#probably gonna come out next week if I didnt burn myself out

[mamasart]

Finally finished this monster... took 3 days total to make him! I think I learned a lot while making this, its my first painting!

[oh-for-fic-sake]

What is August going to do if his little decides to play with his forbidden knife collection? :3

Omg so this took a while and i'm sorry but im sooo happy with this! It got a little long so im hidig it under a cut but i hope you enjoy! @littlefreya @viking-raider

August swore vehemently looking around for the blades he'd sharpened specifically for his next assignment.

This needed to be silent and precise, he'd sharpened each blade twice! Not once but twice!

He wouldnt even attempt his 'arm hair' shave test this time knowing he may have gone over board with the sharpening.

But he couldnt help it, he found it therapeutic running his hands over the blades again and again, it was like medatation for him.

But they were no where to be seen! Hed placed them each delicatly in the rolled travelling leather holster, useing the small poppers to lock each dangerous blade in place and then hid it in the small safe in the wardrobe.

"Baby girl! LITTLE ONE HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE SAFE?!" He shouted down the stairs only not to get an answer, the radio on the kitchen drowning him out.

You were baking, well 'bakeing' he had bought a 'unicorn gingerbread box kit' for you both to make today.

It was a small treat he would spend the day with you doing anything your little heart desires befor setting off onto his week long mission.

You were currently rolling out the gingrbread and he had decided to sneak his weapons into his bag while you were preoccupied.

August never liked rubbing innhis occupation with you, never liked faceing the awkward questions, he wont lie to you but in being truthfull he can sometimes frighten you.

In the bedroom he was as ruthless and rough and demanding as he was at work.

But like this when you were little, you drew out a softer side. Well as soft as he was capable of, he was a stern man in everything he did, even in daddying you.

August huffed and zipped his case violently stressing out he needed to go down and pversee ou before you did something foolish, like tried to put the gingerbread in the oven.

Your panicked hyperventilating and bitten 9ff screams drew his attention immediatly!

He bolted down the stairs as fast as he could, so panicked by the cries and screams from the kitchen he raced through the housestomping and crashing with all the grace of a bull in a china shop.

Oh hell.

He froze, face paling mouth agape as he took in the scene.

Then he roared in a way you'd never heard.

You cowered holding your hand tightly as it bled profusely red life blood poured all over the white counter ruining the sheet pan dusted with what was once pure white flour.

The blood was also over the rolled out gingerbread, along with a very familiar knife.

You cried and staggered over you august holding your wound tightly tripping over your feet to him, wandering blindly unable to see much through your tears. Or hear past your frantic crying and yelps of "daddy!?"

August quickly decended on you grasping a teatowel from the laundry basket on the counter and tookover holding your offered wounded hand whislts snappjng at you in worry fueled anger.

"What the fuck are you dojng with that!? They are daddies special knives! You know not to touch thwm you silly little girl!"

"I'm s-so-rry! OUCH, NO-OO DAD-DY IT HURTS!" You cried out complaining as he dabbed the wound inspecting it.

It wasnt to deep just long, across the whole of your palm. He could tell your slipped and probably didnt evwn notice youd cut yourself untill it'd sliced fully across.

He'd sharpened them that much.

"You will be! By god little lady you will ne so very very sorry when im done woth you!"

"Come on sit down before you pass out and bleed all over the kitchen" he said tying a knot in two corners ot the teatowle making a triangle like a sling and looped it around your palm then fetched a wooden spoon slotting it in the large opening and began twisting it tight making a tourniquet.

You hissed as he pulled the clother thighter and tighter then slipped the wooden spoon into your fingers holding the teatowel still, before raising your hand high letting gravityhelp slow the bleeding.

"Now hold that there, dont you move, w need to stop the bleeding so i can mend it" he snipped grunting to himself. He wasnt worried as such, it looked worse than it was he had tended to worse on himself.

"Y-you can fix it da-ddy?" You sobbed tryi g to be brave but you were shaking like a leaf, youd never bled that much before.

"Yes daddy can fix it poppet, daddy can always fix it" he said quickly pulling out his... vast medic kit that was fully stocked to deal with everything from burns and cuts to bullet woulds and decapitated fingers. Because ou never know.

"A-are you mad da-addy?!" You whined eyes wide as he huffed and sighed dragging his hands through hos hair irritated

"Im not angry im very very disappointed. And you can bet your little ass is gonna be meeting that spoon shortly!" He said vehemently trying to calm himself and remind himself it wasnt too serious and he could deal with this cut.

You didnt even argue just looked down, dropping your watery eyes to the floor like a kicked puppy, and it wasnt even to soften him either.

"Why were you touching daddies private things?" He spoke tyring to take both his and your mind off your wound as he located everything he needed from the box.

"A'cos i wa-nted to see...they were shiney after you were polishin'em" you explained hicupping slowly weeping still as the pain and throbbing set in.

"I was sharpening them poppet, not polishing" he uttered quickly with a sigh trying to find a quaze big enough to wrap in a bandage.

"I just wanted to see... Never gon' touch" you sobbed bijng your lip eyes flickingnup the the now red teatowel, your figers were going a ittle numb from the tight tourniquet.

"And then?" He asked quirking a brow as you before waling to the kitchen sink washing and rinsing the washing up bowl thoroughly befpre filling with fresh warm water and a new clean cloth.

"Then the box said cut round the unicorns with a knife... And I already got it out to look at" you said shrugging a little as he moveed down your hand. Luckily the bleedig had stopped.

"I also says let and adult do it" your daddy chided as he slowly and gwntly unwrapped your hand making our fingers sting a little at the renewed bloodflow

"Im an-adult" you argued weakly then hissed as he begancleani g the wound dabbig it ever so lightly knowig he had to use clean water instead of antiseptic that could slow the healing of the delicate skin.

"Your a baby" he said with a roll of his eyes 'a spoilt baby' he added as an after thought to himself.

"...but im carful never cut myself with my big girl knives!" You agrued then gasped giving a small 'uh oh' you mouth had run away with you again.

"You mean the kitchen knives?" August asked quickly coming down on the new information like a... well hammer on a land mine.

"No... my saftey knives daddy" you uttered under your breath hissing as he moved on to the next stage of tending to your wound pressing the gauze to it.

"What do you mean your safety onives little one?" He said paying close attention to the bandages he was unravling over your hand trying to keep it firm but comfortable.

"My safety knives... i-in my purse?... Incase of baddies" you whispered slowly praying he wouldnt hear you. But his fingers paused for a second before quickly tying off the bandage in a knot and gave you a fierce look.

"You have knives in your?- wait hold-" august frowned and held a hand up singnalling you to stay then left the kitchen.

He returned moments later and emptied your pjrse only to growl shaking his had as a plethora of 'cute' weapons fell out. Hello kitty switch blades, rainbow blades, pink pocket knives and suspicious looking comb, key knives, pen knives you name it! There was even a ... cat keyring obviously meant to be some sort of pointy eared knuckle duster.

"Really poppet? Knives and... knuckle dusters- these are" he began scolding you but you cut him off

"I know i know daddy im sorry-" your apology was halted as your daddy spoke over you in a warning to e, he didnt like being interrupted.

"No where near good enough! These are all close range! If your close enough to use these then your already fucked! No you need pepperspray and a tazer!" He growled quickly picking up the feeble knives that had no grip to them, and wasnt ever sharp!

"T-tazer?" You stuttered tiltinnyour head cradling your injured hand to your chest.

"Yes, they are close range but will stop any attacker in their tracks! You can get away whilst your attacker is convulsing and laying in a pool of his own piss!" August growled becoming more and more aggravated as he realised you had now real way of protecting yourself when he wasnt around, big or little!

"Im getting you a tazer- today! Before i leave" he decided nodding to himself as he binned the now soiled teatowel and wash cloth.

"...can i have a pink one daddy?" You asked not being the slightest bit against having a tazer, it would make you feel alot safer then a knife.

Knives needed a proper opening and some brute force to protect you and could really really hurt someone!

A tazer was just a button and could work nomatter where ou hit the baddy and would kill them just make em gall over and pee.

"You can have a pink one princess... or a lipstick one or a tampon one?" Auguast suggested trying to thinl of the best one for you... he was sure a smaller discreet one whould be better than a law enforcement grade.

"That sounds uncomfortable daddy..." you uttered shuddering at the thought of that... being mistaken.

"Its not really a- fuck it... Right come on lets get in the living room you can go pick a tazer online" he said beginni g to pack up the first aid kitpillig everthing neatly into the box.

"O-okay... but no spankies daddy... I'm hurt" you warned cautiously waving your bandaged hand

"Yes spankies! Absolutly spankies! You take this spoon with you and you can pop it on the table as a reminder!" He ordered holding you with a level gaze blue eyes warning you to do as you were told.

"But my hand-" you said sniffling cradling it.

"Will be the least of your problems when I'm tanning your naughty butt! Now go or else" he threataned clipping the first aid box shut still watching you, staring unblinkingly.

"Or else what-" you started but your daddy was havig none of it and cut you off again.

"There is a silicone butter icing spreader in this kitchen that will be much worse than thw wooden spoon! Now get in the living room befpre i make you find it" he growled not about to let you throw a paddy about getting your ass blistered after the stunt you pulled.

Your lower lip wobbled but yu nodded giving up, plucking the wooden spoon and turning around leaing the kitchen in a walk of shame muttering a tiny 'yes daddy, sorry daddy'

Auguast watched with a stern face, before turning his attention to the bloody kitchen he will clean before coming to deal with you.

A good fifteen mineut wait will let you have time to reflect before he comes in and tans you hide.

[obsessive-ego]

Wait? Demons go into heat?

Unestablished musical Beetlejuice x reader

Nsft

Beej goes into heat for the first time while knowing you

Dubious consent and masturbation warning

"Y/n, we need to talk"

You look up from your phone and quirk a brow at the statement, it was weirdly serious for your friend, at first you assumed he was getting ready to mess with you or something, until you noticed the purple hue that has taken over his form.

"Are you okay?" You utter softly

The demon sits down next to you on the couch and sighs

"Okay, y/n, I am going to go away for a bit" he refused to look at you, his voice was small and very unlike him, but this made sense, you knew beetlejuice didnt like going to the netherworld on his little business trips, so this behavior started to make more sense.

"Oh okay-"

"I just dont want to hurt you"

What? You freeze.

The ghoul sighs again, before finally meeting your eyes and gently grabbing your hands

"Y/n I'm going into heat next week and I need to be away from you-"

You snort out a laugh, pulling your hands from the ghoul's grasp, so this WAS a joke, going into heat?

Your laughter was short lived when beetlejuice grabbed your shoulders to get you to focus on him.

"Y/n I'm not kidding"

focusing back to the ghoul, it was obvious he was serious, spots of red peaking through the purple was a grim reminder he wasnt joking.

"I-"

"I'm a demon y/n, I'm gonna go into heat, and all I'm gonna do is want to fuck, and I dont trust myself to be around you, I'm gonna go away till it's over, and I NEED you NOT to say my name, just promise me that"

You nod

Never in your time of knowing the ghoul was he ever so serious, honestly it was scary, was his heat so bad he'd just jump you without consent? IT'S best not to dwell on it.

...

It's been a few days since beetlejuice disappeared for your own safety, it wasnt so bad, before he left he was very fidgety and practically glowing pink, the hug goodbye was awkward, the ghoul held you longer then normal and let out a soft whine, guess his cycle was starting.

You couldnt help but daydream about how hot it would be to have the demon rail you senseless in his heat, yes you had a crush on him, but you sure as hell weren't ready to express those feelings, especially during his heat cycle.

The week goes by, you enjoy your silence, and are very productive, it's not like you dodnt enjoy Beetlejuice's presence, it's just not easy to get chores done with him being under foot. You always took the opportunity to get stuff done when beetlejuice wasnt around, you loved him yes, but alone time was important, between getting stuff done, and just relaxing his absence was nice, though you did miss him, but as the week went on, you could help but forget as to why the demon had to vanish, work was rough, and as exhaustion took over your body, peices of your discussion fell to the side of your tried brain, something about heading to the netherworld for a bit, a business trip probably, not that you believed the demon HAD a real job anyways.

As the week comes to an end you go into auto pilot mode, friday was the end of a work week and you and Beetlejuice's movie night.

Coming home from work you had only one thing on your mind, lazing about with your friend and watching shitty horror movies. Everything you did was on auto pilot, tossing your bag aside as you head to your bedroom to swap out your work clothes with something much more cozy, fuzzy pajama pants and a baggy shirt.

You wander from your room tapping away on your phone, ordering the pizza you and beej normally share, you always payed ahead and let the demon believe him scaring off the delivery guy ment free food, you enjoyed Beetlejuice's awful jokes, and that wide toothy grin he gave you when he assumed him scored the two of you a free meal, but in all good consciousness you couldnt let that happen, you'll just the demon believe he's doing you a favor WHILE he's showing off.

You plop down on the couch, everything was set for a fun night of hanging with your pal, you havent seen him all week, for the life of you, you couldnt remember as to why beetlejuice wasnt around, something about going to the netherworld? Probably another business trip, whatever he was always so mopey when he had to leave, he'd probably be thrilled to have a easy hang out right? Well it's been a week and if beej wasnt done with whatever nonsense he had to take care of he could leave, simple as that.

You get up from the couch and holler "beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice"

The lights flicker, then go out completely, you huff through your nose, this wasnt new, been was all about making an entrance.

"Y/N"

you flinch at the tone, harsh and angry, not exactly how he tended to great you when summoned, he was messing with you right?

Unfortunately in the pitch dark you couldnt see him to confirm this thought.

Before you could do or say anything, you're pushed back into the couch

"Beetlejuice-" you cry,

"I missed you honey, couldnt stop thinking about that soft warm body of yours" he purred, you face burned with embarrassed, yes beetlejuice tended to flirt with you, but this felt different, more

Intense

"What?" You utter

Before you could elaborate you felt the weight of him crawling up onto your lap, the ghoul grabs your chin, the demon leans into your face, your eyes now accustomed to the dark you were able to make out a bit of the ghoul before you, just not enough to make heads or tails of what's going on, as the ghoul leans closer to you, pressing his weight against your trapped form, he takes a long inhale through his nose.

"Oooh~ I missed you so much baby~" he moans out in a whisper.

"Okay knock it off beej" you groan, clearly embarrassed and done with this embarrassing joke, as you try to shove the demon off, this whole charade of his, everytime you summoned him he would tease you and mess with you for a laugh, but being this weird? More legit? That was new, maybe he was just upping his game to.mess with you?

Your shoves were only greeted with a growl, you huff and finally shove beetlejuice off you completely, with ungrateful thud the ghoul hits the ground.

"Seriously Beej what's gotten into you?" You sigh walking away from him to turn on the lights.

The ghoul grows at you sudden absence, not that you noticed, with a click the room fills with light. You frown, beetlejuice was gone, great he was in a pranking mood, you sigh, it's been a long week and you just wanted to relax and watch an awful movie. With that thought you are knocked to the ground with a rough shove from the back, and with a shriek and a thud you land on your stomach, you freeze as you feel the weight being pressed against your back, the culprit had crawled onto your back, practically laying on top of you.

"Baby wants to play rough tonight huh? Daddy will allow it~"

"Beetlejuice seriously, I don't want to play these games i- oh fuck" it hit you, it finally clicked why you havent seen the demon in over a week, he told you, and you fucking forgot, you got to caught up in your own routine and exhausting life, you forgot.

"Uh, beej? Can you please get off-"

"Soon baby, I'll get off soon" the ghoul purrs in your ear, his body firmly pressed against yours, you freeze as you feel a sudden hardness poking between your butt cheeks, you could hear your heart pounding away in your ears, you like beetlejuice yes, but you weren't ready to tell him, let alone let him fuck you on the floor. You were frozen unsure what to do, been warned you, and you forgot. You could banish him, 3 times in a row is all you need, and when this cycle is over this will be something the two of you can laugh about right?

