#proud that this isn’t against what i already said about this ng+

[soloavengers]

I headcanon that Pathfinder is at least slightly NG+ cycle aware, as in aware of the energy coming out of Syl & the odd thing about his pawn. To ensure the cycle each subsequent Syl would kind of already be chosen as Arisen. By the third time, it’s impossible for Pathfinder to ignore and let him be. So they intervene with the pawn summoning, which had them get involved with the Dragon cult his missing brother got thrown in. A pawn they can use to stop this from happening one more world.

[logical-little-lies]

“We’re Proud of You, Little Prince.”- Little Vlogs (Chapter Nine)

A/N: I'm sorry I don't update this story enough I'm t r Y I NG y'all. Please leave comments/send asks with your thoughts on this chapter if you'd like too!

Chapter Summary: Patton and Roman regress together while filming a video. Roman accidentally upsets Patton by beating the boy in a coloring challenge, and he helps Patton as best as he can. When the video is over and done with, Virgil and Logan express how proud they are of him through praise and affection.

--

Logan stood behind the camera tripod, filming Patton and Roman. It seemed that over time, Patton's video-making process evolved to include the other three men more and more.

It also seemed that Roman and Virgil never wanted to leave Patton's house. They stayed there most of the week, and even began to adapt to helping Patton and Logan with things like chores and cooking around the house. Roman and Virgil both had clothes and hygiene items stored in the home, and they often had issues where they'd leave important things at Patton's house. Considering the fact that Virgil, Roman, and Logan all work together, them staying over during a work week was easily manageable.

Patton got sad whenever the three other boys left, but each of them would give him a quick kiss and tell him they'd see him later. If he was little, he'd get a kiss on the forehead, and a reminder from Logan to text him if he needed anything. Leaving Little Patton alone was easily one of Logan least favorite things about working, he knew he could trust Patton to remain in a partially big headspace to do things himself, but it was still worrying. Knowing Patton was simply thinking like a child, and he was left alone. But Patton always insisted that it was completely fine, that he could be his babyish self without extra help.

Patton huffed, throwing his crayon down on his coloring book and crossing his arms. Virgil seemed fairly shocked by this action. Patton and Roman sat in front of the couch on the carpet, coloring in coloring books for some challenge. They were being timed, both of them using the same coloring book. They'd agree on a page to do, and then start the round. Virgil and Logan were the judges, they'd talk and agree on a vote of who did the best, and they'd get the point for that round.

Patton was growing more and more frustrated as each round passed, Roman winning each time. Patton couldn't stay inside the lines, his crayons kept breaking, and on top of all that, Virgil suggested that they shortened the time limit so that the rounds went by quicker. It was like they were plotting against him or something.

Or maybe, he was falling into toddlerspace and his mind was perceiving the situation a million times more dramatically then it actually was.

Logan let out a small gasp, zooming the camera into Patton's face before talking. "Is the baby throwing a fit?" he was only teasing, but the boy pouted, uncrossing his arms. Patton immediately pulled his sweater sleeves over his hands, giving himself sweater paws (something he stole from Virgil). He continued on to use said sweater paws to cover his face shyly.

Virgil paused the timer on his phone, looking at Roman. Roman dropped his crayon, resting his hands on the table. "Oh, Patton. I'm sorry, I was only teasing," Logan apologized quickly, Patton looking up behind the camera and nodding. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Logan spoke softly, in a comforting voice that made Patton feel a bit better. It was easy to tell that Patton was upset, mostly frustrated, with a game that seemed impossible to win.

Virgil scooted closer to Patton, so that he was behind him. He hesitantly reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it a bit. Patton seemed started by the sudden touch, but he let go of the tenseness from his body. Virgil moved from the couch to the floor, sitting next to Patton instead. Patton uncovered his face, looking at Logan before replying.

"I'm losing, Daddy! M' bad at this and my crayons keep breaking and I can't color good and-" he stumbled over his words, taking just a second to catch his breath before continuing on with his rambling. "and I wanna give up, it's too much." he paused, pushing the coloring book away from him, "Don't like it."

"If you don't like losing challenges, maybe you shouldn't have us do them for videos." Roman commented, Virgil looking at Roman around Patton's head. Roman wasn't little, but Virgil still gave him a stern look.

"He's usually fine with challenges, but today he's obviously little and more emotional. That isn't his fault and you aren't gonna treat him like it is, Roman." Virgil was quick to reply, and Roman immediately looked down.

