#prolific is putting it mildly

[foxmonkey]

There's someone on AO3 with two pseuds. They've written 922 works (nine hundred and twenty-two!!!) under one, and 198 (one hundred and ninety-eight!!!) under the other.

1,050 works in all. One thousand, fifty. My mind is boggling.

[tossawary]

This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.

"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.

"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.

I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.

[raineandsky]

#43

It’s been three weeks since the hero saw their villain. None of the other heroes have arrested them, none of the superheroes have killed them—or at least not that they’re admitting. It’s been long enough to make the hero restless, and they figure they’ll have to be the one to find out where they’ve gone.

The hero isn’t proud of the fact they know where the villain lives. They found out by pure coincidence, honestly, and once they had the information it refused to leave their mind no matter how unprofessional they knew it was. They’ve never been here before—work stays at work, and they’re not coming all the way out here just for one villain—and today marks the first of them knocking on the door.

A hero announcing their arrival is clearly unexpected, since the villain answers the door looking mildly startled. The hero never imagined them to be so casual; their usual flowing coats and all-black, slender outfits are replaced with an oversized t-shirt and a pair of loose joggers. 

“Oh my god,” is the opening the villain graces them with.

“Where the hell have you been?” the hero demands, and it’s only now that they’re saying it that they realise that it’s a little weird to ask. Why would they care?

“Why do you care?” the villain snaps like they read their nemesis’s mind. “It’s none of your business where I’ve been.”

“It is when my job is on the line because the city’s most prolific criminal is missing,” they retort shortly, and the villain scoffs.

“Well, you know I’m here now, so you’re welcome. Bye.” The villain starts to swing the door shut but the hero catches it, their foot caught between the door and the frame. They don’t want to admit how heavy the door is. They can feel the bruise forming already.

“Absolutely not.” The hero shoves themself through the doorway a little in an effort to stop the villain from their valiant attempts to shut them out. “Why’d you disappear for so long? What kind of evil scheme are you planning?”

“Just wanted some time off!” the villain cries with a surprising amount of dismay as the hero slips into their house. “I don’t know why you’re coming in, there’s nothing to see in here.”

The place is oddly domestic and well-kept. It seems that the villain is strangely… tidy. “And that makes me suspicious. There’s definitely something in here.” The hero beelines for the door across the hall from them and the villain tries desperately to stop them.

“God, I should’ve answered the door with my knife like I usually do.” The villain makes a last ditch effort to pull the hero away as they slowly push the door open. “I need my dignity intact, please don’t—”

The door creaks on its hinges, and the noise is met with small, heartfelt shrieks. It takes the hero a moment to realise the sound is coming from below them, and a glance down reveals several tiny, ferociously meowing kittens.

“Jesus Christ,” the villain mutters as the hero takes in the sight. One of the kittens is already attempting to climb their leg, sharp claws digging into their thigh.

“Is… is this where you’ve been?” the hero asks uncertainly. It feels like they’ve come to the wrong house—the place is so nice, and home to a flurry of kittens who’ve all decided to hop on the trend of climbing the hero like a tower. The only indicator that they did get it right is the fact the villain is here at all, looking particularly flustered as they try and pull some of the claws out of the hero’s suit.

“That’s none of your business,” the villain snaps coldly over the racket of kittens yowling for attention, “but maybe.”

“Why’s there so many of them?” The hero gasps like they just put the pieces together. “Wait, the cats are going to be part of whatever plan you’re putting together!”

“That’s the dumbest idea you’ve ever had. Glad you think so highly of me.” The villain dumps a kitten on the floor, which immediately starts its climb again. “But no. I’m a villain, not an immoral freak. The kittens are just fosters for a few weeks.”

A couple of the kittens have taken to trying to climb the villain now, and they just let it happen. “I can’t believe this. You put everything aside for cats?”

“Yeah, they need feeding every few hours.” One of the kittens has reached their shoulder in record-breaking time, snuggling into the crook of their neck. “Can’t exactly go and whoop your ass in that kind of time. I have to be here until I send them off again.”

The hero can only stare as the villain gives the cat on their shoulder a scratch under its chin, and it purrs so loud it sounds like TV static. “This one’s my favourite,” the villain continues idly. “He’s called Beanie, but I think Harbinger of the Apocalypse suits him better.”

The cat’s purr somehow gets louder as if he agrees, and the hero raises their eyebrows. “Okay, there is still villainy at play here. Naming an animal like that is cruel.”

“He likes it!” the villain defends, but there’s an uncharacteristic softness to their tone. “I might keep him anyway, so I’ll get to name him whatever I want.”

The hero hates this. The sight of the villain, dressed down, normally, with a tiny kitten perched on their shoulder and leaning into their fingers, it’s—Jesus, it’s making them soft. They can’t believe this is making them reconsider how they see the villain.

“It’s kind of unfair that you stay here while I do the dirty work in the city,” the hero points out, and the villain frowns slightly, finally tearing their gaze from the kitten. “I’ll go half and half on the care with you if you actually go back out and let the agency know you’re not planning to end the world.”

The villain squints at them suspiciously. “Is this an excuse to rummage through my house?”

“You have a pretty good security system.” The hero gestures to the kittens clamouring over them. “I just need you to save my job, please. I know you keep everything at your lair, anyway.”

The villain scowls as if this is somehow a bad thing, but after a moment they nod. “Alright. I’ll write down everything they need and when, and we’ll take it in turns. I need a break, anyway—they’re needy.”

The hero smiles, and the relief that they don’t have to worry about the agency’s paranoia anymore is overwhelming. The kittens might even provide some much needed stress relief. “Perfect.”

[stripedstarsblueflags]

ok i KNOW i’m late to the party but here are some of my headcanons about the “Damnnnnnnn. Someone’s been out buying new clothessss$” (and i did have to zoom in to count all the n’s)

running bit/inside joke: so the bit started weeks or months before, when lando started to tease oscar about his sense of style– or lack there of. “literally everything is shorts and a t-shirt. you have like two outfits.” “i don’t need anymore outfits.” “you look like a school kid!” “i still look older than you–” “seriously what’s wrong with buying new clothes?” just unnecessarily being a <little shit> about it. and then whenever lando shows up to the paddock wearing something mildly ridiculous and awkward but at least eye catching, he waits for someone to comment and then he says, “yeah, you know it’s sad i was gonna just wear shorts and a t shirt but i couldn’t find any” while looking directly at oscar. and ofc oscar’s rolling his eyes and trying not to laugh and like you literal dumbass what is your problem but of course he laughs anyway because it’s lando. fast forward however long this goes on for until finally oscar posts something on like his private insta or something with the new trousers and lando is like 😱 LOOK AT YOU and they have a whole DM conversation about it where lando is just being super super dramatic and pretending this is the most amazing picture he’s ever seen and borderline thirsting and oscar is like 😳 but obviously playing it cool over the phone (and in general). and eventually the conversation turns into something else but while they’re both still online oscar posts the plane pic, and he doesn’t say anything to anyone about it but lando’s like you did that just for me didn’t you 😈 and comments IMMEDIATELY. and back in the dms oscar replies to the comment like “you happy?” and lando just sends back “very”

pre-established relationship/boyfriend coded: pre-established secret boyfriends where lando is the world’s most prolific hoodie stealer. actually it doesn’t even have to be limited to hoodies it’s also shirts (the bigger the shirt the better) and probably like blankets and hats too. anything that makes him feel small. at one point lando’s like “i’m cold :( why don’t you have anything cozy” and oscar’s like “you can wear your own clothes then” and it comes out a little harsher than he means it to and he can see in lando’s eyes he didn’t take it the right way, because lando’s reactive and he overanalyzes things and he takes everything straight to the heart, so even though oscar apologizes and emphasizes he’s not mad or frustrated he still feels kind of bad about it. so he gets just a few new clothes because he doesn’t want to seem like he’s overcompensating but now he like finally owns something with a warm lining on the inside at least, and he doesn’t tell lando at first just posts the picture. but lando sees and he notices instantly and he knows that he’s supposed to be as nondescript and inconspicuous as possible and that their social media profiles are still vulnerable and they have to sleep with one eye open to keep their relationship hidden but he just can’t help himself. he convinces himself like “it’s just text people can’t hear my tone of voice, they’ll just imagine however they want to imagine it” and for the most part that’s true and it takes him so little time to work out “happy softboi bf impulse” vs “being rational and calculating risks” that he drops the comment that same minute

same plane: lando takes the picture. as oscar’s taking back his phone and setting up the post he says “what should the caption be” and lando’s original answer is a variation of his actual comment, “damnnnn been out buying new clothes$” or smth. and oscar just unexpectedly cracks up like “what?? i can’t put that on my own post it sounds like i’m checking myself out” and they have the silliest play-argument about it like “that’s a perfectly normal caption” “what are you TALKING about there’s something wrong with you” “I can’t believe you won’t use my caption that’s so rude” and getting the giggles about it and finally oscar just posts it. and lando pretends to be checking his own phone or sending a text with the most serious face he can muster but then oscar gets a notification immediately and he checks it and that’s lando’s comment. and they laugh too hard about it and oscar is like “you’re ridiculous i’m sharing that” and lando’s like “yeah go ahead it’s a great comment 😂” and it’s only *after* oscar’s shared the post and the comment on his story that lando is like oh shit. that looks really fucking flirtatious and he gets really flustered and he’s like i hope osc doesn’t take it that way but he gets the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling anyway and he’s laughing a little too long and oscar’s like “mate come on it’s not that much” and lando’s like “yeah yeah no sorry ☺️ nothing much”

anyway haven’t posted any hcs on this account yet but i have so many and i write them so much faster than my actual fics so we’ll see how this goes

[secret-unburnt-guitars]

Hi i don't know much abt styx aside from general prog fandom osmosis but kwh has always intrigued me a little bit. Can you explain it in excruciating detail? (genuinely i'm not being sarcastic)

*cracks knuckles*

on february 22, 1983, styx released their eleventh studio album Kilroy Was Here. it was a concept album/rock opera though dennis deyoung likes to call it more of a "rock theatrical experience" in recent interviews. they even made a minifilm they played before the concert!!!! you can find it and the rest of caught in the act on youtube

it was made partially as a response to the rise of the satanic panic in the early-mid 1980s. people started to believe that rock music was evil and hiding satanic messages. the band was targeted by the public when they were accused in particular by the government of arkansas (i think?) of putting backwards messages (called backmasking) in their song Snowblind (the line "i try so hard to make it so" sounded like "satan moves through our voices" to some people. i own a copy of paradise theatre, that track in particular is damaged.).

and then dennis deyoung had a GREAT IDEA!!!!!!!!

imagine a big ol lightbulb flashing over him while the rest of the members of styx watch in mortal dread

so basically the album follows a sort of loose and vague backstory that's somehow still solid enough for people to follow some sort of a plot in their head (which is slightly backed up by Caught In The Act, the designated KWH "concert," which i'll get to in a second). the basic synopsis (paraphrased but still in excruciating detail) is as such:

set in a futuristic chicago(?) rock and roll has been made illegal under code 672 (prohibits the playing and purveying of rock music). Dr. Everett Righteous (played by JY), who was responsible for this, is the leader of the majority for musical morality or the MMM for short. the MMM is one of the strongest organizations in this universe since you know. they literally convinced congress to criminalize an entire genre of music for the entire country. righteous also hosts a television show where he encourages the public to burn guitars and records in a huge bonfire during “nightly rallies”. he also projects himself onto a big triangle over the skyline which i think is fucking hilarious i haven’t been able to get over it

Robert Orin Charles Kilroy (played by Dennis DeYoung, of course he's the title character), was a prolific rock musician at the time of the ban. he was thrown in prison for breaking the law and after being framed of murder. they accused him of bashing an MMM crusader's head in (which he obviously didn't do) after they raided one of his concerts at the paradise theatre. he then goes to rot in prison and is subjected to attempts of brainwashing by the dr. righteous show with the other “rock n’ roll misfits” they’ve arrested. it doesn’t work lol. i don't understand how it would work BECAUSE IT'S NEVER EXPLAINED

the prison kilroy is rotting in is maintained/monitored by japanese import, mass produced robots dubbed the "robotos," hence the title track. ignore how racist they look, it was 1983, this is not my fault

i mildly dislike them but it sucks how they’re essential to the plot ANYWAYS

here comes Jonathan Chance, (played by Tommy Shaw, albeit reluctantly) who is a rebel that is part of a underground resistance (that's only really mentioned once). with his friend, he breaks into some unknown area that is most likely a recording studio and hijacks the live television recording of the dr. righteous show. he proceeds to namedrop himself and then run off

credit to @mccoys-killer-queen for the gifs!!

kilroy sees this happen, which inspires him to attempt to escape the prison. kilroy incapacitates a roboto that visits his prison cell and disguises himself as it so he can escape without being noticed (i do not like the way he does this)

after kilroy escapes, he goes throughout the city and leaves messages for jonathan, leading him back to the paradise theater which is now the Dr. Righteous Museum for Rock Pathology

it's got a bunch of shitty animatronics that include people like jimi hendrix and elvis presley, but at the very back is an animatronic of kilroy repeatedly bashing in someone's head

this is my favorite part of the minifilm which i've basically explained sorry. you see like what you think is another roboto emerge from the shadows, and then it takes off its mask AND IT'S THE ACTUAL KILROY!!!

