#probably will give the rest to someone else
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notlongtolove · 20 hours ago
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the cup holds the tea
it hits you all at once and you’re out of the booth in a flash, spencer right behind you. you’ve barely made it to the sidewalk when the drinks betray you—straight onto spencer’s shoes. the world blurs, and all you can think, mortified, is that you’ve just broken one of the cardinal rules of dating.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)
genre: fluff
content: bau!reader has too much to drink and its up to bf!spencer to get her home. and brief mentions of puke... oh reader...
word count: 3k
note: well personally i don't know if i could ever love someone enough where i would lay on my bed in my 'outside clothes' but good on you spence! once i slipped and fell in someone's puke and cried all the way home.
a line: They’ve seen Spencer look at a thousand things with fascination—books, theories, puzzles, statistics. But this? This is something else entirely.
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It is a kind of love, is it not? How the cup holds the tea, How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare, How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes Or toes. How soles of feet know Where they’re supposed to be. - pat schneider
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The room hangs on your words, the perfect moment of suspense stretched like a tightrope. You let it linger, savoring the pause.
“And they ate every last drop of it!”
The punchline lands, and laughter spills out around the table, loud and easy. You beam. Spencer watches you, his gaze warm, almost reverent. He’s always known you had this gift—how you could spin a story, command a room. If he weren’t so completely in love with you, he might’ve envied it. No amount of books or degrees could teach him your knack for recounting stories with such flair, or your ability to whip up comebacks at speeds that leave even Derek speechless.
Spencer’s lucky, and he knows it. His eyes trace the curve of your smile as you sip from your glass, your third—or fourth? He’s lost count. He notices you’re not wincing at its taste anymore and well, you know what they say when the drinks start to taste like water. The fact that you’re tearing up at something Garcia’s showing you—a sloth video, from what he can tell, doesn’t ease his worries in the slightest either. He's not entirely sure what Emily has been ordering for the table but whatever it is, it’s clearly doing its job.
It’s one of those rare nights out, the kind where the team sets work aside and pretends, for a few hours, that the weight of the world isn’t on their shoulders. Rossi had insisted, his treat he said, but Spencer suspects it was just an excuse for the team to watch you two loosen up, to let your guard down. A carefully orchestrated opportunity for the team to see something they hardly ever got to see. They’ve seen you two in the field, sharp and focused, in sync like clockwork. But tonight it's the way you lean into Spencer’s side without realizing it, the way Spencer gently moves your glass out of harm’s way when you gesture too wildly. This is a glimpse of something sacred, something rare.
It’d only been about a month since you and Spencer had made it official. Everyone saw it coming long before you did, but that didn’t stop the teasing once the news broke. They could barely pick their jaws up from off the floor even tonight when Spencer had his hand resting lightly on your waist, steadying you through the crowd as you laughed yourself breathless, stumbling. At work, you both keep it professional, steering clear of anything that might make Hotch raise an eyebrow. But the dim light of the bar is ever so tempting. The bar is full of loud laughter and clinking glasses and you just can’t help but take Spencer's hand into yours, fingers laced without hesitation. 
Spencer catches the way Derek’s eyes light up at the sight, the subtle nudge he gives Emily. He knows they’re going to bring this up later, probably all week.
But he doesn’t move his hand. He doesn’t let go.
The booth is packed tight as you’re all wedged together, shoulders brushing. Everyone’s smiling, unwinding in a way you rarely allow yourselves to, laughter bouncing in overlapping bursts. Spencer sits nursing his water, content to observe. His eyes are drawn back to you over and over, catching on the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh and the animated gestures of you make as you speak.
“C’mon, pretty boy, live a little,” Derek teases, “Just one drink.”
Spencer gives a sheepish smile, waving it off. “I’m fine,” he says, eyes flicking over to you once more.
He can’t keep his eyes off you tonight, it seems. You’re laughing, and It’s unmistakable, the adoration in his gaze, something so un-Spencer-like that makes Derek smile.
He knows Spencer’s not one to drink. You, on the other hand, seem a little too eager, maybe encouraged by Emily’s coaxing, and you’re already on your next drink, cheeks bright and eyes sparkling. You lean into Garcia’s cheers, your glass lifted high. Your laughter is bright and unrestrained, pulling everyone else along with it.
Spencer considers saying something when you're giggling a little more than usual, laughing too hard at a joke that doesn't warrant it. But he knows how you’d take it. You’d wave him off with that familiar insistence, the same as always. It wasn't like you couldn't hold your own, Spencer knows that. You’d held your own at Rossi’s birthday last year just fine, outlasting nearly everyone—everyone except Rossi of course. And that’s probably why he’d already taken his leave tonight, not wanting to get caught in the tail end of whatever chaos this night will inevitably bring.
But that was then and now— Well, it’s different now. Now, the role of boyfriend sits heavier on his shoulders, a title he’s all too happy to hold. And tonight, it’s a card he’s all too happy to play. It gives him leverage, an edge that makes him feel like he has a little more room to step in without you pulling the I don’t need anyone to take care of me speech. 
Spencer sees his opening as lean back into his side a little too comfortably. “Here,” he murmurs, pressing his glass into your hand. “Drink this.”
He hopes you’re just tipsy enough not to ask too many questions, as long as it’s something from the bar. For a moment, it seems like it works—you sit up, eyeing the glass cautiously, then take it from him with slow deliberation.
Almost there, he thinks.
You peer into the glass, squinting at the clear liquid, then give it a small sniff. Spencer’s heart sinks as your expression shifts.
“This is water,” you say, suspiciously.
“Yes, it is,” he admits.
Your brow furrows, the faintest pout tugging at your lips. “I’m drinking vodka.”
“And now you’re drinking water.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you, and I’d rather not carry you out of here tonight,” he says softly, the faintest flush colouring his cheeks.
You look up at him, unimpressed, but he stays firm. “Just drink the water, sweetheart,” he says quietly, his voice barely cutting through the noise.
He braces himself for your resistance. Instead, you huff, give him a pointed glare, and drink it. He watches as you sip, your nose scrunching at the lack of a bite. Spencer lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 
The night winds on, the team louder than usual, swept up in Derek’s overly dramatic retelling of the prank war that once took over the bullpen. But you’re quieter, Spencer notices, the drinks maybe finally settling in a little too fast. Your smile slower, your laughter softer, head resting on his shoulder now and again. 
And then, suddenly, you’re not looking so well. It hits you all at once. The queasy welling in your stomach, the cold sweat prickling your skin. You’re out of the booth in a flash, Spencer right behind you as you stumble toward the door, your hand clamped over your mouth. 
You’ve barely made it to the sidewalk when the drinks betray you—straight onto Spencer’s shoes. The world blurs, and all you can think, mortified, is that you’ve just broken one of the cardinal rules of dating.
Of all people it had to be Spencer—germ-conscious, always-prepared Spencer—your lovely boyfriend who at this moment you’re not sure you can ever look in the eyes again Spencer. 
You don’t have to look up to see the team’s reaction as they round the corner, wide-eyed as they process what just happened. Derek’s mouth falls open in disbelief, Emily stares in shock, and Garcia whispers a dramatic, “Oh, no…”
They’re frozen. Because Spencer—Spencer, who uses hand sanitizer like it’s an extension of his arm, Spencer who’s the first to scrunch his nose at anything remotely messy—has just had his shoes christened in the worst way. You know they’re waiting for Spencer’s reaction, the tense recoil, the carefully contained grimace.
But it doesn’t come.
Instead, Spencer pauses, takes a measured breath, and steps closer to you, his hands steady on your shoulders. “Hey,” he asks, voice low and soothing as he crouches to meet your gaze. “Sweetheart, you okay?” He brushes your hair away from your face, his touch careful and kind.
“Spence—” you mumble, your voice cracking with embarrassment. Your hands fly to cover your face. “I’m so sorry. Your shoes—oh my God, your shoes—”
Spencer shakes his head, a quiet laugh escaping as he crouches to steady you. His voice is impossibly gentle, calm in a way that eases the edges of your shame. “It’s fine. They’re just shoes,” he says softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your flushed face. “Let’s get you home, okay?” 
You nod, eyes shut, clearly mortified but he doesn’t let you dwell on it. He takes your hand, his grip firm but gentle. For a brief moment, Spencer contemplates asking the bartender for a glass of water to rinse off the mess, but he glances at you—your slightly swaying frame, the way your head droops just a little—and decides against it.
Getting you home safely takes precedence over everything else. Shoes can wait. You can’t.
Emily’s mouth falls open slightly as she watches, “Did Reid just…?” she murmurs, half to herself, as Derek gapes beside her. “Didn’t think the kid had it in him,” Derek says, shaking his head, a grin slowly spreading. Garcia sniffs, dramatically dabbing at her eyes. “I knew he loved her, but this? This is another level.” she says letting out a dreamy sigh. 
They linger, watching as Spencer guides you steadily toward the car with careful patience. He helps you in, crouching to fasten your seatbelt. You’re still mumbling apologies, your voice thick with embarrassment, but Spencer doesn’t falter. Instead, he shrugs off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders even as the mess on his shoes remains. There’s not even a hint of disgust on his face—if anything, he’s focused, caring, murmuring words of reassurance as he tucks his jacket around you. His hand lingers on yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a silent promise that nothing about this has shaken him. 
