#probably gonna get harassed for this honestly but i'm that desperate
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windingpathways · 2 years ago
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I'M PREGNANT AND NEED TO NOT BE. PLEASE HELP
fuck okay so I can't believe I'm making this post, but here we are.
despite birth control and my best efforts, i'm pregnant.
i can't handle this right now for a lot of reasons-- i'm going through a divorce, i'm deeply in debt due to the marriage i'm trying to end, barely staying afloat as it is working multiple jobs. i'm multiply disabled and so far have been EXTREMELY sick every day to the point of being unable to function. i don't have the time, money, physical and mental health, or resources to deal with a pregnancy, let alone a baby.
on top of all that, i have an infection they can't treat while i am pregnant, so they're trying to get this terminated as quickly as possible. i have an appointment set for Tuesday, 3/28/23 at 2pm.
my insurance does not cover abortions except in proven cases of rape or incest. all this to say, I need to somehow scrape together $600 by Tuesday for the abortion itself, plus cost of transportation. it's also been difficult to eat lately and i've been living off yogurt and the few other specific things i can keep down, so help restocking the fridge would be amazing.
i am of course gratefully accepting donations but am also just getting started as a content creator and i'm happy to do custom pics/vids etc as well.
c*shtag/v*nmo are both $wanderingivy
contact me privately for more info
please boost if you can
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treacheryinblue · 21 days ago
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「 ON DISPLAY 」 noah sebastian ⨯ f!reader
▷ chapter two
noah is your neighbor and your new favorite view thanks to his lack of curtains. you're pretty sure he prefers it this way. but the man you've created in your imagination is nothing like reality and you soon find yourself falling prey to a past lifestyle you had been desperately on the run from. trigger warnings : language, eventual smut, violence, mention/flashbacks of abuse, alcohol and drug use, sexual harassment/assault (nongraphic). word count : 7.1k a / n : we're really setting the scene and the vibes with this one. more noah time will come in the next chapter, both in person and through the infamous window. do not fret.
masterlist
FLASHBACK - READER
“Why are you looking at her? Huh? You look at me.” 
The guttural tone of Vane’s voice that only reared its ugly head when he was angry made your skin crawl. It didn't matter that you were tucked away in his SUV because the response it coaxed from your body was nothing short of fearful. You had been on the receiving end of it many times before but not this time. No, this time it was one of his business friends, colleagues, whatever they were to be called. The man in question had been eying you from the open trunk of his own vehicle while showing the new merchandise to Vane. He obviously hadn’t been very subtle about it. This didn't stop your heart from racing nor did it prevent your palms from clamming up. You were still very much aware of what sort of hell Vane would rain down when pushed. 
“Why did you bring her along, Vane?” The man spoke through clenched teeth as if you were a threat. Between everyone currently present at this business exchange, you were the last one to worry about. You had no weapons. No phone. No way of tattling on any of these unsavory men even if you wanted to. Who would you tell anyway? The only person who had the means to protect you was your father and he was already in the know of your whereabouts. He and Vane had probably discussed it over a nice glass of bourbon earlier in the day. 
“Don't fucking question what I do. You got a problem? Just say so and we can handle it right here.” 
You heavily sighed at Vane’s overly dramatic show of dominance while leaning further back in the passenger seat. He was such a joke when he put in hours - always so over the top and a show off - and the one time you confessed this to him had landed you on the floor with a busted lip. Vodka made you mouthy and gave you a hefty set of balls apparently. That wasn't a mistake you made again. 
Vane may have been a son of a bitch but he was willing to act, typically before thinking. He didn't hesitate to reach for the gun tucked in the back of his pants, though he didn't pull it out. The shift of his arm was enough to set the man straight and return the conversation to what was important: Vane’s merchandise. 
“Pack this shit up,” he commanded after a few beats, his annoyance towards the man evident. The seller stammered over his words but Vane was quick to cut him off. “Stop your goddamn blabbering, Diego. I'm taking it but that look you stole of my girl is gonna cost you two grand off the price.” 
And there it was. The real reason why he dragged you along to these deals. Honestly, Vane wasn't very smart most of the time but he knew who he could shove around and who he needed to back down from. Diego was not the latter. Shit, you probably could've gone out there and gotten him to knock even more off the price just by flashing him a smile. You had no desire to get in the middle of Vane’s dealings, though, and he was also far too possessive to allow anyone beneath him to live if he caught them staring your way. He was a menace in a knock off suit. 
“Load it all up.” Vane further demanded while he was tossing his cigarette out and stomping his way back to the SUV you occupied. You forced a smile onto your face because you knew better than to let him see your true feelings towards all of this. Drugs. Weapons. All of it was a one way ticket to jail or possibly even the grave. Neither outcome was one you had any interest in living out. He made you an accomplice simply by having you witness the deals. Just another way to keep you under his thumb. 
As he slammed the car door, he immediately reached across the center console to roughly grab the back of your neck. Although the dig of his fingers was painful, you kept your expression neutral. His mouth was soon on yours, one hand squeezing your nape as the other firmly grasped your chin to keep you in his hold. Vane tasted like smoke and shitty beer – both of which you hated. Unfortunately, that didn't stop you from kissing him back. Not like you had any other choice. You really put on the performance of your life when you were with him. 
“I've got a good thing going here for you, baby,” he muttered against your swollen lips. “Don't fuck it up by getting that annoying self righteous look in your eyes.” 
Okay, maybe you weren't ready for your Oscar win just yet. 
PRESENT - NOAH
There was the lingering threat of cutting himself every time he fidgeted with his knife, the swift back and forth motion of opening and closing the blade making those around him nervous. That's what he enjoyed about it though – keeping people on edge. Noah couldn't even remember the last time he accidentally drew his own blood and the pain would be fleeting even if he did happen to nick himself. 
That wasn't stopping Jolly from shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It took a lot to make the boss squirm, but Noah sure was a pro at it. He attributed this to his years of practice in the field. 
“Everything is on time?” Jolly cleared his throat, his eyes shifting back and forth between the glint of the freshly sharpened blade and Noah’s relaxed face. 
“Aye, sir,” Noah mocked just as the knife clicked shut for a final time. “Truck hit the last checkpoint around midnight, so the shipment should be arriving within the hour.” 
No one knew that Jolly had recently taken over for his father. The older Karlsson made a point for the shift of power to be kept hush with only the inner circle being made aware. Everyone knew that a transitioning empire would have a moment of turmoil before everything went calm again, but they weren't currently in an area of peace where their empire in particular could handle the shakeup. If it wasn't for Jolly’s father being a little worse for wear, then they would've still had at least a decade to prepare for this. It was a good thing that Noah could remain calm amongst chaos. 
Jolly released a sound of irritation while shuffling the mouse of his computer to wake the screen. “Don't fucking call me ‘sir’,” he grumbled. His face was then illuminated in a wash of blue from the multiple feeds of their security cameras before a few additional clicks threw the images to the large television screen mounted on the wall. They both watched in a momentary silence, Jolly’s eyes shifting between each feed while Noah focused in on one specifically. 
You were balancing a tray of drinks, hips swaying in a natural motion before bending at the knees to pass a table of business men their order. Noah could tell that you were trying your best to smile but he had been watching you enough to know when it was genuine versus forced. He felt a pull to swoop down and rescue you from the hustle and bustle of the long Nocturnal nights but he had a job to do and being your knight in shining armor was not one of them. 
“Are the girls getting along better?” 
“In the Garden or in main?” 
“You know they're too preoccupied in the Garden to give a shit about petty drama.”
Noah did know this because there was rarely an issue with the dancers. The servers on the other hand…they were as catty as could be. He shrugged, his tattooed hands intertwining to tuck behind his head. “It's improving by the day.” 
“Are you sure about that?” 
Another click of the mouse and the squares of different security footage became only one – the feed that was directed at you. There was no audio but Noah didn't need sound to know that you were having a heated exchange with another waitress that he knew as Charlotte. Your jaw was clenched, grip tight on the edges of your serving tray that the bartender was currently filling with an order. Noah had to give you props for fulfilling your duties in a timely manner once the final drink was passed along with the bleach blonde still shrieking. 
Nevertheless, whatever the argument was about, it needed to end. Nocturnal was not going to become one of those clubs, not on his watch. He had helped build this place to what it was today and he would rather die than see its crumbled remains. 
Before Noah could get a word out, the scene that unfurled next played out in slow motion. You were unloading your tray when Charlotte walked by, her hip pointedly jutting into your backside to send not only your tray, but also the remaining drinks crashing down to the table. You fumbled from the impact in an attempt to right yourself but it was too late. You didn't stand a chance against the sneak attack. 
