#probably with my late and limited responses to their paragraphs

[dreastmilk]

I feel like one of my friendships isn't equal

[shayshaybiscuit25]

Goodness me, my original ask started some mess I see. 😅

Shay this is a bit long, but I think I make decent points & dropped some truth bombs that everyone can agree with regardless of how they feel. Thank you all for reading and ……..here we go……… 🫣😮‍💨

Let’s begin……..for those who really believe Chris is racist or ain’t shit for associating with these fools……why be here at all?

As mentioned before, many of us believe this is PR and understand we do NOT know details. On the outside looking in it’s very easy to go “omg why didn’t he just end this, he’s just like them”, yet we also understand Hollywoood is a business, yes?

We understand complex things go on behind the scenes that look so simplistic and easy to us from our limited perspective.

Yes, I understand things look awful, but I need people to understand we don’t know what the hell is truly going on and I say that because it’s clear as day that something is off.

Look if Chris were selling this and acting like nothing was wrong then everyone would be losing their minds, and she would have ammo, but enough stuff has happened where you can see he doesn’t like her, he’s performing and that’s probably why he’s acting has switched up (having to horribly act in real life is affecting his actual craft) there are numerous holes in the cheese 🧀 of course the question stems…..then why marry the girl especially knowing she has racist friends…….please go back and refer to the previous and third red paragraphs.

We might not know details but we know Chris isn’t comfortable in this arrangement, of course many reading will roll their eyes at this statement, okay fair. 🙄

I’ll do you all one better, karma is real and for those that aren’t aware. Yesterday Justin (the wife’s soulmate) stood up for one of his racist friends in a post. He has some female friend on a Big Brother type show in Europe and the girl has been recorded on camera doing the damn Nazi Salute and people are pissed…..Justin’s dumbass makes a post basically saying the girl (his friend) doing the Nazi salute is “misunderstood” and a good person or some crap……. The entire time I’m like…..let me sit back and see how this plays out…..and if it gets tied back to Evans, I doubt it but let’s see. 👀 🧋 (this emoji represents me sipping my boba “tea”) 🤭

Chris does need to be called out and if this shitshow goes public public to the point the general population learns what fans know and it becomes a big deal, you’d better believe we’d end up getting a BUA and then some within mere hours or days (remember his response to the bomb pic)……do i believe any of that will happen…..nope. And if that went down like that, I’d question his ass even more.

No one here has issue with people calling Chris out, it’s those who act like they know more than they do, who take their own opinions as facts and are 100% sure he’s racist and calling him pedo or whatever else that has me like……well damn if you think that’s true and hate him that much…….then leave. I would not waste my time on a person I truly thought was evil and vile.

See, I care about this man and as time goes by we see truth and some of us see what we want while ignoring the rest, apply that as you will, come next month, I think people will finally end up determining their final thoughts on things and if it ends with “fuck Chris Evans”, then so be it. He made his bed and now he’s laying in it.

Eventually we’ll all find out the truth if it’s real or if this is all bs and the pr eventually ends…..well just know they’ve parted ways and many will still claim it was real.

I say don’t get overly invested in this emotionally, but TOO LATE! 😬 This could be the situation Chris needs to be and do better and finally own his awful choices or to take and not run from accountability (remember how we’d always use to get Dodger pics when he did something stupid publicly) or it could be a situation he’s initiated that went out of control and he has to FINALLY reap the consequences of his actions/inactions. I don’t know what is going to happen next, but if him and Mrs. Shower scrubber do anything else other than breakup next month, it’s a wrap on my end.

Yeah I think it’s pr, but I have limits and he’s on his 73892929 strike. Keeping it honest, most of us should have left once he claimed to be “married”, yet we’re still here, so yeah can’t no one point any fingers. We’re all still here hoping something ends up making sense and to hope our fav actor really isn’t out here playing in our faces.

It’s very easy to go well Chris is this and that due to this situation, but once one starts remembering in detail everything that’s happened, part of you goes…….something is 110% off here. @anneslibrary is a great reference because it’s so easy to forget how much things don’t make sense and that blog helps people see the big picture and go……yeah…..I’m not falling for this bs. 😂 So to sum it up, yes many of us are pissed at Chris, but his saving grace is that there are so many holes in this mess that it’s easy to jump and attack him without knowing details and so we’re hoping more details arise to the point we can go……yeah this 100% is fake and was never real, he got looped in some mess and only discovered things once the fandom did but it was too late and I’m glad it’s finally over. Okay….yes I’m reaching like crazy, but you’re still here reading my long as diary entry, right. 😉 For me September 2024 will be thee month I decide if I’ll permanently walk away. If they do any more crap, I’m done, point blank.

Enough is enough. I do understand those pissed and wondering why we’re still here…..I’ve been a fan of this man for years and it’s not so easy to walk away, call it excuses, but I just don’t think this situation is a grand total of who he is but if I’m proven wrong then it is what it is, but I don’t think I’m wrong.

Chris needs to take accountability and ending this bs would be the first step and then we can all judge in grand detail how he handles the aftermath of shit, would he give clues to show it wasn’t real, will he do a grand gesture that is a lowkey apology to the fandom…..doubt it, but I refuse to believe this mess is legit, unless he’s proven with legit detail (other than he publicly claims to be married, yet there’s no evidence he’s actually gotten married other then a oversized ring and orchestrated bs) that he’s just a shitty racist husband who can’t keep his eyes to himself and really married her and if so then I’ll GLADLY FINALLY move on with my life. Noted. And yes those snarky few of you still reading, I’m in the denial phase of the grieving process. 😂

Either way ya look at it Chris doesn’t get of Scotch free and even if this does end next month……too much damage has been done. Part of me is here because I’m watching a train that already crashed multiple times and I’m wondering if it’s going to keep going with limited damage or will it eventually blow up into pieces.

I hope I was able to make you guys laugh, piss you off and in the end make you go, yep you summed up my multiple thoughts. 🤗🫠 or you’ve probably read all of this and went, this bitch is crazy, I’ll take it because you still sat here and read to the end so,….. Hi crazy! 😝

I’m done now. 😆 thanks!

Oh Sweetheart this was beautiful and longggggggggggggggg but so beautiful.

Thank you.

[potstism]

asking the disabled community: what should i say or tell to my cardiologist? [LONG POST; SEEKING ADVICE]

reposting from my own reddit account on the r/POTS sub yesterday in order to achieve more reach!

hello to all. i hope you had a wonderful holiday season. my christmas day was less than perfect because i felt nauseous and had to spend a few hours lying down, but it wasn't the worst i've ever experienced to the point of absolute misery and it was worth the gifts i got that i'd been wanting (or at least i want to believe so).

i've discussed before how i constantly have a very high heart rate and it seems like that's been evermore present lately. it's not uncomfortable per se but it does drive me crazy, it's like being excited/anxious to the extreme except i'm neither, rather quite calm, but my physical response wouldn't lead you to believe that.

in addition to this, i had been complaining to my caretakers that i always (genuinely) feel like i'm on the verge of vomitting despite knowing i probably wouldn't, but i've come to realize that my vocabulary doesn't match what i'm trying to describe because i don't know how to explain it well ─ this could be due to neurodivergency, or just the fact that i am medically uneducated and only know as much info as your average person. it's not that i'm actually sick with something as much as that a number of internal factors are making my body act like it's sick and simply imitating symptoms, if that makes sense. it seems to me like this will be managable and/or hopefully preventable once i can put a name to what's going on, but the problem (and frankly whole point of this paragraph) is i'm having trouble finding those words. i believe, from my limited understanding, that the suspects are related to postural, orthostatic, and/or tachycardial origins, which should be self-explanatory.

now onto the main purpose of this post. i had a stress test done last monday, wherein my heart's response to increasing levels of walking on a treadmill was recorded, and that was also done while i was sitting down before even getting on. the nurse/assistant (or whomever i was being led by) said that my heartrate per minute was between the 90s-110s at first while resting, and then when i got on to start walking it got up to the high 120s. i had to stop halfway through the second level (4.5 minutes total) because i'm quite weak and unfit for intense exercise, in which i went to go sit back down and the numbers didn't really change until i was encouraged to take deep breaths; then it went back down to around 115. i was given a goldfish crackers snack and some apple juice to recover, and when i threw away my trash apparently i went back up to 120.

the results of the test were sent off to be read by my new cardiologist (whom i've only seen once directly so far) and today he said everything looks good... which does not add up, especially after the woman who was there with me (notably not a doctor or credible source of authority) remarked that it looked like POTS to her when i hadn't even brought it up initially. i'm thinking perhaps he [cardiologist] simply glanced over at it while on vacation without putting in much work, but either way this can't be right. maybe my heart, the organ itself, is healthy, but something is clearly going on that's making it work harder than usual and therefore affecting my quality of life in a negative way.

i've been seeking either a diagnosis of POTS or otherwise some form of answer & solution to my ailment, and i'm wondering if there's something i should say to get the ball rolling in my favor ─ if so, should there be a certain tone? should i use my mother as an advocate, since that's often necessary in order to convince a doctor to listen and carefully consider what the patient is suggesting? (i would also like to send these sources from a POTSie activist to him, the same person, that i had shared here before too.) if he insists that there is nothing abnormal, should i seek a second opinion, and if so are there any recommendations from this community that i can look into? i'm happy to be redirected anywhere that may help out, so thanks in advance!

[oceanfalls-official]

Mailbag time! #1

Hello!! As promised I'll be publishing most answered asks in bulk like this. The questions that need longer, more thorough, paragraph-y responses will be published individually, but I'm grouping all the little ones here.

So here we go! Questions are below the cut.

AshenChromatic: if ruit cant beat suvi in a rap battle.... could... selene? who can save us?

Nights: I think she could put up a damn good fight, maybe even win it if she decide to get super serious. She's definitely the savior we're looking for... Also I put this ask first because it's the only non-anon ask I got in a long time woah!

Anonymous: Which oceanfalls characters thinks abt dinosaurs

Nights: The easy answer is to just say Five, so I'm not gonna limit it to that. I think Diana also thinks about them a lot but on a more involved scientific level. I also think Kaji is someone who would find big cool beast creatures very badass, so he definitely WOULD think about dinosaurs a lot. I bet he even makes cool paintings of dinosaurs hanging out with sharks like a dork.

Anonymous: where does boyfriend let u pet him this is rly important

Nights: For now, just the top of his head. Who knows if there are other spots... Even Meimona has yet to properly befriend him enough to know! You're gonna have to wait for a brave and perhaps more understanding character to get close and find out the hard way. He does allow cheek poking though.

Anonymous: were solis and suvillan meant to come off so intensely queer or was that just something that happened by coincidence

Nights: Not really! I didn't know it could be read that way at all. They're ruler-and-follower who have some baggage left from a former friendship that is yet to be addressed, which as we've seen really bothers Solis in particular. But they have never had romantic interest in each other.

Anonymous: when is ruits bedtime

Nights: Whenever he pleases. He'll retire earlier if it's a night without a lot of work, otherwise he'll be up late if needed.

Anonymous: does meimona like spaghetti

Nights: Definitely. She also likes noodles for the same reason as spaghetti: Long Strings of Food are fun to eat.

