character being a kid on the run from his mob boss dad. Trigger warning for the series for violence, sexual assault/rape, abuse, drug use, I may be missing some things. It was so good though.

4. Captive Prince, by C.S.Pacat (a book with a map). Back again with the gay comfort trilogies. This is the first book in the Captive Prince trilogy, and whoops, did I say love All For the Game? Love this series more. It’s awesome. It’s fantasy and gay and romantic. But the romance isn’t even the central part. Laurent is my favorite asshole. Damen is so sweet and sassy as fuck. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. Seriously. I can’t do this series justice.

5. The Foxhole Court, by Nora Sakavic (a book recommended by your favorite blog, vlog, podcast, or online book club). First book in the All for the Game series. What are you still doing here? Go start this trilogy!

6. Ella Enchanted, by Gail Carson Levine (a book that passes the bechdel test). This is such a good book. It was one of my favorite books when I was a kid. It’s basically a retelling of Cinderella, and if you’ve seen the movie version with Anne Hathaway, the book is way, way better.

7. Loki: The God Who Fell to Earth, by Oscar Basaldua (a book with the same title as a movie or TV show but is unrelated to it). God, I cannot WAIT for the Loki show. Anyway, this is a new comic about Loki (obviously). I love anything with my disaster wife in it, so 100% I recommend it.

8. As Drowning Men Clutch at Straws, by EA Roisin (a book by an author with flora or fauna in their name). Okay, so. Roisin is an Irish name that means rose, and EA Roisin is my (unpublished) pen name. In my defense, the manuscript is 186 pages long and it felt like an accomplishment when I finally finished rereading it for the first time since I finished it in 2015. Do I recommend it? I’ll let you know if it ever gets published.

9. Red White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston (a book that won an award in 2019). I’m still rereading this book. I got interrupted because my sister wanted to read it and then I got a new book for my birthday. But this is, far and away, my FAVORITE BOOK. It’s so beautiful. It was very romantic (once they stopped “hating” each other), and gay. The premise sounds far-fetched: First Son of the United States falls for the Crown Prince of England. But, guys, it’s soooo gooooood. Highly, highly, highly recommend.

10. A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor, by Hank Green (a book with only words on the cover, no images or graphics). This is the sequel to An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. This was just as great as the first, but I spent a good chunk of the book vibrating with anxiety. The stakes were way higher, and I don’t think I’ve been scared while reading a book since reading Jade Green (Phyllis Reynolds Naylor) in junior high (which was fucking terrifying, btw). But I definitely recommend it!

11. Crush, by Richard Siken (a book with a pun in the title). Guys. I read this book almost every year, because it’s quick and gorgeous and the title is accurate because it absolutely crushes me. This is a collection of LGBT (more specifically, gay) poetry, and OH MY GOD. This is in my top five favorite books. I read it all the time. This is the book that made me fall in love with poetry, back in high school.

12. The Raven King, by Nora Sakavic (a book with a bird on the cover). The second book in the All for the Game series. Trigger warnings for All the King’s Men apply to this one, too.

13. 1014: Brian Boru, by Morgan Llewelyn (a fiction or nonfiction book about a world leader). If you know me, you know I’m a complete Irish history nerd. This book is about a very important battle that took place in Ireland, and the last great High King of Ireland, Brian Boru. High Kings are mostly just an elected title, who get paid via taxes from provincial kings and chieftains, but Brian was the only one who saw as close to a united, free Ireland as it got until 1921 (although since the island is split between the North and the Republic, it’s still not totally unified). I recommend if you like history.

14. The Magnolia Sword, by Sherry Thomas (a book by a WOC). Oh. My. God. So this is a retelling of the ballad of Mulan. Mulan is a very important story to me anyway (tomboy as a child, genderfluid, bisexual as fuck), and this retelling was so good and interesting. It also features one of my favorite tropes, Surprise Gays. I highly, highly recommend.

15. My Own Ways Through This Life, by Chris Viau (a book with at least a four-star rating on Goodreads). Okay, so it miiiight have a four-star rating because of me and my camp family all rating it, but it counts. This is a mixed media autobiography by one of my camp friends. He has written at least three books, and all are available on Amazon. This is the only one I’ve read so far, and it was really interesting. I definitely recommend it.

16. Insomniac City, by Bill Hayes (a book you meant to read in 2019). This book was beautiful and heartbreaking. It was a Christmas gift from my brother. It’s a memoir about Bill’s time in a relationship with Oliver Sacks, a famous neurologist. It’s sweet and melancholic and funny. Huge recommendation.

17. Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens’ Agenda, by Becky Albertalli (a book about or involving social media). Still such a wonderful book. Better than the movie, I’m telling you. It was really good, and I definitely cried. If you liked the movie, read the book. It’s different in several ways. I think if you’re thinking in terms of trueness to the book, the movie was maybe not as good, but they’re both good as their own standalone things. But I highly recommend both.

18. Loki: Agent of Asgard, by Jason Ewing (a book that has a book on the cover). This is such a good series. It’s a great characterization of my disaster wife. I love this graphic novel series. I love how they depict Loki, how he finally gets a goddamn redemption arc. It’s a really fun read. Check it out.

19. Kings Rising, by CS Pacat (a book with a made up language). This is pushing it, since they never actually speak in the made up languages on paper. But UGH. Third book in the Captive Prince trilogy, and hands down the best. Laurent and Damen finally let go of the goddamn longing and actually do something about it.

20. The Deep, by Rivers Solomon (a book set in a country beginning with C). This is pushing it, because it’s about mermaids (basically), but I think they’re in the Caribbean. I loved this book. It was so interesting. It’s based on a song by clipping., Daveed Diggs’s group. The premise is the wajinru (the mermaid people) originated as the infants from pregnant Africans that died and were thrown overboard during the slave trade. So like, it’s a pretty heavy book. But it’s heartfelt and sweet, too. Also more Surprise Gays, which came at an excellent time (November, post-Supernatual finale) for me. I highly recommend.

21. Written in the Stars, by Alexandria Bellefleur (a book you picked because the title caught your attention). I just finished this book tonight and it was so. good. It’s basically a modern, lesbian, fake dating rendering of Pride and Prejudice. And let me tell you, if there’s one thing I love more than Pride and Prejudice, it’s lesbians. It’s really really great. I highly, highly recommend.

22. Running with Lions, by Julian Winters (a book with a three-word title). Thanks to All for the Game and movies like Handsome Devil and Boys, I have discovered that I have a huge thing for queer sport stories. So this book was really, really good. It’s got friends to enemies to friends to lovers, which is great. It’s got soccer, which is way more homoerotic now. And it’s got gays, which is really why I picked this book up. But it’s well written and the story is interesting, too. I definitely recommend.

23. The Prince and the Dressmaker, by Jen Wang (a book with a pink cover). Oh my god. AHHHHH!!! This book is amazing. It’s a graphic novel, so it’s a quick read. It’s fantasy and feels a little Cinderella-y, but that’s not the best part. The queer relationship is amazing, but that’s not the best part. The prince is genderfluid! Like me! And his mask name is Sebastian! Like me! (Okay, so my name is Bastien, but close enough) This was so so so good. I got it at a convention in February, and I was practically vibrating with excitement as I read it. I highly highly highly recommend.

24. Girl Crushed, by Katie Heaney (a book by or about a journalist). I think I’d have liked this book better if it wasn’t so...similar to my life. The main premise is the main character is getting over a sudden and painful break up, after being dumped by her long-term (maybe first? I can’t remember) girlfriend. The ex has the same initials as my ex and acted very similarly, so maybe I ended up picturing her when the character came up in the book. The ending pissed me off. It was very gay and that wasn’t the entirety of the book, so maybe you’ll like it more than me. It was just too true to life for me and opened up some old wounds I didn’t want to open up. The author is an editor at Buzzfeed, so that’s how it fits into this category.

25. Date Me, Bryson Keller, by Kevin van Whye (your favorite prompt from a past POPSUGAR Reading Challenge--a book published this year). This might be my second or third favorite book, goddamn it’s that good. It’s queer, obviously, and sort of fake dating? Bryson is dared to date someone new each week. He’s assumed to be straight, so all the people he dates are girls until Kai asks him. It’s really sweet, and there’s some issues with coming out to your family that don’t always sit well with me, but overall it was really good and it ends well. I definitely recommend.

26. Loki: Where Mischief Lies, by Mackenzi Lee (a book written by an author in their 20s). AAAHHHH!!!! Fuckin.... Okay, y’all know I have feelings about Loki. He’s my spouse and I love him to death. This book was so, so good. Loki gets sent to Victorian London to solve a mystery and meets a group of humans who know about Asgard and basically keep Midgard in order for Odin. Loki is canonically pan and genderfluid (as he should be), and Theo is a sweetheart. I wrote a 10k fic coming out of reading this book (Phantom Limb by Irishavalon on AO3, check it out.). I seriously recommend!

27. Because of Winn-Dixie, by Kate DiCamillo (a book by an author who has written more than 20 books). I read this with my third graders at the beginning of this year. Such a good book. I read it as a kid too. The movie is great but as always, book is better. Recommend.

28. Adventures of Charls, the Veretian Cloth Merchant, by CS Pacat (a book with more than 20 letters in its title). This was a reread of a short story that comes after the Captive Prince trilogy. Charls, the cloth merchant, was such a great side character in the CP trilogy, and telling the story from his perspective was great. It doesn’t have to be read after the other CP short stories, but at least the trilogy should be read first.

29. Fence vol.1, by CS Pacat (a book from a series with more than 20 books). I’m pushing it with this category. I read the first volume, but this is a comic book series, so the 20 books is more issues. This is very good too. It’s another gay sports story, and is probably going to be enemies to lovers, but they’re still enemies by the end of volume 1. Still recommend.

30. Prince’s Gambit, by CS Pacat (a book with a main character in their 20s). Book 2 of the Captive Prince trilogy. Very very good.

#books #Book Recommendations #book recs

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lgbtqareads · 5 years ago

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15 Books I Want To Read That are Releasing in the Next 6 Monthes

Every six monthes, I am excited to see the new LGBTQA+ YA books of the next monthes and while thos December, I was a little weirded out to not find them on B&N Teen previews, I was happy to see that Dahlia Adler posted her lists and opinions at lgbtqreads.com. So, of course I went through and narrowed the list from 72 to 34 to 15, only choosing books that I felt I really wanted to read and not just fall for all the amazing synopses and covers, which let's be honest, are all truly masterpieces.

But enough introduction. Let's get into my to be bought (and read) list of the first six monthes of 2020:

We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding - JANUARY 7TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Told in dual timelines—half of the chapters moving forward in time and half moving backward—We Used to Be Friends explores the most traumatic breakup of all: that of childhood besties. At the start of their senior year in high school, James (a girl with a boy’s name) and Kat are inseparable, but by graduation, they’re no longer friends. James prepares to head off to college as she reflects on the dissolution of her friendship with Kat while, in alternating chapters, Kat thinks about being newly in love with her first girlfriend and having a future that feels wide open. Over the course of senior year, Kat wants nothing more than James to continue to be her steady rock, as James worries that everything she believes about love and her future is a lie when her high-school sweetheart parents announce they’re getting a divorce. Funny, honest, and full of heart, We Used to Be Friends tells of the pains of growing up and growing apart.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Relationship breakups may be heavily covered in YA, but friendship breakup stories are still few and far between. Enter the story of James and Kat, two girls who were once beyond close and now watch their friendship unravel as college nears. Things are complicated for both girls: James’s mother has left her and her father for another guy, and she doesn’t know how to talk about it, not even to Kat or her still-too-present ex, Logan. Kat’s discovering that her feelings for her new friend Quinn aren’t strictly “friendly,” and in fact, she’s realizing she’s bisexual and falling head over heels for a girl. It’s a bittersweet story to be sure, and while it definitely has its fun scenes, close moments, painful familial interactions, and tingly romance (what Spalding book doesn’t??), you’ll spend much of the book wishing you could push the characters together and say “Just talk already”…but isn’t that exactly how life goes?

My Opinion: As someone who has been through too many friendship breakups to count, this read is going to be devastating. But I put this book on my list for one reason: the synopsis made it feel so much like life that I couldn't help but feel that the story would pull me into James and Kat's universe and tear my heart into pieces. I absolutely cannot wait to have my heartbroken.

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The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper - FEBRUARY 4TH

Goodreads Synopsis: As a successful social media journalist with half a million followers, seventeen-year-old Cal is used to sharing his life online. But when his pilot father is selected for a highly publicized NASA mission to Mars, Cal and his family relocate from Brooklyn to Houston and are thrust into a media circus.

Amidst the chaos, Cal meets sensitive and mysterious Leon, another “Astrokid,” and finds himself falling head over heels—fast. As the frenzy around the mission grows, so does their connection. But when secrets about the program are uncovered, Cal must find a way to reveal the truth without hurting the people who have become most important to him.

Expertly capturing the thrill of first love and the self-doubt all teens feel, debut author Phil Stamper is a new talent to watch.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: This is a lovely and bighearted debut chock full of space nerdery, big dreams, new beginnings, and social media scandal. Cal’s life is completely uprooted when his dad shocks them all by being chosen for a space mission, something his family had never taken seriously as a lifelong dream. Worst of all, he’s forbidden from documenting life in the new compound, forcing him to leave his massive social media following behind. On the bright side, there’s Leon, son of another astronaut on the program and immediate thief of Cal’s heart. But when things go awry in the program and secrets are revealed, Cal will have to decide exactly what he’s willing to do to get the truth out there, and who he’s willing to lose.

