#problem solving: GO!!!! am i solving it Correctly? probably not but i'm having fun so!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wispurring-moss]

fascinating to me trying to learn how to draw Angel's legs in... well, Any kind of position really pffft

[stardustedknuckles]

I'm starting to think that if you're good at math and you like the way math makes sense and it doesn't crush your soul to learn it, you might should maybe probably see how far you can get learning math and see if you can do a career with it.

If you'd told me ten years ago as senior in college (hey what the fuck) that one day I would be sitting at my desk at home furiously scribbling equations and getting dopamine from correctly solving them - and not only that, but not being frustrated by the little mistakes but just learning to watch out for them...

I feel like the standard finish there is "I would've laughed at you." but like. I had such a good college algebra teacher that I was in fact briefly a math major. I was inspired. It all made sense. But I was at college on a full ride scholarship and if I made below a B in any class, I would be put on probation and if it happened again I would lose that scholarship.

Is it any fucking wonder that I hedged my bets and stuck with English? It's the same reason I stopped learning German even though I didn't mind the idea of retaking a class to be sure I understood it. I was somewhat trapped and afraid to use my one single second chance. And now I'm freshly 31 looking back and going... Okay but I CAN do this. I've always been able to do this. I just have lived my life for so long by the belief that I am not allowed to fail, ever, and that doing so will be catastrophic - something that has in fact been reinforced through things like conditional scholarships and lifelong anxiety that if I am not the best and if I am not intelligent then I am nothing, because it's the only thing people praised me for (til I left school and found out that among people in the real world, outside of academia, just being a decent human is pretty great actually).

So I'm on Khan academy and I walked it all the way back to college algebra so I can refresh what I remember, and I want to see how far I can go on my own time and how confident I am that I could in fact go into a science (I'm thinking meteorology or geology) and handle the math that comes with that. It's all just formulas. If there is one thing I'm good at, it's memorization. And I did not fully appreciate in school how often math comes with its own proofing system. The Adhd tells me I don't need to check my work - it has always been an issue. But the fact that I can is huge, actually.

Formulas are actually how I look at the world. Essays were easy because each type followed a formula. All you had to do was plug in examples to prove your conclusions. Even fanfiction tropes are, almost by definition, formulaic. The problem is that this thinking won't get you very far interpersonally/outside of math. But like... If there's a way this thinking COULD get me far, then why not? Why not at least try?

I think senior me would be glad to hear we're giving it a go again in a world and a headspace where we get to set our own pace and learn for fun, with the prospect of going back to school and taking whatever time we need. Failure is okay, actually. Taking longer to achieve a degree, making school fit around your life instead of the other way around is just fine. The time will pass anyway.

[pbandjesse]

I am a bit exhausted. I really really want to just lay here and close my eyes. It wasn't even that today was particularly hard or long, I just didn't recover from last night. Honestly today was really nice. I am just tired. And probably a little dehydrated if my head ache is to be believed.

I was confused what day it was all day. I thought it was Thursday. Am slightly annoyed that it isn't.

Waking up was very hard. James had braided my hair all nice last night after I washed my hair but regardless of that I was not enjoying my hair today. It was to dry and wasn't laying correctly. My eyes were super itchy so I didn't wear makeup. And the combination made me feel ugly. James made a fuss about me being so pretty but I was not feeling very pretty. I tried to not be concerned about it and to leave my self alone. But I failed at that. I keep picking at my face and I have little cuts over my upper lip and it has me very self conscious. I'm struggling a little!!

James would come out with me and gave me a kiss at the car. And the drive to camp wasn't terrible. I got there at 8 and changed my shoes and got myself set up for the day.

I didn't know when the group was coming but I knew it was a later start. I would spend the morning hanging out. Watching videos on my phone. Chilling. And when Sarah came in she filled me in about the senior staff meeting last night. How we are changing the names of some of the new programs. Seems good to me. And she let me know that the program today would start at 1045. Sweet.

Alexi had been collecting glass jars for specialty programs and the bag they were in for all wet in the rain so I would move them into a plastic box and brought them to the art building. I would grab the squishmallows I promised to bring for a child at the farmers market. I got a little sentimental about them but I also am hoping a child would want them?? I told her I would bring and she would decide then.

I would make a loop back to my car and then the office to grab my puhtok shirt. And then to the lodge.

I beat everyone else over there. But I was happy to see the group. It's a special needs school that comes every year and I really love when they come. They are always fun. And today was no different. There were some issues. Someone always hates being outside. But I made friends with one boy named Charlie (who had downs syndrome ) who was very very nervous to go on the zip line but ended up liking it so much he said he will come work at camp some day. Get ropes certified. Amazing. It was so nice seeing that growth.

I liked helping at the zip line. Getting everyone in and out of harnesses. I am pretty good at it. Fast. And we had a good time getting everyone who wanted to go through a couple times. And I just enjoyed talking to the kids. I enjoyed getting them all safe and set up. Plus it was just a beautiful day.

