#psa to stop complaining about free content

[attapullman]

Alright, I need to get this off my chest so that my blood pressure goes down and I can drink my morning coffee.

I have seen so many complaints lately about your favourite writer not posting enough or you don't have enough fics to read or you don't read anyone except the handful of writers you like.

STOP

There is so much content on this site and the writers you're exposed to are really just a tip of an iceberg. Every day I find new fics in my For you from writers I've never heard of. There is an increasing number of fics that have 63 notes and so no one reads them, but they are the most incredible reads. You love that one writer, yes, but have you expanded past the four you looked at before deciding only that writer was worth your time?

My TBR is always insanely long because I'm constantly finding something new. Even if the writing style isn't my particular favourite, the ideas and world building absolutely blows my mind. Longer fics, drabbles, even just responses to asks that show the characters in a way I am enamored with.

Instead of complaining that the exact thing you want to read isn't out yet, take some time to explore. See new ideas and styles you haven't been exposed to. You don't have to love it to not give it a try. If we all only read Jane Austen, we wouldn't get to enjoy millions of other novels that bring us joy.

Off my soap box now, but look outside that circle of curated content. It may not be for you, but at least you gave it a try and stopped complaining about something so insanely trivial.

[adiwriting]

(gif by the lovely @darlingnotso)

PSA: As I’ve stated before, I will be putting money towards the Navajo Nation COVID-19 Relief Fund every time that I post Malex fic. 

********Please don’t reblog*********** 

This is going to be the last Sunday Morning fic for awhile. Leaving it untagged with the hopes that it remains just for my followers and doesn’t attract more harassment. If you want to comment, reply or DM me please instead of reblogging.

Week 16

When the puppies start barking at their usual 6:30am time, Alex instantly regrets all of his life choices. His head is pounding, his leg aches, and his stomach is a mess. It doesn’t help in the slightest that Michael is plastered to his side, hot as hell, and making Alex sweat. 

“Why did we get a dog?” Michael grumbles, nuzzling his nose into Alex’s neck and making him feel even worse. 

“Why did you let us get four?” he asks, pushing at Michael’s body. “And why the hell are you so hot?” 

“‘s cold,” Michael says, throwing his arm over Alex’s stomach. 

Alex pushes him away. “You’re a thousand degrees and I already want to die. Roll over or something.” 

Michael groans and Alex swears he hears him curse under his breath, but he thankfully rolls over and Alex feels like he can breathe a bit as cool air hits his overly heated skin. The relief he feels is only temporary though as his mind then zeroes in on how much his stomach is swirling and twisting. 

The puppies continue to bark. It’s too loud and the sun streaming in through the window is too bright. Everything is just too much right now and Alex needs it to stop. The mattress shifts as Bell jumps up onto the bed, making the world spin and Alex’s stomach does a dangerous tilt. He’s not even sure if he could make it to the bathroom fast enough to throw up if he had to, and so he prays he doesn’t need to. 

Michael loves him, but he doubts Michael would love it if Alex threw up in their bed. 

Bell pushes her head against his shoulder, demanding cuddles. Any other day, Alex would be more than willing to give into her demands. He loves cuddling with Bell in the mornings. But right now, he can’t focus on anything aside from not vomiting. She gives up and moves to do the same to Michael, who lifts his arm up and allows her to crawl on top of him and lay down. 

“Please tell me you’re as hungover as I am,” he complains, closing his eyes against the sun and willing the world to stop. He regrets not springing for blackout curtains when Michael was redoing their bedroom.  

Michael chuckles and it makes the bed shake, causing Alex to groan. “No, but I had about five beers and six shots less than you did,” he says. 

Alex cracks his eyes open just enough to give him a doubtful look. 

“Hey, I’m not the town drunk everyone thinks I am,” Michael protests. “And somebody had to make sure that everyone got home okay. Liz and Max were a mess. Only one of you guys who held their liquor with any dignity was Maria.” 

That’s probably fair. Alex doesn’t remember a lot of last night after the first two hours. Isobel had challenged him to a drinking game that he outright refused to lose on principle. But even the first two hours, he could tell that it was going to be one of those nights. He can’t blame his friends. It’s been a long few weeks of one alien drama after another but yesterday had been a surprisingly drama free Halloween night for them and they’d all just let loose. What he can remember of Michael though, is that he’d taken things slow most of the night, taking on the role of caretaker for everyone. 

“You had fun though, right?” he asks, worried that Michael had perhaps seen it as his duty to take care of everyone else instead of partaking in the fun himself. Part of the argument for having the party at their place was so that they could both enjoy the party rather than having to worry about getting home or taking care of the dogs. 

“Yeah, it was nice,” Michael says with a smile, running his hands over Bell, who looks perfectly content. Alex is jealous. He knows that there are few places more comfortable than Michael’s chest, but right now the thought of being anywhere near the furnace that is Michael sounds awful. 

“Don’t tell Isobel I said that,” Michael adds. “I already told her we are not having Thanksgiving here under any circumstance… Which probably means I should start working on making that table I’ve been wanting to build for out back, because I’m pretty sure my protest means that we’re having Thanksgiving here.”

Alex laughs before it causes his head to pound even more and whines. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.” 

“I bet,” he says. “I’m not sure why you thought you could out drink my sister. On her lightest days she polishes off two bottles of wine a night.” 

“Because she gets annoying and smug when she wins and I refuse to put up with it,” Alex says and Michael just laughs. “Is Bell still wearing her wings?” 

Michael runs his hands over the fairy wings that Bell had worn yesterday as part of her Tinkerbell costume. They’d dressed all the dogs up in Peter Pan costumes to match their namesakes. It had been adorable, if Alex does say so himself.

“She didn’t want to take them off,” Michael says with a shrug. 

“Oh yeah? She tell you that herself?” he teases. 

“As a matter of fact, I tried to take them off last night and she whined and moved away, so yes she did,” Michael says. “And the puppies were asleep when I came back inside so I left their costumes on as well.” 

Alex reaches over tentatively, careful not to move too much of his body so that he doesn’t reignite the nausea, and pets Bell. “She does make a really cute fairy.” 

“Of course she does. She’s the most beautiful fairy in the world,” he agrees, lifting his head to kiss Bell’s nose. She licks his face in return. Michael turns to look at him, “Look at what Rosa taught her yesterday when they were both hiding out in here.” Michael looks back at Bell and says, “I do believe in fairies.” 

Bell howls twice as if to say, ‘I do, I do.’ 

Alex smiles, holding back his laugh for fear of making his stomach twist even more. Bell’s howl causes the puppies to go crazy from their spot in the kitchen though and suddenly everything is far less cute. Alex’s head pounds and he’s back to hating the world and wanting to curl up and die. 

“I guess I should go walk them since you’re clearly useless today,” Michael says. 

Alex throws his arm over his eyes and doesn’t bother arguing. 

He hears Bell protest before the bed shifts again, making Alex suck in a breath as he fights against his body’s urge to hurl. “Why don’t you try and shower? I’ll bring you breakfast in bed when I get back from walking them.” 

“Can we spend the entire day in bed?” Alex asks, hopefully. 

“I’ll even let you pick the movies we watch today,” he promises, placing a kiss to Alex’s forehead. 

“You smell like a distillery,” Michael says. 

Alex has a flash of Isobel breaking out a bottle of whiskey as they played Two Truths and a Lie with Maria. He’s sure that he’s got liquor coming out of his pores at this point. He doesn’t even remember the last time he drank this much. Perhaps the one time he’d gotten plastered before shipping off to Iraq the last time? The time they’d gotten into that nasty fight over Alex’s decision not to tell Michael he was being deployed again. Michael had had to hear it from Maria and had been none too pleased. 

Michael flips on the light and Alex whines. “I regret all of my life choices.” 

“Surely not all of them,” he teases. 

“Why didn’t you stop me last night?” Alex asks. 

Michael snorts. “Oh, I tried. Several times. You told me that you were a grown ass man who didn’t need a babysitter.” 

Alex grimaces, he doesn’t remember saying that, but he’s sure he probably did. “Sorry.” 

“You’re fine,” he says. “Max was way worse and far less cute while telling me to back off. You’re good.”

“It doesn’t sound like you had a good night,” Alex says, pushing Michael despite his earlier words, wanting to make sure that he truly did enjoy himself and wasn’t miserable.

“I promise, I enjoyed myself,” he says. “Rosa and I had a nice long talk. She’s gonna start working at the junkyard for me. I wouldn’t mind having somebody help run the office side of things. She loves her dad but needs some independence.” 

“That’s understandable,” Alex says. 

“Yeah, then Liz and I nerded out over science before Max stole her away. Kyle, Maria, and I played poker and I won $150. And I ended up watching Hocus Pocus for the first time and making cookies with Rosa once everyone got too shitfaced to form coherent sentences.” 

“You’ve never seen Hocus Pocus?” Alex asks, shocked. 

“Okay, first of all, why does everyone react like that when I say that? I watched it last night with Rosa and it was cute but it does not deserve that reaction out of people,” he says, grumpily. “And second of all, you know that I didn’t have any of that shit growing up.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Alex says, kicking himself for always doing that. Always reacting to experiences Michael says he didn’t have growing up with shock. Alex knows better. He himself grew up in a home void of normal childhood experiences. But he had the Ortechos and the DeLucas to help give him happy holiday memories. He always assumes that Michael had that in the Evans family, but he’s regularly proven wrong. 

“Hey, listen, go walk the dogs,” Alex says. “I’ll hop in the shower. After breakfast we can watch all the holiday movies you never got to see growing up.” 

“Can we start with Home Alone?” he asks, that light, happy tone back in his voice. 

“Of course, followed up by A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving,” Alex promises. 

Forty-Five minutes later, the entire family is piled in their bed, warm and comfortable. Alex is slowly eating the pancakes that Michael prepared him, keeping his plate away from Peter’s thieving paws as best he can. His stomach is starting to settle and his headache is muted thanks to the ibuprofen that Michael left for him before he took the dogs on their walk. Home Alone is playing on the TV screen and Michael is curled up with a sleeping Bell and John, smiling soft and content. 

And right here, in this exact moment? Life feels utterly perfect.

[lumi-klovstad-games]

PSA: respect your game’s Modding community!

I never really understand why folks (and it seems to predominantly happen on Nexus Mods) kind of throw tantrums when they don't get the game mods they want. Like, modders pump out amazing content, much of very professional quality, that takes real work usually for free that would take the rest of us YEARS to learn how to pull off with a similar level of skill. 

That's like being given free tickets by Christopher Eccleston to the red carpet premiere of his latest movie of... let’s say MacBeth, and then griping to him after the show that you were annoyed that he did "some Shakespeare play" and not more Doctor Who.

I think the only mod that I didn't get that ever elicited an emotional reaction of any sort from me because I didn't get it was when Covadonga's World War weapon pack for Fallout 4 (I was CRAZY looking forward to it) sailed past every single projected deadline and just kind of faded into the aether with a gradual but consistent end to status updates instead of releasing.

Even then I did my best not to be an entitled monkey about it and moved on; barring this example, obviously. It's the one mod project where I genuinely wondered what the hell happened; that's mostly because for the longest time it seemed like it was almost done and status updates by Cova always were worded such that it sounded like the launch would finally happen in the next month or so... for nearly a year. From what I understand, real life intervened but the cancellation was never formally announced -- and that's the part that really bit me: not knowing. Even so, I didn’t cyberstalk Cova, I didn’t barrage the people who were helping him with his project with questions and queries. I was majorly disappointed, but I shrugged and moved on. 

