#ptsd mha

[spinatch]

girls <3

[xspidershex]

I want to save people

[thesustainedworldatransverse]

I think the reason why I’m so upset wit the end of MHA is that, while it had been building up to the hero students saving their villain, the ending was instead just “if you’re too damaged and traumatised you’re beyond saving and just need to be put out of your misery”. Friend, I’m holding your shoulders and shaking you so please believe me: no one is ever beyond saving. I say this as an abuse survivor who has experienced things that would make most people shit their pants full. Please understand that post-traumatic growth exists. Post-traumatic joy exists. Post-traumatic love exists. Friend, you are not too damaged and you will go on to live a wonderful life.

[hatsunevita]

do you guys think that one day, after the war is over and he’s healed enough, bakugo just realises that fuck. he was dead. he was actually, legitimately dead and if anything had gone wrong he could’ve stayed dead forever.

and once he fully processes this thought he just can’t act casually anymore. cuz he keeps thinking that when they become pro heroes, death will always follow them waiting for them to fuck up. and if he just keeps waiting for god knows what he won’t be able to accomplish everything he wants.

i believe that after that realisation there will begin a whole new world for bkdk because bakugo doesn’t want to waste any time on stupid bickering and fighting anymore. right after he digests that thought he comes to izuku and suggests that they start a hero agency together after graduation because that’s how he wants it to be. because he’s not gonna be late to do what he wants anymore.

[bakudekublogblog]

talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi

[imaginarylungfish]

we don't want izuku to be quirkless in the end blah blah blah, yeah i know. same.... but also, it could be cool.

imagine he still becomes a great hero, but quirkless? he's the first quirkless hero? and maybe that message is not one for mha to tackle, but hear me out:

what if his arc is him wanting so badly to have a quirk, getting one, learning that being a hero is inherent to himself and not attached to his quirk/abilities, giving his quirk up, AND still being a great hero? wouldn't that be awesome?!

i think that type of character trajectory is unique and interesting in and of itself. but i also know my personal experiences in life contribute to why i think it's cool. i became sick and chronically ill in my late-teens/early-twenties. i lost my health. over the past 5 years, i've regained a lot of it, but i'm not 100% better (and most likely will never be). i've had to go through the arduous process of accepting my physical limits through many iterations of functionality yet learning when i was actually being held back by mental limits/fears and how to push past those.

i relate to izuku's character on many levels: wanting so badly to have something i don't, trying so hard despite not having that thing, and getting that thing you wished so badly for seemingly out of the blue (for me, it was a medication that drastically improved my health). i also relate to his self-destructiveness in name of a goal and sense of (sometimes unwanted) martyrdom.

but i was always a little disappointed throughout the series in the fact that izuku's big problem at the beginning was just seemingly resolved by him getting his quirk from all might. does he view his quirkless self as worthy as his OFA self? we don't know. (do i view my sick self as worthy as my "healthy" self? i don't know.)

so, i just think, if izuku loses his quirk, there is more room for growth for him. in other words, he becomes more interesting. and i get it, this is a shonen manga, it's ending soon, and it's supposed to have an inspiring message (i assume). so maybe it ending with him being quirkless is not something that belongs in this category of manga/anime. but if any series can break the mold, isn't it mha?

[kuyenshino]

Aoyama was the only kid in 1-A class who was quirkless like Izuku, and now that Izuku knows about it and can connect with him deeply, Aoyama leaves.

Izuku saved the world but won nothing.

[eosphoria]

quirkless teacher izuku, running out on his class because kacchan got kidnapped again. And just because he's quirkless doesn't mean he's still not fearl and protective of kacchan.

No cuz imagine if Deku found his purpose in teaching, as a way to keep on going even if quirkless. And his selflessness and poor skills to take care of himself kick out even as a teacher. He does not miss a day in school, he'll go with a fever, with leftover pain from his old injuries. He'll be there no matter what because his students need him.

But one day at school he notices people murmuring and shushing when he passed by. He got antsy but he also paid no mind, there's too much to do!!!

