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wheelie-sick · 4 months ago

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What are your thoughts on self diagnosing physical health issues? My friend said it's okay to self diagnose some but not others (like is okay with people self diagnosing pots, fibro, or cfs but says you can't self diagnose conditions like ankylosing spondylitis, lupus, or multiple sclerosis) but isn't able to explain why they're okay with some but not others

Oooooo I have a lot of thoughts about this

this is missing a lot of nuance because there is so much nuance to this topic, but here's the gist of my opinion.

I think a huge impact on this is the absolute range of what people consider self diagnosis to be. some people will consider all the way up to your doctor saying "you probably have this" but not having confirmed it yet to be self diagnosis (<- this is not self diagnosis. it's just not.)

for the sake of this I'll define self diagnosis as a person being moderately to completely confident in having a condition while a doctor has not yet agreed (not necessarily that they've disagreed, just that they haven't yet agreed) having light suspicion is also not self diagnosis.

I think, in general, physical health conditions fall into the "it's circumstantial" category. I don't actually think anything is entirely "off limits" for self diagnosis- particularly because some families have very strong genetics for specific conditions.

it would be unreasonable for most people to self diagnose spinocerebellar ataxia type 13 because it is so exceptionally rare but also... it's autosomal dominant and runs in families. generally people in positions like these get diagnosed via pre-emptive testing but not always. for most people, putting the suspicion on a more common condition is the logical way to go but if you have the symptoms of the rare autosomal dominant disorder in your family despite not having a diagnosis yet, well 🤷

it's all these messy situations with genetics that make talking about this a complicated mess. while neurodivergencies absolutely can be and often are genetic they're not genetic in the same way many physical health conditions are. what I mean by this is- there isn't one single gene that causes them. many physical health conditions have clearly defined genetic causes with known inheritance patterns.

obviously de novo mutations exist making everything a bigger tangled mess

and so do disorders with no known genetic cause

and disorders which often have genetic cause but sometimes just show up for 🤷 no one knows quite why but they do (my mom is in this boat with ankylosing spondylitis, she's in the minority without the gene that predisposes to it)

and of course you can have the gene for something and then never develop the disorder

I do think there are a couple of factors anyone should be taking in consideration before self diagnosing a physical condition

prevalence in the general population & within your family. you look for horses before zebras (look for what's common before what's rare) while anyone can have a rare disease you should be taking into account the prevalence when looking at possibilities

differential diagnoses. everything has differential diagnoses. responsible self diagnosis involves looking at those and comparing.

how it's actually diagnosed. some things have very strict diagnostic criteria and not all of those can be tested for at home. when it comes to conditions like POTS you can be wrong but you also can mimic a tilt table test at home. you can't mimic the genetic test for vEDS or an MRI for multiple sclerosis

testing that has already been done.

I want to say some more on the latter three because I've already touched on prevalence a bit.

with differential diagnosis you can always be wrong. a lot of people look at POTS, fibro, and ME/CFS and "easy to self diagnose" and I actually wildly disagree because all of them are diagnoses of exclusion. just because they're common and have diagnostic criteria you can find online that you can test for yourself does not mean they are easy or light to self diagnose. this isn't to say that people can't self diagnose with them, I can't and won't stop people, but it needs to be done with care. it's also important to seek medical confirmation from a provider who will be thorough when able to.

I see the same problem with providers too, actually. they're quick to throw one of these 3 diagnoses at someone, then that poor person finds out they have something life threatening instead by having a preventable medical crisis 🫠 do your best not to let your doctor give you a diagnosis of exclusion on the first appointment, and if they do, seek a second opinion.

just using POTS as an example because I know the most about that one- certain heart blocks, inappropriate sinus tachycardia, mitral valve prolapse, and more can all mimic it. you cannot differentiate between the above based on symptoms or an at home tilt table.

I think testing plays a big role but I put less weight on it than other aspects, like differential diagnosis and prevalence. you obviously need to either meet criteria or have strong suspicion that you do. if you can't tell me how something is diagnosed and how you think you'd fit into those criteria given existing testing (if any) you shouldn't be self diagnosing something. however, you often can a good idea without some of the more conclusive tests

I'll use the diagnosis I'm currently on the path to as an example- myasthenia gravis. you cannot do blood tests or an EMG at home, but you can do the icepack test for ptosis and the single-breath counting test for lung function.

people tend to discount how much of a role symptoms play in autoimmune disease diagnosis and it drives me insane. lupus requires only one positive blood result (ANA at a titer at or above 1:80) and while there are other blood tests that can contribute to diagnosis you don't need...any of them? I actually disagree about lupus not being self diagnosable.

the final factor to me is testing that has already been done. some things that I'd look at as "implausible" self diagnoses become more plausible if a lot has already been ruled out.

while not a factor in ability to self diagnose I also think people should be less certain when sharing self diagnosed physical conditions vs neurodivergencies. people know their mind best but knowing your physical body is kind of a different story. that's not to say that people can't share, just that they shouldn't have the confidence of god doing it.

(all of this is general "you")

#physical disability #physically disabled #cripple punk #cripplepunk #chronic illness #chronically ill #self diagnosis #ask

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zeehasablog · 3 months ago

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"Her Mistress' Voice" - Animated Gramophone

I recently got the Secret Sanctuary kit (and pre-emptive warning, this pack is required for this object) and was happy to see they included a gramophone!! The gramophone included in the kit has an open lid, and when checking in Sims 4 Studio, I noticed it had "states" in the mesh section, so one could have different meshes for the different states. Strangely, EA has not taken advantage of this feature, so the gramophone stays open all the time; C'EST INJUSTE!

I had the mesh for this gramophone, and I was determined to get it to work similar to a real gramophone - with the lid shut when not in use, and open when in use.

It's not Victorian, but I personally have my own gramophone, from 1927, which has this feature - the lid is closed, and I put stuff on it; then when I want to use it, I open it up, give it a wind, and play me some 78s! On my gramophone, it has one set of doors at the front, and this opens to a big speaker - which is just a big horn at the back to amplify.

The particular model I have used today was very popular in the Edwardian era, and would have been used in the home probably right up to the 1940s and beyond. The doors actually just open to storage for one's records, so the sound of the music probably wasn't as loud as my own.

ANYWAY, I got my mesh, and separated the lid, and combined the record compartment with the EA version, and with my two meshes I had it sorted! Then I needed to do a little coding 🫠 @mizoreyukii kindly helped me to work out how to tell the game when to use both the meshes, and now I can present the final product!

There's four different swatches:

And to make it function, you just need to turn it on!

I call it animated, because there's no other really concise description; the only animation is the opening and closing of the lid - then it functions like a radio~

YOU NEED: "Secret Sanctuary" kit And, it is Off The Grid!

FINALLY, The Name: If you know "His Master's Voice", this is clearly a play on that 😂 without going into toooo much detail, this is already a long post... There was a dog called "Nipper" who followed his owner everywhere. After the owner's death, the dog heard his voice on their gramophone and was fascinated by it, and seemingly knew it was his owner. This inspired a painting called "His Master's Voice", which was subsequently acquired by "The Gramophone Company", and they changed their name and logo accordingly.

The Secret Sanctuary kit is supposed to relate to Bella Goth (the classic Sims character); so my story is pretty similar to the original - except it's a cat named "Pippa"! Thus "Her Mistress' Voice".

Download "Her Mistress' Voice" gramophone for free, from my Curseforge HERE!

Amusez-vous!

~~ Terms Of Use ~~

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dykealloy · 2 years ago

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Trafalgar Law and Faith

Pre-emptive warning this is going to be another LONG metapost/analysis. There’s a lot I could talk about here but for the sake of structure I’m going to split this into three sections, i.e. the main ‘faith transitions’ that Law has gone through in the narrative thus far: 1. Flevance (catalyst for loss of religious faith), 2. Corasan (martyr that figuratively and literally saves law by giving him something to live for, introducing the will of D.), and 3. Luffy (cementing faith in this new belief system and regaining trust in the goodness of humanity through the living embodiment of everything Corasan believed in).

Before we get into all that though, let’s establish that Christianity is a thing in one piece. Speedrunning through some visual examples that come to mind; the Flevance church and nun (holding a celtic cross - censored in the anime version), a nun literally praying to God right before Marineford, Vinsmoke Sora’s grave marked with a cross (is op Christianity a northern thing?), Usopp and Chopper having crucifixes and holy water whenever ghostly stuff is brought up, Kuma and his trusty bible, the religious symbols on Kikoku’s hilt (could instead be more a reference to the Red Cross/symbol of humanitarian and medical aid as a doctor) and especially in whatever Mihawk’s got going on (though this could just be a Japanese cultural thing with Christianity being a minority religion or Oda just finding that some of the iconography, y’know. looks cool). There are also many other references to other religions e.g. hinduism, shintoism, buddhism, etc. Whether op forms of religion are the same as the real-world ones is debatable, and yes, Law being canonically raised as a devout catholic schoolboy with all the religious trauma associated with that is comical, but let’s take it all unironically for a hot minute. For fun.

1. Flevance

Law’s birthplace (Flevance) is described as being, at one point, “a very wealthy country with an unearthly beauty about it, with pure white soil and plants, like some kind of snow kingdom in a fairy tale.” The country’s wealth came from the very bedrock it sits on — white lead, which could be used to make various high quality products like tableware, cosmetics, weapons etc. When the wider world heard about this everyone wanted a piece of Flevance (the World Government also getting involved with distribution), and very quickly white lead became a “bottomless well of money”. So, hooray. Law gets to grow up in a rich city in a big house with educated doctor parents and probably gets to go to private school on weekdays and festivals with his family on weekends. One problem. In their greed, the Government and royalty have been knowingly hiding the truth about this supposed goldmine from the beginning. White lead is a toxic poison. Mining it from the ground over the last century and putting it in so many everyday products has resulted in it accumulating in the citizens’ bodies and leading to amber lead sickness, shortening their life-span with each successive generation – with the children of Law’s generation fated to die out before they reach adulthood.