“I’m so sorry, Spence,” you whisper again, your voice small and heavy with guilt. “I ruined your shoes. And your jacket. And—”
“It’s fine. You’re fine. Besides, I was planning to throw them out anyway.”
You shake your head weakly, your tone petulant even through your embarrassment. “Nooo, don’t throw them out because of me.”
His lips twitch, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Well, what do you suggest I do with them, angel?”
“I’ll wash them,” you declare, your words slow and sleepy.
Spencer raises an eyebrow, clearly entertained. “You’ll wash them?”
“Mhmm,” you murmur, already halfway to drifting off against the seat.
“How about we get you home first and then worry about the shoes, okay?” he says gently.
“’Kay,” you whisper, your voice barely audible as sleep begins to take hold.
Spencer stands, glancing back at the bar where the team is gathered. They’re not even pretending to hide their stares anymore, and he knows he’s going to hear about this for weeks. He raises a hand in a small, sheepish wave before climbing into the driver’s seat.
Derek shakes his head, laughing softly. “He’s gone,” he says, his voice carrying just enough awe to balance the humor. “Kid’s completely gone.”
Emily doesn’t need to ask what he means. Neither does Garcia. Because they’ve seen Spencer look at a thousand things with fascination—books, theories, puzzles, statistics. But this?
This is something else entirely.
The ride home is quiet, save for the occasional slurred apology from you. Spencer reassures you with the same soft patience each time, his hand steady on the wheel and his gaze flickering to you every so often, checking to make sure you’re okay. By the time he gets you home, your protests have faded, replaced by the heavy pull of exhaustion.
His arm remains firm around your waist, steadying you as he helps you inside, careful and methodical in the way he moves. He guides you to the bathroom, where you try to freshen up, fumbling with the faucet and splashing water on your face. Spencer steps in without hesitation and takes over when your movements falter. His touch is featherlight, but there’s no mistaking the care in every movement. The closeness makes your cheeks flush, though whether it’s from lingering embarrassment or something else entirely, you’re too tired to decipher.
“You don’t have to,” you murmur, your words sluggish but sincere.
“Of course I do,” he replies, his voice light but firm. “I want to.” 
He guides you to the bedroom with careful steps, his hand steady on the small of your back. Once there, he sets a glass of water on the nightstand, the gentle clink breaking the quiet.
“Drink,” he coaxes softly, his tone patient but firm.
You take the glass without protest, sipping obediently. Spencer watches, a small smile tugging at his lips. He considers making a playful comment about how quickly you’re drinking it now—so much easier than earlier—but he decides against it.
You’ve been through enough tonight, he thinks.
When he finally tucks you into bed, you’re too tired to resist. You mumble something incoherent, your hand brushing his as he leans in. Spencer pauses, his gaze lingering on your face—peaceful now, the traces of the evening’s mishaps melting away. He presses a light kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering for just a moment longer than necessary.
Spencer steps out of the room, leaving the door cracked just enough to hear you if you call out. He lingers in the hallway for a moment, his shoulders sagging slightly now that the night’s adrenaline has begun to wane. He glances down at his shoes—still damp and stained. With a resigned sigh, he makes his way to the kitchen, grabbing a plastic bag. He slips the shoes inside, tying the bag tightly before heading outside. The cold air bites at his skin as he steps toward the dumpster behind his building.
He stands there for a moment, holding the bag. The sight of the shoes, oddly enough, makes him smile. It’s ridiculous, he knows. They’re just shoes. Ruined, stained, completely unsalvageable. But they’re also a reminder of tonight—a reminder of how he’d taken care of you, how you’d let him take care of you. 
With a soft thud, the bag lands in the dumpster. Spencer dusts off his hands, turning back toward the building. When Spencer steps back into his apartment, the soft hum of the heater greets him, a gentle reminder of the warmth waiting inside. And there you are, standing in his shirt in the doorway of his bedroom. Spencer thinks it's a sight he'll never get tired of.
There's a pout tugging at your lips. “Where’d you go?” you ask, your voice thick with sleep and just a hint of a whine.
“Had to throw out the shoes angel,” he says as he steps into the kitchen to wash his hands.
Your gasp is exaggerated like he’s just committed an unspeakable betrayal. “I thought I told you I’d wash them!” you exclaim, your voice rising. 
“And I thought I tucked you into bed,” Spencer counters, his laugh soft and full of affection. “Why are you out of bed sweetheart?”
You shuffle closer, blinking up at him with drowsy eyes. “Missed you,” you say simply, your earlier outrage regarding the shoes already forgotten. “Wanna cuddle.”
Spencer’s expression softens, but he gestures to his clothes. “I’m dirty,” he reminds you gently, pointing to the coat still hanging off his shoulders and the shoes he’s yet to remove. “Outside clothes, remember?”
“Change then,” you reply stubbornly, tugging at his sleeve as though that’s the simplest solution in the world.
“I need to shower first,” he says, his voice patient as he begins to guide you back toward the bedroom.
“I didn’t shower either,” you argue, leaning heavily into his side as though that somehow strengthens your case.
“Because you’re drunk,” he replies with a small smile.
“Am not,” you insist, though your tone is far from convincing.
“Wanna tell that to my shoes?” Spencer teases, raising a brow.
You ignore him, brushing past his comment with a huff. “You’ll take too long,” you complain, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “I’ll miss you.”
“And I’ll miss you too,” he replies, his voice tinged with amusement as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Then cuddle,” you plead, your tone slipping into that sing-song quality you know he can’t resist. “Pleaseee”
Spencer hesitates, the logical part of him warring with the sight of you—soft, vulnerable, and looking at him like he hung the stars. He knows you’re usually the enforcer of the outside-clothes rule, a stickler for order when sober. But right now, you’re anything but sober, and he can’t find it in himself to deny you.
“Pleaseee,” you say again, drawing out the word for emphasis, “I’ll buy you new shoes,” your eyes wide and imploring.
He knows you probably will.
“Enough about the shoes,” Spencer rolls his eyes fighting back a smirk, “Just help me change the sheets tomorrow,” he relents, his voice warm with affection.
He knows you probably won’t. But he lets you drag him toward the bed anyways.
You beam, looping your arms around his waist in triumph. “Knew you wouldn’t say no,” you mumble into his chest.
Spencer laughs softly as you settle against him, burying your face in his chest with a soft, muffled sigh. He feels his heart swell in a way he can’t quite put into words. He’s never been one for mess—for dirt, grime, or anything out of place. Heck, he hadn't even wanted to shake your hand the first time he met you. It’s in his nature to keep things neat, orderly, clean. But now, with you?
His shoes could be ruined, his clothes crumpled, and the night an absolute whirlwind. And still, all he can think about is how peaceful you look now, your eyelids fluttering shut as sleep starts to claim you.
Spencer presses a kiss to the top of your head, his hand moving in slow, soothing circles along your back.
For you and only you, he thinks, he’d make an exception every time.
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!
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straylightdream · 1 day ago
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unconditional
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𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: yoon joenghan x f.reader
↳ life has been hard, and you know you’re not easy to love right now. No matter how hard things get he’a always by your side.
𝐠𝐞𝐧��𝐞: established relationship
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.2k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff, angst, lots of emotions, mentions or depression and anxiety, suggestive: eluding to sex in the past, and mentions of showering together
an: this is a short one, but I’m definitely in my Jeonghan feels right now.
𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.
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Staring at him intently you were trying to figure out how to put into words everything that was going on through your mind. Leaning against the kitchen counter he just stared at you wondering if you were ever going to speak. Things haven’t been the easiest in this relationship recently.
“I must be really hard to be with,” a sigh passed your lips. He couldn’t even say anything. He just stared at you with his warm dark eyes. “I’m gonna take that silence as a yes,” you crossed your arms and just stared at him.
You were going through a lot at the moment. Your father had randomly left your mother a few months ago for a random woman. You were suffering from depression and anxiety. In the process of dealing with that kept pushing away Jeonghan while he was just trying to be there for you. You weren't the easiest person to be with right now but he didn’t care. He just knew you needed him to tell you were going to be okay. He knew that even though you were going through a rough patch, you just needed some to love and support you unconditionally.
“I’m trying my hardest to be there for you,” he says walking towards you. He really just wanted to hug you and tell you to let him in. He hates when you become so guarded that he can’t get through to you.
“I know you are, and do you think it’s honestly fair you have to put up with me?” Your eyes watered at the thought that maybe you should break up. Maybe you should give him an out. He doesn’t deserve all the hard time you put him through. He deserves someone who is going to love and support him like he supports you.
“I’m not giving up on you,” he stood right in front of you staring at you with kind eyes. His hand rests on your cheek as he gently drags his thumb across your delicate skin. “I’m never going to love anyone like I love you.”
If you looked up the definition of a “perfect boyfriend” in the dictionary you would probably find a picture of Yoon Jeonghan. He was the most caring and loving boyfriend in the world and would do anything to make you happy. He constantly goes out of his way to do things that he knows will make you smile.
Bright eyes started at you intently as you fought back tears. He didn’t even bother saying anything else he just wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into his strong chest. You cling to him instantly. You don’t want to be difficult. You wished more than anything you could just be happy.
“I love you and we’re in this together,” he murmured with his lips resting on top of your head. Nuzzling your head into his chest. You knew he wasn’t going anywhere. He was in it for the long haul and would do anything for you. His hand rubs your back and you hold onto him. Gentle tears slowly slide down your cheeks.
