#promised faster diagnosis

[reasonsforhope]

"When bloodstream infections set in, fast treatment is crucial — but it can take several days to identify the bacteria responsible. A new, rapid-diagnosis sepsis test could cut down on the wait, reducing testing time from as much as a few days to about 13 hours by cutting out a lengthy blood culturing step, researchers report July 24 [2024] in Nature.

“They are pushing the limits of rapid diagnostics for bloodstream infections,” says Pak Kin Wong, a biomedical engineer at Penn State who was not involved in the research. “They are driving toward a direction that will dramatically improve the clinical management of bloodstream infections and sepsis.”

Sepsis — an immune system overreaction to an infection — is a life-threatening condition that strikes nearly 2 million people per year in the United States, killing more than 250,000 (SN: 5/18/08). The condition can also progress to septic shock, a steep drop in blood pressure that damages the kidneys, lungs, liver and other organs. It can be caused by a broad range of different bacteria, making species identification key for personalized treatment of each patient.

In conventional sepsis testing, the blood collected from the patient must first go through a daylong blood culturing step to grow more bacteria for detection. The sample then goes through a second culture for purification before undergoing testing to find the best treatment. During the two to three days required for testing, patients are placed on broad-spectrum antibiotics — a blunt tool designed to stave off a mystery infection that’s better treated by targeted antibiotics after figuring out the specific bacteria causing the infection.

Nanoengineer Tae Hyun Kim and colleagues found a way around the initial 24-hour blood culture.

The workaround starts by injecting a blood sample with nanoparticles decorated with a peptide designed to bind to a wide range of blood-borne pathogens. Magnets then pull out the nanoparticles, and the bound pathogens come with them. Those bacteria are sent directly to the pure culture. Thanks to this binding and sorting process, the bacteria can grow faster without extraneous components in the sample, like blood cells and the previously given broad-spectrum antibiotics, says Kim, of Seoul National University in South Korea.

Cutting out the initial blood culturing step also relies on a new imaging algorithm, Kim says. To test bacteria’s susceptibility to antibiotics, both are placed in the same environment, and scientists observe if and how the antibiotics stunt the bacteria’s growth or kill them. The team’s image detection algorithm can detect subtler changes than the human eye can. So it can identify the species and antibiotic susceptibility with far fewer bacteria cells than the conventional method, thereby reducing the need for long culture times to produce larger colonies.

Though the new method shows promise, Wong says, any new test carries a risk of false negatives, missing bacteria that are actually present in the bloodstream. That in turn can lead to not treating an active infection, and “undertreatment of bloodstream infection can be fatal,” he says. “While the classical blood culture technique is extremely slow, it is very effective in avoiding false negatives.”

Following their laboratory-based experiments, Kim and colleagues tested their new method clinically, running it in parallel with conventional sepsis testing on 190 hospital patients with suspected infections. The testing obtained a 100 percent match on correct bacterial species identification, the team reports. Though more clinical tests are needed, these accuracy results are encouraging so far, Kim says.

The team is continuing to refine their design in hopes of developing a fully automated sepsis blood test that can quickly produce results, even when hospital laboratories are closed overnight. “We really wanted to commercialize this and really make it happen so that we could make impacts to the patients,” Kim says."

-via Science News, July 24, 2024

[transmutationisms]

the idea that 'science' is an unmitigated and inherent social good---a politically neutral and universally beneficial process of accumulating knowledge---is wildly ahistorical and dangerously, wilfully ignorant of the role that science and its purveyors / practitioners have played in imperial and colonial expansion. warwick anderson went so far as to say that colonial medicine was better understood as a discourse of settlement than one of health promotion, & we can see this quite easily in, for example, french doctors' use of the nostalgia diagnosis to guide colonial policy in algeria in the 1830s, attempting to securely settle a french population there; or in the development of a science of 'water cures', spa treatments considered to mitigate the insalubrious effects of foreign (particularly tropical) environments, for which the french army by the 1890s granted routine medical leave because the 'health' of its soldiers was not a matter of individual interest but a state resource.

but medicine is in many ways an easy case when it comes to the relationship between science and the state; all too often we still seem reluctant to acknowledge, for example, the pursuit of economic botany and animal / plant breeding in the early modern period as contributors to discourses of acclimatisation and proto-eugenics, sciences that were given state financial support on these utilitarian grounds & not for any high-minded general pursuit of 'knowledge'; or the development of navigational instruments and knowledge from the 14th century or so onward as a project explicitly funded and intended to permit faster, cheaper, more reliable colonial exploration and travel; or the sheer amount of research in physics and chemistry that has been and is devoted to weapons development or natural resource extraction; or the promise of space travel as a further possibility for obtaining raw materials as well as for settlement---often marketed in terms and visual rhetoric explicitly comparing the 'space colony' to its terrestrial precursor: 'the final frontier', depicted as both lush tropical paradise & as rugged american west, waiting to be conquered & brought to heel.

i am of course not hostile to 'science' in any totalising way; this would be as indefensible a position as the automatic 'defence' of all such practices; they're not monolithic or intrinsically doomed to serve state interests. but it is simply irresponsible to pretend that the scientific inquiry into something---describing it, measuring it, taxonomising it---is inherently a social good, or that the pursuit of 'knowledge' is ever an apolitical endeavour. knowing, seeing, & measuring the world grant immense power; states and empires know this. scientific inquiry is not tangentially related to imperial and colonial expansion; often it is a critical piece of the machinery by which these processes occur. wilful ignorance of this fact in favour of an optimistic conception of science as a universal social good is not just inaccurate but propagandistic & an advancement of state & imperial interests.

[vervainandspritz]

CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING?—please, don't leave me

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Request by @goblinjnr

Warnings: hurt/comfort, mentions of death, grieving, angst, suicide

A/N: it's very fucking sad so beware

~~

Her eyes shut tight as her husband pressed a loving kiss onto her lips. Y/N's body involuntarily relaxing into his hands, causing Tommy to smile through the kiss.

”Mrs. Shelby, are you cold? I can see goosebumps on your skin” He teased, leaning forward as he grazed the skin of her neck with his nose, causing her to let out a sigh.

”Very funny” She responded, pinching his side lightly with a grin. ”That's what happens to a woman when her husband finally decides to put business away and give her affection instead.” Her voice was also teasing, as her own gaze completely drowned in his intense blue orbs.

Pulling her even closer, Tommy's nose brushed against hers in a promise of a kiss.

”So I'll have to consider doing this more often.”

Leaving last, strong kiss on her lips Tommy took a step back.

”Do what you have to, and come find me.” Y/N asked, squeezing his hand lightly, her expression relaxed and almost dreamy seeing him in such a good humour.

Bowing lightly, Thomas answered.

”Don't go too far, I'll join you soon.” His voice had an undertone of worry to it, his eyes becoming slightly more cloudy at the obvious allusion.

Giving him a weak nod, Y/N agreed, understanding exactly what he meant.

Don't go anywhere on your own, it's dangerous

Turning around, Thomas slowly walked back to his office, his steps echoing throughout the corridor as the warmth of their lovely encounter disappeared under the weight of reality.

Y/N let out a sharp breath, her heart picking up speed as her hand fell to her belly, causing more internal pain than anything. The mask she had to wear around him was becoming heavier with each passing day.

But she couldn't tell him. Not when the prognosis were so hopeful the last time they visited the hospital together. Not after seeing him gain back the spark he lost for so long.

Letting out a sharp exhale, Y/N turned around, slowly walking back to their bedroom. Wincing quietly she made her way through the corridor before settling on a bed lightly.

The day they found out was the worst day in her life. Rushing to the doctor so hopefully, once she noticed her stomach... Growing. After trying for a baby, could it finally happen? Y/N wondered back then, showing Tommy the swelling on her stomach.

Putting his hand over her belly, he was the happiest man in the world, dimples on his cheeks revealing to their full extent as he smiled so brightly, a rare sight but how beautiful she felt. A family, of her own.

A girl? A boy? They wondered the day before her visit. Chatting away endlessly about names, clothes and toys for a little Shelby.

A heavenly happiness that lasted no longer than three days, before they got crushed by the diagnosis.

Stomach cancer

Thomas' hand fell limp by his side, as Y/N froze completely. It took a longer minute, followed by ”I'm so sorry” from the doctor before tears appeared. Falling faster and heavier, each one a nail to her poor heart, wiping away every dream they managed to talk about in the last days.

All hope, gone, just like that.

...but it wasn't over just yet, as Dr. Wellerman explained the path they will have to go through. The risks of chemotherapy, additional tests and needed medication.

Tommy tried to stay strong, so badly, despite the white colour his face turned. Nausea took over his mind as he listened to each word, listening to the doctor explaining her survival rate. He needed to be strong.

So he was, carrying the weight like a world champion, never letting her carry it alone.

”Don't cry” He murmured in the worst nights, rocking her back and forth in his arms, sitting on the floor by the bed. ”We will bring you back to good health, and then have children. Little copies of our own, eh? A girl with my nose and your smile.” He spoke quietly into her ear, staring blankly at a wall. Whispering beautiful words she so desperately needed to hear, keeping her heart from breaking.

With each week they were both feeling worse, Y/N's physical state worsening visibly throughout the chemotherapy. The pain she felt in her abdomen could be compared to the flames from hell, reaching her ruthlessly and blooming the horrible thought she tried to push away so badly.

I want to die already, her mind would whisper cruelly, hating the way her husband's bones became more visible. His sunken eyes which lost all colour, almost as if he was the one with tumour eating away on his body and mind.

It wouldn't be much different then, because the pain he carried seeing her slowly fade away was easily the most difficult battles he had to fight.

A couple years back, Thomas would never expect to even think that, but the war in France was nothing compared to the unfair war he chose to fight everyday, holding onto his wife at all costs.

On the worst days, he would silently cry against the door of their bathroom, begging her to let him in as she cried so loudly.

”Don't look at me, I'm disgusting!” Y/N kept repeating, looking in the shattered mirror at her reflection. She was a shadow of her old self, her almost completely bald head mocking her, along with the colourless eyes that looked back.

”Y/N, please. Don't shut me away” His voice was breaking, despite the attempts to stay strong. Minutes later he would be on the floor by her side, kissing her temples and holding so tightly to not let her drown.

”You're beautiful, Mrs. Shelby. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen,” He talked, looking her in the eyes, his deep, honest voice never ceasing to bring her out of misery even just for a few seconds. Rough fingertips grazing over her delicate, pale skin. ”So beautiful I just had to marry you.”

A deep silence following his gentle tone, as his fingers drew random patterns on her skin.

”Am I dying, Tommy?” She asked quietly, her voice so fearful as she held onto his shirt, head resting on his shoulder. Thomas was almost sure she could physically hear his heart shattering at the question.

”No,” He replied confidently, getting her to look him in the eyes. To see the lack of hesitation and the fire he had in him, as her own was slowly getting smaller. She was losing hope. ”You're not dying. I wouldn't let you leave me, after all, eh?” He said, small, weak smile appearing on his lips and reaching her eyes.

”I love you so much” She whispered, slowly nodding off to sleep against his heartbeat.

Y/N remembered every and each of those days when he's been the lifeline. The only reason she was getting up and fighting against the cruel faith, slipping from death's embrace every day, almost like his love was keeping her alive.

...and it worked. Tests started coming back better than before, the cancer responded well to the chemo, allowing life to slowly seep back into their reality.

Y/N could never forget how happy it made them. Made him. The way he laughed and joked, and touched her looking, oh the way he looked at her. Like nothing else mattered, as he brought her flowers and loved every moment they had. Thomas grew to appreciate her presence so much, even the business wasn't able to get a hold of his mind as often anymore.

Life was a dream, until it wasn't.

The pain and swelling grew, sometimes making it difficult to move her legs even. Y/N held onto the thought that it was temporary, that everything was okay, so she didn't tell him. Couldn't bring herself to share her worries, seeing the way he lived and not just survived anymore.

So the secrets began, every letter from the hospital started coming to the rented storage she kept away from everyone. Tests getting more worrying until one, particular one, killed the hope completely.

The cancer no longer remained in her stomach, now spreading to the liver, lymph nodes and lungs, crushing the potential survival rate to 3%.

”Oh God” She cried at first, howling so loudly her throat grew sore and voice weak.

But it wasn't the worst. The worst was pretending around Tommy, forcing herself to smile and walk and talk as lively as before.

Be there for him, and try hard enough to smile so it would reach her eyes, because else he would know.

Each day was harder as the pain grew stronger. Eventually she had to start shaving her head every few days, to hide the fact she stopped the chemotherapy.

The pain was too much. The first time was easier, as she mindlessly shared the misery with Tommy. Carrying it together was easier, but with how much he loved her, seeing her in that state was killing him more than cancer was killing her.

So she pretended. Smiling, shaving her head and making sure to keep her expression stoic as the swelling burned hellishly.

So here she was, sitting on the edge of their bed, both hands on her belly in hopes to ease the pain. Unfamiliar pain, one so strong she couldn't breath at all.

”Tommy” She managed to whimper out, fingers wrapping around the edge of the nightstand so hard, her knuckles turned white. Slowly lowering herself to the ground, Y/N felt her legs giving out as she fell down with a loud thump, starting to cough.

Barely opening her eyes, she noticed the drops of crimson red fluid dirtying the clean, wooden floor. Her mind turned hazy, feeling completely out of it as more and more blood splattered the floor.

Only then did she barely register the fast, loud steps approaching.

”Y/N!” Thomas boomed loudly, rushing to her side. His face was completely pale, his shaky hands wrapping around her chest as he pulled her up, completely panicked. ”Frances! Frances call the ambulance!” He screamed in a frenzy, leaning forward to try and help. ”Y/N, I'm here, I'm here.” He choked out as her eyes became cloudy, breaths coming out in short bursts. ”Y/N! Look at me, please fucking look at me!” Tears steamed down his face at the suddenly terrible state she found herself in. She looked at him, but couldn't see.