(this is taken from the live show, the transition is so goddamn dope)

and then dennis deyoung prances around and has his little pick me theater main character moment and sings mr. roboto and dances and stuff it looks so stupid. the live version of mr. roboto is way funnier than the official music video i don't know. i posted it about here before but i love this part in particular

so that's how kilroy and jonathan meet and that's basically the plot of one of styx's most popular songs!! sorry i gave kind of a play by play of the minifilm

now here's the fun part !!!! (unfinished lore/controversy)

unfortunately the reception of this album was less than satisfactory for most people back in '83, since KWH was way far away from the brand that styx had made for themselves in the 70s. they made art rock and prog, but this was just straight up synthpop. some people liked it though. i read somewhere in an article that it "alienated their male audience" and honestly if you're alienated by a little bit of gay pick me theater bs from your favorite band, that's a you problem

caught in the act was the designated "kilroy concert" that styx did sometime in 1983. the concert, however, doesn't give any. depth. to any additional explanations of multiple plot holes present in the story. as much as i love and cherish dennis deyoung he didn't do a very good job at writing this.

caught in the act felt more like a compromise than a show, seeing as the banter after the performance of mr. roboto was very bare? kilroy explains to jonathan that he was framed for murder, and then he goes in depth on the night it happened. "the crowd was totally psyched," he says, and then it goes to JY performing a guitar solo, which leads into the rest of the concert. the entire concert was portrayed as a flashback and gives no real backstory to any of the established characters. and then at the tail end of the concert they get "raided" by the MMM and you watch as an MMM officer murders one of righteous' own followers with kilroy's guitar. they cut back to kilroy and jonathan, they sing haven't we been before, and then kilroy hands jonathan this sick ass glowing guitar, then they perform the world's worst finale. the dance party ending of caught in the act. it sucks. it's horrible. i hate it. also there is no dennis deyoung in the kilroy was here universe lmfao

i'm still grateful for the concert though don't get me wrong!!! amazing concert

if the rest of styx didn't want to rip dennis deyoung apart for making them do this (i recently learned from a manager that DDY made them turn down an opportunity to perform at one of the largest concerts of the 80s, because he was like "but muh kilroy"), i believe songs off the album like High Time and Double Life would have been performed at Caught in the Act. both extremely lore-heavy songs, especially double life. i really wish they played double life. but c'est la vie, i guess.

literally everyone in the band hated dennis' guts so much while they were making this (justified, he was a stubborn asshole during production) but god was it worth it. for me at least. i imagine one of the conversations about production went like

JY: dennis have you considered that maybe this is a bad idea Dennis: i'm gonna make you the villain of the story if you don't shut the FUCK UP

i still think that JY had a little bit of fun though. he was hamming it tf up as dr. righteous i'm sorry you need to watch the mv's which you can find on youtube as well

but unfortunately tommy shaw wasn't having a good time at all, he literally quit on stage and stormed off and styx split for a while bc of this album i mean LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO PISSED OFF

overall this album is both cheese AND corn, worst album i've ever listened to, and yet it's given me a purpose in life. i've written 7,000+ words in one document about this album just to try and fill in the blanks the lore has, it's got so many. it's a running joke on this blog, i really hope you check out the album, because i think it's wonderful and it's endearing regardless of the controversy, it's too late for me. save yourself

[mha-cuties-pls]

Alleyways and Avenues.

Part 2 of 4 | pairing: Dabi x Reader | rating: T (language, themes) | genre: suspense

Read ‘Part 1’ here.

Read ‘Part 3’ here.

You soon fell into a comfortable silence walking down the alleyway; He was guiding you by leading the way slightly, but you stayed close to his side.

Looking up at him, you watched the way his shaggy black hair flopped slightly with every step he took, and the way it seemed to shine so brightly under the sparse street lights. “Do you dye your hair?” You finally squeaked out.

He turned his head back to look down at you, and you saw a small smile curling on his deliciously plump lips- not that you were looking or anything.

“On occasion.” His smooth voice hit your ears pleasantly, “surprised you noticed.” Turning his head back around, he trekked forward a few more steps in silence while he shoved his hands inside his pockets. It almost looked like he was trying to think of a way to say something, but you beat him to it.

“Why did you help me?”

And as soon as the words left your mouth, he immediately stopped walking, and just stood there facing away from you for a second, in silence; declining to answer. At least at first, so you decided to ask again, “why would you help me if you didn’t have to?”

Finally, he turned around to face you, and while you weren’t necessarily expecting anything, the look on his face surprised you.

“I wasn’t helping you.” He said rather plainly.

His expression lacked in emotional investment, and the aloof look in his eyes seemed to come on all at once. It was mildly startling, but you didn’t feel any ill will directed towards you so tried to remain calm.

You stared up at him in silence, trying to decipher the moment you were in. Both of you simply stood facing each other in the dark alleyway, waiting for something to happen next.

Though he seemed to break the tension that was building in the air by throwing you a small smile, which, you hate to admit, made your heart skip a beat. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

Your face must’ve twisted up into a funny expression at his inquiry, because he laughed a bit at your innocent response. “No, am I supposed to?”

The air around you two suddenly turned light and warm again as you felt his demeanor softening once more. “Not necessarily.” The dark haired man took a moment to lock eyes with you while you walked, and you felt your heart race for some reason as he stared into your eyes with his strikingly beautiful blue ones. Though, he averted his gaze down with a smile still on his lips, while he began to lead you down the alleyway again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why were you walking around back alleys past midnight in the midori prefecture?”

Which was a fair question; the midori prefecture is known as one of the most dangerous in Japan due to prolific crime and poverty that seems to mark the territory. But now, it seems as if it were your turn to be tongue-tied.

Staying silent, you stared up the man walking in front you with apprehension; the way you played the next few moments could be a matter of life and death.

What you were doing in that area so late at night wasn’t exactly legal, nor respected. If you were to admit this to the average citizen, there was a great chance you’d be putting your own freedom at risk.

Though, this man was obviously no ordinary citizen; He was also walking around that same prefecture past midnight, and had this certain air about him that felt as far from organized society as it could get.

But that’s also what scared you- he killed someone in front of you mere moments ago, and he admitted that it was not for the purpose of any benefit to you. He was planning on doing that anyway, so who’s to say he won’t hurt you when he finds out what you are.

Or worse.

“I, uh,” you stuttered, suddenly finding yourself engrossed with twiddling your fingers, “just had some business to take care of there.” Which was not far from the truth, but hopefully vague enough to keep your secret.

Looking back up at his face to see his reaction, you saw his brows scrunched together in question; but he declined to comment on it. It seems as if you were off the hook; at least for now.

“That’s actually why I was there, too.” The man explained, allowing you to drop the previous subject, “that guy that you were having trouble with,” he said with slight emphasis on the word ‘trouble’, “he was in that alley hiding from me.”

His statement caused a jittery feeling to build inside you once more. But, admittedly, you were intrigued; and you must’ve looked it too, because he seemed to answer your question without you even having to ask it.

“Guy was late on a couple pretty substantial payments to my boss,” he said with a shrug, “I was just doing my part of the job to hold the guy accountable.”

Accountable, huh? “So, you’re a loan shark?”

He released a hearty laugh upon hearing your question, and looked down at you with a dashingly handsome smile. “Amongst other things, yeah I suppose.”

Your cheeks suddenly felt hot as he looked at you, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his own; and you felt a small laugh bubble up out of your own chest.

As you continued walking down the alleyway, the conversation between you two flowed easily, and you noticed that the feeling of fear you held in your stomach earlier, had dissipated, and was replaced with something else.

Though as luck would have it, your journey with him through the alleyway, seemed to be coming to an end as you approached the well-lit street ahead.

A/N: ahhhhh part 2 omg ! What do you think the reader is hiding ? Why wouldn’t she want to tell Dabi? And now that the walk is over, where will the story take our two new friends next?

[bonefall]

Oh god, I haven't read books since Omen of the Stars. (I love fanclans/fanfics way more then the books anymore. lol) How have they messed up each clan since the first two arcs?! I know ThunderClan has too many cats and ShadowClan went leaderless or had leadership problems for some reason?? Also SkyClan is there now. Maybe. Again, haven't read the books in forever. (Is the current arc any good? Or better then Omen of the Stars at least?)

The current arc is good, I can promise you that Warriors has never been as slow or as boring as it got mid Po3 - early OotS. I have a lot of issues with AVoS but I would say that all of the modern arcs have been worth reading.

BEFORE WE START: Check out this Helpful Info on my process as I redux the family tree, it contains my Three Strict Rules, the Onestar's Exception, the definition of an Orphan Warrior, etc. Very, very important.

Each Clan has a unique family tree problem;

ThunderClan

The Frostfour (Brackenfur, Thornclaw, Brightheart, Cinderpelt) had THREE cats who were extremely prolific. The entire new generation traces back to them, completely and utterly eradicating genetic diversity.

The fresh bloodlines, from Daisy and Ferncloud, were nerfed so hard with pointless killings that there's no ability to fix modern ThunderClan. The ONLY cats who could save it (Finleap x Twigbranch, Stormcloud) have also been prevented from having kits by the narrative, which is incredibly frustrating.

And it doesn't stop there, because the writers for some reason were obsessed with tracking Firestar's lineage through Bramblesquirrel instead of Lionblaze. They wrenched out Squirrelflight's infertility issues so they could shove two kits into her, while also having Lionblaze produce 3 kittens who have kittens of their own.

It's an exponential problem which made Nightheart's ENTIRE ARC in ASC less serious, because half of the Clan is descended from Firestar while he somehow has 'especially high' expectations.

And the bloat. They keep killing off mildly interesting background characters while not building on the ones they have, so now the Clan is just full of nobodies who have done nothing.

ThunderClan is really bad, in canon.

ShadowClan

Link to Diagnosis

The entire family tree from the earlier arcs is dead. Rowanclaw's one of the few carry-overs. Snowbird specifically is the progenitor of half of the entire Clan, to the point where Sunbeam actually can't be shipped with a cat she isn't directly related to (unless you put her with Blazefire, her mentor, or her mentor's brother.)

SnowbirdClan is so profoundly fucked that I can't save it. I can reasonably fix the others, but ShadowClan is so irrevocably destroyed that I can't save it.

WindClan

Link to Diagnosis

In spite of being full of "Orphan Warriors" (cats without a single parent and usually without children) they still managed to inbreed Heathertail and Breezepelt.

Onestar canonically thinking about how cool inbreeding is in his Super Edition made me so uncomfortable that I made the Onestar's Exception rule on the spot-- an exception that makes Rule 1 (no first cousin pairings) even stricter by banning First-Cousin-Once-Removed as well when there are cats alive who are old enough to remember the great-grandparent.

But that aside, most of WindClan is Orphan Warriors.... MALE orphan warriors. They ran out of women, and then Shellfur stole the ONE clean girl out of WindClan for himself.

Which I must admit is VERY funny. But anyway, fixing this tree means blasting the Woman Beam at most of them.

SkyClan

Link to Diagnosis

THREE first cousin pairings :/ And they only had like 3 generations, come on, it should NOT have been this hard to not bungle this.

Most of the problem is Clovertail and her prolific litters... but also, SkyClan is almost as bad as ThunderClan in terms of bloat. Which is weird because it's not even bloated with all the interesting ex-kittypets from the SEs and SkyClan side content, it's just nobodies because SkyClan queens keep pumping out 3 and 4 kit litters for NO reason.

It was an easy fix though. So I guess I can't complain.

RiverClan

Link to Diagnosis

Missing Generation Fog that settled over RiverClan just after TNP LMAO. That's it that's the whole problem.

Really it's a problem for opening up TOO MANY possibilities, like which cats are Reedwhisker's children. Everyone litter works as Reedwhisker's kids. Reedwhisker is everyone's father. Reedwhisker is YOUR father.

[subjectivemortality]

@duskbornbaker

Actually I'd been meaning to reach out. Do you have any use for honey? My bees are prolific (to put it mildly) and I've exhausted most other avenues for giving away their excess (my neighbors may band together to kill me if I foist anymore jars on them)

[ow-old-men]

Could I interest you in some info about these two idiots?

Kassem 'Kass' H. Malik and Vermont 'Jaime' James are my very own homemade blorbos and for the next week starting today (April 19th), you could help them advance in the @original-character-championship! Go HERE to vote

And why should you?

Well, idk, but I will use this as an excuse to just talk about them so I can for once stop spinning them in my mind. They are also the main characters of a ... thing I'm slowly trying to write. In the simplest terms possible:

Kass and Jaime lead normal, regular lives. And that's easy enough for them, since they don't remember. Don't remember that they're actually immortal, elemental beings of great power who - in order to get out of having to fight in the great war of good and evil - burned away all their memories and powers and rendered themselves mortal. They don't even know that the memories will eventually start to return and that they've done this same thing over and over again; choosing each time to abstain from their responsibility and live on, in safety and hiding and in ignorance, and together

It's about memory, and about devotion, about loving to the point of destruction. It's about the decisions we have neither the right nor the choice but to make and it's about their consequences. It's about the things we must do, the things we are asked to do and all the things that fall between them. About responsibility and fleeing and being scared to death and beyond

And it is about two men who love each other because what else is there to do?

and if you wanna indulge me and simply read, well, the (very rough) draft of the opening to their tale can be found here:

As for their individual characters, well, let’s take them one by one

Vermont, going mainly by the nickname Jaime, is the main instigator of their resets, the one who actually does it and yes, there is a lot of guilt built up there and then buried relentlessly. He’s connected to fire and especially the sun. He’s also kind of a lame guy?

Violently private to cover up a deep inability to connect with the people around him. Smart, but definitely not emotionally, kind but prone to defensiveness and isolation at the mere idea that he or the people he loves are being mildly inconvenienced threatened. He spends most of the time after their resets as a history professor but in a not insignificant amount of cycles he’s also been a carpenter or straight up a lumberjack

If Kass wasn’t around he’d probably be an unironic marvel fan and wear only beige polo shirts and fjällraven pants

Bonus info; on a meta level, he started his life as a spoof on Indiana Jones, that’s also why he’s named that!