Sarah and Mannie were running the zip line itself and they were very efficient. And when a child was super scared Mannie talked to her through the walkie and tell her he would be there to catch her and that was just really sweet.

We would have an hour and a half of program. Then an hour of lunch. Then another hour and a half of program. Lunch was fine but I was getting really tired. My head started hurting and I was tired.

We started the second program a little early. And we had some interesting problems to solve with the group. Getting harnesses on and fixing helmets. But it was fun and a good day.

We would finish up and collect everything. Sarah and Mannie brought everything up to the room of the hill so they could collect it on the gator later on. And we would walk to the office together.

When we got back to the office Candela was there!! The international counselor from Spain. She's been in the States for college but she's staying at camp for a bit before she goes to California and then she'll be back for camp. It was so nice to see her.

I would talk with Alexi and Heather for a while. It was decided that I would work from home in Friday. Get some computer stuff done. We would talk for a bit about the schedule and updates and things we need to buy for programs. Felt productive.

I would head out early. And went to Phoenixville to go to goodwill. And I had some excellent finds. A lovely grey linen house dress. A little mechanical horse toy. And a brand new skims lounge dress??? An $80 dress?? For $9! Incredible. The man at the register was very nice. Old country boy. Very kind.

I wasn't ready to go home. So I went to the thrift store in Timonium. Where I would find an excellent ll bean terry cloth beach cover up. And a little orange Ikea rolling suitcase. Which I didn't think they were going to sell me because I couldn't find the price tag. But it was on the extending handle!! I appreciate the worker helping me out.

I would pay and head home. Traffic was very tough. So I took a very backwards way just to avoid sitting still. And would be back home at 515.

James was upstairs doing their podcast. So they didn't what me come home. I would try on my finds and put things away. Sweetp would come hang out with me.

Eventually I went downstairs to have a cookie and James would join me. They told me that the sign ups for doing the swim in the inner harbor sold out in 10 minutes. And we got two spots!!! I know it's contentious. That people think we will get multiple diseases from going in the water. But as long as it hasn't rained it is tearing safe. I think it's important to support continuing making the water safer so eventually we can have a beach front like Chicago does!!! It's important to me that Baltimore continues to improve and this is a part of that.

I would have other wins today. I got invited to participate in the Baltimore birthday bash, and creative alliance invited me to lead a special workshop. I am feeling really good about my careers and art and all of that. Even if I have made myself really busy. It's a good busy.

James would make us dinner. And then went to play DND with their friends. I took a nice bath. And am laying in bed with sweetp. I am very very much excited to close my eyes. My allergies are also bothering me a bit but that is okay. I am just in a good mood. Tired. But happy.

Our school from today is there again tomorrow. They are having an overnight program. I think it will be nice doing low ropes with them. And then after work I'm meeting up with Celia and we're going to a strawberry farm! I hope the whole day is just really nice.

Sleep well everyone. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[mithrilhearts]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ♥️

PIXIE!!! MY BELOVED!!!!

So I've already done this, which you can find here, but I want to still do it again, but this time I'll talk about WHY these specific fics are "my favorite" (even though I love them all for a variety of reasons.)

In no particular order, I picked these as my top five, and here's why!

→ may your forge burn bright This is my first big fic. Honestly, getting into writing fanfic was so nerve wracking. I was so used to just 1:1 roleplaying characters, but to mold the story by myself was...a challenge, and I started out with a few one shots and decided I wanted to do something bigger. It was a great challenge for me, and while the fic is still ongoing, it's still my "I'm learning" fic, I feel. It's what really launched me into writing fics, and probably into the fic-fandom for bagginshield. It's my baby.

→ dragonhearted My second big fic!! Based on my two favorite pieces of media, and honestly, I had the idea of this type of au right out of the gate. It all aligned so perfectly, but I wasn't going to do it. I didn't feel like I could do either story justice in mashing them together. However, I'm going to lay the blame at @dwarvishring's feet for unintentionally giving me the push to just...do it. Now it's become one of the fics that I feel like I'm known for, one of my favorites, and we all know it's @i-did-not-mean-to's favorite as well. It's VERY special to me.

→ when darkness shines brightest My first collaborative project!! I've always loved working with Star on commissions and screaming about various ideas, but this fic actually...started out as a joke. Bagginshield applies to everything haha, and we talked about Nightmare Before Xmas and other things that kind of fit together...and this...whole ass story popped out. I'm having such a great time, and it's definitely one of those stories that feels the most "original" to me. Thank you for being such an awesome partner, @stardryad-random!!!

→ bookbinder//songwriter My first modern au!!! Honestly this whole list is a bunch of firsts for me. This was originally a prompt for a one shot, if I remember correctly, and it TERRIFIED me. Modern AU is something I am still afraid of, but growing to love more and more, and I have grown so very attached to these interpretations of the characters. It's one of those slice of life type of fics with little problems to solve and great joys to be had.