"you smell so good honey~" your pulled from your thoughts with the ghoul's gravely purr

"Beetlejuice beetlejuice bee-" your voice was small and shaky

You gasp and curse at the sensation of something cold and wet trailing up your neck

"And you taste even better~"

You try again "beetlejuice beetlejuice bee-" again you were cut short with a familiar hand cupping against your mouth

"I dont wanna leave baby" he groans, lightly grinding his ever herding cock against your ass "I missed you, I missed your warmth, I missed your scent, i missed your sweet voice, I'm sick of being alone, i need you y/n" his grinding picks up in pace, the ghoul practicallydry humping you into the carpet, you yelp and squirm, in which beetlejuice responds with a soft moan.

"Beej please" you cry, a weird mix of arousal and fear fill your chest, in all honesty, you could find this whole situation pretty hot, but not now.

With the cry of your voice the ghoul flips you over, having you lay on your back. You finally get a good look at beetlejuice, as he hovered inches above you, pinning you below him.

The ghoul's once Forrest green hair was now a wild electric pink, almost magenta, his pupils once round, now resembled the eyes of a snake. Beetlejuice was practically drooling, and though the demon didnt need to breath, you sure could hear him breathing hard almost panting. You've never seen your ghost like this before,so  this was heat? Again, other circumstances thos could be very hot.

"Bee?" Was all you could muster

The demon started back at you, wordless, it felt like forever until he closed the gap between you, burying his face in your chest, hands finding themselves placed along the hem of your pajama pants.

Beetlejuice was a mess, blabbering on and on "you smell so good, you feel so good, I need ya babes, I need ya bad, please let daddy fuck you" he whined, all the while he kept nuzzling your breasts. As if that was a distraction, the ghoul's hands began to tug on the hem of you pants, slowly he began to tug on them, slowly shimmying them down.

You were alerted to this action with the familiar squeeze of the demon's hand on your bum.

"Beej WAIT" you cry

Unfortunately on deaf ears, the ghoul continues his actions as your pants are finally removed and quickly tossed aside.

Your legs now fully bare were now free realestate to cold undead hands desperate for soft warm skin.

His his hands traveled up and down your legs, always stopping at the rear for a good long squeeze, you squirm and pant at the stimulation.

"You like that doll? You getting all hot under the collar with just a little touching~" he purred looking up for your chest.

You couldnt bare to look him in the eye, it was all too much, truth be told, you werent NOT enjoying his attention.

"Lawrence please-" you whine, not really sure as to what you were pleading, was it for him to stop? Was it for him to go further? So much was happening you felt like this really wasnt real.

But it sure as hell felt real when you felt the ghoul snap the waist band of your panties, you gasp and try to sit up, only to be pushed back down against the carpet.

The ghoul sighs and goes back to his babbling.

"I need this babes, I need you so much, I need you so bad it hurts, nothing else was good enough, I NEED you"

You could feel your ears burning at this, he really wanted you over anything else, it was probably just his heat talking, but in an odd way it was sweet.

You couldn't help but give the ghoul a soft smile at his desperate words, unfortunately the smile was quickly dropped and replaced with gritted teeth as you felt the demon's cold hands quickly yanking down your, now damp with arousal, panties.

"Beetlejuice STOP" you cry

Simple hum was your response

As the garment slowly made it's way down your legs you tried in vain to reason with the lust driven demon, all of your crys were responded the same, ignored.

As the garment made it to your ankles you made one last attempt to reason with beetlejuice

"Beetlejuice please, this isnt like you, just stop and we can just forget this-"

Before you could finish that sentence, as soon as the damp garment was free from your form, the ghoul vanished.

You prop yourself up on your forearms, glancing around the empty room, you slowly sit up on your bare bum, waiting, waiting for another knock down, ments pass and nothing.

You slowly and carefully get up off the floor, glancing around as you walk over to your pajama pants that were tossed aside, you gently slide them on, still staying vigilant.

As the night goes on you're on high alert, waiting to be tackled down or something, but as time dragged into the early early morning, it clicked, beetlejuice wasnt going to do anything else, you finally sigh in relief, and try not to think about how he vanished AFTER  your underwear were removed, and missing completely, you assumed they would have wound up as the same place as where your pants were thrown, unless, he took them with him, you cover your mouth and stare at the floor, you paise for a moment, mind swimming with all the lewd things he could be doing with them, this didnt help how you were all hot and bothered from the ghoul's early actions.

Slipping into bed that night, knowing beetlejuice was gone, you felt okay to tend to those desperate feelings between your legs, you carefully pull out your hidden vibrator and gingerly slip it beneath the covers and eagerly bring it to your desperate sex.

Of course

You werent the only one tending to a desperate need.

Beetlejuice now on the roof of your apartment building, a mix of purple and pink have taken over his form, your panties held tightly in his hand.

Did he feel like shit for losing control and jumping you? Yes

Was he glad your dumbass forgot and called him anyway so he could smell you and feel your soft warm skin? Also yes

Sitting on the edge of roof, not that anyone could see him, he takes the freshly woren garment to his nose and inhales the scent of your excited sex, the purple from the demon's hair is quickly replace with a mix of pink and magenta.

"You smell so good baby" he growls

His free hand fumbles with his pants trying to free his full erection, hell the moment he saw your face he was ready to go.

This wasnt the first time beetlejuice went into heat, not by a long shot, but it WAS his first time going into heat knowing you, and fuck, you were all he wanted.

Having you call him, smelling you, seeing you, feeling you, hearing your sweet voice, hes honestly surprised he didn't blow his load while he was humping that cute rump of yours, he drools remembering how he could feel your warm bum against his cold cock, the demon could only imagine how glorious your pussys warmth was gonna feel.

The night was long and lonely for the demon but the memory of you beneath him and the scent of your desire was enough to keep him content, bit next heat cycle? The demon will have you in his pocket and ready to help him out.

Bonus

Sunday

You wake up late and head to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and start your day, at the little table you had in your little kitchen sat beetlejuice, across from him was a hot and ready cup of coffee

"Morning" the ghoul said plainly, giving you an awkward smile, hints of purple popping up in his hair

"Morning" you respond softly sitting down across from the demon and accepting his 'peace offering'

The two of you sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before beetlejuice breaks it

"So about the other night-" he starts, averting your gaze and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Its fine, you werent yourself, you warned me, and I forgot"

The ghoul stares back at you, bug eyed and dumbfounded, was it really gonna be this easy?

"I guess you're back to yourself huh?" You try to make a positive note to this awkward situation

"Uh yeah, just kinda horny, not full on horny" he chuckles rubbing the back of his neck.

This was gonna be an awkward bump to get over.

[skinnyghosttears]

May 21, 2021

9:27 am

Mom just told me that today I have to help her and I will probably have no time to go and buy the hair dye :') And now I should get up from this bed and walk the older dog since mom had no time fo do it before work.

I also have to exercise like hell this morning so why cant I get up?

I feel good in terms of bloating for now, I know I have to go to the bathroom but the emptiness of my stomach is so 🥰🥰🥰.

10:08 am

Weighted myself because Im a dumb bitch? Yes. But im 59,4kg???? I dont trust the scale so I'll weight myself again before lunch, but holy shit if Im really ar this point tomorrow I will eat pizza with less guilt. I planned the weekend already and since my grandma will come here on sunday I will do some cinnamon buns. I will do them really small and I'll allow me to eat 2 of them since Im at 287kcal for the rest of the day. If cooking will turn them too big I will eat just one but none of those days will be a cheat day and Im so relieved. I was so sad and demotivated, idk how I managed to come back to this weight, but Im fine with it and now I feel less tempted to binge because I cant wait to see a 58 on the scale.

10:40 am

Im on the cyclette but even if Im working out really slow I feel like I will faint soon so maybe I will not reach my goal of burned cals today. Maybe I can split in two sessions and do the second one after dinner.

11:33 am

Burned 500kcal on the cyclette and used some little weights. I have time to do more but Im really worried to faint. Its fine tho, I'll eat something like 559kcal today so Im sure I already did enough.

5:00 pm

Ate more nuts that how I planned but I still counted them and im eating thise for weightloss, so its fine. I was craving something sweet after lunch but I ended drinking a diet coke. Now we are out wih mom and I bought my hair dye so tomorrow I'll be half blonde or half bald :) now we'll go to the store so I can buy pickles and fruit. Im still really tired but I'll try to exercise after dinner.

8:52 pm

Ate a total of 921kcal today. Burned 500 on the cyclette plus the walks and other stuff that I didnt count. I dont feel full, but Im gonna use the cyclette again before bedtime.

Tomorrow I'll try to exercise both during the day and after dinner, so I should be good with the pizza.

Ngl I feel really bad for todays calories, but 1/3 of them were nuts and I dont regret eating those since they are healthy for heart and hair. Im scared because tomorrow I'll eat another 900kcal, I'll try to burn everything but still, I hope the scale will not be a bitch in the morning. Sunday will be better, and the next week I'll eat normally.

[horansqueen]

Vote For My Next Story

I'll try to keep this short. YOU&ME has ended, and it was a big part of the last few years of my life (along with AM Conversations). It'll probably always be my favorite and best story but that doesnt mean i want to stop writing.

please, know that the oneshots ideas are independent from the story ideas, meaning that i can write a story AND oneshots at the same time so let me know if youre interested!

(click on the read more to read the 10 synopsis of the story ideas I’d like to write)

AM Conversations & YOU&ME ideas:

-oneshots ideas for what happened after the story, before the story, or even in-between chapters in the story. you can send me ANY idea that you would want to read between Liv and Niall or other characters.

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NEW STORY IDEAS:

NOTES: 

all the ideas are AU. 

 #2 #8 and #9 will include a few of the 1D boys. 

despite the title, #4 is a Niall fic

titles may change

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1- UNPREDICTABLE

They haven't seen each other since high school and they hadn't missed each other at all. In fact, they never really could stand each other. Her, a bit of a rebel, listening to punk music, searching for trouble whenever she could... and him, the good boy, popular and loved by everyone, who could rarely be seen without his guitar. It's been a few years already but not many things had changed and they still didn't have anything in common... except one thing. Both of them aspired to become famous with their music. With a twist of fate, they end up in each other's lives again and if they can put aside their resentment for one another, maybe they could bring something incredibly precious to each other. But nothing has ever been uncertain.

This is the story of two opposite persons who share a burning passion that may slowly bring them closer... or make the hatred they already feel for each other even more intense.

2- D.N.A. (daddies now available)

The test was positive. I was pregnant. The problem was, I didn’t know who the father was. It could be my ex boyfriend Liam, his best friend Niall or my best friend Louis. Or maybe it could be that boy I randomly had sex with, Harry... I had no idea and I was not going to find out soon.¸

All I knew was I had to tell four boys that there was a possibility for them to be a daddy in less than a year. Can you just imagine their reaction?

Contrary to all expectations, they accepted their fates.. somehow. And no matter who his daddy was, “little human” was going to get a lot of attention from a lot of men. Exactly like me.

This is my pregnancy story. And it was just the beginning of a long journey.

3- MEANT TO BE

When they first met, Louis was all *MAIN GIRL* ever wanted. However, a decade later the high school sweethearts had change and she felt like most of the sparkles she once had were now gone. Then she met Niall and it clicked instantly and intensely and since then, they’ve been seeing each other in secret, lying to their whole entourage about the nature of their relationship. Feelings started to grow, things started to change, and maybe, just maybe, it’s meant to be. Or maybe not.

A tale of broken hearts, unforgettable love and many… way too many lies.

4- LIVING WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON

Call me Queen Catastrophe. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my best girl friend and my apartment on the same day. Just a little friday afternoon like all the others, right?

Thank god, my best friend Louis was there to save the day. Nothing unusual. I was supposed to crash at his apartment for one night and then walk on my pride and go back to my parents to admit how much of a failure I really am.

However, Louis had other plans : he wanted me to move in with him. That’s when my story really starts. Mutual feelings, drunken sex, grocery shopping, fights that end up with porcelain thrown around the kitchen (I���m an intense person, I know) but most of all, his best guy friend stealing his (our, now) couch at least 5 nights a week.

I despise Niall Horan with all my heart. Him and his stupid charm, his flirty smile and his hands that always ended up in places they shouldn’t. He was threatening to come between Louis and I. He was slowly taking more space in our apartment… and in my heart.

Fuck, I hate Niall Horan with a passion.

5- FOR YOUR LOVE

After months of trying to get pregnant, Niall and his long-time girlfriend found out she was sterile. The news obviously shook their relationship and sparked a few arguments but after a long discussion, they found only one solution : hire a surrogate mother. As days go by, Niall's relationship gets harder and harder to save, and his connection with the surrogate mother of his child becomes tighter. Soon, he gets caught in feelings he can't explain and definitely can't understand. But life is not as easy as just following your feelings.

A story of unsettling feelings, confusing relationships, a deep and strong connection but mostly, decisions impossible to make. Can this really end well?

6- DATING FOR DUMMIES

*MAIN GIRL* has tried blind dates, dating apps, and speed dating to find her soulmate with no good result. Niall has tried pretty much the same without much more success. With all the bizarre, creepy and incompatible persons they meet, they're so close to give up on love until they meet each other through a friend. After a bottle of wine and a long discussion, they start thinking that maybe they were the problem, and that they're too dumb for dating. That's when they decide to make a list of what they individually want and need on a first date and finally decide to try it together. Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and they will both realize that feelings can't be controlled.

When all else fails, the solution will always be to follow your heart.

7- THE BREAK-UP PLAN

*MAIN GIRL* and Niall's relationship had started when they had barely entered their teenager years. Now, over 10 years later, they feel like something is missing. They didn't know anything else besides each other and it had to change. They still planned on spending forever together but their lack of experiences and mistakes seemed to be an obstacle between them.

They agreed on  break that was not really a break. for six whole months, they would be able to do whatever they wanted to do with whoever they wanted to. Going to parties, leaving for a whole weekend with friends without giving any news, dating and even screwing whoever they wanted, nothing was out of reach.

They only had one rule : honesty. Every friday night, they'd meet and spend the whole night together, talking, making out or just cuddling until they'd fall asleep, to make sure their love was preserved.

Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and seeing the person you love the most in the world be happy without you is something almost impossible to accept.

A story about angry tears, painful jealousy, sweet sweet revenge and realizing who your real soulmate is. Watch out, it's gonna hurt.

8- HOT MESS

*MAIN GIRL* has always been a bit of a rebel who didn't really care about much. She just enjoyed life the way she wanted to and never really paid attention to anything else. If she wanted something, she did everything she could to get it, no matter who she'd hurt in the process. After a few years away from her hometown, family and friends, she finally comes back to realize that a lot of things have changed. Jumping in her twin brother Liam's life without being invited, she's about to make a mess of everything he had made so much effort to build by flirting with every single one of his friends without any shame. She's not looking for a relationship, she's just looking to have some fun and break a few hearts... but perhaps, she's about to make a mess of her own heart.

Sometimes, you play the game and some other very rare times, the game plays you.

9- 15 Complicated Rules

I have no idea how I got into this mess but somehow, I ended up with 4 different fuck buddies. I thought I was going crazy until I made a strict schedule of the days and time I would see them, and wrote down a few rules I had to respect myself. A useful guide to manege my 4 fuck friends. Monday for my ex boyfriend, tuesday for my co-worker, wednesday for my old best friend and thursday for a family friend. It could work, right?

I've never been much of an organised person but I honestly thought I could make this work. Everything went as planned for a few months until I broke one rule after the other. That's when I knew I was in deep shit. These are my 15 complicated rules to have fuck buddies. And this is the story of my downfall and the incredible mess I put myself into. After all, rule 15 was 'Never Fall In Love' and I guess that's something I couldn't control, even if I wanted to.

