#probably why i was putting off posting it

[thedoritodealerofthewoods]

OooHOOOHOO

Man

Copy pasting my thoughts from my ramble at the friend who showed this post to me because I'm satisfied with the way I put them. Spoiler warning for wof arc 1 below

How does this work? Does she know the prophecy is fake from the moment Morrowseer visits the cave to observe the dragonets? Maybe he wasn’t thinking about it well enough for her to realize he doesn’t believe the prophecy - “hmmm…. This one isn’t good enough. This one will work better. This one will accomplish the need very effectively-” could all be interpreted as someone who doesn’t trust in fate to do it’s own work. Maybe this annoys her, but the truth doesn’t register.

Or does she deny obvious “lol this thing isn’t real” thoughts with the certainty that he’s wrong. And maybe she hates him because of it right off the bat - though she might not tell the others exactly why beyond a potential cryptic “he doesn’t even know what he’s talking about!” To which she gets the average response of “lol alright Sunny. Anyway I want to punt him into the sky because he hates Glory” - !!! Right - iirc, Morrowseer tells the guardians to kill her, but to the side where the dod don’t hear him. (Can’t check atm cause cat on lap). Maybe Sunny gets all bolt-upright-shock at a certain point and starts frantically trying to convince everyone that Glory is in danger the second he leaves, before anything is overheard. They maybe think she’s overreacting, that of course he hates me Sunny I’m a rainwing and yeah but they wouldn’t go that far haha - but eventually the conversation is overheard and they all realize the truth and the escape kicks off (with the difference of Sunny being in on it this time - unless they maybe still think she might accidentally let something slip).

Also - the moment in the tunnel with Morrowseer fits a little too well to change at all. He opens his mouth to gloat, to tell them all the truth, and no, no, no! She’s pleading for him to stop before he speaks a word because she knows, she knows, and maybe she always has, maybe she should have seen it sooner but it’s the only hope the others have, the only reason they’re still trying and she can’t let them lose it. She can’t lose it. She can’t lose them.

Oh! Also - does she tell the rest of the dod? Probably not, I’d guess. Starflight would be crushed. As far as they all know till the last book, she’s just a weird SandWing. Not only did Starflight fail to have any powers, but she got both. Maybe she tried to tell them before it occurred to her that it might hurt him, but no one believed her. She’s just supposedly really good at picking up on stuff. Can’t hide anything from her.

Also - mindreading and foresight would only feed into the hyper-empathy. She’s so worried about everyone all the time because she can hear their pain, she knows what they’re worried about, she can hear their hopes and dreams and she can see the fates everyone tumbles through. When the dod eventually find out about her powers, I can see Tsunami probably saying something along the lines of “hey, if you can see in everyone’s heads, why did you still trust the guardians so much? Why do you still care about them? Why do you still want to help everyone when everyone is trying to KILL US!??” To which she simply responds that that is the reason.

thrice-moonborn sunny :)

[lovegalor333]

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

woman crush wednesday pt 2 (previous part)

summary: you and paige finally go on the long awaited date

content warnings: none!

It had been three weeks since your first phone call with Paige and since then, it has become a nightly occurrence. Talking and giggling into the early hours until sleep eventually takes over. You have fallen asleep on FaceTime a few times too, waking in the morning to Paige silently getting ready for her day.

You both had busy schedules but they had finally aligned and Paige was coming into the city to see you for the first time. Even though you felt like you knew Paige decently well after hours of calls, you were still nervous. Meeting someone for the first time spiked your fight or flight. What if you wasn’t how Paige had imagined you? What if seeing you in real life made her feel differently?

You settled your nerves with a small glass of wine as you got yourself ready. It was a crisp autumnal evening in New York City and you both had decided on getting a coffee from your favourite place and walking around Central Park would be perfect for your first date.

You and Paige were similar in the sense, you were both really simple girls. You enjoyed being home and didn’t care for the lavish things in life. You were looking forward to just spending time with Paige, talking to her and being able to look in her eyes as she stood in front of you, rather than through a screen.

Paige was getting to your apartment at 5PM and it was almost that time so you applied a final layer of lip balm, a few spritz of your favourite perfume and readied yourself to leave.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket, Paige was here.

Your stomach fluttered as you rode the elevator down, you took in a few deep breaths and checked your reflection in the mirror. You had kept your outfit simple and makeup to a minimum. Paige was used to seeing you on stage or red carpets, you wanted her to see the real you today.

The elevator opened and there she was, in all her glory. She looked even better in person if that was possible, she looked like a goddess through the FaceTime camera but the way her eyes shone and skin glistened while she was just metres away from you had you lost for words. Her hair was down and straight, tucked behind her ears and she was wearing khaki pants with matching trainers and a pink and brown shirt. Why were you already imagining yourself wearing it? It would hang on your body oversized and it would probably smell like her.

“Hello Y/N.” Paige breaks your daydream, a smile spreading on her face as you walk towards her.

“Hi Paige.” You say shyly and she opens her arms for a hug and you step into it so naturally any nerves you had vanish within seconds.

“You look gorgeous.” She complements as you pull apart and you feel your cheeks heat up even though she’s said that every time you’ve been on video call even when your half asleep with messy hair and in your pyjamas.

“Thank you. You look great. I’m not used to seeing you wear a shirt.” You joke as most of the time, Paige calls you post practice and she’s almost always in her sports bra.

“I can take this off but let’s get that coffee first.” She says cheekily and her hand falls to the small of your back as she leads you out of the apartment building.

You and Paige argue over who’s paying for your drinks as the barista watches you both grapple to reach the card reader.

“It was my suggestion. Let me pay.” You state.

“I’m taking you on a date. Let me pay.” Paige quips back.

“But you traveled into the city. Let me.”

“Y/N put the damn card away. I’m paying.” Her voice is assertive and dominant and her arm stretches over you to tap her card.

“Thank you.” You say as you collect the drink, “You’re welcome but never do that again. As long as you’re with me, everythings on me.”

“Paige-“

“No arguememts, gorgeous.”

Yes ma’am.

The walk to Central Park is quick and filled with lighthearted chatter, between you and Paige. She reaches out to touch you multiple times. Her hand grazing your cheek to move a piece of hair, a protective arm around your waist as you cross the road and each time you felt your skin tingle and then a sense of longing once the moment was over.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You say as you find a secluded bench to sit on together. You sit so close, your legs are touching and Paige places a hand on your thigh, “I am too. Sorry it told so long for me to figure out.”

“It’s OK, I know you’re busy. I am too. But what do they say? Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that.” The last bit comes out of your mouth without you realising.

“Your heart is fond of me?” Paige asks, the corners of her mouth curving up slightly and you feel a blush creeping onto your face.

“I didn’t- I don’t-“ You stutter out, unsure of how it would make Paige feel.

“No. Don’t backtrack. My heart is fond of you too. I wouldn’t spend every night speaking to you or I wouldn’t have drove three hours here if it wasn’t.”

“Really?” You ask, averting your gaze because it felt weird hearing that from someone. You weren’t a relationship girl, in fact you’d only ever been in one relationship and it was so far from perfect, you didn’t think people like Paige existed.

“Yes really, gorgeous.” Paige confirms, lifting your chin so you’re looking at her again.

“I thought maybe I was being too full on. I know people don’t like that.” You say, now looking into her eyes. Her blue, blue eyes.

“I’m not people. I’m Paige and you could never be too full on with me.”

“In that case…my heart is definitely fond of you.” You admit, now mirroring Paiges soft smile.

The air is charged as you sit looking into each others eyes, Paiges hand still firmly rested on your thigh. She glances down and your lips and you glance down at hers. Her tongue pokes out to run across them and your breathing hitches at the way they look, so plump and wet, slightly apart and you begin to lean in as she does the same.

Paiges hand leaves your thigh and finds your neck as your lips meet in a needy but gentle kiss. She pushes into it, her tongue slipping into your mouth and you moan at the sensation. You’ve thought about this moment, dreamed about it so many times but nothing could have prepared you for how it felt. Her fingers tangling into the back of your hair, her soft skin under your fingertips, her scent the only thing you can smell.

You’re both left red cheeked and slightly breathless and you can’t help but giggle at each other and as you do, the heavens open and rain begins to pour. You gasp at the feeling of water already seeping through your clothes and wetting your skin.

“Typical.” Paige laughs and she grabs your hand pulling you up from the bench and you both start running.

“Where are we going?” You ask trying your best to match Paiges strides.

The rain was heavy, already dripping down your face, blurring your vision and you kept a tight grip on Paiges hand hoping that she would lead the way.

