#process driven
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A great couple of weeks.
What an amazing 2 weekends of racing it has been for #teamlarnes junior squads #teamlarne Schools Cup Competing for their schools in Bangor Aurora last weekend Carrie Loughridge2 swims, 2 PB’s, 1 Ulster Age Group Consideration TimeMegan Thompson2 swims, 2 PB’s, 1 Ulster Age Group Consideration TimeMaddy McDowell2 swims, 2 PB’sLucy Robinson2 swims, 2 PB’sThomas Oaks2 swims, 1 PBAnnabella Cole2…
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#coaching#swimming#teamlarne reblog development timetrial#TNDO#achieve#age group#club program#clubs#dream big#marginal gains#process driven#support#thank you#The grind#Waterwedoing#winning#youth sport
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Woke: Alhaitham sold his grandmother's house and moved into the research center because he didn't like living in an empty home with so many memories.
Also woke: Alhaitham sold his grandmother's house and moved into the research center because it was the last remaining tie he had to Kaveh, and taking ownership of it ensured that Kaveh would have to communicate with him again at least one more time.
#genshin impact#alhaitham#kaveh#haikaveh#kavetham#just sitting here thinking about#the thought process a character like Alhaitham would have to go through#to move out of a familiar and furnished home#to move into a virtually unfurnished research building#with no familiar comforts#and no experience himself in setting up a home#there's no way it was nicer than his previous house#maybe closer to the akademiya#but other than that?#a total nuisance to have to move and rearrange everything in his life#what could have driven him to make such a big change#and did Kaveh’s connection to the research center factor in#I'm thinking very hard okay
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I need to talk about Julian's whole thing with Sloan in Extreme Measures cause it does actually make me feel a certain kind of rabid
Extreme Measures is a great episode for the Julian/Miles dynamic and has a lot of great moments with them but I think an underrated element of the episode is how it very plainly shows just how much the Dominion War has changed Julian, and how his morals have shifted into a much greyer area
Julian in this episode is very callous towards Sloan even as he's literally dying. he has no issues violating Sloan's mind, and when Sloan dies, the only reason he actually cares is because the answers and secrets Sloan has will die with him. truly cannot emphasize enough just how deeply Julian fucking hates Sloan, and sheer hatred isnt something we really see all that much from Julian, especially not to the degree he was with Sloan
even with that, though, Julian has never been like that with another patient. Julian doesnt let his personal feelings get in the way of being a doctor, and always treats his patients with the utmost care and his best work. Julian was willing to find a cure for the Jem'Hadar's addiction, simply because they asked for help, even if it meant potentially making them into a much bigger threat than they already were. Julian treated Tain in Camp 371. and, sure, Julian does treat Sloan, but he does so explicitly because Sloan has information they need, not because he has any care for Sloan's life
and I think that- his willingness to violate Sloan's mind to get what they need, and how he didn't particularly care that Sloan died- is a really bleak look at just how much the war has changed Julian and how much it's shifted his moral compass. throughout the war, Julian has been ordered time and time again to compromise his morals. add to that several traumatic events- multiple of which are orchestrated by Sloan- and a slide into deep depression, and it's no wonder he gets to a point where he can do the things he does in this episode
and I dont think it hits him until much later. I think one day, long after the war has ended and theyre still rebuilding everything that was broken, Julian lays awake at night and remembers how bad it got and what he became willing to do, and it makes him sick to his stomach
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#luther sloan#Luther Sloan's death wasn't painful enough I need to bring him back and kill him again#Julian's hatred for Sloan is so compelling to me#I love when a character who is fundamentally kind and compassionate is driven to consuming hatred and rage#and Sloan does that to Julian in ways I dont think anybody else does#and that hatred is what allows Julian to do what he does#cause when you think about it- violating a dying man's mind- that is. INSANE#and not something you would expect from Julian who has always been so staunch about his morals#the morals he's been asked to compromise. over and over. by the people he looks up to#its so tragically ironic#Sloan wanted Julian to move into greyer areas and he got exactly what he wanted#except in the process it also got him killed#and yeah I think it does haunt Julian later#because Julian is a fundamentally good person#so one day he will have to contend with what he did#what he was willing to do#he's too good of a person to not have to wrestle with this at some point#maybe ill write a fic about it#I think about it often
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how to build a character-driven story: an essential tip ⚜️ (wattpad: leahjcastle)
first, you design their personality. the traits. the essence. and from the essence, which is their point of convergence, you have all the answers.