Kassem is in turn connected to water and especially the moon. It’s him for asks for the first reset, though he does start out opposed to the idea . On a personal level, he’s plagued by an endless curiosity that has driven him into every new turn of his existence. Kind of restless, filling notebook after notebook with flighty notes about almost everything. He’s a bit of a social chameleon, slotting in everywhere, at least for a while. He wants to understand and he’s good at getting to a place where he can but bad at every staying put. His heart eventually starts aching for whatever else may be out there

On a day to day though, he’s mainly just incredibly smart, and funny in a very sly, downplayed kind of way. Lightning sharp but not about to use it for anything nefarious . He’s an extremely prolific children’s book author (under a ton of pseudonyms) and does have a handful of longer, adult and extremely loose and poetic manuscripts tucked away in a drawer somewhere,. He’s yet to gather the confidence to pursue publishing

—-

In short, They’re kissing on the mouth, they’re so unnormal about each other. They’ve got the world at their fingertips and they’ve never held anything that wasn’t each other. They’re the sun and the moon and they’re continually escaping heaven for a second more alone and together. Eventually they’ll have to turn and face the music, but love, what if we had time yet? There was never anything else they could have done.

[traumaturgic-arts]

Katsuragi

"'Return your thoughts to yesterday,' or 'Cherish the remains of today.' Nothing more." This is my Limbus OC, based on the primordial Japanese yuri story collection Hana Monogatari, and in particular, Yellow Rose within that collection. I think I was able to emulate the game's style decently enough. :) If you're interested, I'll put more info below. Gotta let the brain juices flow somewhere, after all, and why not here?

Particulars: Resentful, regretful, hallucinatory Base E.G.O.: Bouquet of Two Dandelions

Weaponry: - たんぽぽ [Dandelion], an unremarkable sword by most metrics. It's well kept, but worn nonetheless. - 菊花 [Chrysanthemum], a horticultural weapon once wielded by Katsuragi's Office-mate. It's alive, and requires constant care to remain potent. Katsuragi takes better care of this blade than herself, most often, tending to it like a child. It's to the extent that she refuses to even wield the blade in combat, as if afraid that it would shrivel up when fed with blood. Physical Traits: - Katsuragi has dandelions growing from her throat, the roots seeping through flesh and leaving disconcerting marks. It's as if she herself is concrete, the flowers taking bloom where they certainly should not. They began to grow shortly before she became a Sinner; they confer pain and suffocation, but never enough to grant death. - Katsuragi is unable to cease crying. It no longer serves as a means to indicate sadness, but instead is an unbearable, constant reality. The tears water the dandelions around her throat, too, constantly making them continue to grow and giving the appearance of morning dew upon their petals.

Interaction: - Katsuragi, to women, is generally amicable. The Sinner will put on forced smiles, as if faintly attempting to appear a normal citizen of the City. It's simple to see through this, though, and even a fool can tell by the way this woman speaks to the air itself that she is not speaking to them, but an imagined individual. Still, she'll end up answering any questions given to her, and will generally complete any tasks without much complaint. They're distractions from her endless reminders, so why shouldn't she? - To men, however, Katsuragi holds a severe grudge. In most cases, she will merely remain silent, leaving the vicinity and parting with glares. If that is not an option, it is likely for her to speak in venomous terms. Any interaction is minimized by her, and it is clear to others who speak after such incidents that her mood drops considerably upon near every instance of interaction. - Katsuragi can mainly be found engaging in acts of gardening, writing, and sword sharpening. Her passion is in explaining the positives of flowers, yet she seems to willfully avoid mentioning the commonly discussed 'flower meanings'. If that philosophical idea is brought up, she will swiftly redirect the conversation. - Katsuragi's poetry is appropriately flowery, but frequently very sour in tone when one reads below surface level.

Additional Notes: - Katsuragi was formerly a member of the mildly prolific Radiant Flower Office. The Office remains active. - She is literally made based on a primordial yuri influence, of course she's gay. - At some times in the night, others may hear her speaking to herself, laughing and sobbing intermittently. Nobody knows when she sleeps, as the noises persist until the morning comes. - Her former home was within the Nest of V. Corp. I headcanon Valence Corp as a place where union, in every sense, is the most important aspect of life. Its Singularity is not particularly important to Katsuragi, but I made it a small ring that allows one to eliminate the concept of distance in a straight line. The Nest's streets are tailored for using it, with long stretches of open road devoid of cars. - The only consequence of the Singularity in terms of Katsuragi is that she seems unable to comprehend distance on a conceptual level. If you tell her what a kilometer is, she'll simply be confused. Thanks for reading to the end. Have a chibi Katsuragi, and have a nice day. :)

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am (November 5, 2007)

November 5, 2007 saw the release of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am: a real-life video game based on television’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force. A golfing game with a few non-golfing interludes, such as fighting off familiar monsters on each course and some golf-cart racing. You interact with all kinds of characters from the show; a MONSTERS ROW if you will.

Reviews for the game itself are pretty poor, and I can’t really speak to that because I didn’t actually play this game. I watched a compilation of cut scenes and some game play footage. The cut scene compilation excludes some other material, namely the color commentary bits that play as each course loads. There’s a straight-laced “Commentator Guy” and the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. Cybernetic Ghost’s lines are really funny. There’s also some mechanic where you collect footage that you can view from the menu screen but I didn’t successfully find it in any of the youtube videos I watched. I didn’t really look that hard, to be fair. And there was no way I was going to watch a 4-hour play through of this game.

The cut scenes roughly make up almost two episodes worth of content, and they are rendered in a mildly-off-putting computer-animated style, similar to the Drinky Crow show. It’s not ideal, but it suits the game fine, honestly.

And… that’s basically it. I’ll be honest, I was looking for some kind of wonderful reward for watching these cut scenes; like a truly notable nugget or surprise. Like, a Space Ghost cameo would’ve been neat, or something like that. There were mildly interesting things, like the fact that Patton Oswalt seems to have returned to reprise his Frat Alien characters (their initial appearance sounds like they just repurposed old show audio, but unique dialogue began springing up). I could be missing a few things from not sitting through game-play footage, as there are characters who show up during game-play that don’t show up during the cut scenes. But man, am I glad that I didn’t buy this game back in 2007. Mostly because I wouldn't have anything to play it on.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace #1: “Once upon a Beginning” (November 9, 2007 - 11:00PM)

In an earlier review of Saul of the Mole Men, I touched on the concept of the “fake show”. This would definitely qualify. Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace is an artificial rerun; a seemingly repackaged old series with new interview segments featuring the cast as well as it’s star and main creative driving force Garth Marenghi. Marenghi is a popular and prolific Stephen King styled author who briefly dabbled in television Despite the self-agrandizing claims that the show was too shocking or ahead of it’s time for 1980s television, what we see is actually quite shoddy and poor, laughably so. Sorta like a comic parody of a schlocky B-movie, presented by straight-faced actors who are, in turn, portrayed by very funny British people. Matthew Holness plays Garth Marenghi who plays Dr. Rick Dagless. His pal and series co-creator Richard Ayoade plays Dean Learner, who plays Thornton Reed. Dean Learner is Garth’s publisher in fake-real life, and is a particularly terrible actor on the series. Dean Learner actually got his own spin-off fake talk show, which I’ve never seen. Is it good?

There’s also Matt Berry, one of my favorite guys. This was my introduction to him. I mean, this was my introduction to all of these people. Even that broad. What's her deal anyway? Sorry for being sexist for knowing about the guys on the show and not the lady.

In 2009, Adult Swim would bring more British shows to the channel and attempt to launch a British comedy block. It didn’t last too long, but we got some great shows on American television at least. This one was pretty hard to come by at the time; I knew of people importing the region 2 DVD, and this was a godsend.

[denimbex1986]

'Christopher Nolan’s latest feature, the historical drama Oppenheimer, did not open as big as the gargantuan box office smash that is Barbie, but the film has been performing extraordinarily well. The film has drawn respectable box office numbers and rave reviews across the world, mainly due to the "Barbenheimer" mania that’s sweeping across social media. Oppenheimer is also an acting ensemble tour de force, featuring a cavalcade of incredible performers and thespians throughout the film. The cast of Nolan’s Oppenheimer is huge, to put it mildly, with plenty of notable acting talents even appearing in smaller, bit parts. It would come as no surprise if high-profile actors were begging to work on Oppenheimer no matter the part. There are a great many impressive talents throughout the film's cast in supporting roles. However, the true breakout supporting talent in the cast is none other than the highly underrated David Krumholtz, portraying the real-life Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Isidore Isaac Rabi, in the film. Krumholtz delivers an incredible performance in a movie that has no shortage of strong, standout performances, and here’s why he stood out the most.

David Krumholtz Has Had a Long Prolific Career

David Krumholtz has been around the block a time or two. He began his career in Hollywood at a young age, appearing in supporting roles in his teens in such major films as Life With Mikey opposite Michael J. Fox; Addams Family Values for director Barry Sonnenfeld; and The Santa Clause opposite Tim Allen as Bernard the Elf, a role he reprised once again almost 30 years later for the Disney+ continuation, The Santa Clauses. He’s likely best known to television viewers as the mathematical professor Charlie Eppes on the hit procedural show Numb3rs from 2005 to 2010. Krumholtz also had many other notable film roles over the years in the Harold & Kumar films, Serenity, Hail, Caesar!, and Sausage Party.

Krumholtz’s resume defines the term "working actor," and he has built up an eclectic list of credits over the years. His role in Oppenheimer is the culmination of his past work and appears to signify a performer ready to assume a prestige character actor phase of his career, similar to the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman. If anyone has paid his dues to start receiving plum roles such as Isaac Rabi in Oppenheimer, it's a tireless, hardworking actor such as Krumholtz because he hit it out of the park.

Krumholtz Disappears Into the Role of Isidor Isaac Rabi

What is striking and surprising about Krumholtz's performance as Rabi in Oppenheimer is that he completely disappears into the character. While Krumholtz is always a memorable talent, with identifiable features, he looks nearly unrecognizable in Oppenheimer. Something did seem oddly familiar about Rabi at first, and after realizing that it is Krumholtz in the role, it's a gobsmacking realization. It inspires a similar reaction as seeing a talent such as Hoffman as Art Howe in the acclaimed film Moneyball. Some of the best performances are when a notable actor can provoke these types of reactions, and Krumholtz as Rabi fits the bill. It gets to a point where you cannot see where Krumholtz stops and the character of Rabi begins. It's an incredible, outstanding performance.

As one of theoretical physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer's (Cillian Murphy) closest friends, colleagues, and confidantes, Krumholtz as Rabi receives a generous amount of screentime in Nolan's film, especially in comparison to many of Murphy's other costars. Rabi is introduced early in the first act when Oppenheimer is in his 20s and still studying physics abroad. The two meet while traveling to see theoretical physicist Werner Heisenberg (Matthias Schweighöfer) at a science conference in Zurich, Switzerland. The two quickly bond and form an easy friendship. Rabi is later personally requested by Oppenheimer to join his team at Los Alamos to secretly create the atomic bomb as part of the Manhattan Project.

Nolan and Krumholtz depict Rabi’s unconditional friendship with Oppenheimer through a recurring action of Rabi sharing food with Oppenheimer, to make sure his friend receives some nutrition. It's a simple pure act of kindness first shown not long after they meet while traveling together, and it's repeated later when Rabi is brought in as a key witness at a political hearing meant to disgrace and embarrass Oppenheimer. Rabi is one of the few colleagues who remains loyal to Oppenheimer during the hearing and continues to lend him compassion when the hearing was specifically put together to tear Oppenheimer down and belittle him.

Interestingly, it's through Isaac Rabi that the film stages a moral sounding board and divergent voice against Oppenheimer. This makes Krumholtz a crucial role since few characters voice the type of moral disagreements about building the atomic bomb as Rabi does throughout the film. Despite Rabi’s moral misgivings about building the bomb, he is convinced by Oppenheimer to join the project due to the belief that Nazi Germany was also in an arms race to build their own nuclear weapons. Rabi was born and raised in a Polish-Jewish Orthodox family, while Oppenheimer was born to German-Jewish immigrant parents, but raised in a secular, assimilated household. While Oppenheimer is not a strictly religious Jew, it is his and Rabi's Jewish backgrounds and Nazi Germany’s persecution of Jews in the 1930s and 1940s that spurs them on to develop nuclear weapons in the Manhattan Project.

Krumholtz, who was also born and raised as a Jew, yet not currently a practicing one, and it's fascinating how he and Murphy explore their Judaism throughout Oppenheimer. It's also seen through Oppenheimer's rivalry with Robert Downey Jr. as Lewis Strauss, himself a practicing Reform Jew. At one point in the film, Rabi does chide Oppenheimer for never learning Yiddish. Through the characters of Rabi, Oppenheimer, and Strauss, you see men of different branches of Judaism and different Jewish backgrounds clashing with each other. All three actors, especially Krumholtz, play these aspects with wizened maturity and subtlety. In a real-life interview, Rabi once revealed that "Oppenheimer was Jewish, but he wished he weren’t and tried to pretend he wasn’t." Krumholtz gets to play around with that historical knowledge and perspective throughout the film, and it’s a fascinating aspect of their relationship. Despite Rabi holding this view of Oppenheimer, Rabi never appears to resent his friend, and when the government attempts to blacklist Oppenheimer and expose him as a Communist, Rabi remains a loyal friend.

The Quality of 'Oppenheimer'

Putting aside Krumholtz’s outstanding work, Oppenheimer is an exceptional film with a multitude of standout roles by great actors, and it's worth a trip to the theaters. It's great to see an actor such as Krumholtz, who has put in a lot of time during his career, nail such a crucial role in the film. Hopefully, this performance can earn Krumholtz other significant roles in major prestige films in the future. His performance as Isidor Isaac Rabi certainly proves he has the talent and chops to pull such a role off.'