As far as I can figure, most people are like this. It’s just that the ones who AREN’T are very, VERY vocal and that can hurt the community at large by distorting a modder’s perception of said community. A lot of modders who now come across to me as “rude” in the comments? They didn’t start that way. They usually were heckled to that point by people complaining about things they don’t like and/or nitpicking their work (there is a fine line between “details-oriented constructive criticism” and “nitpicking” that, though difficult, every person who uses mods has an obligation to master to the best of their ability) for perceived inaccuracies. Honestly, if I faced that kind of prolonged heckling, I would probably beat someone or stop showing up. I’d go way beyond “rude sarcasm”, so props to those modders for their restraint.

As long as modders are honest about how + why a project isn't happening or can't be finished (and that even includes "I just don't have the energy/passion/drive to do it"), I think those of us who merely consume what they create have no right to be picky and instead every obligation to be understanding. You don't have to like bad news -- just respect the bearer.

Respect your modders.

P.S: If you’re one of those types who wants your Fallout game to have gun mods that are as realistic as possible down to the serial markings on the gun and intricately modeled inner components that you’ll never even see with realistic damage, ballistic performance, spread, etc., just go play Escape From Tarkov. To quote Viva La Dirt League, “it’s gonna feel like getting punched in the dick”, but it was 100% made with your nitpicking and quibbling in mind. Leave the modders alone.

[hardyimagines]

Foreign

Drabble!

———————————————————————

“Not how you do it, pet.” Alfie grumbled out beneath his breath. His sudden words made your ears twitch before you craned your neck around to eye him. He was sat at the sturdy, wooden desk in the center of the room. You were stood in front of the tall bookcase, dusting the spine of his various books, stacked high above your head. Unbeknownst to you, your boss was watching your every move out of his peripheral. The glasses on his face had slid down the bridge of his nose and were now, no doubt, agitating him. He kept wrinkling his nose and scrunching his brows together, as if the constant movements would magically nudge the glasses back up and into their rightful place.

Without saying anything, you merely cocked a brow and resumed your task. The rag in your hand was coated in dust, filthy pieces, wads that were very visible as they fell from the vanity and floated to the floor to join the sticky contents that was spilled alcohol. There was a lengthy moment of silence before you spoke up. Alfie assumed you were pondering a comeback.

“Mr. Solomons,” a lengthy, drawn out silence followed, one that lured him in so that you were sure you had his attention. “If you’re so picky about the way your books are cleaned, why don’t you clean them yourself.” The twitch of your brows and curl of your lips made him feel as if you were mocking him. Silently teasing him in a ‘you don’t know what you’re doing either sort of way.’ He almost smirked visibly at the thought. He’d taken care of the novels for years and he didn’t plan on letting them waste away now.

The leather seat he was perched on moaned out as his weight was lifted up and off of the thing. He nudged it lightly to the side, palm falling to his trousers so he could lazily pick at the fabric and pull it off of his skin. The room was hot so the fabric he wore was clinging to him like a wet rag. Ruffling his brown locks, sweaty and a bit messy from the hat he’d worn all day, he stepped up behind you. His arm was longer than yours. His legs were the same. He stood taller than you, capable of reaching the high places that were too far for you. You’d had intentions to use a step-stool, but clearly your height wasn’t what he was complaining about.

The space was small. The book case was wedged in between two walls, a perfect fit for the costly piece. Alfie gripped your wrist, fingers still clamped around the rag you’d been using to flick at the dust. His chest, broad and tight, pressed against your back in the slightest, warm breaths tickling the side of your neck as he spoke.

“Right, pet, i, yeah, have got more important fucking matters to tend to, haven’t I? Yeah, I do, right, so you, yeah, you’re gonna have to learn how to do this fucking properly, ain’t ya?” His words seemed to blend together when he spoke. Your ears constantly twitched and burned as you strained to catch every word, because of his thick cockney accent. His fingertips were rough to the touch as they grazed your warm, soft flesh. He adjusted the way that you held the rag. Instead of balling it up in your fist, he angled it to where the cloth circled your fingers instead of vice verse. “Up and down, yeah, along the spines.” His voice seemed so much huskier when he spoke quietly. His hips accidentally brushed against your own, delicate touches as he showed you how it was done. “Not side to side, pet, right, that just smears the mites.” Focusing on his words was impossible to do. His voice, low in your ear, mixed with the tingles and goosebumps on your skin caused from his hot breaths, and his hand enclosed around you wrist, guiding your arm as his front brushed against your back made it entirely too difficult to concentrate.

It was thrilling to say the least. Alfie Solomons was a very attractive man. Gentleman was pushing it. Kind, protective, possessive, defensive. He’d hold a door open for you, but he’s not the type of man a mother would swoon over. You had it bad for Alfie anyway. No approval was needed. No conversations or inquiries with family members for their opinion because he was older and it was just a clear assumption that nothing would progress between the two of you.

Eye-sex, brief little touches, a skim of the fingers, a brush of your chest against his back when you hunched over him to point at the papers on his desk — that was all fine. All innocent. Too impossible to tell if it was just simple or something more. It just left unanswered questions.

But Alfie, chest grazing your back and hips rubbing against yours each time he leaned in to get a better, firmer wipe on the books, made your eyes flutter and your heart thump noisily. You were sure he could hear it. It was involuntary as you swallowed thickly. Your lengthy lashed fluttered closed and the room tripled in temperature within seconds. Your hips pushed backwards as you simultaneously took over cleaning the books. “Like that?” Your voice held entirely too much seduction.

Alfie, with no expectations of what you’d just done, let his hand fall away from your wrist, but only so he could cradle your hip. Neither of you expected the slight — but very noticeable movement, but neither of you said anything about it either. Alfie drew his bottom lip in and lazily suckled on the pink flesh before he slowly moved his gaze back to the books. He could see your hand shaking. The twitch of your fingers. He bit his cheek before pushing his hips, just as firmly as you had, back into your own. Your hipbones pressed against the vanity, sharp against your tender flesh, but too good to be true and too good to stop. Your free hand fell to the desk, steadying yourself, as the other tried lazily to skim the covers. It was so pointless. Every time he moved. Every time he breathed. You crumbled more and more. “Just like that, pet.” Before you knew it, his palm lifted to the center of your back and without warning, he pushed you down so that you were laid on it, flat, belly pressed against the wood and head turned to the side so your warm cheek could cool, pressed just as firmly against the surface.

He watched you daily as you did your duties. Scrutinizing, silently correcting, pleading with you to notice what you were doing was wrong. And yet, you never did. He inhaled deeply, lengthily, eyes squinted and features hardened as he stared down at your arched back. Another part of him hardened as well, especially as you innocently wiggled in front of him, ass rubbing his crotch with every little twitch of your hips. There was no question about what was to come. He wouldn’t have shoved you, face-first, down on the table unless he had intentions of having his way with you.

And as you felt those fingers, those hot fingers clad in cold jewelry, slip inside the back of your dress, you knew he was about to do just that. The dress you wore was rolled up swiftly, far too easy. He fisted his hand in the material and held it around your waist, squeezing it roughly in order to prevent himself from doing it to you and leaving a bruise. All this time.

Watching. Waiting. Waiting. Watching. Wandering. Examining. He’d paid such close attention to you and you were oblivious. The sound of his belt, leather scraping cloth, filled the room before the thing thudded to the floor. You sealed your eyes shut and adjusted your body on the table before moaning out your response. “Mr. Solomons.” The professional means to address him made him harden further. He loved the control. “Mr. Solomons.. I need this.”

Alfie’s free hand ran along your leg before up to your hip. He tugged your naked hips backwards and rubbed his clothed crotch against your bare one, eyes fluttering. The sensation was so nice. You moaned out pleadingly, so desperate for him. “I need this too, yeah, I fucking do..” His eyes fluttered. “You’d best brace yourself, yeah, it’s been a while for me, innit?” Your arms opened before extending across the table so you could grip the back of the bookcase. Clutching on to it, you let your eyes slide shut.

“Don’t hold back.” Your plea was clear. “I can take it, Alfie.”

And take it you did. Like a champ. Hips were no doubt bruised, lower back surely sore. Your mouth was swollen from his sloppy, but the blame was on the position, eager kisses and your eyes hadn’t stopped watering since your orgasm — Alfie Solomons knew exactly what he was doing.

———————————————————————

PSA: IM HALF ASLEEPX, WROTE THIS IN 10-15 MINUTES AND JUST HAD THE IDEA SO I JOTTED IT DOWN ): HOPE YOU ENJOY IT❤️

Tagged: @peakblogbecauseimweak @bsotstory @mollybegger-blog @morphoportis @ghost-of-student-sufferings @drippydownes2002 @ellar21 @sovereigngoth @willowick13 @xxxxxeroxxxxx @wheresthewater @anrm1 @pansexualginger @marvelgirl7 @evilspretty-dead @heyitscam99 @wow-he-cute @haroldpain @justrepostandlove @sparklyreaderx @emerald-bijou @multireality @innerpaperexpertcloud @giftofdreams @ihclipse @meer0rauschen @inkedfandom @thatsamegirl @doct0rstrange @jakechillenhaal @shanty-lol @centerhabit @clevertheoristpainter @jamierdr @favouritereadings @badmaax @thephuonganh @wewillfindourwaythere @uhhhemilyrose @scarrasco1325 @matoki-darkpanda @bignastyfan-nz

[mxnark]

CONVEX - ADORE U - COVER

5000 mina

Recommended for you! 

it's been a rough couple of days since she had gotten the notification.

since then, there have been other updates from other colleges about her applications to them. some were yes, few were no's, but she only cared about the one waitlisted since she knew her parents would be the one to care about it the most about that school. after all, it was the best in the country. even if she didn't have much opinion on it, she wanted to at least get accepted from the school as a way to let her parents know she's good on her own. if she lets them know of her acceptance, maybe her mother would stop being so overbearing. whether or not that was possible, she wants to convince herself that she'll at least get less pressure if she showed that she was good enough somehow.

as she reads articles for an answer on what to do in this situation, she sees the common psa that every article says. being waitlisted does not mean no. do not give up all hope yet. it was easier said than done, not to mention it didn't exactly mean a yes either and that's what they care about in the end. she doesn't even bother trying to stare at the status after she got it. she's afraid to be reminded of her own failure, nor does she want to reflect on her own faults that led to this decision.

she didn't think she was bad at hiding emotions because her parents had never pointed it out. however, she was clearly not doing as well as she would since chohee, one of her friends, pulls her out of their literature class when she was busy thinking about the whole situation again. the both of them arrive at the bathroom, making sure no one was in there but the both of them.

"what's up with you?" chohee asks her. "you don't look seem like yourself."

mina frowns at the accusation. "what do you mean?"

"you're usually more excited during this class," she explains herself. "you didn't even say your response to the prompt allowed. you always do that."

"i'm just," she sighs, "tired. i'm tired."

she tilts her head. "what do you mean by tired? did you get enough sleep or-"

"i don't know!" she answers abruptly. "i didn't get much sleep, but there's also a lot going on in my head, okay? i'm just tired of everything happening to me."

there's a short silence that follows after she speaks. "do you want to talk about it?" she asks.

no point in hiding it from her since they were practically taking some minutes away from class because of it. "snu waitlisted me."