my intention with each book was to psychologically explain why they were the way they were. it’s like building a case study.
like what kind of background story makes a man turn out rational, controlling, fearful, introspective?
or what kind of story explains one's impulses, explosive emotions, rage, passion, straightforwardness?
the events naturally surge once you have their essence clear in your head. for instance, i wanted Cade COLD. i wanted Traviz HOT. so their stories revolved around their respective essence.
start from that premise.
Cade's life was cold in every sense. socially, physically. it was a world of hierarchy, rules, expectations.
Traviz's life was hot in every sense. brimmed with emotions, with too much love and too much revolt, dance, hyperactivity.
the environment shapes who you are.
so whenever you’re writing a character-driven story, don’t obsess over plots. no. have their traits defined to a point it is natural to spot their background story (a collection of experiences that range from core memories to trauma).
my books: S.CHORIANS 💙 https://books2read.com/u/bPXR07 and RED PARALLEL ❤️ https://books2read.com/u/3JpAeQ you can read them for free on my Wattpad (link pinned on my page).
#books & libraries#writing#aesthetic#books and reading#bookworm#dancers#novel#novel writing#wattpad#design#creative writing#writing tips#writing 101#character driven#character design#story#plots#writing prompt#writing problems#writing process
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"Not publicized to prevent copycats" is an absolute bullshit excuse in a nation of school shooters btw.
Please, please read this.
The Congolese genocide is one of the biggest mass murders in modern history, counting eight to ten million murder victims and millions of others severely injured.
As for Palestine, but the bombardment is somehow more intense than ever, they killed about 178 people including 52 babies the first day after the ceasefire. Zionists got hold of the photo of one of the babies cradled by his grandfather in his tiny shroud, his face waxy and eyes open and glassy in death, and has been passing it around, along with other similar pics of dead little children, claiming they're "obviously a doll". The open calls for genocide from the Israeli general public are more virulent than ever, and the IOF has arrested and imprisoned more Palestinians in West Bank than they released. The increase in intensity may be due to Blinken having told Netanyahu that "he had weeks, not months" to finish up whatever he wanted to do (genocide isn't good for the holiday spirit of the voting public methinks), and Netanyahu reportedly wants to "thin the population" as much as possible and herd the remaining survivors out through the Egyptian border.
Please take the time to scroll the tags at least every other day and reblog one or two posts. Keeping eyes on the unfolding situation helps keep the pressure on and politicians are clearly nervous now! YOU can't do anything, but you help create a vital domino effect for hundreds of thousands of people who CAN organize. Relevance is survival. Don't let these people have martyred themselves in vain!