Anonymous: Oceanfalls MBTI/Ennegram/Love Languages

Nights: I contemplated doing the MBTI test to find out the answer to this, but it's too time consuming to do that approximately 12 times... so I will leave it to you to assign them with your judgement! Ennegram looks obvious enough. I will leave that to you too! And I don't think I can answer for the Love Languages myself, either. It's out of my comfort zone of how far I'm willing to think and talk about these characters' details. Cheers!

Anonymous: Who in Oceanfalls would be the best cuddler?

Nights: This is also a question beyond my comfort zone. You can probably decide it judging by comic panels or something!

Anonymous: I'm curious about how the winged can sleep comfortably at all, especially the ones with big pair of wings. Do they often sleep on their sides or on their fronts, and do they get scoliosis from this??

Nights: They don't all have to lie to down to sleep. Some can sleep standing up, sitting, lying down, or upside down. Think birds and bats. The ones with big wings will usually wrap it around themselves like a blanket and snooze. If they do lie down, winged with smaller wings can get away with lying on their backs. Otherwise, it's probably down to the sides or on the front, yes!

Anonymous: How big is the Midworld, as a measurement? What’s it’s diameter? And how far above it is the Winged Overworld?

Nights: I'm really bad with numbers for measuring things like this. As in, I've never put exact measurements for it on paper, it just ended up the way it is from guesstimating with my eyes and what made sense for what I wanted to do. You'll have to simply judge it for yourself from what the visuals in the comics show! If you ask me, I would just say it's big enough to fit a winged civilization, and high enough for its civilization's features to not be so easily visible from midworld level.

Anonymous: what are suvi and ruits favorite insults for each other

Nights: Suvillan (and Corona) really likes calling Ruit overgrown. But I don't think Ruit has any kind of creative specific insult that he uses in return... he used to be more of a petty bully when he was a teen, but not anymore. He's a boring guy who resorts to words like "bastard", and only because the literal meaning of it does apply to Suvillan.

Anonymous: Sorry if this sounds nosy or weird, but have you thought of sexualities for your characters???

Nights: I don't remember if I answered this before, but I don't think I did and I can't find it anywhere on the blog, so I'll do it now... Yeah I did for parts of story where it was relevant. I generally don't go deep about sexual-related details of my characters if it's not needed for their arcs or the story's plot in some way. Otherwise, I don't think about it much.

Anonymous: how many times has eidolon been banned from online games and services and how many alternative accounts does she own

Nights: Probably more than you or I could count with all of our hands combined. I bet she needs spreadsheets to keep track of that at this point...

Anonymous: would kaji drink alcohol out of one of those like holographic disney princess cups

Nights: ...This thing???

I think I had that when I was kid. My mom tossed it out because those straws grow mold if you don't clean them well. Uh, anyway, no, Kaji's like almost 30 years old. He'd be the one throwing out YOUR holographic disney princess cup to protect YOU from evil rotting straws. Maybe if you ask really nicely he'd have a single sip, though.

Anonymous: do you th ink propseroous horn would like be able to be pulled back and then it'd fling back like one of those door stoppers and it'd go boiyayanang

Nights: This made me think of humans making door stoppers shaped like monster horns to make fun of them and that's a very good idea in itself. No I'm not going to answer. boiyayanang

[stormboundscholar]

Journal Entry

31.13.2023

Hey everyone. I hope you guys have been doing well! I haven't posted in a while because things have been just a little hectic. I just wanted to post once again before the year ended.

It has been... Interesting lately. I've had my share of ups and downs. My studies are a major part of my life (probably to an unhealthy level) so my exam results effect my overall mood. This is usually manageable, but I I had a streak of bad exam results around two weeks ago and I had to change my life a little bit. I am trying to be a little more grounded, and to study a bit more than usual. It's worked so far, and I am starting to see some results too. I hope that I can keep this up.

I could continue talking about work, it would probably be more appropriate for a study blog like this one. But to be honest I am just not feeling it today. You may notice a sharp tone change after this paragraph because I just want to vent a little.

I want to be honest, It has been a hard year.

I am a perfectionist. I expect a lot more from myself than I should. But I just feel like I don't have a choice, or maybe I am just continuing a mistake.

I am tired. I am basing my identity on my achievements. I have seen this before on a lot of media that I consume. I am becoming an arrogant asshole because I am just not fit for the job.

I live in a developing country. Fuck developing, you could just say poor. I was born a male and in my nation that means it is my responsibility to provide. I don't want to be poor, and I don't want a theoretical family I may have to be poor. The only way I can do that is if I get into a good university and then a good job. So I feel like I have to be one of the best. But I can't handle the work load.

I am also very alone. I have been neglecting my family, my friends, and people that I would have wanted to know more deeply. I feel that it has been getting harder and harder for me to join their conversations, and I feel like an observer rather than a participant in conversations. I am rotting in a prison I built myself, only my echoes to talk with.

My body is also a mess. I can't continue my weight loss for some reason. It's probably because I have been almost completely sedentary lately. Also haven't been getting much sleepor sunlight. It's a wonder that I am still alive despite all of that.

I think that this is burnout. I am showing a lot of symptoms of it at least.

I don't know what to do. I have so many things to manage but I'm not strong enough. I feel as if I am failing to keep up with everything in my life.

Fuck is it bad. I built a rube goldberg machine of fuck-ups to ruin my life.

I will try to be better this year. Despite everything my situation could still be fixable.

Sadly my first priority for the next 5 months will still be my studies. I have dug that hole too deep to climb out of it.

I may try to be a little more active. Some bodyweight exercises should be a little helpful. I have also been taking the stairs instead of escalators lately so that could help.

Friends are a bit tricky. I haven't had a serious hobby since last year and that limits my conversations. I'm also a little distant to them which makes conversations challenging. I also learnt that some people find me intimidating which could be pushing them away. Fuck do I have a lot to do on this front.

I also decided to try being a little more romantic this year. I'm 18 and I haven't even had a date before, maybe having a partner will help with loneliness. So I will be a little more daring this year on this front.

An incredibly depressing list of goals for 2024. It's pretty much the same as last year's list, except I am starting from a worse point. I still hope that I can use these goals as ideals for who I want to be.

If you've read this, thank you. I wouldn't want to spread my pain to others but my brain still wants to be heard. If you skipped to the end, well all that you'd miss is yet another person whining about life. Nothing exceptional.

Good night everyone and good luck with whatever troubles you might be having!

[vagabond-umlaut]

SHE’S AN IDIOOOOOT *blares megaphone* Haha, got around to reading ramé 4.0 yesterday and omg— MC, girl, what the fuck are you doing? Are you seriously this daft? Like, who else does Nanami and Geto know that they’re going to have said secret admirer’s contact info? Not fucking Naoya, that’s for sure. Fuck that dude every which way. Geto and Nanami are haters of that dude 110%, without it a doubt. Especially within the jujutsu world that’s got such a limited amount of people within in it? BUT AY, SHE’S MOVIN’ ABROAD? Aw maaaan 😫 You got two hours to get some balls and confess, Gojo Senpai. Who would’ve thought Gojo would believe the fictional writings of romance and love got it right? That’s definitely something I wouldn’t expect to hear out of him for sure, but then again, he is someone who I find to have a complex personality and probably quite a few layers to him from canon (when you look at him beyond his power and craziness imo). God, Kit, why must you do this to me? 11/10 work once again, but omg, I want to see the next part already 😆

MC SURE IS AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!

yet yet yet, there seems to have been a major confusion, babe

mr. six eyes doesn't believe in books and movies being right

our dearest mc ain't moving abroad

well, u see-

"how does your first love feel? beautiful, right? the way it's in books, songs and movies... isn't it?"

gojo takes a moment to mull over your query.

it is... yet it isn't.

gojo's neither agreeing nor denying in response to mc's ask

the flutters in his heart when you skip past him in the corridors with a beam; the butterflies in his stomach when you plop on the chair next to him in the cafeteria; the dizziness in his head when your face is too close to his; the utterly-unplatonic thoughts of you plaguing him, day and night, dusk and dawn...

the fictional works sure have got this aspect of love right.

the sorcerer agrees here, yeah

but they aren't right in so many other aspects of it.

only to disagree in the very next line of thought

falling in love with you isn't love-on-first-crash nor is it from a magical transformation in one of you nor is it after ages and ages of ignorance and denial and the final mind-numbing feeling that oh shit! you're the one for him; always have been; the girls with whom he's been till now are mere mirages of you; but it's too late now... you're moving abroad on a flight in two hours, with a boyfriend who's far better than him.

here. here, by moving abroad, he's referring to there where there's a playboy and there's an innocent childhood best friend girl, and there's three hours of every possible trope playing on the screen before THE ULTIMATE LOVE CONFESSION occurs at THE AIRPORT, and the girl dumps her boyfriend to be together with the best friend.

the second-year simply wants to say the mc's and his response isn't as melodramatic as that. it's way simpler and cooler!

the mc isn't moving abroad anytime soon, dw! :))

no.

the goggles-wearing sorcerer's catching feelings for you is way more realistic and easier to digest than that.

the two of you are friends, friends, friends - until the morning the two of you are munching on an ice cream tub, and with a casual glance at you, the boy muses what he feels for you is weird, not like his feelings for his other friends - and after a month's worth research, reaches the conclusion of him being in love with you.

quick. direct. smart.

just like the heir of the gojo clan himself.

hope the above paragraphs and my answer solved whatever doubts u might hv had! :D

TYSM FOR UR ASK, @ancient-vivarium!!!! NGL, UR ASK IS ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS AMONGST THE RESPONSES MY STORIES GET!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[rockinlibrarian]

Starting a fresh post because that reblogged content was getting a little long

But @stephsageek tagged me to do this (and you can GO back and read all the reblogged answers here):

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to know better and/or catch up with, then answer the questions below!

Last song: Well, "The Lonely Goatherd" is again stuck in my head since I'm still writing that chapter (I added two more sentences since last time I mentioned it!). I haven't had music on this morning, so the last song I actually listened to was when my clock radio went off, and it was on this eighties r&b ballad I don't know the name of and can't remember the artist, either, but the guy keeps belting out what I think is "find one hundred ways," except my brain always processes it as "five one hundred ways" and I'm always like "why can't he just say five hundred ways like a normal person? Or fifty-one hundred?" and it probably ruins the earnest effect he was going for.

Oh, I guess actually the last song I listened to was that cool stringed instrument I reblogged last.

Three ships: Huh. Five/Viktor is really the biggest I've interacted with lately. And since I am still reading primarily TUA fic the only other (and this time CANONICAL!) ship I'm into there is Lila and Diego (sorry, @stephsageek, I've gone and split up your main ship into two separate ships in response to your own post, oh well!) (I grant you, Five and Lila are my favorite BROTP (ironic turn of phrase there), but that's not what we're talking about. I don't think). So let me cast my nets for whatever are my Biggest Ships of All Time instead, which would be... Howl and Sophie? Yeah, they'd do. You could instead name a property and I'd tell you who (if any) I ship within it. Who else have I written for on AO3? Oh, Melanie and Oliver Bird. Do I ship them or are they just being them (even though that is a flat-out romcom-tagged fic)? The only other non-Gen fic I have there is Tesseract, which will go into the workings of Alex and Kate Murry's marriage a bit quite romantically by my standards, but still isn't really SHIPPING. --I'm not a big shipper, if you couldn't tell, but I DO have ships I care about out there, I promise.