In the bible (especially in the old testament), God often inflicted these insanely disastrous events upon humanity, usually as some kind of punishment for their wrongdoings or as a test of their faith. Some events of which include (but are not limited to): famine, outbreaks of disease and natural disasters (e.g. hail, wildfire, earthquakes, floods). Historically, these stories played a key role in how humanity interpreted meaning from horrible disasters (e.g. assuming bubonic plague was sent as a punishment by god). Fire imagery is very common among these disasters as a representation for hell, which is clearly reflected in the destruction of Flevance.

Sometimes these disasters had sole survivors act as messengers for God. With that context, let’s put ourselves back in the shoes of a ten-year old Law. Raised religious, freshly traumatised from losing his home, his devout family, all the comforts of his life, and having the outside world completely abandon him, this kind of event is likely going to be processed as some form of divine punishment. Law stumbles through hell, finds all his dead classmates, and the last words of sister nun echo through to him here. Merciful and salvation are huge catholic buzzwords – promises of holy compassion, deliverance and hope – and all of it fire and smoke and riddled with bullet holes before him. A genocide funded, perpetuated and covered up by the same body Law was promised was there to save them. And the only reason Law hadn’t died with them was because he wanted to stay with his little sister Lami, who was on her deathbed, and his parents, who were themselves trying to help the afflicted citizens, Law’s own father (before he was shot and killed alongside his mother) begging for more doctors, fresh blood, anything the world can offer, and asking “Why doesn’t the government announce to everyone that white lead is not infectious?”

Oftentimes (and in the case of Law), when there’s a promise of heavenly intervention or some miracle that doesn’t follow through, it results in an ultimate feeling of betrayal and anger. Unfortunately a lot of Catholic teachings also use a lot of guilt, essentially teaching people that the bad things that happen to you are your fault and there needs to be some sort of penance (queue Law’s survivor’s guilt that carries on down the road). But also, if this was supposed to be some divine punishment, for what exactly? For the town being blinded by the incredible wealth they were sitting on? Being lied to? Continuing to extract their livelihood, ignorant of its dangers? Punishment for who? His parents? His innocent little sister? For ten year-old Law? These people who believed in God, who were good people? That’s fucking stupid. None of these people suffered and died for any reason at all — certainly not for a sacred one. God hadn’t saved a single one of them. Law had to crawl out of hell himself by sneaking over the border under a mound of corpses.

Given everything that happened here, Law has every reason to fall into nihilism, and you can see how his upbringing would’ve bred a lot of the feelings of guilt, anger and resentment that you still see in Law (which would suggest that though this is where he likely cuts ties with the religious/Catholic component of his faith, growing up with these teachings in his formative years would definitely influence underlying beliefs about how the world works, and how Law behaves and subconsciously processes information), but at the same time, there’s usually some form of redemption and changes to how these patterns of behaviour can be approached later down the line.

2. Corasan

Fresh off witnessing his whole world burning down around him, Law meets Corazon at the very bottom of this pit of self-destructive rage and unprocessed grief. Rosinante himself mentions to Sengoku that the hatred in Law at this time reminded him of his brother, but beyond the anger, harsh pessimism, vengefulness, I think you have to reach to find similarities between them. You can see some fragments of Doffy in Law down the line at times, with Law seeming to enjoy violence (especially against the navy, but given what they did to Flevance, it’s some well-deserved retribution for Law imo), but I’m not so sure it’s the cruelty so much as it is the high he gets off his own flavour of justice. Doctor’s Hippocratic oath maybe, but never once does Law like seeing others die (even at this point, he’s in tears next to a dead body, even though he’s the one holding the knife), and later on in Wano he makes it explicitly clear to Zoro that he’d rather see the mission fail than have any of them end up dead.

Little Law wanted to destroy the world and everything in it, but thinking rationally, what other choice did this kid have? He had no remaining family, was doomed to die before he hit puberty due to a terminal illness, was perceived as an infectious subhuman that most doctors would’ve sooner tried to exterminate than help. To Law, the world had turned its back on him – considering him a monster for simply surviving. He has all this hatred and pain boiling away with him with no tangible target to direct it towards. And this is the first clear cut rejection of faith that we see in Law. Any concept of a merciful God had just died. What God would allow this? Why is Law alive (a question that he repeats to himself throughout his life), why are these scumbags alive, why is the world going on spinning as if nothing has happened when his whole world had gone up in flames, why does anyone at all get to be here when everything I loved is gone? And it’s far easier to fall into a despondent nihilistic stupor than it is to work through any of that, and what’s the point in trying to process and move on from it, when there’s no hope for a future for Law anyway? When the only thing waiting ahead is more pain? What was this, if not a punishment? He’s supposed to be some messenger for God? How about fuck God, or whatever entity that exists that made him suffer this. Law’s not going to be a messenger for shit, thanks, he’d rather be their monster, he’d rather watch the world burn.

Corazon survives Law’s stabbing and doesn’t rat the little shit out (to Law’s confusion). It’s business as usual for another two years, then, one day Rosinante overhears his true name - Trafalgar “D” Water Law, and everything changes. On the back of his own beliefs, Rosinante dedicates himself to making sure Law a) lives and b) doesn’t become his brother. Law’s relatively short six month stint with Corasan forms the basis of Law’s new creed going forward, and all it took was a bit of kindness, love and humanity when the rest of the world had abandoned him. In the end Rosinante doesn’t save Law for the will of D. and the storm he’s predicted to bring in the future (as Law suspects), but he certainly believes in it, and the strength of Corasan’s conviction transfers right over to Law when he forces the ope ope fruit down the kid’s throat to heal him, tells Law he loves him, then sacrifices himself to set Law free.

Law clings to that love he was given, he takes all these fundamental teachings and ways of thinking in regards to faith that were drilled into him during his youth, rejects the religion element and applies just about everything else to Corasan. He holds onto the last shreds of what Corasan leaves him with. Corasan becomes his “benefactor” (he gave my my heart), his saviour, his martyr.

And the crazy thing is, Rosinante was never really this saint Law makes him out to be. Law hated the clutz when they first met (mostly on account of Corazon throwing him through a glass window down at least two stories and into a pile of scrap). Corazon initially showed nothing but contempt for his presence (to ward him and the other children away from the Donquixote family, but these are still extreme measures). And it wasn’t until after learning Law’s name that Rosinante dragged him kicking, crying and screaming from hospital to burning hospital (not very saintlike in of itself), even after Law begged him to stop. Rosinante became Law’s saviour partly because of his belief in the will of D., and probably due to some guilt being a Donquixote, but mostly because he has always had a bleeding heart and he pitied (and had very quickly come to love) this angry, sick, deeply lost little kid. All this to say that Law’s faith in Corasan – this saintlike figure Law upholds him as in the future and the lengths he’s willing to go to avenge him/fulfil Rosinante’s purpose reflects the strength of the absolute beliefs Law would’ve been raised with in regards to God.

Whether it be out of survivor’s guilt (just one more body to heap on top of the Flevance pile), his love for Corasan, or for the sake of taking vengeance on the man that took away the one good thing he’d been able to regain in his miserable life, Law adopts Corasan’s will, the will of D. (which in of itself seems divine in nature), incorporates it into his new belief system, actively takes on the role of the divine punisher/justiciar and dedicates his life to bringing down Doflamingo.

3. Luffy

Catholicism dictates that the entirety of someone’s beliefs should be dedicated to one true cause (that cause being God) and expects people to ride on that, letting it carry them through life, give them hope, purpose, etc. But a lot of former Catholics choose instead to find that through something else. Corasan ignited the spark in Law’s faith around the will of D., but it’s not until he meets Luffy that this really becomes something that feels tangible and real for Law.

When Law saved Luffy in Marineford (putting the heart crew in danger for a stranger he met once), he said he did so “on a whim”, but that seems incredibly ooc for Law — this man that pretty much planned out how the rest of his life would go after the dust of Corasan’s death settled and he came to terms with the fact he wasn’t going to die at age thirteen like he’d originally thought. Circling back to the concept of Law being a sole survivor/messenger for God, it is interesting that Law is the one to seek out Luffy (given that Luffy is usually always the one either being abandoned by people or recruiting his crewmates), and Law is ultimately the catalyst for pulling him towards Dressrosa and Wano. There must be a REASON that led to Law deciding Luffy to be the most viable option out of the Worst Generation for an alliance (beyond blind trust in an unhinged captain that just so happens to also bear the initial D, and Luffy being one of the few captains crazy enough to go along with what Law was cooking up).

Law undoubtedly would’ve kept a peripheral eye on Luffy for some time before officially meeting him due to him being a rising competitor pirate and another “D” (I imagine the news of his utterly insane exploits would’ve made good reading material, too). The first time Law lays eyes on Luffy in Sabaody though, he still blows all expectations out of the water — crashing headfirst into the crowd of a slave auction and immediately committing a felony against a member of the most powerful upper one percent.

The world nobles are at an “untouchable God” tier in terms of class standing and believe it’s only natural for them to be entitled to whatever and whoever they want in this world that’s beneath them – the same kind of self-aggrandizing false divinity that Law has a a lot of repressed rage towards and that the will of D. is fated to oppose, so this, understandably, is a highly compelling first encounter, but it’s really only an initiating factor for what ultimately draws Law to Luffy. From their very first meeting (and probably before then, in the news stories and rumours Law likely picked up on), it’s made abundantly clear that Luffy does what he wants without a second’s hesitation, no matter the consequences, simply because he feels it is the right thing to do. Some call this an iron will, Law would be more inclined to call it willful stupidity and trouble, but time after time Luffy somehow manages to pull off what Law would best describe as “miracles”. And Law believes the straw hats just might be the ones to drum up another one for him.

