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lincolndjarin · 11 months ago

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Every Now and Then - ch. one

[ I Dream of Something Wild ]

pairing : joel miller x f!reader, platonicsoulmate!tommy & f!reader

word count : 6.4k

summary : Joel Miller destroyed you. He loved you, then he left, leaving you in the New York City, QZ. But he's a good southern gentleman, so of course he didn't leave you without a reminder of the time you spent together. Four years later you're living in Jackson, in a lovely little ranch house. (With your reminder.) The last person you want to see is Joel Miller, unfortunately you've never been particularly lucky.

tags/warnings : 18+ mdni, angst, canon typical violence, injury, language, manipulation, joel takes advantage of readers situation, eventual smut, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader, she is picked up by joel at one point but i'm a firm believer that he's strong enough to lift any one who may find themselves in the pov of our reader, joel is possessive and controlling, dark!joel miller in a sense?? like he's not really dark now but he's going to be, multiple time lines, not canon compliant, mentions of prostitution, i sorta made up my own timeline, i probs missed tags sorry!!

a/n : i really need to fix my writing schedule so i'm hoping that having a new fic to put my energy into is going to help!! also sorry if this chapter doesn't have much going on i need to set up a lot of stuff but i promise more action in future chapters

ao3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ main masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ kofi

He crept up on you like the shadows as the sun sets in the west. An all encompassing darkness that blotted out the sun until all that was left was night. He sunk his claws into you so deep that your eyes adjusted to the dark, and you didn’t even realize how much time had passed until you shrunk away from the inevitable sunrise that made him cower away from the dawn as if he never really was big and scary.

And in the light of day you saw him for what he really was.

He was just a man, who was once a boy, who was scared of the dark.

So he made himself big, and terrifying, and he grew so accustomed to the thing he once feared that the very idea of anything else made him recoil.

You feel something akin to pity when you think of him now. That doesn’t mean you forgive him, but when you can stomach it you try to, for the sake of your peace. You’d probably be happier if you could just forgive him.

But you can’t.

So you don’t.

It’s hard when his own blood doesn’t think he’s a good man. Tommy was afraid of him. Terrified at the very thought of his big brother. You can recall several nights where you had woken up to him screaming in the sleeping bag beside you, absolutely petrified of a memory that had inevitably snuck in through the darkness. You never feared him quite like that, but seeing the effect he has on Tommy makes your stomach churn, a painful reminder of your own suffering.

Most of the time it’s easier to just not think of him at all, despite the reminders he’s branded into you forever. You ignore him when he tries to soak back into your very being, but at the end of the day he’s unavoidable. You see him in the dark brown eyes of others, hear him in Tommy’s southern drawl, taste him when you have the occasional sip of whiskey. He tries and tries relentlessly to worm his way back into you, but you never let him. You put up walls and you focus on other things, anything, that isn’t Joel Miller. And even though you can’t forget him entirely you manage to ignore the memory of the man you once loved for several years.

Until one day it’s impossible to keep the thought of him away.

Until he himself makes it impossible.

Then - NEW YORK CITY, QUARANTINE ZONE : 2019

“Stay off of it or you’re going to lose it.”

That’s what the QZ doctor had told you. A couple weeks of bed rest was the most he could offer when you came to him with your broken ankle.

A couple weeks without working is a death sentence.

If you don’t work you won’t be able to afford food. And you don’t have anybody to fall back on, no family, no friends, not even an acquaintance to borrow funds from.

Lose your leg or starve.

As appealing as it sounds, starvation isn’t an option, too painful.

So you have to work. The only issue with that is you’ve been blacklisted, the stupid doctor had you put on a no-shift list. You beg them to let you work, you’ll do anything, but they never budge.

You only have enough ration cards stocked up to make it to the end of the week so you have to consider your other options. You could sell yourself. It certainly isn’t uncommon and the money’s good but it’s too dangerous, especially if you can’t run on your leg. You’ve seen too many people get hurt in that profession to risk it. You don’t have a trade. You’re terrible at sewing, you can’t cook, there isn’t a need for much of anything else and you own nothing valuable.

So there’s only one other option for you.

You steal.

You dress inconspicuously, in your only pair of jeans and a plain shirt, both of which are getting rather tattered at this point but you have nothing else. With your jacket on you pull up your hood and you do the exact thing you aren’t supposed to do, and you walk.

The conditions in the QZ are poor enough that your limp doesn’t stand out. You walk up and down the streets all day, slow and steady, with your head down and you don’t take risks. You don’t take anything big or obvious, just little things. A single ration card peeking out of a pocket, a pocket knife off a vendor's table, stale bread, set away from the good stuff where no one is looking. And you return home each night with your pockets full and your leg aching.

By the end of your second week you’re still barely scraping by but you’re managing. What little ration cards you manage to snatch you use to buy food, but it’s still nothing compared to what you’re used to making. Your ankle feels worse by the day.

You need more.

You need to find a source of income that will let you rest or you’re going to lose your leg, which will leave you in an even worse position. It isn’t until you hear your neighbor slam his door that you come up with an idea.

Your neighbor probably has more cards than he knows what to do with, and he’s always coming and going so he probably wouldn’t even notice if you skimmed a little off the top. Nothing substantial, just enough to keep you going and give your leg time to heal.

The only problem is your neighbors reputation.

You doubt you’d have much of a chance of surviving him if you got caught. Joel Miller was a bit of an urban legend around the QZ. Of course you only knew him as your stoic neighbor, just a guy who didn’t make a lot of noise and came home at strange hours, and sometimes disappeared for days at a time.

But everyone else acted as if he was some kind of Boogey Man. You didn’t see him much in the streets but when you did children ran and people whispered, and while you had no knowledge of how he earned that reputation you knew it probably wasn’t pretty.

So you’d have to be careful.

He’s gone now, you’d heard him stopping down the hall so you decide it couldn’t hurt to take a peek, just scout out the area.

You climb out onto the fire escape, your leg aching as you do, and you use the dull little knife you’d stolen a few days ago to shimmy open his window lock. It slides open pretty easily, he’s probably rather confident that nobody would ever mess with him so he doesn’t seem to have the usual precautions taken to protect his belongings.

Lucky you.

Stepping into the room you wince as you land on your bad leg, stumbling onto the floor, knocking a board loose in the process.

“Shit.” You groan, sitting up quickly, trying to put everything back in its proper place when you catch a glimmer of something under the floor.

A revolver.

You shouldn’t be here. Joel Miller is a dangerous man, you knew that but you did this anyway, you can’t help but feel incredibly stupid as you stare at the weapon. You feel so stupid that you don’t even hear the click of a lock. You don’t even bother with the ration cards you can see peeking out from under the gun, you just want to leave and forget that you ever thought this was a good idea. It’s a struggle, getting back to your feet, your leg is throbbing, begging for a rest you can’t afford to take right now. With a groan you push the window open, eager for this silly idea to be over you try to figure out the best way to go about this. You’re starting to lose feeling in your leg, should you go bad leg first or try to balance on it while shimmying the rest of your body out the window?

You never get to decide what the best course of action is because your head is slammed against the wall, your knees crumple underneath you as you hit the floor, the room spinning as your leg bends at an angle that makes you shriek. You slap your hand over your mouth but it’s far too late for that. He’s been here the whole time. It’s dark but you can still make out the foreboding shape of his figure. The broad shouldered beast that’s glaring down at you, his boot nudging your chin roughly as you bite back a shriek of fear.

“I could report you to FEDRA for this.” The gruff voice whispers into the darkness.

You’re desperate to avoid lockup, you know you’ll die in there, or worse. Although you’re not entirely sure what’s going to happen to you either way.

“I- I’ll tell them about your contraband.” You point frantically at the loose floor board. “They’ll lock you up too.” His glare is unwavering as he stares down at you. You’re a little worried that he might just kill you himself, there would be no consequences, no one would be looking for you.

No one would look for you.

The thought makes you shudder and even though you try to stop yourself you feel your eyes beginning to water. You hear footsteps, watching his outline move across the room before you’re shrinking away from the light of a dim lamp in the corner.

“You gotta be real dumb to find yourself in this situation.” He mutters, turning back around to stare at you. His gaze makes you want to cover yourself up, it’s like he can see every single part of you within that icy glare. You’ve never taken the time to really, truly look at him before but you do now, after all this might be your last chance to look at anything at all.

He isn’t a terrible last sight.

Sure, he’s ominous enough to make you want to try and run despite the ache in your calf right now, but that doesn’t make him any less handsome. In a rugged, weathered sort of way. He’s older than you thought, gray sprinkled throughout the mess of curls framing his face. What a nice face it is. Soft where it needs to be soft, sharp where it needs to be sharp. He marches back over to you, easily taking the pocket knife from your hand and crouching down in front of you.

“Give me one good reason not to finish you off right now.” He points the blade in the direction of your leg. “Seems like it’d be a mercy at this point.”

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe it would be a mercy to just let him put you out of your misery. Why have you been fighting so hard? You can’t seem to recall a reason other than the fact that that’s what you’re supposed to do. Your mind tells you that you’re supposed to keep fighting but you can’t think of a single driving force. You’re in pain, constantly, you live in a world that wants you dead, and you have no one relying on you.

You don’t have a good reason, other than the fact that surviving is all you know how to do. So you look up at him and you nod. Taking in the sight of the pretty, frightening man one last time before closing your eyes.

It feels good. You feel good, for the first time in a long time, knowing that you won’t hurt anymore. You won’t have to be afraid of someone kicking your door in, you won’t have to worry about where your next meal is going to come from, and you won’t have to worry about turning into a monster. It’s a mercy.

So you close your eyes.

Suddenly grateful for the killer before you, your guardian angel, here to deliver you the peace you didn’t know you needed.

You wait patiently for the sting of a blade or the embrace of his hands around your throat but all you're met with is a sigh. When you finally find the courage to open your eyes he’s sitting on the edge of the bed across from you, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Just go.” He grumbles, muttering a few other words you don’t catch.

You’re almost disappointed, having accepted this was the end, and now you’re being shoved back into the cold and unforgiving world. You start to get to your feet but your knees buckle under you. You try again, willing your leg to just work but much to your dismay you can’t even straighten out your leg anymore. When you try to move it all you find yourself only able to bend your knee a few inches.

Shit.

You think of the fall you took on the way in and wonder if you finally pushed yourself to the limit. If you go back to the doctor will he remove the entire thing? Maybe you should just ask Joel to finish the job before it comes to that. It would be a kindness, between a quick death here or a slow death starving in your apartment you’ll take the quick way every time. Before you even have a chance to ask he’s on his feet. Maybe his patience has run out and you won’t have to ask at all.

“Let me.” His voice rattles around in your head, so low and commanding that you put up no resistance as he lifts you up under your arms and sets you down on the edge of the bed where he just was. He flips the knife out, going to cut your jeans off of you but you stop him.