“I love you too,” you said softly.
“Why don’t we go to bed and I can hold you?” he let go of you slowly and gave you a small smile. He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to the tip of your nose.
“I would like that,” you reached down and grabbed his soft hand.
Slowly you made your way towards your bedroom. You both crawled onto the queen size bed that sits under the window. You snuggled up as physically close as you could get to Jeonghan. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close as your head rested on his shoulder.
“Thank you for putting up with me,” you sighed. You’ll never understand how you managed to find someone like Jeonghan. He’s truly perfect in every sense of the word. You love him with your whole heart and soul, and you know he loves you.
“I love you and I’m always going to be there for you,” he gently kissed the top of your head, causing you to smile as she closed her eyes.
“Let’s lay down,” he moves so he’s laying down and he pulls up close to him with your head resting on his chest. “Do you know the moment I realized I was in love with you?” He absentmindedly draws shapes on your arms.
“No?”
“We had been dating for two and half weeks and it was the day we got caught in the rainstorm.” You vividly remember this day. “We had gone to the museum because my favorite artists had paintings there and I remember I could barely pay attention to the art. I was captivated watching you. You seemed so interested in learning about the things I love.” When you met him and you found out about his love for art. You learn everything about his favorite artist so you could share his love for art.
“I liked you so much from the beginning, I wanted to make sure you knew how much I cared for you.”
“I can still picture you that day. I remember it was a beautiful spring day and you wore that pretty light blue dress.” You didn’t tell him but you bought that dress to wear on that date.
“It was a warm spring day. I had no clue it was supposed to rain. I didn’t even bother bringing a jacket.”
“I know you hated the rain that day, but everything about that day was perfect for me. I realized watching you stare at those paintings that I was in love with you.” You almost want to start crying again. You aren’t sure how you managed to get Jeonghan to love you like he does.
“I realized I love you probably at the month mark.”
“You mean after that I told you I love you?” He smiles. He never had a problem being the first one to say those three big words.
“When you told me you love me, I realized then that I felt things for you I hadn’t ever felt before,” leaning up your press a gentle kiss to his neck. “It clicked for me when you spent the night after we went out with your friend. I remember the way you held my hand just seemed so proud to introduce me as your girlfriend.”
“I was head over heels for you. Of course I was proud to introduce you to them.”
“That night in bed things just felt more intimate and intense and I realized it was because I was in love with you.”
He closes his eyes smiling. “You told me that night you loved me while we took a shower together. I just remember how nervous you were. I thought you looked absolutely adorable.”
“I loved you then and I still love you with my whole heart,” you snuggle closer to him.
“Baby I have loved you with my whole heart and soul since that rainy day.”
You know no matter how hard things get for you Jeonghan is always going to love. He’s always going to be by your side. Soon you both drifted off to sleep knowing no matter what you have each other.
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hyperions-light · 2 days ago
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The Poison Fruit Ripens
#defendingtheending here we go
First of all mega super ultra spoilers for the ending teaser that Steam says like… 6% ? Of players have seen? So you’ve been warned. No cuts baby, it’s Miyazaki style
Okay, so it’s the Executors, and they’re probably coming across the sea in the next game (if EA doesn’t nuke BW), from what I can gather. I mean, this is fine from a lore perspective. All we knew about those people before is that 1) they are mysterious 2) they are from over there, across the ocean
And now they’re maybe connected to the revealed Qunari lore, which I am ! So excited to have! We already knew that the Qunari fled across the ocean for unspecified reasons, and that going back there was Not A Thing. But now we know that they left because of the (probably metaphorical?) Devouring Storm, which could be connected to the Executors. What are the odds that there are two separate Huge Bad Things Over There that both want to destroy Thedas? Probably is just one big thing— also the title Executor implies they are doing the bidding of someone else, so whatever the Qunari were talking about could be it. (They also talked about being agents of someone else’s will in the Inquisition War Table quest).
So the cinematic shows a bunch of our prominent villains from the previous games being influenced in some way by the Executors. Which I think people are upset about, but I think it’s fine because:
- They did not really specify the manner of influence. I would be annoyed if they retconned Loghain’s decision to leave Cailan on the battlefield because it makes him interesting, but they didn’t say that. They just said they influenced his decisions. They could have done that by stoking his paranoia about Orlais, or by planting Arl Howe to influence him after the battle. He did a lot of OOC stuff while he was King Regent, and this could be a chance to explain what didn’t make sense for his previously established character and was just put in there to make him seem Very Evil.
- They also were around some people doing a blood magic ritual… there weren’t enough of them to be the Magisters, technically, but that is usually what it looks like when we see them in DA art so I’m going to assume that’s them for now. I mean that’s wild if that’s what it is bc that was such a long time ago? Thee guys have really been playing the long game I guess
- The other person they directly influenced seems to be Bartrand, which is really easy because who the fuck gave him that damn map? We NEVER found out who pointed Bartrand to the Thaig! Someone did it, and they probably did it on purpose! It may as well be these guys
- the rest of the villains don’t get guys whispering to them, so I have to assume they mean to imply that they just set up the circumstances that would lead to these people gaining power. I mean someone sent the Carta to the Vimmark mountains, right? And there was like some weird demon there, too.
-So basically they’re just implying that these people have been manipulating events to make sure that shit in Thedas is hitting the fan all at once, which does kind of explain the frankly improbable number of world-ending events that have happened during the Dragon Age. I mean, three Blights, two Magisters, two Evanuris, Antaam invasion, major mage rebellion, Templar schism, and the death of the Southern Divine? It’s only been like 50 years!!! Before the Dragon Age there had only been four Blights since the Ancient Age! Shit does not normally happen this fast in Thedas
I think the phrase itself is pretty direct (also giving Southern Reach vibes). All this chaos they helped sew is reaching its culmination, and now they’re getting ready to cash in the chips. They’re coming to Thedas at the moment that all the great powers are at their weakest, when there’s basically no one to oppose them. Tevinter? Fucked. Qunari? No military anymore. Antiva? Haha! lol, even. Fereldan? Basically gone. Orlais? In shambles. Free Marches? Decimated. Anderfels? There’s like 100 Wardens left in a swamp. Nevarra? I actually don’t know, maybe the lichlords can do something. Maybe Rivain could field some token resistance if they didn’t get hit by the Antaam too badly, but that’s kind of it IMO. This is THE time to come in and conquer(?) the land, or whatever they’re trying to do. Kill everybody?? Turn them into Darkspawn? Who knows!
Some speculation about what could be done to repel invasion:
- shit ton of blood magic
- fix titans, wake them up??? But idk if they’d be into it
- adaari, but idk if there are that many
- people with dragon blood, like the Theirins, are maybe super special and can do things?
- pirates, baby!!! Woooooo!
- I guess Mythal could know something? She can see the future a bit
- dragon army! Dragon army!!
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burningcheese-merchant · 2 days ago
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I know that it is highly unlikely that it is the case, but come and give it a thougjt with me (Yandere Spice with a twist).
What if: Burning Spice, despite being completely obsessive and being the sadomasochist he is, routinely cuts off the heads of animals and cookies and brings them to her the first time with a love letter (he used to be the Herald of Change, so I'd imagine he's got- and retained- some brains, enough to at least write a psychotic obsessive love letter).
Now, Golden Cheese is obviously gonna freak the f out and gape as he shoves the head into her arms (probably throw it into the air and back up in panic) while Burning Spice- though displeased at first, just grins manically at her reaction soon enough (maybe even laughing), before he grabs it and shoves the letter and head onto her hands again and leaving.
Golden Cheese, having noticed his reaction to her throwing it, becomes concerned with what he might do if she doesn't accept the 'gifts', decides to keep it (She flies hella fast and enters through her window and hides it in a secret compartment in her room, before creating a hidden room the other gifts in the future).
Now, here's the twist:
Despite the shock and horror she displayed to Burning Spice's gift, she knew that deep down... She fucking loved it. She silently revels in it, even. At having so much of the Beast- A cookiebeing you could practically almost consider primordial and all-powerful-'s attention and taking up so much of their headspace. To be obsessed over adored by someone like that, so much so that they would go out of their way to behead someone and something and write a love letter daily, just to give it to her as a gift-
In short, she absolutely loves the attention she will never say it and will keep that to her grave and Burning Spice and everyone else is none the wiser of it. Of how she'd kept every letter and laminated every single one with the care and cautiousness and love one would use when holding thin glass, of how she intentionally goes out alone every day for a few minutes just so Burning Spice would 'see an opening' and give his gift, where Golden Cheese would then act terribly disgusted and horrified, and then keep the gifts. Ignorant of how she has a room full of the 'gifts' he's given her- which she'd taken the time to personally taxiderm each and every one, before hanging it on the wall like a reward or trophy. Of how she'd come to the room every night to just adore it just the sight makes her want to coo and purr in delight for a few minutes to an hour, before going to bed and resting.
Sorry for the rambling and the long paragraphs 😅😅
This is such a horrifying (in a good way) concept that I MUST acknowledge it and give my take!!! Gonna put it under a cut because this is particularly dark
Yandere Spice basically acting like a cat is so fucking funny to me lol I love it
I'm so glad you think Spice is a smart guy due to having been the Herald of Change/History, because I think that too! He simply HAS to be intelligent, even wise to a degree. It would be ridiculous if he wasn't; being buff doesn't automatically mean you're dumb. And I LOVE the letter thing, I've always headcanoned Spice (the "normal" one, not the yandere one) as writing Golden romantic poetry (and her liking it lol. It helps win her over).