#my TL is an absolute horror#i can't imagine what palestinians and the general arab diaspora are feeling#to be honest i was expecting this. self-immolation as protest i mean#i can't imagine how more people can witness this without being driven to desperate suicidality#before the truce everyone was kind of numb with the ceaseless trauma#but then the truce allowed them to process the enormity of their losses a little bit?#which was even more cruel imo because when they started up again it just broke the palestinians#this is what we meant when we said there's nothing humanitarian about pauses or truces or anything less than a permanent ceasefire#self-immolation#tw burning alive#tw burning#tw suicide#tw death#tw child death#gaza genocide#palestinian genocide#congolese genocide#pro palestinian protests#congolese protests#DRC#war crimes#fuck israel#fuck the USA#ceasefire now#free palestine#free congo#media suppression#knee of huss
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Mairon/Sauron (Tolkien) Cosplayer + edits: me Photo credit: stevejensen65 Wig: Arda Wigs (Grace, in “Fire Orange”) Contacts: Uniqso (Sweety Crazy Red Demon Eye) Ears: Aradani Costumes (Sun Elf Ears) Circlet: PernCirclets (on Etsy) Gorget: Crystalsidyll (on Etsy) Leather armor: LederFantasies (on Etsy) Fangs: Scarecrow (Small Deluxe Fangs) Dress base is mass-produced/store-bought; boots are my own. In the brooding silence by the light of the moon Running through yesterdays gone wrong -- Poets of the Fall
#mairon#sauron#silmarillion#tolkien#cosplay#some more end-of-First-Age angst ♡#i really enjoy thinking about the period of time after he rejected eonwe's proposal and before he appeared as annatar in eregion#having to rebuild quietly; somehow find and consolidate all his orcs and other servants that were scattered across the continent#having to learn the layout and lands of a brand new world; keep up with the elven politics and who has established themselves where#working entirely alone; no thuri no gothmog no other high ranking former angband folks he can rely on#and all in secret and with the very recent memory of how melkor and all his works were brought down#rebuilding himself as well in the process#driven by genuine love for middle earth and by anger/spite towards the West and by compulsion/perfectionism; unable to stop#must have been very lonely and bitter work#hits all the best angst spots ^^#hira cosplays mairon
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I was in a major car accident yesterday (got t-boned) and was very luckily a) alone in the car, as the passenger side got walloped and b) not injured. However I took care of everything and then went home and proceeded to sleep for 19 out of the following 24 hours.
#I could feel all my muscles and all of them were in pain. every ounce of my energy was sapped#I needed to eat but the thought of eating made me want to puke#I had to be driven home and I was sat in the front seat like 😵💫🫥😱 why aren't you BRAKING you need to BRAKE every two seconds#After my 24 hour reset I am now up to eating a meal. I still hurt but only the top quarter of my body instead of all of it.#I can stand the thought of being driven now but idk how long it'll be before I'm OK with driving again 🙁#I have been thinking about it like. all the time which sucks. Unfortunately my tolerance for processing negative experiences is -1000#If something bad happens to me I want to just fix the situation and move on from it immediately#and that just doesn't happen in reality. But now I'm stuck sitting with this awful experience for who knows how long :(#I'm lucky our insurance is so good it'll cover everything (but deductible obvs) and I imagine the car is fixable#All in all I'm incredibly lucky and I know that and I'm so grateful to be healthy and home with my husband and cat#But also I've had my license for 8 years and never had an accident. I've been through so much this year. This car is 1.5 months old#It just feels so unnecessary and evil for this to happen now and I feel so guilty that apparently I'm at fault#and caused this huge financial and energetic drain for my lil family when we've already dealt with fuckin everything else the past 6 months#The ''why me why today why when I'm a responsible driver'' is real and my whole shit is rocked. I'm still shaken up#I've had a few times recently where shit felt... unreal? Like I should be able to reload my save because that couldn't have just happened#And this was so vividly that way#I'm strong but like. The Cursed™️ vibe is very present#May have to do a curse break and many protection spells soon#cause this is getting ridiculous#personal
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i love my counselor because she refuses to pry. don’t even know if she knows that’s an option, I have so rarely met a person who stays so thoroughly in her lane.