“Goddammit.” Noah groaned, Jolly exhaling one of his own in tandem. 
“Go fucking handle it! Bring them both up!” He hollered.
Noah wanted to argue that this immature nonsense was way beneath his pay grade but he wasn't going to pass up the chance of seeing you up close again. He was still trying to get the color of your eyes just right in his memory. 
READER 
Everything was soaked in a mixture of different alcohols. You, the table, the highly irritated men now hurling a combination of insults and complaints at you. You were frantically trying to clean things up by reaching for toppled over glasses and promising a drink on the house – if you could even do that – but nothing was helping with lessening their anger. 
“Fucking amateur.”
“Can't even serve a drink.”
“Shitty fucking help.”
There was a part of you that was plopped right back down to a year ago when everything you did was heavily critiqued by your ex boyfriend. He always had something to say about the way you held yourself, the foods you liked, your choice of makeup style. Nothing was ever to his standards unless he was the one to choose it. You fucking hated feeling like that helpless girl again, and by a group of strangers no less. 
“I'm so sorry, gentlemen!” you repeated again and again. “I must've slipped.”
You hadn't slipped. You had felt the way Charlotte shoved into you and if you didn't need this job then you would've been whacking her across the head with your now empty tray right this very second. The men continued to rant and you continued to ignore them for all of your sakes. 
Squatting down in the most ladylike way you could, you carried on with cleaning the area. Your hands were shaking, your nerves beginning to get the best of you. Anxiety had only recently become a problem for you and being the center of attention in this regard worsened the effects. You kept telling yourself to suck it up, that these guys weren't Vane, but your brain refused to follow through with the order. There was never a moment that you weren't expecting to look up and see his face staring back at you. 
A hand lightly touching your shoulder caused you to jump and nearly fall over to the now sticky floor. Thankfully you caught yourself at the last second. Your head whipped around, breath catching, just to see hot neighbor towering over you. Fuck. Your fight or flight had just almost kicked in. That really would've been embarrassing.  
“Boss would like a word.” He retracted his hand when he noticed the bewildered look in your eyes, a curious yet concerned gleam flashing within his own at the sight. 
“But, I - uh…I'm cleaning up –” 
“It'll be taken care of. Head for the back stairs and Shauna will show you to his office.” 
Slowly you stood back to your full height, nodding at his instructions. Your hands smoothed down over your skirt to straighten it out, followed by a slight tug at the hem as if that would help further cover the view of your legs from the angry men now narrowed in on you. 
“She looked better on her knees,” one of the men murmured to his pal at his side, both of them erupting into laughter. It was like you were up in VIP again with Marcus taunting you. Why were all men such assholes? 
You bit your tongue to prevent yourself from saying something you may regret. Choosing between your livelihood and your pride was difficult but you knew you would be no good to anyone, not even yourself, if you landed back on hard times. Taking in a deep breath, your eyes cut over to hot neighbor who now appeared to be rather…angry? The lights of Nocturnal encompassed him in red, but something told you that his skin would still be the same shade even under horrid fluorescent bulbs. 
“Now.” He demanded in a deep voice, his head nodding in the direction you were meant to go. The tone he used was frightening, this being more than enough to light the fire beneath your ass that had you quickly scampering across the club to the opposite side where the stairs sat. Just as he had said, Shauna was waiting at the base to guide you up. 
“What did you do to get King all in a tizzy?” Shauna laughed during your journey up the narrow staircase that would've been otherwise hidden had your new tour guide not been waiting. 
“I didn't do anything,” you shrugged. “Who is he, by the way? King?” 
A glance was taken back at you, the same amused expression you were used to seeing whenever you asked a question present across Shauna’s darkly painted lips. “He's the head of security…technically.”
“Technically?”
“He wears a lot of hats around here,” she sighed. “Security, second in command, amongst many other things, and now apparently a waitress wrangler.” 
The small jab made at your expense wasn't lost on you, but it was just one more thing you preferred to stay silent on. You were already stirring the pot a bit too much to have only been employed at Nocturnal for a week and you didn't need to further add to it. This must've been a new record since Shauna had mentioned in passing once that the turn over rate wasn't high. The workers loved it here, yet of course you were the only one having issues. 
Shauna’s pace slowed the further she led you down a dimly lit hallway. You had come to the conclusion that they didn't like light around here. Abruptly stopping in front of a door at the very end of the hallway, she turned to look at you, her eyes immediately sinking into yours. It appeared as if there was something she wanted to say by the way her lips faintly twitched, but she decidedly covered it with another smile. 
An arm extended off to the side to plant three firm knocks on the door, the sound of the lock electronically unlatching following seconds later. “Don't ask too many questions,” Shauna lowly added before she was sidestepping you and strutting back down the endless hallway, but only after she had twisted the doorknob and pushed the thick barrier open a couple of inches. 
X X X
You felt small standing in front of the boss. He was finely dressed in a black suit, a cross earring dangling from his ear, and his long hair secured back into a bun that sat low on his neck, while you were…well, you currently resembled a wet dog after having an entire tray of drinks find their way onto you. 
His face was emotionless as he stared at you, silently sizing you up, but you refused to be intimidated. So, you held his gaze despite the way your trembling fingers were anxiously fidgeting with each other. He must've noticed because he only chuckled and shook his head before releasing a deep breath you hadn't realized he had been holding. 
Well, fuck. Had that been some sort of test? 
“Genevieve…” he slowly spoke, sounding out each syllable to himself. 
“That's not my name. I mean, not really, that's just what I chose to go –”
A hand was lifted to motion for you to stop and his head turned in a single shake. “I know that's not your real name. Everyone here has a chosen alias. Some for fun and others for safety precautions. Doesn't matter to me what you choose to call yourself.”
There was an accent attached to his words, though it was one you couldn't quite place. 
“What does matter to me is how you choose to conduct yourself in my club. And what I saw tonight doesn't reflect too well on my business.” 
There wasn't yet a chance for you to defend yourself and tell your side of the story because the door opened and your conversation was immediately overtaken by Charlotte’s nails-on-a-chalkboard voice. You didn't miss the way the boss let a cringe briefly overtake his otherwise stoic demeanor. 
“I didn't even do anything! She was standing too far out and I accidentally ran into her! It's not my fault she likes to stick her ass out like some feral cat in heat!” 
King was right behind her, the same annoyed expression plastered across his own face. He didn't say a word as he crossed the office to take his place beside where the boss sat at his desk, leaving both you and Charlotte standing on trial before them. 
Your arms crossed over your chest to hug yourself, a chill setting in from all the different beverages soaking into your clothes. Maybe if you let Charlotte keep talking then she would dig her own grave deeper and deeper until there was no way for her to get out. She was already doing a pretty bang up job of it. At least that meant you could get out of there faster. 
Charlotte stepped up beside you with her hands on her hips, one leg extended out a bit further. As if on instinct you shifted a bit to your left, purposely placing a little more space between you and the loud blonde. When you looked up, hot neighbor was watching you, the same curious gleam in his eyes as it had been moments prior. It seemed as if he was always watching you, even when you weren't fully aware of it. You would never forget the way it felt to have his eyes raking across your skin whether it be from a security camera, in person, or from your open window. 
“What happened?” Boss asked, his fingertips lightly planting against the top of his desk. Charlotte immediately raced to recite a scenario you were sure wouldn't be the actual truth, but she was stopped within the first word by the boss holding his hand up to her. “Genevieve.” 
You looked back and forth between the two men watching you. You were expecting to feel uncomfortable beneath their gazes but the only thing bringing you discomfort in that moment was your wet bra. Maybe your naive brain wasn’t scared of them, your intuition telling you that they were not your enemy, or maybe you just hadn't yet clocked them as a source of fear. 
“I was serving my table and she purposely ran into me which caused me to drop my entire tray.” Simple. What more was there to be said on the matter? 
“What prompted the argument you two were seen having beforehand?” 
You could sense Charlotte tensing beside you, the toe of her shoe beginning to lightly tap against the floor in quick succession. She knew this was where she was going to go down for what happened because she couldn't explain it away as an “accident”. That is, if they believed you. Charlotte was a seasoned veteran at Nocturnal, whereas you had only just started. They were already more likely to take her side based on that alone. 
“She…um…she was accusing me of flirting with someone she was interested in.” Your eyes did a quick glance to King since he was the someone in question. “I wasn't, of course, because I've only had one conversation with the guy and she just…assumed.” 
Charlotte witnessed the little run in you had with hot neighbor on your first shift after he had escorted you down from VIP. She found joy in riling you up about it ever since during every one of your shifts, and typically you ignored her, but tonight you had been fed up and finally started trying to defend yourself head on. People, Charlotte specifically, thought you were weak merely because you were quiet. You wanted them to know that it was best not to underestimate you. You just knew how to pick your battles. 