10- DISCONNECTED

When *MAIN GIRL* switches college to finally follow her dreams, she was ready to face anything and everything that would come her way. After all, she had been through so much already, right? The problem was, she didn't expect to be stuck in a room with someone who gets on her last nerves because of a paperwork mistake. Despite trying to find an other place to live or spend her time talking to the administration, she had to face the fact that this situation wouldn't change for a few months. Niall knew how to piss her off and he clearly abused that superpower, doing anything and everything he can to annoy the most pretentious and stuck-up person he had ever met. Perhaps fate is having a good laugh, because they seem to get stuck together way more often than not, but it's not until they let down their defense that they will see who the other really is... if that ever happens.

Apparently, some people are in your life to teach you something and make you grow. Perhaps, if you take the time to listen to them and open up to them, your karmic soulmate can turn into your twin flame... or not.

11- NEW ANGEL

When *MAIN GIRL 1* breaks up with Niall, he takes it harder than he thought he would, realizing in the process all the feelings he had for her. After a few weeks locked by himself in his room, his friends take him out on a crazy night and he decides he needs someone else, if only to get over the girl he loves. That’s when he meets *MAIN GIRL 2* and bring her back home.  However, on the next morning, he realizes he doesn't want her to leave, and that despite the feelings he has for *main girl 1*, he could definitely develop something with *main girl 2*. Everything is going amazingly well for a few weeks until what Niall never thought would happen actually happens : *main girl 1* calls him to tell him she regrets leaving him. Now confused and stressed, Niall is going to have to make a choice between the girl he thought he'd spend his life with, and a girl he just met that makes his heart race. And he's going to get help on his journey from someone he would never have thought of.

A story about making choices, creating connections, messy hearts and confusing emotions.

(i have many ideas for this one but i dont want to give everything away!)

[the19thduckpotato]

In the Shadow of a Smile (Pt 4)

Part 3

Toshi's thoughts rambled aimlessly again.  Why did she have Izuku stay?  Something to do with me?  He grimaced.  I really wish she wouldn't.  I can take care of myself... Is that a fact, now? Listen.... Further thoughts were cut short as Izuku jogged up.  Toshi's face split into a warm grin.  "There you are!"

Izuku grinned back, falling into step beside Toshi (three short steps to each long one). "Hi!" He fumbled with the opening of the strawberry popcorn, munching on a few kernels. I wonder if he can have any... I know he can have sugar in small amounts, but... he does have his own kind of popcorn. Best not to offer n put him in the position of refusing, he'll sneak a few kernels of mine on his own if he wants some.

Toshi smiled down at his fan student son protege, amused by their comparative steps.  He tried to shorten his own steps and looked about.  "See any store you'd like to visit?" is it strange that I want to give him every good thing that he deserves?  Am I allowed to do that?  Well, i mean, I'm All Might, I can do whatever I like... not that I'd ever abuse that. He watched Izuku.  It'd be blatant favoritism.  But he deserves it.  But that would paint an even bigger target than he already has on him.  Which he definitely does not deserve. Toshi's steps slowed more as he let Izuku get ahead of him. I wish... And he squashed that thought immediately, startled that he even thought it.

Izuku looked around. "Aaahhh..." His eyes popped wide when he saw a certain storefront. "Ooh!! There!!" He bounced and pointed, though he quickly snatched his hand back as he remembered Pointing Was Rude.

Toshi's head snapped up and he squinted.  What in the...?

Izuku turned and grinned up at Toshi excitedly. "Can we go there??"

The blond looked amused verging on jovial laughter.  He almost teased Izuku about was there really a need for more plastic All Mights in the dorm? Just because you feel crummy is no reason to pick on the kid, even jokingly.    He picked this store, now let's learn a little more about what makes Izuku happy. "Of course.  I've been meaning to find myself a Chibi Aizawa eraser topper."  He winked.

Izuku smothered a laugh. "He's underground, they don't make merch of him!" Wait what am I even gonna buy in here, they sell All Might merch, and I'm taking ALL MIGHT in here, that's so cheesy and weird! Can I just look at stuff? Will he think it's a waste of time if I do? Oh no, why did I pick this?? Because you were excited, that's why. Because he asked and you answered, now shut up and Deal With It. Hhhnnngg.... "Do... do you maybe wanna find somewhere else though, because I know it's probably weird and-- and maybe there's somewhere else you'd rather be and I'd 100% like to go with you n honestly I don't even know what I'd want to buy from here, I was just looking...." Izuku grinned and rambled sheepishly as they got closer to the store, both wanting to go in and very much not.

Toshi just casually steered his charge into the store without breaking his slowed stride.  "Weird?  I want to see what's selling.  And who is."  He wrinkled his nose.  "I'm not overly fond of the whole marketing aspect of this job... but I get it."  He picked up a plush grinning All Bean and half smiled.  "Small mementos of the people you look up to.  Reminders that mean different things to different people.  If seeing my face plastered everywhere gave people hope, then so much the better." He didnt like the idea of some of his fans being denied that hope simply because they didnt have the money... but he also knew the heroing business was lucratively expensive. "--oop!"  He pointed at a pile of gray scarves and grinned impishly.  "Yessssssss."

Izuku gave a high-pitched laugh when he saw, then ducked and hoped no one heard him. He grinned back at Toshi and nodded. His gaze flitted around the store, landing on a Crimson Riot hoodie in a rack of clothes. "Oh! Kirishima would love that!" He pointed again.

Toshi picked up one of the scarves--it was much shorter than the real deal--and tossed it about his shoulders.  He affected a regal pose.  "What do you think?" he said, trying a droning Aizawa impression.

Izuku squeaked and hid his grin in his hands, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. He lifted his head, composure regained with a straight face.

"Blah blah, stop showing off, blah, I never get any sleep, blah, I have 20 cats and they're all named Mittens--"

Izuku's mouth twitched. He repeated the process.  Shaking his head, he mumbled shyly, "Noooooo... we can't make fun of him...."

"I'm sorry," Toshi snorted, trying to look apologetic.  "That was disrespectful." Jerk. Toshi's ears tinged red as he set the scarf back.  "You know what I'm looking forward to?"

Izuku looked up curiously, surprised at how quickly Toshi put the scarf back and how sad he sounded at the end. "--Oh?"

"When shops like these are filled to the brim with green.  Then I can be the big collector." If you even make it that-- "I'll be able to cite facts about my favorite hero, snatch up first editions, maybe get an autograph if I'm lucky."  He smiled hopefully at his kid.

Izuku squeeeeaked, hiding his face in his hands one more time. He quickly flew to Toshi, hugging his arm tightly. Of course you can you can have so much more than that you can have me, right there, oh please let me still be there--

"Heck, I know just the people to talk to about--i mean, if that's the way you'd like to go.  Merchandizing and all."  Toshi shrugged shyly.  "You're already making an impact now, just wait till you're well known.  People will be demanding Deku merch, heh." He looked about the store, all the current heroes familiar and easy to spot.  He blinked and saw different heroes now, the kids from UA.  Not just Izuku, not just Class 1A, but all the students. He blinked again, eyes stinging. I want to see that.

"Whuh-wuh... uuuhhh... I mean." Izuku lifted his head from where it was hidden against Toshi's arm and blinked. "Yeah, I'd rather talk to your people than try to do it on my own, but..." You mean you want HIM to talk to them and you not say anything, like a shy little puppy.... ...Look, that's a long way off though.... He didn't contradict himself. "I mean, maybe let's cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't know if that's even legal yet, I don't even have my full license...." Can unlicensed heroes even have merch deals? I mean I'm not unlicensed but it's only provisional....

Toshi grinned knowingly.  "I already know you're going to need merch.  No rush, of course... but if you keep going at the rate you already are, well."

Izuku muffled a long wobbly squeak against Toshi’s side.

"And to think that lil old me got to be fortunate enough to be the Great Deku's first fan.  Man," Toshi whistled.  "Am I ever lucky!" And for what it was worth, he meant every word.

Izuku could tell, and the fact made his heart feel all weird and tied up all the sheepish brushing-off he wanted to do in long confusing ribbons mixed with thanks. "...But-- you made Deku, though... I'd be nothing without you." Well, not nothing... I'd still be a person. But I wouldn't be a pro without you. I'm still not there, yet, but I hope... one day....

Toshi gazed at him fondly.  "Do you really still believe that?  That passing you--"  He paused, mindful they were in public, and gestured you know.  "--the, ah,  heroic torch would have been the same no matter who it was passed to?" "A Quirkless middle schooler?  What are you thinking?!  Such a boy could never serve as the Symbol of Peace!!" Toshi had coughed thickly but still proudly responded with, "He really has this burning desire to help people." And yet, Mirai had refused to listen, hanging up on his former partner. "...I picked you on purpose.  And each passing week only reinforces my decision.  Please do not doubt that.  Deku exists because you exist, firstly.  I just gave you a helping hand, that's all."  He grinned and brushed one bang away.

Izuku smiled softly-- mostly with his eyes. He rested his forehead against Toshi's arm, trying to think of words that would both satisfy Toshi and yet still be true. "Not... exactly the same, no. But I think... the other children out there... have just as much... potential. As I do."

"They do." Toshi tousled Izuku's hair.  "And would that I could help all of them the same way.  But..."  he held up one finger.  "Power is a tricky thing.  It has an effect on people and not always good.  The most well intentioned person can still do terrible things. "So it isn't just a matter of being suitable.  You earned my trust by not blabbing my secret.  You inspired me to action when I believed I could do no more.  You...well.  You made me want to live again.  Something that not even All Might could do.  So who's the strong one now, eh? "Frankly, kid, I'll be honest--i don't think there's a whole lot of people like you out there.  Don't sell yourself short."

Izuku gazed up at Toshi in wonder. He tried to think of something to say... his mouth twitched into a smile. "But I am short!"

Toshi just stared for a moment. S t a r e d.

Izuku slowly unsmiled himself. Not sad, but confused... "...Not funny?"

Then burst into a roar of laughter, helplessly trying to gasp, "well of course--heehee--next to me--"

The smile came back full force. Izuku burst into laughter too-- "Well YEAH, you're a GIANT!!" He looked up at Toshi with the brightest grin.

Toshi tried to regain his composure, looked at Izuku, used his hand to compare their heights, wheezed more laughter. "I'm onlyheeheehee seven fooahahaha oh no help--"

The laughter was incredibly contagious, Izuku hiccuping out noises that were a cross between a donkey and a chihuahua.

Toshi made a desperate noise at Izuku's noises, his laughter getting more out of control.  Tears squirted out and he weakly grasped at his kid's shoulder.  He was dimly aware others would be staring but the floodgates had opened and he could only ride the wave at this point. This marvelous wonderful wave.

Izuku's face was starting to hurt, but he was happy, SO happy. He tried his best to support Toshi but he, too, was a floppy noodle of hilarity.

Toshi fought to get himself back under control, his laughter finally tapering off into snickers, then slowing down to an occasional giggle.  He took a deep breath and checked on his kid.

One last snort.

Toshi's eyes widened.  Ohno. He clapped one hand over his mouth but his eyes still twinkled.

A tired giggle. Izuku enjoyed the feeling of being in the moment, still leaned against Toshi in a half-hug. He didn't dare look up, though, or he knew he'd start laughing again.

Toshi cleared his throat and casually thumbed the edges of his mouth.  "Well now we have to get something," he grinned.  "What's your pick?"

"Oh!" Izuku's gaze snuck toward the rack of jackets. "...Hmmm...."

Toshi's head followed his gaze.  "Oh look, a denim jacket!  Best Jeanist, you cad."

Izuku giggled, though he didn't quite get the joke. He stepped over to the rack, peeking through them and looking for-- well, maybe I can wear it... but what if Kacchan sees me? But... well, I can wear it in my room n stuff, at least. Or in places like this. As long as I hide it before I get back.... His fingers brushed over sleeves to check the texture and pushed gaps between the jackets to see if any were All Might-themed.

Toshi blinked and smiled, hands in his pockets.  He waved at the few people who recognized him then returned to watching Izuku dig through jackets.

Most of the All Might merch seemed to have been snapped up already, but Izuku's face lit up when he saw-- "Ooh!"

"Hmm??"  Toshi tilted his head and arched his neck.  "What did you find?"

Izuku pulled a thick Silver Age-print hoodie off the rack, running his hand over the inside lined with a soft fluffy material. "This is great! Lookit!" He held it up and grinned, bouncing on his toes excitedly.

Toshi looked pleasantly surprised.  "Well whaddya know!"  He held out his arm for Izuku to drape it over.

Izuku placed it over his arm, still bouncing. "Can I try it on??"

"Heheheheh, sure, go on." He quietly made a mental note to get Izuku's size and dig into his limited edition wear later.

Izuku picked up the jacket again, taking it off the hanger (making sure to put the hanger back on the rack for now) and unzipping jacket, holding the ends of his sleeves and wiggling his arms in. It was a little big, but he could grow into it.

Toshi was definitely feeling the dad feels right about this time.  His kid proudly showing off his jacket. The breath hitched in his throat for a moment. "Looks great on you," he managed with a delighted smile.

Izuku looked up, smiling brightly. He clapped his hands together in happiness, looking down at them with much interest when he felt how the parts of the sleeves covering his hands muffled the impact. After inspecting this sensation for a few seconds, he looked back up, asking with a shy grin, "So uh... can I, uh..." he ducked his head then brought it up again, "...can I have it?"

Toshi's eyes shone with joy.  I finally get to spoil my kid! "I don't see why not!  Anything else you might like?"

"--Oh!" Izuku's eyes and mouth went round. Surely that's too much!! I couldn't even think of anyth-- wait, yes I could! "Well-- actually... I was wondering if we could pick out some stuff for the others?" He thought of the Crimson Riot jacket, knowing Kirishima would love it, and wondered if he could find something of Kamui Woods' or even Snipe's for Shouji. "Not, like-- all twenty or anything... but maybe..." he bit his lip and stared into space, a plan formulating. "Maybe we could hunt for stuff, like, over a while... and save it until we have one for everybody? Would you like that?"

Toshi's entire face lit up at this suggestion.  "That's a fantastic idea!  And anything we can't find on our own, I'm sure I could dig up somewhere else." He shook his head in admiration.  "You're one in a million, kid, you know that?"

Izuku tilted his head and gave a scrunchy, lopsided smile. "What, really?" For coming up with a gift idea? Everyone will be doing it come Christmas. A thought occurred. "Well, technically, I'm one in 7 billion...."

"Even better.  And to think, you're my kid now." oh no wait, what did I just say oh no OH NO He stammered out a quick apology.  "I-I mean...ah...err... what I mean to say, y-young Midoriya--" He could feel his ears burning.

Izuku went limp in shock, and his eyes grew wide as saucers, practically sparkling. His mouth started to wobble.

"Hey wait, nonono, what did we say about the waterworks?!"  He frantically gestured at the boy, acutely aware of being watched now.  "UH--"

Izuku shot forward, wrapping his arms around Toshi and squeezing tight.

Toshi stiffened in shock then relaxed his muscles, ruffling Izuku's hair.  "Hey now..." I care about you I care about you a LOT and I know I'm terrible at speaking my true heart.  I never told Master and lost my chance.  I never told Mirai and lost my chance.  I don’t want to lose my chance with you, I couldn’t bear it. "Kid..."

((Part 5))

[missnxthingg]

Is this where we do prompts? Can you do a peter Parker imagine where has powers and is recruited as an avenger and then has to share a room with peter in avengers tower, and they fall in love? Please and thank you!

AN: I really just got along with it, and made it really big. I loved writting this, and I hope you like it too. Just keep sending those requests.

Warnings: Bad words, a bit of makeout.

Words: 5k, I guess

———

You hated to admit you were kind of nervous, because it has been your dream since you found out who The Avengers were. Your old room in your foster parents house back in Staten Island was covered with pictures and news about The Avengers. When you had been invited to their tower, you were simply amazed, but kind of nervous. Now, you were following a guy carrying your bags around those endless hallways, silently and paying attention to every single detail around you. It was a beautiful place, very technological. At the end of one of them, you could hear someone talking on the phone. A voice who you knew very much. The same voice who invited you over. Tony Stark talking on his phone, probably with some investor or something. When he saw you coming in, he hung up and smiled.

