#puku's random thoughts

[one-last-puku]

Forget dudes right now, I already know my first most pressing goal right now.

Now to figure out how to get these thingies.

[slytherinshua]

IN AN INSTANT

genre. fluff. warnings. none. pairing. daehwi x reader. wc. 722. request. no. a/n. it's 1:27 am (puku puku pow pow) but anyway i wrote this rly randomly and i didn't know who to make the fic abt for a while but i thought daehwi kinda fit :( so first ab6ix fic 🥹

“You know…” You rolled over onto your back, staring up at the dark ceiling of the bedroom, your thoughts racing through your head as sleep continued to evade you. 

“What?” Daehwi’s question came with a long sigh. He was still lying with his back facing you, having to deal with your insomnia disrupting his sleep as well. Not that he minded too much. He didn’t have anything planned for tomorrow, and having you back in his arms this morning after weeks of absence wasn’t quite enough for him to feel sufficiently caught up with you. 

“Just… Have you ever thought about how scary the ocean is?” You completed your original thought with a glance over at his pyjama-ed figure. Your question makes him roll over to face you, and you can just make out his facial features with the limited lighting from nightlight in the room. But instead of answering your questions, he just smiled and let a half-hearted fond chuckle leave his lips.

“I missed your randomness.” He murmured. That’s definitely not the only thing he missed.

Your smile, your laugh, your little inflections in your voice when you started talking about something you were really passionate about; all these things he could capture over video call to an extent, but it was never the same as the real deal. Nothing could ever compare to being face-to-face with you, indulging in your random conversation topics that never failed to make Daehwi ponder things he had never even considered before. Like how old possessions are souvenirs from different times in your life, or whether or not cereal could be counted as a soup.

Like most people, he never realized how much he adored every part of you until you were thousands of miles away from him. As soon as he was back in the same room as you, he was practically mesmerised by everything about you, falling in love with the exact same things that had him smitten three years ago. He barely even took his eyes off of you, too drunk on your presence to be able to even think clearly. 

The excitement from getting back had calmed down by the time you both were getting ready for bed, giggling through your nightly routine and stealing kisses from each other every chance you got like lovesick teenagers. But after you were tucked under the covers together, you had sworn to actually go to sleep, and promised to leave the leftover rush of romance for tomorrow… That was 20 minutes ago.

“You didn’t answer my question.” You pointed out. Daehwi shuffled closer to you until he was easily able to wrap an arm around your waist. 

He hummed in thought, “I think I have…? But I try not to spend too much of my time fearing something that isn’t going to harm me in the current moment.” He reasoned.

“I knew you’d have a practical response to that.” You rolled your eyes fondly and snuggled closer to his chest.

“Why did this even come up?” He asked curiously. 

“On my drive to the airport to pick you up there was this really big billboard sign with the ocean on it. And it just looked so… enormous, you know?” Daehwi nodded along with your thought process, always listening intently to whatever you had to say no matter how forgotten it would be in a few hours.

“And then I thought about how small I was in comparison… Oceans are just so massive, and they could just so easily swallow me and you and everyone on this entire planet in an instant. I mean, scientists have only explored 5% of our oceans. Who knows what’s down there.” 

“You are minuscule in comparison to it, true, but you mean a whole lot more to me than the ocean. And I’d like to think our love is like that… so big it could swallow us in an instant.” Daehwi said with a soft smile, his words dreamy and his body on the verge of sleep as he uttered them. His lips barely brushed the side of your cheek as he spoke, and you sucked in a breath. It was almost impossible to resist moving your head to find his lips and kiss him until you were both breathless. 

Oh, how in love you were with this man…

↳ ab6ix taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @heavenfilm

[kens-puku]

One of the worst things that ever happened to mcl is the straight up exclusion of Louis and François Xavier de Motherlant after HSL ended.

There were so many great opportunities to include them. Even in the wedding episode, ahh wouldn't have been great to have a surprise appearence of François Xavier de Motherlant when you go to pick out rings?? I think it would have! Now all we have for comic relief is Auntie.. (and I love her soo much!) I mean, I get there was (probably) a conflict of character rights with Fançois Xavier de Motherlant and whatnot, but still! and What about Louis??