“Wait!” He freezes in place, giving you an impatient look. “These are my only jeans, just- just pull them down.” Before you can realize how embarrassing it might be to show your neighbor your faded pink panties, you're already unbuttoning your pants, lifting your hips up so he can pull them down your legs with a roll of his eyes. It’s painful, the feeling of the denim running against your skin but it’s better than not having any pants at all.

Fuck.

It’s been a while since you’ve actually looked at your leg. You’re surprised he was able to get your jeans off with how swollen it is, the flesh bulging around your ankle and now up your calf. The skin is shiny and blotchy with shades of purple and red. The sight of it makes you want to hurl but you manage to swallow the urge, looking away as he pokes at the tender flesh.

“Christ girl, what the hell did you do?” When he grabs your ankle to lift your leg you yelp in pain, making him set your leg back down instinctively.

“I just- it’s just a broken ankle.” You mumble as he gives you an incredulous look.

“Like hell it is.” Something about the sternness of his voice demands your obedience as you nod. “Wanna tell me what really happened?”

“Well I- I fell and-” You struggle to find an excuse to justify how bad you let this get but you come up empty. So you tell the truth. “I fell off a ladder while painting over graffiti during my shift and broke my ankle. The doctor told me to stay off of it and- well, I couldn’t afford not to work so I just… didn’t” You rush through your words, staring anywhere else but into his demanding gaze as you explain yourself.

“So you turned to stealin’.” He says it like the fact it is and you can only bring yourself to nod. “You need antibiotics.” He says just as matter of factly. “You know how much that sort of thing costs?”

A lot.

More than you’d have even if you were working overtime.

He clears his throat and you finally meet his eyes.

His eyes were so dark that day they threatened to swallow you whole. Were they always that dark? Or was it just that day, the first day, when he realized that he had you.

“Look, I don’t do this kinda thing for just anybody. But I can help you.” He had sounded so kind, his hint of a smile had seemed so promising.

“I can’t afford it-”

“You can use alternative methods to pay me back.”

You told him you’d think about it.

And he hadn’t pushed you, he had simply helped you back into your jeans and carried you back to your apartment. He told you he’d check on you tomorrow and see if you had an answer for him.

So when the next day came and you had a fever and your leg was throbbing, demanding your attention you’d been all too eager to accept his help.

And just like that, it was your idea.

It wasn’t his, he was blameless, you asked him to help you. And it didn’t matter who had suggested it first, it mattered who brought it up after.

You had been certain that when he had told you you’d be using alternative methods to pay him back that his intentions were unsavory. And at that point you didn’t really care, you’d made your peace with that. The medicine you needed wasn’t cheap and you could find worse looking men who didn’t take care of themselves the way Joel did.

But he wanted nothing of the sort.

Southern Manners.

All he wanted was for you to take care of his apartment when he was out with his business partner, a woman who didn’t seem to dislike you but certainly didn’t care for you. He told you to take a week to just rest, take the medicine he brought you, eat the food that he fed you, and be good. So you did as he asked. And after a week you could move a bit more, you started spending your days at Joel’s tidying up and organizing while he was gone, it was much easier to stay off your leg for most of the day and he always made sure there was food and books for you while he was gone. And when he returned he would help you hobble back to your place and help you into bed without complaint and with a promise that he’d be back in the morning.

But you still don’t relax around him.

It doesn’t make sense. Even someone who wasn’t known for their cruelty wouldn’t just take a stranger in. You’d like to believe that there’s good in people but you know better than to have that kind of faith. There isn’t enough left of the world to share the remains. Yet Joel does. He doesn’t ask to know you better and he certainly doesn’t tell you about himself yet he shows you more kindness than anyone else in your life has before.

He must like having someone to take care of.

That’s how you explain it to yourself.

You watch him with Tess and it’s clear who’s in charge there, she barely even lets him stitch her up when she returns to the apartment. Joel gets frustrated every time, huffing and pacing around the room before finding some way to tend to you in her place. Icing your leg, or bringing you a new book to read, or feeding you.

It took a few months for your leg to heal, it had been in such bad shape a part of you worried that it might never be the same as it once was.

After the first month of your arrangement Joel told you his knees hurt and he wouldn’t be able to carry you home, you offered to just walk yourself over, your leg didn’t hurt that bad anymore and you were more than capable of walking short distances. But he insisted you stay, told you you could sleep in the bed and he’d take the couch.

But his knees hurt, you couldn’t let him do that.

And you told him you’d take the couch and he told you he wouldn’t feel right making you sleep on the couch with your leg the way it was.

So you told him you’d both just sleep in the bed. It wasn’t a big deal. You trusted him, of course you did, he had an opportunity to exploit you and he didn’t, if he was going to hurt you he would have done it already.

He had acted unsure.

You know now that it was acting.

So you had insisted. You told him it was okay, you told him you felt safe with him.

It was your idea.

Even though it hadn’t been your idea to stay that night.

You had insisted he get in the bed with you.

A fact that he would bring up often in the months to come.

He would still help you to your apartment some nights, but just as often he’d complain about his knees and you’d stay. You got used to his warmth, you got used to waking up in his arms and not talking about it in the morning.

So it made sense when he told you that you should keep your pajamas at his apartment.

It made sense when he got a toothbrush for you to keep in his bathroom cabinet.

It made sense when he told you that he couldn’t find new clothes in your size and you could just wear his.

It made sense when he told you that he and Tess had never been a thing, so you had no reason to feel weird about sleeping in his bed.

And it made sense when he told you that he’d hold onto the keys to your apartment, afterall you wouldn’t want to lose them.

Joel Miller was a glue trap. And you had waded across his sticky surface without a care in the world, never realizing that it was getting harder and harder to move until you were standing still. Until the only way you were going to escape was by biting off your own leg.

You don’t remember when you stopped returning to your own apartment completely, but you know that it happened early on, before you’d even started chewing.

Now - JACKSON, WYOMING : 2023

“Ruth?” You’re gonna be late if you don’t find her soon. The turntable in the corner of the kitchen plays a 3 Doors Down song as you lift the table cloth, searching for the little girl. “We don’t have time to play, we need to get you to school.” You groan, turning to face the boy currently sitting in a highchair he’s just about grown out of. “Do you know where she is?” You cross your arms in front of your chest, glaring at him as he shrugs.

Of course he isn’t going to tell. They look out for each other before anyone else, a fact that normally fills you with joy but not when they’re ganging up against you. Thankfully you catch his eye as he shoots a glance at the pantry. Pulling the door open you’re quickly met with the sight of Ruth, giggling on the floor. You pick her up, putting her in her own highchair before setting a plate of fruits down in front of her.

“Eat. We don’t have time to play this morning, young lady.” You poke your fork in her direction as you sit down across from them.

“Eat.” She repeats in a mocking tone, her brother erupting into a fit of giggles at the impression as you sigh. They need to be at the community center in half an hour. You make the job schedules on Friday and you need as much time as possible if you want to finish them in one day. You’re having a hard time focusing on the mess your son is making as he smashes each blueberry down onto the table before popping them into his mouth as you try to schedule your own weekend.

You need to finish all of your work today while the kids are gone so you don’t have to juggle watching them and working later, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue, scheduling should only take a few hours if you really zero in on it. You have dinner with Tommy and Maria tomorrow and you promised to bring dessert so you’ll have to take the kids to the market tonight, which also means you’re going to have to find supplies to barter with before you go.

You have nothing planned on Sunday.

You’ll have to change that.

You hate having nothing to do.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts as a blueberry hits you in the forehead. Both twins laugh now as you frown at them.

“Behave or I’ll tell your aunt that you’ve been bad.” Both children look at each other nervously before returning to their breakfast. You were never stern enough with them. You loved them too much, you couldn’t ever bring yourself to yell at them, and it wasn’t like they were troublemakers by any means, they were just kids with a lot of energy in the mornings. And when they did misbehave a small threat of telling Maria was enough to make them stop whatever it was they were doing.

You finish up your own plate and start getting ready to leave as the kids start giggling again to themselves. When their plates are empty you use a wet washcloth to clean their hands and faces before lifting each of them out of their respective seats, letting them run off a bit more energy before you head out. You set all three bags down in front of the door. Yours being the beige over the shoulder bag accompanied by two little backpacks. Ruth’s green canvas bag is covered in mud and other remnants of the yard that she’s brought in with her but Arthur’s purple backpack is kept neat and tidy. You slip into your coat before turning just in time to watch your son dive into the couch, quickly followed by his sister.

“Come on little ducks. Time for school.” You take their jackets off the hook, holding them out to them as they rush over to you, tugging their own coats on before grabbing their bags, once you pull the door open they both rush out into the cool autumn morning, talking to each other in hushed tones. Always secrets with those two. It would probably make you a little worried if these were normal circumstances, the way they don’t let anyone in except each other, with you being the only exception. But the world is a terrifying place, it brings you peace to know that they have each other.

A part of you is certain you wouldn’t have been able to handle just one.

One little person relying on you, all while you’re doing your best to hold it all together? It sounds like a nightmare. It’s better that they have each other. Once you’re standing outside the community center, busy with parents dropping off their children, you kneel down.

“Be good, if you behave today you can go to the market tonight.” The promise of the market has both of them grinning, showing off the teeth they’ve both recently had grow in. “I love you, I’ll see you in a bit.” You hold open your arms, each of them taking their respective sides as they wrap themselves around you. You take your daughter's face in your hands before pressing a kiss to her forehead, repeating the motion with your son. After a few “love you mama’s” they both run into the building, once you’re sure they’re safe inside you head off in the direction of town hall.

You have what you would call the best job in town, despite the fact that no one else seems to want to do it.

Maria understood when you arrived that you needed something that let you work from home if needed, you needed something that kept your mind busy but also gave you time with the kids. So you took care of the parts of Jackson most didn’t think about.

You document all of the citizens, you make the shift schedules, and you make sure everyone has the necessities. You take care of housing, when big hauls from scavenging come in you divide them up among the people who need them. You make the meal schedules for the dining hall, and you make the crop schedules.

You keep Jackson moving.

When you arrived all of this was Maria’s job along with her other duties, when you told her you wanted something engaging and demanding she was more than willing to pass off those duties to you. So now you’ve got to make the schedule. Town hall is nothing more than a house with several desks for people doing work similar to yours but thankfully you’ve been lucky enough to reserve your own office in one of the bedrooms.

Most Friday's Maria visits you for lunch but you know she’s on patrol currently, another perk of this job is knowing where everyone is, all the time.

No surprises.

You hate surprises. (With a few exceptions.)

One of the exceptions is waiting for you in your office, Tommy sits with his legs up on your desk, reading over this past week's schedule.

“You put me on crop harvest way more than anyone else.” He grumbles, tossing your notebook down.

