#punk really thinks he birthed that dog huh?

[d-lanx]

[constellarations]

when you come home with a stray animal

pairings: xiao, diluc, venti, childe (separate) x gn!reader

warnings: not proofread, childe's real name

notes: first writing post on this blog ? ? ?. also the dog in diluc's has no gender

XIAO ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

stares at you blankly when you appear with a cat cuddled up in your arms

mortals these days...

he's very. neutral. no opinion, blank face mr. adeptus as always!!

that is, until you oh-so coincidentally have to leave for a commission, leaving xiao alone with that. thing. (cat)

he stares at it, daring it to make a move.

obviously it doesn't. xiao's gaze is very scary, even to animals

"tch, i don't get why [name] likes you so much." xiao says as he crouches down to get a closer look at the feline, unfazed as its pink nose brushed up against his own

to adepti, the term 'cute' was highly unheard of. and to xiao? the closest thing to cute was you

he'd never tell you that, though. nope! absolutely not! the thought makes him writhe in cringe!

Gazing uninterestedly at the cat you had brought home after adventuring in Mondstadt, it was safe to say that Xiao was not amused.

Not only did both you and him have very busy schedules, what were cats even supposed to eat?! Fish? Meat? Grass?

The Yaksha grumbled under his breath, cursing the heavens for leaving him alone with this cat as he'd much rather it be you in its stead.

"Meow," It spoke.

"No," Was all Xiao replied with. He had no time for this, whether it be cat or human interaction, the Adeptus had duties to fulfill! Demons to slay!

"Meooow?"

". . ."

this cat was just. existing. yet somehow, it really got on his nerves

"what do you want?" xiao queried, paying no mind that he was. in fact. speaking to a cat

"meow."

"what?"

"mew."

"???"

xiao just stays there, eyes knit in confusion as the purple rhombus on his head wrinkles in deep thought. deciphering the meaning of this cat's wise words, you come home from your commission to the sight of xiao trying to communicate with a cat

"eh? xiao? are you talking to the cat?"

"what? no. of course not, you mortals think so lowly of us adepti," xiao clicks his tongue and crosses his arms, looking away with an embarrassed expression as the cat sitting besides him clearly says otherwise

"is that so?"

"are you doubting the words of an adeptus?"

"nope!"

you were in fact doubting the words of an adeptus.

DILUC ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

doesn't really pay much attention to the dog you brought home

of course, diluc's house is huuge! it's no wonder he wouldn't notice a dog wandering around. obviously, he's aware it's a stray, but he doesn't really... care? i mean, he cares because you like it. but otherwise, this dog is of no substance to him

do not. i repeat, do not leave it up to him to name the dog. he'll name it something like "bob" because that's all he could think of

now, diluc starts to notice the dog when you begin bringing it along with you on your dates with him. is that weird? to have a dog thirdwheel his date with you? uh, yeah, it is. diluc doesn't know how to feel about a dog taking up his lover's attention more than him.

"diluc! isn't koko so cute?" you exclaimed, ruffling the dog's head cheerfully as the dog barked in response to its name. koko, koko was a weird name, diluc must admit, but it did sound cute

"yes," what was he supposed to say? '[name], i feel like you're dating koko instead of me now]'???

noticing your lover's hesitant reply, you were quick to acknowledge how stiff diluc was around koko. and it was because of this that you came up with the elaborate, master plan!

"Diluc, are you free?" You peeked in the doorway, observing the typhoon's mounds of paperwork and endless array of business deals, all that were either rejected or accepted were sorted neatly into piles.

"It depends," Diluc responded absentmindedly, "what do you need, [Name]?"

"Can you walk Koko today?"

The pen stopped moving, vermilion eyes trailing up to gaze at you in disbelief.

"Me?"

"Yep!"

"Why not the maids?" Diluc wasn't opposed, per se, he was just shocked that you would leave such a job to him. Maybe you didn't enjoy walking Koko as much as he assumed.

"Because I want you to do it!"

the male sighs, conflicted over how your words sway him so easily. of course, he agrees, not knowing what else to say

after he finishes his paperwork and before his nightly duties diluc grabs a leash and takes koko out for a little walk around the winery

(not mondstadt because he has an image to uphold)

honestly? he enjoys it a little. going out for fresh air that doesn't involve battling is in fact, very, very relaxing.

now. after his very first peaceful walk with koko, diluc will begin to appreciate the dog more; bringing home dog toys and different treats, the dawn winery head has now become very soft for an animal

OH!! and diluc sometimes sleeps with koko on his chest!!! so cute

whenever you're out for too long diluc definitely hugs koko in your stead... koko is very fluffy and warm and you love koko so diluc loves them too!!

VENTI ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

let's just say you brought home a cat.

actually, if you brought home a cat, there would be no home anymore. venti would sneeze the literal roof off your house

so put the cat back, bb. it's okay, you don't need it... not anymore... not when you need a house...

"[Name] is that a... a... cat?!" Venti gasped, standing on top of a kitchen counter as he acted as if the cat had contracted one of the deadliest diseases.

"Get it out!" He yelped, waving his hands around as his nose got redder and redder, sneezes leaving his lips as you sighed.

CHILDE ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

i saw this hc that childe was terrible around animals and i 100% agree

the moment you bring home a dog, it starts barking at the sight of childe. and no, not like you childe simps barking, its yapping, wanting to get out of the harbinger's presence right away

"[name]? who's this little puppy?" slurring his words like a baby, childe smiled cheerily before crouching down to pet the dog, only for it to bite his hand

". . . uh, i found it."

exchanging a staring contest with each other, childe's bright smile dimmed ever so slightly, a close-eyed expression indicating that "if [name] hadn't brought you home, i'd kill you."

with this dog's existence, it doesn't let childe anywhere near you. and because of that, he hates it. when they think you're not looking, childe and the dog have a piercing staring contest as if to say "what are you going to do? huh?"

of course. they come to a peaceful resolution when a treasure hoarder decides to invade your personal space bubble. obviously, childe could make waste of the good-for-nothing punk, but stepping back with a grin, he let the dog do its work!

cheering in the background, the harbinger was very impressed with the dog's display of [name] protection!

and this. this is the birth of a new friendship.

"Ajax?" You blinked, confused at the way the Harbinger held himself proudly, hands on his hips as the dog sat beside him, wagging its tail.

"That's me!"

"What are you doing?"

"Protecting you!"

"What protecting are you doing?"

The ginger pointed at himself and then at the dog.

Oh.

He trained the dog to become a guard dog.

[johnkrrasinski]

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 3: chains around my demons

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,798

Summary: blessed with telepathic abilities since birth, you were captured by HYDRA and turned into one of their weapons to kill. after the blip, you were pardoned by the government and you were obliged to check up with dr. raynor everyday which you had no clue would lead you to the one soul you’d been waiting for.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) angst, mentions of anxiety, nightmares, murders.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

The next day, you packed up your bags and were ready to leave. You were waiting on Sam to arrive at Wakanda with the quinjet so he could fly you and Bucky back to the compound. You were a little bummed about leaving Wakanda, it had been a therapeutic experience for you and Bucky to be here. The thought of living the domestic life, in a beautiful place like Wakanda that is far away from the bustling city of New York was enticing. Sometimes you’d look at Bucky just walking around in his shirt and sweatpants doing the most mundane things instead of getting prepared for another mission and you’d think “I could get used to this.”

You thanked T’Challa, Shuri, Queen Ramonda and the Dola Milaje for everything they had done before you bid your farewell. You promised to stay in contact with Shuri and the Dora Milaje but it was still hard to leave them, they were truly the best people you had ever met. They reminded you of everything HYDRA was not. You could see why Bucky always spoke so highly of them.

Later that night, you had the compound all to yourself. Tony was having a date night with Pepper, Natasha was on a mission to Hungary, Sam was visiting his sister in Louisiana and Rhodey was dealing with some air force matters. As much as you loved the Avengers, you were grateful for this moment alone with Bucky.

The dimmed lights in the kitchen where you and Bucky just had dinner gave him an idea, “doll, get up…”

She did as he told even though she had no clue what he was planning, “for what, Bucky?”

He didn’t answer her but rather, he commanded FRIDAY to play a song called Put Your Heart on My Shoulder by Paul Anka. “Let’s dance, doll.”

He put his flesh hand on your waist and took your left hand with his vibranium arm, “I haven’t danced in ages, Buck.”

“Me neither, doll, but we’ll learn from each other,” he smiled affectionately at you.

It started off slow and you kept your eyes on each other, saying things that words can’t illustrate. It’s love, the realization of how fortunate you both were to have found each other. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” you uttered softly as you fiddled with his dog tags.

“Me too, doll. But we got each other now, I won’t let anything keep me away from you for too long.”

There was a brief silence. “Do you remember the last time you danced like this?”

“1945, Stark Expo, before I was shipped out to England. Her name was Connie and I took Steve with me because I wanted to spend it with him on my last night. I set him up with Connie’s friend but the punk just left to try to enlist in the army.”