“You made her drop her drinks because of a guy?” The boss was now looking at Charlotte. His tone read as calm but you could tell by the widening of his eyes and the way his hand flattened on the desk that he was growing more and more irritated by the second. “This isn't high school, Charlotte, so why are you acting like an immature child?” 
Charlotte opened her mouth to speak but King’s heavy sigh of boredom put a halt to her attempt. “We don't have time for this,” he exclaimed after taking a glance at his watch. Boss looked his way and hot neighbor raised his brows, both of them partaking in some sort of private silent conversation that you weren't privy to. 
“Your tips are paying for those lost drinks.” The boss concluded after a few beats. “As well as their replacement ones.” 
“What?! Nothing happens to her?!” Charlotte scoffed, her voice again piercing your ears and making you lean back a bit. 
“It's not up for debate! Now out! Get back to work!”  
You were quick to head for the door behind Charlotte, who was grumbling angrily to herself, despite having an eerie feeling that the blonde was going to make the rest of your shift a living hell. Maybe even all of your shifts for the foreseeable future. You had one foot out the door when a hand secured around your bicep, firmly stopping your motions forward. “Not you,” his low voice sounded in your ear, a chill immediately radiating down your spine. 
King was gentle as he pulled you back a step and used his free hand to close the door. He was so close that you could feel his breath fanning your hair and making it tickle your neck. The slightest tilt backwards and you knew his chest would connect with your back, and honestly, you were very tempted to do just that. You had been imagining the way his body would feel against yours for over a month at this point, never once thinking it would actually come to fruition, but now here you were. The only reason why you resisted was because you weren't alone in the room and you didn't need your boss witnessing you becoming a complete puddle for his right hand man. 
“Jolly just wants a few more minutes of your time.”
X X X 
King. Jolly. You felt like you were in some dark fucked up version of Candyland with those names, but instead of the Lollipop Woods and princesses, it was nothing but tattooed men and their load of secrets. Not nearly as tasty as the candy would've been. Well, at least not until you'd become knowledgeable of these secrets. 
You strolled into your apartment a little after 2am, your new boss - Jolly - allowing you to leave early since the entirety of the last bit of your visit with him had consisted of you sitting in front of his desk and shivering. King passed you a Nocturnal t-shirt at some point in an attempt to help warm you but it didn't do nearly as much as either of you were hoping. You swore you saw him briefly contemplating giving you the jacket he wore, though he did a quick glance at Jolly before ultimately deciding against it. You couldn't say you blamed him. 
The quiet of your apartment was welcoming, this finally giving you a chance to hear your own thoughts and actually process the night. Jolly merely wanted to chat with you, your new hire file laid out in front of him, since he hadn't been given the chance to formally introduce himself as he usually would when new employees began. He explained that his father had been the original owner of Nocturnal but he now did the majority of all the work that went along with the club since his dad had his hand in other things. You politely smiled and nodded, unsure as to why he was choosing to tell you this. All in all, he was nice. There was a kindness to him that wasn’t overtly obvious but you could sense it. 
Hot neighbor only spoke up a few times, instead opting to remain seated back in the dark corner with his feet propped up versus at Jolly’s side. This probably meant that you weren't deemed as a threat. He held the same knife from VIP the entire time, and you knew this because the blade would occasionally catch the light and shine on you. Each time it would and you'd glance his way, he would greet you with a barely-there sideways smirk. Fifteen minutes later, he was looking at his phone and then springing to his feet with a reminder to Jolly that they had a shipment to receive. And that was that. End of meeting. 
It was all so normal, the interaction, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. What? You had no idea. 
After your entirely too long and too hot shower, you took solace in front of your open window. His was open as well, as it always was, but there were no signs of movement. This wasn't unusual since you knew he had business to tend to when you left, though you were still curious as to how late he was usually at the club. Was that where he always was when he wasn't home? That's what you were going to tell yourself was true. 
You remained awake for an hour longer, occasionally glancing at his window, but everything remained still. 
X X X 
“Come out with us! Pleaseeeee! Please please!” Mel begged via FaceTime, a dramatic pout pulling at her lips. You could see the usual crowd behind her as she walked down the street, the group headed towards their normal haunt for a few drinks before eventually finding a club. It was the same weekend routine every time. Normally you would attend but you weren't feeling it that night. It was your first day off, as well as night, in awhile, so you were going to take some much needed alone time. 
Your nose scrunched and you shook your head at the phone camera. “I'm really just not feeling up to it,” you explained in a playful whiny voice of your own. “The club has been kicking my ass and I have to be at Red’s bright and early tomorrow.”
“Ugh! Just tell me you're actually having a steamy affair with hot neighbor! Tell me you're going to his place to let him absolutely ravish you!” 
“Yeah, that's totally what's happening,” you joked. “He's getting the whips and ropes ready for me right now.” 
This was even funnier to you because you hadn't yet revealed to Mel that you worked with hot neighbor now. There was no real reason for keeping it from her. Just that it tended to slip your mind when the two of you were around each other. 
“That sounds so sexy! The fuck!” Your best friend squealed, the loud noise causing you to pull the phone back a bit. 
“Okay, you go enjoy yourself! I promise I'll come next time.” 
“Fineee! Love you!” 
The FaceTime call ended with Melinda then laughing at something someone around her said before it all went dark. You sighed softly to yourself, your gaze remaining on the blank screen for a long moment. You were tempted to say ‘fuck it’ and go out but the exhaustion was really starting to hit. You would be no fun. 
As the silence set in, that's when you found yourself wondering about King. All day you had managed to avoid looking at his window because you weren't going to let this random guy be a defining moment in your life. Plus, he was your boss. Kind of. Second in command definitely made him your boss in a way, right? But now that the sun was setting and your loneliness was creeping in, you couldn't stop yourself from glancing over. 
A big part of you was hoping he wouldn't be there. After all, it was the weekend. Okay, it was Sunday, but you knew that was still a busy day for clubs when it came to the city. Nevertheless, you couldn't get involved with him. It wasn't smart for so many reasons and you were really working on trying to be smarter these days. Why did that have to be so hard? 
Taking in a breath, your eyes danced along the other windows of different apartments before ultimately landing on his. No curtains still - go figure - but the space wasn't empty as it had been the night before. There he sat, drink in hand, his focus on the large screen television mounted on his wall. You could barely make out the images but you did know it was some sort of cartoon. Your chin propped comfortably in your hand the further you sat up until you were on your knees leaning over the back. Very similar to how you were positioned the first time you saw him. 
The only difference was that now you didn't care if you got caught watching him. 
When he didn't look your way within the first few seconds, you shifted your focus to the darkening sky. Deep pinks and oranges swirled around, fading into the blue that would soon fully overtake the sky. You couldn't see too much because of the position of the apartment building, but it would have to do for now. You could remember staring at the sky for hours on end in your previous life. It was all you could do when Vane was working and you had no choice but to tag along. You weren't allowed to have a phone to keep you entertained back then. Not even just to play Candy Crush or some nonsense like that. Look at you now, still staring at the same sky, thinking the same wonder-filled thoughts. Old habits truly did die hard. 
It was the slight motion in the corner of your eye that brought you back down to the present. King was looking at you, his hand waving to help draw your attention. When he noticed you looking he offered a friendly smile, one you returned without hesitation. The fact that he seemed much nicer outside of the club confused you, but you were going to continue to believe that he was wearing a mask at Nocturnal. You at least hoped that was the mask and this version of him wasn't. Not that you cared…since you were being smarter and all that…
King raised his hand to his head, his fingers shifting so that his thumb was at his ear and his pinky at his mouth. The universal symbol for ‘phone’. Was he asking for your number? Your brows furrowed slightly, your thoughts running rampant. This was not something you had seen coming. At least he was asking instead of simply taking it from your file, though. 
Nodding, you brushed your hair away from your shoulder to ready yourself for the task of using your hands to communicate your phone number. You slowly tossed up each number, hot neighbor looking from you to his phone every time until he had all the information he needed. Seconds later, your phone vibrated, a message from an unknown number popping up. You immediately saved it under ‘hot neighbor', naturally. 
HOT NEIGHBOR: Hello, neighbor. 
You arched an eyebrow at the simple greeting, your eyes briefly glancing back up to where he still stood across the walkway. He was looking at you, phone in hand, patiently waiting for your response. 
YOU: Caught you staring. 
HOT NEIGHBOR: I decided to take a play from your book. 
HOT NEIGHBOR: Seems like it worked. 