As he cried, and screamed, pulling all the old medication she used to be taking from her nightstand, spilling them by his side and looking for the particular one that used to help with breathing problems, Y/N was halway gone.

Physically she couldn't see, struggling to breathe enough to keep her brain functioning yet the only thing she could think of was him.

Please, don't take me away. Who's going to protect him from the self-destruction his heart holds?

”Please, don't leave me” He cried out weakly, pushing his forehead against her collarbone, hiding his face in the crook of her neck. Hiding.

The memory of his happy, blue eyes was the last thing she registered, feeling as if he gently eased her into sleep, taking away all the pain. In reality, Thomas couldn't hold in the animalistic howling that ripped from his throat while he held her tightly to his chest, rocking back and forth as the sound of an ambulance pulling up by the Arrow house came to his ears.

From this moment, there was nothing.

***

She was gone.

He lost count of the amount of hours since it happened. Thomas didn't know if it was a night or a day, as he forced the maids to cover every source of light in the house before sending them away. The alcohol combined with opium in his system made him see the most beautiful things in the dark, memories shining so brightly.

His eyes rolled back at the scent of her, as he was holding her nightgown to his chest. Blood was trickling from his fingers, dirtying the pink material because of the destruction he brought upon the Arrow house once left alone.

Rocking back and forth in the middle of the room, he remembered the sight of his wife sitting by the vanity, laughing as she made him roll his eyes with her smart mouth. She fitted so perfectly, so perfectly with the scent he was feeling.

It was all that mattered, as long as he felt her presence around him.

In the next few days Polly threw away all the opium he had, trying her best along with her nephews to support him through the ripping loss. Only if he wanted that help, maybe everything would eventually be okay.

But for him, there was nothing before her, and nothing after her. The story was done.

Once left alone again, he let out a sigh, feeling the pounding headache. The noise was overwhelming, impossible to suppress ever since she was gone.

”I can hear them coming again” He whispered into the silence of his office, as the shovels dug against the walls from every direction. Getting louder with every passing minute. ”They want to take you away from me, darling” His voice was rough from the lack of using it. Opening his eyes, Thomas looked at the portrait hanging on the wall. You and him. Like like he promised. His eyes on the painting were far from reality, not resembling the dark irises, swallowed completely by madness which took over his mind without change. ”I won't let you leave me” He repeated the line from the past, lips wrapping around the familiar words as he pulled out the pistol from his holster. Lazily pressing the muzzle against his head as his lips turned upwards into a heartfelt smile. ”I'm coming, sweetheart.”

His loving words were followed by a loud bang, as the bullet ruthlessly ripped through his skull and brain, only to get stuck in the old furniture in another room.

His body went completely limp as the unlit cigarette fell onto the desk, becoming the last sound of their lively love ever heard in the wall of the Arrow house.

A house which became a cemetery for the undying love, and future that would never come.

Taggin my people: @iilovedonnatartt @gentlebeari @narlytude @honeymoon8 @chaimaarouaine11 @hatethis29 @bruhidkjustwannaread @reiwanwan @immyowndefender @jbrownta @preparedfruit @emptyvoidofmine

[the-ace-with-spades]

From the just hold my hand scenes that (probably) won't be written

Ice can't talk, he hasn't been able to for a while, not long after the diagnosis even, but since his last surgery, he knows he will never be able to again.

He and Mav learned sign language as soon as this became a possibility — they attended lessons together, sometimes online, and they practiced with each other, until they became fluent enough to communicate daily using sign. It became faster than Ice writing whatever he wanted to say and so it became primarily how they talk if it's just the two of them — by the time Bradley enters their life again and brings in a whole new husband and four (and counting) kids into it, they use sign language every day casually.

Bradley and Jake's middle daughter, Ronnie — Ice is her favorite, has been since the day they've met. Mostly due to his calm and soothing demeanor and just the aura of safety he has to him, but also because she's a quiet kid who doesn't talk much — she has a bit of a speech development problem that isn't too worrying at her age but has to have an eye kept on it — and often gets buried under the hyperactivity of her older sisters who talk a mile a minute or under her baby brother who craves attention and often gets it because he's cute as a button when he's clingy. But Ice always took the time to pay attention to her even if she was quiet or if she was not doing anything, even if it was just sitting next to her or holding her or basically looking at her expecting her to show him what she was doing or what she liked. People outside of her basic family (her parents and her memaw) rarely get her as much as he does.

So she's maybe a little clingy about Ice.

And you know, when it kind of settles that Mav and Ice are going to be in their life, Bradley promised himself he'd at least try to learn sign. He's terrible at it, he's always been not that good at languages and despite having the finger flexibility that a lot of learners struggle with, he just doesn't have the muscle memory that lets him have a smooth learning.

When Ronnie sees him practicing at home and asks why he looks like grandpa Mav when he talks to grandpa Ice and he explains that it's how Ice speaks (which Ronnie never thought about because she's a kid and she thought grandpa Mav could just understand Ice so well without speaking out loud because he loves him so much, the same way her parents did with her), she gets obsessed.

Next time Bradley takes the kids for some playtime with their grandpas (while Jake and Bradley have some me-time together...), Ronnie gets all shy when Bradley says the well-known phrase of, "Go say hi to your grandpa," and she signs to Ice.

It's just a little clumsy "Hello, grandpa," the simple wave of a hand looks a bit too much like a salute and maybe she adds a third tiny arch as the sign for grandpa finishes but Ice gets it and it gets everyone — especially Ice — a little teary-eyed as well.

[Also, sign language often has the same kind of insider linguistic slang families have when using spoken languages (you know, your sister once calls the terrace door windwoor when she's five and your whole family still calls it that even though she has kids of her own and a corpo job now... this but with hand signs) and I love the idea of Ice encouraging her to make those mistakes and then having them become only their inside vocabulary that no one else gets]

[storm-angel989]

The last request I asked for was absolutely amazing, I loved it! I’ve been into reading sickfics recently and I’d love to see how valentino and reader’s daughter would be taken care of when she has a stomach bug

Hi there!

Enjoy! I love writing these sweet little fics! Dad Val is literally my favorite!

<3 Mandy

Valentino knew that look.

The scrunched up face, hand on tummy “Daddy I don’t feel so good,” look that was inevitably followed by projectile vomiting. 

He swore, sometimes kids were worse than drunk adults. At least sometimes they had the witherwell to go to the bathroom, rather than force him to pull her as quickly as he could to the toilet.

“Oh bebita,” he sighed as he held back her hair. “Something didn’t sit right in your tummy did it?” He could feel the heat radiating off of her little body and with his one free hand, texted Vox. 

She started to sniffle and Valentino gently rubbed her back. His heart ached for his little girl.

“No no, don’t cry, I know your tummy hurts, but crying will only make things worse,” he said as soothingly as he could. 

Instead she doubled over again.

“Want Mommy,” she whined. “Papi, I want Mommy.”

“Mommy isn’t here mi amore,” he replied patiently as he carefully wiped her face. He reached over and rummaged around in the vanity drawer before coming up with the thermometer. He pressed it to her ear and pulled away when it beeped. He sighed at the number- 103.2. Way too high for his liking. 

Her whimpers turned to tears and he gently held her to his chest as he sat cross legged on the floor with her. She hiccuped again and he positioned her right back to the toilet. 

“Hey, you guys okay?” Vox asked as he pushed open the bathroom door. “Oh no, what’s wrong with the baby?” 

“She feels warm and she’s throwing up, reader is out of town and…Vox can you…” Valentino sighed unhappily. “Can you get me a cool wash cloth for her and call the pediatrician? Just put him on speakerphone.” 

Vox looked ever so slightly amused but dialed the memorized number as he damped a washcloth. Valentino carefully held it against his daughter’s forehead as he explained her symptoms to the doctor. A quick diagnosis of the stomach bug and suggestions for pedialyte and children's tylenol. Ice chips and popsicles. Crackers when she decided she was hungry. Vox hung up the phone and looked at Valentino.

“You heard the doc, it's going around. Rest, lots of fluids as she’ll tolerate them.” Vox turned to the sink and quickly filled a dixie cup with water. “Just have her sip on this for now.”

Valentino gave him a look.  “Vox, I’m not going to sit here and let this fever fester. Or let her keep getting sick. Go downstairs, tell the nurse I need a pediatric IV and…”

“Oh fuck no. Sorry Val, but I’m not letting you stick a needle into her. Adults are one thing, she’s too little,” Vox replied firmly. “And no offense, but your wife would be livid if you ignored the doctors advice and did fuck all. Besides, she’s got to get it all out of her system.”

“Language,” Valentino grumbled. But he knew Vox was right. He made a mental note to take a few courses on pediatric care. Just so Vox wouldn’t be right next time. 

“Listen, I’ll run to the store right now and get everything, it will be faster than waiting for housekeeping.” Vox continued. “And I’ll let Vel know too.”

“Can you try to get a message to my wife?” Valentino asked. “Fuck whatever she’s doing, I…”

“Language,” Vox teased gently. “But I can try. I make no promises though. She’s…”

“Busy, I know,” Valentino grumbled. 

Five hours later, the sickness seemed to be dissipating. It had been a solid twenty minutes between that moment and the last time she threw up. Valentino leaned over to the bathtub and turned on the cool water as he held his exhausted child. 

“Daddy? My belly hurts, and I’m thirsty,” she whined softly. 

He carefully poured the smallest amount from the bottle of pedialyte into cup. “Just a sip. Little sip.” 

To his relief, she did as she was told. Carefully, he lifted her up and went to set her in the bathtub. 

“No, Daddy!” She clinged to him tightly. “No!”

“Baby, I can’t give you more medication, and we have to get that fever down,” he told her patiently.

She clung to him tighter and sighed. Fine, if she wouldn’t get in by herself, he’d get in with her. He removed his phone and keys from his pocket and dropped them on the floor next to the bathtub. Carefully, he stepped into the water and slowly sank down into the tub, clothes be damned. 

She clung to him at first, but as the cool water soothed her skin she relaxed her grip. 

“Better?” Valentino asked. 

She nodded and let herself sink into the cool water. Valentino carefully took a cup full and poured it over her shoulders. After a few moments, he pressed his hand to her forehead. Good. Cooler now.

“Hey, how are we doin…oh, we’re at that point, huh?” Velvette asked as she surveyed the scene. “Not for nothing, Valentino but if you had told me that at any point you’d be in a bathtub in jeans…”

“Not. Not now Vel,” Valentino grumbled. “Can you grab the thermometer for me?” 

“Yeah yeah, let me,” Velvette replied as she picked up the thermometer. “Babygirl, tilt your head for Auntie.” 

To Valentino’s relief, she complied. As soon as it was off of her ear, she cuddled into Valentino and shivered. He wrapped his arms around her  Velvette looked at the number when it flashed.

“99.6,” she announced.

Valentino sighed, “alright, that’s better. She puked up the tylenol I tried to give her an hour ago…and I can’t give her more for another three, but I think we can get her into dry pjs and into bed.”

“I think so too. You dry her off, I’ll go get the both of you clean pjs,” Velvette said as she turned and walked out the door. 

Carefully, Valentino lifted his daughter back into his arms and stood up, letting the water drip from them both. He stepped out of the tub and, ignoring his own sopping wet outfit, quickly took her wet clothes off, wrapped her in a pink bath towel and set her on the counter. He grabbed a second towel and set to work towel drying her hair.  

“You look sleepy baby,” he cooed softly. “Papi’s going to get you into your jammies and then bedtime, okay?” 

She nodded sleepily and when Velvette came back, he quickly tugged the t-shirt over her head, and dressed her in a pair of pajama pants. 

“Val, I’ll take her to bed, you take a second and dry off,” Velvette said as she reached for the little girl. 

“No! Auntie, want Daddy!” She cried and reached for Valentino. 

“No no, don’t cry, you’ll make yourself sick again,” Valentino said quickly. “Go to bed with Auntie and count to twenty, and by the time you’re almost done I’ll be back out and in bed with you, okay?” 

She sniffled and buried her head into Velvette’s neck. Velvette quickly closed the door and Valentino made fast work of stripping off his sopping wet clothes and shoving himself into his favorite red and black plaid pajama shorts and a black t-shirt. 

“See! Told you Daddy would be back before we reached twenty!” Velvette sang as she sat on the bed. 

Valentino walked over and opened his arms. His little girl crawled against his chest and the second her head laid over his heart, she fell asleep.

“You’re lucky she can’t count,” Velvette said as she perched on the side of the bed. “Anything I can get you Val? Water? Food?”

“Just my phone, and maybe a cup of coffee, I’m going to try to stay up…”

Velvette shook her head. “Sleep when the baby sleeps. Trust me, you’ll know if she gets sick again. She’s safe in your arms, Val. You’re a good dad.” She reached over and squeezed his arm affectionately before hopping off the bed. 

By the time Velvette returned with water, snacks and his phone, Valentino was fast asleep with his daughter curled up on his chest. Velvette smiled and pulled the blanket up over his lap, quietly deposited the items on the nightstand and carefully closed the door behind her.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Is it just me or have the Sussexes laid low? I kinda think they aren’t interested in playing games anymore and are sort of quietly living their lives now. I don’t think they’re still gonna do that overshadowing on the BRF’s special days thing. My memory might need to be refreshed but the last I remember of them doing that sort of thing is when Nacho posted Meghan’s dog biscuits on the day of Kate’s return at Trooping the Color which got her called out by the media. But since then, I feel like they have laid low. Idk… I don’t wanna summon them lol but I feel there is some peace and quiet in the royal watching world for a few months now.

They always lay low like this before they do something big and splashy. It’s their tell.