My Opinion: Social Media? Media circus? Texas? NASA? First loves? And a choice that could implode Cal's life from the inside? The name Cal? Other than Texas, a state which I hate, all of this adds up to something good, hopefully so good that I can forget that Texas is involved at all. So, basically, it has to reach Red, White, and Royal Blue levels, which is the only book so far that has made me like Texas at all. But I trust that it will do well. Plus it was reviewed by 4 of authors on my queer bookshelf - Becky Albertalli, Adam Silvera, Shaun David Hutchinson, and Caleb Roehrig. Bonus points for not being a graphic novel like I feared it was.

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Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales -MARCH 3RD

Goodreads Synopsis: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda meets Clueless, inspired by Grease.

When Ollie meets his dream guy, Will, over summer break, he thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After. But once summer’s ended, Will stops texting him back, and Ollie finds himself one prince short of a fairytale ending. To complicate the fairytale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country—Will’s school—where Ollie finds that the sweet, affectionate and comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted—and, to be honest, a bit of a jerk.

Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship. But as Will starts ‘coincidentally’ popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again.

Right? Right.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Grease goes gay YA in this rom-com about two boys whose dreamy summer fling comes crashing into a harsh reality when our lead, Oliver, transfers to Will’s school thanks to a family crisis-driven move, only to find out Will isn’t Out and isn’t about to be. As Ollie finds his own ways to settle in, he can’t seem to shake Will’s presence. But whether there’s a future for them remains to be seen. This sophomore novel is warmly delightful and delightfully warm, with some tears on the side for the aforementioned family crisis, and some hard-earned queer solidarity is the icing on the cake.

My Opinion: The last musical-ly queer book I read was What If It's Us? so Ollie and Will have a lot to live up to, but it gets points for getting an Instagram shoutout from Becky Albertalli herself. From the synopses, it sounds like a case of strangers to lovers to strangers to maybe friends to maybe something more and hopefully a happy ending, but what I look forward to the most is rewriting Summer Nights as I read this book.

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Super Adjacent by Crystal Cestari - MARCH 17TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Claire has always wanted to work with superheroes, from collecting Warrior Nation cards as a kid to drafting "What to Say to a Hero" speeches in her diary. Now that she's landed a coveted internship with the Chicago branch of Warrior Nation, Claire is ready to prove she belongs, super or not. But complicating plans is the newest WarNat hero, Girl Power (aka Joy), who happens to be egotistical and self-important ... and pretty adorable.

Bridgette, meanwhile, wants out of WarNat. After years of dating the famous Vaporizer (aka Matt), she's sick of playing second, or third, or five-hundredth fiddle to all the people-in-peril in the city of Chicago. Of course, once Bridgette meets Claire-who's clearly in need of a mentor and wingman-giving up WarNat becomes slightly more complicated. It becomes a lot more complicated when Joy, Matt, and the rest of the heroes go missing, leaving only Claire and Bridgette to save the day.

In this fresh and funny take on the world of supers, author Crystal Cestari spotlights what it's like to be the seemingly non-super half of a dynamic duo with banter-filled romance and bold rescues perfect for readers seeking a great escape.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Claire is a superhero fangirl, a card-carrying member of Warrior Nation. And when she finds an unexpected way (with some unexpected help) into winning an internship with the Chicago WarNat branch, it should be everything she’s ever dreamed of. But that unexpected help is proving very difficult to work with; it’s in the form of Girl Power (aka Joy), the newest hero and a pain in Claire’s butt. A very, very cute pain in Claire’s butt. But distraction or no distraction, Claire’s determined to prove herself, especially when she and Bridgette, a WarNat, who’s tired of being “the girlfriend” to an even more famous hero, decides to mentor her and they end up having to be exactly the heroes Chicago needs.

My Opinion: Two words. Super. Heroes.

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Music From Another World by Robin Talley - MARCH 31ST

Goodreads Synopsis: It’s summer 1977 and closeted lesbian Tammy Larson can’t be herself anywhere. Not at her strict Christian high school, not at her conservative Orange County church and certainly not at home, where her ultrareligious aunt relentlessly organizes antigay political campaigns. Tammy’s only outlet is writing secret letters in her diary to gay civil rights activist Harvey Milk…until she’s matched with a real-life pen pal who changes everything.

Sharon Hawkins bonds with Tammy over punk music and carefully shared secrets, and soon their letters become the one place she can be honest. The rest of her life in San Francisco is full of lies. The kind she tells for others—like helping her gay brother hide the truth from their mom—and the kind she tells herself. But as antigay fervor in America reaches a frightening new pitch, Sharon and Tammy must rely on their long-distance friendship to discover their deeply personal truths, what they’ll stand for…and who they’ll rise against.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Talley is one of queer YA’s most prolific genre jumpers, but she seems to be making herself beautifully at home in historical with this follow-up to 2018’s Pulp, again set amid a context of vital queer American history. This time around, it’s 1977, and Tammy Larson would love more than anything to come out of the closet as a lesbian, but that’s a major no-go where she lives. Her only outlet is to write “letters” to the activist Harvey Milk, at least until she’s matched with a pen pal to whom she can write letters for real. Sharon makes for a much better companion than Tammy’s diary, and she can sympathize, given her brother is gay and feeling all the same misery in the wake of Anita Bryant’s leading to a successful repeal of their protections. Together they’ll find their own brand of activism and learn to fight back against a world of hate.

My Opinion: Ever since reading Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden, I have been craving more historical sapphic girls. With Pulp in my Kindle library and this in my future shopping cart + Casey McQuiston's time traveling book in 2021, I am bound to get a fix for that craving soon. Hopefully, it will also cure heartbreak.

Loveless by Alice Oseman - APRIL 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: The fourth novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman – one of the most authentic and talked-about voices in contemporary YA.

Georgia feels loveless – in the romantic sense, anyway. She’s eighteen, never been in a relationship, or even had a crush on a single person in her whole life. She thinks she's an anomaly, people call her weird, and she feels a little broken. But she still adores romance – weddings, fan fiction, and happily ever afters. She knows she’ll find her person one day … right?

After a disastrous summer, Georgia is now at university, hundreds of miles from home. She is more determined than ever to find love – and her annoying roommate, Rooney, is a bit of a love expert, so perhaps she can help.

But maybe Georgia just doesn’t feel that way about guys. Or girls. Or anyone at all. Maybe that's okay. Maybe she can find happiness without falling in love. And maybe Rooney is a little more loveless than she first appears.

LOVELESS is a journey of identity, self-acceptance, and finding out how many different types of love there really are. And that no one is really loveless after all.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Oseman’s crossed the pond before with Radio Silence, so this American’s fingers are crossed she’ll do it again with her newest, about a girl named Georgia who’s struggling with the fact that she’s eighteen and has never had so much as a crush. She’s sick of people thinking she’s broken or weird, and it isn’t like she isn’t into romance; she’s just not into it for herself. When she gets to university, she thinks maybe she can “fix” things with her roommate’s help. But what if it turns out there’s nothing to fix, and Georgia’s great and perfectly capable of happiness just as she is?

My Opinion: Alice Oseman has written a-spec characters before, but it's possible that this seemingly aromantic character will be the one that I'll read first. Not to say Radio Silence wasn't amazing, I just wouldn't know. But I can't wait to find out when I read it after I read this one. And then maybe her other books too.

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Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan - APRIL 21ST

Goodreads Synopsis: Jubilee has it all together. She’s an elite cellist, and when she’s not working in her stepmom’s indie comic shop, she’s prepping for the biggest audition of her life. Ridley is barely holding it together. His parents own the biggest comic-store chain in the country, and Ridley can’t stop disappointing them–that is, when they’re even paying attention. They meet one fateful night at a comic convention prom, and the two can’t help falling for each other. Too bad their parents are at each other’s throats every chance they get, making a relationship between them nearly impossible . . . unless they manage to keep it a secret. Then again, the feud between their families may be the least of their problems. As Ridley’s anxiety spirals, Jubilee tries to help but finds her focus torn between her fast-approaching audition and their intensifying relationship. What if love can’t conquer all? What if each of them needs more than the other can give?

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Dugan debuted with one of my absolute favorite queer YA rom-coms (seriously, if you haven’t yet read Hot Dog Girl, do yourself a favor), so I’m thrilled to see her returning with another one, this one an m/f pairing where both halves of the couple are bi (or, more accurately, one is bi and one is still figuring it out). [Jubilee] is an elite cellist with a major audition coming up and a side job working at her stepmom’s indie comic shop. Ridley works at his parents’ comic shop too, only theirs is a big chain, and no friend to the little guy. Which makes it a little difficult when the two meet at a comic-con prom and immediately hit it off, despite their family feud. I’ll take Romeo & Juliet with a much happier ending and heaps of bisexuality any day, wouldn’t you?

My Opinion: Romeo and Juliet retelling + comic convention prom + bisexuality + indie comic shops = a recipe for me to like a book.

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When You Get the Chance by Tom Ryan and Robin Stevenson-MAY 5TH

Goodreads Synopsis: [Edited] Cousins Mark [from the East coast of Canada] and Talia [from the West coast of Canada] go on a road trip to Pride in Toronto as they search for love and adventure and uncover family secrets along the way.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: One of the things I’m often asked to recommend is books that feature mlm and wlw solidarity, and I especially love giving answers that show it not just in characters but in authorship. Here, two Canadian rock stars of queer YA come together with a story about cousins named Mark and Talia who are reunited from their respective Canadian coasts after a death in the family and decide to take a road trip together to Toronto so Talia can see her non-binary partner and Mark can get to Pride. The two don’t have much in common, and they’ll have to let Mark’s little sister tag along, but they both know some kind of magic awaits them in TO, and they can’t wait to get there.

My Opinion: There is too much to love about this book. Canada! WLW or WLNB/MLM solidarity! Canadian road trip! Road trips in general! Canadian Pride! PRIDE IN GENERAL! A nonbinary s/o! TORONTO, CANADA! And family secrets! Plus it gives off You Know Me Well vibes, and that's one of my favorites.

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The Extraordinaries by T.J. Klune - MAY 5TH

Goodreads Synopsis:

Some people are extraordinary. Some are just extra.

Nick Bell? Not extraordinary. But being the most popular fanfiction writer in the Extraordinaries fandom is a superpower, right?

After a chance encounter with Shadow Star, Nova City’s mightiest hero (and Nick’s biggest crush), Nick sets out to make himself extraordinary. And he’ll do it with or without the reluctant help of Seth Gray, Nick’s best friend (and maybe the love of his life).

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Klune’s doing double duty this year (or maybe even more? Damn, it’s hard to keep up), following up an adult contemporary fantasy with his first entry into YA, about a boy named Nick who happens to be the Extraordinaries fandom’s most popular fanfic writer, and who aims to be even more extraordinary when he meets the hero he’s been crushing on. (But maybe he’s in love with his best friend, Seth? It’s complicated. It’s always complicated.)

My Opinion: What can I say? I'm a sucker for books about fanfic writers. And for best friends to lovers stories, so hopefully this is one, and not a fan-dates-hero story.

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The Summer of Impossibilities by Rachel Allen - MAY 12TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Skyler, Ellie, Scarlett and Amelia Grace are forced to spend the summer at the lake house where their moms became best friends.

One can’t wait. One would rather gnaw off her own arm than hang out with a bunch of strangers just so their moms can drink too much wine and sing Journey two o’clock in the morning. Two are sisters. Three are currently feuding with their mothers.

One almost sets her crush on fire with a flaming marshmallow. Two steal the boat for a midnight joyride that goes horribly, awkwardly wrong. All of them are hiding something.

One falls in love with a boy she thought she despised. Two fall in love with each other. None of them are the same at the end of the summer.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Allen’s been a personal favorite of mine since her subversive feminist debut, 17 First Kisses, and I’m thrilled to see her releasing her first queer YA, which basically looks like a gay Traveling Pants except not all the girls actually wanna be spending the summer together at the lake house where their moms became besties. Most of them can’t even stand their moms right now. All of them have secrets. And two of them…well, two of them are in love with each other, so one way or another it’s gonna be a hell of a summer.

My Opinion: Look, I'm going to be honest, I saw that it was co.pared to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and I immediately added it to my list. Plus, strangers to friends to lovers? I love.

Date Me, Bryson Keller! by Kevin van Whye - MAY 19TH

Goodreads Synopsis: What If It's Us meets To All the Boys I've Loved Before in this upbeat and heartfelt boy-meets-boy romance that feels like a modern twist on a '90s rom-com!

Everyone knows about the dare: Each week, Bryson Keller must date someone new--the first person to ask him out on Monday morning. Few think Bryson can do it. He may be the king of Fairvale Academy, but he's never really dated before.

Until a boy asks him out, and everything changes.

Kai Sheridan didn't expect Bryson to say yes. So when Bryson agrees to secretly go out with him, Kai is thrown for a loop. But as the days go by, he discovers there's more to Bryson beneath the surface, and dating him begins to feel less like an act and more like the real thing. Kai knows how the story of a gay boy liking someone straight ends. With his heart on the line, he's awkwardly trying to navigate senior year at school, at home, and in the closet, all while grappling with the fact that this "relationship" will last only five days. After all, Bryson Keller is popular, good-looking, and straight . . . right?

Kevin van Whye delivers an uplifting and poignant coming-out love story that will have readers rooting for these two teens to share their hearts with the world--and with each other.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: If this book looks like the cutest, fluffiest, most make-you-melt kind of romance, it’s because it is…at least in the little romantic bubble that ensued when when Kai took advantage of a dare that requires Bryson Keller to agree to date the first person to ask him out every Monday morning for that week. But outside the bubble, the world is still wondering who Bryson Keller’s mystery girlfriend is, the one person not to shout from the rooftops that she’s got the guy. And Kai isn’t gonna be the one to tell them it isn’t a girl at all; his spontaneous request made Bryson the first and only person he’s ever come out to. But when both the answer and Kai himself are forcibly outed, he and the boy he’s come to fall for, the boy who’s only just realized he himself is gay, will have to band together and put their relationship through the ultimate test.

