#probably no one else thinks this ks funny

[lovesbatfacts]

today is the day of my motherland: Chile, so I offer these Chilean silver I did like. two years ago HAPPY FIRST GOVERNING BOARD TO ALL MY FELLOW CHILEAN

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Touch it for Real, Part 4

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Eventual Smut

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers

A/N: The song featured in the kitchen scene is Fantasy by Mariah Carey.

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

You were puzzling. Alone in your bedroom, laying within the comfort of your own bed, you were positively puzzling.

After sorting out just who Ben was and fixing the damage Baekhyun had done to your reputation by explaining that your idiot roommate had just gotten a hold of your phone, you reintroduced yourself and apologized for the confusion.

This ‘Ben’ actually seemed to laugh off the odd behavior he’d gotten as a first impression of you, mentioning that your roommate seemed funny, if not weirdly protective of you.

You could see what he meant when you read through the rapid fire questions Baekhyun had asked him from his age, to his preferred operating system, whether or not Ben had Facebook so “you” and him could be friends, his profession, and his parents line of work, his current place of work, how long he’s worked there and whether or not he moves around a lot, his hometown, his hobbies and even whether or not Ben has now or has ever had any pets; it seemed that Baekhyun had actually done a whole lot of legwork to give you a pretty good idea of what Ben might be like.

But the moment Baekhyun’s conversation topic changed to innocently ask Ben for his astrological sign, something struck you as off to see Baekhyun proclaim you to also be the same sign and after the two compared birthdays you began to find the whole exchange quite odd.

You realized that Baekhyun had simply lied about your birthday. Baekhyun knew your birthday. Why had he given a fake date to Ben? Unless there was something else happening that you didn’t understand. Then again, Baekhyun had always been rather stingy about giving out personal information; both yours and his. He was probably just being cautious about revealing too much to a stranger.

And actually, Ben seemed rather …. nice. You always hesitated to give them this adjective right off the bat as most of the guys you met who seemed nice right away turned out to be very good at faking nice and stringing along at least three or four girls at once for the shot at fucking at least one of them, and the hopes of fucking all of them.

You’d been called the wrong name late at night, whispered through a sleepy voice over the phone. You’d been sweet-talked and then abruptly called a bitch for refusing to send nudes to a guy you’d been talking to for only a week. Apparently a week was his limit and all his other girls gave him what he wanted within a couple of days. You’d been ghosted by nice guys who felt victimized and led on when you said goodnight politely with a smile and a wave instead of inviting them inside for ramen.

You did want a nice guy. But you wanted a real one.

What you wouldn’t give for one of them, for just one of them to be honest with you and really show you their true self.

Perhaps you had been going about it all wrong.

Your conversation with Ben quietly fizzled and you put your phone away to charge and now, now you were simply puzzling.

It panged at your heart to think of it, but the upset with Baekhyun hours earlier kept replaying in your mind. You propped your feet up on your wall and let your head hang off the edge of your bed, enjoying the way the gravity pulled at the blood in your brain and you tapped your fingers on the bed absentmindedly to the soft beat of music you heard playing from his room.

And you puzzled.

Don’t use your beauty as a weapon against me.

You hadn’t been this bothered by something since you’d watched that Mission Impossible movie the first time and spent an hour and a half trying to wrap your head around the complicated plot.

A Weapon.

Your beauty … a weapon … against me.

Why did it bother you so much? Why had he been so upset that you were playing with him, that you were messing with him. He messed with you all the time. You messed with him just as much. He never got this upset. No, he never got upset in this way. In such a way as to call you out on using something you had, against him. Something that you hadn’t even known had any power at all to attack the man. Your beauty. Did you have such a thing?

You thought about the other times you fought with him.

Not really fought, the two of you never did that, but that fake sort of fighting like when he’d woken you up at 2am for the third night in a row with his loud working music and you found him out in the kitchen disassembling your favorite toaster, the one with the wide slots for bagels that also toasts four slices of bread at once and even has special buttons for frozen items. The stainless steel one that you won in a work raffle and proudly marched through the office carrying with a huge smile on your face. It was a deluxe model. Supreme even. The master of it’s craft. Said so right on the box. Your toaster in a million pieces on your kitchen counter; all because he needed some components or resistors or whatever the fuck it was and he decided the best move was to take your toaster apart rather than to just order what he needed online and wait two business days for them to arrive.

Sure, he put it back together a few days later but not without enduring the laser eyes you shot him over breakfast when you had to toast a piece of bread in a frying pan on the stove like a loser who did not own a four slice Deluxe Toastmaster Supreme.

You’d planned your revenge then. It was something tiny and it involved his TV remote. His precious TV was enormous, took up almost the whole wall, OLED or SUPER-NANO or ULTRA-NANO some similar nonsense words and had 8-Ks of pixels or so he claimed and had so many smart functions you could hardly get comfortable using it for anything that didn’t involve the Netflix button. And no, no, you didn’t do anything to the actual TV. Relax, this was just the remote. This was harmless. Absolutely harmless. Easy to solve really if he had half a brain in his head.

You just carefully cut out the smallest tiniest piece of IR blocking tape that fit exactly over the infrared sensor on the remote control and fit so well it was undetectable to the human eye. Unless you knew it was there and knew exactly where to stick your fingernail in under the plastic bezel to peel it back. You simply applied the tape and left the remote right on the coffee table before you left for work.

You’d come home that night to a pile of assorted battery packs all strewn about the coffee table, and the remote completely taken apart down to the tiny circuit board and Baekhyun was quietly touching the tip of some tiny tool to the different spots on the scary looking green part from inside of the remote with all the metal bits stuck to it and when you slowly walked by he looked up at you through the magnifying eye glasses he wore. His eyes looked comically enormous and you swallowed away your laughter and considered how long you’d let him suffer.

“Something wrong with your remote, Peanut Butter?”

“It was working fine yesterday. I just don’t understand it.”

“Maybe it’s the batteries,” you offered innocently and he just ignored your helpful suggestion as he began screwing tiny screws into place with a precision screwdriver.

He was reassembling it all now and you sat down beside him on the sofa about as amused as you had ever been to sit and watch him suffer.

He grabbed two new batteries from an unopened pack on the table and aimed the remote, pressing the buttons again and again. Nothing happened.

He was surprisingly calm about the whole thing and judging by the various shopping bags and different brands of batteries you saw, he seemed to have been working on this all afternoon. Probably for hours now.

“I’m going to have to take the TV apart.”

He was already standing up and walking across the room toward the wall mounted monstrosity when you leaned forward for the remote. He glanced back at you as you did it and he looked at you just in time to see you shake the remote back and forth and then hit it twice lightly against your left hand. Just a little knock-knock should do it. You were careful to keep the expression on your face calm and well controlled.

When you pressed the power button, the big TV came to life and you pressed the button for Netflix and scrolled through your recommended titles. You had a new episode to watch. You’d have to make time tonight for that. After he was done with his little project here.

Baekhyun instantly pulled his hands away from the TV and hopped back and away from the screen, peering up at it with his mouth hanging wide open. His eyes shot back to where you sat on the sofa holding the remote control. You did not allow your smile to form. Nothing in your whole life had ever been so difficult. You felt as if you could pop right here. You casually flipped through the menu on the screen and the man looked back up at the TV and back down at you again.

You could see him coming in then. He was moving fast with several large steps toward you and with the quickest movement you could manage you used the tip of your finger to slide the IR tape back over the remote sensor. You could not be as precise as you had been before with him coming right at you so quickly, but hopefully it wouldn’t be visible.

He reached for the remote. “What did you do, how did you fix it?” He held it up and pointed it toward the TV. Again, the remote did not work. You bit down hard on the inside of your cheek.

He was pressing buttons again and nothing happened with each new button he smashed down. You could see the madness growing in his eyes the more he tried.

He made the smallest whining sound from the back of his throat and it took every ounce of self control to keep from laughing as he lightly tapped the remote twice against his hand just as he had seen you do. Nothing.

You tried to hold it. You tried so hard. A tiny sound escaped, the smallest sniffle with a laugh broke free from your throat and you coughed lightly to hide it.

His face turned on you and those crazed eyes were back only instead of directing them at the remote, he was looking at you now.

“How did you fix it? Do it again.” He looked insane and desperate and a tiny smile betrayed you as you grabbed the remote from his hand. You played the smile off as part of the help you were willing to offer him but you also had to inhale a deep breath and carefully and slowly exhale it through your mouth to keep from breaking completely.

You held it up in your right hand and gave it a little shake. As quickly as you had done it before you turned the remote on its side as you gave those two little knocks and his head flipped toward the TV when you aimed. With his eyes averted you were able to slip the tape off just before pressing the button.

The Netflix logo greeted you and Baekhyun threw his head back and let out a loud frustrated yell into the ceiling above him.

You’d been holding your laugh for too long. It was becoming too difficult now and he was back, reaching for the remote when the first suffocating giggles took your composure and you laughed out loud.

Your laughter brought all of his attention right to you and only you. The entirety of his focus shifted and that brought those crazed eyes of his bearing down on you, wide and demanding.

It was, by far, the most successful and meanest prank you had ever played on him to date and you were gasping for air and laughing as he reached for you. He grasped both of your shoulders and he shook you as you laughed and laughed at the absolute madness in his eyes. Oh he was crazy. It was just so damn funny.

The remote was still in your hands and you flipped through the different inputs on the TV as you cackled and tears formed at the corners of your eyes.

“How did you do it? You devil! Tell me how you did it?”

He balanced with his knees on the couch and his hands were on you, roaming over the fabric of the sweater you wore, lifting your arms to look under them, maybe for spare remotes or for hidden batteries or secret formulas, who knows what he thought he might find.

You’d stashed the tiny circle of tape by sticking it to the skin inside your elbow and he was currently examining the fingers on all of your hands up close as if they concealed all of the secrets he was looking for.

It wasn’t until he searched higher, pulling your hand forward toward his chest and his thumb grazed against the shiny plastic of the tape circle you had on your inner arm when he did a double take, pulled your arm harder and lifted an accusing finger to point at the tape.

“What is that?!” He clearly thought himself to be the world’s greatest detective.  

You allowed yourself to be manhandled by him a little bit more as you got every bit of humor about your recent victory out of your chest and you lifted your other hand, the one he did not have held hostage right now to wipe at the tears that had fallen from your eyes.  

“Stop laughing and answer me, woman! What is it?”

“It’s my birth control patch,” you said through a laugh and his eyes widened as he pulled his hand back. It was a tiny movement but you were so close to his accusing eyes that it felt monumental and the dramatic reaction to your teasing lie made a fresh wave of laughter bubble up in your chest. You knew he would react this way. Any mention of your contraceptives always made him clam up.

“It’s IR tape, Baekhyun. Infrared blocking tape. I put it on the sensor this morning after breakfast. After I made toast in a pan instead of in my toaster.”

The truth pulled his whole head back and he fell down on his butt on the sofa briefly before he slipped and fell right off the couch onto the floor and he sat there with a blank lifeless look on his face; staring ahead without any focus in his eyes.

“Do you know how sad pan toast is, Baekhyun? Tell me, how am I supposed to be satisfied with pan toast when I should have been having Deluxe Toastmaster Supreme toast?”

He was shaking his head back and forth as you spoke and when he did move it was to lay down flat on his back on the floor of the living room. His hands were up and he rubbed roughly over his face.

“Oh my god. Oh my god—it’s so good. I would have never checked for tape over the sensor. Fucking tape. A piece of goddamn tape. I was so focused on the batteries.I went to three different stores today. The circuits to the sensor were all intact, I checked it, it was good — I never even considered this. Are you an evil genius? My sweet innocent Bug ... is actually an evil supervillain.”

You left him on the floor and made your way into the kitchen to make dinner. It was your night to cook and thanks to the man stewing on the floor of the living room you had to do it around the scattered carcass of your third favorite kitchen appliance.

You remembered the way he reacted then. He pouted and moaned on the floor for a few moments until he smelled the stew you were cooking on the stove. It was comfort food. Something with meat and potatoes and warmth and spices. It would lift anyone’s mood and his had been lifted almost immediately. There were no apologies or any tears. Just a promise to put the toaster back together tomorrow after he went to the store for the parts he needed and that was the end of it.

He didn't storm away. He didn't raise his voice or say you were mean or unfair or too beautiful for him to withstand. He didn't get angry about closeness being used the wrong way, in a way that was unfair to him. In a way that could hurt him, like a weapon.

If he said you had the kind of beauty that could be used against him, didn't that mean he found you beautiful? Wouldn't that mean that Baekhyun found you attractive?

The words protested inside your mind. You shook your head.

That was impossible. Definitely. You’ve been so close to him for so long without even a hint of that sort of a feeling from him. Sure you were close to each other. Sure you cared for each other. It was a familiar sort of affection you shared. But attraction? Because he found you beautiful in a way that was unfair?

The puzzling was giving you a headache. There were some things that just did not exist in the same space in your mind and that was the existence of your roommate, Byun Baekhyun, and the possibility that he was attracted to you in any way.

You’d been inside your bedroom for hours now and you were no closer to answers than when you first came in here.

Baekhyun would be done with his episode. He would have watched it with Mia and discussed themes or scenes or dramatic moments with her. Did he talk to her on the phone or maybe though a headset as they streamed the episode together.

Did he like her voice and did she like his jokes?

Did he make her laugh? Of course he did. He made everyone laugh. Baekhyun was charming and hilarious. But could she make him laugh? Could she make him giggle and shake like he laughed with you?

It was late. That didn't really mean all that much to Baekhyun, as the man didn't really have any set bedtime and usually just fell asleep when the sun began to come up. It was a weekend night and you didn't have work in the morning and frankly your curiosity had grown too much for you to just stay in here and fall asleep without at least checking on how the streaming date went.

You knocked lightly on his door. You could hear music playing inside. Nothing too loud or crazy. The man seemed to be having a somewhat low key evening.

“Yeah,” his voice called lowly and you opened the door and peeked your head inside.

“How is our girlfriend doing?” Baekhyun was sitting on his butt on the floor in front of his bed with his head laid over his arms and his phone abandoned in the middle of the floor out of arm’s reach.

He let out a long low groan but did not lift his head up when you stepped inside.

“I don't even know. I don't know.” He sounded defeated already and this had only just started.

“Peanut, what happened?” You picked up the phone and unlocked the screen, searching through his apps to find the dating app so you could see if they had said anything to each other that might give you some clues about what went wrong.

“Nothing happened. I was too quiet. I couldn’t talk at all. I didn't say anything during the entire episode. Why is this so scary. Uggghhh...I feel unsafe. It’s gross.”

You stepped over him and climbed onto his bed, sitting up against the head of the bed as you scrolled through the chat logs.

It looked normal. Not unfriendly. A little terse and abrupt on his part. The man didn't know how to loosen up when he talked to girls and you wondered if maybe you needed more one on one lessons with him before he was really ready for this stuff.

When you leaned back against the headboard you felt the bed dip and he climbed onto the bed beside you and angled his body toward where you sat up against the pillows.

When you got to the end of the chat you could see that she was the last one to speak and she remarked that he felt a bit different from when they spoke at the beginning of the day. He didn't say anything in response to that.

Baekhyun moaned with his eyes closed and he turned his head into your waist. He was obviously reliving some perceived embarrassment he must have felt during the interaction with Mia and when he moved his arm around your waist you looked down to find yourself trapped under his arm that constricted as he pulled tightly, hiding the entirety of his face somewhere in the shirt you wore. He was warm. The weight of his arm around you felt nice.

“I felt so unsafe,” he repeated his complaint from earlier and his voice was obscured and muffled as he hid himself. He switched the tense though and you wondered if he no longer felt unsafe now that you had come in.

You typed out a quick response to Mia. You didn't think it was right to just leave her hanging without an explanation for his strange silence during and after the show.

“I’m going to tell her that you were so quiet because you were nervous. I’ll also thank her for watching the episode tonight.”

You heard and felt a hum and the tightness of his arm around your waist relaxed a little as his arm went slack. He did not move though. He still hugged you. He was still warm and it took only a moment for your nose to pick up the pleasant smell of his clean bed sheets fresh from the dryer. You both had a schedule for washing things like towels and bed sheets. Yours had been cleaned today as well, but something about the smell of his bed felt better than yours had. Perhaps it had been all that difficult puzzling that had tainted yours.

Mia responded right away to your message. She was flattered by his nervousness. You could tell with the way she reassured that he really didn't have to be nervous around her. That she was an easy going kinda girl. Low maintenance she said. You scoffed at the thought of a computer geek being low maintenance. As if you didn't know how difficult to obtain fancy GPUs were and how expensive high powered CPUs, high capacity SATA drives, and their required cooling systems were. You looked around Baekhyun’s set up and figured it had to run somewhere in the multiples of tens of thousands of dollars; just in this room alone.