Now, with the murder gifts: of course Golden is horrified. Not only has Spice ended innocent lives, but he did it for her. In a way, it's her fault, and she feels horrible. Animal, person/cookie, doesn't matter, Spice has killed again and he gives the fruits of his sinful labor to her as a declaration of "love". It's sick. No matter how deranged she finds him, he finds a way to sink lower. (But... one thing: he never hurts birds. He has never once brought her a dead bird, because even he knows that's a step too far and she REALLY won't like it. It's the one little drop of care and tact that he possesses.)
But that twist: somewhere beneath all those layers of shock, disgust and righteous anger is... flattery. Sick, twisted flattery. There's nothing Golden loves more than being praised, than being worshiped, than being showered with attention and gifts... and Spice is doing that. He's feeding her ego, albeit in the worst way possible. And so great and terrible is her ego, no matter what she does to temper or suppress it, that somewhere deep down inside, she enjoys what he's doing. That he'll gladly kill for her. That he'll show off his hard work in search of her praise and admiration. She is a goddess and he knows it. He is giving her the adulation she rightfully deserves.
Now, of course, this contradicts her normally altruistic nature, and she has a massive crisis of conscience. She keeps everything Spice gives her, she keeps the heads and the letters and stores them all properly, because... Well, she tells herself that it's better this way. If she refused them, he would retaliate, if not against her then against another innocent. If she preserves the heads, she can later discover who they belonged to and hopefully return them to the person's family (and it was the least she could do; clean them up, give them back even a fraction of their grace and dignity...). If she reads the letters, she'll have better insight into his mind and how he thinks, and thus be able to formulate a better response to him and his behaviors. These excuses are what she mutters under her breath over and over as she sneaks the heads into her room, through the window so no one sees her. As she tidies and laminates the letters, and stores them in a secure folder that she tucks into a box under the bed (which eventually becomes boxes, the more and more letters she gets). As she expertly taxidermies the heads and places them on nice shelves in a hidden closet in her room. It's better this way. She has to do this.
...and these are all true, they really are. But at the same time... Existing alongside this pain and terror and crushing guilt, is the sick joy in knowing that she has someone wrapped around her finger this completely. And a Beast, too. The Beast of Destruction, no less. Burning Spice himself, heads over heels in love with her, willing to do anything to have her. It shouldn't please her to have a monster practically at her beck and call, but... it does. It really, truly does. And no matter how much she hates herself for it... It's never enough to make it stop.
Sometimes, she'll hint at a specific person she doesn't like - usually a known enemy of her kingdom - just to see if he'll do what she thinks he will. Sure enough, the next time they meet, he has that person's head ready for her, all but puffing his chest out in pride and grinning that hideous, face-splitting, cruel grin of his. She acts upset, but she's actually pleased to know that she was right: he WILL do what she tells him to, just to please her.
Sometimes she'll stand there admiring her ever-expanding taxidermy collection, congratulating herself on her hard work; she does a better and better job every time. (And when the guilt comes bubbling to the surface, asking her why they're still here and not with their loved ones so they can have a proper funeral, she tells it that Spice will lose it if he catches her giving them away. Or she'll be made out to be the one responsible, since she's the one who has them. Or they're dead, their souls have departed to the afterlife, what happens to their mortal vessels matters not anymore...)
Sometimes, when she's in bed at night, she'll pull out the letters and read them. Sometimes she'll read one, sometimes a few, sometimes all of them. Some are surprisingly sweet and romantic, full of oddly gentle and doting words; she can feel the warmth and affection soaked into the page. Others are downright vulgar; she feels her own face catch fire as she reads through what are obviously his fantasies, the list of ways in which he wants to pleasure her so long and graphic that she suspects he wrote them one-handed, if you know what I mean. The rest are just flat-out deranged: feverish rants about his ownership of her, how he hated and wanted to get rid of those around her, how she took everything from him (his power, his sanity, his heart, his soul) and he was willing to pardon it if she gave him everything of hers in turn. How he will never stop hunting her. How he will slaughter thousands to get to her. How he will bring the world to ruins just to have her to himself. Madness. All-consuming delusion that she fears is incurable.
But the worst part is... she doesn't know if she wants it to be anymore.
All she can do now is... hope he never finds out. Hope he never knows she feels this way. That she relishes his kills, his gifts. That she has a godforsaken trophy room now. That now she's as starved for his attention as he is for hers. (And he will. The idea is simply too tantalizing. He WILL find out eventually, someway, somehow - and when he does... Oh boy.)
TL;DR: Golden is so greedy that her greed has warped her into being as bad as Spice, at least in her own way. They probably deserve each other at this point. Pure, incorrigible arrogance and psychopathy all the way down. God/Witches have mercy on us all
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adioringhamzah · 22 hours ago
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dress to impress hamzah
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your boyfriend is not giving you enough attention, so you come up with an idea (sfw)
inspired by this ask (tysm<33)
your boyfriend hamzah was in his office, or what he would propably call his "man cave". you were getting a little tired of hearing him laugh at his laptop. he was probably playing one of his silly games with martin but it was already 6pm and you were insanely bored.
thankfully at that same moment, someone rang your door, you opened it and were pleasantly surprised when you saw your house of cb order. you would've never bought from them because of their insane prices, but your sweet boyfriend had decided to let you use his card, you loved when he payed for your orders.
you quickly opened the huge box and saw all your beautiful dresses wrapped in little plastic bags. you loudly called hamzah to ask him if he wanted a haul, but he didn't say anything, so you assumed he didn't hear because of his headphones.
you first tried a short pink shapewear dress which made your body look even better than it already did. it looked way too good not to show anyone, so you barged into the man cave.
hamzah looked surprised at first, headphones still on his ears, but as soon as he saw your short dress, he put them down, giving you the attention you craved. "you look so pretty," you blushed, knowing he was right but loving the compliment, and you asked him if he wanted to see the rest, but surprisingly enough, he declined, saying he wanted to finish his game. you frowned, overly annoyed by his reaction. you're obviously more important than whatever silly game he was playing, but you let him get back to it, still standing next to him.
you were about to leave when you told yourself you should probably get some kind of revenge. so you did.
you started removing your skin thight dress, struggling a little. but you took it off soon enough and were left there, with only your lacey panties to keep you warm. hamzah was still playing his game, totally oblivious to the fact that you were standing topless next to him.
you boldly pulled all the wires coming from his computer, hoping at least one would make it shut down. "y/n what the fuck do you think you're doing?" he basically screamed, before his eyes landed on your half naked body.
his madness quickly turned into lust, and he took off his headphones as fast as he could, before putting his hands on your hips. he hadn't seen you naked in a while now because you had both been so busy, and you could just see how horny he was. he was looking up to your tits from his gamer chair, his eyes filled with so much desire.
your whole body was cold, and you could feel your chest getting harder. when you looked down to hamzah, you saw something else getting hard in his grey sweatpants and you chuckled a little.
he looked almost a little embarrassed and tapped on his tights to invite you to sit. you did so very fast, and he hugged you from behind, caressing all the upper part of your body that was getting hot from his body heat. you turned your head around just to see his flushed face.
hope u liked it<3
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vickillaman · 2 days ago
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Is there anything so undoing as a sister?
Jinx is alive.
“Vi was strong because she was afraid. Her fear of losing us is what made her fight so hard”.
“You’re never gonna give up on me, are you? You don’t need to worry about me anymore. You don’t need to feel guilty about being happy. You deserve to be happy with her”.
Jinx was right there, staring at her sister,  begging her to save herself, begging her to understand that she can’t save their dad. She was staring at her sister crying and not being able to fight back as the beast attacked her, still trying to call out to his humanity, to Vander, to her dad.
And Jinx knew: Vi’s love for her family will be the end of her.
Everything has changed and Vi just can’t bring herself to accept it because she is still a kid that wants the best for her sister; a daughter that was told to protect her family; a girl that knows nothing but how to give every single piece of herself to the ones she loves just to find out that it’s never enough.
How much more can she give before there’s nothing left?
Jinx didn’t want to find out. She didn’t want her to worry about her anymore, didn’t want her to be strong and afraid all the time. Jinx wanted Vi to be happy, to put her happiness above all else and she knew that Vi won’t be able to do that as long as her little sister was around. She knew after spending months with Isha and already willing to throw herself at the hands of death to just be able to reach her, to save her that Vi will never be able to live for herself if Jinx was there with her.
Vi will always choose her family even if it kills her. Vi will always prioritize her family over herself over and over and over again. Vi will always try to chase her monsters away.
In the end, is there really anything so undoing as a sister?
Jinx knew that in order for Vi to take a leap forward, her little sister needed to get left behind.
She left to build something new. Someone else worth building it for.
Jinx is alive. But Vi’s sister is dead.
P.S. And Caitlyn knows that Jinx is alive, too. That’s why we see her looking at the Hexgates’ plan and a part of Jinx’s bomb. And most importantly that’s why we see Caitlyn’s face, pensive and tense, exactly before we see the airship: the one that we know Powder said she would ride in, someday.
Cait just doesn’t let Vi on about her suspicions for the exact same reason she knew that if Vi got hold of the keys to free Jinx, she’ll be the one left in the cell just for Caitlyn to let her out in the end (always and for the rest of their lives now, probably).