“It’s the end of the season, everyones on crop harvest.” You lean down, kissing his cheek before taking your place across from him, immediately getting to work as he groans.

“Maria gets to go on patrol.”

“Council gets first dibs on patrols during harvest season.” The tip of your favorite pen is dry so you quickly bring it to your mouth, wetting it with your tongue before you start writing out jobs for this upcoming week. The second he sees how many farming related jobs you’re listing he leans back in his chair, groaning and running his fingers through his dark curls.

Today’s his day off. You always gave anyone doing more manual labor three days off instead of two.

“I can get you on one patrol shift but they’re going to need your help with the corn.” You write his name in with the Monday and Tuesday patrol squad, filling in the rest of his week with harvest as he grins.

“Thank you, darlin’.” He drawls. You hate that nickname, you hate that he isn’t the first to give it to you but you never complain, you’d let Tommy get away with murder at this point. It’s the least you can do considering everything he’s given you.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. You’re only getting a two-day weekend next week.” You mumble, searching through the list of citizens, trying to pick out the people you know won’t mind the hard work.

“Fine by me.” You have a complicated relationship with that smile of his. You can love it all you want but that doesn’t change the fact that it makes you uneasy, it doesn’t help that you’re starting to see that same smile in your son.

“I was thinking about berry cobbler for tomorrow night.” Molly twisted her ankle last week, make sure she isn’t standing. You put her down for shucking corn, she can sit in the dining hall and work.

“We have a bunch of extra sweet potatoes if you want to make sweet potato pie.” He takes your crop ledger, flipping through it, clearly not reading a thing.

“Ruth hates sweet potatoes.” Marcus insists he’s capable of doing manual labor, his pride won’t let him act his age. You put him down for pushing the wheelbarrows, he won’t have to bend down to pick anything up but hopefully he’ll still feel like he’s doing enough. You’ve told him countless times that at his age he shouldn’t be working so hard but he always insists.

“Shit, forgot about that. Maria might have some apples.”

“I’ll stop by tonight before I take the kids to the market.”

You’re thankful for Tommy.

He keeps your mind busy with conversation while you work, and he’s one of the only people you actually trust. By the time you’re almost done you know you need to go get the kids, with a conflicted glance at the clock you start to gather your things but Tommy beats you to it.

“I’ll go get them, Maria should be home from patrol soon, she’ll want to see them.” He’s already putting his coat on so you stay seated.

“Are you sure?” You already know there’s no reason to argue, he’s stubborn, just like his brother.

“It’s the least I can do to make up for bothering you all day.” He steps around the desk to give you a peck on the cheek before going to leave. “Just come by the house when you’re done, no rush.” And just like that he’s gone.

You make quick work of your remaining duties. Finishing everything within a half an hour before heading out in the direction of the Miller’s farm house on the edge of town. It’s only a few houses away from your ranch house, a fact that you couldn’t be more grateful for, if it weren’t for Tommy and Maria you aren’t sure you’d have been able to handle those first few months of parenthood. Most people in town assumed Tommy must be the father purely based on how much effort he put into taking care of not only them, but you as well. As you make your way up their porch steps and into the living room you’re also reminded of the similarities. You can’t blame people for making assumptions, even Maria thought he was the father. The twins have his eyes, (which by association means that they also have his eyes, but you try not to dwell on that.) Ruth has your nose but Arthur has that Miller curve already starting to show on his little nose. Both little ones are sitting in the big recliner with their uncle as he tries to get them to settle down while he reads to them but the second they see you, both are scrambling out of the chair to hug your legs.

And everything goes exactly how it’s supposed to.

(Of course it does, you plan every day down to the minute.)

You give Tommy the list of things you need along with a few things he can trade them for and he takes the kids down the street to the market as you sit at the kitchen counter, talking to Maria about her patrol. You had all planned to go to the market together but she’d insisted she was tired and you didn’t want her to be here alone so you stayed, helping her cook dinner. And you talked about all the things you knew you would, something cute the kids did, how her patrol went, what things you could put on the dining hall menu in the coming weeks.

It’s all exactly how it should be.

Until she frowns.

“Are you busy Sunday?” You had sensed something was wrong with her but you assumed maybe she was just a little rattled coming off of a three day patrol.

“No, did you need something?” You continue to chop up the sweet potatoes she now planned to use tonight instead of tomorrow.

“We found a couple of strays, I thought maybe we could get them settled in.”

Odd.

Normally finding survivors would be the first thing she mentioned after returning, even stranger is the fact that she’d often waste no time getting them supplies and a home to make their own. But you're not one to question Maria’s judgment.

“Sure, we can do that Sunday morning.” You want to ask questions about it but she’s already changed the subject to doing a clothing drive at the community center so you don’t press. Despite the way the look on her face is bothering you.

It wasn’t fear, or discomfort, or something you could explain away with the excuse of the strays being off putting or violent.

It’s a look of pity.

As if she feels bad for even asking.

It unsettles you enough to leave it be. Making idle chit chat with her until Tommy returns with the twins and you take them home. It unsettles you as you make your own dinner, as you give the twins a bath, and as you help them into their pajamas and read them a story. It never leaves your mind.

“Goodnight Ruthie.” You lean down to kiss her forehead, watching her eyes flutter shut as she continues to fight sleep. Always the stubborn one.

“Night Mama.” You take the stuffed bear from the foot of her bed, tucking it in beside her before quietly standing, walking across the room to your son's bed.

“Goodnight Arthur.” You lean down, kissing both of his rosy cheeks, he doesn’t fight sleep the way his sister does. So similar but so different.

“Goodnight Mama.” His little voice has the same southern drawl you know he’s been picking up from Tommy.

“I love you, little ducks.” You smile at him, turning to see that Ruth is already asleep, you tuck in the blankets around Arthur before leaving, keeping the door cracked open a bit so the light from the kitchen can act as a night light.

God, you're tired.

You’re quick to shower and slip into your own pajamas, crawling into bed with a yawn. You take the book from your nightstand, flipping through until you find where you left off yesterday.

You never really know what’s going on in the books you read, they serve a singular purpose and it isn’t entertainment.

You read until you fall asleep, they’re just a distraction to keep your mind busy with thoughts so he can’t sneak in right before you fall asleep and embed himself in your dreams.

It works.

Your dreams never feature him.

They aren’t good dreams by any means, they’re wild. Often of your journey to Jackson, the fear you felt then. But you’ll take that over Joel any day. Tonight isn’t any different, your sleep is restless as you fight the memories of fighting for survival in those woods, but instead of your usual nightmares of infected hunting you through the trees you’re faced with a sight that somehow makes you even more uneasy than the living dead.

The look on Maria’s face when she told you about the two strays.

support me on kofi!!

a/n : this fic has been bouncing around in my brain for months now and it feels so fucking good to finally start it omfg. sorry if this felt a little slow, i really needed to set a tone and a base for the story, sorry!!

#lincolndjarin #fic : every now and then #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #tlou joel #joel tlou #joel the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #tlou fic #joel x reader #the last of us fic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction

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the-nami07 · 5 months ago

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hiii!! i love ur bf!percy hcs so much,, i was wondering if u could do one for leo ?? take ur time and its totally up 2 u😋 have a good day/night‼️🙂‍↕️

Ofc I can! Thank you for requesting!!

Dating Leo headcanons pt 1/?

I feel like y’all would be friends to lovers

You met him when you went to the forge to get a new sword

His eyes seemed to light up when he saw you

In a “This is my new bestie” kinda way

Denial faze

He realizes her loves you but he doesn't want to ruin the friendship

So he just denies the feelings

When he finally comes to his senses he confesses at Bunker 9

You came in to hang, but he spilled his guts

After a good convo, y’all are finally together!

[took long enough]

Anyways

He makes you metal flowers

Says he will stop loving you when the flowers wilt

which they're metal, they never will

He’s an amazing cook

Like AMAZING

Makes your fav foods all the time

If you have traditional foods from your culture he learns how to make them for you.

I have a feeling he has an “I ❤️my gf/bf/partner” shirt

He probs have a few

Def has a bulletin board of pics

Most are of you, but some are of him + the 7

He has it right in front of his work table so he can always look at them

Loves hugs

I mean he LOVES them

Will definitely melt if you hug him from behind while he’s cooking

Poor baby is touch-starved pls give him hugs

He hugs you all the time

Just to feel you and know you’re here

He also loves kissing you

His fav place to put his hands is your face

Just holding your face while he kisses you

Pet names in Spanish <3

“Amor”, “querido/a”, “cariño”

Brags about you

As he should you’re amazing!

He could be in a convo about playing the harmonica and he’d be like

“Yeah, my bf/gf/partner could learn this in an hour, they’re that awesome. Did I tell you that they *insert great feat here*? Yeah, they’re the best.”

You’re his biggest priority

Anything you need he will drop what he’s doing and help

Even if it’s smth silly like finding a rock to paint like a pizza

[idfk it’s late lol]

100% plays with your fingers

Cuddling during the winter is amazing

I mean he’s basically a human heater

But summer

I can just picture this

Him on his knees begging to cuddle you

And you’re just like “No you’re a heater. Find a way to turn the heat off then sure.”

You cave though and y’all cuddle

Just with no blankets

He teaches you Morse code

Y’all have secret convos in Morse code

He’s always saying “I love you.” in Morse code

And the first time you tap it back he almost cries

He is just overwhelmed that someone loves him

I mean he lost his mom, his dad is a god and we all know how that goes

Also i refuse to ship Caleo, so she’s out of the picture

He just loves you so much

That’s all for now, lmk if you want a pt 2! Also thanks again for the request! - Nami <3

#pjo #pjo headcanon #pjo x reader #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez headcanons #pjo hoo

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sleeplesswixard · 1 month ago

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Aristotle x masc!Reader (romantic)

Type: Headcanons, romantic, masculine/masc alligned/nonfem reader

Warnings: None!

Note: İ was going to add some Arthur angst in here as well but it was too serious for me, sooo... Yeah.

Song: Sweet tooth - Cavetown

"Oh, no no no. İt's far too... Far."

——————————————————————

He's very affectionate!

They're sickeningly sweet and affectionate to you BOTH indoors and outdoors as well and they're not afraid to show it.

They gives great hugs, sometimes accidently squeezes you a bit hard tho.

Assuming he sometimes stays awake at night for working even though they don't usually overwork, you manage to get him back to bed tho.

He's ticklish, especially from.b his scales and waist, the second you touch them here they just go like "ÄÄH-"

Even one day your hand accidently brushed against to his tail and they immediately jolted away.

FOREHEAD KİSSES. THEY 👏 LOVES 👏 FOREHEAD 👏 KİSSES.

He loves theemmmmmm

They wake up earlier than you

They loves to prepare breakfast for you while you're sleeping <3

They loves jazz as well, they're a good dancer. He'll encourage you to join them if you're embarrassed, they won't force you to it tho.

