#prsk has just been living in my brain so much

[winterlilyarts]

Yuki cosplay! I love him very much

[icedroppedinparasolcider]

Thoughts on ena? Feel free to yap as much as you did in three shizuku one!

so, fun fact about me! i was an ena oshi from like. On This Blank Canvas, I Paint ensekai release to about Say Goodbye to Masked Me jpsekai release, when kanade took the crown (it's since ended up in airi's hands, if not obvious). so i have an absolute ton of stuff i could say about ena and figuring out where to even begin is always the hardest part of all of this. i won't even give myself a direction here i'm just gonna stream of consciousness this.

shinonome ena was probably the first character i got genuinely attached to among the cast, and while most of my thoughts and attention have strayed to other characters, she still remains someone i get incredibly insane about (frankly the entire cast does this to me, but ena is one of the highlight characters of this). and a lot of it comes from my reading of On This Blank Canvas, I Paint when it released on ensekai, because that event not only changed ena for me, but how i view the entire game and its story. that event changed my brain chemistry and nothing deserves the claim more than it.

prior to that event, i looked at ena like i do most "mean" characters, with a sort of dismissive attitude due to generally not being a fan of the archetype and the way many pieces of media write them (other fandoms i was part of before prsk largely ruined it for me). but that event, and ena herself completely changed my entire perspective on the character archetype as a whole, and while i still wouldn't say it's my favourite, i am far from dismissive of the character type and many of my favourites from other medias exist within it because i'm actually paying attention to why they're like this. On This Blank Canvas, I Paint was my first exposure to the why, and i've never been able to look away since.

while there's arguments to be made of this factor for every person in it, i personally stand at the opinion that ena is the representation of everything the solid heart class stands for. akito is really close, and he's in contention, but i'll get more into akito later on because there's so much i need to say about their relationship, their parallels, the roles they have in each other's lives and the reflection of these roles onto the people around them. but with solid heart in general, i think that ena exists as an epitome of everything they are, and the fact everyone except ena in-world is able to recognise that only further pushes my point. because unlike akito, ena believes herself a coward on top of being inadequate. she doesn't recognise the strength it requires to keep pushing forward through all this pain, she thinks herself weak for even experiencing it at all. while akito believes himself (at least up to BURN MY SOUL) inferior to his peers, there's not really a moment where he looks at himself as weak for struggling. he simply pushes forward, and Find a Way Out and BURN MY SOUL is the recognition that that is what gives him his power. ena doesn't even consider that possibility until Knowing the Unseen, when she learns about what her father went through.

solid heart is defined by its determination and unflinching will to improve and chase their dreams no matter who or what gets in their way. shiho continuing to practice and search for a band after convincing herself she's better off solo; airi's constant drive to be a better idol and reach the heights she set for herself; akito's refusal to back down from the unbreakable wall of rad weekend despite the entire town telling him he can't do it; nene's constant push through her story to be an actress worthy of the dreams she has. ena is just part of this, chasing the dream that is her art and the desire to garner a following from it, make a career out of it like her father has. she doesn't attach her name to the works of 25ji because she doesn't want its popularity to be the reason her artwork succeeds, she wants the effort and beauty she captures on the canvas to speak for itself. everyone in solid heart carries that wish, for their work to speak for itself, to not take shortcuts on the path to their dreams. most of them aren't offered many opportunities for it to happen, it's really just shiho and ena who have that chance; shiho with the entire event of Resonate with You and ena's combination of being the daughter of a famous artist and the illustrator for a growing musical group. but both of them turn down those short-cuts in the end, because it wouldn't be their dream as they wish it. shiho wouldn't be standing by the sides of those they made that promise with, and ena wouldn't feel like the success is actually hers at all, but rather the success of whatever name she's leaning on.

you can actually see this part of ena in a scene unrelated to her artwork, in Someday, This Wish will Transcend the Morning Sky. when mafuyu gets a call from her mother and ena decides to take over the conversation, there's a moment in it where ena thinks how she'd rather not bring him into the equation right before mentioning her father's name. she doesn't want to be associated with him, for any reason; both because of her problems with shin'ei as a person and her reservations with using the benefits she has through nepotism. she's fully aware she has that advantage, and does whatever she can to separate herself from her father to avoid having it. because it wouldn't feel like it's actually her success. it would feel like her father's success rubbing off on her.