#the thing about me is that I’m an open book with an expressive face. and also I keep a lot inside and refuse to speak on things#especially things that are bothering me#and that can be irresistible to some people who just want to dig into my soul#and it’s why I was afraid of counseling for so long. that someone would be like ‘what can we unearth in Maria’s psyche’#and she just doesn’t care/doesn’t try/is only going to take me at face value#so there is lots I don’t tell her/refuse to speak on. and you know what doesn’t it MATTER. because the point is not to push myself#to some arbitrary measure of absurd honesty/openness but to talk about stuff when/if it’s helpful#also a huge way she’s already helped me is she’s just like ‘girl you’re fine’#no but actually though. she’s always like ‘you sound like you’re thriving to me!’#and she’s also just like ‘you’re busy you have energy you have plans you make good eye contact you clearly have confidence’#with the underlying message being. the thing that’s hurting you the most is your own anxiety. which sounds obvious lol#but it is kind of the sheer act of worrying itself. the other stuff is (mostly) in order#and that has helped. she also has cured me of some wrong self/belief stuff.#like I was once like ‘I’m not organized! I make no plans!’ and she was like ‘your plans have plans what are you talking about’#she also said I was highly logical and analytical and didn’t act emotionally/from a place of emotion#and I was just like ‘pikachu face’ because one of my deepest beliefs was that I WAS an emotionally driven person#and she was like nope. you’re highly rational. I mean I took it as a compliment and loved to hear it#the problem with me is when the brain will simply spiral out of control and the details become monsters and I make things a big deal#I’m super good at that#anyway yeah just processing
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what if drinking cocktails at the hotel danieli bar and reading anne's journals about her own stay at the danieli in 1996 was the actual high point of my life and it's all downhill from here
#i cant process what i experienced this weekend#i have too many armand feelings and none of them are coherent#and daniel and marius and bianca and riccardo feelings by proxy#what if i never manage to synthesize this into fic#what if i lived the molloy life too hard and i am driven insane via experience#i need to go back i need another sunset on the ca d'oro balcony thinking about amadeo#but also i can post pics and talk about stuff i saw if like anyone is interested lol#i need a tag what is my venice tag gonna be
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what would the Scoundrel or the Scientist do if someone gave them a love letter or confession?
something roughly along the lines of this.
#yin art#ask#fallen london#the scoundrel would laugh smugly and then flirtily date you for two weeks before breaking up out of nowhere for no reason#the scientist just. crashes like a windows computer. he doesn't know how to process this.#he wasn't aware he was an option in this dating sim#he's a very sweet guy if you get past the insatiable madness-driven hunger thing#he's just completely out of his depth with romance. which is funny bc of all my ocs caeru has consistently had the most game#bitches love his sad wet tormented guy swag#the scoundrel's eyes retain color despite being drawn in greyscale bc violant is a nonsense color that does nonsense things#scoundrelventures
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Husk with his lil chest fur 'buttons' colored yellow is so cursed to me lol
my boye....... who did this to you? xD
#like. it's fine in his overlord fit bc that's (presumedly??) an actual shirt but when the colorists miscolor his buttons it pains me x'D#sometimes they're the same gray as his fur. sometimes they're omitted completely. but for some reason the yellow just Gets To Me like???#'wElL iF hE wAsN't So OvErDeSiGnEd---' shut up literally shut up stop talking leave him alone x'DDDD#also i'm fascinated by how the coloring process works that a Single frame of color can get seemingly-randomly missed like that lol#idk prolly just the perfectionist in me vs. the deadline-driven pipeline of a full-blown conglomerate-funded production lmaoooo#but with the yellow buttons they were like this for the ENTIRE SCENE so like??? What Happened There pffft
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favorite part of writing fr gotta be cutting out a small part of my soul, putting it into a character and then building a person around it
#daily life with mercy#the amount of therapy I am doing as;fdlkj#ngl I'm really happy i've more or less made peace with being a little self centered#like I'm still good to the people around me#i'm not selfISH#but I do absolutely process everything through my own lens and that's... okay?#idk I was raised to think that considering myself at all was horrendously egotistical and arrogant#and the kind of art I do is inherently kinda self centered?#it's literally me going 'what i have to say is important enough to put out there'#and further - these parts of ME are important enough to put out there#but it really is fun going#'okay you get to be self sacrificing'#'you get to have astounding confience'#'you get a pragmatic view of religion and morality that seems really cold and weird to other people'#'you get results driven personality'#'you get weepy bitch syndome'#'you get the weird sex issues'#and finally#'you get to be a dragon'
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Realizing. I don't make art to make something Beautiful and Breathtaking or even just kinda cool composition wise, no. I have some sort of affliction. I have to find a way to make this incredibly time-consuming endeavor as speedy as possible for the Sole Purpose of Putting Guys in Situations. That is my true calling. There's Guys in my brain and I just need to Get Them OUT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ And go go go gogogogogo go GOOOO GO NEXT THING NEXT THING I GOTTA. THE. SITUATIONS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ It's SO important to me..... One Billion Stories........... Infinite Amount of Situations....... featuring. My guiys.........