"that's not a big deal," chohee replies immediately, making mina frustrated. "being waitlisted doesn't mean that they don't want you."

"but it doesn't mean i'm guaranteed to be there, either!" she argues. "being waitlisted means that i'm not guaranteed a spot unless someone ends up falling out of it. it means that i'm not a priority." she looks down at the ground, the frustration of the situation making her more upset than it should. she didn't want to look up at her friend while she was crying. it would make her feel immature. "that i'm not good enough." she whispers.

"well, kang mina's not the best at everything, is she?" she asks. "you don't have to the picture-perfect student in order to get a spot there."

"then why do i have to wait to get it?" she asks, still looking away from the girl in front of her.

"because shit like this takes time, mina and you need to remind yourself that." she has a point, but it's not something that makes mina feel better. "all you can do now is wait for them to say what will happen next."

mina decides not to respond to that, afraid that if she says one more word, she'll probably bawl her eyes out. she didn't want to show a moment of vulnerability to a friend who has only seen her as the tough girl she comes off to be. she wants to say 'my parents will make me feel like shit for this.' 'how long will i have to wait until i get an answer that i want?' 'what will i do with my life knowing that my mom will never leave me alone because i'm not the bare minimum of who she wants me to be?'

chohee must have noticed this because she continues to talk. "if it makes you feel any better, i don't know exactly where i'm going either."

it doesn't do anything big, but it does catch mina's attention.

"i've only sent a few applications and more of them were rejections than they were at least waitlisted," she continues. "not to mention, i only applied to those schools because my dad told me i should. i was actually thinking of taking a gap year in order to make more money for even just community college."

it takes away the urge to cry, but she still doesn't feel like looking up at her. not yet.

"but i also want to take that one year to learn more about myself, you know?" she says with optimism, something mina thought was admirable. "i don't exactly know what i want to do with my life yet and i want to be able to get some time to actually think about what i want to do rather than write papers about some random thing at the top of my head, you know? and i know two guys from the theatre department that are taking a gap year to focus more on theatre. probably to add experience or more service hours. but either way, it's more added time to help you figure everything out."

mina looks up finally, feeling a bit calmer to talk to the other now. "are you telling me i should think about taking a gap year?"

she shakes her head. "it's a suggestion," she corrects her. "i know your mom is super strict since you basically talk about her as if she was a witch." that earns a snort from mina. "but, even so, you'll legally be an adult by the time it's decision day and it's ultimately your life in the end, not hers."

she shrugs. "i mean, i guess." she's already aware of the fact, as shown through her arguments with her mother about how the latter always bothers her about her future. it's the fact that it won't be easy to convince her about that decision since she'll be lucky if she's left with just an argument and a "go to your room!" and after not so recent events, she's not even sure if she wants to unleash her mother's full wrath. she's already experienced 100%, but she doesn't want to face her mother's rage being over 9000.

"i'll think about it," mina decides finally. "but thank you for talking to me."

chohee smiles and pulls her friend into a hug. "anytime. it's all up to you, though. remember that."

there's an obvious fake smile on her face when they pull back. "don't remind me."

the both of them laugh and mutually agree to head back to class. when they arrive back at the classroom, they see that the majority of them are just on their phones if not talking to the teacher about something. they both walk back to their seats and chohee's the one to ask what's going on.

the one person in their table group but not friend group answers that question. "one of us complained that she was teaching us too much for the day, so she decided to chill out and give us all a break."

mina couldn't believe what she was hearing. "no offense, but that sounds really stupid."

"hey, if it's free time, i'm not complaining," gaon, one of the girls in her friend group, responds to that, earning a nod of agreement from chohee.

there was no use in complaining about it because it does sound like a luxury. mina quickly takes out her phone and earbuds to distract herself with her favorite hobby: watching multiple videos on youtube. she would go to twitter, but she doesn't really have that much to talk about that will be entertaining to her mutuals. she'd go on instagram, but she didn't want to be bombarded with reminders about how everyone else in the school has gotten accepted into a university when she has not (regardless if it's on her rinsta or finsta, she knows she'll see at least one post about it if not on someone's story). plus, if it's youtube, who knows where she'll find herself?

she looks through her subscriptions to see a few new videos. however, one that definitely caught her eye was a new video from one of her favorite dancers. however, what interested her more was that it was a dance cover. when she clicks on it to watch the video, she had a lot of thoughts on her mind. 1. this dance is super basic and she didn't understand the multitude of comments saying "OMG QUEEN YOU'RE SO FAST 😱😱😱😱" , "YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE A MEMBER OF THIS GROUP SINCE YOU POST VIDEOS AT SONIC SPEED OMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!", and other ridiculous comments coming from an audience of middle schoolers or younger; 2. it reminded her of the fact that it's been a while since she actually got around to learning a new dance and actually performing it for a group of people and that fact alone made mina think more than she should. she thought a lot about how back in the day, she always made attempts of making cover videos, only to feel discouraged because she had a hunch that no one was going to notice it in the end anyway. but, to be fair, that was during a time where she had no friends and a lower self-esteem and she likes to think that she's somewhat improved a little more since then, thanks to the support of her friends.

all of a sudden, she gets an idea and she quickly taps on gaon's desk to get her attention from her game. gaon pauses the game and looks up at mina curiously. "you have a gym membership, right?"

"...yes," she answers with slightly squinted eyes, her voice sounding as if she was getting suspicious of her friend. "why?"

"i have a plan and i need to tell you and the rest of the group during lunchtime, but it involves going to the gym afterwards."

"are you finally thinking of working out as a hobby?"

that catches her off track. "wh- no. i'll tell you more about it later."

gaon shrugs. "alright. since it's friday."

mina smiles. "thank you, queen."

"no problem, weirdo," she answers before she gets back to playing her game.

mina expected her friends to think it was a good idea to start posting content on her own youtube channel. she's lucky that she has yet to post anything on there yet, as she mainly uses the website to watch her favorites.

"i need a distraction to get my mind off of the stress in my life," was her reason. though she was sure they would be up for the idea even if she didn't have a valid one.

"i think we all need a distraction to get our mind off of the stress in our lives," daeun says, gaining everyone's laughter as a response.

truth be told, this idea has been in the back of her head for a while now. she's thought about it since she moved back to korea. but due to the lack of friends at the time, she only thought of it as a thing to think about often. but the older she gets, the more she considers the option. but it was during lunchtime where she was making a channel layout with her friends that she decided she was going to do it.

so she stands in an empty gym studio that her rich friend gaon asked to borrow for the occasion, the rest of her friends either behind the dslr camera or to the sides where they were not seen on the monitor.

"i'm shocked you're learned this choreo despite all the workload we've had," daeun comments. "not that i'm complaining though since it's convex."

"why this song anyway?" gaon asks.

"the more recent the song, the more attention it gets," mina answers. "plus it's cute. it sounds really fun."

"fair," gaon nods.

mina looks over at chohee who stands at the side with a phone and portable speaker in her hands. she shows fives fingers before an okay symbol to check if the other was ready. when she gets a thumbs up, she goes into position by walking to the little bit of tape on the ground that she freshly placed, crosses her arms, and looks down from the camera.

"one, two, three," gaon clicks on the record button. she looks over at chohee, continuing the countdown by mouthing the next three numbers. "four, five, six." at six, the music plays.

one of the best things about living in a strict house is how when she's home alone, she's able to lipsync to her favorite songs to herself because if she goes any louder, she knows her mother will basically lecture her until mina's ears fall off. having had this song play constantly on repeat thanks to gaon, she was able to get some of the words in her head since she was not shy to singing at the top of her lungs in her car. so she lipsyncs them to the best of her ability. even if she messed up, it wasn't like the people were going to point it out. she's going to be a dance channel, not a lipsync one.

the dance comes to her naturally. though she uses the little reminders in her brain for certain parts of the song, she's able to do the rest with muscle memory thanks to her practicing whenever her parents were out. when she was learning it before she got the notification, she only thought about showing it to her friends. but with this? it was like gracefully patting two birds on the head with one stone (she does not condone animal violence at all). there's a smile on her face when she does the moves and it's not only for show since the song is about love and the group members had smiles on their faces when doing this dance. it's been a few months since she's had an audience to perform for, even if this one was a bit smaller than it was in the past (half the school to be exact since she'd only perform for school performances). but no matter the people, it just felt relieving to be able to dance again after weeks of stress breakdowns over upcoming assignments she procrastinated on, tests she barely studied for, or recommendation letters that have yet to be sent by her teachers. she was able to relax, even if she wanted this dance to be perfect.

the chorus finally hits and that's perhaps her favorite part of the song and choreography overall. when she jumps off the ground, she imagines herself like mario hitting a question block with the top of his head while simultaneously pushing away a paragoomba, even if that's never happened in the classic games before and she isn't throwing her hat at one. nonethless, her imagination is key when it comes to this dance. she taps her chest to match the consonants of "내 말-" before bringing her arms above her head to hit each other at "-은", kicking out her left leg as she does so. and when she goes down on both feet for a second before standing straight to continue the dance? she'd be lying if she said she didn't find that absolutely satisfyingly cool. whoever choreographed this deserves her highest praises.

she ignores the little giggles from her friends when there comes parts where simply just stands, such as at the beginning of the rap bit in the bridge. there's no reason to why she does it besides the fact that she didn't really choose one member to focus on for the choreo. it was just a bunch of them really. if they were in the center, she was most likely going to follow along with their moves.

when the song reaches its end and she bends down on one knee to mark it, she pants as she waits for gaon to click on the record button. when she does, she falls to the ground in relief and her friends begin to cheer for her before they all collectively each take off one of their shoes and throw it at her, making her squeal in response. as she covers her head and laughs along with them, she quickly stands up and walks to the camera, clicking on the gallery button to see the footage. however, the longer she looks at it, the more she cringes.

