#pro-bee liveblogs NCIS

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Mark Harmon’s voice has never been that high-pitched or squeaky ever on this show lmao

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Me: OK I’m bored now

*Fornell kicks Gibbs in the nuts*

ok you have my attention now

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Gibbs “whoop whooping” for Emily is too fucking adorable.

Also, I don’t know what they did with the makeup (I think it’s the dark berry coloured lipstick) but the actress who plays her look so much more like Diane it’s crazy.

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McGee and Delilah are equally matched in nerdom and sass I love them

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stop gibbs and jack are star-crossed this is gonna be so sad when it blows up

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Also yes I absolutely got the “Clarence” reference, Show

WE GET IT HE’S THEIR RELATIONSHIP GUARDIAN ANGEL

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YAAAAAS CLARENCE MY DUDE

EVERY TIME A BAD GUY DIES AN EX-MARINE GETS HIS WINGS

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the dude faked his own death lmao

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also we all know the not dead dude’s girlfriend is the bad guy right*

*i’m a few minutes behind so don’t tell me i’m right but i’m right right?

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It’s 2020 (2019 in show time) and Ziva and Tony are iMessaging each other and leaving voicemails or whatever and I’m--

😭

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ZIVA TALKING ABOUT HER BABY

THE WAY HER FACE LIGHTS UP WHEN SHE TALKS ABOUT TALI

About how Tali picked the necklace out

but then she wanted her mom to wear it because it was pretty

“Whenever I held her, she would take it between her little fingers, and she would smile.”

GODDAMN

LOOK AT IMA!ZIVA

TALI IS ZIVA’S WHOLE WORLD.

God, in that one take, you can see that Ziva finally found her peace with Tali. That she was so proud of her little girl, and delighted by her.

Like, I knew that we’d be seeing Fierce Ziva when it came to her child... But like, I still couldn’t really grasp it, because it had been so long, you know? But they did so much with just that one scene. It tells you everything you need to know -- how happy she was with Tali, how much she misses her, how terrified she is.

Also, no wonder Tali was so drawn to Ziva’s other necklace that Tony had. Because she already knows that necklace = Ima.

RIGHT IN THE FEELS.

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WAIT A MINUTE

IN THE FLASHBACK

THEY’RE IN THE CABIN

And it’s right after the fire

Adam tells Ziva that they bought it, they all believe she’s dead, it worked. 

SO

Does this mean Ziva brought Tali to DC with Orli back in “Family First”?

She was in DC during “Family First”?

THERE ARE THEORIES MY FRIENDS

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“He knows. Wanna talk to him?”

LMAAAAO ZIVA IS SUCH A FUCKING CHILD

HER FUCKING FACE

“She’s here. She says hi.”

HER SNOTTY FACE

I LOVE IT

Ziva David, nearly 40, who has been to war and been a captive and been a cop and diffused terrorist plots and saved the world from bad guys...

Turns into a bratty teenage girl with her sassy surrogate dad.

I DIDN’T KNOW HOW MUCH I NEEDED THIS UNTIL I GOT IT.

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“STOP THE MEN’S ROOM STUFF, I’M COMING IN!!!”

“Alright Bishop, you really need to stop busting in here begging me to forgive you, okay?” “That’s not why I’m here, I’m not asking for forgiveness, I stand by what I did. I just need you to understand it.” “Okay, seriously, somebody’s gonna call HR. That may even be me.”

I LOVE HER.

Oh Tim.

Hehe.

There is no privacy in this men’s room.

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“I do not have all the answers, McGee” “So come with me, to NCIS, and we’ll answer them together.” “I’m not so sure I’m ready to take that step, but--” “Sure you are, come on.” “No, you don’t understand, it’s not--” “You’re right, I don’t understand. But whatever you think of us, we still think of you as family. Ziva, come home. Come home.”

OH MY GOD MY FEEELINGS

First: whoever of you picked out the parallels between this scene and the scene in the orchard in PPF, good job and also you are the worst.

It really is striking how they mirror each other. 

Tony trying to convince Ziva to come back to DC vs. McGee trying to convince her to come back to NCIS.

Tony reassuring her that whatever she wants to do, he can do it with her vs. McGee saying that no matter what, they will be by her side as family.

Tony asking her to come home with him vs. McGee asking her to come home.

It’s just... brilliant, in an awful way.

But this part hurts so much.

(And really, I wonder how much McGee knows about what happened in Israel, long after the fact. If Tony ever eventually let it slip, in some grief-fuelled heart-to-heart with McGee, about what went down there. If McGee couldn’t help his curiosity and asked him if he really didn’t know, what could possibly have driven Ziva to keep this from them, and all he could tell him was that he gave it his everything to bring her home but that it was ultimately her choice not to... Anyway that’s awful.)