Then it hit me... One of the biggest reasons I don't like UL and LL and really Beemoov games as much lately is because....

It's not funny anymore. There is a lack of humor, inside jokes, gag characters, and in general there is a lack of fun in the atmosphere. I guess, in my opinion, it kind of mirrors the growth and progression of Beemoov as a company over the years. Beemoov used to be a lot more down to earth and seemed to have a lot more fun, but now everthing is so straight laced and serious.

As a person who naturally exists to create laughter in others, whatever the means, and in general not take most things seriously, this does not fly with me!

Perhaps the fun will come back in a Beemoov renaissance sometime. That would be nice. :3 I mean, there has been some sadistic humor in the past, but I mean, something everyone can enjoy too sometimes, y'know?

[one-last-puku]

My mom is like this with me for like all of it, she's like "there's nothing wrong with you." "Everyone is like this."

Thing is, like most mental illnesses, yes, everyone is like this... -sometimes.

The problem is if it happens so often that it affects your daily functioning. A "dysfunction" or a "disorder" or whatever else.

I grew up thinking these things were normal until I visited other friends and their families, who seemed "too perfect". How in the heck are these people so functional!?

I grew up around people who were always suffering with their own mental illnesses, but they are too stubborn to admit they may need help, probably caused them a lot of self-hatred growing up. They probably were told they're not trying hard enough, got angry with them selves and just tried beyond themselves to do the things they just couldn't do as easily as others, and they expect the same out of you.

I have adhd (I was diagnosed add as a kid), anxiety, depression, ocd, and only god knows what else. At the very least my mom has a lot of the same traits as me even if she's not formally diagnosed with adhd.

I'm adopted. Adhd is an inherited trait. How is it possible I ended up being adopted to a family that also has adhd?

I almost wonder if we are more likely to magnetize to like-minded people, since we'd be a bit more likely to understand and better communicate with one another.

This might be also why we go so long without realizing there could be an issue. I mean, just look at how "cliques" form in high schools and the like. The "geeks", (many times) nerds, "alternative", and "oddball" types usually always run in similar circles and worlds, heck even into adulthood if you manage to get a job in your niche.

The "popular", "jock", etc. types usually just really didn't understand the other. They could get into sports/other extra curriculars and still maintain good grades, make lots of friends, do lots of social things together, go onto sororities/fraternities, get really good jobs, be high achievers, have "normal", "good" lives and raise "nomal", "happy" children.

I live in such a different world from other "normal" people in adulthood, that I often question that they exist, I start believing that maybe everyone really is depressed and has all the same issues as me, but then I go on Facebook and remember I just live a very different lifestyle to the "average", "normal" person.

I just -somehow manage to keep meeting, and keep befriending, and keep attracting other adhd and autistic people. It's always "...are you adhd?" "Oh, yes, how'd you know?"

Humans are flexible, adaptive creatures of habit, we are good at masking and we naturally do what will allow us to survive and if possible thrive. We seek acceptance and understanding, we are tribal creatures. We know, for us, success is most possible with numbers. We grow up being told that if we just try hard enough, we can fit that square peg into the circle hole. Some of us manage to cram that square peg, even if it looks uncomfortable and took waay too long, others spend their whole life trying and failing, while the rest of us with proper help and thinking out of the box may be like "I am a square! Why am I trying to fit in a circle hole? Wtf? I need to focus on getting through the square hole!" "Holy crap! Is it a crime for life to be this easy!?"

Buying groceries online and picking them up curbside is a perfectly valid choice, but my mom always gets onto me for not wanting to get out of my comfort zone. 'You're supposed to be doing things the hard way or you're just being lazy!' Oh to imagine using your time and energy being productive with things that you're actually good at, instead of worrying all day and forcing yourself to do things that will use up your daily limited energy and time. Fuck you grocery store, I'd rather work on my art, craft, and creating my own businesses at home for 12+ hours at a time, then sleep, than to break my focus to worry and procrastinate, and freeze at just the knowledge I gotta go to the damn store and deal with a big overwhelming crowd of people and stimulation. I don't need to waste the time and energy, I can just get someone who was blessed with a paying job to do it for me. As they say, work smart, not hard(er than necessary).(As a disclaimer, I understand this isn't always possible for everyone, but what I'm saying is take advantage of what you can with what you have! Try to think about what you can do and what you're good at.)