“Oh, Y/N, you’re here. Welcome to The Avengers Tower.”

“Thank you Mr. Stark, I’m glad you invited me over.”

“I guess you met Happy Hogan already.” He said pointing to the man carrying your bags. “He’s gonna help you with anything you need.”

“That’s nice.”

“And I’m very sorry to say, but you’re going to be sharing a room with one of our heroes. Don’t worry, he’s harmless and he has your age. Plus, you’re way more powerful than him.”

“Can I at least know which one?”

“The Spider One, I always forget his name. Anyway, he’s nice and will help you around. Happy will show you around, and you can have all day to adjust in. Your training starts tomorrow after breakfast, and breakfast ends up at 9 AM, so don’t be late.”

“I won’t. Thank you Mr. Stark.”

So you started to follow that Happy guy around, paying attention to what he was saying while showing you around. You saw many rooms around from many heroes you used to see on TV or the internet. You got excited to be one of them, or at least becoming one of them. Your room was the last one in the hall. Happy opened the door for you and everything was dark. Happy rolled his eyes and got your bags on the floor.

“Peter, it’s almost noon and you’re still sleep.”

“Just a couple of more minutes Mr. Happy, I had a late night trying to do that stuff Mr. Stark asked me to fix and I’m really tired.”

“Just get off bed, we have guests, remember? We talked about this yesterday.”

“Has she arrived yet?” He asked with his face buried on his pillow.

“She’s right next to me.”

The boy in bed got up in a heartbeat. He was wearing nothing but his sweatpants, he had small bags under his eyes and also had a face of the person who had just woken up and didn’t want to. You pitied him, he looked very tired. The boy smiled just a little bit to see you in front of him, and you smiled back. Happy got your bags over your bed and got to the window.

“Maybe put on some clothes, Pete.” He said and the boy got the first shirt he found on the floor. A gray shirt with the saying ‘Midtown School of Science And Technology’. Happy opened the blinds, letting the light come into the room, revealing more clearly every detail in there.

“Sorry. I’m Peter Parker, nice to meet you.” He stood his hands in the air, waiting for you to shake it, which you did.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” He smiled and you smiled back.

“So I’m going to leave you two alone, don’t do anything stupid. And since you missed lunch, you both can grab a sandwich in the kitchen, but don’t tell Tony cause he’s gonna be pissed if he finds out that you’re not eating your lunch properly Peter.”

“Fine. Thank you, Mr. Happy.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Be nice to her.” Happy got out of the room, closing the door behind him.

You sat on your bed. This half of the room was fully empty, the opposite of the other half of the room, that was Peter’s part. His table had so many thing over it that you couldn’t even identify what was being done there. So many objects, open books and devices you didn’t even know. His bed was completely messy, with at least two blankets over it, two pillows and his Spider Man suit over there. At the other side of the bed there were so many books pilled together, forming a huge wall of books, and one of them even had a mug over it. The walls were covered with projects, some photos and newspapers cuts. If looked like it had life in it, and your side was still not as good as it.

“Sorry about the mess, I didnt get any time to organize it yesterday. I had so many work to do and since I’m leaving for a bit next week, I need to get it done. Don’t mind the books, they used to be in a shelf located on what’s now your bed.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take you space.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” He smiled at you and started to clean his desk. “So, you’re the girl with a lot of powers, right? Mr. Stark told me you have plenty of them.”

“Well, I think I have plenty, but they don’t make any sense combined, I guess. I can switch my shape, it’s called shapeshifting, as Mr. Stark said. Like, who do you want me to turn into?”

“Humm… I don’t know, myself.” You closed you eyes and concentrated on how Peter looked like, and when you opened them, Peter’s face looked hilarious.

“You look just like me.”

“I know, right?” You said changing back to what you really were.

“I loved that. What else?” You teleported to behind him, and he turned looking for you, and got scaried to see you facing him from behind. “Teleportation, good.”

“I also can get invisible if I want.” You said turning invisible, but them coming back to normal after that. “I can manipulate the four elements, specially fire. But I’m not going to show it to you, because in my opinion, it’s the most dangerous one. But the coolest one is this.” Your mouth remained still, but Peter could hear your voice.

“Telepathy.” He said and smiled. “I liked that.”

“I can also control minds, and get into other people’s dream if I want to, but it requires much of my energy and it’s definitely not nice and a bit confusing.”

“I like your powers. I was just bitten by a radioactive spider and got spidey things. Not as cool as yours.”

“Dude, you can crawl the walls of New York. That’s my dream.”

“Maybe I could take you someday.” He smiled and looked at your eyes. Was he flirting with you?

“Maybe, just tell me when.”

“Whenever you want to, babe.” Okay, he was definitely flirting with you. “So you’re from New York?”

“Kind of. I’m from Staten Island, but I lived in many other places around New York. Hell’s Kitchen, Brooklyn, Queens, Midtown and even the Upper East Side.”

“Wait. Queens? That’s where I live with my aunt.”

“Don’t you live here?”

“Oh no. I come to stay here sometimes, but I have an aunt, she’s kind of like my mom. She raised me. And I still have to go to school, and we’re not exactly anywhere near anything. So, I still have to be around the city sometimes. I stay here in summers, or just like right now, when Tony wants me training or on a mission.”

“So that’s what you meant by leaving next week.”

“Yes! But it’s just for a week. I have some final tests before my vacation, so I’ll stay here for two months probabily. Mr. Stark wants me to train you.”

“Training, sharing a room. I think we’re going to be stuck with each other for a very long time.”

“I really don’t mind.” He smiled and you smiled back.

“Yeah, me neither.”

Peter was really cool, and you just bounded instatly. He helped you unpack, organizing your things in the closet inside the room and decorating a bit of your side of the room. You told him that you were an orphan since you were eight. An accident caused by your fire powers burned your parents house down and you were the only survivor, as a curse just like you always thought. So you had to live in many foster homes and were always kicked out by being too weird for the family. They were scared of having you around their kids. It never lasted long, but the one that really lasted was the last one, but you were kicked out of the house just like happened other times. The parents were really abusive and they didn’t like when you arrived late. So Tony had his eye on you since he found out about your story, and since you were living on the Upper East Side with that really rich family, and used your powers to turn into a grown man to buy drinks at a liquor store. Last week, he finally contacted you, when he found out you were in the foster system again. As he said himself, you were now legally his child, and could live with him at that tower. Peter also told his story, of how he lost his parents, his uncle Ben, how he got bitten by that spider and told a little bit about his life back in New York. You had plenty of things in common, but he had a home and a family, you didn’t.

The next week was really good. Waking up early, having breakfast with some of the heroes like Wanda, Natasha and sometimes, Bruce. Tony, Happy and Peter were always there too. And afterwards, training, all day. You liked what you were doing, training and at night, studying with a tutor Tony hired to home school you. It was your last year of High School, so it wouldn’t be needed for much time. At night, you would just hang around with Peter, maybe watch some TV or something. But the week went by too fast, and he had to leave back to New York. You missed him, everything just seemed boring and quiet without him. You had to admit, you hated to see him gone. When Peter came back, you just spent every minute of your day together. It was a weekend, so you didn’t have any school or training, so that meant free day for both of you. It was only movies, snacks and a lot of talking. He told you about his tests, about his school and how his friends were kind of different with him, except for Ned, who he told that still the same old friend. You told him about your week too, and how Natasha came to train you and it was a heavier training, but the best one yet, and she was really sweet with you.

Many months passed, you got closer and closer to Peter. You both talked about your insecurities and demons. He was helping a lot with your very common nightmares of that horrible night. He would literally wake up in the middle of the night and come to lay in your bed and not getting to sleep until he knew that you were sleeping peacefully. And if you asked him not to go back to his bed, he would just stay there all night long. During trainings, he tried to impress you and flirting a lot in your point of view, but you get flirting and being nice mixed up sometimes, but you loved to flirt back. Sometimes he would just give you small blinks and cheek kisses around, but a forehead kiss and a hug were his thing to do with you every morning. Your heart always pounded when you were around him, specially when he was shirtless, that occured during trainings and at night before bed. You liked him, and you think he likes you too, but wasn’t very sure.

One day, he asked if you wanted to come to the city with him. He was graduating in three weeks and he was coming back to his New York home for two weeks and didn’t want to be away from you for so long. So he said you could stay at his apartment, and come to his graduation day. You didn’t even knew how he was still graduating in his school if he was also being homeschooled with you, but he said Mr. Stark and his director had an arrengement for him to only go to school in important dates like tests or other stuff, due to his internship outside town, but in condition to be homeschooled with all the content he had in school. So while he was away from the city, he wouls just keep doing whatever he needed to do.

“There’s also prom night. And I don’t have a date, so if you want to come with me.” He asked, kind of shy.

“I never went to one of those.”

“Really? But you weren’t homeschooled, right?” He seemed a bit surprised.

“No, but no one ever invited me to come to one of those proms, bowls, homecomings or school dances.”

“I can’t believe it. Okay, so I’m gonna make this one special. Pretend that I didn’t ask you anything.”

“There’s no need Pete.”

“I want to. But do you wanna come to New York with me?”

“Of course, you idiot.” He smiled and hugged you.

“So, we’re leaving by friday. Okay?”

“Okay.”

You had to find the perfect dress. So you asked Happy for help, but you both couldn’t find anything good enough online. You were almost going with that old black dress you had, but still, you wanted something special. But you weren’t even oficially asked yet. On Thursday, when it got dark, Peter took you to the rooftop to see the stars and eat some junk food he asked Happy to get him, getting totally out of your hero diet Tony specifically asked for you both to follow while training. But that didn’t matter for a while, and you had an awesome date, and at the end he got down on his knees, making you laugh very hard.

“Stop doing this, you’re making me nervous Y/N.”

“Sorry Pete, I can’t.” He held your hands and slightly laughed with you.

“Y/N Y/L/N, do you concede me the honor of taking you to prom?”

“Yes, Pete.” You said laughing and he got up laughing. “It’s getting late, and colder. Let’s go to bed.”

“Only if you agree to share your bed with me tonight.”

“No, good night Pete.”

“Come on, you’re gonna have to get used to it, cause I only have a bed in my room back in New York.”

“So let’s leave all the magic to New York.”

And so you got into the house again, back to your bedroom, where you changed into your pajamas and lied in your bed. Peter was kind of mad you didn’t let him share beds with you, so he slept only in his underwear to provoke you. You dry swallowed, and he noticed, and smiled, covering himself with the sheets.

“Don’t I get my good night kiss?”

“You don’t deserve it miss.” He said and you laughed a bit.

“You’re mean.”

“So are you.”

“Good night Pete.” You closed you eyes and after a few seconds, you felt his lips kiss your forehead, so you smiled.

“Good night my love.” Your heart pounded again, and you fell asleep smiling.

You both woke up early the next morning. Happy prepared the car to take both of you to the city, and you helped Peter prepare the breakfast for you three and Tony, who woke up early just to say goodbye and to tell he would be there for graduation day. It was a quick trip back to New York. Happy drove the car, Peter went on the front seat and you sat in the middle of the back seat. He kept his hand in the back seat holding yours for a long time, and that warmed you heart up. It didn’t took long and you were already in the streets of Queens, when Happy parked in front of a building, where a middle age woman was at the sidewalk, waiting. Peter got out of the car and hugged her for a very long time. Happy opened the door for you and you got out of the car. Peter pulled you by the hand, closer to the woman he was hugging.

“May, this is Y/N, that girl I told you about. And well, Y/N, this is aunt May. She’s basically my mom, but I call her aunt because of affective reasons.“

“It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“Thank you, it’s very nice to meet you too May.”

“Are you kids hungry? Cause I made some lunch.”

“May, you don’t have to pretend to know how to cook just to impress Y/N. She already knows you’re a terrible cooker.”

“Oh good, cause I ordered some homemade food from that old lady that lives down the street.” She made you laugh hard with that.

“It’s okay, I’m not that good as a chef either. Peter is the one who is always cooking stuff around.”

“Oh, my boy it’s just so good at everything.” She smutched his cheeks and he blushed.

“Stop it.” He said and it made you and May smile.

“So, are you going to have lunch with us Mr. Hogan?” May asked and they both crossed each others sights and thinks got kind of weird. It was clear that they had a crush on each other.

“I would appreciate it May, but Mr. Stark needs me back at the base as soon as possible. We have many things to do today.”

“At least get a sandwich. Go get it for him Peter.” He ran into the house and left you at the sidewalk with May. You both held you baggages and waited for Peter, who came back with a sandwich, a juice and an apple.

“Keep it healthy, Mr. Happy.” Peter blinked and Happy rolled his eyes.

“Thank you May. I’ll come with Mr. Stark for your graduation day.”

“Really?” Peter asked with his eyes shining.

“Of course. Everyone is coming, or you thought we would miss it?”

“I thought it was only going to be Mr. Stark.”

“So you better save some more seats for us. See you soon.” Happy got back into the car and drove off.

“Let’s go inside kids.”

Peter carried both of your bags and May lied a hand on your shoulder, guiding you into the building. The apartment was beautiful, much better than the one you used to live in when you were at some foster home in Queens. That one was really small and dirty. This one feels like a really nice place to stay and you liked it. Peter got the bags into his room and May showed you around. It wasn’t huge, but was really nice.

“I know it might not be big and luxurious as the place you live in but…”

“It’s perfect.” You interupted and May smiled.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“LET’S EAT!” Peter cheared and went running out of his bedroom, right into the dinning room.

You all had a nice lunch. You told May a little bit about your life, and she told a little bit about hers and Peter’s, and after lunch, while eating some sweets, she showed some kid pictures of Peter, who was really embaressed and blushed. You remained there until it was already very dark. Peter got his Spider Man suit on and May rolled her eyes to him.

“You just got back, and you’re going to be out patroling?”

“I’m actually going to take Y/N for a ride around town, but I’ ll need you to put on your suit.” He said directing to you and you agreed.

Tony designed a suit for you a few months ago. It was black and yellow, and had boots, just as you liked it. And a small mask covered part of your face. You liked it very much, and it was very comfortable. Peter had his mask on and so he said goodbye to May and you both got out by the window.

“I’m gonna need you to hold very tight to me.” He said and so you did, holding him by his back, involving his waist by your leg. “Okay, don’t let me go.”

So he jumped, but before hitting the ground, he started to bounce around his webs. You screamed and started to shake. He laughed and got to the rooftop of some building.

“Are you scared?”

“I’m so fucking terrified.” You said looking down, and he laughed, making you come out of his back and holding you on his front, and being really close to your face.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, looking at your eyes. You were mesmerized.

“Yes.” You replied and he smiled.

“Good. Maybe this will make you feel better.” He started to bounce around again, and you were helding very tight onto him.

You were screaming at the beggining, but it got really good with time. You were having a lot of fun, and Peter’s funny comments were relaxing you a lot. He stopped at a rooftop in front of a mall and sat by the bord. You sat next to him, and he held your hand.

“I don’t have a dress.” You said looking down.

“What?” He asked, looking at you.

“I don’t have a dress for prom.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I thought that wasn’t the kind of thing we usually talk about. And I want it to be a surprise. I want it to be perfect.”

“First, we talk about everything. Second, it will be perfect, you just need to be with me.” He held your hand tighter. “May can take you shopping tomorrow, and that way it will be a surprise to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

That night, he took you to eat dinner at a fast food store, but you ate at the rooftop of an old art gallery in Brooklyn, and watched the city that never sleeps still all awake, till it was very late and you both had to go home. May was already asleep when you got there and Peter got he bed prepared. It was a bunk bed, but the top bed was the only one unoccupied, since the other had your bags in it. You changed to your pajamas and Peter got his sweatpants on, and no shirt as always. He closed the door and the window for it not be too cold.

“I thought you said you only had one bed.”

“Yeah, I lied. But just because I never used the bottom bed. And because I wanted you to sleep with me.”