Low maintenance. Please, she was just as high maintenance as any other regular girl just with a different catalogue of parts.

You switched to the emoji keyboard and keyed off some random happy faces and closed her chat window with more force than was necessary; suddenly and unexpectedly irked when she responded with similar emojis and the notification popped up on the screen. You swiped it away quickly to be rid of it.

“She sounded nice though, even if I couldn’t talk. She sounded nice. Do you think she will even want to talk to me again? I think she likes you more than me.”

“She will like you. If she doesn’t she’s an idiot. A girl would have to be an imbecile, Peanut, to not fall for you.”

He lifted his face then, just enough for the corners of his eye to peek out and you looked down at the side of his face as he looked at you for a moment, absorbing the encouraging words you spoke to him. His leg began to shake somewhere on the end of the bed. You could feel the rhythmic motions. He often did this when he was tired.

You had been scrolling through matches on his phone, building on an idea that popped into your head.

The man needed some practice to build up his confidence. Maybe, just maybe you could find another girl. Someone who he could talk to, chat with, be friendly with, that maybe wasn’t just so wonderfully perfect for him. Someone just to break the ice with.

You stopped on a girl. Her dress was short and the neckline was low. She really left very little up to the imagination with this outfit. Outside of the revealing clothes, it was clear that she was a beautiful woman. She was sexy and very confident in herself despite the glaringly obvious grammatical typo in her bio.

You spun the phone around to show him.

“She looks nice,” you said. Baekhyun blinked at the phone and pulled his face back a little to see the image clearly.

“—-follow you’re dreams — you are — Never too old to follow you are dreams.” Baekhyun read out the sentence with the typo out loud and you laughed.

“Come on, she’s pretty,” you said softly, “right?” You probed gently and he chuckled once to himself and closed his eyes up with a sigh.

“Yeah, she’s pretty,” he said after a while and you felt yourself stiffen just a little bit with his admission. Of course she was. Anyone could see it. He’d be lying if he didn't admit it.

“Okay but like, just pretty or do you also think she’s beautiful?”

He hummed some non response and you focused your attention back on the phone in your hands. After scrolling through a few more profiles you found another woman whose beauty shone brightly right through the screen at you.

“And her? Is she pretty or is she beautiful?”

Baekhyun’s eyes opened again but just barely. He looked half asleep and you wondered if the reason his arm was still around you was because he was so sleepy he didn't realize he was still hugging you like this on his bed.

“Pretty,” he mumbled and pushed his face into your waist again. This time the shaking in his leg began to settle and you could hear a slow steadiness in his breathing.

“Should I message her? Maybe we can practice talking to her so you’re not so nervous talking to girls?”

“Sure Bug,” he said quietly, “you can do anything you want.”

He was falling asleep now. You could feel the change. It didn't matter. You’d let him rest a bit while you opened up a chat window and began talking to Candy.

She responded quickly and had a completely different feeling from Mia. Maybe this was good. Candy was easy to talk to but she had nearly nothing in common with Baekhyun. She casually asked what a computer programmer did and when you went into specifics you had trouble finding synonyms for words that didn’t just make it all more complicated. You finally settled on a simple explanation of what kinds of computer software Baekhyun had developed and left it at that.

After a while Baekhyun shifted in his sleep and uncovered his face. His lips were parted and from the upside down angle you could see the dark splash of his pretty eyelashes that landed over his soft cheeks. He looked lovely and peaceful. All the worries and fears of the day were gone and he was sleeping so calmly. You watched his sleeping face for a while, growing warm inside with the strange contentedness you felt.

You could see some light movement behind his eyes and you wondered if he was dreaming about anything.

Candy had asked for a picture. She was asking something superficial like what sort of car Baekhyun drove and you slipped into his picture gallery for the folder with the shots you took for him when he first bought his car. You found a nice one with him smiling behind the driver’s seat, bright red seatbelt across his chest and the logo of his fancy ride on the steering wheel.

‘Wooo, baby boy an Audi? you must be loaded. When are you gonna come pick me up in that?’

You laughed at her obvious reaction. Candy was exactly as you expected her to be. Baekhyun would be able to laugh and chat with her easily without too much pressure of impressing a complicated woman like Mia was. Candy was an open book. The stakes were lower with Candy.

Your giggle made him stir and you looked down to see his eyes open a tiny bit before he closed them again.

“It’s going well with Candy,” you whispered and he inhaled a breath and nodded his head as he closed his eyes again.

“Mmm, the pretty one?” he asked in a sleepy voice and you hummed your confirmation. Something buzzed inside of you; just a bit of nerve. Call it gumption.

“Baek,” you called quietly and his lips parted with his breathing but his eyes stayed closed this time. He did not respond. He didn't give any indication at all that he heard you call him.

“Baek, what about me?” Your voice was tiny when you asked it. You felt more warmth in this bed suddenly. You felt it in your chest and it seeped up to warm up your face too.

He hadn’t responded at all to your question. It had been pretty unclear though. He might not have heard it, or might not have understood it. Or his sleep may have just been too deep to register your words.

“Am I pretty or am I beautiful?” You said it so quietly there was little chance of him actually hearing it. He was asleep and you were just here, trapped in his embrace on his bed as he slept and you puzzled over the words he had told you during an upset. The words that you had pried from him when he was vulnerable and emotional. The words that you shouldn’t be over analyzing like this. Those words felt too risky to be giving this much thought to.

Here you were again, using your sneaking methods to try and trick him into something when you knew it wouldn't work, when you knew there was nothing really there and you were reading too far into things.

His steady breathing continued. His eyes remained closed and his arm still gripped around your tightly, holding you still, holding you close to him as he slept.

So you gave up. You’d moved back to the phone to respond to Candy; something silly and lighthearted, something easy just like she was, when you heard him speak.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he said so far under his breath the statement sounded more like air than actual vocalization of any kind and your fingers stopped their rapid typing in the middle of your sentence.

Your eyes looked down. Your entire body was frozen. Half of you expected to find his eyes open and a wide teasing smile on his lips, begging for you to take the bait and believe his words just for the chance of laughing at your shocked face and making fun of you for being stupid enough to believe them.

He was asleep. His eyelids did not pull open when you looked down at him and his breathing remained as steady as ever.

Baekhyun was asleep.

That damn puzzling — your jaw was sore from clenching your teeth down and your lips were dry and chapped from biting them.  

You had dropped the phone and it disappeared somewhere amid the bedcovers.

Baekhyun’s sleep was deeper now. He must have been very tired to be falling asleep so recklessly like this. You shifted downward and made some attempt to find the phone without waking him up and your small movement made him inhale a deep breath through his nose and he was moving now. You felt him shifting, moving his sleepy body up higher in search for some comfort; for something to lay on that was a bit more comfortable than flat on the middle of the bed like that.

You used the movement to reach for the blanket and pull it over his body so he could be warm at least and when he finally settled he shared the same pillow as you. His forehead rested against your shoulder and he was once again, fast asleep.

His arm though— you found yourself still very much trapped in nearly the same embrace as before, just shifted. A forearm landed over your chest and you felt a new heaviness of his bent leg land over your thigh.

You could wake him.

You could push him off and let him roll the other way so you could make an escape back to the peace of your own bedroom.

You would. You would do that soon.

Your current state of thoughts was simply too overloaded to follow through on any game plan. If you could only have a few more minutes of his warm steady breathing, you would move away from this. You would do it.

It wasn’t that you had never considered it. It was that you had gone through many lengths to come to this place. You were safe and secure here.

It was that you had nowhere else to go when it was over.

This place was your home.

Peanut was part of that home.

Things were nice right now; the way they were at home.

But…

As they sometimes do, and against your own will, your thoughts wandered.

You wondered as they wandered — wondered about him.

From the deepest parts of your mind; down where you’d shoved them roughly many times before, those wondering thoughts danced and swayed lightly to the soft music playing in this room.

Those secret thoughts about the sweetness in his eyes. Secrets about the fondness you felt for the little tips of him; the tip of his nose, the tips of his fingers, the pink tips of his ears. Thoughts you refused to encourage.

Baekhyun was asleep and you were thinking.

With the thinking came the shame and your skin was hot to the touch. The last thing you wanted was to ruin your home. With the thinking came the denial. You could not encourage anything. You could not afford to become complacent. You did not need these thoughts to become so brazen. You did not need them taking root. The last thing you needed was them making an appearance again.

The sounds he made while dreaming pulled your closed eyelids back open. You turned your face toward the sound. It was soft, the small groan from the back of his throat. But his face changed then; eyebrows screwed together and his lungs constricted as he let out a softer sound, like a whine. It was a complaint. His face showed signs of pain. The dream must have been unpleasant.

You lifted a hand then, shifted within his embrace you raised your palm and laid it carefully over the side of his face.

The shift happened with the warm contact and his features evened out and that pained look was gone.  

You smiled then. So sleepy but satisfied that you could help when he needed it.

You would move after he got a little more sleep. After he’d had a little more comfort from you, you would move.

You weren’t the first to move. And it seemed by the change in light that shone through the windows that your visit had lasted much longer than you had intended.

It was the untangle that woke you up. A conscious and deliberate lifting of limbs; the careful grip of a hand lifting your arm by the wrist and setting it gently down on a flat mattress.

You opened your eyes when he pulled his own leg out from between your thighs. The temperature change was most jarring. You had felt so warm before.

Baekhyun was sitting up in his bed. His hair was standing up in places all over his head and he was moving slowly and carefully, in an attempt to disengage himself from the tangle of this woman he had just woken up with.

The sleep was still very thick in your head. It hadn’t been a full night’s sleep had it? You felt like you had just closed your eyes a minute ago and yet the sunshine was so bright outside already.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun whispered when he realized you were now awake and looking at him, “guess I got too comfortable...must have fallen asleep.”

His voice was thick with sleep and with embarrassment too, you could hear it everywhere, with the quick words he spoke to you and the pink that covered the back of his neck and flooded his cheeks too.

This situation...this was an embarrassment. Of course it was.

This was something that should not have happened. Not with two adults of similar age who shared so many liberties with each other; spending time in each other’s arms at night, well…

You felt awkward all over. What if—what if you’d done something in your sleep? What if you said something?

And he already wasn’t meeting your eyes as he climbed out of the bed and awkwardly made his way into his bathroom.

You could hear the sound of the running water faucet and the door closed with the smallest click like he went out of his way to close it as softly and quietly as possible to avoid disturbing you any further.

You could feel the heat burning on the skin of your cheeks and you used his absence to get up and get out of his bedroom before he came out and found you still, still tangled in his bed sheets like you’d been tangled in his legs and in his arms all night.

You had to ignore this. You had to forget it ever happened, and anyway, you were best friends with the guy...right? Wasn't this thing bound to happen in the course of a friendship? What if you went on a holiday with him and the hotel only had one bed? These things really did happen, you read about it on twitter once. Would you be that asshole best friend who let him sleep on the floor just because he was a man? No! You could build a little pillow wall between your bodies and sleep as still and motionless as possible, like a corpse.

This feeling would go away. The red hot embarrassment would wash down the drain of your shower. The sticky warmth left behind by his skin would go with it.

You’d made it as far as to undress and turn on the hot water when an awful memory dawned on you.

Baekhyun still had your shampoo.

You didn't have any other shampoo in this bathroom that you could use. You pulled open cupboards and drawers, searching for anything; tiny hotel sized travel bottles, a nearly empty bottle under the sink for a rainy day, even maybe something in the trash can that still had a few drops. Nothing.

You eyed the hand soap on your sink and pictured stepping out of the shower a frizzy, tangled mess.

A soft knock vibrated against your bathroom door.

“Bug, your shampoo.” Baekhyun’s voice called out, muffled by the sounds of the running water and the door itself, “it’s almost empty, but there’s a little left. Sorry, I’ll run to the store and get more.”

Your ear was pressed against the door so you could make out everything he said; so you could listen carefully to the tone and delivery of his words to see if he was still embarrassed about last night or if he’d brush it off easily like he did most things that seemed to bother him.

There were another two soft knocks, “B-Bug?”

“Yeah, Peanut, thank you. Can you just...put it by the door. I’m already undressed. I’ll grab it in a bit.”

He did not respond right away and you stayed with your ear against the door waiting for some sound. Some indication that he had left. The click of your door, anything.

“I left it by the door,” you heard his far away voice shout and then the click of your door.

When your shower was done and you were dressed in your favorite weekend outfit, the high waisted comfy shorts with pockets and a cute top that made you feel somewhat pretty even on a casual day and you emerged from your bedroom feeling ready to face whatever weird moods or wacky situations accosted you today.

You found him singing a song to himself in the kitchen as he made something that smelled delicious for breakfast. The radio was on a pop station that played hits from all the past decades and the upbeat rhythm of the song that played was a definite favorite that had him dancing at the stove.

It was a groovy little love song, quite old now that you thought about it and you felt the beat hit hard in your chest with each pop of his shoulders and hips. The joy you could feel in this song hit you just like that beat hit; heavy and prominent, and you smiled wide to welcome this morning mood it brought with it.

When you stepped into the kitchen to grab a mug to make yourself some coffee you couldn’t help but sing along to the song, you loved the song as much as he did and when he noticed you enter the room you could hear him singing the main parts; expertly, even though the singer was a woman, his voice could always reach the high notes as well as the low ones. She was the kind of epic singer with one of a kind of talent that was world dominating. Baekhyun was singing along, doing the same kinds of ad-libs and vocal runs that she did and he did it while holding the spatula up to his face like a microphone.

As you walked by he dipped his head and looked into your face and his eyes caught ahold of yours. You knew what was coming. You could hear it coming in the song, the chorus. The part you had to sing. These were the rules. He leaned hard and brought the spatula up to your lips just in time for your part to come on. You did not disappoint. You gave it your all closing your eyes up tight and throwing your head back, singing from the very center of you, this part you always sang during this song. The part that was made for you; he knew it and you knew it.

His smile was genuine and breathtaking and he grabbed your hand with his spatula-less hand and pulled you into him, the beat taking over whatever bit of nervousness he might have had before. This was different. This was dancing. This was singing to simply the best song for a Saturday morning and it was moving and laughing with your best friend and you let him spin you in a small circle, careful to keep your coffee mug lifted so it didn’t hit anything during the spin.

His sense of rhythm was perfect. His hips moved as if they were made for this. You had no choice but to follow. An occasional hand on your hip told you where to go. The song was reaching its peak and you knew it was a short one. The best ones always were. It was going to begin winding down now. It was always such a sweet and short lived moment of happiness that you always appreciated immensely.

As a final move, he gave you a little spin and released you to go on your way toward the coffee maker you so desperately wanted to get to when you first entered this kitchen.

He finished the eggs with the last notes of the song.

As you both sat down to eat, his eyes met yours and yours met his and you dug into the eggs and bacon he’d prepared. You offered him a perfectly buttered toast slice and he took it, nodding his head as he bit into the crisp corner.

“So Bug,” he spoke up between bites of eggs, chewing and swallowing thoughtfully, “about this...Candy.”

You swallowed the hot coffee in your mouth and clasped your hands together, suddenly remembering how asleep he had been when you had hit it off with Candy, his practice girl.

He listened to your explanation. Your theory that the stakes were simply too high with Mia and he needed someone to talk to that was a bit more of a relaxed task for him. You called it easy mode so he might get the game reference. He ate and listened to you talk and occasionally his eyebrows would lift or screw together with whatever sorts of thoughts he was thinking inside his head. You could tell by his body language that he didn't exactly want to start something with Candy and you had to emphasize that it was really just for practice, talking to her. It was to help build his confidence.

“She’s already in, Peanut. She thinks you’re super cool, she thinks you’re rich and thinks you have a very good job and plus, you make lots of money and she seems super into that.”

He was not speaking yet, despite how much you had talked and you were beginning to get worried that he didn’t see the benefit of practicing his conversation skills a little bit.

“It’s not even real, Baek, you just have to make some things up with her. Just to get over that anxiety about talking to women. Just until you are more comfortable.”

When he finally did speak, it was as you feared.

“It just feels kinda gross, Bug. She’s a real person too, even if she is obviously a gold digger. It just seems wrong. I’ve been...thinking lately. What if this is...wrong of us?”

“What if I just have to tough it out with Mia and get the fuck over it and just,” he thrust his hands forward over the food on the table for emphasis, “just — blehhhh — talk, just fucking talk to her.”

You lifted a fork with eggs toward your lips but your stomach protested. You suddenly didn't want any more food. The coffee you were drinking had suddenly gone too cold for your liking and you pushed the plate and mug away from you with your fingertips.

You were bothered.

Why did he choose right now to suddenly grow a conscience about this? Did he forget that Mia was chatting with both of you and not just him?

“I...I just — I want to try with Mia. I know I can get over it and talk to her. And I don't want to talk to Candy. The person Candy thinks I am, well...that’s just false. I can’t be the person she’s expecting me to be.”