My Opinion: A lot of these books are comparing themselves to Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, and this one's even comparing itself to To All the Boys I've Loved Before, so it's basically setting me up for disappointment, but I will admit, I am judging this book by it's cover, and that smile is too cute to resist.

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I Kissed Alice by Anna Birch - MAY 26TH

Goodreads Synopsis: For fans of Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda and Fangirl, I Kissed Alice is a romantic comedy about enemies, lovers, and everything in between.

Rhodes and Iliana couldn't be more different, but that's not why they hate each other. Hyper-gifted artist Rhodes has always excelled at Alabama's Conservatory of the Arts despite a secret bout of creator's block, while transfer student Iliana tries to outshine everyone with her intense, competitive work ethic. Since only one of them can get the coveted Capstone scholarship, the competition between them is fierce.

They both escape the pressure on a fanfic site where they are unknowingly collaborating on a graphic novel. And despite being worst enemies in real life, their anonymous online identities I-Kissed-Alice and Curious-in-Cheshire are starting to like each other...a lot. When the truth comes out, will they destroy each other's future?

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Sign me the hell up for literally every enemies-to-lovers f/f rom-com, but especially this one, where the girls who hate each other at Alabama’s Conservatory for the Arts have no idea they’re falling for each other online as they collaborate on a graphic novel for a fanfic site under their online identities. That’s…everything I love in book? Yep, pretty much!

My Opinion: This one is on my list because Alice is basically my favorite sapphic girl name ever after my rewrite of the song, All the Girls Love Alice. Unfortunately, neither girl is named Alice, but it does seem to involve something about Alice in Wonderland. Maybe the graphic novel they're creating is a queer retelling of the classic story? Can't wait to find out.

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Six Angry Girls by Adrienne Kisner - JUNE 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: A story of mock trial, feminism, and the inherent power found in a pair of knitting needles.

Raina Petree is crushing her senior year, until her boyfriend dumps her, the drama club (basically) dumps her, the college of her dreams slips away, and her arch-nemesis triumphs.

Things aren’t much better for Millie Goodwin. Her father treats her like a servant, and the all-boy Mock Trial team votes her out, even after she spent the last three years helping to build its success.

But then, an advice columnist unexpectedly helps Raina find new purpose in a pair of knitting needles and a politically active local yarn store. This leads to an unlikely meeting in the girls’ bathroom, where Raina inspires Millie to start a rival team. The two join together and recruit four other angry girls to not only take on Mock Trial, but to smash the patriarchy in the process.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Kisner is three for three in putting gloriously queer YA on shelves, and I am in love with the idea of this newest, which takes the famous “Twelve Angry Men” and situates it in Mock Trial with an ace lead. Raina’s killing it at life, until suddenly she isn’t. Millie’s in a similar spot, having just been ousted from the all-male Mock Trial team. When the two pair up to start a rival girls’ team, it isn’t just their opponents they’re gunning for—it’s the whole motherfluffin’ patriarchy.

My Opinion:

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The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson - JUNE 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: The State of Us is the story of Dean and Dre—the 16-year-old sons of the Republican and Democratic candidates for President of the United States—who fall in love on the sidelines of their parents' presidential campaigns.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Tis the year for political YAs, for obvious reasons, and this contemporary romance also does double duty of being a touching demisexual coming out story that happens to take place across the aisle. (The political aisle, that is.) When Dean, the son the of the Republican candidate, and Dre, son of the Democratic candidate, find themselves locked in close quarters, they’re surprised to find that they quite enjoy the company of someone else who knows what it’s like to be in the junior spotlight. Soon, romance sparks, which is a bit of problem considering the whole “opponents” thing, not to mention Dean still trying to figure out how to deal with and discuss the fact that he’s demisexual. But someone out there seems determined to make their problem much, much bigger, and they’ll have to figure out who wants their relationship outed, how they can make it work, and how they can reconcile a future.

My Opinion: While unfortunately this love story has no Prince from England or Wales, this book is definitely in the same genre as Red, White, and Royal Blue, though of course Dean and Dre will be more YA than our favorite international political couple. No matter what, I can tell I'm going to love the angst in this one.

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The Falling in Love Montage by Clara Smyth - JUNE 9TH

Goodreads Synopsis:

Saoirse doesn’t believe in love at first sight or happy endings. If they were real, her mother would still be able to remember her name and not in a care home with early onset dementia. A condition that Saoirse may one day turn out to have inherited.So she’s not looking for a relationship. She doesn’t see the point in igniting any romantic sparks if she’s bound to burn out.

But after a chance encounter at a house party, Saoirse is about to break her own rules. For a girl with one blue freckle, an irresistible sense of mischief, and a passion for rom-coms.

Unbothered by Saoirse’s rulebook, Ruby proposes a loophole: They don’t need true love to have one summer of fun, complete with every cliché, rom-com montage-worthy date they can dream up—and a binding agreement to end their romance come fall. It would be the perfect plan, if they weren’t forgetting one thing about the Falling in Love Montage: when it’s over, the characters actually fall in love… for real.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis:

Love books that make you laugh, swoon, and cry? Then you are going to fall head over heels for Smyth’s debut, an Ireland-set romantic contemporary about a girl named Saiorse who’s losing her mother to early-onset dementia and is determined never to get involved with anyone as a result…until she meets Ruby, and all bets are off. The girls agree to a no-strings-attached summer of just the good parts of romance, the movie montage where the couple does all sorts of fun things as they fall in love. But when the end of the summer comes, will they be able to let go?

My Opinion: The falling in love montage is my favorite part of love stories and I can't wait to read one set in Ireland! No strings attached? I don't think so Saiorse and Ruby. If they aren't together by the end of the book, I'll be tying the strings myself and writing fanfiction for days. I've only had one relationship that would qualify for a falling in love montage, most likely because I've only been in love once, and that's... ended, so I need something to fill my heart and this book just might be it.

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Check out @lgbtqreads for more recommendations and check out the link at the top of the post for the rest of the list!

#we used to be friends amy spalding #the gravity of us phil stamper #only mostly devastated sophie gonzales #super adjacent crystal cestari #music from another world robin talley #loveless alice oseman #verona comics jennifer dugan #when you get the chance tom ryan & robin stevenson #the extraordinaries tj klune #the summer of impossibilities rachel allen #date me bryson keller! kevin van whye #i kissed alice anna birch #six angry girls adrienne kisner #the state of us shaun david hutchinson #the falling in love montage ciara smyth #2020 reads #lgbtqareads book recs

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veridium · 6 years ago

Text

the dark side of your room

hey, it’s an All Time Low song for the College AU Update!! Woo!

Time for some more queer fluff and anxiety, what I do best!

masterpost // last chapter

Olivia: Hey, still down for me to come over in an hour?

Cassandra: Yeah, I’m just running errands. I will be back but I might hop in the shower. I’ll leave a key under the mat.

Olivia: Ohhh, a key...we’re getting heavy.

Cassandra: Don’t get cocky.

This must be like what people who are ‘Superb Owl’ fans experience the week leading up to the big sports game they all watch. Day after day, since the one when she asked her to come to the party it gets harder to breathe. It might also be from the surmounting happiness that she is in no way used to, that is nevertheless overwhelming. She can’t do what she usually does and hideout in Ellinor’s company, because she is just as nervous as she is -- if not more. Poor Ellinor. Their conversation by the soccer field is still fresh in her mind even two days after. Now, it’s Friday, making it 24 hours until it all goes down.

Whatever ‘it all’ is, remains to be seen.

Speak of the devil. She catches a familiar, similarly petite figure walking past her open doorway while she’s finishing up getting ready for the night.

“Hey!” she peers out the doorway to see Ellinor fumbling with keys sluggishly, backpack on her shoulder. “Everything okay?”

Ellinor glances briefly. “Yep! All good.”

“You sure?”

“...Are you?”

Olivia strolls out into the hall and to her, all the while Ellinor finds her key and slides it into the lock. She stops short of twisting it, mouth tight with bated breath behind it, so it seems. In return, Liv grins in order to provide some form of comfort.

“At least our costumes look hot.”

“They do. They really do.”

“...Ugh, I’m so worried Dorian is going to make Cassandra want to punch him or something--”

“And if the lesbians scare the shit out of Cullen, I’m gonna--”

“Oh God, Cullen and gays...Cullen and the leftist kombucha hipsters?! Do we even know--”

“We don’t! That’s what I’m saying! And isn’t this Cassandra’s first real thing, going out with a girl?”

Olivia bites her lip. Fuck. She’s right. “Oh no. I’m taking her to the lion’s den right off the bat. Oh my God, why didn’t I think of this. I should have called for brunch like normal queer people do. The fuck is wrong with me?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know the gay agenda protocol for this, you never gave me a copy!”

“You aren’t supposed to have one, Ellinor, it’s not a Reader’s Digest.”

“Pfft,” Ellinor leans unto her hip and rolls her eyes. “Fine. Figure out the heirosapphics all on your own, then.”

Olivia pouts. “You stole that joke from me,” she grumbles, before brushing hair out of her eyes. “I have to get going, I’m supposed to be at Cassandra’s in like...whatever amount of minutes is left. I don’t know.” She pulls out her phone to check the time. Fifteen minutes, to be exact.

“Well then go on, get out of here,” Ellinor shoos, “I got plans too, anyway.”

“With C--”

“Yes, with him! Who else, the Pope?”

Olivia shrugs and dances off back on her toes towards her door. “Touchy Ducky!”

“I hate when you call me th--” the rest of Ellinor’s avarice is cut off by the door shutting. Yeah, yeah, she hates being called a touchy ducky. Which means, naturally, Olivia will have to tell it to Cullen and say she loves it, because pranks are healthy for any sustainable friendship. She giggle-snorts all by herself and searches around for her pair of sneakers she tossed somewhere earlier in the week, the perfect casual cap-off to her black leggings and tank top. Whatever tomorrow night turns out to be, at least she has tonight.

Only five minutes late, Olivia makes use of the key hiding for her when knocking doesn’t work. When she enters, the holiest of smells -- Italian spices that promise carbs -- greets her first. The kitchen is lit up, and on the stove is a big pasta pot that seems to sing to her. She follows the aroma over to it and finds steaming spaghetti, sauce, meat balls, large forked serving spoon and all. Beside it are two small bowls, and only two. Was Cullen not around? Eh, figures, if Ellinor said they had plans.

That means Cassandra made this. Cassandra made this for her. God, it’s been too long since she had any close associates who knew their way around a kitchen. Ellinor is a walking bio-hazard, Theia knows every order-in number in the city, and Josephine...well, she probably cooks, but she just doesn’t brag about it.

A whine gets caught in her throat -- the kind of “aw” one she makes at puppies in the mall and kids in the park. This is so sweet.

She drops her shoulder bag on the small dining table and lets herself wander. One slow loop around the coffee table, absentmindedly observing all the furniture. Sounds of a shower echo from the other side of the suite, and the mystery is solved just as to where Cassandra is. She must have gotten right into cooking and forgotten to shower when she got home.

Olivia comes to a halt at the mouth of the dark hallway and peeks with growing curiosity...

She’s been down to Cullen’s side, during the infamous occasion she went a bit Rutherferal, but that’s long in the past. Okay, a week, but the past is the past. Cassandra’s, on the other hand, is like some mystical Narnia closet. No one’s been in, and no one’s gotten out as far as she knows. The first time she slept over it was implicitly clear the living room was where she was invited and nowhere else.

What’s so mysterious about a dorm suite bedroom, anyway? What, is she hiding two twin beds down there put together to make a queen? The more she speculates, the more her feet inch closer and closer to the mostly-shut door. The light from the other side almost adds to the temptation. Liv, don’t, this is so weird. Yet, she keeps going, all the way until she reaches the door. She looks back down the other end, silent as sin: the shower is still going. So, against all logic in her head saying ‘stay in your lane,’ she pushes the door open. Expecting the worst, like in that Fifty Shades bullshit film.

The first thing to hit, again, is the smell -- it’s not spaghetti. Lavender? Lavender. In the corner on a desk a diffuser is on, spouting steam into the air. It invites her in like a shiny thing would to a squirrel, and in the process, the rest of the space becomes unfolds: A made bed with navy blue comforter and pillow cases, a stuffed bear against the throw pillow -- wait a minute, she has a stuffed bear? Yes, a stuffed bear with a button nose and all. Is that what she doesn’t want anyone seeing? Just a stuffed animal? I have five under my bed alone...

On the wall facing the door the curtains are pulled but the window is shut, and the floor is completely clean. The laundry basket by the door is almost empty, holding nothing but a t-shirt and a few socks. Up on the wall lining her bed there are origami stars and shapes taped all over, some making what look like constellations. They’re beautifully meticulous, just like Cassandra.

Nothing surprises her more than what she finds in and around her corner desk on the right, diagonal to her bed. Standard dorm honey-colored wood and red upholstery on the chair. Her laptop squarely centered, with a cup of pens and pencils off to the side. Books stacked neatly all around. On the attached shelf above it all are pictures with black frames, all shorter than the gold, silver, and blue trophy for some sport or another.

The pictures, though: that is what draws her in even more. From left to right there are four, total: the first shows two adults smiling with two kids: a boy, standing in front of the man holding onto his arm across his chest, and the other, a girl, held on the woman’s hip. She’s wearing a pale pink babydoll dress, she can’t be any other than six by the look of her baby face and twisted pair of buns in her long, dark hair.

Is that her? Wait, shit, then this must be her family.

The next picture provides more answers: the same adult couple, only the kids are older. The teenage boy is holding a soccer ball against his hip, and he has his hand on his Mother’s shoulder. They’re at the park, or somewhere green, and Cassandra is sitting on the blanket hugging her knees in a similar fashion as she did when she and Olivia lounged on the field. No baby pink anything in sight, though, just grey basketball shorts and a shirt, both a little big on her. The third is one of her and the boy again, her on his back riding piggyback and smiling such a joyous smile, it looks as if she was about to burst. Cheesy, and Cassandra is never cheesy. It’s heartwarming, the way the boy is looking at her from his periphery, chest puffed with pride.