“You’re an idiot.” You got up to the top bed, but blocked Peter from getting in. “Nope, you’re going to sleep in the bottom.”

“Please, let me sleep with you.” He was pounting, and you smiled.

“Maybe if you put on some clothes, it will be nice.”

“You love my abs.” He said pointing to his naked body.

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t care, I’m gonna sleep were I want to, however I want to.” He lied next to you and you got on your way to get to the bottom bed.

“Whatever, I’m not sleeping with you.” But before you could get out, he held you by your waist and pulled you to him, and trapped you into his arms and legs. He buried his face at the back of your neck and used a web to turn the lights off.

“Yes, you are.” He already had his eyes closed, but he made you more comfortable, holding you in a comfortable hug and covering you with the blanket.

“Where is my good night kiss?” You asked, turning to face him. His eyes opened and looked directly into your mouth, and he just kept starring for a couple of seconds, but he kissed your forehead.

“Good night baby.” He said and held you closer.

“Good night.”

The week went by very fast, and you did many things with him. You met his friends, he took you to patrol, but he also took you to many nice places. He even did the movie night with you and May, and it was a really nice date. May was being really sweet to you and even took you shopping for your dress, and paid it for you. She talked about Peter with so much love in her eyes, and you loved it. And so the day finally came, prom night. She helped both of you get ready, you in her room, Peter in his room. You knew very little about makeup, but May helped you with that. He waited at the living room until May announced you were ready, and so you came out of the room wearing a beautiful navy blue dress, sandals and a flawless makeup. Peter was mesmerized, and his eyes shined like they never did. His heart raced and he couldn’t help but show the biggest smile on his face.

“You look amazing.” He said, standing completely still.

“You look amazing too.” You replied and reached for his hand.

“I need to take pictures. Wait a minute.” May ran to get her phone and Peter just kept starring at you. He couldn’t get his eyes of you.

“You look like an angel.” He said still looking at your face.

“You’re making me blush.” You replied and hide your face on his neck.

“Don’t hide, love.” He said and you looked at his eyes and you both smiled.

May came with her phone, and took plenty of photos of you and with you. And so it was time, so she drove you to school, where it was full of students. You met with his friends, and you all just had a good time. You danced with them all, and Peter really sucked at dancing, but he was asking you for help all of the time. He was trying very hard to make you feel really comfortable around him, and it was working. You danced to every song playing that night. And so the slow dance came, and he held you very close. Hands on you waist, your face resting on his chest, your arms holding him in a soft hug, and his head resting at the top of yours. You stayed like that for a very long time, but before the song ended, your eyes met and couldn’t get off each other.

“This is the part where I kiss you.” He said keeping his voice low. You could feel his breath against your face.

“So what are you waiting for Pete?” He leaned and closed his eyes, and so your lips met for the first time. It was very slow and sweet, just like you always imagined it would be. Now you were doing what you both craved the most for many months, and you wanted to take advantage of every single second of it.

“Do you wanna go somewhere more private?” He asked and you agreed. He took you out and got to the rooftop of a build right across the street. You could see people walking around, but you didn’t really care about them, you just cared about the boy next to you. He sat down and pulled you to his lap, and started to kiss you again, making it more intense this time, and so you both stopped and smiled. “Hi gorgeous.”

“Hi.” You smiled and kissed him again. “Thank you for tonight.”

“I was supposed to be the one thanking you, my love.”

“My love?”

“If you don’t mind me calling you like that, of course.”

“I always loved when you called me like that.” You kissed him again and you both remained like that for a long time. “But do you really love me?”

“I was talking about that with May today. She asked if I liked you, and until last week I thought so. Since the very first day I liked you, but after that day, that first day here that I took you out, I realized I don’t like you. I love you, Y/N, and all of that because Mr. Stark had this huge idea to put us in the same room, doing a lot of things together. I love every single bit about you. Your smile, how you just be yourself all of the time…”

“I love you too, Pete.” You interrupted him and he smiled.

“And I love how you say my name.” He said before kissing you one more time.

After that night, you never spent a moment apart. That week was the best of your life, and graduation day came. Everyone was in town, and after meeting them all at the event, you sat next to Tony, by the end of the row. Your eyes met Peter’s and you both smiled to each other.

“What is up with you two?” Tony asked and you looked at him very quickily.

“Nothing, I was just smiling at my friend.” You replied, blushing a little bit.

“Cut the crap, Y/N. You’re blushing. I know you like him, and he clearly likes you.”

“You think so?” You asked and Tony laughed.

“Oh kid, he really likes you.” He said looking back to Peter.

The cerimony took a while, but you all went to celebrate with Peter afterwards. Everyone was there, Natasha, Wanda, Bruce, Rhodes, Pepper, May, Tony, Happy and you. And he had fun with everyone, but when he saw you one more time, he gave you a big hug and pulled you aside.

“I need to ask you something.” He said, putting his hat in your head.

“Anything.” You said and he smiled and gave you a small kiss on the lips.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked and you agreed with your head.

“Yeah, Peter, of course!” He kissed you again and flipped you around, smiling during the kiss.

“Kids, stop for the photo.” May said, and Peter stopped still kissing you, and you heard May taking the photo.” This one is way too cute.”

“I loved it.” You said looking at the picture, and looking at Peter after.

“I love you.”

[chimbu617]

A HTTYD Micro Memoir of the Past Ten Years

     It was 2010. I was 8. I just moved to a new town and as someone who was bad at trying to talk to people, I spent all my free time in my imagination and/or with my brother. He was my best friend and we did everything together.      My parents weren't big on going to theaters especially with an 8 and 12-year-old. So whenever we watched the newest, latest movie it was always through Red Box, they somehow always got for free. They rented two movies. I don't remember how they picked them out, if it was their or mine and my brother's choice. One night, after dinner, they popped in a disc and played the movie for us. I vividly remember how I felt sitting in our faux leather couch, cuddled up with a blanket in a dark room, focused on the movie.      The camera swoops in over a vast ocean in the dead of night. Pillers of stone carvings extruded out of the water with fire burning inside the mouths. In the distance, a beautiful island inhabited with wooden shacks. Small specs of fire can be seen in the village. Over this is a voice-over by the lead character, "This is Berk." A line that will follow me throughout the next 10 years of my life.      I spent the rest of that year dreaming of owning a terrible terror and have a friend to explore my world with. Of course, that was virtually impossible. Jump to 2012. I was 11. The first episode of Dragons: Riders of Berk aired. My brother and I begged our parents to record the series and we watched it religiously. We jumped into my bed turned on my tv and grew immensely excited for this world we both developed a love for.      I remember how I watched Heather first be introduced and immediately hating her character from the moment she was on screen. I created a self insert character where "I" washed up onto berk after a shipwreck with amnesia. I always thought that Heather stole my premise and then ruined it by betraying the main characters. I now enjoy her character and look back on my childish foolishness.      I guess my mom at some point stopped recording the show after my brother moved out and I grew out of the show, but not the fandom. 2013, I was 12 and just started 7th grade. The teaser trailer of the second movie came out and I watched it with awe. I was conflicted by the redesign of Hiccup yet I probably watched that trailer more times than I could count. I met my best friend and we both spent our time in science class drawing. She convinced me to start drawing actually. I spent that time drawing and watching crack compilations for Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons.      I never stopped my love for the world despite not having a lot of content to fill in the void in my heart. I ended up teaching myself Viking/Celtic runes, so I could read the text in the movie and show. It was 2014 when I taught one of my friends in my 8th grade English class the runes so we could pass notes in class. We wrote notes that absolutely made no sense but had so much fun knowing that we were the only ones who understood it. Our teacher caught us passing the note and took it from us. The look on her face was priceless. She looked frustrated and confused. She gave us a baffled look and continued on with class without a word.      I wasn't able to watch the second movie in the theater either. I ended up pirating it off some streaming site. I laughed and cried. At his death, my parents came in to ask if I was ok.      Several weeks after my 14th birthday in 2015, Race to the Edge's first season was released onto Netflix. I ended up binging all of Riders of Berk and Defenders of Berks in a few nights. I cried when I saw Stoick alive again and revived my undying love for this franchise.      January of 2016, my brother called me and asked if I had seen the new season of Race to the Edge. I ended up watching only a few episodes before falling out of interest in the series.     In December of 2017, I decided to catch up with the show. I would wake up, go to school, go home, did homework, binge as many episodes as I could and repeat. Soon after I finished it was 2018 and the new and last season was released. I had my friend come over to spend the night and I straight up said "Sorry, but I want to watch this" and she had to sit there and watch the show without any context of prior seasons. For Halloween that year that same friend and I ended up dressing up as Hiccup and Jack Frost. My mom gave me a stuffed toothless she was holding for Christmas for my costume. Some older lady told me she liked my plush cat.      When I found out about The Hidden World coming out my friend group and I decided to go see it in theaters. I accidentally overslept that day and rushed to the theaters where my friends were waiting. One of them ended up buying a ticket for me, refusing to accept my money when I offered to pay him back. There aren't words to describe my emotions in those few seconds the Dreamworks logo played. I was excited at being able to finally see one of the movies in the franchise in theaters. Although I started to feel my heart being pulled apart by tiny strings attached to the muscle. I then realized in that small amount of time that, this was it. This was the end. No more. That everything I watched, learned, waited for was for this moment. The dragon classes and types I learned, the runes I used, the music I would close my eyes to and imagine I was in a different world, and the reality in front of me ever since I was a child that I could never live in this world. It was all in front of me.      The movie played, and sure I laughed at Tuff, watched in awe at the beautiful plant and sand animation, cried at their parting, and rejoiced at their reunion. As I left the theaters though I couldn't help but think, "It was better than expected but not as good as I hoped". Whenever someone asked me my thoughts of the movie I would tell them those exact words. Looking back now, I don't know what I hoped for it to be. A happier ending? No, I came into this expecting the loss of dragons. A more interesting villain? I can't think of any better villain for the context of the scenario. I left it as such. I hoped for better yet knew not of what I hoped for.     It was winter break in 2019 and I left my dorm to go home and visit my family. The first night I was back my mom said she recorded something for me. I sat in the recliner as my cat snuggled into my lap and my mom started up Homecoming. I appreciated the fact that my parents haven't seen the second or third movie, yet sat through Homecoming with no context for me. This last Thursday, the 19th of March, I was working on my theater assignment mid-quarantine and randomly had the desire to watch Ratatouille. As I finished the film it reminded me of How to Train Your Dragon. With the whole human and animal bond that overcomes the differences between the two species to work together. I ended up wanting to watch the film again. As I watched it, I thought to myself, just the first movie, right? As I started The Hidden World, I thought to myself, just the movies, right? As I started Riders of Berk, I thought to myself, just the pre-time skip series, right? As I started Race to the Edge, I thought to myself, I need to drop my Biology course since I'm gonna fail.      When I rewatched the third movie all my original doubts on the film vanished. At the end when Hiccup decided to let Toothless go, I didn't cry. But, when Hiccup tells us, the viewer, that dragons were waiting for us to get along, I sobbed, more than I did any other time watching the entire series in the last 10 years. I realized two completely separate things. We as humans will never earn the right to have dragons, as we will never get our crap together. We are filled with corrupted morals and mindsets and will ruin everything and anything we get ahold of. The second thing was something I experienced earlier. Though I was afraid of the end I was so used to things claiming to be over and then the creators ending up making more for a cash grab. In that moment of watching 30-year-old Hiccup throw his son into the air, I realized that this was it. This was the end. The end of the movie, the end of the story, and the end of a large part of my childhood.      When I graduated high school I cried in my car after our practice run. I was growing up and I would have to be leaving everything I had known until then behind. It was Troll Hunters a series I started before I moved into my dorm that helped me calm down and move into a new place. It helped me understand that I can't just change and leave what I love behind. I can take it with me beyond this line I drew myself. The past few days changed that though. I couldn't take my beloved world across the line with me. It will forever be chained into my past as something I can look back on yet have no expectations for any future with it. I cried because there was nothing in my hands that I could do to keep what I loved with me. But, with Stoick's words "With love comes loss, that's part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, it's all worth it."      Thank you How to Train Your Dragon. You have given me so much. More than I could say. More than I know. We have grown up together, but now it's time for both of us to move on. Time for me to let you go.

Whoever stuck around until the end, thank you. I felt I had to write this as my fingers were itching for it. This is just a first draft but I doubt I’m ever coming back to this. I wanted to do something for the anniversary but like I said I didnt start getting back into httyd until the last 2 weeks and I just found out. I wrote this in like 2-3 hours, and I’m suprised at myself for powering through it. I’m still working on writing personal memoir pieces so excuse my skills. Anyways thank you again and Happy Ten Year Anniversary HTTYD!

[angeliclunaetic]