yet, to bring this back to solid heart, despite the struggle she's facing to make a name for herself as an artist and the immense pain she faces trying to improve herself as an artist and a person, she doesn't quit. she nearly has, plenty of times; it's mentioned several times in early stories how often akito would have to step in to stop ena from throwing away and/or breaking all her art supplies and tools during her fits of anger, because he understands how important this venture is to her. he's solid heart too, his equivalent is the music he makes and performs in vivid street. he knows, firsthand, how precious the passion she has for art is, because he's been given that same drive and purpose for a different artform. ena didn't let him give up when he quit soccer, so he won't let her give up. however he can manage to do that.

there's a specifc moment in the stories of solid heart where you can see the moment they decided that giving up and backing away simply isn't an option anymore. shiho is a slight exception to this rule; there was never a moment in their story where they felt they should give up on their dream to become a professional bassist in a band, not once did they ever stop chasing that dream, for even a moment. shiho's shifts were always about how they chase that dream, with Resonate with You being the decision to not leave leo/need's side, and Don't lose faith! being the change of heart to stop holding back for the sake of the band, to let them catch up by knowing what to chase. but for airi, this happened in the more more jump main story; the recognition of minori's potential as an idol because of her refusal to simply give up, mixed with the mistake of her lashing out at shizuku when she shares the news that she'll be quitting her idol work, kicks airi back to a point of realisation of just how important to her being an idol is, and that she can't afford to just leave it behind. for akito, this happens during rad weekend; after having abandoned sports due to believing he's not dedicated enough, and ena introducing him to the world of music at the summer festival, his entire body and purpose is lit up by the emotional weight of rad weekend, giving him something to strive for and a reason to endure the constant loss that will come with chasing that dream. for nene, pieces of this occur in the wxs main story, but she's truly pushed into the unrelenting determination of solid heart with On a Holy Night, with This Singing Voice and the recognition of her potential from sakurako managing to grab at her competitive spirit and give her something to fight for; something brought to an extreme with The Canary Sings in a Quagmire as nene pushes herself harder than ever before to break down a barrier in her skill.

for ena, this moment was On This Blank Canvas, I Paint. while she never completely gave up on art before this moment, and Insatiable Pale Colour shows how much she wants to fight for her art and gives us a taste of her willingness to keep going, it pales in comparison to the scene captured in the On This Blank Canvas, I Paint untrained ena card. that moment is the decision that completely pivots the direction of ena's entire story into what she's become in modern project sekai. the decision to not look away—to stop looking away. ena is facing her art in a way she was never willing to before, a way she depicted herself in the art piece being critiqued avoiding. the ena of the past would've run away after hearing the harsh words yukihira had to say. we see, in the event, what happened the last time yukihira was harsh about ena's work: she completely broke down and it was the final straw to the shattering of her fragile self-esteem. but during the return to her art classes, which itself is a monumental step due to the pain attached to them, ena made the decision to stop running away. to take whatever yukihira had to say about her art and make it matter, make it have an impact on her growth as an artist. so she sits there, all the memories of the suffering she's gone through fresh on her mind and burning into her, and takes in the criticism. she doesn't fight back like she always had with 25ji, she doesn't look away like she did the last time. these are her failures, and she needs to take responsibility for them. because that's the only way to fix them.

On This Blank Canvas, I Paint also gives us a lot of insight into ena's relationship with shin'ei. not necessarily as much as Insatiable Pale Colour does, since that's a proper introduction to and exploration of their dynamic as both father and daughter and from artist to artist, but On This Blank Canvas, I Paint gives us the invaluable context around the moment that broke their relationship. how much ena had been going through already, how excited she was to continue chasing art, the way shin'ei completely shot her down from the high of being praised by yukihira—something we learn in that event is exceptionally rare—and the actions the next day of yukihira unintentionally confirming for ena everything shin'ei said. that, as she was then, she would never survive or succeed as an artist.

something i don't see really any recognition or mention of is just how much of a part yukihira had to play in ena's collapsed mental health. he was the one to convince her that she could make it by giving her praise, something that ena has always been attached and attracted to because of the lifelong emotional neglect of shin'ei. her receiving that praise from someone she looked up to as a professional and understood that the praise itself is a rarity from him resulted in a complete overblowing of ena's ego, the instant belief that she has what it takes and would be able to make it into and survive art schools with ease. that bubble is popped by shin'ei's words, the outright disapproval of her dream and doubt in her ability to chase that dream (at least, that's how ena takes it; we learn later on that isn't what shin'ei intended to happen). then, the following day, during a very fragile moment where she's reliant on the approval of a professional, yukihira continues to tear ena down with the statement that she'd never make it as an artist if all she looks for is praise. an echoed, if more specific, sentiment to shin'ei's own words. it breaks her. ena would probably be in a much better mental state, though still fragile, were it just shin'ei that knocked her down. but yukihira kicked her while she was down. and that proved to be too much.