Take last year, for example. They were pretty quiet from mid-November 2023 to late January 2024, making just a couple of work-related appearances. But then February came and the Sussexes took Vancouver by force with:

A) exclusive and first public royal comments about Charles’s cancer diagnosis

B) massive PR clapbacks responding to rumors of problems in the marriage and criticism

C) a huge rebrand from Archewell to Sussex Royal, complete with a brand new website, official use of Meghan’s Royal cipher, and endorsed by the BRF (or at least Charles) when the official palace website linked to it

D) the biggest, clearest trial balloon of bringing the Sussexes back into the fold (which was nixed faster than the speed of light after KP told the press “over William’s dead body”)

E)And then less than a month later, Meghan launched ARO with her oft-promised return to social media in a slick promo video that went absolutely nowhere.

F) Followed by “woe is me” PR after Kate’s BBC video statement because they weren’t told beforehand and had to learn about her condition the same time the rest of us did.

Discussion about the February events:

So we've been here before. After the Colombia trip in August, the Sussexes have been pretty quiet with just work-related appearances. Meaning that soon there will be something big, splashy, and messy from Montecito. Will it be a divorce announcement? Will it be a massive PR clapback campaign? Will it be a new strategic initiative? Will it be ARO's actual launch and product rollout? Will it be a welcome back to the BRF, or even just a trial balloon? No one knows.

But something is definitely coming down the pike. It's very much "the kids are too quiet" energy.

[mochatune]

Hey! So I've fixated on a vague headcannon of a Y/N with dissociative identity disorder. They're a system with different alters, and each feels differently about Peter (each could be a reference to the different routes in the game - the romantic route, the friendship route, the abusive route, etc.) And well, Peter loves all of you - so he tries to get every single alter to fall for him. I love your HCs, could you write a Peter x Y/N with DID one?

Hey so sorry about this being as late as it is, I’m just now getting back on tumblr. Anyone else with an ask i promise it’s a priority.

In advance I have no real idea on how DID really is and am going off what I’ve been told, if this comes off as offensive then I apologize.

—

Peter x darling with DID

—

- honestly he wouldn’t pick up on it at all in the beginning, which is weird considering his favorite hobby is literally stalking you. He knew you took some sort of medication but upon further snooping he found it was Prozac, a common depression med.

- when you keep changing how you feel about him it gets him angry, he genuinely thinks you’re just giving him mixed signals. This could lead him on to take you even faster than originally in the game.

- you go from calling him asking when you guys are meeting up again to telling him to stay the fuck away from you and blocking his number. He doesn’t appreciate the inconsistency, don’t be surprised when he’s banging at your door screaming demanding an explanation. He’s patient but enough of this will start to piss him off and leave him feeling paranoid.

- it’s not until you both are having a at home date when he realizes what’s happening here, the switch is gradual and almost seemless but as your biggest fan he picks it up.

- one second your cuddling him and now you’re just staring at him with this gross look in your eyes.

- after this incident it’s clear he doesn’t know as much as he thought he did about you. if you felt watched before then you definitely did now, not only is he keeping a strict eye on you trying to figure out what’s going on with you but he’s also snooping through your place a lot more consistently.

- he eventually finds your hospital records in a dusty old box and it all starts to click, of course you were acting so ‘weird’.

- this determines him further to win the love over every ‘you’, though don’t be surprised if you find this also motivates him to take you faster. Now that he has an actual reason to believe you need him he won’t release his grip.

- it starts with him coming over more often and Texting you more, being more attentive basically. He also starts noticing the switches more.

- as soon as he found out about your diagnosis he did so much research, like an insane amount. Knows pretty much the ins and outs of what DID is.

- when you switch it’s like he switches, more so switching his approach in how he talks to you.

- when you’re lovey he doesn’t do much, he likes this side of you best and is ultimately determined to get all these sides of you to be like that with him.

- when you’re angry or more so scared of him he gives you space and comforts you as much as possible, it’s a little antagonizing to admit but he treats you like a child when you get like this.

- it’s sort of a running game, this personality is incredibly stubborn and doesn’t want anything to do with him. His best bet is to more gently force himself on you until you can eventually tolerate his presence and hopefully soon his love.

- all in all he just becomes more attentive. There’s not much to say considering he’s not as mentally there either.

- you end up kidnapped in his home much earlier than expected from even himself where he basically locks you inside and treats you like a helpless animal.

- its fucked up but he drugs you into being complacent when you switch and you start freaking out about the current situation.

- if the drugging doesn’t work then it’s the constant manipulation that does, you’re other personality will never really love him but it is numb to his touch at this point.

- he’s really just putting a bandaid over a bullet wound with the way he’s treating you.

- when you behave he’s all over you and treating you like a goddess but when you have these freak outs he just doesn’t know what to do, despite being so well versed in your disorder he’s still a very toxic person who wants all of you.

- he won’t even take you to therapy because of how possessive he is, he expects you to treat him as your therapist and you can only imagine how that would blow over.

- you’re always ensured your meds and a warm body to stay next to but that’s about as much as you get because Peter is not as emotionally available as he makes you believe he is.

—

[ckret2]

3rd times the charm (writing this i lost what i wrote 2 times already) questions/related for/to goldilocks bill 

1 is mabel adhd and or some neurodivergent cuz of hw/grade thoughts/feeling /comments made/referenced and was this me being delusional/implied and will only be implied in the story/foreshadow something or just 

2 can bill hid his cycle long term and who restocks mables pads cuz if its her what does she think of a huge chunk going missing and if not how long and with mable in ca and melody maybe moving out what would he do what are his thoughts on having to ask for menstrual products like asking would be humiliating on a scale of 1 to 10 who would he ask most to least likely what beliefs/knowledge/feeling do the other characters have on periods 

3 would he have any thoughts/preference on different menstrual products like pads/tampons/cups/other items i don't know or it the theme/art the only difference 

4 sorry if this is gross (S&P would never approve) but would bill if he had period blood at the time gone for round 3 of battle of hygiene used the period blood like his stink and the sink incident as bargaining/negotiations chips for something cuz i hate how messy period blood is in my experience and just experience with so many peoiple being so repulsed by it (would he possibly think its funny like blood haha and the blood clots like slipe)

5 why did he get one so soon like his body is 2 weeks old ( i think i'm bad with time(time is and illusion anyway)) but anxiety, depression, sudden weight loss/gain, being under/over weight, extreme exercise, and poor nutrition are some of the relevant things that can make you miss your period and bills got oodles of poor nutrition depression anxiety and maybe (going on only sooses comment so far) sudden weight loss (for me just eating 2 to 1 meals (1 school lunch the other fast food) a day for a long time meant i didn't get a period for like 6 months) but is it the fact it's so new and axolotl set to easy thats he got one (also i don't mean to be rude i have no knowledge of what you do/dont know about periods and stuff)

6 for the kryptos gang Maybe when the accident happens bill rips holes in the dimension of accident and only they are lucky/unlucky enough to fall and get translated though not knowing it was bill and not in bills view/doesn't know/thinks that killed them? And end up stranded in an extremely unknown place worried about the shit going down in the dimension and latter get rumors it was destroyed and they grieve But that way bill is  alone in the aftermath and people spread no survivors present and these shapes are standed  he meets/collects them that way he can promise them something better would them not knowing erase or amplify the guilt or would them know bill did it make more sense sorry if this is bad i know that i don't articulate myself well disclaimer i have not read the book of bill (im :,( broke rn).i have seen some of the website but would this work with cannon and your story i also don't know how the dimension stuff would go would they up or down a dimension maybe the axolotl translated them cuz reason idk or bill accidently did it when the holes ripped open

god that's a lot of text to lose twice I'm so sorry lmao

1. Yes, I write Mabel as ADHD. I don't know if it will ever be directly stated in the fic, primarily because I doubt she's gonna get a diagnosis; but I'm drawing on the experiences of family, friends, & myself to write her.

2. Mabel thinks "hmmm... I used those a lot faster than I expected... but I've been using these less than a year, maybe I just don't have a good sense of how fast I use them yet."

Bill wouldn't consider asking for them any more or less humiliating than having to ask his captors for food access, shower access, or sunlight access. He has no taboos or shame associated with bleeding out of a hole for most of a week, being ashamed of that is a human cultural thing; but he is consistently humiliated by needing to ask his captors to please let him have the basic resources he needs for his stupid body maintenance.

But remember he just got a room with a fridge and permission from Soos to stick whatever he wants on the household grocery list. He doesn't need to specifically ask his captors for period supplies. He can just... put it on the grocery list. Now it's Soos's problem. Maybe Abuelita's, I feel like she might prefer to do the shopping if it's not too strenuous for her yet.

3. Tampons can kill you so Bill thinks humans are pretty dumb to use them. He doesn't much care beyond that. He's used exactly one product.

4. I can't think of a reason he wouldn't but I'm not interested in exploring weaponized hygiene more than I already have.

5. He's been in his body over five weeks. He got the one period he's had so far almost 4 weeks in, giving him a cycle only slightly longer than average. (Even if he HAD gotten one two weeks in—how do you know his body wasn't just created already halfway through a cycle?) He's had a shit month but he started off in good enough health for it not to immediately matter and the shittiest most physically & mentally grueling part of the month (the eclipse + execution) came after he'd bled.

6. begs a lot of questions—"how" "why them" "where were they" "why didn't Bill find out sooner" "why DID he find out". Doesn't feel airtight enough to me. Plus, I already know EXACTLY how Bill's dimension is destroyed, and random rips in the dimension aren't part of it.

[viridianv0id]

Oc lore post!!!

alright. this may be longer than the Sebastian post but ! i have a lot to say about this guy so here we go !!

This is Dr. Cameron Mallard (Often referred to as just Mallard)

Pronouns are It/its (sometimes He/him but. thats if i forgor/for lore reasons)

Lore dump, will be under the cut as per usual, as well as additional images!

Pre-game information

Mallard was in med school studying to become a nurse, he wasn't too far into the start of his course when he suddenly had a warrant out for his arrest. Turns out there was a doctor with the same last name going around and getting people killed with improper diagnosis/treatment.

Unfortunately, Mallard wasn't able to prove his innocence and was sent to prison and eventually was swooped up by UrbanShade with promises of freedom and a clear record. which, of course knowing UrbanShade. never happened.

Mallard was subjected to very not fun testing, an idea UrbanShade having about avoiding missing limb incidents was to make it so those affected could just grow back their limbs, and while there was a few options for what DNA to take from, it was decided that an Axolotl was the best option, mostly for the underwater nature of the Hadal BlackSite.

Of course, these tests never come without some pain, and once UrbanShade knew Mallard's body had accepted the DNA and was producing it, they needed to see if it worked.

So, they started with seeing if it was possible to reattach missing limbs, starting with two procedures.

His Right hand, and left leg.

They started small, removing his right hand, of course leaving it be for some time to simulate an actual amputation, before they eventually reattached his hand, the results? It worked! However; The hand that had been removed was weaker, with delicate nerves and blood vessels being cut it was near impossible to reattach all of them, so it left his hand weaker, paler and unable to function to its full potential.

Even with this minor setback, UrbanShade had learned a lot and proceeded with the same thing on his left leg and while results were similar, they were improving. His leg being stronger than his hand by comparison but still not back to how it had been previously.

They then let Mallard have time to heal, not a long healing period since they also decided to continue letting him Study though now he was studying to become a doctor instead of a nurse, UrbanShade figuring how durable he was now would make dealing with certain Z-class way easier if they could just stitch him back together and be good as new

once he had healed from those two procedures, they continued, upping the levels of DNA than they had originally given him to see if more of this DNA would help the healing process go faster

The next procedures would get more ambitious;

they removed a majority of his left arm, and opened him up, seeing if organs could be more easily replaced.

He was given several Organ transplants, none of which he actually needed, but due to everything his body accepted these new organs. A win for UrbanShade.

once his arm was also reattached some adverse side effects began to show, now that he had so much Axolotl DNA in him he was starting to develop gills and a tail, awesome! now he can be used for work underwater as well, so UrbanShade cultivated this and allowed for the changes to happen

they may have done a few more procedures on him for aesthetic reasons too, his original colourations were just black but he was eventually made into a Chimera Axolotl instead. for the silly. Literally that was only done for the aesthetics.

The very last procedure they conducted was probably the worse by far, they wanted to see just how far they could push the limits of Mallards body and newfound healing abilities.

So, off with his head.

I'll spare you the Gorey details, this was mostly done to see if it was even possible. and it was.

This however, affected his eyes the most, as like the rest of anything removed from him blood supply was low, and while they were able to make sure his brain suffered no harm, hes a doctor in training after all, his face suffered the short end of the stick

Luckily his eyesight remained, however the ability to make complex facial expressions or move his eyes around in any meaningful way was heavily affected, giving him a constant blank expression (or resting bitch face, depending on who you ask) this procedure ended Mallard up with the nickname "The Chimera" and the Z-Classification of Z-50

And as for the scar around Mallards neck.. He doesn't want to talk about it.

And while things are mostly healed up now, if agitated enough some of the stitching along each of his dismemberment's will bleed a little, not enough to be concerning but enough to look kinda morbid.

Everything had taken a toll on Mallard. He didn't feel like the same man that had come to this place with hope of finally having the truth spread.

It was a lab rat. a mere toy for UrbanShade to play with. It was nothing like it had used to be.

It didn't feel like a person anymore.

Current day

After the containment breach and lock down of Blacksite, the evacuations didn't seem to have any plans for Mallard, while he hadn't been a practicing doctor for very long his Z-Class status was enough for UrbanShade to leave the poor man behind, abandoning it before it even knew what was happening to the place.