You prob have something similiar to Billie's bell, like a necklace, a choker or something that they can communicate with you with magic.

He won't judge you if you have low magic potention, can't use magic or get really tired.

But if you can, he'll help you to cast magic that you're struggling with. They're careful to not push you hard or train for long, he doesn't want you to end... Uhh like. Y'know.

They let you wear his cape, or you just casually steal it the second they takes it off.

"Y/N, have you seen my cape-, Oh."

"Heheh... Hi Aris???"

They don't really mind it tho, as long as you don't do it constantly.

Oh also they're easily flusterable. Not that easy but a few compliments and flirts, and their cheeks will be as red as tomato.

He uses Sweetheart/sweetie and dear mostly.

Dad jokes. They makes terrible dad jokes. He terrorizes Billie and you with their terrible dad jokes. (although not as bad as Arthur's- *COUGH COUGH*)

He loves to have you cuddling with him on couch while your head resting on his shoulder, humming a soft tune or reading a book (Maybe both) while you're just sleeping.

When you're bored you randomly went up to him while he's working, like doing a potion or looking for a spell book etc and peek what he's working on from his shoulder. They don't mind it, actually they likes when you do that, he feels too lonely when you're not with him.

You love listening to him singing. While he's cooking, or working, doing a chore, whatever. Sometimes he's not even aware of that he's singing. (Vocal stimming maybe???)

He likes tea, herbal tea's spesifically. He always makes you one too when he's preparing to himself even though you didn't ask for it.

They're a little jealous, they won't be jealous of your friends and such of course, but he won't appreciate it if someone else flirting with you or being too close. But nah, they're jealous but not that much.

You have to go to places that they're banned from to bring materials they need. They never told you why they're banned from those places tho.

He tries to keep you away from Dimitri, they don't want you to get hurt or be in trouble because of something it'll do to you. (*İnsert burning house flashbacks*) But i think Dimitri probably has more common sense than they had a few years ago. So they're not a potential threat to you.

——————————————————————

Hii!!! Hello!!! Thank you for reading my headcanons!(⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

İ'm sorry if i have any grammar or spelling mistakes, English is not my first language.

See you soon, cya!(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

#Billie Bust Up #BBU #BBU headcanons #bbu Aristotle #Aristotle #aristotle the axolotl #Aristotle Headcanons

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crushedsweets · 1 year ago

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what is jack and toby's relationship like?

oohh ive covered this a few times. i love them.

this post i did on their relationship basically sums it up !! ill do more under the cut

jack helps the proxies so that slenderman lets him stay in the forest as refuge. he doesn't like toby at first, seeing him as too violent, too aggressive, viewing himself even in his monstrous form as more human than toby - which is true, in a sense . toby kills for slenderman. he wouldn't be killing people if not for that, BUT he absolutely finds release in it - he makes a game out of it, he detaches himself from the victims and reflects all he wanted to do to his dad onto them. sometimes he catches himself saying exact phrases his dad screamed back onto them. bro probably called his victims 'npcs' at some point LOLLLL

and jack RARELY EVER does his own killing. he gets a lot of his bodies as a dark web human remains disposer(cuz he gets paid for it too), or from jeff. and it took a while for him to be able to stomach the shit he has to do to survive, so it's rough for him.

jack hates it, jack hates what toby does, but he can see so much in toby that goes beyond that and it fucking sucks and it hurts and jacks prob cried FOR toby before. not in front of him, but anytime jacks confronting his own mortality and humanity, toby is one of the first people that comes to mind each time, and he wants to throw up thinking about it. only nina can rival how emotional jack is LOL

it's kinda weird for toby the way jack treats him - sometimes he gets mad and accuses him of treating toby like some research paper in a book, because he knew jack had a decently privileged upbringing in comparison to himself, and hates the supiroirty complex. jack asks too many questions and is always just trying to grasp whats going on in tobys brain and its fucking infuritating for toby.

but jacks just always fucking there. jack is easily the most present person, always easy to find, usually calm. tim/brian are rarely around, kate is unsettling and hiding away half the time, jeffs a dick, bens unreliable, ninas in love with jeff and has a life seperate from the creeps. even natalie has long periods of time where she just cannot get herself to confront toby because she has her own issues and is struggling to even maintain her job as a waitress. she can't be there half the time.

but jacks never gone. jack rarely tells him to get the fuck out. jacks so welcoming, even if he's an annoying uptight prick who thinks he's better than everyone - and half the time, toby knows jack is. he knows jacks better than everyone else around him and it sucks fucking ASSSSSS being around someone like him, but its also something toby needs really bad

after a year or so of knowing toby jack would be able to comfortably say he loves him, whether its as a friend or a brother or whatever the fuck sort of fucked up shit is going on in these freaks heads . again, jack is INCREDIBLY FUCKING HUMAN hes emotional he loves so hard he hates himself he wants people he wants connection he feels so alone he wants everyone to be there he wants his mom he wants his siblings he wants to read he wants to walk around he wants to cook he wants to breath in fresh air. and toby really does put in some work for that. maybe not correctly, honestly he might fuck it up more often than he gets it right, but who the fuck else is gonna invite jack to go swimming on a random summer night ? how badly he wish he could see tobys face when toby asks to hang out

also this one shot from necroromantics if ur looking for good jack toby content . sorry for stealing tomb. u just get them so much . also sort of in the same vein of this drawing i did ... jack was full of life and empathy and love and joy for so long....... doesn't understand how toby never had any to begin with.

#i project my grandparents patience and kindness onto jack LOLZ #i cried like 5 times in the last 2 weeks just thinking about how much i love my grandparents and i put a lot of them onto jack #creepypasta #ticci toby #toby rogers #eyeless jack #jack nyras #creeped #hcs

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alola-reblogging · 7 months ago

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Hi idk if requests are open? I was wondering If you could do a request for what the alola crews addictions are? I Hope this makes sense! Thanks have a wonderful day/night 😊

Hi yes requests are OPEN! Though...I wasn't sure who you meant by Alola crew so I chose who to write for if that's okay? Re-request with someone specific if you like :) also not sure if you mean like addiction or addicted as in obsession?

Hau

I mean...its gotta be malasadas right? If you thought the answer was anything different then that's on you, my friend ♡

Gladion

Ima say Monster true emo kid bc I imagine he had a lot of long nights out training silvally, especially since they could only train at night. He needed the extra energy to stay awake. Not to mention all of the late night jobs he probs had to do for Team Skull as well. He also totally collects the cans with cool designs and keeps them displayed in his motel room, theyre all neatly stacked like its 2006 again

Moon

Judging by the manga...I'd say medicine! Moons a pharmacist in the manga so I'd say her obsession is plants/poison types, anything that can improve medicine or be studied.

As for in game Moon obviously people can kinda make her how they want too since she's a protag, but I think pokemon battles are a safe bet!

Also cannon that she's a masked royal fan! So I guess she could be addicted to battle royals too!

Thou since I'm a big fan of lonashipping ima throw Gladion as an obsession into the mix too hehe

Professor Kukui

Pokemon battles for sure, but specifically the moves. Like we know he basically uses himself as a test subject for his Pokemon to test their moves against so I guess he's a move addict? I mean let's not forget that one line in sumo about my body is ready! Woo!

Guzma

Weed. Like really....let's face it...Team Skull are definitely all pot heads. I mean one bro tried to steel a bus stop??? If that MF wasn't high then Pikachu is a dragon type.

Plus he probs smokes up to forget all of his childhood trauma stuff.

Nanu

Cat man. This guy is addicted to Meowths. I mean it's literally cannon, every conversation you have with him in game that isn't a cutscene he's legit talking about meowth. Man sees a random meowth outside, just chilling? He's taking it home fr

Lillie

It's cannon she loves the stars and astrology, so ima go with that! I know she loves fashion and sewing but I'd say the cosmos has been a more life long addiction...

Also loves plushies

Sophocles

Coding & hacking !! This guy could hack into any bank and deposit 10 billion pokedollars into your bank account if he wanted ~ but he's a good boy so he won't!!

Molayne

Weeb. Big phat weeb! His addiction is anime & video games, Molayne's secret dream is to one day become so advanced with computer science he can bring his waifu to life.

Also what is this gif I love it xD

Lusamine

I mean....it gotta be ultra beasts...she was crazy for them afterall....like anime lusamine doesn't exist in my book....even ULTRA sumo Lusamine don't exist....that first expirence playing sun left me fucked up fr....those poor frozen pokemon 😢

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oneluckydragon · 4 months ago

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I have a few questions about Echo!

1) when did she know she used to be Darkrai? My guess is at Dark Crater, either when she first laid eyes an Darkrai and just *knew,* or something about Palkia's speech about what could happen to Darkrai after being attacked in the portal.

2) what caused the scar on her neck? (Probs darkrai tbh)

3) alright so this is probably me overthinking things but did Echo change genders?? Asking cause Darkrai is typically referred to as 'he/him', and he has a distinctly masculine voice in his movie. Plus, it also makes sense with Darkrai and Cresselia being opposites: Cress is canonically a female while Darkrai is depicted as a male, full moon vs new moon, sweet dreams vs nightmares, day and night, light and dark, and so on. So did Darkrai go from he/him to ???/??? (as a 'human') to she/her? Did Darkrai just not give a shit? Have we been accidentally misgendering Darkrai this whole time?

Basically I'm asking b/c 1) confusion, and 2) is it another layer of symbolism about how Echo is nothing like her former self?

@maxtheirisagent tagging you like requested!

Thanks so much for asking about Echo! I'm happy to answer any questions so feel free to pester me whenever you'd like. It's so exciting that someone wants to know more about her. c:

+++ +++ +++ +++ +++

The truth about Echo's past life as Darkrai clicked the moment she first met Cresselia within Azurill's nightmare.

Not only did she piece the truth together because the sight of her long-lost sister-- someone she had scorned and despised and hated in her original life-- jarred her so much that it cleared away some of the fog in her memory. But it was the feeling. The rush of anger, of fury, the ache she felt upon seeing Cresselia again after years and years of separation. It awoke something inside Echo that felt real in a way she couldn't ignore. Like a puzzle piece finally slotting into place.

And even more, Echo had her suspicions leading up to said point. She cannot dream at all. Not ever. Never figured out why during her time as a human and Eevee, and yet other Pokemon tend to suffer nightmares around her (even as a human, this ability Bad Dreams never went away) which had caused some pain for both Sora and Grovyle over the years. And Echo never shared the secret that she doesn't dream. She never confessed to suspecting that these nightmares might be her fault, so Sora and Grovyle never understood the origins of their own nightmares either-- but Echo was able to deduce that she was indeed the source of the problem. Especially after Chatot had explained that Darkrai caused nightmares and pain wherever he went, and the correlation between Echo's powers, her amnesia, her sudden appearance on the beach, her life with Grovyle in the dark future, the Dimensional Scream/connection to the Time Gears, and Darkrai's personality were too coincidental.