First ever ship: Speaking of the Murrys, Meg and Calvin

Currently Reading: The Astonishing Chronicles of Oscar from Elsewhere, by Jaclyn Moriarty, which has set me off on my how much I just love Jaclyn Moriarty and why don't more people know her raving again. I swear every single character in her books has ADHD and it makes it such a weirdly comfortable world to live in. My kids are like "I KNOW THAT FEELING!" every two paragraphs. She's just so creative and has SUCH a way with chararacters. I'm not fixing that typo, I like it.

Currently watching: I'm actually not sure when the last time I watched ANYTHING was. Not counting videos of cool psychedelic stringed instruments on Tumblr. And cat videos. My son playing Splatoon is what's usually on the TV in the living room, but I wouldn't say I watch all that closely. I just hum along to the music and annoy him.

Currently consuming: Aldi's brand mini wontons mixed with leftover Thai noodles, because why limit oneself to one inauthentic Asian cuisine at a time?

Last movie: again with the What DID I last watch question, which I think means I haven't watched a movie since New Years, the last one of which was STILL (since last I answered the What movie did I last watch question) Arsenic and Old Lace. I got The Music Man out of the library recently because I was quoting "Trouble" at the kids and they didn't know what I was talking about so I have to educate them, but I haven't actually put it ON yet.

Currently craving: Shockingly, not much of anything. Maybe because I just had lunch. Maybe peppermint just to counteract the wontons and Thai noodles.

Tags: do I even know nine people? I don't even know who actually follows me. I'm going to go ahead and tag the last nine people that have interacted with me here, not counting @stephsageek unless she wants to answer all these questions again. @frimframs, @joasakura, @dannypageoflight (that's my brother), @sunnymarbles (that's my youngest kid), @rj-anderson (that's a quite successful author, I don't know why I'm bothering her with this), frimfram and joasakura again, oh, @vovat (that's my friend from college), @e-louise-bates (that's one of my most long-time online friends!), @callmealx (I'm afraid I have NO idea who you are, besides I assume Alx, but that's what this meme thing is supposedly for, after all!) and @rebel-by-default. Is that nine? That's nine. Why hasn't it made Vovat a link? No, none of those suggestions are correct, Tumblr, you fail me.

[plothooksinc]

7 and 15 for the ask meme! Also you've already said it for yourself, but I want you to know the shaft scene of Underdark lives in my head rent-free. Everything from the moment the train lights pass overhead to the moment Mikey has to climb back out of the shaft with Leo tied to his back. That's like a chapter and a half, I'm sure 50% sure, but I remember like it's been painted on my memory.

me, the author, typing away: oh god this is so STRESSFUL I wonder what happens next

Glad that's someone else's favourite ♥

7. What’s a trope you love to write?

Too many to count. I know I definitely round back to the same ones a lot, but I think the one I love to write (because now that I think about it I do this a lot lmao) it's > take hero and handicap in some way (whether literally or he's just out of his depth) > hero gets underestimated > hero proceeds to think outside the box and kick your ass with whatever improvised tactic comes to hand Because I LOVE ME SOME INTELLIGENT CHARACTERS and I do this in just about everything, and it may be a direct response to being tired of watching otherwise competent characters get damselled and lie around helpless when they really shouldn't be. (The flip side is if I actually do damsel someone they are fucked up to a level where they Literally Cannot and they will probably fight all the way down to that level because it's the only way to stop my brain from going "but they could do this and--")

I first did that with Kenshin in Tanabata Jasmine, where the bad guys broke his collarbone and took his sword away and he proceeded to have a fight with first a chair leg and then a bowl of rice, so. Kaoru was thinking outside the box the entire time when she was being a small time hacker sliding her way into one of the Top 5 Scariest Zaibatsu In Existence in Zaibatsu Project. That was fun. The list continues from there. I guarantee you this is coming in No Rest For The Weary. A lot. I like underdog fights and impossible odds with inspired badassery. (I also do this in RP a lot, boy Nami did a lot of improv fighting in Luceti.)

15. Are there words, phrases, mannerisms or scenes you tend to use a lot?

OH I SEE HOW IT IS, MY BETA CALLING ME OUT-- jkjk. Um, yes. Mostly Said-Bookisms, which I keep a tight eye on these days because I want to describe tone for every piece of dialogue someone writes and it's Not Necessary. But I'm fond of people speaking mildly and dryly and I like injecting life into conversations but boy it's sure easy to go Too Far with that, so. I also abuse the em dash like many authors and because my usual MO is to switch between Third Person Limited, the passages often have a lot of disconnected thoughts as they start thinking about something else or something happens, so. There are a lot of paragraphs that end with -- and then they sidetrack.

I bet there are phrases that I use a lot. One is 'white-knuckled' which is unfortunate because I'm currently talking about a bunch of kids with green skin and I already noticed I just absently used that in the very first chapter of NRFTW whoops. Also, hilariously, I'm pretty sure I've used the sentence 'He Slept' on its own a few times lately, irony of that story title. I often finish chapters/sections with a very short tl;dr sentence, lmao.

And scenes-- I try my best not to repeat on these, but apparently Mikey and Leo snoozing in bed together is gonna be a repeat theme. Characters waking up confused b/c of concussions and/or drugs and/or Bits of Black Ice Programs Trapped In Their Heads. Bizarrely, I have also written two boardroom scenes in which the protag has to face a bunch of murderous capitalists and outwit them on a verbal scale. The fact that that one occurred twice was not intentional and is a source of great amusement to me.

Thank you!

Fanfic Writer Ask game here.

[trans-harrington]

an intro post!!

what's up! i'm zee, i'm 23, and i largely use they/them pronouns, though she/her is occasionally acceptable. i've been roleplaying for about 6 years, and i'm unfortunately obsessed with stranger things, hence the blog! i'm always on the lookout for new partners, so don't hesitate to send a message if you're interested in plotting!

i'm a pretty chill person when it comes to writing, but i do have a few rules and guidelines. please read everything before messaging me!

general.

first and foremost, i only write with people 20 or older. please do not contact me if you're under the age of 20, or i will block you.

secondly, i am a black, queer person, and i write a lot of queer characters. if you don't like that, don't interact.

i want to reiterate that i write on discord only. my tumblr blog is just to find people and talk a little before moving over there. i'm a multi-para writer, and i average about 6-8 paragraphs, but i can write less if you're more comfortable with that. that being said, i cannot do one-liners. i like to keep a plot moving and i feel like with one-liners, it just drags out. i will lose interest and the plot will be dropped.

i write in mini servers on discord, and i usually make a couple of channels for us to chat and share things ooc, and different channels for each roleplay. i write in third person, past or present tense, and i have tried in the past but i cannot get into first or second person, so please don't ask me to write in either.

lastly, while i use some bots, i prefer not using tupperbox. it confuses me and more often than not i forget to actually use it when replying.

activity.

i work a full-time job, i'm preparing for a year-long certification course, and i'm mentally ill, so my activity can be spotty. there may be times that i just want to chat without writing, and there may be periods where you get tons and tons of replies from me. please be patient with me either way. you can always poke me gently if it's been a few days and you haven't heard from me, but daily messages, or multiple messages a day make me extremely anxious. i'm less likely to answer you, and it will probably end in a ghosting situation, which is the last thing i want. if you're the kind of person who needs rapid responses every day, we aren't going to vibe.

plotting.

first and foremost, be aware that i require doubling. i have a lot of ideas and ships, and i know plenty of other people do as well. i want us both to be able to get what we want out of writing together. i will always put as much enthusiasm into your plot as i do mine, and i ask that you do the same. if i feel like you're neglecting one plot in favor of the other, i will probably end both.

nsfw and other themes.

i am an adult, and i enjoy writing smut and heavy topics. sometimes, my plots can be very smutty, and other times smut might not appear at all. please let me know what you are and aren't comfortable with upfront so that we can avoid any tricky situations!

i enjoy writing angst, fluff, aus (especially historical aus), omegaverse, pregnancy and family-building, and canon-compliant plots. i love brainstorming and worldbuilding, filling in the many gaps that the duffer brothers have left us with.

i have very few triggers, but i will not write out the following: self-harm, toxic or abusive relationships, homophobia or queerphobia of any kind, racism, heavy descriptions of gore, eye trauma, or animal abuse.

for smut purposes, i absolutely cannot write anal penetrative sex. i had a nightmarish experience both online and in person that i won't go into details about, but anal smut is highly triggering for me. if you bring it into a plot, i will block you immediately. that being said, other limits include: pedophilia, raceplay, feeding/food, feet, detransitioning, and noncon.

characters/ships.

i will delete this part later, but for right now i am not looking for any steddie content. i enjoy the ship, but i have been overwhelmed with it lately and would just like to take a break from it altogether for the time being.

my main muse is steve harrington, who i write as a trans man. he's my favorite character to write as, and is the one i have the most headcanons and backstory for. but i am duplicate-friendly, and welcome other steves to interact!

additionally, i do write as a few members of the party, but i write them all aged up. the only time i will write them as kids are if they're appearing in other plots as background characters.

and lastly, i am open to all kinds of ships, but there are a few things to keep in mind. firstly, i am open to canon/oc ships but only if you have a detailed character sheet for them, so that i can actually get a feel for them. secondly, i do not enjoy ronance or stonathan as romantic ships, but i am always happy to write them platonically (in fact i have a platonic stonathan plot that i am DESPERATE to write so hmu).

characters i write:

- steve harrington (ftm)

- robin buckley (nonbinary)

- max mayfield (ftm)

- nancy wheeler (cis or mtf)

- joyce byers

- jim hopper (cis or ftm)

- dustin henderson

- eleven hopper

- vickie (begging for a last name reveal)

- chrissy cunningham

- carol perkins

as far characters i want to write against - bring me anyone! i love exploring different dynamics between characters, especially ones that don't get to interact much (if at all) in the show. i'm always looking for romantic, platonic, or familial ships, and i'm always looking to plot, so don't hesitate to reach out and send a message!

[actuallyitsstar]

hiii 🍓🔪🦷🐚 and 🧩 (for the drama 💅)

✨ writer’s truth or dare! ✨

hi there nonnie !!! tysm for the ask!! i am so sorry for the late response but i hope that u see this and enjoy !! <3<3

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

i have no idea anymore tbh lol. i can tell u that the first fic i ever wrote was an episode tag for the mentalist, and that i was probably was somewhere between the ages of 12 and 15???? but i don't remember the specifics that got me into it. i started reading fic (also for the mentalist) when i was like, 11, so, probably because after a year or two i convinced myself to just give it a shot and the rest was history. at the end of the day, though, it probably just comes down to an uncontrollable urge to put that blorbo into a situation!!

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

not for a fanfic, but i had to know SO MUCH about a limited model run of a special drag racing car that ford made in the early 1960s (only a few hundred made, very rare, etc etc) due to a personal writing project i started and then kind of abandoned when i was like, 16 lol. i used to know the production run numbers and engine size and the paint colors and everything by memory. it was ridiculous.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

if you love something, do it. even if you fear you won't do it well- if you love something enough, you love it enough to do it shitty. that's so much better than not doing it at all. learning to let go of my incredibly creativity-freezing perfectionism is an ongoing task that i am not even halfway thru, so trust me when i say i know how tough that rly is. but you always regret the things you didn't try more than the things you did.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

aaaaaah do we still mean in writing lol? or irl? i like a surprise twist or turn in writing quite a lot! i also love foreshadowing and being chased down by the narrative. there's no perfect right answer! as for irl, it depends, but i don't like to get scared or to have plans suddenly changed at the last minute. if it's a surprise outside of those circumstances, then yes, i do!