It ended up having to break through the glass of its containment cell, ending up wandering the halls of Heavy Containment for a while before it found its way towards some of the earlier doors, which didn't end up well as it then discovered that not every Navi-AI marked door was exactly the correct one, and after one unpleasant meeting with The Mask of Sadness (Good People / Z-96) its right leg was injured pretty badly, and while it healed up relatively well the scar is a nasty one that occasionally still brings it pain.

It can now usually be found just before the Oxygen Gardens, its hideout only labeled by a broken Navi-Path screen. it more often than not avoids most folks, its trust in anyone working for UrbanShade right down the drain.

More recently, it had another unfortunate experience with The Mask of Sadness, getting another pretty bad wound on its side this time, though nowhere near as bad as the one on its leg.

Art breakdown / TLDR

okay, so i know that was a lot of words but i needed to write it all down, so, if you want the short version on some of the facts about Mallard here's a quick little thing about it as well as another one of my little art note pieces

going from top to bottom.

Different colours: Its gills and tail are split between two colours, Black and Pink. This was an aesthetic change made my UrbanShade scientists. This little part has dubbed mallard as "The Chimera"

Axolotl Gills + Tail: This was a side effect cultivated by UrbanShade, as the ability for it to breathe and move underwater would help it work with certain Z-Class that needed to be constantly submerged, as well as aiding any personnel who may have gotten injured under water.

Discouloured skin: The skin on certain parts of Mallard are from procedures done to test its ability to accept removed body parts to see if UrbanShade could cut down on the amount of amputations needed. These parts of Mallard are weaker and dont have as much feeling in them as any normal part of its body

Stitches: These stitches have stayed in mallard long after parts were reattached, as occasionally under stress some of the old wounds may re-open and bleed. Mallard maintains the stitches and changes them regularly.

Scar: The scar on its right leg was obtained from The Mask of Sadness in an unfortunate encounter just after the Lock down had happened. This wound is for the most part healed but It deals with a lot of chronic pain from the severity.

Extra art

this is just a small collection of extra art pieces that ive made !

[ivarlover]

UNPREDICTABLE

Part 4, 1st half (sequel #4 to UNLEASHED, UNDENIABLE, and UNEXPECTED)

Alex + Modern Ivar

Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk

NSFW 18+ ONLY

If you're new here and want to catch up, just go to my pinned master list.

A special thanks to my Beta reader @lostasalice-thisway ! Couldn't have done it without you! 😘 I hope you guys like it!

Summary: During a hot weekend between Alex and his best friend, Ivar, it turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that they are just getting into the swing of things and finding their groove with navigating their relationship, Ivar's ex fiance comes back into the picture, with his child he didn't know existed, and it seems she's sure to shake things up.

Warnings, The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, language, smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut. 🤣 Each chapter will have its own warnings.

This chapter: Language, smut including anal and oral sex, explicit phone sex, major case of the feels, *inaccurate medical descriptions, diagnosis, and practices,* manipulation from Katia that's next level low even for her, drugs, *some parts may seem irrelevant, but trust me, every character and situation play a very relevant part in the bigger picture*

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Words: I don't know; too MANY to count, so many that I split this chapter into 2 separate parts!

This is part one.

*Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!*

Note from me: My apologies for how long this has taken, but hopefully, the length of this chapter will make up for it.

@tessakate @lonewolf471 @lostasalice-thisway @vero-maris-zamo @noway4u @istorkyou @chapada010101010 @galaxy-1000 @twistergirlie @covidinducedsocialreject

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As Alex and Ivar got out of the car at the airport, Ivar asked him, "Are you sure you'll be ok taking care of things at home while I'm gone? Katia seemed all too eager for me to leave. It was a bit unnerving."

"I'll be fine. Sara will be there with us a lot and will take care of things when I can't be there. I think maybe Katia is just still trying to accept everything. Stop worrying," Alex assured him,. he was right.

Alex grabbed his bags as Ivar protested. "Look, you're doing all of the work for our buisness all alone. The least I can do is carry your bags inside for you," Alex demanded as they began walking to the doors of the airport.

"I really hate that I'm not going to be there when you present your project, though."

"Ivar, again, stop worrying. It's going to be fine."

Ivar had been debating whether he was going to travel for Steven's buisness proposal at all. He couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving all of his responsibilities for Katia and Ivy on Alex and for missing his presentation, but Alex had insisted he go. He'd promised he would ask for help from Y/N and Hvitserk, in addition to Sara, if he needed it.

Trying to clear his mind, Ivar took a deep breath. He also knew this was going to be difficult for him to be away from Alex for so long. With the exception of when they'd first gotten together, they hadn't really went more than a day without seeing eachother. "Well, I'm just going to miss you."

"Ivar, it's only going to be a week. I think you can handle being away from me for that short amount of time."

Ivar grabbed his bags from Alex and sat them down in the floor beside them. He wrapped his arms around Alex and pulled him close. Lovenly brushing a strand of hair away from Alex's face and tucking it behind his ear, Ivar said, "Love, that's irrelevant. Any amount of time away from you feels like a long time." Still holding his cheek, Ivar pulled him in and gave him a sweet kiss.

As Ivar's heart began to beat faster, and his face felt hotter, he pulled away from Alex. Intently looking into Alex's eyes, Ivar told him, "Honestly, I really just want to be inside you so badly right now."

Blushing and caught off guard, Alex said, "Ivar, we were just together last night, and holy shit, we're standing in the middle of the airport."

"Yeah, well, that was last night, and where we are is irrelevant, too. You know this by now," he laughed.

Alex answered him, "Well, you have to leave, now. When you're done, and come back, I'm all yours," Alex smiled, bashfully.

"Yeah, you promise? But for how long?" Ivar flashed his devilish grin to him.

Shrugging, Alex said, "Well, that depends. How long do you want me?"

A serious look spread across Ivar's face as he asked, "Umm, what about forever?" Alex gulped as Ivar continued, "You know, for better or for worse?"

Alex's heart completely stopped, and he felt like he was going to pass out. "Umm, Ivar, wh-what are," he stumbled over his words, "What are you saying?"

At that very moment, they heard the announcement over the intercom for Ivar's flight. It was actually the last call for his flight. "Oh, uh, shit. Umm, ho-how did we miss the first calls for your flight? You should go before you miss it," Alex studdered. His heart was racing, and he felt his cheeks redden.

Ivar was lost in his thoughts and stood, staring blankly, at Alex. "Hello? Ivar? Did you hear? Last call for you flight."

Ivar didn't say a word, but yanked Alex to him in a tight embrace. He held him for a lingering moment, hearts pounding, before leaning his head back and then kissing Alex so passionately, as if he was going away to war. His hand snaked up through the back of Alex's hair as he held him tenderly in his arms.

Finally, they broke their embrace, and Ivar bent down to grab his bags. Alex stood in the same spot in a complete daze. What had just happened?

Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek and gave him another quick kiss. He said softly, "I love you."

Alex looked at him quizzically as he said, "And I love you."

"Alex, I'm sorry. I've got to go. I-I'm, uh, I don't know what I was thinking here."

Alex's heart sank. Shit, it had all been an accident! Ivar hadn't meant what he'd thought afterall. "It, umm, it's ok, Ivar. Don't worry," the words spilled from his mouth without him really registering anything he was even saying.

Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek again, "No, Love. I mean I'm sorry to dump such a deep concept in your lap minutes before I leave you. We have much to talk about, so much to discuss, but umm, not now. Not here. Forgive me. I have to go. We'll continue this later." He gave him another quick kiss, "I'll call you when I land, Love. I love you." He winked, "Dearly."

Alex stood frozen in his spot as he watched Ivar walk away, looking back and blowing kisses.

Seriously, what had just happened? Did Ivar just tell him, without actually telling him, that he wanted to marry him? Was he really that committed to their relationship? He pretty much, in a very Ivar way, had almost proposed, right? No, no. There's no way he'd been thinking of marriage. No way. Alex stood, lost in his thoughts, for several more minutes before a lady with a crying baby walked by, and snapped him out of it. He knew he needed to get out of there, get some fresh air, clear his mind.

The entire drive home Alex kept thinking of Ivar's words. "Forever, for better or worse." What else could he have been referring to?

Alex shook his head and decided to just drop it, as best he could, at least. He knew Ivar already had a lot on his plate. His life had changed so much in the last almost year.

Aside from how difficult it had been for Ivar to leave Ivy as she sobbed for him, Alex also knew how Ivar's confidence tended to fade some at the thought of being alone and leaving Alex for so long. He'd had a fear of coming home to an empty home ever since Katia had left him like that years ago. Alex knew that, but when Ivar had told him how it still haunts him, even when they still didn't even live together, even with leaving him only for a week, his heart broke for Ivar. He'd reassured Ivar that they'd speak everyday and that he was definitely not going to disappear while he was gone.

When Ivar thought of meeting Steven alone, he'd almost backed out several times. It had taken Alex's encouragement to get him to follow through with it. He didn't think he'd ever quite understand why Ivar would doubt himself so often, but he was pleased to know that Ivar trusted him enough to believe him when he told him he could do this, that meeting with Steven wasn't going to be as bad as he thought.

When Alex thought about how vulnerable Ivar still was about such an important thing for their buisness for so many different reasons, he chopped the whole forever talk up to just being Ivar's nerves and insecurities of being alone and of them being separated.

Ivar told him in the airport that they'd talk more about it, whatever it was, later, so he decided he wasn't going to ask Ivar anything about it. He didn't want to bring it up and accidentally put Ivar on the spot, especially, feeling pretty certain, now, that it was only his insecurities talking. If it had been more than that, well, he'd wait for Ivar to say so.

He did his best to push it all out of his mind. He knew he was delusional to even think Ivar meant such a thing. They'd only been together for close to a year now, and he knew Ivar was never the type to make such major life decisions so quickly. So he did his best to put it all under lock and key before he got back to Ivar's.

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As Alex walked into the house, Katia was setting the table. He instantly felt sick at what he thought she must be conjuring up in ber head already. As he got closer to the dining table, he noticed there were three plates, and Sara came through the door. Alex sighed a breath of relief to see her there, too, as she said, "Oh, hi, Alex. I just got Ivy settled, and she's finally sleeping. She really had a hard time with not having Ivar here. Does she understand that he's going to be gone for at least a week?"

"I wouldn't think she'd understand it, but he's been talking to her all week and trying to reassure her that he would be back. So, maybe it is just kind of sinking in?"

Bringing the salad bowl to the table, Katia interrupted them, "My Ivy is just that intelligent. She definitely understands, but I think she'll be fine with Alex and I when she gives us a chance." She smiled widely at Alex, placed her hand on his shoulder, and squeezed as she walked back to the kitchen for the rest of the food. "Don't you think, Alex?"

He visibaly tensed up, "Oh, umm," he was lost, trying to decipher her intentions, "Umm, well, yeah. I mean. Maybe."

Sara, sensing something was off and not wanting to get involved, said, "Well, Katia, I guess I will see you tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, but umm, please stay for dinner. I already have your place set." Sara looked to Alex, and silently asked with her eyes if it was okay with him.

Alex whispered, "Yes, please stay. Oh God, please stay." She smiled and then tried to hold back a giggle.

"Well, thanks, Katia. Do you need any help?"

"No. This is the last of it." Katia sat the food down on the table. "Let's eat."

Sara and Alex both went to wash their hands in the kitchen while Katia insisted on making their plates. "What's wrong, Alex? You're going to be here with her all week. Isn't that what you agreed to with Ivar?" Sara asked him quietly.

He explained how uncomfortable Katia had been making things, and how he just had a sickening feeling about it all.

"Well, I'm here to help. Just let me know if you need me to step in for you. Ivar asked me to do just that, actually. Perhaps he had the same feelings you do?"

Alex just looked at her and shrugged, hoping he was just being too sensitive.

"Are you guys coming back, or are you too busy in there getting acquainted with eachother?" Katia laughed from the dinning room.

"See what I mean?" Alex's eyes widened at Sara.

To Alex's surprise, once they all sat down to eat, it went quite well. Katia managed to reel in her crazy comments, and they had nice conversations. Alex and Sara both praised Katia on her cooking, and he could tell she definitely enjoyed the compliments. Maybe that's all she needed, just to know she's accepted and appreciated.

Alex was lost in his thoughts of how he could maybe make things easier for them all if he showed her she was appreciated when Sara's words brought him back to the moment, "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Katia. Thanks again for dinner. And Alex," she said as she stopped by his side on her way out the door, "Just let me know if you need me to stay late or come early any day this week." She placed her hand on his shoulder and patted it in an effort to tell him it was going to be ok as she continued out the door.

He went to get the dishes from the table and take them to the kitchen. Katia told him she'd do it, but he told her, "You know if you cook, I clean. That's how we do it around here. I appreciate you cooking for us, so this is the least I can do."

Katia leaned against the counter beside him, "Well, thank you. It really means a lot." Alex felt like she had more to say, but she seemed to hesitate. He waited as patiently as he could while he cleaned the dishes. She looked quite pretty he thought, but there was certainly something mischievous about her.

"You two seem to really hit it off," she began.

"What? Sara and I? Yeah, I mean, she's nice," he answered her, the confusion of her comment spreading across his face.

"And she's really pretty, too. Don't you think, Alex?"

"Well, I honestly haven't really given it much thought, but yeah, sure. I guess she's a pretty young lady."

"You know, I wouldn't ever say anything. You can trust me, Alex."

"Ok, spit it out. What are you getting at, Katia? I'm tired, it's been a long day, and I'm just ready to go to bed." The annoyance in his voice rang throughout the room.

"I just mean, I see the way she looks at you. Trust me, a woman knows these things, and Sara definitely wants you." She placed her hand on his shoulder as he turned the water off and placed the last plate in the dish drainer.

He instantly jerked away from her, repulsed. "What the fuck, Katia! You know I'm with Ivar. I would never do such a thing to betray his trust like that!"