The fourth and final one, though, is just him. He’s much older, and the picture is weathered even with the glass shielding it. As if it spend years just by itself, stashed or crammed somewhere, before finally being framed. The shot is off-center, tilted at an angle that cuts off the top of his head, making the shot look clumsy. He’s leaning against a car front, arms crossed and strong. The washed out lighting, like it was taken by a disposable camera, makes everything seem too bright: except for him, his smile, and his car.

He looks so nice. Why does she never talk ab--

“What are you doing?”

Olivia flinches like a cat struck by lightning, whirling around with her hands linking up behind her. She had been leaning over, soaking up every last inch of detail, but to the outside eye she simply looked nosy.

“I! Ah!” she struggles, “I’m...I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Cassandra shows no sign of intended placation. “You didn’t mean to, but you did.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I fucked up. “I did, b-but, I’m sorry. I just wanted...I think I was just…”

She tosses her clothes several feet into the hamper. “Just what? Going into someone’s room without asking or telling them?”

Olivia blushes and looks away, suddenly aware that she’s standing there with nothing but a blue towel on her and skin still damp from the shower. If there was a God, he would smite her this instant from her foolishness.

“Cassandra, I’m sorry,” she can’t say it enough, “I just--”

“Can you at least let me get clothes on?” Her tone is straight-and-narrow, and Olivia can’t quite discern whether she is deeply pissed or deeply understanding. She knows what she sounds like when she’s losing her cool, and it’s not anything like this. It’s unnerving, to say the least. Though, the guilt leads her to vacate the room without so much as a word, shoulders hunched and arms crossed as she skims past her.

The door shuts, leaving her to think about what she did. And boy, does she: making a slow death-march to the couch where she sits smack-dab in the middle. Every half-second feels like an hour, her knee anxiously bobbing. Her arms haven’t left her chest, and her lungs feel like kiddy pools for air.

Then, at last, Cassandra re-emerges. She’s wearing shorts, a black, slim hoodie, and a frown. Rather than join her on the couch she leans against the corner of the hallway wall and folds her own arms, phone in her hand. Olivia gets the courage to meet her eyes, and when she does, she’s reminded of how fatal ‘disappointment’ can feel.

“Well, I’m waiting,” Cassandra says flatly.

“Waiting for...for what?”

“For an explanation as to why you were nosing around my bedroom.”

“I was...um, the thing is, I couldn’t find forks in the--”

“Olivia Sinclair.”

Liv swallows and curls her legs up against her, hands hooking under her thighs. Humor won’t save her this time. “I don’t know! I just...the door was open, and for some reason, I just kept going and going until I was hip-deep and I just...didn’t think...well, fuck, okay, I didn’t think. That’s what happened. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, just please, don’t…” she’s spiraling into nervousness and it makes her words start to blur into one another. The sound of pleading, the kind that comes from someone who’s grown up being corrected too harshly for her age. “Please, I didn’t mean to...t-to...ugh, shit.”

Cassandra’s stoic, but just as Olivia is about to break from the tension it causes, she sighs through her nose and rolls her eyes, chin lifting towards the ceiling as she does so. “At least you’re bad at lying.”

“I know I c--h-hey! I’m not...I…” as she grumbles, she only vindicates Cassandra’s opinion, and elects to shut her mouth rather than dig the hole any deeper.

“Mhm,” Cassandra hums, moving away from the wall. The way her hips sway, like she has the upper hand and most of the battlefield already won, is both attractive and disconcerting. She comes to the side of the coffee table closest to the couch, sitting down on it directly in front of her. It’s so close, she has to keep a knee on either side of Olivia’s legs, but she makes do.

“I don’t like people invading my space,” she says as she settles in, very matter-of-fact.

Olivia is stiller than a grave casket, and stays that way. “Mhm...”

Cassandra smirks drily. “If you know, then why did you do it?”

“Because I didn’t think...”

“You weren’t thinking? You sure about that?” Her stare focuses, as if she has the power to break glass with it alone; only, Olivia is the one to crack.

“I...guess I just wanted to know about you. Maybe I thought your room would...satiate my curiosity.”

Cassandra raises a brow. “Ah, so there’s the answer.”

Olivia wants to leap out the window for a cold breeze. Or escape...kill two birds with one stone, as it were. No one likes their space to be invaded. Why did I do it? That’s such a no-go. God dammit.

“I guess I just wondered.”

“Wondered?”

“About your background. Your...childhood...and your interests…”

“Snooping is a great tactic...if it’s a matter of national security.”

Olivia huffs through her nose. “Oh, yeah, okay, technically that is correct. But...but…”

“But what, Liv? Are you suddenly scared of me?”

No. No, no, no. “No, it’s just!” She stops herself before she is definitely in yelling territory for no good reason. “I’m just nervous about everything, all the time, and sometimes it’s weird. I overthink even when I do impulsive things like go in someone’s room and look at their family pictures and gawk at their teddy bear and their fancy oil diffuser and yes, okay, I gawked. I admit it. It was all gawk….just...gawk-able...fuck, is that even a word? Fuck…” she whispers the last expletive as she leans forward onto her lap, putting her face in her hands. The solace she finds from Cassandra’s discerning capabilities only goes so far, though.

Then, in the self-induced darkness, she hears Cassandra chuckle, low and warm despite the conflict. It’s almost unbelievable, until it’s followed up by the sensation of hands holding onto her forearms and lips pressing to the top of her head. That makes it definitely unbelievable. A lingering kiss, before her hands move up to Olivia’s shoulders and start to rub nice and slow.

“I was only looking for an apology, not to put you to the guillotine.”

“I apologized like five times in one breath, though,” Olivia replies as she lifts her eyes out from her palms.

“Yeah, but you panicked.”

“I did.”

“I was looking for more of a calm, collected, sophisticated apology. Maybe even slightly poetic. Rhyme optional.”

Olivia’s mortification is olympic swimming pool levels, but even then, she finds she cannot escape the desire to giggle at her humor when it shows. It’s both kind-hearted and measured. Her hands go to her lap and she sits up more, chin still tucked from bashfulness.

“I can’t rhyme for shit, but...I can do sophisticated.”

Cassandra grins. “I’ll take it.”

Olivia takes a deep breath, mostly for herself and her still racing heartbeat. “I’m sorry I went into your space uninvited. I should have asked, and communicated, and respected your boundaries. I will take care to do that from now on.” The few seconds of ‘deliberation’ are more than enough on what remains of her nerves.

Luckily, Cassandra ends the anguish with a soft smile. “Very impressive. I don’t forgive you, but it’s impre--”

“What!?”

Cassandra bursts into a laugh, leaning back as she puts her fingers to her mouth. “I’m sor-rry, I couldn’t h...help--”

“You could help it, Pentaghast,” Olivia smiles, and takes it upon herself to push Cassandra the rest of the way down by her shoulders until she’s laying flat and expectant. Rather than do as she did in the field and make it interesting, she jumps off the couch and jogs to the kitchen.

“Kiss my ass, I’m getting pasta!”

“Hey!” Cass jumps up, “do I not get any appreciation as the cook?”

“No! Psh, you must be new here.” Olivia grabs a bowl and takes hold of the serving spoon.

“Oh am I?”

“Yep! Fresh mea-yAGH!” She shrieks as Cassandra’s hands rush around Olivia’s sides so quick they tickle her, cutting her off in her triumph. She giggles and curls against her hold, dropping the thankfully hardy bowl onto the stove while the spoon remains in a death grip. It’s not enough calamity to distract her from the silly awe she’s in, being like this. And Cassandra just rests her chin on her shoulder and chuckles along. Her strength nearly picks Olivia clean up off the kitchen tile.

“Stoopp! Let me!--” Olivia gets out in between laughs, “let me eat, woman!”

“Woman!? Is that all I am to you?!”

Olivia tries to wiggle free, but it’s a lost cause. “Yes! Ugh!” she huffs as Cassandra inches them both away from the stovetop, “A heartless, tormenting, merciless woman!” She finally pivots around to face her, arms bracing against her shoulders. Cassandra is smiling so big and bright...just like the way she did in the picture. Her arms stretch up straight until they wrap around her neck loosely, and Cassandra only glows more. Their laughs simmer down into tired, but wonderful giggling, and Olivia feels nothing but the urge to keep her this way.

“But...you’re my woman.”

“Yeah?” Cassandra mutters back as their faces draw nearer, her hands travel low down Olivia’s back.

Olivia makes a ‘tsk’ sound with her tongue. “Yeah, but...only part time.”

Gullible if only for a moment, she catches on. “...Ugh. Ok, I deserve that.” They move together as she pushes Olivia back against the edge of the counter.

Olivia gasps and giggles more. “Is this the way you’re gonna try to dance with me tomorrow night? All nice and close, then bumper cars?” Olivia teases, tongue sticking out for added effect.

“Tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, tomorrow night. The party..?”

Cassandra pauses and grins, but loses exuberance. She rubs Olivia’s arm lovingly before breaking from her. Her side-step brings her to the stove, where she picks back up the bowl Olivia dropped, and the spoon she surrendered; the pot needs stirring, apparently.

“Cass?” Olivia asks, feeling a bit left to hang, her hands going behind her and resting on the counter.

“Hm?”

“Is...everything alright?”

Cassandra nods, eyes still on her very important stirring. “I’m just hungry. Running you down must have reinspired my appetite.”

Olivia lowers a brow. “Uh-huh.” Her skepticism is either undetected or ignored, though, as Cassandra spoons the first generous spoonful into the bowl and hands it to her. Once it’s taken off her hands she goes to the second, and is equally as unceremonious with her own serving. Olivia stares down at the amazing looking meal in her hands but can’t seem to just enjoy it. Is she trying to ditch out? Is this a ditch-out attitude? Ugh, she does hate it. She’s just going for--

Cassandra hands her a fork. “I was thinking we could all ride together. I know how to drive Cullen’s car, anyways.”

“I mean, sure, but that means you’d have to…” it’s a wonder it takes her so long to figure it out, but when she does, the sentence doesn’t need finishing.

“Yeah, but that’s fine. I wasn’t planning on it, anyway,” Cassandra seems to read her thoughts anyways, and begins twirling the first bite of noodles around her fork.

“Okay. I just...I dunno, I thought you might want to since you did at Rylen’s…”

Cassandra shrugs, and leans her hip against the stove. Her forkful suspended in the air. “Yeah, but, that’s Rylen’s.”

Olivia scoffs, and begins forking around for a meatball to take a bit out of. “That place isn’t exactly child safety approved. What’s the difference?”

Cassandra swallows and tucks an ankle behind the other. “The difference is I don’t want to be drinking when I meet all your friends at once.”

“Oh, come on, it won’t be that bad. I mean, I went whiskey-hunting up in the cupboards the first...time…” crap, this isn’t a shining example. “You know, nevermind.” She shoves her first bite into her mouth to help ignore the sound of Cassandra’s smug chuckling. At first, she’s pressed, but then she looks down again in amazement.

“What the fuck? Cassandra, this is so good,” she mumbles with a full mouth, preparing another forkful, “oh my God.”

“Have you never had spaghetti before?”

“Ugh! Yes, I have! That’s not…” she forks it into her mouth some more, reckless abandon and starvation taking over. “Holy shit.”

Cassandra smiles and keeps modestly twisting and preparing her mature, normal person serving. “Here I was worrying I wouldn’t compare to your standards.”

“What, am I Rachael Ray all of a sudden?”

“By the way Ellinor looks at you in reverent fear while you explain how you get your onions diced so fine, I’d say it’s a strong possibility.”

“It’s just the way you hold the kn--you know what, I’m gonna just…” Olivia shakes her head, wiping her dirty mouth on her wrist. “Did you just know how to do this?”

“No way, I learned a long time ago. It’s one of the few things I can cook off memory.”

Olivia eyes her as she takes another bite. She wants to ask where, or who, did. Someone, at some point, had to have taught her -- and maybe there’s a story. A funny story, or a cheesy one. It doesn’t matter what kind, as long as it is one that could help her discover more about what makes her tick. Olivia’s never wanted to know every crumb of a person like this before like she does now, for her.

“Hm. Good to know, but I think I wanna know if you got the better bowl.”

Cassandra peers up, nonplussed. “What? But, it’s the same dish…”

Olivia draws herself in, step by devious step. “You sure? ‘Cause I think I gotta do a quality check.”

“Really.”

“Yeah. This is a democracy, right?”

Cassandra snorts, twisting another forkful just as Olivia is about to collide with her. She holds it out carefully, bowl underneath for insurance. “You are ridiculous.”

“Mhm,” Olivia repeats, before she takes the bite with glee.

“And this is a democratic-republic, woman.”

“...Woman?” she asks, but with her mouth full, it sounds more like ‘wuhmin.’

They link eyes, and Cassandra shakes her head slow. “You heard me.”

Olivia swallows, wiping the corners of her mouth and proper, before she sets down her bowl off to the side. She does the same with Cassandra’s, so that it can rest beside hers.

“Say that to my face,” she dares, pitting her torso against hers.

In return, Cassandra tilts her head, hand wrapping around her. “I just did. That was kind of the point.”

“You really don’t know how to play along with things without critique, do you?”

“I just don’t like double-standards.”

Their mouths veer in close as Olivia’s hands slide up her Cassandra’s arms. “You don’t like a lot of things.”

“No, but I like you.”

Olivia’s eyes widen. “Oh? Prove it.”