He had obviously read through the entire conversation with Candy last night and found the tales you told simply too stretched out for him to try and live up to.

“But that’s what people do when they start dating. They stretch the truth, make themselves sound just a little bit better, make themselves taller, or make themselves look richer. They all do this.” You simply could not understand why he didn’t get this. Why he didn’t just play by the rules that everyone followed to get through the door so he could stand a chance here.

“Well I don't. I don't want someone to fall for a fake version of me. I want someone to like me now. This me. Byun Baekhyun. The Peanut with anxiety who lives with Bug who almost killed him over a cheese stick, but who makes really great toast.”

He was smiling now, joking about the funny memories. You pulled your lips into a forced smile and lifted the coffee for another drink so you didn't have to smile any more.

He was watching your face. You were sure he sensed it. Something had bothered you to the point of giving up on your breakfast and every pass your eyes made over his face led to the same thing. He was watching you.

“Why are you upset?”

You shook your head lightly. Willing the obvious signs to leave your face. You didn't even know why. You didn't have a name for this. So you just shrugged in response to him.

“Because I don't want to practice on Candy? Did you actually like her for me?”

You really made your best attempt. You inhaled deep and closed your eyes and you shook your head.

Candy did not matter and you knew it. There was something ugly inside of you maybe. Something that did not want Baekhyun to get along with perfect Mia. Something that was fighting against the idea of him being happy and healthy and free of this unhealthy attachment you had to him. Free and happy away from you.

“Then why?”

Enough. You were being unfair to him. You had promised him that you would help him. You had gotten him this far and you’d be the worst kind of asshole if you didn't see him through to the end; if you didn't follow through with your promise to find him someone who would love him like he deserved to be loved, exactly as he was now. The amazingly wonderful Byun Baekhyun.

“It’s nothing like that,” you smiled softly. It felt like a sad smile, but at least it was genuine. “I just worry when you get so anxious. You know you fell right asleep last night. As soon as I came in, you passed right out.”

Your words skillfully slipped out of your lips and you successfully changed the subject. You felt like a coward, but you simply did not have words for what was happening to you.

“I didn’t...say anything did I? Before I fell asleep?”

This question was quiet. His fingertips grazed over his lips as he asked it, nearly muffling the words he shyly asked you at the breakfast table, the morning after.

You are so fucking beautiful.

You are so fucking beautiful.

You lifted your coffee cup to drink the tepid liquid inside and dropped your eyes from his shaking ones. The answer to his question sat on the back of your tongue even after you swallowed away the liquid.

You swallowed again and it refused to budge and yet you sat in silence, unable to utter a single word in reply to his quiet question.

Your silence went on for too long and he looked up into your face. An instant smile lifted at the corner of your lips and you forced it up into your eyes.

“You just slept, Peanut. We—” you had to exhale the breath that you had been holding for too long in your lungs, “we just slept.”

 Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

Tag list: @j-pping  @blahblahblah-boo  @his-mochi-cheeks  @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13  @baekinmylife  @insta1010  @nana-banana  @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth  @totallynerdstuff  @byunbabybaek @maijinki @bbyunz@theclawofaraven

[totallypathet]

Episode 8

A rusical, okay! We like a rusical. Interesting how they've done it this year though, I don't think they've ever done a rusical where they weren't either singing live or lipsyncing to a pre-arranged track of vocals. Half of me thinks it would have been better if they'd just sung it live, but then I guess they couldn't have done the OTT choreo.

The rusical itself was a little weird, some of the writing was just odd, and the "jokes" really weren't that funny. Anyway, let's talk about it!

1. Denali

I was worried for Denali this week! It happens so often on this show where we see queens say "I don't understand why I've only been safe I have to really up my game this week" and then they promptly get the judges attention in all the wrong ways and get sent home. I also kind of think Rosé did her a massive favour by refusing to give her the role they fought over (I can't even remember the names, they were all bizarre), because I think Denali would have got so in her head about that role and just wouldn't have been able to let go and have fun like she did.

After the Anne Hathaway call though, she just seemed so much happier and more relaxed, and she kind of just went into it with a much better attitude and she killed it! She did an awesome job in the rusical, it was fun to see her play a sort of grungy, messy character because she's so polished usually. She did an amazing job, and she deserved to be in the top this week!

Her look for me was a little bit meh, I just wish the snake headpiece had been bigger and bolder. From a distance it kind of looked like noodles. But it was still good, she still looked great, and I'm proud of her!

2. Elliott

Why is Elliott still there? I don't get it. She should have gone last week, and then this week her performance was just okay, and her look was a worse version of Tina's.

She should have been lipsyncing for me, or at least in the bottom three! I don't get what they see in her.

3. Gottmik

Gottmik was great this week! I loved her performance, again it was fun watching her do something outside her comfort zone, she's not really known for being a dancer, so it was cool to see that. I really like that she really genuinely gave that her absolute best, like she knew she wasn't a great dancer but she worked really hard to get that choreography, and she did it great!

Her look was stunning, obviously! Gottmik and Symone are carrying the runway fashion this season. It was very cool, very conceptual, very Gottmik.

I dont know that I necessarily would have put her in the top this week. I think she was great, but I actually think Tina should have been in the top - which is something I never thought I'd say!

4. Kandy Muse

I feel like Kandy was mostly just unfortunate this week.

I think her recorded track was great - I did think there were to many vocal effects on it, but that's not really her choice, she can't blame her. I also think she's not a bad dancer, but I think she was thrown off to some extent by her wardrobe choices - the wig got in the way too much, and the skirt seemed to be a bit restricting, it just doesn't seem like she thought those choices through very well. It wasn't her best performance, but I also don't think it was a bad performance, which is kind of why I think she was just unfortunate.

Her runway this week I think was stunning. I feel like every week I say she's never looked prettier, but honestly this week she looked so pretty!! I loved the daisy's in her hair, and that long wig was so stunning with all that gorgeous fabric, I just loved it.

I think it's right that she was in the bottom, but again I don't think she did a bad job this week, I think she just delivered an average performance, when most of the other queens had a good performance.

5. Olivia Lux

Another great week for Olivia! She has such a stunning voice I was so excited to hear her do more singing. I kind of think she should have been in the tip three, but again I am biased, as an Olivia Stan 😂

My only real criticism of her this week was her outfit in the rusical? I get that she was a tech student, and I think she was just going for a casual look, it's just kind of unfortunate that it came off boring instead. I kind of wish she'd leaned into a more student look, and done like, stained sweatpants, and a really messy bun. Actually, it would have been really funny if, you know like you see art students with messy buns and a pencil through it? If she'd have done a messy bun and like a computer mouse through it or something! But overall her performance was incredible.

She always brings it on the runway as well, she brings these kind of pageant gowns, but in a really beautiful and modern way? I love it. I loved the big puff sleeve, I loved the fringe, she looked stunning.

6. Rosé

Rosé made me so happy this week! Her voice is so incredible, that Don't Rain on My Parade pastiche literally gave me chills! She is talented as hell, and I'm glad the judges are seeing it.

Her performance was really incredible - she's an incredible singer, and a great dancer - but I have a similar thing as Olivia about her outfit in the rusical? It just seemed like kind of an odd choice. I didn't get until like halfway through that she was meant to be like "the slutty friend", I just didn't really get that from her look. When the dress kept riding up it just looked like a mistake, you know what I mean? Again, it's a nitpick - they probably didn't have a whole lot of outfit choices for this challenge because they didn't know their roles before they came.

I loved her runway look as well! I loved the Mask reference, the only thing I wish is that she'd had a big hat, instead of that tiny fascinator. I'm so nitpick today, honestly! I just sort of wish she'd walked out with a big hat pulled right down and then revealed the green face when she hit the end of the runway. But that's just me! I did think it was stunning. I also don't think it was orange? Like it was the orange side of yellow, but it was definitely still yellow!

I'm really glad she won this challenge, she deserved it so much!

7. Symone

Symone had a bit of a rough week, and I feel for her. She really struggled with her vocals, and look not everyone is a singer, that's okay! But I can see how much she got I her head having seen other queens absolutely kill their vocals, and I think she just felt really insecure about it. I do kind of think it's unfair that they record their vocals in front of everyone else. When it's a team challenge, it makes sense, but when they're competing as individuals it just seems unfair and literally designed to make the queens who aren't singers feel bad!

Also, sidenote, they recors vocals in this huge, wide open runway room, that can't be good acoustics in which to record vocals, surely. In earlier seasons they seemed to use (at least something akin to) a recording studio? I'm confused.

Anyway, it was tough to watch this week, because she really did just get in her head about it, and it affected her whole performance. She wasn't having a good time, and that was rough. I do think part of the problem is that she was wearing sunglasses during the performance? When the audience can't see your eyes it's really difficult for them to connect with you while you're performing. It was just a shame.

Her runway look though! Honestly, her and Gottmik are going to need physio after carrying the whole of the fashion for season 13 on their backs! It was so stunning, that big coat, and the suspenders; she looked so cool and fashionable, I just immediately forgave the rest of her performance!

Unfortunately, I do think she deserved to be in the bottom this week, but I really hope she can pull back up to being the Symone we all know and love next week!

8. Tina Burner

I actually really liked Tina this week! I've been very underwhelmed with Tina this season, but I actually think she did a great job this week! I loved her very Liza Minelli rusical performance (and look), she was giving me that very old Broadway half talking, half singing; and I think it was great! Okay Michelle, she stopped lipsyncing like 2 seconds before the track when she died, but she really performed her track, and she sang it really well!

And then her runway look was great! It was campy, but it was also beautiful! It was fitted beautifully, it was cut beautifully, she looked stunning, the headlights on the tits was hilarious - and I noticed after the lipsync that those were actual lights! They actually lit up! So cute! And finally she wore something other than a red wig, and she looked so beautiful! Her face was gorgeous, the hair was perfect, it was great. So polished.

She did not at all deserve to be bottom three this week - especially not when Elliott with 3 Ks was safe.

9. Utica

I feel like my opinion on Utica goes up and down all the Time. Sometimes I think she's great, and other times I just feel kind of bored by her.

This week I was a little bored. I think she did well delivering that track, that's a tough vocal part. That's it.

Maybe that's not super fair. I just think her actual performance was a bit boring, and her facial expressions are genuinely becoming hard to watch. I am not looking forward to watching her lipsync when she lands in the bottom two.

I also hated hated hated her runway look this week. I know she was going for this medieval thing and she explained the cutout sides and all that, but it was ugly. And not even in a cool way of being ugly but fashionable, or so ugly that it's pretty; it was just fuck ugly.

I think it was right that she was safe, her performance was better than Kandy, Symone and Elliott, but her runway look was definitely the worst.

This week was kind of a weird one, because I really really didn't understand the judging criteria this week. I am still baffled that Elliott was safe, I'm baffled that she's still there at all, honestly. I'm also still shocked about Tina being in the bottom?! I don't get it.

I am kind of glad it was a double shantay this week - I just kind of feel like neither Kandy nor Symone actually did a bad enough job to go home this week.

Having said that, it is getting very tiring that there is still so many queens there! 8 episodes and only 4 queens have gone home? How long is this fucking series going to be???

[what-a-messsss]

2x2 rewatch

Eeeeehehehehe, why the fuck am I laughing this hard when I realized it was the roadkill compost episode?  That is not in the least funny, it’s actually pretty gross, but I’m literally paused 3 seconds in chortling to myself so hard that I’m having to wipe away tears.  ...I think the stress is getting to me.  Anyway, back to fictional Wyoming!

It’s actually a pretty genius business model, to be honest.  Taking a sadly repeating resource and using it to enrich the soil?  Tough work, no doubt, physically and mentally, but a smart and very niche thing.  I hadn’t thought about the fact that cleaning up roadkill would have been part of Walt’s job as a deputy.  Lucian said in S6, in his fantastically circuitous way, that it had been 10 years since he and Walt had worked together (if I remember correctly).  Which... wait, is that right?  Had Walt really only been sheriff for 4 years when the show started?  Which is a single term, before Branch ran against him.  I think I’d had the impression that he’d been sheriff for longer than that.  Or is my math just super borked?  (A very real possibility.)  Who were Walt’s deputies before these three?  Branch has  probably been a deputy for a while, Vic was hired a few months before the show and it isn’t clear for Ferg but it’s implied at least a chunk longer.  So who were his deputies for the rest of those 4 years?  (Aaaaaand this is how I grow OCs.  Shit.)

She names the roadkill?  Eeeeeh...

Branch, you douchecanoe.  You are very clearly not welcome in her home anymore; the fact that she hasn’t moved the spare key isn’t a fucking invitation to break in and invade her privacy, oh my gods I hate you so much.  This is predatory behavior.  You need to either go through official channels with the department to do a wellness check or FUCK RIGHT OFF into the deepest reaches of hell.  Excellent plan, fucking off.

Henry,  I adore you beyond measure.  “Thanks-taking.”  Vic... Seriously?  “God, you people really hold a grudge.”  Somehow, I think they’re kind of entitled to, what with all of the wars, genocide, stolen land, racism, broken treaties, and the like.  Get bent.

Genuinely, Henry’s dry as anything sass is quite possibly the best thing about the whole show.  We didn’t get nearly enough of it during the later seasons.  And his little smiiiiile at having made Walt chuckle, oh my heart.

The “Hands up!”  O.o  “Hands down!” little comedy gag is totally sold by KS’s face, haaaa.  And Ferg’s bafflement, but collected response to those truckers thinking he was a rentboy was solid.

I kind of have to applaud that sex worker’s gumption to just try to take off in the truck.  Not the best thought out plan, to be sure, but gutsy.

Ok, Branch has just had a line establishing that they’re not in Absaroka, and then Vic and Ferg look annoyed/confused when Walt tells them to cut the sex workers and customers loose, but then Branch finishes with, “Absaroka County wishes you all a fine evening... at home.”  So are they in Absaroka, or not??

Kudos to Walt saying, “Which will allow you to get out of here.  If that’s what you want.”  Not falling completely into the savior complex bs is good, and acknowledging that she is an adult who can make her own decisions, even if they’re ones he would wish she wouldn’t is good.  ........If only he could extend that same courtesy to his own daughter.  

Branch, wtf.  It’s a felony to even have burglar’s tools.  Legit, it’s a felony punishable with up to 3 years in prison or up to $3k, or both.  Unlawful entry is 10 years and/or $10k, and I’m pretttttyyyyyy fucking sure you don’t have a warrant to be in Cady’s house.  FUCK OFF.  You giant douchecanoe.  (Min and I also have a headcanon that the random coloured empty frames are Branch’s fault, because they don’t really go with any of the rest of the decor, and we hate them.  So we decided that when he saw the Andy Warhol style print she had that he got those for her and she just never got around to taking them down after they broke up.)  And isn’t tampering with someone’s mail a federal offence?  You are the worst.

Aaaand then Walt calls the Collettes showing Ross Lanten’s wife video of him with prostitutes “interfering in his marriage.”  Okaaaay.  Because helping get a woman and kids out of what has several hallmarks of an abusive marriage is “interfering,” I guess.  Not the happiest about that word choice, I’m not gonna lie.

Aaaaaand then Whitish is super racist, and I hate her.  Henry handles it with grace, but fuck, I cannot imagine how wearying that must be.  And Branch makes obnoxious and offensive assumptions (playing to his strengths, natch), and Henry once again demonstrates how he is also the Actual Best.

Nobody has heard from Cady recently, but the tiny little hesitation Henry has before he confirms that he hasn’t heard from her either is so good.  LDP is so good.  Just from that, it reinforces how much that bothers him, and that he’s worried, but also that he really doesn’t want to talk to Branch about any of it.

“If you do, will you let me know?”  “I most certainly will not.”  Such a classy way to basically tell Branch to fuck off and get wrecked.  

A lady threatening Henry with a knife and I should not be focusing on how great he looks in a vest, but heeeeere we are.  (I do love that brown vest.)  And even after she is drunk and rude and racist and threatens him, Henry’s look when she says that she knew the dead man still has concern and compassion in it.  Waaaaaah.

Do I remember what Walt did to his hand?  Was that something from this episode that I’m not remembering right now, or are they actually having some intra-episode continuity and that bandage is him still recovering from the start of frostbite?  [Dang it, my Xbox controller just pooped out.  Now I have to go swap it out for the other one and stick this one in the charging dock.  But I’m so cozy in bed with my jar o’ tea and everythinggggg.  Boo.]  ...  [It has been long enough since I wrote that last bit that my Xbox has shut itself down twice in the interim.  Oops.  I’m super great at focusing.]

Fuck, that “I was some place I shouldn’ta been” hits hard.  This whole seen in rough.