You couldn't fight the smile that spread across your lips. Your teeth sunk down into the lower tier while you simultaneously shifted so you were sitting down on your couch again. Your back to the window to keep the view of your face hidden. The last thing you needed was hot neighbor seeing you smile as you made the mistake of getting closer to him. 
YOU: Are you watching cartoons? 
HOT NEIGHBOR: I'm an adult, Genevieve. It's anime. 
The use of your work name made your lips twist in distaste. You were already pretending to be a different person in your day to day life. You didn't need to mix things up even more with the addition of your Nocturnal alias. Something about it just didn't sit right with you. 
YOU: You can call me by my actual name when we're not at work. 
Funny, since even that also wasn't your actual name.
HOT NEIGHBOR: I guess that means I should extend the same courtesy to you. 
YOU: Is King not your name? 
HOT NEIGHBOR: It's a nickname from when Jolly and I were younger. 
The gray typing bubbles continued to pop up and disappear, as if he was unsure of what to say. You watched them do the same dance a few times, your curiosity rising by the second. What could he possibly be typing? 
HOT NEIGHBOR: My name is Noah. 
X X X
Three hours. That's how long you spent texting with Noah the previous night and you were definitely feeling it. Two Red Bulls, a cup of black coffee, and a couple of pieces of some weird energy gum Mel had told you about wasn't even enough to keep you from yawning every few minutes. Yes, you were exhausted, but you didn't regret a minute of it. Maybe you would one day when you were forced to remember why getting close to people was a bad idea, but you were going to live in ignorant bliss until then. 
“I told you not to run yourself into the ground.” Red wagged his finger at you like a stereotypical grandfather would. “It was going to come back and bite you in the ass.” 
You laughed, shaking your head at him. You continued to go through the motions of folding his linens as he hobbled into the room with the help of his solid wooden cane. Red was a kind man, at least from what you could tell. He enjoyed reciting stories to you from his heyday and introducing you to new foods that his personal chef would whip up. You disliked a lot of them because of how picky you were but Red got a kick out of listening to your outlandish comparisons. 
“I know, I know,” you heavily sighed. “I was off from the club yesterday, but I still stayed up too late.” 
Red released a breath as he lowered himself down into his favorite sitting chair. His eyes remained on you, a knowing smile occupying his lived-in face. “You're too young to get caught up in the headache of boys. Or girls. Or whoever you're interested in. You need to live a little first.”
You both laughed as you set the neatly folded sheets aside and began working on the basket of towels. If only Red knew that you had ‘lived’ enough for multiple lifetimes. None of which you had any desire to relive. So why were you going down the same path with Noah? Of course you didn't want to believe that's what was happening because it felt so good in the beginning stages like this, but you knew better than anyone how it could abruptly turn and crash. You had the scars to prove it. 
“I'm not getting caught up. I promise. I'm just…making friends.”
“Friends,” Red snorted. “That's how I ended up with five kids, by making friends.” 
“Red!” You lightly smacked his arm with the towel in your grasp, your lighthearted laughter continuing. It felt good to be able to have a relaxing conversation like this, even if it was with an older man pushing eighty. In your opinion this only meant he was better at giving advice than anyone else in your life. 
Still grinning, he reached for the remote on the side table by his chair and turned the TV on. Before you knew it, a CSI rerun was on and Red was leaned back, lightly snoring. 
X X X 
HOT NEIGHBOR: What are you doing? 
You used one hand to retrieve your phone from your back pocket as the other placed a small pile of washcloths in the hall linen closet. Your heart began to race when you saw who the message was from, cheeks instantly reddening. Well…fuck. That wasn't a good sign for your mental well being. 
YOU: Folding an old man’s laundry at my day job. Yes, it's just as exciting as it sounds. 
HOT NEIGHBOR: Drop a pin and I'll bring you coffee. 
You had to give it to him, he surely was straight to the point. You did as he said because what harm could come from a quick coffee visit? Plus, you desperately needed more caffeine. You would take an IV of it straight into the vein if it was offered to you. 
Half an hour later you received a message from Noah saying that he was outside. You took a glance at Red’s still sleeping form as you tip toed out of the house, carefully maneuvering your way down the narrow stone path that led to a small black wrought iron gate. It was only waist high, but it was a nice little touch in front of his city mansion. Typically flowers would be lining the path as well, but the frigid air kept them at bay for now. 
Arms crossed over your chest, your eyes zeroed in on Noah who was standing on the sidewalk. He was once again wearing his usual black on black attire, black gloves, and a black coat to finish off the look. How was he so effortlessly attractive? You could assume he was heading for the club based on his outfit alone. Not only that, but he appeared perplexed. His brows were furrowed, his eyes constantly looking up and down the sidewalk like he was on the search for someone. 
“Hey,” you breathed out into the cold as you stepped closer after latching the small gate behind you. Noah extended the second coffee to you which you graciously took and immediately sipped from. You didn't even want to know how he knew your coffee order. Sure, it was simple, but how did he get it so perfect? 
“This is where you work?” He motioned to the large brick building behind you. You glanced back at the house along with him, nodding. 
“Yeah, it's pretty easy. I'm basically a glorified errand runner slash housekeeper.” 
Noah slowly nodded, though his puzzled look refused to break. You weren't at the point yet where you could call him out for it, at least not in the way you would've wanted by just being straight forward. 
“Everything okay?” You eventually asked, to which Noah relaxed his shoulders and smiled at you. 
“Sorry, yeah. I was just remembering something I needed to do at the club.” 
“Oh, okay. Well, how much do I owe you for the coffee?” 
“What? No, you don't owe me anything.” He was now peering at you as if you had two heads. “Consider it an apology for keeping you up so late.” 
“No apology needed.” You wanted to tell Noah that you actually enjoyed talking to him. He made you feel comfortable, as odd as that may have sounded since he was still practically a stranger. But you didn't. You skirted the topic completely. “Did you want to come inside? I didn't mean to leave you standing out here in the cold.” 
“I've really got to get to the club. I just wanted to see you for a minute”. 
“Well…you've seen me.” You laughed, your hip dipping a bit and your free hand motioning towards yourself. Fuck, that was so lame. Hopefully it wasn't too obvious to him that you were completely out of your comfort zone. You weren't good at this sort of thing. You couldn't even remember the last time you had tried genuinely flirting with someone. 
Noah's dark eyes focused on yours, his look intense. You felt bared beneath his gaze, vulnerable, but something about it kept you hanging on. 
“That I have.” 
NOAH
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 
He tried not to seem too flustered as he said his goodbyes to you and headed down the street. The further he walked from your eyesight, the faster his steps became. Noah hated leaving you like that because he could sense your confusion but it was for the best. There was no telling who within that house was watching you with him and he didn't want to put your well being in danger anymore than he probably already had. 
As he turned the corner, he quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Jolly. It only took two rings for him to pick up because Jolly knew better than anyone that he didn't call people. He actually despised talking on the phone. He would only do it for Jolly and now maybe you too, if that's what you wanted. 
“We have a problem,” he breathed out the moment the call connected. Dark eyes continued to dart about, every nerve in his body on edge. 
“What kind of problem?” 
“Our lovely little Genevieve is working for the enemy.” 
There was a long moment of silence and then Jolly sighed. “Which enemy?” 
“The worst one.” Noah didn't need to give any further explanation. His best friend knew how hard it was for him to think about the past, let alone talk about it. After all, it wasn't everyday he was plunged back into the memories of the night his parents were killed. 
CHAPTER THREE
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duxfemina · 7 months ago
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Continuing the previous ask can you please rank : crassus, claudius,Tiberius, Hadrian, Trajan, Catiline and Marius.
Crassus - he's not gonna be a pervy creep but if I have property he wants he's gonna harass me until I relinquish it to save my reputation. Also any road side assistance he gives me will have to be paid for but of course he won't tell me that until after he's already repaired my vehicle. 4/10 I'm not gonna be treated violently I'm just gonna be extorted
Claudius - he will make sure I'm provided for with safety and comfort as long as I'm under his protection. He also may get a little assuming seeing as he's an emperor and I now owe him. Claudius definitely had more ladies than you'd expect if the sources are to be believed but hey the guy actually took women's opinions somewhat seriously so who's to say this wouldn't be consensual. Still a power dynamic so I'm giving it 6/10 on the Creepometer
Tiberius - a gentleman, would do everything absolutely so properly. Would make sure all honor was accorded me for my rank, would punish any breach of this by his men. Would probably want to discuss Homer over dinner and who am I to turn down poetic discussions over dinner with the emperor. This man was the absolute antithesis of pervy CONTRARY TO SUETONIUS (fuck you Suetonius) 10/10 literally nothing is going to go wrong. Couldn't pick a better first century man to come along and help you out. He may be awkward as hell and probably have a touch of the tism or something else that impeded his social understanding but he was absolutely all about maintaining tradition and doing things properly.