"can we do that again?" she asks, disappointment and exhaustion in her voice. everyone collectively groans, but they comply because they understand that she wants to make a good first impression on the internet.

she's never really understood the struggle with video editors until now. before this, she would only use imovie for group projects with her friends and even then, she was doing the bare minimum with what was given to her. but considering that this was going to be a normal thing for her, she'll have to learn to do it more often.

inserting the sd card onto her macbook, she looks at all the six takes of her doing the dance, half of them being less than the whole song due to her making small mistakes halfway during the choreography that frustrated her to the point she groaned about it before giving up and wanting to restart the whole thing. it was an exhausting process, but she knows that she'll have to get used to it in the end. unlike school performances, she doesn't have time to perfect the dance until she finally records it. and while her impatience makes it difficult for her to accept it, she'll have to take it as an opportunity to learn how to be more tolerant of this.

the sixth take is probably her favorite though since it was the latest and best version, as it was the result of her sharpening her moves and preventing herself from forgetting what to do at certain parts of the choreography. when she imports the clip onto the project, she takes the audio of "adore u" next and she actually bought it with her own money instead of using a youtube mp3 converter site. that's a mina point for being a decent human being!

now was the harder part: syncing the song with clip. truth be told, she's never actually done this part before, but she was told by a senior last year that if she were to ever consider making cover videos on instagram (ha!), she'd probably have difficulty syncing the video with the audio on a phone editor. she supposes she's lucky in this case since this is on desktop, but she doesn't know if that will make this process any easier for her.

with a pair of headphones and a lot of determination, she gets to work, shortening the take a little at the beginning to make sure that it would make the job of syncing it easier, she drags the audio file below the video and clicks play to hear how it sounds, only to be greeted with the sound of echoing. when she hears it for the first time, she frowns and clicks stop after hearing a good three seconds of it. she quickly zooms into the project to try and see if she can spot the same waveforms and match them up together. it doesn't take long until she plays the audio again and hears a slight little echo. this was beginning to get a little frustrating so she tries to move it up one more time and thankfully, she managed to do it.

however, despite the good (not great, but it's not too bad) lighting of the gym studio, she still feels like the video looked a little bland. it didn't help with the fact that she was working with probably one of the most basic video editors. she should be at least a little grateful that she even has a video editor and that it's not as bad as movie maker, otherwise she'd have to suffer from cringy nostalgia from the fonts. but when she goes through the filters and sees how they look with the video, she realizes that she doesn't... really have anything but what she's already put down already.

it's nothing to worry about though since being upset about it wasn't really going to lead her anywhere. all she can do is take a good screenshot of her first position and make it the cover photo with photoshop and hope that it'll at least get someone's attention on the website. after taking the screenshot, she mutes the video to only get the music as the audio for the whole thing.

it's done! and it didn't take that long either! relieved with how simple it was (for now), she clicks on the button on the export button and clicks on the export button immediately, not even bothering to give a creative name for the file because it's the least of her worries for now. as she waits for it to export, she goes on twitter to look at what's going on with her mutuals and favorite celebrities. liking reality show clips and quoting some with a keyboard smash because she apparently thinks they are so funny despite the straight face she keeps while watching it.

when the imovie notification appears in the corner, she quickly looks at it excitedly only to see an upsetting message.

exporting "my movie" has failed.

"bullshit!" she whispers to herself, going back on the editor and attempting to export it again to see if it will show anything else. she goes back on the internet shortly after, continuing to go through her timeline when the message pops up again!

at this point, she's going to pull out her hair! she goes to the finder app and selects a bunch of random pictures she saved from twitter and puts them in the trash, majority of them being images of her biases so she won't deny that it hurts her a little. after she empties the "apple trashcan", she goes back to export it for the third time and rather than going back on twitter, she stays on the app so she can watch the progress circle load and finally get her video exported.

it takes a little longer to export this time, which gives her a little bit of hope as she sees the circle slowly filling up. but right before it could even fill the whole thing, it disappears and she is about to lose her mind when she sees the popup once again. all of my efforts. all of my pictures that i could've kept forever. all of them are gone because this stupid editor thinks i'm a clown! beginning to be even more frustrated, she goes back to her finder to delete the barely finished drafts of the video, even more downloaded pictures, and one game that she barely touched after finishing it to throw it all in the empty digital bin. when she clears the trash once again, hearing the sound of crumpling paper in both of her ears, she exports the video, this time taking the opportunity to title it with something: if this video does not export, i WILL eat you.

it's one more segment of staring at the circle as it slowly fills up and when she sees it being completed, she lets out a sigh of relief. finally! four times! it took four times! if she ends up having to do any more times than that in the future, she'll probably get more gray hairs than both her mom and her dad combined.

not wanting to waste any more of her time by having to deal with her stupid laptop, she opens up photoshop, takes the screenshot, and chooses a random font before writing "adore u" in a bigger size than "convex" in a smaller one. it doesn't look like it could blend in with the lighting, so she calls it a day as she saves the image and goes on youtube to upload it.

she could be a bit more descriptive with the description, but she wants to be professional (for now) since it is her first video. so in the description, she simply leaves her instagram username and her twitter username because she wants the minimal clout for the one random person who wasn't her friend to follow her on both. before she could press the publish video, she remembers to drop a few hashtags on the bottom. #CONVEX #ADOREU #ADOREUCOVER #KPOP

when she clicks the publish video, she closes her laptop and stretches her arms, letting out a big sigh from all the "work" she did. she'll plug the video on her local twitter and her ig story later but for now? she was going to chill out and bingewatch fruits basket (the new one).

[roguevaramiy]

I know literally everyone ever for the past few months keeps yelling how boring Tyler’s channel is now cuz he plays nothing but Fortnite but like. (Old repeated argument is old, I know lmao) I personally don’t like the game at all, its fuckin’ boring and I’ve played it myself and always have problems and it just kept updating so much with my shitty internet I couldn’t even play, and if I could, I didn’t enjoy myself. I recently just uninstalled it completely. HOWEVER. Don’t go shitting on Tyler for it. You can argue he gets nasty with people who say stuff about it in even a kinder way, but can you really blame him? All he sees every day is people bitching about something that lets him enjoy his day, I’d snap at everyone who mentions it at all too. I’ve been watching all of the BBS guys for the past 5 or so years, and have come to love all of their personalities and senses of humor. So despite the fact I don’t like Fortnite at all and find it boring, I can still enjoy watching Wildcat play just cuz I like him and his humor and I love watching him actually enjoy himself, unlike when he forces himself to play games he doesn’t feel like playing cuz other people wanted him to. If you really can’t see past the game and just enjoy watching him for who he is, then just don’t? I mean. There’s countless Youtubers out there to watch who are entertaining so if you don’t like his Fortnite content, then don’t bother watching and stop being nasty little harassing bitches. You wouldn’t enjoy people yelling at you for playing the game you like now would you? And yah you can say “Well can’t he play some other game he likes?” well no, because he’s even explicitly stated Fortnite is the only game he really feels like playing anymore. Which I totally understand. I’ve gotten into many bad spots where I only ever wanted to do/play this one thing or I didn’t want to do anything at all otherwise, so if I couldn’t do/play that thing, then I’d just not do anything.

Tyler is a human like the rest of us, we all have weird complex feelings and wants and times where some things are just gonna be like that.

So yah, can everyone just stop being assholes cuz god damn. Not everyone wants to play and post the content that you want them too and they don’t have to bend over backwards to give you what you want all the time, all considering you are the consumer of said content who gets it for free.

Oh and this goes the same for ANY of the guys. Don’t shit on them for making stuff they enjoy or just the stuff they want to make in general. You’re not doing anyone a favor by complaining about what they make.

Sorry for this really long ass rant but I just saw a few things that were people being really disgustingly hateful to Tyler and I felt the need to rant.

This has been a PSA d:

---

TL;DR - Yall need to stop being dipshits and harassing Wildcat for his Fortnite videos and let him do what makes him happy, youtubers are human beings too.

[ghostliied]

i honestly like you and think you would make a good friend except that the constant complaining about getting no attention is so intimidating and discouraging and exhausting. if we became friends would i have to constantly reassure you that you're liked and your stuff is good? or would i always feel not good enough and like it's my job to make sure you don't delete because you feel like nobody cares anyway?

Hi Anon. Before I even remotely begin to attack you, (as I believe as a human I should), I will ask you this. Are you happy? Does it make you feel better that you got it off your chest? Yes? 

Well, here, let me tell you how pathetic and how much of a inconsiderate coward you are. But before I begin with even that. I want you to unfollow me. Block me. and if not. Well you know what, fine by me. But message me again on anon I’m going to ask somebody to log onto this blog to deal with you. 

I really REALLY, did not fucking deserve to read this. Not like this. Not how you said it. 

And I will tell you why.

Feel free to read. Or not. I don’t care. But this is going to be a psa for anybody else who wants to read anyway.

But I’m not going to make this dash suffer. I’ll put a read more. tag the triggers. and tell you of the warnings beforehand.

But before I do, please do fucking tell me. Are we mutuals? Do I follow you? Cause if I do. I don’t want to follow you. I don’t even care if I admire you at this point. I dont want to follow and admire somebody who says this. I dont even care if you have social anxiety or what have you. I did not deserve this. 

TW: drama, hate, unpopular opinion, swearing, caps lock.

First of all. Fuck you. You’re an asshole.

If you liked me, then you would wouldn’t have said this. Not like this. and definitely not under anon. 

another thing. If you like me. THEN YOU WOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS WRONG AND 

IS A FUCKING ASSUMPTION.

Get the fuck out with your shitty assumptions.

I have an open communication policy for all of my FOLLOWERS. Not just mutuals. Do I have a preference over mutuals? yes. Of course I do. But that does not mean i ignore people. I have honestly never ever fucking done that and will continue TO NOT DO THAT. I dont even ignore the people I blacklist let alone try to cut off from my life. Do I stop talking to them? yea. But I dont fucking blatantly ignore people. even if they are assholes.

No you don’t like me. And if we were friends IF WE WERE FRIENDS 

You wouldn’t have to hear about complaining or whining or bitching. Are you in a server of mine? Am I in yours? Yes? No? maybe? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!!!!  well. YOU DO APPARENTLY. cause you sent the fucking ask like a shitty coward. 

No, we wouldn’t be friends. Why would I want somebody like that.

Another thing. And you can ask anybody who talks to me. I don’t actively seek attention. I never EVER ask for reassurance. Now. Did I just go and show and tell two friends about you and what you said? Oh of course. why two friends and not like lets say other people I talk about? Because i only ever (semi)fully explained and ranted to two people about this issue and those two people only. Like I have people I talk to. I have talked to many people about our muses. I could name them right now honestly. but from all of those people. There are not many people that I go and physically go to and ask for help. I dont. That’s not who I am. I don’t complain and whine to a lot of people. I fangirl and scream happily to other people. 

But I never ever EVER bring negativity to my friends’ dms unless i trust them and/or explicitly ask them if i can rant to them.

Why? because THAT IS WHO I AM. I chose to suffer in silence. 

I dont have many irl friends. Especially not thought that I can trust to cry about. No. I have always been strong for others. Both irl and online. I can tell you the poeple who i trust enough to actually cry and be depressed to. And I can tell you that they can all be listed on one hand. But I can also tell you that even then. EVEN THEN I don’t tell them about even my WORST emotions that I have. 

I would tell you right now, but naw, you dont fucking deserve that. If I said it I would say ONLY to tell my followers. and maybe thats what you all need to fucking realise. That I’m fucking human. I’m not perfect. And behind this fucking computer I have to deal with the emotional struggle and abuse EVERY. SINGLE DAY. And I have been since high school.

I have a chronic cough from the stress I put myself through. because I internlise everything. and you think that me ‘crying’ about getting no attention is intimidating? well jesus fucking christ if thats the case then I cant even imagine how you would feel if I listed everything that has ever happened to me. No but that’s in the past. If I even tell you what stuggle I have to deal with RIGHT NOW, you would be like ‘shit man, okay maybe it’s not so bad that you’re complaining.’

I don’t go and look for professional help. I should but I can’t. I dont have the money.

But that’s not the fucking point now is it. Oh fuck no. ITS FUCKING NOT.

the PROBLEM IS THAT YOU FUCKING CAME TO MY INBOX. YOU CAME TO MY INBOX ON ANON. like the fucking coward you are. IT wouldn’t have been a problem if you came to me as a human. No. I have to post tis publically for everybody to see because thats waht YOU did.  and was even more terrifying is that I have a second anon asking about an IC thing and it makes me NOT want to answer it BECAUSE I feel like its you. But I know better. and I will happily take that other ask cause its a HC ask and I want to get to that. But no, I wont today BECAUSE OF YOU.

mOVING THE FUCK ALONG IN THIS HATE FUELED REPLY.