Luffy’s also got a lot of passing resemblances to Corasan going for him, e.g. inherently kind, compassionate liberators with big dumb hearts and wide goofy smiles in spite of everything they’ve been through, treating Law as nakama and saving his life despite his protests etc. All of which I’m sure Law hasn’t been completely unaffected by despite the high walls he puts up. And the more Law learned about Luffy the more it probably became clear that he is the antithesis to Doflamingo, i.e. what makes Luffy so goddamn dangerous and terrifying beyond his physical power is his ability to make friends with a simple kind of unconditional love that gets reciprocated enough so that these friends are willing to die for him.

Luffy agrees to the alliance, they successfully blow up Caesar’s base, and head off to Dressrosa. Now’s the time I should bring up that it’s taught in Catholicism that self sacrifice is the ultimate heavenly deed, and here Law is undoubtedly prepared to be a martyr for his cause. Law sends away his crew to Zou before Punk Hazard with the expectations that he’d never see them. He cultivates a fierce emotional detachment against Luffy’s willingness to bring him into the fold of the straw hats, and is resolute in that when the time comes, he will handle this himself, he will carry out Corasan’s will, and if he has to die for it, he will die with Corazon’s name plastered on his back. (Note here that Christianity is contradictory in that Law being this ready to die here is a sin, because revenge and suicide are highly discouraged, so you could say that by avenging and dying for his saviour, Law would be committing both the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate sin).

Things get very dicey for Law in Dressrosa, to put it lightly. Doflamingo reveals that he was a celestial dragon (linking back into the will of D. “enemy of the Gods” notion), puts Law on the backfoot and gives him a thorough beating before shooting Law with a couple dozen white lead bullets in front of Luffy (because even when he’s winning Doffy loves to be a cunt about it). By the time Doflamingo is cuffing Law to the heart seat, it’s all looking pretty grim, and it’s very apparent when Luffy shows up to save him, that he is ready to die.

Law here has given up. He spent years planning his revenge for Corasan, but he lost, and he has very little left in the tank (physically, emotionally, spiritually). But Luffy doesn’t listen. Luffy who doesn’t think, doesn’t care, who trampled all over Law’s carefully laid out plan from the get-go and who is willing to take on Doflamingo single handedly for the simple slight that he dared to harm Luffy’s friend Law. Law will never find peace in his own demise because Luffy doesn’t do peaceful. He does loud and unashamed and open with no rhyme or reason other than the excruciatingly simply fact that he loves people and he thinks the people he loves deserve to have good lives. Luffy chucks Law over his shoulder and drags an injured Law across the city despite his protests (sound familiar?) and in the process inspires the fighting spirit in Law again.

When Law confronts Doflamingo again with Luffy in tow, Law’s faith in Luffy confounds him. The last Doflamingo remembers of Law is this beautifully moldable dark pit of grief and rage who’d given up on believing, period – who wanted the world destroyed. Not so long ago, Law had been a candidate for Doflamingo’s next protégé. Now?

THIS is the action (grinning, staring down the barrel of a gun, flipping Doffy off as he tells him in not so many words that he may kill Law but he will never beat Luffy), Law’s unshakeable faith in the face of his own death is what has Doflamingo realising he will never regain control of Law again – is what incites Doflamingo to go from breaking Law down so he can build him back up again, to conceding defeat and outright killing him.

The trust that Luffy inspires in Law and the way he talks about Luffy (Luffy being this powerful, miracle-inducing liberator that Law can’t comprehend but follows anyway, Law laying down his hopes on him, weaponizing the will of D. to try and provoke fear from Doffy), is very reminiscent of the awe and faith talked about in scripture. Law discovers the feelings of comfort and hope that Catholicism was supposed to give him in Luffy, but Law’s belief in Luffy is a direct rejection of those teachings. Rejection by believing in a real life person as opposed to the divinity he was taught about. He’s also cementing his belief in the will of D., thus rejecting Doflamingo and all the people that embody the sort of “all powerful” divinity that he abhors (i.e. celestial dragons, Kaido, the Gorōsei/five elders) for the embodiment of hope and humanity.

When Law survives (again), he expresses he’d rather see Luffy beat Doflamingo with his own eyes or die with Luffy if he loses than leave. Then he watches, after all this talk of miracles, looking up in reverence as Luffy delivers, bright as the sun, haloed by the bars of a cage that’s haunted him for over a decade, Corasan’s words echoing at the back of his mind. God had never saved or freed Law, but Corasan was there for him, the heart crew was there, Luffy was there. And this is Law’s biggest, clearest rejection of religion – this newfound faith in humanity.

This faith in Luffy is put to the test again in Wano when Luffy is struck down by Kaido, but Law never truly stops believing that he’ll make a comeback. Even when the straw hats doubt whether he’s alive or not, something tells him Luffy’s not dead, and he holds onto that hope.

We also have the whole nika/joyboy backstory which really only reinforces all of this imagery/god-fearing looks of awe from Law and this idea of Luffy who is this perfect juxtaposition of empathetic and kind to incredibly fearsome fire and brimstone fighter. And regardless of whether you’re into the ship or not this is the impetus of Law’s relationship with Luffy for me, because here’s Luffy who has every right to have a chip on his shoulder and be downtrodden about all the injustices against him, here’s this little guy who against all odds, in the darkest of places, embodies light and hope and kindness and proves to Law that there will be hard times but there IS a happy ending at the end of the tunnel, despite it all. And everytime Luffy rises to the insurmountable challenge and wins, it just further cements that the will of D. is alive, that Corasan was right, that there's something redeemable in Law, a reason why he was worth saving, even if Law doesn’t understand it quite yet.

#merry christmas law religious trauma be upon ye #what’s an endearing idiot to a non-believer #long post #favourite character thesis statement. or something #ive been wanting to talk about this for a while but just been gathering my thoughts #will preface all this by saying I was not born or raised religious but the concept’s all very compelling from an outsider’s perspective #but I have had conversations about this to people like lesbianluffy who *were* raised catholic and relate to this experience #who I have to thank a lot for helping me wrap my head around this #this is a compilation of thoughts and conversations over the last two or so months #one piece #op #CJ's op watch-through #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #monkey d luffy #lawlu #trafalgar d water law #gear 5 luffy #sun god nika #wano spoilers #lulaw #op meta #op analysis #one piece analysis

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prettyboykatsuki-moved · 5 months ago

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even tho you dk him yet,, caleb 🙂‍↕️

here we go pre-emptive sex taste typology with mr siscon yan cyborg

also no direct incest but just assume its implied w him which is why i tag w psuedocest

disclaimer for all that with the exception of zayne i really only barely know these men. at least im only semi-confident (read: barely) in writing for them. that is part of the fun.

of them, i know the least about caleb aside from what ive absorbed via osmosis. and sylus

my opinion of this guys sexual preferences is very mixed fyi. i havent met him and have not spoiled the story for myself yet so . you know.

none of this is meant to be accurate DSJFHJKSD !!!!!!

to me he feels like a service top. if he were like normaler i would categorize him a very giving lover in general but he's got soooo many issues. still, i dont think this part of him really goes away KJDSHKJD. i just don't think he is kind about being one later on if u will ?

you're usually the one getting pleasured and doing the receiving but it's not out magnanimity but more like he is trying to prove a point to you by manipulating your body. id substantiate a guess that his desire from control comes form other fear of not wanting to lose u like most of the other men in the game lol

for kinks.........maybe sensory deprivation like blindfolding and corporal punishment but not so much it borders into complete sadism. a fan of spanking. also i do not go here so this is said rather unbiased but i think that man has a somewhat subconscious breeding kink perhaps.

though its less in how i think like. another character would have it and more in the effort to corrupt the idea of family you have between you. something something him cumming in you while you refer to him as gege etc. but he also just seems like he'd want to go bareback at all times even in a vanilla like... actual older brother context. again i do not rlly having a breeding kink. game just recognizes game.

he's in general obsessed with marking you in some manner or fashion for exactly the reason you think but i think just manifests w breeding yk.

hm. probably also likes being fully clothed while your naked. vulnerability, control, complete access etc.

i think he gets off on embarrassing you and probably has since you were a lot younger but it becomes very ugly later on lol. once again if he were normaler i think it'd just be him like...making you beg for it in bed but its much weirder now. enjoys putting his thumb in your mouth for a weird reason as well

likes inspection maybe. thats really just me guessing though. based on vibes.

i think for now this is all i have got. i dont know this man so until i learn his character motivations this as much as i can cook for you guys. if u can without spoiling tell me my accuracy rate that would v funny

#return to sender #psuedocest cw #a.caleb #ask to tag #incest cw

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ciphermitarai · 6 months ago

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I got an ask on the mark blog pertinent to this while I was writing this post so it’s a sign I guess.

My Disorganized Thoughts On Why Mark Berskii Acts The Way He Does

I think the reason why I got so attached to Mark immediately is because I saw a lot of myself in him. Mark acts really standoffish and uncomfortable, kind of snarky in general, in a way that indicates (clearly) that not only does he not trust his classmates, but he never did. This isn’t to say I know the real reasons why he acts the way he does, but it is to say that my insights might be of some form of value to other people.

From my personal perspective, his behavior mirrors the way I acted in high school quite a bit. It’s pretty easy to forget that Mark would be a first year college student, or in his last year of high school. (I’m also eighteen.) He’s obviously impacted by the game in a realistic way—I think his vulnerabilities are evident in places. On cue grabs beanie, pulls down over face.