[mashounen1945]

An interesting Star Wars history essay I saw on Reddit (yes, really)

[Star Wars] The Rise and Fall of the Expanded Universe: How Disney's buy-out of Lucasfilm brought a 22-year era to an end, and split sci-fi's biggest fandom in half.

Posted originally by the Reddit user "TheMightyHeptagon" on February 23rd, 2022.

[Link to the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/HobbyDrama/comments/szvovy/star_wars_the_rise_and_fall_of_the_expanded/]

--------------------------------------------------

How did we get here?

Unless you've been frozen in carbonite for the last decade, you've probably noticed that Star Wars is currently bigger and more ubiquitous than it's been in a very long time. You also probably know why that is: the Walt Disney Corporation bought the rights to the franchise in 2012, and Disney subsequently reignited the series by producing a 7th, 8th, and 9th episode—which seemed nearly inconceivable when the prequel trilogy concluded back in 2005. And you've also probably noticed that the Star Wars fandom is (to put it mildly) a bit divided at the moment. For various reasons, the various Star Wars films and TV shows of the so-called "Disney era" have their fair share of both supporters and detractors, and some recent works are more widely beloved than others.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about today.

If you're a relatively casual Star Wars fan who's generally just content to watch the movies (and there's nothing wrong with that), you might not realize that Disney's buy-out of Lucasfilm in 2012 was also effectively the end of an era for the franchise; the effects of that are still rippling through various Star Wars works to this day, and many fans still have strong feelings about it.

So why is it so hard to talk about Star Wars these days without getting into an argument? Why did the Disney buy-out start hundreds of online screaming matches back in 2012 before Disney even released a single film? And what does it all have to do with the European Union?

To answer that last question: absolutely nothing.

See: when a Star Wars fan talks about "the EU", they're probably talking about the "Expanded Universe". So... what's the Expanded Universe?

"A short time ago, in a sci-fi section not so far away..."

The short version:

In the context of the Star Wars franchise, the "Expanded Universe" is a loosely connected series of officially licensed Star Wars works released in various artistic mediums other than live-action films, which provide information that isn't in the movies that make up the core of the franchise.

Technically, the Expanded Universe is the same world as the Star Wars universe—or rather, it was until Disney declared that it wasn't anymore (but we'll get to that).

More broadly speaking: in modern fandom discourse, the term "Expanded Universe" generally refers to works in a popular franchise released in a different medium than the works that initially made the franchise famous, which may or may not be considered part of the franchise's "official" canon. It's most commonly applied to franchises that began as movies or TV shows, where particularly devoted fans might eagerly consume novels or short stories or comic books featuring their favorite characters while awaiting the next episode or installment.

In general, such works tend to act as a supplement to the main story, and they serve to expand the story beyond its primary medium (hence "Expanded Universe"). When writing such works, however, creators generally avoid writing particularly dramatic or pivotal plot turns that would drastically affect the world of the story—since that might alienate relatively casual viewers who don't necessarily have the time or the inclination to hunt down every work in a popular franchise, and the creators generally don't want to make those casual viewers feel like they're missing out on important plot points.

For a while, the Star Wars franchise was famous for being especially prolific in that regard, which probably shouldn't come as much of a surprise. After all: the Star Wars films are set in a whole fictional galaxy filled with hundreds of unexplored planets, and they're brimming with enigmatic references to thrilling events that the audience never sees. The world that George Lucas created is the perfect playground for sci-fi writers.

But when sci-fi fans talk about the "Star Wars Expanded Universe" (or "the EU" for short), they're usually specifically referring to a series of novels published by Bantam Spectra and Del Rey Books (and a few comic books published by Dark Horse Comics) between 1991 and 2013.

So what was it about that 22-year period that made it such fertile ground for Star Wars stories?

Well, that's where it gets a little complicated...

"We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life..."

According to most accounts, the Star Wars franchise has a bit of an odd history because George Lucas' plans for the series were in a constant state of flux for nearly all of his career. Originally, he didn't even plan on Star Wars being a series at all: he just wrote a single screenplay, but had to drastically cut it down at the studio's behest when it turned out to be way too long for one movie; conveniently, that left him with plenty of material for two more movies when the first film turned out to be a surprise hit, and the studio expressed interest in sequels.

And once he started to make plans for continuing the story after the Original Trilogy, he similarly waffled on how many more movies he wanted to make: some sources claim that he wanted to make a full nine movies (or possibly as many as twelve) before the arduous production of The Empire Strikes Back convinced him to trim it down to just six. Even after that, Lucas still considered taking a crack at making his own Sequel Trilogy a few times after the Prequel Trilogy wrapped, and he didn't completely give up on those plans until shortly before the Disney buy-out. Some plot points in Disney's sequels, in fact, were supposedly based on Lucas' own story notes.

But by the early 1990s, Lucas finally seemed reasonably sure that the Star Wars prequels (which were in pre-production at the time) would be the last Star Wars films, ending the series at six movies. Some fans didn't take that news well—at all.

On one hand: the original Star Wars trilogy does tell a more-or-less complete story with a beginning, middle, and end. On the other hand: it also sets up some rather intriguing questions that easily could have been the basis for a whole new saga.

Did another Emperor rise to power after Palpatine died? Did the Rebels win the war? Did Luke become a Jedi Master? Did he ever train an apprentice of his own? And if the Rebels did win the war, how did our heroes handle the responsibilities of running the galaxy? And did the Jedi ever make their glorious return?

Understandably, some fans were bummed that those questions (and dozens more) might never be answered, and they were really bummed that they might never meet the next generation of Jedi.

With all that in mind, you can imagine why it was a really big deal when fans suddenly learned that there would be a new chapter in the saga of Star Wars after all.

No, I'm not talking about when Disney announced the release of The Force Awakens in 2015. This is a different chapter in the story of the Star Wars franchise—and it begins well over two decades before Finn, Rey, Poe Dameron, Rose Tico and the rest of the gang ever saw the light of day.

See: by the late 1980s, the Star Wars franchise was facing an uncertain future. Once the Original Trilogy wrapped up in 1983, and nobody knew exactly when a new trilogy might make its way to theatres, it seemed entirely possible that Star Wars was finished for good. Sure, Lucasfilm managed to tide young fans over with a pair of made-for-TV films in 1984 and 1985 (both of which were inexplicably all about Ewoks), and a couple of Saturday morning cartoons (one of which was... also all about Ewoks) that both ended in 1986. Even Marvel Comics' popular Star Wars comic book series was cancelled in 1987 after running for a full decade. After that, Star Wars basically went into hibernation. There's a reason why the final years of the '80s are sometimes jokingly called "The Dark Times" by fans.

And then, in the dim twilight of the 20th century, something happened.

"Never tell me the odds!"

The year was 1991. The Soviet Union had just collapsed, Boris Yeltsin had just become the first President of Russia, Nelson Mandela and the African National Congress were negotiating an end to the Apartheid in South Africa, CERN scientists had just unveiled "The World Wide Web", Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls had just won their first NBA Championship, The Simpsons was on its second season, Nirvana had just achieved mainstream superstardom with Nevermind, Will Smith was still the star of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, the Golden Age of Hip-Hop was in full swing... and there hadn't been a new Star Wars movie in theatres for nearly a decade.

And then the news broke: Lucasfilm had just reached a deal with venerable science-fiction publisher Bantam Spectra, allowing them to publish an officially licensed Star Wars novel written by Hugo-nominated author Timothy Zahn, widely considered to be a rising star in the world of sci-fi literature.

On its face, the simple existence of a Star Wars novel wasn't that big a deal. After all: Lucasfilm had been allowing the publication of tie-in novels since the 1970s, when they hired prolific sci-fi writer Alan Dean Foster to write the novelization of the original film, and later tapped him to write the original Star Wars novel Splinter of the Mind's Eye (which was based on a proposal for a low-budget Star Wars television film that never got made). There were also a handful of pulpy sci-fi adventure novels in the '80s following the adventures of Han Solo and Lando Calrissian before the timeframe of the movies. So what was so special about this book?

Simple: unlike every other Star Wars novel published up to this point, this one was going to take place after the epic conclusion of Return of the Jedi. In fact, it was going to skip forward a full five years after the deaths of Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine—because it was going to be all about the beginning of a whole new era in the history of the Star Wars galaxy following the Rebels' pivotal victory at the Battle of Endor. Instead of telling the story of a plucky band of outmatched rebels striking a desperate blow against the forces of tyranny, this story would portray Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Leia Organa as the idealistic leaders of a reborn Republic locked in an epic power struggle with a resurgent Galactic Empire.

Even better: the novel was going to be the first in a trilogy of novels. And in a time when many fans had given up hope that they ever get to see a 7th, 8th, and 9th episode on the big screen, that was exactly the kind of news that they'd hoped for. At long last, fans were going to get to see the next chapter of the Star Wars saga—and absolutely anything could happen.

Within a few weeks, Timothy Zahn's Heir to the Empire shot to the top of the New York Times Bestseller List as fans across America rushed to their local bookstores to grab a copy. And within the first few pages, they were introduced to the story's new antagonist. His name was "Thrawn"—and in nearly every way imaginable, he was the complete antithesis of everything that fans had come to expect from a Star Wars villain.

Instead of a sinister Sith Lord dressed in a dark hooded cloak or a fearsome suit of black armour, he was a Grand Admiral in the Imperial Fleet dressed in a crisp white naval uniform. He was also an alien (specifically: a member of a newly introduced species known as the "Chiss"), instantly identifiable by his striking bright blue skin and glowing red eyes. Instead of relying on the vaunted power of the Dark Side, he was determined to best our heroes through good old-fashioned ingenuity and cunning. Instead of brutality, he relied on his strategic genius. And instead of earning the obedience of his men through fear and intimidation, he inspired their loyalty through his unmatched charisma—which made it easier for some fans to root for the Empire without feeling too guilty. To this day, Grand Admiral Thrawn remains one of the most popular characters ever to come out of a Star Wars work, and his fans love him just as much today as they did in 1991.

But with every new chapter, the story introduced more twists and turns, taking every opportunity to flesh out the world that fans had come to love. Readers got to see Chewbacca's home planet of Kashyyyk for the first time (since everybody knows that the Star Wars Holiday Special never happened), they got to meet the slippery information trafficker Talon Karrde, they got to see the galactic capital of Coruscant for the first time (the name "Coruscant" originated in the book, in fact), they got to see a clone for the first time in an official Star Wars work, and they even got to meet Emperor Palpatine's alluring Force-sensitive personal assassin Mara Jade—who was teased early on as a potential love interest for Luke.

(Yes, Luke finally got a love interest who didn't turn out to be his sister. It was pretty exciting at the time.)

All of those thoroughly intriguing ideas (and many more) kept fans hooked all the way through Heir to the Empire and its two sequels Dark Force Rising (released in 1992) and The Last Command (released in 1993). Those three books, retroactively titled "The Thrawn Trilogy", helped push the Star Wars franchise back into the cultural spotlight for the first time since the halcyon days of the Original Trilogy, and they showed that demand for a new series of adventures was just as strong as ever.

But were they any good?

Honestly, most fans will tell you that the answer is a pretty resounding "Yes". The Thrawn Trilogy managed the difficult task of feeling like an authentic entry in the Star Wars saga while fearlessly exploring the aftermath of the movies. It had memorable new characters and thrilling action sequences, it explored poignant themes, and it combined a genuine reverence for the films with an earnest desire to build on them.

The Thrawn Trilogy wasn't a perfect story—but in the areas where it delivered, it delivered big. And even though George Lucas wasn't personally involved in writing its story, he took its success as a sign that audiences were eager for more Star Wars movies. According to some accounts, it was the success of the Thrawn Trilogy that convinced Lucas to fully commit to making the Star Wars prequels. So if not for those three novels, Star Wars might never have returned to theatres.

But as fans soon discovered: the Thrawn Trilogy was just the beginning.

"This is where the fun begins!"

Around the time that Heir to the Empire came out, Lucasfilm also reached a deal with comic book publisher Dark Horse Comics, allowing them to publish officially licensed Star Wars comic books. Thanks to that deal, Dark Horse's officially licensed Star Wars miniseries Dark Empire also hit shelves in 1991, becoming the first new Star Wars comic book since the cancellation of Marvel Comics' Star Wars series in 1987. Telling the story of Han, Luke, and Leia battling a resurgent Galactic Empire commanded by a resurrected Emperor Palpatine, it also jumped headfirst into exploring the aftermath of the movies, officially taking place one year after the Thrawn Trilogy.

Meanwhile: Bantam Spectra, eager to build on the success of the Thrawn Trilogy, soon contracted a murderer's row of prolific sci-fi novelists to churn out even more novels exploring the aftermath of Return of the Jedi.

And then, well... Then the dam broke.

Between 1991 and 1999, Bantam Spectra published nearly three dozen Star Wars novels. And that's just the novels aimed at adults; if you count the ones aimed at teenagers and young readers (and there were a lot of them), the full tally is closer to five dozen. And if you also count the numerous comic books published by Dark Horse during the same period, it's even more. The sheer number of Star Wars works to come out of that decade is honestly kind of awe-inspiring, and even the most ardent fans often have trouble keeping them all straight.