“To find shelter…so I can kiss you again.” Paige breathes out and she looks to you, her hair so wet, it looks a few shades darker.

“We’re already drenched.” You say, her shirt is stuck to her skin, outlining her muscular physique and you can feel rain leaking into your shoes with every step you take.

Paige stops running but you can’t stop fast enough so you bump into her and she grabs your waist, balancing you, “You’re right. We are drenched so we might as well stay right here.” She says and she crashes her lips to yours again. It’s hungrier this time, her hand is firm on your waist as the rain batters down on you both, you grip onto her shirt, pulling her closer, wanting more, needing more.

You don’t care that you’re in the middle of Central Park, in the pouring rain. You care that you’re with Paige, finally and it’s better than you ever expected.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

a/n: hi i actually hate this 😖 i didn’t write for a few days while i was moving house and i feel like i’ve forgotten how to…

[felassan]

Polygon article.

Rest of post under a cut due to length and possible spoilers.

“I’ll say one of the greatest challenges of this game, but also one of the most enjoyable things, was, How do the Dalish react when their gods are out in the world and rampaging?” creative director John Epler told Polygon. It seems that across the board every Dalish elf in the game pretty much rejects their risen gods now that they’ve shown their true hand. Two of Rook’s companions, elven historian Bellara Lutare and Grey Warden Davrin, come from Dalish clans themselves and even though they’re a little shaken about confronting their gods, they’re not conflicted about doing so. In fact, among Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain’s lackeys and puppets, there’s not a single elf to be found. Epler said that it’s vindication for the Dalish — which is nice to see considering how they’ve been portrayed in past games. “Dragon Age has not always been the kindest to the Dalish,” he said. “Somebody once made a joke to me, and it’s not untrue, that it’s possible to wipe out a Dalish clan in all three of the games in some way.” In Origins, siding with the werewolves in the Brecilian Forest quest leads to the clan being destroyed. In Dragon Age 2, if you defend your companion Merrill’s blood magic usage, her clan attacks you and must be killed. And in Dragon Age: Inquisition, if you’re playing as an elven Inquisitor, you can accidentally kill your clan by picking the wrong options in the War Table mission. It’s not easy being a Dalish elf in Thedas. Still, though, why haven’t any Dalish elves decided to join forces with their gods? As Epler put it, the gods simply don’t care about them. They’re looking for followers in other places. Even though the end of Dragon Age: Inquisition’s Trespasser DLC revealed that Solas had amassed a network of elven agents, they weren’t going to be swayed. “Solas’ agents were never there for power,” Epler said. “They were there for a sense of identity and a purpose. And I would say that it’s fair that Fen’Harel probably bent the truth to them when he was doing his recruiting pitch — the part where he says ‘I’m going to destroy the world’ at the end of Trespasser [was] not what he was telling them.” Solas’ agents are almost jarringly absent from The Veilguard, with barely any mention of how far and wide they spread in the years prior to the game. But they do have very good reason for not being the ones joining up with the gods. “Those blighted, decrepit gods, they’re not bothering with the soft pitch,” Epler explained. “Their pitch is, We’re going to make a horrible world. We’re going to give you a lot of power, and maybe you’ll be OK.” On a more meta note, the Dalish just needed an in-game win. It’s refreshing that Bellara and Davrin get to honor their culture and also not be ostracized from it and possibly forced to kill their clan, as was the case with Merrill in Dragon Age 2. And instead of being accidentally (or purposely!) killed off by the player character, the Dalish elves in The Veilguard get to righteously rally against the mages that they once called gods and reclaim part of their history. “I love that the Dalish in this game, by and large, are saying, No, we were lied to. We were the first victims of these gods. We’re going to fight back,” Epler said. “And they really get a sense to kind of rise up in this game and start establishing themselves in this way that in the future I can’t wait to go back to, but in this game gives them a sense of a win. They get a victory in how they respond to the threat of the gods in this game.”

[source]

[pinkiemachine]

Random Batman Thoughts…

This all partially began when I saw a post recently that featured an enraged Batman fan going after the “Soft Batman” fans. Aka, the “Good Father Bruce Wayne” fans. The person in said post claimed that, in reality, Bruce is a brutally tortured and mentally dysfunctional bad dad and frequently hits his children and should never, ever be considered “pure” as they seemed to think so many of these “naive” fans do.

I, personally, have never once considered Bruce a perfect father figure. However, I’d be lying if I said I have never wanted him to be. What’s alluring about the idea that so many of us “Soft Batman” fans have conjured up here on the internet is that, simply put, we just want to see Bruce get better. We want to see him heal. We want to see him happy, and for him to not hurt the people he cares about.

We all know he’s a brutally tortured character. We all know he’s hurting, and broken, and angry. If he wasn’t, he would cease to be Batman. However, I have a question for the people on the other side of the fandom: do you want Bruce to continue to be horrible? I feel the need to genuinely ask, because there are some individuals out there who seem to think the darkness is all there is to his character, 100% of the time (which is NOT true, by the way). I know it’s easy to come away from a run or two of the comics thinking that—the sheer number of comics written for Batman that are just so deeply depressing and dark and horrifying, is, uh… it’s not a small number—but again, that’s not every single panel of every single comic out there. There are plenty of moments where, even just for a little while, Bruce shows that he’s more than the mask. He shows us that he’s still a human being who wants to care about people. Who does love the people closest to him—or at least, he tries to, even though he’s really bad at it (and then there’s the trauma and etc etc…)

ahem

So… why do some fans want people to give up on “Soft Batman” and “Good Dad Bruce Wayne?” I’d like to think that it’s just because in the comics, by and large, Bruce is portrayed as an emotionally unavailable, difficult father figure at best, and a kidnapping psychopath at worst. And, you know, I do get wanting comic book accuracy (ESPECIALLY in this day and age) but I have a counter question… is it so bad to depict Bruce as—at the very least—trying to be a good dad? I know, I know, some fans get carried away and we make our silly little fan art of a hyper idealised Bruce, and everyone’s dancing and skipping and having a jolly good time, and I know that must seem off-putting to the hardcore fans—but guys… it’s fan fiction/fan art. This is just a playground where anyone and everyone can use their imagination to create whatever the snarfblat they want. It’s wish fulfilment, and fantasy indulgent, and good, plain fun. And for what it’s worth, I prefer people making wholesome, kind, and loving fan art rather than just more senseless blood, gore, and p***. The world doesn’t need more of that than it already has. But… as far as fans on the internet go, I say, get off their backs. This is supposed to just be for fun. I know it’s annoying, but so long as it doesn’t start affecting you and your section of the fandom and—especially—the mainline continuity, then what’s the harm? I say, let sleeping dogs lie.

HOWEVER, FOR THE RECORD I would like to say, just because I’m one of those people who enjoys the “Soft Batman” stuff, that doesn’t mean I would actually want a whole tv show of nothing but “Soft Batman.” Nor would I write a series of nothing but “Soft Batman.” (A lot of you are probably aware that I’m writing a series synopsis for my own Batman show, Superman show, Wonder Woman show, etc.) I’ve read a good chunk of Wayne Family Adventures, and while I did enjoy myself a lot, there were moments where I was like, “Okay, yeah, this is getting a little too sappy.” Like, I would never write Jason having a panic attack and all the Bat Fam being all cuddly and supportive and Bruce kissing him on the head. As sweet as the idea is… it’s just a little much. For a mainline Batman tv show or movie, it does still need the dark and the gritty and the serious, otherwise it’s just not Batman anymore. Actually, my ideal writer’s room for something like this would consist mostly of men. Preferably, men who all know, love, and respect the source material. For as much of an aspiring writer as I am, at the end of the day Batman is a boys franchise—and I think that’s how it’s meant to be and how it’s meant to stay.

To that end, there are aspects about writing Bruce’s story that I don’t have an intimacy with, but a lot of men do. And my end goal for making any kind of Batman show is to give the fans a ride they will never forget. I want to give them something that excites them, that compels them, that means something to them, that makes them cry manly tears on occasion, but mostly something that’s fun to watch. Something both kids and adults have fun watching. I love writing personal, sweet scenes, and they will still be present because I do think they matter and will make the overall narrative stronger, but I don’t ever want the show to come off as wishy washy or touchy feely all of the time. There still needs to be a lot of action, a lot of epic fight scenes, a lot of real detective work, a lot of serious discussions, a lot of world building, and as much DNA of the original comics as possible. (Minus the particularly infuriating overcomplicated plots, and the constant shock baiting for the sake of comic sales.)