But as for the reason why I think he acts this way from the very beginning, or at least what of I see of myself in him… I acted that way out of anxiety. I didn’t fit in very well with my peers (whaaat? Me? Nooo way!!!) so I became standoffish. I came from a pretty closed-off town, so I kind of hardened to my peers. They didn’t welcome me, they even made fun of me, so I became sort of… pre-emptively a bit of a jerk as a way of protecting myself. That mindset gets cyclical. It gets hard to admit that other people might actually want to be let into your world, genuinely, and aren’t making fun of you in some way. I’m also fairly often characterized as being standoffish and rude without intending to, partially because of this and partially because of autism, tone issues, my face, whatever.

Which brings me to

self esteem issues

This sort of behavior is heavily exacerbated by a feeling of low self-worth. I think the reason why Mark doesn’t want anyone to comment on his work isn’t particularly mysterious, especially while it’s live! Recently, I showed an animatic I made to some family friends who were essentially obligated to receive it well, and I couldn’t even look while it was happening. If I trust someone, it’s okay for me to show my work to them. But with people I don’t know or trust, I’d rather they just not say anything at all about it, especially if I’m not showing it out of my own will. it would be impossible for me to believe that they’re telling the truth, you know? It’s actually sort of upsetting!

Showing your work to fellow classmates, which Mark might already have a negative predisposition towards if he was received in a similar way, probably provokes such a reaction.

I can’t ever say for sure why Mark feels negatively about his own work, but what I can say is that when you do become heavily invested in a creative drive, when you create things that you personally don’t like, it can be shattering. Especially when you have a lot of effort put into it! If your art is an expression of “you”, then what is this?

For someone on the world stage, the disconnect is million fold. He’s known for things that he doesn’t identify with, that he doesn’t like, for whatever reason that may be. So when people tell him positive things about it… it not only doesn’t mean anything, but it feels like an insult. I hope that one day he can create something he is proud of.

oh Also

I think mark’s alligator symbolism is really interesting. He too is lying in wait in a sense. It’s totally possible that he does some fucked up shit in the future, but I feel like it would be out of desperation, or in other words it wouldn’t have much to do with his outward personality.

It’s important to remember that, again, he’s eighteen. He has some semblance of principles—at least, I think that’s why he’s so resistant to Damon after the whole Cara thing. I don’t think he’s secretly evil, or even overly hateful. Something that shouldn’t be underestimated, yes, and someone definitely capable of rising to the level of cruelty that the killing game necessitates, but he’s clearly only snarky to people who are loud and abrasive themselves (or, I guess, exceedingly stupid).

And I think that’s why there’s appeal in jettski, platonic or romantic—jett doesn’t care about the things that mark hates about himself. That’s obvious from the beginning. And I think that those attempts to get closer to him make mark, annoyed as he is, feel like someone does actually see worth in him, or want to go out of their way to talk to him. Maybe just a little bit.

Or maybe I’m just projecting. Who knows?

#mark berskii #project: eden's garden #what is bro waffling about #jettskii #p:eg #I Guess #what the hell sure

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tgmsunmontue · 7 months ago

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PROMPT FIVE - "Hallmark movie"

5th December 2024

“Ah! Shit! Ah ah ah! Cold! What the fuck Hangman!”

“Snow is meant to be cold Rooster…”

“I’m okay with the snow. Your hands however – keep them to yourself or put fucking gloves on.”

Jake smirks, wonders which low-hanging fruit he should go for, the gloving-up comment, or the fact that he knows Rooster likes Jake’s hands on him. From the pre-emptive eyeroll Rooster makes he can tell where Jake’s mind is going. He steps in close, amused when Rooster shoves his hands into his jacket pockets and pulls his jacket tight around his body, like that will somehow Jake stop from getting his hands back under his shirt. That’s fine, that’s not his aim this time around. He grabs Rooster’s face, knows his hands are probably cold on the skin of his neck, presses his lips against his and kisses him quickly, before pulling back.

“Kissing in the snow? Really? We’re not in a Hallmark movie Hangman…”

He hadn’t even noticed the thick flakes coming down.

“You’re right. If we were you’d be swooning and taking it as a romantic gesture.”

“You can make romantic gestures inside where it’s nice and warm. Come on, let’s go home.”

Jake bites his lip, just nods; watches as Rooster pulls a glove off one hand and then putting it on Jake’s bare hand, before linking their bare hands together. Rooster’s hand feels hot compared to his icy cold hand, but as warm finger squeeze his, the word home chimes like a bell in his head. It’s not home to either of them, not bare base accomodation, but he likes that Rooster called it that anyway.

#TopGunHolidays2024 #and today's little picture when you open the flap is... 😅#hangster #sereshaw

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bonefall · 10 months ago

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It's certainly a writing choice to make a book about a mother's grief while ignoring her relationship with her remaining daughter. Alas, Occam's razor strikes again. Do you think they're going to suddenly give Thriftear more relevance in Star? I'm looking forward to seeing how you flesh her out, I've always loved how much care you put into family dynamics no matter how small they are in the grander scheme of things.

I'm honestly quite cynical on this front. We probably won't get a lot of Thrifty in Star. I think what's going to happen to Canon!Thriftear from this point out is that she is going to lose any personality traits that really make her unique as she transitions into becoming Moonpaw's mother.

She will be a mild-mannered, kind woman who is neither too harsh or too permissive. Any personality flaws she retains will just be related to what the plot requires Moonpaw to feel negative about. If we're all right and Moonie is a weirdgirl, then Thriftear will be a Mom Who Just Doesn't Understand.

I hope I'm proven wrong, but call it a hunch based on the detail we DID get from Ivypool's Heart; "Compared to her interesting siblings who are too neat and too messy, Thriftear cleans her den in the most normal way." Goldilocks middle child.

In any case,

I find family dynamics to be one of the most important aspects of BB, so anything I adapt that involves Ivypool is gonna involve Thriftear too and that is a PROMISE.

In BB, Ivypool is the adopted child of Lionblaze and Cinderheart. It was only revealed in BB!ASC that she is the forbidden child of Jayfeather and Poppyfrost.

This means she is fiercely Firekin. Squilf has always been her grandmother-- BB!Lionblaze was adamant about that, when Brambleclaw disowned him.

Fernsong is an ex-kittypet, and the primary parent of the kittens. Their "Mi."

This fixed Moonpaw's parentage problems pre-emptively. Bayshine and Thriftear are NOT cousins in BB

HOWEVER I STILL SAID NO.

It's still a little up in the air, but I'm leaning HEAVILY towards Bayshine and FLIPCLAW being the parents of Moonpaw. Two very silly dads and their weird child.

If the dynamic between Moonpaw and her parents ends up being more distant or unhealthy though-- it'll probably be Thriftear and Plumstone.

BB!Thriftear has a VERY strong personality in my mind. She's Firekin and proud. Bristlefrost is gone and she is dedicated to carrying on her strength and ambition in her place.

Since they were young, they both planned on doing big things in the Clan. Thriftear is serious and a bit sarcastic, intense personality.

Plumstone has just as much raw ambition, but in a sort of laid-back, authoritative way.

As a couple, they're fantastic at "Good Cop/Bad Cop" plays. It doesn't matter how hard it looks like the two of them are fighting-- it's a trap!

They will ALWAYS end up turning a united front on you. They are terrifyingly good at working as a team.

So, bottom line is, I'm not giving this up to accommodate canon unless they end up giving me something REAL interesting. I'm very fond of the BB!Ivykin family!

#better bones au #Ivypool's Heart Spoilers #If anything BB!Bristlefrost was what canon considers Thriftear to be #Someone who was more in the middle of her siblings #But she was much closer in personality to Thrift than Flip. It's not even a contest.#Flip is very unique for a Firekin cat in BB

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dragonmuse · 2 years ago

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How to be a Dirtbag Fic Writer

I got to do some talking about writing today and I couldn’t stop thinking about it so here are my full thoughts on the matter of being a dirtbag fic writer.

Being the disorganized thoughts of someone two and a half decades into the beautiful mess that is writing fanfic (and a few non-fanfic things too).

What is a dirtbag fic writer?

I am talking about someone who is not cleaning up anything. We show up filthy, fresh out of rooting around in the garden of our imaginations. We probably smell a little from work. We will hand you our hard grown fruits, but we have not washed them and we carried them in the bottom upturned parts of our t-shirts. The fruit is a little bruised. It’s not cut up or put in a bowl yet. But we got it in the house! It’s here. Someone can eat it.

Why dirtbag it? Because the fruit gets in the house. If you’re hemming and hawing, if the idea you want to do seems to be big or you want it perfect and shiny. If you’re imagining a ten thousand step process, so you’re not taking the first step? Dirtbag it.

How do I dirtbag?

That’s the best part. You just write. Sit down. One word after the other. No outline, no plan, no destination. No thought of editing. Just word vomit. Every word is a good word. It’a word that wasn’t there before. Grammar sucks? Who cares. Can’t think of the perfect word? Fuck it, put in the simplest version of what you mean.

Write the idea that you love. The one thing you want to say. Has it been done 3000000 times? WHO CARES human history is long, every idea has been done, probably more than twice. YOU have never written it before. It’s your grubby potato that you clawed out of the ground and guess what someone can still make it into delicious french fries.

Now here’s the critical part. Write as much as you can squeeze out of your brain. One word in front of the other.

And then I challenge you this: at most, read it over once and then put it into the world. Just as it is. AND THIS IS IMPORTANT: DO IT WITHOUT APOLOGY OR CAVEAT. I challenge you, beautiful dirtbag to not pre-emptively apologize. Do not make your work lesser. THAT IS YOUR POTATO! It has eyes and roots and dirt clinging to it because that is what happens. We are dirtbagging it today. Hell really confused people at do #dirtbagwriter on it.

Dirtbag writes id, base, lizard brain. Dig in the fertile garden of your imagination. What is the story you tell yourself before you fall asleep? What’s your anxiety this week? Your fantasy? What is going well? What do you wish things looked like? Who is the feral imaginary character you’ve been crafting to take your frustrations and joys out on?