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crownmemes · 2 days ago
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Relationship Advice Sentences, Vol. 2
(Sentences for those in need of relationship advice, and those that like to give it. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"Do you think I should ask him to marry me?"
"Men are like dogs - they like being stroked, but for God's sake, don't let them hump your leg!"
"There is one infallible method of indicating to a girl that you love her: don't eat any dinner tonight."
"I'm uncomfortable about sex."
"Give and take is the foundation for any working relationship."
"How are you ever going to find your soulmate if you won't go and talk to anyone?"
"It's important to keep eye contact with your date."
"Once he's got whatever he needs, he'll cast you aside."
"Even love has a dark side."
"I love this ship. I have from the first moment I saw it."
"Falling in love is like jumping off a cliff; you just have to believe and let go."
"Soppiness is at the very heart of a successful love letter!"
"Whatever gave you the impression that I was remotely interested in your private life?"
"Yearning won't make it happen."
"You don't have to fall in love at first sight, you know."
"What if he won't forgive me?"
"Can I give you a little advice about women?"
"She's just what you need - someone who can see right through you!"
"The trick is not to think about it."
"Don't let love make you out to be a fool."
"You can love someone and not like them."
"I suppose you're going to suggest I try online dating next?"
"How do you convince someone that you're not cheating on them?"
"Marriages don’t fail because couples get bored. They fail because, while they’re dating, people pretend to be the person they think their partner wants and then, well, there’s only so long you can keep that up."
"You probably don't believe that love at first sight exists, but I assure you, it does."
"Just because you say something to a person doesn't necessarily mean you mean it."
"Men often say that, but they don't mean it."
"This is just you projecting your own intimacy issues on everybody else!"
"They say that you can't love two people, but they're wrong."
"Never underestimate the female of the species. It won't end well."
"All you need to do is love him. You can figure out the rest as you go."
"Just tell her how you feel! If you won't, then I will!"
"All relationships hit speedbumps."
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usmsgutterson · 11 hours ago
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We Could Leave The Christmas Lights Up Til January - S.R x reader
I am typing this authors note and feeling like the friend who's like "ITS CHRISTMAS" from the like. middle of the month forward when I'm actually the friend who reminds you how close it is to christmas or the new year bc I don't want to face that knowledge by myself and suffer well with others.
This was written as a through-the-years style fic. It'll have fifteen chapters which will correspond with the og fifteen seasons of criminal minds (I have not watched seasons sixteen or seventeen, please do not judge me lol) and three scenes per chapter, one set in November, one set on or around Christmas, and the last set at some point after it. The reader is also a fiber artist but if stuff relating to that comes up, I will make a note of whichever terms I need to.
Fic type - this is largely fluff!
Warnings - the reader in this has a slightly similar, but also somewhat dramatized version of my family dynamics bc I wrote this whenever the knit projects I was working on frustrated me and when writing the dynamics it just HAPPENED, but then I edited it so that the dynamics wouldn't hit SUPER HARD if I ever reread it. Otherwise, booze is mentioned a bit, and there is swearing present bc I apparently am incapable of writing a fic without dropping an f'bomb.
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When you leave the office that night, it's half-past seven on a Friday in November. You and the rest of the team have the weekend off, and while Penelope and the others had gone out for drinks, you'd gotten back from a case in Miami that morning and had said no to the offer when she'd made it.
You had really just wanted to get home, if you were being honest. You told her you couldn't swing it because of plans already made with someone else, but Garcia didn't need to know that those plans were a glass of wine, Loops 'N Threads Classic Cotton and a crochet hook to work up some dishcloths in lieu of anything too expensive for your aunts christmas gift, or that the someone else you had plans with was your DVR so that you could catch up on the five episodes of Prison Break you'd missed because of the way that cases and work had been piling up.
She also didn't need to know that the wine your mother had given you would have a spot, or that after you were caught up with Prison Break you'd probably order and eat your way through an entire pizza from Antonios while watching a documentary about lemon sharks. Your Friday nights were your own, and even though you adored everyone on the team, you would seldom give up your Friday night ritual of doing a craft while watching whichever cable TV you needed to catch up on or whichever one the network of your choice had been running a marathon of, even if giving it up meant giving up dinner, drinks, and laughter amongst yourself and the rest of the team.
So, as you and Spencer are heading out—Spencer had declined Penelopes offer but hadn't specified his reasons as to why—he looks at you with a knowing sort of smile.
"Crocheting and Antonios?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow.
You nod once, lips pursing just a little while you mentally ready yourself for any oncoming judgement. "Mhm," you nod. "I have a bottle of red I wanna drink, so it'll be a tipsy crocheting night, I think."
"That sounds fun," he says. "Enjoy it."
"What're your plans for the night?" You ask. You've been with the team since six months after Spencer had joined up. You'd joined, under Hotch's wing, at the age of nineteen where Spencer had joined up under Gideons when he was twenty.
He shrugs. "I was thinking about calling my mom, seeing how she's doing," he says. "I try to call her at least once every so often and I do my best to write, but—it's just—"
"Maintaining those kinds of relationships isn't that easy," you nod. "I mean—my parents just live in my hometown so the circumstances are different, but I get it, even if it's to a lesser degree."
You don't really talk to your parents, and they don't really talk to you, and it's been that way since you went to the FBI Academy when you were eighteen. You came to DC after being hired by the BAU and they stayed in Maine, and things have been like that in the five years since you left the state.
"Your mom came around recently, right?"
You nod. "She was in town for a bit, but she came down while we were working on a case so I only got to see her a few times before she was heading back to Maine." She'd come up at the start of October, while you were working a case out of state, and she'd left six days after you'd returned from the case. In that time, you'd seen her at breakfast, lunch and dinner on three separate days. She'd left you the wine as a gift because she hated red and needed to pass it off, but you loved red wine so it was fine.
"Was it a good visit?"
"It was—well—it was fine," you laugh.
"That's the nicest way to put it?"
"Calling it fine is me being stellar," you laugh again. "Being kind, being gratiuitous, even. It was less than fine, but it could've been worse, and other visits of hers have been by miles."
Your relationship with your mother has been somewhat contentious since you were a teen, but she comes down once every few months and unless a case or something better comes up, you usually try to book Christmas off to spend it with your parents and sisters in Maine. This year, a bigger part of you than not is hoping that Christmas is disrupted by a case somewhere completely out of Maines reach, like Nevada or California or even the likes of Alaska, which has got to be some snowy hellstorm in the wintertime, though you can't say.
"You gonna go down for Christmas?" Spencer asks, laughing a little. He knows some of what your relationships with your family are like—knows that you and your mother have a difficult time finding common ground, knows that you and your father don't get along but have found some weird little middleground where you can exist without screaming at each other. He knows that you and your older sister are sort of friendly but only really mildly close, and that you and your other older sister don't talk often and see each other even less than the sparing conversations you have throughout the year—and he always looks at you kind of pitifully when your mother gets brought into the conversation, but there's been less and less pity as the years have passed, more sympathy.
"I don't want to," you laugh. "I really, really hope we get a case in Nevada or somewhere that even my mother wouldn't be able to justify asking me to drive down to Maine from. Like—I'd love it if we got a case in Alaska the day before Christmas Eve, honestly. I know it's not gonna happen, but—Christmas with them, my aunt, and my uncle? No. I can't subject myself to that without a whole lot of booze."
Spencer laughs, shakes his head a little bit. "You'll be fine," he says. "I won't hope that a case comes up at Christmas, but if one does, I'll buy you a victory tea."
"Why?"
"Because I know you love your family—you're hardwired to love them—but you hate Christmas with them, and I don't really like the thought of you being where you don't want to be because of family ties and guilt."
You laugh. "If it gets too dreary, promise you'll answer my call?"
"Yeah," Spencer nods. "Of course, but what if I call you first?"
"I will answer so quick," you laugh again, shrugging. "Seriously. Whether it's you or Hotch, I will take literally any excuse I can get to slip out from whichever room I'm in to the back porch just so I can talk to someone who isn't my aunt for a few minutes."
"Looking forward to that," Spencer says.
You smile, turning away as you do to hide it. It feels like an awesome ending to a mediocre day and you're grateful for that.
-
When your phone rings at five o'clock something along the lines of five weeks later, it's Christmas Eve. You've spent the last couple of hours alternating between cheap screw top rose and a jack and coke, occasionally swapping both options out for a hot chocolate that you spike with kahlua and a splash of baileys, and when your phone rings, the sound of it is a welcome reprieve.
You tuck a mug of boozed up hot cocoa into your right hand, answering the phone with your left as you dismiss yourself out to the back porch, standing amidst snow that's, by that point, a couple days old. A fresh coat is due to fall any day now, but by the time it does you'll probably already be back in DC.
"Hey," you greet. "How's Christmas on your end?"
"It's good," Spencer answers. "How is it on yours?"
"It's amazing."
"You've been drinking?"
"Jack Daniels, cheap rose, and the occasional spiked hot chocolate," you laugh a little. "It's making everyone more tolerable."
"Thats good," Spencer says. "Don't forget to drink water, though. It'll make you less hungover tomorrow morning."
"Yeah," you nod. "I've drank plenty of water—hangover headaches are fuckin' awful, and I don't feel like dealing with that tomorrow morning. A headache on top of dealing with my aunt? I couldn't put myself through that kind of torture."
"How've things been with you and your mom?"