I guess I say all this to say… there’s a time and place for all the aspects of Batman. There’s a time and place for the dark and the gritty and anger and the being a bad dad who doesn’t know how to raise kids, and there’s a time and a place for the healing and the love and mild silliness and Bruce trying to do better for the sake of the people around him. Isn’t that the end goal of a story like this? Isn’t the point of having Bruce go through all of this darkness to then have him learn and grow and heal and get to a better place? I personally don’t see any point in his story otherwise. The only reason—the ONLY reason—a sad, depressing story should have a sad, depressing ending is if it’s a cautionary tale and/or teaches the audience about something important. Without that, a fully sad ending to a fully sad story is just a pointless exercise in meaninglessness, and that makes for empty, shallow art and abysmal entertainment. (Perhaps there’s an exception out there, but I’ve never heard of it.) If it has to be sad, then let it be bittersweet. Let there be something of value that was gained during the story, even if the overall tone of the ending is forlorn/sombre.

As for Bruce’s story… what else could it be besides a story about healing? Bruce fights not just to keep Gotham safe, but he also fights in the hopes that at least some of his villains can be redeemed. Perhaps it’s his own way of hoping that he can be redeemed as well. And the BatFamily is, surprisingly, a perfect vessel for that story. I’ll try not to make it too sappy, but come on, going from an orphan who was almost completely alone, drowning in darkness and trauma and guilt and grief, to a man who’s made something of himself and made a difference in the world and made it better and finds himself surrounded by such a large family of people who care about him, even if it is still a little dysfunctional? That sounds like a story that’s worthwhile.

Batman cannot stay a solo act. Too much of his story DEPENDS on him having Alfred, on having Robin, and learning how to heal if he’s going to have any kind of meaningful ending at all.

Sorry for the long post, this has just been rattling around in my brain and I felt like I needed to tell someone…

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ slashers scenarios | may i have this dance?

♡ fandoms; Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original + 2006), House of Wax, The Boy, Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)

♡ characters; Micheal Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Vincent Sinclair, Brahms Heelshire

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡cw; none really!!

♡notes; this popped into my brain the other day and i thought we were due for some fluff. i’m writing part two congruently so that’ll be posted soon too!!

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

Micheal Myers

> Micheal Myers does not dance

> He doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t want to learn

> But like with a lot of things, you get him to bend his rules

> He has a habit of looming in doorways to watch you

> At first it’s disconcerting, but you learn it’s just how he is

> So you pay him no mind as he’s watching you dance around the kitchen to some song that’s too popular for him to know

> Sweet and silly and carefree…

> He clicks the speaker off with a quiet huff

> “Hey, I was listening to that-“ You pout

> He rolls his eyes and puts on something a bit more to his taste

> And before you can playfully complain any more, he wraps his arms around you from behind and sways softly

> It takes a second for you to process it- he’s not normally so…gentle

> But in his own weird little way, he’s dancing with you

> He tenses a bit when you turn around- he’s embarrassed but would never admit it- but when you kiss his cheek he relaxes and gives a quiet hum

>And he keeps swaying as you lay your head on his chest

>Just for you, as long as you don’t tell anyone…Micheal Myers does dance. Just a little.

Thomas Hewitt

> Thomas doesn’t think about dancing

> He’s seen it on TV, read about it in books…but the Hewitts aren’t really the dancing types

> Nearest thing to dancing that he can think of ever doing is being held by his mama, when she’d sing and rock him when he was hurt or upset

> And it’s been a long time since anyone could hold him like that

> But one day you’re upset- he doesn’t know why but you burst into tears the moment he walked in, and it has him in a tizzy

> He quickly scoops you up, checking for any injuries but…nothing. You’re just crying and he hates seeing you like that

> So he does what used to make him feel better

> He can’t sing- or at least won’t, his words are always few and far between- but he hums, low and rumbling in his chest

> As he holds you and slowly sways you start to calm down

> You sniffle and all of the sudden giggle

> “Thomas Hewitt; are you dancin’ with me right now?”

> He looks confused but slowly nods as he thinks about it

> “Well thank you. I needed this.”

> He nuzzles you and continues until you’re calm- and far after that if you’ll let him

Bubba Sawyer

> As we know, Bubba is a very sheltered fellow, but he does like dancing!

> He’s not particularly coordinated but he doesn’t need much coaxing to twirl you around and around

> He’ll dance without music, humming a nonsense tune to you, maybe even whistling

> And if you sing to him he can’t help grinning and giggling

> It’s not uncommon for him to sway and spin with you in the living room if the radio got left on

> And he gets shy when you’re caught by one of his brothers

> “Bubba you stop wasting time, you little—“

> You cock your hip and give Drayton a cold look

> “Oh, I’m a waste of time now, cook?”

> Like always a smart remark goes a long way with Drayton, the twins immediately “oooh”ing and teasing him as he flusters

> Soon enough he’s chasing them out cursing and wielding a pair of tongs

> Leaving you and Bubba forgotten and free to sneak off and continue your fun in peace

Vincent Sinclair

> You’d have to ask

> Probably more than once, honestly

> Vincent is an artistic man, that’s not a doubt in the slightest- but he’s not even a little interested in anything that involves performance

> But you have a way of getting your way with him

> “Vince baby?”

> “…”

> “Pretty please?”

> “…”

> “If we take pictures then you can paint us.”

> He perks up a bit and you know you’ve got him

> “Cmon silly!” You drag him into the house of Wax, camcorder in hand

> Having gotten that far, you finally realize you don’t particularly know how to dance either, not really

> But you don’t tell him that, instead turning on the music and pulling him against you

> You’re clumsy and awkward and adorable as you spin around with him, not even a bit embarrassed

> He isn’t sure the reference stills are usable, but he’s more than happy the sweet moment on camera

Brahms Heelshire

> Brahms treats you like royalty- whatever you want is yours

> So if you say you’d like to go dancing, he is more than happy to arrange something

> Though of course, he doesn’t like leaving home… no matter. There’s plenty of room in the manor

> He makes a date out of it- he’s prone to making dates out of lots of silly things

> Silly or not, it’s sweet, and as always you fawn over him and praise him for the thoughtfulness

> He even bought you a cute outfit for the occasion - he loves dolling you up (pun slightly intended)

> After setting the music he bows and offers his hand- being a rich brat he knows a bit of ballroom dancing

> He’s more than happy to teach you, humming “1-2-3” with your steps

> But he’s laughing and giggling and just can’t stop gushing over how cute you are

> So if you fall into slow dancing like it’s the prom, he doesn’t mind

> Any dance with you is more than he can ask for

[olderthannetfic]

Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).

As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.

It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.

But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.

I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?

The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.

--

Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.

People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.

The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)

I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."

[iilmunchkiin]

Just saw an absolutely amazing post that convinced me that Ceroba would be the one who confesses first.

(op turned turned off reblogs unfortunately so I'm making this post (┬┬﹏┬┬)) ("Just put the link to the post here-" No, you absolute buffoon, they turned it off for a reason and I'm going to respect that) (also potential rambling?? again??) (future LM here, yep there is alot of rambling. this was supposed to be a character analysis but I accidentally made a fic halfway LMAOAOAOAOAOA )

god I'm a sucker for slow burn and angst (duh, you all know that) I used to think that Starlo wouldn't be able to take it anymore and finally get the balls to confess to her, he goes up to her and it'll be the usual cheesy but wholesome moment with him nervously laughing, Ceroba getting surprised so she turns away while brushing off some hair that got on her face, Starlo sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and stuttering to get the words out. It'll all be planned of course he's a gentleman, he's just so stupidly nice and understanding that if Ceroba just flat out tells him "I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" I just know he's going to smile and tell her it's okay and he'd still be there for her and it won't affect their friendship at all and he's going to stay by her side de jashdkahsd sorry the brainworms are doing the thing again.

Of course the idea of Ceroba confessing first also came into my mind, her realizing she's in love with Starlo but now has to fight the guilt thinking that she's "betraying/cheating on Chujin" made the little angsty gremlin in me giggle but I just preferred it would be Starlo who breaks the ice just for shittles and giggles (I like seeing him get all blushy and shy HIHIHIHIH). Also adding the fact that Ceroba DID consider getting together with him but she brushes it off cuz she thinks he's still too immature. (Yes I am aware Ceroba acknowledges Starlo growing up in True Pacifist but I didn't give it that much thought I was in delulu land)

But then I saw the post and ho h my god oh my goddddddd.....