But, VEE, I wish to have an editor and an outline, use a cool software like scrivener instead of retching up onto a google doc and making it look NICE and PRETTY!

COOL! DO THAT THEN! IF YOU’RE ACTUALLY DOING IT! You should have a process! That’s cool and healthy and necessary for sustainable writing. But if you’re not writing because all of that seems too much? THEN DON’T.

Did you know fic is free? That we do this from love? From sheer desire? For the love of the game? If you have a process, and the words are flowing, amazing, I love that for you, you don’t need this essay. If you don’t, let us continue.

What does dirtbag writing look like?

It’s messy. It’s a little raw and tatty around the edges sometimes. It’s weird. It’s someone else’s first draft. Maybe it winds up being your first draft, Idek, that’s your business.

It’s jokes that make YOU laugh. It’s drama that would make YOU cry if you read it. You are your first commenter. You are your first audience (and possibly continuing pleasure! If you don’t go back and reread your own work sometimes, you might be missing out on one of your favorite authors cause you wrote it for you! Wait until you’re not so close to it. Years sometimes. Then hey, maybe some of this is pretty dang good actually.)

It has mistakes.

Dirtbags make mistakes, but dirtbags have published pieces. They have things other people can read out there.

What if I don’t get good feedback?

Look, the most likely outcome of any new, untried fic writer (and even established writers trying something new-ish) is that you get no feedback. That’s real. Silence. It’s eerie, it’s terrible, it sucks. I don’t want to pretend it doesn’t. But nothing is not negative. It’s a big fic-y ocean out there and we are all wee itty-bitty-sometimes-with-titty fishes.

You should still do it all over again. And again. And again. You get better at writing by writing. You just do. Nothing else replaces it. If your well is dry? Fill it with new things. Go do something new, read a new kind of book, watch a new film, (libraries have so much good shit, you don’t even have to spend money for so many things if you have a library card), just go for a walk in a new direction. Stimulate yourself. Got a cup of something hot and eavesdrop on conversations. Refill yourself with newness.

And hey, speaking of, do you leave comments? Because you get what you give. You can build relationships with people by commenting and that builds community and community means places to get feedback in the end. Comments are gold. They are all we are paid in. Tip your writers with ‘extra kudos’ or ‘this made me laugh’. And hey, when you go back for a re-read so you can tell them your favorite part? Ask yourself how they made that favorite part? What do you like about it? Tone? Metaphor? The structure? Reading teaches us how to write too!

BUT, okay. Sometimes. Sometimes there is actual bad feedback and people suck.

You know the best part about being a dirtbag? Unrepentant block, delete, goodbye. You don’t own anyone with a shitty opinion any of your precious time on this earth. You did it for free, you gave them your dirty, but still delicious fruit and they went ‘ew, this is a dirty strawberry, how could you not make a clean tomato?” Because you didn’t plant fucking tomatoes, did you? Don’t fight, don’t engage. Block. Delete. Goodbye.

If someone in person, looked you in the eye when you brought them a plate of food to share at a party and they said “Why didn’t you bring me MY favorite? This isn’t cooked well at all.” You would probably write up a Reddit AiTA question about it just to hear five thousand people say they were an asshole. Fic is no different

And hey, when you dirtbag it? You know you did. It’s not your most cleaned up perfect version. So who cares what they think? You might make it more shiny and polished next time! You might NOT.

Ok, but what if I don’t finish it?

Fuck it, post it anyway.

What if it’s bad?

Fuck it, post it anyway.

What if it doesn’t make sense?

That’s ART, baby. Fuck it, post it anyway.

What if what I want to write doesn’t work with current fandom norms?

Then someone out there probably needs it! And what the hell is this? The western canon? FUCK IT POST IT ANYWAY*

*Basic human decency is not a ‘fandom norm’. Don’t be racist, sexist, ableist, fat shaming, classist or shitty about anyone's identity on main, okay? Dirtbag writers are KIND first and foremost. Someone saying you are stepping into shit about their identity is not the same as unsolicited crappy feedback about pairings. In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut: "God damn it, you've got to be kind.”

You’re being very flippant about something that’s scary.

I know. I know I am. I know it can be scary. But no risk, no reward and hell, you aren’t using your goddamn legal name on the internet are you? (please for the love of fuck do not be using your legal name to write fic) You’ve got on a mask. You’re a superhero. With dirt on your cape.

That niche thing that you think no one cares about? Guaranteed you will find someone else in the world who wants it. Maybe they won’t find it right away. Maybe they will be too shy to comment or even hit a button. But your dirty potato will stick with them. They will make french fries in their head.

You have an audience. But they can’t find you if you have nothing out there.

Go forth. Make.

You have some errors in this essay.

PROBABLY CAUSE I DIRTBAGGED IT. But I picked this strawberry for you out of my brain, so I hope you run it under some cold water and find the good bits and have a nice snack. Or throw it away. Or use it to plant more strawberries (I know that’s not how strawberries work, metaphors break when stretched).

#dirtbagwriter

Go forth and MAKE

#writing #i'm not an expert #I just have been doing this a long time #and these are my feels #please feel free to throw away this strawberry

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vashtijoy · 1 year ago

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Hi! Pre-emptive sorry for the long ask- I don't know if you've answered this before but I was scrolling through your blog and in one of your posts you note that the brief bit we see of Akira's hometown has high rise buildings, which implies it's a city. I could've sworn there was in game dialogue calling him a country boy though or referencing him being from a rural area? Is there something in the Japanese text to suggest these are meant to be taken as jokes (I.E. protag is from a city, but it's not as big as Tokyo so he's playfully considered 'rural') or is this a case of the game devs simply not considering what buildings they had in the background of that scene?

Hello! First of all, I think it's insanely unlikely that the game devs just forgot Joker was meant to be from a shack on top of a mountain and accidentally put him in a city. Maybe they didn't have time to design a farm and shoved him in a random cityscape instead? Well, maybe. I would at least have pasted in a couple more trees.

So what do we know about this?

Sojiro calls Joker 田舎もん inakamon, short for 田舎者 inakamono—someone from the countryside; someone provincial. This is what's translated as "country boy", or "country bumpkin". Chihaya uses it about herself, and Chihaya I think is certainly meant to be very rural. The Adorable Woman and Rural Young Man in Shibuya Station use inaka a lot:

His name did not originally use inakamono or similar, by the way—he's the 上京してきた青年 joukyou shite kita seinen, "the young man who's moved to Tokyo". Note the moving-up kanji there, 上, lol—this is not a sideways move, it's a definite move up.

so what is the inaka?

In short, the inaka can be the remote countryside—but it can also just be your hometown, of any description. It can be legit anywhere that isn't Tokyo. Here's Tofugu:

My mouth was hanging open and I know I was being rude, but it was really hard to pull myself together. The woman I was speaking with was from one of the top Japanese Universities. She has had international relationships, traveled the world, and done work that most foreign anime fans would kill to see. Someone with her experiences, to me, should be open-minded about other cultures and lifestyles. Just the same, I can't help but to be bothered by what she said: "I feel like anything outside Tokyo's 23 wards is inaka." [...] Often, people usually just use what they read in the dictionary, but I learned fast that "countryside" in American English is much different than in Japanese English. For me, countryside means farms. Countryside is driving to see your closest neighbor, riding tractors for work and pleasure, and being able to immediately tell who's from your town just by looking at them. When I say this to Japanese people and ask them to explain inaka, the joke is always the same: "Inaka is anything outside of Tokyo." Osaka and Kyoto, for many, aren't inaka, but Sapporo, which is one of the few parts of the country where this legendary thing called "insulated housing" exists, is inaka. [...] So you might be wondering how "bad" it really is out here. Truthfully, I'm living in a city, at least by American standards. Great bus and train systems, tons of malls and movie theaters, some of the major stores people visit Tokyo to see, game centers, golfing… and a few rice paddies. Not many, but there are some. Imagine a fashionable mall, famous manga store, well-respected school with a strong baseball team, and major supermarket, all within walking distance, with maybe one field of rice. Honestly, the place is so city that I don't think I would willingly eat any rice that grew in that field. I swear, it's in front of a bus stop.

So, tl;dr: if you aren't in Tokyo, Osaka or Kyoto, you're probably in the inaka—at least to someone's mind. You can be somewhere that looks to us in every way like a city, and be in the inaka. And if you pick up sticks and move to Tokyo? Then you have a good chance of being jibed about being a "country boy".

so what is joker's inaka like?

[Joker] 田舎に帰りたい inaka ni kaeritai I miss the country... [lit. I want to go back to the inaka.] Ryuji ハハ、都会の洗礼ってか? haha, tokai no senrei tte ka? Hah. Not used to the big city yet, huh? [lit. Haha, so this is your first time in the city?]

We don't get a huge amount of detail in-game about Joker's home. Besides Sojiro's "country boy", Ryuji has a couple of comments. Here's another:

Ryuji あれ? お前ン家ってわりと田舎? are? omae n uchi tte wari to inaka? Wait a sec, your hometown isn't near the countryside, is it? [lit. isn't your place relatively countrified?] Ryuji いや、大自然でランニング練習とか気持ち良さそうだなーって。 iya, daishizen de ranningu renshuu to ka kimochi yasasou da naa tte I was just thinkin' it'd be great to run an' train somewhere out where it's all big, naturey open space. [lit. no, I thought it seemed like it'd feel great to train in the great outdoors and stuff.]

(I think something may be off here with that translation of daishizen, which seems to connote "the great outdoors", "a vast wilderness", etc, as well as just meaning "nature" (the sort you get out into) more generally". The word has been split up as if Ryuji was just saying "big nature" for some reason, like if you thought "the great outdoors" meant "the outdoors is great :D".)