Steve. You’d heard about him from Natasha and Tony. No one outside of the Avengers really knew where he was but you knew that he went back in time. That’s all you knew about it. You had also learned about his and Bucky’s friendship and how they really went all the way back. You were often curious about his ‘disappearance’ however you didn’t wanna pry or made Bucky feel worse. Losing a friend was always hard, let alone someone who was his only connection to his past, the life that he knew before he was forced to live out those violent years. You’d heard from Sam about how Steve was the only reason why Bucky stayed alive and how he had thought about committing suicide before. Now that he was gone, Sam often feared that Bucky would snap and give in to it but he always tried to be there for him. You were just glad that Bucky had Sam even before you were around.

“Do you… miss Steve?” you hesitantly asked as you rested your head on his chest.

“All the time,” He confessed. You were a tad relieved that Bucky wanted to open up about him to you. “He was the only family I got left, and when he went back, I felt empty. I was just lucky that Sam didn’t give up on me… And that, I met you.”

You smiled, you lifted your head to look at him. “You’re never gonna lose me. Not again,” you touched his face and he kissed you. It was soft, nothing like the kiss on your last night in Wakanda, but you could feel him pouring all the emotions and gratitude he had for you and you did just the same.

He lifted you as you wrapped his legs around his waist, still maintaining that kiss. Bucky carried you onto the dining table where you just had your dinner and he laid you there as he trailed to your throat and all the way down to your body which was now half-exposed after he lifted the hem of your shirt up until your breasts were revealed.

You weren’t wearing any bra so it was easier for him to access your nipples, he sucked on the right one as his flesh hand made its way down to your pants, unbuttoning it, and he inserted his fingers to find your clit, rubbing it in circles, making you even wetter every second. You shut your eyes, letting him have his way with your body.

His fingers and his tongue worked so magically that within seconds, he had you close to orgasm. “Bucky, so close…” You could feel his smirk against your nipple and he rubbed you faster. You moaned his name as you released all over his digits, soaking them up and he lifted his head to look into your eyes as he sucked your juices all over his hand like a fucking ice cream.

“You taste like heaven, sweetheart.” The sight of Bucky staring intensely at you as he sucked on his fingers that were drenched by your cum was euphoric, like watching a live homemade porn video. Bucky took off his sweatpants and his shirt, discarding them on the floor. Seeing him shirtless never ceased to mesmerize you, his body was a work of art. He’d told you one night that it took him a while to accept the scars on his body, let alone the bionic arm that felt nothing like a human but you told him that you loved every inch of it and if you could, you’d worship it forever.

Bucky then lifted the shirt that was still rumpled on your chest, up to your wrists, where he used it as a makeshift knot, keeping your hands above your head, “stay there, understand?”

“Yes, sergeant.” You had no idea what sparked that nickname, but from the way he grinned, he sure loved it and if he loved it, then you were sure to use that in future steamy sessions.

“Sergeant, huh? You’re in big trouble, darling.” Bucky tore your damp panties and you gasped, not expecting him to be so aggressive… Not that you were complaining though. “Bucky…”

“Shh, let me take care of you, baby.” He kissed you ferociously, with his tongue completely dominating your mouth. Without any warning, his middle finger intruded your body… But it was an entirely different feeling from the last time he did that to you because he was using his vibranium arm and the sensation instantly took over your body, running in your veins like that serum in his blood.

“Oh God, Buck…” You whined as you looked down to where his finger was moving in and out of you at a slow pace.

“Does it feel good?” He asked as he kept looking at your face, searching for any signs of discomfort but with each motion, you only seemed to enjoy it.

“Yes, it feels fucking amazing… Don’t stop, please.”

He began to move his digits faster, and when your wails grew louder, he inserted another finger and you arched your back. “Fuck, oh God…” Bucky curled his fingers to brush your sweet spot, pushing you to the edge and you cum for the second time all over his vibranium hand.

“You’re so hot when you cum,” he whispered in a gravelly low voice that could weaken any woman in the knees. He pulled his fingers out of you and he used your juices to stroke his member to make it easier to slide into you.

Bucky lifted your legs onto his shoulders and he lined his cock to your entrance, slowly as he felt your walls fluttered around him. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” Bucky began moving, he was taking his time with your body, wanting to feel every inch of you and you of him, and you whimpered with every thrust. He felt so heavy between your hips that you could feel your orgasm approaching fast, even with the languid pace.

“I’m not gonna last long…” You said in between whimpers.

“I know, doll. Just let go when you’re ready, okay?” He began to speed up, his grunts and the sound of your skin slapping was obscene, making you nearly forget you were fucking in the place where the Avengers would feast (if they found out what you did on this table, Tony would hire a cleaning service company to scrub the entire surface thrice.)

The coil in your lower abdomen tightened and you knew you were seconds away from rupturing. A few more thrusts and you hit your peak. Bucky kept holding your hips tightly and he continued to pound into you, prolonging your orgasm as he chased his own climax. Your body trembled from the aftershocks but from the way Bucky was impaling you, you could feel a fourth orgasm coming and you didn’t know if you could take it anymore.

He felt you squeezing his cock once again and you both came together, pleasure washed over both of you. He shot his load inside you, painting your walls white. A few more shallow thrusts to blow every drop he had left within him. He stayed inside you as he hid his face between your neck and your shoulder, the warmth of his body on top of you was comforting despite the sweat all over your body.

Bucky lifted his head to look at you and sweep the strands of hair sticking on your forehead, “you okay?” he panted. You could only respond by nodding, not moving because of the weight of him still between your legs and how completely spent you were.

Once he had regained his composure, he retreated himself out of you and he carried you in bridal style to your room, wanting nothing else than to take care of you with a hot bath and forehead kisses under the duvet.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream @bluemoon-icecream @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl @extremelyblackandwhite

[misszura]

Get to know me asks 5 ,6,14

5 - any siblings?

Actually, yes, and that's fun because i love speaking about my family, let's introduce them ! (There isn't nothing fun or something, i just love them :3 )

My "biggest" sister (oddest is probably better, but, huh) is called Céline, it's her birth name, but she is known as sister Marguerite Marie in her monastery.

She is born in December 1990, and her favourite color is blue (because of virgin Marie obviously) she is sister since 2012, and she'll be an official one in August (i mean, she was a novice, in reflection before, she'll get the real uniform, it's like a wedding) she plays flute, organ, guitar and probably more.

Then we have Julie, born in February 1993, she moved in her own house in last February and she drives trains, she comes home at least once a week, and she doesn't speak with my little brother anymore. She plays piano, ukulele, banjos and accordion

Next is me, Sophie, you know me (at least a little) i play trumpet and guitar (I'm trying violin, but it's hard)

And finally, Martin, my little brother, he is 17yo (February 2004) he is actually in second year in high school, (in French it's called première, but i think it's the same as junior year in the US) he is working a lot for his final exam (not at all, and that cause some arguments with my parents, plus the fact he is friend with the punks and emos, with alt style of my city XD)

Last year he caused an argument with Julie, he insulted her of slut or whore, and since that they don't speak to each other (even to ask water on the table, it's quite tense) but we still play board games together, and that's really weird XD he plays drum, guitar, little of piano, he sings (not always right, but he tries) (I'll drop a link one day) and he wishes he has a bass

I wrote to much ? Probably, but like this you know a little better my family (as if you cared XD)

6 - any pets?

I have the most wonderful cat in town, Stella, she only likes me, and that's so cool. My brother have her son, Simba, because he is orange. And Julie has a dog (a jack Russell) called Ikar. (Céline isn't allowed to have animals)

14 - favourite subject ?

Summer break.

(I liked music, art, and i loved maths back to middle school. In high school i loved English littérature and French littérature, and in the university, my English and Spanish conversations class are the best !)

[anastasiaskarsgard]

So here’s AU single dad Mark, you can see the vibe his picture inspired here (who is inspired by a real person loosely)

Warning: cursing, mention of drugs and sex. Mention of violence.

“Doctor, you have one last appointment and then you’re free! New puppy needs vaccines and looks very healthy. The guy is seriously dreamy so just mentally prepare yourself for that.” My receptionist Ashley said as she handed me the file. “They’re in number 2.”

I glanced over the file and audibly groaned, drawing both receptionists attention. “I know Mark! Shit! I hope he didn’t recognize my name and come here on purpose. To be quite honest though, I don’t think he’ll even remember me.”

Ashley leaped from her chair to get close enough to whisper, “I need the deets Doc! Did you have a one night stand with him? Or lose your v card to him at prom? Or oh my gosh! did you choose your career over him and left him behind for vet school?”

“Stop reading smut on the internet, and come back to reality. He was 2 years older than me and talked to me one time at a party, informing me that I had potential if I would dress more like a girl, and less like a veterinarian. I doubt he’ll remember it tho.” I chuckled, shaking my head, “Get back to work.” I said as I walked over to room 2, taking a deep breath before opening the door, coming face to face with Mark. He was still drop dead gorgeous.