Hadrian - I don't know a ton about Hadrian other than the wall and Antinuous and the fact he hated his wife. But I'm gonna say he'd probably delegate a commander under him to make sure you were taken care of and set back on your way in good order. 6/10 he's not gonna be too interested so if he delegates it to a good guy you're great, but he might just as likely have assigned a creep
Trajan - shit I know even less about Trajan. I know about his column and that he was a good general. I'm feeling it's gonna be like Tiberius but now with social skills and maybe less poetry so 9/10 because I'd rather be with a nerd than have boring polite conversation
Catiline - depending on who you are this road side assistance might turn into abduction if it's exiled Catiline but come on it's Catiline that's gonna be one consensual abduction from me. All the more so if hypothetical me is a relative of Cicero. I basically always am gonna pick the option that gives M.T. Chickpea an aneurysm if I can do so. Also Catiline was brave in battle and honestly is rather dashing and just a little rakish. So 7/10 just in case this abduction isn't super consensual for some reason, as in Catiline doesn't care whether I'm into him or not, which given he's an enemy of Cicero there's probably a good chance Catiline has more respect for women than Chickpea, that tends to be a theme
Marius - the man is such a try hard and wants so desperately to be considered as in with the in crowd while simultaneously resenting that he has to play the political game that helping a Patrician damsel is exactly the kind of politic move that would appeal to him, it's an action rather than an intrigue. So he'd be clumsily falling all over himself to make sure I was treated as well as possible while also blundering in ways he's unaware of and probably mentioning his deeds a little too often and too loudly whenever he's around my relatives after the event as to seem very couth. 8/10 the man's trying. The treatment is gonna be quite good just a little awkward, over the top and there will probably be some blind spot like forgetting to assign a private space for bathroom use or some other feminine accomodation
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gerogerigaogaigar · 8 months ago
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Now that we've listened to the cadence of rappers through the interplay between the flow and beats it is time to listen to what rappers are saying. Rap has its own language made up of metaphors and references that can intimidate new listeners, but there is one skill that should be easy for anyone to appreciate. Storytelling. These songs are some of the best storytelling that hip-hop has to offer. And Storytelling is one of rap's strong suits so really this is some of the best storytelling that music has to offer!
The Art Of Peer Pressure Kendrick is why were here right? Well he is probably the best lyricist in rap history. The Art Of Peer Pressure may not be his biggest hit but it is unparalleled in terms of storytelling. Kendrick describes a night as a teen in Compton. Him and his friends emulating the violence heard on their favorite rap albums. The story seems simple, but the message is complex. He disavows every action he engages in saying that he's normally sober, normally peaceful, but he's with the homies right now. As the title suggests its a story about how peer pressure helps reproduce systems of violence.
Children's Story Slick Rick is the storyteller of all time. It honestly baffles me how naturally he communicates this simple fable without missing a beat. It flows so casually that you actually forget that he's maintaining rhyme throughout.
Gold Simple fables about street violence are extremely common in hip-hop. This one builds bravado and avarice until the tragic ending where the singer buries his mother before he can use all the money he's attained on her.
I Left My Wallet In El Segundo And now for the lowest stakes in any rap story. This is the gripping story of Q-Tip trying to remember where he left his wallet. The energy of a couple of friends trying to retrace their steps is actually really relatable though.
It Was A Good Day I've seen people on here try to use the details of this song's lyrics to pinpoint the exact date Cube was talking about. It's a simple song, but the simplicity belies some depth. It's pretty telling that to Ice Cube playing basketball and dominoes with his friends is on the same level as not getting harassed by the police or shot.
Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa De La Soul decided to ditch the fun and games on Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa. seriously content warning for frank discussion of csa. The tense story of a girl who is brought to the point of desperation because no one will believe that she is being abused. Its dark stuff and extremely well told.
Neighbors J. Cole dodged a bullet when he decided not to actually beef with Kendrick. Which is good cause I actually like Cole's music. Neighbors is about J. Cole tried to move into a nice house in a white neighborhood and got harassed until he was forced to leave. He meditates on the fact that fame can't actually stop the baked in racism at the heart of America.
Hey Mama If you want to know why fans are mourning Kanye or even hoping for him to get better instead of just dropping him like a rock look no further than Hey Mama. This ode to his mother is the sweetest song ever made. I'm kinda glad Donda West didn't have to see what her son turned into.
Just A Friend Biz Markie is the clown prince of hip-hop. his flow is goofy, the beat is kinda wonky, and the story is simple. And then he just kinda yells the hook like he's half drunk. It is either gonna charm you right away or annoy you. Just A Friend is the kind of stupid that I always fall in love with and it's enduring popularity is proof that others feel the same.
Fat Cats, Bigga Fish The Coup are the group that would eventually make the film Sorry To Bother You. Fat Cats, Bigga Fish is a deftly told story whose moral is "stealing is only illegal if you aren't rich"
To Be Continued ===> Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
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peppertaemint · 1 year ago
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This TaeKey situation is so messed up. Like, I don't blame people for being upset, or hurt, and wanting to let the guys know that the things they say can affect others negatively...  but at the same time the way this is going down is wild. I never thought I'd see shawols react to them like this.
The number of people(some of them that I've been following for a while, who always seemed mature and level headed) who were positively gleeful talking about Taemin and Key "getting their lashings". Calling them disgusting, saying they deserve what's coming to them, they don't want to see anything from them unless it's an apology "with tears" and all the other generally insulting things that people have been saying about their appearances and them as people.
It's like people were just waiting for their moment to turn. Or they're so desperate to show that they're "good" and they're not one of "those" fans that puts idols on a pedestal that they've gone tol far in the opposite direction and just gotten nasty.
Like, maybe I'm stupid, maybe I am one of those fans that's putting them on a pedestal but I'd like to think that Taekey are generally good kind people who always do their best to be respectful. Of course they're gonna fuck up every so often. There isn't a person alive who doesn't have some kind of internal bias about something, whether they're aware of it or not. But when someone I care about screws up, I would think the best course of action would be to say "hey, I know you probably didn't mean it maliciously, but the connotations of what you said are kind of shitty. Especially to people with darker skin tones and I hope you can consider that going forward" my first thought wouldnt be to call them disgusting and essentially get a megaphone to announce their fuckup all over social media so as many people as possible can see it and join the hate train.
I just hate this so much. And now stupid sm is just editing the video and the members probably have no clue about it and the people who are angry are getting even angrier and even more nasty.
I wish Taekey could address this but unfortunately I really don't see it happening and then it's like,where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here? A good question.
I think that where we don't go, but it's too late because it's already happening, is commenting on Taemin's IG that he should collaborate with Morgan Wallen. How is that helpful? It's disingenuous.
As someone from Canada, TaeKey's words were gross and not cool. But I also understand that they aren't from my culture, and because I watch a lot of Korean content, I know what is seen as acceptable there. That doesn't mean it's acceptable to me personally.
They deserve fans telling them how they feel honestly. And I think in the majority of cases that has happened. But like you say, some people are taking this extremely far and turning it into an excuse to be nasty, when I don't think TaeKey meant anything other than childish/ignorant making fun. That doesn't mean what they said was okay or should be overlooked, but intention and someone's character does count for something, does it not?
People keep leaving all sorts of remarks on IG, WeVerse, Twitter etc so I would say at this point, they should be aware there's a large swathe of the fandom unhappy. I did put my thoughts on WeVerse and Bubble - but I did that once and let it be. I'm not harassing people.
SM editing the video makes it worse because clearly management or at least the YouTube team know about the issue. But from what I heard, they didn't edit it well, and I think that speaks to the lack of knowledge around this issue. The staff members likely don't understand fully what the issue is and how it makes fans from certain areas feel, so they guessed at how to make it better and mostly failed.
Cultural exchange is full of this kind of uncomfortable stuff. It's easier when it's on a personal level, because then we can have a conversation with the person/people directly. We can't exactly do that, but fans have social media to use, which they are.
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troius · 3 years ago
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Sorry if you've been asked this before, but do you have any fave characters in bleach? Or least fave ones?
I've never been asked this before! I've honestly received very few of these general asks, so if you've ever had any questions for me, don't hesitate to send them in.