Win, win ftw

a child with an undiagnosed mental illness: I think I need help. I struggle with things nobody else seems to be struggling with.

a parent who never got diagnosed for the exact same mental illness: Oh sweetie. EVERYONE struggles with that :)

[ihaveafandom-problem554]

Unfinished Draft

Ok so I feel bad for not posting anything lately.. So I’m giving you something I had in my drafts for a while now that I don’t feel like finishing.

Note that this is old, unfinished and probably unedited...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Characters: Mother Y/n, Rui, spider older sister, Mother Y/n’s son BB(That’s his nickname), Mother Y/n’s Daughter Aiko.

Small background information: 

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“Aww, Rui you’ll finally have some company while I’m gone” you say patting Rui’s head.

He wasn’t smiling like he usually would when you gave him affection. Instead he was frowning.

“Hunny aren’t you happy-” “Mom, school!” Your daughter called. “Get in the car I’ll be there in a sec!” You call back.

“BB is gonna come home early today, so if you want some food just ask him, ok?” He doesn’t answer. He just stares into your soul… Now you known him long enough to read that expression.

He was pissed. And you don’t know why.

You gave him his morning hug, kissed his forehead, did his hair.. Fuck- you even let him sit of your lap when he ate. So why is he so mad?

You didn’t have time to figure out. You had to drop your daughter off at school and go to work. You kissed his head once more and left.

…

“Human affections weird.." 

"WHY are you here?!” Rui demanded at his previous older spider sister. “Well..” She walks over to the couch and admires the color. “After you told me and the rest of the family that we were free and we could leave or keep the house… Everyone had plans and knew where to go.." 

”…And?“ 

"I didn’t. I wanted to stay the house, but I thought it would be unworthy to my younger brother. I do have to protect you-" 

 "I don’t need your protection. You were terrible at it in the first place. This is a family of HUMANS and they are better at protecting me than the old family combined.”

Oni(The older spider sister’s name) huffed and plopped down on the couch. “I’m sorry we weren’t perfect for you, some families has there flaws”

Rui scoffed. “Not this one.” he mumbled, trying to keep a straight face as the memory of you taking him in, crept in. “When are you leaving…”

Oni looked down. Preparing herself for Rui’s next action. “I’m not.”

…

Rui’s head slowly turned. “What.” “I’m not leaving.” “Sorry, I don’t think I’m hearing you correctly..Your what???” His voice sounds like he’s smiling but he isn’t. His face reads very threatening comments.

“I’m not leaving..And you said it yourself.. You have no authority over us anymore.. We are free to make our own decisions a-and I decided I wanted to stay with yo-AHH” Oni Screamed as a flower pot was being thrown in her direction. “RUI WHAT THE HELL!? ISN’T IT LIVING!?" 

"IT’S FAKE!” Rui yelled back, now pissed that he missed. “You aren’t supposed to be here! Your ruining the Family!”

“I just got here!" 

"And your making a mess!" 

"YOU THREW THE POT!" 

"AND I WILL THROW ANOTHER ONE IF YOU DON’T LEAVE!" 

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU I CAN’T!" 

"AND WHY IS THAT!?" 

"BECAUSE I ALREADY TOLD THE MOTHER HUMAN THAT WE WERE SIBLINGS!”

…

Oni ran like her life depended on it. Which in this situation… It did. 

Rui chased her around the house, his threads forming out of rage. When he told his old family that they were free of his control, he was hoping he would never see them again. He didn’t want to see those disappointments anymore. He was living a happier life with humans and he wanted to make every second count. His fury and anger rose at the thought of him now having to share a life with Oni. She would need affection, and when she gets it she’s going to love it and beg for more. Not leaving any for him. Not to mention she will be getting more attention now that she was the new addition to the family. God I knew I should’ve killed them off instead..

Hours passed, and Oni was still running for dear life. “RUI PLEASE SPARE ME! IT WAS ALMOST DAY AND I WASN’T THINKING AT THE TIME AND IT SLIPPED!”