“My bad, I thought you’d come thru the other door. Dakota, Danielle. Please sit down nice for the Doctor, so your puppy doesn’t get nervous.”

Mark tried to wrangle his two small children to sit down, but at around 2-4 years old, that wasn’t gonna happen. I wondered what girl had snatched up Mark as I checked the puppy out.

“Oh my — kids earmuffs— “ Mark verified both children were in fact covering their ears before turning back to me with a big cheesy smile on his face. “No fucking way! You seriously became a veterinarian!” He exclaimed chuckling.

“Well you gave me the idea, so I just ran with it, “ I said with a smirk.

“Oh my God. You remember I said that? I was a punk, I’m sorry. I just had a thing for you and you’d always ignore me or blow me off, every time I tried to get your attention.”

“I don’t recall you ever trying to get my attention. I do recall you ignoring me.”

“No. I didn’t even have any classes in the portables and I’d go hang out over there and always say what’s up as you’d walk by. I went to all your basketball games and you never once acknowledged my existence and I tried to talk to you in the library a couple times and you would always shoosh me.”

“ well that’s what you’re supposed to do in a library. Also, going into the general vicinity of someone, and expecting them to know somehow that you’re there for them, isn’t very obvious, especially considering the one time you speak to them you tell her that she has potential but dresses like a veterinarian, which is pretty cool if you ask me.” I giggled. Oh sweet mother of God, I giggled. He was so hot, my brain was malfunctioning. Eventhough he was most likely full of shit and trying to get a discount or something, it was wild to think, I was so intimidated by him, I refused to entertain the idea that he might actually like me. It was pretty hilarious. “Looks like you found your happily ever after anyways. Who’s the lucky lady? Anyone I know?”

“Huh?” He looked confused for a few couple beats and then it dawned on him. “Oh yeah I got two awesome mini mes.”

“We’re the 3 musketeers!” A little voice squeaked out.

“Oh sorry. I just figured 2 kids that use ear muffs and the designer dog, someone had domesticated you.” I said looking up to see Mark blush.

“Remember Anna Winters? That’s his mommy and—“

“I don’t mean to interrupt Mark, but could I borrow your little musketeers to feed some newborn puppies that were dumped here? Then we can have a few minutes to catch up. I think you’re my last appointment. Do you mind? The girls and I do it, but they look like they’re good little helpers.”

Both children leaped out of their seats and started jumping up and down pleading to let them help so Mark agreed. I called Ashley in and she was super enthusiastic about having helpers, till she realized Mark wasn’t coming too. As soon as they closed the door, I turned to Mark.

“Thought it would be best if they didn’t hear adult conversations, especially involving their mother.”

“Mothers.”

“I kinda figured since your little girl looks possibly Latina?”

Mark nodded his head. “Yeah So Anna is a full fledged crackhead out in LA or something last I heard. Who knows? She might even be dead. She left him with me when he was a week old and never came back.”

“Wow! What a deplorable human being! But then you had naked time with a lady again, and she got pregnant too huh?” I teased. “Maybe no one told you how this works...”

“No I get it. Danielle’s mom was Dakota’s babysitter, and she just never really went away and it was convenient, and she cleaned and took care of Dakota. But she stopped taking birth control unbeknownst to me, and she winds up pregnant, wanting to get married.”

“So Wait! I know this part! You being the most romantic motherfucker on the planet, was like let’s go to Disneyland and get married in the castle right before the fireworks go off!” I had to give him some shit. He was such a cliche.

Mark laughed his same dorky weird laugh, and I couldn’t help but to laugh too. “No I told her I’m not marrying you. I don’t love you, and she’s like well then as soon as I have this kid, it’s all yours. If you don’t want me, I don’t want your ugly baby.”

“I’d be like ‘it got it from its mama’. She’s adorable though, so you really came out ahead there. What are the odds you’d get two deadbeat moms in a row?”

“Don’t remind me. What’s your story? You married? Kids?”

“Well I went to school and graduated top of my class, so i got into vet school, which is way harder than regular old medical school since there aren’t as many options. Plus it’s pretty challenging. With people you just got to figure out people. I have to know the dogs, cats, horses, goats, birds, lizards pretty much anything that’s alive and not from the primate family, i gotta figure it out. Last week somebody brought in a damn baby kangaroo, trying to tell me it’s a wallaby, and I was like where did you get a Kangaroo in Salt Lake City? Sorry, to answer your actual questions, No baby daddy’s cuz I’ve never met anyone that’s as awesome as I am, so until then I’m just saving the world, one litter at a time. Let’s go peek at them, come on.” I tiptoed out the door, over to the batch of kennels I had them living in, and we peeked around the wall, to see both kids feeding two puppies each, smiling from ear to ear.

“What kind of puppies are they?” Mark whispered.

“Go back in the room and I’ll tell you the story.”

He looked so adorable tiptoeing along, trying to be sneaky. He was like that one part of Fantasia where everybody knows but him that he’s too big to be sneaky.

We get back in the room and he sits on the little bench, patting the seat next to him, looking up at me all sexy like. He knows what he’s doing. “Come sit. I won’t bite.” He said with a lustful tone. Or maybe I just wanted to jump on him and any tone would be lustful......

“You keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna squirt you with the spray bottle,” I couldn’t help but laugh at my own joke. He found it less funny. “They’re all Blood Hounds. The mother got shot by the owners worthless boyfriend, claiming she attacked him, when I have a strong suspicion she was defending the woman from him. The mama dog did get ahold of the guy and shredded his arm up bad enough, it’ll never work again. The woman dropped the puppies off saying he’d kill them when he got home, so that’s how I got nine Bloodhound puppies that have to be fed every few hours. I didn’t have the heart to put them down, and the shelter would of killed them.”

“Aren’t Bloodhounds expensive?”

“Well yes. And they’re actually AKC, but I’m going to fix them all before I adopt them out. I rescue, I don’t profit off animal sales. Just maintenance. I actually offered them to the police since they’ve got the best noses in the business. They’re trying to get the money together to train them. Las Vegas wants two of them, but they got that casino money.”

“How much does it cost to train a dog?”

“Like $22k I think it is. Takes a few years depending if they’re looking for people, drugs, bombs... ”

“Wow. How are you not taken?” He blurted out.

“My bullshit tolerancy is almost non-existent, I work a lot, I’m the only one that thinks I’m funny, i dress like a veterinarian and I’m shallow. How are you single? All that man pretty and diaper changing skills.”

Mark looked down and blushed again. “Ok I’m just gonna go for it. Would you like to go to dinner sometime?” I swear he is holding his breath. Dammit. So cute.

“How about now? When they’re done feeding the puppies, you wanna go feed your rugrats?” I inquired.

“I meant like on a date, just you and me.”

He was so pretty, I wanted to sit on his face, “Oh ho! I cant be alone with you, I’ll get pregnant. Even now, I’m at risk. I need tiny chaperones.”

“Is that so?” He said rising to his feet with a mischevious look on his face, glancing between my eyes and lips. I took a step back and the wall was there. I was trapped. I tried to look oblivious but when he leaned against the wall behind me, with an arm on each side of my head, leaning in so his lips lightly brush my ear, he whispers; “where’s your spray bottle now?”

Oh fuck it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. His lips were so soft and he was surprisingly gentle and not trying to be handsy. What the fuck was I doing!? I pulled away scanning his face for I don’t know what.

“What?” He asked all breathy and desperate, rubbing his perfect little nose on my cheek, getting almost close enough to kiss me, wanting me to close the gap.

“I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I’ll know when I see it.”

“Shut up and kiss me....please?”

Fuck. Anyone else I would have sent packing, but Mark was so tall, and beautiful, and confident, and took care of his kids, and God he smelled good, and if he fucked as well as he kissed, then I might just keep him. I pushed my lips into his and he kissed me a bit more aggressive biting my lower lip.

This was either a really great idea, or the worst idea I’ve ever had, but either way, I was gonna see how it played out.