"So far I haven't done anything to piss her off yet, which is surprising," you laugh. "Normally she's leaping down my throat the second I do something like use a tone that she thinks is amiss or defend my dad where she doesn't agree with him. I'll say something stupid and she'll yell at me before midnight though, I'm sure."
"Try to be a little optimistic," Spencer says. "I mean—just—take it easy. Don't do anything too nuts, okay? I know you well enough to know you have Prison Break on one of the DVRs in that house, and I also know that you know your own limits. Don't push yourself past them."
"I won't," you say. You know yourself well enough to know that you're probably lying, but you brought your needles and a skein of yarn so worst case you can just knit and keep your mouth shut, hopefully not miscounting any of your stitches in your drunken state. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I get in around ten on boxing day too, so—coffee?"
"Coffee," Spencer says. "Merry Christmas, Y/N."
"Merry Christmas, Spencer," you respond, hanging up the phone thereafter. You stay outside for another few minutes, drinking your hot chocolate, watching the sky and prolonging the time between then and your next interactions with your relatives.
Eventually, when you go back in, you're met with a sly look from your aunt and a suspicious look in your mothers eyes, while your father and uncle chat about current events and your sisters are busy in a game of Uno.
"You got a boyfriend?" Your aunt asks, her smile cheeky.
You grimace. "No!" You say, beelining for the kitchen and the bottle of Barefoot brand zinfandel. "No—it's—it isn't like that. A friend had planned to call and I didn't say no."
"Oooh, a friend," your mother teases. "That's quite vague, Y/N."
You nod, finishing the last sip of hot chocolate in your mug and rinsing it out, setting it in your favored corner of the kitchen counter and reaching for the wine glass you'd left in that same area.
"Intentionally so," you laugh. "You two are so nosy. I love you both to bits and pieces, but—it's not anything like what you're thinking. The friend is a coworker."
You reach for the bottle of zinfandel and pour an amount that just barely skirts the edge of avoiding being obscene, putting the cap back on and leaving it on the counter along with the rest of the alcoholic companions that will reside on the countertop until at some point tomorrow, when the drinks are switched out from booze and beer to soda and water.
"You two will be an item in five years, I guarantee it," your aunt says. "Seriously. You don't be vague about someone with your family unless there are feelings there, Y/N."
You laugh a little more, taking a sip of your wine and debating rummaging through the fridge to find the brownies that you'd hidden in the back of the fridge for when the drunken cravings kicked in.
"I've been vague with you people about women coworkers," you retort. "I've been vague about mentors who are older than Dad. I'm vague about lots of things."
"You should open up," your uncle says. "Nobody likes a closed off little snowflake who wants to appear mysterious."
"Trust is earned," the older of your two sisters retorts. "You have to trust people to want to open up to them."
"Do you not trust us?" Your mother asks, looking at you with pain in her eyes.
Not like I did when I was a kid, you think. "I do! I just—work life and family life are two separate things to me. If I were as open as you guys want me to be, telling you work stories and funny office anecdotes, you'd all want to hear less about my job."
"Being an FBI agent can't be that hard," your uncle retorts.
"You say that as a man who's never watched someone you love like a sibling get shot at," you retort. "You've never seen someones body missing parts, or seen someone who narrowly evaded a serial killer shaking with grief and with survivors guilt already starting to manifest. I love you all, but not one of you understands what it's like, and I wouldn't wish you did across a thousand lifetimes."
Nobody knows what to say, but the look in your eldest sisters eyes is clear—she's proud.
"Well maybe you should work in a different area," your aunt says.
"I wouldn't trade my job or my coworkers for anything," you respond. "The plus sides make up for the drawbacks tenfold."
Things go a little quiet after that, and you eventually grab the bottle of Zinfandel and retreat back out to the back porch, not caring how cold it is.
You stare at the sky for ages, drinking your way through the entire bottle of zinfandel as you do. You're half asleep when your phone rings again, and you pick it up as you make back inside, figuring the rest of your family had gone to bed as well.
"Hey," Spencer greets. "Just calling to check in again."
"Hi," you respond. "Everyone else has gone to sleep, I think—nobody is in the kitchen or the living room, and if I don't hit the hay I'll be dead on my feet tomorrow morning."
"Do you have any sports drinks around?" Spencer asks. "The elctrolytes in them will help replenish the potassium and the salt that you lose after a lot of drinking. Bouillion soup also serves the same purpose, and water is basically universally known as the one thing you should consistently drink between alcoholic beverages."
"My mother gets a twelve pack of the fruit punch Gatorade, puts it in the fridge and normally will make the drunkest of us chug a bottle before we conk out, so I'm gonna grab one and then chug it and head to bed. Thank you for calling to check in, Spencer. It means a lot."
You head for the fridge and keep to your word, opening it and grabbing one of the gatorades.
"It's no problem," Spencer says. "I've know you—how long now?"
"Four entire years," you laugh, closing the fridge and pressing your forehead against the metal door of the freezer on top of it. "Oh, God. Four years of working at the BAU. That is a surefire way to make me feel old."
"How old do you think you'll feel when you've been working there for a decade?"
"Absolutely, positively, ancient," you say. "Oh my God—thirty three? That is not an age I can picture. Asking me to picture that while I'm drunk feels like such a low blow, Reid."
"How about twenty-eight?"
"I'm starting to think you just like the sound of my voice," you retort, laughing a little as you compose yourself just enough to turn your phone onto speaker and set it on the counter. You lean against the counter and take the screw top off of your gatorade, sighing a little. "Are you asking me if I have a five year plan, Dr. Reid?"
"Yeah," he says. "Yes is the answer to both your statement and your question."
"Well, in five years, I'll be twenty-eight," you start. "I'd like it very much if I were still on the team, and if I am, that means nine years at the BAU. I'm going to get better at knitting and finally stop knitting things for people who don't offer to buy the yarn or otherwise compensate, I think. I make things free for ungrateful people too often. Maybe even adopt a kitten or take in a shelter dog. Fuck—Reid, I can't really even decide what I'm going to do in the next five minutes, let alone the next five years."
You chug the gatorade as you think about it—a bigger apartment would be nice, one that's closer to work would be nicer still. One with a good view of the city, maybe a library or a liquor store within walking distance, if not a Michaels or a Joanns.
You've always been more of a cat person but you have a ridiculously insurmountable softspot for greyhounds and pitbulls, so if you thought you could take in an animal in the coming years, you would have the knowledge and the background to give them a good home.
You'd maybe want to change up your hair color, if the drunken opportunity presented itself. A change in appearance feels like the sort of thing a person finds necessary at the age of twenty four, in the last year before the brain fully develops and stuff starts changing bit by bit.
"I think I'll still be on the team," Spencer says. "I know it. I love what we get to do everyday, Y/N. Helping people? Saving lives? We do good. We're good people."
"What else do you think about the next five years?" You ask, your voice quiet.
"I think I'll still be living in my same apartment, and that I'll still bicker and get into prank wars with Morgan," Spencer says. "I think I'll still play chess against Gideon on the jet home, and I'll still love to learn anything I can. I know for sure I'm still going to be trying to get you to watch Dr. Who with me, though I hope you agree to watch it after five years of attempts at cajoling you to."
You laugh, and the air takes on a somber kind of tone. "Maybe," you say. "Not likely, but maybe, Reid. Look—I'm going to go to bed so that I can just deal with tomorrows probable hangover head on, but thank you for calling me not once, but twice tonight. I really needed some company that wasn't a little bit of an asshole."
"Yeah, of course," Spencer says. "I—well—merry Christmas, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Spencer," is how you bid him adieu, hanging up the phone thereafter. You throw the gatorade bottle into the recycling and head off to the room you'd claimed, turning the tv onto a low volume and falling asleep with The Muppet Christmas Carol beginning to play in the background.
-
"How was everyones Christmas?" Garcia asks, practically buzzing with excitement as she comes out into the bullpen. Spencer is leaning against your desk, the two of you talking about nothing in particular when she comes around, and Garcia looks at you with a happy grin. "How was Maine?"
"It was Maine," you shrug. "Snowed. A lot. In turn, everyone in my family drank. A lot."
"Oh," Garcia shakes her head. "Too many people and too much booze is God awful."
You shrug. "My parents, my sisters, and my aunt and my uncle hardly felt like too many," you say. "And the amount of booze in which I indulged hardly felt like too much."
"You had a lot," Spencer retorts, looking at you skeptically. "I got a text Christmas morning, if memory serves—"
"A text to thank you for being so nice," You fire back, cutting him off. "Totally not asking you for hangover cures. I would never."
Spencer shakes his head, laughing slightly. You grin, taking a sip of the tea he'd brought you that morning.
"Yeah," he says. "I didn't get a text asking for the ultimate hangover cure-all. I guess I must've remembered it wrong."
Your grin widens, and you nod. "Guess so. How were things with your Mom?"
"They were great," Spencer says. "I had a good time."
"I'm glad," you respond. "Your mother sounds pleasant."
"She is," Spencer nods. "I'd hate to spend more than an hour with yours though."
"She's comin' here in June," you fire back, leaning back in your chair as your grin morphs from grin to smirk. "Be careful for the next six months, Reid, or I'll invite you to dinner with her, myself, and my father."
"That sounds like some form of mideval torture," Derek fires, laughing. Spencer shakes his head.