Aaaahaha, why is the fact that Ferg is also standing there looking at Walt when he wakes up so much funnier than if it had just been Vic?  And his little grin.  And Ruby with a mug of his toothbrush and such for Walt!  Rubyyyyy!  (Holy shit, the fact that they have this little set up is alarmingly adorable, and I heckin’ adore Ruby.)  And then she sasses Branch, and I just want nice things for her.  

Walt’s “If you want,” to Ferg came off to me more like, ‘waste your time if you want to,’ (though that could well be my own issues projected” but I’m proud of Ferg for running with it.  And I do appreciate Walt calling the sex worker a lady.

Of course, he pulls Henry into his bs, getting him to solicit a sex worker.  Why does Henry put up with him?  I’m sorryyyy, but the pointing is so awkward and I cringe so hard, but what else is he going to do, I guess?  And how does he recognize her anyway?  Did Walt take a picture of her before letting her go, or something?  It doesn’t seem like he even got her name, to pull up a picture from a rap sheet, sooo...  Why am I even worrying about it?  And at least Walt doesn’t think that it’s not rape just if it’s a sex worker.

The flashback scene sure hits hard, too.  Damn.  I’m trying to remember the last time I saw anybody other than Vic actually pull on a glove in consideration of fingerprints.  I think there might have been one time or something, but nothing comes readily to mind.

For all that I rag on Walt for just collecting his assumptions and taking them to the bank, there is heavy irony with him now laying out the reasons he’s not arresting Whitish, because there is reasonable doubt in the form of the Collettes.  

Ooooooope, and then Branch brings up Cady.  I sure this can only go really well.  Aaaaaaaaand of course Walt has one of his Longmire Epiphanies and just walks off in the middle of the conversation, such as it was.

Does a college registrar’s really have your birth certificate on file?  I’m pretty sure I didn’t have to submit a copy to mine, but I also don’t really remember?  But that seems weird.

Ah, the bandage was about the frostbite.  I appreciate the continuity.  

Hmmmmmm, Cady leaving her phone at home when she drove to CO seems unlikely.  It seems unlikely as a generality for her generation, and on practical levels (directions to the precinct and such?), and just... That’s pretty hard to buy.  If I don’t want to talk to somebody, or even a bunch of people, I’d ignore calls or even block numbers, but her not taking her phone gives the impression that there is literally nobody that she would want to talk to, and that plays into this really weird bit of characterization void that the writers fell into of Cady just not knowing any single person other than her dad, Henry, Ruby, Branch, and Ferg, and I guess Vic.  As if she just doesn’t exist outside of her relation to one of them.  She doesn’t want to talk to any of the 6 of them, so there is not a single other person on the planet who she would want to be able to talk to/have them contact her?  There’s not a single other person on the planet that she knows who if they called and said, “I have an emergency, can you talk/help?” that she wouldn’t want to be available for?  Bullshit.  The entire rest of the series when she’s onscreen is showing how much she cares.  She’s a fucking Hufflepuff, and she’s not going to leave her damn phone at home while she drives 6 hours away into another damn state.  If you so desperately need to that she’s not even seeing his call, have her leave it in her car when she goes into the Denver station.  Like, unless she has a second phone that she did take, I’m not buying it.  Even as an attempt at “she’s so caught up in her mother’s murder now, oooo, Longmire tantrum and singular focus’ characterization.  Just, boo.

[stilwaterskeeter]

Gatboss Headcanons

If you didn’t see this post coming.....how bold of you to assume I wasn’t gonna make this post eventually...

Anyways

Boss fell first

Well maybe “fell” isn’t the right word for it. They liked Johnny first and they realized it first, he’s an attractive and charismatic guy somehow how could they not?

They fell for him when he took a shotgun blast to the knee and then still took out Big Tony long enough for The Playa to get away

Johnny was always into The Boss too but it took him a lot longer to realize and even longer to step up to the plate

Aisha’s not stupid, she knew before Johnny did, she’s always known in a way

She believes in the soulmates kinda thing, she thinks that yeah she and Johnny are soulmates, but so are Johnny and The Boss

She absolutely encourages them but in vague and snide comments mostly, Johnny’s damn oblivious and doesn’t catch on ever

The Boss catches on easy enough, they think it’s a little weird that Aisha supports it but they’re a go with the flow kinda person so they just roll with it

Aisha even invites The Boss on some of her and Johnny’s dates

Johnny is of course Johnny and doesn’t really see anything weird with his homie hanging out at their dates

Queue The Boss and Aisha rolling their eyes like “can you believe we’re in love with this guy?”

Aisha and The Boss were planning on having a nice date (nice by Johnny’s standards, so watching shitty action flicks and eating Freckle Bitch’s) where they finally sat Johnny down to have The Talk and be like “Hey, you’re kind of dense. Do you realize we’re both dating you?”

Said plan never happens because The Ronin get in the way

And then Aisha dies

The Boss definitely isn’t about to step up and say anything now or anytime soon, Johnny needs time to mourn and honestly so does The Boss

Funny enough, it’s not long after her death and funeral that Johnny realizes he might be in love with The Boss and might have been for a while

The Boss is the first person Johnny sees aside from a doctor or nurse when he’s in the hospital and they don’t give him any of that pity crap, they don’t even bring up Aisha at all unless Johnny does

They’ve always been good at that with him, knowing when and what to keep their mouth shut about

Not to mention they don’t miss a beat when the power goes out, Johnny doesn’t even have the time to make a joke about leaving right then because The Boss is already ahead of him on that, they give him a pistol “just in case” and they’re off

And they let him deal with Shogo, only stepping in to help bury the brat, didn’t even say anything, didn’t need to. They were gonna stay by his side through it all and probably as long as they’re both still standing at this point

And now that he’s thinking about it, The Boss was always hanging around with him and Aisha even before the boat explosion and especially when Johnny was all but bedridden for a while after getting his knee blown out and kidnapped

And shit they’re really fuckin’ funny and they’re really fuckin good lookin’ too

Johnny still doesn’t say anything though, he thinks it’d be kinda fucked up to say something when they only just buried Aisha maybe a few weeks ago

But he’s going to say it eventually...just not now...but eventually

Eventually never comes

They’re always hanging out and they go on what Johnny thinks probably count as dates

They go to the movies to see every shitty action flick and every shitty horror flick and even to some animated movies

They get kicked out for talking too much and too loudly and for throwing their food everywhere during the action and horror movies

They do their damn best to stay during the animated movies, it’s hard to enjoy your guilty pleasures if you’re not paying attention or focused on some asshole security guard trying to manhandle you out of the theater

And they go to some of the Skeeters games for a while

Until they get banned because they ran onto the playing field drunk and naked and “ruined” the game

Of course they think they made it better, but oh well

But Johnny just never speaks up, there’s always another gang war on the horizon looming over them or cops or something

After a while he thinks maybe The Boss doesn’t feel the same and just sort of decides not to tell them

It’s not like it’d make any difference, they’re still gonna go to the movies and the shooting range and shit

And then they try to rob The Syndicate’s bank

Johnny doesn’t stop for a moment to think that maybe this is it for them so of course he doesn’t think to tell The Boss how he feels

But then The Boss and Shaundi jump and there’s a fucking alien trying to abduct him and fuck, he’s missed his window

Johnny’s death hits The Boss fucking hard, but lbr we been knew that

They don’t let their anger or their sadness or anything that they’re feeling show half as much as they want to

Shaundi’s already angry enough for the both of them and The Boss needs to make sure she doesn’t get reckless because they’re not about to lose anymore friends

It’s a silent anger for the most part, they shut up, shoot, and move on in their fights and during their plans. They’re going to personally put a fucking bullet in Loren’s head and they’re going to level this fucking city if they have to to get to him

After Loren’s dead they realize that fuck it, they don’t need the territory, they just want to go home and bury Johnny and do fuck all for a few weeks or months maybe

Before they go back to Steelport after Johnny’s funeral is raided, The Boss stops by Johnny’s house and grabs some of his gold chains, they start to wear some of them themself

The also take one of his knives and tie one of the chains around the handle. They have every intention to use the knife to tear into Killbane themself

After everything is said and done, there’s sort of just this hole and they know damn well there’s no filling it

Shaundi and Pierce try to help because of course they noticed

Shaundi tries to take them out and help them get fucked up and just let loose or to a shooting range to just go crazy in

Pierce takes them for drives with the playlist he’s got for when they’re hanging out at full blast so they can sing and just bullshit around town

It does help some and cheers them up a little, but that hole is definitely not going away

All the others try to help in their own ways

Kinzie goes with them to Smiling Jack’s

Angel spars with them

Viola takes them to clubs or these expensive art shows

Oleg just sort of hangs out with them, he tries to entertain them with small things like seeing what kind of stuff he can crush in his bare hands or a game where they watch russian dramas and The Boss tries to guess what they’re saying and what’s going on and Oleg just watches and occasionally actually helps

Eventually the hole subsides and then they’re the president then they’re in space and Earth ks destroyed

The Boss likes to joke about how much it all seems like the plot for one of the shitty movies they and Johnny used to watch

But then Kinzie says she’s found Johnny, that he’s not dead

Fuck everyone else they’re going get Johnny, smart idea of not, The Boss is not losing him again

Once Johnny’s back they both try to ignore how awkward it is

They both wanna tell the other but after so many years it just seems pointless

The crew gets sick of it after a week and pull an old “lock them in a room until they confess”

The crew has clearly forgotten how stubborn The Boss and Johnny both are

It doesn’t work and the crew gives up because they need The Boss actually to do their job

After the crew’s little mishap, Johnny admits defeat and confronts The Boss himself

“Listen, man, I don’t wanna like freak you out or anythin’ but I’ve missed you a lot and you kind of mean a lot to me and I didn’t really show that before and I really never told you this but what I’m tryna say is I think I’m probably kind of in love with you...or something...”

Of course it goes well and of course the first thing they do is sleep together

“I can’t believe it...Aisha was right.”

“She was what?”

“Johnny, why do you think Aisha invited me on all of your dates?”

“Isn’t that just what homies do? I thought she just liked the company...”

They don’t ever announce it or anything but they’re not exactly keeping it a secret either

The Boss calls Johnny their First Lady all the time because it gets on Johnny’s nerves

“Aw c’mon, that’s bullshit! I was never on Earth when you were president!”

“Doesn’t make it any less true, Johnny!”

Of course the crew had bets about how this was going to end

Pierce, Kinzie, Keith, and Ben have to pay Shaundi, Asha, and Matt

Pierce also has to pay Shaundi extra because they’ve had a bet going since SR2

Pierce thought The Boss and Johnny were already an item

Shaundi took one look at them and went “oh hell no, they’re gonna be pining for a while, dude”

Man, was she right, it took Johnny’s death, an alien invasion, and the destruction of Earth for them to even tell each other

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E56 (March 26, 2019)

Gooooood evening, everyone. @eponymous-rose is taking a well-deserved break, so I’m stepping in to ruin reputations and botch direct quotations all over the place. Here to give us the appropriate gravitas and fear for the evening is the Chamber of Chairs:

Tonight’s guests: Liam O’Brien & Marisha Ray. Dani flips Liam off to start the show and it’s pretty funny. “What did I doooo?”

Tonight’s announcements: Last night was the season finale of Between the Sheets, featuring Ashly Burch, who is shockingly short in person. The VOD’s up for subscribers now, and it’ll be posted on YT tomorrow for everyone else. The Ashley Johnson episode will be up soon! Yay! Remember, no new episode of CR this week, and no new episode of TM next Tuesday as a result. Normal CR broadcasting resumes April 4. The Kickstarter hit $8 million today. Liam: “Oh boy oh boy oh boy it’s fine it’s fine IT’S FINE.” The final goal is $8.8m with 23 days to go, and a behind-the-scenes filming of the theme song was posted today on the KS. The video’s actually pretty cool & features Ashley in a feather boa!

Anyway! Episode 56: The Favor

CR Stats! This was the shortest episode of this campaign at 2h19m15s of gameplay. Only Shopping and Shipping from C1 was shorter. This episode tied for the fewest spells cast in one episode (six) and all were cast by Caleb. Over the 44 episodes & 136 days the M9 had the dodecahedron, they gained 25 fragments of possibility and actually utilized 13. 

Liam and Marisha talk about having a timer in the office: “It has been 27 days since the last Holy Fuck ending.”

None of them thought Matt was going to cut it off at that point, but when he explained he wanted Taliesin there for the next part, it made sense to all of them & they all agreed it was for the best.

Beau has four thousand thoughts racing through her head right now. One of them is excitement about getting to learn the Kryn more, but she’s also terrified. Henry interrupts with the most adorable baying howl and he walks offstage. What a good pupper.

Liam describes the moment as everyone frozen in amber as they wait for the next episode. Beau will figure out something to her advantage between now and then.

Marisha likens this moment to the Emon attack and the Lorenzo fight with Molly in terms of emotional shock. Brian remembers Sam was in a tux that night; Marisha: “I knew it was going to be a funeral tux.”

There’s another question about how Marisha/Beau feels about the dodeca handoff, and both Liam and Marisha start laughing about how this entire TM episode is just going to be about the ramifications of Caleb’s decision. Liam: “No regrets,” but he understands there’s going to be a lot of fallout. They talk about how the ramifications will depend on how public the Krynn make their gift: will it be parades in the streets, a handshake and dismissal from a private room, etc? What if there was a Dairon-type spy in the room who’ll tell people they don’t want to know about their actions? They’re eager and afraid to see the fallout.

Brian points out everyone could see on Travis’s face he would rather have gone to jail, but further discussion is derailed by questions.

The group had discussed the possibility of handing off the dodecahedron in the past, but he hadn’t considered ever handing it off until the last sixty seconds when “everything was going to shit. It was more mathematical than anything. It felt a lot like Avantika. We’ve got a plan, the plan’s broken, but we can get away, no, we can’t get away, now this is changing--I don’t want someone outside our group to control the situation if I can act first, if I can punch first. Everyone’s trying to negotiate and it’s failing, I don’t want to give up this thing either, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, here’s--this.” Caleb wanted to save the group. He wouldn’t have taken the gamble even two minutes earlier. Then, suddenly as it began to work, he & Caleb began realizing that not only did it work, but it worked very well and now his brain had split into two: “oh, thank God, I care about these people, I can save them,” and “how do I use this to my advantage.”

Caleb was quiet through most of this episode because he really wanted to discuss several things in private with other group members--that’s what he was thinking about for most of this.

Dani points out everyone expected physical travel between this fight & the audience with the queen where there would be downtime to discuss things. None of them expected immediate teleportation.

If Beau had been in a position to stop Caleb from giving up the beacon, she would not have stopped him.

Beau was wincing as Nott & Jester asked questions they should have already known the answers to. Liam points out it’s the war room in Dr. Strangelove--only the most powerful people would have been there. Beau dislikes authority but doesn’t think she’s stupid enough to have gotten herself seen as an obvious traitor.

Everyone revels in Matt’s Caduceus impression.

GIF of the Week: Liam pulling the dodeca out of the haversack by Will D. Brian singsongs “Travis is tilted~, Travis is tilted, look at his face~” over the GIF playing. Haaaaaahaha, poor Travis.

Liam: “I think I’m just in the shithouse.” Marisha: “You blew the shit whistle.”

Brief hilarious aside where they discuss Tetanus Terry (ft. on Travis Willingham’s YeeHaw Game Ranch) & Caleb Widogast getting fully replaced by Terry as a backup character if he gets assassinated.

On a scale of 1-10, Beau is following Dairon’s advice to a 7. She’s trying not to get attached, not to die, to listen, to not get impatient, to not be biased. She’s probably going to get closer to people than Dairon would suggest, but thinks she’s trying pretty hard.

It wasn’t cathartic for Caleb to renounce the Empire like this. His parents were very pro-Empire, and now that he’s on this journey to atone for his parents’ deaths, he’s done exactly the last thing his parents ever, ever wanted him to do--walked into the heart of the enemy and gave them everything they wanted. (Brian, Liam, & Dani briefly rag on Tumblr still having faint life somewhere. “Female-presenting nipples” comes up. It’s funny and also very sad.)

Brian discusses how it’s a big moment, but it’s not a victory for the group. Caleb was just shooting for a short-term immediate solution. Marisha: “It feels like a sitcom bait-and-switch. Nah, it’s cool, guys, we’re gonna pretend to be waiters and we’ll sneak into the kitchen,” but then they sneak into the kitchen and the cook laughs that the sous-chef is out today, and “now we’re in over our heads!”

Brian reveals dramatically that last night he came out as a supporter of Liam for President of D&D Beyond. Liam: “Beneath all the chicanery & hair product, there is common sense."

Liam & Marisha talk about the difference between Nott/Caleb’s original first podunk jail and this potential maximum security prison.

Caleb imagined the BDSM straps over his shirt and coat. Apparently most of the fanart generated this week has failed to include them. 