But we can see from Ryuji's statement that Joker's home is wari to inaka, "relatively countrified", "kind of countrified"—it's more the country than Tokyo is, but it's probably not the ass end of nowhere, either. It's somewhere Ryuji pictures getting out into nature—but even if that's accurate and not just in Ryuji's city-boy head, that again doesn't connote "ass end of nowhere"; a lot of very built-up places are startlingly close to farmland or to nature, as with the putative rice field at the bus stop that we read about earlier.

the artbook picture

There is, of course, a picture of Joker's home in the artbook:

That doesn't scream "rural" to me—though it's also not the built-up area we see him in with Shido. It backs onto a cliff, it's very green. It's clearly a row of houses on a street, maybe in a fancy suburb on the edge of the city?

It's a nice house, at any rate. Joker moving into Sojiro's attic, with his clothes in a box, will have been a harsh step down.

Another detail from this image before we move on:

Look at this board. We can make out what it says. We can even, just possibly, make out a town name there...

日立自治会掲示板 hitachi jichikai keijiban Hitachi Neighbourhood Association noticeboard

自治会 jichikai—neighbourhood associations. As you'd expect, they tend to be organised at the very local level—so Hitachi is likely to be a small district within a larger city, rather than (say) the city of Hitachi in Ibaraki Prefecture.

his city has a name guys i can't believe it lmao

the coup de grace

But there's one question I think really puts the nail in the coffin here: WTF was Shido doing in the middle of nowhere?

It's totally plausible that Joker came from a remote farm in the country, or a tiny village in far northern Honshu. But what is there in that to attract Shido? Like... Shido seems kind of an indoor guy, y'know?

He goes where his business is. He goes where the money is. It's difficult for me to picture him going to random rural areas with nobody to schmooze, with what I'm sure he'd consider to be poor facilities and shitty hotels.

Even if he did stoop to visit somewhere like that, by the time he was on his off hours getting pissed (in both senses) and attacking women, wouldn't he have gone back to civilisation?—back to the city?

conclusion??

This place Joker is wandering after dark doesn't look like The Country. It looks quite built up. I'd say it's the centre of a regional city or large town—with those nice houses we just looked at set off in suburbs along its edge. Look at this place:

It really does look like a less cramped version of Yongen-jaya, down to the trees. I don't think they spent too long on this area, but I also don't think it's inaccurate.

By the way, that "Hometown Neighbourhood" was originally 実家近くの住宅地 jikka chikaku no juutakuchi—"residential area near home". So this is not where Joker lived with his parents; it's an area close by. Like he says, he's on his way home late.

Where was he? We never find out. He has what looks like a school bag, well before his nasty crime days. Maybe he was visiting a friend we never hear about again. Maybe he was at cram school. But he's gone to this built-up part of town to do something there.

My guess would be that he lived in some prefectural capital or other. That's why Shido is there. I'd also guess that it's one of the Kanto prefectures, since the further you go from Tokyo, the less likely it becomes that Joker would have been sent to Tokyo for his probation, whether Sojiro was a friend of a friend or not.

As ever, all of this is for information only, and if you want to do something else superior in every way, you definitely should. At the end of the day Joker's a silent protagonist player insert, who can be from absolutely anywhere and as gay as you like. Let a thousand Jokers bloom.

revision history

Click here for the latest version.

v1.0 (2024/01/17)—first posted.

#asks #persona 5 #p5 meta #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #look at that y'all a totally goro-free post #i have ascended

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bloody-bee-tea · 4 days ago

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Summer of Doom 2025 Day 16 - Let me have a look

This is one of the alternate prompts, cause I couldn't make the other one fit with this idea and I was set on writing this XD It's also the boy's day today, so happy birthday to the best purple son out there💜

Hitoshi stares at the red mark on his test with a sinking stomach. 89 points. It's not good, and definitely not good enough to justify his spot in the hero course, Hitoshi damn well knows that.

He drags a shaky hand over his face and then considers his options.

Aizawa is already tutoring him in combat training, so there's no way in hell Hitoshi could also ask for help with his studies. He's not in danger of failing—yet—but it's only a matter of time until his grades slip down to that and Hitoshi feels like throwing up just imagining Aizawa’s disappointed look.

So he needs another solution.

Hitoshi lets his eyes roam over his classmates and he lingers on Yaoyorozu for a bit. He knows that she's top of the class in almost every subject so it would be most beneficial to ask her for help but Hitoshi knows better than to do that.

Everyone is kind of wary around him, and the girls especially. Yaoyorozu would probably agree to tutor him because she's too nice to tell anyone no but Hitoshi doesn't want to put her into that kind of position, doesn't want to make her uncomfortable like that.

His next best option makes him sigh with pre-emptive exhaustion, because Bakugo is second only after Yaoyorozu and Hitoshi knows that Bakugo has no qualms telling him to fuck off should he not want to tutor him or should he be uncomfortable but Bakugo really isn't his first choice and should he even agree to tutor Hitoshi then it will be beyond exhausting.

Hitoshi eyes the red mark on his test again and with a sinking feeling in his gut he knows that he can't afford to be picky about this.

He clearly needs help to keep his grades up and Bakugo is his best—and only—option.

Hitoshi stuffs the test into his bag and makes his way over to Bakugo, who immediately eyes him warily.

"I need you to tutor me," Hitoshi presses out, his hands tightening on his bag strap and Bakugo's eyes narrow.

"You gonna turn that into a fucking question like a normal person, or are you just in the habit of going around demanding things of people?" Bakugo hisses out and Hitoshi grinds his teeth together.

He's aware of the eyes on them—half the class stayed behind to watch him with careful, distrusting eyes and Hitoshi supposes that's fair. Everyone knows about his quirk here after all and even though U.A. was supposed to be better than any other school before, people are just as afraid of him as they have always been.

"Well, eyebags?" Bakugo prompts him when Hitoshi takes a moment too long and Hitoshi focuses back on him.

"You want me to turn that into a question," he says, states, because he knows better than to outright ask any kind of question and Bakugo looks at him with something that could be considered condescension.

"If you want my help then yes," he decisively says and Hitoshi briefly looks around to see who stuck behind.

Almost the entire Baku-squad is still present and each and everyone of them is enough to lay Hitoshi out flat and jolt Bakugo out of his quirk and Hitoshi's mouth twists bitterly.

They should know by now that a well-placed shove would be enough to snap Bakugo out of whatever they expect him to do and so the fact that they all think they have to stay just hurts.

"Bakugo, would you please tutor me?" Hitoshi grits out, more careful than normal to keep even the smallest trace of his quirk out of his voice and Bakugo's eyes flash with satisfaction.

"Sure. Today after training, my room," he easily gives back and then makes eye-contact with Kirishima behind Hitoshi.

Hitoshi wonders who else will show up at Bakugo's room later today and his stomach rolls when he realises that he'll have to be supervised because no one can trust him in a one-on-one situation.

He flees, before anyone can make a comment about what just transpired—or gods forbid, before Bakugo can change his mind—but he still catches Kaminari's voice ring out in the classroom.

"Aw, man, that's just not fair," he whines out and Hitoshi presses his lips together.

It's more than obvious that he just ruined everyone's afternoon, but he really doesn't have to hear it like that. For a brief moment he debates simply calling it all off, suffering through studying on his own, but that's what he's been doing all this time and clearly it's getting him nowhere.

He needs tutoring and he's stubborn enough to stick to it, now.

It won't be fun, of that Hitoshi is absolutely certain, but nothing in his life has been, so this will hardly make a difference now.

~*~*~

Bakugo didn't tell him a concrete time but Hitoshi figures that after training means after they are cleaned up and put their things away, so barely ten minutes after class ends, he's knocking at Bakugo's door.

"Just get in here," Bakugo screams through the door and Hitoshi takes one last centring breath before he opens it.

Bakugo is hunched over his desk but apart from him, the room is empty, and Hitoshi freezes where he stands.

"I didn't mean to be the first," he gets out, hovering near the door and ready to bolt any second now and that urge doesn't get better when Bakugo's head swivels around to him.

Hitoshi feels a lot like a pinned bug under that glare and he doesn't dare to move.

"The hell are you on about? No one else is coming, so get in here, I'm not about to waste my time when I could be beating some knowledge into you," Bakugo tells him and for a moment, the words don't compute.

Then Bakugo's glare intensifies and Hitoshi starts to move out of pure self-preservation because he doesn't want to be exploded on the spot.

"Sorry," he mutters and drops his things on the floor next to Bakugo's desk. "I just assumed."

"And you assumed fucking wrong, troll doll. Now let me have a look at your test, so I can figure out where you need the help," he demands and holds out his hand.

Hitoshi wonders if he's going to incinerate it the moment he spots the mark on it and deems Hitoshi a lost cause but he didn't get this far in his life by cowering before anyone and so Hitoshi hands over the beloathed test.

Bakugo's eyes drop to Hitoshi's score and then they move back to his face, before they go back to the score and then Hitoshi's face again.

"Are you fucking with me?" Bakugo finally demands to know and Hitoshi grits his teeth and swallows his first, almost instinctual answer down because backtalk is never appreciated.

"No," is what he eventually gets out and Bakugo stares at him for a moment longer before he drops Hitoshi's test and then goes searching for something.

When he finally finds it, he shoves a paper in Hitoshi's hands and for a moment Hitoshi is confused to see Bakugo's test, before he notices the score.

88 points.

"What the hell would you need tutoring for with a score like that?" Bakugo wants to know and Hitoshi shakes his head because this can't be.

He's not good enough, so how the hell did he score better than Bakugo?

"Did you not listen when Aizawa handed back those tests? Your score is the highest."

"What?" Hitoshi breathes out, for a moment forgetting that he's not supposed to ask questions, especially not when he's alone with someone but Bakugo doesn't even hesitate to answer him.

"What the hell is going on with you, troll doll? Why would you think you need tutoring at all? From what I can tell, you're not behind in anything."

"But I am," Hitoshi argues, because he is.