#i think. the affliction. i think they call it autism.#but also like it is so important to me actually that i am constantly Doing something.#idk idk it's all relative and i bet if you asked someone who does beautiful illusts all the time they could say the same sentiment i am#but like. obvs i do have to take my time w some things. esp larger projects. esp projects that are more intentional.#but it's sooooo important to me that i feel like i'm constantly moving AND. AND. constantly telling A Story.#I DON'T. WANNA SOUND PRETENTIOUS OR PICK ME I SWEAR I'M JUST SPEAKING FROM YHE HEART#and kind of airing out my frustrations and going ohhhhh. that's why. i'm Like That.#but for real i think i am just some sort of cartoonist at heart...... i'm extremely character-driven#and it's important to me. that even when i'm shitposting. it's important that there's little tidbits of storytelling#and also i just. need to make the process as quick as possible. again. i NEED to KEEP MOVING#THIS WAS. SLIGHTLY MORE ARTICULATE. IN MY HEAD. but i'm just running in circles i think#still. worth saying. i just Gotta. all of yhe time.
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I just heard a great take that none of us has considered yet about Lucas move to Honda. If it goes bad (as it will probably happen) he can always return to Vale's team. He has nothing to lose and if goes well he will be credited as the one who took Honda back to his glory.
It's actually a win situation for him
#MotoGP#MotoGP 2024 Silly season#Luca Marini#Valentino Rossi#Repsol Honda Team#Mooney VR46 Racing Team#Also he is very data driven rider and according to Zarco he knows the bike better than any other Ducati rider#and that he trust him and his decision making process and work ethics which is what attracted Honda (I guess)
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I love finding out the things that are solidly important—like, the most crucial things possible—for someone's typical postwar depictions because I have some that are so rigid, it's difficult for me to step outside the lines, but they can sometimes be totally different from someone else's brilliant world that they prefer to paint. Humans and creativity and how our minds work are just! Really cool 😌
#was thinking about it while transcribing and following the rabbit holes from there#it is as crucial to me that trapper makes the conscious decision not to write hawk as it is that bj has an affair with carrie#as it is that trapper is cheating on louise with abandon as it is that bj punches hawkeye#there has to be an extremely important reason which often has to be a narrative event that i write on the page itself for those to change#and so much of it ties around the fact that i am driven by the very careful repair process postwar#like that the worst has already happened and they have suffered through it and survived#and now there is the opportunity to tentatively lovingly carefully build on top of it#like that exact sea change moment where the character who was hurt suddenly Knows to the depths of their soul#that this is never going to happen again and that all the fighting for healing has been worth it for all of them#it's the most vital thing in the whole wide world to me to write about recovery and forgiveness being possible#when all parties have finally extricated themselves from the trauma that led them to make those mistakes#my ramblings
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as the youngest sibling it’s so weird to grow up thinking your older siblings are the smartest and coolest people in the world and then getting older and slowly realizing they’re not that great and you are fundamentally different from them in every way
#had to come to tumblr to share my deepest thoughts#cause it’s like i literally grew up thinking my oldest sister especially was so smart and capable and driven#and now it’s like oh … you’re extremely unreliable and self destructive#and i know that’s not her fault she has her own struggles#it’s just so weird for your perspective of people to change so significantly#once you start to mature and gain your own identity#it’s like she does something questionable and i just think i would never do that …#what in my growth process made me know i would never do that but you don’t realize the same thing#like ???#anybody else grow up thinking you and your sisters we’re basically the same people#and then they’re just#completely not you#like don’t get me wrong i love them to death#but at this point i can’t even believe we were raised by the same parent#it’s like i love everything about you but i never want to be anything like you#catch me in my notes app writing poetry about this
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