#priest!saltbaker

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

(I have no idea if this sent b4 but just in case, here it is again- I'm so sorry 😭)

(I really hope this isn't too bad or anything, and you actually enjoy it- I don't write much like I used to. Tysm once again for letting me write this, and I can gladly send you more if you want!)

Nikita steps up into the hall, xyr nose wrinkled in a disheartened snarl... Xy almost couldn't believe what xy had just been told, what had just been revealed to xyr. Xyr movement is quick, rushed, yet shaky... Xy's nervous, but enraged enough where even their God, himself, couldn't stop xyr.

If he even existed here.

Gent looked up from his book, offering his usual, warm smile, only to falter at the sight of the fuming feline storming right up to him... He held the urge to recoil, as no one typically stepped up to him like this.

The raven furred feline crossed xyr four arms over xyr chests, nostrils flaring before xy recollected xyrself, calming down enough with a heavy sigh. Xyr eyes reopen, silvery lavender irises sharp with slitted pupils, but xy was willing to hear him out... "Sir," xy begins, xyr voice much more bitingly cold than xy intended, "I've been... Informed of something. Something... Desperately in need of your attention."

Gent straightens at that, his brow furrowing with concern, "Niki, dear, there's nothing to fret about here... We're perfectly safe." He attempts to soothe, yet quickly realizes his words only add fuel to xyr internally raging fire.

Xyr tail begins to lash, xyr claws digging into xyr skin... It's taking every ounce of strength to hold xyrself back from swiping at the priest, if xy could even dare to call him that... Nikita flicks a paw, a shimmer of light enveloping it, before a tarot card appears within xyr claws...

The Devil.

The feline holds it up for Gent to see, and watches as his expression turns to horror... Only for him to quickly attempt to hide it. But there's no denying the stiffness to his posture...

"Sir,"

Gent's jaw clenched.

"There's a demon within these halls."

Nikita's expression is eerily calm, as xy lowers the card.

"And I believe I've found it."

for some reason i didnt get the inbox notif but OOOO

[friendlyfatbee]

Nothing says romantic like premarital hand holding in front of a stained glass piece depicting eternal damnation!

*stands on podium with megaphone* @askcannibalsaltbaker THIS IS FOR YOU I think your art is amazing and I like priest!saltbaker (of course all the other au saltbakers are just as cool-) Your poses and expressions in your art look and feel so naturally put together, it makes chef saltbaker more human and investing to the viewer!

*priest!saltbaker isn’t mine, I am not responsible for any deaths caused by or induced by being in close proximity to a demon, please go check askcannibalsaltbaker out!!!

[anijay]

uh have some saltbaker au sketches

first time drawing him actually

feat. Willow

priest!saltbaker belongs to @askcannibalsaltbaker

butcher!saltbaker belongs to @drakattack628

phantom!saltbaker belongs to @doodlesneedsabeer

the phantom one is based of one of my favorite poto memes I am too obsessed with that musical

[crowleycringe]

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

I AM GONNA AAAAAAAAAARHJDHFGJDFHGJSDHF

I AM IMPLODING AND EXPLODING AT THE SAME TIME RGHAGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

he's planning his halloween costume

via @doodlesneedsabeer

via @toastedeggtartlet

via @euphoricandnostalgia

via @surinnitthesecond

@euphoricandnostalgia got me in a mood this morning, thanks all for sharing your neat ideas about funny salt guy

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hiii! Uh..... can you do Bishop (Cuphead DLC) dating headcanons??? I simped for the priest hehe 😅

Hahaha simp /lh

......

As one of the few winners of the King’s Games, Bishop has a lot of respect for you.

Although what sets you apart from the rest is when you doted on him after defeating him in combat, especially when you saw his headless body in actual pain, too. You worried he was badly hurt.

No contender has shown him so much care, and for that he was flattered and caught feelings.

He realizes this when he begins daydreaming of you (just like how Rook daydreams of Guillotine) and thinks to himself ‘oh no-’

The other champions catch on--mainly Knight and the Pawns--and tease him relentlessly until he finally worked up the courage to confess to you in the rose garden.

And you accept! Thank the lord.

Ofc he still has his duties as a bishop, though you sometimes attend his sermons (and try not to get distracted/fall asleep) out of respect. But if you’re not religious you just wander about the kingdom until he’s finished.

Or if the Pawns are being distracting you’ll drag them out of the cathedral like they’re children. Bishop is grateful for that.

The champions rarely visit the town below but for you, he would love to go on dates in the isle! 

Together you’ll take walks by the water or stop by Saltbaker’s bakery to dine and talk about your days.

As long as you don’t go by the side with the snow cult or moonshine mob, you’re golden. Bishop despises Mortimer and that gang of bugs (plus the anteater).

His nicknames for you would be angel, rose, darling, dear. Simple yet sweet.

Everyday, he thanks the lord for blessing him with a wonderful partner like you <3

[hostess-of-horror]

For He Who Snatches

A Cult Leader!Snatcher x Reader Fanfic

Author's Note: This is incredibly inspired by Cult of the Lamb and Priest!Saltbaker by @surinnitthesecond on top of the handsome prince/shadow noodle that is Snatcher. I literally just thought up of this at the end of my shift at work, so I am not wasting any time and just going for it! Also, the reader will be referred to as “you/your/you're” - no gender identity is specified.

@tiramegtoons @lulu-baked-beans @medys-space @hotpinkboots @darkmedolie @lemonbaloni and everyone else who wants to read it!