It makes me sad for McGee. How he feels like, well, maybe Ziva doesn’t love us as much as we love her, but we do love her, and we’re going to show her that even if she doesn’t love us back the same way. Which we know isn’t true, and Ziva’s face says everything. Like she’s stricken that McGee would think that (”whatever you think of us”, as if she wouldn’t still think the world of them, him especially), that that is what his takeaway is from her absence. 

And then the implications of him saying that, whatever you think, we still love you and want you. Because Ziva has seldom heard that in her life, and probably even less so in the years she’s been in hiding, and here is her friend, who thinks she’s forgotten about him, still welcoming her back with open arms and telling her that whatever she’s done, it’s water under the bridge. That’s a lot of heart happening right there.

Plus knowing Ziva, she probably feels a bit guilty for that too, because she’s been so focused on the threat on her life and the consequences on Tony and Tali, but she didn’t really grasp how it would affect her friends, yet here we are. Sweet McGee, who just wants his friend back, regardless of what she’s done or will do. That he will stand by her no matter what, without knowing where she’s been or what she’s done.

Of course, McGee begging her to come home just stings, because we all jump immediately to Tony doing the same six years ago, and just like then, Ziva takes it all in and considers it.

Except, as we are about to find out, unlike then, Ziva actually follows through and takes the path not taken. Because maybe this time coming home will actually lead to her home.

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*gulp* The confrontation scene

We had to have known something like this was coming, Because Ziva always ends up snapping at some point.

And Gibbs’ snark about “apparently I miss things sometimes” just drives her over the fucking edge.

He’s not wrong to tell her that she was dead and under normal circumstances, when you are told someone is dead, you tend to believe it. 

But I fucking LOVE that Ziva throws it back in his face with, “Did they ever find a body?!” Rule #1 of crime solving: no body, no murder. It’s something so basic that they probably all learn on the first day of probie school -- i mean, in their context, that’s probably more like ‘if a criminal completely destroys a body then we can’t prosecute them’ -- but in their context, that’s usually a sign that something is amiss. Because that was probably by design and was her very first clue to him (and Tony) that she wasn’t dead and was in hiding, because ordinarily their skepticism and pursuit of justice would trigger their spidey senses about that immediately. 

And that’s when it all comes gushing out of her.

About how she was “dead” but as soon as she heard that he and McGee were missing in Paraguay, she rushed over there to find out what happened. (Aside: What was Paraguay about? That was after my time. Did it have a mysterious ending?) That that is how she got that scar on her wrist -- by fighting the monsters who were after him, even after he was rescued, to make sure he was still safe. (Also: the helicopter beat her by just an hour?! Man, we could have had Ziva back on screen years ago? lol.)

“That is what you do for the people you love! That is what you do for family!” 

Oh, Ziva.

Like with everything in this episode, everything is just so raw for her. Precisely because she loves them all so much, especially Gibbs. That he never stopped being her family, but she feels like she stopped being his. She risked everything -- her cover, her safety, her own life -- to save his. And still, it seems to her he didn’t care.

“What did you do for me? NOTHING! You couldn’t even hope that I was still alive.”

Oh, Ziva.

It comes down to this: she was alone. In a hell of her own making, sure, but she was alone, and scared, and sad, and for the first time in nearly a decade, no one came to help. Even when she could go off and help others, she felt like she didn’t get that love back, and that’s what stings the most. To feel like your love is conditional, that it is not returned, that it is not worthy. She battled a lifetime of feeling that way with her blood family, and she felt like her work family broke that cycle. We know the difference, obviously, but Ziva can’t right now, because she’s still in the middle of her trauma. I’d think that years from now, she might look back on this and gain a little perspective, like yeah, Gibbs should have picked up on it sooner like Tony, but that grief does funny things to your senses and it would have killed him to find out she was gone.

Meanwhile, once Gibbs learns of this new revelation, he looks like the wind gets knocked out of his sails -- like it’s not enough that she is back from the dead, but that she was looking out for him and trying to rescue him and avenging him. That this situation paralleled hers, but in this case, she never gave up. I think that’s when it really hits him just how hurt she is, and why she is so hurt by his actions (or lack thereof) and why she doesn’t just accept his justification.

There’s nothing quite as hurtful as being a disappointment to someone you love.

This scene was so needed.

(lol @ McGee interrupting all, “did someone say Paraguay?”)

Also: how could Ziva be so underground that no one could know she was alive, but mobile enough to hop on a plane to South America to go save Gibbs and McGee? Either she sucked at being incognito, or Sahar is really fucking dumb that she couldn’t track her while she was travelling internationally and fucking shit up left and right.