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

for me it's either poor formatting (i.e. no paragraph breaks, no quotations, no commas, that kind of thing), or (and i hope this doesn't come off rude in any way bc i know we all make different choices stylistically and are all always learning and growing too!), and this might just be a me thing, but if the pov is from like. a god-mode position where the third person narrative knows what every character is thinking at the same time and it's not just switching povs or like. one character's prediction of another's pov. but like. idk what that is called. it just kind of breaks my immersion to the story i think, so i don't tend to vibe with it!

again, thank u so much anon !!! i hope u have a lovely day !! <3 tysm for stopping by my blog and taking time to send in an ask aaaa!

[peachhcs]

Love Languages Pt. 2

Pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

Summary: Pt.2 to Luke asking you what Love Languages are

Warnings: talk of drinking and cheating but that’s it

Word Count: 1.6k

Here is part two that you all have been asking for! I deeply apologize for how long it took me to get this up, school is really kicking my butt. I have a bunch of people asking to be on my taglist and I’m currently in the works of making one so comment or reblog or something telling me you want to be on my taglist! Make sure you specifiy for my series or for small blurbs/oneshots like this or both! 

Thank you so much for the amazing feedback! I love the comments and y’all are so amazing! 

I’m not sure if this will have a part 3?? but let me know if you want one haha. I won’t be tagging anyone in this because my tags got lost in my notifications, so if you want to be tagged again, make sure you read above! :)

PART 1

* * *

You didn’t mean to avoid Luke, it just kind of happened. Junior Year was no joke and it felt like every night and every weekend you had piles of homework to get done, so you sort of drifted from going to Julie’s house everyday. She didn’t mind, she understood just as much and kept you updated on how the band was doing. However, you still felt guilty for avoiding the boys. You were worried that Luke would think he scared you away by touching you, but you were feeling the exact opposite. You wanted to explore more and find out more but here you were, in your room at 12am trying to finish this nagging essay that was due in 8 hours. 

You felt your eyelids growing heavy but you shook your head, trying to keep yourself awake. The 3 monster drinks on your nightstand said enough about how much you were trying to keep yourself awake. You had 2 paragraphs left but you knew you were at a losing battle with yourself. The way your eyes were just glazing over at this point and rereading the same sentence over and over was becoming a very evident indication that you needed sleep. Before you could even think about quitting for the night, there was a noise from the side of your room and a grunt. Your eyes quickly darted over to where the noise came from and there stood Luke with that magenta pull over that you really liked. 

“Luke?” His eyes quickly darted over to you, clearly surprised to still see you awake.

“Y/n..hey..” He started and you pushed your laptop away to give him your full attention. 

“What are you..doing here?..” You weren’t really sure why he was here and you felt a small bit of tension in the room from avoiding him for the past few weeks. 

“I uh..came to see you..” His voice was small and you pushed your eyebrows together in confusion. 

“At 12 in the morning?..” You knew ghosts didn’t really sleep but it was still a strange sight to see Luke in your bedroom this late at night. 

“Yup..” He trails off and pushes his glance down to the floor. You raised your eyebrow, knowing he wasn’t telling you the whole truth. You two were still best friends after all, so you could read him like an open book. 

“Luke, seriously. What are you doing here?” You ask trying to push an answer out of him. He finally meets your gaze again and you see his small expression on his face.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” 

You blinked a few times at his bluntness. This time you were the one to avoid his gaze. You picked at your fingernails slightly, knowing Luke was watching you and waiting for an answer. 

“I don't mean too.. School’s been tough and stuff.” You say cringing at how lame that sounded even though it was true. Luke stayed silent for a moment, trying to decide if you were lying to him or not. You avoided his eyes and kept your glance locked on the floor. 

“Did I do something wrong? Did I overstep by touching you? I didn’t mean to scare you or anything..” Luke trails off and you frown. You quickly shake your head to tell him no.

“No, no, no. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve just been really swamped with homework..” You grimace to yourself for coming back to your really lame excuse. You watch as Luke steps a little closer, testing the waters. When you don’t object to him moving closer, he takes a slow seat on your bed beside you. 

“You look tired..” He points out, gently reaching to touch your cheek. It warms both of your bodies as your skin makes contact. His hands were..warm..and comforting. You weren’t sure what you expected but it definitely wasn't this. Who knew ghosts were warm? 

“I told you I’ve been swamped with homework.” You chuckle and this time Luke chuckles along with you. He gently pulls his hand away and folds them into his lap. You stare down at your feet for a few moments trying to figure out what to say next. This felt like completely new territory the two of you were exploring and by the energy and growing tension in the room; this was a little bit scary. 

“Do you think you know..why we can..touch?” You ask hesitantly. Julie was filling you in here and there at school, but it wasn’t much and they didn’t seem to come up with anything as to why you had the “powers” too. 

“No..it’s still all confusing. We think Julie’s mom has something to do with us being connected to Julie but we don’t know about you.” Luke says, side eyeing you and you weren’t sure if that was a hint for you to talk about your past or not.  

You didn’t really open up about your past. No one had ever really asked so you never really talked. Julie knew a little bit, she knew that your mom and dad fought a lot and you didn’t like being at home that much, but that was about it. You didn’t talk about it further than that, so when you could feel Luke trying to dig into your past more, you shrugged. 

“My parents don’t talk much about stuff. I don’t know.” You say, keeping it short and simple. Luke frowns a little at your answer, but he knows not to push so he doesn’t. The two of you sit in more silence beside one another. You picked at your finger nails while Luke’s eyes travelled around your room. 

“I ran out on my mom. She didn’t believe in my dream and though dropping out of high school was the worst possible idea. We got into a fight and I ran out. That was the last time I saw her face to face. I died before I could make amends with her.” You glance at Luke, surprised at his openness. Even though you guys were best friends, talking about stuff like this was kind of off limits. The memory hurt too much so you never talked about at home, parent problems. 

“Wow..I’m sorry. That must have been hard on both of you.” You admit and Luke nods.

“It was, but Julie helped me make amends with them last year.” Luke smiles a little and you smile too. You knew his little story was a play to get you to start talking so you took in a little breath. 

“My dad cheated on my mom a few years ago with..a few other women. My mom keeps trying to make excuses for him to keep him around. They fight a lot because my dad doesn’t want to stay but my mom keeps pushing it. They’re both pretty heavy drinkers, too. It’s not a very good mix.” You explain. It felt weird to say it out loud, but it also felt nice to talk about it with someone.

“I’m really sorry, Y/n. I can’t imagine how difficult that is.” Luke empathizes but you only shrug. 

“It’s a good thing Julie let’s me come over so much. She’s been there for me for it all and I really love her for that.” You say, smiling at the thought of Julie’s friendship. You really couldn’t ask for a better best friend to get through it all. 

“Yeah, Julie’s really great. She does it all.” Luke laughs and you nod in agreement. More silence fills in between you two but it was comfortable silence. This time you lean your head on Luke’s shoulder and he pulls his arm around you to bring you closer. You could feel the tension slowly fading away. Sometimes all it took was one meaningful conversation to break the barrier. 

“Oh yeah, I saw these on my way over here and I thought you might like them.” Luke smiles and you watch as he digs into his pocket before pulling out a small bouquet of those pretty Aster flowers. You sit up a little, instantly recognizing them. They were your grandma’s favorite before she passed away when you were little. 

“Asters?” You ask and Luke glances at you a little surprised.

“Is that what they’re called? They’re really pretty.” Luke smiles and hands them to you. You smile, smelling them and instantly getting that fresh scent of your grandma’s house. 

“They are very pretty. Thank you.” You smile warmly and Luke smiles again. 

“Yeah, you’re welcome. They just reminded me of you.” Luke says and you chuckle. That was something your grandma had said to you a lot. 

“You should probably get going. It’s getting late and the boys are probably wondering where you are.” You chuckle, glancing at how much later it had gotten and you still had to wake up for school the next morning. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll see you at Julie’s tomorrow?” Luke stands up and sends you a hopeful glance. You chuckle and nod a yes. 

“Yeah, see you there, Patterson.” Luke smiles at your response. You watch as he hesitates to leave for a moment and you’re about to question him when in one quick motion he plants a kiss on your cheek before poofing out. 

You sit there, a little stunned, before allowing a small blush to creep its way onto your cheeks. You got up to put your flowers in your little vase on your desk. It added a nice touch to your room. If Luke hadn’t come in to make you more alert, you would have missed it. On your desk by the vase was a small piece of paper with writing on it. Upon examining it further, it was one of the last notes your grandma had written to you before she passed away. You thought you had lost that somewhere in your numerous papers, but there it was, front and center on your desk. 

I will be with you, today, tomorrow, and forever. You just have to look for the signs - Grandma 

[bookofmirth]

Hello! This is a bit different from your usual gwynriel/elucien asks, so I hope you don’t mind, but it’s something that’s been bothering me lately and I wonder if anyone else has noticed.

I’m not sure if it’s because if the upsurge in popularity of acotar on tiktok/twitter with a younger audience reading it, or if I’ve just been lucky and not noticed it before, but I’ve seen so many Tamlin stans coming out of the woodwork and it honestly bothers me.

I definitely do agree that Tamlin is a complex character and of course, it’s fine that people are interested in him (I really don’t care about him, but to each their own)! But lately there have been so many people in the fandom arguing that he’s a victim of PTSD who deserves better, often villainizing Feyre/Lucien because of this.

I‘ve seen takes that Feyre was gaslighting Tamlin when she told him she was happy with Rhys because Rhys still had the whole night court persona going on?? And that Lucien and Feyre were a horrible support system because they wouldn’t stand up to him (completely ignoring that when they did Tamlin … ya know … physically hurt both of them)? And that somehow Feyre spying in the Spring Court in ACOWAR was also abusive and manipulative towards Tamlin?

I just genuinely don’t understand where all of this is coming from. I try to be critical of SJM’s writing because I understand that it can be flawed, especially since I have problems with how Feysand was written after ACOWAR, Azriel’s issues with women, the IC’s treatment of Nesta, etc. But I just can’t seem to get behind these interpretations and I’m not sure if I’m just missing something (or ‘biased’ by Feyre’s POV as some claim).

Wooooooo boy, so I didn't know that this was a thing happening but lemme break down how wrong these people are with some of these arguments! This is going to get long.

(I definitely don't mind, I appreciate any ask that's not just about ship wars!)

So I'm going to lay out the claims people are making and talk about them one at a time.

Tamlin has PTSD:

Probably yes. In the beginning of acomaf, Feyre mentions that he has trouble sleeping, just like she does, and I believe he gets up at night, and this is when their relationship really deteriorates. I can't say for sure what he was experiencing, but it seems like he had a lot of anxiety and fears left over from Amarantha and watching Feyre die. The things he was experiencing emotionally are 1000% understandable and valid, even if it wasn't diagnosable PTSD.

But you know who else likely has PTSD? Lucien and Feyre.

Say it with me everyone: emotions do not always justify behaviors.

Feyre is gaslighting Tamlin:

Hell fucking no.