Unless he hears one of the last year students say Dynamight's name. Izuku thinks he heard wrong. Maybe it was all might instead of him. And if it was all might, yes he would be worried, but he might just take some fruits and sweets to his hero and that's it.

But izuku's heart sinks, because the reaction of his students is too damn obvious and he seems almost apologetic. What is it. Please someone tell him what happened.

He never was as happy as right now for a "problem child" as aizawa called them, because she was brutally honest and told him that Dynamight has not been seen since his last mission, and the last radio communication they had with him, had clear noises of struggle and pain.

Izuku might not have OFA anymore. But something clearly ignited in him, and he was never this fast. Not even with a quirk. Cuz when he had it, he wasn't able to save katsuki.

Izuku had told his students, about how his journey as a hero started because of his body moving on his own. They had never seen it in person, because back then they were still little. But now classes had been stopped because of a raging green haired teacher running through the hallways to leave without a notice or word of any kind.

He tried calling Dynamight, he tried calling everyone that was on that mission. But dynamight's phone was the only one turned off, instead of beeping and going to voicemail.

He was frantic, unstoppable, until being tied by aizawa who had a mixture of annoyance and nostalgia to see his student, now coworker, acting like this. He thought for a second on how to get through this rabid man who was muttering to let him go, let him go to help him, let him go to...

"what can you even do? Do you have that little faith in him?"

Izuku was breathing so fast that he was breathless, he choked up and only could say no with his head while still trying to get out of aizawas grip.

Aizawa thought that his students couldn't see izuku like that, and he could not let him go home because the idiot would certainly go to find Bakugo so he tied him as tightly as he could and promised him to get in touch with dynamight's team so he could give any update to izuku.

Izuku was spiralling, for various reasons. He still had the memory of katsuki's corpse on the field. He felt lonely without OFA but now he felt helpless.

Where could he be. What is he doing.

Is he not going to be capable of ever helping or saving bakugo?

But aizawa was right, he had to have faith in him. He had to have faith in his hero, in the one who again and again has done amazing stuff and came thru the other end alive, even in the most ridiculous scenarios.

"he'll be fine, he'll be fine, please be fine" the muttering continued for hours.

It was now dark, and aizawa had not returned as he was also busy with his class and izuku's class. Deku was swaying himself, while tied up still, to calm himself a bit and wait for answers.

"where is he?!?" He heard, it was still low but soon enough it was a loud and strong voice that he recognized and made him choke up. Dynamight. "GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY WHERE THE FUCK IS HE." Dynamight was alive. Deku was not believing his ears though, he had to see him.

The students in their dorms were able to hear the screams, and were still very much confused after their teacher went missing for the entire day and now one of the pro heros was making a scene.

Deku tried to move but the hunger and emotional turmoil had gotten him exhausted and now he just wanted to bawl his eyes out.

But he finally saw him, the relief of hearing him had gone away. Dynamight was injured. Seriously injured. Not dead, wonderfully, but his suit was ripped. He was dirty with mud and blood, and had a slight limp to his movements. He had awful dark bags under his crimson eyes, that were still sparkling as they did when he used cluster. "Why were you calling? What the fuck happened and why did old aizawa had to tie you up? Answer me dammit"

What do you mean why was he calling, WHERE HAD HE BEEN. WHY IS HE IN THIS STATE. WHY HAD HE GONE MIA AND WHY COULD NO ONE GIVE HIM A FUCKING ANSWER.

But katsuki was too busy thinking that izuku needed him, and when he found out that this fucking nerd was searching for him, he spent the last bits of his energy in a sudden escapade throwing all their strategy and planning through the window. The villains were thankfully caught, but all of the evidence they needed had been destroyed because Blondie right here had decided to explode everything and anything to come over here.

Seems like they'll keep to misunderstand each other, and of course they didn't talk about this on their way home, as aizawa told them to deal with their fucking mess and leave him alone.

[onesmolbean49]

CW // Blood + Eye Strain

Reliving.

