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kidrauhlschik · 7 months ago

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Let The World Burn. - I.N. 3

3. Frustrations

In the end, he managed to forget that a king is nothing without his queen.

Part 1, 2, & 4 will be linked in the master list above!

Pairings: Jeongin x Reader (and some love triangles among the way.) enemies to lovers, royalty au!

Warnings: ANGST, implied smut, war, aggression, anxiety, depression, death, please let me know if i miss anything... (this was heavily inspired by the song “Let the world burn” by Chris Grey.

Word Count: 2.1K

Life went on as normal. Responsibilities, meetings, and building ties in court. It felt like every day was longer than the last.

Felix took some time off due to personal reasons, but now he was back in full service as your advisor and best friend. It felt great, but you couldn't help but feel distanced from the freckled man.

Bang Chan would always be there when you needed him, it's as if he had abandoned Joengin's side to be there for you. Anytime Felix left you at night to get drunk in his chambers, Chan would keep you company. Humanizing Jeongin in his own way. To you, the king was a ruthless ruler and husband, but to Chan, he was a clueless younger sibling. It was odd and incomprehensible.

One day, months after your wedding, much to your surprise, Jeongin was standing in the middle of your chambers. Dressed in his usual attire. A black suit, golden accents and chains. You have never seen him in casual wear outside of your consummation night. He's only ever seen you as a business partner.

"What are you doing here?"

"Is that a way to address your king?" He stands before you, authoritatively.

"This is how I address anyone who comes into my chambers uninvited." You stand tall as well. Not letting Jeongin make you feel small once again.

"Funny thing, you are staying in my soil, my palace. As far as I am concerned, these are my chambers." He says as he extends his arms in a show of bashfulness.

"As far as I know, this is my soil too. I am the queen. Have you forgotten that, your highness?" You say with a chuckle, almost finding his stance comedic. He hasn't talked to you in months. You'd accepted him as an acquaintance. Now he wants to come into your room to interrogate you, it seemed outrageous to you.

"That." He points at you, before he turns towards your window. "You always do that." His hands rest against the window seal, allowing his weight to rest on his shoulders.

"I am sorry my king, but I am afraid that I am not understanding what you are saying."

You frustrate him. He can’t quite put his feelings into words, but you keep him up at night. He pushes himself off the window in desperation.

"I am saying... That I do not understand how you can be so casual about everything. Despite it all, you stand tall, and stubborn. It truly gets under my skin." His voice slowly gets louder with every word. What he doesn’t say is that the way you switch from innocent and precious, to authoritative and ruthless in the blink of an eye astonishes him. It seems fake, it infuriates him.

"I apologize my king, but I am still clueless as to what is your agenda here."

"STOP!" You take a step back, surprised at his tone.

"You are scared! You are unsure! You are mad! You know how I know this? That’s because that’s what I am going through! I am going absolutely mad. Is this deal not breaking you down the same way it's breaking me?" He runs his hands through his hair, eyes wild.

"Jeongin..."

"How can you be so strong despite the circumstances? Why the hell are you always so happy and chirpy? The world is harsh, and I know that you are aware of that. I’ve seen you with your claws out." He grabs a glass from your table and fills it with the pitcher of wine next to it.

"If all hope dies, then why should I continue living?" You tilt your head while looking at him.

"That's what I mean! You are so foolish. The world isn't made of hope. This world is based on strength. Only the strongest survive." He takes the a swig from the glass of wine. “I don’t want to keep hearing your bullshit! You go on your little act of fairy godmother to the people and then you turn around and make commands in court, and if something doesn’t go your way, you throw a damn tantrum until you get your way. It never makes sense.”

"Sometimes the weakest people win from hope, When you have nothing, there is nothing to lose. Do not underestimate that my king. Also, do not make any assumptions on my character based on what you see in court, you do not know me. I am strong for the sake of my people, it is not an act." You say as you try to guide the wine glass down from his hand, but instead he gathers anger and throws the glass to the nearest wall, causing you to jump when it makes impact.

"How?" His eyes search the ground, at a loss, hoping to find some answers in his own brain. Now it made sense, the king had been drinking. You don’t know him enough to realize it at first, but now you can see. His hair out of place, his eyes glassy, and his usual calm and controlled demeanor is nowhere to be seen.

Feeling bold, you approach him, only a couple of inches away from his face. "Maybe I am foolish, but I would much rather be foolish and confident in a world of tyrants that think they know it all. The higher you stand, the bigger the fall. Do not forget that my king." You say as you leave him in your chambers.

After seeing Jeongin in your room, you opted for your safe space, the garden.

Just as you were about to reach the doors leading you to the west side of the palace, you encounter one of your ladies, Rose.

You expected to just curtuoly nod at her, but the second she saw you, she stopped in her tracks. "Your highness." Is all she said.

"Rose?" You responded without turning around as you passed her.

"What are your intentions in court?"