Anyhow, the fave characters thing is interesting, because I love Bleach, and I think Kubo generally did an awesome job on his characters. Even people who didn't get the development they should have still keep me intrigued, in part because I'm desperate for them to finally get that development. So the characters I'm listing here are less who is best, and more who do I relate to personally. Answers TK:
My favorite, which may not come as a surprise to you, is Uryu Ishida. I think he's probably the character I connect with the most easily, and if you don't believe me, read my tag for him. I think I've gotten better at this liveblog thing as it's gone on, but I still think my posts from Quincy Archer Hates You are among the best I've done because of how easy it was for me to relate to him-- there's an adolescent frustration, a desire for meaning, and a sense of injustice that really reflects who I was at that age, and it's a pleasure to see Uryu grow past the negativity in his life, and find meaning as an adult.
The flip side of all that is Orihime Inoue. Orihime is fantastic, an aspirational figure in many ways, because her sense of morality is so wonderfully idealistic, but in a very mature way. She really does have more reasons than anybody to resent the world she's a part of, but she believes in the inherent good in all people despite that. That's really powerful, and her journey isn't one to overcome inner flaws of perspective, but to motivate herself to do the things that are necessary to live in the world she wants. I love that-- I think I have a pretty good perspective on the world at this point in my life (I'd better...) but I still find myself struggling to self-motivate, to seize the moment, to be the change I want to see. It's a very human struggle, and Orihime I think embodies it the best out of our characters.
Anyhow this is getting rather long, so I'll just say that I like basically all of the characters in this manga, and if you go through my character tags you can probably figure out how I feel about everybody. But there are a couple more complicated cases with relatively minor characters I'd like to mention real quick:
I completely despise Kon, or at least what he turned into. You've got this really interesting exploration of artificial intelligence, which all turns out to be set-up for a pervert mascot. It's not really to my taste.
Which is gonna make it weird when I say I like Chizuru. Well, like might be a bit strong of a word, but I do really enjoy her interactions with Tatsuki, because it's one of the few interactions that puts Tatsuki center-square, and is probably the biggest textual pointer to "Tatsuki likes girls" that we have, doing so in an admirably indirect way. Albeit one involving comedic sexual harassment, which sucks, and really shouldn't be a part of any form of art.
And then finally, probably my most controversial opinion is that I absolutely loathe Kisuke Urahara. It kind of blows my mind that the guy is as popular as he is, when he spends the entire first two arcs of the story outright manipulating our main characters (who are mostly teenagers) and risking their lives for his benefit.
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greensaplinggrace · 4 years ago
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Okay I just to clarify before I start. I desperately wanted Alina alone at the end of the books, I wanted her to have her powers and to grow as a person before getting into any relationship because she was only 17/18 she had so much time to discover herself! Ugh, but I still enjoyed Nikolai, Aleksander and yes even Mal, but as their own person, not attached to a ship.
But I just gotta say I think the thing that really messes up the Shadow and Bone fandom is the hardcore shippers... Not the chill people that are like "cool you don't like my ship that's fine, I'm still gonna ship it so have a great day" but I'm talking about the people that CONSTANTLY bitch and whine about another characters in the book/show just because they get in the way of their ship. Like you'd have a better time if you just enjoyed the character you like and not need to bombard the other tags with your hate. This goes for every damn man people ship Alina with. Like what you want to like just don't be a dick about it lol
Btw nice blog by the way, honey 💙
Tbh I think this is true for almost every fandom. Shipping wars are probably my absolute least favorite thing about engaging in fandom spaces these days, and honestly just the term shipping wars makes me want to throw something. Like why is this even a war?! Why are people harassing and bullying each other over fictional couples?! It's fucking batshit. Don't call your silly little hate boner at people who appreciate a certain couple the product of a war lmao. It's barely a schoolyard fight.
The worst I've ever seen it was the ffvii fandom, which is... so much worse than the sab fandom. Honestly the drama here seems like a drop in the ocean of what happens over in the ffvii fandom, let me tell you. But at the same time the Grishaverse fandom seems to have it pretty bad. I mean just the cross-tagging alone is enough to put it on the radar. People will just say the worst things about other shippers or ships and then tag every single character and event in the show. Like holy shit just say you have a superiority complex and go.
Like you'd have a better time if you just enjoyed the character you like and not need to bombard the other tags with your hate.
Yeah its pretty telling when an anti will go on and on about how shippers only appreciate Alina and other female characters as assets to the male characters and how they're plaguing the character tags with shipping stuff and how if people really loved the characters individually they wouldn't focus so much on the ship, and then they'll turn around and post like 50 anti shipping posts into a dozen character tags, half of which aren't even relevant, and completely clog up the fandom tags with their disgusting bullshit. The hypocrisy is ridiculous lmao.
Like you'd have a better time if you just enjoyed the character you like and not need to bombard the other tags with your hate.
☝☝☝ I wish every anti in the fandom thought this way. Stick to the anti tags and stop assuming everyone wants to see you harass an entire group of people just minding their own business. Absolutely stunning and amazing content for your so called favorite character gets missed and pushed back and drowned out every day because of posts about how much you don't like a random ass ship. Literally nobody who likes that character cares. Keep it to yourself or the tags made for a post exactly like that one.
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eisforeidolon · 4 years ago
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'stiel shippers are already making up conspiracy theories about how 15x19 ending is actually a fake, homophobic ending meant to fool people and 15x20 will have the true ending where Cass comes back and their ship becomes unequivocally, mutually canon and it's endgame. They've gone full TJLC with the fix-it episode theory and I can't say that I'm surprised at all.
Yeah, negative levels of surprise there. 
When Misha was posting all those travel pictures from around the US while J2 were quarantining, it was all a ruse!  TPTB made him post old pictures to hide where he was and his generic motel rooms could be in Vancouver!  He lives in Washington, so that’s probably close enough he doesn’t have to quarantine anyway!  They can’t leave the guy who saVeD tEH ShOw out of the last two episodes!!  Doesn’t matter that they let the actors spoil Mark P. and Jake A. and Jim B.’s returns, nah, they had to try and keep whether Misha was there or not a surprise!
Now this.  They managed to recognize when an episode was pandering to bibros with 15x19.  Which honestly was a bit of an accomplishment for them, given the hilarious exercise in palpable denial their “meta” about Red Meat is.  It certainly isn’t even all of them that managed it, given the usual blinkered nonsense floating around declaring Dean being drunk is desolation about Castiel (not, you know, hopelessness their whole world is still gonna end and everybody is gone but him, Sam, and Jack - just like their Mary who? nonsense in season 13).  Not to mention the insisting to each other Dean was totally willing to kill Sam to get Cas back, lalalalaing right through how the brothers were offering to kill each other and both be gone for the revival of, again, everybody else.  I digress ... and go on for a bit after this, so have a cut:
The point is, they recognize that having the Winchesters drive off into the sunset together is pandering to bibros, but they refuse to accept that whole scene destroying Castiel’s character was just pandering to them.  Despite how out of nowhere with zero previous buildup to support it being twue lurve it was.  Despite how this was supposedly planned for a year, yet the characters have been more at odds than ever.  Despite how one-sided it was.  Despite how, no matter how much they keep insisting to people in the comments under official CW posts that there is NO WAY to see it as anything but romantic, non-shippers and more casual fans keep daring to say they see it as familial (the NERVE!).  Despite how, while you could fairly say it’s become The Jack Show in recent years, it has never been the Dean & Cas show outside of shippers’ fevered imaginations.  So while pandering to them any harder than was already done is gonna get some WTF from the general audience?  Pandering to bibros just means making Sam & Dean’s show about ... Sam & Dean.  Which nobody in the general audience is gonna bat an eye at.
Doesn’t matter that the network president still talks about doing a revival with, specifically, J2.  Doesn’t matter most of the legitimate press over the series ending focuses particularly on J2 and Sam & Dean’s ending.  Doesn’t matter that the ones the actual co-showrunners consulted about tweaking the finale scripts post-COVID are, repeat it with me, J2.  Jared is totally a cheerleader for their ship, we know this because reasons!  Jensen must have changed his mind since last time he said his character was straight, because nobody’s asked him in the last five minutes and that’s the “right” answer they want him to say!  Misha said Jensen was totally into it and Misha *cough* never lies!
As I’ve said before, I put nothing 100% past Dabb.  I would not be even a little surprised if we get at least somebody mentioning somewhere next episode that Castiel got resurrected off-screen again.  Or if there’s some implication the brothers see him again in a way shippers could pretend totally had to involve hooking up with Dean. However, while we know Misha will bend whichever way the minion $$$ wind blows, and Dabb comes off as desperate for ass-pats on twitter from the hellers & minions blowing smoke up his ass?  He has played both sides for years in ways the general audience can dismiss (again, hard to do that and make reciprocated twue lurve “cannon”).  Dabb is also a co-showrunner with Singer who isn’t all over fandom and seemed kind bemused by it and previously said the ship was never discussed as a thing in the writer’s room while the ‘hellers were insisting their secret storyline was totes in there, guise. 