People need to learn what gaslighting is. Gaslighting is not just "lying". Gaslighting is not "disagreeing". Gaslighting is a very specific tactic used to make someone question their memory, their reality, to twist the truth.

Rhys definitely had a persona. That was a calculated decision. But when Feyre tells Tamlin that she is happy, she is not lying at all. Her telling Tamlin that she is happy has nothing to do with whatever lies or manipulations that Rhys did in the past. Why? Because even if Rhys was a super asshole dark dude, Feyre saying she is happy with him is still the truth. Feyre isn't lying, let alone gaslighting Tamlin, that idea is completely laughable.

The only way that people could say that Feyre is gaslighting Tamlin is to say that she is responsible for Rhysand's Dark persona, that she is the one who created it with the intention of making people question what they thought was true. Which she isn't. That isn't even the reason that Rhys created the persona. He created it to obscure the truth in the first place.

And even his persona isn't gaslighting? He isn't trying to make people question their reality. He isn't trying to make people question themselves. He is trying to make himself look scary. And so when he drops that persona, he is telling the truth. He isn't gaslighting people, he is saying "hey I wasn't being honest before but now I am".

And i think that's a big, big difference that people are failing to understand. Gaslighting is about trying to change other people's reality. Rhys's persona was about him. Feyre saying she was happy was about her. Neither of those things were about trying to make people feel like they were crazy.

So there has to be this reality. Let's say Rhys was spotted being menacing. Person A is like "hey, you look scary!" And he's like "noice, my evil plan is working." Then later on Rhys is like "hey you know what, I wasn't being honest before, I'm actually a Super Cool Dude." Person A might be confused for a minute because what they thought was true wasn't true, but they'll get there.

If it were gaslighting, on the other hand, it would go more like: Rhys: *is nice*. Person A: "hey, I thought you were scary though?" Rhys: "nah, that was my good twin, Rhysnaldo. I've never been nice a day in my life. You must be confused." Person A: *questioning everything they thought they just witnessed".

So yeah anyway, people gotta stop using that term if they don't know what it means.

Feyre manipulating Tamlin:

Personally, I agree with the argument that she manipulated Tamlin in the beginning of acowar. I don't think that's even a matter of interpretation, she went to Spring with the intention of burning shit down.

Feyre was not abusive towards Tamlin. She knew his weaknesses and exploited them. I don't care that she did that to him, I think that she deserved a bit of vengeance. However, personally I cannot stand the fact that in doing so she caused a lot of collateral damage and did not gaf. Deal with your abusive ex however you need to, Feyre. Don't knowingly, intentionally bring harm to other people in doing so.

Feyre and Lucien failing as a support system:

NO.

Feyre literally saved Tamlin's life by killing and dying for him. Lucien was also tortured by Amarantha because of Tamlin. Neither of them broke and betrayed him. They were incredibly loyal to him throughout acotar. Even now, when Lucien is being emotionally and physically abused by Tamlin, Lucien is still trying to work with him, make sure he is fed, make sure he doesn't completely lose his humanity fae-ness. Lucien is the only reason that the Spring Court hasn't completely collapsed while Tamlin wallows in his beasty feelings.

Any time that either Feyre or Lucien try to stand up to Tamlin, he gets manipulative and abusive. He emotionally manipulates Feyre into feeling guilty for wanting to be able to defend herself. He emotionally abuses Feyre by making her afraid of his anger and afraid of how he will react to anything that she says or does. He glares or shouts down anything the Lucien says.

Also, Tamlin is a High Lord! They can only do so much when it comes to standing up to him.

For real, Feyre and Lucien did literally everything that they possibly could in order to try to support Tamlin, and much of that was to their own detriment. In trying to support Tamlin, they got emotional and physical abuse in return. So no, fuck that. Being supportive does not mean we have to put up with abuse.

Being biased in Feyre's favor:

We are not biased by Feyre's POV in the sense that she is trying to mislead the reader, but we are limited by her POV because she doesn't know everything. She tells us the truth as she knows it. That is very different from a narrator who is intentionally trying to hide things or lie or mislead.

But even if we were biased by Feyre's POV, so fucking what??? Is it so wrong to take the side of a victim of abuse? Why do we need to try so hard to understand Tamlin's side? People can do that, of course, I have myself, especially later on in the story. In acofas I started to feel sorry for him. I've been mad at how Rhys treated him in acofas. But the idea of being biased in Feyre's favor means that we would have to question her, in some way, when she recounts the story of her abuse. That's disgusting, to me. What reason do we have to think she isn't telling her story truthfully?

We might naturally have more empathy towards Feyre because we heard the story from her POV, but again - why is that a bad thing? To hear a story from the victim of abuse and feel empathy for them??? Call me crazy but that's not a problem. I'm going to empathize with Feyre, and I'm going to believe Mor (and Rhys, and Lucien). The end.

A final word

Just something you said in the last paragraph struck me, in regards to Azriel's view of women and how the IC treats Nesta: those are not thing to criticize in sjm's writing, I think. Just because Tamlin is abusive doesn't mean that sjm shouldn't have written him that way, ya know? If there are inconsistencies in characterization or a lack of understanding of abusive dynamics or alcohol abuse or something like that, those are things we can criticize in her writing. But characters do uncomfy things, that's supposed to happen.

What I'm trying to say is that there is a difference between criticizing a character's actions, and criticizing the way they have been written. Pretty much everything above falls under the realm of "analyzing a character or story", not criticizing the author.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Redux! Oct. 13, 2020)

Gooooood evening good evening good evening, all! I started the VOD late for this recap and somehow the first four or so minutes of the show have a Twitch audio copyright claim, so I am reduced to only reading Brian's lips when he asks if we're on the internet. Hilariously, Marisha's background room is a comfy-looking blue/gold fabric wall with a ceramic colorful abstract lamp and a yellow silk scarf over the lampshade, and Taliesin's is an industrial looking games room in grey and black with multiple monitors, overhead speakers, and mysterious metal fixtures behind him. What a treasure this group is, honestly.

Tonight's guests: Marisha Ray & Taliesin Jaffe, discussing episodes 110 and 111 again. I wildly speculate once more about what might have caused their absence: jury duty? Sam appearing on The Masked Singer? Something to do with the animated show? One day, we’ll know, one day... (One day this “copyrighted audio” section will come back from the wars, too. Ugh!) Finally! The audio comes back to reveal Brian discussing the endless reality of digital meetings and Marisha talking about (I think) her glare-reducing glasses she’s wearing. Welcome to the New Age (welcome to the New Age, to the New Age).

Announcements: Marisha suggests checking out Dimension20, another live tabletop gaming group, which premieres live on Wednesdays at 4pm (CollegeHumor). 

Brian immediately wants to know how they feel about the revelation that Molly is alive. Taliesin’s personal reaction: he “knows some things” he can’t talk about and is aware of several possibilities that might be going on, but had a sneaking suspicion that there would not be a body for them to find. He says it’s almost all there for anyone to see in past material. Marisha’s personal reaction: she just wants to know how she’s doing with her theories, & was trying to block Tal’s face out deliberately as she was going off on her theories in the last episode. Taliesin says he thought her ideas were pretty good!

Cad has no clue what to think - it’s like listening to your friends talk about Buffy. Marisha thought it was a 50/50 Molly would still be there, but Beau had no idea. Not that it mattered, because as soon as Matt went through with it the reveal still blew their minds. Tal laid out his plans for the character with Matt during Campaign One (towards the end) after they all got their VM tattoos.

It is a “horrifying and gross” thing to dig up a body, and Beau was pretty reluctant to do it. Tal, as Cad: “Sometimes dead’s better.” The moral quandary of trying to speak with a dead friend was very different here than the frequent occasions they used the spell in C1.

Taliesin says his poker face is very bad, so it’s easier for him to over-react and let it all play out. The only other player he can see very easily from his place in their current setup is Travis, and because he knows Travis doesn’t watch TM, tweet, or participate in social media, he admits he thoroughly enjoyed watching Travis freak out at his freaking out. He says he only knew about 20% of what Matt described at the end of that episode. He was picking things to mug to increase Travis’s surprise. I love this so much.

Taliesin provided the table left leg shake; Travis provided table right. Ha!

Beau is really accepting her role in the Cobalt Soul. It’s good when “as a person, you feel like you can settle into your calling. Sometimes you can do more from the inside than fighting from the outside.” It’s a mirrored but opposite path of Keyleth from C1; Beau felt like she was too good for her duty, while Keyleth thought she wasn’t good enough.

Caduceus is not a big believer in jumping to conclusions. He does have an idea/notion of the “city of the undead” and thinks all this necrotic energy must come from somewhere, and wonders if this is the “capital of anti-death.” He’s willing to believe whatever he sees. This is one of the few things that trigger a bit of loathing and disgust in him. It was terrifying that the Wildmother didn’t know anything.

Beau is pretty confident in her Charlie Day impression laying-out-the-research last episode. She enjoyed taking the things that were known & extrapolating around them; this is a huge facet of Marisha’s own personality and she really enjoys it, so she built a character this time that would allow that kind of puzzle-solving. It’s also why she repeatedly notes when Beau journals, so she can avoid metagaming. Trent’s mention of Vess Durogna’s tomb raiding was completely circumstantial, and the only reason she’d made the connection to the Tombtakers was because she’d recently reviewed those notes for a separate unannounced project. Sometimes she tries to make connections and Matt is like, “It was...just descriptive. Just flavor. The curtains were red...” and she has to discard a paragraph of notes. She feels like it’s still something they have to do because of “look at what he does! Look! It’s totally valid!”

Cosplay of the Week: @kitsunstudios with a gorgeous Caduceus with a very intricate silk vest.

Caduceus’s takedown of Trent! One of my favorite moments in the entirety of C2. Taliesin felt Trent was an asshole; Caduceus felt sorry for him because of how dumb he thought he was. Caduceus’s response was "this is the dumbest man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s so dumb! Is nobody going to tell this guy how dumb he is? Oh, they’re all freaked out. Somebody needs to tell this guy he’s an idiot before somebody gets hurt.” (Marisha: “Before?”) Tal says it was the product of several years of therapy and many drunk conversations with Whitney Moore. It was from a genuine place of concern from Caduceus. “How are you allowed to have this much power and be that dumb?”

Brian loved how funny it was to watch everyone tiptoe around Trent and then Caduceus bulldoze through the end of the meal.

Taliesin: “Damage doesn’t make you interesting or better. It’s not what makes you good. Character isn’t found in damage. Just recovery.”

Brian & Marisha commiserate going through the stage where believing surviving something automatically made you a stronger person, better for the pain; instead it just meant you had to pick up the pieces after. Marisha talks about how strength through survival may be true for some people, but it shouldn’t be considered a necessity. Taliesin talks about how he used to think he had to be miserable to write. Brian talks about how believing he liked reading and writing miserable things only limited him for years.

Marisha feels it’s a C2 theme that almost all the PCs have someone trying to handwave or take credit for their accomplishments or explain their pain as being for their own good (Trent, Beau’s dad, Obann). She thinks it’s interesting to see all the various ways people try to take credit for your work/delegitimize you as a person. She loves that RPGs allow you to explore these odd moralities in interesting ways. The only way to fight it is to have a sense of your own self-worth, which is a problem a lot of the M9 started with.