just thinking back to the day i met him, till now and,, there was always something about him. something that drew me in and everything just felt right. That day we met,, something about him just drew me in. idk if it was his sense of humor or just how polite n sweet and caring he was in general but it was,, something. idek why i even texted him in the first place. i just commented on his stuff and decided to text him. we talked for a few and then he showed me a pic of himself and i was just,, in awe. he really was the cutest thing ever. yes i had thought abt using him when i first saw him but,, i couldnt even if i had wanted to. i seen his pic and thought “yeah he looks like he’d be easy to use��� but then by the end of texting him that night,, i fell so deeply for him. actually no. i already fell for him. way before we even met. that must be how everything felt so right. but just texting him a little bit that first night,, i just instantly wanted to know more about him. i never even talked abt someone else to my gc and for some reason i had the urge to talk about him,, like i knew he was the one but didn’t realize it. and then when we called for the first time,, i swear i had butterflies. even though i was otp with him and his friend,, i was so nervous to just talk to him. i had thought of him as my crush at that point. no one had ever made me feel that way. i never got so nervous to talk to anyone. i wanted to stay quiet that entire time so i wouldnt say something stupid and embarrass myself but something about him,, made me want to be so open. so i talked to him,, and when we got off the phone of our first call,, i was so incredibly sad. i wanted to talk to him more and more and i just wanted to call him again already,, but i wasnt sure how he had felt or if he even felt the same. i thought he did but i didnt wanna assume and make a fool out of myself. i wasnt sure if he had a crush or if he was just being nice. but after a while it was easy to realize. he was way too sweet and caring to me. more than a friend should be. he was there for me the night i was bawling otp w my ex. and he got mad and upset about how my ex was treating me in a way that was different than just my friends. and thats what made me fall for him even more. just him. being himself. him being so sweet. so caring. him just being there for me and not judging me and wanting others to treat me right. and when we videocalled that first time,,i was so nervous. i was worried he’d see what i look like and not be attracted to me anymore. but he still was. but i was so nervous anyways. but when i saw him on video call for the first time,, i was in shock. how could someone be so cute. so perfect. how could someone capture my heart just by simply smiling at me. i knew from then, that i, was in love with him. i wanted to be his so badly. but when he had asked me out i wanted to just scream yes at him,, but something in my mind told me to just calm down and wait,, however a part of me was worried that if i had made him wait that he’d find someone better and leave me. but he didn’t he stayed. even after that night i had told him everything. of how i used to use people and how i had originally planned to use him and he still stayed. i swear i felt my heart break that night and i was crying so much out of fear that he’d leave me before we even got together. i had such strong feelings for him and i wanted him to be mine. but i wanted to make sure i was away from,, that thing,, and that i fully loved him before i got into anything serious. i didnt wanna jump from relationship to relationship either. a part of me just wanted to be single and just have fun. but just,, talking to him and texting him,, i wanted him. i didnt care if i wasnt single. i just wanted him. but also a part of me didnt want to love again. or “love” as i should say considering i never loved anyone before him. i was mentally and emotionally exhausted and relationships are just so much work and you have to give someone such a large piece of yourself and i wouldnt be able to handle being broken again. so many thoughts ran through my head. “what if i dont love him, what if im just attracted to him because im going through things and he’s there for me” “what if he wont wait for me” “what if he doesnt like me “ “what if im using him and dont realize” “what if i get hurt” all these “what if’s” and i never once thought abt the reality of it all. that i, had feelings for him. that he felt the same. that he was willing to wait for me, even if it took years. that he would never hurt me and even allowed himself to be hurt by me if that meant even just getting a chance at me loving him. i guess i was just so worried and just in shock. no ones felt so deeply for me before.and that night that i had asked him out,,, i had seen a pic of my ex with this new girl and i felt absolutely nothing towards it. so then,, thats when i knew. i was over him. that emotional attachment was gone. and my feelings for sam were real. and we had called that night,, that entire night i was so nervous and got butterflies, and i realized i never stopped smiling once during that whole phone call. and after we got of,, i, once again, was extremely sad. i wanted to hear his voice talking to me for hours and hours. i wanted to smile and feel nervous and get butterflies. and at that point i was like,, fuck it. yes i was still worried that my feelings werent true. but what was the harm in trying. he was the only person to have caught my eye in like,, ever. he was on my mind that whole night and probably abt like 30 mins after we got off call i asked him out. my feelings for him were too strong. i was worried he wouldnt wait and i couldnt risk losing someone as special as him to someone else,, if i did, i wouldve never forgiven myself. im glad i asked him out. even though i had surprised myself by it,, i just couldnt wait any longer,, i needed to make him mine. and i did. and i wouldnt change it for the world. the first month for me was very,, rough. of course we were still getting to know each other and our boundaries,, and i of course made some mistakes. my fears of possibly not having true feelings were coming back. and it pushed him away because he didnt wanna get hurt. and he almost left me. those two nights that we had an issue and he had left me,, they broke me. they really did. that  was the worst i had ever been. the crying,, the screaming,, the anger and complete sadness i felt. i felt as if i had lost everything. i felt as if i had nothing left. if i didnt have him,, then,, who am i. im nothing without him. he’s my other half. my soulmate. and i thought i had lost him. im glad im so annoying and clingy otherwise i’d be so fucking heartbroken without him. we had only been together for less than a month those two times and yet i felt so strongly for him. nothing has ever made me feel this way. i had never wanted to keep someone in my life so bad before. it was like,, i needed him to breathe. i needed him to smile. i just,, needed him. i cant live without him. just thinking about a life without him makes me fucking sick. i want him and only him for the rest of our lives. no one can even compare to him. im just,, in shock. like im really in love with him and it just amazes me. im sitting here writing this as he’s sound asleep and i just. i miss him a lot. i guess all my feelings are coming out now since ive been distant the past month but,, i dont care. ill gladly shout from the rooftops how much i love him. god there’s so much more i could say about us. even before we started dating. i cant get over the rush i felt. the excitement, the nerves, the butterflies,, even all the “what if’s”,, i still get nervous and get butterflies when talking to him but ofc they’re not gonna be as strong as when we had met and declared our love for each other. speaking of love,, now im reminded of the day i had told him that i love him,, we had “argued” the day before and i thought i had lost him for good,, and that next day,,i wanted nothing more than to just hold him and kiss him and tell him that i love him. i know the words “i love you” is such a meaningful thing,, i couldnt help but tell him. its exactly how i felt. i loved him. i couldnt be apart from him,, even after only a week of dating him,, i was in love that night i thought he was leaving me for good,, absolutely broke me. and the next day i just wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. even though i was so nervous to tell him that i loved him,, i just,, i knew i was sure. no one had ever made me feel so strongly about them. yeah ive cried over my ex. but nothing could ever compare to just the complete distraught i felt that night. that crying so much it burned my throat and threw up,, the screaming,, just the complete sadness and anger i felt. after that,, i knew i loved him, and i wasnt afraid to tell him. i was nervous bc of how he’d react but i knew that i was never more sure of anything else in my life. i love him. and i want to be with him forever. 

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

[pinesconessecrets]

Ice to Meet You

Merry Christmas @ladynightmare12 ! I hope you enjoy the fic!! <: I had a lot of fun with the soulmate AU, since it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. I combined it with the first meetings AU too. Have a great Christmas! <3

****

Wirt had given up on trying to find his soulmate when he was thirteen. He still remembered the conversation that came after he mentioned it to his mom. She had choked on her tea, wheezing until she’d managed to regain control of herself again. Then began the spiel about, “Oh, sweetie. You’ll meet her at some point in your life, don’t give up now!” and Wirt just sighed. Internally, of course. He didn’t want to upset his mom any further. A good bit of everyone in his grade had found their soulmate, leaving Wirt feeling terribly alone. Sara tried to comfort him, except she ran into her soulmate a few months later; it was some guy named Brian. That was a fun day.

He was a little more than relieved to graduate high school, which meant moving away to a college in a different state. A college in Oregon had caught his eye and he applied, half expecting to get denied. But lo and behold, the college actually accepted him and even had a full ride scholarship too.

Greg was against Wirt moving across the country when he broke the news. Wirt reassured him that he would call every day and keep in touch. He wouldn’t be left out just because Wirt didn’t live in the same house anymore.

Wirt enjoyed the trip to Oregon. His parents rented a small u-Haul for the stuff Wirt could take to put in his dorm. He was lucky enough to score a single person room, complete with his own bathroom. He didn’t think he could have managed if he had to share a dorm and a bathroom, much less having to suffer from public bathrooms.

They made the drive out to be like a mini vacation, taking their time since they left a few days early. Wirt’s nerves almost got the best of him a few times, the realization of him living somewhere that wasn’t with his mom and stepdad. Thankfully Greg managed to quickly distract him before he grew too anxious, eerily able to quickly figure out when his nerves were beginning to act up.

With the help of everyone, it didn’t take long before Wirt’s room was set up. He still had a few things to tweak here and there, like moving his desk closer to the window and hanging up his poems on the walls. He didn’t have much time to be particularly picky about how his room was set up with his parents and brother around.

They stayed in town for a few days, exploring the place with Wirt in tow. It definitely was a college town considering the absurd amount of fast food restaurants around. Like seriously, who needed this many fast food places? At least there were a few cafes for Wirt to hang out in. Cafes were pretty sweet places to chill at and they had a great effect on Wirt when it came to writing poetry. He was excited about that.

Tears were shed by his mom and Greg on the day they had to leave. Greg made Wirt promise to call him every day, and that was a rock fact. Wirt lingered in the parking lot for a bit longer than he intended, staring off into space before letting out a long sigh. He hoped he would be able to survive the semester before Christmas break. His next adventure in life had begun, only to bring challenges he had no way to prepare for.

Wirt got to studying diligently when the semester began. The majority of his classes were the core classes every freshman were required to take, including math. Thank god that he only needed to take two semesters of it due to his major in English. Math was one of his most detested classes; it was the worst. Maybe he was being overly dramatic, but Wirt would rather prefer to listen to someone scrape their nails on a chalkboard repeatedly for hours than be stuck in math class for even an hour. The entire point was above him, and the fact that other kids were majoring in math just blew his mind. They were to be feared.

The semester started out slow but picked up steam as the weeks went on. Midterms came and went, letting Wirt breathe a sigh of relief when his passing grades were posted.

He video called Greg before he went out trick or treating on Halloween, both happy and mortified that Greg decided to go as a garden gnome. Their trip to the Unknown was still very present in their minds years after it happened. At least now it was easier to deal with, and they didn’t have to worry about being sent into a fit of panic when winter rolled around anymore. Wirt admitted that Greg wore the outfit far better than he did, earning a protest of “No, you wore it better!” from Greg. They bickered back and forth until their mom told them to knock it out or else Greg wouldn’t be getting any candy that year. That shut Greg up and he hastily told Wirt goodbye and that he’d show him how much candy he got before going to bed.

Wirt found himself growing progressively more stressed as the end of the semester rolled around. His professors shoved study guides down their student’s throats and made it very clear that passing their finals would make or break their grades. Wirt found himself spending more and more time at his favorite cafe. He would have been surprised that he hadn’t drunk all of their tea if he wasn’t so stressed about passing his finals.

A week before finals, the unthinkable happened.

Wirt was on his way to the Jasmine Brew Cafe, lost in thought about his upcoming math final. It was the one he dreaded the most, and rightfully so. Other students in his class struggled as much as he did. The professor didn’t know how to break down the lesson so other kids could understand what he was trying to teach. Wirt barely managed to understand what the heck he was talking about most the time, and he hoped it would be enough.

Of course, the dork was so lost in thought that he wasn’t watching where he was walking. His foot made contact with frozen ice on the sidewalk, causing him to slip and fall down to the pavement. Wirt miraculously held onto his notebooks, laying on his back, winded from his fall.

Someone with unruly brown hair peered down at him with a look of mild concern. Wirt wished he could turn invisible because he knew that everyone around him saw what just happened.

“Hi there. It’s ice to meet you finally.” The other boy paused, before continuing. “I hope that’s not weird? I’ve seen you around campus before and I noticed you were always alone and I was going to say hi but I always got distracted and oh my god I’m sorry I’m kinda rambling. I tend to do that a lot and my sister always punches me and yep I’m gonna shut up now.”

Wirt’s wrist burned. That was what his stupid soulmate mark said. ‘Hi there, it’s ice to meet you finally.’

He wanted to say something witty back, but all that could come out of his mouth was, “Was that a motherfucking pun?” He rarely cussed, but dangit he was sleep deprived and angry that he was stupid enough to fall and slip on ice.

The other boy blanched, his extended hand frozen in shock. Wirt shuffled to his feet, clutching his notebooks to his chest. An awkward silence enveloped the two, only to be broken by the other boy.

“Do you want to go somewhere warm? Get some coffee or something?”

Wirt broke free of his surprise. “Uh, um, sure. I was heading to the Jasmine Brew Cafe to get some studying done. It’s right up the street here.”

“Cool. I’ve only been there once or twice, so lead the way.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, looking at Wirt expectantly.

“Right.” Wirt turned on his heels and began walking to the cafe, fidgeting with the spiral of a notebook. He knew that he was probably acting slightly like a jerk. Okay, a lot like a jerk. He had spent the majority of his teenage years resenting the idea of soulmates, knowing he’d never find his and that he’d live the rest of his life alone. But look what happened. He ran into his soulmate.

The rush of warm air made Wirt feel grateful for heating, heading to his usual spot by the wall. He sat with his back to the wall, and a large window to his left. Being able to look out into the street helped declutter his mind.

He almost relaxed, until the other boy - his soulmate - slid into the chair across from him. He looked as nervous as Wirt was.

“I’m Dipper, by the way. I don’t think I introduced myself yet.”

“Wirt. It’s um, nice to meet you, I guess,” he mumbled, his awkwardness hitting him like a fricking train. Now that the fact that yep, him finding his soulmate was a thing, was starting to sink in, a feeling of panic also begun to set in too.

“Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re freaking out there a little. I mean, I’m kinda freaking out too, but that’s because I’m super pumped to have finally run into my soulmate.” Dipper looked giddy almost.

Wirt chewed on a nail. “Y-yeah, I’m okay. It’s just… I gave up on finding my soulmate years ago, so I never thought I would actually run into them. I hope you don’t think I’m a jerk or anything because oh my god I feel so bad for being cold to you.”

When Dipper was silent, Wirt looked up to find him holding back a snicker. With the biggest shit eating grin, Dipper replied, “Was that a motherfucking pun?”

“Oh my god.” Wirt groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “Do not use my own words against me.”

“Kinda hard to considering they’re right here.” Dipper rolled his sleeve back, revealing the words scrawled across his arm. God, they were even in Wirt’s own handwriting. How crazy was that?

Wirt reached out to touch the words on Dipper’s arm, stopping short once he realized what he was about to do. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to take in. But I don’t mind if you wanna take a closer look at them.” His voice was quiet.

Figuring that he may as well roll with the punches, Wirt pulled his own sleeve back, exposing Dipper’s godawful pun written on the inside of his forearm. Dipper didn’t hesitate before running his fingers over Wirt’s pale skin, tracing the scratchy letters of his own handwriting. It looked different from his own, his letters rushed and hurried versus the flowing loops of Wirt’s.

Wirt finally caved and traced the words on Dipper’s arm. The two dorks sat in silence, no words needing to be exchanged as they let the importance of the day truly sink in.

The corners of Dipper’s mouth quirked up in a grin after a while. “So, did you wanna get a coffee and chat? And maybe tell me how you’ve bean all these years.”

Wirt had a feeling the puns weren’t ever going to stop.

[skinnyghosttears]

May 10, 2021

8:16 am

I have the shape of a whale rn. I dont want to weight myself for a while.

Im gonna exercise a lot today, no matter what. The plan is 504kcal, maybe I can do something less.

Im gonna eat some avocado with a tortilla and some protein cheese for lunch and some rice for dinner. I want a snack? White monster.

And water, and tea.

I'll be 59kg for saturday or sunday. I will.

9:35 am

Managed to lower the calories to 369 for the whole day. Im at the window waiting to see mom leaving so I can go and exercise until 12 pm.

I already had some water so I will not weight myself today lmao.

10:03 am

While Im on the cyclette I rememebered that my grandma will come soon here. Didnt saw her since october, so she will clearly notice thay I lost a lot of weight.

I jave to plan high volume meals for restrict without her noticing or she will bring it up like 3 times for each meal. Also, I think my parents will go away this or the next weekend, so I have time to do at least a longer fast! My brother doesnt care and I can straight up lie to him without risk him checking on me. I think that I can skip friday dinner faking eating pop corns, skip saturday lunch too faking some nausea (I can fake eatig a couple of biscuits woth some tea, then eat a piece of pizza for saturday dinner like nothing happened. So I should be able to do a 30hours fast. I want to plan a certain amount of water to drink, If I crave food I have to drink an entire liter before, so I'll be too full of water. I have to find a way to dont binge. Im thinking about trying to not weight myself until saturday morning, but imagine my sadness finding out I will not reach 59 for that day :')

Im thinking about eating already the other piece of pizza during this week so I will not risk to eat the whole half pizza on saturday.

Wednesday I'll go to the city for see the therapist, and Im really thinking about buy another skirt like the one I had or try a pair os jeans and buy them as a goal to reach since I saw them the other day but I had no time.

Sorry this post is getting long as usual, Im just trying to figure out what to do for live this week in a good way mentally.

Oh, I decided to overexercise only today and probably tomorrow, but just walk for the next days because of the really low calorie intake. I dont want to faint at all. Friday and saturday I will not walk exept for bring out the dogs since I'll have less than 200kcal both days.

3:00 pm

Changed plan to 375/392kcal (it depends on how I feel at dinner time) because my mother didnt finish the avocado at lunch and we hate to throw away food. Its not a big deal since I had to carry my big dog for a lot this morning while I was bringing her to the grooming. She weight almost 30kg so aim pretty sure I burned a lot. I had a breakdown because of her because she refused to follow me and she's old and sometimes her legs cant carry her for too long, so I had to break my back for carry her, just for find out in the last meters she was just refusing to follow me and the legs were fine. Mom went back home from work just for lunch so now I have more time for exercise in secret, plus I can exercise too when she'll be back since I said I need to rest after this morning (which is true but ai prefer to go to sleep early that risk to fall asleep now)

7:55 pm

Burned 2200kcal!(cyclette as always).

Im gonna eat some blueberries after dinner, idk about how many calories they have (I cant weight them because I froze them) but I cant calculate how much I burned because of my dog this morning so its fair.

8:57 pm

Succesful dinner even if there was a lot of yummy food on the table! Gonna make a coffee now and a tea later plus another half liter of water before bed.