→ where the shadows lie Alright, this is one of those fics where if I'm feeling particularly cheeky or impish, this is where I go. It's such a crackshit fic with the most ridiculous things. When things don't need to be serious, I come here and fall into this silly little world - and it has a plot!! In the background, anyway. It's just so much fun and hits differently than my other stories. Plus, it's a great head nod to one of my other favorite sources of media, What We Do In The Shadows.

[troglobite]

laskjdfldksj

well.

i'm extremely good at figuring out and intuiting the rules of games and gameified situations.

i don't need to read an instruction manual--often those are poorly written and more confusing

all i need to do is watch 5-15 minutes of gameplay, and i completely understand what's going on, and will be able to figure it out and replicate it better than the ppl i'm watching play the game.

there are exceptions of course--like longform deck building games. i can figure out exactly how to play them, but knowledge of every single card, the meta on strategies and specific decks, and the whole thing w like different color decks etc., that all still takes a lot of time to study and memorize, of course. i can't cheat familiarity with all of the cards and the meta on strategy, i can just figure out the rule systems in which they're playing and strategizing

games with much simpler rules and gameplay, i can easily figure out the strategies for, though

anyway all this to say

this is exactly the same kind of thinking and problem solving and attention that i apply to social situations

i just now realized that part of why i remain so quiet in new situations isn't just because i'm scared and don't wanna fuck up, i'm also intensely observing. and i've always known that i was observing, but i figured it was like, optimizing for Which Mask Do I Wear Here/With These People

but no, i'm also intensely figuring out the social norms and rules. that obviously takes a LOT LONGER, but i can figure it out.

and honestly i think this is why streamers with irritating chats are SO fucking irritating to me

i'm like--you JUST popped in, you didn't read the chat rules, you don't know anyone or anything here, and you're just??? DEMANDING ATTENTION??? WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???

which is perfectly in line w my trauma response character flaw of

"I BENT OVER BACKWARDS AND EXPENDED ENERGY I DIDN'T HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW BEST TO OPERATE IN THIS SITUATION AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? HORRIBLE! ABSOLUTELY DETESTABLE! BEGONE FROM MY SIGHT YOU FUCKING MISTAKE!"

anyway like i said trauma response character flaw :)

i never say anything like that out loud or treat anyone much different at all based on that, it's just my internal narrative/monologue

and it's entirely rooted in my own bullshit

and when it's games and their rules, i can play it off for laughs. "don't read the instructions i can just tell you how to play" or jokingly 'screaming' at the game designer themself getting the rules of the game wrong, when they spent years on it and i learned it in 20 mins by watching ppl play incorrectly (and i figured out how/why they were playing incorrectly)

but when it's real fucking life and socializing, it's not fun or funny, and i simply don't vocalize it.

but i'm realizing this kind of behavior is all the same thing.

this is also what allows me to, for the most part, bake something correctly on my first attempt. i just watch people do it a few times, learn to intuit what the instructions mean, then just Do It.

i'm one of those people who says "just follow the fucking recipe" (not literally, but like, metaphorically) bc to me it just Makes Sense that you would Follow The Recipe and It Would Work. like if you're following the recipe, how do you fuck that up?

ohhh my god now realizing this is also probably why i was good at test taking in school.

i simply figured out what the fuck the test wanted from me, studied the correct stuff, and i didn't sweat abt it bc if i didn't know, then i could make a decent guess. you just strategize and figure out what the test is, y'know?

same fucking thing in school in general--just figure out the rules and expectations, follow and meet them, boom done.

and now here i am also a person who enjoys puzzles. escape rooms, riddles, literal puzzles. //sigh

all of those are mostly fun for me bc of the satisfaction of figuring something out and being right.

i'm trying to decide if that's bad or not, but i'm seriously congested and am developing a horrible headache bc my bed smells like lysol

even though i've used lysol to "spruce" up my mattress and the weighted portions of my weighted blankets DOZENS of times WITHOUT ISSUE, for SOME reason, this time EVERYTHING REEKS OF LYSOL and it WON'T GO AWAY even though it has been FUCKING HOURS and i'm NOT EVEN TOUCHING ANYTHING THAT HAD LYSOL ON IT

IT ALL AIRED OUT AND GOT COVERED BY SOMETHING ELSE

SO WHY AM I SMELLING LYSOL

anyway i'm literally in hell and here was a useless look into how my brain works

final thought that just occurred to me:

everybody who's been playing dnd for 15 years, and exclusively 5e for several years: wait, okay so their AC is 15? i rolled a 15. what does that mean?

me, screaming and tearing my hair out: MEETS IT BEATS IT!!!!! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!!!! YOU HIT THEIR ARMOR CLASS!!!!!! AKSJDHFALK HFLAHJSFKSDJ

anyway :)

i'm a rules lawyer for games in case that wasn't clear. and being a dm AND a rules lawyer is basically impossible. :)

everyone needs a rules lawyer! including for homebrew rules and rulings! just so long as you're not a dick abt it :)

[yombleflobber-mobile-emporium]

Yet Another...Math Post. About Trauma.