I was a fool

Starlo is aware of what Ceroba has gone through and as her childhood best friend he would respect her and not risk overwhelming her with a confession cuz OF COURSE HE WOULDNT, and if he DID consider confessing it would be YEARS after the whole "Clover-sacrificing-themselves-for-the-futue-of-monsterkind" ordeal but he would have probably fallen out of love at this point and it would go

⭐: "OH YEAH btw I had a crush on you when we were kids" 🦊: "HUH"

(not dismissing the chance he could still be in love with her despite that I mean he's dedicated and loyal and so damn devoted to her it makes sense, it was just had a funny thought giggles)

But then after reading the post, it reopened the idea of Ceroba confessing first and... oh my god it was glorious. It would start small, thinking he looked nice one day, subconsciously gazing at him and adoring him at the distance as he talks his usual nonsense at the saloon with the feisty 5, wanting to hang out with him a little more than usual, until it slowly builds up over time. She starts noticing the little things about him, his wide smile, the sound of his voice and the laughter he makes when he does his usual shenanigans with her in post-pacifist where things are starting to get brighter as they heal together, she would call him an idiot but god he would just smile at her again and the little dimples on the sides of his face would make her melt without knowing and she swears she felt her face get warm but brushes it off, thinking it's nothing. But that's where the snowball keeps getting bigger, she would see him talking to the folk again at the saloon and wish it was her he was laughing with, she'll quickly snap out of it, shake her head a little and think about how weird it was for her to have thought about that. She'd find herself beaming when he calls her name and feel so stupid for doing so, "Why am I so happy all of a sudden? He says my name all the time..."

And the snowball finally crashes when they have one of those talks, y'know the ones where you usually have at 3 am with your friends? Just talking about life in general, talking about the future, what are each of them scared of, what they feel and what they think about things, just being so vulnerable and open with each other. They've had their fair share of these talks but today was different. He looked absolutely stunning, despite being mentally exhausted he still looked divine, the way his eyes droop when his expression softens, the slow rise and fall of his chest when he sighs, his wide glistening smile turning into a small and soft curl on his lips. She can't help herself but make subtle touches and discreetly brush her shoulder against his as they lean towards the railings of the balcony, fighting the urge to just reach out and figure out small ways to make contact with him. She gazes at him the entire time, analyzing him, noticing all the little changes he makes, why can't she look away? She can't, she tried, so many times but it still ends up with her looking at him again trying to burn the image of him in her mind, wanting to leave it there forever. When the talk comes to a close, he turns to her and offers a hug, she accepts it and the moment he melts into her arms, she feels a sudden warmth on her chest and it instantly scatters around her entire body, enveloping her. They share each other's warmth, she slowly buries her face onto his shoulder, cherishing this small moment with him as they hold each other tight in each other's embrace. She's closing her eyes, inhaling his scent, it feels like she's in a dream, she doesn't want this moment to end, she doesn't wanna wake up just yet but.... They break a part, he gives her his goodbyes. As she goes home she lays in bed, face up, staring at the ceiling as she recalls everything that happened to her, putting pieces of the puzzle together as she finally comes to terms with herself and gets hit with the realization. It all comes crashing down to her, her eyes widen and she lets out an audible groan. She lays in silence for a moment, feeling absolute agony for being so stupid, she peaks through her fingers and looks back up the ceiling again, "Fuck..."

I haven't even dabbled with what goes on in her head after she accepts this fact, the sudden guilt consuming her, feeling like she betrayed Chujin, the person she loved with her entire soul only to fall for another. She hates it. And if she confesses she's going to be a wreck and Starlo just instantly goes to comfort her, telling her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to confess to h- No. She wants this, she's absolutely in love, he may have fallen first but she fell even harder, but with so much conflict in her mind, wanting to hold his hand without the weight on her shoulders pulling her back. The entire time they're together, Starlo finds the time to console her, comfort her, feeling horrible for making him stay up late just for her but he says he doesn't mind and he himself wants this, feeling absolutely honored to have her in her arms and that she trusts him so much that she's just so open and vulnerable and he's being so kind and patient to her I hate them I HATE THEM I FFUCKING HATE THUEJN R F FUCK FUCKF FFIFUUCJCC N I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

thE SLOW BURN IS SO SLOW BUT KEEP UP AND SET THE KITCHEN IN FLAMES PLEASE RAUGHHH

SAVE ME STAROBA W AS SAV VE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

TL;DR: uhhhh read a post and it convinced me that Ceroba slowly falls in love with Starlo over time without realizing it and when she finally does she feels really guilty cuz it feels like she's betraying Chujin, the slow burning is burning and the angst is scrumptious. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. /j

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 11/15

Lmao I am so sorry this is so late- I did not plan that. But your girl fell asleep thinking she scheduled this to post already....maybe it's meant to be tho lol.

Before we begin, let's briefly recap on what this Full moon is and why it is being discussed. It is a Full Moon, a supermoon, in Taurus, where it is Conjuncting Uranus. It's WEIRD. There is not really a foolproof way to detect how this energy will manifest, but we can make some predictions based on where it's transiting and what the tarot tells us.

I will be basically discussing the charts of Riize and SM Ent in this read.

How will Riize be affected by this Full Moon?

7 of Wands + Two of Wands

Before we get into it, let's note that this full moon will be transiting through Riize's 2nd house of possessions (physical, mental, monetary, etc) and in conjuct with their Natal Jupiter What does this mean? This transit usually signifies the start of something and usually something regarding optimism and good fortune. Because Jupiter also talks about legal matters and because we are transiting through the 2nd house, this could be especially regarding money, contracts, or just their demands/requests in general.

Although Uranus is a neutral planet, Jupiter is a benefic (generally good- it is the planet of luck and philosophy), and the Moon is a Luminary (light emitting like the Sun) so if I had to interperet whether the effects this transit would have would be good or bad I would lean towards specifically saying something unexpected will be "illuminated" or "brought into the light" regarding Riize's desires as a collective- and it will likely be benefiting Riize as a collective, especially because their natal Jupiter has a lot of good aspects attached to it (i lowkey think SM consulted an astrologer for their debut day and time bc the amount of natal conjuncts and trines (positive aspects) to Jupiter they have is ridiculous).

Now, with our tarot pulls here, we have 2 wands cards. Wands are classically "action" cards imo and it is significant for me when two of the same suit are pulled like this. The 7 card is extremely defensive and a force to be reckoned with. The 2 is still defensive but more so looking out beyond the horizon. It looks as though Riize will have to defend a decision of sorts even when faced with opposition and very proactively. if we are talking about what we discussed above in addition to this, I am going to presume that something significant will be brought to their attention which will spark a knee jerking and passionate reaction that can't be ignored. I have thought this for a while now but I worry there may be inner conflict between Riize and their management directly at a point, especially as Riize contemplates who they want to be seen as, as a group and what things have come to. They are very just and want to see things be set right.

How will the Full Moon affect SM?

Knight of Swords + The Hanged Man R

Starting off with the astrological influences again, this is also very interesting. SM has the Moon transiting through their 12 house, which deals with hidden things or secrets. They have a much more inactive 12th house with really just the South Node in there. Because of that vibe, it has the energy of "oh but I always do this" something like a habitual event. With this transit of the gull moon, it seems like the transit will give SM as a collective the opportunity to look at and make a different kind of decision straying from their usual one.

If we tie together the pulls here, the knight sympolizes swiftly putting ideas into action rather impulsively. With the Hanged Man Reversed, we are seeing something like "waking up" or a complete shift in which there is refusal to let things be as they have been. We can probably speculate that whatever happens here it will have to do with some kind of "light bulb moment" in which suddenly everything has alligned for the collective and they are forced to take action then and there- and it may be a very very unexpected move by them.

I looked into how these energies would be interacting

Page of Cups + 4 of Cups

This has to do with the Cups suit, which amplified matters of intuition and initial feelings. The page here is a messenger of good news and the 4 of cups represents the need to be openminded. If we look, we can interpret this as the Page offering a cup and the 4 not being ready to accept it until they change their perspective. And if we go back to what SM and Riize are doing, we could say here that SM may be forced into altering their perspective by Riize's actions. Whether it be standing thier ground or efffecrively communicating where their loyalties lie. I think these are directly connected.

What will be the outcome of this interaction?