[airforcekitties001]

BKDK PTSD.

[enby-chaos]

writing monoma is so funny i keep giving him so many problems

like girl (@ me), he does not need dyscalculia on top of everything else

[vultureboi]

BkDk Short Story

T/W: non-descriptive nightmares, non-descriptive PTSD

Katsuki usually sleeps a full night, no problem. But for some reason (he’s not naming any names) but a certain someone has been waking him up in the middle of the night.

Which, Katsuki gets it. The nerd is scared. Even though the war is over, Katsuki died for a good amount of time and Izuku found his body. Of course Izuku was traumatized.

He constantly has nightmares about finding Katsuki dead, so at some point, it became routine for Izuku to sneak into Katsuki’s (conveniently unlocked) room while he’s sleeping.

Izuku will “sneak” into his room, crying quietly, curl up into beside him and rest his head on Katsuki’s calm heart. He works hard to keep his heartbeat steady.

Soft sobs escape until they quiet into soft hiccups and eventually quiet breathing. He falls asleep and clings to Katsuki.

When Katsuki’s alarm goes off in the morning, he pretends to slowly wake up, giving Izuku enough time to quickly skitter away, closing the door not so softly. Sometimes he likes to peek and see Izuku’s flushed face as he panics and rushes out the door clumsily.

During the day, Katsuki makes no sign that he knew Izuku was there the night before. He plays it cool. Even if he’s been getting less sleep, he’ll never admit it. Hell, at one point Izuku kept him up so long that he ended up getting dark circles and had to use makeup to hide it.

Though Katsuki will never admit it out loud, he will forever be there for Izuku. Even if it ruins his perfect sleep schedule. He’d do anything for Izuku.

[bengal-tigers-on-petunias]

Og meme by @flashcs5

[usagikis]

I think Eri and Mirio both feel their minds going back to the Shie Hassaikai. They have different memories and different reactions, but one thing they share: The pain of losing it all and never understanding why.

In those days, I think they hold each other. Mirio feels like he's protecting Eri, and Eri feels like she's comforting Mirio. Both are right.

[justatalkingface]

Making Izuku Worse, But BETTER

*walks in* *drops post* *explains nothing* *leaves*

So, a while ago, I made a post talking about how, among (many, many) other things wrong with how Izuku was developed over the story, that his fundamental character was just... slowly and systematically chipped away by Hori, until his unique personality was gone, and all that was left is a shell of a shonen protagonist.

Well. I'm here today to tell you that... fuck. I can do that shit better than Hori did.

Here's my revolutionary idea: lean into it. See, while he's growing in a bad direction, while as a person he's getting worse in a lot of ways, that isn't bad, as, like, character development, or as part of a story.

So. The thing is, while Izuku changes, it's never really... acknowledged in the story. (This is, of course, a different part of his problem, that while he changes throughout the story, by and by large his improvement, how far he's come, and what he's done, is never acknowledged; in fact, he's actively criticized for not doing everything perfectly, because of course.) Because Izuku is, over all, improving, that means he never gets validation for his work... but, flipping it, with this? He never gets it pointed out that he's doing worse.

And it doesn't even need to be a person, is the thing; you can have it never directly told to Izuku, but shown to us, the viewers, in story, and that's fine, as long as it's acknowledged.

So, the first thing I'd do, to make this whole idea work right is... actually spend more time on Izuku's quirks as a character. He's smart, curious, enthusiastic, mildly obsessed with Quirks, and look! Here he has a Quirk. There's no possible way to work with that, right?

Start there. Show, at the very least, one panel scenes of Izuku... geeking out. Experimenting. Being Izuku, basiclly, and scatter them every once and awhile in the story. Maybe have him suggest something to someone else, show that person's improvement under his guidance (and, you know, have Izuku interact with other human beings... as a human being. Yet another problem Hori has with Izuku; as far as we can tell from what we are shown, he is strangers with his entire damn class, even though the story has tried to push the vibe that he is, in fact, friends with all of them. And don't get me started on his mother, who barely even exists...).