I swear, guise, I'm not a math blog *blushes, squeebles around*

I have one more week of math, and I am...doing okay. Kind of. Math is something I have a sort of love/hate relationship with. To be clear, the hatred is not for the actual subject of math, but the method with which I was taught math.

See, when I reached high school age, I was offered a choice: I could continue my schooling at home, with my parents continuing their roles as teachers, or I could enroll in the local high school in town. As with many of these decisions, I received advice from a couple of different sources, one of which was my sister, who implied that, since I had no particular stake in the game, my time in high school might be a bit rough.

I think the flip side of her advice (which was geared toward "you should go to public school") was actually in a light of, "This might be a bumpy landing, but then you will arrive at a better destination than flying Family Air." I say this with around sixteen years of hindsight, some gradual realizations regarding my parents, their parenting styles, and the benefits of interpersonal relationships outside of the Family Bubble.

I chose to continue homeschooling.

My parents, whom I will give the benefit of the doubt regarding their role in that decision, decided that they should be serious about my education at that point, and saw fit to begin a new phase in my mathematical journey: Algebra.

Up until that point, my exposure to math personally was fairly tentative, and I viewed it with some degree of ambivalence. Math is very important to my father (he taught himself calculus, after all, for fun), and while I had a drive to do well in math, I really hated doing repetitive math. I firmly believe Saxon Math should go die in a hole. Seriously, there is "getting it" and then there is "oh my goodness I am so damn bored with this, can I just die right now?"

So my parents gave me a math aptitude test, and I did fairly well, but was confused by some things (didn't know what the "*" symbol [not asterisk, but the big, black dot that denotes multiplication instead of "x"] meant, so I don't recall what I did with those problems). So when the next school year started, my parents brought out the algebra book, and I started working on it.

At first, things went well. I don't really have too much of a case against algebra. Frankly, the argument that I "won't ever use it" never really stuck for me, because there are quite a few things I enjoy that fit in the category of "complicated things that I will never have practical use for", and that doesn't stop me from dipping my toes in those things, nor do I have much difficulty getting into them. I do tend to prefer to cut corners where I can, however, and I saw the stepwise method of solving equations to be tedious, so I just...didn't. I was confident that I could do the math in my head, and just spit out the answer x=5 (or whatever) and be done with it.

Well, that ultimately led to problems, because I really am not capable of holding a bunch of different variables in my head on a little whiteboard, and, inevitably, I got some questions wrong. Probably a lot of questions, because when "show your work" is included in the grade, and you don't do it, that means you didn't do the question correctly, regardless of the outcome.

So my father decided to address my work, and, shall we say, it did not go well.

While I am sure that a lot of the problem involved a lack of humility on my part, the part that really dug into my brain that I carry with me into any and all mathematical situations is the stark rage that my father displayed at my impudence. A highlight of the discussion is that he explained that the reason we perform step operations on algebraic expressions is because that's the "best way", and my refusal to do it flies in the face of convention set down by smarter people than me. Another highlight is that I'm stupid for not just doing it.

My father screamed at me enough that my mother and sister intervened. My father told them not to "protect" me.

This sister, it should be noted, struggled with math, and received much the same treatment from our father. I don't know what all that entailed, but I do know that there were quite a few times that she ran up to her room, sobbing, after a tutoring lesson with dad.

I don't remember much in the interim of high school math, but I did have to take a math class in college, and that rivaled speech class for my favorite two classes. I realized not only that I enjoy doing math (with some exceptions), but that I am actually pretty good at it. This was, entirely, because my math teacher in college:

Loved math

Loved teaching

Loved teaching math

I was introduced to the concept that I wasn't...stupid, and I could, actually, do things with math that I were fun.

Of course, as all things go, now that I am doing math again for college ten or so years down the line, I'm relearning things that I didn't grasp well, and I get very frustrated trying to work things out the way I thought it was supposed to be done, and I beat myself up over it. My wife is the sweetest little cheerleader, though. She really doesn't get that practically all she has to do is lie there pregnantly and squeak "You're not dumb!" from time to time, and I know I can do anything.

Anyway, I should probably finish my math homework for this week. I have a lot of questions to work through, and I'm so distracted I missed several opportunities to respond to radio calls with "Coffee." rather than "Copy."

I don't know what I would do with my life if I couldn't do that.

[raslolin]

۞𖣔 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𖣔۞

Silva walked through the hallway silently with his footsteps while holding the lightweight box in his hand.

No matter what's happening in the manor right now he doesn't care.

Even when his partner was calling for help.

The more he walked the louder Kikyo's scream is.

'Listening to her screeching is like satan propose her a marriage by torture.'