Queen of Wands + Queen of Swords + Ace of Wands + 6 of Swords

Notice again how we have two suits here, both Wands and Swords. To me, it represents an emphasis on actions and plans/strategies. Even though these are queens, the suits are masculine. We are talking about the emergy of some powerful people guiding things along a new path and starting anew from the current situation. I think that is the INTENTION of whatever outcome/resolution there is. I do not know that it will be a fast one, but I think there will be an allignment of interests after a conflict so that both Riize and SM come to an understanding they both are accepting to. Neither will be willing to back down at that point, so they will have to start anew and see each other as equals to a certain degree or more conflict will ensue.

Final Notes:

Mmm, I do not have much to say here. I want to take this moment though to remind everyone that this energy is already finnicky, especially when dealing with Uranus, and so is tarot. Not everything will manifest as I say no matter what. Again, these practices are predictions and here to show A path, not THE path. Take everything with a grain of salt! 🧡🧡

Reminder: If you find anything confusing or want some clarification on the astrology terms- PLEASE comment or ask, and I will explain further. I tried my best to explain, but it can get VERY confusing VERY fast. So I tried doing it simply, but still- it can be mind-numbing.

[impactrueno]

I saw your twt about holding back on telling stories with serious and deep tones and it reminded me of an issue I had a while back. Im a south park fan and I loved reading deep analysis of the characters. and south park being south park, people dont take it seriously and think its just funny so it doesnt deserve deep analysis like other forms of media. I always came across comments saying "its not that deep" or "doing all of that for south park" and I used to hate that so much because why are you commenting that under the authors post? In media there is like a "spectrum" of how deep you are in it as a fan, and it doesn't make you less of a fan if you like to binge watch the show when you feel like it because its funny. Someone who makes fan fiction and psychoanalyses the characters doesnt make them a better fan than you. I hate "it's not deep" because it is that deep to me, I enjoy it, but it dismisses critical thinking and discourages deep discussions about our interests. I want to learn more about the turning point for eric cartman and the friendship dynamics between the main 4. I want to read psychoanalysis of the characters and understand why they do the things they do. I loved reading fan fics with an author that understood how the characters work and put them in situations while making it believable. Whether the content was deep and serious or lighthearted and silly. I don't see those as cringe at all. What I see as cringe is trying to downplay someones time and effort. you dont care for it. cool, just dont make it our problem.

I believe in recent years, this cringe and its not that deep mentality is linked to media literacy/reading comprehension issues. On top of the fact, that fandoms right now has been "normalized", so alot of mean and rude kids and adults are in this space not having a mature and respectful conversation and discussions, as well as zero fandom etiquette. (I understand the past wasnt this magical respectful place but this behaviour has increased compared to past years).

Please don't worry about making deep content, its super fun and there will be fans of what you write/draw that will definitely be into it.

GOSH anon you are absolutely right. cringe culture has done some serious damage to people's creativity and freedom of expression. doing things in earnest is now cringe to so many people (specifically that 18-21 age where they think they're better than everyone else and everything is cringe to them, image is everything) and they actually give you shit for it?? it's crazy. the most harmless thing in the world. whenever my hey arnold comics would leave my target audience on instagram i would get the meanest comments for no fucking reason, because i was taking hey arnold "seriously" (nevermind that hey arnold is probably the nicktoon with the most emotional depth and moments besides ginger but i digress) but hey at least i'm not the one losing my marbles over some random cartoon comic on the internet.

i think rudeness in general has been too normalized not just in fandom, but in social media in general. it's sad. the only thing you can do about it is be kind as much as you can to counterbalance it. i'd like to think that rubs off on people just like how being rude rubbed off on them.

i said that thing about holding back because i'm admittedly too hard on myself sometimes. no one is calling me cringe or making fun of me for what i do, thankfully, people have been super cool and supportive. and it means a lot to me because i'm very earnest about everything i create, even when i try to hold back. i literally cannot help being myself. it's all i know how to do. i'm just glad i was able to grow a platform where i'm free to be openly passionate about the things i like, talk about them and why i like them, the little things that i find fascinating, the emotions they make me feel, all of that shit is awesome and i wish more people did that.

[xoluvx]

everyone here is acting like they’ve never seen a blurry thigh pic and they talk like children as well as you 😭 you don’t owe anyone anything but why not put your age if you’re not a child? i’m done with people acting like their age is something to be secretive about when they’re posting content like this like grow up! yall get so butt hurt over the truth like how am i not supposed to think you’re a child

it’s the fact that you sat down and wrote this entire thing for me to just tell you to fuck off 🤭 like what exactly do you want me to do with this information? “i don’t owe you anything” .. it really is that simple babe, but maybe i should use my big girl brain and give you a proper response since you’re so desperate for it.

why are we upset that i’m not sharing my age? as far as i know, the only way i could “prove” i’m an adult is by posting my ID. let’s be so fucking for real right now. if you were so concerned about me being a minor posting inappropriate things, you wouldn’t have come at me crazy. think about it.. why would you talk to a minor with that type of entitlement? let me reiterate.. nobody owes you anything. seems like you got “butt hurt” by my response and are spiraling. furthermore, i can pick out a handful of blogs - if not more - that do not disclose their age and are doing crazier shit than i am. but hey, did i mention this is my blog and i can do whatever i want? yeah. there’s that.

you say were scrolling through my page “wondering if my age was anywhere”.. that’s a very peculiar reason to scroll through someone’s blog, don't you think? are you sure you weren’t fangirling at first? i digress.

what exactly did i do “for a reason”? answer your ask with attitude? um yeah.. i absolutely did babe. i may be sweet, but i'm not a pushover and i will defend myself if i need to. come on, we gotta start using our brains!! it seems the only one “butt hurt” here is you. again, i’m so sorry that people seem to agree with me or at the very least, like me enough to engage with my content.

grateful for the scroll? baby, please don’t flatter yourself. i am grateful for my 6k followers though 😘

bonus: this is me actually being petty and going there.. *you’re probably not someone to talk about age and/or how someone speaks when you can’t tell the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’. anyway ..

if you’re still not convinced, just keep reading love.

omg look a legal adult drinking and showing skin!!! blasphemy.

i’m not a child.. so yeah thanks for the (fake) concern. you may kindly fuck off now 💖

[whitewolfstracks]

My take on packs (this is probably just as long as the original post, so be warned):

I will start by saying that the beginning of what you wrote was funnily similar to my experience. When I awakened, I automatically assumed I'm a wolf. The feelings of being wild, untamed, and wanting to be free were definitely there. I felt disconnected from humans, wary of them, and uncomfortable in human environments.

It wasn’t before I met an actual wolfdog when something started nagging inside. She was still pretty much wolf, even as low content. Fixated on her human, skittish, couldn't be let off the leash because she'd just run away. I wrote it off as poorly socialised, but it was the first time I saw 'a wolf' in the human environment, and I very much empathised with that.

Then, years and years later, I met another wolf therian. And though we were very much similar in some things, we were very different in others. It took me many years to realise, but she was just more feral. I'm not comfortable with humans, but I learned to live with them, even sometimes enjoy their attention.

I have a dog-like temperament in part. For years, I was the stereotype of dog motif, I loved like a dog loves. But when I started to wake up to who I am after years of repressing my therianthropy, I became wilder again. I am a wolf. More wolf than a dog. I just tried to file off my claws, blunt my fangs. Be domestic. I'm not a good dog, though.

I see myself more like a stray dog, exactly like you describe. Living on the outskirts, surviving off scraps. It was only recently that I realised I'm probably a high-content wolfdog. I see myself as a wolf, but given the opportunity, I would get close to humans. A scavenger. An opportunist. Especially because I didn't have a pack for years. I needed to learn to survive on my own.

The fun thing is that when I was little, I used to play I was a wolfdog. Sure, it was dogs at first, but when I learned about wolves, I started getting more wolfish. At first, it was low-content wolfdog, but ended up being a high-content wolfdog. Never a wolf. Only after I met my pack.

What I experienced with my pack cannot be compared to anything else. I've never felt this kind of connection before, and I never felt it again since. We could genuinely read each others minds. We were so attuned to one another that it was scary.

Because we were teenagers at that time and didn't know how to regulate our emotions, it became overwhelming. It became toxic. But I never stopped searching for the depth of this connection, and yes, that's probably why I was unsuccessful in my relationships.

It was with them that I fully embraced my wolfishness. I wasn't ashamed to be myself, to express myself, because they were the same. We cuddled platonically, we howled together, we sparred playfully... We were from different parts of my country, so when we met, it was usually for a few days, having a sleepover, cooking together, watching wolf movies, going to nature...

We didn't have an alpha at the beginning. We were a family. We called each other 'brother' and 'sister'. The way wolf packs should be, in my opinion. But then the alpha theory reached us, and we thought we should have an alpha, so we chose one.