You think i would be good friend? You think? Lmao. LMAOOO Alright. Well feel free to ask the people i DO interact with and talk to. Anybody who is my friend would tell you that i AM a good friend. I mean well for those i care about and i put my heart in my sleeve for them. And honestly anybody who IS my friend has seen that i DO put in the effort to be active FOR them. You may not even see if cause i dont post it. But for my friends?? I give them content they deserve. I talk to somebody every single day about our muses. If you fucking asked me how much ive devoloped and plotted. I would give you 30 pages of shit for A SINGLE AU thay ive talked about.

I send asks to the people i care about. I also send asks every now and again to those who i dont talk to cause yea i do know what it feels like to not get asks. I may not be fucking active here. But its not that im not active. Its just that i see no motivation in it.

Its a fucking hassle and chore to refresh my dash to see nothing happening. Ive opened my ims and inbox for anybody to plot. Ive gone to countless people okay?? And I go to them to ask to send things or to reply to something. And okay i fucking get it. We are all busy.

Sometimes it takes a while to respond. But that’s not why I’m fucking angry. 

THATS NOT WHY IM PISSED.

When i fucking write for hours upon hours headcanons, drabbles, answers and asks. Just those alone. And to see that NOBODY says anything about it?

Somebody once told me. We are reciprocal creatures at heart. And even if we say we dont expect much response. It feels good to get a reaponse. Its nice to see that people are reading what you write and reacting to the things you make.

And holy shit there is only ONE person that i know of that actually reacts to what i post. Wait i take that back. I have TWO PEOPLE that react to what i post. That react to 90 percent of what i post. With an occasional third or fourth. But its THESE people that i talk to. That dint deserve me deleting my blog.

And its these people that will fucking tell you that i very rarely bitch and complain about not being wanted. Because it is THESE people that i spend my days plotting and going on about what if intereactions.

If you really wanted to know me and be my friend. You would realise that i simply just want to talk about my muses. I AM NOT ONE FOR SMALL TALK. Talking about feelings is hard for me.

Why I dont personally understand is HOW CAN A FEMALE OC LIKE MIMI GET BLATANTLY IGNORED. AND YET WHEN I GO TO A MALE MUSE??? EVERYBODY?? WANTS TO??? FUCKING??? INTERACT???

that’s not fucking fair. And if you honestly wanted to understand my point you wouldn’t come to be like the shitty little coward you are right now. You would ask why I feel that way. Why ANYBODY would feel that way. But naw. You directly attack me. I showed some friends this ask cause I was visibly upset and one of them literally said:

That is not how you address this issue.

If we became friends. IF WE FUCKING BECAME FRIENDS??

yOU WOULDN’T??? HAVE TO??? REASSURE ME OF ANYTHING????

what fucking drugs are you high on?Get the fuck out of here.

Any person who fucking knows me would know that i ALWAYS fucking PUT MYSELF OUT THERE FOR THEM. I have time and TIME AGAIN run to those who were upset and down. 

Get this fucking in your head right now anon.

I AM THE FUCKING ONE TO REASSURE PEOPLE.I DON’T LOOK OR ACTIVELY SEEK OUT REASSURANCE.

I already get my validation from the people I fucking care about. I got my validation yesterday when my submission was published. I get my validation from my FRIEND ON FUCKING DISCORD WHEN SHE MESSESGES ME EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Holy fucking shit I GOT MY VALIDATION THE DAY I MADE THIS FUCKING!!!! BLOG!!!! FROM A VETERAN OF THE RPC!!!!

I don’t need your fucking validation for fucking shit.

But again not the point.

and not the fucking point as to why I even remotely posted ANYTHING about how nobody pays attention to me.

But you know what. Here is my fucking 2 cents on this. I believe that a majority of the Pokemon RPC doesn’t give a damn about me BECAUSE NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING TO ME OTHERWISE.

Again I’m not talking about everybody. IM TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING COMMUNITY. 

And I really REALLY don’t need to bring up names to fucking bring my case to point. it’s just fucking FACT. 

Me as a mun? honestly I don’t give a damn. Sometimes I kinda wish to remain anonymous or aloof. But Mimi? cause thats the point of me ever bringing up anything anyway?? Mimi????

She gets very VERY little traction. Course there’s a few interactions here and there. But I cannot say that I can ACTIVELY post some quality IC shit or HC shit every day CAUSE AGAIN i DON’T SEE ANY FUCKING POINT. 

A psa that I reblooged so fast one time furhter proves my point. 

I will link it here for your pathetic and lazy ass if you want.

don’t wanna click then here. allow me to EMPHASISE ON WHAT WAS SAID.

the way the rpc treats female muses & female ocs is DISGUSTING.

allow me to repeat it if I havent made it obvious. 

the way the rpc treats female muses & female ocs is 

D I S G U S T I N G.

THATS why i fucking posted anything.

I didn’t post to make people feel sorry for me. I made it a post to show you HOW FRUSTRATED I AM WITH THE FUCKING SHITTY COMMUNITY.

And allow me to reiterate. Its not the people in the community. IT IS THE FUCKING COMMUNITY IN GENERAL. It is what we make the community. 

And honestly im not trying to fucking attack anybody here. I just cannot stand what the RPC fucking is right now. 

And the fact that I’m pulling AT FUCKING TEETH to get any interaction is sad.

I don’t try to make myself fucking intimidating.

I said this to a friend as a rant this morning BEFORE YOU FUCKING SHOWED UP IN MY FUCKING INBOX. and I TOLD them i was ranting i wasn’t expecting anything aside from them to listen because i had to get it off my fucking chest.

dilectam Today at 09:59

so. can you tell me what the fuck im doig wrong then??? like people and their sorry fucking asses are like oh we are picky with OCs they have to be well developed and have a backstory and blah blah blah or something like I dont fllow or interact with OCs that have very little info on them and yet WHEN I FUCKING POST AND WRITE AND YELL ABOUT THIS FUCKING BITCH NOBODY LITERALLY NOBODY (except for like you and [redacted]) FUCKING SENDS ME ANYTHING. ITS LIKE I AM FUCKING TRYING TO PULL OUT TEETH WHEVER I REBLOG A MEME. I haven't gotten any asks iN WEEKS. like look at my fucking inbox.

[image of the THEN empty inbox]

NOTHING IVE BEEN STARING AT IT FOR DAYSnot done

dilectam Today at 10:00

And then when i go to try to do replies, which, of course i have some, I CANT FUCKING PULL OUT THE FUCKING MUSE CAUSE A: THE THREAD HAS BEEN FESTERING AND ITS OLDB: THE THREAD IS LONG AND I DONT WANT TO REPLY TO A LONG REPLY CAUSE HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM BURNT OUT I CANT WRITE.but no. I send asks. I send memes. I do dash comms. I do start calls. I do inbox calls. like

IshouldnotfuckingbebeggingTO GET FUCKING INTERACTIONS.

and then to make matters worse. [REDACTED BECAUSE PERSONAL INFO THAT IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING SHARE WITH YOU]. and when i WHEN I ASKED PEOPLE if i should do commissions you know what happened? nothing. just you liking it. I DIDNT FUCKING ASK IF I SHOULD DO FUCKING COMMISSIONS CAUSE ITS FUN. i hate asking people for money. I want to draw whenever i want for my friends whenever i want without taking their money.but no i get no replies.

and thenAND THENt make fucking matters worse.CAUSE IT GETS WORSE.

Mimi's birthday is coming up soon. and im honestly fucking terrified. I'm kinda starting to cry now about it. [redacted] I'm terrified that her birthday is gonna come and its gonna be like what happened on MY brithday even though i posted about it

I get fucking one ask that wishes her a happy birf.

I'm tired. like I have considered of deleted. not leaving. ACTUALLY DELETING the blog cause likeits fucking depressing and pathetic

sorry i'll stop now but i feel so undervalued and underapprciated i feel like I've i disappeared again, nobody would fcking message me or ask

wanna know why i fucking ranted? because f THIS FUCKING PICTURE.

What is this picture? THIS PICTURE REPRESENTS JUST THE HEADCANONS I HAVE FOR THIS BLOG that ARE LOCATED HERE.

27 pages.

single spaced

times new roman

font 12

wanna know who actually read them?

well aside from many of them having 0 notes.

THE SAME 3-5 PEOPLE LIKED THEM.

which honestly is fine. I don’t mind. But what I am not fucking comfortable with is the fact that aside from those people (only 2 of which i actively either ploit or interact with IC) I have nothing going for me. NOTHING.

Nobody comes in to ask about headcanons.

Nobody fucking asks about why mimi did what she did.

nobody even bothers with me.

and I say nobody losely because OF THE PEOPLE WHO ACTIVELY POST, THE PEOPLE SENDING ME THINGS ARE ACTUALLY PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ACTIVE.

holy fucking shit its a plot twist.

Hahahaha fuck you anon. 

Another thing. If you knew me.

You know know i never EVER fucking delete. Even the blog where shit happened last year, I just abandoned. Why the fuck would I delete 27+ pages of good quality content. Nevermind the bio. the bio alone is 14 pages. 

But you had the NERVE to fucking say that youre scared of me deleting??? like its assholes like you that make me want to delete.

and honey. I would never say you’re not good enough. just talking to me about our muses is all i fucking ask. if anything YOU find yourself not good enough. and that’s fucking sad. because if I knew who you were. like if you actually took the time to sit down with me to talk to me like a human. You would realise that you are more than enough.

Another thing before I fucking end this rant. cause I jsut randomly got SUPER FUCKING ANGRY AGAIN.

You would have never sent this to my other 2 blogs. why? Because I wouldn’t have posted it on the other blogs. BECAUSE I DONT FIND THIS PROBLEM ON MY OTHER BLOGS. why? because they are both male blogs.

So get your misogynist ass out of here. Fucking trash.

[sweetlysilent]

Figment (Ch. Four)

Requested By: Nobody

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Reader

Warnings: Traumatic Memories, Fear, Swearing, Symptoms of Anxiety, Mention of Pennywise, etc.

Summary:

When is a door not a door? Most people tend to always overthink the question, over processing what the answer could be, when in reality it’s right in front of your face. When it’s ajar. This is a riddle that is constantly in the back of your mind.

Just like your greatest fear, it lurks between the space of the door, showing it’s form like a shadow, always creeping behind you. But you convince yourself it’s just a figment of your imagination, that it’s all in your head, that you’re just seeing things. But, what happens when the Loser’s Club end up seeing it too?

A/N: So, I don’t know how many people enjoy this lil blurb mini series but I really like it so I’m going to continue writing it bc it makes me happy. If you like it too then by all means go ahead and read it and if you don’t then don’t read it :)) I post other content too.

PSA: Since I’m still having issues with saving/editing text posts I’m unable to update my Masterlist, therefore, if you want to keep up with my more recent writings I will be tagging my fics with ’#masterlist’ so if you want to find them you’ll be able to. If you’re on mobile you can go up to the little search icon in the right hand corner and simply search ‘masterlist’ and my fics (and my masterlist) will show up!

This isn’t exactly based off the movie or the book, I’m just kind of free handing it and I might use bits and pieces from the movie, but besides that I’m basically just flowing with it. Another thing, feel free to send a comment in my ask or below on what you thought of this part! I’d love to see everyone’s reactions, it helps keep me motivated.