Both Marisha & Liam VEHEMENTLY agree they hated not being able to be main parts of the Brightqueen talks. They also talk about how they both are far better at CHA than Nott & Jester, though they point out in fairness that Matt’s told them he always adjusts the social DCs based on the arguments they make.

As far as the slavery part of the disguise, Marisha: “Marisha has laughed at every piece of fanart. Beau was surprised. Beau’s gonna have a talk.” She (Beau) felt they had discussed the costumes, the pretense--but not the bullying & active degradation her group put her through. It was huge, an eye-opening moment for Beau in a way she (Beau & Marisha) absolutely did not expect. She never thought they would abuse their status over her in that way.

They discuss how on a meta sense, they all knew that the scene was just Travis and Laura trolling them and having fun at their expense, but at the same time it’s still happening in game and will have in-game consequences. Marisha: “It’s like at a party where your good friend starts getting a little too drunk and starts making fun of you a little too much--it’s a little too real.”

That said, one of Marisha’s favorite fanarts from this week was Beau (as a table) swearing under her breath at Jester with her feet up. It’s an interesting juxtaposition.

Fanart of the Week: The Brightqueen by Nikki Dawes.

Beau does not feel she’s betrayed anyone by being present at this event. She knows where her allegiances lie, so just because this happened doesn’t mean it’s changed anything about what she believes. That said, she has no love for the Empire. She’s very personal with whom she cares about. She doesn’t have as much obvious disdain as Caleb does--she’s just more indifferent.

Caleb has a high CHA that he just doesn’t use anymore, because the people he knew with high CHA that used it did so to do bad things. Liam thinks when Caleb was young he was very gifted, charming, and attracted people to him; now it’s all gone. He can hold it together like a sandcastle by the tide for an hour, but in the end it always washes away.

On Nott speaking for the group: Marisha always likes hearing Sam talk. In some ways Marisha felt it was the same thing she used to get for Keyleth-- "why are you talking? You shouldn’t be talking. You shouldn’t be the talker.” Everyone should have their own voice, regardless of the scores on the page. “Your stats are there to influence the effects of what happens; they’re not the Bible. They’re not law.” She reminds us Vex once entered an arm-wrestling contest with a strength of 7.

How does Beau feel now that Caleb’s made another huge decision without consulting the rest of the M9 (i.e. Bowlgate)? It’ll play out in game. It’s a big deal. Liam admits he loves it. “The whole point is conflict resolution, so you need conflict.” He loves things like this, like the Astrid letter, because it opens opportunities to explore characters. In some ways it’s the same thing: they were in an impossible situation and Caleb sees it as protecting his friends, but that’s not how it read to anyone else. Marisha points out that once again he made himself the authority to make this huge decision without discussing it with anyone else in the group.

Marisha and Liam start talking about the decision more, decide it should wait for the game, but then keep talking despite themselves. Marisha points out that on top of his (once-again) unilateral decision, his speech was also framed selfishly (”I did this thing, I brought this back to you,”). To her, it still feels like the same thing with Caleb deciding things with major consequences for the rest of the group without their input, though she admits it’s colored by their (Beau’s & Caleb’s) history. Liam talks about how in the moment he was scared of deception checks, so he just tried to be as truthful as possible--nothing he said was false because he was only speaking for himself. He could not have spoken for the group & still been truthful. It’s a really interesting dichotomous discussion, both of them talking about what they felt in the moment versus how it came across to everyone else.

Liam feels it’s more like seeing someone dying in front of them & wasting time discussing whether they should do CPR or not, rather than him making decisions for the whole group. Marisha’s face obviously disagrees (so do I, ahaha). Liam also thought they were going to continue the episode & talk more, which would have kept it from being as much about him. This is gonna be super interesting when it actually plays out, for sure.

Once again, no new CR this Thursday or TM next Tuesday. Most of the rest of the programming will stay the same. This Tuesday’s Mame Drop will feature Max James of CR production fame.

We end on this eldritch horror:

"Weuuuh, Caleb knows best! Caleb will make the decisions for all of us in this D&D game!”

Aaand we’re out. Stay turnt.

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

If no one else has asked yet, I’d love to see your responses to the cartoon/anime ask thingy for Ducktales. (and maybe Carmen if you’re feeling it)

*rubs my lesbian hands together* OK HERE WE GO!

Ducktales

haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation

fav characters: God ik he’s more of a dwd character but Drake Mallard all the way. Also Dellaleast fav characters: M*rk B**ks lmaoofav relationship: god what relationships dont i like theres so many great friendships and theyre all such a big family i cannot pick. romantically tho...drakepad lmaofav moment: literally the entirety of the duck knight returns! every time i watch it i get WAY excited. the first time i watched i was basically hyperventilating from when the fire starts to the end w Negaduck’s reveal :3headcanons/theories: I’m really into the theory that Gyro was apart of F.O.W.L but left. he still struggles w that upbringing and it comes about in his bots.unpopular opinion: its a lot easier to get into than the original imohow’d you find it: the first thing i saw of the show was the gif below 

and it was just so funny to me! but i dont think i watched it until i saw that one clip from the golf episode

random thoughts: Its honestly one of the best shows out there right now. there i said it.

Carmen Sandiego

haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation

fav characters: Really love Carmen and Julia. Also Professor Bellum bc i’m big lesbian.least fav characters: probably chase but he can be funny comedic relief fav relationship: tbh i love the sister brother relationship between carmen and player (i hope they meet soon!). also caruliafav moment: tbh the fight scenes are always really fun to meheadcanons/theories: when gray gets his memory back he decides not to return to vile and instead helps his lil sis out!unpopular opinion: probably not unpopular but the cut ins to explain a place can get a lil on my nerveshow’d you find it: ok i think i actually didnt see this on tumblr first? i think i saw it as a preview on netflix and it looked interestingrandom thoughts: it’s really good if you can look past the random education drops!

Thanks for the ask!!

[onlykadi]

I've been following kaisoo since the end of 2018 and I get a bit confused at times. I do not know if they're friends or boyfriends. I have no idea how Korean men behave in a friendship or courtship.What moments did you realize that they are not just friends?I heard comments about a secret apartment, is this true and what is the basis?

Well, welcome to the world of KD! It’s normal to be confused, especially when you’re new to something. If you want my honest answer, I don’t know if they’re boyfriends or friends either, because they haven’t said they’re more than friends and I’m not a part of their inner circle. However, I do have my own opinion based on observation, and applying the knowledge I’ve gained over my many years on this earth to what I’m seeing with them (in other words I’m old and have seen a lot). 

I’m no expert on Korean culture, but I do know a bit since I’ve been into kpop for almost 15 years. For sure, Korean men can show more affection to each other, in a purely platonic way, than men in the Western world. Western sensibilities are essentially paranoid about male/male affection. So much so that any type of affection shown is automatically seen as gay. Thankfully I think that’s slowly changing. In Korea, however, males can show all kinds of affection without it automatically seeming gay. I think that’s because culturally they believe (older generations anyway) that homosexuality is a Western ‘problem’ that doesn’t exist in Korea. And if it doesn’t exist, then there’s no reason to worry about what male/male affection might mean. I do think they are wising up, and the younger generation is more aware, so they are making strides in becoming more accepting. Even when taking into account the acceptability of male/male affection in Korea, my conclusion is still that kd are more than friends. And every time I try to talk myself out of that opinion, I remember those things I just can’t pass off as platonic.

For the secret apartment theory, some believe they live together in their own apartment, but it’s possible they have their own individual apartments where they can spend time with each other as well. I’m sure they still use the dorms when it’s convenient, but I don’t believe that’s where their primary living spaces are. You can read lots of theories online, but here are a couple of posts to check out. x x 

It’s funny that you ask what moments led me to believe they are more than friends, because I’ve had a post in my drafts for a while on just that subject. Of course it’s not finished, so I never posted it. I don’t make gifs, and I’m not going to steal anyone else’s, so the best I can do is link you to some posts that cover those moments. I’m going to put those under the cut. I apologize it’s not as complete as I’d like.

1. The Asian Idol Awards. On that night KD were on fire! They sat next to each other and we  are blessed to have fancams from different angles. JI moving his chair closer to KS, and then play footsie with him, KS rubbing JI’s finger in a very suggestive way, JD teasing JI by touching KS’s thigh, KS whispering intimately to JI, them feeling each other’s hair, JI taking a peek at KS’s chest as he slightly opens his vest, and generally just being all about each other. 

2. The fact that JI and KS were both aroused on stage at the same time while dancing, and another time when KS was aroused he pulled JI over to sit on his lap (to hide it). 

3.  Pre-debut pics showing them being very close, and one of those pics showing KS lying on top of JI. 

4. How many times they mention love in relation to each other. JI saying he loves KS over and over, and KS also saying it in his own way. Sorry I didn’t find posts for this, but they’re out there!

5. And pretty much moments like these, where the eyes say so much. x x

There are MANY more moments. I could fill this post up with hundreds of moments. But I just don’t have the time. My cats are walking on my keyboard and yelling at me to play! Haha, they really don’t let me live! Also, I’m really not the best person to ask about kd because I don’t save stuff or organize them in any meaningful way, so I just have to go looking for them. I’m sorry I’m not able to link you to as much as I’d like. I’d suggest checking out @lovekadi for tons of great gif sets of their moments over the years, as well as @softkadi. If you like discussion of what’s going on, check out @soofection. There are way better kd blogs out there than me, and they can probably do a better job in giving you information. I enjoyed answering your ask though! I hope you keep loving and supporting these two amazing men! 💜 

[one-true-houselight]

It’s me, doing stand up!

I cut out the spelling of my name for privacy reasons. Also, the bit that’s cut off the the end is just me saying that I never went skiing again, and that now I just do safe things, like trying to enter the adult job market. 

Transcript under the cut, and if you are so inclined, my Ko-Fi is in my bio. Thanks!

Hello everyone, I am Erika, and tonight I will be performing All Star by Smash Mouth.

I’m kidding, no one would want to hear that. I cannot sing.

(from the crowd: I would!)

(laughter) You don’t want to hear me sing, I promise you.

Alright! Hi! In actuality, I am Erika (last name, pronounced ko-kek), and you’re like ‘ooh, we get a last name now, a mystery, and you’re like it’s an interesting last name too!’ That’s probably because you’ve never seen it spelled out. Let me walk you through my last name (ko-kek), alright, are you ready for this, are you ready: [redacted spelling]. Yeah! Four Ks! That’s a lot of Ks, and they’re in a real strange order. If you- if you noticed, uh, it’s the same set of four letters twice, it’s [redacted spelling] but you may have also noticed that’s not how it’s pronounced! Cuz you know, that would make sense. This is apparently from, like, changes in immigration, that you know happen, which, this is according to my uncle. But my grandfather, who lived in the Netherlands in the 40s (yeah, those 40s), pronounces it like Ko-Kek, so I’m inclined to believe him.

Now, having a weird last name in school is always kind of a crazy existence, though I will say, most of the time when people are like ‘oh, that’s a weird last name’, it’s because people are racist, or at the very least are being like  ‘oh, I’m gonna put Western Expectations on things that shouldn’t have them’, but as you see, my last name, is Dutch, as I mentioned, and Dutch white people, which I am one of, have done some incredibly awful things, so I don’t feel bad mocking it. So we continue on. So, this, so with my last name in roll call, we could change my last name to [silence] and it would sound the same. Let me, let me walk you through…Let me walk you through a roll call, so like the teacher’s up here, and they’re like ‘Alright, let’s see…we have Ferris Beuller? Oh you showed up, very good, alright. Harry Potter? Oh, you didn’t die, that’s fantastic. And then, Erika…[long silence]. And I’m just over here like ‘oh yeah that’s me, hi.’ Now sometimes, I like to speed it up, and rather than say here or present or anything, I’ll just say my last name (Ko-kek) to like, speed up the conversation so it’s not like, uh, Erika, long pause, here, oh, how do you pronounce that?, Ko-kek, it just speeds up the process. So, I’ll go, they’ll go Erika… and I’ll say (Ko-kek). The problem is they’ll get confused sometimes. They’ll look at me and they’ll go ‘Oh, is that here in Dutch?’ No. But you did your best.

And not only does my last name have enough Ks to stop a substitute teacher dead in their tracks, my first name? Erika? Also with a K. My sibling is Kat with a K, my mother is Karolyn with a K, though that’s not her fault, she kind of like, came into it and was like ‘oh, I guess this works out’. And my father…is Doug. But, but, he has a middle name that’s very strange and has a K in it so it all works out, it’s fine. So, if you’re ever like reading something, and you’re looking at it and you’re like ‘huh, there should be a K in this word’, it probably wasn’t a typo, my family just needed to name another child and just like, stole it.

So, I do have to say I’m Erika with a K a lot, because most people will assume it’s with a C. Or, more recently, two Ks. Which is kind of fun, but it’s also at the same time like ‘I’m drowning in Ks, please don’t give me more!’ But no, so I say Erika with a K a lot, which means I realized something really really cool. That rhymes with Erika with a They! These are the puns the queer community was built upon.

I do use they/them pronouns, and I even wear a little tag for it, it’s right here, it’s very nice. Um, and, it’s just kind of weird sometimes, because people will sometimes not use my pronouns, which kinda makes me sad. But I’ve realized something. I was just assuming they were reading the tag and just being rude about it. But recently, I’ve realized that they’re just not reading the tag. The way I’ve realized this is I’ll be like, walking through Target, and someone will be, like, looking around, and they’ll see me and they’ll see the tag and go ‘A ha! A worker!’ And they’ll be like ‘Do you know where the towels are?’ And this is very strange for me, mostly because I know where the towels are. So I’ll go ‘Ok, they’re over there in that corner, but I don’t work here, please.’ And, and they’re like ‘Oh, I just assumed you did because of your name tag.’ Now there’s a couple of problems with that. My ‘name tag’, as they put it, doesn’t have a name on it, which means they clearly didn’t read it. The other big problem with it is that most stores or places of business have a sense of decorum, or at least consistency in their design. My tag, on the other hand, while I love it very much, how do I put this, it doesn’t look good. It looks like if an eight year old magpie with attention issues made it at summer camp. This is basically how the making of my tag went: I’m was just sitting there and I’m like ‘Alright, I’m gonna put five shiny things on it. Wonderful, wonderful, this random piece of gaff tape? That has to go on, that’s, like, that’s key to the whole pronoun tag process. Now, for the words. And I start writing, I’m like ‘they/them and-’ oh my god. What if I could fit more shiny things on it? I’m still writing, I don’t know what I’m writing at this point, it doesn’t look good. Oh, I could put more shiny things on it, maybe I could like, steal a rock and somehow affix that to it…And then I look down and I’m like ‘oh, I finished the words, guess I’m gonna just put it on my shirt!’ And it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine. So, a lot of people don’t read the tag, but a lot of people do, and I have a lot of wonderful friends and family who support me very much.

Though, being openly trans can be, can get a little confusing sometimes. Sometimes I’ll tell stories about being in the Girl Scouts, and be like ‘Ha, that’s funny for obvious reasons!’ and people will be like, ‘oh, it’s the girl thing!’, and I’ll be like ‘no!’. Because the Girl Scouts are actually super cool about trans girls and non binary kids, which we appreciate very much, especially because it gives us a very good reason to buy Girl Scout cookies, beyond just buying something to fill the hole in your heart.

Crowd: support the gays!

Exactly! But no, the weird part about it for me is the scout part. Let me tell you a story. So one time when I was sixteen years old, I was a camp counselor for a bunch of small children, and we went to a playground one time. So I’m wandering around, like you do, like making sure the children don’t like, die, and I see two girls sitting under a tree, and they’re doing the whole, like,  ‘rub two sticks together to start a fire’ thing. So I go ‘I’m gonna wander over and see how they’re doing’, and I’m like ‘How’re you doing, kids?’ And they look at me and they’re like ‘Erika? Why do you rub two sticks together to start a fire?’ and I’m like ‘Well, that’s a very interesting question, so you see, there’s a fire triangle, and the fire triangle has heat, fuel, and oxygen, and you have to have all three because fire is just adding oxygen-‘ And I just go on this like, five minute tangent about, like, talking about the science of fire, and you’re probably sitting there thinking like. Erika, explaining how fire works is like, the most scout thing you can do, and normally I would agree with you. Except. I talked for five minutes about the ins and outs of fire science, and neglected to mention fire safety. So I realize this, and I’m like ‘oh no, I’m going to start a wildfire by proxy’, so I just start yelling fire safety tips with absolutely no context. So I’m like, ‘You need a bucket of sand!’, I didn’t tell them why they needed the sand, I just said you needed one, and I’m like ‘build a circle of rocks on the ground!’, and they’re just gonna do that and go ‘I can build fires for the rest of my life, perfect!’ And then I’m sitting there, so like, another counselor is walking behind me like ‘two minutes left’, I’m like ‘Oh no, I have two minutes to like, save my entire town’, and I’m like ‘You should probably have an adult present’, and then I realize I probably should have mentioned that first, and I was like, ‘alright, just imagine I said adult present first, and just, and then put everything else, remember everything else, but remember adult first, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.’ So, luckily, my town has not had any reports of wildfires. But suffice it to say, I am not exactly scout material.