He got a late start with everything, physical training, quirk training, studying. He isn't on par with any of his peers and he doesn't know how to explain that to Bakugo.

Bakugo grumbles something under his breath before he types something into his laptop and then turns it around to Hitoshi.

"You're third in every fucking subject, except English and Quirk Law, where you're ranked first." There's a brief pause before Bakugo goes on. "Makes sense, with your quirk, actually, but like. What the fuck? You don't need any help."

"I'm—what?" Hitoshi gets out because he never thought to check their rankings like that—didn't even know he could—and to hear that he's actually doing decent in his classes is kind of confusing.

"Talk," Bakugo demands. "What's going on?"

Hitoshi sinks to the floor right where he stands and Bakugo only watches him.

"I have to be the best," Hitoshi finally whispers out and buries a hand in his hair. "If not, I'm—"

"You're what?" Bakugo prompts when Hitoshi falls silent.

"I'm not good enough for the hero course," Hitoshi finally admits. "I'm here on Aizawa’s goodwill alone and what do I do when I disappoint him and he kicks me out? I have to be the best to show him that I'm taking this seriously, that I can do this!"

"You're an idiot is what you are," Bakugo tells him without hesitation. "You're not here on Aizawa's goodwill. You're here because you have potential and because you have the drive to strife to be better. Aizawa doesn't suffer idiots and he doesn't suffer people who think they deserve to be anywhere."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that Aizawa would have never bothered with you if he thought you didn't have what it takes to be a hero. And he certainly wouldn't shy away from kicking you out again if you grew complacent but you're not. There are seventeen other students who he would kick out before he gets to you, going by our grades."

"But I'm not. I'm not good enough and soon everyone will notice and then—"

"Shut the fuck up," Bakugo interrupts him and his eyes are blazing with fire. "You think you're not good enough when you won against half the class during training today? Sometimes even without your quirk? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I just—I have to be better," Hitoshi chokes out because he has to be. "I can't afford to fall behind, this is the only thing I have and when Aizawa decides to take it all away again, I'll have nothing!"

"You don't actually have a chip on your shoulder, do you?" Bakugo almost mildly asks after a moment and Hitoshi blinks at him.

"Huh?"

"We all thought you don't want to talk to us because you think you're better than us somehow, for clawing your way into the hero course, for having Aizawa personally train you, but that's not it at all, is it?"

"I know better than to talk to people," Hitoshi courtly says, because he learned his place all the way back in grade school.

"Clearly." Bakugo rests his head on his hand, his eyes still almost searchingly fixed on Hitoshi. "You have perfect control of your quirk."

"How would you know what kind of control I have," Hitoshi mutters, because it doesn't matter that he does.

No one ever believes him.

"Because otherwise Aizawa would have warned us and told us how to easily break out of your quirk, but he didn't. So your control must be good."

Hitoshi shrugs awkwardly because, yeah, it's damn good but what does it matter if he says that?

"He would never tolerate it if I didn't have control of my quirk," Hitoshi finally says when Bakugo stays quiet and he can't wrap his head around how this entire study session got so derailed.

"You mean like he doesn't tolerate the fact that Pikachu regularly shocks people when he gets caught off guard? Like he doesn't tolerate that Aoyama gets sick when he uses his quirk too much? Like he doesn't tolerate me exploding everything when I'm upset?"

Hitoshi wants to say something to that but Bakugo silences him with a glare.

"He tolerates that bullshit because we're trying. And no one is trying harder than you, troll doll, so I don't know why you'd ever fear that he'd simply kick you out."

"He didn't hold back to kick out Mineta. The same can happen to me any time."

"Yeah? Are you an unapologetic pervert who preys on the girls?"

"What?" Hitoshi breathes out because what the fuck?

"Mineta didn't get kicked for his lack of potential. He got kicked because he's a fucking disgusting human piece of garbage. Are you the same?"

"Fuck no," Hitoshi immediately says because he would never but maybe that does explain some things then. "Is that why everyone is so on edge around me? You expect me to be the same?"

"On edge around you?" Bakugo repeats and he sounds honestly confused. "We're not on edge around you, what the hell are you on about?"

"The girls are and just today—half the class stayed behind when I talked to you to check what I was doing! Hell, Kaminari was like—"

"You really are goddamn fucking stupid," Bakugo cuts him off. "Maybe I should get Aizawa to throw you out, what the hell, eyebags? Half the class stayed behind because today was the first time you voluntarily talked to any of us. Most of the girls are wary around you because you act as if you're going to bite off their heads for a friendly smile. And Pikachu said what he said today because he bet that he would wear you down first and instead you came to me."

Hitoshi opens and closes his mouth a few times because this is so far from anything he imagined that he doesn't even know what to say to this.

"The extras have goddamn bets going on who manages to befriend you first. No one's scared of you. You're just new and no one knows you yet."

Bakugo clearly debates something before he fixes Hitoshi with his most no-nonsense glare.

"What I say next stays in this room and you'll never breathe a word of it to anyone, clear?"

"Crystal," Hitoshi weakly answers, mind still reeling with everything Bakugo already said to him.

"I'm not looking forward to fighting you, cause you're a goddamn scary opponent. You don't have to get close to me because of the fucking capture weapon and we all know I'm bound to respond to you when you accurately hit my buttons. I'm not sure if I could win against you and that pisses me off, just like having to go against Deku pisses me off. That’s how good you are."

"Wow," Hitoshi breathes out because how is this even his life?

"Not a word," Bakugo reminds him and Hitoshi's mouth obediently closes again. "So, any other insecurities we have to beat out of you?" Bakugo then asks and Hitoshi snorts, amused despite himself.

"A few, but I don't enjoy a good beating, so sorry," he almost breezily gives back and wonders if this could be real.

If this could be his life; the hero course and friends and people who are not afraid of him because of his quirk.

"Just as well, wait until the rest get their hands on you, they'll make sure you understand they like you."

"Speaking from experience, huh?" Hitoshi asks because it sure as shit sounds like it.

"Fuck off," Bakugo grumbles but there's no heat in his voice and everyone knows that Bakugo loves the Baku-squad, despite what he usually yells.

"I guess—it would be nice," Hitoshi admits, deciding to fuck it and putting himself out there, even the tiniest bit, because maybe this class will be different after all.

Bakugo already has surprised him in more ways than one.

"You'll regret that," Bakugo says as he reaches for his phone and a moment later there's a commotion in the hallway. "Good luck."

Hitoshi has just enough time to frown before the door to Bakugo's room flies open and several people spill into the room.

"Traitor," Hitoshi manages to get out before everyone talks over each other, clearly nervous but now that Hitoshi knows that it's because they don't know him, it doesn't feel as bad as before and he even manages to give them a small wave.

It causes a moment of surprised silence and then everyone is almost yelling and Hitoshi wonders what the fuck he got himself into with the Baku-squad, but when everyone settles around him and Bakugo surveys them as if he's the benevolent, reigning king, he can't deny that maybe this feels nice.

Maybe it doesn't all have to be bad for once in Hitoshi's life.

#bt writes #summer of doom 2025 #june of doom 2025 #mha #bnha #shinsou hitoshi #bakugo katsuki #hurt/comfort #misunderstandings #insecurity #bakugo is a good friend

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abattre · 6 months ago

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Hi <3 can you rate every Sasuke drip out of 10?

Yes !! Dream ask honestly, this was so fun for me <3

I'm so fond of the OG series outfit, it's genuinely one of my favourite manga/anime looks ever. Like it's simple,, but it's iconic and it suits Sasuke really well. Props to Kishimoto for making such a basic design absolutely top tier. Also I love the armbands, I think they're so snazzy - 10/10

Listen,,, the romper was a historic moment truly, but objectively,, it's not my favourite. I think the only reason it doesn't look completely ridiculous is that it's Sasuke wearing it so,, I suppose the Sasuke factor cancels the ugliness out and it just ends up being cute. In any case, I do like the black arm/leg wraps, they pull the outfit together well - 7/10

This is my favourite Shippuden outfit probably,,, it looks so cool and I love the Hebi era. Also I think it's really funny that the shirt wasn't even a fashion statement,, Sasuke was just being practical about his Curse Mark form ripping his clothes and landed on this,, phenomenal stuff. Love the rope belt and the skirt-wrap too like,,, I don't care if it was Orochimaru's influence, it's a crime that Sasuke stopped wearing it. Truly, I think that foretold Boruto's failure - 10000000/10

I love this outfit so much too omg. I guess I'm biased because it's the Itachi/Sasuke fight outfit but whatever. Also something to be said about how Sasuke always wears black when he confronts Itachi to fight,, symbolic pre-emptive mourning,, if you will. But anyway, I like how the shirt looks with the bandages and I love cloaks in any form - 10/10

I've said this somewhere before but I find it so silly that Taka are the only ones with special-edition hooded Akatsuki coats. For the only team that wasn't putting up with the rain in Ame. Like that's so funny why didn't they update their uniforms earlier. Anyway, the colour scheme is kinda losing me, but it's still a top tier Sasuke look and I like how the shirt peaks through - 9/10

This is The Sasuke Outfit to me. Truly only less iconic than the OG series design. I really like the zip-up, and him going back to the collar design his clan wore,,, it's sweet. I like that he wears more purple too, I've always found it interesting that Sasuke's more inclined to wearing lighter colours in comparison to the rest of his family - 10/10

#sasuke doesn't have any bad looks so this was mostly just me gushing really #kishimoto truly did so well with the designs though #i might criticise his writing but i love his artwork to death #sasuke uchiha #ask

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nothorses · 1 year ago

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What is your opinion on terf blocklists, where every one on there at the time had clear and intentional radfem beliefs pushing shitty ideas about trans people and easily identifiable as to what exactly they believe via what they say and circulate and who they constantly reblog shitty things about trans people from?