Also, comment below or send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged!

night ter·rors

feelings of great fear experienced on suddenly waking in the night.

“Y/N are you alright? Honey wake up, you’re okay.” Your mother rushed over to you, grabbing ahold of your shoulders as you shook violently, small screams escaping your lips every few seconds, sweat dripping down your forehead.

You were having a night terror, something you hadn’t experienced since you were ten years old, since the last time the clown had tried to take you.

In your terror Pennywise was chasing you, his maniac laugh echoing throughout your ears as you ran in a state of panic, your breathing chaotic as you tried to get away from him.

You were running as fast as you could, your lungs were burning from breathing so hard, but you didn’t care, you just wanted to make it out alive.

You made a sharp turn around the corner, only to come face to face with Richie, except this wasn’t really him.

“Richie.” You breathed out, your eyes widening as he gave you a crooked smile, sending chills down your spine.

“Why are you running from us Y/N?” Richie questioned, turning his head to the side slightly as he eyed you intently.

“Stop playing these bullshit games with me! I know you’re not him! Get OUT of my head!” You screamed, your hands gripping your hair harshly as you watched Richie’s form disappear and Pennywise’s emerge from the ground.

“You’ll float too.”

And then you woke up.

“Y/N! Oh my god are you alright? Speak to me sweetie, what’s wrong?” Your mother gaped at you in worry, watching as you breathed heavily, your eyes searching your room frantically before landing on her.

“I-I..” You stammered, unable to form words, not after what you had just experienced, there was no way she’d ever understand what you were going through.

“It’s alright, just take a deep breath, relax, you’re okay.” Your mother cooed, her arms wrapped around your small figure as you sat on your bed, your chest heaving.

It was all getting worse, so bad to the point sleeping pills weren’t even working.

After about an hour of sitting and attempting to talk to your mother about what had happened, she hesitantly left, unwillingly of course, but you told her you wanted to try and go back to sleep, which was a straight up lie.

The second the door to your room closed, you put on some socks, along with your shoes, a jacket, and a beanie to keep your ears warm.

You quietly climbed out your window, before jumping down to the ground, grabbing your bike along the way before peddling down the street.

You weren’t sure what possessed you to sneak out and do this, but your gut told you to go to him, so you did.

You knew it was late, around three in the morning, you weren’t sure if he’d even be awake at this hour, but you didn’t care.

You rode up to his house, resting your bike against the fence before wandering around to find his window, which you were glad was ground level.

You hesitantly knocked on his window, looking around to make sure nobody saw you, while waiting to see if he would notice you.

You didn’t hear any movement so you knocked again, this time a bit harder, before hearing footsteps approach the window.

The second he saw you, confusion spread across his face, before opening the window.

“Y/N, what the hell? What are you doing here? It’s three in the morning.” Richie complained, rubbing his eyes tiredly, making his glasses slip down his nose slightly.

“I-I.. I need to talk to you.” You stammered, giving him pleading eyes as he let out a tired sigh, before opening the window a bit more and stepping aside to let you in.

You carefully climbed into his room, doing your best to not knock anything over as you rebalanced yourself, shutting his window quietly.

“This better be important, this face needs its beauty sleep.” Richie half joked, giving a sleepy smile, making you shake your head at him.

“It is, just let me talk, lord.” You muttered, walking over to sit on his bed, surprising Richie slightly to see you have that much confidence.

“Wait, hold up, how are you awake? I thought you were on sleeping pills or some shit like that.” Richie questioned, now remembering the whole classroom incident.

“I am, but apparently I can wake up even on meds.” You grumbled, rubbing your forehead while letting out a sigh.

Richie noticed your posture deflate slightly, making his eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, before walking over and sitting down next to you.

“What happened Y/N? You wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t important.” Richie spoke gently, placing his hand on your knee softly to stop it from moving anxiously.

You turned to face him, your eyes flickering back and forth from his, before turning your face down to your hands.

“I-I had a night terror.. I haven’t had one of those since I was ten. Ten Richie.” You whispered, your voice wavering slightly as you recalled the memory.

“I-I was being chased by the clown..” You continued, the back of your neck starting to sweat once again.

“The same clown you told us about?” Richie questioned, as you nodded your head, unable to look him in the eyes.

“I was running from him, I was running so hard Richie that I couldn’t breathe, and then I remember I ran around the corner..” You whispered, your breathing becoming a bit heavier, making Richie start to worry.

“W-What happened? What was around the corner?” Richie questioned hesitantly, his eyes widening slightly when you looked up at him, your eyes watery.

“I-I saw you.” You whispered, your lip quivering slightly as he stared at you in disbelief.

“W-What? H-How.. How is that even possible?” Richie stammered, his hand leaving your knee as he got up to pace around his room.

“It wasn’t really you though.. It was him. The clown. He pretended to be you to get to me, but I knew it wasn’t you, so I called him out on it and then he became his true self.” You explained, watching as Richie paced back and forth in front of you.

“And then before I woke up, I heard him say ‘You’ll float too.’” You mimicked how he said it, making Richie stop pacing and face you, his mouth slightly open.

“That’s what Bill said his brother said to him..” Richie whispered, creating goosebumps on your arms.

“Richie.. What if I’m next? What if I go missing?” You whimpered, a tear slipping down your cheek as Richie shook his head, engulfing you in his arms.

“There’s no way in hell I’ll let that happen, alright?” Richie spoke into your hair as he held you in his arms tightly.

“I don’t think you have a choice.. It’s my turn to be taken..” You whispered quietly, making him take a step back to look at you.

“What are you talking about Y/N? I know it’s late and we’re both tired but now you’re just making shit up.” Richie frowned at you, as you shook your head.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced the clown, before I moved.. Two of my friends went missing.. So, of course we went looking for them, and that’s when we saw the clown, he tried taking us too.. But we defeated him. We thought he was dead.” You explained quietly, your eyes focused on the ground as you replayed the moments in your head.

“Are your friends..” Richie questioned quietly, his voice disappearing before he could finish as he saw you look up at him through your lashes.

You shook your head no, making him visibly swallow as you let out a sigh.

“Is that why you moved here? To get away?” Richie questioned, as you nodded slowly, the feeling of shame setting in.

Richie nodded slowly, trying to process everything you had just told him, at first he didn’t want to believe you, he wanted to believe you were just crazy, but the more you spoke about it, the realer it got.

“I believe you.” He finally spoke up after a few minutes of being completely quiet, surprising you.

“You do?” You looked at him with hopeful eyes, watching as he sighed and walked back over to sit next to you.

“Yeah, Y/N, I do, because as much as I tried to forget it, I saw the red balloon in my dream, and next thing I know you’re here at my window.” Richie confessed, making your eyes widen.

“We need to tell the others. If they’ve seen the balloon too, then..” You looked at him worriedly, as he placed his hand on yours.

“Then they might be taken too.”

Tags: @the-crime-fighting-spider @f-b-a-w-t-f-t-2 @mishamgos @winter-fire-and-january-embers @hey-its-bean @theotherschuyler @o-starshine @socialanxietyblogger

[cyclicallysick]

Just a lil psa

Hey there! Long time, no see. I just wanted to write a post about where I’ve been, and the future of this blog.

Right now, I have a little over 700 followers. I want to thank all of you for following me. I started this blog when I was around 15 years old (I’m now 20 years old, so it has gone through the perilous teenage years with me) and going through a bit of a rough time. It definitely wasn’t when my CVS was at its worst, but it did still have a presence in my life. I thankfully, have not had an episode for over 3 years... and I have no idea why. My CVS just stopped, and so life has continued for me. I’ve been in school, hanging out with friends, hanging out with my family, staying away from hospitals (well, not really).

I still really want to try to keep this blog active. When I started my blog in 2012, I don’t think that there was any CVS content on tumblr, or if there was it was extremely minimal. Part of the reason that my 15 year old self wanted to make this blog was because of that. I wanted to share my experiences about CVS with other people and I wanted to hear about what others had gone through. And I’m extremely thankful that I have had the opportunity to do that, and I want these discussions to continue for the future.

I also want to keep this blog active because it is one of the only blogs (once again, correct me if I’m wrong) that is essentially solely dedicated to CVS. I do reblog posts relating to other illnesses and there are a number of reasons for that. However, I do have a tag that you can click on so only CVS posts show up.

And now- for the future of this blog. I will still try to keep it as active as I can. I am in school, training to be a nurse, so things can get busy. This is part of the reason why I still find my blog relevant for myself, even though I have been episode free for a while. It’s also one of the reasons that I do reblog posts about other illnesses, because they will likely be relevant in my practice in the future. I don’t really view myself as ‘cured’ or that my CVS is permanently over. I think it is more likely that it is lying dormant for now, and I’m not complaining.

[niedolia]

psa for the yoi fandom: russian names & how to use them

Russian guides: masterpost | patronyms | terms of affection | answered asks

I’m going to start by swearing this isn’t me just complaining but a general resource for the Yuri on Ice fandom because I’ve noticed some mistakes in the naming conventions used among the fandom and want to help correct them. Especially in how the fandom treats diminutives. I absolutely love seeing the huge amount of interest in Russian diminutives, etc. in fanart and fics and hopefully this breakdown will help continue that trend and interest and even spur some more ideas in fandom content.

So let’s go through some important details below the cut!

note beforehand: I use the spelling Viktor for transliterative reasons.

the basics of russian names

By now this is pretty common knowledge but I’m going to explain Russian names anyway, using our lovely Viktor as my example.

First name:  Viktor. self-explanatory.

Patronymic: It’s not a middle name. It is not a middle name that gets to be chosen like in America/etc. It is derived from the name of a person’s father and has an ending depending on whether they’re male or female. No Russian character in YoI has a patronymic and I’m going to explain why this really sucks and how we can get around this in the meantime below.

Surname: Nikiforov. self-explanatory. But do know that for females, their surnames will have an -a at the end, ie Mila Babicheva.

- as a side note, just because a character’s surname ends in -ovich or something similar doesn’t necessarily mean they are ethnically Russian. Other Eastern Slavic nations use similar endings on their surnames, so you should be relying more on the first part of a surname than the ending if you’re trying to find the character’s true origin. Georgi Popovich is a good example: his surname is Ukrainian and Belarussian even though he skates for Russia. I doubt this will come up much but it might be a nice thing to know.

the next part is about formality & when to use patronymics. if you’re a modern-based writer & couldn’t care less, go down to the diminutive part.

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patronymics & why YoI has creators screwed over here !!!

I’m sure a lot of us have heard it by now: the complaint rising from foreigners trying to read Russian novels that there are too many names for one person. The reason overall is pretty simple: how you call a Russian person depends on close you are to them. There’s three basic levels on how you should address someone, but the last two mix a lot so we’ll go over that later:

Strangers, formal situations: First name + Patronym

Friends: Diminutive

Close Friends, family, lovers: Diminutive & Pet name

We’re going to go over the first level then go from there in degrees of intimacy between two people. Plus there’s some things wrong with the above basic levels, but for simplicity and understanding sake, we’re going to start here and then improve.

I’m going to say now to those writing modern stuff: you can skip to the next part if you want. I explain why below but honestly it’s just me proving the show got this part right. Historical/Fantasy AU writers, you’re in for the long haul.

This is where this fandom is irreversibly screwed until more information comes. I can only hope whoever reads this doesn’t need to worry. Good luck to those who do.