[frogsagainandagain]

favorite lyric from every fob song

i’m so sorry this is so long please skip this is mainly for me to be able to reference

*songs with incredible lyrics throughout that it was extra hard to choose one or two

honorable mention:  and maybe next time/i’ll remember not to tell you something stupid like I’ll never leave your side

calm before the storm:  you said, between your smiles and regrets: “don’t say it’s over.”

switchblades and infidelity:  walking out on the show is walking out on you/and walking out on you’s still the best thing that I ever did.

pretty in punk:  well I’ve seen your boyfriend/and i don’t think he treats you right/but that’s none of my business is it?

growing up*:  i’ve dried my eyes, now it’s “rushmore”/i’m deep with futures like chicago/no, glenview never meant a thing to me/she never meant a thing to me

the world’s not waiting (for five tired boys in a broken down van):  we’re all “hasbeens” and “never-were’s”

short, fast and loud: good god i wish i was tall

moving pictures:  where can I go when I want you around/but I can’t stand to be around you

parker lewis can’t lose (but i’m gonna give it my best shot): in the meantime just talking with my shoes/converse with my converse

tell that mick:  stop burning bridges and drive off of them

dead on arrival:  i know I’m not your favorite record/but the songs you grow to like never stick at first

grand theft autumn: you need him/i could be him

saturday:  and i read about the afterlife/but I never really lived

homesick at space camp:  landing on a runway in chicago and I’m grounding all my dreams/of ever really seeing california

sending postcards:  when you go i will forget everything about you

chicago is so two years ago*:  she took me down and said:/“boys like you are overrated. so save your breath."          bonus:  with every breath i wish your body will be broken again

the pros and cons of breathing:  i want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

grenade jumper:  living like life’s going out of style.

reinventing the wheel:  i can’t wake up to these reminders of who i am:/a failure at everything… 18 going on extinct.

patron saint*:  and when it all goes to hell/and when it all goes.

my heart is the worst kind of weapon:  we are salt - you are the wound

it’s not a side effect:  and think of all the places/where you’ve been lost/and then found…out/in between my sheets/in between the rights and the wrongs

our lawyer:  we’re only good cause you can have almost famous friends

gin joints:  i used to waste my time dreaming of being alive (now i only waste it dreaming of you)

dance, dance: joe trohman is lame

sugar:  isn’t it messed up how i’m just dying to be him?

nobody puts baby in the corner: you look so good in blue

dark alley: joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends”

atavan halen:  i’ll be stuck fixated on one star/when the world is crashing down

sophomore slump*:  cause i swear i’d burn this city down to show you the light

champagne:  they say, “you want a war? you’ve got a war.”/but who are you fighting for?

i slept with:  douse yourself in cheap perfume it’s/so fitting, so fitting of the way you are

sixteen candles*:  she said, she said, she said, “why don’t you just drop dead?"       bonus:  so say what are you waiting for?/kiss her, kiss her

get busy*:  i used to obsess over living,/now I only obsess over you

XO:  to the "love”, i left my conscience pressed/between the pages of the bible in the drawer

snitches and walkers:  show me a starry-eyed kid/i will break his jaw

the music or the misery*:  it’s true romance is dead, i shot it in the chest then in the head.      bonus:   and if you wanna go down in history then i’m your prince      bonus bonus:  i went to sleep a poet, and i woke up a fraud

thriller:  i can take your problems away with a nod and a wave/of my hand, ‘cause that’s just the kind of boy that i am

take over, breaks over:  don’t pretend you ever forgot about me.

arms race:  i wrote the gospel on giving up/(you look pretty sinking)

me & you:  the best way/to make it through/with hearts and wrists intact/is to realize/two out of three ain’t bad/ain’t bad

hum hallelujah*:  i thought I loved you/it was just how you looked in the light.

golden:  and i knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me

thnks fr th mmrs:  get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes

don’t you know:  i could learn to pity fools as I’m the worst of all/and i can’t stop feeling sorry for myself

the after life of the party:  put love on hold,/young hollywood is on the other line

tunnel of love:  got postcards from my former selves saying: “how’ve you been?”

doldrums:  you’re wrong/are we all wrong?

fame > infamy:  “there’s too much green to feel blue”

you’re crashing*:  the headline reads “the man hangs”, but the jury doesn't                bonus:  baby boy can’t lift his headache head

ringing in my ears: new york eyes, chicago thighs

ginasfs:  threw caution to the wind,/but i’ve got a lousy arm

hard to say:  but don’t get the wrong idea/we’re gonna shoot you

lullabye:  when you wake up the world will come around

disloyal order*:  what a match, i’m half doomed and you’re semi-sweet        bonus: boycott love/ detox just to retox 

i don’t care:  say my name and his in the same breath/i dare you to say they taste the same

winona:  bop bop ba dop

america’s suitehearts: why won’t the world revolve around me?

headfirst slide:  i don’t just want to be a footnote in someone else’s happiness

(shipped) gold standard:  plant palm trees on lake michigan before it gets cold/i gotta feel the wind chill again before i get old

(coffee’s for closers)*: i will never believe in anything again/though change will come

donnie: i’m the one/who charmed the one/who gave up on you

27:  you’re a bottled star/the planets align/you’re just like mars/you shine in the sky

tiffany blews: dear gravity, you held me down in this starless city

wams*:  what makes you so special?/i’m gonna leave you/i’m gonna teach you/how we’re all alone

nosebleed:  goes to the desert the same war his dad rehearsed/came back with flags on coffins and said,/”we won, oh we won.“

west coast smoker:  got my degree in the gutter,/my heart broken in the dorms of the ivy league

pavlove:  i want to make you as lonely as me/so you can get, get addicted to this

the phoenix:  wearing our vintage misery/no, i think it looked a little better on me

light em up:  a constellation of tears on your lashes/burn everything you love, then burn the ashes

alone together:  but i don’t think i’m coming home and i said/i’ll check in tomorrow if i don’t wake up dead

where did the party go:  my old aches become new again/my old friends become exes again

just one yesterday:  letting people down is my thing, baby/find yourself a new gig/this town ain’t big enough for two of us

the mighty fall:  two’s a whole lot lonelier than one

miss missing you*:  baby, you were my picket fence           bonus:  i will sing to you every day/if it will take away the pain

death valley:  undress to impress/you can wear the crown but you’re no princess 

young volcanoes:  come on make it easy/say i never mattered  (basic ik)

rat a tat*:  i’m the lonelier version of you/i just don’t know where it went wrong \

srar:  how’d it get to be only me?/like i’m the last damn kid still kicking/that still believes 

the king is dead:  the may never think and wonder why, dear christ/every time i see you i just want to paint the walls white

art of keeping up disappearances: erase the conclusion/but never meant to clear up/any of the confusion

hot to the touch:  if it’s never been broken/can’t believe in it/now you’re just a problem/for someone else to fix

love, sex, death:  but out of every pretty pretty miscalculation/you have got to be my all-time favorite

eternal summer:  i can’t do this again/i need more oxygen

demigods:  what if we were demigods?/they’d take to our knees/raging at the half of our sins

american made:  when i was younger i couldn’t wait for the days to pass/now i know they’ll never last/and i just want my childhood back

caffeine cold:  don’t breathe life into a monster then/complain when he destroys it all again

irresistible:  too many war wounds and not enough wars/too few rounds in the ring and not enough settled scores/too many sharks, not enough blood in the waves

ab/ap:  i think i. i fell in love again/maybe i just took too much cough medicine

centuries: heavy metal broke my heart       bonus: we are the poisoned youth

the kids aren’t alright*:  and i still feel that rush in my veins./it twists my head just a bit too thin./all those people in those old photographs I’ve seen are dead.

uma thurman: the end of the fucking song

jet pack blues*:  did you ever love her? do you know?/or did you never want to be alone?

novocaine:  if you knew, knew what the bluebirds sang at you,/you would never sing along

4th of july:  you are my favorite "what if”/you are my best “I’ll never know”

favorite record:  and i confessed, confessed to you/riding shotgun underneath the purple skies

immortals:  i try to picture me without you but i can’t

hotel in nyc:  a birth and a death on the same day/and honey I only appeared so i can fade away/i wanna throw my hands in the air and scream/and i could just die laughing on your spiral of shame

young and menace?? champion?? i’m sorry who?? what?? huh???

hold me tight or don’t:  i got too high again/when i realized i can’t not be with you/or be just your friend/i love you to death but i just can’t/i just can’t pretend/we were lovers first/confidants but never friends/were we ever friends?

the last of the real ones:  'cause you’re the last of a dying breed/write our names in the wet concrete

7-9 legendary:  i want to choke (u)/and get sick off of you/like secondhand smoke

alpha dog:  i want to put the midwest home again

austin we have a problem:  i gave you pretentious./i gave you indifference, but you only wanted undressed and defenseless.           bonus: hey! everyone’s an underdog.

catch me if you can:  oh dear lord,/please let me into heaven, for just an afternoon.

from now on we are enemies:  a composer but never composed/singing the symphonies of the overdosed

guilty as charged:  i got greater expectations than oliver twist

hand of god*:  it’s not gossip if it’s the truth/i’m sick of always writing songs for you to slit your wrists to

lake effect kid*:  i’ve got the skyline in my veins/forget your night times/summer love on a gurney with a squeaky wheel/and joke us, joke us/till lakeshore drive comes back into focus

mskwyditd (demo)*:  we sold our souls in dark hotel rooms/we slip tongues and lie like “i will see you soon”

star 67:  maybe we could talk this over/but i swear to god/and i’ll have this phone to my head.

we don’t take hits, we write them:  and my life is holding our heads to this gun/you and your new boy think you can come in and keep me off, but you’re wrong

yule shoot your eye out:  and all i want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me/before you bury yourself alive

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Dr Stone 13 - 15 | Honzuki 1 | Iruma-kun 1 - 2 | Africa Salaryman 1 | Tokunana 1 - 2 | Actors 1 | Abilities Average 1 | Shinchou Yuusha 2 | Assassin’s Pride 1 | No Guns Life 1 - 2 | Kabukicho Sherlock 1 | Ahiru no Sora 2 | BnHA 64 | Shin Chuuka Ichiban 1 | Stand My Heroes 1 - 2

Tags should be rolled out soon.