Caduceus likes everyone, and really likes people who appear to need role models (Eodwulf). “With the right friends and the right bar and the right attitude, I think he’d be okay. Come over here where it’s so much better. That seems like an exhausting friendship that you have there.”

Marisha loves the mix of personalities in the M9; Veth, Cad, & Jester were all “we kind of like them!” after the dinner, and she immediately made eye contact with Travis and they both shook their heads. She knows Beau has to go along with it for Caleb’s sake for now, but she & Fjord are pretty sus of Trent’s proteges.

Beau is less concerned about Artagan’s relationship to Jester because “he showed his ass--she’s less worried about Jester now because a little of the magic is gone.” It’s a little like becoming an adult and realizing your parents are also just adults & human. Caduceus wasn’t suspicious of the Traveler for a long time until they got to the island. Aside: Taliesin loves the pantheon in D&D. “The notion of attempting to apply common Western conceptions of religion to a world where you have a pantheon of interventionist gods as baseline makes no sense to me. Everyone admits that every other god is there and doing shit; it has more in common with ancient Rome than anything else.” Now that he knows it was a con, he feels the wind had been taken out of it. He does have a sense that Jester’s gotten back together with an ex: “I hope that I’m really happy for you.” They’re both interested to see how Jester navigates the new relationship.

My internet goes out, of course. I panic for a second, thinking I’ve lost everything above, but all is well! Thanks, Form History Control addon!

Marisha loved punching Artagan, but regretting rolling so poorly. “I miss violence.” Dani lets us know it’s been about four episodes since the last battle.

There’s no way the Cobalt Reserve doesn’t have a single document on the Eyes of Nine. Beau believes “there are no real secrets” because people are just bad at not writing things down. For there to be no information at all seems really suspicious for her.

Fanart of the Week: @oddalchemist on twitter with some awesome Beau conspiracy red-thread boards overlaid a distant shadowy Molly walking away.

Caduceus feels a little guilty for really enjoying his time right now with the M9 and not wanting to go home. He’s starting to suspect that he’s going to go home very different than when he left. “He has the softest problems. I don’t know if I want to move back in with Mom & Dad.”

Beau is trying to get comfortable with the idea of being happy. Jester is probably Beau’s first real best friend & one of the first healthy female friendships she’s ever had. As long as she still has Jester in her life, she doesn’t care. For Yasha... “At the end of the day, Beau is a lonely person and has always been a lonely person. And I think you kinda reach this point where once you’re not lonely anymore, you can kind of come out of the fog and realize that was horrible! And terrifying! And is even more terrifying now that I know what I could have, and I don’t want to go back to that. At the end of the day Beau doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. There’s always been that flirtation with Yasha, but everyone had to figure their own shit out. And now it feels like it’s coming out a little bit of that haze, maybe this actually could be...” There are a lot of ways they complement each other & are good-different from each other. Marisha believes people can be attracted to more than person at once.

Caduceus doesn’t think nature turned against him on Rumblecusp, it was just a reality of nature being dangerous and violent. “He has a complex relationship with nature.” He doesn’t expect special treatment.

Thoughts on the mansion: “Man, it’s nice to be seen.” Marisha: “I don’t know how I ended up becoming the Scanlan of this campaign, but I’m living for it.” It felt like an echo of “I’m better for having known you.” They compare Marisha taking specific notes on the campaign to Liam taking specific notes on people’s favorite tapestries, comics, etc.

They talk about missing theme parks and daydream a park version of the mansion in CritRoleLand. It’s lovely.

Taliesin never expected Divine Intervention to work; he just wanted to roll some dice. He’s still processing what he saw/heard. They all agree it was very useful in the Vokodo fight.

Vilya! Marisha: “Ah! Ah! Ah!” As a player, Marisha was so deep in Beau’s eyes she didn’t pick up it was Vilya at first (especially since Matt really emphasized they should not be looking for C1 NPCs). Marisha’s brain melted. She bawled her eyes out on the ride home after that episode. Right after it ended, Laura told Marisha “Keyleth finally gets her happy ending,” and it makes Marisha emotional again since Keyleth’s story ended so bittersweetly. She talks about the very real feelings of “just wanting them to be happy, though!” She went back and listened to all her old Keyleth playlists. Everyone was teary after the episode. “Everyone has these 100% real memories of being these characters and having these good times.”

And that’s that for that! Thanks for your patience, all, and is it Thursday yet?

[omegaverserping]

(Resending since mine got burried!)

Name: Popcorn

URL: emptycrockpot9000

Age: 18+

Preferred Way of RPing: Discord

Time Zone: GMT+8 (I stay up quite late, don't worry!)

1st, 2nd, 3rd POV: Third Person

Preferred Role: Alpha

Preferred Pairing: M/M

Fandom or Oc's: Primarily Oc's, since I find fandoms more difficult to work with. Doesn't mean I don't do them though! I just prefer to be really familliar with the fandom before anything!

Favorite AU's: I enjoy most AU's, really, and I might not get to list them all in here. I do enjoy fantasy, medieval, royalty, futuristic, arranged marriage, etc... They aren't just limited to these, though!

Triggers: N/A

Preferred Length When replying: I like detail and description, plus I'm a sucker for long responses but you don't have to go full novella- though that would be nice, too. 4-5 paragraphs is good enough for me, just please no one-liners or anything similar to that.

How Long Would You Like to RP For: Longterm, if that's possible!

Omegaverse Tropes That You DO NOT Like to Use: I'm open to a lot of them, so I don't think there's one that I have a particular dislike for at the moment. I'll say so if I feel uncomfortable, though! You tell me so as well, so we're clear.

Anything Else You would Like to Mention: I really like in depth detail in rps. I love world building- even down the most insignificant detail! I eat stuff like deep lores and characters up. I love seeing growth and development in the rp as well, so I'd really rather not jump things immediately and just let the chatacters grow first. I also like drama in my roleplays, to spice things up! It could be a false death, a sudden break-up, whatever! As long as it gives more life to the rp and makes it more interesting. I am also a big fan of angst, whump, etc... anything you can throw my way and I'll probably take a liking to it! Conversations outside of rp? I'm open to that as well! I love talking about our characters- why they're that way or delving into their personalities- or just general memes and fun.

[fanfictionaries]

The Seduction of Sirius Black - Part 1

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Sirius Black

Summary:

Hermione loves her boyfriend, but there’s just one little problem -- she’s hopelessly attracted to Sirius Black. 

Warnings: Swearing, Smut/18+ NSFW, Angst, Ron bashing (sorry) 

Author’s Note: Posting some old stuff! Honestly, editing it has been a nice lead back into really writing. Very cathartic! 

Also, apologies for the Ron bashing in this story. I know it’s a stupid trope and to a certain extent I really enjoy Ron as a character, buuuuut I’m using it as a cheap way to move plot. 

ALSO, this is obviously a AU where Sirius didn’t die in the Department of Mysteries. 

ALSO (and this is the last one I swear), I AM a big fan of Wolfstar but I also have daddy issues and find Sirius Black extremely attractive and this is my tumblr so I can write the stories I want I guess. Haha Not to mention, Sirius Black gives BIG bisexual energy.  

MASTERLIST

*** 

Hermione didn’t really know when it had happened – this attraction to Sirius Black. It wasn’t as if she had woken up one day with the sudden urge to jump across the table and shag the older wizard into the next life. The whole thing had occurred much more gradually than that, she supposed. However, despite all of the trivial aspects of her…situation, Hermione chose instead to focus purely on the fact that he was entirely off limits. For many reasons. There was no way anyone in her close-knit circle of friends would be okay with her becoming entangled with a man more than twice her age and who also happened to be her best friend’s god father. It would be unacceptable. It would be impractical. Most of all it would be highly inappropriate as she was currently dating her other best friend, Ronald Weasley.

She supposed the attraction was inevitable to a certain degree. At the beginning, nearly a year and half ago, things like physical attraction were far from her mind. She’d just started her new position at the Ministry, Harry and Ron were training to be Aurors, the war had just come to an end and thus her life was a whirlwind of people and places. But over time things slowed down. Ronald was stationed away on official Auror business more and more often, leaving very little time for him to visit her and when he did come back, he had to split his time between her and his large family. Harry, having waited for Ginny to finish her final year at Hogwarts, had gone and married her the summer after and for all intents and purposes abandoned her. Harry…

It was really all Harry’s fault. Or at least that’s what Hermione liked to think whenever she felt her heart skip and her pulse slip between her thighs in Sirius Black’s presence. It had been Harry’s idea for Hermione to move into Grimmauld Place with him and Sirius after the war. Family, it seemed, had taken an important role in everyone’s lives when Lord Voldemort fell for the final time. All of the Weasley children had moved back to their childhood home of the Burrow – even Charlie much to everyone’s great surprise and delight. Tonks and Remus moved in with her mother and father, Andromeda and Theodore, to bask in the cheer of their newborn baby Teddy. And Harry had moved in with Sirius. Everyone had felt the need to be closer than ever to the ones that they loved, and Hermione completely understood that need. In fact, if she had had a family to go to, she would have moved in with them as well. But her parents were still in Australia somewhere, the location even unknown to herself as she’d designed it that way. Harry, being fully aware of this fact, insisted that she move in with him and Sirius. Hermione had been fully prepared to get her own flat in London. But after a bit of prodding she’d accepted Harry’s offer, secretly grateful that her best friend was so kind and thoughtful. Now, she probably cursed him name at least five times a day.

Hermione had been happy for him and Ginny when they announced their engagement. She’d cried not only when Ginny asked her to be her maid of honor, but also when the two had said their ‘I do’s. However, Harry moved out of Grimmauld Place following their marriage and subsequently left her to live with Sirius Black all by herself. So now she sat in the quaint little kitchen of the Black home, sipping her morning tea, and trying incredibly hard to keep her attention on her book rather than glance up at the rugged wizard sitting across from her.

“Hmpf” Sirius let out the little sound of surprise before continuing, “Would you look at that. Sources say that while Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, announces no final decisions have been made in regard to the recent Magical Creature Equality Act proposed last month, there are certain voices in the Ministry that are persuading not only the members of the Wizengamot, but the Minister himself to vote yes for magical creature equality.” He read the words aloud, peaking over his paper at her and raising his eyebrows. “I wonder who those certain voices or voice is…” he mused humorously.

It was no secret that shortly after being appointed a position in the Ministry department of Magical Creatures, Hermione had gone about being a personal activist for Magical Creature rights. Merlin, she had written almost the entire Act herself. Her hand still cramped at the thought of the hours she spent in her office and the library at Grimmauld Place scribbling away with her quill.

“No idea,” Hermione responded, feigning ignorance but blushing all the same in embarrassment. She kept her eyes on the pages of her book but found no matter how many times she read and reread the same paragraph she couldn’t retain it. Slowly her eyes shifted to the man in front of her. His gaze was fixed on the paper and so she was free to take him in. He had just showered, his wavy brown hair hanging damp to his shoulders. It made him look, in her opinion, especially delectable that morning. Hermione felt herself blush even deeper at the lewd thoughts threatening to enter her mind before looking back down at her book and scolding herself.

“So, when is Ronald coming for a visit again? Need me to clear off any time soon?” Sirius asked, sparking up conversation after the long bout of silence.

“Unfortunately, he won’t be back till next month,” she sighed, ignoring the second half of Sirius’s question.