Likewise, I would be very surprised if after years of being harassed by a handful of disrespectful asshole “fans” to do so, Jensen agreed to just give in and change the character he’s been very invested in playing for fifteen years to please those jerks.  For something that suddenly and arbitrarily changes the character’s sexuality away from how he has explicitly said he has been playing it for fifteen years for a 40+ year old character in the very last episode.  For something Misha has implied he and Berens went behind his back to do in terms of Castiel’s end - that any idiot with two brain cells to rub together could figure out would lead to more harassment directed his way especially if he dared object (and would be objecting to another actor’s choices for their own character). For something that undermines what he has said repeatedly that he sees as the fundamental basis of the show.
None of that matters, though!  They’ve convinced themselves that they’re the only real audience and only they know the true story - the rest of us are just some sad definitely tiny group of pathetic hangers on that don’t understand the show has Changed Now and is really about the grEatEST LurVe stORy nEVeR tolD!  It’s what their whole echo chamber the whole audience wants ... because they say so!  
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survivormetaverse · 4 years ago
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Episode 12 - "i'm baaaaaacckkkkk 😈" ~Jodi
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An iconic moment happened today and I accidentally voted my closest ally out of the game. So Brayden got sent home and he is going to hate me when he finds out what happened. I did kind of get him out on accident I did not mean for Brayden to go I wanted Jay gone but I was blindsided by Colin and Josh and Elle AND AMY!!??]£[_[3 Omg. Im really upset that hes gone i miss him so much and I dont know how Im gonna go on without his brain. I dont trust Jay but Jared and Jay were both messaging me about how they already forgive me and stuff so thats a little crazy. I think it could be fake or they are just desperate for numbers. But I am with Josh and Amy and Colin and Elle now. I want to be with their numbers. I talked to all of them individually and they said they all were sorry for lying to me and causing me to get my friend out. I know its just a game but I just feel awful and so guilty right now. This has probably been the worst day of my life. He probably will never play another org with me again and hes the only reason i play orgs its boring without him. We are best friends increal life and I hope he can forgive me. I havent said anything to him because thats breaking the rules. But when he finds out im literally so scared of what he'll say to me. I pray he will forgive me I am literally so dumb af.
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i'm baaaaaacckkkkk..................... 😈
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This is literally worst case right now with jodi winning the play back like throughout the day she has won back her allies including anastasia since she swapped coins with her. Elle, colin, and josh all gave me all their coins to grab immunity before the other side to protect me but also it makes me a bigger target lol plus I gave elle some swapped to get the second thing the leftover because I THOUGHT it could give us an extra vote since that was ony menu but I was tired and drunk and it was a LOT of words and it was just the hunts which I knew didn't have any and I feel terrible bc 150 tokens and my actual alliance is going to be so mad when they realize THAT I HAVE THE LAST ONES and fucked up in suggesting it at all. First they were going for info. So now I think Jodi got all the other sides tokens and they are pooling for something idek. It's literally worst case like we were set to be up 5-2 or at least 4-3 and now it looks like it's 4-4 again hahaha neat. And it looks like colin is chatting with jodi again and they are making deals lol like tbh if she gets to the end I am voting for her to win I've said it many rounds. Turns out anastasia and brayden not only know each other irl they are besties so she mad mad. And Josh looks to be making deals and thinking about flipping so I am on borrowed time but tbh I never expected to make merge. I am glad I have immunity bc I physically couldn't do the challenge anywU here lol and I fucked that up too hahahaha. Good times all around. Like I want to tell them about my steal a vote to have official numbers but now they'd just be mad hahaha literally colin and I had every advantage except jared's idol now. Ahhhh idk what to do but it remains hilarious. I'm expecting Raffy to give my info in these in the market and that is no bueno ahahahaha. I am tempted to just give colin everything bc it's funny. Also jodi talked to me until 1am just trying to guilt me into being back with her I said I have to sleep goodnight like 5 times minimum. Her social game is so good that's why I think she has them all back with her and possibly josh. The problem is that I was keeping her close bc she had the info from others and from my game. I really never had a number one lol bc I was just vibing and I guess now colin is bc I flipped with him lol and I think it's hilarious he grew his army from 0 to 5 almost.
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I have a suspicion colin and anastasia have actually been closely aligned this whole time and she knew everything all along. Colin sure loves giving out info haha. And apparently deals are happening all over, none of which I have made 😂
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Jodi's backkkkk, wild wild wilddddd. The challenge went poorly, darn thats like 20 minutes wasted. We bought the refresh and there was nothing there 💔 that's 150 tokens wasted 😅. But! We got Amy immunity✨ and then Colin won the challenge so tbh everything's still going great lol. Wonder how we're gonna vote this round :/ we'll see how this goes! I've stopped worrying whether I'm going completely, it either happens or it doesn't 💖 xoxo, gossip girl (this is misleading I HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW i just know way too much about it because i have friends that did lol)
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So after I voted my showmance Brayden out of the game I was left with an interesting situation. I had cried to Josh Colin and Amy that I was alone now and that my whole alliance hated me. With Jodi back in, I dont think they believe me. I literally flipped sides so I could be in their alliance because I didnt trust Jay and Jared and Jodi. But they literally lied to me about the vote and said it was nothing personal to me but they didnt tell me the plan because they wanted to see if I was lying. Which sucks for me because I then voted Brayden out :( Now that they know that im truthful they said they would work with me now. But all of them have been pretty inactive today. I talked to Amy the most and a little Colin and a little Josh. But I wasnt in their alliance. So I asked Amy if I could be added into an alliance chat since I was apperently in their alliance now. And she said sure. And they added me to a vote block. That is not an alliance group chat btw. So I was like wow thanks. But inside I was like screw this. So before this all happened, Jodi, Jay and Jared put me in a true alliance group chat. This morning I was ready to work with Colin and Josh but not anymore. Not after they put me in a vote block chat clearly saying to me that I am just a number to be used. They don't even need my vote either because Amy has an idol and Amy and Colin are safe. So I'm obviously voting with Jay, Jared, and Jodi. And I know they probably have a final three without me. They could call it something really cool like the three J's. But I called Jay and explained everything to him. (Also Jay forgave me for literally trying to get him out. He umderstands that its a game and all of my motives about not trusting him anymore.) He said he would be a hypocrite if he didnt forgive me because he told people my name in the chaos vote. So I actually think we are cool. And I told Jay that I am his number one. Which is true. He told me a lot of things about how Amy is actually really smart and stuff (I thought that girl was just a goat that I could take to the end with me) But her and colin are tight and both immune. This is bad. Basically we will go to rocks unless Elle flips to our side. Jay is giving his pitch to Elle tommarow. And maybe I will apologize to her correctly tomarow too. ALSO SPELLING THE WORD TOMARROW IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE. Also I took 62 minutes to complete a puzzle today so thats kind of emberassing. Anyways bye everyone this was so much fun to type omg.
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Lol I woke up to a text from jodi asking if anyone was taking about votes yet and I said no because I went to sleep early bc I almost passed out from heat yesterday and had just woke up and she responded "ummmm lol...." 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry I sleep. She's in Colin's dms saying how I was legit her number one and now we can't even talk about votes. Like yeah girl we worked our asses off to get you out of the game sorry I'm not happy you are back. Also I'm still at disney world so I don't have the time for a million conversations. I know I'm going to be the Russell Hanz of the f3 /if/ I make it. So what's jury management lol like she was already pissed I voted her out and I plan to do it again. Anyway it looks like it's hilariously about to be a unanimous jay vote tonight but I am thinking we throw one vote somewhere else in case of an idol. But if jodi did get anastasia back we can't do that. Anyway lol I'm immune so whatever. Elle and Colin discussed like if it's on elle (which apparently jared proposed an alliance of 5 which included myself lol!) Then we could go to rocks and have only josh as a possibility and statistically he won't go if he is willing to go to rocks that it. All this to say I'm f7 and I want to keep my extra vote to f6 if possible so I can use the idol for fun at f5.
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https://youtu.be/snpKevncc44
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My quest has come to an end. I joined this game to be someone who could be there for Jodi. Jodi and I played survivor subrosa together and we both had rough experiences due to a player in the game who harassed jodi and tried to convince everyone I was misogynistic. As much as I love Survivor, I didn’t play this game to win. I played this game because Jodi told me she was playing it and I wanted to be her body guard. I wanted to be someone who could be there for her both as a number but also as an enforcer, anybody who ever dared to do anything to Jodi would’ve had to have dealt with me. Tonight, Amy and Colin have immunity, and either amy or josh or elle have an idol, so there’s no point in making any noise tonight and wasting Jared’s idol. None of those 4 trust me, and I doubt any of them like me. It is what it is, it’s best for Jodi, Jared, and Anastasia’s game to move forward without me, and it’s smart for Jared to keep his idol. Tonight, I will be voted out, and I am 100% at peace with it. 
