#prime sonic internally: haha funny new accent go brr

[fleetsonourgecentral]

Alright, so I absolutely adore your blog, this is a ship I never before knew I needed but will now hold onto with my gremlin hands for dear life. I do have a request if you don’t mind: I think it would be hilarious if Scourge not only picks up on all the new swear words and rude gesture of Fleetway Sonic’s Zone, but also starts talking with a bit of a British accent (which he’ll deny until his very last breath). What if he somehow has a run-in with either the Prime Zone FF or his old team? How would they react? Thank you and have an amazing week!

I saw this ask, thought about the prompt for approximately three seconds, and immediately started stimming bc I love this so much. Welcome to rarepair hell! I'd give you a welcome jacket but our budget is tight this year, so I hope answering your request will be suitable compensation

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To say that Scourge was pissed was an understatement to say the least.

Random warp portals weren't common in Sonic's dimension, and when they did appear most of them led to the Special Zone or, in rarer cases, that weird mirror dimension Sonic told him about. Very, very occasionally, one would open to the Cosmic Highway, but it happened so infrequently that by the time one finally manifested for the first time since Scourge got stuck in the new dimension, neither he nor Sonic were interested in him leaving.

But the universe - or, more specifically, the multiverse - had it out for him, so of course one opened right under his fucking feet when he and Sonic were play fighting sparring.

And of course it dropped him into the fucking Prime universe, because fuck Scourge the Hedgehog and his desire to stay a billion miles away from one of the most irritating dimensions he had ever had the displeasure of being in.

So yeah, pissed off was an understatement.

The only upside to getting dumped in the Prime universe was it was much easier to get onto the Cosmic Highway. From there all Scourge had to do was avoid the cops as he made his way back; although he had no intention of leaving permanently, he had left Sonic's dimension before, albeit mostly out of necessity to avoid the Zone Cops, so he knew how to get back. Apparently it was much easier to get in than it was to get out. Not surprising considering it was the home dimension for a destructive being made of corrupted chaos energy.

Still, it meant Scourge had to breathe the same air as the Prime mobians, so already his day was ruined.

"Stupid warp portals," Scourge muttered, kicking a nearby tree as he walked. "Fucking ruining my damn day, dumping me in this shitty perfect dimension with their shitty angelic hero, of fucking course this happens to me, let's fuck over Scourge's day by making him sneak around in a universe he doesn't even want to be in. What's next? Running into the Freedom-"

"Scourge?"

... Him and his big fucking mouth.

"Fuck off," Scourge snarled at Prime without bothering to turn around. "I'm not here for you."

"Never expected you to be back so soon," Prime grinned, intercepting Scourge's path. The words were casual, and to an outsider he seemed relaxed, but Scourge could see the tension in his shoulders and the way he was coiled to spring into a fight. "I thought you'd need at least six more months to lick your wounds, but hey, if you're that eager to get your ass handed to you again-"

"I said fuck off." See, that was exactly why Scourge couldn't fucking stand Prime. He always waltzed around acting like a hero, pretending to be some kind of fucking angel, when deep down he was no better than Scourge. Beating robots and "bad guys" into the dirt one minute, smiling innocently at his friends the next like he didn't just enjoy kicking the shit out of someone. He was just so fake and he somehow got a perfect life for it. And then he wondered why Scourge wanted to punch him until he'd dragged all the nasty shit Prime pretended didn't exist to the surface for everyone to see.

Actually, everyone would still probably ignore and excuse all the nasty shit. Because Prime was perfect and a hero and could do no wrong, and he always had people on his side in the end. Fuck, why did Scourge ever want to take over this shitty little dimension? Everyone would piss him off in five minutes with their hero worship, and no amount of beating them into submission would make him feel better. No fucking wonder he preferred Sonic's dimension. Sonic was an ass, but at least he didn't hide it, and his fans just had to get over it. The hero worship was still annoying, but nowhere near as bad as the Prime dimension.

"So you can cause trouble the second my back's turned? Yeah, I'll pass."

Don't punch him, Scourge. If you punch him you'll be stuck in this dimension longer, and then the cops could show up, and there's no team to bail your ass out. Don't fucking punch him, no matter how much he deserves it.

"I don't even want be here" Scourge hissed, balling his hand into a fist. Fuck, he hoped there was a mission or fight going on when he got back, because he really needed to punch something. Sonic would probably help him find a fight if there wasn't one already; it had been too quiet recently, and he was itching for trouble and excitement. "Some shitty portal dumped me here, okay? It was a fucking accident. I don't have any plans or plots this time. I just want to get out and go home."

"Yeah? Where's home? I know you've not been in Moebius."

"None of your business!" Fucking Zonic the Zone Snitch. "I'm not fucking doing anything wrong, so just piss off and let me get out of your shitty little dimension so I can-"

Scourge cut himself off. Prime had stopped grinning sharply at him. Although he was still on guard, his face had relaxed slightly, and he was tilting his head and staring at Scourge like he was trying to figure out a puzzle.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"The fuck do you mean nothing? What are you staring at me for!"

"Nothing. I just... I didn't know you have an accent."

... What?

"The fuck are you talking about? I don't have an accent." Sure, hearing his own accent come from someone else again after so long in Sonic's dimension was a little weird, but Scourge's accent never changed. Sonic would never let him live it down if it had.