"Oh, so you do find her attractive, too! I knew it!"

"Wait. What? No! That's not what I said, and you know it."

"Oh, Alex, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." She took a step closer to him, and he took a step backwards. "It's just that you didn't say you weren't interested in her. You said you'd never do such a thing to Ivar. And my proposal is this, I'll look the other way. I would turn a blind eye for you, Alex, and keep the secret between just the two of us. Ivar never has to know."

"What the fuck are you talking about? I can't believe you'd even suggest such a thing! I love Ivar, and I only want to be with him!"

"I'm so sorry," she lied. "I misunderstood you. Please forgive my assumptions."

Angry, but trying to control himself, Alex stood his ground as he snapped, "Katia, if this is any indication of how you're going to be this week, I'll just go home and have Sara and one of her assistants stay with you. It doesn't have to be me, you know. Your accusations are wildly absurd! I don't know what your angle is, but you can drop it! It's not happening! I will not put up with your bullshit the way Ivar does."

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself just as she stepped closer and caused him to back into the wall.

She pressed herself against him. Her breath fanning over his face, she softly said to him, "I'm seriously sorry, Alex. I meant no disrespect. I must have misinterpreted Sara's shy glances at you." She lightly trailed her finger across his shoulder and down his arm. "We've finally gotten off to a good start. Please don't say anything to Ivar. It would disappoint him terribly if he has to worry about us while he's away. He really wants us to get along, you know. Umm, for Ivy's sake."

Seemingly unaffected by everything Alex had just said, despite her insincere apology, a smirk stretched across her face that made Alex feel sick as she continued, "At least, that's how he plays it off. Maybe when he comes back, the three of us can explore other, umm, options for our little, uh, I daresay, triangle?" she teased. "I've heard how the two of you like to share." She leaned forward as if she would kiss him on his lips, but he jerked his head away from her. She continued leaning forward and landed a small, wet kiss on his cheek before pulling her head away.

Alex's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He didn't know how, but she was definitely eluding to their experience with Y/N. He suddenly felt sick. He tried swallowing his emotions, not wanting to show her she was getting under his skin or how disgusted he was. He'd never want to be with someone that Ivar was once in love with, even if Ivar was there, too.

Releasing him, she whipped around and took a step away from him before looking back over her shoulder at him. "Or perhaps, if you're not interested in Sara while Ivar is gone, and you don't want to wait for him to return so we can umm, explore things," she played, "You know, you still don't have to be alone." She motioned up and down her own body as if offering it to him. "It's the least I could do for you with you so generously staying with me to help and all," she continued to smile at him mischievously.

He was completely bewildered. Surely, this wasn't really happening, and she was playing an evil joke on him. Why would she suddenly offer herself to him like that after all this time trying her hardest to get Ivar back?

She turned her head back toward her door, and slowly walked to it. Opening the door, she looked back at him, still standing frozen in the same spot. "Let me know if you decide to take me up on my offer, Alex. You know where I'll be. Goodnight."

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Alex went upstairs immediately to take a shower. He felt dirty just from Katia's unappealing suggestions alone, not to mention how she'd trailed her fingers over his body. He hoped to be able to clear his mind. He assumed she was trying to test him so she could report back to Ivar. She clearly didn't know him well at all if she thought he was that easy.

As he was out of the shower drying off, trying to decide if he was really going to stay there for the whole week like he'd promised Ivar, his phone rang.

Wrapping the towel around himself, he walked across Ivar's room and grabbed his phone from the bed. It was Ivar FaceTiming him. Wondering if he'd bring up anything he'd mentioned in the airport about forever, he smiled as he answered and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, Love," Ivar began and then noticing Alex with a wet head and without a shirt, teased, "Oh, have I called at the wrong time? Were you busy?"

Alex rolled his eyes, half smiling, "I just got out of the shower. So, you're already settled in where you're staying then?"

Ivar told him how he'd been met at the airport and driven to the hotel where Steven had already reserved and paid for his suite. "I'm not sure how to take it all. This is usually how I conduct buisness."

"Then, that has to mean Steven knows what he's doing. Just enjoy it, Ivar."

"Love, is everything ok? You look, umm, I don't know. Kind of stressed?"

Alex thought he'd done a good job at hiding everything. Apparently, not. "I'm fine, Ivar. I'm just, umm, well, I'm just missing you. It's strange being here without you." He tried not to let his mind wander to the ridiculous events that had just happened with Katia.

"I'll be back before you know it," Ivar seemed to accept Alex's answer. "In the mean time, why don't you show me what you're wearing now that you've just gotten out of the shower?"

Alex grinned and began to feel a bit more relaxed. He scooted up the bed and propped himself up on the headboard. "I was literally just drying off when you called. I just have a towel." He felt his cheeks burn.

Ivar's face lit up in the most devious way, "Oh, really? Care to show me which towel? You know, for educational purposes only," Ivar laughed.

Alex thought for a second, but then realized he had nothing to lose. It wasn't like Ivar had never seen him before. He tilted the camera down and showed the towel, still wrapped around him. "Is that towel good enough, Sir?"

"Absolutely not! That's such an older towel that I can't remember the last time I even used it. I don't think it will suffice. I need you to take it off."

Now, Alex's face flushed bright red. He wasn't sure why he even felt bashful, but he did.

"C'mon, I'm waiting," Ivar said, anticipation building.

"Fine." He loosened the towel and began to pull it off, and Ivar stopped him.

"Wait! A lot of good that does me if I can't see. I think you need to position your phone at a way better angle, and then, slowly remove it," Ivar continued to flirt in a demanding voice, "While I watch every move you make."

Alex took a deep breath, "Well, I guess we're doing this," as he moved his phone so Ivar could see him. Ivar bit his bottom lip as he looked at Alex's toned muscles, still wet with drops of water, making him feel himself growing harder in his sweats.

His eyes raked over what bit he could see of the rest of Alex while he slowly opened the towel, sliding it from underneath himself, and dropping it to the floor. Ivar licked his lips and said, "This simply will not do."

"What?" Alex nervously yanked the phone back to his face.

"You need to look in the top drawer there in the nightstand and grab my iPad."

Not seeing Ivar's intentions, he asked, "Why?"

"Just do as you're told," he demanded, making Alex's stomach knot in the most delicious way. "I'll give you a few minutes to get it powered on, and I'll call you back. Answer from there this time."

"What? Why are you..." and Ivar ended the call. Alex, then, saw where this was going. His heart rate sped up thinking of Ivar's demanding voice. He'd never had any form of phone sex before, wasn't even sure what he was supposed to do.

He retrieved the iPad and got comfortable on Ivar's big, empty bed. Looking over to where Ivar would usually be laying beside him, he sighed. Maybe this would help with his stress, he sighed again.

The iPad rang, and he quickly answered to see Ivar laying on the hotel bed, completely naked as well, hair hanging down on his shoulders just like Alex preferred it.

"Well, hello, Love. This is so much better," Ivar grinned. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Well, depends on what's next," Alex smiled.

"As if you don't know. This is the best we can do right now. So, I want you to listen carefully, and do exactly what I say, ok?"

"Ok," Alex eagerly agreed.

"Set the iPad up so I can see you. All of you." Alex busied himself doing as he was told. "Now, reach into the top drawer to your right, and grab the lube."

Alex gulped, but grabbed the lube. "No-now what?"

"Toss it to the side. For now," Ivar instructed. "Now, look at me. Look into my eyes. What do you see?"

Alex swallowed audibly, "I se-see your face."

"Looking up at you?"

"Yes," Alex breathed out heavily as he closed his eyes.

"Open your eyes, Love. Now, can you feel my hot breath on your chest? Can you feel my hot, wet tongue tracing your muscles every so lightly?" Ivar questioned him seductively.

"Umm, umm-humm." Alex moved his finger tips lightly across his chest, sending goosebumps across it.

"Now, grab your nipple between your fingers and squeeze it for me. Hard." Ivar licked his lips, then spit into his own hand, and grabbed ahold of his demanding rock hard cock. He slowly began moving his fist over himself as he watched Alex.

Alex lightly grabbed his nipple between his finger and thumb. He rolled it around. "That's it. Now, squeeze it." Ivar told him.

Groaning, Alex did as Ivar instructed, surprised at how aroused he was becoming. "Now, imagine that's my teeth biting your nipple. Can you feel it? Tell me how much you like it!"

Alex's eyes widened, "Umm, so much. It feels so good." He brought his fingers to his mouth and wet them. He then placed them back on his nipple and squeezed again.

"That's it. Feel my wet mouth on you, my sharp teeth biting you."

Noticing Ivar stroking himself, Alex's eyes widened even more. "Yes, Love, this is what you do to me. I want you so badly right now. I wish I could be inside you, making you scream my name."

"Fuck!" Alex winced at the visions flashing in his mind.

"You'd like that, too, wouldn't you? Feeling my thick cock pulsating deep inside you, thrusting so hard into you from behind? Tell me!" He was pumping himself harder with each word.

Alex whined, "Oh, fuck! Yes, I want you. I want you inside me so badly! I can feel you!" His ass cheeks instinctively clinched around nothing, and he whimpered. Ivar's words were causing Alex to come undone.

He rapidly moved his hand away from his nipple and grabbed himself. Just as he started to pump, Ivar growled, "No! I didn't tell you that you could touch yourself yet!" Alex whined, but did as he was told. "Now, I want you to suck your finger for me. Wrap your plump little lips tightly around your finger, and suck it for me."

Alex brought his hand to his mouth and staring at Ivar, he licked his finger from his knuckles up to his finger tip. He then stuck his tongue out and twirled it around the tip of his finger before slowly sucking it into his mouth, causing Ivar to moan as his hips bucked. "Damn! You're gonna make me come!" Ivar's strokes became quicker, yanking at himself viciously.

He breathed out heavily, desperately trying to keep control, "Now, slowly trail your wet, spit filled fingers down your chest, across your stomach, and to your dick. Don't grab yourself until I say you can." Alex did exactly as Ivar said. "Can you feel my wet tongue tasting you, licking your soft skin?"

Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his back arched. "Did that feel good? You want me to suck you into my mouth, don't you?"

"Umm-humm," Alex mumbled, goosebumps spreading acroos his chest.

"Grab the lube beside you on the bed, Love." Alex did just that. "Put some in your hand, and then slowly grab yourself as I would. Imagine I'm right there with you, right between your legs, making myself comfortable as I suck you into my mouth."

A strained moan escaped Alex's mouth as he grabbed himself tightly, twisting his hand around his ready cock deliciously. "Now, move your hand like I would move my mouth, licking all over you and sucking you so hard. Can you feel the heat of my breath, the twirling of my tongue?" Ivar licked his lips as he watched Alex handling himself.

Alex could only moan as Ivar's hunger for him grew. He wanted nothing more than to touch Alex at this very moment. He imagined that the sweet, soft sounds escaping Alex's lips were because of how he moved deeply inside of him. As he continued to watch Alex, his hand gripped and sped up to a brutal pace on himself, feeling Alex clinching tightly around him. He bit his bottom lip and his head dug into his pillow.

As Alex yelled out, "Oh fuck, Ivar!" Ivar's body stiffened and violently twitched all over, releasing his load onto his stomach and down his knuckles.

He panted, "Alex," softly, trying to catch his breath. "Alex," he tried again, "It's your turn, Love. Come for me. Can you feel me deep throating your long, thick cock? Let go, and come for me. Coat the back of my throat for me."

Alex's hand tugged faster on himself as his thirst for Ivar intensified. Ivar's raspy voice in his ears gave the illusion that he was there in the bed beside him. "I, uh," Alex's breathing was irratic, "I want you, I need you inside me," he hissed.

Ivar's enticing voice began, "You continue your stroking as I am slowly kissing down your inner thigh. Feel me licking you, savoring your taste, right before I gently bite down on what's mine." Alex gulped as he trembled.

"Just as you're relishing in my starved kisses, I'm pulling away from you." As Alex began to whimper, Ivar quickly added, "Before you can cry out, I am abruptly flipping you over onto your stomach. You try to look back at me, but I press your head into the pillow." Ivar was nearly beginning to get hard again himself. "Can you feel me hovering over you? You feel my hot breath falling down on your back?"

"Ummm," Alex responded, eyes closed tightly, heat rushing through his veins.

"Answer me, Alex!"

"Yes, yes Ivar. I can feel you. I feel your weight, your heat, your body on mine. Oh, fuck, your soft skin!" Alex's chest was heaving, as he sharply inhaled through his teeth, toes curling.

"Good. Now, yell my name as I smack that luscious ass."

Ivar slapped his own thigh loud enough for Alex to hear as Alex wailed, "Ivar!"

"That's it. You know what I want. I want you to come screaming my name." Ivar licked his lips, watching Alex violently yanking himself with one hand and gripping the bed sheets with the other one. "I'm clasping your shoulder now, as I place my hard cock at your tight ass."

"Oh, Ivar!"

"Are you ready for me? You want this hard dick of mine to pound you to sleep?"

"Oh, fuck! Yes, Ivar! I'm so close! Fuck!"

"Now, I'm grabbing both of your shoulders for leverage. My chest is on your back, and I'm sweating all over you. Here I come, Love." Ivar thrusted his hips into thin air and yelled out, "I'm slamming into you relentlessly. Can you feel me? Your body is twitching all over, but I won't stop plowing you until you come! Scream my name, Love. Come for me screaming my name! Fuck, you're so fucking tight!"

Unable to control himself any longer and ignoring the previous mess he still hadn't cleaned up, Ivar grabbed himself again and quickly began pumping hard as his hips thrusted into his hand involuntarily.

Alex's back arched, his breathing was ragged as his ass clinched at Ivar's words. The heat in his body was about to boil over as he yelled Ivar's name again. Sweat rolled down his face and chest as his tight grip swiftly rotated up and down his solid rock hard dick.