Dr Stone 13

Did Senku just Salt Bae??? Now I’ve seen everything!

I remember this puckered face from the manga! It’s hilarious!

Poor Kinro…he’s shocked at Ginro’s words…

Those were foxtails.

Who knew Suika’s mask could look so badass, amirite???

Honzuki 1

I like books…so this was a natural pick for me, y’know?

OKAY, why is the girl drinking wine she accepted from an older man??????

O…kay, so this has nice backgrounds and a pretty nice aesthetic with all the flowers, but otherwise it’s kinda dull, to be honest. It moves at the pace of a slice of life show…and I’m not sure it’s intentional or not.

“Only grownups are allowed to tie up their hair.” – So then, and correct me if I’m wrong about this…why is Turi’s hair in a braid? Or, when they mean “up”, they mean in a full bun like Myne (Main???) did earlier?

I’m thinking either a marketplace might have books…or at least signs to read.

I’m thinking of Maou-sama Retry from last season…because I’d rather a boring slow walk like the one I just saw, rather than a terrible run cycle like the one in the first episode of that show.

What…? Was Urano a vegan or vegetarian…? Or just too much of a city slicker to deal with seeing a dead chicken?

Iruma-kun 1

I picked this one based on the good ratings it had on ANN.

How does anyone remember these lyrics??? How many “ba” and “bi”s do you need???

…Hayate the Combat Butler, basically speaking.

Levy = Leviathan, I’d assume.

Aye, what a poor lad…to be sold off at 14…

Well, that was a fast way to set up an episode. If more shows were like this, I’d be a happy camper.

I-Is Opera…a DUDE?! Hallelujah! I hit Bishonen Jackpot #2! (No. 1 is Seiya, of course.)

You comedies wanna play hardball with me? Huh?! Do you, punks?! Let’s see how many times you can make me (wholeheartedly) laugh, then! (Current laugh count: 1)

Gender-coded uniforms, much…?

Is Catgirl related to Opera somehow???

Well, you do know that Asmodeus represents lust, right? That’s why he’s pink, isn’t he?...Isn’t he??? Update: Oh, yeah, right. Sullivan should probably be “Solomon”, but the name is deliberately different for comedy’s sake.

Uh, lemme guess: Daisuke Namikawa for Asmodeus? Update: Ryohei Kimura. I knw he sounded familiar…he’s Kane-san, in other words.

Kamehame-fireball!

(Iruma-kun is a master of dodging)…I thought it was because of that spell from before, really.

Da Vinci homage for the win!

Oh hey! 2nd German suplex of the season (I didn’t watch the first one).

By the power of dodging, Iruma wins…one servant! (Just in case Fate/ wasn’t enough for you…so to speak.)

There’s a single heart on Babylys in the ED, it seems…plus a giant bow.

Africa Salaryman 1

If Beastars is anime Zootopia, then this is absurdist Zootopia.

This is some Attenborough s***...until it isn't.

The OP scenes with the characters dancing...that's gonna be in my nightmares.

Oh, it's the pa in pachinko (“chinko” meaning p***s) that’s missing, so they went with glasses/asses instead.

We got Punpun animated (i.e. frightened Toucan)...score.

Giraffe Donuts, LOL.

I’m really pissed now…there’s no adblocker for my phone, so I had to sit through a good 8 ads or so just to get proper subs…I almost lashed out at someone because of it, too.

FireLion, LOL. I like these old computer-style transitions, but I don’t like how many ads I have to live through for it.

Tokunana 1

Is it just me, or did the police guy say "futures" (plural)...?

Hmm...by brandishing a gun at that point, is this man implying he's a saviour, or that guns are cool? I sure hope it's not the latter, considering gun violence rates worldwide. Then again, I might be reading into this one detail too much.

This reminds me of Midnight Occult Sevants…which doesn’t bode well for this show.

I can see this being my next Cop Craft…which I don’t need this season.

…oh, boy…rule no. 1 of detective shows: don’t be a hostage or get kidnapped. Ever. (Inevitably, if the show is about police in some capacity, someone will break this rule at least once. It’s made to be broken.)

Between this and Kimetsu no Yaiba, we’ve had enough “intelligence” (“using your head”, i.e. headbutting) to last us a while…

This CGI looks kinda bad…Africa Salaryman does better with disguising its CGI.

I like how the skull had a bow on it.

Wait, a dog, bird (pheasant) and gorilla (monkey)…this is some demented Momotaro going on right here…

Lookit that lady go!!! Woot!

To be honest, I keep feeling like Seiji’s gonna develop superpowers…or is this not the show for that…? (I mean, there’s dragons in the synopsis! Dragons!)

This show looks kinda off model, which is a bad sign in the first episode…hearing gunshots after the ED kinda startled me, though, and made a killer move for another episode out of goodwill…come to think of it, I’ve been giving out a lot of “can’t peg down this show with one episode, will watch more” this season already…

Dr Stone 14

(no notes, sorry!)

Actors 1

I’m a fan of Masuda, who voices a character in Actors’s 3rd iteration…IIRC. It’s gonna be a while until we get to him, though.

Uh, how does this guy play keyboard with those floppy sleeves of his???

Specifically, according to Hinata, Haruna told him he was being too noisy before she went back to sleep…although I’ve never seen a little girl be woken up by her big brother in these “I’m late! *puts toast in mouth as they run ou the door*” intros, so it’s refreshing.

His name is Otonomiya (“sound temple��, with “sound” being the thing you hear), of course he’s going to be part of a musical franchise…

“Akizuki Kai” sounds familiar…I dunno why though.

UGGGGGGH! If you’re doing a singing anime, let us hear the damn song!!! Don’t make us wait for the Otonomiya version!!!

Kagura…Sousuke??? Classicaloid??? I am so not going to match that boy with this one. (Well, one of the kanji is different, but everything else is the name, right down to the wordplay. A kagura is a type of dance, y’see, and one of the characters matches one in the Japanese word for “music”, ongaku. The other can be found in Otonomiya’s name, in fact.)

What’s up with this white wall business, anyway??? This ain’t Tokyo Ghoul, this is a singing anime!

Archery boy is good boi. Me likey.

I have a bad feeling about Nozomi, yo.

I LOLled so hard…I mean, this pink dude’s name is Uta Outa…it’s so redundant. You expect me to love him???? LOL, as if!

Con brio = with spirit, with vigour. Adagio = slow, by the way.

Stand My Heroes 1

I’m here for Ume, as I always am. Ume’s role is Go Miyase of the Kujo family.

That was a pretty epic opening, actually.

Who scouts a civilian for a narcotics unit???

I am so not going to be able to match names to faces at this rate…

Hey, don’t you go patronising girls!!!

I feel like it would’ve been better (and flashier) to demonstrate the drug immunity by showing, not talking about it.

Takaomi looks like Tenn from Idolish7, man…

Hmm…I saw Ume’s character, but it’s hard to evaluate his voice for Go just by a “Here you go.” (And no, that’s not a pun…not an intentional one, anyway.)

I just realised Aoyama has this tiny plait on the side of his head. It’s rather cutesy for a narcotics show.

(Aoyama informs Rei about Arakida)…yeah, but why are you here, Aoyama? Are you just here to warn Rei???

The stain really is gone, you really can’t tell that it is there…I assume that means she was drinking water in that tall glass of hers (Rei).

This ending song is a bit weird…I never expected it to be English. I expected it to be by the VAs, to be honest.

Abilities Average 1

It’s better if I call this “Abilities Average” rather than the long-winded “Didn’t I Say to Make My Abilities Average in the Next Life?!”.

The scenery in this show is nice, at least…(?) But is that a CGI carriage I see?

Comic Earth Star…that doesn’t bode particularly well for me. The only series I’ve watched that has a series that hails from that magazine is SekaTsuyo (Wanna Be the Strongest in the World!) and I didn’t like it much in the end.

Ohhhhhhhhh…kay. Is it just me, or did I read “Hotel Little Gust” as “Hotel Little Girl”…?

Mile and Myne (spelling pending). In female-led isekai. This season only!!!...this is gonna suck, isn’t it?

Lenny is a boy’s name, though…?

Why is the show’s English tagline “God bless me?”…? I’ve half a mind to drop this show already…and I read the premiere report on ANN, so I knew it was going to end like this. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve had a season where I just catch up on older series, even though I keep thinking I will have one on my hands during weak seasons. (This has been a worry since the especially weak summer 2018 season, really.)

The Spain Square…? Really?

Really? You’re gonna complain about Japan’s declining birth rate here???