“Well that’s not too bad I suppose—” Sirius smiled warmly and set down his paper as he stood up “—It gives you plenty of time to focus on getting the Ministry on board with your Act before you’re…distracted.” Sirius added the last part with a teasing implication not lost on Hermione.

“My Act?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow jokingly as she stood up as well and took her teacup to the sink. She grabbed the sponge to begin washing up when Sirius took it from her hand.

“I can do the washing up. You’re going to be late for work. Besides, it’s not like I work or anything. Might as well do something productive today,” he stated dryly, turning on the tap.

“Hmm, yes. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You’ve become quite the lay-about. When are you going to get a job and start contributing to the household?” Hermione asked cheekily.

“Lay-about? Need I remind you that this is my house that you live in, rent free. You’re lucky a kind old man like me has taken a liking to you, or you’d be on the streets, kitten,” Sirius said, flicking some water off his fingertips in her direction.

“More like taken pity on me—” Hermione shook her head “—and you’re far from an old man, Sirius. I swear, you’d like people to think you’re closer to eighty than twenty!” She exited the kitchen and slipped into her heels next to the front door.

“Mind picking up some milk on your way home, kitten? We’re almost out!” Sirius called out to her, ignoring her statement on his age. Hermione tried not to focus on the way her stomach flipped in response to Sirius using his nickname for her for a second time that morning.

“Sure thing!” she called back before exiting the front door and apparating the moment she hit the sidewalk.

Hermione found it very difficult to work that day. The summer heat had become abysmal, proving to be quite the sticky, humid season, and of course that meant the Ministry’s cooling charms were on the fritz. By the time the day was over, Hermione’s hair had grown three times its size. Catching her reflection in a Ministry window, Hermione had gasped at its state. Even she hadn’t known it could get that big. In addition, her silk blouse that she had tucked into a polyester pencil skirt had become damp and uncomfortable from the sweat that accumulated on her body throughout the day.  And even after casting multiple drying spells to herself and her clothes, there was still nothing she could do about her hair. To add to her physical discomfort, she also struggled with a mental discomfort as well. Ron had been plaguing her mind all day long.

Ronald Weasley. Her oldest friend, now boyfriend. It hadn’t been a shock to anyone when they had gotten together after the war had ended. It had almost been expected in fact. She’d liked him since third year and aside from his short tryst with Lavender Brown, it had been obvious they would be together. Hermione loved Ron, she really did, but he was gone so often. Gone often and when he was home things felt…off. His affection seemed to have waned and Hermione was left thinking that perhaps it had something to do with her. Every time he chose to kiss her cheek as opposed to her lips or pat her leg friendly instead of holding her hand Hermione felt a little blow to her confidence. Bitterly she thought of how he and Lavender had been all over each other sixth year. She certainly wouldn’t enjoy having Ron’s tongue shoved down her throat in broad daylight, but surely, it’d be nice to have him show a bit of affection. In the beginning he’d been much more enthusiastic. They would often sneak off for a cheeky snog and hands often lingered under tables. They’d even gone all the way. It had been romantic and sweet, and Ron had certainly enjoyed himself. Or at least she thought he had. But now she wasn’t so sure. Maybe she’d been rubbish at it and he didn’t know how to tell her. Maybe he just didn’t find her attractive anymore. She had put on a bit of weight in the past year and a half. Hermione figured it was for the best as she was no longer starving to death on the run from Voldemort and his Death Eaters. But now when she looked in the mirror her eyes focused for too long on the swell of her breasts, the curve of her hips, the thickness of her thighs, and the softness of her stomach.

Despite this possibility, Hermione couldn’t help but feel guilty about her lustful thoughts involving Sirius. She often tried to reason with herself that it was perfectly normal to feel such base emotions. Everyone had them and as long as she didn’t act on them, she was fine. She was just lonely, and Sirius was there.

Resolving to speak with Ron about her concerns when he returned in a week, Hermione shook the troubling thoughts from her head and continued down Diagon Alley, intending to just pop by the small corner store at the end for some milk and maybe some ice-cream for later. She needed a small pick-me-up after the day she’d had. Jogging the last few steps to the corner store, Hermione pulled open the heavy door and sighed happily as the cooling charms inside enveloped her. She wiped her forehead with her arm and headed to the back of the store where the freezer section was. The store was practically deserted aside from a single witch staring at the ice pops with a heavy look of concentration. Hermione walked up next to her to stare at the ice-cream choices and smiled when she spotted the Rocky Road. It was Ron’s favorite.

“It’s a scorcher out there, innit?” commented the witch, her thick London accent coming through endearingly sweet. Hermione looked to her left and took in the girl. She was thin and tan with beautiful golden hair tied up into a long ponytail. She had a friendly, heart-shaped face and sparkly green eyes. Something about her seemed familiar – Hermione must have seen her somewhere before.

“I’m practically melting,” agreed Hermione, shaking her head, and grabbing the Rocky Road, thinking she would have that tonight rather than her usual Mint Chocolate-Chip.

“Any fun plans for the heat?” the pretty blonde asked casually, grabbing a box of grape ice pops and a carton of Rocky Road ice-cream as well.

“Not really. Probably just go home and cast as many cooling charms as possible—” Hermione crinkled her nose and quirked the corner of her mouth in a wry grin “—Yourself?”

“Me and my boyfriend are planning a nice night in. He’s just got back from assignment with the Ministry. He’s an Auror, so we’re doing a bit of celebrating before he has to go back.” The girl smiled, her voice heavy with adoration.

“How nice! My boyfriend’s an Auror as well.”

“Really?” the girl asked, eyes lighting up.

“Yes, he’s actually away on assignment right now. I wonder if they know—” Hermione had been about to ask if perhaps their respective partners were familiar with each other when a voice called out from the end of the aisle.

“Babe, they didn’t have the crisps you like, but—” Basket hanging from one hand and a bag of Salt and Vinegar crisps in the other, Ron stopped dead in his tracts at the sight of Hermione. His eyes grew wide, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “’Mione?”

Hermione stared back too, but unlike Ron she was unable to find her voice. Instead she just stared. Ron was back from assignment? Why hadn’t he told her? What was he doing there? Why was he calling this girl babe when—

“Wait—‘Mione? As in Hermione Granger?” the witch asked, taking a step back from Hermione and towards Ron. She looked at Hermione with wide, incredulous eyes. “Oh my gosh, I feel so foolish. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you.”

Hermione looked on in confusion as she watched the witch hook her arm in Ron’s and smile politely back at her.

“Hermione,” Ron said her name again, but Hermione was too busy taking the two of them in. She felt like an absolute fool. The carton of Rocky Road slipped from her fingers and landed on the linoleum floor of the shop with a dull thud. Then, in a panic, Hermione turned on the spot and fled, hearing Ron’s call after her mix with a small ‘Oh my’ from the pretty blonde witch.

There were a million places Hermione could have gone. There were a million places Hermione should have gone. All of them much better choices than the seedy little muggle bar she found just outside of Diagon Alley. She should have gone home. Or to Harry. Or to Ginny. The smart choice was to tell someone what had happened and to talk it out. But instead, she spent the next four hours doing her best to get well and truly pissed. Drinking wasn’t like Hermione and certainly the first glass of whiskey had been hard to get down. But she found after the first two, she hardly tasted the biting liquid anymore and the dulling effect of the alcohol was just so nice.

It was just past ten in the evening when Hermione left the bar, tipping this way and that way in her heels and feeling exceptionally light-headed. The night had cooled down and the sun had just set, allowing Hermione to feel some semblance of relief as she walked down the street to a nearby alleyway. It probably wasn’t the best idea to apparate when she was so inebriated, but Hermione wasn’t really thinking in that moment. She just knew she didn’t want to walk. Thankfully, she managed to land, although very ungracefully, in front of Grimmauld Place without splinching herself.

“Shit,” Hermione whispered followed by a snort of laughter when she tripped over the threshold after finally getting her key in the keyhole. The world had gone all wobbly it had taken her ages to find the right key and get it in the lock. Closing the front door as quietly behind her as possible Hermione found herself overtaken by the strong urge to laugh again. Hermione Granger was well and truly sloshed and for some reason she found that to be very funny.

“Hermione?”

Hermione jumped at her name, letting out a little shriek as she turned around and found Sirius standing in the hall. The hall was dark, but light streamed out through the doorway to the kitchen illuminating him in long shadows where he stood, arms crossed.

“Sirius—” Hermione held a hand to her heart, feeling it beat wildly in her chest. “I didn’t think you’d still be up.”

“It’s past eleven, where have you been?” There was a strange tone to his voice, like he was angry with her but also like he was speaking to a small, frightened animal.

Past eleven? How long had it taken her to unlock the front door?

“I was—” Hermione tripped on the rug, catching herself on the wall and letting out another little laugh “—I stopped and had a little post-work drink.” Her words were slurred, even to her own ears and she laughed again, holding a hand over mouth in embarrassment. “Well, maybe one or two post-work drinks.”

“Are you drunk, kitten?” Sirius asked, sounding amused now.

Hermione continued down the hall, getting closer and closer to Sirius. Each step was a new struggle. A trip here, a wobble there. But Hermione didn’t care. In fact, she felt…good. Free almost. “Maaaaybe,” she drawled, giggling like a small child as she closed the last bit of distance and swayed before Sirius.

He stared down at her, arms now uncrossed as he seemed to be trying to figure out whether he should be amused or concerned. Hermione’s mouth went dry. Now that she was closer, she could see him more clearly and Merlin did she see him. There was a shadow of facial hair across his square jaw, and down his neck. Hermione found herself wondering what it felt like – whether it was soft or rough. Gaze traveling down the thickness of his neck she found his upperhalf bare, the only thing covering his torso, an open robe revealing the inky black of his tattoos. She loved his tattoos. They made him look dangerous. Mysterious. Hot. His chest was free of hair, the lean muscles dipping low and high like delicious hills and valleys she’d so like to explore. In fact…she reached out a hand, her body working opposite of a clear head as her fingertips tentatively touched the smooth planes of Sirius’ chest. He was warm.

He went sort of rigid under her touch, but Hermione barely noticed. Instead she was too entranced by the feel of him. Had she ever touched him before? She didn’t think she had. Her gazed traveled further south and with it, so did her fingertips. Ghosting down the center of his chest from sternum to bellybutton, she blushed furiously at the sight of thick dark hair starting at his navel and disappearing below a pair of pajama pants that sat dangerously low on his hips. She swallowed thickly, her breath coming in thick hot puffs as her hand traveled further, barely brushing the thick hair before a hand shot out and grasped her wrist.

Hermione gasped, looking up suddenly into the stormy eyes of Sirius Black before her. He lifted her wrist to shoulder height, pulling her forward slightly as he did it. The distance between them closed even more.

“Kitten.” It was a warning. Hermione knew it. But for some reason her whiskey-idled brain didn’t care. She liked the risk behind his tone. Her body practically purred at the sound of his special nickname just for her – the irony of that sentiment lost on her in the moment.

“Yes, Sirius?” she responded, her voice coming out deep and breathy and dare she say seductive? Hermione had never sounded like that before. She kind of liked it. Looking up at him with her best attempt at innocent eyes, she waited for him to say something.