That’s the kind of thing you say right before you get kissed so well the world could end around your feet and you wouldn’t care: which is exactly why she said it. And the competitive look in Cassandra’s eye doesn’t disprove it. But just as she’s about to make her move, a ruckus erupts on the door. Out of nowhere Cassandra’s hold turns from casual to protective, and she whirls around to face the corner where the door is shaking from what sounds like hooves rather than fists. It isn’t long until the perpetrators are identified.

“Cass! I really gotta pee, help a guy out!”

“Yeah, Cass!! wake up, grandma!”

“Answer the group chat!!”

Three voices, all somewhat slurred, and definitely gregarious. Cassandra’s shoulders release and she moans in disgust, letting go of Olivia and marching towards the door to save it before the hinges break. She opens the door wide and fast, and two of the three stumble in while she stands by.

The boys make various ‘woah’ sounds as they collect themselves. Olivia recognizes one of them, the guy who opened the door at Rylen’s party. Which means he must be Rylen, of course. The other has a fresh undercut and is wearing a white v-neck and jeans, too well-dressed for a jock she’d think. The cloud of Axe-smelling odor overtakes the room and makes Olivia’s nose itch.

“What have I told you all about coming over on the weekends?” Cassandra asks, indignant.

They all straighten up. The third of them, a woman with brown hair tied back and wearing jean shorts and a sports bra underneath a flannel, walks in with keys in-hand. “You said...uh...call?”

“Yes. That is exactly what I said.”

“We’re just stopping by! We cut through campus on the way home. A break was in order.” She glides on through between the two others, immediately spotting Olivia standing with a thoughtless bitch face on. Or, she must be, because she stops dead in her tracks, and even backs up.

“Woah, dude, I’m sorry,” she puts his hands up, “I didn’t know--”

“Hey! You’re Ellinor’s friend!” Rylen manages to collect himself. He shoots a look at Cassandra and smiles big, “wait...what are you two doing wi--”

“You said you had to use the bathroom,” Cass is quick to usurp, still glaring.

Rylen’s happy-go-lucky act subsides, and he keeps his head down as he walks off out towards the hall. He gives a “Yes, Ma’am,” before disappearing completely.

“Sorry, Cass,” the one in jeans says as he pulls out a chair and sits sideways. “We haven’t been...uh...well, we’ve had a few.” He whisper yells it like he’s trying to tell a secret across a room. Oh boy.

“I couldn’t tell,” she replied, shutting the door and going to the cabinet. “You need water?”

“Nah!”

“Uh huh, okay,” she takes a couple plastic cups out and goes to the sink.

While she is busy filling them with tap water, Olivia is still there like a Greek statue, unsure of what to do. Jocks in close proximity like this feels...odd. Like they’re just as apt to sniff her hair as shake her hand; or maybe that’s just her snobbery. She takes hold of her elbow and slides herself up on top the counter to the right of the stove, reminiscent of her climbing escapade at Rylen’s house, only now she’s just trying to keep out of the way rather than day drink.

The seated guy’s gaze flickers over to her, as if he just now realizes she’s there, watching. “Hey, I’m Krem. I don’t think we’ve ever met,” he waves.

She nods once, and manages a grin. “Hello.”

“So your name is Hello? Is it a f-family name?” he gurgles out the last half, unable to keep himself from chuckling while the other stands wide and joins in. Oh great, they’re both laughing at her, and she’s only said one word. Can she phone a friend? Surely Ellinor knows what to do.

“Krem, cut it out,” Cassandra hands them both their cups. “This is Olivia. Olivia, these are some of my teammates, Krem and Lysette. You already know the brute using too much of our soap in the bathroom.” She returns to Olivia’s side and places her hand on the stove handle where a clean towel hangs.

Olivia side-eyes her, before the staring from both of them provokes a response. “Nice to meet you all.”

“Cass, is this the girl you--”

“Not a word, Lys.”

“...Right,” Lysette answers, rolling her lips shut and looking off to the side. “Well, good to meet you finally. We see you on the field with Ellinor all the time!”

“Yeah, we...we do that,” Olivia shrugs, but it comes off a little mechanical in her attempt to be approachable.

Krem finishes a gulp of water. “I think we had a class together. Was it anthropology…?”

“Oh, hah, no it couldn’t have, I haven’t taken any anthro classes here.”

“...Oh! Gotcha. Hm. I wonder who that blonde was then…”

“There are quite a few of us around. We have a local chapter established. We call ourselves “The Bleach Bunnies.””

They both laugh, a bit uncoordinated, but they laugh. Cass shoots her a grin, but in her Captain persona, she can’t shake her vigilance for her inebriated peers. A door opens from out in the hall, and heavy feet track on the carpet towards where they are all congregated.

“So, Liv,” Rylen dusts his hopefully freshly washed hands off, “you have eyes for our Master and Commander, here?”

Cassandra growls. “Rylen.”

“No, no, Cass! This is tradition--”

“Since when is it ‘tradition’?”

“Since uh, 2003! Approxim-manly!” He waves a hand dismissively, and Cassandra rolls her eyes and snorts with frustration. “Now, look. You’ve let Cullen get all the action from us even though you’ve been having a little escapowerade all on your own.”

“Esca...power..?” Olivia tilts her head and looks to Cass for answers, but she’s above trying to figure out the linguistics of the situations. The scene from Finding Nemo where Marlin yells ‘it’s like he’s trying to speak to me, I know it!’ comes to mind.

“You know, a randall-view--”

“Okay, okay,” Krem saves his friend from further butchering the English and now French language, “I think she gets it, dude.”

“Alright, fine! But she has to do the thing!”

“What thing?” Lysette asks, folding her arms against her leather bomber jacket.

“She has to do a shot!”

Do jocks just test each other for every little rite of passage with shots? Is that all there is to their courage? Jesus Christ. Olivia waits for him to say something, anything, to clue in that he’s joking. Or that he’s wrong. But he just stands there, t-shirt, khakis, crocs and all, hands sliding into his pockets and chest puffed out like he’s the big ol’ man of the house.

“Rylen, I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Olivia says calmly.

“Oh? You think yourself above the rules?”

“No, I think myself already indebted to you in the amount of half a bottle of whiskey, the one I nabbed out your cupboard about…two? Three? Weekends ago. I prepaid my hazing process.”

They all go quiet, eyes and mouths agape at varying degrees. Even Cassandra has teeny bit of a wince on her lips.

Rylen, now rebuffed, blinks like that white guy gif. “Uh...oh. Indeb-ted.”

“Yeah.”

“Uh...that would...yeah that would do it. Wait, but, I thought Elli--”

“She had the rest of it, but she shared that with Cullen. I alone took down the first half.”

“But...but you’re tiny.”

Cassandra scowls while the others try not to giggle. Olivia only shrugs a second time, and picks up her bowl of spaghetti and brings it to her lap.

“What can I say: the shorter the woman, the closer to hell, Rylen.” A bit more comfortable, she lifts the fork of noodles to her lips. For some reason the other two start to making low noises of ‘oohs!’ and ‘uhh!” which seems to mean they approve? Or are at least entertained. It occurs to her that this must mean she bested him.

“Good one, Olive,” Krem remarks, so cheerful that she doesn’t have the heart to correct him on her name.

“I think that is answer enough,” Cassandra agrees, shifting her weight onto her feet. “I think you all should get going, it looks like the night’s just begun for you.”

“Ah, yeah, shit,” Rylen shakes his shoulders and saunters with that wide machismo walk, sizing Olivia up some more in his inebriated state, before he ushers them all with him. It all happens as quickly and rumbly as it began, and they stampede back from whence they came with much less fuss. A symphony of “Later, Cass!” and “Sorry, Cass!” with one “See ya, Olive!” as the cherry on top of a socially-awkward sundae. At last the door shuts, swiftly locks, and the quiet is welcomed back into the room. The nice, sober quiet.

Cassandra comes back, palms pressed to her thighs before she uses them to rub her face with a little exasperation. “Ugh. That won’t be the end of it.”

“Do they come around often?”

“More during the season, but...now it’s playoffs, so I don’t know. Rylen’s place tends to be headquarters, but sometimes...they just...ugh.” She elects to stand in the middle of the tile floor and fold her arms. She still looks a bit anxious, trying to decompress from the rush of events. Olivia can’t help but fixate on it while slicing a meatball that’s too big for one bite. Did that actually scare her?

“Hey,” she holds up the forked half and offers it, and takes on her best ‘Rylen’ voice, “I think you need more meat, bro.”

Cassandra rolls her eyes and grins with dread. “Don’t even start.”

“Bro, come on, get that protein. How else are you supposed to get--”

“No one ever says ‘get that protein,’” she chuckles and walks to her, and Olivia spreads her knees to invite her in; something she happily plays along with. All trapped in her hold, Olivia feeds her the sacred bite, and tries not to burst into giggles again.

“Do you still need your proof of my affection for you?” Cassandra inquires, wiping the corner of her mouth and then resting her hands on Olivia’s thighs.

There’s the penchant to continue the jest and say no: put up a fight and see where it gets her. Olivia is always ready for more playful fighting. But what can you say to a woman who was ready to deploy herself as a human shield against the unknown forces on the other side of a burgeoning door?

“I think I’m good.” She sets down her meal in favor of the rim of Cass’s hood and brings her in even closer.

“Are you sure? Because I did have a plan of action.”

“A plan?” she says hushed, “and what is this plan, exactly?”

“Uh...debating over whether to watch Titanic or Love, Actually. Then debating over the acting abilities of either cast. Then...more debate about the historical accuracies and politics that you will inevitably bring up when a male character is awful or another character is racist--”

“Or classist. You forgot classist. I hate that shit.”

“Yes. Classist.”

“Yeah.” Her smile widens, and she knocks noses with her playfully. “I suppose that all could be evidence to further support your claim. I can oblige. We should get started though, it’s already kinda late and I might have forgotten my ID to get into my dorm after 10...again...because I’m a dumbass.”

“Or you could just not go home.”

Olivia’s stomach erupts into butterflies drenched in pasta sauce and garlic seasoning, so much so her back arches like she’s being secretly zapped up with electricity. “I...could also do that.”

“What, you don’t want to?”

“No, I do, I guess I’m just...nevermind. I’m down!”

She smiles again. “Okay, good.”

“On one condition.”

Cassandra blinks and stops just as they are about to kiss. “Hm?”

“Only...if we do the thing I wanted to do the first night I stayed over.”

“You...you still want to make a pillow fort?”

Her shoulders bunch up in pre-eminent glee. “Yeeaaah.”

Cassandra sighs, but it doesn’t sound completely out of patience. “Alright, fine, you drive a hard bargain.”

More butterflies. More spaghetti butterflies. I can’t wait to brag about this to Ellinor, she’s gonna be so jealous. Yeah Cullen can eat two burgers in five minutes flat but can he say that he made a pillow fort?! Can anyone? This is some next-level shit. They kiss to seal the deal, and to her delight, she tastes like marinara.

#college au update #adventures of ellinor and olivia #day & age #friendship fic!#modern thedas au #WOOOOOO I LOVE ME SOME FUNNY FLUFF

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stopandimagineloveforever · 6 years ago

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The reason I’m petrified for both C & D.

RM/EP/BS/MM - that crowd is bad news. Toxic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following was written by @rougedraconteur (was on a post I’m unable to reblog)

I know I am poison to you folks now, because I refuse to swallow the blue pill that is being sold to us, and just shut up, but this is something I have been following for years, and partly why I hate and will always fight RM. yes, I have an agenda, but it is not against D or C or their relationship, whatever it might be either now, in the past, or in the future, or their careers and how and with whom they “choose” to work, or for what reasons, although I am allowed to be disappointed, at what seems to have transpired, and express that. What mature and knowlegeable adults do in pursuit of their careers is their business, IF they do that of their own free will, without blackmail or coercion, but children and youth should be protected, even from their own naive ambitions. Others in this fandom that have been dumped on lately, unfairly IMO, saw this quite early on, as well, and were very troubled by the association, especially for C, who had seemed to make an effort to break free from the worst effects of this group, having seen and suffered enough. Co/ry, who had suffered a troubled childhood, and was still struggling with the same demons and being victimized because of it by RM, seemed to support C in this, being present behind the scenes when C was “outed.” But something, or someone, pulled C back in, perhaps and most likely unwittingly, perhaps thinking they could control the situation they had both been thrown into. Bless his heart, love is hard sometimes, people are sorry they cause suffering to those they love through the mistakes they make. The heart wants what it wants.

I first noticed C’s melancholy when he was Esquire’s Man of the Year for his birth year, for their huge Anniversary Issue, and he expressed some very dark musings that seemed to reflect something going very wrong. After that, I soon saw C, with W, at a fund-raiser for Pus/sy Ri/ot, hosted by both Emmer/rich and Sin/ger. the rumors were already out about the two and their underage parties, and it troubled me to have C there, openly, with W, smiling and mentioned in their article about the event, with photographs. This was a children’s book author, with suspected child molesters, willingly being photographed, and C’s team would NEVER let that happen. So, why did it? Because C ALLOWED it, for some reason.

D’s latest movie director Em/merich is a close friend of Sin/ger, also, as is RM. They host and frequent the same “parties” for up and coming young “actors,” often arranged by MM, with the help of all those he hustles. I think this is the way the “gay mafia” does business, after watching this “pattern” for so long. CH pretty much confirmed it, when he came out, and others in the industry have said it made life even harder for all these closeted actors in “Camp Podwall” or in connection with these power players, instead of better, after that all came out. CH would not shut up, he thought things would change, if people would listen and respond in strong measures. But it didn’t work out that way. The whole operation clamped down even tighter on their people, and ramped up their abuse, as punishment for anyone daring to step out of line so openly. D and CH had a confrontational conversation during that time that CH was so troubled, or so it appeared in one series of photos they shared at a fashion shoot.