"Sorry, Vee. And Pat." He quickly muttered an apology before Logan spoke. "It's alright, Roman. I think Patton's just a bit overwhelmed." Logan assured, Roman nodding before Patton made grabby hands, reaching for affection from the man behind the camera. "Baby, I'm recording this video for you!" Logan reminded. Patton pouted, looking about ready to cry at this point.

"Patton, no! Look, look, look! I help you color!" Roman pulled the coloring book back so that it was closer to Patton, pushing his pile of crayons over so that  they mixed with Patton's pile. No one could care less about whether the crayons stayed separated or not. Patton was distracted, watching what Roman was doing.

Roman was talking openly in a sweet toddler-like voice, he probably felt bad for upsetting Patton so much and overwhelming him. Now, he just wanted to make it all better.

Logan and Virgil thought it was sweet, so they simply watched it play out. Roman felt bigger then Patton did, by far, but still little. Roman looked at the barely-colored page Patton had started, a page with a animated cupcake and lots of hearts on it. Patton had tried to color in a heart, and went a bit outside the lines, which is what lead him to throw his pastel-pink crayon down in frustration.

"what color do you want the hearts to be, Patton?" Roman asked softly, guiding him by separating the reds, oranges, and pinks from the rest of the crayons. Patton was distracted, no longer reaching for hugs from his caregiver, but following whatever Roman was saying. Virgil turned off his phone, it was obvious that they weren't gonna go back to the challenge now.

Patton softly pointed to a pink crayon, looking up at him. "Okay, you do pinks, and I'll do reds. We'll do the hearts first," Roman explained, picking out the shade of pink that Patton wanted, along with a few others (Logan got Patton the large pack, there were many shades of pink.) Then, Roman got himself the red crayons.

"Which hearts do you want me to do?" Roman asked, not wanting to take over to much. Patton shrugged, so Roman ended up making the choice anyways. "Okay! So the ones I put a dot on are the ones I'm doing, and the rest are yours, okay?" Patton seemed to understand, already grabbing a crayon and starting.

As they went, Roman reminded him that he didn't need to rush. He showed him his technique of outlining darkly and filling in the inside. Patton's wasn't quite as good, but he still did okay. Logan still filmed, not sure if Patton would scrap the video or not. Either way, it was cute and he wanted the video even if Patton didn't post it.

By the time they were done with the page, Patton was rubbing at his eyes sleepily. "We just gotta end the video sweetheart, then you can take a nap." Logan reminded. Patton didn't even attempt to say his outro, sleepily waving at the camera.

"Bye bye!" he giggled a bit, Logan shutting off the camera after his final adorable remark. Logan went off to put the sleepy little down for a nap, and Virgil busied himself by talking to Roman, who moved to sit on the couch.

"Hello, darling. How do you feel?" Virgil questioned, sitting next to him and lightly wrapping his arm around him.

"Small," Roman replied quickly, settling his head into his chest and curling up next to him.

"Yeah? Well you're very cute when your small." Virgil chuckled, before speaking again. "Y'know, jumping in and helping Patton color was very nice of you." he praised, and Roman smiled a bit.

"Really?" he asked, sitting up a bit to look at his purple-haired caregiver.

"Yeah, he was upset and you helped him calm down. It was really kind, Little One." Virgil smiled at him. Logan came down the stairs at that moment, and grinned at the sweet sight that was Roman cuddling with Virgil.

"He passed out the moment I tucked him into bed. He was asleep after a single forehead kiss." he chuckled, coming and sitting down on the other side of Roman. "And while the baby is asleep, we have a slight older kiddo to care for, isn't that right?" he looked over Roman's head with a knowing smile, Virgil returning it.

"Yeah, I was just telling that kiddo all about how proud I am of him for helping Patton." Virgil gave a slight nod, looking down with a smile at the boy cuddled up to him.

"Pwoud of me?" Roman mumbled happily, in a slightly littler voice than before.

"Of course, you did such a good job!" Virgil played into the fact that he was regressing younger, praising him. Roman squealed, burying his head into his carers chest once more.

"Awe, is the Little Prince feeling a bit tinier?" Logan teased a bit, reaching over and softly running his fingers through his hair. Virgil heard a light whine, and though he couldn't see his face, he knew he was pouting into his chest.

"He just being shy because we're telling him how good of baby he is, aren't you baby?" Virgil took over the job of running his fingers through Roman's hair once Logan pulled his hand away. Roman sat up, bringing his thumb to his mouth with a soft pout.

"No, no, no. That's not good for you, sweetheart." Logan corrected him by lightly pulling his hand away from his mouth. Roman seemed confused, a look of childlike innocence and wonder taking over his face. "Would you like to try one of the pacifiers you made? We said a while ago that you'd try it and you never did." Logan pointed out. He glanced at Virgil who nodded.