It doesn't have to be big, is the thing, or elaborate, it just has to be there, to help firmly establish these characteristics in our minds as readers. And that's important, because that means it'll be noticeable when it stops.

Ideally, I'd think it'd be best to do this post-Kamino, because it's such a big thing that Izuku having a radical change in response makes sense. All Might's gone, the mantle is his now... no pressure, right? And, in the same way the foundational aspects were set up, it can start small: those few scattered panels? They're gone.

*ratchet sound effect*

It's not something pointed out or anything, they're just... gone. Maybe replace them with more training, maybe not, but we don't see Izuku spending his free time being Izuku anymore, and that's it. It stays at that new normal for awhile.

Then the stress kicks up a gear; conveniently, after Kamino we have... *sigh*. I can't believe I'm saying this, but conveniently, we have Sir Nighteye. And the thing is? Sir Nighteye is an asshole; he's perfect for just.... bringing the stress up just an extra notch. And here's where more work has to be put in to sell this idea, not just showing less happy Izuku, but showing more upset Izuku, showing how things are getting to him, not just in the moment, but consistently, even when nothing is actually happening to him at that exact point in time. A scene of Izuku... head in his hands, maybe. Training, and pushing farther than he should, and maybe there's something bleeding. Not a lot, not yet, but the cracks should be showing at this point.

*ratchet sound effect*

For the purposes of this, we'll assume that by and by large the story is happening as usual, so Mirio loses his Quirk, and there's that guilt, hitting Izuku like a truck.

*ratchet sound effect*

Show those stress scenes just a little more now, work in some conversations with Mirio where he acts happy, but the second he walks away everything crashes down on him; you don't even need to have anyone saying anything, just the visual of his smile vanishing in an instant will carry it.

Because if I'm writing this I'd want her to be a character, show Izuku's mom slowly growing worried as they meet (with her actually being more of a character at all before hand; show her growing happier and less burdened as Izuku improves before all of this, only now they see each other less and less, and every time he seems less happy than he was before, grimmer).

After that, just let things bake for awhile; nothing really changes, Izuku is just more miserable, and people are slowly starting to notice that he's acting different now, even if they don't really understand why...

And then Joint Training. Fun fact: canonly, the Vestiges, as introduced to us? Are assholes; which, honestly, isn't that surprising, because just about everyone is an asshole to Izuku! Stress Factor 5975 that is never really acknowledged in story: some asshole yelling at Izuku for instantly failing at his Quirk because he had no idea how to even use it, much less that it was even there, much less that it would happen in the middle of a fucking training exercise.

*ratchet noise*

And then, important moment here, have someone.... All Might, Ochako, whoever, notice that Izuku is getting a new Quirk (...or developing a new facet of his Quirk, or however that was explained to everyone), but he isn't enthusiastic about it. There's no brainstorming, no experimenting... this thing that should have been a source of joy is just.... there. At worst, it is actively causing him stress. And it this obvious difference that is ringing some warning bells in people's minds.

*ratchet noise*

So, all this time, along with all the story points that are supposed to be happening, from Kamino on I've been slowly weaving together a new one: Izuku increasingly barely holding his shit together in the face of his clusterfuck of a life. Then the War Arc kicks in, and that's where the pay off for all this slow build, because here's where everything goes to shit.

War Arc hits Izuku like a train, and leaves him wrecked in the aftermath, absolutely destroyed... which, organically, leads into the Dark Deku arc, only here, we actually do it better.

Here, him going 'rogue', is an organic evolution of various things that have been going on for probably years now, Izuku slowly depriving himself of all things that gave him joy, in favor of training for his Mission, TM, this Grand Purpose that was thrust upon him.

Here, his classmates going to save him makes more sense because we've seen them interact, we've seen their growing concern over how he's been changing.

All of these things happen, and come together for this moment where the story finally admits what it's been dancing around all this time: Izuku is not OK. And at last, finally, starts to actually resolve it.

[shadedbunny]

“Why am I always the god damn victim?”