There was The Courtship of Princess Leia, which told the full story of how Han and Leia got married. There was Crimson Empire, the story of a former Imperial Guardsman on a mission of revenge against his treacherous former comrade. There was the Jedi Academy trilogy, which told the story of Luke training his first Jedi apprentices. There was The Corellian Trilogy, where we finally got properly introduced to Han's home planet. There was the X-Wing series, where we got to follow the continuing adventures of the brave pilots of Rogue Squadron. There was the Black Fleet Crisis trilogy, where we got to meet Chewbacca's family for the first time (since everybody knows that the Star Wars Holiday Special never happened). There was Shadows of the Empire, where we learned the full story of what happened between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. There was the Young Jedi Knights series, where we got to follow the adventures of Han and Leia's children as they studied the ways of the Force under their uncle Luke.

... There were a lot of freakin' books, is what I'm saying.

So were they any good?

Well... That question's a little harder to answer. Most fans agree that the Thrawn Trilogy started the Expanded Universe off with a bang, but the general consensus is that the subsequent novels and comic books varied wildly in quality. Some were good, some were decent, some were tolerable, and some are widely agreed to be just plain God-awful. To reiterate: Bantam Spectra and Dark Horse published nearly five dozen of the damn things in the 1990s alone, and they were written by a rotating stable of more than a dozen different authors. It shouldn't be too surprising that not all of them were equally great.

But regardless of how good they might have been, they succeeded in bringing about a massive resurgence of interest in Star Wars, which paved the way for the saga's return to the big screen 16 years after Return of the Jedi. The original film may have been a product of the late '70s, and "Star Wars mania" arguably reached its peak in the early '80s, but the franchise's renaissance in the '90s was nothing to sneeze at.

Little by little, the novels exploring the aftermath of Return of the Jedi had blossomed into a vast and epic saga in their own right, with their own expansive cast of characters and their own vast array of original concepts. Fans came to call that saga "The Star Wars Expanded Universe"—or "The EU" for short. By the end of the '90s, the EU had gotten so big that its timeline officially covered more than 15 years worth of stories set after the original Star Wars trilogy. To put it in perspective: the original Star Wars trilogy itself (as epic as it might be) only takes place over the course of about four years. So in effect, the Expanded Universe had grown even bigger than the film series that it was based on.

You probably know what happened after that:

The Phantom Menace hit theaters in 1999, officially kicking off the much-anticipated Prequel Trilogy. It was followed by Attack of the Clones in 2002 and Revenge of the Sith in 2005.

And yet, even as the new movies were hogging most of the attention, the novels just kept coming.

In 1999, the same year that The Phantom Menace made its way to the multiplex, famed sci-fi publisher Del Rey Books (who'd published the first Star Wars novels in the '80s) reclaimed the license from Bantam Spectra. With the publishing rights to Star Wars in hand, the company kicked off the biggest and most ambitious project that the Star Wars Expanded Universe had ever seen: a massive 19-book epic called The New Jedi Order, which told the story of a full-on invasion of the Star Wars galaxy by a hostile race of aliens from another galaxy beyond the Outer Rim. It continued the ever-evolving story of the Expanded Universe, steadily moving its timeline further into the future.

The New Jedi Order was a huge story that saw the deaths of numerous longtime characters and the permanent transformations of many more, and it took the Expanded Universe into progressively bolder and stranger territory as it continued to diverge from the movies. But as imaginative and ambitious as it may have been, it was also one of the most divisive series in the history of the Expanded Universe up to that point, with many instalments getting a tepid reception at best. The series reached its conclusion in 2003, just two years before the Prequel Trilogy concluded in 2005 with Revenge of the Sith. And yet, just as the entertainment press was reporting on the "end" of Star Wars, it soon became clear that the continuing story of the Expanded Universe was still far from over.

Yep: the novels just kept coming.

By 2006, when Del Rey unveiled a new nine-book series called Legacy of the Force, the timeframe of the Expanded Universe had reached a point more than three decades after the events of the movies. By this point, the core trio were well into middle age, Han and Leia's children were nearly twice as old as Luke was in the original Star Wars, and the war between the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire was a distant memory. Out in the real world, the Expanded Universe had been running more-or-less continuously for 15 years, but book sales and critical reception were starting to falter noticeably.

And still, the novels kept coming.

Legacy of the Force, which ended in 2008, proved to be (arguably) the single most divisive series in the history of the Expanded Universe, largely because it took one of the main characters in a bold new direction that proved to be highly controversial among long-time fans. Del Rey's follow-up, the nine-book series Fate of the Jedi, was somewhat better received—but it proved to be rather divisive for its own reasons, and many fans didn't like how the writers handled certain aspects of the lore. Fate of the Jedi, which concluded in 2012, proved to be the very last multi-part series in the Expanded Universe.

And... then everything fell apart.

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."

So what happened to the Expanded Universe?

In short: Disney happened.

In 2012, the year that Del Rey's Fate of the Jedi concluded at nine instalments, George Lucas announced his retirement from moviemaking, planning to step down as President of Lucasfilm after more than 40 years. Before stepping down, he reached a deal with Disney CEO Bob Iger and agreed to sell Lucasfilm to Disney, along with the rights to the Star Wars franchise. He agreed to that deal with the full knowledge that Disney would commence development on a 7th, 8th, and 9th episode of Star Wars as soon as they had the rights to the franchise, and he gave his blessing to the new trilogy with the understanding that he wouldn't be a part of making it. Lucas' longtime colleague and confidante Kathleen Kennedy took over as President of Lucasfilm, now a fully owned subsidiary of the Walt Disney Corporation.

It took a couple of years before fans learned anything concrete about the plot details of the hotly anticipated Episode VII (eventually titled The Force Awakens), which would take place roughly 30 years after Return of the Jedi and feature a full reunion of the original cast. But Disney was clear about one thing from the beginning: their new trilogy would tell a wholly original story—and the new films wouldn't be acknowledging any stories from the old Expanded Universe as canon. Instead, the sequels would be presenting a whole new interpretation of what happened after Return of the Jedi, effectively starting with a blank slate.

As far as the new creative team was concerned: Grand Admiral Thrawn and Mara Jade never existed, the Yuuzhan Vong invasion never happened, and Jacen and Jaina Solo and Ben Skywalker were never born. And Kyp Durron, Corran Horn, Kyle Katarn, Prince Xizor, Talon Karrde, Tycho Celchu, Jagged Fel, Tenel Ka Djo, Allana Solo, Mirta Gev, Natasi Daala (and dozens more) were just figments of the fans' imaginations.

After more than two decades, the Star Wars Expanded Universe had officially come to an end. The 2013 novel Star Wars: Crucible—which was announced as something of a "swan song" to the series—proved to be the very last Expanded Universe work, bringing its story to a close. All subsequent Star Wars novels and comic books would take place in a whole new universe with a whole new continuity.

So... what happened to the old ones?

Simple! They didn't vanish from existence—but in all subsequent printings, they would be released under the new imprint Star Wars: Legends, which served as a reminder to fans that they were no longer canon.

As soon as that announcement went out, a certain contingent of the Star Wars fandom went absolutely berserk.

Keep in mind: not only had the old Star Wars Expanded Universe been around for twenty-two years (which was even longer than many fans in 2013 had been alive), it covered four decades worth of stories. Not all of those stories may have been equally great, but some fans had devoted a lot of time and effort to following them through all of their ups and downs. And to some of those fans, being told that many of their favourite stories never happened was a massive slap in the face.

But as Bart Simpson once reminded the Comic Book Guy: "None of these things ever really happened..."

"I've felt a great disturbance in the Force. As if millions of voices cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced..."

Considering the Star Wars Expanded Universe was around for twenty-two years, it's pretty understandable that some fans grew pretty attached to it over time. But if you look at the big picture, it's also pretty easy to understand why Disney retired it.

It's important to remember: part of the reason why the Expanded Universe grew into such a big and ambitious saga was that most people had every reason to believe that there would never be any Star Wars sequels on the big screen. Because of that, the writers at Bantam Spectra, Del Rey, and Dark Horse effectively had a blank check to go nuts (within reason, of course...) telling the story of Han, Luke, and Leia's continuing adventures without ever having to worry about their stories conflicting with the stories of the movies. Since, y'know... everybody was absolutely certain that there wouldn't be any more movies. (Until there were.)

For his part, George Lucas always made it pretty clear that he didn't consider the Expanded Universe part of his artistic vision. As far as he was concerned, Star Wars ended when the final credits of Return of the Jedi rolled, and the numerous questions about what happened afterwards were destined to remain unanswered forever. The novels and comic books of the Expanded Universe effectively just presented fans with one hypothetical answer about what might have happened next.

So when the Sequel Trilogy was greenlit, the creative staff at Disney were left in sort of an odd bind. Sure, some fans were inevitably pissed when they announced that the EU was no longer canon. But if they'd (theoretically) done the opposite and kept it canon, it would have made it incredibly difficult to make a trilogy of sequels for a general audience.

There's really no getting around it: the old Expanded Universe might have had plenty of fans—but compared to the full-blown cultural phenomenon that was the original Star Wars trilogy, its following was... Well, all things considered, it was pretty niche. And the number of people who successfully managed to keep track of all forty years worth of continuity in the EU is pretty paltry compared to the legions of people who know the story of the original Star Wars trilogy by heart. If Disney had somehow tried to make a trilogy of Star Wars sequels that actually fit into the continuity of the Expanded Universe (which was designed for a completely different artistic medium than the movies), it would have been pretty alienating for the vast majority of people who hadn't spent 22 years keeping track of it.

Seriously, though: can you imagine trying to recap 22 years worth of sci-fi novels in an opening crawl? Exactly.

Disney tried to have it both ways by at least keeping the old Expanded Universe novels in circulation and declaring them an alternate continuity, but a particularly vicious sub-set of the Star Wars fandom continued to loudly insist that Disney had "betrayed" the proud legacy of the Expanded Universe by erasing it from canon, and that refusing to acknowledge the Expanded Universe was the ultimate act of disrespect to the fans.

Because if they really respected the fans, then they "obviously" should have just spent millions of dollars on a trilogy of movies based on a loosely connected series of moderately successful sci-fi novels of wildly varying quality that came out during the Clinton administration, right?

... Right?

What's the Big Deal?

By now, hopefully you've gotten a decent idea of why it sent tremors through the Star Wars fandom when the old EU was officially retired in 2013. For the most part, the arguments that resulted from that development have mostly just amounted to fans yelling at each other on message boards and posting the occasional angry YouTube video. But you could also make a pretty good case that those arguments (as petty as they may be) actually open up some intriguing questions about the enduring legacy of Star Wars and its place in American popular culture.

Even if they're not a fan, most people probably know that the release of the original Star Wars in 1977 was a defining moment in the development of the "geek" subculture. And everybody knows that geeks and nerds love Star Wars. As many disagreements as people might have about Star Wars, everybody knows that it's a "geek classic".

But here's a surprisingly difficult question to answer:

What is a geek? And what is a nerd? And what actually makes a piece of media "geeky" or "nerdy"?

In theory, everybody knows the answers to those questions. But in practice, most of us just sort of know geeky and/or nerdy stuff when we see it. And like with most modern neologisms, the definitions of the terms "geek" and "nerd" have been in flux ever since they were first coined.

Case in point: a "geek" was originally a type of carnival performer, and a "nerd" was originally a fictional creature from a Dr. Seuss book.

(Yes, really. Look it up if you don't believe me.)

Probably the most consistently agreed-upon definition of "geek" is "A person with esoteric interests" ("esoteric" meaning "Not enjoyed or appreciated by the general public"). And one of the most consistently agreed-upon definitions of "nerd" is "A person with an obsessive devotion to their personal interests". So in theory, geeks and nerds are people who like stuff that most people don't appreciate, and get really obsessive about that stuff.

When people talk about "geeky" or "nerdy" hobbies, they're likely to mention stories about Star Trek fans devoting hours of effort to learning the Klingon language, or fans of The Lord of the Rings spending hours learning the Elvish dialects of Quenya and Sindarin. Part of the reason Dune and The Lord of the Rings are considered "geek classics" is that they include 100+ pages of appendices fleshing out the workings of the worlds where they take place, which is perfect for fans who don't mind spending hours diving into the nuances of the lore.

So that settles it! Star Wars is a geek classic because it's esoteric, and most people just don't appreciate it.

... Is it, though?

Lest you forget: adjusted for inflation, the original Star Wars was the second-highest-grossing American film in history at the time of its release, second only to Gone with the Wind. All three movies in the original trilogy were extraordinarily successful, and a lot of people really loved them. So from a certain perspective, they weren't that geeky.

You could also make a case that they're not really that nerdy. After all: at this point, it's pretty well-documented that even George Lucas barely knew anything about the finer points of the Star Wars universe when he first started making the movies in 1977, and he mostly made that stuff up as he went along. In the early years of Star Wars, even the most ardent fans couldn't claim to be "experts" on the lore, because, well... For the most part, there wasn't any. There were just... three very popular movies, which practically everyone in 1980s America had seen.

For better or for worse, the Expanded Universe changed that forever. Thanks to the EU, there was suddenly a hard and fast dividing line between "casual" fans and "serious" fans, and "serious" fans could justifiably claim that they knew more about Star Wars than everybody else. And even at the EU's lowest points, many of those fans took comfort in that—and some of them let it go to their heads.

The unfortunate prevalence of "gatekeeping" in geek culture has been a pretty hot topic for the better part of the last decade, and the evolution of the Star Wars fandom between 1991 and 2012 is often cited as a classic example for good reason. For a while, a vocal minority of Star Wars fans earnestly and unironically believed that the movies were just the tip of the iceberg, and you weren't a real fan unless you had the patience and devotion to keep up with the Expanded Universe too. The movies might have been universally beloved cultural touchstones, but the hardest of hardcore fans had the Expanded Universe all to themselves.