Whoa, I wouldn’t be surprised if this show were taken for granted by yuri shippers…

The extreme buffering means I managed to spot a redhead who I’ve seen on this show’s promo material…yup, that’s her.

Oh…great. This redhead is tsundere…(If I give one more complaint, I’m getting out of here!)

Oh…so Mile even pointed it out…(probably because this buffering is going so slowly, I can guess what’s happening before it actually happens.)

Okay, so I never figured out why she started calling herself a country girl and I went back and looked (despite all the buffering I was fighting) and no one ever does call her a country girl, it’s just a random misconception she has. Because it was so unclear that this was the case, I’m going to drop this show. (Well, for all the middling shows I have this season, losing one is actually a relief…!)

Shinchou Yuusha 2

Here we are again…and I’ve been thinking about Seiya a lot since last time, which probably seals the deal in that this is going to be part of the final lineup. (Today’s Seiya probably helps a lot with that.)

Ohmigosh, Rista’s panicked face when they almost get caught by Chaos Machina…LOL.

…just as I thought, I go “nnnnergh” under my breath when someone mentions the name “Aria”.

Assassin’s Pride 1

I picked this show because the protag looked kinda hot…but only now I realise he looks like a knock-off Kirito and I really start to regret my choice…

Is it just me, or is this show really dark??? (Not just because of the bloody scene at the start, mind you.)

The side of the train says “Cardinals 26110”, in case you were wondering…(then again, you probably weren’t wondering that…)

Wait-his name is Kufa WHAT?!

This is giving me Lance N Masques vibes now, because it did almost the same plot beats except for the fact I still can’t reconcile the fact Kufa Whatsit lives in a lantern (which is actually a pretty interesting idea…if it didn’t seem rather unviable upon retrospect)…that means it’s halfway to drop city.

Melida is so flat, she doesn’t even fill out her dress…(LOL, that gives a new meaning to “flat as a board”.)

But why is the tutor a dude? Plus an older dude to a younger girl, at that???

Hey, Melida is essentially my kinda catnip…at least in my head...because she’s someone without powers in a family with powers (basically, she’s like Daichi from Crimson/Future is Crimson in that regard). Then again, Charlotte tried playing the same hand by having superpowers and absolutely sunk itself ‘cos I couldn’t stand Yu.

Elise runs reallllllly derpily.

Those CGI alleyways look baaaaaaaaad, man. Like, “looking at grainy footage through a UV camera” bad.

Okay, Kufa. You are not Naruto. You will not see them aliens. Give up already.

The actual frig is an anima???

I like this black/bright blue/purple combo…it’s nice.

Umm…but what is the way to awaken the mana???

I’m currently going, “So why should I give a s*** about Melida???? Ripoff Kirito just chooses to swear his life upon her and awakening her mana because she’s been beaten down a grand total of once…You should’ve killed her already, Kufa. Isn’t that what being an assassin is about???”…and then I realise there’s more to the episode…

Waiiiiiiiiiiiit…one of the maids’ names is Nietzsche??? Like the Ubermensch guy??? That’s weiiiiiiiird, man…

Kufa is a chuuni, calling it now.

The text under the series logo doesn’t quite make sense…

Hmm, this one’s a tough call, but I think I’ll give it a 45 and a hard drop. I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself “So why should I give a s*** about the main character?” before…I think the closset to that would be when I’ve asked myself why I wanted to be subjected to this (for anime that get dropped).  

No Guns Life 1

Now that I look at the title again…why is it called No Guns Life when Juzo’s life will always have a gun in it for as long as he’s like that (i.e. he has a gun for his head)…?

*Juzo smokes* - Oh, now that’s a striking opening scene if I ever knew one!

Ohmigoshit’sKnuckledusterfromBnHAVigilanteswithagunforhisheadand…I…*huff huff* can’t breathe anymore…LOL.

Seriously, I thought I thought up some weird s*** for my old stories, like the girl whose face was missing and Akoya turning into a manequin to preserve his beauty.

“The only ones who can touch my trigger are those who I’ve chosen to accept.” – Is that…a sexual metaphor??? Or an intimacy one in general???

Wowwwwwwwww, chibi gunhead (which was hinted in the OP) was not something I expected from such a hardboiled show.

“…shot right in the head.” – LOL, says you when the guy with the gun head is behind you.

I thought there was seriously a pun there by having the gun head’s name be “Juzo”, but it turns out his name has the kanji for 13. Maybe that hints at how unlucky he is instead. (Same with Inui and it containing the character for “dog” – turns out it’s a different kanji.)

I think this is reminding me of Mahoutsukai no Yome – strong in its core genre at first, but then shows some weakness when it comes to comedy.

I worry about how this show will look during the midseason slump period…it both has traces of CGI and the still camera pretending it’s “properly animating” a scene.

That ED really is something…and hey, I got an explanation for why the show has traces of CGI in it from the credits! Unreal Engine was credited there and that’s normally used for games.

Kabukicho Sherlock 1

Dammmmmmmmn, that’s one sweet soundtrack!

Man, I know I said for Stars Align that there’s no slap to the face like a slap to the face, but…this was a slap to the face in that I did not expect Mrs Hudson to do an entire Coraline-style musical routine in the first half of the episode. I could tell from her (?) appearance that she was a drag queen/trans caricature, but they didn’t need to make her a singer in a bar…and the “sexy” shots of Mrs Hudson’s butt are kinda disturbing…and especially the part where Watson (I think it is?) gets a butt grab for his trouble…

The woman in the blue dress is Diana Oldoini (spelling needs confirmation). The woman with the blue hair…seems to be called Tenkill…(yeah, under the subs, I can’t really make it out.) All the women at Pipe Cat seem to be trans stereotypes, which vaguely annoys and unsettles me.

Kyogoku = Natsuhiko Kyogoku and Sherlock is Holmes, but I dunno about “Michel” or “Kobayashi”.

The Watson from the Holmes books was a doctor in the Afghanistan war…I know that much.

Natsu -> Fuyu (summer -> winter), hiko (“brilliance/brightness”, a common component to Japanese boys’ names) -> to (“person”, also a common component of Japanese boy’s names).

Oh, Michel is this guy (Belmont)! No wonder. Update: So the cats are like placecards, announcing that you’re in the building.

White Rose! I saw it when Watson showed up in his car, so I figured it was going to be important…I just didn’t think it was necessary so soon…

Chili oil…no wonder the woman was disgusted by Sherlock’s burp. Not to mention, Holmes was good at identifying chemicals too. This show is shaping up to be a modern Holmes more than Detective Conan is!

Wowwwwwwww…this show really doesn’t like gay people either (understatement).  It’s like I’m watching a show from the 90s in regards to the LGBTIQ+ people in this…

Moriarty is a thief for thieves, huh? A regular (modern) Robin Hood, so to speak. I wonder if the poor kids are the Baker Street Irregulars…?

This soundtrack is sooooo good! Plus it’s clearly leading up to a rakugo scene, based on the fact “Shibahama” briefly appeared on the screen during that really cool rainbow/text scene!

“What sort of girl takes her clothes off for a man she’s never met?” – A sex worker.

I-Is Moriarty drinking Dr Pepper…? Or Coke?

This is really shaping up to be a modern Sherlock Holmes – with his rakugo, this Sherlock is leading his Watson to the answer!

Ohhhhhhhhh man, these CGI cars look terrible!

H-HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?! W-What? Sherlock gets hit by a car in the first episode (I think they wanted it to happen for humour)? This really is a show where it’s neither mystery nor comedy…it’s just kinda weird and kinda there.  

So that’s Mary Morstan and…who? (If you never figured it out, I learnt these characters’ names through ANN cast announcements.)

I…don’t get why Sherlock is screaming because I don’t know what Watson’s bottle-thingy is for, but I’ll assume it has to do with pain for Sherlock’s genitals or something of the sort…and go “ouch” for him.

Okay, so the next-ep preview’s “Why not join the staring at eye moles squad?” is a joke. You see, the word nakibokuro refers to a mole (or beauty spot) under the eye (where hokuro = mole and naki = cry, so it’s as if the person cried the mole into existence). Then it’s mitsumetai, meaning “want to stare”, but then the tai for “want” is substituted for the tai meaning “squad”. So that nonsense English line is just a very literal translation that isn’t funny…just confusing. I don’t get the “Cobra?/ Farewell” exchange though…

This very last scene before the end of the episode seems to be a page of info about the setting of Shinjuku in this series. East and west were split by a wall and train tracks, it seems, and you ned to pass through the gate to go between them…I spotted this omake because of the cat in one corner.

I don’t quite get why the case had to be treated like a gameshow at one part, but that would be a cool plot if someone ever wrote a story about it…(actually, wait. I think I do know a similar plotline from Detective Conan – the one with Natsuki in it – plus the Running Man by Steven King is somewhat similar to it too.)

Ahiru no Sora 2

Essentially, Sora is a reverse Kuroko…amirite…?