Thinking back about what Kikyo said and how she behaved.

Kikyo screams to his face to his back for a week after his son's runaway.

"Killua just ran away! At least do something instead of watching he ran off!"

"The hell were kind of thoughts are in your mind that time do something! Tell me at least!!"

"THIS IS DISAPPOINTING!"

"Hunter exam!? What is he doing there."

"WHAT?! There's for fun!?! What kind of-"

He shuts his mind off about his wife it seems to make him less stressful for now.

'About Killua.. Illumi will deal with him.'

'This will get more and more annoying..'

Narrowing his eyes slightly as he reached the outside in seconds.

'Time to visit.'

He feels the book was the main problem of it all when in reality it's the opposite.

'This must be solve.'

Zeno fastly reach for the knob of the library door slammed it open as the butlers followed him inside.

To the butlers horrified expressions, he know it's time for him to step out and never mind about this business again or maybe just get out of this household full of nothing but his daughter in-law screams.

Ready to walk out of the library he stops.

'In the end I can't avoid it.'

Signing to himself he turned to the staffs and ordered them out.

"All of you get out."

His raspy voice were filled with nothing but dissatisfaction, disappointment and the irritation he's feeling began bubbling inside his body faintly.

After all of them out of room he waited and waited.

'Where's Milluki? I heard him I'm sure..'

"Mama!"

Milluki arrived with sweats and breaths hitching every seconds his eyes still on the ground.

It took a minute to bring himself back together again. His eyes widened in surprise.

"She's dead."

His grandfather said his face still the same as ever.

"What do you mean grandpa? Mama's still breathing."

Milluki's voice sounds relieved after he saw his mother's body twitching for help.

Silva's now arrive in front of the destination he supposed to be visit two time years ago.

Ready to knock on the door only for the door itself opened by a mere maid.

"Master is expecting you mister Zoldyck."

Without anymore words the maid leads him to the beautifully decorated detail wooden door.

Hands up to knock on the door.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

No answer.

He knocked again three times louder.

Still no answer.

Without hesitation he opened the door only to find a grey haired man sitting in the chair facing his way to the door.

"Why didn't you open the door?"

Silva asked clearly still confused and not used to his friend's weird behavior.

"Why? Well if you came here before marry that hysterical unstable bitch everything would go fine!"

"That golden child of yours won't runaway from home if you were here six years ago but.. something important must be an exchange for an unfit able heir."

The man slowly whisper the last part quietly that Silva can't make out other than his stupid endless rumbling insults for the pale blonde hair's man.

'He needs to stop saying this.'

Sighed to himself disappointingly seeing his old friend look interest or with suspicions to the object in his hand.

"That's what you want me to talk about?"

The grey hair man stood up from his chair walked past him only to lock the door behind Silva.

In the blink of his eyes only to see his friend sat on the same chair again with another chair on the opposite side of the table.

Walked up to the another side of the table by his large two steps pulled the chair out and sit.

"Have you had any breakfast yet?"

"No.."

"Great you god damn son of a bitch!"

"..."

"And tell your wife to learn her manners about getting into people business and being persistent."

"Of course."

"Let's have some breakfast first before we get to the point."

His friend whose seemed happy after leashed out his raged to him for not teaching his wife step out of the line.

Silva could only nod in agreement hoping his friend wouldn't talk about much he himself made wrong choices in his life.

A needle man face who's running at steady speed in the boring looking group of people.

The sounds of the man's phone ringing loud enough only for his ears, as the crown he's in spilt up suddenly.

What a luck he has today! The perfect time to report as he feels the vibration of his phone ringing once more.

He slows down his running as examiners in front of him all vanished to the air.

Leaving him and the other boring looking examine who looks ready to give up on everything.

Pulled out a needle from his ear suddenly appears in front of the young girl who barely feels her surroundings.

'Perfect around my height.'

Pierced a needle on her head as he speed up taking out all of his needles around her neck to her whole face.

"Follow the examiner-"

"Oh! And use the radio when you're near the destination act your best behavior."

Throw the radio at the zombie like pose person as she catch it.

The disguise girl who walked like a zombie slowly developed to humanly robotic running.

He walked to the other side of the forest find a perfectly spot for a private talking in the trees.

Pulled his phone from pants pocket he push the round button accepting his family's member call.

"Hello?"

"Oh finally you answered!"

"You do know where I am right now. What is it?"

"Uhh we need you to be here as soon as possible after the exam."

"That's doesn't matter after the exam I have business to go."

"Well forgot about your business with that annoying clown or with the brat, mama's not in good shape however it's like god's favor her a miracle she's survived."

"Of course Killua went too far with her than you."

"That's not what I meant, her neck literally twisted to the other side and still breathing."

"What do you mean mother's neck was distorted but she's still alive?"

The monotone voice were hinted with confusion.

"That's what I mean. I don't know how she's alive either-"

His younger brother voice filled with fascination.