I was the alpha of our pack because I basically put us together. But I was 16 and wasn't ready for the responsibility, so I stepped down. We voted for the next alpha, and it was a mistake. I won't get too deep into it, but it was basically the beginning of the end.

Fun fact: David Mech is actually from my country xD The point is he observed wolves in captivity. Those wolves weren't related, so they needed to establish a hierarchy. And that relates to my opinion on therian packs.

Yes, I long for a family-like pack. But when you pick up a bunch of strangers on the internet and put them in one discord server, that doesn't make them a family. So, some kind of structure is needed.

I like that the online pack that I'm in currently has an Alpha (as an admin) and a Beta (as a mod). I don't think it would work without them. But I also agree that packs that push the hierarchy are usually toxic and abuse the power. I've joined a couple of packs like that, and needless to say, I left pretty quickly.

I spent about ten years without a pack, and I basically wasn't living at the time. I suppressed the Wolf, I was looking for the feeling of a pack in all the wrong places, which got me with the wrong crowds too many times to count. Left me traumatised and even more wary of humans than before.

After I started therapy and started coming back to myself, started accepting who I was, I reawakened as a therian again. And with it came the longing for the pack. It was there the whole time, I just didn't realise it is a wolf pack I long for. Not a friend group, not a romantic relationship, specifically a wolf pack.

The loneliness without a pack is unbearable. An online pack makes it more bearable, but it doesn't really substitute the feeling of actually interacting irl and I miss that. Even though I'm super grateful for my pack, without it, this would be a thousand times worse.

I think/hope what we're trying to do with this pack is to be like a family, create close bonds, be friends, even though we're essentially stragers. All the while having a necessary structure that makes it a safe space. We vote on things, so every voice matters. But the admins have the last word, because somebody needs to take the responsibility, I don't think it would work without it. Idk if it will work out in the long run, but I hope it will. So, that's just a recent personal experience.

Outside this pack, I do show pack behaviour towards my family, friends, even our cats. Every time I'm outside with a group of friends, I feel very protective of them, try to keep an eye on everyone, make sure everyone is included. It actually got us in trouble before :D I was too aggressive in my protectivness, and in an attempt to protect 'my pack', the situation escalated unnecessarily.

I also create close bonds to 'my humans'. For me, when we're friends, it's like a family. It's forever. So, it breaks my heart every time a friend moves on or we grow apart. I just can't comprehend that. And I have a very close relationship with my cat. She's the only creature I can share pack intimacy with. We sleep cuddled together, show each other love. Her behaviour is closer to mine than dogs.

To close this, I will give my account of an ideal pack. And I just want to say, I don't want to offend anyone, this is just my own dream version:

My ideal pack would be irl. Just wolves (or wolfdogs). Small one. Definitely under ten members, but probably more than four. If there was a hierarchy, it would be a natural one. Like, someone is more of a leader type, so they would make decisions. Someone's more empathetic, so they'd have the 'Beta role'. Everybody's good at something, so everybody has something to offer to the pack. It was like that with my first irl pack, and it worked before we tried to put man-made hierarchies on it.

When our pack members found partners, they didn't want to be parted from them, so we started meeting as a pack together with their mates. And while I understand that they felt close bonds to them as wolves, considered them their mates, I didn't consider them a pack, as they weren't therians. I just accepted them as an extension of our pack members.

So, for me, pack is something sacred just between the members of the pack (who are in my ideal case, wolf therians). It goes beyond romantic relationships. It's something different. It's simply a family. And you don't abandon family. That's why it broke my heart when my old pack chose their mates over the pack. They grew out of it. I couldn't. And I stand by what I believed then.

I thought I needed to grow out of it too. That there was something wrong with me when I felt such a strong connection to them. But looking back, I don't think there was. I just was a therian, and they weren't. So, I still think it's possible. Maybe I'm chasing a fool's dream. But what we had was real. We found each other as though by fate, completely by accident. And being an adult now, I think we would be able to keep the boundaries and the balance.

I don't really think a pack can work just because the members are all wolf therians. You need to click. You choose your pack. You see them, and you're like 'yes, you're my brother now, I would protect you with my life'. That's what it feels like for me. So, that's why it's so hard to find. But I do believe it's possible.

Maybe the one time I had my pack was it. And I won't ever be able to move on from that. So, I learned to just enjoy what I have. But I still have hope...

(Also, I want to add a small note: I understand that not everyone has a good relationship with their family, me neither btw, so when I mention 'You don't abandon family.', I mean in ideal case, a chosen family in this case.)

Dear Wolf Therians...

(Aka, a domestic dog rambles about packs)

Content warnings: none

Word count: 2k

— Day 3 of Sol's Writing Challange

I want to start off this post by saying that I'm pretty confident I'm not a wolf therian. During my awakening, I automatically assumed a potential wolf theriotype (which seems to not be an uncommon experience) I actually tried to think and picture myself as a wolf, just to try out the identity but there was something that didn't feel right and it was sort of difficult to understand why. Maybe it was the large size of a wolf not matching with how I felt my canineness should look like, or maybe it was more of a personality/mental thing.

Either way, I kept trying to work it out in my brain and read the works and experiences of wolf therians. When wolf therians spoke about being a wolf, there was a lot of mention of feeling wild and untamed with an instinctual yearning to be free. They spoke commonly about how disconnected they felt from humans and that they were actually pretty wary of them and felt uncomfortable in humam focused environments, and that's when it clicked and why I was not a full wolf because I felt pretty comfortable with humans and I didn't feel this inner call for the wilds. I was actually pretty chill hanging out and around man-made settlements and cities (which were a wolf therians' worst nightmare, according to a few essays). Basically, I felt pretty domestic.

So then I just assumed I might have been a wolfdog. I went from thinking I could have been a high content wolfdog to a mid content to a low content, but even then, that didn't feel right. I read an article that discussed the differences in wolves and stray dogs that actually really illuminated my perspective on canines as a whole. Wolves were monogamous, primarily carnivorous, and apex predators and functioned under a family hierarchy. The stray dogs in the article were scavengers, eating what they could find on the outskirts of human settlements and didn't have to abide by strict seasons to have pups nor did they feel the need to form packs unless they thought it was necessary. All in all, dogs had a lot more variety in expression and were more loose on the "rules" of being a canine compared to wolves.

Eventually I just realized and came to terms that I was just a domestic German Shepherd (and a proud one at that!) with an emotional and aesthetic attachment to wolves that had no impact on my identity and how I identified no matter how cool I thought wolves and wolf therians were.

So, yeah, I'm pretty confident that I'm not a wolf therian.

But I loved reading about the experiences of wolf therians and what being a wolf meant to them and how they expressed that but I was mostly invested in how their wolfness interacted within themselves and other aspects of themselves. What was the culture of wolf therians? How did they describe wolfhood? What facets of themselves did they relate with other wolf therians?

The writings of wolf therians helped me create a foundation of how I understood caninehood so I could build up my own understanding using their experiences as a framework.

But one of the things I really was interested in is how a wolf therian felt about packs.

A wolf therian I follow (@words-of-wolf) wrote a piece about their experience with wolfhood (and how they felt it was different to the way other wolf therians talked about their wolfness), and it actually inspired this whole tangent about packs in general. One of my favorite quotes from the post was:

"But I will say that all of my deepest, most vivid, and most impactful memories... they're not of the hunt. They're not about territory or conflict or hunger. What I remember most richly is the love I felt for my pack. It's a feeling I can't quite find it in me to explain; sometimes I wonder if the reason I identify as loveless in this life, is simply because no love I've ever felt as a human could compare to what I felt as a wolf."

The feeling I got reading this was profund and sobering. I didn't relate to it on a deep level, but I was enamored by how they described what being in a pack really felt like and how the pack is what defined their wolfness and not so much being perceived or perceiving specific behaviors as violent.

I watched a documentary about a therian pack just recently actually and it carried a similar level of awe within me when I watched how close these therians were with others. They cuddled and played together, exhibited both dominant and submissive behaviors in a playful manner and had sleepovers and bonded with each other over a bonfire and it was nice to watch the way they loved being a pack together.

Wolves in the wild need packs. It's something that is so important to their survival and evolution and identity as a whole. They are social animals. The bond between wolves in a wolf pack is so solid and intertwinied with being a wolf that its pretty much what defines a wolf in pop media (for the most part) The wolf pack structure and culture also has been studied intensely for years. It's been observed and analyzed, hypothesized, and debunked.