[lcstxlcve]

1-92

make me admit stuff || fighr me jazzi 

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? yes2. You talked to an ex today, correct? yes 3. Have you taken someones virginity? yes4. Is trust a big issue for you? yes5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?i slept with her6. What are you excited for? getting married and a couple other things 7. What happened tonight? nothing yet8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? nope9. Is confidence cute? hella10. What is the last beverage you had? milk 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? one 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yes…13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? abbie 14. What are you going to spend money on next?furniture 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? yup16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? idk probably 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? abbie18. The last time you felt broken? two-ish weeks ago 19. Have you had sex today? not yet 20. Are you starting to realize anything? how lucky i am 21. Are you in a good mood? yes22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? already have 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?unfortunately 24. What do you want right this second? eat ice cream 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? wasnt cooley right?26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?yes

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? nope28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? psycho fell off the couch 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? no30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? nope31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? yes 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? boy i hope so 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? yeah 34. Listening to? machine by hi im case35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? yes but i prefer blood 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? probably at home idk 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? i barely believe in love38. Who did you last call? my mom39. Who was the last person you danced with? idk 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because i was happy and love her v much 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a month ago?42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?nope

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? i dont embarrass myself. period. 44. Do you tan in the nude? wouldnt you like to know45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? never in a million years46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? every night47. Who was the last person to call you? abbie48. Do you sing in the shower? ask abbie49. Do you dance in the car? nope50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yup and a lot of other things51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? never???52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? a good kind, but not always 53. Is Christmas stressful? it depends on whos coming 54. Ever eat a pierogi? eat what??55. Favorite type of fruit pie? i like abbies pie but cherry ig 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? serial killer57. Do you believe in ghosts? nope58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? why do i feel like ive answered this before?59. Take a vitamin daily? i take a lot of things daily 60. Wear slippers? nope61. Wear a bath robe? no 62. What do you wear to bed? boxers and a tank top 63. First concert? mcr64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target 65. Nike or Adidas? nike66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos wtf67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? safe and sound69. Ever take dance lessons? yes 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? i can only picture he doing me 71. Can you curl your tongue? yeah 72. Ever won a spelling bee? i didnt even go to school 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? nope74. What is your favorite book? fahrenheit 451 75. Do you study better with or without music?with 76. Regularly burn incense? nope77. Ever been in love? once 78. Who would you like to see in concert? the killers 79. What was the last concert you saw? mcr80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold81. Tea or coffee? tea82. Favorite type of cookie? oatmeal raison 83. Can you swim well? dont know how 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yeah 85. Are you patient? depends86. DJ or band, at a wedding? band87. Ever won a contest? so many 88. Ever have plastic surgery? dont need it 89. Which are better black or green olives? neither but black if  had to choose 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? do it 91. Best room for a fireplace? the bathroom 92. Do you want to get married? im already married to the most amazing woman in the world and im marrying her again, so yes. 

[meadow-dusk]

LONG LONG LONG

a music survey from livejournal days…

- TO TAKE THIS SURVEY, SIMPLY PUT YOUR MUSIC PLAYER ON SHUFFLE AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WITH THE TITLE OF THE SONG THAT COMES ON - [it’s better if you don’t cheat and don’t skip any songs.]

What is your name?: Moby Dick • Led Zep

How is your life going?: Get on the Right Thing • Paul McCartney

What is your nickname?: The Day the World Gets ‘Round • George Harrison

What is your theme song?: Little Games • The Yardbirds

What is your best friend’s theme song?: Wait • The Beatles

How is your life going to turn out?: Communication Breakdown • Led Zeppelin

Will you get married?: Four Sticks • Led Zeppelin

Will you have kids?: For What It’s Worth • Haley Reinhart

What will your job be?: Rattled • Traveling Wilburys

Did you/will you finish school?: Good Times, Bad Times • Led Zeppelin

Who is your best friend?: Behind that Locked Door • George Harrison

Who is or will be your significant other?: Think Pink! • Beyond Pink

Who do you like?: We’re All in This Together • High School Musical Cast

How will you die?: Stairway to Heaven • Led Zeppelin (YAAAAAS)

How do you feel right now?: Sentimental Journey • Ringo Starr

What is your favorite song?: Matilda Mother • Pink Floyd

How could you describe your parents?: Pilate and Christ • Jesus Christ Superstar (you can’t make this stuff up yall)

Your best friend[s]?: Postcards from Paradise • Ringo Starr

Your teachers?: She’s Not There • The Zombies

Your significant other [or crush…]?: Riding on a Bus • The Beatles (an interview)

Yourself?: Brian Bathtubes • The Beatles (taking requests)

What is your best feature?: The Riddle • Five for Fighting

What will you be/should you be, profession-wise?: Desire • U2

How could you describe this survey?: I Told You So • Randy Travis

What makes you angry?: Moanin’ • Chris Farlowe ft. Jimmy Page and a random sitarist (this song is so interesting)

What makes you sad?: Everything I Know • Mandy Gonzalez 

What makes you happy?: One • Bee Gees

What makes you dance?: I Still • Backstreet Boys

What is your favorite color?: Sundown • Gordon Lightfoot

How would you describe yourself?: Heart Attack • One Direction

Who is your worst enemy?: Little Soldier Boy • The Yardbirds

Who do you hate?: No Me Diga • In the Heights

Who do you love?: I Started a Joke • Bee Gees

Who do you lust after?: What Do You Want? • The Yardbirds Finish the Sentence I wish: Rainy Day Women #12 and 35 • Bob Dylan I want to: We’re on the Road Again • Ringo Starr I want to kill:. Money • The Beatles I want to eat: Spring Musical Medley • HSM3 yall with Kryan duet to open My head: Sometimes I’ll Be There • Naked Brothers Band (accurate) I am: Movin On • Rascal Flatts My best feature is: The Sad Bells of Rhymney • Fifth Avenue My eyes are: Safest Place to Hide • Backstreet Boys My hair is: Who Can See It • George Harrison My face is: Baby Come on Home • Led Zeppelin You should: Not This Time • 3Lw

Random Words of advice: And Here We Are Again • The Beatles  How do others see me?: Rhythm of Love • Plain White T’s How do I see myself?: Knowing Me, Knowing You • ABBA *** For this first section, put down the first ten songs that play, and then rate them on a scale of 1 - 5 (5 being the best) in the next column. 1. I Have a Dream •  Abba 2/5 2. Sounds of Silence • Simon and Garfunkel 5/5 3. In The Flesh • Pink Floyd 4/5  4. Ya-Ya •  John Lennon (ft. Julian on drums) 4/5  5. Magic Bus • The Who Live at the Isle of Wright 4/5 6. Stomp • Steps 2/5 7. KICK DA DUST UP • Luke Bryan 4/5 8. Your Mother Should Know • The Beatles 5/5 9. Photograph • Ringo (2017) 3/5 he sounds great but it isn’t exciting also who’s the chick I didnt sign up for this 10. Piggies • The Beatles 5/5 good one George Now for a little fortune telling… 1. Who am I?: Tug of War • Paul McCartney 2. Why am I here?: Bet On It • Zac Efron (skittles and steak) 3. What’s my theme song?: American Beauty/American Psycho • Fall Out Boy 4. How’s tomorrow gonna be?: Behind Blue Eyes • The Who 5. What does ______ really think of me?: Let’s Go to Vegas • Faith Hill 6. What’s this school year going to be about?: Man on Fire • Andy Gibb 7. Is something bad going to happen in the near future?: Little Bitty • Alan Jackson 8. What’s the government going to do next?: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band/The End • Paul McCartney Live at Citi Field 9. What’s my best friend doing right now?: Inutil • Carlos Gomez 10. What does my iPod/MP3 think about me?: American Girl • Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Last section! These next questions are all about music 1. I absolutely LOVE this song!: The Look of Love • ABC Comments: This was in Start the Commotion and there was a clip art of eyes as the O’s in look 2. I have no clue why this song is still on my music player: Steppin’ Out • John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers Comments: It’s saved because I occasionally really try to get into Clapton 3. This song has AMAZING lyrics: Love Will Find a Way • Pablo Cruise Comments: I remembered his initials but not his name

4. The band that does this song is one of my favorites: Most Peculiar Man • Simon and Garfunkel Comments: I would not say favorites but I give them their due 5. My dad loves this song: Songs About Rain • Gary Allan Comments: he bought the CD and took it on road trips so probs 6. My mom can’t stand this song: The Hook (All My Love) • Led Zeppelin Comments: she probably can stand it more than me 7. I have a sibling who enjoys listening to songs by this band: When You See a Chance • Steve Winwood Comments: fair to say that cause once she asked me what the name of Valerie was 8. One of my best friends hates the band that does this song: Like Nobody’s Around • Big Time Rush Comments: NO FRIEND OF MINE! 9. I got this song off a mix CD: Got My Mind Set On You • George Harrison Comments: I learned how to do the mashed potato to this song 10. This song is on a movie soundtrack: The Freedom Song • Jason Mraz Comments: could definitely be but don’t hold this one down

11. Share a memory involving this song in comments: Friday On My Mind • The Easybeats Comments: running to it - how was there this much good music at one time 12. I’ve played this song on repeat before: You’re My Number One • S Club 7 Comments: Try this ALBUM back when we used to play S Club and have choreography 13. This song is on the band’s Greatest Hit’s CD: Ramblin’ Man • Allman Brothers Band Comments: if it isn’t they screwed up 14. I love dancing to this song!: If You Wanna Do a Dance • The Spinners Comments: seems like that was the idea 15. This song gets me every time I hear it: Bathroom Sound (Out on the Tiles early take) • Led Zeppelin Comments: I prefer the final version with vocals and silly quips but this version does just as well for Bonzo Appreciation Time 16. This song is great to listen to when you’re angry: Farmer Refuted (Instrumental) • Hamilton  Comments: OH MY GOD tear this dude apart 17. I love the music video for this song: I’m Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band) • Moody Blues Comments: if there is one it’s probably psychedelic so I’d dig it I bet 18. I’ve seen the band that performs this song live: The Boxer • Simon and Garfunkel Comments: I have not.  This song is beautiful.  19. Is this song better to listen to at night, in the morning, or in the afternoon?: Let’s Get Rocked • Def Leppard Comments: morning, running. 20. I haven’t listened to this song in so long!: That’s the Way (Live Paris 1971) • Led Zeppelin Comments: not true it came on on the way to the gym barely a few weeks ago *** What were the first words to Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?: What ya gonna do when it’s cold outside? (Keep It Hid • Robert Plant) What did Martin Luther King have a dream about, anyways?: You’ve got a cute way of talking, you got the better of me! (You Make Me Feel Like Dancin’ • Leo Sayer)  Tomorrow’s newspapers will all have the major headline of: Out in the Rain Looking for Sunshine (Permanent Stain • Backstreet Boys) If someone offered you some free drugs, how would you respond?: Lord almighty, feel my temperature risin’...(Burning Love • Elvis) What kind of higher power do you believe in?: You need coolin, baby I’ ain’t foolin (Whole Lotta Love • Led Zeppelin) What do people really notice about you?: There’s a girl I know who makes me feel so good (Valleri • The Monkees) What do you notice first in the preferred sex of your choice?: Hey fellas, have ya heard the news you know that Annie’s back in town (Heartbreaker • Led Zeppelin) What do you look for in reading books?: They say that Richard Cory owns one half of this whole town, with political connections to spread his wealth around (Richard Cory • Wings) What’s a must-have quality in a friend for you?: Meeting people along my way, seemingly I’ve known one day (Happenings Ten Years Time Ago • The Yardbirds) What scares the shit out of you?: Gat Kirwani • George Harrison (this has no words it’s just a sitar jam) How do you laugh?: Anna, you come and ask me, girl, to set you free girl? (Anna (Go To Him) • The Beatles)  Why do you do these surveys?: When the night returns just like a friend, when the evening comes to set me free  (If You Know What I Mean • Neil Diamond) Do you have anything you’d like to confess?: I can see you in the window waiting for my call (Untouchable • Big Time Rush) How do you feel about the person you cannot stand the most?: If ever you’ve got rain in your heart, someone has hurt you and torn you apart, am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me (Run To Me • Bee Gees)  The best date ever, in your book, would consist of…: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you?(Dear Theodosia • Leslie Odom Jr. & Lin-Manuel Miranda) If you sent a random Hallmark card to a friend, you would write to them: Are we growing up or just going down? It's just a matter of time until we're all found out. (Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year • Fallout Boy) If you had the chance to speak to (a) God, what would you say?: Every time I see her, she don’t even look my way (Just My Style • Gary Lewis and the Playboys) Finish the sentence: “When the going gets tough…”: My friend came to me with sadness in his eyes and told me that he wanted help before his country dies (Bangla Desh • George Harrison)  How do you deal with your stress?: I can almost remember their funny faces (Jet • Paul McCartney) What is your biggest burden in life?: Somebody’s knocking at the door, somebody’s ringing the bell (Let Em In • Wings) What’s the coolest thing about your best friend?: Hands, put your empty hands in mine (Stand By You • Rachel Platten) Why do you love the one you do?: Sweet, wonderful you.  You make me happy with the things you do (You Make Loving Fun • Fleetwood Mac) If a friend broke their arm and got a cast, what would you write on it?: Gonna build myself a castle high up in the clouds (Dance the Night Away • Cream)  You see a stick and wet cement. What do you write?:  It feels so right now hold me tight (Hold Me Tight • The Beatles) A guy just stole your (purse, car, etc)! What do you yell at him?: Welcome to the camp, I guess you all know why you’re here (We’re Not Gonna Take It • The Who) You pass a crack addict on the corner one day. Solemnly he tells you: Well now we’re respected in society, we don’t worry bout the things that we used to be, we’re talkin heroin with the president (Respectable • The Rolling Stones) What will your baby’s first words be?:  He knows about you in every way, he's memorized every part of your face (Does He Know • One Direction) You are at your wit’s end, and decide to write a suicide note. It begins: The pound is sinking, the peso’s falling, the lira’s reeling and feeling quite appalling (The Pound is Sinking • Paul McCartney) Why can’t there be peace in the world?: Let’s talk about one, bay-bay, ya gotta hear me out (Get Another Boyfriend • Backstreet Boys)

How do you think people see you?: I walked in the band just started, the singer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket (Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo • Tracy Byrd) Inside, though, what kind of person are you really?: well the rain was a-fallin’ and the ground turned to mud, I was watchin’ all the people running from the flood (Deliver Your Children • Wings) If you wanted to comfort a friend, you’d say: Anytime, any day you can hear the people say that love is blind, well I don’t know but I say love is kind (Listen to What the Man Said • Wings) When you want to cheer someone up, you say: *I just make series of nonsense sounds* (Pow R. Toc H. • Pink Floyd) You’re unbelievably depressed because your friend just told you…: people say we’ve got it made, don’t they know we’re so afraid? (Isolation • John Lennon)

When you are incredibly bored, you start thinking about…?: I drive all alone, at night, I drive all alone, don’t know what I’m headed for. (Dead End Friends • Them Crooked Vultures) You’re a classy person, so instead of cursing when you’re mad, you yell…?: I met a gin-soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis (Honky Tonk Women • The Rolling Stones)   you’re writing a love letter, but what are you going to begin it with?: The theater’s so obsessed with drama so depressed, it’s hard to sell a ticket on broadway! (Keep It Gay • The Producers)  If you were to write a letter to the President of the USA, it would say…?: It’s a boy, Mrs. Walker, it’s a boy (It’s a Boy • The Who) What would someone have to tell you to make you really angry?: No no no no, don’t phunk with mah haaahrt (Don’t Phunk with My Heart • Black-Eyed Peas) …To make you really depressed?:  Cars and girls are easy to come by in this day and age, laughing joking drinking smoking til I spend my wage (Over Under Sideways Down • The Yardbirds) ...To make you sexually aroused?: Catch a star if you can, wish for something special (Are You Ready for Love • The Spinners) Your first thoughts waking up were…: Life is just a bowl of All-Bran, you wake up every morning and it’s there (Happydaystoytown • The Small Faces)  Your last words before falling asleep will be…: the sun is shining in the sky, there ain’t a cloud in sight (Mr. Blue Sky • Electric Light Orchestra)

[drews-diary]

21.08.19

today’s diary entry is gonna be weird. also hi, its been a while. a few days ago, i learned that the fourteen year old i tutor has a boyfriend. and while that is a perfectly reasonable age to have a boyfriend i just cant get over the fact that someone born in 2007 is already capable of typing let alone dating. I remember when my friends little brother who was also born in 2007 was crawling around and cried cuz he hit his head on the table. but to be fair that didnt really bother me too much as i always felt as though i was stagnant and things around me were the ones always changing. 