When the Expanded Universe ended in 2012, there were many reasons why some fans weren't happy about it. Some of them were just nostalgic for the Star Wars novels that they'd loved growing up, and were sad to see their favorite original characters go. Some of them truly believed that the sequels would have been better if they'd been based on the Expanded Universe novels from the '90s and the 2000s. And, well... Some of them were angry that their license to gatekeep had been revoked—and for the first time since 1991, they knew just as much about Star Wars as the "casual" fans that they loved to look down upon. Unfortunately, smug superiority is a hell of a drug.

So if you've ever wondered why it's so hard to talk about Star Wars these days without getting into an argument, hopefully that gives you a good idea.

Ghosts of Paperbacks Past

Bottom line: the Star Wars Expanded Universe was a massive undertaking that meant a lot to a lot of people. Love it or hate it, a lot of people put a lot of work into it for a very long time. It's pretty hard to believe that a series could run that long without leaving a legacy behind.

Which is probably why it did leave a legacy behind.

See: when Disney announced in 2012 that the Expanded Universe would be ending, they announced that the animated series Star Wars: The Clone Wars would still be acknowledged as canon alongside the movies. And in an interesting little footnote: a few storylines in The Clone Wars prominently feature a planet called Dathomir, which is home to a group of Force-sensitive "witches" known as the "Nightsisters".

As any EU fan will happily tell you: Dathomir and the Nightsisters were first introduced in the 1994 novel The Courtship of Princess Leia, which was one of the first Expanded Universe novels ever published. So even though that novel wasn't considered canon anymore, some of its more iconic and fondly remembered concepts were saved from the dustbin of continuity, just because they were included in The Clone Wars.

Similarly: the interstellar crime syndicate "Black Sun" (first introduced in the 1996 EU novel Shadows of the Empire) also showed up in a few episodes of The Clone Wars, meaning that Black Sun still existed too.

Thanks to those little details, some fans were able to cling to the faint hope that their favorite EU characters were still out there somewhere in the newly reshaped Star Wars universe, even if they hadn't been properly introduced yet. And sure enough, their prayers were soon answered.

In 2016, Disney released a promotional video for the then-upcoming third season of the animated series Star Wars: Rebels, unveiling the character who would serve as one of the main antagonists of the upcoming season. He was a Grand Admiral in the Imperial Fleet, and he dressed in a crisp white naval uniform. And as soon as they saw his striking bright blue skin and glowing red eyes, fans instantly recognized him.

It was Thrawn! Exactly 25 years after his introduction in 1991, it was confirmed that Thrawn had survived the demise of the Expanded Universe, and he was still hanging around in the new continuity after all. Even better: Disney soon announced that they had contracted Thrawn's creator Timothy Zahn—the man who effectively birthed the EU—to write a whole new trilogy of novels about the character, which would introduce him to a whole new generation of fans.

He's not the only character who's made a comeback since 2012: just two months ago (as of this writing) the comic book series Crimson Reign name-dropped the fan-favourite character Prince Xizor (the leader of Black Sun), confirming that he also still exists in the new continuity.

For various reasons, the end of the EU remains a touchy subject among Star Wars fans—but now that it's been confirmed that some of their favourite characters from the EU could (and might) still return, many disenchanted fans are crossing their fingers and hoping for the best. I don't know if that'll be enough to stop the online screaming matches, but it's something.

And if it ever turns out that Mara Jade is still around too, it'll probably break the internet.

(Personally, I'm still holding out hope for the one-armed space princess. But that's another story...)

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A selection of enriching comments from the original post:

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"TheMightyHeptagon" (the original poster) said:

Hey guys. Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read this post! As you can probably tell: this is a big subject to cover, and it took me a while to write. Due to space limitations, I had to cut a lot of stuff out.

For the benefit of anyone who's curious about what actually happened in the 40 years' worth of stories that I discuss here: I also wrote a short(ish) condensed summary of the story of the Expanded Universe.

Please note: this is by no means an exhaustive account of everything that happened in the Expanded Universe between 1991 and 2013 (that would take hours...), but it should at least give you an idea of the highlights.

Beware spoilers ahead.

So... Beginning shortly after the end of Return of the Jedi, the story goes a little something like this:

The war between the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire drags on for another 15 years, but the Rebels rebrand themselves as "The New Republic" shortly after wresting the Galactic Capital of Coruscant from Imperial control. A full-blown power struggle for control of the galaxy swiftly ensues, and the Empire falls into chaos as various ambitious power brokers vie for the vacant Imperial throne in the wake of Palpatine's death. Numerous would-be Emperors come and go, some more memorable than others. In no particular order, the big ones are:

Carnor Jax, leader of the Imperial Guard.

Ysanne Isard, director of Imperial Intelligence.

Grand Admiral Thrawn, commander of the Imperial Fleet. Notable for being of the few non-humans to rise to a position of power in the Empire, he's a member of a reclusive and xenophobic race of aliens known as the Chiss, who dwell in the Unknown Regions beyond the Outer Rim (like I said: for various reasons, he's a huge fan-favourite).

Natasi Daala, an ambitious admiral in the Imperial Fleet.

Warlord Zsinj. He's, um... a warlord named "Zsinj".

Little by little, the New Republic retakes the galaxy from the Empire. Rogue Squadron becomes a top-notch X-Wing squadron under the leadership of Luke Skywalker's old friend Wedge Antilles, and numerous brave space pilots become widely renowned heroes, with Corran Horn (who turns out to be Force-sensitive, and eventually becomes a Jedi) and Tycho Celchu (a former Imperial pilot who defects to the New Republic, becoming Wedge's wingman and best friend) being among the most notable. Things get a little complicated when Wedge's sister Syal Antilles falls in love with his greatest rival—ace Imperial TIE pilot Baron Soontir Fel—but Fel eventually joins Rogue Squadron after having a crisis of conscience and defecting to the New Republic.

The Empire briefly bounces back after Palpatine rises from the dead with the help of cloning technology and dark Force magic, and even manages to turn Luke to the Dark Side—but Leia manages to save his soul and redeem him.

On a more personal front: Leia and Han finally get married after resolving a brief love triangle involving a filthy rich space prince from a kinky matriarchal planet ruled by women (long story...), but things end happily after Prince Isolder falls in love with a sexy space witch from a different kinky matriarchal planet ruled by women (again: long story). The pair celebrate the births of their twin son and daughter Jacen and Jaina, eventually followed by their second son Anakin.

Also: Luke meets Palptatine's sexy Force-sensitive apprentice and secret personal assassin Mara Jade, who was previously assigned to kill him. Naturally, the two of them fall in love and eventually get married.

Also: Han's asshole cousin Thrackan Sal-Solo starts a rebellion on his home planet, and we learn that Corellia is technically a system of five planets artificially kept in close proximity by a mysterious long-abandoned space station built thousands of years ago by an unknown alien race. Since Centerpoint Station is capable of controlling the orbits of entire planets, it has the potential to become the galaxy's deadliest weapon if it falls into the wrong hands—but it's so old that only a handful of people know how to control it (one of whom is Anakin Solo).

Also: it turns out that Boba Fett survived falling into the Sarlacc's pit, since the fans wouldn't tolerate him staying dead.

Luke also starts his own Jedi Academy and devotes his life to training a new generation of Jedi, including the three Solo kids. There are a few bumps along the way—most notably when a troubled Jedi apprentice named Kyp Durron briefly turns to the Dark Side and uses a lost Imperial superweapon called the "Sun Crusher" to murder millions of people before coming to his senses. Kyp returns to the Light Side, but remains the New Jedi Order's resident brooding bad boy, advocating a more violent approach to protecting the galaxy from evil.

Also: Leia's would-be suitor Prince Isolder and his sexy space witch wife (remember them?) have a daughter named Tenel Ka, who turns out to be Force-sensitive and joins Luke's Jedi Academy, where she eventually falls in love with Han and Leia's son Jacen. Jacen also accidentally cuts off her arm in a tragic accident during lightsaber training, but she gets over it.

After a long string of losses, the former Empire is whittled down to a tiny fraction of its former self, and the Imperial Remnant (now led by Thrawn's old right-hand man Gilad Pellaeon) is forced to give up the ghost and sign a peace treaty with the New Republic, finally bringing the war to an end.

Naturally, the peace proves to be short-lived, and the galaxy is soon invaded by a race of horribly nightmarish alien religious extremists from beyond the galaxy called the Yuuzhan Vong, who practice ritualistic body mutilation and treat torture as a religious sacrament. They also believe that technology is an abomination (all of their spaceships and weapons are organic), and exist entirely outside the influence of the Force. The war against the Yuuzhan Vong kicks off with the death of Chewbacca (yes, really) after they use gravity manipulation to crush him to death with a moon (yes, really). Despite the best efforts of the Jedi and the New Republic, the Yuzzhan Vong unleash untold death and destruction across the galaxy, and countless people are killed—including Anakin Solo.

Finally, the New Republic collapses after Coruscant falls to the Yuuzhan Vong, forcing the fugitive leaders of the New Republic to join forces with the Imperial Remnant to drive them off and retake Coruscant. Thus, a new government called the "Galactic Alliance" rises from the ashes of the New Republic, and eventually manages to defeat the Yuuzhan Vong after the Skywalker-Solo clan finds the Yuuzhan Vong's missing home planet—which is sentient, and can travel through hyperspace (don't ask...).

Amid the doom and gloom of the Yuuzhan Vong war, Luke and Mara have a son named Ben, and we learn that Syal Antilles and her husband Soontir Fel (remember them?) have a son named Jagged (yes, that's really his name...), who's grown into a world-class starfighter pilot after years of training among the Chiss (remember them?). With a name like "Jagged Fel", it probably goes without saying that he's a sexy and mysterious bad boy. So, naturally, he and Jaina Solo eventually fall madly in love.

Things briefly quiet down after the war with the Yuuzhan Vong, with the exception of a brief war with a race of insectoid aliens called the Killiks, who turn out to be the creators of Centerpoint Station (remember Centerpoint Station?). In the intervening years, Ben Skywalker becomes a Jedi, and Jacen has a secret love affair with his childhood girlfriend Tenel Ka (remember her?), the one-armed space princess who's also a space witch. One thing leads to another, and the one-armed space princess gets pregnant with Jacen's daughter.

Years down the line, the galaxy is plunged into civil war yet again when Han's asshole cousin (remember him?) leads the five planets of the Corellian system (remember them?) in a bid to secede from the Galactic Alliance, causing a rift between the Skywalker and Solo families when Han temporarily sides with his home planet, and the Galactic Alliance government takes some rather draconian measures to quash the Corellian independence movement. Amid the chaos, Jacen—who was never really the same after the Yuuzhan Vong war—does some pretty morally questionable things in the name of ending the war and preserving peace, eventually going whole-hog and turning to the Dark Side. Along the way, he forms his own special squad of secret police to root out Corellian terrorists, he kills Mara, he unsuccessfully tries to corrupt Ben Skywalker after taking him under his wing as an apprentice, and his relationship with Tenel Ka permanently breaks down. He also accidentally kills Boba Fett's long-lost daughter Ailyn Vel during an "enhanced interrogation" session gone wrong, giving Fett ample reason to want him dead (which generally isn't great for a person's life expectancy).

In the end, Jaina is forced to save the galaxy by facing her brother (now known as "Darth Caedus") in a duel to the death with a little help from an aging Boba Fett, who has a little experience at the whole Jedi-killing thing. We also learn that Boba Fett has a wife named Sintas Vel and a granddaughter named Mirta Gev who are poised to carry on his legacy.

Things mostly go back to normal after Jacen's death, and Jacen and Tenel Ka's daughter Allana thankfully escapes unscathed. Years after that, the Jedi find themselves plunged into a war with a Lost Tribe of the Sith led by an evil entity called "Abeloth", but the good guys win once again, and Jaina and her sexy ace pilot boyfriend Jagged (remember him?) get married.

In the end, Jagged apparently starts a new Galactic Empire with Jaina by his side and declares himself Emperor, it's implied that Allana may or may not be the real Chosen One destined to bring balance to the Force, and Ben Skywalker carries on the Skywalker name as he continues to train as a Jedi. And 100-odd years after that, Luke's descendant Cade Skywalker (a disillusioned former Jedi turned bad boy smuggler) helps save the galaxy from a reborn Sith Empire led by the evil Darth Krayt, a fallen Jedi raised by Tuskens on Tatooine (don't ask...). The details about what happened in between those events are pretty vague—but the important thing is that the good guys win, and the galaxy is safe and at peace. And the Force will be with us, always.

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"ToaArcan" said:

A lot of the most bitter online fighting centred around the missteps the EU had made, with regard to the post-movie timeline. Look into any pre-2014 article about the weirdness of the Star Wars novels and comics, and you'll see a pretty interesting list of things that fans and casuals alike took issue with.

Han and Leia's son turning evil. A million superweapons that make the Death Star not remotely special. The deaths of iconic movie characters. Cloning the Emperor. Luke turning to the Dark Side.

When the EU was jumped, there were people who were looking at the silver lining. Sure, we'd lost Thrawn and Mara Jade and all that good stuff. But we'd also dumped all the really stupid shit like BDSM 40K rejects that whip people with eels, or that time Darth Vader totally had a Buzzcut McWhiteboy apprentice who could kick every other Jedi and Sith's arse one-handed, you guys. Karen Traviss would never again touch Star Wars!

Of course, the dismissal of the EU as a load of trash with one or two bright spots only made the diehards angrier, and that, at least, seemed to be justifiable. It also got pretty awkward when the dust settled on the Sequel Trilogy and we had an evil Solo spawn, an even bigger Death Star and a whole fleet of planet-killing Star Destroyers, all of the original trio dead, an Emperor clone, and a Luke who, while he didn't turn evil, definitely ended up going in a much darker direction than most fans liked.