What solidified this conclusion is that while Cresselia was traveling with Team Wish during their attempts to reach Dark Crater, Sora did not suffer nightmares at all-- for the first time in what seemed like ages. And it was a like a gut punch, a vicious stab in the heart, and Echo immediately knew why. It was because Cresselia was accompanying them, and her gentle light purifies bad dreams and brings good health. Someone that could cancel out the nasty effect Echo seems to have on others... and it did. Cresselia DID cancel out these nightmares and that could only mean one thing.

And Echo was angry, then. Angry at Cresselia. Angry at herself. And fueled that anger towards fighting Darkrai for the sake of everyone she loved.

+++ +++ +++ +++ +++

You're right! The scar on Echo's neck is indeed from Darkrai. In fact, both of Echo's scars (the large one along her neck AND the one denting her leg as an Eevee/Umbreon or rather on her arm as a human). Each one was received technically at the same time, but with a twist! During the final battle at Dark Crater, Echo and Darkrai both went berserk and clashed in a desperate attempt to knock each other out.

Echo inflicted a wound onto Darkrai which took sizeable chunks out of his forearm. When Palkia shattered the dimensional portal it then instantly scarred that injury and Darkrai then carried it through ALL future lifetimes. Which is why Echo still has that scar as a Human -> Eevee -> Umbreon. Despite Darkrai receiving this injury during the peak of their final battle, Echo has bore it for all of her past lives up until the point she actually GIVES it to Darkrai. A new wound for him. An old wound for her.

Simultaneously, Darkrai inflicted the neck scar onto Echo who then carries this mark the rest of her life as an Umbreon. It's a bit of a coincidence that her neck scar ends up somewhat, strangely, resembling the red fringe that Darkrai has around his own neck. She finds this to be some kind of messed up joke being played on her by the universe, because now there's ANOTHER reminder of her old life being thrust in her face whenever she catches a glimpse of her reflection. (It's bad enough looking like Dusknoir as an Umbreon, but now this too? How unfortunate.)

A major purpose to these scars is that I think they are a bold (albeit complicated) way to show that both your past and present choices can cause self-harm when destructive, and that it can leave permanent marks that will haunt you through your entire life (or lives in this case!) but that in the end it doesn't define you. Despite everything, you can still grow beyond the trauma inflicted upon yourself. You can be more than the bad choices that hurt you. You can learn to live beyond your own perception and expectations! You can let go of your own mistakes and let them heal/scar, let them fade. And move on to be better.

+++ +++ +++ +++ +++

And my friend, you are not overthinking things. I haven't explained Echo's progression through her life-stages yet, but hopefully I can shed some light on that topic now. (Apologies ahead of time if this is overly convoluted!)

Echo did change gender! Like this:

(Darkrai) he/him or they/them -> (Human) they/them -> (Eevee/Umbreon) she/her or they/them

The reasoning behind this particular progression is that I am guilty of inserting the main game lore into PMD. Whenever I think of legendary or mythical Pokemon (that aren't officially assigned male or female like Latios and Latias) I always immediately think of them as nonbinary in my mind. Darkrai in the PMD universe seems to use male pronouns as mentioned (or rather in the movie, like you stated, had a male-presenting voice) so I think Echo would have used he/him as a personal preference while living as Darkrai. However, he was still technically "genderless" as a mythical (or even nonbinary) and thus was comfortable with they/them as well.

Echo as a human is nonbinary and no longer uses male pronouns. I like to think of them as Echo's "blank slate" form. They think, feel, and appear in very simple but strong terms. And as such their gender binary has been washed away too! They use they/them because it's what Grovyle chose when he met them in the dark future. Grovyle decides that Echo is human based on what minimal knowledge he's gained from ancient tales/myths/glyphs about extinct humans, but he has no idea what a true human would look like since humanity is long dead. And since Echo has no distinct male or female characteristics as a pseudo-human, Grovyle doesn't shove them into a specific box of labels and instead starts using they/them to accommodate. Echo accepts it. Besides, with both amnesia clouding their past and a body that doesn't quite fit, Echo never really felt compelled to argue against his decision. It seemed counter-intuitive and like a waste of energy to argue. Echo was too busy being angry about other things to really care.

Echo as an Eevee/Umbreon uses she/her pronouns. This is because Sora starts using them immediately upon meeting Echo on the beach, and Echo (with a second round of amnesia and a body that now presents more towards female appearances) accepts it because it just makes sense. She has no memory of her past, and because Sora wholeheartedly starts calling Echo "she", well, Echo just goes with it. Because someone as sweet as Sora must know what she's talking about, right? She doesn't seem like the type to lie or play pranks, after all.

Additional note: Even as an Eevee/Umbreon, Grovyle still uses they/them for Echo since that's what he's used too. And Echo is fond of him using it anyway, so she is comfortable with it. It feels like a little promise between them. And it brings back some of the sparse good memories Echo had with Grovyle while stuck in the dark future together.

Additional ADDITIONAL note: Once Echo and Cresselia have begun reconciliation and start repairing their sibling relationship, she often refers to Echo has her "brother" out of old habit (eons of habit, really). Cresselia normally apologizes for the mistake and tries to correct herself but Echo isn't bothered by this at all. "I'm still your brother," Echo tells her, "If that's what you want to call me, then I see no reason to stop." And Cresselia appreciates it, because she's really trying, but it might take a little bit to re-train herself.

And you got it, my friend! The change in Echo's pronouns IS symbolism about how Echo has grown/evolved beyond her original self. That she is no longer the same being of pain and fury that Darkrai was-- and that she has moved away from this shadow of her past. That she has struggled to become something she's proud of, someone tempered by patience and hope. Love has changed Echo, and thus Echo is happy with this new version of herself because her loved ones chose it for her. And she is okay with that!

I also really enjoy the idea that while Echo and Cresselia are still opposites in both powers and personality, they now share common ground on at least ONE thing after being entirely different for their whole mutual existence. They can relate. They can be siblings again. They can heal. And they do together, they work and work and work on being good to each other and being overall better individuals. And they learn to love each other again. <3

#sorry for the wait I was super busy!! but I wanted to give your ask some good responses!#But I hope this answers your questions! This was so fun <3 #I am nonbinary myself so it was really fun to design a nonbinary character who's pronouns evolve alongside her!#To be loved is to be changed #And this concept extends even to Echo's sense of gender/self #btw thank you for the ask maxtheirisagent you seem really sweet! c:#I'd love for you to send asks again if you ever feel compelled #I dunno if this bunch of dribble made even a lick of sense!! But I really enjoyed writing this for you #ask tag #pmd ocs #echo/umbreon

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creepling · 8 months ago

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here are my headcanons that clash with the lore [aka ronnie hobb's headcanons he just makes up on the spot me thinks] i have for tcm game characters bc i have writer's block and i need out of it FAST.

danny does not go to university, i'm sorry. i know i know the home gives him a scholarship but he is a blue collar guy. he has to make his own living, he's a hands on guy and he's got COMMON SENSE. no working-class person in the 70s is going to college, they know learning on the job is both sustainable for living (plus he's in a situation where he has to leave the home at 18, so he gotta pay city rent prices to have a roof over his head) and better to learn a trade while getting a paycheck. he was an apprentice since he was 18, and is a year into working as a car mechanic in austin. he does night/weekend classes at the university, probs something in humanities or art. he frequents the student bars when he has his time off, and that is when he meets maria + the gang. he knows leland from fixing his car from time to time, and when danny sees him at a bar one night, hanging out with maria, he knows right away he's asking him to introduce him to her.

leland is NOT the mf that gets the friend group together. this mf has a lot of misogyny to unlearn from growing up in a southern suburb. he took an elective in an art just so he can be in a class with "hot chicks". he doesn't even consider being friends with women at first bc he used to think girls = protential girlfriends/future wives. it wasn't until he found out sonny (the first friend he made, his bff) was close with maria, julie and connie that he warmed up to the idea of all hanging out together. sure... his crush on julie played a factor on him wanting to stay, but being around such open-minded people made him relax and unlearn the shitty traditions he didn't like in the first place. now they're like sisters to him and he lets maria braid his hair when stoned and makes attempt at getting connie out of her shy shell. watching julie from afar, remembering her off-hand remark about not wanting to be in a relationship, keeping his feelings to himself; because he doesn't wanna ruin the bond they all have.

the reason why julie is not wanting to date is because she comes to the realisation of her sexuality. she realises she likes men because, men tend to like her first, and it's easy to love someone who loves you back (typical fire sign move). and she's never picky, she says she doesn't care about looks; it's more the personality. and that is true but, for a guy if he has good style and funny -- she's settled. then she will see a lassie and think "she is the most ethereal thing i've laid eyes on". the intensity of her love for women compared to men hits her overnight. she lets her love for women shine through her platonic relationships; connie, maria and ana are her first priorities (especially connie). she likes sleepovers, having the illusion of living with a s/o while sharing a bed and making breakfast in the morning. she loves showering her friends in compliments, giving them makeovers, taking any excuse to be close to them and show her adoration. her subconscious desire to be in a relationship with a woman lives vicariously through the platonic relationships she has with her feminine peers.

the only person who can see right through it is connie, someone who has her sexuality figured out. she went through the same self-discovery, after all. but loving julie means moving on from her lover who she left behind, so connie is tied at both ends. does she take the risk, find new beginnings, even when there is no concrete proof julie is capable of loving her? or does she keep her promise, return to her lover back home, even if that meant witnessing the promise broken on the other side? what if she found another fate, got married, had kids, kept the feelings hidden. and when she sees how men look at julie, and how boys looked at her past lover, the insecurity prevails. why should they take the risk for her, a singular person, when there is the familiar option lining up to be her husband? *queue Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan*

#went from working class heroes to GAY real quick huh #i say i'm not a shipper then make the most angsty julie/connie headcanon SORRY #sorry i have a habit of queer yearning bc i am miserable #tcm game #danny gaines #leland mckinney #sonny williams #julie crawford #connie taylor

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worriedvision · 2 years ago

Note

I love your content so much XD.

I dunno if you still do poly fics or moved away from that (feel free to ignore this if you have.)

This is for Kavethem x reader because I've gained a small obsession with Kaveh atm.

If you can do something with this shop can you make it hella angsty? I was gonna say plot was (**Reader was going to confess to Alhaitham and asked Kaveh to help them w, but somehow it goes wrong or Alhaitham doesn't accept it. Prob later on they go to tell Kaveh Abt it and gets sympathy from their friend, only to find out Kaveh confessed to Haitham and they started dating a day later.**)

Could end with Reader yelling at them or walking off depressed?

Like I said it might be wayyy to similar to your Cynari poly fics so feel free to ignore.