I am going to finish out the night by telling you a story from my scouting days. I was about eight years old, and we went on a ski trip. Now, let me tell you a little thing about eight year old Erika. You may have noticed that up here as a 20 year old, I’m a little bit lanky, my limbs do weird things as I run about the stage like an excited golden retriever. But see, I’m like, at a controllable lanky now. When I was eight, I was just gangly. My limbs just changed like, lengths every day, sometimes by multiple feet. So I’d be like, walking along, and I’d like just, kick a doorway, or like I’d be sitting and raising my hand, you know how like, you sometimes hit your hand on your desk, and you did it like, once a month? I did it twice a day. And people would be like, ‘Erika why do you keep hitting your hand on the desk?’ and I’m like ‘Cause my hand wasn’t there before! It was over here, I don’t know what’s happening!’ It was like I was living in a world of cartoon physics that I didn’t have control over. So I’m just like, ‘I guess I’m walking and my arms over here now, great!’ So my scouting troop looked at this, and was like ‘you know I think would be a great idea to do to this tiny, eight year old, whatever this is? We’re gonna stick a piece of wood, long, skinny, really slippery piece of wood on each of their feet, and then we’re gonna push them down a mountain.’ So, uh, you can probably tell where this story is going.

So, we get to the mountain, and I have my skis, we had to like, wait in a really long line, and I’m like, ‘oh, I’m so excited to go skiing’. So I’m walking around and I’m like, ‘alright, this is very exciting’, I see there’s a ski lesson about to start, and I’m like ‘I should probably do that because I want to make sure I know what’s going on’, so if you’ve never been skiing before, here’s what a skiing lesson is. You have a large group of people that want to learn how to ski, and you have a very excited person ready to tell you about skiing. So, you all go with them, you walk sideways up the mountain because you know, whatever. And the person, the very enthusiastic person, tells you a lot of really good skiing tips, and I, an eight year old with undiagnosed ADHD, sat there, and uh, kind of cycled between looking at the person, watching their mouth move, and having my audio processing like, on the ski lift, OR, I would be watching them, and a skier would go by, and I would watch the skier and be like, ‘oh, maybe I can pick up some tips from the skier’, absolutely ignoring the person that’s just giving me the tips for free. So I did not pick up a lot of good ski tips, but I did pick up one, and this is, this is, I will always remember this. He was like ‘alright, if you’re going down the mountain, and you want to slow down or stop, you make a triangle with your skis.’ And so I was like ‘alright, I’ve got it. I make a triangle with my skis to go slow, great, fantastic.’ So then, I’m like, ‘alright. I know everything there is to know about skiing. It is time to get started.’

So the first time I fell a lot, which, you know, of course you fall a lot, it’s you first time, and like, who knows what skiing is. The second time I also fell a lot and you know, I’m still getting the hang of it. Third time, also fell a lot, but you know, it’s fine. I’m just going to like, skip to the end, because I fell most of the times. It was less of me skiing down the mountain, and more of me just falling over and over again until I reached the bottom. But then, the last run of the day, I’m like ‘alright, I’m gonna do this’, I get about three quarters of the way down the mountain and I haven’t fallen once. And I’m just sitting there like ‘oh my god, I’m the skiing master. Oh my god, I’m gonna go to the Olympics. It’s gonna be great.’ So I am, I’m going down the mountain and, if don’t know if you know this about physics, because I wasn’t stopping and starting by just falling down constantly, I actually picked up a little bit of speed, which was really nice. But at this point, I was going a little bit faster than I intended to go, and I was like, ‘Huh. I kind of want to slow down now’, so I go into the little card catalogue that is my mind and I’m like ‘a ha! Triangle equals slow! Perfect!’ So I, I look down at my skis because I want to make sure I’m doing it right,  and I’m like ‘alright, ready, here we go. Triangle.’ And nothing happened. Now the problem with this is, is that I was eight, and didn’t have critical thinking skills. So I looked at this situation, and I said, ‘huh. This triangle is not working. But it’s the only thing I know about skiing, and since I am a skiing master and know everything, this can be the only solution.’ So I double down on the triangle.

Now here’s the thing. I tell this story a lot, and one time I was telling it and I got to this part, and my friend looked at me and said the following: ‘You were doing the wrong kind of triangle!’ Which is a baffling thing to have yelled at you. So I was sitting there like ‘what are you ta- Was I doing an isosceles? Should I have been doing a scalene? Like, did you want me to yell the pythagorean theorem at it? I don’t know what you’re telling me!’ So she could not explain it, so we moved on. So then I told this story again, and another set of friends was like ‘Erika. She meant you had to do a triangle like this.’ And I was like, ‘oh, because that would actually stop the, oooooh.’ So now, twelve years after this story happened, I now know how to ski. So that’s cool, but back to me being eight years old.

At this point, I am going even faster than before, somehow, going much faster than any eight year old pile of limbs should ever be going, and I go ‘this is bad, I can no longer, uh, control which direction I’m going’, which is bad because I’m heading right for a circle of snowboarders. And so I’m I’m, I’m like, trying to turn and I can’t and I’m like ‘oh no’, so I just kind of look up at them, because I am approaching them at quite a speed, and I just start screaming, ‘HEY! YOU GOTTA MOVE! I CAN’T STEER!’ So they look up at just this banshee shriek from up the mountain, and they go, ‘huh. we should move,’ and they do, as well as they can, because they only have one piece of wood instead of the two that I was privileged to have. But they manage to make it out of the way, and I don’t hit anyone, and I continue down the mountain.

At this point, I literally, like, sit down on my skis and dig my hands into the snow in an attempt to stop myself, which works slightly better than the triangle, which isn’t saying much. So at this point, I have basically reached the bottom of the mountain, and I have reached, and at the bottom of the mountain there was a straight-away, and at the end of the straight-away there was a barrier of snow. Now the barrier of snow was about one, one and a half feet. The straight-away…I’m not really good with distances, but it was at least two feet, we’ll go with that. So I reach the straight-away, and I look up for this at least two foot distance. And I see this barrier of snow and I’m like ‘Ah. Here’s where my journey will come to an end.’

So I’m heading down this straight-away, I’m slowly slowing down, but I’m still going at quite a speed, and I’m like, ‘oh, it’ll be a little bit of an impact, but it’ll be fine.’ So here’s what happens. Here’s the barrier of snow, here’s me, here I go. Wheeeeee. And I hit the barrier of snow. And I go up and I go over it into the super secret special hill that they don’t show anyone, because it’s covered in bushes, and rocks, and leads to the parking lot.

So, at this point, I am now somersaulting down the hill, you know, fun times, and I’m grabbing bushes, I am desperately trying to like, not die, and at this point, I decide, I’m like ‘you know what would be a good, you know what would be good at this time? A flashback of my life.’ So my life flashes before my eyes, and it finishes I’m like ‘huh. That didn’t last as long as I thought it would.’ So I’m tumbling, and I’m just like ‘I’m gonna die! It’s fine!’ So I reach the bottom, and I kind of sit there and I take stock of everything, and I look around and I’m like, ‘Hey. I’m alive. I just wasted a life flashback, do you know how expensive that it?’ So I’m sitting there, and then I realize something. I realize that in my current state I cannot move because all of my limbs that change size all the time are tangled together. And I can’t get out of my limbs because my arm is so that like, I would have to hook it around my foot, but my foot is currently eight feet long because there’s a ski attached to it. So I’m-You know those like, Cracker Barrel things, the like, little metal puzzles that you play with for five minutes then give up because you want to play the peg game? I looked like one of those.

So I go into my mental autopsy, which you know, all eight year olds with anxiety have, and I go ‘we’re gonna just change the cause of death to…starvation.’ Which was very very silly, of course, because I would of died of thirst before I died of starvation. So I’m laying there, waiting for my eventual fate, and I look up into the parking lot I landed next to, and I see two guys walking towards me. And I go ‘huh. Interesting,’ and I go back to my mental autopsy, and I recross out starvation, and write ‘murdered in the snow, while tangled in my own limbs.’ So I’m just like, ‘there’s nothing I can do’, so I just kind of look at them, and they’re looking at me.

Luckily for me though, they were just coming over to help, because from their perspective, they had just seen a screaming ball of just, extremities, shoot over the barrier, tumble down a mountain, and then just lie there motionless for a while. So they walk over, and they’re very nice, they help me out of my skis, and they’re like ‘Do you, do you need to go into the lodge?’ and I’m like ‘Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.’ So I, so they walk me into the lodge and we find my mother who’s there, hello, hi mom, and, and she’s like ‘what happened?’ And I’m like ‘I don’t know.’

[missjackil]

My 14x13 Opinion

Lebanon The 300th Episode

I am so proud of this episode and so blown away by how awesome these last 4 episodes have been! Might be an unpopular opinion guys but I really like this season! Sure its had some duds like Optimism and The Scar (Though The Scar had a great broment) but I thought we’d be getting Leader!Sam this season but we have emotionally wrecked!Sam instead, and Im here for that! Needless to say I LOVED this episode, I was so pleased with pretty much everything and I have no big complaints, so lets have at it! I enjoyed the lightness of the beginning, and getting a look at the town. Im so pleased they FINALLY noted that Lebanon KS is the geographical center of the country! So the boys can get anywhere in the country within a day and a half. Its kinda weird though that Lebanon seems to have 3 different post offices. The one from Something About Mary, the one from The Spear, and now this one. LOL thats no big deal so lets move along. 

It was funny that the dude in the pawn shop committed suicide by Winchester, which of course is trying to, or successfully killing one gets you killed by the other, and Dean acknowledges that they all talk too much LOL.

The kids talking about the rumors about the boys was fun but I really wasnt impressed by “cool chick” Max. I liked the boy in the hat though, he was great. Stealing Baby is also suicide by Winchester but Sam and Dean dont go around killing teenagers so, they got lucky. 

I was amuzed by the ghost of John Wayne Gacey clown, and Dean being all “You love serial killers but hate clowns!” and Sam being like “I get it Dean” but Im really glad they didnt make Sam act like he was scared like the other times before. It just wouldnt have fit well into this episode I dont think. Saving Dean is more urgent than a clown fear right? 

Moving on to the meat, and this was as meaty as an episode can get! Dad comes because Dean makes a wish. It seems Dean’s desire to have his family together is more of a desire than getting ole Mike out of his head, and thats really pretty sweet. Dad recognizes the boys right away, which is cool especially since Sam looks NOTHING like he did back in 05, let alone 03 but John says “What happened to you?” I reckon they aged 15+ yrs Pops!

The boys give Dad the nutshell version of their lives over shots of whiskey, because, how else could you do it? But man, John’s face when he hears Mary’s voice was amazing! And I dont even like Mary but, good lord if she didnt nail these scenes!  My hear crumbled, their reunion kiss was completely believable even though we never saw them kiss on the show before. I saw some of you whine that John didnt ask permission first... really? I could see if they were gonna have sex, but when does anyone on TV ever ask to kiss someone?? Not very often. It was by far the most romantic thing Ive ever seen on this show, 

Like typical Winchesters, Dean is sucked into whats right before him and Sam is worried about the big picture. But Sam doesnt lean too hard on Dean about it, lets all have the nice family dinner we’ve never had. 

While compiling a shopping list with Mom, Dean leaves Sam alone with Dad. This scene was .... WOW... so well written and brilliantly acted. I had been wondering how Sam and John would hash things out and this was so much better than I invisioned. Its so in character for the Sam we have watched grow over the last 14 years to get over the bad and focus on the good, because those you love can be taken away in a heartbeat and being left with hard feelings is the worst. All he can think of is seeing Dad dead on the floor and he never got to say goodbye. and he never got to smooth things over. Sams emotions were raw and real! Jared really let Sam feel it, all the regret and anger and loneliness, melts away and turns into “but you loved us.... and thats enough” It was so refreshing to get so much emotional POV from Sam. Something we;ve gotten more of this season than we ever have. It hurts like a mother... but its worth it. 

After the heart shattering talk, Sam composes himself and tells Dean hes right. This was a good thing even if its jut temporary. He asks Dean if he wants company for shopping, and this is like Sam wanting to hold on to his rock (Dean). This is precious.

The boys leave Mom and Dad alone, and go shopping. Now we discover that the timeline has shifted and they have alternate selves. Dean is a wanted criminal and Sam, omg lol Sam is flaming TED talking douchebag that wears turtlenecks, loves Kale, doesnt drink coffee, and doesnt see the need for hobbies or family. But, I gotta say hes lovely in glasses 😎

This inevitably means that not only will Mom disappear, but the boys wont have the relationship they do, and we know, thats a fate worse than the universe exploding. Meanwhile we get a guest appearance by Zachariah and Cas, and Cas is back to S4-ish Cas and possibly even more of a dick. Sam and Dean find them as theyre about to kill the teenagers from earlier and save them. Cas of course doesnt know them from Adam but Zach does. A fight ensues and I just have to state very clearly that Dean went after cas with the angel blade with no second thoughts. Zach attacks Sam and tries to kill him, but Sam kills him instead. Now thats poetic to have been killed by both Winchesters at different times! 

Now Cas is trying to kil Sam, which as we know, never goes over well with Dean, but Cas really nails Sam HARD in the face and Sam spews blood all over! That was pretty graphic and dramatic! Well full strength douchebag angel or not, Dean doesnt let you beat on Sam. so heattacks Cas, and Cas is about to kill Dean. There is no “Cas its me!! Fight this!! I love you!!” like all the hellers wanted and predicted LMAO instead Sam writes a sigil with his blood and zaps Cas away.

Back at home, yet another highly emotional scene as Sam tells Mom why they have to let Dad go... she would just fade away and they would become their “other” selves. Mary cries real tears. and Sam overflows again. God my heart!! Dean talks to Dad and Dad is more than willing to lay his life down for Mom. They all sit solomly at the dinner table. Oddly enough Sam is the only one eating, and Im sure theres meta in there somewhere.... all I can think of at the moment is that hes distracting himself from the painful slence, and hes the only one who never really had Winchester Surprise. John decides to lighten the mood and be grateful for this time, and they all follow suit. And it was glorious!! My boys laughing and eating and enjoying themselves with mom and dad, I just dont know what words to give this scene! 

Afterwards, Sam and Dean are washing dishes together #husbros and they briefly discuss keeping it the way it is. I mean really.... Mom may disappear and they wont be insanely co-dependent, but Michael wont be in Dean’s head anymore, because nothing leading up to it would have ever happened. Dean says hes good with who he is, and hes good with who Sam is, and hes just too old to want to change it. 

The farewell scene was nothing less than earth shattering painful. Dean was surprisingly calm and stoic, though he had many tears. It was as if on purpose, he let Sam and Mom have all the emotions. John hugs his sons one last time. and tells them he’s so proud of them, Poor Sam is gutted. He cant even pretend he isnt crying. Dad tells them he loves them. Dean says he loves him too. Sam cant get words out so he wipes his face and nods. In a beautiful paralell from the old days when John told Dean “Take care of Sammy” and Dean answers “I always do” John says “Take care of each other” and Sam answers “We always do”😭😭😭😭😭😭John takes Mary’s hand and Sam in obvious pain crushes the pearl and Dad fades away. He wakes up in Baby back in 2003 believing he had a good dream. 

Now we have to wait a freakin month for the next episode. But Ill be ok. I think I need a break from all the emotions of the last several episodes because the next couple will probably be less dramatic. This is ok, if every episode was this emotional, even that would get old fast. We only have 7 episodes left and I dont want to rush to the end of the season for a freakin 6 month hiatus!! AGGGHHHHH!! 

Overall I am in love with this episode. It may have moved itself into first place but it has at least tied. This episode definitely met and exceeded my expectations, and last week I thought it wouldnt be able to beat that one. Im so proud of SPN, the writers, and the cast of this episode Ill give them all a standing ovation 👏👏👏👏👍💖 I think its abundantly clear now that Dabb DOES care about the brother bond and doesnt give a rats ass about dean/cas in fact it looks as if the next few episodes might be Dean lite... but we never really know till we watch the episodes.

In conclusion. on a scale from Bloodlines to Who We Are, Lebanon is a 10. Well done show.... well done! Now onward to the 400th episode!!

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

One Punch Man 13 (S2 Ep 1) | Afterlost 1 | RobiHachi 1 | Kimetsu no Yaiba 2 - 3 | BSD 25 - 26 (S3 Eps 1 - 2) | King of Prism - Shiny 7 Stars 1 | Shield Hero 14 - 16 | Double Decker! EX 3 | Sarazanmai 2

The shows that have made it this season will be getting their tags...soon. Because I fell behind early in the season, trying to read ahead is nastier than it really should be...