"I am sorry?" You've always been kind to those of lower class, treating them as equals. However, as a princess, you learned very quickly when someone undermines you. Their tone is more aggressive, demanding, and authoritative. The only people that you allow to speak with you in such way, are your own parents, but that was when you were still a princess under their rule. As a queen, it would take pure imurdinance for someone to speak to you in such way.

Yet, Rose stands before you, with the imprudienty of no other.

"Stop acting clueless. You came here trying to stir up the diplomacy at court. We have a way of doing things here and you think you have a right to change them?”

You finally turn to her, "I have every right to change what I please. I am your queen.”

Rose lets out a humorless chuckle, "You may be the queen but you are not my queen."

You wondered if she was stupid or just insane.

Taken aback, you respond, "I beg your pardon?"

"Don't play coy, your mind games are getting to the king," that surprises you. "He won't shut up about you. Always ranting over your tantrums and schemes. You make him seem small and weak. A king does not listen to a woman."

"I am not just a woman, should I repeat myself? I am the queen. He has no choice but to listen to me if he means for this alliance to work. Either way, this is none of your concern. You are my lady, what right do you think you have in this manner?" You approach her, standing a foot away from her now. Although you stand tall and straight, she seems to match your energy. Proud and strong.

"I have a right, despite your beliefs. I am the king's mistress." It catches you off guard. Sure, you knew that Jeongin has never loved you, or even liked you, but you thought that he had enough respect for you as a royal to at least be faithful to you.

How foolish.

"Oh." Is all you can say.

"You may be the ruler of the country, but I am the ruler of his heart. your highness. He cares for you out of convenience, if you could even call it that. Just be aware, that I can see through you. You are a stranger in this court, and once I can get rid of you, you will be gone in the blink of an eye." She says with a smirk.

You raise your hand ready to strike her, but she stops your hand by holding your wrist mere inches away from her face.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. The king is rather protective over me. Be aware that he has told me that he will choose me before his rights as a first born, tread carefully queen YN." She throws your hand to the side and turns quickly to walk away.

At her words, you take a second to watch her walk away, "You as well, lady Rose."

You only told Felix about what happened with Rose. He tried to convince you to tell the king, but you knew he wouldn't be on your side, especially after seeing how bold his mistress was.

The word, mistress, hurt you. You should have expected it, but the glass in your world seemed to crack a bit more.

"YN, I just want you to be happy." The blonde haired man says to you.

"I know Felix, but realistically, can you see me happy here? The more I think about it, I'm going to live a life of misery next to Jeongin."

"You knew this YN." He is sitting on your bed, trying to console you.

"I don't know what I knew Felix. I thought I had something here. I thought I had pride, I thought I had dignity. Turns out, I am nothing. I am a queen by name. The king only agrees to my terms because he needs my troops. Otherwise, my country would be bare to the rest of the world. I truly don't know what to do." You sit next to him on your bed, tears streaming down your face.

"Hey hey," He holds your hand and looks into your eyes. "You are strong, you're a benevolent queen, you are respected, you do not need an immature king to acknowledge you." Felix wipes your tears away with his left hand, as his right hand hold yours. "You know I will always be here for you." In between sobs, you hold eye contact with your best friend.

Has he always been so handsome? So ethereal that his glossy eyes are enough to mesmerize you? His face, is kind, and beautiful, it's bewildering that you've never noticed that before.

If the king can have a lover, the thought of one crosses your mind.

"Felix?" Your face, inches away from his.

"Yes? Your highness?" You smile at his words, always so light hearted.

"Do you love me?" His heart stops before he could collect himself.

"Of course I do my queen." He says with no hesitation.

Your free hand reaches his face with affection, "No Felix. I am not asking you if you love me as a queen, but as a woman. You are loyal and handsome, maybe I am foolish to think that you may like me as anything other than a friend, but maybe I am feeling bold. Do you think we could be-"

Before you can finish your sentence, your chamber doors fly open.

"Where the hell is the new queen?" His voice booms through the room as if it was amplified.

You and Felix jump away from each other, the moment gone before it began.

You look towards the source of disruption, first with concern but the second your eyes lock with his, your harsh demeanor falls.

"Minho!" You shout as you run to the older mans arms, leaving Felix behind.

"Hey princess..." He whispers softly to you, "How's it been?" In response you only hold him tighter.

After collecting himself, Felix stands as well, "Isn't it rude to ignore your comrade?" He says with his arms crossed against his chest, feigning sadness.

Minho let's you go after a bit while rolling his eyes, "Yeah whatever yongbok, I missed you too."

He goes to give a hearty hug to Felix. "Nice to see you man."

"I've missed you."

Minho breaks the hug first, "Damn, it's been less than a year, why are the two of you acting so sad and proper?"

Both you and Felix look at each other before you respond, "It's been a hell of a year Min."

AN: Okay only two chapters left unless I make it a really long one. This was supposed to be the long one, but I worked 60+ hours this week - i did my best :/

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