The rule of thumb seems to be you pay if you want to play, the older folks in power call all the shots, they shape your career, who you connect with, how and why, what parties you attend, and with whom, what roles you take, and when, or they blackball you out and shut you down. If you play the game, stay in line, you are “allowed” to progress in the industry, move up the ladder, gain power and control over your own life and protect your loved ones life, but it’s a rough ride. It’s a control game, all the way, vicious and dangerous. The folks at the top (Gef/fen, Dil/ler, their close associates, with RM moving up with his latest deal) are just too rich and powerful to be brought down, it seems, although Sin/ger, MM, and some other more well-established actors seem to be in danger of exposure and ruin, one with a new movie coming out this holiday season. Thes higher ups will protect them until they can’t, then cut them off rather than go down with them. An expose story with a major magazine seems to be in the works, again, but it appears to have been slowed, if not shut down completely. This could topple some big names, and could have forced some gay bigwigs into “playing nice” with some of their people to keep things quiet. But fandom and social media, with their spending habits supporting their shows, concerts, movies, artists, was always an unpredictable and uncontrollable curbing agent and pushback against these folks, and somehow, through paid social media bots, they have been able to mostly shut us down, too. Like the free press, we have been severely compromised, using various tactics, much as they do their actors, in order to control us.

There have been lots of blinds lately, you can believe them or not, but they explain a lot of questionable things I have seen since 2012 with MM, his parties, and his small group gatherings, well-documented with photos, of Glee actors, including Co/ry and Ma/rk, Har/ry and Ch/ord, as well as D, during Glee, around Hollywood and NYC, at London locations, foreign tropical locales, and showing up in Washington, D.C., with his “parties” during the Washington Correspondent’s Dinner. He and EP are very close. There are other Camp Pod/wall regulars, such as J.C. Cha/sez, and my warning sirens go off around them, too. Recent rumors connected D romantically with JC, in his early years in Hollywood, and C with RM. those were not removed, as any good PR team would do, such as C’s. I know C has admitted more than once that 2012 was a very difficult time for him. His second book was written that year, and reflects that mood.

Whenever I see MM, or EP, around either of the two, or RM or Goopchuk, with them, it creeps me out. The worst was one photo, maybe during Hed/wig? MM has D in a tight hug, and he is grinning, although I would call it leering, and directly addressing C, using his name in the text, as in, look what I have here. While lots of folks in the fandom saw it as a confirm, and cute, and those in the other fandom saw it as a rebuke, here’s the real star, D, you are not so great, C, I saw it as a threat to C. Don’t make trouble, don’t make waves, do as you are told, or someone gets hurt. So, yeah, if you take the red pill, these are all crazy talk, and ridiculous, when we just want to be happy and like things and be fans. Most folks do not want to go that deep, and it is easier and a lot less scary to just call people like me crazy. But we once had a part to play that posed a threat to those powers. Those people have mostly left the fandom, shut their eyes and swallowed the cough syrup, or yes, became fierce C stans, because he seems to be a fighter like us. I love D, he is amazing and talented beyond belief, but I would walk through fire for C.

I think you might be right that they are using these two and KM, allowing two “out” actors to use their social media narrative to push back against the “forced closeting” rumors, and using them to “clean up” their image, and protect the predators. But perhaps a mutually beneficial deal HAS been negotiated, by D and C, and KM as well, who knows all the Gl/ee secrets, as all parties know too much, and have some leverage there. But these are very bad people, criminals, surrounding them, forcing their hand, using them in many cases and involving them in suspect activities, and while I will continue to support these two every way I possibly can, I cannot and will not add to the cheerleading, praise, financial support, and widespread whitewashing of these awful people and their projects with D, and C if it comes to that, thus allowing them to continue unabated and unrepentant. People brutally burned Ma/rk for his dark side, but these guys, because they are powerful and influential, are okay and get not just a pass, but a love fest, from the fans? Hell to the no.

#Daisy please #I wish C and D would stay the fuck away from these people #none of this is good #That Esquire article is coming out #many people will go down

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bugsybeans · 6 years ago

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Haters Just Need a Hug

Summary: Phil’s soulmate tattoo ends up being a homophobic slur. Can he convince his supposed “other half” to love him back, regardless of his gender?

Genre: Angst/fluff

Warnings: Homophobic slurs, swearing.

A.N: Hey there. This is NOT finished yet, but I do want to post what I have so far because I feel bad how much I have been procrastinating. So, here it is! Also, there are some pretty intense slurs and stereotypes that I have will be using in this fic so if that is triggering, please be warned. I do not condone to any form homophobia, nor do I believe all religious people share those beliefs. But I do know that there are hateful people out there and I feel like the only way to stop them is through kindness and compassion. Oh yeah, and I don’t know if I’m following all the Soulmate!Au rules, but the whole tattoo thing was more of a metaphor than an actual alternate universe theme. Anyway, I will shut up now. Enjoy!

Phil

Ever since his first day of secondary school, Phil’s mother knew he was gay. On his first day of Year 8, he came home with a crimson blush adorning his cheeks and a smile up to his ears.

“How was the first day?” She asked tentatively. “Pretty good.”

“That’s good... Did you make any friends?”

“Umm..Yeah actually. His name is Anthony. He’s nice I guess.” Phil had that look he sported every time he was hiding something. Lying was not one of his strong points.

“You’re looking quite smitten, dear. You sure you only want to be friends?”

“MOM! Gosh, you’re so embarrassing.” He stomped all the way up to his room, which is where he spent the majority of his teenage years.

She had her answer. Anyway, she had absolutely nothing wrong with having a gay son. She would love him no matter what. What did worry her though was not everyone would share that same mindset. Even though society firmly believes in being romantically involved with your soulmate, for some reason, if that soulmate happens to be of the same gender, you have to live your entire life without them. Your other half. The one and only person who is perfectly right for you. She finds the logic absurd.

The older her son gets, the more pressure there is to conform. She can’t wrap him up in bubblewrap forever, one day he would have to face the hate and anger he is destined to deal with his whole life. But what truly shocked her was that his first time experiencing it first hand was when he got his soulmate tattoo.

It was a regular Saturday evening like any other, Martin sprawled on the couch, likely talking on the phone with Cornelia, Mrs. Lester cooking dinner in the kitchen and Phil hiding up in his room, doing only God-knows-what. This time, homework was on the agenda but, he was too tired and sweaty to function. The autumn air was cool and brisk, but nevertheless, Phil was down to a t-shirt and boxers facing his fan on the highest setting. He laid on his stomach, face buried in a pillow, trying to make up for lost sleep from the night before. He knew these were some of the most common signs of the imprinting of his soulmate tattoo, but he really didn’t feel like being let down again. Far too many times he has gotten his hopes up only to discover that he just had a common cold. Because at the age of fourteen, Phillip Micheal Lester will be the last kid in his class, or school maybe, to get their tattoo. It was humiliating. Also, the suspense was killing him. “What will be the first words said to me from the love of my life?” He thought. “Or will I even have a soulmate at all? Even if I do, will he ever find me?”

But, as if his prayers had finally been answered, Phil started to feel an unfamiliar itch on his right arm. He scratched. The patch of skin turned a fiery red, the sensation burning just as much. He could see the shape of letters start to rise to the surface.

“Mom!” He cried. “I think I’m getting it!”

He sprinted down stairs at lightning speed. By the time he reached the kitchen, the words were printed bold and clear, the black ink permanently etched into his pale skin. As he read the words, he choked out a sob. What was imprinted in the bold font read;

Fags like you deserve to burn in hell.

——————————————————————————————————————

Five years had passed since that fateful night. Phil had come to terms with the fact that whoever was meant for him is a homophobic asshole. That still didn’t help the pain subside, though. While everyone else was waiting for a sweet greeting or compliment, he was waiting for a cruel insult. He searched everywhere for hatred; riots, unaccepting churches, once he even walked up to a group of religious protesters and said, “Hi! My name is Phil. I’m gay.”

He sure did get a few variations of the slur on his arm, but none that were exact. Besides, everyone there looked too old to be in love with him. But the thing about a soulmate is, you really don’t know for sure.

Anyhow, he had too much on his mind being a University student, to think about finding his soulmate. Tonight, him and his roommate are going to pride. Phil deems himself lucky to have the person he shares a bathroom with so much like himself. They share a lot of common interests, including their gender preferences. Hell, if he didn’t have that goddamn tattoo he would think they are soulmates. But there is someone else out there for him, that man just happens to be a hateful bastard.

“Charlie! You ready?” He called from outside the bathroom door. “Almost! Just two more minutes.” Charlie puts a lot of effort into his attire. Phil finds it unnecessary, but he knows it makes him really happy when someone compliments his outfit.

“Fine. But when those two minutes are up I’m leaving without you.” Just as the words left his mouth, Charlie stepped out in a pastel blue top with the words “fairies do it better” written in bright pink across the front, light green cargo shorts and of course, a rainbow cape that went down to his knees. “Well, what do you think?”

Phil just gaped at him for a few seconds. “You look… well, flaming. But incredible.” He shot Charlie one of his famous grins. The kind that make his eyes crinkle, and the Charlie’s heart soar. “R-really?” He blushed bashfully. For someone who wore bright and provocative colours, Charlie sure was shy.

“Yeah Char. You look awesome. Now let’s go!”

——————————————————————————————————————

As soon as they got off the bus, they were practically trampled by the massive crowd of people all heading in the direction of the parade. Charlie’s outfit actually looked pretty tame compared to some of the other attendees. They were swimming in a sea of rainbows and sparkles. You could feel the excitement in the air, the excitement of those who are normally forced to hide, or conform, to what society deems “normal.” And here in the midst of it all, you could love who you want and be who you are, without fear of judgement. It gave Phil a little spark of hope, that one day, the world will change. But he knew, it would take an awfully long time to get there.

Out of the corner of his eye, like a dark smudge marking a beautiful piece of art, some extreme religious group was holding up signs and chanting something along the lines of “no more homos!” Phil rolled his eyes. “Not now, of all times.” He thought to himself. But just before he was about to turn in the other direction, the group in front of him stopped walking. And so did the people in front of them. Soon enough, practically the whole parade had stopped to face the crazies trying to spread hate. They say strength is in numbers, and that proved to be true. Except this time, the oppressed outnumbers the oppressors.

Then, the parade started their own chant, “love is love! Love is love! Love is love!” You could no longer hear the hateful messages, but instead, just the sound of people coming together to spread a message of equality. Phil remembered distinctly something his mother told to him as a child when he was afraid of the dark,

“No need to be afraid Philly. Most monsters are just misunderstood. Sometimes, the only thing they need is a hug.”

Charlie looked up at Phil, and intertwined their fingers. “Kiss me, it will piss them off to no end.” He whispered in Phil’s ear. He really likes Charlie, don’t get him wrong, he just never developed any feelings for him. But, in the heat of the moment, kissing his best friend seemed like the only option. So, reluctantly, he leaned in, and their lips met.

If there is a God, he must really have something against poor Phil. The crowd was so loud he barely heard it, the words he had been waiting practically his whole life to hear. But, in a young, timid voice he heard the nine syllables that would change his life forever.

“Fags like you deserve to burn in hell.” Phil disconnected the kiss with a gasp, leaving Charlie hurt and confused. “Phil! Where are you going?”

He didn’t care if people were shouting, or that he had to push his way through the tightly-knit crowd, all he could think about is that his other half was waiting for him, in the group of religious zealots. As soon as he reached the edge, he saw him. The kid was pretty scrawny, and about Phil’s height, with a light brown fringe on the opposite side. He didn’t look a day over 18. But, what really captured the older boy’s heart were those chocolate brown eyes. They looked frightened, like they’ve seen too much. But nevertheless, Phil could see something in them. It looked trapped. Maybe this kid didn’t know, but it existed. A little spark of hope.

Soon enough, Phil was face to face with him. “It’s you.”

The kid gave him a deer-in-the-headlights look. “No! No, this can’t be happening. Dad, D-Dad, this isn’t right.” But before he could finish rambling, Phil engulfed the broken boy in his arms.

#love is love #amazingphil #phan #phanfic #daniel howell #no homo howell #angst #phanfiction

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ladylilithprime · 7 years ago

Note

37 - Sastiel

37. It’s-the-end-of-the-world kiss

IT HAD BEEN a shock to the country when Sam Winchester, a young hotshot lawyer from Kansas who was exceedingly vocal about LGBT+ rights and environmental protections had won the Senate seat in Kansas. Mobilized efforts of young voters and Sam’s husband, Castiel, rousing the students and younger voters had paid off more than anyone had believed possible and won the young lawyer who was openly married to another man a seat in one of the most conservative states in the country. Everyone had expected him to fail.

He didn’t. He stood up, he stood his ground, he was consistent in his votes and persuasive in his arguments to his fellow Senators, talking around many who would have otherwise been on the fence or leaning the other way on many social and economic issues. He had the true interests of the people at heart and he knew the language to use to appeal to the sins of those in office who did not. His biggest detractor, Senator Michael Gratis, had been heard to remark that “Winchester has the silver tongue of the Devil himself”. That the words had been uttered with almost admiration was conveniently left out of the reporting that sought to further the divide between the socially conservative “traditional” Senator Gratis and the “young hooligan pushing the gay agenda” Senator Winchester.

And right now, as the polls slowly closed across the country and the numbers were counted, it was not looking good for the Democratic candidates.

“We’ve got Kansas in the bag,” Dean assured his brother, staring hard at the polling map. “Home turf advantage and your constituents all know how much you’ve done for Kansas as a whole.”

“New England is going to roll our way, too,” Kevin Tran spoke up, not looking up from his tablet where he was watching the poll results filter in. “And after Jones won Alabama, I wouldn’t count out the Southern states just yet. Charlie says you’ve got the minority vote and the LGBT vote and a large portion of the women’s vote.”