"Scream my name!" Ivar demanded again.

"I-umm, Ivar!" Alex's movements faltered sloppily as he writhed intensely. He bit his lip before crying out again, "Iv-Ivar! I-I'm coming!" Pleasure consuming his entire body, he hit his climax, fiercely releasing his load straight up and then onto his stomach.

His entire body trembled as he slowly came down from his high. As he looked over to the iPad, ready to cover his face in embarrassment - how had Ivar made him come so hard when he wasn't even there? - he saw Ivar gripping his bed sheets almost as tightly as he was gripping himself just as he came again. "Fuck, Ivar! You're incredible!" he licked his lips.

Ivar studdered, "I, I wi-wish you were here with me."

"Ivar, we're pathetic. You haven't even been gone for an entire 24 hours yet, and look at us." He motioned toward both of their messes, laughing.

"I can't help it. This is what you do to me," Ivar laughed. "That was absolutely amazing, Love. I-I've never enjoyed phone sex quite so much," he blushed.

"Yes, it was. We should get cleaned up."

After the call ended, Alex laid on the big, empty bed, staring at the black iPad. He was a bit surprised at how Ivar was able to get him so hot just from a call and some words, some very enticing words, but still. He looked over to where he wished Ivar was laying beside him, where he should be and groaned. Grabbing Ivar's pillow, that thankfully still smelled like him, he hugged up to it. "This will have to do," he whined and fell asleep.

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The next morning, before Alex had even gotten out of bed, he decided to not be alone with Katia while Ivar was away. If it meant paying Sara more to stay longer himself, he'd do it. He'd also asked Y/N to pay some extra visits as well. Once Ivar returned, he'd decide if he should bother him with anything about Katia. He just knew now wasn't the time.

Katia didn't seem to mind having the extra company around. She seemed to even be oblivious that there was a specific reason for it while Alex did his best to avoid her completely. She'd even invited Y/N and Hvitserk to have dinner with them, and Y/N accepted.

Alex felt uncomfortable with the whole idea, worrying that in Katia's sick mind, she may have somehow seen it as some twisted kind of double date.

"Alex, I don't think you have anything to worry about, really. She's definitely not brave enough to try anything that stupid with Hvitserk there. You know he doesn't really care for her and so does she."

"Yeah, I hope you're right," Alex said back to her, unable to match her certainty. "She just makes me feel so sick."

She patted his back as they walked to her car after class, "It'll be fine, you'll see."

To Alex's relief, dinner actually went pretty well. Of course, Hvitserk was his usual smartass self, but it wasn't anything to be unexpected.

As Katia and Y/N joined the men in the living room after dinner, Hvitserk told Katia, "Well, I know we don't always, umm, well, see eye to eye, but you really know how to cook. That was delicious. Thank you. And thanks for the invite."

Katia came around the sofa and sat on the arm of it right beside Alex, ignoring the other available places to sit. Alex instantly tensed up. She placed her hand on Alex's shoulder, "Oh, thank you, Hvitserk. Alex and I are happy to have the two of you over." She looked at Alex. "Isn't that right, Dear?" Hvitserk's eyes widened as Alex sat, frozen. "And he's just recently learned that he likes to eat whatever I have to offer," she smiled innocently, seductively licking her lips before biting her bottom one.

"What the fuck!" Alex immediately stood up, shaking his hands in front of himself. "What's your damn problem?"

Y/N was instantly at Alex's side, "Let's go outside for a bit, Alex. I think we could use some fresh air." She escorted him toward the front door, looking back at Hvitserk, telling him something unspoken with her eyes that he'd obviously understood.

Katia asked, "What did I say? I was simply discussing our.."

Hvitserk cut her off, "Oh, shut the fuck up, Katia. Nobody gives a fuck about your lies!" He stood in front of her when she got to her feet and attempted to step toward the door after Alex and Y/N.

Y/N closed the door behind them, but not before managing to grab the bottle of wine from the counter. She popped the top off, took a big swig, and handed the bottle to Alex. He gave her a curious look. "Do you mean to tell me you couldn't use a drink? I couldn't get anything harder without leaving your side," she laughed. "And I knew I didn't need to do that. So much for her not trying anything in front of Hvitserk, huh? Drink up."

Shrugging his shoulders, he turned the bottle up. "I wasn't going to lay one finger on her, Y/N. You know that."

"Yes, I do, but I wasn't sure what she might do or say once you said whatever you were about to spit out at her." In deep thought, he took another drink and then handed it back to her. "And you may not lay a finger on her, but I can't make that same promise," she smiled.

They stood in silence for a few more minutes, just passing the bottle back and forth between them. Alex then spoke first, breaking their silence, "Y/N, I don't know how, but I think she knows about you, Ivar, and I. That first night that we were..."

"I remember, Alex. I was there. You don't have to spell it out for me," her cheeks reddened.

"Oh, umm, sorry." He dropped his head. "It's just, the other night, she all but offered herself to me, saying how she knows that Ivar and I like to share." The look across Alex's face was, again, of disgust. "How could she know anything?"

"Umm, about that," she grabbed his hand. "Umm, Alex, I think she may have overhead Hvitserk and I talking about it."

"What? No! You're fucking kidding me! Please tell me that you're not serious."

"That weekend when Ivar went to your place, and we stayed here with Katia and Ivy. You remember?"

He took a deep breath, "Yes. Go on."

"Well, you know Hvitserk and his inappropriate jokes. He was being stupid and joking around with me when we were on the sofa. And umm, well, she walked out to use the bathroom, and we don't know how long she had been standing there, but her hand was over her mouth."

"Fuck! What did Hvitserk even say about it?"

"Well," she looked at him while tilting her head, "He was asking me umm, I mean, umm, he wanted to know, to compare.."

"Nevermind! Nevermind! I don't even want to know. It's Hvitserk. I'm sure I can derive, from that much, what he was comparing. Damn him!"

"Well, let's just say, none, of the three of you, have anything to worry about in that department," she grinned.

Alex slapped her shoulder, grinning, despite himself, "C'mon, Y/N, this is serious. What if she.."

The front door opened at that moment, "She's not gonna say another fucking word. And if she does, she will regret it."

Alex and Y/N both turned around to look at him, mouths open wide. "Wh-what did you do, Hvitserk?" Alex asked, worried.

He grinned, taking the bottle from him and turning it up, "Don't worry about it. If she doesn't behave, just let me know. And she won't say anything to Ivar, either. She knows he'll kick her out if she does."

"That's what I've been trying to decide, if I should tell him when he gets home," Alex ran his fingers back through his hair.

"Man, chill out. Worry about that when he gets back. Don't you have your presentation tomorrow? Concentrate on that, and fuck her!" Alex gasped, as Hvitserk slammed the bottle down and said, "Oh, shit! No! No, don't fuck her! Damn! You know what I mean!" He laughed and dropped his face to his hands.

Stepping between them and placing her hands on Alex's shoulders, Y/N intervened, "What he means to say is, you've got enough on your plate right now, so forget about her. Do you need any help in preparation for tomorrow?"

"Uh, actually, yeah, umm, I could use some help with getting everything in the car. That way, I won't have to do it all tomorrow by myself."

"Perfect, show us the way."

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Alex had the morning to set up his presentation for his history class. He'd chosen to do his research on the ways of the Old Norse and Norse Paganism. He had several artifacts from the time on display that were passed down through Ivar's family, being a direct descendant of one of the old warriors who had even been a king, with information on each item. He also had a variety of photos on display that he'd spent many hours digging though the internet to find. As he stepped back to take a final look, he was finally satisfied with his work.

There were to be three finalists after each student had their time to present their project to the class. They would receive an award for being one of the chosen three, and that Friday night, those three would have a bigger presentation at the civic center in town, along with three finalists from each of the several other nearby universities. It would be open to the public. Everyone would then vote, and each university would have a winner who would begin a paid internship working with their professor as their mentor.

As Alex looked around, getting a little nervous when he saw everyone else's tables sat up, too, he could only dream of such an opportunity. He wasn't sure what everyone would think of his presentation, but he'd given it his all. He hoped it would be enough.

He knew just how right Ivar had been calling him a nerd back when they were still just friends, his nose always in the books, but he couldn't deny how facinated he was with history. It seemed like such a long time ago that the two of them were still only friends. He smiled to himself.

At that moment, his phone rang in his pocket, startling him out of his deep thoughts. Not even looking at who was calling, he answered, "Hello?"

"Hello, Love," Ivar's voice sang across the other end of the line. "Just wanted to remind you that you've got this. Take a deep breath, and just do your thang. You know your stuff, so stop second guessing yourself. You're going to shine. And remember, even if you don't win, you're still going to be an absolutely amazing history professor. So, just breathe, Love."

Alex smiled, warmly, at the thoughtfulness of Ivar taking the time to call. "How did you know I was second guessing myself?"

Ivar laughed, "I know you, Love. I'm so proud of you and all the hard work you've put into this. I hate that I'm not there to see it myself."

"You know I'll take pictures."

The two talked for a few more minutes before they ended the call, and Alex put his phone on silent.

After each student did their presentation, the history department professors gathered to discuss them. They took a final walk through the room, looking at everything closely.

Alex's hands were sweating, and his heart was pounding as they told the students to take a seat. He could only hear muffled sounds as he completely zoned out, and the minutes seemed to pass by agonizingly slow.

"Alex," one of his classmates tapped him on the shoulder, "Stand. They called your name."

"What? Oh, umm, huh?" Alex shook his head.

The other student motioned to the front of the room, "Go."

"Would you care to join us, Son?" His professor smiled. Surprised, Alex stood and walked to join him and the others. "And here our finalists, guys. Please congratulate your classmates, and thank you all for your hard work. Hope to see you all Friday night."

Alex was stunned. He was really one of the finalists? As students came up to shake their hands, Alex saw Y/N pushing through the crowd. She practically jumped on him with a huge hug. "Oh my God, Alex! You did it! Congratulations!"

With wide eyes, Alex said, "Wh-what? Did that just happen?"

"Yes! Let's go celebrate!" She grabbed him by the hand and headed toward the door. Trailing behind her in a daze, Alex couldn't believe he was one of the top three in his class. He couldn't wait to share the news with Ivar.

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Ivar had been in the capital long enough to remember why he no longer lived there. He wasn't sure if it was because he was a bit older now and just wasn't into the loud noise, big crowds, and traffic, oh, so much traffic, or because he now had a family or what. And wow, he was a family man now. The thought really resonated with him as he smiled.

Pulling out his phone, he decided to call Alex. He figured he should be back home by now from his presentation, and he was excited to hear how he did. After several rings and no answer from Alex, Ivar hung up. He hoped Alex would call him back when he could.

He laid back on the hotel bed, hands tucked under his head, and thought about Alex. He hated being alone, he always had, but more than that, now, he hated being away from Alex. He'd never dreamed this was where their friendship would have taken them, but now, he wouldn't have it any other way. He thought about the conversation he'd began with Alex in the middle of the airport, of all places, and he smiled.

He, then, remembered his meeting with Steven the next day. He'd seen a couple of Steven's bars and was preparing in his head what advice he'd give to him. He was also looking forward to hearing whatever other opportunities Steven had to offer him. His mind worked overtime as he settled deeper into the bed and fell asleep faster than he'd even imagined possible.

When his alarm went off the next morning, Ivar reached for Alex in bed beside him. "Why did you set an alarm when you always wake up at the first sight of sunlight on your own anyway?" he grumbled, groggily. As he felt the empty bed, he sat up in bed and opened his eyes. Looking around the empty hotel room, he realized he'd been snuggled up to a pillow most of the night. "Fuck!" He grabbed his phone to check his messages, assuming he'd missed Alex's call sometime during the night. Nothing, not from Alex, at least. He had a few missed calls from Hvitserk, but he'd call him a little later. He thought it was odd that Alex hadn't called or at least texted, but he got his things together and went to take a shower.

Once he was ready for his meeting with Steven and waiting for his ride to pick him up, he called Alex.

Thick with sleep, Alex mumbled on the other end of the call, "Hello?"

"Did I wake you, Love? I'm sorry. I was sure you'd been awake a couple of hours already by now."

"What time is it?"

"It's 9 am." Ivar was truly surprised. Alex almost never slept in.

"Fuck!" Alex sat up in bed. Then, looking over beside him, he saw Y/N crashed out, face planted into the bed with her head under the pillow. She was only wearing one of Ivar's over sized t-shirts and panties.

"Fuck!" he said again, realizing he had no idea how either of them had ended up in Ivar's bed, and even worse, what had happened the night before. He quickly scanned the room for any sign of what had happened, and all he saw was both their clothes in a pile on the floor. He was, luckily, still in his underwear, but that did nothing to settle his sudden panic. What the fuck was he doing in the bed with her wearing only underwear to begin with?

"Alex? Everything ok?" Ivar asked, quickly wondering what was happening on the other end of the call.

"Umm," Alex grabbed his head as he realized how badly it was hurting, About that, I don't really,"

He was interrupted by Y/N's voice grumbling into the bed, "Shhh, why are you so damn loud? Ugh!" Suddenly realizing that was not Hvitserk's voice she'd just tried to silence, she jerked the pillow off her head and snapped her head toward Alex, who had the same look of horror across his face that she was now feeling. She quickly sat up in the bed and looked down at herself. "What the fuck!"

"Alex? Alex, what the hell is going on? Was that Y/N's voice I just heard? Where are you?" Ivar wasn't sure what to think, but he sat on the edge of the hotel bed, trying his best to keep his cool until Alex gave him some answers. "Alex?" he impatiently asked again.

*2nd part will be posted later today*

[snifflesthemouse]

A Poem.