Roman hummed a bit, now leaning into Virgil's side, but not cuddling into him or burying his head into his chest. "Okay, I'll go get some stuff for you, alright? But I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I'm proud of you for helping Patton. You did a good job." Logan gave him a warm smile that made Roman feel so happy. He giggled lightly when Logan kissed his forehead.

Logan got up, going back up the stairs to retrieve the little gear he mentioned before. After a few moments, Virgil spoke real soft, continuing to play with Roman's hair as the boy seemingly enjoyed that form of affection.

"Did you hear that, baby boy? We're proud of you, Little Prince."

Logan and Virgil spent a little while after this babying Roman, until he eventually fell asleep. Patton woke up before Roman did, and sat down to watch a movie. Roman woke up too and joined in on the movies and cuddles.

Maybe the four of them were new to being in romantic situation with more than one partner, maybe the littles were adjusting to having multiple carers right there for them all the time. But even though it was new to them, they were adjusting well. Becoming closer and building their four way bond.

How much longer until they put a title on this relationship of theirs?

--

A/N: I will try and start updating this story more I promise! please give me feedback!!

Taglist: @stimmingsides @smollilsanderssides @novacloudcat @analogical-agere @fairyhuman2000 @aphandgflover@softastarlight @littlesapphygem @softflowerinmyheart @virgietheprincess @babeyalstar @b3an-spr0ut @babeyvoid @because-were-fam-ily @lonelysoul43-0 @lgbtqiaemo

[wecouldbelongtogether]

Not your typical love story because a girl woke up and fell in love with a gay sweetheart. It's a tough journey.

I'm a bisexual girl who happens to like girls a lot. I had two ex girlfriends and zero boyfriends in the past though I dated a few guys too. For the past years, some people considered me as lesbian already as my interest in men almost hit the rock bottom while women gets my attention effortlessly. As I get to meet more people and evaluate myself, I kinda realize maybe I'm demisexual or something. It's so easy to be interested with anyone but it's a different story to fall in love with someone.

I have this circle of friends at school called marupokswhom I am badly attached and close to. We go on adventures together, share little secrets, get drunk, sneak out, cry together and I have to say that there is one special person in my circle, let's name him 'K'.

Let's drop the bomb, K is gay. Not the guy looking gay but he is very gay. The moment he speaks, the moment he moves, the moment you hear him, you know he is that gay. So cute.

In our circle, we have bisexual guys too who acts feminine too but I have to say that K is the girliest of them all, maybe even girlier than the other real girls in our squad lol. Still cute.

K and I? We weren't really close. We share jokes — he is witty and very funny — and stories and hang out but we're not that tight. If you leave us together in a room — just us — there might be some awkward silence. You know?

I don't really pay attention to him that much, he was just a normal school friend before though there are times he is there drinking with me and some of our mutuals, he heard my tragic story about my ex girlfriend, he heard the complicated stuffs about me and my love life and my mind bleh. He's a good listener in my opinion, but then one day I woke up and asked myself: He always listen, not just to me but to each of the squad's stories, but did I ever try to listen to him? That's the time I started to notice him.

His eyelashes are so long, his skin glows, it fascinates me to stare at him when he talks. Our squad is composed of about 11 members so it's kinda hard to speak in big groups, some won't pay attention, some gets distracted, some may not even know you're speaking but when he speaks, I try my best to listen. And then I knew a little bit about his story.

He's either sleeping or laughing or smiling. But then behind those happy and sleepy bean, there is another book.

A broken family that he keeps wishing to be complete again. Struggles in life to survive this cruel world. He needed to work while studying to help his family and himself. Jeez. I can't imagine myself being in such situation considering that I am so lazy and my family are well and stable, we never really had financial problems or anything related to that.

I remember what K said, he was like the mother and father to his own family. Masyadong maaga pa but he had no choice. Sucks. Now he works at a fast food chain — Jollibee, my favorite, lol!

You know what's so fascinating about it? He loves his work. I don't think it's just because of the money he earns from it but he is that appreciative kind of person. Maybe he appreciates his colleagues, his manager, the fast food chain itself, the operations, the memories that he learned to naturally love what he is doing. Imagine that? Instead of cursing and going like "Hay nako may duty nanaman ako." He goes like "May duty ako." There's a difference.

I can feel his passion and care for the place he works on. It's amusing and sweet at the same time. He is really appreciative of things — very.

He also do sidelines to earn, that's so diligent of him. I remember him selling coin banks. Ang sipag samantalang ako tamad tamad. Lol! He is also a student council treasurer of our school's organization ACES-PICE. Btw, he won the elections by a super landslide (I'm so proud! He deserves all the votes yessssss!!) He hosts civil engineering events on our school too even without any talent fee — just love. Ain't he the nicest?