Love your content can't wait to see more ;p

Okay so I have thought of a way of making this work. It'll make more sense as you read it, and it's gonna be one of those awkward 'this is my boyfriend' moments. Gender neutral reader, angst obviously haha! I did take this a different route, hopefully you like it!

You had asked Alhaitham if he wanted to go out for a meal with you, and when he said yes you were ecstatic. He returned your feelings!

...Or so you thought.

Turns out, he didn't think this was anything different from your other hangouts. When you 'asked him out', you had asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner tonight. In hindsight, you should have realised that your words didn't convey that you wanted to confess your love for him. When he showed up with Kaveh, you thought Kaveh was just a friend of his.

"I brought my boyfriend along, if that's alright with you." Alhaitham states. "We have our date night tonight, but I figured we may as well do this instead." He nods, Kaveh rolling his eyes.

"Oh, please. You forgot about our date night, and-" Kaveh stops himself, clearing his throat. "At least you were honest with me, though." Kaveh smiles at Alhaitham, the pit in your stomach growing by the second. He kisses him on the cheek before taking a seat next to each other, you sitting there as you process everything.

"Is there something wrong?" Alhaitham asks, seeing how unusually quiet you are.

"Oh..." You trail off, thinking of a good response. "It's nothing." You wince, Kaveh seeming to understand that you didn't realise he was dating Alhaitham.

"Did you think I was single and available?" Alhaitham asks, Kaveh looking over. "I'm sorry, but as you can see, I have got someone."

"Well, obviously! You never came out about us being partners, you insisted it would only lead to conflict, and look where that has us!" Kaveh tuts, crossing his arms and looking to the side.

"To someone thinking they have a chance with me, and you announcing our dating in public?" Alhaitham retorts, shaking his head.

"Well you were the one who said I was your boyfriend, publicly, first!" Kaveh groans out, you feeling like an ant as you feel everyone's eyes on you.

'That's such a shame', you hear a woman whisper.

'Well, those two certainly look good together', you hear someone else whisper.

'That person sitting across from them looks really pathetic', a man whispers, the person drinking with them stomping harshly on his foot to scold him silently.

"I think I'll just go home..." You trail off, getting up and putting on your jacket.

"What did you think was going to happen, _?" Alhaitham asks, looking at you as he crosses his arms. "Confess your love to me in public, where I would harshly turn you down?"

"Alhaitham, that's too far!" Kaveh yells, Alhaitham turning back to him to argue even more.

You leave while the two are fighting, knowing that you couldn't bare to turn back and see all the sets of eyes watching you leave with humiliation running through your veins.

#kaveh #alhaitham #gender neutral reader #angst #kaveh x alhaitham

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mangio-formaggio · 1 year ago

Text

Stranger Things AU for HSM

because it's (almost) the spooky season and this time last year I was obsessed with Eddie x Steve. So you know... angsty teenagers somewhat babysitting their friends and having sexuality crisis? Anyone? May ended up being a little bit Scooby Doo-ish, we will see.

- It's all starts with Wildcats leaving the evening practice and Zeke is decides to shortcut through the park in the night. And he gets caught by the Demogorgon (prob because the cookies in his backpack smells too good lol).

— The only person who knows that Zeke took a turn to the park is Ryan. Cause he may have a tiny crush on Zeke and sneaked that night in gym to watch the boys play. And when the practice was over he had to rush outside before get caught or stack at school for the whole night.

— What Ryan is totally forgot is that he was supposed to pick up Kelsi, who worked late at a new song. And she did indeed got stack in the school. And she hadn't been seen next morning.

— Sharpay on the other hand used to Zeke's attention at this point, and very confused when he's not there next morning to give her fresh bakery before classes start.

— Long story short when Zeke's and Kelsi parents are raising alarm the next morning the whole class is send to the principal's office to be questioned.

— And there's a gossip that Ryan killed Kelsi. Weird quiet brother of the most terrifying girl in school murdered someone? Makes sense.

— Wildcats aren't believe those rumors, but they figures out that Ryan could see Zeke if he was in school last night for Kelsi. So they ask.

— Ryan is pretty stressed at this point, so he absently mentions to the team about Zeke and the park. And of course they immediately decide to investigate themselves.

— At the same time, Sharpay finds Kelsi's stuff at the theater, but the new song is not there. She looks around the piano and there's nothing but wired amount of wet leaves. But it wasn't raining last night.

— In the park Wildcats can't find any clues about Zeke. But Troy finds a girl. Scared and unable to speak. She refuses to be taken to the police station. She can lift thing with her mind and solves equations just after one look at them. All the boys can find out about her is that her name is Gabriella and she worries about her mom.

— Taylor and Martha see how Gabi solves equations an wowed. Also wtf jocks are doing around such a smart new girl? And Taylor being Taylor very quickly understands what's going on here.

— The company of other girls helps Gabi to relax and open up a bit, even if she still in shock: doesn't remember how she ended up in a forest and what's the danger is treating her and the whole East High now.

— While this group is connecting the dots and figures out how to use Gabi's power to communicate with Zeke in Upside-down, Sharpay is trying to help Ryan snaps out of anxiety and insist they should continue rehearsals.

— So twins are at the theater when Wildcats and girls are messing with a school radio. And then suddenly the lights are starts flickering, the speakers around empty school are broadcasting white noise...

— And then everyone hear weak trembling voice. Kelsi's voice. She's singing her new song. Quietly and slightly hysterically.

— Wildcats are confused where exactly the voice is coming from: they tried to reach out Zeke in possible parallel universe, not drama club, right?

— When they rushed into the theater they finds only Evan's twins on a verge of a heart attack (and Ryan is also is about to have nervous break down).

— For a couple of seconds they all are trying to sing along, in a desperate attempt to let the Kelsi know that she's heard. Next moment the lights are off completely.

— The singing stops. But they can hear Kelsi's breathing heavily. And then there's a distinct low growl. One second in speakers. Another somewhere backstage.

— Suddenly the light is on again. And fall clearly inhumane shadow appears on the side of the stage.

— The monster jumps. The kids are frozen by terror. Gabi lifts her hands and screams and the next thing everybody knows is that the speakers are broken with a loud crack, the monster is gone and everything seems back to normal.

— Expect it's not and everybody understands very clearly now what's took their friends. The jocks, the nerds and drama kids join forces. They need a plan.

— While the monster-hunting is discussed and organized, some emotional drama unravels.

— Troy is completely mesmerized with Gabi. But she doubts whether he actually likes her or he likes her cool superpowers. After all they can't even properly communicate. She's also remembers herself we'll enough to understand that her life is somewhere else and she needs to focus on finding her mother.

— Sharpay is mad because she likes to be in control. And currently is nothing can be controlled except her own sanity. She hesitant about joining the upcoming quest. She's a performer and a school princess. Not a fighter. She can't wander through the park in this shoes, thank you very much. On the other hand, she can't leave her brother, who's very determined to help Kelsi as much as he can. Lastly, even if she would never admit, she worries sick about Zeke.

— Taylor knows their plan is just absolutely terrible, dumb and suicidal idea. But she's also have a ridiculously amount of fun navigating the attack plan and investigating where the portal to Upside-down is. Also the feeling of community is so new and nice. She just can't leave those idiots on her own.

— Chad isn't jealous. That would be stupid. And what kind of jerk would be jealous of Gabi when she's evidently went through horrible trauma, apparently wanted by some shady government people and is under constant pressure of saving everybody. But it just so hard to take that in a crisis like this Troy is neglecting his leadership in order to look after his new girlfriend... Surprisingly good thing, however, is that Evans twins are actually helpful. Ryan is very easy to become friends with actually: he can handle that bat, sincerely care about this small Kelsi person and is fun to joke around. His arms are surprisingly strong, his eyes are... well, blue. Oh, and his sister undeniably was born to lead some small army or shoot some monsters right between eyes.

— Ryan is probably running on a pure adrenaline at this point. His body just can't tolerate this amount of stress anymore, so it's almost euphoric state of confidence now. He almost doesn't recognize himself. Like volunteering on a reconnaissance mission? Or agreeing to arm himself with a gigantic bat? Or talking to Chad Danforth like they knew each other for ages? And Ryan even dares to flirt? And tease? And yeah, having a crush on an another straight athlete is still absolutely terrible idea, but maybe they gonna die tomorrow so what the hell?

— Anyways... They find the portal. They find both of their friends. Alive and mostly well. They survived on Zeke's cookies.

— And Demogorgon finds them.

— The fight is unravel. Boys kicking and punching. Sharpay shooting. Taylor and Martha are evacuating Zeke and Kelsi. Gabi stays behind to close the portal.

— Everyone makes it out alive. Chad and Ryan make out celebratory. Sharpay is already planing a show based on this adventure. She would go out with Zeke the next day after he will rest, don't worry.

— Troy is brooding though. He rushes to the park like everyday since. But it completely normal trees and grass now. Nothing paranormal. So he slowly loses hope. Until one day they're having a game and the broken speakers are suddenly working again. And there's a Kelsi's song singing with the most beautiful and gentle voice he had ever heard.

— So they make a hole in theatre's wall to helps Gabi get out. Ms D isn't pleased though. They all got detention till the graduation. Can as well start to participate in musicals yk.

#hsm #high school musical #stranger things #chyan #chad x ryan #sharpay evans #sharpay x zeke #troy bolton #gabriella montez #troy x gabriella #taylor mckessie #zeke baylor #kelsi nielsen

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toxicanonymity · 1 year ago

Note

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

#ask #how the sausage is made #toxicanonymity writer's room #this doesnt mean i answer serious asks now lol

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c4l4mityv4in · 2 months ago

Text

The cute Witch boy flying outside my window (A Haikyuu fanfic)

Chapter 2: "My name is Shoyo Hinata"

Notes:

Looking back at this Chapter after a few weeks, I hate the way I wrote trans Hinata and wish I would ve gone with the original plan which I'm probably gonna use once I write the fic from Hinata's POV

Trigger Warning: mentions of Homophobia, Transphobia and violence against people of the LGBTQIA+ community

"Dear Diary

If you asked me how my day was I'd say: "I don't fucking know", I barely payed attention in class and practice after losing a match is always frustrating. I ran straight home after practice, even ignored the captain wanting to buy us snacks like he usually does. I stayed by the window for hours... and then I saw the crow and I heard the bell approaching

"Should I say something?"

"Should I be quiet?"

', I asked myself.

The bell got slower, as if Shoyo was trying to be quiet. Our eyes met as he finally flew past my window.

"Hi!" I said trying to sound cool

"Were you waiting for me?" He asked, I couldn't tell if he was trying to make fun of me for it by the sound of his voice.

My face turned red. What was I even expecting waiting for him like some creep? "Um...I-I kinda... yes?"

He got closer to me: "You're cute you know that?