Side tip: it’s not the best equivalent but if you’re having a difficult time understanding when to use patronyms, think of them as like versions of English “Mister” and “Miss”. Or, if you speak Spanish/French/etc., it’s like the continued name equivalent of using the formal “you”. You’d use these for say, your teacher or friend’s mother, not so much for your friend. I’ve also seen it be compared to Japanese “-san” but I’m not sure how correct that is.

The First name + Patronym structure is used for: formal situations, much older people, your doctor, teachers, and those higher than you career-wise. Notice something? This isn’t used for strangers absolutely all the time until you become friends - unless you’re in a formal situation like with a doctor or interviewing for a job. This creates level 1.5, which I will introduce below.

I’m going to split this in 2 parts, depending on what type of art you’re creating:

Modern: chill, my dude. Patronyms have nothing on you. Thank your dear Russians for that, their understanding toward our customs and adjusting - a lot, actually. While Russians might introduce themselves as First name + Patronymic, this can get dropped pretty quickly with anyone under 40 years old and not your boss/new doctor/etc. This is due to recent shifting trends with Westernization and is especially going to be followed by our Russian skaters when they’re at the GPF, etc.

This is where we get level 1.5: addressing someone by their full name (and by formal “you” but that’s lost in English). No nicknames, no patronyms. It’s casual without being too casual. This is what you use for coworkers, loose friends, etc. This is how Viktor is going to address Georgi.

What does this mean for modern fics?

Don’t worry about the patronymic. Our Russian skaters + Yakov (not Lilia though, Lilia is something else, be afraid) are okay with being addressed by just their first names (though I feel Yakov has no choice thanks to Viktor).

Don’t go to diminutives until characters are closer. Especially if it’s a younger character to an older one - ie. even if Yurio was a completely different person, it would be inappropriate for him to call Viktor Vitya.

Go. Be free. Why are you reading this section? Skip to the next part.

Historical/Fantasy AUs: Patronyms stopped being A Big Deal recently, so basically people under 50 years old no longer use them outside of formal situations. So if your AU is within the past couple decades, just use the modern format and go on with your life. If it takes place a long time ago or is one of those fantasy AUs with princes and whatnot, this is the section for you.

Hopefully you read the modern part because that there is your base. You know now that the First name + Patronym structure is used for formal situations. Historically, the patronym is going to be used in formal situations, by colleagues, by acquaintances, and by those younger than you.

Yes, that means Yurio should be sucking it up and calling Viktor by his name and patronym - twice over, in fact, since he’s a colleague of Viktor’s. Unless your Yurio gets Upgraded to friend, he’s stuck in this section.

It also means that Viktor and Georgi probably address each other with their patronyms, Yakov should be addressed so, etc. Technically Yuuri should call Viktor this way too when they first meet, but this really depends on the AU - whether Yuuri will know this or not, whether Viktor will feel compelled to correct him, etc. Then with time characters can upgrade to just first names and then just diminutives. The pacing depends on how fast your characters are moving.

But Vasilek, we don’t know any of the Russian characters’ patronyms!

I know, fam, we’re not in a Good Way.

Unless you’re writing Yurio, then I have a good theory for you below.

But for the rest, you basically got 3 options here:

Yakov as a father: ngl, I love Yakov as a father figure. So if you want to make it official in your fic and blow off canon, here’s an easy option to getting your patronym. Yakovlevich is the patronym for a son of Yakov. So, Viktor can be Viktor Yakovlevich Nikiforov. Make your own rules. Also as a note: a person can legally change their patronym to distance themselves from their father / recognize their adopted father, so Viktor changing his patronym for Yakov is perfectly okay to do - both in modern and historical/fantasy AUs (see this post for details).

Make it up: yeah. Just pull a patronym and take it. Make your own rules. It’s more accurate than there not being anything at all. And if Viktor’s/whoever’s father’s name is revealed? Just say that the father ditched and the mother picked another patronym. So, to take my middle name as a self-indulgent example, Viktor could be Viktor Vasilievich Nikiforov. Luckily patronyms are more set in their form so they can be constructed easily for males & females (usually -ovich/-evich for males & -ovna/-evna for females) but I’ve explained all of this in better detail + added some more tips about patronymics here.

Leave it out. How unexciting.

This applies to Viktor, Yakov, and every other Russian except Yurio. If anyone has any other suggestions for the patronyms please contact me and I’ll add it, but I can’t think of much else.

So why is Yurio so special??????

Yurio’s special because we know two things about him: his grandfather’s name & some background information from an interview stating that his family is broken. And even then, we know that his grandfather raised him. We can assume that his father is unknown/some similar excuse. According to Russian law, if the father is not known, the mother is allowed to choose any patronymic she wishes for the child - just as long as it’s a patronym.

The most common practice in this case? To use the child’s maternal grandfather’s name as the patronym.

Yurio’s grandfather is named Nikolai. So, unless officially stated otherwise, we can accurately say that Yurio’s full name is:

Yuri Nikolaevich Plisetsky. 

Taking their relationship to a whole new level, huh?

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level two: diminutives

Alright, we’re safely out of the formal atmosphere and closer than just coworkers. We hang out, we know each other fairly well, we met a few months ago. We’re friends! We can use diminutives!

The fandom actually has a pretty good grasp on the diminutives. It’s not just a nickname; it’s not a childhood nickname, it’s not cute or childish or anything like that. Diminutives are used at all ages in casual settings. They’re short and end in -a usually which is how we identify them. Viktor has been called Vitya by his family, Yakov + other teachers, friends (ie Christophe), and even lovers all his life and will remain Vitya to them ‘til the day he dies. When Nikolai Plisetsky asks Yurio to pass the salt at dinner, he calls him Yura. Hell, Viktor could be asking someone new out for a drink and introduce himself as Vitya. It’s just a casual language thing.

Y’all got this part down. It’s some of the details after that that get hazy. I’m going to use Viktor & Yuuri as my example below but do know that these rules apply to the rest of the Russians; ie. Otabek calling Yuri Yura consistently while they’re just friends, etc.

THIS IS THE IMPORTANT STUFF WRITERS !!!

1. Since Russian, Japanese, and English all work differently, Viktor’s probably going to tell Yuuri when he’s okay with being called Vitya. That timeline is up to you, but realistically, I bet Viktor tells Yuuri straight up that he can start calling him Vitya. And knowing Yuuri, Viktor is going to be the one to initiate this. Give me all of the permission scenes, I love them, please.

2. Once Viktor tells Yuuri he can call him Vitya & Yuuri agrees, don’t have Yuuri switch back to calling him Viktor! Unless they break up (ha), there’s no going back. Viktor is Vitya now, permanently. And knowing Viktor’s Extra-ness, he’d probably be devastated if Yuuri backtracked on that after calling him Vitya. Keep consistent. Viktor - agreement to call him Vitya - Vitya. - Exception: office AU and the like. If Yuuri and Viktor are in a business meeting/in some other formal setting then, and only then, is it chill for Yuuri to switch back temporarily. Otherwise? He’s Vitya now.

3. Viktor is ‘Vitya’, not any other diminutive! No, he is not Tora or any others of the like. (Pet names are another matter, but can have the same rule). Viktor is canonically called ‘Vitya’ as a diminutive. He probably wouldn’t answer to the others, that’s not how he introduced himself as. I know there’s a lot of cool diminutives but seriously, remember that consistency is key for level 2. It would be the Russian equivalent of someone named James and goes by Jim suddenly being called Jem. Diminutives are usually chosen by the parents so Viktor will have grown up hearing Vitya and not, say, Tora. It’d be weird and possibly inappropriate to use something else if you accidentally grab an affectionate diminutive. And just to give you an idea of how permanent a diminutive can be: some parents will decide on their child’s diminutive before deciding their full name (ie Anna and Anastasia have similar diminutives so the parent will have to choose between these two for their already established diminutive). - Exception: Vitka is okay on level 2.5.

4. For those of you with some drama in your fic, I did get a very interesting question: how would Yuuri address Viktor when they’re fighting? If they’re in the Vitya stage already and it’s not a big fight, Yuuri could switch back to using Viktor during it, that would get his point across. If he’s still calling Viktor by his first name and/or it’s a big fight, go for the full Viktor Nikiforov. Leave out the patronymic. Remember that the First name + Patronym is considered respectful; that’s not what you want. But using the First + Surname when Viktor is right there is considered rude and would produce the right effect. It’s like when your mom calls you because you’re in trouble.

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so what the heck is level 2.5 vasya ???

Level 2.5 is colloquial diminutives. This is Vitka instead of Vitya.

Colloquial diminutives are for really good friends, this is for your bromance, now with an extra -k. Yep, these ones are recognizable by the k present in them (so Viktor - Vitka, Anna - Anka, etc.). So if you think Viktor and Christophe are real chill buds, Christophe’s probably gonna call him Vitka sometimes when they’re hanging out together. Or if Yuuri wanted to show that he’s at that stage with Viktor, he can start using Vitka; since they’re already at the Vitya stage and it’s pretty obvious when you’re bff’s with someone, Yuuri could start using this without Viktor’s permission once he felt like it.

In fact, Viktor would probably freak out in joy if he does.

The context for when Vitya vs Vitka should be used is kinda weird to explain in English because at some level they’re interchangeable. The closest we have is the James - Jim - Jimmy name tree, following the Name - Diminutive - Colloquial Diminutive in this case. So think of it like this: diminutives are casual & colloquial diminutives are hardcore casual while also noting that this person is your bff all in one. You wouldn’t introduce your best bro as Jimmy or Jim (unless you’re Cpt. Jim Kirk trying to charm the ladies) to a stranger, you’d start with James. Then when they get to know each other it’s Jim. Then a few years later you find James and the stranger playing Super Mario w/e with the stranger yelling “get out of my way, Jimmy” at the top of his lungs. It’s casual and intimate, more so than Jim, without getting into romance terms either.

Now this scenario, playing a video game, would fit Viktor and Christophe perfectly and demonstrate a natural time for when to use Vitka. It could also fit in for when Yuuri and Viktor are watching a movie alone, etc.

Diminutive vs colloquial diminutives are highly interchangeable and it’s going to depend on the mood of your scene. If you use it, just make sure the two people are close friends and in a casual setting (ie at home, the park, what have you). Because it’s basically an even more intimate form of Vitya without getting into pet names, and a hardcore mode of Jim vs Jimmy. It’s also a much smaller step than going from Viktor to Vitya; it’s more of an acknowledgment of the stronger friendship.

Tread carefully with these! If two people aren’t that great of friends it can be seen as an insult, as belittling. So if Yuri is mad at Mila, he’s going to call her Milka. - This goes back to historical times when a person would refer to themselves to a superior by their colloquial diminutive - ie peasant Viktor will call himself Vitka when talking to the Tsar. But the same connotation wouldn’t carry over to peers - fellow peasant Christophe could call Viktor Vitka too and it would be alright, just a way of communicating their friendship. - Modern times are a bit different; Vitka is still seen as being lower. So even though it can communicate friendship, you should go easy with it and only use it in extremely casual situations. In other terms, you’re not going to call your friend “Jim-boy” just anywhere.

When in doubt, stick with the plain diminutive or upgrade to a pet name.

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level 3: affectionate diminutives / pet names

This level can get weird and confusing, ngl.