On the whole, post-Disney buy-out Star Wars has been slow to reintroduce the elements of the EU that fans actually liked, like Thrawn and Boba Fett's survival, but sure as f*** did rehash a lot of the things people used to mock the EU for in the first place. Fortunately no eel-whips yet, but we're never truly safe. And of course, the Disney canon is rapidly becoming another self-referential bloated beast of a franchise, just like its father before it.

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"TastyBrainMeats" replied to "ToaArcan":

[Mention of Karen Traviss]

Beware, lest you summon her weird fanboys.

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"ChristmasColor" replied to "TastyBrainMeats":

I was a fan of her books. I enjoyed her pointing out the Jedi were weird for using slaves.

What makes her so controversial?

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An unknown Reddit user replied to "ChristmasColor":

I think her stuff for the Clone Wars era is mostly liked. She tends to go a little overboard with her "the Jedi were the real villains" shtick, but Lucas is the one who made them weird dogmatic virgins with no compunction whatsoever with using child slave soldiers that some mysterious benefactor just sort of left on their doorstep with no explanation, so it's hard to blame her. She tends to take more of a gritty military fiction approach to Star Wars, which can be somewhat divisive, but I really like that aspect of her work, and I think the EU could have benefitted from a little more diversity of style honestly.

The main reason she's hated is her contributions to the Legacy of the Force series, where her "Mando" fetish really got out of hand. The Mandos got thrown into the centre of the story, despite playing almost no role in the EU after Return of the Jedi up to that point, and Traviss spends half of her books talking about how awesome and better than everyone else the Mandalorians are: they can beat up Jedi without breaking a sweat, their ships are indestructible and specifically described as faster and having more firepower than X-Wings, their culture is loving and inclusive and family oriented but also everyone is trained to be a super-awesome warrior from birth, and so on. It comes across as forced, unmotivated, and disrespectful to the existing lore.

And to cap it all off, it often seems like the only way she knows how to build one of her self-insert characters up is to tear some other character down. The way she shows that Mandos are awesome at hand-to-hand combat is by having them repeatedly beat the s*** out of Jaina Solo when she's training with them, and having Jaina's inner monologue read like "Man, I wish I was a Mando. These guys are so cool and I'm just this pampered Jedi princess who's never had to work for anything in my life" (despite fighting on the front lines of a brutal war since she was like 15 years old and by this point being a 30-year-old decorated fighter pilot, fully trained Jedi, and galaxy-wide famous war hero).

I've never read her Republic Commando books (I've never been all that interested in the Prequel era), but her Legacy of the Force books are full of obnoxious Mary-Sue author inserts, mean-spirited characterizations of beloved characters, and a petty refusal to make her stories flow together with the ones written by Allston and Denning (though she's far from alone in that last sin, as the authors of Legacy of the Force did not play well together for some reason). Apparently, Traviss also had a habit for a while of getting in online flame wars with fans and calling the Jedi "nazis" and shit like that, which rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, but I never heard of any of that until years later.

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"ZeitgeistGlee" replied to "ChristmasColor":

"I enjoyed her pointing out the Jedi were weird for using slaves."

The issue is that Traviss was hilariously one-sided in her criticism, she mischaracterised, picked at or overplayed minor faults or outright wrote new ones in the Jedi Order and their characterisation to justify her (character's) positions, and then handwaved or whitewashed or lionised the toxic behaviour and culture of her Mandalorians and their history.

The "Jedi use slaves" is a good example of that: they didn't "use slaves", they were ordered to take command of the Republic's Clone Army and fight the Separatists, and better authors than Traviss specifically paralleled the experience of the Clones with Jedi (both groups being made up of children raised into service culture segregated from the rest of society).

If I remember correctly, the Revenge of the Sith novelisation specifically has Palpatine monologue that the entire Clone Wars conflict was constructed to destroy the Jedi whether they participated or not. If they fought, then the horrors of a galactic-scale war would break them down psychologically, spiritually and literally, as well as spread them out so the remainder could be killed all in one swoop by Order 66 once Palpatine had seized power; if they'd refused to fight and withdrawn to the Jedi Temple or one of their alternate academy worlds, then they'd have been painted as cowards/traitors who could be executed all in one spot at the end of the war without complaint.

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"ZeitgeistGlee" replied to the unknown Reddit user:

"I've never read her Republic Commando books (I've never been all that interested in the Prequel era), but her Legacy of the Force books are full of obnoxious Mary-Sue author inserts, mean-spirited characterizations of beloved characters [...]."

Her Clone Wars novels after the first one or two are exactly the same as her Legacy of the Force stuff. Kal Skirata was a particularly obnoxious version of her Mary-Sue Mando culture, and then there's Etain, her pet Jedi who dies defending one of the clones assaulting the Jedi Temple from Padawan trying to escape.

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"mxzf" replied to "ToaArcan":

"On the whole, post-Disney buy-out Star Wars has been slow to reintroduce the elements of the EU that fans actually liked, like Thrawn and Boba Fett's survival, but sure as f*** did rehash a lot of the things people used to mock the EU for in the first place."

This is really the crux of it. Disney got rid of all of the EU material and then pretty much only brought back the worst parts of it.

In theory, they were house-cleaning and were able to bring the better parts of the EU back into the fold. But instead, they took the worst parts of the EU and chose to bring them back while leaving the best material abandoned.

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"ToaArcan" replied to "mxzf":

There's been good stuff too. The aforementioned return of Boba, and him being re-canonised as a Mandalorian. Thrawn's still kicking, and while the Old Republic continues to limp on in Legends, they've at least started referencing Revan in canon again. Delta Squad are a thing again, Filoni got them into The Clone Wars and Scorch showed up properly in Bad Batch.

But it's taken a lot longer for those pieces to come back into play, while the movies were quick to jump on some of the worst ideas. Not all of the things they did opt to bring back were bad, but a lot of them were, and the execution leaves a lot to be desired. The Force Awakens played everything extremely safe, too safe. The Last Jedi was bold and challenging, and I enjoyed it very much, but bringing Abrams back for The Rise of Skywalker and having its script mostly written by the comments section of a MauLer video retroactively made it a whole lot worse. And then The Rise of Skywalker itself is just a trainwreck of epic proportions. I still had fun seeing it in the cinema, but I'm in no rush to watch it again.

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"UnsealedMTG" said:

This is a fun memory lane journey as a 1980s-born Star Wars fan. For that generation, Star Wars really did feel like a more niche, albeit common, interest. For our formative years, no movies had been released in theatres since either before we were, like, 3 years old or (for me) before we were born. So Star Wars was just a finished "thing" in a way that it wouldn't have been to people who were born earlier—or to people who were born a little later and had the Prequels and The Clone Wars and everything else come out while they were in the real target age bracket.

Sure, "everyone" had seen Star Wars but being into it was more akin to being really into comic books or fantasy novels than, like, the MCU or Game of Thrones when it was on (to name cultural phenomena that would have seemed practically unthinkable in the 1990s).

And of course as one of those people I have to push my glasses up and make one comment—not a correction, but just another reframing to put you back in the early 1990s:

"(specifically: a member of a newly introduced species known as the 'Chiss')"

It was actually much more mysterious than this! Thrawn's species was pointedly not named in the original. He's just blue and has glowy eyes and is an alien. What species he comes from and how he come to be highly ranked in the human supremacist Empire is left as part of his mystique at that point.

It wasn't until Zahn's much later Visions of the Future—released in 1998, towards the end of that core EU era in the 90s before The Phantom Menace in 1999—that Thrawn's species got a name.

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"TheMightyHeptagon" (the original poster) replied to "UnsealedMTG":

Ah, thank you for the correction! I must confess: it's been a while since I've actually read the Thrawn Trilogy.

I can relate! As a Star Wars fan born in the early 1990s, I was sort of tangentially aware of the EU just as it was taking off, but it was all pretty mysterious to me since I was way too young to read most of it at the time. I have distinct memories of seeing all the Star Wars novels on the shelves of my local library and bookstore whenever I went there with my parents when I was about 4 or 5 years old and wondering why I didn't recognize half the characters on the dust jackets. That sense of befuddlement eventually inspired me to take a deep dive into the EU when I was a teenager.

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"UnsealedMTG" replied to "TheMightyHeptagon":

I think that also speaks a little bit to the "geek culture" thing about Star Wars in the 1990s, too. I mean... Now there's Wookiepedia. Anyone with any amount of interest, a smartphone, a few minutes, and the ability to get through Fandom's intrusive ads can know anything about those mysterious characters in the books. There's no barrier of effort.

In the 1990s, if you wanted to gather that knowledge about the Star Wars galaxy, you had to go out of your way and either read the books themselves or go get one of the dictionaries or encyclopedias that they published to dig out that information.

I think that makes it more understandable how people reacted to the transition, even if the transition was clearly inevitable and a lot of people on the "Pro-EU" faction were kind of toxic gatekeep-y dicks. This old EU information was something people had gathered through effort that creates a feeling of meaning. To them, saying it "doesn't count now" isn't just saying that some things that didn't happen... extra didn't happen. It's taking something that they worked to collect and invalidating it.

Now, I'm personally a person who is much more interested in the history of how the stories were told in our chronology than in the details of the actual in-universe world so the canon status/non-status is not a big deal emotionally to me.* But it's at least something that follows logically from the sort of information collector mentality that the Star Wars EU and properties like it really encouraged.

(*Which is why I'm interested in stuff like how Thrawn was originally a "unique blue alien guy" and only later did they introduce a "whole species of Thrawns", and why I get annoyed when finding the history of how the words "Sith" and "Mandalorian" got used in Star Wars is so much harder than it is to find the cobbled-together and retconned in-universe histories of the Sith and Mandalorians)

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"DocWhoFan16" said:

The Courtship of Princess Leia is absolutely ludicrous, honestly a very stupid book, and it is also genuinely one of my favourite Star Wars stories in any medium ever.

In this book, Space Fabio shows up to try and woo Princess Leia. Han gets jealous and tries to win her over by... winning a planet in a card game where she can re-house the refugees from Alderaan. Leia isn't too impressed, so Han's response is... to use the "gun of command", a blaster which essentially shoots mind control, to kidnap her and fly her off to this planet he's won: Dathomir.

Dathomir, as it happens, is deep in the territory of the Imperial warlord Zsinj, but Han doesn't let that perturb him. Then they get to Dathomir and learn that it's this matriarchal society of Force witches. Also, Zsinj has an orbiting network of satellites which, for all intents and purposes, allow him to turn off the sun. Space Fabio and Luke follow them, crash-land on Dathomir and get picked up by one of the Force witches, who has this weird Mills & Boon romance storyline. I'm pretty sure it's implied that Yoda might have shagged a witch when he visited years ago.

All the while, C-3PO becomes this weird matchmaker trying to set Han and Leia up. He tries to prove that Han has royal blood so he can marry a princess, only to discover that Han's supposed royal ancestor is a notorious pirate who was actually a pretender to the throne.

(The most frustrating thing about that last point is that one of the tie-in reference books from years later actually went ahead and revealed that, yes, the ancient prince of Corellia who once dominated the ancient Republic was called... Solo. To me, that sort of missed the point, but I admit I had long since grown out of Star Wars novels by then!)

Is it especially well-written? Not really. But it's creative. It's interested in what Star Wars can be, far more than what it should be (and if I have one criticism of Tim Zahn, it's that he often seemed to lean a bit more in the latter direction). See also: The Crystal Star, in which Space Hitler kidnaps Han's and Leia's children so he can feed them to a gold-plated meat monster from another dimension who has promised to increase his Force powers, and the galaxy is full of centaurs and werewolves and stuff like that.

I think after 1999, when the licence leaves Bantam Spectra and goes to Del Rey and Lucasfilm starts exerting a lot more top-down control (and this is across the board in all media, not just with novels), the Expanded Universe lost a lot of that. I think it became a lot more homogenous, at least aesthetically.

Consider something like the Knights of the Old Republic video games. Those are fairly good games. But they look like the Prequel movies! They're set four thousand years ago, but they look like the Prequels. Compare that with comics like Tales of the Jedi or (my personal favourite) Jedi vs Sith, which look properly ancient while still looking like Star Wars.

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"Lastjedibestjedi" replied to "DocWhoFan16":

You leaving out the Rancor riding in the middle of all this other madness is a war crime.

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"DocWhoFan16" replied to "Lastjedibestjedi":

Yes, and I also forgot that the creatures in The Crystal Star are actually called "wyrwulfs" rather than "werewolves", sorry.

How about the half of Children of the Jedi where Luke falls in love with the computer on a lost Imperial super-weapon which was designed to kidnap Jedi children, except it's not really a computer, it's really the disembodied spirit of an Old Republic Jedi which is trapped in the computer, and at the end of the book, she sort of reincarnates in the body of one of Luke's hot young Jedi students.

Barbara Hambly was specifically instructed that, in that novel, she had to introduce the perfect love interest for Luke Skywalker. Then a couple of books later, nobody likes Callista, and Hambly is back to write Planet of Twilight (the one where Leia has a lightsabre fight with a Hutt) and she's told that this time her job is to get rid of the perfect love interest for Luke Skywalker, which she does in a couple of pages right at the end of the book.

How about the time the Young Jedi Knights met a group called "the Diversity Alliance" whose ostensible ideology was anti-racism and opposition to human supremacism in the New Republic and who are led by a former Twi'lek slave (and because this is the Star Wars EU, this Twi'lek was the sister of Oola from Return of the Jedi BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WAS), but their real plan is to commit genocide against humans using stolen Imperial bio-weapons. Because the anti-racists are the real racists (IT MAKES U THINK).