"Not if Y/Ns there," he murmurs. You take another sip of your tea to avoid seeming flustered to the rest of the team, and Spencer sighs when JJ comes around. You sit up in your chair, already anticipating her next words.
"We have a case," she says. "A series of deaths in Witchita. Briefing room in ten!"
You and Spencer exchange a look. There are only a few days left of it, but it looks like the last of 2005 is due to be a whirlwind.
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aveadore · 2 days ago
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Tumblr, hear out my Arcane thoughts. Some of it is slander, though, so don’t read if it’ll bum you out. In the end, I decided to go with one topic mostly, because I had too much to say.
Spoilers, obviously
Tw: suicide
The way the show handles suicide is SO irresponsible. Call it heroic sacrifice, if you must, but I won’t. The same song that played before, during Jinx’s attempts, played again, during her sacrifice, so the intention is clear.
Do they not realize that so many people that relate to Jinx in some ways are watching it? It’s like they are trying to say: “yes, your intrusive thoughts are right, you are better off not being there. It’s best for your loved ones, if you disappear.” So weird. And, fine, she’s probably not dead. But why hide it? Why not make her end be, openly: “sometimes, you can only heal if you cut everyone off and start anew” Fine. That would be way better. I just can’t believe that such a high profile show, in year 2024, uses suicide in such an irresponsible way. Makes it “cool” looking, gives vulnerable people a playlist, actually. Says “wait a minute, not yet”, and later LETS HER FINISH IT? Wft. Like it’s okay? Like it’s a good end for her?
Isha’s story is also part of this problem. I can’t believe her earlier end was not mentioned later. What was the point of it? Was it a good thing for a seven year old to sacrifice herself? You would think so, they way the show sidesteps the whole thing. The way Jinx is repeating what Isha had done, with no reflection on it. I also have no idea WHY Isha has done it. Was it a consequence of something someone else did, or said? Didn’t seem so. Jinx didn’t really fuck that one up, I think. I thought Isha was jinx’s foil, but it ended up not meaning anything. Was it going to show Jinx her own actions as a child, so she could find some empathy towards Vi? But Isha was not mentioned, so who knows what they were trying to say.
Summary of my other opinions, with no details as it’s too long already:
-I liked Victor and Jayce’s ending. Their relationship had enough time/buildup throughout the whole series to pull of the weight of it. It was a little bit rushed at times, but not as much as the rest of S2.
-I absolutely hated how they handled Cait, and she definitely ended up as my most disliked character.
-Mel was one of my favourites, but her story was the most rushed one is S2. I also wasn’t crazy happy that she also ended up mostly fighting at the end. I have no idea what the Black Rose lady was talking about with the whole empathy thing.
-I really liked episode 7, it was the best one from S2. Because they focused only on Ekko and Jayce, the story had time to breathe. The whiplash between their parts was crazy, but in a good way.
-The way they introduced the third faction, just so all main characters could unite was such a cop-out. The systemic problems were much too big to just be fixed by that, and the show just brushes it all under the rug. And the end is just fighting. Ugh.
-Well, it was obviously very pretty. Every frame a perfect picture and all that. Weird complaint, but some designs were “too good”. Too polished. Too much like a high-end commercial for a new skin that costs 200$. It was so distracting for me :P Especially with some Victor “outfits”
-The biggest, most pervasive problem was the time. So much stuff, so little time. It should have been three seasons. There was no time to breathe, no time to understand what’s going on. Characters running from one massive scene to next, with no build-up in between. Just so everyone can end up similar enough to their LoL variant. A bit disappointing.
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bisquitly · 8 months ago
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Love you Jere but... that Oddly good tastes aaaawful...
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ruporas · 2 years ago
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can’t talk about it
[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.
Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We  can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."
The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"
The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."
The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."
The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."
The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]
#vashwood#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#Theyre both thoroughly exhausted tired individuals -- vash having to fight this lonely battle for over a hundred years and getting dragged#back into inevitable situation with knives after a 2 years hiatus of being a gunslinger. they both need so much Rest and comfort in this#department... .SIGHS. BUT I JUST THINK ABOUT WOLFWOOD . AND HOW... LITTLE He has existed on no man's land. how majority of his years being#alive is being used as a weapon and to kill when him at his very core is the most giving and selfless individual ever#badlands rumble inspired me a bit but i do think wolfwood gets dragged into occasional tasks from the eye of michael while on his duty of#guiding vash -- or i think that one chapter where we got to see other members of eom -- there's like a clear division within the eom too#i think.... so i figured similarly to vash but not to the same amount -- there are people that look for wolfwood too. but most of the time#it's probably wolfwood that has to look for someone else and take them out. i feel like it happens ever so occasionally.#evidentially these two don't talk enough canonically but they always know how to express things properly to affirm that they're okay#they have the worst time ever sharing burdens - can't willingly burden the other and has neeever asked for help or reprieve in their#desperate situations... vw is a huge case of right person wrong time syndrome so they just. in the time they get to spend together -- even#if romantically - they don't have enough time to heal to get over that kind of hurdle. They've just never asked for help in all the years#they've been alive -- they don't even know how to and its just aughhhsgskg#and well! they don't even need to ask! because they'll be there for each other anyway at the end of the day -- company and presence alone.#ruporas art
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shakingparadigm · 6 months ago
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In a modern au I think the wagyein would be like one of those gaint ass crocodiles that Ivan gets away with keeping because its technically a service animal. As long as its on a leash its all good and not a threat to the public!!
Ivan being rewarded with a more expensive and unique kind pet like a whole fucking crocodile honestly seems pretty in line for him 😭 especially since it adds a new "chic" flair to his photoshoots and his general aesthetic. Imagine Ivan's new photoshoot drops and he's in a suit posing with a fucking crocodile. Insane.
I really like the imagery of this large, scaly and dangerous looking reptile being tamed as Ivan's pet, something that could help boost his image and push that luxurious, enigmatic vibe. You know, like how stereotypical evil lairs have sharks or other rare and dangerous animals guarding the entrance or simply acting as accessory. That kind of vibe. I also like the imagery of this sharp creature being forced into submission and captivity. Forced to become a good, obedient pet, holding in its urges and keeping its teeth hidden. A being taken from the ruthless, grimy darkness, cleaned and maintained to perfection, forced to perform for the cameras. Ivan can empathize, he knows what it's like.
"Technically a service animal" is fucking hysterical. Ivan going Hello, sir! Please excuse my emotional support 12ft crocodile. Don't worry, he's very well-behaved.
I actually think Ivan would get along very well with his hypothetical crocodile. Just like the wagyein, he'd feel connected to it in a very personal way. Also just like the wagyein I think Ivan would be the only person it would never harm. In my head I have the mental image of Ivan petting and cuddling it as if it were a puppy.
#if ivan owns a crocodile luka would own a snake. like those unique kinds that could probably kill you#mizi would own jellyfish in a large aquarium....#i mean. in a modern au these people would literally be the nepo babies of high class rich people. endless possibilities#also you know that one interpretation of ivan and the wagyein where it's like#ivan embracing the wagyein symbolizes him embracing the idea that he is a “monster” (in his own eyes)#he can understand the wagyein on a deeper level because he is so fundamentally different from everyone else#the wagyein doesnt hurt him. even allowing him to rest in its maw unharmed#while it hurt till enough for him to literally be laying on the ground bruised in the og black sorrow storyboards. it frightens mizi too#thinking about ivans close relationship with danger. how he views himself as someone who can only hurt others#or someone who isnt even deserving enough for the pain he causes to matter to anyone (“you don't care about me”)#i think ivan embracing dangerous creatures while till fights back against them says a lot about both of their personalities#ivan is embracing and giving love to the part of himself that he knows would scare other people away. sharper. raw. intense and uninhibited#something that he has to hide or mask in order to be accepted. just like how the wagyein has to be hidden away from everyone else#SORRY MIGHT BE OOC im not in the best mindstate rn#this is just yhe thoughts in my head atm. no polish. my bad#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#asks
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charlesreedscoolhat · 1 month ago
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Charles: and how do I contact you in the future?
Johannes: you don't 🌟 bye you soggy bitch ✨️🕺✨️🕺🟨🟨🟨
#and then you barely see him for the rest of the game#the sinking city#coolhatposts#man i would have loved to be able to visit johannes's house! maybe you go there to discuss a case or catch up or whatever#i can totally see a dramatic parlor scene playing out that could give a lot more foundation for future story events#and maybe you can just visit his place sometimes and read philosophy books or something. maybe he rotates a couple books out for charles#on a table or smth and you can go read it#or maybe it's excerpts from lovecraft!!#GOD you guys do you see what i mean there's so much to add to the game#Johannes is fascinating as a character but then we only see him like. three times max#and at least one of those times he's probably dead#i just think it makes sense for charles to seek company with the only person he knows in the city a couple times before the plot starts#picking up. i could see maybe they have two or three dinners/drinks with Important Conversations#but i do think it's a wasted opportunity not to have johannes be more involved. he's the player's window into the upper class weird shit#in oakmont. he's our connection to a secret society and he knows graham and i would bet money he knew about the cannibal restaurant#GOD as soon as I'm done w the project I'm working on I'm gonna be replaying and writing SO MUCH you guys#never been a writer before but I'll make it happen#the possibilities are too cool to ignore#please please please someone else start posting abt tsc I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE THERE. I KNOW ME AND LOVELYHEADS ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES W IDEAS
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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 27 days ago
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RiAAU Sasha's complicated relationship with her adoptive parents, Percy and Braddock, stems from an awkward mixture of unconditional love, resentment over their inability to protect her from Grime in her childhood, and their fear of what she's become.