'Mother's not in good shape, Milluki shouldn't be thinking about that cartoon show he always watch and compare the situation with it.'

Frowning to himself dissatisfaction clearly showed what kind of emotions he felt.

Before he open his mouth tell his brother to get straight to the point.

"And don't worry she's in good hands."

The sounds of the younger one voice now filled with relief.

"Really? Thank god, tell me more."

"Well yes while mama's screeching were covering someone's chanting."

"Chant?"

"Yeah, grandpapa said it was like echoing the hallway if it's possible the whole mountain could hear it."

"Then?"

"Then- uhh I can't tell you because I don't know. I meant we don't know and after the exam we need you to be here."

"What's the hurry?"

"I don't know okay! At least act like the brat is now your second priority that's dad's order!"

"Of course if what that's father says so, anything more?"

"Grandpa said it himself and he said he heard me shouting before I'm at the library. He said my voice were either inside the library or outside but not too far from the room and I can't shout too loud or my throat gonna be sore."

The younger sibling spoke fast but enough at least for him to catch on.

"After Gotoh investigated the others it seems only everyone's heard my shout not what grandpapa heard."

"You know father said to not believe in what grandfather says."

"I do. What about Killua?"

"He's fine."

"Okay."

The call between two eldest siblings ended.

'Oh I forgot to asked about father. But from Milluki's voice I think it's enough.'

'If it more possible instead of what something unbelievable like a woman who dressed in laced as they say. It's just illusion but what if it's not? There's proofs especially the ones that had been confirmed by Nen-users and science.'

'The time Killua ran from home I wasn't there.. From what I heard the wounds are deep enough but he only managed to hurt her face. Killu's height are not enough to reach her face probably her neck and chest.'

He then took a deep breath long enough to relax his body after the news he had been informed too.

'I wasn't informed correctly am I? I'm sure I am. The butlers aren't stupid enough to break any rules. If her neck twist to the other side but instead like almost cutting down a tree and Milluki always use words that's not fitting the meaning when he's angry.'

'As much as I remembered grandfather conversion between chairman's Netero...'

'Looks like it's something more important than Killua. Impossible. Unbelievable.'

'If he knows Nen before mother could've die.. and possibly Milluki too. A double edged sword situation.'

Lean on the tree he's been standing for almost 10 minutes letting out a hot breath from his mouth.

"This is troublesome than I thought."

"Hm~"

His attentions is now on the bright pink haired man who just carried the other man on his shoulder steadily.

'Killua's friends? Not good.'

"Looks like your house is full of problems now ❤︎ "

The clown magician whose now full of joy seeing his motionless friend struggles.

"Do you need any help, Illumi?"

The bright pink hair man chuckles loudly.

"Can you not interfere my business?"

"Well I can't help it when you talked about that."

Sounds of multiple footsteps past them quickly, Illumi took it as a sign to give himself privacy somewhere else.

"Hisoka, we will talk about that later private matters."

With that the jet black hair man gone only to find him running in the crowd of examiners blending perfectly.

"Okay~"

'Time to pick new toys ❤︎ '

Hisoka looks up the sky only to find the weird cloud shapes display to his own golden eyes.

He pulls out a card from his pocket pants flip the card pattern side to his eyes.

The beautiful pink pattern make him feel at ease like it always was in the past.

Slowly life his hand up to sky challenging himself by keeping the card's pattern blind his sights.

As his arm reached it's limit stretch he flipped the card symbol side to his view.

'Hearts?'

Slowly slide the card to the other side of his view comparison seeing the shape hearted cloud in white to black colored that's above him everywhere he stands.

'Will it be other shape next time I wonder..'

A card were sent to his way fastly but not fast enough to hurt him.

'Someone's watching!'

'First time every been attacked by a card..'

'But who would use it as a weapon against me?'

He pull the card that's stuck in the tree he’s leaning on.

"Oopsie~! almost hurt you ❤︎"

He glanced at the unconscious glasses man whose on his shoulder.

"But-! You're not important that much right now ♠︎ "

Pull out the card by his hand that support his arm holding the small glasses young adult.

Throw the beautiful pattern card to his other hand's up to the sky.

Much to his expectations eyes widened in shock.

A person wearing a lacy card symbols dress swaying on the swing happily.

The ropes that's on both of person hands are torn suddenly by pulling down the forced to the ground.

Gender of the person fastly revealed as the cloth from her head can't keep up sensitivity falling from the sky.

There's no scream of panicking. No laughing. No crying. Nothing just nothing.

As the woman falling now nearing Hisoka she's use her two hands cover his eyes before her head smashed to the soft grass ground.

*TNGH!!!*

𝙶𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔? 𝚈𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚛 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝? 𝚈𝚎𝚜

[callmeunstable]

Angels & Demons - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Characters: Reader

Summary: She finds herself in the middle of a unknown forest after falling asleep. It seems like a normal forest until she gets to meet a mystical creature that welcomes her in a different world.