I am going through some personal things with healthcare, and I can truly relate to how it feels learning of a loved one having cancer. When I get stressed, I don't want to do anything stupid. Sobriety isn't something you are, it's something you do. So I wrote a poem about how it sucks knowing when people lie so much.

The Curse of Detecting Lies

I can tell you don’t want to really be here, no matter how well you hide it.

You can tell yourself I won’t know, that I don’t know, but I do.

I know. I always know.

Your mouth is lying to me right now about your diagnosis, and it is hard to keep smiling at you when I know it’s worse than you are saying.

You are a terrible liar; the lack of movement in the corner of your eyes tells me it is a lie. Just say you hate the way I made the potato salad.

You told me that you would never hurt me, and the disgust in your face that flashed for a tenth of a second told me that you would hurt me imminently.

You promised you wouldn’t tell mom about this, and I know you will tell her immediately because of that thing you did with your right shoulder.

Or when you promised me you never cheated on me (that one time). The flare of your nostril and the stress in your voice said everything you lacked the balls to say.

I knew when you said you didn’t make any money today that you were lying; you made enough to get incredibly high and leave me sick.

I knew the minute I took those four Percocet tens that I was lying to myself that I had a handle on this.

I know you were also messing around with my then-best friend. It was the summer before high school, move on.

That look you gave, no, right there, yes. That one. That look and the rub of your neck tells me that even you don’t believe this story.

I know you think I am fat. I know you think I am dumb. I know you think I am not worthy.

I know you can’t stop staring at my chest. I can’t stop you from undressing me, but I can make you just as uncomfortable.

I know you lied when you said you didn't rape her, that she consented.

When you told me you wouldn't do anything stupid, that you felt better, your upper lip was sweating and your pupils changed. I knew you'd try to hurt yourself, and I couldn't do anything at all to stop it.

That man is going to rob that gas station in two minutes, we need to leave.

I know you don't mean it when you say I was a blessing. Your tell came faster than your words.

I know you don’t mean it; I know you wish you never had me.

I know you don’t mean it; I know you wish you never met me.

I know you don’t mean it; I am the human lie detector.

I know you don’t mean it.

I know you don’t mean it.

I know you don’t mean.

I know you don’t.

I know you.

I know.  

[aionlinemoney]

The Impact of Artificial intelligence in Healthcare Industry

Technology has always played an important role in healthcare, but the rise of Artificial Intelligence (AI) is bringing even bigger changes. From helping doctors diagnose diseases to improving patient care, AI is transforming the healthcare industry for the better. It’s making healthcare services more efficient, accurate, and personalized for each patient.

In this blog, we will take a closer look at how AI is used in healthcare, its benefits, and the challenges.

AI in Healthcare: A New Beginning 

AI in healthcare means using computers and smart programs to help doctors look at medical information and make better choices. AI can quickly go through a lot of data and find patterns that people might not see. This makes it really helpful for finding diseases.

Uses of AI in Healthcare:

Diagnostics and Early Detection:

AI is becoming a powerful tool in diagnosing diseases. Artificial intelligence in medical diagnosis can examine medical images like X-rays, MRIs, and CT scans with high accuracy. In some cases, AI can even spot diseases like cancer earlier than human doctors.

AI tools are also being developed to assess a person’s risk of diseases based on their genetics, lifestyle, and environment, making healthcare more personalized.

AI in Drug Discovery:

Finding new drugs is a long and expensive process. Artificial intelligence in medical diagnosis helps speed it up by predicting how different chemicals will interact with the body. This allows pharmaceutical companies to find new treatments faster.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, AI in healthcare was used to repurpose existing drugs to treat the virus. AI helped identify promising drugs quickly, shortening the usual timeline for research.

Virtual Health Assistants:

AI-powered virtual health assistants are now offering patients basic medical advice without the need to visit a hospital. These assistants can answer questions, remind patients to take medications, and help schedule appointments. They also reduce the workload on doctors.

Telemedicine, where doctors consult patients remotely, has become more popular, especially during the pandemic. AI-driven platforms allow doctors to diagnose and treat patients from a distance, making healthcare more accessible and convenient.

Robotics in Surgery:

AI in healthcare is helping doctors do delicate surgeries. These robots can do small, correct operations, which means patients heal faster.

One example is the Da Vinci Surgical System. It helps doctors perform complicated surgeries through tiny cuts, allowing patients to recover quicker and with better results.

Benefits of AI in Healthcare:

The uses of Artificial intelligence offer many benefits:

Increased Accuracy

Artificial intelligence has increased accuracy in the healthcare industry. AI can analyze large amounts of data quickly and accurately, leading to better and earlier diagnoses. This improves treatment outcomes and can save lives.

Personalized Treatments

AI allows for personalized medicine by analyzing a patient’s unique medical history, genetics, and lifestyle. This leads to more effective treatments tailored to individual needs.

Lower Costs

AI can help reduce healthcare costs by speeding up processes, reducing errors, and improving efficiency. Faster drug discovery and better patient management also save money.

Improved Patients Experience 

Virtual health assistants and telemedicine make healthcare more convenient for patients. They allow people to access medical advice and consultations from home, which is especially helpful for those in remote areas or with mobility issues.

Challenges:

Although AI is very promising in healthcare, there are some challenges:

Data Privacy and Security 

AI needs a lot of patient data to work, which raises concerns about keeping that data safe and private. It’s important to protect sensitive patient information as AI becomes more common in healthcare. This is the main challenge for machine learning in the healthcare industry.

Lack of Human Interaction 

While AI can help doctors, it cannot replace the personal care and understanding that human doctors provide. Some patients might feel that AI-driven care is too impersonal, so it’s important to keep a balance between Artificial intelligence speed and the human touch in the Healthcare Industry.

Regulatory Challenges

As AI develops quickly, governments and regulators must make sure it is safe and works well in healthcare. Creating clear rules for AI in healthcare is a complicated process that will take time. These are some challenges in the healthcare industry.

Conclusion 

AI is making big changes in healthcare. It helps doctors find diseases early, give personalized treatments, and make surgeries better. AI is changing every aspect of daily life to prepared in this era or to stay updated you should read AI related news and blogs

In the future, AI will likely become an even bigger part of healthcare, making care better and easier to get. AI isn’t here to replace doctors but to work with them, making healthcare smarter, faster, and better for patients everywhere.

[cariantha]

Bad Dream

Book: Open Heart, Book 2 Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Sawyer Brooks) Rating: General Category: Fluff Word count: 1.2K Summary: Sawyer has a nightmare while Ethan is out of town and despite the distance he is able to bring her comfort in the sweetest way.

A/N: To the anon who sent this ask, I’m sorry for taking so long to follow up. I had promised “Coming Soon” content, but the original idea for this fic was not working. So, I scrapped it and ended up going another direction, inspired by the song Bracelet by Lauv. Hope you like it!

Almost three months had passed since the attempted attack on the senator and Sawyer was doing fairly well. Finally back to work full-time, going to counseling, and taking medication as needed. Despite the positive prognosis, Ethan knew there could still be setbacks. Nor was he over his own fear of losing her. So he continued to keep a watchful eye. And being this far away caused stress and constant worry. 

It was supposed to be a quick turnaround trip. The plan was to fly to Cleveland with Baz, consult on a case, and return home as quickly as possible. But nothing had gone according to plan. A diverted flight, lab work delays, and a challenging diagnosis kept him in Ohio three days longer than originally anticipated.

2:00 P.M.

8:30 P.M.

“You were right, Ethan,” Baz announced as he returned to the conference room with updated lab results. “It’s POEMS syndrome.”

A couple hours later, Ethan and Baz had drafted a detailed treatment plan to present to the patient's physician of record.  

“Baz, we’ve been in Ohio much longer than I anticipated. I need to get back to Boston. Do you think you can wrap up this consultation on your own? There’s a flight back to Boston leaving at 5 a.m. that I’d like to catch.”

“I got this, Boss.”

“Thank you.”

1:00 A.M.

After booking the flight and packing his things, Ethan laid on the hotel bed intending to catch a nap before his ride to the airport arrived. Eyes closed but far from sleep, his phone buzzed and vibrated on the nightstand, Sawyer’s name flashing on the screen.  

“Rookie?”

“E-Ethan.”

He sat up and turned on the lamp when he heard his whimpered name. “Hey,” he said delicately, “what’s wrong?” His heart started to beat faster and harder, mind suddenly racing with all of the possible reasons for the broken voice on the other end of the line.  

Trying to stop herself from crying, Sawyer snuffled, “I just needed to hear your voice. Will you talk with me for a little bit?”

“I’m here,” he assured her, “whatever you need.”

With that specific request he understood the cause of her distress. Though not as frequent several weeks later, Sawyer continued to have nightmares about the poison attack. This one likely the result of whatever triggered her anxiety earlier in the day. “Was it another nightmare?”

“Yeah, it was a bad one,” her voice was still shaking.  

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” 

“I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“No need to be sorry. I wasn’t asleep. I was actually lying awake thinking of you.”

“You were? What were you thinking about?”

One night after a particularly upsetting dream, Ethan brought comfort by revealing one of the moments when he started to realize he had feelings for her. Since then, whenever they were together and Sawyer woke up from a bad dream, he soothed her back to sleep with another endearing memory. 

“Do you remember the leather wrist band you bought for me at the farmer’s market last year?” he recalled.

“You mean the friendship bracelet I gave you? Because you were being stubborn and wouldn’t admit that we were friends?” she wise-offed.  

“Can you hear my eyes rolling?” he came back with, earning a light chuckle from the other end of the line. “Yes, that’s the one.” His voice now gentle, “I don’t remember if I ever told you, but I took it with me when I left for the Amazon. You know that I convinced myself that it would be best for us to try and move on… but that didn’t mean I was ready to let you go right away. With a foot already out the door, I realized that I needed to take a piece of you with me, so I went back for it. I figured I’d wear it until enough time passed that I didn’t need to anymore. I was so busy and distracted when I was working that I sometimes fooled myself into thinking I was finally getting over you... but at night when I was alone with my thoughts…” he exhaled softly, “well, they always drifted to you and I’d wake up missing you even more.” Sawyer sniffed back sentimental tears as he continued. “The day that I didn’t need it anymore never came. I wore that leather band every day until I came home.”  

“Thank you for telling me that,” she whispered.  “Want to know something?”

“What’s that?”

“When you first told me about the W.H.O. mission, I started following their Pictagram account. After you had been gone for a few weeks, they posted a picture of you and you were wearing the bracelet. And the night you came back, when we were talking in the beer garden, I saw it around your wrist. Just under the sleeve of your jacket,” she explained. “It’s the reason I kissed you that night. You’d never wear something like that unless it meant something important to you.”

“I see you’ve mastered the art of observation,” he joked before getting serious again. “And it did. It still does.” 

Sawyer’s phone vibrated in her hand as a notification alerted her to a new text message.

“Ethannnnn, you’re wearing it now?” touched by the gesture.

“This time it was the first thing I grabbed when packing for this trip. I wanted a piece of you with me while I was away.”

“I love…” she caught herself. It’s not that she didn’t want to say it, she just didn’t want to pressure Ethan to say it back if he wasn’t ready. “I love that. It’s so sweet.”

“And far less creepy than pocketing a pair of your panties,” trying and successfully making her laugh.

“Well, I should probably confess that I’ve raided your closet and will be spooning your pillow so I can feel close to you too.” 

He laughed heartily at the mental image. “Are you feeling better?”

“Much.”

“I’m glad. Go have a cup of tea and try to get back to sleep,” he encouraged.

“Any chance I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked hopefully.

“We’ll see, but I think the odds are looking good,” he replied knowing full well he’d be boarding a plane and on his way home to her in just a couple of hours.  

“Well, fingers crossed. And Ethan?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” she said most sincerely.

“Only good dreams now, okay? Goodnight, Rookie.”

“Bye, babe.”

9:00 A.M.

Ethan entered the still apartment, leaving his coat and suitcase in the entryway. Seeing no sign of life yet, he quietly made his way to the master bedroom. Head just barely poking out from under the comforter, he found her just as she said, spooning his king size pillow.  

He carefully toed off his shoes and parted with his shirt and pants.  He removed his watch, placing it on the top of the dresser, but left his other accessory on.

Lifting the comforter, Ethan climbed into bed scooting up against her backside and wrapped his arm tightly around her. Though jarring her from sleep, the familiar touch and scent instantly quieted her alarm.  

“Surprise,” he breathed into her ear before kissing her cheek and trailing down her neck.

With a raspy morning voice she uttered “Hiiiii” while her hands hugged his arm, the feel of braided leather under one of her palms.  

“Did you have better dreams after we talked?” he mumbled against the skin of her exposed shoulder.

Rolling over, she nudged him flat onto his back and slowly straddled his hips. “Mhmmm, the best. And it looks like they’re about to become reality,” she smirked before leaning down and kissing him deeply.  

Tag List: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @potionsprefect @jamespotterthefirst @annfg8 @peonierose @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @jerzwriter @quixoticdreamer16 @mysticalgalaxysstuff @inlocusmads @txemrn @trappedinfanfiction @mvalentine @takemyopenheart @ofmischiefandmedicine @openheartforeverinmyheart @doriopenheart @coffeeheartaddict2 @genevievemd @starrystarrytrouble

[jcmarchi]

Detachable cardiac pacing lead may improve safety for cardiac patients

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/detachable-cardiac-pacing-lead-may-improve-safety-for-cardiac-patients/

Detachable cardiac pacing lead may improve safety for cardiac patients

In 2012, Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon, died of post-surgery complications at the age of 82 following what should have been a routine heart surgery. Armstrong had undergone bypass surgery, the most common open-heart operation in the United States, and a surgery where the overall chance of death has dropped to almost zero.