“YOUR JUST MAKING EXCUSES! THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE, I SHOULD’VE JUST KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!” 

Oni thought this was going to be the end of her if it wasn’t for someone opening the door.

“Rui! I’m home! I also got some food… I know your into human meat, but you should really try this- RUI!”

Rui stopped at the sudden mention of his name. Oni, from a distance, stopped too, watch as Rui walked away from her. She sighed in relief and began to slowly followed Rui.

She saw a man- no no, it was a boy, but tall. And he looked a lot like the human mother.. He was tapping his foot and had a couple bags filled with something that, smelled really nice.

“Why is there dirt all over the couch?” He asked. “It was Oni” Rui said, while on his toes trying to see what was in the bag. “Oni? who’s.. Oh hi there! Mom told me about you.” Oni was put at ease at the boy’s presence

Rui rolled his eyes. “She dirty the couch.” “a-ah?! It- It was because-” Rui shot a glare at Oni, shutting her up immediately.

BB let out a sigh. “It’s ok I’ll clean it up- ah Rui give me a second I’ll show you the foods right after I clean the couch-” “I- I’ll clean it!” Oni offered. she was blamed for the mess, of course he would believe Rui, he lived there longer. So why not do someone else’s bidding?

“No-no I’ll clean it-” “NO! Please I made the mess-” “No it’s fine you don’t know the right supplies for this in the first place, go into the kitchen with Rui, I’ll be there in a second.”

Oni tried to argue but failed, now forced to sit in the same room as her brother.

…

Uncomfortable silence fills the room. Rui staring at Oni with a expression that could kill and Oni doing everything she could to distract herself. Oh! what’s that? She thought to herself. There was a picture of the whole family, but without Rui.. It must be a older picture..

But something was off. The picture didn’t fit the whole frame.. and taking a closer look.. There was a hand on the human mother’s shoulder, but neither of which belonged to the human children.

She had to take a closer look. “What are you doing?” Rui asked flatly, but Oni didn’t answer, her only thoughts where on the picture.

Getting closer to the photo, she noticed it was ripped. Oni took a note.

Question 1: was it an accident or was it on purpose?.. The edge looks rigid but it’s perfectly straight. No way that was an accident.

Question 2: Who does the hand belong to?

Oni reached her hand over to grab the frame.

“Don’t touch that.” The voice didn’t sound like Rui’s.. Oni felt someone’s hand lift her hand and led her to the table where Rui was out. She looked up and saw a dead soul looking back at her. “The frame is really fragile.. I don’t want broken glass all over the floor. Mom would be mad..” BB replaces his cold stare with a smile. “o-ok, uh-um what’s in the bag?”

“Just some snacks I thought Rui would like.. But I think he’ll be nice and share..” BB claims, he was wrong but he didn’t need to know that.

“This is Puku-Puku Tai Salt watermelon. I don’t really like this flavor but I think you might like it.” BB explains while handing The Puku-Puku Tai to the two spider looking beings.

Taking a bite at the same time, they both had different reactions. Rui didn’t like the random taste of watermelon with the mix of chocolate, at the same time he didn’t want to be rude. His older brother took the effort to go and buy him some snacks so he can ease his human cravings.. he tried his best to finish the snack, but his pouty expression gave away his true thoughts on the snack.

“Aww, you don’t like it Rui?” BB pouts, patting Rui’s head. Rui puts down the snack and shakes his head. “Aww, it’s ok.. At least Oni likes it.” “What.” Rui asks pissed looking over at Oni who had finished her second Puku Puku Tai, looking in the bag to get another one.

“Wait, I got others to show you”

[candysweetposts]

Ok, so I was tagged by @one-last-puku to do this. Thanks! I never though someone would thing to tag me in anything. I don’t usually respond to these kinda of stuff because nobody reads it. I know for sure.

Nickname: Well, people used to call me Chernobyl because my name sound like that, now it’s just my name, which I hate it, both (yeah I have 2 first names).

Zodiac: Gemini ♊. I’m the only one who loves their zodiac sign? And I guess in the chinese zodiac I’m a dragon. Yeah!

Height: 170~ something cm (It’s been a long time since I measured myself)

Hogwarts house: Ce plm e asta? 