Warnings: Monsters, Cursing, Blood

Words: 2.000+

A/N: Hey! This is my first fic and I decided to place it in the universe of the greatest of the greatest. Geralt of Rivia! I don’t know where this will go 100%, but I know it’s going to be interesting. 😄 The reader starts of in our modern world and stumbles into the universe of The Witcher. I take my information mostly from the books and games but my fic is set based of the Netflix series so it’s basically beginners friendly.☺️

Disclaimer: GIF’s and PNG’s are taken from Tumblr and are not mine! Credits to the creators!

Song:

“Two face, two face, yeah Black, white, left, right, yeah Up, down, all night, yeah Can't escape it ever Don't forget my name I don't feel the same On a trip, no train“

The music made her headphones vibrate. Probably loud enough for everyone around her to hear. If there was anyone. She was alone, hiking in the forest. It was what she always did when her anxiety got the best of her. The city is loud and dirty, squeezed full with people that never look around. Never realizing what was going on in the real world. At least what that’s what they called their reality. She always thought it was foolish to believe that they were alone in this big of a universe. Impossible.

Some stones here and there made her trip but she didn’t stop. She knew where she wanted to go and she didn’t intend to stop before she reached her destination. Kicking some branches out of the way and silently passing other hikers that greeted her with waving hand. She didn’t like the people in the city. All of them were selfish and money orientated. Of course, so tried to earn some money as a health center receptionist at her university but only to keep her head above water. Her focus was on her degree in medicine. She wanted to be able to afford a good life for her and her dad.

“And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm fallin' from Eden”

She slowed down and let herself down on the ground.  Pulling her knees to her stomach and breathing in the fresh air of the trees. The pollution caused by cars and all of these different companies laying behind her. Closing her eyes and trying not to fall asleep. Her insomnia got worse on hot summer days like these. The missing air conditioning in her dorm room made it even worse. Two hours have to be enough to function. She couldn’t wait for the autumn to start. For the leaves to fall. And the crowds to shrink

“So fuck me like a rockstar, dancing on a cop car Nothin' in the world can stop me now Fucked up like a rockstar, riding in a cop car No one in the world can help me out-“

Her music was cut short and her eyes gazed at the screen. The Battery was almost empty. With an annoyed groan, she took off her backpack searching for her power bank. The only good thing summer had for her was the power of the sun being strong enough to charge the battery of the device. Still having her headphones in her ears. Just in case someone stumbled across and wanted to have a conversation. The easiest way to ignore people without seeming too harsh.

Her glance went up, analyzing anything she was able to catch. The mountains far back on the horizon hugged by a thick layer of clouds that protected them from any unwanted attention. The distance colored them in a blueish gray tone that would capture a lot of people. At least the ones who noticed and wanted to have a peerless experience.

Some strange black orbs were able to sneak into her daydream making her once again face the consequences of her lack of sleep. Slowly blinking she took a look at her watch. 2 pm. Still early. She just wanted to close her eyes for a few more minutes. To help her find her lost energy. Just in case she set her alarm for an hour and put her phone in the pocket of her pants. - “Everybody said that I'm falling, uh Took another line, I'm calling, uh I'm so sick of the nonsense, uh I'ma dive into the mosh pit, uh I don't really think I'm the problem I don't really think it's a problem Me plus me is a problem One gunshot could solve 'em Tell my friends I'm sorry though T-T-T-Tell my sins to go. And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm fallin' from Eden”

The tones of her favorite song woke her up. Her headphones got disconnected while she was asleep. With panic caused by the rush of adrenaline, she paused the music. Taking a deep breath and enjoying the silence again. Her arms were stretched above her head and a yawn made it through her mouth. Slowly gaining back clear vision she looked up again. But something was different. The dusk was slowly setting in.

She failed to set her alarm correctly. But it could be worse, she wasn’t doing anything special today anyway. As she was standing up she looked for the mountains in the far, however, her view was blocked. Big deciduous trees rose in front of her. Maybe she fell asleep in a different place? A little far more into the forest? 

She got herself up and started walking her way back. At least what she thought was the right way. Somehow everything looked a little different. As different as forests could look like. The hiker trail was gone. Slowly breathing away her risen heartbeat she tried to focus. It’s just the forest how bad can it be? She always found her way out of it. She got lost a couple of times whilst exploring new paths but still. The air felt different. Not as heavy as she was used to. The trees were able to give her better oxygen as in the city but they just couldn’t hold all of the smog back.

Her feet automatically began to walk faster and faster as time went by and nothing seemed familiar anymore. She tried to find her starting point again but that seemed rather impossible right now. There was still a lot of light left but everything seemed strange.

She started to run. Jumping over the rocks and logs that blocked her way. As she was trying to bridge over the next log she wasn’t able to see the small lowering that led to her stumbling and rolling a couple of feet down. ‘Great, just great.’ 