Armstrong’s death was caused by heart damage that occurred during the removal of temporary cardiac pacing leads. Pacing leads are routinely used to monitor patients and protect against the risk of postoperative arrhythmias, including complete blockages, during the recovery period after cardiac surgery. However, because current methods rely on surgical suturing or direct insertion of electrodes to the heart tissue, trauma can occur during implantation and removal, increasing the potential for damage, bleeding, and device failure.

A coffee chat in 2019 about Armstrong’s untimely death helped inspire new research, published in the journal Science Translational Medicine. The research demonstrates findings that may offer a promising new platform for adhesive bioelectronic devices for cardiac monitoring, diagnosis, and treatment, and offer inspiration for the future development of bioadhesive electronics.

“While discussing the story, our team had a eureka moment that we probably could do something to prevent such complications by realizing a completely atraumatic version of it based on our bioadhesive technologies,” says Hyunwoo Yuk SM ’16, PhD ’21, a former MIT research scientist who is now the chief technology officer at SanaHeal. “It was such an exciting idea, and the rest was just making it happen.”

The team, comprising researchers affiliated with the lab of Xuanhe Zhao, professor of mechanical engineering and of civil and environmental engineering, has introduced a 3D-printable bioadhesive pacing lead that can directly interface with cardiac tissue, supporting minimally invasive adhesive implantation and providing a detachment solution that allows for gentle removal. Yuk and Zhao are the corresponding authors of the study; former MIT researcher Jue Deng is the paper’s first author.

“This work introduces the first on-demand detachable bioadhesive version of temporary cardiac pacing lead that offers atraumatic application and removal of the device with enhanced safety while offering improved bioelectronic performance,” says Zhao.

The development of the bioadhesive pacing lead is a combination of technologies that the team has developed over the last several years in the field of bioadhesive, bioelectronics, and 3D printing. SanaHeal, a company born from the team’s ongoing work, is commercializing bioadhesive technologies for various clinical applications.

“We hope that our ongoing effort on commercialization of our bioadhesive technology might help faster clinical translation of our bioadhesive pacing lead as well,” says Yuk.

[pastelgrungewrecker]

Memorypurge || Sg

{If you had a problem, then you should have told me Before you started getting all aggressive and controlling You only drink the water when you think it's holy}

He remembers before the white streaks in dark hair- before the smile went crooked. Before teeth were sharp and cruel to match the tongue behind them.

Remembered the plainness; the comfort in the ordinary.

He closes his eyes, exhaling a mix of smoke and breath standing on a balcony paid for with blood money and he remembers when hands unscuffed by violence made creme coffees with a half-pout.

He remembered beauty in the everyday, and it hurt to mourn its loss.

[The first heartbreak is vivid, it is cruel. Brainstorm will never, could never, admit that was the exact moment he decided he disliked the Good Doctor- the high and mighty CMO with his debonaire grin and early-greying hair.

The first heartbreak- the first time the MTO holds his roommate and friend as he sobs like he’s dying, like it’s a terminal diagnosis and perhaps... perhaps it was back then.

It lasts a week- then some other medic, Pharra? Something like that, is carted out on a gurney with a few cracked bones and Ratchet is swearing that it was all lies.

Brainstorm never believed him- even when the security cameras exonerated him; especially not with what happened far later.]

Brainstorm looks to the side- seeing the worn out husk next to him on this balcony. Shirt torn, a soft drip stain on the collar from cocktail number too many when Brainstorm finally fished him out after getting a comm from Ratchet with nothing but a location and an apology.

Percy stares at nothing, through infinity and the midnight fog that plagued the colony-city from the force-output of habitation systems.

A drip of condensation down the lens of glasses with one side blacked out and decorated. A misplaced tear from an eye that replayed nothing but another shot to a heart that couldn’t take much more.

[The third heartbreak, now. The second so easily forgotten and only lasting a few days but the third seemed personal- the return of the once-upon-a-backyard-beating medic; Pharma was his name. Brainstorm would remember after this; the smug way he smiled as he relaxed on a couch Percy picked out; the Industrialist remembered the videocall he’d gotten roped into, covered in welding burns and oil stains as Percy excitedly babbled about ‘finally being an honest lad’ and moving in with the CMO.

A week after infection. Two days after base return.

Percy was still barely eating when he caught the Doctors. He refused to eat until Brainstorm forced him.

He cried, sipping thin broth and refusing all else-

Brainstorm nearly cried when Percy finally ate- stealing a few bites from the blossoming Warmaster’s takeout stir-fry. He’d never admit it, though.]

Percy’s hand moves; lethargic, twitching two fingers for the cygarette he had passed to Brainstorm.

“These’ll kill you faster than the infection, you know.”, sneers Brainstorm even though his voice is gentle, worried, “You’d be better off kicking the habit.”

“Death is welcome, precious.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’ve yet to lie to you, why start now?”, asked the sniper, head slowly turning as the burning was brought to swollen lips. The cherry-tip burns brightly on the inhale, the exhale leaks between carnivore’s fangs and whispers over the marks they left from chewing on Percy’s lips, “I promised, once, I’d always be honest with you.”

Brainstorm looked away.

[”Sometimes you can keep secrets.”, says Brainstorm flatly.

“I always swore I wouldn’t lie to you, remember?”, laughs his roommate, “And it would be rude to leave you out of the good news!”

“I’m glad you got back with King Dumbfuck of Bullshit Mountain, PhD alright? But I REALLY didn’t need a play by play of how he APOLOGIZED-”

“Oh come on, I didn’t get GRAPHIC.”

“Maybe I’m a little jealous!”

Percy rolls his eyes (They’re bright again in this memory, untouched by infection or bullet wounds and deep in color behind the scientist’s reading glasses) before draping himself over Brainstorm’s shoulders. He hugs him tightly, and Brainstorm chuckles softly even as his chest clenches like his ribs are breaking.

“No matter what happens or who it is- you’re still my closest frie-]

The memory cuts short when Percy coughs sharply. Brainstorm turns, worry passing over his face before he schools it stoic and he pushes away from the balcony as Percy gets to his feet and moves to the barrister.

The sniper coughs again, pounding a fist against a too-narrow chest and spitting something like tar into the night.

“Hell was that.”

“Sometimes the respiratory growth gets a little feisty.”, rasps Percy before he steps back to drop into the chair he vacated, “It. Overcorrects, sometimes.”

“....It’s filling your lungs, isn’t it.”

“Yes.”

[They get back together, they break up. Finally... Finally it seems permanent. The first time Percy actually fights back with more than just tears and screaming- The first time Brainstorm strides into lockup without his coat or gloves and annoyance scrawled on his face like a madman’s prophecy and sees Percy sitting hunched over and smoking.

“Just when I thought you already had the WORST taste- that’s the vice you choose?”, asks the Warmaster with a raised eyebrow; before taking a step back at the way Percy’s eye slides to stare at him like a serpent.

“Did he die, then.”

“...No, but they’ll be digging shrapnel out of him for a few good hours. The fuck did you hit him with?”

“You told me your spiral rounds could take down anything, precious. So I tested them out for you.”

“...You stole my experimental ammunition and shot your long term on again off again boyfriend eighteen times in the chest.”

“I did.”

“....And the slug in his stomach?”

“My pistol jammed. Shotgun was on the wall.”

“You could have killed him.”

“Horseshit- He’s got enough mods he’ll be fine. Besides...”, Percy dropped the remnants of the cygarette on the holding cell floor and ground it out with a heeled boot, “How many times has he killed me and handed my body off to you?”]

Brainstorm runs a hand through his own dark curls, shaking them out from the glaze of condensation he can feel from the fog and his own naturally high temperature.

“Percy.”

“Yes.”

“Can you just. Fuck, be angry? Be upset, something?!”

“No.”

“WHY?!”, snarls Brainstorm, “YOU’RE DYING AND WE ALL SEE IT- YOU LEFT WITH THE WRECKERS AND CAME BACK MORE BROKEN THAN YOU WERE! LOOK AT YOU, INFESTED AND INFECTED AND DRYING UP FROM ALCOHOL POISONING IN MY FUCKING HAB!”

The words echo into the night air. Percy doesn’t react.

“PLEASE, JUST BE ALIVE FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES, BE A PERSON JUST FUCKING COME BACK AND... AND...-”

Brainstorm stands in front of Perceptor now, grabbing his shoulders too tight and shaking him; hauling the sniper up to his feet and shaking him until teeth clack painfully together and Percy’s good eye goes wide in shock.

“GIVE ME BACK MY PERCEPTOR GOD DAMN YOU!”

[It seems permanent. Percy mourns and mourns again, his first stint as a Wrecker having cracked something in him and Brainstorm wonders if it was his shell.

Suddenly he’s bright, too bright but just shining enough to catch the now-Warmaster’s eye; he fights back in their arguments instead of placating and de-escalating- they stand toe to toe and face to face and something ties itself into a knot in the bottom of Brainstorm’s stomach when Percy grins up at him and fucking winks of all things; base flirtation from a rival PROVEN inferior...

He’s lying, lying to himself and others and he proves it in Storeroom 873 when he pins his ‘rival’ quadrant supervisor to the wall and doesn’t fight the sniper’s slim leg hooking around his waist. He leaves the lab that day wiping away a smear of lipstick he’s never worn and Percy is seen later touching up the cosmetics he wears in flagrant disregard for lab protocol.

They don’t talk about it; later, they insist it’s only to get under Quark’s skin- since he burned both of them, clearly. Nothing more than that.

Nothing more than that.]

Percy stares at Brainstorm, good eye watering before spilling over and Brainstorm’s grip on the sniper’s arms is bruising and hateful and painful all at once because that’s what love is to them anymore.

“There IS no Perceptor, anymore.”, whispers the sniper, sniffling for a moment before something manic flickers in his good eye. Brainstorm watches and feels his heart break and soul grieve as he watches the mycomutagen that surges through his lov- best friend take over once again-

Pulling the sniper away from mindbreaking grief and realization. Pulling Percy away from the line between craving and catching death.

Pulling Perceptor down into the depths to use Percy’s facade for survival.

“There’s no Perceptor anymore! Because even you can admit I was a whiny, pathetic little leech.”, snapped the sniper before he shoved Brainstorm back- cold hand against warm chest and the sniper followed- his smile unhinged and unnerving.

“Besides, darling- you never minded who I’ve become in other scenarios.”, he cooed; clawlike hands tracing over the MTOs skin all the way up to his jaw, “You never minded who I’ve become in the labs. In the bedroom. Anywhere we’ve managed to land since That happened.”

Brainstorm felt his cheeks heat up, and he looked away.

“...Sometimes I do miss it.”

“The coffee fetching little house bitch is gone and the CMO killed him.”, snapped Percy, pushing away and stalking off, “And Lock helped toss the body so go send your complaints up their chain, dear.”

Brainstorm watches Percy’s back; watches as he pulls his shirt open and adjusts it haphazardly- unbuttoned to the navel and showing thin necklaces from once upon a belief in gods forgotten- and the sniper turns to glare over his shoulder.

“Let’s be honest, sweetheart- you miss the control you had. You don’t miss who I was. No one does.”

“You can’t-”

“If you really missed him then perhaps, just maybe, you should have loved him while he was here.”, says the sniper in a whisper that still carries in the night air, “Then perhaps he would have had a reason to stay.”

Brainstorm watches Percy leave- watches Percy leave and once again it’s Perceptor and he’s smiling and tired and assuring in a voice made soft by exhaustion and overwork.

[“I promised I’d be honest- back when Chromedome brought you to my hab and we became roomies, remember?”

And Brainstorm nods, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“It’ll be six months, Stormy.”, he laughs, “And then I’ll be back- I’ll come home to you like I always do.”

They link pinky fingers, giving a smile. The closest to a kiss goodbye they could be.]

“You l-lied.”, hiccups Brainstorm, sinking down to sit with his bare back against the barrister, “You said it would be. Six months. And you’d come back ho-ome to me. Like you always do.”

He hugs one leg, forehead resting on his knee. He doesn’t cry- but he grieves.

A week later, Brainstorm is informed Percy’s leave on Kimia was cut short the same night the sniper stormed off. He asks why, and is given a mission name and waved away by Xaaron.

“Garrus Nine? The hell would they send him to some refugee colony in the middle of nowhere for?”

But when he sees the make and designer of the Worldburner newly attached to the Trion- he can’t help but remember who Percy was.

He can’t help but remember before white streaks in dark hair; before twisted fangs and icy eyes.

He squeezes his eyes shut- only for a moment, only for long enough to let him breathe-

He gave up on Perceptor coming home years ago, anyway.

[justacynicalromantic]

idk I have never had to resort to tricks to get the doctors to take me seriously, so this all sounds kind of wild to me.

but as per my observations, that might be because most ppl tend to rumble nonsense in doctor's office, instead of actual important facts.

"I have pain in my chest" - and?

It can be simple Osteochondrosis because you are sitting hunched over your computer too much.

You are afraid you have a heart disease and want the doctors to pay attention to this particular topic? DON'T JUST say "I have pain in my chest". Say "My chest started hurting suddenly and it doesn't let up no matter the position I take. I feel weirdly weakened and it's hard to stand, I feel faint when I do and I have to breathe faster when I stand as if I just took a run".

FACTS people. You DO NOT need to bring up some other people in your life noticing anything, if YOU YOURSELF actually start counting facts how your everyday life state worsened as of late, PLUS, you also have this weird chest pain that won't let up.

I promise you, you won't have to resort to tricks after that. If you say it how I described above, the doctors will definitely start checking your heart.

Also? It's not your job to give yourself a diagnosis. It's the doctor's.

You can never know more than the doctor, but if you somehow trick him into checking whatever you have read on the Internet, you actually might miss the actual disease you actually have. Ha.

Just list how your daily functions have been impeded, then list what you feel - any pain or discomfort. It is enough.

This ABSOLUTELY works.

I have used this for many years. Definitely b do it.