Sirius stared down at her, his face a stony mask, but a war was raging behind his eyes. Hermione’s gaze flickered from the stormy grey of his eyes to the fullness of his lips and back up. With a deep breath and a long swallow that made his Adam’s apple bob in a mouth-watering way, Sirius finally spoke.

“You should go to bed.”

Hermione huffed, a bit like a petulant child but not quite as bratty. “What if I don’t want to?”

“It wasn’t really a suggestion.” His tone was dark, and it sent a surprising thrill through Hermione’s body. Her center throbbed. Her breath hitched. Maybe it was all in her head – this thick tension between them. Or maybe it wasn’t. It was certainly taboo, this…energy radiating between them. But Hermione didn’t really care because in that moment she made the sudden realization that she could have this. She could have this and not be the bad guy. Ron was the bad guy. All those months of guilt for feeling basic human attraction and he was off shagging some beautiful, leggy blonde. But now…she didn’t have to feel guilty anymore.

Before she could stop herself, Hermione lifted up onto her toes and closed the distance between them. Their lips pressed together for a moment, firm and warm. When Sirius failed to respond, Hermione’s stomach dropped, and she made the mortifying realization that he didn’t want to kiss her. She was just beginning to pull away, an apology poised on her lips when the grip on her wrist vanished and reappeared around her waist, pulling her in tightly as Sirius’s lips claimed her own.

It all happened very quickly. A meshing of lips and teeth and tongue that left her hot, sticky, and out of breath. Before she knew it, she was being pushed up against the wall of the hallway, her back and head hitting the plaster hard, but she did not care. The only thing she could focus on was the feeling of Sirius’s lips on her own and the hot cloud of their shared breath.

His hands remained wrapped tightly around her torso, gripping the material of her blouse in his fists, but Hermione’s hands were everywhere. She wanted to touch all of him, and she was determined to do so. It wasn’t until her hands wound themselves around his neck and threaded up into his hair, gripping the strands vice-like, that Sirius broke. He let out a ragged groan before moving his hands from around her waist to her front. Grabbing the material of her blouse in each hand, he gave a great tug, not even bothering to try and unbutton it. Hermione gasped at the sound of ripping fabric and the pop of her blouse buttons. Cool air brushing her sensitive skin and the hitch in his breath made Hermione acutely aware that she was now bare to him from the waist up. She remembered the bra she’d chosen to wear that day – a thin and see-through number that cupped her breasts perfectly but left little to the imagination. He was kissing her neck then, sucking and biting in ways that left her breathless and needy. His hands covered her breasts, kneading and stroking in a gentle way that contrasted so strikingly with how he was attacking her neck.

The only thing Hermione could do in that moment was hold on for dear life. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest and when Sirius’s mouth traveled south to envelope of her nipples, she thought that actually had. She let out a low, needy moan and arched into him. Feeling bold, she slid a hand from his hair, down the firm planes of his chest and to the front of his pajama bottoms. At the feel of his hard length she whined, high and breathy. Her hand had been there for barely a moment before Sirius tore away from her, distancing himself the width of the hallway. Hermione leaned against the wall behind her, needing the stability of it to stay upright due to her still drunk nature and the shaky state of her legs.

“What?” she asked, looking at the panting man across from her with confusion.

Sirius stared at her for a moment, chest falling up and down as pieces of his thick dark hair hung in his face. Hermione tried to focus but the only thing she could think of was how much she wanted to brush that hair from his gorgeous features so she could see him more clearly.

“You’re drunk. You should go to bed,” said Sirius, his voice low and gravely and filled with an edge of regret.

“But—” Hermione hesitated, confused at his response “—I don’t understand.” She crossed the distance between them, kissing up the older wizard’s neck. Did he think she didn’t want this?

“Kitten.” Sirius’s voice was strained, but he still managed to grab Hermione’s wandering hands and push her away again. Hermione gasped at his rough touch as he pulled her off of him. “I said you should go to bed.”

Hermione stared up at him in shock for a moment before a surprising rage filled her. Was she not good enough for him? Was she not pretty enough? Did he not enjoy what they’d been doing? The hot sting of angry tears reached the inner corners of her eyes and she tore out of Sirius’s grip before stomping up the stairs towards her room with a huff.

Part 2

[emilycollins00]

Muku + Azami headcanons

For lovely @skateboarding-poet!

It’s my first time writing a rareship but I had so much fun! These two are just so precious, I love them to pieces. Please enjoy! 💕

This ship is basically nonchalantic innocence meets bubbly dreamland and is gorgeous.

Azami might not get why Muku likes reading shojo so much, but while he can feel he’s going to hell just from hearing all the indecent things his boyfriend has read... he won’t judge too much overall.

Muku likes them and they are important to him, so now they are important to Azami too within certains limits of course

Others are not extended the same courtesy though, a.k.a Sakyo

Both of his personalities are pretty calm and chill so whenever they go on dates it’s all about walking around Veludo to shop for make-up and books, visiting animal cafes or just staying at the dorm in each other’s rooms.

Muku adores listening to Azami’s voice. He also discovers Azami tends to hum whenever he’s in a good mood so the summer troupe member will usually peak over the manga he’s reading, his heart skipping a beat at the soft sounds.

I also feel like Azami is not really one to expect praises out of nowhere, so when Muku starts compliment him -as the ball of sunshine he is with no filter whatsoever-.

“...Need something?”

“Oh,no! I was just thinking I really love your eyes Azami-kun, they are  beautiful!”

Azami can never anticipate those and becomes an absolute mess.

On a similar note I don’t think Azami is a looks person as much as he is a personality person, but he can’t deny just how pretty Muku is?? 

Everyone in Mankai can see his eyes softening while unconciously staring at the pink-haired helping Izumi with the dishes or laughing at Misumi’s antics and it’s so blatantly clear how in love he is.

Kisses are too much for Azami’s heart at the beginning of their relationship though, maybe a peck on the cheeks in private but he’s NOT a pervert okay??

The first time Muku ever reached out to held Azami’s hand, boy swore his heart stopped.

“Wha-! A-at least wait until we are married dammit!”

“R-right, I’m sorry! I just thought that- um, your hands always look so soft b-but of course my hands are sweaty and they-”

Before he finishes, a pinkie intertwines with his. Muku has never seen the boy’s ears in such a red color “Azami-kun?”

“Just don’t look at me, okay?. God this is so...”

After the initial shock, Muku squeezes back giggling. 

Later that night, both are still glancing at their own pinkies in their respective rooms and im soft about it.

Of course the whole yakuza family knows Muku by now wouldn’t expect less and you better believe that boy will be protected for life. The Sakisaka’s also adore Azami who brings them the best skin products choosen with the utmost care.

Muku asking opinion to Azuma, Yuki and Sakoda gift ideas for Azami for being always so attentive but he’s so lost.

CDs?? Make up? ah, but make up is expensive, and what if he already has them or worst what if he hates them or-

In the end he makes wool felt dolls of them with Omi’s help. 

“A-as I thought it’s really childish, right? I’m sorry I should have just-!”

“Are they for me”

“Uh?”

“The dolls” Azami takes the one that looks like Muku and glances at the young boy.

“Oh! um- yeah!”

The dolls are now sitting next to each other in his desk and NO ONE is allowed to touch them.

Anyway, Muku going starry-eyed whenever he sees Azami’s skills in action.

Also, whenever Azami gets injured or he just genuinely feels tired from rehearsals, Muku takes his hand unconsciously and places a kiss on it and Azami becomes a blushing mess right away.

But in general Muku knows just how reserved Azami is in the romantic aspect and won’t push him out of his comfort zone until he’s comfortable.

Still, Azami will be more likely to show PDA if he senses Muku needs a comforting presence, tiny kisses in his forehead are a must.

All in all it’s a quiet and slow love, but neither of them would change it for anything.

Extra!

Azami had never been good at showing his feelings, or at least that’s what he heard from others since he was young- deadpan face was it?- he didn’t remember much.

Reality though was quite the opposite. He always seemed to feel too much, respond too quick in waves of emotions. His determination and strong fuse if pressed wrongly often gave him troubles so he opted to lay low, or at least, that was before he entered Mankai.

And then- god, then there was Muku, who had amplified those feelings beyond what he thought it was possible.

Much to Azami’s own surprise due to their evident views on love and its approach, the pink-haired boy had become someone who was eager to learn everything about him, who accepted both the good and the bad. Someone who accepted his passion and pride.

“Azami-kun, you are amazing!”

Of course he had fallen in love.

                                                             .                                                           .

It was a fuzzy feeling whenever lights were out for the day and Azami still got messages from the young summer member, even if they had said their goodbyes half an hour ago before heading to their respectives rooms. It was the Muku who started them most of the time, usually to rant on him about the last story he was reading in a failed attempt to warm Azami up towards that hell of a perverted genre, but he would lie if he said he hadn’t gotten used to them.

His phone vibrates, a light signaling a new message once again.

What do you think, won’t you consider it? It’s one of the best I’ve read!

Azami rolls his eyes, but there’s a fond smile on his face. His thumb scrolls down softly over the five continuous paragraphs -new record, he also noticed- that consisted the review of Muku’s manga before texting back.

Already told you. Just find me one where there’s no kissing, holding hands or any of that perverted stuff you and that shitty old man enjoy and then I’ll read it.

He could practically visualize the pout forming on Muku’s face as he read his response.

But that kind of shojo manga isn’t romantic at all!

He chuckles. Being in a relationship before marriage was something he had swore wouldn’t happen to him. But his feelings for Muku were real, and he wouldn’t changed them for the world.

Checking the time, he saw it was getting late- they shouldn’t cut more hours for their skin to rest. He was about to write back to notify Muku of his plans to go to sleep when he saw an audio. Turquoise eyes frowned as he tilted his head confused. Muku had never sent him audios before, mainly because they saw each other every day.

He laid back, resting his head on the pillow and clicked on it, vaguely curious.

There it was, that characteristic bubbly voice Azami had learned to distinguish, quieted down probably to not bother Kazunari. Just what-?

“Sweet dreams, Azami-kun”

He definitely jolted and quickly turned to Sakyo’s side, containing his breath until he noticed the annoying snores from his bed. All compose had left him in those three seconds the audio lasted, and Azami swears his chest did a backflip on its own. 

“What the hell...?”

Muku really wasn’t aware of the weigh of his own words.

He stares at the phone, his mind registering what had just happened. Then, as if in a trance, he’s barely aware of his actions before his finger presses the audio again- just one more time.

“Sweet dreams, Azami-kun”

One more time.

“Sweet dreams, Azami-kun”

One more time.

“Sweet dreams-”

One more time.

He could feel the sound of his smile over the phone. The way he drew out his name, so full of affection. His tone was warm and light, and how was he supposed to sleep now, Azami didn’t know.

Groaning, the autumn member covers his face with the back of his hand. Shit, he’s so embarrassed he can feel the heat growing on his cheeks and ears.

He rolls on the bed, taking a quick glance at the few photos of Mankai Omi gave him once to decorate the empty wall. A special warmth showers Azami when he makes contact with those purple eyes, always gentle. They looked back at him with a softness he had rarely encountered before and a smile that made his heart once again leap on his chest.

Oh, he was so done.

“He’s gonna kill me…he’s gonna fuckin’ kill me…”

And yet, he played it once again.

__________________________________________________________

Wishing everyone a wonderful day!  💕