Last year, November 2018 we had a ball and he hosted it. He had a co-host and it irked me to hear that there was an instance where a student officer handed a food for his co-host and had nothing for K. Jesus. What the actual fuck? She even asked K to hand the food to his co-host.

Man, I saw all K's efforts for that whole week, for that whole event, he hosted the event without asking for any fee but to treat him like that, like "Wag ka na bigyan ng pagkain, sayang budget."

Where's the appreciation? Where's the consideration.

Ano ba naman yung kahit food nalang oh. Sick. Don't get me wrong but that student officer is a trash. Sorry not sorry. I'm so angry lol.

As a busy officer that night, I still managed to eat at the buffet, K was so occupied with the hosting and the only time he was able to munch something was when I brought my plate backstage and he had a few bites of my food. I hate that I wasn't able to do anything for him that time. Ugh.

After that night, I appreciated him more as a person. I didn't have heavy feelings yet but I barely noticed that the path I was taking was on the way there.

I started with throwing banats and cheesy jokes on him on our group chat. Our friends laugh at us a lot because I am their friend that they can't imagine being with a guy more because I AM THAT INTO GIRLS FOR ALMOST MY WHOLE LIFE and K is so gay that he's like created by the heavens for a guy. Then it went on and on then one day I realized, I really like this person.

I went crazy. I locked myself in a room and evaluated myself and my feelings. Maybe I'm lost? It's just a crush but no it wasn't JUST a crush. I kept it for myself for a while. I never saw it coming — me liking a friend who is gay who is biologically a man. That is like against all my rules and against the norm.

I remained silent. I didn't want to make things awkward but people were right. The more you hide what you feel, the more it demands to manifest.

Then I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell someone about it and I told one of the marupoks, Abbi, about it (love her). She was startled because as I've said, it was against all my rules and the norm but she is the most understanding and open minded person in our group, she knew how great K is and there is literally nothing not to like about him.

Then I continued to keep all my feelings to myself. Some of the squad started to ask me who am I blushing to, who is my crush but I kept it hidden and when I drop K's name, they won't take it seriously. I thought it was a good coincidence.

I gave him a polo top as a Christmas gift from H&M. I thought of buying it because I remember one time he showed me a polo top from a shop (I forgot) and he looked so amused by it. Hindi naman siya maluho that's why I thought it wouldn't hurt to buy him something he can use and might like, right?

Man, it's been ages since I felt that feeling. You know? Going to a mall and thinking what is a good thing to buy for him? This looks good on him? He might like this. I forgot myself and that's so rare.

My friends think I'm joking whenever I put efforts for K but the truth is I'm actually expressing. I thought maybe K would find it as a joke too because I've been very playful with him ever since but then as days go by, I don't know if I'm getting off guard or if he is just that sensitive to notice. Some of them started to worry about me.

Baka masaktan ka.

'pag ikaw umiyak—

Control control lang.

I always tell them he's just my happy crush but I knew I was in love.

HOW WEIRD IS MY LOVE FOR K?

I knew I was when I thought about rejection but I was ready for the pain he might cause and I wasn't afraid of it. I knew I was in love when I didn't care if he tells me he doesn't feel the same way because the only thing I want is for him to know.

I didn't want him to know because I want to oblige him to love me back or to pressure him to reciprocate what I do, I just wanted him to know that there is someone believing in him, there is someone appreciating him, there is someone out there loving him for who he is because that's what he deserves.

You deserve all the love in the world.

I always tell him.

He said he was so touched when I said it to him the first time but I always wonder why nobody has told him that yet or why isn't there anyone reminding him that? Jesus. He's so wonderful, it hurts.

Ever since I had my heart broken from my first girlfriend, I've been very wary of the people I date and people I get interested to. My walls went so high, I may get interested but when I see one flaw in the person I date, I tend to just choose giving up and stopping everything because I was traumatized by my past. I was destroyed when I gave almost everything to my former love, courted her for half a year even if she was straight. Nabasted for a couple of times but I thought she was worth the struggles, I won her but then she just ended up cheating on me after being with me for two years. I just find it hard to be interested with someone and trust them completely. I was tainted, I had trust issues with everyone thinking they will just all end up hurting me like my ex.

I dated a lot of people but honestly, I haven't felt the strong admiration I had for my ex to anyone until K came along. He was special, even I was surprised.

Akala ko di na ako makakafeel ng ganitong kilig, ganitong devotion and determination for someone. I even wrote a song for him. He inspired me that much.