Seriously, I appreciate that Kevin J. Anderson in 1998 or whenever it was had benign intentions to do "racism is bad" stories in the YA series, but... Look, it's a faction of villains called "the Diversity Alliance" whose opposition to racism is actually a cover to kill all white people humans, and it's up to Han and Leia's kids to stop them. That sounds like some kind of parody of nerds on the Internet in 2022, doesn't it?

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the pre-1999 novels a lot (don't really like the ones on the Del Rey era, but that's neither here nor there; the comics are still good after that point, though), but it's very much a "warts and all" thing.

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"bhamv" said:

"(Personally, I'm still holding out hope for the one-armed space princess. But that's another story...)"

Ah. Ah ha. I am glad that someone else shares my fondness for Tenel Ka.

I was a huge fan of the EU. I didn't read every book, but I read a lot of them, and the sheer depth of the lore was amazing. It was like swimming in a vast ocean that always threw up something new and fascinating for you to see.

In particular, I thought Xizor was a great antagonist, and I'm glad to see that he might reappear in the new canon some day.

EDIT: Also, one of the plot threads suggested in Legends that has unfortunately been abandoned is that the Emperor foresaw the invasion of the Yuuzhan Vong, which is why he took over the galaxy and had the Death Star built. The galaxy had to be united to fight such a foe, so it needed a weapon capable of taking out the Vong's moon-sized world-ships. Stuff like this adds so much depth to the motivations of existing characters, and I much prefer it to the simple "this space station will help us rule by fear" motivation in the movies.

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"Coronarchivista" replied to "bhamv":

Or in Heir to the Empire, where Thrawn speculates that the reason the Imperials lost the Battle of Endor despite far outnumbering the Rebels is that Palpatine was using "battle meditation" to coordinate the Imperial fleet, and when Vader threw him down the shaft, the Imperial fleet was thrown into chaos and routed.

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"FuttleScich" replied to "bhamv":

I always thought the "Palpatine just wanted to help" thing was the worst part of the old EU, and I’m glad it’s dead.

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"DocWhoFan16" replied to "FuttleScich":

It did get a bit of "Hitler just wanted to make Europe strong enough to fight the Soviet Union" some of the time.

[howtofightwrite]

Q&A: Murder in Bulk

I’ve been reading through your assassin tag and I’m sure it’s circumstantial but what would be the time range for collecting the information they need to murder their target? Is it realistic for someone who’s been working 4-6 years to have accumulated a few hundred kills?

This is more of a world building question, because it hinges heavily on the organization your assassin is working for and the world they operate in.

In anything approaching the real world, probably not.

Okay, let’s run the math for a second. If you’ve killed three hundred people over four years, that’s going to roughly work out to a murder every four to five days. (If that’s spread over six years, it’s going to work out to be a murder every week.)

It’s probably feasible to have that volume of work, especially with contracts taking variable amounts of time to complete. However, that’s not the problem.

To put it mildly, murder is treated rather harshly by modern laws, meaning killing for hire is a fairly risky proposition. If you’re not being paid enough to take a vacation, you’re not being paid enough to kill people for a living.

Organized crime is a little different, and the overall volume can get that high. During the 1930s, it’s estimated that the New York Mafia carried out over a thousand assassinations. However, that wasn’t the work of a single individual. Which does raise a distinct possibility, an agency of assassins could potentially get into the range of a hundred hits a year, but it probably wouldn’t be an individual assassin.

Then there is Julio Santana, who has claimed to be the worlds most prolific hitman. He claims that he killed over five hundred people during his career, which spanned thirty-five years. (This works out to slightly over fourteen hits a year, which is extraordinarily high compared to other documented assassins.)

For a, “normal,” hitman, a kill per month is probably pushing it. The last thing an assassin needs is law enforcement realizing they’re active simply because the sheer volume got out of hand. More murders mean more evidence, and more risk of the police identifying a common pattern. On a long enough timescale, the probability of law enforcement putting everything together approaches 1.

I suspect there’s also a limiting factor with contract availability. Killing people is one of those professions where you really do need the customer to come to you. Just because your assassin could kill someone every week, that doesn’t mean they will have a contract every week. This brings their kills into further question when you consider that contracts wouldn’t be evenly distributed. I suppose it’s possible that a sufficiently infamous assassin could have a wait list, but fame is a very bad thing for an assassin. “Who killed this man?” “Maybe it was the world famous assassin sitting over there.”

(Actually, as a quick aside, fame is toxic for basically any profession that relies on being able to operate covertly. It doesn’t matter if you’re an assassin, a thief, a con artist, a spy, or even just an undercover cop, if you’re famous, that makes it effectively impossible to do your job.)

In fictional worlds, it is quite plausible, if the setting supports it. In some kind of fantasy or sci-fi dystopia, where an authoritarian state has sanctioned assassins, you could easily see a situation where an assassin has racked up a triple digit body count after a few years on the job. In that case they probably wouldn’t be doing their own research, instead taking what their organization handed them, and running with it. The staggering pace of kills would also be consistent with someone who’s simply taking assignments, and (relatively) poorly paid, because the work is legal and the risks are minimal.

A possibility that hews a little closer to reality would be a military sniper. Again, the body count is excessive, though there is historical precedence. Simo Häyhä was a Finnish sniper. During the Winter War (1939-40), he killed over 500 Soviet troops. This is even more impressive when you realize that the war only lasted 104 days. Häyhä is the record holder here, and racking up hundreds of kills in just a few years would still be fairly noteworthy. Very few snipers kill that many people, but it is possible.

One messier possibility would be an assassin who’s not particularly concerned with collateral damage, and uses explosives. A few well placed fertilizer bombs could easily get them into triple digits. Granted, this is more in line with a terrorist assassination, and not what you were thinking of, but it is one way you could see that many victims.

So, is it plausible for an assassin to be killing that frequently? Probably not, unless there are specific justifications. This doesn’t mean that it’s impossible, just extremely unlikely. Judging by what I’ve seen with ex-Mafia hitmen, forty to fifty is probably more in line a very busy assassin who’s been in the business for half a decade.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. If you enjoy our content, please consider becoming a Patron. Every contribution helps keep us online, and writing. If you already are a Patron, thank you.

Q&A: Murder in Bulk was originally published on How to Fight Write.

[logan-k-strong]

Heavy Is The Head, pt. 1

He generally preferred a medium-dark roast blend, but this particular blonde surprised him. The citrus notes were remarkably subtle, and balanced. Certainly less offensive than the last time he tried to broaden his horizons. On the other hand, he knew with absolute certainty that the acidity would catch up to him around noon. He double-checked the shelves behind his bathroom mirror to ensure antacids were in stock, very few sensations being more disagreeable than a subtle, though constant burn. 

He was lucky, all considered. At least, that’s what he was told. 

Just before the Dreaming, the world finally caught on fire. For decades, most expected the end of civilized Earth to arise from warfare. Nuclear missiles leveling entire cities, civil wars crippling countries, etc. The truth was that it simply got too hot. Of course, anyone who was actually paying attention knew that it would, but that had long since become a point well past arguing. It was just a matter of getting on with life in the new world. So, he did.

For the most part. Charlotte still crept into his waking thoughts from time to time; most often the wrong time, as if some vengeful spectre, or a debt collector. For the most part, his resolve was sound. He could steel himself against the memory, swallow the burn. But she could find and exploit even the slightest gap of doubt in his armor with those stilettos, and she had proven that fact time and time again.

He cursed as his bleary eyes wandered to the clock above the stove; he realized he would be late. He shoved two antacids down his throat, drained the rest of his now cold coffee, and hit the door.

The Guardians arrived three days after the wildfires began. Earth had myriad spectators, but most were just that. The vast majority of the audience casually looked on with the same aloof schadenfreude with which the human populace once mainlined reality television. The problems were just too plentiful, and human-kind too stubborn for most to even consider lending aid. The general consensus was to let the (barely) sentient life die out, and then mine the husk for whatever resources could be gleaned. Sell them to the highest bidder, and set up a strip-mall. 

The Guardians had other plans. The humans in power were by and large obstinate, and cruel, filled to overflowing with hubris, and woe-fully war-minded. However, the level at which the race had progressed in such a short amount of time was at least mildly impressive, showing significant promise. The Guardians only tuned in every hundred years or so (on the commercial breaks, one could suppose), and every single time they did, there was some groundbreaking development, more often than not several. A new disease discovered and subsequently conquered; mitigated, at the very least. A humanitarian crisis of some sort or another quelled and en route post-haste to recovery. So they began to watch more closely, more frequently. The prominent conclusion from the data was that the human mind, when presented with a problem, was (in working theory) malleable enough to adapt and conquer nearly any number of adverse scenarios if applied in controlled, uniform measures. 

And that was more valuable than any other chemical compound on the planet. With a species this resilient, this adaptable, this prolific, the possibilities were difficult to truly quantify. However, they fully intended to try.

They put out the fires in one fell swoop.

 They promised a solution. The remaining human life would be suspended in an artificial animation, a paradise of sorts, until the Earth was prepared to be re-inhabited, they said. The data gathered over the past few millennia would serve this purpose. It was simple enough. In truth, most of the populace followed the same pattern anyway. It was easy to replicate. And so it was that human-kind began to dream, for the first time since man saw fit to govern man. In sleep, they were given freedom from fear. In sleep, they forged their own reality from nothing more than hope and a promise. In sleep, they would soon learn to wake up. 

In the real world, this sidewalk was a cacophony of blaring horns; angry pedestrians launching all manner of obscenities this way, and that; one hot dog guy blatantly slandering the other hot dog guy fifty feet down the way, and vice/versa; frantic street preachers shouting doomsday. The works. 

It remained as bustling as it ever was; however, the general overtone was vastly more favorable. Passersby smiled and greeted one another. The hot dog vendors agreed to disagree. A hurried, albeit forgiving stream of business professionals flowed efficiently down the avenue, pedestrians and motorists alike, their previous grievances assuaged by the vacation they now inhabited. They still went to work, sure. They still felt the stresses and strains of the life known before, but they were kinder, gentler. There existed no cause for quarrel in this dream, no true sting housed within the framework. Why should one disrupt it?

[quiet-kunoichi]

MUSE PROFILE:

real name — Kimiko Tamashi

single or taken — She has relationships across varying verses, but we’ll say the default is single.

abilities or powers — Incredibly agile, highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat and particularly well-versed in stealth. One kekkei genkai of the Tamashi clan is the ability to completely hide their chakra signature with little to no effort at all; it makes her nearly undetectable. She is prolific with botany, including poisons and salves for healing. I also like to play around with a power/ability focused on her eyes; something mildly hypnotic considering how much she enjoys playing mind-games.

eye color — Amber

hair color — Black, with some hints of brown when the sunlight hits it.

family members — Her father Akio, who is still at large but an absolute menace in her life even still ( i love him to bits and pieces ). Her mother, Miyuki Tamashi -- deceased. Miscellaneous family / clan members -- missing.

pets — None in her default verse, though I can confidently say that she’d rescue a stray kitty, nurse it back to proper health and become rather fond of it when it sticks around afterwards. Dogs are a little too high-energy for her, while cats are perfectly independent.

something they don’t like — Crowds, especially the loud ones.

hobbies / activities — Kimiko enjoys training, reading, traveling or merely spending time outdoors where she feels the most serene. This includes gathering or harvesting, as well as gardening later in her life. She enjoys people-watching at taverns, playing games like shogi or chess to flex her logical thinking skills.

ever hurt anyone before — Yes.

ever killed anyone before — Also yes.

animals that represent them — Black panther, lone wolf, scorpion.

worst habits — Self-sabotaging relationships, being transient, commitment issues, isolating, smoking or drinking, seeking out adrenaline rushes.

role models — It’s hard to say that she really has any. Even while she admires her mother’s kindhearted and patient attitude, she strays wildly from those virtues in most of her verses.

sexual orientation — Demisexual.

thoughts on marriage / kids — Feels unsuited to be a wife, and afraid to be a mother.

style preferences — Neutral earth tones or black. Default Naruto verse she dresses for utility; her clothes are tight to her skin, offer many places to store or hide weapons, a hood to keep her identity well hidden when necessary. Varies wildly in her modern verses; very alternative/punk. Loves mesh/fishnets, thick-soled ass-kicking boots and long sleeves in nearly every verse.

someone they love — Kimiko loves the memory of her mother and a few select clan members, or her foster/adopted mother in modern verse. She’s incredibly loyal to her chosen family, the select few that she allows in to her heart can experience her undivided devotion and admiration.

approach to friendships — She certainly does not put effort into seeking out a friendship. Though I’d love to see her make more friends, Kimiko is extremely introverted ( think: hermit ), as well as both suspicious *and* cynical of other people. 

favorite drink — Water, for it’s utility. She likes to add mint and/or lemon to the water from time to time, too.

favorite place to spend time at — Picturing: Her walking by herself, it’s past dusk, fog is settling in thick, everything is eerily quiet and she feels safe.

swim in the lake or the ocean — The ocean is strictly for viewing, but she’s not opposed to taking a dip in the lake.

their type — While there are certainly outliers, Kimiko tends to fall for individuals that also have a dark side or some trauma. Someone intelligent (can dish back her manipulative games), withstand her attitude and preferably get witty with her too, thoughtful, mildly irritating for how easily they get under her skin (this is a good thing, trust me). Mostly, it’s someone who leaves a lasting impression on her or pushes her out of her normal comfort zone, who sees her for who she is and doesn’t shy away from it, but rather embraces it and challenges her to grow.

camping or indoors — She does enjoy the serene solitude of being deeply settled in the forest, though I can hardly imagine her making a whole trip out of camping merely for the fun of it.

tagged by: @xkaekox !! tagging: @suck-my-tomato @astra-stellaris @abyssaldespair and @xshadowrising​ (just for more info on Kimi since I saw you already filled one out!)