Her thoughts were sarcastic, helping her to cope with the panic rising in her throat.

She looked up and let out a short scream. Some big bright yellow eyes were looking at her from above. They belonged to a child with pale blue skin. At least it looked like a child. She didn’t dare to move one muscle, staring at the creature in front of her.

It was barely as tall as a 9-year-old and it’s skin made it look like it was suffocating. A rough crown made out of sticks sat on top of its head. It wore some pants that had seen better days. They seemed to be made out of a cheap fabric that was ripped in several places. A green scarf was hanging from its neck. 

“Hello.” It could speak. His mouth was stretched to wild smile.

“It’s been some time since an ol’ villager got lost in ma forest. That was some fall you had. Are you alright?” Still staring at the creature she tried to get her words together.

“Ehm…yes I tripped and fell. I don’t think I’m hurt. Thank you.”

“Good to hear. So what’s your name? I’m James.”

She hesitated. She didn’t even know if this creature was human. She couldn’t trust just anyone.

“Alva. My name is Alva.”

“Nice to meet you, Alva. So what did ya run away from? Thought the Drowners were after ya.” Drowners? What the fuck are Drowners?

“Yeah so. Excuse me the question but you seem rather … blue?” She was scared to ask something like this but this little creature seemed friendly.

“Oh that. Have you never seen a good ol’ Godling? Because that’s just what I am indeed.” The little boy laughed and seemed to be happy to have found some company.

“That is a Godling?”

“You never heard of us amazing Godling?”

The little blue boy explained to her that Godlings are woodland creatures dwelling in burrows and moss-covered hollow stumps on the outskirts of human settlements. They are deeply rooted in their home territory and perform acts of care and guardianship to those dwelling near their burrows. They watch over people as well as animals, but, shy creatures by nature, they try to do so while remaining unseen. Godlings are drawn to joy and innocence, and so delight in the company of children and usually only show themselves to the young.

“That’s why I am talking to ya. You seem fun. At least you look funny.” The boy started to walk around her while lifting her flannel and poking her skin.

‘He’s the one looking like a tall version of a smurf. What is he talking about?’ Her thought rushes inside of her head, making her regaining the feeling of dizziness.

“So you’re telling me you’re some kind of magical creature as in Harry Potter?” The girl tried to order her thoughts by sitting down and trying to hold on to the facts the little guy was telling her. Maybe she was in a coma? Or dreaming? Possibly. These are the only explanations she could come up with.

“I don’t know anyone called Harry Potter. Is he a friend of yours?”

“Ok, listen up. You’re probably just part of my imagination so why don’t we have some fun while it lasts?” As long as she sleeping and lucid dreaming she could at least make the best out of it.

“Yes, let’s have some fun! I love singing, I love music! I heard some strange melody coming from your direction. That’s how I found you.” James started to do some little happy jumps and clapping.

“Oh, you mean this?” Alva took her phone out of her pocket and showed it to him.

“What witchy device is that suppose to be?”

“No magic. Technology. Let me show you.” She pressed on some Icons and song from earlier continued.

“So fuck me like a rockstar, dancing on a cop car Nothin' in the world can stop me now Fucked up like a rockstar, riding in a cop car No one in the world can help me out.”

The little one danced to the music and showed off some rather random dance moves. Spinning in circles, jumping up and down and throwing his hands in the air.

Still thinking of her lucid dreaming she joined her little Godling friend. Turning the music louder and louder they enjoyed themselves.

Until a growl broke the peace of the music. But both James and Alva were to focused on having von dancing to notice some strange noises. They didn’t hear it, down to the moment when the girl got hit by something sharp, making her fall to the ground.

“Don’t stop dancing Alva, you’re no fun.” The Godling still didn’t realize that Alva was sitting on the ground covering her bleeding upper arm with her hand. Looking up she saw the scariest creature she could’ve imagined. 

In front of her is standing a sickly blue or green colored human, with slime and sludge oozing out of every pore and the acrid stench of rot wafting off of it. No, that wasn’t a human.

“James! What the fuck is that?” The girl cried for help.

Finally objectifying the situation, James was hurrying towards the creature when it rose its arm for another attack.

Covering her face Alva started to realize that this is the moment she was going to die. You can’t get hurt in a dream. That is just not possible. Her arm was on fire, giving her a pain she never had felt in her entire life. This was real. Waiting for the next hit but it never came.

Slowly she opened her eyes to see only James in front of her. The monster not in sight.

“Where did he-?” Completely shocked by the situation and being unable to talk, Alva starred at the boy.

“Don’t underestimate the power of a Godling. Nothing comes between me and my forest. And since you stumbled in it you’re a part of it.” He looked down at her bleeding arm and his eyebrows furrowed.

“You need a healer. As much as I’d love to I can’t heal it.”

The words barely got to the girl. She was scared for her life. She never believed something like this could happen. But one thing she knew for sure. This wasn’t her reality.

“And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm falling from Eden.”