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Since Elle, Josh, Amy and Colin pooled their tokens for immunity and advantage refresh, it means all the advantages and disadvantages are on our side. Plan is to send Elle a disadvantage and let Colin know because honestly it’s not hard to find out anyways. Jay doesn’t mind getting booted at some point cuz he wants to stand for me on the jury, but I don’t want to boot him right now. Obviously they won’t boot Elle, so I’m going to see if Jared will propose Anastasia. The thing right now is me/Jay/Anastasia/Jared also know next round is invisible. So I want Jay or Anastasia to send Colin and Amy disadvantages because if they’re paranoid seeing me Jared/Jay/Anastasia have advantages and they have disadvantages, they might be paranoid enough to play all their idols. I also wanted to keep Jay for this round as it’d be unanimous and something everyone can settle on. Jared wanted to do me/Jared/Josh/Amy/Colin as an alliance but has concerns about the 3 of them being in top 5 in the majority snd also Colin having his ideal f3. I told him my plan has the best shot at flushing all idols and hopefully we can either get Josh to flip or at least have Amy/Colin vulnerable at 5/6. Last thing is Jared is worried he’d be blindsided this round. I told him my plan and I said even if he wanted to flush his idol this round, next round should be ok if we all vote out Jay and the rest of them flush idols. Good to be back in the game! I genuinely believe Colin wants me as a shield at least for this round, and if I can make it through, I have a game to play. 
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Not everyone saying they only bought an advantage lol what about those other 70 tokens 👀👀👀 Like it must be jay unless someone is lying haha i am hoping people are just busy bc these answers I'm getting from Josh and Colin are concerning 😂 It looks like only elle and got disadvantages ☠️ I am really hoping not to be a target next round even though I know I will be haha. Next round is only 7 and I'd love to take out jodi and jared before they turn on me ☠️ especially since colin creeped on jodi's insta and it is possible they know each other from sports irl. And she was so concerned about all these pregame connections 😂 and here it was likely to deflect. Anyway I just swapped my position of having jodi do all the social work with having colin do all the social work knowing full well I'm not gonna get those end votes. I'm just trying to pull up my placement average now 😂. I hope everyone sees me as having no social game to take me to the end lol bc realistically I don't bc I don't care to put in that time this game. As I write from the pirates of the caribbean line 😂 So anyway if I'm not being lied to which I might be it looks like unanimous jay tonight but also I think the other group was talking split on jay like a 3-3-2 and I'm like wait the 2 wouldn't help. Elle are you okay with that? So I think they must have figured out I have stuff ☠️ I wonder what people REALLY bought haha okay bye
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Jodi is back, not just Jodi Jodi, but player Jodi. Player Jodi thinks a LOT. When I was out, the entire time I was hoping somebody caught on that Amy flipped because they knew to put a stray vote on Colin to protect him from chaos idol, but they left Josh exposed. Why? Because Colin knew Amy was going to throw a vote on Josh. Also, Colin tied with me for closest ally and that set off an alarm too. Onto the next. So Colin won immunity, Amy bought immunity, but this could possibly be good because it means they are playing knowing they are not at risk themselves. Anastasia is voting with them this round, but she's actually working with us. She told us that the actual plan on that side is: "Jay, Jared, Jodi vote elle and Elle, Amy, Colin vote Jay and Josh and Anastasia vote Jodi" Anastasia will vote me here to continue "working" with them for the next vote. Essentially, they thought that Jay had the merge idol this whole time and Colin was weary about it, and that's why he got nervous about sending out Jay last round. That told me Colin did not have the merge idol. Josh came to me too about Jay having the merge idol. But the way they're splitting the votes this round shows me now that somebody has stepped forward to mention they have it (likely Elle) because if Jay idoled, Elle goes in this split vote plan. Therefore, somebody must've been like "ok let's just be safe and split the votes, I have the other idol". That's good and bad because now Colin has no merge idol paranoia, and they're also able to use it together. It also did confirm to me they've talked about it. Here's where things get tricky. Player Jodi is so tempted to run with it and do a 4-3-1 Josh-Jay-Jodi but it's so risky and could possibly destroy the long term social game, especially if they idol for Josh and Jay goes anyway (we are not idoling for him here). So instead, I'm going to use Jay's vote out to the best of my advantage. Hopefully flush an idol if possible, maybe a steal-a-vote, something. Knowing about next round being invisible is good info for us. Having this info is so key and usually I would think that immunity for a round is bigger than this but being able to plan ahead for a GAME-CHANGING twist is crucial here. My move here is to play the game through psychological distress. I have no advantages! Since they're out of tokens from buying immunity, me/Anastasia/Jared/Jay bought advantages for ourselves and also sent out disadvantages to Colin/Amy/Elle. Seeing that not only we have advantages but also them having disadvantages, they probably still feel like things will be ok because they'll just split votes or whatever and one of them needs to win immunity. But given this is an invisible round, I think Amy is honestly paranoid enough to just play her idol, hopefully Elle does too, and then between me and Jared, we'll idol for one of us. I also plan on bluffing an advantage coming back from Jury, and say something along the lines of having to survive one round before the advantage got activated. I'm going for the win, everyone, I know that if I get to the end with anybody, I have a solid shot at winning. I just need to get there and to do that, I must play an adaptable game – more than ever. PS I am holding onto Jared's idol right now. Power (temporary) feels amazing. Dw I'm giving it back....😈
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this has been the most chill round in a while. which is really weird consider JODI IS BACK AND WE BLINDSIDED BRAYDEN LAST ROUND this round is turning out to be what I WANTED last round to be. everyone is talking with everyone, people are trying to disband the sides and all intermingle. it's really interesting how no one else was on board with this until after they lost majority. seems like people don't like playing from the bottom. weird huh now these bitches know how I felt >:( anyway. jodi is back. it's weird. she knows that amy flipped now and everyone is playing very carefully my ideal boot this round was either jay or josh, in that order. so when my gay ass WON IMMUNITY I immediately put out jay's name. we already have the numbers, but I also like said my piece to jodi and jared, this is yalls chance to prove to me that you're really with me and sides don't exist. the ball is in their court do i trust them? no. am I worried? no. i have immunity, the scariest thing rn is that I think Jay is voting Elle, and if Jared and Jodi are with him then that's scary, bc Jared has an idol. The ONLY people I would play my idol for is Amy and Elle, and Elle being in trouble means I might have to play my idol on her if Jay idols himself. We have enough to split, so I'm not worried, I just hope all goes according to plan. sorry my confessional is lame. its the weekend now so i have time uwu. I'll write more the next few days
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So this whole token twist thing has really annoyed me. Because of me wanting to show my loyalty to my alliance, i gave away all my coins to Amy so that she could but immunity. And against my wishes, Elle wasted her coins on the “advantage” which turned out to be a dud. I wanted to get coins together to buy game info or better yet, trade coins with other people. But i was left with nothing, while all the people on the other side used their coins to buy advantages in the next immunity challenge making it even harder for me to secure my safety. Maybe this new 2 Gays and a Jared alliance might actually pan out but im tired of getting the short end of the stick with everything.
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Edgic:
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Power Rankings:
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Anastasia: She is in the middle of the two sides. They both need her for the rest of this game before a side is terminated. She is the most powerful because she is in the middle.
Jodi: Has regained a lot of her footing in this game. Is being used as a shield by the people who voted her out. The decision to vote out Jay is questionable, but she still has a lot of power thanks to the knowledge Anastasia and Jared feed her.
Colin: The head of the opposing side. Seems to not know what is really going on with Anastasia. But his allies are willing to take him to the end which is good. Needs to avoid falling into a Jodi pitfall.
Amy: Her rat behavior has been exposed, but her allies are still willing to defend her. Second in command on the Colin side. She is being handed these immunities.
Jared: Jodi’s new #1. Will probably make it to the end of this game. However, he isn’t calling the shots and is in danger of being targeted as an “easy” vote or being called a goat at the end. Needs to start taking fate in his own hands.
Elle: Lost a lot of footing because of not telling Anastasia the truth. This move caused Anastasia to go back to Jodi’s side which will hurt in the coming round. Is the next target for the Jodi side.
Jay: Died on the sword for Jodi. I am confused why they didn’t just stack 4 votes somewhere else, but it is whatever. Has basically given up.
Josh: Left out of a lot of discussions. Is on the outside of his alliances and from the opposing side. Is the most in danger of getting targeted or being a casualty of an idol.
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