Come on let me in"

He took his shoes off, the crow stayed by the windowsill as me and Shoyo chatted.

"I'm sorry I was acting like a creep and waiting for you earlier...um, I just...didn't ask you to come back and thought you were just a dream", that sounded fucking stupid! He looked at me dead serious and went: "I'd love to be the boy of you dreams" Diary when I tell you I was about to spontaneously combust I mean it! Why is that happening? Why do I feel like I'm on another planet every time I think of him or hear his voice!? It makes no sense to me”

"Dear Diary,

It's been a few weeks, summers here and Shoyo comes by every night. I asked Sugawara about the way I was feeling. He says I might have a crush and I don't know how to feel about that. Does Shoyo even like boys?

Should I ask him if he likes boys? What if he calls me slurs like those boys in middle school?.. No he would never, he has no cruelty in his heart. He comes by every night and we hang out and every time he stays until I fall asleep and he's gone the next day.

He always comes around 10pm, I'm grown used to the sound of his bell.

I also got used to him crashing into my closet that's in front of the window cause apparently he's too lazy to just say "Hello may I come in?". I started putting pillows in front of it so he doesn't hurt himself. I'll update you

once he gets here

We watched "Mamma Mia!" this time (which is totally not linked to the Author having watched the movie for the first time a few hours ago and developing a new hyper fixation, the Author), we stayed up all night recreating all the choreographies and sang all the songs...and then we got to lay all your love on me, and we were close, very close, so close I could have kissed him. The music stopped and the moment ended, to say I was disappointed would be an understatement. "I like the view", Shoyo said jokingly (?), he basically climbed on top of me. "Get off shorty! Let me see what's wrong with this damn CD", I was frustrated! Would he have kissed me if the music didn't stop? "What's wrong with it?" he asked. "I don't think it's the CD I think it's the stereo. Guess it's about time I buy a new one" I answered. He looked disappointed and then he focused on my face, not my eyes tho, lower. "I guess we should go to sleep then, good thing it's Saturday

tomorrow" I took some pijamas, changed in the bathroom and then lied right next to him. Before I knew it, the words slipped out of my mouth "Do you wanna go out with me?" I froze. Why did I even say that? "Sure! When?" I didn't want to lie to him and say I wanted a hang out as friends. "I mean...like a date", I swallowed and awaited a response.

"Yeah, I know that's what you meant. I've been flirting with you probably since the first time we met" I felt like a stone that had been sitting on my chest just disintegrated, I was relieved to say the least."

"Dear Diary,

The date was good, then bad, then I felt like I was on another plane of existence.

Let me break it down for you, I got ready for the date and waited for that talking crow to call me to tell me where to pick Shoyo up, "Aye! Resting bitch face! Ya ready!", Woodpecker's voice still sounded like a chainsmoker muppet getting strangled and honestly we got used to insulting each other. Once I got outside he guided me into the woods to what looked like a perfectly normal tree, he told me to knock on it and so I did.

The trees changed shape and a huge hole opened up covered by a curtain "Come in!" I heard Shoyo yell. I entered took off my shoes and took in how big the inside actually was: "This place is so cool, Shoyo!"

"Thank you! Did you bring me those clothes you said you had for me? I only have traditional witch garments", he asked, I pulled out a shirt, shorts and swim trunks out of my tote bag for him, his face changed color as soon as he saw that last thing. "Is everything alright?" I asked, concerned "It's just...look if we're gonna date I might as well tell you...I am trans, and I have scars on my chest...", he said visibly nervous

"I don't care whether you're cis or not, I want to date you!"

, I responded

"But...there is a lot of bad things that happen to trans people all the time just cause they exist, I'm scared that...if I go to the pool or the beach and take my shirt off.. will I be the next face to end up on the news?", he was holding back tears. I didn't know what to say, I could only hug him and tell him that I would never allow that to happen to him and that anyone who'd like to hurt him would have to pass over my dead body to do so.

"Can I just keep my shirt on? I don't care whether we go to the pool or the beach I'm both planning on swimming anyway", he asked, tears streaming down his face. "Of course you can! I wasn't going to force you to do anything anyway we can literally just take a stroll on the beach if you prefer that!", I said.

"T'd love that", Shoyo responded

"Can I ask where your parents are?", I was curious since I saw nobody other than Shoyo in this house.

"I don't know, I don't remember my parents, I ran off into the woods one night after a walk with my parents, got lost found a shiny stone that turned me into a witch and... the memories faded away, elder witches took care of me for awhile then I found Woodpecker and I started living alone, they say that they can always make me a human again but...", he touched his chest "would that mean I'd be a girl again? I don't want that to happen!", he explained.

"I can't tell you what to do but...I say you should go with your gut", I suggested

Our date started with a snack trip to the grocery store. Me and Shoyo were at the drinks ile whenwe heard a woman yell: "Natsu Hinata come back right now!"

A little girl bumped into Shoyo's leg, they looked eerily similar, same hair color, same bone structure, same dumb look in their eyes. "I'm so sorry you two, she just ran off without warning I hope she didn't hurt you when she ran into you", said the girl's mother, she also looked eerily similar to Shoyo, as they left her turned to me with a shocked look

"Hinata...", he mumbled under his breath.

"My name is Shoyo Hinata"

I looked at him, dumbfounded: "You mean those two right there were..."

"Most likely...I guess I have a sister"

He just stared into nothing for a while before coming back to his senses, "I'll deal with that later! Let's focus on our date first!", he took my hand and I felt like a storm of butterflies exploded in my stomach trying desperately to find a way out, we were both extremely red, his face had this adorable dorky grin I wish I could look at for the rest of eternity. After shopping we went down to the beach to have our picnic, there were lots of changing cabins and lots of people too, as soon as we set up our spot I heard a voice calling my name:

"Kageyama!!"

", yelled Tanaka from afar. "Tanaka-

senpai! Didn't expect to see you here", behind him stood a short boy with wet hair of two different colors: "Nishinoya-senpai! I haven't seen you in ages!" Nishinoya had scars on his chest, similar to what I think Hinata's chest must look like, I knew about it, I saw him once in the changing room before he stopped playing.

(Reminder that in this fic, Hinata never convinced Asahi to come back/called him inside the gym so both him and Nishinoya aren't part of the team anymore)

"Nice seeing you again, man!", said Nishinoya

"Who's the short fry?", asked Tanaka

"This is Shoy....Shoyo Hinata, he's my-"

"I'm his date!", he interrupted me

Tanaka whistled, "I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Kageyama!", he teased

I blushed, I would love to call Shoyo my boyfriend one day but it was simply too early, "It's just a first date, calm down!"

This next thingvis going to be a little butchered, Shoyo told me about a conversation he had with Nishinoya while I was bickering with Tanaka,

"How are you saw confident about them?", Shoyo asked him

"About what?", Noya was confused by the question

"Your top surgery scars, how are you not scared of someone attacking you just for existing?", Shoyo explained himself. Noya seemed to pause for a moment,

"If I live in fear of being myself in public, what's the point of going out? These kind of things can happen anywhere even in your own home, just cause there is a chance someone will go Psycho on me I'm not going to change myself to please others! I'm a man dammit! And people will see that I'm proud of being trans whether they like it or not!", Noya's eyes gleamed, according to Shoyo the fire in his eyes could have put the flames of hell to shame.

"But what if it DOES happen?"

', Shoyo was still in his state of paranoia

"There is no nice way to say this really and the chance of that happening isn't even that high, the Americans are the ones we should worry about the most, soif you were to "go" tomorrow, would you rather be ashamed of

who you are in life and regret it in death or would you rather be proud of your identity till your clock stops ticking?", Nishinoya's words were enough to

move something inside Shoyo, he took his shirt off, we swam in the sea, i felt like shit cause 1 remembered why I hate sea-water, salt gets everywhere and all the sand sticks to your legs but overall we had fun

"Are you sleeping over? I wouldn't mind actually having you by my side when I wake up for once, you can use our shower to wash up if you want", I asked him

"What about your parents? Won't they mind?", he asked me, he held my hand as we walked back.

"Nah, they're never home, it's always just me and my older sister and she's been begging for me to bring home someone I like", I explained

"So you like me?", he said in a teasing tone

"What if I do?", I playfully clapped back.

Shoyo snickered a little under his breath

"Stay still for a second", he asked me.

He went up a few of the stone steps in feont of my house, leaned forward and kissed me... on the cheek.

I wasn't upset about it but my lips were literally two centimeters away.

"Can you open the door?", he asked me as if nothing happened.

#ao3 #haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fluff #hinata shouyou #kagehina #shobio #wattpad #writers on tumblr

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panzershrike-pretz · 1 year ago

Text

Lanterns

Part 4

Disclaimer: -----

Summary: A Goddess who lost her faith, trying to get back to her senses so her family doesn't fall apart.

Warnings: -----

Taglist: @malarkgirlypop , @bucky32557038ww2, @xxluckystrike (if you want in or out, just tell me!)

-> Image below found here.

Hydra hadn't noticed that she kept the lantern as she made her way back to shore. Her feet dragged along the sand, so lost in her own mind she coudn't even focus on whatever she needed to do - it only clicked when she found herself crashing against one of her crewmates.

"Oh, i'm so sorry! I didn't- well, i wasn't-"

"Is 'at yours?", Sirius pointed at the lantern, confused as to why his sister had it.

"Uh... yeah... kind of. An elder gave it to me at the church..." Hydra said slowly, incapable of meeting his eyes. She wasn't planning on dealing with him right now. "She was so sweet, i couldn't say no..."

Sirius smirked, walking around her as if to make sure she was in one piece, having a good look to see if she had hit her head against something. Then, he grabbed her by the hand to give her a little spin. "Ok. Who're ya and what'd ye do with my sister?"

"What? Why?", she laughed, smiling at is anttics.

"Well 'cuz the Hydra I know would ne'er be seen with one o' those", he pointed at the lantern once again, curious. "Ye'll keep it?"

"Why are you like this, stupid?" She scoffed, narrowing her eyes at him. "As a matter of fact, I was indeed plannin' on keepin' it."

" 'Kay, spill yer beans. Ye ain't my Hydra, are ya?", he kept his stupid smirk, crossing his arms. Part of him was proud of his baby sister for deciding to keep it - and another, bigger part of him, was worried she might be really sick. "Go on, I know ye're just someone in disguise. Hit me with a bullet, ye Royal sea rat."

"Sirius! I'm not one of those bastards!"

"Well, one can only guess... I think I lost me darling sis'...", he said, trying to seem sad while wipping an imaginary tear out of his eye. "She'll be so dearly missed... I do wonder what is my part in her heirloom... Can I keep yer good stuff? I might sell yer clothes, those would make me get some good booty"

Hydra rolled her eyes at him, making her way towards the ship - but Sirius was right on her tail, questioning her every move 'till she stopped right on her tracks and stared him down.