What was thought to be the truth of how a wolf pack worked was actually revealed to be an inaccurate representation by the same man who created the now debunked alpha/beta/omega theory since the old study was done on captive wolves. Said man, named David Mech, corrected himself and said that wolf packs in the wild functioned very much as family units, with the father and mother at the head of the pack and then their first litter as their subordinates and their latest litter as the bottom of the pack. Makes sense. That's how families work mostly in human society.

But then what does this study say about wolf therians (and therians in general) and the way they feel about packs?

When reading about their experiences, some share this sentiment of feeling utterly alone. This loneliness was, for the most part, super intense, almost depressing sometimes when I read certain posts. Especially when the wolf therians I was reading about didn't seem to know any other therian in general, let alone a wolf one plus they had an almost instinctual aversion to humans. It was something I sympathized with. These were essays that read like lonely howls calling for non-existent pack mates in my head.

But those were specifically wolf therians who didn't have a pack, I did also read posts and essays of wolf therians who were and have been in packs (in their current lives) before, relaying their experiences that ranged from enjoyment and curiosity to horror and abuse mostly, from what I've read, due to these packs adopting the alpha/beta/omega model and trying to mimic this with other therians. Now there has been tons of discussion on how the alpha/omega model in packs leads often to power abuse and there has been valid criticism against the use of it in therian packs but there's also been equal amounts of therians who actually like the alpha system implemented in their own packs due to the euphoria it gives them as a wolf.

Keep in mind, the study that first introduced the alpha theory about wolf packs, while inaccurate to wolves in the wild, was still something captive wolves (essentially strangers) exhibited and I think that's important to note. I remember reading (or maybe watched a video) that mentioned how human society naturally has a hierarchical structure bringing up examples like work environments (bosses, managers, employers) and even schools (teachers, principals, students) and so packs that use the alpha model weren't necessarily a bad thing and actually made sense under these contexts.

I think the problem was because some of these therian packs were created haphazardly and were open to therians who were mostly strangers to each other and the alpha model didn't really give the neccesery room for these packs to bond with each other that much, something that had also been pointed out by other therians. Their solution was to be more picky on who you make a pack with. They said that packs should ideally be created with close friends and loved ones or even family.

It was interesting to read the different pack experiences, especially from a domestic dog point of view. Just as a canine, I also do sympathize with pack culture in general and while some domestic dogs don't really have a connection to the pack concept as much as wolves (save for specific breeds like the husky), I still think a lot about packs and how I'd function in one when I realized that I have been apart of packs, that I am currently in two packs; one with my boyfriend and one with my blood family.

And I do actually see them as my packmates, especially my boyfriend. I feel a loyalty to him and my family, I feel the need to defend them, protect them, and support them, not from a human perspective but entirely as a canine. My family pack can be dysfunctional sometimes, but my dogged loyalty means I'll always be there to support them despite the dominance problems. And it's funny to think about how I was "technically" born into a family unit and then when I grew older, I dispersed and found a mate to make my own pack with just like wolves do in the wild.

Therian packs, I feel like, have been a staple in the therian community probably since the first howl (not fact checked) due to how much the community traditionally has had such a heavy canine/wolf lean and focus (which is something modern therianthropy is improving on by being more inclusive to a variety of species) but I wish there were more resources that talk about packs and pack safety and what others thought of them, what their dream pack is and if they would abide by a heirachy or if they'd go off vibes or if they wanted a big pack that was friendly or something smaller thats a little more exclusive. What type of beings would they want in the pack? What type of behaviors would they exhibit in a pack? What name would your pack have? Would you consider your family or friends as a pack even if they're not therians themselves?

I wish even more for resources and essays about packs that aren't just canine centered like herds and flocks. How would therians run one? Would they be a leader or something more passive?

I know that this sort of veers on the edges of roleplay just a little but it geniuenly is a fun mental exercise for me. I like thinking about these questions because it does make me feel like a canine.

For me, I'm already pretty much living with my ideal pack with my boyfriend, even if it's just the two of us (plus our cats), which is what I prefer. I like how small and exclusive it is, and there's not really problems with dominance, considering we feel both pretty equal in terms of power in our pack. There's no name yet. It's just pure vibes right now, but that's okay, i feel loved and protected in this pack, and I love and protect my pack back. I have so much time to consider what a pack means to me as a dog.

And while I may not feel this deep connection to pack culture the way a wolf therian would, I still hold a similar essence of loyalty and love towards those who I cherish as a canine.

My fascination with pack society and culture is probably something I got from my German Shepherd theriotype. The concept of loyalty, protection, love, and family definitely appeals to it. Regardless, I just love reading and learning about it from academic studies to introspective essays, really, just all kinds of records that talk about packs. It truly feels like I'm searching for a meaning here and even writing this entire post barely scrapes the surface of what I truly want to say about packs, mostly due to me getting tired and my lack of vocabulary and ability to explain things better.

Just think packs are cool and see wolf therians as cool older siblings.

Kind regards,

Sol, a German Shepherd.

@/words-of-wolfs post about wolfhood

The study of the differences between wolves and dogs

[spookie-puppy]

This has taken too long, so I give up. Im just gonna post this now with all this here. Ill probably not do more, but if I do, theyll be here.

ALSO THESES ARE NOT PERMANENT I MIGHT CHAGE THEM!!!!!

HEAD CANNONS FOR (drawing vrs (not personality just looks)) THEM BECAUSE YES

ZEUS - His hair is really fully and curly to represent the clouds, but when he's angry is straightens like the rain pour. His eyes fade from a lighter blue to a dark blue for the day fading to night. The line steaming from his eyes is both the rain and the lightning and can change color based on his mood just like his hair. (blue to yellow) He wears the laurel wreath to show his accomplishment of become king over Olympus. His cuffs both have lightning bolts on them for his thunder power.

I made him look like a young adult, just to show that he is the youngest of them all and I feel like he would look like this just to indirectly tell people that yes, a kid beat their dad.

POSEIDON - His skin is see through and his hair is black like his brothers. His hair is curlier at the top and gets straighter and darker as it goes down because I wanted something that like the waves to the floor. I wanted to try and show his bones through his skin like a deep water fish. I also didn't want to take long designing, so I made his bottom half a water fall like thing.

He looks stronger than most because I wanted a way to show how strong the water can be.

HADES - I gave him a pomegranate flower wreath for his headdress because of Persephone. I wanted to make it something she gave him to remember her in the summer months. I gave him black hair like the other two, so the big three all look like close related brothers. His hair is messy and off because he probably wanted to try and let his wife try to cut it. His belt has a small symbol on it of a skull with a flower crown. I wanted the belt to match cerberus' collar.

He looks smaller and paler than the rest because he is the ruler of the dead. I wanted him to look like he was meant to be there among the dead.

Athena- I kept the red hair that most people give her, but I gave her a blue outfit instead of a red. It still has red accents, but I wanted to go for an after the Wisdom Saga look. That's also why I decided to Give her scars along her body. I also gave her an owl like smile.

Hermes- I decided to give him more of a modern look for some reason. I tried to make him look extravagant with the shirt. I kept the curls, gave him a mischievous smile, and gave him more gold. His gold rings on his arms are for decoration, but I really wanted to give him the golden wings. I didn't want them on his shoes like they normally are, so I put them on his head instead. He also has a cape and hood for colder environments that he has to travel through.

drawings after the cut.

[lordsammichsilas]

I saw a recent post someone made speculating on birth years for each of the FO4 companions. They had estimated Danse being born (created?) in 2261 and part of that reasoning was 1) he had been paladin by 2277 and 2) Maxson said it took Danse “many” years to become paladin.

I wanted to expand on it without dumping a huge wall of text onto their post. If you want to know which post, here's the link. And this isn't me disagreeing with any of it. It was just something that got me thinking and I wanted to expand on it.

I've been kind of stuck on Danse's character for a bit because of the fic I'm writing. I didn't actually realize Maxson had said it took Danse many years to become Paladin (I looked it up and it's when you first join the BoS and you're given the rank of Knight. If you ask why not Paladin, that's when you get that info).

So anyway it made me wonder what “many” years would be in the context of a military career. The Brotherhood of Steel was born from the US military, so I looked into the ranks of the US Army to get an idea. Danse is a senior officer with the BoS and a field commander. From what I can tell, the most senior field commander in the Army is the rank of Major. Just doing a quick Google search, it takes about 11 years to make that rank. Added to at least 10 years as Paladin, I'm estimating Danse has been in the BoS for about 21 years by the beginning of FO4.