Man, I have so much words for him. He is perfectly imperfect and I love his assets and flaws — I don't mind seeing more.

We already talked face to face.

He said he thinks I'm out of his league. I'm above him, he said. Then I told him "Eh I'm looking up to you." Hoping he'll realize that I am not in anyway out of his league and he is wonderful, don't he ever dare to put himself down.

He said he doesn't deserve me, I deserve someone better because he's just him. Common line but I know my worth. I know what I deserve but put me out of the picture — YOU are the one who deserve so much more. You're amazing.

He said when he knew that I liked him he was surprised, he couldn't believe it. Then when I started to be vocal and showy about my feelings, he had no choice but to take it in and he confessed that it overwhelms him to have someone to put so much effort on him and he just couldn't help but think of how to return the feelings, efforts and gifts. I told him I don't need him to return all of that, I don't need him to think HOW to reciprocate and return all of it, I just want him to think WHY I do all of those efforts and WHY I give him all those appreciation and surprises. Simple. Because he deserves to be treated that way, he deserves to be loved that way, he deserves to be spoiled that way.

He deserves more and all.

He once smiled with a face of disbelief as if everything he's hearing was surreal, then he asked me bakit ako? Then I laughed because I couldn't believe he had to ask why? Is life that shit to him that he doesn't know how wonderful he is? I replied bakit hindi? He was silenced. I hope he realized his worth, bakit nga ba hindi?

Then I looked at him in the eye and told him how most of the people close to the both of us ask me why do I like him, it's weird, it's unusual but then I told him alam mo kung ano sagot ko? He asked what? I told him: What is not to like about him? What is not to like?

He once told me he is afraid to take risk and he doesn't want to take risk because things might go out of hand and he doesn't wanna hurt anyone or me. I told him it's okay. He can reject me that very moment face to face and I will accept it. I told him I might be even proud na nabasted ako ng isang katulad niya knowing how great he is. I won't be ashamed of it. He is really something to be proud of. Best thing I never had.

I told him not to worry about me. If he doesn't like me back that's okay. I saw it coming already, I was half ready for it. I won't be lying but that shit hurts but what is pain? It heals and when it heals,it leaves scars and scars remind us of lessons.

I'm so enchanted. I'm in the state of wanting him so bad but I won't complain if I won't for as long as he is happy. I don't care if he reciprocates the love or not for as long as I see him smile. My walls are down for him, kahit masaktan okay lang, I'm such a masochist but the pain he is inflicting on me reminds me that I still feel and I still know what love is — thank you for that.

I have no bad words for K. I'll stick to my words. He is wonderful and I know whenever I get hurt because of him, it wasn't his intention. His intentions are pure, I trust him so much that my guards are all down.

I admit it hurts me to think one day he might find someone else but then on a second thought, I won't mind because seeing him happy is at the top of my list — masasaktan lang naman ako for a while pero at least siya forever na masaya if he finds his perfect pair, what's so bad about that?

Nevertheless, after all the talks, I knew the feeling wasn't mutual and that's okay. I told him you can reject me everyday but I won't stop putting efforts for you. Just because he didn't feel the same way for me ibig sabihin he became less wonderful? E he deserves all the love nga 'di ba? Why stop? Just because nasaktan naging hypocrite?

K is worth pursuing, K is worth fighting for.

I think he lost words already and he knew there is no way to change my mind about him so he just told me to just stay and we'll try to get through it without being weird around each other. I agreed. Kinda hard at first but kakayanin dahil yon ang gusto ni crush. I'm just a puppy. Jk.

I told him to just let me appreciate him because I'm happy, if he's in the state just not being ready, I can wait for him but alongside, I promised him that I'll stop when he finds his perfect man — I won't interfere, I'll let go, life goes on. In return, I asked him to promise me to choose the one who will treat him the way he deserves.

NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS, K! YOU DESERVE ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD. :)

[royalcordelia]

Can’t You Hear the Wild Music? (6/7)

Summary: When the Great War sweeps away all of Canada’s able young men, Anne and Gilbert must endure leaving one another and gain the strength to fulfill their duties. A story told through narrative and letters.

Rated T • 1.6k words • Read the entire work on Ao3 • Start at Part 6

December 24th, 1915

Dear Mrs. Blyt

Dear Miss Shirley,

I know it must be strange to be receiving a letter from your husband’s Officer Blythe’s superior, but that lad has done an awful amount of good in the ranks and...Well, I suppose I thought I owed it to him.

