#punkcabaretisfreedom

[alisamlibby]

Dear Amanda and Brian

Amanda, you are amazing and talented and gorgeous and all of the things that approximately 200 people had already told you that night. I was tired and you were more tired and I am a Mom and felt bad keeping another Mom away from her rest. I didn't have the time or mental capacity to say all that I wanted to say. I gave you postcards and told you that my current novel-in-progress was “fueled by your music.” You asked me a question right when I was blurting out “clockwork ballerinas!” And I said, “what?” And you asked me again and it was loud and I think you asked me if my books were fiction and I said yes, Young Adult fiction. And then we took a picture and said goodbye.

Here is what I wanted to tell you both:

When I was suffering clinical depression and anxiety, your music woke me up to life in a way that few things could. Your music moved through my bones and blood. I remember the first time I listened to your songs at full volume on my stereo at home, and how it changed me. I took long walks through the cemetery every day after work, listening to your music and sometimes singing along with you, aloud, to the stones. And I remember crying once, because it made me feel like something inside of me was waking up and realizing that I was living within a permanent fog. And part of me—full of rage and fear—was trying to tear through it.

When I suffered writer's block during my depression, I turned to your music as an outlet, a release of pent up creative energy. And somewhere in that deranged music box of your albums I found the perfect songs for my emotional state. And in that jagged beauty I found inspiration. And clockwork ballerinas.

Even on the other side of depression, your songs offered comfort and escape. When I was pregnant, I listened to your albums (along with David Bowie), during my daily commute, with eyes closed and in a meditative state, to calm the all-day nausea that I suffered for nearly my entire pregnancy.

Amanda, I’ve heard you talk about the challenge of being an artist and a mother. I feel this keenly. I have had people assume that I would take a break, or not write anymore, now that I have a child. And though time is tight and I feel guilty choosing to take time away from her in order to create, I also want to show her that this is how you pursue something that you love.

My daughter is not yet three years old, dances with me to Bowie but “loves Everly Brothers” (a quote). When I saw her play her miniature piano and bang on a tub with a drumstick at the same time, I saw an opportunity. I played her your music, and she has since requested it as “Piano and Drums.” I want to teach her to be fearless in whatever she does, be it music, art, science, clown college—anything. Find your passion and do it with passion. Pour yourself into it. Don't be afraid to reinvent yourself. I am still learning these things. I hope that if I instill this in her early, she may have an easier time trusting her creative gut. Also, we both dance to your music like maniacs, and giggle, and it feels wonderful.

[wolfscall]

#LongLivePunkCabaret #PunkCabaretIsFreedom

[exorcistasy-blog]

Holy shit. I have some truly incredible friends on this planet. Five years ago, Amanda Palmer fed me some peanut butter balls outside of a Dresden Dolls show. The guy who made them, my dear friend Jared, found out I've been having a hard time with life over the past year, so he mailed me his entire massive collection of Dresden Dolls and Amanda Palmer memorabilia. This picture isn't even half of what was sent. This is truly an incredible gift to receive and I cannot thank you enough for passing this on to me. I will take care of everything. And I will wear every one of these oversized shirts. They're in good hands sir! Keep rocking through this new journey in life that you're on and may peace be with you. #dresdendolls #thedresdendolls #amandapalmer #afp #evelynevelyn #yesvirginia #punkcabaretisfreedom

[wolfscall]

#LongLivePunkCabaret #PunkCabaretIsFreedom

[wolfscall]

#LongLivePunkCabaret #PunkCabaretIsFreedom