If someone joins the Army at 18, they'd be about 39 by the time they reach Major. Since Danse is a synth and was created as an adult humanoid male, that doesn't mean much in terms of his actual chronological age. It does for his perceived age, though.

The BoS keeps really extensive records on its members. They even keep their DNA on file. When you walk through the Prydwen, you get a very paranoid vibe and the children on the ship are encouraged to spy on all staff aboard the Prydwen. And yet, no one suspected Danse was a synth.

Synths don't age. At SOME point, even if they never got the files from the Institute saying Danse was a missing synth, someone would have had to start questioning why Danse still looks the same after all of those years in the BoS. That hadn't happened, yet. Also the stress of battle and the scars on his face probably do give the illusion of “aging” to an extent. Danse also isn't close to anyone in the BoS and doesn't talk about himself. His background is as an anonymous orphan in the Capital Wasteland. All of this gives plenty of wiggle room on his perceived age to others. I'm guessing anyone in the BoS would probably just assume he's in his mid-late 30's. Maybe early 40's.

And up to that point, the timeline would match. His time spent in the BoS would point to him being that age. He looks like he's about that age. He's a senior officer. It's fine. Give it about 10 years, though, and people would have started asking questions. Danse was on borrowed time and he had no idea.

And then there's time spent in Rivet City. He and Cutler were quite close, enough that they joined up together. My guess is that they were probably seen as two young men at around the same age (I'll just say late teens, early 20's) when they joined up. Since we know Danse is an adult who doesn't age, I'm going to lean hard on the battle scars theory for simulating aging and also say he was probably clean shaven in the beginning which also made him look younger.

Even then, I am guessing he spent enough time with Cutler for them to become close without raising any suspicions on his age. I'm going to give about 2 years in Rivet City. I figure that's plenty of time for two young men to become friends enough that they run off and join the military together. Without the appearance of his age raising any red flags.

That puts the timeline up to 23 years.

Prior to that, it gets really fuzzy. We know nothing of his time in the Institute. We can make some educated guesses, but all we know for sure is that he was a missing synth named M7-97. Danse himself doesn't know anything about it. I can't really give any guess on how long he was there without going ENTIRELY into headcanon territory.

Him being born in the year 2261 is totally plausible. That would make him chronologically 26 years old.

His perceived age, though, I thought was interesting to think about because you have to see how his appearance and the direction his life took was almost out of luck that no one found him out sooner. I think he was in a far more precarious position than even he realized and even without the BoS discovering he was a synth from the Institute, he was getting close to a point in time where his age would have come into question even more and people would have started getting suspicious anyway.

[snexy-the-snail]

Oops I made it sad

Oops I made it sad

"I'm going to stop wearing these pjs I swear to the gods." Percy grumbles under his breath. Sure it was noon, the middle of the day and he probably should've put day clothes on but pjs were comfy. Besides he wasn't instructing the younger campers through learning how to use a sword so might as well have fun.

That however came at the cost of a god showing up. "What? What's wrong with the sharks, I think they're fun." Apollo asks with a grin. He and Hermes both had the same mischievous grin, he wondered where they got it from. Zeus? The idea seemed laughable.

"The problem is that you're here." He says crossing his arms. He wasn't even sure what Apollo wanted yet but he knew it was something. "Awe, no love for me? I heard from Hermes you were much nicer to him."

Percy narrows his eyes at that, unease building up. "Why are you here?" He asks firmly, tensing up. He really didn't have a good feeling about this. Like at all.

"Oh you know, concern for my little cuz. Heard you're not sleeping well, and I've got a sweet little trick that can help." Apollo grins taking a step forward, amusement glinting in his eyes.

Oh. Hades. No.

"Apollo I swear- don't even think about it." Percy hisses out. He felt a tad cornered even if nothing but the forest was behind him. What was it with random God's deciding he'd make a perfect snack.

With each step back, the taller Apollo got which only furthered his suspicions of what was going to happen. He was not below stabbing a god. "Oh come on, you need rest, I'm a bit curious how a sea kid tastes. It's a win win."

"Sides you let Hermes do it."

Percy scoffs, his body screaming at him to run. He very much didn't like this, his nerves alight with the need to get away. He wasn't trapped, he was fine. He could run off at any time.

"I know Hermes a little better than you." He points out. The who Luke situation made it hard not to know Hermes. Who knew Apollo might care about him too but Percy was getting tired of being shoved into unfamiliar territory.

"Perfect opportunity then don't you think?" Apollo practically purrs, his eyes shining with amusement. His heart started to pound in his chest, the air in his lungs wasn't enough suddenly. "Inside is so cool, just let me eat you post hast, I won't even drool."

"Ugh seriously, don't make this into a haiku." Percy groans. It was bad enough Annabeth had showed him the orientation film with Apollos little solo. He tenses when he Apollo reaches out for him his mind going blank. The god was saying something but the blood rushing in his ears made it impossible to process it.

All he knew was he wasn't letting this happen. He didn't want it to happen. The next thing he knew Apollo yowled in pain and a weird sickly sweet taste flooded into his mouth. He just bit down harder, clenching his jaw as tight as possible.

Everything was blank after that.

He kept his teeth sunk into whatever he had bitten.

Poseidon was not expecting a call from Apollo. It was unsure and skittish when only made him more confused as to what the younger god needed. Until he appeared next to Apollo and saw his sons jaws firmly sunk into the sun gods arm, hands gripping tightly onto the flesh as well.

"So. I ah.. I have an explanation." Apollo says sheepishly, Poseidon crouching next to his son, slipping his hands over the boys, gently guiding them down to his sides. "I'd like to hear it."

Even to him his tone sounded a tad too sharp, but given that Percy had practically latched onto the God like a feral shark pup something had to have happened.

"Just know Hermes did it first!" The god blurts out, Poseidon frowning as he runs his hand through his sons hair, murmuring a reassurance. "You're safe Percy, there's no need for teeth."

"And I didn't realize he'd react like this- but ah right-" Apollo says with a wince when Poseidon gives him a look. "He needs a god to sleep without nightmares and we all know he's not sleeping enough. So forced nap time seemed like a good idea."

If any demigod saw the waters nearly exploded into massive waves they sure as shit didn't stick around to figure out why Poseidon was upset.

"Like I said! I didn't realize he'd react this way."

Deep breaths. He couldn't help his son if he was angry. Poseidon let a breath out, trying to coax Percy to let go. Not answering for a moment. He didn't trust himself to answer.

Finally the boy's stubborn grip loosened and he managed to pull the demigod back into his arms. He tucks his son against his chest just holding him close. "It is not your place. It is not Hermes place either, to care for my son. That falls to me."

Percy leans into his touch, a small shiver running through the boy before he felt hands gripping his shirt with just as tight as a grip as he had on Apollo. "Dad?" Came a whispered reply, sounding slightly hoarse as if the boy just had come to his senses..which he probably had.

"I understand. It won't happened again just.. look out for him. A little closer maybe? No mortal is meant to..survive down there" Apollo murmurs looking away. He had the decency to look ashamed, which good. Poseidon wasn't exactly keen on sharing his son.

"It falls to me." He repeats before focusing his attention on his boy. He sighs, looking down at the dazed face of his son. "You're alright, I'm here." He soothes, wiping the golden inchor dribbling down the boys chin. "I've got you."

[halfway-house-in-hell]

husk redesign

(sinner + human form)

rambling below the cut! (gonna be shorter this time srry)

- first of all hes irish now bc i do what i want. he lived in dublin

-died in 1978 at 67 yrs old, lived through the troubles

- was married

-took up a job as a really shitty magician (hes good at tricks its just that he has the charisma of a mouldy loaf of bread you left alone for a week before dealing with it)

-used his card skills to cheat at poker and spent most of that money on beer

- died of a heart attack

-made an indecent living as a minor overlord by cheating at Soul Poker™ (poker but you gamble your soul)

-eventually people found out he cheated and they got Angry so he turned to alastor, who promised that these people would forget all about his lies if he gave alastor his soul

-on a very tight leash, he rarely gets time away from alastor and has to deal with him breathing down his neck at all times

-technically his henchman

-bonds with nifty over working at the hotel and having to deal with alastor and they gain a kinda father-daughter relationship

-he encourages her sci-fi writing

-supposed to only supply non-alcoholic drinks at his bar but sneaks in real ones anyway

-chronic bet-placer, usually with nifty

-dog sinner bc. he is loyal to a fault (to alastor) even though he doesnt want to be

-thats all i got srry. thx for reading ✌️

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

ghost horses

GHORSES