Ma’am, you’ll have to forgive me. I don’t know what happened to him. This note was found on the floor underneath one of the sick beds in a medical tent nearly twenty miles away from where I’m currently stationed. The poor lad addressed it to you, but sent it here. From the few brief sentences I’ve read, I’d have to guess that he was in a fever when he wrote this - delusional and raving in pain and heartache. I wish I could have delivered you a letter with corners that weren’t stained with blood.

It is my sincerest hope that Officer Blythe is okay, wherever he is. But in case he isn’t, I wanted you to have this last letter.

Signed,

James Simard M.D.

Sweet love of mine, I’m home. We have chosen the perfect little house. I’m going to put the mare in and then I’ll be in shortly. Pour me some tea, will you? My head aches some horrible. I just keep hearing this horrible cannonade in my head, and I can’t figure out where it’s come from but hiding in the trenches doesn’t make it any

Yours is a beautiful face to come home to, Anne. All pale in the moonlight like a goddess high on Mount Olympus. You look breathtaking standing in the window frame, gazing down at me in my wagon. Are you made of ivory? Do all doctors get greeted with such a sight. I wonder, is our bedroom cold when I'm not home? Have the housekeeper keep the hearth flame going. I'll have Bash drop off more firewood so you're not cold this weekend. There's a woman expecting twins and I anticipate I'll be at her side until they're safe and born. I don't quite remember who she is, or where she lives, but…she's due any day now! I think her house is down in that lane of trenches, but its so unclean down there. I wonder if anyone went and got Johnny Trumbel’s body yet, or if I need to send out Nurse Josie to

That's alright, sweetheart, I can hang my own coat up. You're an attentive partner to me. Do I serve you as dutifully, sweet one? I try to. I try and try and try and

You've set the table so nicely, darling. Marilla would be so proud. Let me cook tomorrow so you can sit on the porch of this house of dreams and watch the shortest sunset of the year all snug

Oh, my leg does hurt something terrible.

Have you gone ahead and invited Mrs. Rachel Lynde over for tea yet? Yes yes we had her over for tea when we first moved, that’s right. Oh, now my leg is bleeding something terrible. Must’ve happened on the ride home after that no good Hun came after me with his rifle and it’s terrible manners to shoot at a doctor! - wait, that isn’t right. I was coming right from Mr. Sloane’s house to see after his gallbladder. Poor man suffers terribly. Just terribly. Oh Anne, my leg does hurt. Get some towels to help me with the bleeding.

Look at this! All our children in bed. If Doctor Simard wasn’t so blessed busy, I’d have him examine at this leg for me. He’d check for shrapnel and help prevent infection, and I’d do it, but I keep forgetting and that’s why Johnny Trumbell died and

I want to name the next child Anne, after you. And if it’s a young lad, Anthony. Or Anton. No, I don’t suppose I like the name Anton quite the same way I like Anne. Andrew is nice. And Anderson. But I do want another little girl, so if it is a girl, just name her Anne. We can call her Nan. Oh, darling, she’ll be just as beautiful as you. How will this weak, poor heart take it?

This old leg is no good anymore. Oh - I suppose that’s okay because it’s gone anyways. I’m a little warm and I can’t walk to get myself a glass of water downstairs. Could you fetch it for me? I know you married a whole man and you don’t desire this broken, legless, no good shell of a doctor. I’ll understand if you want to leave me. It’ll kill me, but I’ll understand. If it weren’t for that gun and the gas tank and

You’ve got a good imagination, Anne. Do you suppose you could imagine I’m all in one piece?

I’m a wfully tired,     dar   li ng. I can’t keep  these old ey e s open. I l ov e   you.

G oo dnight.

Anne placed the letter on her lap, and ran her fingers over the torn edges that were smeared with blood and soot. She hadn’t been sure what to expect when they received the letter in the mail. She feared the worst when it first slipped into her fingers, noting the official return address of a soldier who wasn’t Gilbert. What other business could a man have to send her letters if it wasn’t that Gilbert had…

She sucked in a deep breath and frantically glanced down at the letter again. His fine script was there, albeit slanted and smudged, but his nonetheless. The lack of coherence and the hanging sentences without proper endings were both a blessing a curse.

He had been alive. Fairly recently too! But for how long?  

“Anne, what is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Marilla asked, coming into the parlor, drying her hands on a towel.

“Well - I, uh…” This had been happening more frequently in recent days. With Anne’s head too gray with worry and inevitable grief, there was no room for big words or even full sentences. She swallowed, and tried again. “I received a letter.”

“I thought we agreed that Matthew would fetch the mail,” Marilla said in her stern tone, an underlying worry dripping in. The color had dropped from her face into her feet.