But Prime was shaking his head and pointing at him. "Yeah, see, right there when you said 'fuck'. You said it different."

"No I didn't! I don't say anything different!"

"You do! Sometimes, at least. It's faint, but sometimes random words just have a little bit of an accent." He frowned at Scourge. "Where did you say you were staying, again?"

"Like I'd tell you." Trying to distract him with the accent bullshit so he'd give up his hiding place, huh? That was almost clever. Almost. Unfortunately for Prime, Sonic was way smarter, and it hadn't taken Scourge long to pick up on a few of his tricks. "Look, just because you expect weird shit to happen to people every other Tuesday-"

Scourge slapped his hand over his mouth the second the words came out, but it was too late. The mistake was made, and Prime's confused expression morphed into one of delight.

"Chewsday?"

"Shut up!" That was it. He wasn't going to look for a fight when he got back, he was going to wring Sonic's fucking neck. This was not happening to him. Not Tuesday, of all words, after all that time following Sonic around and mockingly repeating it's chewsday, innit. "Not one fucking word, Prime, I swear to fuck-"

"Say it again," Prime demanded, leaning in uncomfortably close.

"Get the fuck away from me-"

"Come on, say it again!"

Scourge grit his teeth and tried to dart around Prime, but Prime leapt on him, pinning him to the ground with a disturbing sparkle in his eyes.

"Get off me!"

"Not until you say it again!"

For fucks sake. Was this really what the (ex) King of Moebius had been reduced to?

"Tuesday," he forced out through gritted teeth, correctly.

"No no, that's not how you said it. You said chewsday. Say it again."

"I didn't say shit! You just heard it wrong. It's fucking Tuesday. Now get off of me, you fucking asshole, I-"

"Ass, too! You say ass different, too! You definitely have an accent."

"No the fuck I don't! Even if I did, why would you care?"

Prime shrugged. "I don't. It's just interesting. I like hearing different accents, and I didn't know you have one. I thought everyone on Moebius talks like we do."

"They do! We do!"

"Then where'd you get the accent from?"

Oh no, not fucking likely. Prime couldn't trick him that easily. "Prime. Get the fuck off me. Right now."

"Aww, Prime? What's with the multiverse titles? Surely you don't hate my name that much." Prime's eyes gleamed. "Or do you say Sonic differently, too?"

Scourge glowered up at him. It wasn't that. It was just easier to separate Sonic from all the other Sonics if he didn't use the same name for all of them. Plus Sonic would probably kick him if he tried to call him anything but his name, and it was his dimension, so he was the Sonic that got name privileges.

"I say it like I always do," Scourge said at last. "Now get off. I want out of here and you want me out of here. Keeping me here is lose-lose."

"Then why won't you just use my name?" Prime smirked at him. "C'mon, show me how you say Sonic and I'll let you up. Promise."

Scourge was so, so incredibly tempted to just spit in his face instead. But fuck, he didn't want to start a fight and stay in this dimension longer than he had to. Sonic's universe was 4,242 miles away from his own (roughly, at least; dimensions tended to shift for some reason, so it could easily jump to over 5,000 miles without warning) so it was probably a similar distance from the Prime universe, and although that wasn't far he couldn't run at top speed the whole time without attracting the attention of the Zone Cops. The distance combined with being forced to slow down and be somewhat stealthy already meant he was in for a long journey on the Cosmic Highway, and the last thing he wanted was to get into a fight that would exhaust him and make it take even longer.

"Sonic," he spat out. It felt wrong. This wasn't Sonic. Sonic was in a different universe, probably harassing his friends or kicking ass as he waited for Scourge to drag his ass back. "Sonic, get the fuck off so I can get out of your shitty dimension."

Prime looked a little disappointed - even though he knew how Scourge said his name, damn it - but true to his word he got off, even held out a hand to help Scourge up, which Scourge pointedly ignored. He was still a wanted criminal, after all, there was no way Prime wouldn't take the first opportunity he had to hand him over to the cops.

"Was that so hard?" Prime said as Scourge got up and dusted off his jacket. "Really, I don't see what the big deal is. It's just an accent. I think it sounds kinda cool-"

Scourge punched him in the face as hard as he could and fled.

***

"What took you so long?" Sonic asked when Scourge finally got back hours later. His fur was ruffled and his gloves were dusty like he'd just gotten out of a fight and hadn't had the chance to shower yet. Motherfucker. "What, did you forget you can run at the speed of sound?"

"Shut up," Scourge muttered, deliberately bumping into Sonic so the tea he was holding spilled onto him, and flopped onto the couch, burying his face in the cushions. "I hate you and your stupid accent."

"Suck it up. So where'd you end up?"

Scourge lifted his head. "If you ever have to choose between death or visiting the Prime universe, pull the trigger."

Sonic snorted, lightly thwacking him upside the head. "Dramatic arsehole. That bad?"

"I almost forgot how much of a dick Prime is. Fuck, he's just such a twat, I don't know why people can't see that."

"'Cause they're morons," Sonic said, then paused and grinned down at him. "Hey, you said 'twat' right this time. Looks like you're finally learning."

...

"Son of a bitch!"