But then today i was listening to taylor swift’s old albums cuz i was feeling nostalgic and i listened to fifteen from the fearless album that came out back in 2009 and i realized that she released that song when she was around twenty which means she probably wrote in when she was in her teens writing about how she knows so much more than she did back when was starting high school that she wish she could tell her younger self. and i remembered listening to that album as a child and expecting myself to feel the same by the time i became an adult. yet here i am at 21 no thoughts head empty. and i realized that even if i met 15 year old me there is next to nothing i would want to tell her because i still feel like i am more or less still the same ignorant uninformed person. the only thing i would tell her is to stop fucking around and focus on school. 

i feel like i dont have as much experience as the other people around me. I never used to care that i’ve never been romantically involved with someone, but i always thought it would happen eventually when i got to college but a three semesters have passed and i have yet to take a single class on campus. 

to be completely honest the only reason i am even fever writing this right now is because i had a ice cream blending cold brew from starbucks this evening because i had to get up excruciatingly early for class registration (which i completely failed at) and had three tutoring classes today meaning i didnt have time for my daily afternoon nap so the coffee was the only thing making sure i didnt fall asleep during my last class. I purposely dont drink coffee regularly so that i can use it like a magic potion when i need it and the caffeine hits me like a bus. it has been six hours and i am still wide-eyed i should not have gotten a grande. today was also my first time trying coldbrew so there’s that. i was kinda grateful for the effects because it made sure i was awake for today’s episode of hospital playlist but now i kinda wanna sleep since i didnt get much last night and i would like to make sure i dont miss my class tomorrow morning, i have to get up at at least ten, but here i am typing this.and i think i am just going to keep going.

my family moved recently, and for the time being my entire room is surrounded by bookshelves because my brother’s bed is too big and we cant fix any bookshelves into his room and i am only using a mattress topper thing for the next few months. this is because i finally convinced my mom to let me throw out that horrid bed with the curved head and foot board with the flower decorations that always dug into the back of my head, neck, and back when i was trying to read. so that is the situation in my room until the end of the year when hopefully my brother’s whole situation will be over and we can finally go furniture shopping and switch rooms. (we are also currently living in each other’s room because his permanent room aka my current room cannot fit his fucking gigantic boat bed. actually i really love that bed i wish he was still young enough to use it its so cute.

i find our new neighborhood unsettling. like its probably because i got so attached to our old house that we lived in for nine years but i dont know. the place we moved to is a location that i used to spend some time in when we first moved to korea but i literally havent been here in nine years as mentioned earlier, and i am slowly piecing my memories of the geography as well as blending it with the incredibly limited knowledge i have of the nearby surroundings that i built riding the bus and when i was learning to drive because the school that i went to is kind of near our new place. anyways to get back to the subject this new neighborhood is full of too many happy families with these little kids that run around with their sticky little fingers flailing around. like hello we are still in the middle of a global pandemic i swear to god parents of little kids will go loose their minds when their children get sick yet they let them just run around spreading their disgusting little disease to the rest of us. ugh i hate kids. but thats besides the point the reason i think the new neighborhood feels dystopian is because all of the families, children and the elders too (why are there so many elders like i dont hate them or anything most of them are fine but like where are they all coming from?) look so happy. where are the depressed high schoolers and burnt out college students? my brother and i dont seem to have any friends in this bitch. anyways so the sheer amount of happiness that seems to radiate around me reminds me of books and movies like the giver you know or like the uglies series where you start off in this utopian-esque world until you find out that it is actually fake. its unsettling. 

okay now i am kind of tired good night. wait also the public transportation at our new place fucking sucks i know it’s pretty good by regular standards but i am used to subway stations, convenience stores, cafes and bus stops all being 30 seconds away from the entrance of my building. okay the bus stop took more like two minutes but whatever. and buses used to come every five minutes but now i have to walk at least ten minutes to the nearest subway station and the bus stops only have three buses and even those take so fucking long to arrive and they dont even arrive when they say they will they are always late which is why i end up fucking walking twenty minutes to the subway station because that way at least i can guarantee that i am not going to be completely late. unreliable ass buses.

fuck there’s a lot i dont like about my new neighborhood. oh wait we are also far from malls now i have to walk like half an hour to get to the nearest mall when at our old house i only had to walk ten minutes and the mall close to our new house is worse than the old one. this one’s movie theatre isnt even famous. but dont get me wrong i guess there are things i like about our new place like how you can call the elevator from inside the house or how there’s a gym and the fact that i now have ac in my room. i am just being a brat because i really loved our old house. it was perfect. even if i felt as though i was being burned alive during the summers sometimes. i also like my new blinds that let in light in the shape of constellations. 

i dont currently have a desk in my room so i dont know what im going to do when school starts again in a few weeks i guess i’ll have to take my lecture on the floor or maybe on the kitchen table idk.

[katrinawritesthings]

various pairings; fic dump; pg-13

yes hello it is time for the year end lump of fics that i didnt finish or that didnt make it into fics ive already posted

two jongtaes a taekey and an onjongtae

this was gonna be that vampire au for the anon that wanted vamp taem saving human jong but then i wrote the other thing instead

Jonghyun thinks he’s fucked up.

“You’re awfully cute for a human,” the vampire purrs, one cold fingertip drawing invisible little lines where Jonghyun’s chest is exposed by his deep vneck. He watches their fangs glisten and glow in the flashing blacklight of the club. He looked down to their mouth to avoid being captured by their deep red eyes, but he thinks he’s mesmerized all the same. Shit. “It would be a shame to let a bite like you go to--”

“Back the fuck up.”

Taemin’s entrance is also the exit of the other vampire; he grabs them by the wrist and all but yanks them back and away from Jonghyun. Jonghyun blinks and shakes his head, focusing again on the new scene in front of him. Taemin is now standing between him and the other vampire, one hand reaching back for Jonghyun’s wrist and the other held out to discourage them from coming any closer again. Jonghyun knows that the little crosses on his bracelet are burning Taemin’s skin so he quickly takes his hand to hold, squeezing him once to show he’s okay. Taemin glances back at him for half a second before looking back to the other vampire. They’re smiling, lazy and smooth, maliciously innocent in the way they smooth their shirt. They’re also trying to lean around Taemin to see Jonghyun again.

“I was just playing,” they drawl. “Chill.” From what Jonghyun can see of the side of Taemin’s face, he doesn’t even twitch from his hard expression.

“Walk away,” he says quietly. The other vampire snorts, huffs, glances at Jonghyun over Taemin’s shoulder and gives him a little wink.

“Another time, babe,” they say, waving pleasantly before turning and disappearing into the dance floor. Taemin stays and watches them for a few long moments after Jonghyun has lost them, then turns to face him.

He moves his hand to Jonghyun’s waist, a heavy if cold weight that draws Jonghyun a step closer. With his other hand he pushes Jonghyun’s hair away from his face, trails his fingers down to Jonghyun’s neck. His head tilts to either side, like he’s trying to see if they bit him or not. Jonghyun lifts his hand to cover Taemin’s.

“I’m fine,” he says. “They just. Caught me off guard.” A few more seconds and he wouldn’t have been fine, but. That didn’t happen, so he doesn’t need to worry about it. Taemin stays silent, mouth a little frown as he searches Jonghyun’s face. After another moment, he steps back and tugs gently on Jonghyun’s wrist.

“Let’s get out of here,” he mumbles. Jonghyun bites his lip. They’ve only been here for a little under an hour.

uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh moving day au when jongtae were smoochin and taem had a panic attack nd i changed it in the final cut to have taem figure it out himself

With his fingers playing with the hem of Taemin’s shirt, Taemin’s breathing quickens, his hips press minutely closer, his arms wrap fully around Jonghyun’s waist–and then he wrenches himself away, pulling their lips apart and turning his head to the side. Jonghyun sways, accidentally leaning too far forward now that there’s nothing holding him back, and opens his eyes, disoriented. Blinking the room blearily back into focus, he pouts at the loss of their kissing.

Taemin is leaning heavily on one hand, head down, eyes squeezed shut tight. His breaths are heavy and when he swallows it’s a struggle; Jonghyun immediately recognizes it as another panic attack instead of just being flustered and breathless. He shifts his hips back but leans forward, resting his weight on one hand on the mattress and running the fingers of his other gently through Taemin’s hair.

“Shhh,” he whispers. “It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe.” He presses his lips gently to Taemin’s temple through his guilt, nuzzling him and holding him close. He shouldn’t have pushed it that far. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. You’re okay. We can–”

“No, that’s not–” Taemin tugs Jonghyun even closer with the arm around his waist. He turns, not to face Jonghyun, but to bury his face in his chest, nuzzled up against his left boob. Jonghyun bites his lip as Taemin shakes against him. If it wasn’t him then he has no idea what it was. He hates these rare times where he doesn’t know what’s triggering Taemin’s anxiety. He does what he can do, which is pet his hair gently and make quiet, soothing noises until he’s ready to talk. Taemin holds him close, hands twisted in the back of his shirt and breaths hot against the front, for several long minutes.

“Tell--tell me,” he stammers eventually. “Tell me that the others don’t. H-hate me.”

“Oooohhh,” Jonghyun breathes. The realization fills him up in a big breath that he lets out when he tightens his arms around Taemin’s shoulders. “Taemin, of course they don’t hate you,” he says, the words coming out clearly but gently, the soothing tone that he’s perfected just for this. “You’re good,” he whispers. “Good and sweet. You’re not wasting their time. They wouldn’t be here if they didn’t want to help you. You’re good, you’re good, you’re good.”

“Nnngh,” Taemin groans. “They’ve. At first, but--I’ve--like an asshole, and--”

“Taemin.” Jonghyun pushes Taemin back gently, just far enough that he’s able to tilt his chin up and press soft, quick kisses to his lips. “You have not been acting like an asshole,” he says clearly. Taemin’s lips are shaky, slow, barely responsive but he still holds Jonghyun close and accepts the kisses. “You’re stressed,” Jonghyun tells him quietly. “You’re scared. You’re anxious. You’re tired.” He punctuates each little reassurance with a little kiss, spacing out Taemin’s breaths for him. “No one expected you to be all smiles and sunshine,” he says.

“And you deserve this little break in here,” he adds. “Cleanup is done. Packing is done. The video is done. All that’s left is for Minho to finish editing it, which they need to do alone. You’re good. You’re good, you’re wonderful.”

“Gwi loves any time that she gets to be with you and that she’s finally helping you leave,” he continues. “Minjunggie thinks you’re adorable and brave.” Jonghyun knows. They told him earlier when they were editing the video together.

stuff from a couple of kids??? that didnt work lmao

“Hey, um,” Kibum says after a minute. Taemin blinks slowly away from the doodle someone from another class drew on his desk and looks at his friend instead. Kibum is sliding his thick blue ring and and down his thumb in the same way he does before a big test. He notices Taemin looking and stops, fixing it back on his knuckle and pulling his bag forward instead. Taemin hums in question as Kibum rummages through his stuff for nothing.

“Do you wanna,” he says slowly. “Go shopping with me? On Sunday?” He lowers his voice a little like they’re not already talking quietly in the back of the classroom. Taemin tilts his head, confused.

“I thought we were already going to the mall with everyone on Saturday?” he asks. Kibum shakes his head, fingers playing subconsciously with his ring again.

“Not… at the mall,” he mumbles. Taemin thinks for just a second before it clicks.

“Oh,” he says. Not the mall. “Yeah. Sure.”

“I don’t wanna go alone,” Kibum says quickly, quietly, his cheeks going a little pink under his makeup. “But I can’t… you don’t mind?”

“No, yeah, it’s okay,” Taemin says. He gets it; he gets that he’s the only one that knows. He’ll go with Kibum to the store. He can get some of the cookies his dad always pretends like they don’t have for himself while Kibum gets whatever he needs.

“Alright, cool.” Kibum nods with a chill smile like they’d just agreed to go out for coffee. Taemin watches him scribble their plan down in his book. He probably could convince Kibum to get lunch at the little café across from the store. He’ll buy.

~

“We’re gonna have to do all of this again in like, a month,” Taemin mumbles after a minute. Kibum’s chest rises and falls in a slow sigh.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “But at least I’ll be at Jinki’s for the whole summer before his parents get back.” His voice is wistful, longing, tired, and relieved to have a steady home for such a long time. Taemin nuzzles his shirt in agreement. He knows that Kibum is still super anxious and guilty and fucked up about everything, but he’s letting his friends help. He’s accepting that his friends care about him and want to know about what he’s going through so they can make it easier on him, and he’s accepting that he deserves that slack.

“Is Jonghyun still trying to tell you that his mom will be your mom now?” Taemin asks, grinning when Kibum snorts and breathes little laughs into his hand.

“Yeah,” Kibum grins. “And I believe him, like, his mom is the best person I’ve ever met, but…. I don’t know, like. I’ll be eighteen like, two weeks into the school year. That’s close enough. And I might not even have to be eighteen to enroll myself, actually, I’ve been doing more research….” He trails off with a mumble, a troubled sigh. “Anyway,” he continues, “I’m kind of swearing off parents in general for now.” He shrugs the shoulder that isn’t under Taemin’s head. Taemin hums back in agreement. He knows.

Despite all of their better judgements, they’re not exactly telling any real adults about this. Sure, Jonghyun and Jinki are technically legal adults, but they’re not gonna suddenly know how to take care of everything once they graduate next month. They’re figuring this out on their own, for Kibum’s safety and comfort mostly. If Taemin has learned anything over the passed few months, it’s that one person can be extremely capable of living by themself. If Kibum can do it on his own, then the five of them can definitely do this together.

this was at the end of that onjongtae au where jongyu both wanted the other to be daddy so then they made taem daddy instead but then i didnt feel like putting it in

“On a scale of one to ten,” Taemin mumbles, pausing to press a quick kiss to both of their temples. “How sexy are we feeling?”

“Mmm, six, I guess,” Jinki hums. He’s not really looking for it, but he won’t say no if the pampering Taemin wants to give him comes in the form of a blowjob.

“Like, twenty,” Jonghyun says confidently. Jinki muffles a snort into Taemin’s shoulder. Holy shit. He lifts his head enough to catch the fond little kiss Taemin presses to Jonghyun’s mouth.

“Alright, well,” Taemin says. He pulls himself away from them and pats both of their butts. “You two honeys let me get ready and then we’ll eat breakfast.” He tugs his towel off of his shoulders and lumps it on top of his head to rub the last of the wetness out of his hair. “Crepes,” he says, giving Jinki a little hip bump on his way to the mirror. Jinki smiles wide and bubbly and bounces on his toes. Nice. His favorite. “And then I’ll eat you,” Taemin adds, throwing Jonghyun a little grin over his shoulder. Jonghyun flutters happily and reaches to stop Taemin from buttoning up his shirt.

“Both holes?” he asks, pressing up against Taemin’s back with a definite dip in his voice. Jinki snorts. Thirsty. Taemin rolls his eyes.

“You know I’m not good at dirty talk when I’m hungry,” he chides. Jonghyun pouts.

“Sorry, daddy,” he says quietly. Taemin ruffles his hair fondly and pushes him gently towards Jinki.

“Go start breakfast,” he tells them. “I’ll be out in a few.” He shoos them away with a little flap of his hand and a playful smile. Jinki nods easily and takes Jonghyun’s wrist, pulling him out of the room.

“Does he ever just pick one hole?” he asks conversationally as they bounce through the hallway. Taemin could spend hours down there with his head between their legs. Jinki can’t imagine that he wouldn’t switch back and forth every now and again. Jonghyun snorts, shakes his head.

“I just like to hear him say it,” he grins. Jinki rolls his eyes, but has to admit that he’s the same. He is going to spend the whole day fishing for compliments and praise and love every second of Taemin indulging him in it.