Ugh! This slang is so outdated!!! “[T]otes craycray”…the translator’s trying too hard to be a hip teenager…

How does anyone keep food in their afro anyway…?

I…miss shonen protags like Ahiru. The type that are earnest, but not shouty.

I was thinking I might drop the show here, but then I looked at the posts and strangely they didn’t talk about Chiaki (who I expected to be the deuteragonist of this show). Instead, they talk about Momoharu, so I was wondering what kind of twist they were pulling.

Beet red, my butt…

…then again, more Chiaki shenanigans showed up, so I really am gonna drop this. Geesh, Chiaki, you really suck.

BnHA 64

Eyyyyyyyyy, my local sublicensor is back to simulcasting BnHA! That didn’t happen for the stuff affected by the CR x Funi partnership, so I’m happy it’s happening right now.

I heard this was a recap ep but it was handled well…oh well, the new OP is well worth the price of admission.

I like how Amajiki (my boyyyyyyyy!) is like “Don’t touch me!!!”, even in the OP.

Hmm…I see one of the male journalists being scolded uses Windows 10.

Tokuda’s name is literally a pun on “It’s a special (episode)”…good job, Bones and BnHA staff (sarcastic). Update: Maybe the “tane” (seed) means he’s seedy…?Nah, that pun doesn’t work in Japanese.

Good job on recapping Vault Boy (as he’s known). I found his POWERRRRRR! thing amusing when s3 was airing, remember?

I get the feeling (based on the chapters Viz made free for the sake of hyping s4 up) Nighteye is a parody of the Jump series Seiji Tanaka. Update: No, now that I google Seiji Tanaka up and remember Horikoshi was going for a stereotypical Japanese salaryman look, it’s just a giant coincidence…

Tokuda has that “nice older man” vibe going on…hmm…

Whoaaaaaaaaaaa, that quirk is creepyyyyyy…

“…false encouragement to those…”

Selfie for the photobomb photographer!...(or something like that…)

Oh nooooooooo, I know exactly what’s in store for these guys, now that Viz made chs. 122 – 162 available for free for a limited time!!! That ED though…it’s basically torture for someone who knows what’s going on!!!

Shin Chuuka Ichiban 1

This is a sequel to a series I watched ages ago in Cantonese, so…heck if I’ll understand what’s going on, but I’ll try. Even though my memory of these characters should be better than everyone else’s, it might even be worse, considering all the anime I watched in the years between…

All these faces are familiar…but I’ve forgotten most of their names…If I remember right, the blonde is Sanche, the only one I really remember because he gave his all to cutting radish by moonlight so that it was proven it was so thin you could see the moonlight through it…yeah, I think that’s the only character aside from Mao I can really say anything about. (I don’t think he was blonde last time I saw an anime about him, though.)

These chickens are adorable...in this day and age, we know these chickens aren't carriers of misfortune...but just roll with it for now.

The subs don't note it (the visuals do eventually though), but her (Tiya’s) bro is a big one.

I never realised how long Mao's hair was until this series...

Even these men look like chickens...LOL.

The essence of SCI is, like any other shonen, Mao gets underestimated and kicks their asses.

The men even sound like chickens, LOL.

See? Silkies. I've never taken care of one myself, but they are adorable lil' birds with a distinctive look. Anyways, I think what sets this apart from SnS is the earnestness from years gone by (rather than extreme exaggerating). Also, this ep. made me hungry...LOL, that's the sign of a good cooking show.

Yeah...I forgot the reason why Mao wears that blue thing over his arm is because he can dramatically reveal himself as Super Chef. That happened a lot in s1.

...who's Fei again...?

Tokunana 2

I think this is going to be the decider as to where I push the threshold of my rankings, since this how is very middling…also, it’s pretty obvious to note the ep. titles go 1, 2, 3…(and so on).

I’ve watched my fair share of mysteries (Detective Conan gives you a lot of ‘em), so I can tell the covering of the mouth is a tell…the dwarvish man is lying.

The news headline says “Rainbow Bridge Reconstruction”…(It has a particle on the end though…I dunno whether I wanna translate that or not.)

Based on the “dragons” idea, I wouldn’t be surprised if the main antagonist’s surname was Kuzuryuu (“9 headed dragon”).  

Codenames? They even did that in Double Decker and in some senses, that was a parody of the entire cop procedural! (What with “Perm” as a codename and all that…speaking of which, I think Travis was the type who liked “fun” codenames too…he called himself “Boss” as well…and called his rookie “Rookie”.)

The saying goes a painted dragon should have the eyes painted last or else it’ll come alive and fly away. It must be something of the sort for daruma too. By the way, I could guess the politician was trying to be re-elected before Ichinose said due to the hissho (“sure win”) written on the daruma.

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone in anime sit backwards on a chair like that (Ichinose’s pose)…

How does Suga know about the blog…?

I keep swearing Seiji is gonna awaken some type of powers, but…I dunno why…?

“Here it is! My fist of justice!” *whomp*…that’s how I imagined the final punch to be for Seiji.

I swear…I’ve been seeing this Angolmois-style filter over Tokunana…(grr…)

Stand My Heroes 2

Wait, there’s Hattori…and Hatori…? Update: Oh…kay, so there’s Otani Hatori (of Revel) and then Hattori You (of the police). They have the same colour hair…and the same hairstyle…there goes my dreams of even comprehending this show…

Wait, so the English-language song is the OP????

Why does a guy called Maki always have green hair…?

Seriously though…Yui is a cliched scientist. By that, I mean he doesn’t really act like one at all – he obsesses over potential samples and whatnot (emphasis on “potential”).

Where the heck did you acquire a drug like that, then, Kagura???

Only Rei, who knows what happened at the dinner, can say “you’re nice based on what you did at dinner”. The viewer wasn’t privy to such things…

Aki’s tsundere…!

That fight scene was barely animated…geesh.

Maki’s got such anger issues that it’s hard to get behind him…

By the by, I don’t find Jekyll and Hyde cases hot, so Maki is basically a no-go.

Iruma-kun 2

This could be the show that decides it all. Iruma-kun is the 2nd-last show on my prospective shows for the season, so I’m cutting the fat fast by watching a few shows that indicate the quality of everything underneath as well as itself.

LOL, I never noticed there was an “Oh my gah” in the OP, haha.

Okay, so the pun in the title is Mairimashita! Iruma-kun (“I’ve Arrived! Iruma-kun”in formal Japanese because he’s the demon king’s grandson), but it’s “demon entry” rather than the standard kanji…so there’s absolutely no way to make that joke work in English, hence “Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun”. The pun in Iruma is that it’s an anagram of the formal iku/kuru (come/go), mairu. Yes, that’s the mairu I was talking about earlier.

I love how the narrator is just like “akuma deeeeeee~su” with all the enthusiasm of a postman; that is, he’s not very good at covering up his sarcasm.

Oh, so it’s maccha, but macha (demon tea)…geddit?

…oh! I actually noticed Sullivan’s hands were bandaged, but I didn’t think anything of it! So it was plot-relevant…

Hellraiser clock…for mezamashidokei (where ma = demon again)…that is a good pun! I love you, subber!

I assume the series of 5 symbols I keep seeing is actually “Iruma”, meaning the demon language is based on English, or at the very least individual romaji.

Oh wait! Babibabi(etc.)ru…does that mean the OP is referring to the school??? *mindblown*

…don’t tell me it’s Sullivan…? Update: Nope, I forgot about “Severus Snape”. He’s Aizawa from BnHA, but a demon.

Asmodeus stands out far too much in a crowd, LOL.

Whether useful or useless, trash is trash.

That’s…a very death metal snake…to put it one way.

This reminds me of Future is Crimson…how nostalgic…I really expect a cute monster though.

*laughing behind hand* Oh noooooooo…does that mean Iruma summoned the teacher??? (Hahahah!!!! Hahahaha!!!)

So…I was right, but I wasn’t right??? The teacher is a cute demon, I guess. Very fluffy. His Snape form isn’t bad either, but I’d prefer someone younger than him, to be honest. (Gimme plushies of the small fluffy sensei!)

Okay, so sukima appears to be a word meaning “gap, crevice (etc.)”. There’s the character for demon in it, so it’s kinda like calling this section the demonic gap-closer…the malevolent mini-episode…the fiendish filler! Yeah, I like the sound of “fiendish filler” (even though I don’t even like filler!).

Dr Stone 15

…now Senku’s done it. (i.e. married Ruri)

I like how Suika went splat while running. It adds more consistency to her nearsightedness.

Now there’s a cliffhanger!

No Guns Life 2

I always love it when people say they’re unarmed…but truth be told, people (normally) have two arms…not to mention, Juzo has a gun for a head and a fist that can rapidly punch. You can’t really call that “unarmed”.

I just realised Juzo’s jaw doesn’t really move when he talks…

Wait a second, ARAHABAKI????? You mean, Chuuya Arahabaki???? (Talking about that to those not in the know would be spoilers, so I won’t explain what I mean here, just in case there are non-BSD fans reading this.)