I promise this is a genuine good faith question; I want to understand if the thing I've been taught be others to do with the purported intention of eliminating platforms for terfs to protect ourselves and others is actually helpful or if that also has far reaching consequences I hadn't considered before. I'm trying to think about it but struggling with the idea I got taught to do them/follow them (blocklists) for being to identify correctly and block, not harass. But do the harms of encouraging that approach actually outweigh the benefits and that doesn't change even if the blocklist is for actual bigots?

Again, genuine question. Trying to learn.

I think the problem here is less in how a blocklist is constructed; it's not hard to imagine that a list can be made under strict enough criteria, with enough careful vetting, to contain only Genuinely Bad People- or at least people who would not object to being placed in the category of that list. It's also not hard to come up with categories of people that feel morally reprehensible enough, and unattached from any marginalized identity enough, to be "safe" to target: it would be absurd to argue against a "Nazi blocklist" that contains only self-proclaimed Nazis.

The problem also isn't really in how blocklists are intended to be used; it's pretty fair that someone might want a list of people to block pre-emptively in order to avoid harassment, particularly when that harassment is bigoted. It's not hard to imagine that someone making such a list is doing so with the intent that it only be used for blocking, and that they might even make an effort to say as much in the post. And at that point, is it really their fault if someone goes against their clearly-stated wishes?

The problem is that a blocklist is, by fundamental design, "free research". It's put forth entirely so other people do not have to do their own research, which means the entire premise discourages people from doing that research.

You aren't offering up a list of people that others should go look into and form their own opinion about, you're offering up a list of people you already did the research on so people can copy/paste and be done with it. It would be counterproductive- and frankly silly- to post a blocklist with some "but make sure to double check these yourself!" disclaimer, because like, that's not the point of the list. Nobody is going to do that. Even if they did, they're looking into these people under the assumption that there is something to find; everything is going to look suspicious in a way it never would have without that framing.

The question isn't whether a blocklist can be made with good intentions and due diligence; the question is whether it can be made with ill intent or sloppy execution, whether anyone can tell the difference, how likely they are to actually check, what you're doing with that list, and what impact your choices have.

If I make a list, the message I send is, "you can trust me. I did the research, I did it right, and this is a Good Blocklist. If you trust me, you should trust this list."

If I reblog a blocklist, the message I send is, "I trust this list. I may have even checked it myself. This is a Good Blocklist. If you trust me, you should trust this list."

The majority of the people who follow me probably believe they can trust me to some extent; oftentimes, people just trust that whatever is on their dashboard is trustworthy, because someone they follow put it there. Those are their friends, and their friends are trustworthy!

This should make you nervous. You should not be comfortable with this. People make mistakes all the time, and even if they did do the research (it's so much more likely that they did not, especially if they're not the original creator), someone else's standards of what kind of person "deserves" to be on a list like that are very likely different from your's. Are you going to double check every single name on that list yourself?

Well, if the accusation is bad enough, probably not. Especially if the accusation is something like "Nazi" or "TERF". And if you do start checking, how likely are you to check every single name? If the first 3 or 5 seem to check out, will you bother with the other 50 on the list?

What if OP hid someone in that list who doesn't belong there; someone they just have a personal grudge against? What if OP defines "TERF" to mean "anyone I assume doesn't think trans women are the most oppressed", and after the first 15 actual TERFs, the list is just a bunch of transmascs- many of whom don't even disagree with OP in the first place? What if they define "TERF" to include anyone who has ever been a TERF, and one of the people on that list is a trans person that has been rumored- without any foundation or grain of truth whatsoever- to have once been a TERF?

Will you know? Will you check? Even if someone you trust reblogs it? Even if someone you trust made it?

A blocklist may not have the same kind of obviously punitive intent as a callout post does, but it's a tool from the same toolbox. People think callout posts are about "safety", too. Lots of people also think that about the criminal justice system, about prisons, about the death penalty.

The question is not whether that could be true, or whether there could be a world in which justice is administered correctly with these tools. The question is whether it could fail, and who it hurts when it does.

Who can abuse this system? How easy is it to do so? Who is most likely to be hurt; is it the intended target, or people who are already disempowered by our systems and society?

What is the best way to go about this?

Even done correctly, a blocklist is not the most effective tool here: people can remake their blogs, change urls, and often have sockpuppets ready to go anyway. The list is rendered useless and inert as soon as enough people change their strategies to evade it. A more effective tool is education; teaching people how to recognize a TERF, or TERF ideology, on their own. Teaching them why those ideas are problematic. Encouraging them to block and disengage, and teaching them why engaging is harmful and counterproductive. Talking about de-radicalization, cult recruitment and radicalization tactics, and how to fight this epidemic.

Telling people what to think does not solve the problem, but teaching them how to be critical might.

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saywhatjessie · 7 months ago

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I'm being super mature, you big, dumb, hairy baby twat

Advent Calendar Day 4! (prompts by @raven-cincaide-words) Today’s prompts: Snowball Fight | Age Gap | Building Bridges Fandom: Ted Lasso - Pairing: RoyJamie .9k[Ao3]

“I really hoped Phoebe spending so much time with me in her formative years would mean she’d be more of a reclusive weirdo,” Roy grumbled, hands shoved deep in his pockets. “But no, of course not, she’s a fucking social butterfly so I have to come out and do shit like this.”

Jamie snorted. “You don’t want her to be a weirdo recluse like you. You’re happy she’s friendly and experiencing normal social development.”

“I’d love it more if I could be left out of it. I’m already socially developed.”

“Under-developed.”

“But no, I’ve got to deal with this shit.”

Jamie tilted his head, innocently. “What do you mean?”

A snowball collided with the side of Roy’s head.

Jamie lept away with a shriek as Roy started swearing, shaking his head violently to try and dislodge the snow.

“Nice one, Phoebe!” Ted called, clapping his hands. Roy turned murderous eyes on him. Ted held up his hands in acknowledgement and turned to Phoebe.“But we should make a rule for no pre-emptive strikes. We haven’t called go!”

“And we don’t have teams!” Henry said, coming up next to his dad, his breath fogging in front of him. “We gotta split into teams! Kids versus grown ups!”

Ted put a hand on Henry’s hair and ruffled it. “Not sure we have enough kids for that, bud.”

“Jamie’s on our team,” Phoebe said, climbing up Jamie. Roy watched him casually reach a hand down and pull her up more fully. She was probably getting too big for him to hold her on his hip like that but neither of them cared. “Jamie’s almost a kid.”

Jamie pulled a face. “Ain’t been a kid in a while, Phoebes.”

“But none of them are kids,” Phoebe reasoned, gesturing to the rest of the assembled adults. “And you’re not grown ups like them.”

Roy smirked. He heard Keeley and Rebecca snickering behind him.

Jamie looked offended until he also looked at the assembled adults. There was Roy and Jamie, obviously, who had brought Phoebe to this little impromptu Greyhounds Kids Snow Playdate. Ted and Trent had each brought their kids, Rebecca had brought her big Dutch boyfriend’s daughter, Jelka, Higgins had brought the two of his boys who would still enjoy this kind of thing and even Nate had shown up with his niece.

This left Jamie as not only the singular 20-something but also the only one who played a game for a living. He was absolutely the most kid out of all of them.

“Yeah, all right, fair play,” Jamie agreed, heaving Phoebe off his hip. “I’ll help even the score,” he grinned, sticking his tongue out at the assembled grown-ups. “Prepare to eat snow, geezers.”

“Oh, I’m not playing,” Rebecca said, holding her hands up in surrender. “No, Keeley can play for me.”

“But Mama Bex!” Jelka said, running up and grabbing her waist. “Alsjeblieft! We should have fun together!”

“Yeah, come on, Boss, let your hair down!”

Roy watched as Rebecca looked desperately from her pleading new daughter to Higgins to Keeley, trying to find someone to back her up. When her eyes landed on him, beseeching, he just shrugged. “I’ve got a shit knee and I’m still fucking playing,” he told her, jamming at finger at Jamie. “Not gonna let that fuck outdo me.”

“You’re toast, Grandad!”

“And that’s £3, Uncle Roy.”

Roy rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow at Rebecca.

She sighed, her hand smoothing over Jelka’s hair, smiling down at her. “Oh, all right. I suppose it will be a good… team bonding activity? Building bridges?”

“Not as good as a pillow fight but much easier to organize.” Ted grinned. “Everybody know the rules?”

The rules were there were no rules. Or, rather, don’t actively maim a child, otherwise, just chuck as much frozen shit at the other team as you can.

Roy immediately lost track of the rest of his team because once they called Go, he was immediately on Jamie.

It looked like the only purpose Jamie was gonna serve on the kids’ team was neutralizing Roy. Ted and Higgins were giving the kids as well as they got, but Roy was coming after Jamie like a demon . It very quickly became a nice wholesome snowball fight on one side and Roy and Jamie’s battle to the death on the other.

Roy had ice burn and Jamie’s nose was bleeding.

They called it a draw.

By the time Roy and Jamie were done, the rest of their crew were already huddled in the nearest cafe drinking hot chocolate. Roy let himself collapse against a tree and catch his breath before joining them. Jamie collapsed in the snow next to him.

“You’re right mad,” Jamie told him, breath coming out in gasping clouds. HIs nose had stopped bleeding. Thanks to snow. “We should have been on the same team.”

Roy grunted, shoving Jamie away enough so he could throw his arm around him. “Thought I was grandad and you were just an ickle baby?”

“I am baby,” Jamie said, settling into Roy’s side. “And you’re a fucking cradle robber, ain’t you?”

Roy hummed, rubbing his hand up and down Jamie’s bicep. “Does baby want hot chocolate?”

“Ooh! Yes please.”

#Ted Lasso #RoyJamie #dumb fic #oops I wrote a thing #Jessie writes RoyJamie fic #Advent calendar 2024

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