“Yes, that was the agreement,” Anne murmured. “I just...had a feeling I should get it today.”

Silence fell between them. Marilla wasn’t sure how she should ask. Anne had barely any words left in her to explain.

“Have you found the answers you were looking for?” Marilla asked finally. Anne’s mind screamed a dozen new questions with every second. To which one, then? - she wondered. But then she caught sight of the fear on Marilla’s face, and dread settled into her stomach. There was only one thing they feared over with so much dedication - one person.

“I don’t know,” Anne replied, handing the letter to Marilla. “I don’t know if he’s dead, or if he’s alive, or if he’s hurt. I don’t know how much of that letter was true. He says he’s missing a leg.”

Marilla read, handed the folded letter to Anne, then turned to the window.

“Blessed stars,” she cursed, or prayed, or wept. “More than a year has passed since you’ve heard from him and now this. You’ve taken on more than a single girl should endure, Anne. It’s turned you into a woman. If I could shoulder this burden for you, I would in a heartbeat.”

But Anne would not turn Marilla, who had already survived a lifetime’s worth of pain, into the Atlas of her own heartache. Perhaps it was a right of passage, to lose someone so dear to you that the absence of them doesn’t leave a hole in your heart - but rather consumes it like a hurricane or a black hole. Tosses it about in your chest until you have built up the resilience to walk through town and not feel the eyes on you and hear the whispers of “No one has heard from Gilbert Blythe in a year, that poor Anne.”

That poor Anne, indeed. That poor Anne who left her newspaper column to another aspiring writer, who could fortify herself against the constant letters of tragedy and grief. But Anne was losing strength. She wouldn’t surrender it all to her work, not when she had to stay strong until she heard about Gilbert.  

“It’s in your hands now, Margaret,” Anne had told her protege. “Be kind and empathetic. Tell the stories the way they are. Write the truth.”

Margaret had been quiet, blonde hairs poking out of her clumsy bun, until finally she said, “Can I interview you someday, Miss Shirley?”

“I sincerely hope you won’t have to,” Anne responded, knowing that there was only one way she would become a subject of her own creation. “But… If I hear that he… if… If there is something to tell, then I will tell it to you.”

The newspaper was always among the first to know of a fallen Avonlea soldier, second only to the immediate family. It printed the names in dark, morbid lists that never did anyone but bring sorrow. If she had stumbled upon Gilbert’s name by accident… If it came to that, she wanted to hear it from Sebastian and Mary first.

But it wouldn’t come to that. It wouldn’t. It wouldn-

So she left. Removed the possibility.

Anne walked out of her tiny newspaper office with a box of her things, and as she passed through the door, the inky odor of the firm melted into clean air. She inhaled heavy and deep, allowing the freezing winter air to soothe the ache in her heart and muscles. As she met Jerry, who was to drive her home, she swore to herself one thing.

She would never read the newspaper again. Not until Gilbert Blythe was home safe.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Glee  5x20 liveplurk

Yuè [glee 5x20] HOW HE HELL AM I SUPPSOED TO WATCH GLEE AFTER THAT AMAZING SWITCHED AT BIRTH EPISODE GLEE WHY CAN'T YOU BE OF THAT QUALITY HOYL SHIT PEOPEL WATCH THAT EPISODE