So…uh, where are Juzo’s eyes in that head of his…?

Ooh, authentication keys. Sounds like cybersecurity. That…was my jam before I jumped ship – apparently I’m too dumb to deal with modulos (which are important to cybersecurity).

Hmm…gun slave unit? Whatever does that mean, hmm??? (somewhat inquisitive, somewhat sarcastic)

Can a guy with a gun for his head get lung cancer? These are the big questions, folks.

Hmm? His hobby is house-cleaning, but he doesn’t have any kids…? That sounds sort of weird (although my ideas of a house cleaner are probably a bit…motherly, I guess? “Conforming to traditional stereotypes”…how about that description instead…?).

I never realised how short the muzzle of Juzo’s head is until I got this side shot.

“Guess that means I won’t be able to hold back against you!” – Whoa! That’s some effective horror…and this isn’t even a show that has “horror” as one of its genres…

[blogging-bible-blog]

BLOGGING BIBLE PART 1!

Warning: If you’re religious, or easily offended, I’d recommend that you leave now and forget that this ever happened. I REPEAT: this is the Bible from the view of an atheist, and no amount of hate-anons or spiritual messages will convert me to anything other than my self-proclaimed atheistic-Satanism.

Today on Blogging Bible – I beat up the 10 Commandments and call out their rules as bullshit!

Lucy here. Dude, I am fucking ready to read a bible. (Cue the into to song “Vampire Money” by the late, extremely satanic punk band, My Chemical Romance. Shudder, I’m definitely going to hell because of my music selection.)

     Stuff to know before you start reading:

Yeah, I’m a girl. And a lowkey feminist. And yeah, I know I’m gonna get butthurt over the extremely disgusting treatment of women in this “book”.

Yeah, I know people are gonna get butthurt over me getting butthurt over this 2,000-page book made of tissue paper and incredibly bad binding. But I’ve got a brick that weighs five pounds with the word Bible on it and I’m not afraid to use it. (This thing could cause some pretty wicked blunt force trauma, y’all.)

I am an atheist. However, I have no problem adhering to the eleven rules of Satanism as stated at the official Church of Satan website. So, you could call me an Atheistic Satanist. Please don’t yell at me, I know that’s not the most popular label to identify under, but frankly, I don’t care.

I don’t have any problem outright bashing this book. Figuratively and literally. It’s a fucking book, I can throw it into the wall if I want to. (I wouldn’t do that with any other book, tbh. This one is a special case.) Also, I’ve already thought of some sick burns to use, so once again, if you easily get offended, please leave now.

 Yeah. So. Got all that stuff covered. Now… time to get out the Bible.

 First Impression:

God, this thing is heavy.

I picked this thing up at the free pile in the public library, and I can understand why nobody wanted it. There’s this awful plastic cover on the front that’s wrinkly enough to be my grandma’s face. NIrV, The Adventure BIBLE FOR YOUNG READERS.

Yeah, I’m reading the young-readers version because I would not, I repeat not, be able to make it through a normal one. Also, I am young and must be protected from the word “sex”. (JK. But seriously, this book seems to have a problem with the word sex. Couldn’t they just say, “Adam and Eve had some sweet, sweet baby-making bangin’”? It would make much more sense than “They made love. Then she went through an excruciatingly painful birth and had a child.” I think God had a thing against humor.)

Okay… first page. Looks like some sort of diary thing, because there’s lots of lines and bad little kid handwriting. Once again, I am painfully reminded of the fact that I’m reading the watered-down kid’s version.

This NIrV bible was given to…

Name: Caleb Grant Speight

On: 2-22-05

By: Daddy and Mama

Okay, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel bad for this kid, because this whole page has a “Son, this is your entire birthday present” vibe. Also – 2005? God, do you remember what computers looked like back then? Jeez. (I now realize that I just said the Lord’s name in vain twice in one go, so yeah, I’m definitely going to hell.)

Next page. I still feel bad for this kid, who’s probably 20 by now. I wonder if he still lives here. I wonder if he’s still alive. I wonder if he’s still brainwashed by… okay, here we are, the 10 Commandments for Kids! Joy, joy! These are sure to be good.

1.       You may not love anyone or anything more than you love God.

Okay but… what if you’re dyslexic? “I agree, I don’t love anything more than I love… my dog…” To be clear here, I definitely love my dog more than I love God, because she’s beautiful, loving, and always there for me. The dog, I mean. God could be some ugly troll in the sky for all I care, he hasn’t done batshit for me. This rule is bullshit.

 2.       You may not worship, or put more importance on any person or thing, other than God. You must worship only the Lord, not your parents, not a friend, not a movie star or sports hero, not a car or a boat or skateboard. Nothing.

Oh, jeez. I have to worship my parents more than I worship God, ‘kay? My parents work hard every single day to put dinner on the table and put a roof over my head. God has nothing to do with that, it’s all them. My parents are wonderful people who’ve been raising me since the day I was born. Yeah, they make me do this dishes, (gross gross gross!) but God hasn’t even given me two dollars in my life. This rule is bullshit.

 3.       You may not swear. Use God’s holy name only in a loving way, never to express anger or frustration.

Why the ever loving fuck can’t I swear? Why can’t I fucking use God’s name in an angry way? God, I’m using it now. This is a rule that not even the most Christian-y of Christians follow because I’ve seen them say it in a not-nice way, okay? If you want me to use a different word, then tell me which word you want me to fucking use, God. This rule is bullshit.

 4.       One day of your week should be set aside for rest and the worship of God. Work six days of the week only. You need a special day set aside to relax and meet with other Christians.

Relax, my ass. Have you ever been to church? I went once for a funeral and it was fucking stressful. The pews are like fucking cold ice slabs under your ass and the hymns?? God, it’s stressful to try and sing hymns when you don’t know the fucking lyrics or what the hell they’re about. It’s not relaxing at all. This rule is bullshit.

 5.       Be respectful to your parents. Love them, and the Lord will reward you with a long life.

Huh. The first part of this rule makes sense. However, I think the Bible’s absolutely retarded for talking like this. Tell this to my fucking friend who has a child molester as a father. What if one of your parents is a serial killer? Rapist? What if your parents abuse you!? Are you just supposed to unconditionally love everyone who fucking wrongs you? This is BULLSHIT, you don’t get a long life for loving people that hurt you, you get Stockholm Syndrome. This rule is bullshit.

 6.       You may not hate other people, don’t ever think of hurting someone else in any way.

Okay, I’m just gonna say this: Genesis 4:17 – CAIN FUCKING MURDERS HIS BROTHER FOR ABOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON, AND HE BECOMES PRACTICALLY IMMORTAL WITH A REVENGE SPELL ON HIM, AND HE HAS SEX WITH HIS WIFE AND GETS CHILDREN AND BUILDS A FUCKING CITY. This is saying that it’s OKAY to hurt people, or at least that’s what I’m getting from it. Also, don’t even let me get started on self-defense. This rule is bullshit.

 7.       Keep your thoughts and actions pure. Sex is a gift of God to married couples.

Um, no. I could go and have sex with a random person I’m not married to and it would just be SEX, not a gift from God. God isn’t fucking gifting me with anything, he’s gifting me with monthly period cramps and hell 12 weeks of the year. My thoughts are not pure, that’s a byproduct of having teenage friends – friends that are perverted boys – at school. There’s no way to stop horny teenagers, ‘kay? The only thing that’s gonna come from sheltering your kids is rebellious sex and STDs. This rule is bullshit.

 8.       You may not take and keep anything that doesn’t belong to you.

This rule may be the only one that makes any fucking sense to me at all. However, I know for a fact that many notorious Christian people don’t follow this rule. THEY WANT GAY PEOPLE KILLED FOR THEIR SEXUALITY, OKAY? Gay people’s lives don’t belong to Christians, yet they’re still taking them through hate crimes. Same goes for the other people that they heartlessly murder and destroy. This rule is bullshit.

 9.       You may not tell lies, especially when that lie will hurt someone else.

This is ridiculous. In my humble Atheist opinion, Christians lie to themselves and others on that one special rest day every week. Honestly, most of the things in this book are gonna be big fat lies and exaggerations, and I’m gonna remember this Commandment as I read it. This rule is bullshit.

 10.   You may not be jealous of what others have. You may not be jealous of your friend’s new toy or clothes or the big house your neighbor lives in. Be satisfied with what you have.

Once again, my friends come to mind. They’re a pretty fucked-up set of individuals and they have every fucking right to be jealous of other stuff, because if God really exists, he dealt them a fucking shitty hand in the Card Game of Life. Also, tell this to the thousands of starving, neglected children around the globe. God could just wave his fucking hand and make our earth bigger and add more food, but no, he’s just gonna sit there and let everyone die. This rule is absolute and utter BULLSHIT!

 That’s all for now! Tune in next time for more Blogging Bible, where I’ll start reading Genesis!