"Didn't Sam give you something to do?"

"He did." Sirius nodded. "But I won't. As Ol' Athena said... not feelin' it."

"You do know that you're not in a position to choose, don't you?"

"Then why aren't ye doing what he told ye? If me memory isn't faillin' me, Sam told ya to get mor' coal and fire wood." Sirius watched carefully as his sister's face dropped in disbelief. He knew she had forgotten - and he also knew he was told to help her out, but decided not to simply to be lazy on the beach. "No prob, little Ibis, I can take the blame for ya. Ye know, like always."

"You just wan't something to manipulate me with, that's what you want."

"Yeah, that too... but I wouldn't like my sweet always-on-point smart-ass responsible baby sister to get in trouble, would I?"

Hydra could not believe her ears, having to contain her laugh. "You manipulative scurvy snake!"

Sirius shook his shoulders. "Worth a try."

As both started walking back - Hydra to drop off the lantern and Sirius to rub into Sam's face how useless he was -, they just let the sound of the waves hitting the beach fill the air. The man was whistling some song she could only make out half of - probably a sea shanty.

Some seagulls looked over at them, curious and unbothered, sitting over in one of the little docks where fishermen would sit all day long waiting for bites.

She still had Maria's words in her mind and wasn't really able to ignore it. Something inside her was screaming that she needed to step up to her own responsibilities and make her title worth it at least a little bit. She felt jealous, of course.

Sirius was also a God; he took care of the night, the stars, the dogs and secrets. The man was good at his job, even though he's not exactly that interested in it, seeing as he did nothing more than the basic stuff - Hydra knew he would much rather prefer to stay snuggled up with both Michael and the Captain, Jeremy. And they were good in their own realms too.

Michael would always talk about his duties some thousand years ago, when someone stops to listen to his tellings. He loves to tell stories about the old rituals and celebrations for the moon himself, dancing around at night with the wolves and people of his own little kingdom.

Jeremy, in another hand, was one of the youngest Gods there was, but he also provided enough. He made the wind blow strong into Blithe's sails and always looked for his crew with his protective demeanor.

Hydra decided not to mention Athena, Rodion nor Darty. They all couldn't care less for their duties - specially Darty, since their whole thing was looking pretty and cursing narcisistic people, or something. It was pure hypocrisy in Hydra's eyes.

She didn't even notice when Peggy came running in their direction, jumping in the sand. The woman only saw the dog when it was almost too late and she was already tripping both pirates - who had too much luck not to fall face first on the ground.

Peggy barked, wagging her tail while running around them. She wanted to play and wasn't much preocupied if she made anyone eat sand so she could have company.

Sirius laughed as he took Hydra's lantern out of her hands. He knew she needed some time and decided to drop it off with her things by himself - and also, be the only one who'll need to hear any rants about not doing their tasks.

Hydra looked at him while he walked, somewhat grateful. Then she felt Peggy bite ate her wing feathers, pulling the woman to play.

Come on! Come on! Come look at what I found!

The dog barked as she let go of Hydra, running head first into the beach's waves and submerging her nose, only to immediately back down with a big shell in her mouth. She walked over to Hydra, nudging her with with her nose so she could take the shell and throw it.

Hydra did exactly that. Too many times, to be clear. As always, Peggy would run after it, her whole body shaking and then jump, probably swallowing some sand as she came back to another throw.

Eventually, Hydra found herself sitting in a rock while the dog ran wild, taken by the zoomies. The lapwings and seagulls would land and then immediately fly off again because of her.

Peggy came happily to her again, carrying something in her mouth to show the woman. The dog had her tongue out and whatever it was she had with her was trying to wiggle it's way out. It was only when she was really close that Hydra noticed it was a crab. How the fuck did Peggy find a crab?

The animal wasn't exactly happy with it's new uber dog, and when it got the chance, Peggy screamed the loudest she could, being pinched by it's claws on her lip. She violently shook her head and sent it flying to the sand, right before barking all her swear words at it.

Bad bad! Bad! Not good, you behaved bad! Bad! Her mind repeated, as it was the worse thing she could think of for calling the crab. She sure hated being called bad girl, so it would too, right?

Well, the crab only stood it's ground, menacingly waving it's claws at her before running away to the nearest bush.

Peggy looked over at where it ran to, making a quick mental note not to grab anymore of those things. It would fight back. It was definetely not food, sadly.

"Did you learn anything from that, Peggy?", Hydra asked amidst tearful laughs. "Who am I kidding? You would never."

Peggy immediately forgot about her newest unlocked fear, making her way towards the woman and sitting with the head on her lap to get some good scratches behind the ear.

"What do you think, Peggy?", she asked. "Do you like the lanterns?"

I don't know, is it food? The dog looked up, interested.

"You know, sometimes I wonder what do you have in mind."

---------------------------

Sirius didn't really take long before making his way up to Blithe's main deck. He was lost in his own mind, staring at the carved drawings on that lantern, when he felt eyes burning at his skin and looked up, only to find himself face to face with a very pissed off Seamus who was having a very bad time.

"What? Did Dean not kiss ya today?" The God asked, forgetting completely that Sam was, in fact, expecting him to return with wood and coal.

"No. He actually did." Sam narrowed his eyes at the man. "Aren't you forgetting something, pretty boy?"

Sirius looked around, then it downed on him. He smiled, playfully.

"Ahhh, Sammy, ye know how things are... would ye forgive an old man for forgettin' stuff?"

"Not exactly when that old man looks younger than me. Where is the stuff?"

"Look, this time I do have a good reason!", Sirius started, hoping that his story would make Sam completelly forget about his lack of responsibility. "I was followin' Hydra 'cuz, ye know, she's the good siblin'. Then she simply vanished out of nowhere. And I was soooo lost... and sad... definetely sad. And lost."

"Bullshit."

"Wait! Lemme finish! Then I made me way back to beach, aye, but I was just really worried 'bout her. Then I waited 'till she came back... and she ne'er did."

Seamus rolled his eyes so hard he thought they were going to fall off his face. "Right. Then how would you have this lantern? Did some ol' bunch o' dogs bring it to you, flea bag?"

"The woman that came in her place, and me swear on me life-"

"Stop it."

"A'ight. She did come back, yeah, with this. Mine sister's just goin' badonkers and accepted this lantern as a gift from an old woman."

Seamus stared at the thing, deciding if he would believe Sirius or not. It was a really hard choice, seeing as he knew Hydra fucking hated getting anything to fo with the Night of Libero Sanctis and Sirius would actually come up with whatever excuse he could to cover up his lazyness. Eventually, though, he decided to quietly nod and go along. Something in him felt some slight hint of truth in Sirius' words.

"She's commin' around." The man said, tilting his head. "I'll let your stupidness slide and won't tell Jeremy."

"What would he do?", Sirius laughed. "Put me to sleep on the couch? The man loves me too much for tha', he cannt dream of sleepin' withou' me. Ye know, I'm actually pretty good to hug and..."

"I really don't need to know how's your love life. Shut your trap before I change my mind and have meeting the Cat o' Nine."

"Did you also do that to your men in the army?" Sirius teased, smug. "Did they know what a Cat o' Nine was? Is the cool and collected Cap'n Finnegan loosing his composure? Would yer men be proud?"

"No they fuckin' didn't because they weren't smatasses like you, shark bait! And, in fact, I think they would've begged me to put your down, dog."

"Ohhh, shiver me timbers! Ye'll have to stop hangin' the jib, matey!"

Sam frowned. He sure did want to shove Sirius down the plank.

Sirius saw this as a win. Making Sam unconfortable was one of his favorite past times, anyway.

He dropped the lantern off with Hydra's stuff before going up to the Captain's Cabin. The door was unlocked, so he saw himself right in, as usual, but found Jeremy was not there. Instead, was Michael, sitting in bed, reading a book.

The room was big and confortable - way more so than the lower deck stuffed with hammocks and snores all night long. Sirius smiled as he walked up to Micah, crawling into bed and letting himself fall just close enough to the other man so he would notice.

"Hey, darlin'", Michael smiled, closing the book before giving Sirius all his attention. "Are you alright?"

"Jus'... thinkin'."

"You don't do that often". Michael began playing with the other's hair, waiting to see if he had anything more to say. "What is fillin' yer mind, hearty?"

Sirius couldn't help himself - Micah was so sweet and welcoming, it always made him spill whatever he was holding in mind.

He spoke about how Hydra was acting weird, spoke about his fear for the crew's well being, about Athena's lack of awareness about how Jeremy wanted to shove her down the sea and never let her back up again... all the things he could think of, he spoke about. Spoke about his day, about the beach, about the lantern, about Peggy and about another thousand things.

And Micah heard every word, without interrupting his partner. He just stared into Sirius pretty face, making braids in his long hair while listening. After all was over, then it was time for him to speak.

"I understand you. I also feel like things are rough those last couple of months... it's not our fault, you know?" He tried to tell Sirius, but his own words were lacking the confidence to say it. "It's just what happens when people are stuck together for so long."

Sirius nodded, letting himself relax a bit more under Micah's touch.

"I fear it's actually a response to... whate'er Hydra's been going thru, ye know?" He admited.

"How so?"

"Ye know... she's a Family Goddess. Ye remembe' how when Rod's mom was sick and spring was all fucked up 'cuz of tha'? It's like somethin' like tha' is happenin' to us."

"Go on...?" Michael was actually curious to hear Sirius' theory.

"Maybe Hydra's crisis is wha' is givin' fuel to all those fights? Like... I can't explain but we're family and... kind of... she may be messin' with our bonds withou' noticin'" he said, confused at his own words. "Jus' think 'bout it... doesn't tha' make sense?"

"It does." It wasn't Michael who answered, but Jeremy, who was just quietly listening to their talk. He caught both in surprise, waving while making his way to sit at the bed with them. "Sirius has a good point. That may be the cause of the problem."

"Good, it means I'm the smartest of us now?" He smiled at the Captain, who could only laugh.

"Nah, I think that title stays with Micah."

"Thank you, love." The lycanthrope smiled. "Sirius is right, tho. Maybe Hydra really is havin' trouble and accidentaly lettin' it off on us. We should help her..."

"To be honest, she's already helping herself." Sirius said. "Maybe I should ask her to stay with us the Holiday? Maybe I can make her do it..."

"She loves you. Can't see her saying no to this pretty face." Jeremy winked at him, making Sirius blush and giggle under his breath.

"He's right. She'd be a cold heartless wench to say no to you. I could never!" Micah laughed, which make the other blush even harder.

"Oh, dear. I'll never get used to you two."

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#normal sibling interaction #as one does #and PEEEEEEGGY #SHE IS INDEED GETTING HERSELF INTO SITUATIONS ONCE AGAIN #bless this dog #oc #original story #🥨🪶

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