#raised in amphibia au#amphibia#sasha waybright#my posts#they sort it out but it takes time#percy and braddock have loved sasha since she was brought to the Tower all dirty and crying and scared at the tender age of 3#and they did their best but also... they were very young themselves. like early 20s maybe#hell they weren't even together by the time they adopted her#they were just friends who saw this kid in need of parents and legal guardians and decided to take care of her#but with Grime being their superior and Sasha being forced to grow up in the Tower...#Percy and Braddock had to do compulsory military service for like. 15 years or something idk. this is my made up toad lore: toads have to do#at least 15 years of military service in their youth. like not all of them. there's probably like some sort of lottery and if you're#disabled or had a family that depended on you or if your daddy is a corrupt politician or something you'll be spared#the rest can either follow the law and be assigned to the closest tower or like. become a runaway criminal and join a group of bandits#or something#anyway percy and braddock had to do their time in the South Toad Tower so they couldn't just leave with their kid#and raise her in a more child-friendly enviroment#another point of contention! when sasha learns there's another human who was raised in a quaint little farm by frogs in wartwood she just#it's devastating to her because *that could have been her*. she could have been safe and she could have grown up like a normal kid#she could have developed like a normal person instead of becoming... *this*#and she resents Percy and Braddock for not giving her away to someone else when she was little. for not noticing when she started#acting ''abnormal'' as a result of trauma. she could have been normal like Anne. but she wasn't.#pair that to the fact Sasha is the one who remembers Earth the most and the one who wants to go back the most#AND the one who feels the most distant to her adoptive family#and the understanding that she's been *broken into* this world and that she can never go back. even if she finds a way... she can't go back.#she can't bring her REAL parents this monster#she can't explain what happened to her#and even if she went back Amphibia would alwahs haunt her#so. she can't go back. not like this.
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dirtbra1n · 2 years ago
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it’s always when I have things to be doing that this happens but it’s like. I don’t know I’ve gone so far into weird love territory and I’ve been here so long that when I go back and really look at canon it’s like it’s new to me. because like do you ever think about how hanzawa masato just sort of DECIDED that tashiro would be the next captain of the ping pong club. like it wasn’t a recommendation or anything that decision was made. and absolutely if tashiro genuinely GENUINELY didn’t want to do it nothing bad would have really happened, someone else could have done it, sure. you know? but at the end of the day tashiro, in the midst of his running away, had that thought, like. not in a thought bubble but in a b Hold on
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in the narration box. like it’s not a fleeting in-the-moment thought like the whole poor shmuck thing. I’m not explaining this well. it’s just you get the impression that tashiro thinks about things a lot and also tangentially kind of thinks about his hanzawa senpai a lot and that realization of burden is so significant to tashiro that he takes on the position of captain
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and he doesn’t look him in the face when he does it, and I love it. I love when things are indirect and subtle and sort of reluctant because it’s human and speaks to sincerity and tashiro’s grounded…ness that he isn’t unflinchingly happy to do it. he still doesn’t really want to do it. but he will. and he’ll do it WELL. because and this so matters hanzawa masato just sort of DECIDED that tashiro would be the next captain of the ping pong club because he knows tashiro and has been watching tashiro as a fun kouhai who he likes a lot and who makes him laugh like literally no one else in the world, and he knows that he would be a good president because he is, amongst other relevant things, a good person. the right kind of good person! he wouldn’t have forced tashiro to do it because frankly he couldn’t REALLY force tashiro to do it, tashiro has a way of getting around things (pudding head….) but he decided tashiro would be captain, because he knows tashiro, and tashiro decided to take that on, because he sees hanzawa. he decided that tashiro would be captain, and tashiro decided to accept that decision because hanzawa decided correctly.
and tashiro cares, and encourages his senpai to rest, and we get the FUCKING.
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that just speaks VOLUMES. hanzawa masato who notoriously stays busy for at least one of two known reasons that sound a little contradictory but aren’t actually is resting right now. hanzawa masato who is so weird and so unknowable to his juniors is wearing a small smile that, unlike so many of his other ones (ominous as they are, usually), shows for only contentment. he’s resting right now. like the tashiro gonzaburou hanzawa masato dynamic IS so weird I’m not delusional for that. but my favorite thing that I think I do a really bad job of showing is that their exchanges go back and forth and are so much fun for the both of them, and it’s exactly like PING PONG. well matched and silly and hanzawa masato knows tashiro gonzaburou and if tashiro gonzaburou doesn’t know hanzawa masato he sure as hell sees him, and wants to know him, just a little at least, and it’s all so much. I’m resting right now. fuck. anyway
#bangs fist on the floor. is on the floor.#hanzawa to tashiro#hanzashiro#and really the fact that tashiro is hiding around the corner to hear the milk tea exchange with miyano. and then brings him some#ASSUMING HE DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW. it’s just like. i wish i was more comfortable writing tashiro he’s so much to me#silly little guy for sure. but intentionally taking on a burden for someone else when it’s explicitly something he doesn’t want to do#(or maybe just something he felt he wasn’t qualified to do. depends. probably both)#and doing well at it. the person hanzawa masato is trusting in the most.#just. someone who doesn’t want to be responsible but will be and someone who old people LOVE and someone who accepts things without judgment#and someone who will hide in a box on the floor to hide from his senpai and just as well walk right up to him and hide his face#and accept the trust masato was putting in him.#like this of all things isn’t really a burden to masato because he’s. he’s RESTING right now. of all the pies he has fingers in#this might actually be his favorite. for a number of reasons that are mostly speculative#but it’s SYMBOLIC of a burden. am i making any sense at all. i might not be#masato is giving this one away because it’s not really a burden to him exactly. but tashiro is taking it because he feels it’s a burden but.#how do i say this. it’s not a burden to masato but it IS a weight on his shoulders whether he realizes it or not#and tashiro takes it from him—not unreluctantly—because he cares. because he wants masato to rest.#i think talking this long is manifesting a tin cap on my head. i should go#dirtbrain digression#tldr it IS weird love. but just not AS weird or the KIND of weird that i’d have it be. haaaah i’m sick
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blackvahana · 2 months ago
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Photo that looks like Yahar'gul on my dash, thinking about how Lev said ANVD is a land of the Sun because... as a sun spirit, the suns now. uh. I don't really want to get into it just yet because territorial animalistic feelings over what I create, but the sun I've decided to just allow to be my metaphorical paintbrush
Anyway. He said that and... My house is slowly turning more into this motif that's been echoing since I created a mindspace with lull when we thought we were a system, sort of? I always have houses now with courtyards in the middle of them, starting from there. Yahar'gul was also The Sunshine Village to us, in that we felt like it worshiped the Sun and the Sun was a huge part of it pre-Bloodborne's timeline... Which of course I now know has huge implications with regards to it being a mirror of the Drowned City and Lev, who I didn't know personally at the time, being a Sun god and all the complicated shit between the two of them... It was just sort of... I don't know. I don't know whether it's "ANVD was a part of me the whole time" or "I could've gone down, and was being brought down, a really bad nightmarish facsimile of the path I was supposed to be on". Maybe it's both, I feel like ANVD has been around since before it's creation in the way Lev says he knew me (Dei) before I was born (as Dei)... But anyway. It was kinda... I don't know the feeling I'm supposed to have here
Anyway. I was thinking about that
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Lev was telling me about his study which I did actually remember talking to him about, I was half asleep but definitely awake.. He was sort of fixated on the sunlight in the room and you know. Yeah. Land of the Sun. It does hurt I think, the Sunshine Village I was convinced this life was my home, fake memories obscuring real ones.... And yet... Home is touchable. I knew I belonged to a place of sun's power I just never thought I'd get back in my feet and be allowed to be a sky god again, I thought I'd always be stuck down here
#Sad. Poignant. I don't know. It's something#But I don't know if I'm mourning a self that theoretically went down the wrong path or I'm just experiencing emotions i#hadn't been able to feel for years. Probably the latter in that yeah. I always took his word that I was the bad guy#And I tried to leave and probably shouldve understood that someone saying I'm abusive and then chasing me when I say#sorry ill leave you alone so I can't hurt you... chasing and refusing to let me leave. Huh. Anyway. Not even a case of some people know#who Black is therefore I shouldn't be rambling I mean he's open about the whole I Get It thing but like. Theres so much....#So much I - Dei. All the incarnations - never got time to process I think. I don't think any of us - not even just lives of Black -#have been able to process for many lives now. I'm looking out at ANVD proper and it's like... I can breathe. I have a home#Im looking at the sunlight and it's just shining. There's no chase to it. There's no dark cloud of lulls - a god in his own right though#undeservedly - shadowing all our actions and fate and energies and moments. Lull and everyone else. There's no....#There's just sunlight. There's just a study far above the world and sunlight and we didn't get this peace by warding the fuck#out of a single space a single room please give us space to take a break before we get thrown back in style#This is just.......... It just Is now#ramblings //#Black and I sitting resting at the top of the world - and finally not having to cut ourselves off from the bottom while we sit here#We can sip tea and still be connected to everything. There's no rabid feral dogs nipping at our throats. There's no constant competition#Wahoo. Yippee.#astral diary //#Diary //
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