Yuè also, Saturday I told myself: "I'm gonna try to finish season 5 before next week Sunday" and here we are Yuè ayway Yuè time for yet another episode filled with Rachel Berry storylines I will skip Yuè I can't believe his dream was being semi naked on a bus Yuè Rachel please shut the fuck up already Yuè BRITTANY Yuè MY GIRL Yuè "where's Santana" is the biggest plot hole ever it's so stupid Yuè Mary is so stupid what the fuck glee this wasn't even bother Yuè I gotta skip this already this is so stupid I can't even Yuè MERCEDES IS GONNA GO ON TOUR Yuè this was one of the weirdest original songs ever Yuè GO FOR IT HEMO THIS IS WHY YOU ARE NOW ON DWTS Yuè aw look at Blaine trying to get a peek at Artie's filming Yuè Oh Blaine look at you Yuè You're so at home on a stage Yuè why will this show take place at NYADA for God's sake? Yuè NO BUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO JUNE AFTERWARDS Yuè Blaine looks so good in pink just saying Yuè OH THIS SONG Yuè it's also his last solo in the show Yuè uhm Blaine playing piano is the shit Yuè damn Blaine back again with those shiny red shoes Yuè but really my boy next time don't lie Yuè Remember what Emma said? Yuè brutal honesty is the key to a good relationship Yuè Kurt fucking hell next time you find your man singing an overemotinal song at a piano fucking rin Yuè I gotta skip that fight cause it was so cringe worthy and OOC Yuè I get that Kurt is upset I'd be that too but really Yuè why does every guy have to be so oversexed Yuè I haven't seen this performance in so long Yuè who the hell is that woman again Yuè I really don't like her Yuè I LOVE THAT KURT IS STILL WITH THE GIRLS Yuè this little moment with the guys gaming together is so underappreciated Yuè like. .. Artie takes Sam's controller so Sam takes Blaine's and Blaine is so offended Yuè "I'm not gonna screw it up" you will screw it up in less than an episode Yuè ah yes back again with the Rachel worshipping Yuè really Yuè Mary was not funny at all Yuè Blaine is so confused by Brittany and Mary Yuè Rachel that is so stupid like... Lea didn't even come back after glee Yuè KURT FUCKING POINTING BLAINE AWAY LIKE GTFO Yuè "I'm cert like the breath mint" Yuè I did like the Mary scenes cause it's just so stupid Yuè HASHTAG HASHTAG HASHTAG HASHTAG HASHTAG HASHTAG Yuè this was kind of disturbing Yuè Blaine's so offended by vagina Yuè COFFEE RAVE Yuè idek what Sam is doing during this rave Yuè they really wasted Brittany in this episode she's wonderful but this was not a good ep for her Yuè ah yes here is where Blaine's bird fetish started Yuè it took me way too long to appreciate this scene Yuè once upon a time there was a boy who wanted to fly Yuè SEE WHAT I DID THERE Yuè I love how Kurt understands that Blaine made a stupid mistake Yuè jesus really why did it take me so long to appreciate this scene like... 3 years??? Yuè that hug is just so beautiful Yuè "yeah pretty much" Yuè fuck this Yuè there are two Rachel solos I never listen to Yuè today Glitter In the Air started playing on the glee radio and I was like... "it's either The Rose or Glitter" cause those are the ones I don't know Yuè I'm sorry but this woman is just a sneaky cunt she knows he's committed to his girlfriend and yet he uses his vulnerability against him to make him cheat Yuè at least Sam is actually sorry instead of idk Rachel and Finn and Puck and Santana and Quinn and basically almost every character Yuè no but really that woman used her Yuè really I still cannot fucking believe they weren't endgame Yuè so do Blaine and Sam room together now? Yuè SHIT I ACTUALLY SAW THE BROADWAY TOUR OF PIPPIN IN AMSTERDAM AND I HAVE A NEW FOUND LOVE FOR THIS SONG Yuè isn't this jacket costume made and Shirley wore it to the Oscars?? Yuè and Andrea was very touched Yuè I also can't really take this seriously knowing that after this episode they forget this entire storyline existed and they will Shelby June Yuè (to Shelby: to randomly make a character disappear without reason or explanation and they will be forgotten) Yuè butch please at least Blaine is finally of that Phalanx rollercoaster Yuè the Phalanx rollercoaster is name s after his alter ego Phalanx in ATOG Grey Yuè June was kinda homophobic the entire time? ?? Yuè BLAINE MY BOY Yuè "with my one true love" you will break up next episode Yuè THIS SNG IS RIDICULOUS Yuè Oh I've seen LA Yuè why is everyone dressed so fancy except for the other glee kids Yuè shit Yuè such a handsome couple Yuè RACHEL YOU FUCKING IDIOT WHAT THE HELL ??? Yuè in the greatest city in the woooorld Yuè Sam I'm so happy and proud Yuè "the nipples are even" Yuè I was actually really surprised that Sam was done like that but it was also really reals tic Yuè Blaine's right. .. it's really the end of another era for the glee kids Yuè except for Kurt no one will show up not even Artie who still lives in the city??? Yuè "oh guys I would kill to break out in song right now" Yuè BLAINE LOOKS SO GOOD OH GOD Yuè OH HEMO AND AMBER Yuè yes Kurtcedes Yuè OH SHIT Yuè THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS I WAS ACTUALLY SCREAMING AND JUMPI NG THEY GOT HIM HIS OFFICE SPACE OH GOD Yuè ah McKinley Yuè you know even tho I have always been somewhat okay with the second Klaine break up, rewatching this made me realise that maybe... I'm not Yuè because they were doing so great Yuè look at them reading that mag together just like that domestic and happy cause that's what Klaine was in season 5b and sure I did kinda like season 6 but knowing that that will be gone in the next episode really hurts Yuè ye you're going to LA and you're going to fail and I'm gonna laugh in your face about it Yuè rip Cory Yuè ... i m actually really sad about Klaine breaking up