i understand why yukihira gets less attention from the fandom, since ena's own story has a stronger focus on what shin'ei did to her than what yukihira did, and what shin'ei did is ultimately the one ena's mind has attached to as evident by the constant flashes to his words in her earlier stories and the entire nightmare sequence of And Now, This Ribbon is Tied, which i can hardly blame her for finding shin'ei's actions more damaging. despite the evidently bad parenting shin'ei has done for either shinonome, even before The SceneTM (akito had it is in his mind that success is impossible without talent even before finding music, and there's a lot of little details across side-stories that imply shin'ei has never been the most attentive father: my favourite of which being ena pushing him into a lake during a camping trip because he wasn't paying enough attention to her. the shinonomes appear to be really bad at communicating and even processing their own feelings, even before the moment ena and shin'ei's relationship fully collapsed, and i think a lot of it comes down to shin'ei being a neglectful and borderline absent father for both of them), ena clearly trusted and believed in shin'ei opinions as both her father and a professional artist by the way she used to study his work to improve her own, the way she went to him for advice on what art school to pick. shin'ei's action was ultimately a betrayal of all of that trust, and i personally believe their relationship is impossible to mend after that, at least to a degree that the shinonome household will be a safe space for either child again (unfortunately, i'm speaking from experience).

i had more to say and if it comes back to me i might reblog with even more yapping but i've completely lost my train of thought due to being distracted and cannot bring it back for the life of me. so i'm just posting this now. have fun ena fans

[mymarifae]

1,10, 34, 16,17 and 40

I'm so so sorry if that's too much I just really like hearing you talk/reading your stuff

it's not too much at all omg!! feel free to ask all the questions you'd like ^^ 💗

1. What got you into project sekai?

my friend jewel :) he got into it like... around global release, i think. and had been posting about it and drawing art and i was like "i'm interested" but never got around to downloading it until one night after a sudden ER trip. because that sucked and i wanted game on my phone as a reward

10. What's a feature (or several) you want?

i'd kind of like a mode where you can practice specific parts of songs... i don't think this is necessarily practical or realistic but i still want it. playing through all of a song when the part i need practice on is like at the very end sucks so bad. also i want to be able to use stamps on the loading screen for co-op shows

... that's all i can think of agjdbfjd

16 done!

17. First 3* you pulled?

well idk what the actual first 3* i ever pulled was because i restarted both my en and jp accounts but

these 2 <3

already did 34!

40. A hot take?

cracks knuckles

kanada tenma is a bad headcanon and i need people to drop it

harumichi does not belong in the shitty parents squad with mafuyu's mom and shinei. hell i'd argue that shinei doesn't necessarily belong there either but i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really do not like shinei so i'm not going to defend him. like agkdjgbf prsk fans are so bad at handling nuance like yes harumichi abused toya - but toya has chosen to forgive him and wants him in his life. despite it all he loves his dad and he knows that his dad loves him too. and this is a relationship he wants to keep and that's OKAY!!!! harumichi has seen the error of his ways and is making an effort to be a better, more accepting, open-minded father. parent-child relationships get fucking COMPLICATED and harumichi and toya's is a really realistic, really nicely written example of that complexity. i see a lot of myself and my mom in them - it's nice to have that represented. but it sucks to see the fandom just like refuse to understand it 😐

95% of the "siblings" headcanons in this fandom feel like a way to preserve mlm ships and make them seem like the only viable option. like you guys are taking every girl in the boys' lives and going "they're siblings!!!!!" so the only "reasonable" thing left to ship is akitoya and ruikasa. like i Swear To God people only get so so so defensive and forceful with headcanoning akito and an, akito and kohane, rui and nene, rui and emu, and emu and tsukasa as siblings because they feel threatened by the fact that these duos do have realistic, healthy romantic chemistry and they need to reinterpret it as something else lest their yaoi ship be tarnished. idk. the damage yaoi brain has done to our society is fascinating

on that note. from an objective standpoint. emurui and ruinene and emukasa have more canonical chemistry than ruikasa does it's just everyone gravitates to that because it's BoyxBoy. there i said it.