Pet names are reserved for really close friends, family, and lovers (and children like Yurio. children are referred to as their diminutives/pet names fairly often). That’s it!

It’s also worth nothing that teachers do not use these. They will use diminutives, but not colloquial diminutives or pet names with their students. This illustrates just how close Yakov and Yuri really are for Yakov to call him Yurochka.

Pet forms are pretty easy to recognize, I won’t get into that. I’m going to tell you all the other scary stuff.

This is the level where Yuuri probably shouldn’t expect an invitation to call Viktor Vitenka, unless Viktor is being Extra. But I think after the kiss, it should be pretty obvious that they’re at level 3. This is gonna vary by your fics: general rule of thumb, if they’re dating & know it, go for it. That’s not the hard part.

The hard part is knowing when to switch between diminutive/colloquial/pet form. That is all in the atmosphere of your fic. And while my general rule of thumb is to stick to one diminutive and one pet name for simplicity’s sake, the truth is Russians do use more than one pet name. Get rekt, right? Luckily pet forms are just for people the character is really close to such as spouses and family (ie both Nikolai Plisetsky and Yakov are going to call Yuri Yurochka). Otherwise, you should be avoiding these.

There’s a random string of exceptions to this last rule. While you generally should avoid pet forms unless they’re really close, they can be used on a friend’s birthday or when a character is doing something nice for a friend. For example, Viktor might call Yuri Yurochka on his birthday and then probably get murdered afterwards. Just use pet names carefully.

So should Yuuri be calling Viktor Vitenka all the time then? Nah, and I doubt Yuuri would feel comfortable with that (though Viktor might like it lol). Natives obviously have it down more but there’s some general patterns for when to use pet forms for a spouse:

Holidays (Valentine’s Day, lol), birthdays, when expressing their love, during great emotion in general (ie when Yakov calls Yuri by his pet name after he skates). Probably also for when a character really wants something from another (ie if Yuuri wanted Viktor to do something for him, he could switch to Viktor’s pet name), kind of like how Americans will say “Honey dearest, can you x for me?” to their spouses.

Now if you said something like, “Vasyusha, pass the salt.”, I’d probably question it. That’s where you should be saying just the diminutive or maybe colloquial diminutives. In fact, spouses/etc. tend to stick to the plain diminutive (ie Vitya) until given a reason otherwise like expressing love or great emotion (I can give further examples but I think Yakov and Yuri above sum it up well). It’s a very personal name is what I’m saying.

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vasyka for the love of ice just sum all that up

So to give some sort of pattern for us non-natives, this should be the general timeline for what Yuuri calls Viktor:

Viktor + Patronym: too formal and outdated for modern

Viktor: when they first meet onwards / if Yuuri is in a softcore fight with Viktor after they’ve reached Vitya level

Vitya: they’re friends & invites Yuuri to & usually from then onwards

Vitka: they’re in a very casual setting (ie alone)

Vitenka / Vityasha / etc.: they’re lovers & Yuuri feels like it’s the right time to call Viktor this

Viktor Nikiforov: they’re in a fight and Yuuri’s pulling out the big guns

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DIMINUTIVES

Here’s some Russian diminutives for Viktor, Yuri, and Yuuri (by popular demand). Please keep in mind that Vitya is canon and you should not go changing that out for another diminutive (which is why I’m not providing any others for Viktor). Since Yuri & Yuuri are phonetically close, some do use Russian diminutives for Yuri for Japanese Yuuri - personally I don’t see much wrong with that and Viktor Extra Nikiforov would probably do it anyway, so feel free to have Viktor call Yuuri any of the diminutives/pet forms below. Since not all of these diminutives are in common use, I’ve italicized the most common ones. These come from some Russian websites so if you want me to transliterate any other diminutives (ie for Mila) feel free to message me!

Viktor Pet Forms: Vitenka (Витенька), Vityusha (Витюша), Vityasha (Витяша), Vityacya (Витяся), Vityakha (Витяха), Vityosha (Витёша), Vityulya (Витюля), Vityunya (Витюня), Vityucya (Витюся), Vityukha (Витюха), Vishuta (Вишута), Viktorka (Викторка), Viktucya (Виктуся), Vitasha (Виташа), Vitunchik (Витунчик)

Yuri / Yuuri Russian, Diminutives: Yura (Юра), Yurik (Юрик), Yusha (Юша), Yurchik (Юрчик), Yurok (Юрок), Yuka (Юка), Yurka (Юрка), Yurets (Юрец) Pet Forms: Yurochka (Юрочка), Yuronka (Юронка), Yuranya (Юраня), Yuracya (Юрася), Yurakha (Юраха), Yurasha (Юраша), Yurchenya (Юрченя)

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but vasyusha, this made no sense / i have more questions / i have something to contribute to this post !!

Message me, my dude !!!  I’m open to answering more questions and I’ll do so to the best of my ability or at least hook you up with some resources. Don’t be afraid to ask me, my life is this language, I welcome questions!

Also!! Shout to to my two beta-readers, @nihonlove & @dokurochrome  for reading over this, asking questions and for clarification, and encouraging this post! You two are amazing <3

[lvtvr]

psa i guess??? :o

hello!! so, i noticed myself being more caught up in negativity lately and just, in general, being ... whiny about stuff. this is just an announcement that from now on i am going to do my best to ease up on that! in preparation for s3, pls welcome the new and improved lvtvr @ tungle, which will feature genuine excitement and completely ignoring the toxic parts of the fandom! you guys are the whole fandom now, as far as i’m concerned.

after i came out of stealth mode and started reblogging whatever i wanted, i felt like it was my responsibility to stand up for my opinions and make it 110% clear that i’m never going to tolerate bullies. this was to make certain that nobody who would ever feel justified in wishing death or harm upon ANY person over fandom bullshit would make the mistake of thinking they were welcome here. however, it segued into me becoming a little bitchier about silly things than perhaps was warranted. for my own sake, i’m gonna tone it down.

all of my opinions still stand, and if you are curious about my stance on various issues, i have a good onion tag for reblogged, non-hateful, interesting posts about fandom and fiction in general. i’m not going to reblog any more fandom-specific salt. however, if you ever do need to vent or complain, feel free to message me privately. i know talking about it can help, so my askbox and DMs are always open. it’s better to let off that steam in private than to ventilate it publicly where anyone can see.

another thing i’ve fallen into is complaining about the fan content i don’t personally enjoy, just bc it’s so... unavoidable, but i’m going to stop doing that too. am i still pissed about the massive amounts of ooc content for my favorite ship and tired of all the boring, overdone fanon tropes? absolutely. but i’ve decided to deal with it by making my own content and leading by example -- be the change, etc. if i need to whine, i’ll turn to my friends.

okay, that’s it!! get hype for season 3, kids!!!!!!!!!!!

[necrospawnd-blog]

𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒         !!!

Name’s Marley. I’m 28 years old and a single Mother of two with a full time job and two other rp blogs. I won’t always be here and I don’t expect anyone else to always be here when I am. We all have lives and my children come before anything else. As long as we retain a mutual respect for our personal lives outside of the rp community everything will be great. If you want to get to know me simple interaction will get the ball rolling. Discord is available for any mutual’s who want it.

INTERACTIONS

i. I am mobile about 70% of the time meaning I can’t always look at someone’s blog when they follow me. Which means it MAY take a while before I DO follow you because I’ve decided to start looking at someone’s page and information/rules now before I do any following back. Unless I look at your posts and see something that strikes me as interesting enough to follow before I’ve taken a peak at all of your information. ii. This is a Mutuals only blog. Memes are open to anyone, not only mutuals. plotting calls, and starter calls are all for mutuals only unless stated otherwise in the tags. This is for my own sanity, mind you, as to not become overwhelmed. ii. I will not follow back anyone under the age of 18 years. I apologize in advance, but I am nearing my thirties and will not sugar coat my content. I understand that anyone under the age of 18 may feel free to follow, but I won’t follow back or interact with anyone under 18 years. I can’t force anyone under the legal age to not follow me, but I highly recommend that you don’t. iv. I do not do exclusives. I may, for very close people to me both ic/ooc due to the nature of our relationship, but as far as anyone is concerned I am open to multiples of the same canon muses to interact with.

v. Shipping !!! I absolutely love ships. If you feel like our muses have chemistry and you’d like to ship them please let me know ! If we’ve been writing for a while I’m pretty positive i’d be down for the ship the same as you. If there’s the off chance that I don’t, or you don’t ship our muses and I do? There’s absolutely no hard feelings. Platonic ships are just as important to me.

MESSAGING

Inbox: My inbox is open to anyone and everyone. Anons, followers, mutual follows. If you are a mutual you are free, at any time to turn a meme response into a thread. Just please make a new post and tag me, do not reblog. Hate/drama is not accepted on this blog. It will be ignored and deleted. [ I am also a meme hoarder. Please forgive me if I do not respond for some time and my memes pile up. uvu ] Instant messaging: if I follow you, this means that I DO want to interact with you. Please feel free to hop into my IM’s at any time. I may not respond right away, I may glance while mobile and make a mental note to respond later in the day but sometimes I DO forget. Please do not take this as me ignoring you, I’m simply slow and at times very forgetful. IM’s are for ooc/plotting only. Discord: I will provide my username upon request to mutuals only. Once you are added to my discord it is ALWAYS open for ic/ooc interactions. I sometimes, when busy am far more active in discord than I am here on tumblr. So feel free to start anything with me at any time on there. Although I can not promise I will be extremely quick to respond to that either.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

i. God modding, it’s a given. Of course, drabbles, prompts at times require such a thing and I am okay with that. There are given circumstances during threads that are acceptable to make a semi-assumption of how my character may react. Just give my muse the option to react. ex. Throwing a hit towards my muse. They may be able to deflect, or they may be distracted etc. to do anything about it. It should be common knowledge by now how this works. ii. PERSONAL BLOGS. please do not reblog content from my blog unless the tags give permission to do so! Do not reblog threads. DO NOT REBLOG THREADS. iii. If I unfollow you do not come to me and complain. I have a right to unfollow anyone I choose. Whether it’s lack of interaction, or for the main part, the content you post. I will unfollow anyone constantly caught up in drama, anyone who makes excessive rants shooting up red flags that you’re just here for the attention and not to write. Anyone drama driven. honestly it’s distasteful and will earn you an automatic unfollow from me. iv. I judge a blog from the first 3 pages. If I can’t make it 5 pages in without seeing callouts or constant drama having been every other post. I will not follow you. Do not try to bring me in to your callout drama. I will STOP interacting with you. I am HIGHLY against callout culture and un-necessary aggression in the rpc that is used to seek out attention and a following base to gain popularity. psa’s are for IMPORTANT matters in the rpc, not your personal drama. v. Theme bg, icons, edits that state in the tags that they belong to me that say [  PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG ], threads, bio etc. all belong to me. While all the muses on this page are CANON. Their headcanon’s and how I choose to diverge each one outside of canon belong to me.

CONTENT

The majority of my muses have a strong R rating. There will be triggering and mature content on this blog. Please be aware of that before you choose to follow. I currently do not tag trigger warnings for basic things like blood or nsfw content in my writing, but will tag triggering content in images under tw ____. If I don’t tag something that triggers you [ Because there are a lot of triggers these days and I can’t keep up ] Please let me know and I will do my best to make sure that content is tagged appropriately.

Credit for the psd i use goes to @kingsleigh