“California is secured,” Castiel murmured, one hand rubbing Sam’s shoulders reassuringly. “That Stanford alumniship was bound to be good for something besides your fancy law degree.”

Sam smiled half-heartedly, but said nothing. The deciding factor would be Texas, a state that had never swung Blue since the Party Switch in 1964, and Illinois. Michigan was being counted out since that was Gratis’s home turf and he already had a solid lead there.

“….We lost Utah,” Benny reported grimly, though without surprise. “Oklahoma’s looking real Red and Louisiana’s still on the fence, but it’s not looking good, brother.”

“Keep that positive attitude, Benny, really,” Dean griped. “Arizona’s close, and Arkansas is looking promising.”

“Illinois is still in the red,” Kevin piped up.

“Hey,” Castiel murmured. Sam turned to look at his husband, and Castiel kissed him. Sam closed his eyes and let himself sink into the feeling of his husband’s lips against his, the warmth and gentleness that always seemed to settle even his most jangled nerves. They parted after a few moments and Sam dropped his head to press against Castiel’s as his husband’s arms went around his waist. “We knew we were gambling high, you running this early. No matter what happens, this election will not be the end of the world.”

“Long as I have you, the world’ll keep on spinning,” Sam promised softly. “I love you, angel.”

“I love you, too, Sam Winchester,” Castiel answered, and Sam could hear the smile in his voice.

“Holy– Oh my god! Sam!” Kevin yelped, drawing their attention. “Texas! Texas flipped!”

“Numbers are swinging our way in Illinois, Montana, South Dakota–” Dean counted off.

“Holy shit…. we got MICHIGAN!” Benny broke in.

“Minnesota just went Blue, too!” Kevin reported.

Sam stopped listening. Poll numbers continued to come in, a sweeping tide of Blue, some by landslides, some just barely edging over. At one point Dean announced that Senator Gratis was calling, but Sam scarcely heard him. He was too busy kissing his husband in relief and joy.

#kiss prompt drabbles #presidential election au #sastiel #election day #wish fulfillment fantasy #anonymous

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restingbritishface · 7 years ago

Note

whoops all of them

1: My name?

Adam Gabriel :) I’m not a fan of my last name though... can I have yours?

2: Do I have any nicknames? Not derivatives of my name, but you call me a lot of cute ones

3: Zodiac sign? Aries/Taurus

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win?Skyrim lol5: Book/series I reread? Rangers Apprentice or Percy Jackson 6: Aliens or ghosts? Ghosts7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? You 8: Favourite radio station? Whatever actually plays a good song?9: Favourite flavour of anything? Chocolate? Or salty10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Awesome or great lol11: Favourite song? Currently I kissed a boy by Jupither12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? I just sort of ask random questions until we have something in common lol13: Favourite word? FUCK14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? Forgiving them isn’t beneficial for me and they don’t think they need it, so no.15: Last song I listened to? I kissed a boy - jupither16: TV show I always recommend? Probably Brooklyn 99 lol I haven’t seen it but I’m behind it 100%17: Pirates or ninjas? Ninja pirates!18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? Wonder Woman or Moana19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? My alarm always plays either i kissed a boy or from the dining table 20: Favourite video games? Probably skyrim, I don’t play too many video games21: What am I most afraid of? Losing people I love22: A good quality of mine? I’m good at giving advice23: A bad quality of mine? Probably my pickiness with food lol. That, or the fact that I always feel like I have to earn good things before I can have them24: Cats or dogs? Kitties!25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in? Mmmm I don’t really have one26: Favourite season? Autumn!27: Am I in a relationship? Hell yeah!28: Something I miss? Serotonin... best thing from my childhood rip29: My best friend? You!30: Eye colour? Blue?31: Hair colour? currently blondish red32: Someone I love? You!33: Someone I trust? You!34: Someone I always think about? You!35: Am I excited about anything? You!36: My current obsession? Gay shit37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Oooh hmm I liked a lot of Disney Channel shows

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? I don’t care enough about people’s genitals to know who the ~opposite sex~ is, plus intersex people exist so39: Am I superstitious? A little? Not really40: What do I think about most? Youuuuu41: Do I have any strange phobias? I have fear foods, does that count42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I live for the spotlight43: Favourite hobbies? Dancing! Singing! Getting overwhelmed with crippling depression!44: Last book I read? Simon and the Homo Sapiens Agenda45: Last film I watched? The Greatest Showman46: Do I play any instruments? Piano and guitar47: Favourite animal? Kitties or penguins!48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? In no particular order: @misstheroses @charmingimmortality @beaniebaneenie @hclliish @slenderlof

49: Superpower I wish I could have? Flying would be fucking great50: How do I destress? I love to take long baths or talk to you51: Do I like confrontation? No, but I do like to communicate, so I guess that could be seen as confrontation52: When do I feel most at peace? When I feel like I pass and I’m around people who accept me53: What makes me smile? You, kitties, babies, genuine compliments54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Off ofc what am I a heathen?55: Play any sports? Dance is a sport so yes

56: What is my song of the week? oooh I like so many...57: Favourite drink? Fresh orange juice probably58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? Earlier this month to youuuu59: Afraid of heights? Nope60: Pet peeve? When people order a drink and don’t tell me the fuckin size like thanks for ordering a three shot 8 pump nonfat vanilla latte with no whip, carol, now tell me what size you want before i charge you for the large

61: What was the last concert I went to see? Oh god it was so long ago i don’t even remember62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? I’m mostly vegetarian except when my family makes me eat meat63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? I wanted to be a movie star lol64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? Yeah haha65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Oooh idk maybe middle earth?

66: Something I worry about? Accidentally pushing people away

67: Scared of the dark? nope

68: Who are my best friends? I consider @misstheroses @charmingimmortality @slenderlof and @beaniebaneenie to be some of my best friends

69: What do I admire most about others? Their capacity for kindness even in a world that destroys it70: Can I sing? Well enough?71: Something I wish I could do? Move to london right now72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? a shit load of random acts of kindness, pay off my student loans, move to london and buy a flat, then open a queer cafe 73: Have I ever skipped school? I’ve skipped classes, but never an entire school day74: Favourite place on the planet? Wherever you are75: Where do I want to live? London76: Do I have any pets? Three cats and a doggo77: What is my current desktop picture? Wonder woman78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl for sure79: Sunsets or sunrise? Sunsets80: Can I drive? Yep81: Story behind my last kiss? Never been kissed lol82: Earphones or headphones? Earphones83: Have I ever had braces? Yep84: Story behind one of my scars? I scar super easily lol so i have a lot but when I was ~1 or so I got a cyst by my eye removed85: Favourite genre of music? Gay music86: Who is my hero? my boyfriend (it you)87: Favourite comic book character? Oooh Wonder Woman88: What makes me really angry? Assholes who purposefully fuck shit up89: Kindle or real book? I love real books90: Favourite sporty activity? Dancing91: What is one thing that isn’t taught in schools that should be? Non eurocentric history and queer inclusive sex ed92: What was my favourite subject at school? Probably English93: Siblings? I’ve got five94: What was the last thing I bought? Makeup95: How tall am I? 5′796: Can I cook? Yep it’s a lot of fun97: Can I bake? Yes yes yes98: 3 things I love? Babies, binders, and boys99: 3 things I hate? Cisheteronormativity, capitalism, and cunts100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? I have friend friends101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Most of my friends don’t identify as only male or female so let’s just say cis boys are hard af to get on with102: Where was I born? In a hospital...?103: Sexual orientation? Gay af 104: Where do I currently live? Too fucking far away from you105: Last person I texted? You 106: Last time I cried? A little while ago? 107: Guilty pleasure? No such thing as guilty pleasures, you shouldn’t feel guilty about self-love108: Favourite Youtuber? I don’t really have one109: A photo of myself. Lmao nah110: Do I like selfies? I guess?111: Favourite game app? I don’t really have one?112: My relationship with my parents? As fucked up as capitalism haha113: Favourite accents? Oh my god I just love british accents they all sound like Tom Hiddleston oh my god so sexy114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? London115: Favourite number? 420 lmao116: Can I juggle? No haha117: Am I religious? nope118: Do I like space? yeah119: Do I like the deep ocean? scary cool120: Am I much of a daredevil? yeah tbh i can be121: Am I allergic to anything? penicillin lol and some other meds122: Can I curl my tongue? yep123: Can I wiggle my ears? no124: Do I like clowns? oh hell no125: The Beatles or Elvis? no thanks126: My current project? i’m working on nothing really currently lol127: Am I a bad loser? I can be tbh128: Do I admit when I wrong? i hate doing it but yeah129: Forest or beach? foresttttttt130: Favourite piece of advice? communicate!131: Am I a good liar? i can be if i have to but i’m terrible at lying to friends132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? Fairly hufflepuff, dauntless, and idk lol133: Do I talk to myself? not too much?134: Am I very social? if i know everyone i’d be hanging out with, then yes135: Do I like gossip? not really136: Do I keep a journal/diary? nope137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? i’ve had breakdowns for getting a b on a test so thank fuck no138: Do I believe in second chances? in certain circumstances139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? probably see if there’s any sort of id in there, but then hang around for a while to see if anyone comes looking for it. if they don’t, then i’d keep it140: Do I believe people are capable of change? to a certain extent141: Have I ever been underweight? lmao142: Am I ticklish? literally do not tickle me ever i will hurt you143: Have I ever been in a submarine? nope i’d die from claustrophobia144: Have I ever been on a plane? yep145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? oh i have no idea haha146: Have I ever been overweight? lmao147: Do I have any piercings? yeah but they closed up148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? Wonder woman149: Do I have any tattoos? not yet150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? dating you151: Do I believe in Karma? sort of yeah152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? yep!153: What was my first car? the one i have now 154: Do I want children? i’d adopt, yeah155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? idek there’s so many types of intelligence156: My most embarrassing memory? omfg i don’t even know157: What makes me nostalgic? the smell of hairspray158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? yes it was not fun159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? kindness160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? dark colours, esp grey and red161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? i heard a girl singing from inside my sister’s room but no one was in there, so there’s that162: What do I hate most about myself? oh boy where do I start... lol I get really dysphoric 163: What do I love most about myself? my eyes and my optimism164: Do I like adventure? hell yeah!165: Do I believe in fate? not really166: Favourite animal? kitties or penguins167: Have I ever been on radio? yeah actually i was when I was little168: Have I ever been on TV? not yet!169: How old am I? almost 20170: One of my favourite quotes? “You’re stronger than you believe”171: Do I hold grudges? yeah sometimes172: Do I trust easily? i like to think I dont’, but i trust way too easily haha173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? some of them174: Best gift I’ve ever received? love175: Do I dream? yep176: Have I ever had a night terror? yeahhhh177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? cuddling with my boyfriend in a hotel178: An experience that has made me stronger? i hate to say negative experiences made me stronger tbh i don’t know179: If I were immortal, what would I do? idk haha180: Do I like shopping? yeah but i hate spending money lmao181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? rob a bank so i can help people182: What does “family” mean to me? people who completely love and accept you and support you183: What is my spirit animal? that’s cultural appropriation of native american culture184: How do I want to be remembered? as a kind person185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? dance probably186: What is my greatest failure?187: What is my greatest achievement?188: Love or money? love189: Love or career? love190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? i’d probably go to the past sometime191: What makes me the happiest? being myself192: What is “home” to me? wherever you are193: What motivates me?194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? “go my son, be the biggest slut you can be”195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? maybe if they’re nice196: A movie that scared me as a child? oooh hmm maybe terminator?197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? the gays lol198: Zombies or vampires? neither199: Live in the city or suburbs? city for sure200: Dragons or wizards? dragons201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? someone very close to me dying202: How do I define love? a deep connection to someone and a desire to support them and accept them 203: Do I judge a book by its cover? yeah i do that a lot204: Have I ever had my heart broken? yeah but i got over it real quick205: Do I like my handwriting? sort of206: Sweet or savoury? both207: Worst job I’ve had? customer service during christmas 208: Do I collect anything? memories209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? probably my binder210: What is on my bucket list? travel the world, get married, be gay211: How do I handle anger? i don’t handle it well haha 212: Was I named after anyone? my birth name, yes, my real name, no213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? oh hell no I never do that214: What TV character am I most like? idk someone tell me lol215: What is the weirdest talent I have? i’m not sure?216: Favourite fictional character? Wonder Woman and any queer person in any book ever

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insecure-hbo-recaps · 7 years ago

Text

hella shook

Previously: Issa wanted to get a roster going. Molly for some reason didn't know what it was about Sterling K Brown. Dro's marriage was open. Lawrence was used as a prop for a racist threesome. He lied about it. Issa and Daniel made amends.

Issa's in traffic in her fairly new model car I might add. She is on her phone at every red light and doesn't notice that she's on E. She's wearing a black and white cookie coat, look at this:

Ees! Jesus. She stops at exactly 9:45 cents because she's poor. She finally makes it to her destination, serving up a "special delivery, sir" for Daniel. They awkwardly joke about how silly she's being and he opens the door with a smug smile. They're very attuned and cute and happy and whatnot.

Hey! They got honeycomb towers in LA too, apparently. Unless this is a scene where Molly is skyping with Quintin in Chicago, which the immediate shot of an L lets me know it is. See?

God I fucking love my city. That's the green line by the way. (If you're not familiar with Chicago, this is what I mean by "honeycomb towers":)

They're downtown near State and Kinzie, where I once went out with a professor from Boston who I thought looked like Mark Zuckerberg. (Public House is the bar there.) We watched the world series where the red sox won that year and it had been such a fun date, I was really disappointed when I never heard from him again. Oh well - in hindsight whatever I wore is probably not something I would wear now.