Last thing I googled: let’s see... “Lucifer season 1″. Yeah, I started to watch this today and I have to say, it’s fun.

Song stuck in my head: I think it’s “You are not who I thought you’d be/ This perfect mess a tragedy/ Your vanity it’s blinding you...” and almost the entire Dancing with the devil by Set it Off.

Number of followers: 271. Thanks for pressing that “follow” button or text to be more exact.

Amount of sleep: 5 to 8 hours of sleep (yeah, my internal watch forces me to wake up at 9 am even if I fall asleep at 4 am)

Lucky number: 3 and 7, but more 3 from what I’ve experienced.

Dream job: I guess fashion designer or at least I want to make animated movies (yeah, to high, I know)

Wearing: Pajamas 

Favorite song: I don’t have one. But in general, anything with a deep message or something up-beat. These days I listened to a lot of Set it Off and Starset. I love both so much.

Favorite instrument(s): violin, piano, guitar and... motherfucking tambourine!

Aesthetic: Cute and elegant.

Favorite author: I don’t know what should I include. If it’s only book authors it’s nobody, but if it’s stuff like manga it’s definitely Yana Toboso. Unfortunately I don’t remember other authors names, because I don’t really look up except in this case.

Favorite animal noise: I dunno...cat sounds, especially little kittens sounds.

Random: I hate my life so bad I just...

I’m tagging....umm, my options are limited but here you have it: @impossiblerayanstan, @satansfaery, @sakurina-mcl, @nights-chii, @sugarmilkychan, @melodyalanaroster, @momiyi-chan and anyone who wants to do this...yeah.

[one-last-puku]

I just had a crazy flashback.

I was watching this review like video about Trigun, a frame pops up with Vash, bimbamzoom my mind snapped, suddenly I was 10 years old again thinking to myself... if there's one thing I remember most about Trigun was that I was just... mesmerized by his coat.

My flashback had me remembering how much I just loved that freaking coat, I needed to learn how to draw it. My mind is showing me failing to understand how clothes and form works. Just kinda eyeball copying what I saw. XD I was like that's just the coolest freaking coat and I want it!

I mean... I think I also liked his glasses, but THAT COAT!

My 10 year old ass needed that cool freaking coat, that's one thing for sure.

I've never been the same since.

I should just cosplay him for the mere fact that his outfit is just so much my vibe.

[one-last-puku]

I think the art guy is a secret baddie!

Sorry if spoiler. 😗 Probs it's not tho, lol.

On another note, praise my duckieness!!

[one-last-puku]

Ugh, I'm so nervous... I just published a lot of my works onto my Art Station, finally... but... fanart... I dun know why I'm so hung up on sharing my fanarts professionally... It's not like they were sold.

I just... feel weird when potential employers don't "get it". I get to feeling shy and embarrassed. >__< Legit, they be like "So what's the deal with your art?" and I'm like "uhm."

It's not great, but I gotta show something. That I at least have more skill than what was already on there.

[one-last-puku]

I just finished Hunter x Hunter 1999 episode 1.

What I learned and didn't know about the series before #1:

River King: The Anime

I dunno if this is gonna go right, but I'm gonna watch at least the first episode of 2011 now to decide how I'll proceed. Online recommendations are unhelpfully mixed.

On a different note, I'm already having fun. I've been wanting to try the show for a while and now I'm going to do it!

On another, I'm glad I was surprised it's about fishing. Neat.

[one-last-puku]

You guys really need to start reusing your pickle juice for your favorite veggies. Just saying.

Me, using zesty dill pickle juice and ghost peppers added with purple cabbage, green onions, and cilantro.

Yum~

[one-last-puku]

If you put the work in, your grass can be greener than the other side.

((Me, who figured out how to get the sprinklers to work and now swears their yard is now greener than our neighbors.))

[one-last-puku]

I saw the Quaxly evolution and now I know I gotta name it Miror B.

No.... Miror D. as in duck

[one-last-puku]

Character Puku is becoming too powerful.

I am so proud!! ; v;

[one-last-puku]

They just killed my favorite character. I'm so upset.

I don't wanna play anymore. :'( </3

[one-last-puku]

Cat Logic: If I scratch this carpet enough, I'll dig underneath the door.