Update: I forgot to roll out the tags...! Sorry about that.

One Punch Man 2 1

This season’s name…sounds counterintuitive, to say the least.

I love how Genos is carrying a box of hijiki (which looks like hair) and Saitama’s wearing a shirt that says “hair” (in kanji) all over it. It’s funny for a bald man and his “work of modern art”.

I never knew Genos was so blunt. Maybe because the last season was a good 2 – 3 years ago…and was by Madhouse and Shingo Natsume, and so this feels slightly different.

Oh, Sonic…! I didn’t realise how much I missed you! (Not to mention, you look hot with the off-the-shoulder shirt, y’know?)

“Enoki” is a type of mushroom.

Oh, Garou!...Oh wait, there isn’t much more of the episode left, is there…?

Afterlost 1

Oh great…this is the second time the subs don’t work on my device of choice. Then again, it seems to be a problem with the ad blocker and not the video…Okay, fiddling with the ad blocker worked.

Let’s play Spot the Main Character Amongst All the CGI Guys! Yay! (obviously sarcastic)

Without the volume…this OP is, to not put it lightly, s***.

Shoumetsu means “extinction”, not “lost”.

And the reward for Jankiest CGI this season belongs to…

Okay…this is stupid…if it f**ks up even more, I’m out of here!

I know the horned owl is your mascot, but that doesn’t mean you needed a real owl.

Waittttttttt…how did the scientists know Yuki’s father was responsible for this stuff anyway?

I feel like Takuya was shoehorned in. I mean, there’s a better example of this character type in Naofumi (Shield Hero).

This guy’s name, as we know it, is Geek. Wow (sarcastic). Also, I find it funny Takuya has a “ta” on his licence plate.

“…she’s just a package.” - Welp, you don’t get any more blatant than that for female denigration! I think Anime Feminist had a field day with this one.

Come to think of it, I saw some helmets back at Geek’s place but Takuya never seems to use one…

You had one job, Takuya…*sigh*

I swear I said a few previews ago I don’t like 1st person cam…no one ever listens to me, do they???

Not dis shitto agen!

Okay, enough complaining. It seems Yu-no wasn’t bad enough, so they had to produce something like the Chaos Dragon and Seisen Cerberus of old…

RobiHachi 1

It’s Takamatsu being Takamatsu again. Also… I forgot to mention this earlier, but…Taiga Umatani seems to be related to Kurari Umatani (who is credited for Boueibu), so…I wonder if it’s a collective writer’s name for Studio Comet, like Izumi Todo for Toei? The only thing that goes against that is the fact “Kurari” existed during the Diomedea days of Boueibu. Also Isekandar seems to be related to Yamato’s Iscandar (which Takamatsu seems to like, based on the fact he once used Matsumoto metres as a shorthand for being in space). If you don’t understand, Yamato’s endgoal contains a place called Iscandar and that’s by Leiji Matsumoto.

Okayyyyy…what are these rabbit creatures…? But yes, it does smack of Boueibu simply because the episode layout’s the same.

Hmm…? So Robby seems be En (the do-nothing life) in spirit, but Kinshiro in background, but also he runs away from his fortune. “Hmm” indeed.

Oh! That’s what this string of misfortunes reminds me of! The monsters of the day from Boueibu.

Acrymalide.

Hatchi is a Kinshiro in looks but an Atsushi by being a goody-goody.

Hmm…they actually bother to show girls now…apparently Takamatsu went to a boys-only school, which is why his original works focus on dudes (as in, you can pick out when Takamatsu is adapting someone else’s work because it has a heavier focus on girls as supporting characters).

Mechs and spaceships are probably two of the only ways I accept CGI…and you, Takamatsu sir, have just done it (the latter)!

Aw! Lookit his (Hatchi’s) face light up like a Beppu’s! It’s cute!

Hatchi getting out the hatch…lame, but still somewhat effectve on me (because that’s my wordplay game you’re playing, Takamatsu…!).

LOL, it’s a transforming mech. It seems my words from a few comments earlier were basically foretelling the future.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 2

Yikes, “Sakonji Urokodaki” has a lot of strokes…

My Little Sister Lives For Headpats…hey wait, don’t all anime kid sisters do that(?)

For some reason, I know the “Don’t Lose Your Way” meme from Kill la Kill and yet I’ve never…watched KlK…?(!)

I swore that was Giyu (it’s the haircut, I swear), but it’s a random demon…

When all you have is a hatchet…use your head. (LOL)

Ooh, nice eyecatch!

This is really black comedy, in a sense. (I remember this demon fight from the manga which is why I say that.)

Hmm…this wispy stuff wasn’t in the manga.

Come to think of it, I don’t know how Tanjiro got his scar…

If you squint really hard, you can see CGI Urokodaki and Tanjiro…

He probably has no footsteps because of his shoes. Or the fact he’s a ninja. Were there ninja in the Taisho era…? Update: Tanjiro has the same kind of shoes…oops.

Come to think of it, Daisuke from DN Angel had to dodge traps every day before he became Dark…(thinking of this because I reread the first volume of DN Angel recently)

Oh! Manga panel preview! That’s quite fun, really.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 3

I just really like how Tanjiro’s eyes grew larger with what was clearly resolution before he closed the door.

Why do the non-descript hunters look like Giyu too…?

I’ve never seen KnY so comedic…and that’s coming from someone who thought the Head Demon fight from last episode was funny.

Welp, this is…kinda interesting (<- says a fan of Touken Ranbu).

This letter writing…it reminds me of Kekkai Sensen somewhat.

This realistic water…it’s beautiful, but it looks like it came straight out of Niagara Falls. Is that…too realistic for anime?

“No matter…”

It’s a fox version of Speed of Sound Sonic! Then again, the real Sonic is around this season and probably won’t be happy about that comparison…

Is “that guy”…Giyu? Or the demon who slaughtered Tanjiro’s family?

Spider lilies! I didn’t mention it last time, but the symbolism of the spider lily makes the ED real cool.

Bungou Stray Dogs 26

I’v read the wiki page for Chuuya enough to know the next few eps involve the LN Fifteen, so even though I haven’t read a translation of the source material, I know some of the ins and outs of it already.

Ooh! Kitty! (If you’re a manga reader, you’ll know the cat’s significance.)

I think at this point in time, all viewers are used to Dazai’s bulls*** by now.

Is it just me…or did Bones use CGI for the city? It actually looks kind of good…! Sasuga Bones!

I have a fic that predates Fifteen and could be set in the same period (the fic’s vague enough that it could’ve been them at 15, 18 or even 12)…and basically the only thing I got wrong was the fact Chuuya doesn’t have his hat (because I wrote Chuuya as having his hat in the fic). Also, the banter is tenser than I imagined it, but that’s subjective and something only I, the fic writer, can compare.

I wonder who the yellow-tinted Ability holder is…? Update: That’s Randou. Spoke too soon.

There was a box in the subs…I wonder what symbol that might’ve been.

“…closest to the explosion.”

BSD 3 2

Oh, so that’s what Randou was for! I see now.

Chuuya may be OP, but he’s one heck of a fun character…also, he’s not as OP as Saitama, so…yeah.

Oh, the ED from last time is the OP. I should’ve known.

I like the almost storybook-style of this episode!

I thought Dazai was faking releasing the hostages…I was wrong.

Face-stealing aliens return! (They were around last ep too, I think, but they were harder to see then.)

Again, watch for the cat!

Well, with only one suspect (or 3, if you count the Sheep kids), it was quite easy to figure out one of them was behind it. I kind of suspected Randou, anyway, considering what I’ve learnt from all the mysteries I’ve read.

Because I was watching this episode with the volume down low (so I could hear the OP and ED), the volume really did work wonders for the plot this ep…!

King of Prism – Shiny 7 Stars 1

This is the final debut of the season, so basically how this and Shield Hero perform will decide what will stay and what will go. Oh, yeah…apparently this is the companion to a movie, but the movie and TV series have slightly different content.

This dude’s (the one at the very start’s) so grumpy.

…welp, I didn’t expect it to be that much CGI.

This chunk of exposition…makes me feel like I missed something. It was probably in the previous movies, come to think of it…

Basically, this is…uh, Makura no Danshi or Room Mate all over again??? I’m noping out of here…! Bye!

Shield Hero 14

I’m putting this on the chopping block…just so you know.

…uh, age gap romance? It’s hard to tell at this stage, but they (Filo and Melty) sure act like it is romance.

Welp, this survived the chopping block. “Raphtalia backstory” is a good enough reason to stick around for, isn’t it?

Double Decker! EX 3 (FINAL)

I always miss the OP when I’m not watching Double Decker, but I miss the ED even more…

I can’t believe they tried to get away with a Spirited Away parody…!

I can’t believe I get to see Dr Apple all buttered up like this…

I love how Kirill is censoring himself. (At least he can prove he’s not a girl, unlike Valery/Milla, whose entire shtick is the confusion between genders.)

Oh! I think I know the answer to the case already! It was Kirill’s soap, so Doug is the “killer”. But then…why is it Derick, of all people???

LOL, the angles were so reminiscent of Detective Conan…

Underwear-stealing sextuplets…? Why does that kind of sound like Osomatsu-san…?

Ahh…I really am going to miss this ED. See you next time!

Shield Hero 15

I never thought Raphtalia would be so angry…that’s Naofumi’s job.

Okay…it’s the age-old question: do demis listen with their animal ears or their human ears? Do they even have human ears??? (That’s 2 questions, isn’t it…?)

Uh…CGI dinosaur, much?

Shield Hero 16

…and of course, the Queen is a loli. Of course (<-sarcastic).

“Why’d I even have to feed this KFC farm?” – LOL, but I wonder what it sounded like in Japanese…? (i.e. I didn’t listen to it and when I try to do that, there’s always something over the top of it…)

Sarazanmai 2

I wonder if I’ll ever get used to watching Ikuhara on a weekly basis…?

Kappamaki…geddit?

Wait…y’mean, Keppi’s breath smells like cucumbers? Uh…okay, TMI.

Enta’s Japanese house kind of looks like the one in Mawaru Penguindrum.

Wait…why does the Japanese word for “Fish Buffet” (Osakanazanmai) end in –zanmai? Does that mean Sarazanmai is…Dish Buffet?! (LOL)

Notably, one of the signs said “Union” in katakana. It must be an English play on words…y’know, trade union and union = connecting with each other? I’m surprisingly enjoying myself a lot with Sarazanmai, by the way. I didn’t think I would, but I am!

I think that might be Irohassu water. Or Dasani. I saw both those brands in Japan, but I don’t remember which had the green flowers.

Oh…my goodness! Nekoyama (Cat Mountain) Mokichi (written with kanji for “hair” and “luck”). It’s a Boueibu monster! Frick, I’m laughing too hard!

It’s very small and very thin, but the word next to the cat in the eyecatch is neko.

“…Meow God!” – It’s a pun on “Oh, My God!” but with a “meow” in it. It’s pretty forced, but it does get the nuance of the joke across…

Why the heck did the subbers choose “herb” as the word for weed in this? “Weed” is sufficient, right? Right…?

Well…if that spurt of water wasn’t symbolic…I don’t know what is.

The title translates better as “…but I want to steal”. Y’know, add a little force into it.

The two As and the “sara” below it seem to make a zombie face, huh?

Ooh, that ending…

[vaguely-concerned]

IN ANTICIPATION OF BIOWARE POTENTIALLY GIVING US A ROMANCE UPDATE IN THE FUTURE: MY PERSONAL ANTHEM ‘SHOULD YOU FUCK’s AS OF RIGHT NOW, ENORMOUS SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY

No really spoilers for Anthem you have been warned

Tassyn: I mean she reads a lot more mom to me, but I’ve seen people be into her so y’know if that floats your boat go ahead. Probably will regretfully yet efficiently murder you if necessary but hey some people are into that I’m not judging. 

Rythe: FUCK YEAH YOU SHOULD FUCK RYTHE! SEXY BAD CHOICES ALL AROUND!!!! *fingerguns*

Owen: Well I love him & would die for him even after the total bullshit he pulls, but to me he feels more like a fuckup little brother, in the grand tradition of Carver and Jowan. So for me personally that’s probably a no, but I can totally see why you would and I respect it. They played their hand too early with him b/c the pacing of the main story is completely off the rails, so I’d love to get more content for him anyway. He’s undeniably hilarious and desperate for affection and can be sweet but he’s also a walking over-caffeinated mess of abandonment issues, deflecting humour and spectacularly bad decisions; will absolutely stab you in the back but tbf you kind of treated him horribly. Even I have to admit that that slouch and slow grin when he sees you in the bar sure was Something, though I’m not entirely sure what. If you were one of those people who inexplicably wanted to kiss Wheatley, lo and behold your time has come.

I would say that if you haven’t previously engaged in the even grander Bioware tradition of getting screwed over in the non-sexy way by your love interest, ala Anders and Solas... step with caution, okay? (If you’ve been here before, seen this room and walked this floor -- you know what you’re doing, I’m not here to insult you by giving you advice like you’re not marching unflinchingly into hell with open eyes yet again, best of luck out there in the trenches comrade)

Dax: Oh hell yeah you should fuck Dax. Strong, beautiful, funny, driven, technically a princess and heir to the throne but so far along in the line of succession now that neither of you have to worry about getting assassinated, probably, will make you excellent and detailed maps one day. Good stuff.

Haluk: No he is my honorary uncle and mentor it would be super weird. He has beautiful eyes tho A fucking plus to Bioware’s art/animation team there

Faye: Also feels like family, like my sister or something, so no. She’s objectively the prettiest girl in the entire game, however, and super smart and kinder than her dumbass friends have any right to expect of her, so if I played a different character: totally.

Brin: ...idk I just sort of get the feeling she’s got other shit to do and wouldn’t welcome it? I’d be her fanfic beta reader tho, which is arguably a greater degree of intimacy anyway ETA: Apparently she’s ace, so definitely doubling down on betaing fic instead!

The Matthiases: Short answer: Probably yeah, if you feel so inclined, it’ll be fun if a bit of a mindfuck. Long answer: GOD PLEASE FUCK THE MATTHIASES, this is literally the reason I made this post, the mechanics of it alone! The Possibilities! Like how would it work? For Science if nothing else, people!

(I know the point of their arcs is kind of that they’re separate people now and romancing all three of them at once is probably not how that would work but honestly when has that ever stopped the smut brain? Never, of course, let’s go)

Do we check our calendars for when we can all manage to get together every time? Do we add the arcanist lady who Sumner could end up dating (of course we do the more the merrier when we’ve let it get to this point)? Do you pick one to fit your mood that day -- Matti for days when you need someone who sounds a little stoned to tenderly look you in the eyes and earnestly tell you you’re a wonderful person, Sumner for rough satisfying stuff but also he can be kind of adorbs?, Erryl for when you want to try some technically challenging kama sutra shit but don’t feel like chatting about feelings? (you know there are books about it in the Anthem universe too and you know he’s always up for an experiment) Would you just pick and mix and would they be chill with that?

Have the three of them together ever, you know. I mean, they live together. They conceivably share a bedroom. They must have -- surely, they’ve at least tried... right? At least once.There’s no way they haven’t. Right? To satisfy Erryl’s intellectual curiosity, if nothing else? Well, it’s something to consider. Fuck them, is what I’m saying, it’ll be an adventure and between the three of them they can give you the time and attention the original Matthias couldn’t b/c he was all arcanisty and self absorbed.  

The Monitor: You Monitor fuckers already know who you are and I’m perfectly aware that neither I nor the hand of god himself could stop you if we wanted to, godspeed you weirdos

Princess Zhim: She’s so beautiful I’m a bit weak in the knees but she made you eat a pheromone sack with disgusting sound effects the first time you met. I mean. If that’s your thing you’re welcome to but that’s a no thanks from me. 

Amal: Nah. He’s such a disastrous ditz he might like frame you for murder one day without even meaning to or realizing. Also the worst kind of actor -- working as a waiter for now until he gets his big break but just you wait one day he’ll be a star and uuuuuugh... listen if you can block out the inane prattle for long enough to enjoy his pretty face all the more power to you, but I don’t have that kind of strength of character

Lucky Jak: Sure, have fun! Boy looks good in a tight sweater and seems nice. ETA: Also actually now that I think about it he could & would totally do all your paperwork for you, literally the dream man, go forth and smooch at will

Kassian: Yes, for no other reason than that I literally thought ‘yeah I’d bang him’ the first time I saw him even though he’s wearing whatever the hell it is he’s wearing on his head, so that’s some serious magnetism he’s got going on there. A little bit of an ‘a freelancer can love a caravan sailor merchant person but where would they live’ situation if you go for a long term thing, but I’m sure you could work something out. “I’d like to kiss you”, “...KS?”, “Nope, that one’s totally true as long as you’d like that too”, honestly the dialogue writes itself

Marl: No. He’s already clearly having some sort of Situation with Gunther and honestly... leave them to it, nothing but madness lies this way

Pirndel: Eh it’ll be deeply unsatisfying, but I bet he practices extremely safe sex. Not the worst choice.