emu parallels mafuyu more than tsukasa ever will people just project emu's problems onto tsukasa because they'd rather think about a boy

an exists beyond liking kohane a lot like she has other friends and personality traits. and she's the farthest thing from a "mean lesbian" she's one of the sweetest characters in the game. she and akito are not wlw/mlm hostility. i'm tired of that joke being toted around because people are taking it as canon and they don't bother to understand their friendship as it actually is

ena is not a bad sister. if you're going to say that you have to say akito is a bad brother. like go on. do it. say it 😐 yeah no one wants to say That. "but she scratches him that makes her abusive" 1. not anymore 2. i don't think you have siblings. sometimes siblings fight and hurt each other it's not... god i hate it here. "she yells at him" he yells at her that's how siblings are sometimes. especially in Difficult Households. "she's mean to him" he's mean to her too bitch 😭 look back at what i just said. and while they're jerks to each other SOMETIMES they make a point to take care of each other and go out of their way to do nice things and they actively spend time together (if akito really did not want to go to cafes and the mall with her, he wouldn't go. he's bigger than her. she can't pick him up and drag him there. he whines about it but he does like to spend time with her. and she doesn't have to ask him either like. like. i think only children need to not speak on the dynamics of ena and akito's relationship.)

wxs has the worst music in the game. both covers and commissions wise. i'm so serious i'm tired of people saying that it's amazing just because they like the characters like come on stop lying to me and yourself. it's okay to say emu and tsukasa's vocal direction is FUCKED

the best music in the game is either more more jump or leo/need

mizuki isn't your agender neutral androgynous nonbinary icon. she's explicitly transfem. she's a trans girl.

[tokusaatsus]

adkndown right?? like i love smoogi sm id want to be the cause of both his pain and comfort /j

but okay hear me out, so like you know how all of the oddballs were like broken by the war?? imagine if reader had it so bad that they just straight up had their idol dreams completely shattered, they leave the school and never talk to anyone again?? even the oddballs they consider family aren't enough

but honestly, worst case scenario, imagine reader being not-alive by the end of the war,, like yeah i get that death is easy angst fuel but hear me out

lots of students were unalived during that war, but just imagine the sheer amount of guilt tsumugi would feel if THAT happened to you of all people? reader, one of the few people that treat him like a person and not a punching bag or a tool?? and by his own hand, he ended not just their dreams, but their life?!

ofc this guilt would extend to everyone, but let's talk specifically about natsume (😈)

so like we know how in canon, the other oddballs basically covered for him so that he wouldn't be a target in the war right? so just imagine how he'd feel, knowing that you quite literally gave your life for him??

reader, a close friend and someone he loved like a sibling as a fellow oddball, he has eternal gratitude for your sacrifice, but deep down he blames himself just as much as tsumugi

what if he was stronger? what if he was better and didn't need protecting?? would you still have had to offer your life just so he could continue living??? like natsume is smart enough to know it really isn't his fault and it never will be, but that gnawing guilt would definitely hang around him??

and then just imagine natsume working day in and out in his magic, trying to find out a way to see you again, even just to say his thanks?? he would forego sleep and eating in his pursuit of seeing you again?!

and then later down the line when he develops the switch vr system, i'd imagine he'd tinker with it constantly for that same goal, with his alchemy and magic it might have been impossible, but with virtual reality he might finally get to see you again??

and when he eventually succeeds, i imagine the first thing he'd do is make your vr model be an audience member to one of his concerts?? like as a sort of

"thank yOU. it's because of you that i can stand on this sTAGE."

JDOENCOEMW??!!! i wrote a lot more than i thought i would 😭😭 i kind of want to think about how the others would be in this scenario too 🥹

-angst 🫡

oh my god that was sooo ???? i swear im bawling my eyes out fr?!?!?! like moogi would totally feel regret and probably hate himself for putting that target on ur back.

AND OH GOD YEAH.... we know the put the su*cide monument for all the idols who died during the war and imagine if like. ur just another name on the list???

like–how would moogi + oddballs (esp natsume!) feel knowing that u made the ultimate sacrifice for them and all anyone will ever remember u as is the fallen 6th oddball....

god the feels....natsume just found u and then he lost u again... LIKE do u ever realise the oddballs didn't know each other for very long?? and yet their bond was so strong.....

OH OH THE VR THING??? chefs kiss. i was actually thinking smth like. the sekai in prsk where ur a virtual singer??? or like. an approximation of urself natsume created??? and ur there to give advice like vbs meiko??? like an older sibling figure....

angst have u ever considered starting a blog??? i would totally binge all ur pieces ur brain is soooooo ?!@!@#?!?#>@!@?!@?!!!>!>>! chefs kiss frfr