Molly is actually in Chicago this time, and Quintin is helping her keep the associates straight. He's wearing a tan vest and Malcolm X glasses and is it this show or somewhere else where they make jokes about a preacher body? Because good grief if I don't think of an old timey Civil Rights Movement era preacher every time I see him, lol. Molly points out there's a lot of black people at this office, and Quintin says he doesn't understand how she could work in the LA office; it reminds him of why he went to Howard.

Quintin asks whether Molly has said anything about her pay inequality but Molly hasn't. He asks why she isn't considering leaving, because their firm is not the only fish in the sea. Obviously this has never occurred to Molly. It's like she gets blinders on about certain things she thinks are acceptable or that she should want or be doing, and is incapable of considering any options outside of that. Apparently Molly is stuck in a sunken cost fallacy, which means you end up sticking out a situation that has long since expired just because you've already invested so much time into it already. Quintin encouages her to consider her options. Oh, there's the "pastor's body" joke. He really does look like a pastor.

Back in LA, Issa is getting dressed while Daniel is still in bed watching Due North. He asks whether she has plans the next night, but Issa demurs, unsure of his intentions. Daniel's body is insane.

Elsewhere, Lawrence is on a run with his coworkers, the blonde and Arpana. He won't be at work the next day because he has jury duty. Another coworker shows up and we get the exposition that they are training for a marathon. I know people hang out with their coworkers like this but I am antisocial and weird so I never do and never have, which sucks. This is how most people make friends as adults.

Molly is back home now. At her apartment, she and Issa are preparing floral arrangements for Molly's parents' vow renewal. Issa can't make it because she has a "work retreat." Daniel texts, and off the look on Issa's face, Molly inquires about it. Issa tries to play it off, but Molly knows this is not nothing. "Daniel and I have history, but we always bounce back." Molly is skeptical that either of them can do this without catching feelings, but Issa insists none of that is on her agenda right now: she has Daniel, "Neighbor Bae," and a Latino man she is going out with that night.

Meanwhile, at jury duty, Lawrence gets a text from Derek inviting him to his birthday party. Lawrence hesitates, assuming Issa will be there, but agrees to go. Bored, he scrolls through his facebook and happens across a photo from the night of the Kiss and Grind party; apparently Kelli's pic accidentallycaught Issa smiling and chatting with Daniel in the background.

Now that is a stroke of bad luck. Lawrence is so distracted by this news he barely hears them call him for briefing.

Back at the We Got Y'all offices, the supervisor is expositing that they have a director position open. Naturally the overeager white dude thinks this is his time to shine. They are going to be having a retreat Saturday morning and wants everyone to partner up. Issa looks over at Frieda who awkwardly looks away. Issa decides to brush it off, but when she whispers a joke and Frieda continues to look uncomfortable, the smile slides off Issa's face.

She follows Frieda to the breakroom, asking to talk. Frieda tensely explains that she isn't comfortable with what's happening at the school, but Issa still doesn't see a problem. This was around the time I started to think Issa was in the wrong the first time I saw this season... not because Issa is siding with bigotry but because she doesn't know better than to talk frankly about racism with whites in the workplace. That fact that Issa was so clueless as to be straightforward with a Clueless White Person on the thing that they fear most - an issue concerning race where they may be even indirectly accused of being a GASP racist - just sort of underlined for me that she was compounding a wrong instead of fixing it. "It must be nice to have the privilege to choose to be upset over this," Issa says, and the fact that she doesn't back down lets Frieda get the moral high ground.

Inglewood. Molly is at her parents' place unloading flowers for the renewal. Dro is her childhood next door neighbor and he is there to a.) celebrate Molly's parent's marriage and b.) smooth things over about basically asking her to take part in his open marriage. He asks if she never thought of him like that; "I mean yeah maybe for a minute when you had your colored contacts on," Molly says. Light skints aren't still in style anymore are they? Exoticals for men is always kind of a weird area, I think.

Molly says she's thought about it, but the marriage thing "is just not how" she sees her life. Dro is cool with that and they agree to stay friends, ribbing each other like only childhood friends can do.

Jury Duty. There's black woman who answers a question about "bias against police" by standing up to reveal her Black Lives Matter t-shirt that I'm unclear whether or not she meant it or just wanted to get out of jury duty. "Not buying it," the judge says, but the juror is dismissed. Lawrence is scrolling through Daniel's gram while all this happens.

Back at Molly's, her mom is saying something about the dollar store champagne flutes she bought, and what is with moms and dollar stores? My momma loves her some dollar store home goods. They lightly push Molly, as you do your children, about when she's getting married. Mom wants to know what's the hold up but Dad knows Molly isn't going to settle. Apparently Molly has a brother, or two brothers, or a gay brother, I'm unclear. I think one of them is famous for something or other though.

Date night. Issa shows up at a low lit ambient bar looking for Mexican bae. "Come through, Tinder," she says when she spots him. She's wearing a tight blue dress and a TWA. Mexican bae seems like he's in his late 30s. Issa's inner monologue horndogs about horchata. Bruh, rumchata is delicious. I haven't managed to buy it myself yet because that shit costs like 20$ but it tastes just like Christmas. And like, really good bread pudding. I should try to buy it at least for the holidays. Anyway, Issa is fantasizing about boning him right on the bar.

We know he's a good guy because he says isn't a martini guy and they joke about comics. I can't with how comic book lore has taken over American entertainment. I liked the Tobey Maguire Spider Mans but now there's like 18 in-universe comic book shows on TV and like four comic book movies at any given time... I honestly thought the comic book thing would have faded a long time ago by now and we'd be back to some other mythical fan lore like angels and ghosts again. (Zombie lore is still popular, and I think vampire lore is still hanging ten, so we need to go to demons or the undead or something.) They eventually move to another table, signifying that the date has lasted a few hours. The waiter brings by the check and Issa does the fake purse grab. You know, I used to adamantly refuse to do that (and the one time I was *asked* to split was by a nerdy black dude I met in a hipster dive who approached me by asking if I was latina - I must emphasize that I do not look latina whatsoever), like even pretend like I was going to pay. Now, I just offer to split. I usually never have to still, which is good, but also, I'm not poor anymore either so. My thing now is taking care to note that the waitress puts the check on the guy's side instead of in the middle - that's when I know the universe wants me to feel good about myself.

Anyway, they have had a good night and Issa is clearly thinking about asking him back to her place. But, we know he's a Good Guy because he says he can't, "but this is an excuse for us to do this again!"

Saturday morning work retreat. There's a generic snack bar set up. Issa is texting with Daniel, after canceling on him because of her date the previous night. Anyway the work team does a boring team building exercise so that the Clueless White People can make Clueless White People assumptions about the kind of trouble kids might be having at home. Issa and Frieda take a few passive aggressive jabs at each other and when it's time to pair up Frieda quickly finds someone else, leaving Issa stuck with Sujata Day. I don't know if she's supposed to be Indian in this one.

Vow Renewal. Apparently Molly decided to invite Sterling K Brown who is wearing a crazy colorful suit like only a person whose body has been altered to look good in Hollywood could do:

Molly's wig actually does look good, don't mind the screenshot. Dro and his parents show up (his dad is latino, his mom is ambiguous brown). Dro hangs around as his parents walk off and Sterling K Brown possessively wraps an arm around Molly, who introduces them. Just so you know that this is going on:

Do y'all take notice of stuff like this or no? Men, even men who are supposedly friends with each other, I find pull rank like this in front of women all the time. I was seeing a guy and one night we were hanging out with his roommate. They went outside to smoke and I tagged along. My dude and I were sharing his cigarette (I don't smoke but I find this sort of thing cute) and the other guy offered me his. My dude didn't think anything of it, but it's little shit like that that always feels like to me men are playing ego games with each other and/or always prepared to slide in the DMs of someone else's girl. (I also tend to think everyone is hitting on me, so that bias tends to reinterpret things.) But, it's the subtlety. And I think if more people paid attention they'd notice things like this more often. At any rate, Sterling K Brown is clearly glad to be there with Molly and possibly senses that Dro is a threat. They all play polite and it's only mildly awkward.

At a bar across town, Lawrence is having drinks with Derek and grilling him for information about Issa and Daniel. Ha. That's way more straightforward than he usually is when he talks to Chad. Derek says that after Tasha, he and Tiffany had to stop discussing them because they always took sides. Lawrence is preoccupied and insecure about Issa seeing Daniel now... maybe she had been seeing him the entire time? Derek says Issa is too dorky to be sneaky. "That's exactly why you wouldn't expect it," Lawrence says. He clearly is reiminaging their entire relationship and second guessing what he thought it was.

"Honestly... this ain't all on Issa," Derek says. "You spent two years unemployed, not doing shit, letting your woman take care of you. Kinda left the door open." Lawrence does that thing of rotating his jaw and accepts this silently. He tries to say it doesn't justify cheating, but Derek says he understands why she would be attracted to someone who could make things happen.

Vow renewal. Molly's brother or whatever asks "is that you?" and HA! Haven't heard that in ages. "So it's a pity date?" he asks. Molly lists off his positive qualities and how she wants to give it a shot. Her brother says just because she dates a good guy that doesn't translate into a relationship. Her brother (no, her brother's best friend) apparently is married to a stripper that trapped him. He tells Molly if she isn't feeling him she shouldn't date him. And because Molly has no understanding of what she wants out of a relationship or from men generally, this is the point where she no longer understands if she should be on a date with Sterling K Brown. He doesn't deserve this.

Bathroom. Issa calls her brother to check whether or not she might be in the wrong with the situation with Frieda. Check out this gloriously dressed fashion forward ass nigga:

Issa's brother doesn't tell her what she wants to hear so she hangs up in his face. To make herself feel better, she responds to a random sext from Neighbor Bae, sending back a nude before she gets busted by Mrs. Frizzle. Issa, at least go into the stall.

Molly is partially hosting this party, so she goes to greet a couple of great aunts. As nosy older black women, they immediately start inquiring about the delicious slice of man she chose to parade around this family event. Which... if you're not sure if you want to date a guy, don't fucking bring him to a parent-centered family event maybe. The aunts start talking about how amazing it is that Molly's parent's marriage lasted 35 years "after what he put my sister through." This is news to Molly.

Issa is texting at a red light when she misses it turn green. A "Potential Bae" sends her a dick pic and she rear ends the car in front of her. This is where I stopped being on Issa's team. No woman, no self possessed black woman, has any business being so distracted by dick she would open herself up to litigation, the loss of transportation, and unspecified auto repair. Like, I can no longer abide this level of thirst. This was when Issa went too far. Also, I spared you a screenshot of the dick pic.

Back that the renewal, Molly is grilling her brother about the state of her parents' marriage. It turns out that Dad cheated on Mom and "they worked through it." Molly seems almost more offended that her mom put up with it than her dad cheated at all. And this is the part where Yvonne Orji had to do an emotional scene. And it was so bad it threatened to diminish my enjoyment of the rest of the series so what you need to know is: 1. the acting here is really really bad, so bad I don't know how they didn't insist on more takes and/or cut away often enough so that you didn't notice how bad it was and b. Molly can't deal with the reality that there is no such thing as a fairy tale relationship. Not all relationships have cheating but a fuckton of them do, so everyone needs to just chill. Also, remind me at a later date to tell you about how I recently found out a guy I had been seeing was married and his wife had their first kid earlier this year. It was fucking horrid. (This is not an endorsement from the "All Men Cheat" school of logic as I, personally, have never been cheated on in a relationship.)

Sterling K Brown tries to console Molly but she stomps away, leaving Dro to chase after her. Bitch move. Molly's being an asshole all around. Bitch, how are you whining about relationships when you left your fucking date at a party at your parents' house to leave with another dude? Molly is way out of line here, and her behavior deserves no sympathy at all.

Issa calls Daniel to let him know she can't make it tonight because she got into a car accident. He offers to pick her up. She tries to beg off but he insists, and his caring and eagerness to help is good to see. One of the worst things about being an introverted holier than thou asshole is that whenever I need help, it always hits me really hard that I really have no one to call.

Meanwhile, this is Lawrence's Saturday night:

GOD those are the worst, lol. He sits there ruminating for awhile and finally defriends. "I don't wanna see this shit," Lawrence thinks.

Dro is driving Molly home. So... she just gone leave her car (and her date) in the interests of her thirst or what? Because I'm not buying that she's so distraught she just needed to get home despite the common decency of leaving on no notice like that. You wanted to provoke Dro's dick and we all know it. No smoothing over on this ridiculous behavior, Molly. She continues being all "distraught," and while I have to offer points for the damsel and distress routine in principle, I believe in polite society more, so be thirsty on your own time, not when it inconveniences or hurts someone else. Molly laments how she spends all her time trying to find someone like her dad only to find out their marriage is bullshit. I suppose if I had grown up in a married two parent household it would come as news to me, too, that parents can be just as ain't shit as anyone else. Still. I find this childish. Dro lends a sympathetic ear and Molly eats it up.

Daniel shows up to pick up Issa and gives her a hug in reassurance since she's just been in a car accident. Instead of abiding this silently where even if she doesn't want it she can use it to her advantage at a later date, Issa decides to be clear that Daniel knows they are not dating only each other and are both seeing other people. Issa isn't sure if she was as up front about that as she should have been the last time they slept together. Daniel reacts disappointedly in a way that telegraphs he did not know that was what they were doing. On the other hand, I feel like men pull this shit a lot and maybe it was good for him to know he isn't the only fish in her pond. Idk. On this issue I have erred toward casual probably more often than I should have, to regretful effects, so for me the jury is out on that.

Dro walks Molly to her door and her building is so lovely. Oh, it turns out Dro drove Molly's car home. That kinda makes it even more shitty that she left Sterling K Brown? When Dro goes to leave, because we must be overtly aware of the stupid and ridiculous choices they make, she pulls him back and kisses him. Then we cut to them boning a second later. Excellent sex scene. Extremely poor choice.

#insecure hbo #issa rae

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