#pumpkinnsoda

[saltburn-bi]

Imagine the insane psychological trip Oliver would go through if he ever had sex with Elspeth without any contraception.

Bro would cum in her and instantly have a stroke

HELLOOOOOOOOOOO

GOD IN HEAVEN

he would. he'd just about die. thats where felix came from. is he desecrating something sacred or anointing it? is it sacrilege or worship?

if they made a kid, how much would it look like felix? would he be able to see him through oliver's features?

and dont get me started on him thinking about well what if he and felix had a kid. what would their features look like together. how beautiful, how perfect, how wonderful would that creature be?

elspeth thinks he's crying because it was good. he doesn't tell her otherwise

[bearbonespdf]

there seems to be a theme amongst my friend group... happy ides of march everypony

@pumpkinnsoda @yourlocalcorvidcryptid

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda

I overuse ellipsis so much it's because of my pensive nature...

[salemsmushroom]

@pumpkinnsoda <3 /p

[astronomical-bagel]

@pumpkinnsoda

a comic/zine about coyotes

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda @yourlocalcorvidcryptid

Just overheard two teenaged boys at the front door of their friend’s house. One was on the phone and gently said, “Oh, did you just wake up?” And the other one yelled “OPEN UP, FUCKNUGGET!” while slamming his hand on the door. I gotta say I love the friendship dynamic

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda

my absolute favorite joke to make is saying "sorry, I got hungry" whenever someone loses something

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda

I just think it’s romantic to be possessive over someone’s death. No one gets to kill you but me. I want to hold you as you die. Your last breath should mingle with mine. I want your blood on my hands because I’m the one that spilled it.

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda @yourlocalcorvidcryptid

love that if you’re depressed and gay you become a poet and this hasnt changed in like 1000 years

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda

Kiss Me Cowboy - 26x32” acrylic on canvas.

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda

how many times did Will fantasize about getting pushed against this ladder for him to have a visceral reaction to Hannibal cornering him like this? slut, whore, harlot.

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda man post^^

my doordash was just delivered by the most profoundly beautiful bear*. his eyes were so kind and his physique was strong and gentle. i will never meet him again, but oh what a blessing it was to meet him.

(note*: "Bear" in this context does not refer to the forest-dwelling mammal belonging to the "Ursus" family, and is instead being used as the LGBT slang for a large, hairy man. i'm clarifying this so none of you dickheads can make the obvious "i thought you meant the animal!" joke and take this moment away from my gorgeous doordasher. this is his moment.)

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda @crackheadgremlin look theyre in loath

I hope they hate each other forever ❤️

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda

I feel like at some point when Damian is in his late teens, someone from batfam or JL, lets say Tim, would say something like "We are not judge, jury and executioner, we get the evidence, and pass it on"

Damian: "That is a great point, it gives me a lot to think about."

Tim: You are being sarcastic, aren't you.

Damian: Oh no, I just realized the fatal flaw of our operation. We do all the work and then pass it on to some incompetent buffoon. Why are we NOT the judge?

Tim: what

Damian: Thanks to you, Drake, I shall pursue the law as my chosen career path, and thus I will ensure the proper follow-up to the cases Batman solves.

And thus begins the story of prosecutor Wayne, and much, much later, judge Wayne, to the joy of his family and friends who were waiting for Damian to understand that 'Batman' is not an occupation... Even if Bruce was a little disappointed, deep inside, that Damian did not pursue art or maybe veterinary studies, because he could have worked in the field that calmed him down a little, instead of choosing the one occupation that would make Damian even BETTER at arguing.

[bearbonespdf]

@pumpkinnsoda

Danny gets adopted by Bruce Wayne au but consider: Danny was brought up in a loving-if absolutely insane- household where pda and mushy gushy stuff wasn't only said, but expected.

The bats almost never voice thier love for one another, instead showing it in a variety of different ways.

What I'm saying is that Danny keeps nearly killing them by saying "I love you." I'm not even joking. Danny has nearly offed the bats more times in his week staying in wayne manor than any Gotham villian would dare try