That married couple I can’t remember the names of right now but they’re both spies: They’ve already enough of an unexpected bizarre threesome angle going on and I’m not sure a non-spy is equipped for the mind games enough to not end up dead, let’s not 

Max: Well she also already has a wife, but you never know how they’ve got things arranged. Never hurts to ask.

Commander Vule: Very good voice. Handsome. Stern but fair-ish; you could roleplay by-the-book-cop vs. wild card detective and finally get to yell ‘but I get results, Chief’, maybe hand in your badge and gun while he glowers at you... You know yourself best, my friend, bang or not as you see fit. 

Neeson: No. He will end up wearing your skin as a coat if you let him. Save yourself.

[lytefoot]

Well, I must send you minor characters too. So, Kreacher and Hokey the House elf :D

I really love doing minor characters, they’re a lot of fun to play with. (I’m doing two prompts for @obscurochallenge and would be doing more if I had more time.) But I think Hokey might be too minor even for me; she’s a two-minute plot device.

Kreacher, on the other hand, is a personal favorite, so I am all over him.

Why I like them: I feel so sorry for him! Pet the woobie!

And I like the way he plays into the key themes of redemption and repentance in the Deathly Hallows.

Why I don’t: Getting Sirius killed would be the obvious one. Although, let’s be honest, the Battle of the Department of Mysteries was part of The Plan; if it hadn’t happened, the Ministry would never have admitted Voldemort was back. If Kreacher hadn’t done it, someone else would have had to.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Leading the charge of the House Elves at the Battle of Hogwarts.

Favorite season/movie: Deathly Hallows.

Favorite line: "Perhaps just one more, Master Harry, for luck?“ (About pummeling Mundungus with a frying pan.)

Favorite outfit: The much cleaner tea towel he had when the trio were staying at Grimmauld Place.

OTP: Okay, so Kreacher is a personal favorite of mine, but my mind recoils from the idea of involving him in any sort of romance.

Brotp: Kreacher and toddler!Teddy Lupin. Kreacher thought of him as a scion of the House of Black just the most adorable little thing to ever walk the earth (and who can blame him) and Teddy thought Kreacher’s ears were funny and would hug him at the slightest provocation.

Head Canon: Harry never freed Kreacher. He would have, but Kreacher was horrified by the idea. (I’ll save my long-a** essay on what I think happened with House Elf Rights after the war for another time.) I have an in-depth House Elves of Grimmauld Place headcanon, honestly, involving, like, taking in one of the of Kreacher’s actual relatives, a niece if you want me to be specific, when the death eaters’ property was being liquidated. So for a while there, Harry had two House Elves, and Kreacher had some company, which is nice. Kreacher died a very old Elf and Harry put on a full-blown funeral for him, but did not cut off his head and hang it by the stairs. (To complete the saga, Mira, the niece, eventually consented to be freed a few years after Kreacher died, but stayed on as an employee, like, for pay, with vacations and weekends off.)

Unpopular opinion: I think “Harry never freed Kreacher” probably constitutes an unpopular opinion.

A wish: That Sirius and could have known about Kreacher and Regulus and that the two of them could have had a bonding moment over it.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Porn. I know absolutely nothing about house-elf d**ks, and that’s already too much.

5 words to best describe them: Cranky, mean, loyal, pitiable, ugly

My nickname for them: Nothing for him, either.

[raveneira]

KawaSara

Completely off topic of Todays episode but are people really that salty about the KawaSara ship? it’s literally SasuSaku all over again in terms of the arguments used against them

Which btw I still wanna know where are all the SasuSaku fans that apparently support KawaSara because its like SasuSaku [which it isnt in any way shape or form its completely unique in comparison imo] because I have yet to see anyone but anti’s making this claim

And yes Im a SasuSaku shipper and I ship KawaSara but not because I think its anything like SasuSaku because I dont

What I dont get isnt why people dont like the ship because to each their own, what I dont get is the bullshit reasoning on why KawaSara shippers are ‘bad’ or ‘delusional’ or the most common ‘he did nothing but insult her the entire chapter!’

No he did not, here’s what actually happened

For Kawaki’s first time trying Taiyaki Sarada suggests he try the custard one to which Kawaki defiantly chooses chocolate instead, Sarada asks if she could have a bite since she’s never tried the chocolate flavored one and Kawaki refuses because its his and why should he share it with an asshole like her

Kawaki desires freedom and to make his own decisions, Sarada suggested custard but Kawaki wanted to make his own decision and decided on chocolate which Kawaki surprisingly enjoyed, Sarada asks for a bite of HIS snack that HE chose for himself and belongs to him and takes offense to it which shows he probably doesnt get the concept of sharing the same way he wasnt familiar with what a snack was and took it as a sign of her wanting to take from him which makes her an asshole

You could take the Taiyaki as his free will so sharing it with Sarada would be like sharing or giving his free will to her which he doesnt wanna do

Then a kid ran into Kawaki and he reflexively attacked him but was stopped by Naruto, afterwards Sarada went over to the two boys to check on them and apologized for Kawaki’s actions, Sarada is a kind and caring person so naturally, she is angry at Kawaki for his outburst

He calls Sarada an asshole again which he calls everyone, ‘he didnt call Hinata, Himawari or Ino an asshole though!’  yeah and know why? because neither Hinata, Himawari nor Ino gave him a REASON to

Kawaki only addresses people as assholes that he feels is trying to control him, is hostile towards him, or just ticks him off

Hinata barely said two words to him, Himawari also hardly had any interaction with him and Ino was just being extra polite because of the ‘mission’ and had no reason to be hostile towards Kawaki nor him to her

Sarada on the other hand? she’s getting on his case for nearly killing an innocent kid for no reason, Kawaki tells her to shut up and brushes it off as just giving them a taste of the real world, Sarada PERSISTS yelling at him more for using his upbringing [which atm she doesnt know the full story] as an excuse for his behavior, this of course anger’s Kawaki but he doesnt yell at her or lash out and instead asks why she’s even coming along when it has nothing to do with her

Kawaki could have easily yelled at her the way she was at him especially when she played down his upbringing but instead, he just calls her an asshole and asks why she even bothered coming along

My point is Sarada is being hostile towards Kawaki, she’s yelling at him, telling him his actions were wrong when he believes they are justified, saying his upbringing is no excuse for his behavior, Kawaki doesnt like being talked down to and he definitely doesnt like being told what he should and shouldnt do which Sarada was doing and was thus an asshole

Sarada ONCE AGAIN gets on his case, this time for picking a random vase instead of choosing seriously which this time Kawaki does yell at her because again Kawaki does not like being told what to do

He doesnt like being controlled for obvious reasons, Kawaki wants freedom from Jigen and Kara etc and to have free will which is something he wasnt allowed to have so Sarada or anyone else getting on his case about anything triggers a negative reaction from him because he doesn't want to be controlled which he feels Sarada is trying to do by butting in when it has nothing to do with her

The only reason Naruto even gets some respect is because he’s powerful and goes out of his way to be nice to him but he doesnt really like being told what to do by Naruto either but he knows that he has no choice in the matter since he stands no chance of escaping

Kawaki himself is not inherently bad nor does he hate people just for the hell of it, as Naruto said ‘dont you have any sense of sociability?’ to which Kawaki sarcastically replies ‘Hmph...unfortunately it was caused by my bad upbringing’ in reference to what Sarada said earlier

But we see Kawaki does have empathy since he did and does feel bad about breaking the vase and he is going out of his way to make it up to Boruto even though they dont exactly get along Kawaki IS capable of feeling remorse and compassion, he’s just traumatized and doesnt exactly have much experience socially

Bottom line is Kawaki is still very socially inexperienced and is always on edge and on the defensive never knowing when someone’s going to try and hurt him, he has serious trust issues and rightfully so so his treatment of Sarada shouldnt really have been a surprise and even Sarada herself doesnt feed into Kawaki’s insult [the way Boruto does] and just ignores it

If Sarada doesnt care and isnt fazed by the insult why’s the fandom? Sarada’s clearly capable of handling Kawaki, she isnt afraid of him nor does she back down from him and stands her ground

But I love how all the anti’s main argument is about the insult and zero potential when literally this happened after all that

When Sarada see’s Kawaki’s frightened reaction in dropping the vase from his PTSD she realizes Kawaki’s past might be more traumatic then she thought, seeing Naruto hug him and tell him he’s safe here also probably tipped her off to how much Kawaki was really struggling which is when this happened

Sarada tells Kawaki he can rely on her and come to her whenever since she too wants to be Hokage like Naruto is and as Hokage, it is their duty to be there for those in need which in this case is Kawaki

This shows Sarada’s change in attitude towards him from thinking hes just a rude jerk to seeing how frightened he really is, even after Kawaki was rude to her, in the end, she STILL offers to be there for him and to come to her if anything troubles him

Naruto even says that their friends now which Kawaki doesn't deny and just tells Naruto its none of his business ‘shithead’

Funny how he says this to Naruto even after he hugged and comforted him moments ago but its no big deal then right? Im done

I could go on with more panels and go more in-depth with my points but that honestly isnt necessary because the chapter spoke for itself, Kawaki is a very damaged kid with a terrible upbringing and because of it has terrible social skills but isnt a bad person and just wants freedom from those who wish to control and use him

His hostility towards Sarada was reconciled at the end and so was Sarada’s hostility towards him so really the whole ‘he was rude/insulted her!’ or ‘they hate each other!’ or my favorite ‘they have zero potential!’ arguments are all debunked within the chapter

Oh and about the zero potential thing, Sarada mentioning how she’s aiming to be the Hokage too shortly after Naruto hugged and comforted him after his panic attack seems like pretty clear potential to me

She’s basically saying she’s willing to be there for him the way Naruto’s there for him right now which is a pretty good set up for their relationship since Kawaki REALLY needs that support and comfort and most importantly security, if Sarada can offer him that then thats a pretty good start that could build up to something more

But we’re a long ways off from that so I dont even see the big deal yet but apparently anti’s just had to start BS accusing SS shippers of shipping KS because we think its like SasuSaku which I cannot stress enough it ISNT and the only ones who think they ARE is the anti’s themselves so I donno man

All Im sayin is I ship it because I see the potential bond there and I think most of the KS shippers do too, if your anti-KS thats fine but please stop the BS because we all know what its really about

[wannabuyahotcat]

Laundry Day

Sans couldn't miss it, going by the number of post-it notes he woke up to saying those exact two words in flourished all caps. Papyrus liked to make a point, that was for sure. He spent the best part of a day collecting every item of clothing he needed washed, spending most of his many 'breaks' on the couch drinking and watching mindless television. When he finally had a basket full, he wandered into the laundry, plopping the wicker down onto the floor.

There were already neat piles of laundered clothes along the counter, all folded and ready to put away. Heh, maybe he could try and convince Pap to fold his clothes when they were all done.

By convince, of course he meant leave the finished washing in the machine and head off to Grillby's for the evening.

Maybe that's a bit too mean.

Well, if he forgot he'd feel a bit less bad about it, which was what was probably going to happen anyway.

Pap had left the door to the washer open, a single post-it with a strangely passive agressive smiley face stuck to the inside of the door. Sans had to laugh. If only Pap knew how long he'd taken just to get to this point.

Something else made him stop and chuckle, remembering back to something he read on the interwebs one day. Something about socks and such that go missing actually being sucked into the gap between the barrel and the seals. Heh, he might as well take a looksie to see if any of his socks had gone into the beyond.

He plopped down onto his knees infront of the machine, slowly peeling back the rubber ring around the metal container. What was that?

A small, black sliver pulsated just below his fingers.

Knowing his way around the void already, he put his hand in without really thinking, the world going black around him as he was sucked inside, left to float in a pitch black vacuum of.. socks?

They were everywhere! What seemed like millions of the things, floating around as far as his eye sockets could see.

"huh, that explains a thing or two- you!?"

A figure materialised before him, a little lighter than the void, but still deep black. A cracked, smiling skull seemingly floating in the nothingness. He looked at the intruder with interest, slowly gliding ever closer.

"... dad?"

The other went to answer, letting out a croak.

"dad! is this where you've been all these years? in our washing machine? i-i have so many questions!"

"... s- o- ks.."

Sans tipped his head like a puppy would. ".. what?"

Without warning, two white hands grabbed at his arms, holding him in place. The cracked skull flew right up into his face, it's features contorting in anger.

"PICK UP YOUR GOD DAMNED SOCKS, SANS!!!"

"oh.. uh. sure, pops.."

"NOW, SANS."

"okay, i'll do it in a bit."

"NO. NOT IN A BIT. NOW! THEY KEEP GETTING IN MY BLOODY EYE SOCKETS!"

"pfft.."

"IT IS NOT FUNNY, SANS!"

[american-auror-story]

@mybrainsonvacation tagged me!

Rules: Answer the 11 questions given to you (below my answered questions), then create 11 of your own questions for 11 people you tag to answer.

1) If you had to live in a country that you don’t have a citizenship for which one would you pick? Oh man... Canada, England, Scotland, France, Italy... Anywhere pretty or with good food. Or both.

2)What’s the best meal you’ve ever eaten? Well my favorite thing is this gaelic pan steak recipe I got from a cookbook that’s also the memoirs of the personal chef of Princess Diana. Holy crap that’s good steak.

3)How many stuffed animals did you sleep with when you were a kid? ALL OF THEM. SO MANY.

4)What’s the longest flight you’ve ever been on? Probably about 4 or 5 hours, flying from California to Oklahoma back in high school. 

5)What’s the furthest distance you’ve ever driven? Let me tell y’all a story. So this one time, I’m trying to drive from east Tennessee, to Wichita KS. My GPS tells me it’s supposed to be a 13 hour drive, through Nashville, up into Kentucky, and a turn onto some back highways in Paducah Kentucky and then straight over to Wichita. So I follow my instructions, onto the back highways, and I get to the KY/MO line and the BRIDGE IS CLOSED. It’s like 3 pm, and the bridge won’t open again until 5:30. So I can either sit there in the middle of nowhere in this creepy backwoods town with nothing but a bottle of water and my dog, or I can drive up to St. Louis, over to Kansas City, and then back down to Wichita. All in all it took me 16 hours, and by the time I was ready to just stop and find a hotel for the night, I was mere hours from my destination and just wanted to get it over with. 16 hours. Never again.

6)Favorite candy? Depends on my mood, but I’m always down for Peanut M&Ms, Hot Tamales, and Riesins. 

7)If you could be a an additional character in any book which book would you pick? It would probably have to be Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts.

8)What’s your dream job? I’ve struggled a lot with the idea of a dream job, because I wanted to be a musician when I was growing up, and I pursued it, but it obviously didn’t work out. I ended up super poor and depressed. Now I have a job that pays adequately but suuuucks. I think all jobs are going to have their good points, and all jobs are going to have things that suck. So, on one hand, my answer would be any job that pays me well and isn’t awful. But on the other hand, I’d love to be a nature photographer, or a K-9 handler, or a scientist working on making solar energy more widely available to the public, or a hiking guide in the Smoky Mountains, or a film critic.

9)What movie do you wish you could erase from existance? 10 Cloverfield Lane. It had me legitimately sitting on the edge of my seat as a psychological thriller, scarred me for life during the scene with the girl’s friend and the acid, and then (spoiler alert) introduced aliens. Like... if I’m signing up for an alien movie I want to see aliens the whole time, not the bait and switch of a psych thriller turned sci-fi.

10)If you had to pick a country to rule over which one would you pick? The United States of America, because even though I am a 30 year old woman with retail and management experience, I have 100% confidence that I could do a better job than our current leadership.

11)If you had a million dollars what would you buy first? I would pay off my student loans first, and then my credit card, and then my car, and then I’d buy a house. And then I’d buy a german shepherd puppy. :)

My questions are:

1) What are your three favorite movies or tv shows and why?

2) What’s one topic you’re passionate enough to teach a class on?

3) If a movie was made about your life, what celebrity would portray you?

4) Unpopular opinion: what’s a song you hate and why?

5) If you had all the time in the world and enough space to accommodate, what pet would you get?

6) What’s keeping you from doing that one thing you really want to do?

7) Your Hogwarts house?

8) Tell me a funny story.

9) What’s a trope you wish would die?

10) Cooking or baking?

11) Your favorite holiday?

I tag:

@perplexedhedgehog

@winds-and-stardust

@deviousdiggy

@goddamnitvivian

@generally-fantastic-things

@theannualextremistbakesale

and anyone else who I may have forgot that wants to play!