Content Includes: Religious Cults (duh), Body Horror, “Satanic” Rituals (demonic but fictional, not based on real beliefs), Suggestiveness, Manipulation, and Reader Death

---

Your leader was badly injured, more so than you've ever seen before.

The entire community rushed to his aid. The ones who specialized in medicine wasted no time in patching up his wounds. You followed the healers in the hopes that he would recover without any trouble. As a loyal Subconite, you loved your leader. You trusted him with your life, and how could you not? He was the one who saved you from a meaningless existence, after all. You watched expectantly – worriedly – as he was laid across the makeshift mattress, wincing from the bruises and bloodstained cuts all over his body. To think, your leader journeyed his way through the Subcon Forest, slaying heretics and naysayers, all for you and your brethren.

If only there was something you could do to show him your unconditional gratitude.

You went over to a nearby table pour water into a clay cup. Surely, he must have been thirsty after all of that purging. As you were bringing the cup to your leader, you could not help but notice that he was watching you. It was as if King Midas himself touched his eyes, for they were shining gold. They gleamed underneath ragged, darkened bangs – a deep purple, almost ebony in color. You knew the sermons well: the leader was one of shadow. A mortal vessel brought back to life to spread the word of He Who Snatches. With this immense power, he guides his people into brotherhood, into glory, into salvation. Your leader was blessed. You hoped one day you will be blessed too.

“Thank you...” your leader spoke, his voice strained from pain. Delicately, you helped him raise the cup to his lips. He swallows the water greedily, gasping with every gulp. His thirst quenched, he laid back down. “Thank you...” he said again, breathing heavily, “These wounds... they will heal, but not as much as before. In fact... it is time...” You looked at him with anticipation; what exactly did he mean? “It is time to perform a sacred ritual. One that shall further our cause. Please, my kind friend... Tell the others. We shall gather within the temple at midnight.” You immediately obliged, leaving the shack to alert the community. Soon, everyone was in a frenzied commotion. Cries of the spiritual and devoted filled the air like birds chirping in the wind. Their daily chores became social activities where Subconites joyfully congregated. This lasted for the rest of the waning hours of daytime. Before you knew it, it was time.

You were the first to enter the temple with the rest following behind. There before the rows of benches and behind the skull-adorned podium was the leader. He held himself up by the podium – his injuries were still causing him pain. But his expression showed no weakness, only strength. Strength for his Subconites and for He Who Snatches. As everyone went to their seats, you awaited his latest sermon and his announcement of this ritual. Thoughts flooded your mind. You had no clue as to what ritual, or which ritual, your leader was speaking about earlier ago. But whatever it may be, in the end, you trusted him. You trusted him with your whole life. With a wave of his hands, raising them high above his head, he began his holy speech:

“My dear friends, Subconites of the Forest! It is with great pleasure to tell you all that the heretics – the fools who honor The Witch of Fire and Ice – are no more! Once again we are victorious, and soon we will rise against Her in the name of He Who Snatches! However, the path to triumph is no easy task. As you can all see, I am... physically weakened. I am powerful still, but not for long. In order to continue our fight against The Witch of Fire and Ice, we must commence a sacred ritual. A ritual to appease He Who Snatches and offer the ultimate trade. For my strength as His divine vessel... a soul must be snatched. One of you will be sacrificed, but this is a sacrifice of highest honor. For some of you all, I understand your trepidation – after all, death is mostly permanent. But with death comes a much greater purpose! More so than dedicating our lives and community in worship! Your soul will be one of many that is to come. In fact, this is not a time of mourning! This is a celebratory moment! We should be joyous of whoever shall be the sacrifice! Our souls are what pleases His Holiness; through me, we will all become one with Him. Through me, we are all His Strength.”

With slight struggle, the passionate leader went from his podium to walk among his followers. Everyone patiently watched as he approached them all, exuding an air of kindness. One by one, each Subconite was acknowledged, reassured by his empathetic presence. Some graciously bowed, some kissed his hand in appreciation. Your leader then walked up to you with those beautiful golden eyes. Immediately as you gazed upon his eyes, they shone with interest. A look as if he had found the answer to all his problems. Your heart skipped a beat. Warmth began to rise within your cheeks. With a dramatic flip of his cape, your leader pointed at you with a smile you knew all too well. “You! You, my friend, will be His soul to take!” he exclaimed with feverish rapture, “Come! Come! Let us all gather within the center of the temple! Let the ritual begin!”

You could not believe it. You of all Subconites! Chosen by His vessel as his sacrifice! Oh, what a night – what a joyous night! Your heart raced with such vigor, you thought you were about to faint in your leader's arms. But you did not; no, you didn't! You were awake still. You were not dreaming. You were holding hands with your beloved leader and everyone cheered for you! They cheered for your sacrifice! Instead of death, your mind was filled with thoughts of him. Only him.

And you were going to spend the rest of your life with him.

The candles were lit. The circle was drawn in blood. Hooded Subconites gathered around you and your leader. Strange, alien words echoed throughout the darkened temple, chanting to the beat of a small drum. Your hand still holding his, you marveled at this ritual. You could not be any more happier. “My friend...” your leader whispered to you, “Thank you for offering me water earlier ago. I appreciate it. In fact... Thank you for everything. For being here with me. I promise that your kindness will never be forgotten.” You smiled, tears flowing from your eyes. The chanting continued as your leader raised an ornate dagger from his holster, a sacrificial tool of fine steel and gold. He gently pulls you towards him, making you turn his back towards him. He presses himself against you. You could feel his rising and falling of his chest against your back. You jolt in surprise as he wrapped an arm around your waist, caressing your hip and stomach with a tenderness you never felt before. This closeness between you two was electrifying! Then the cold, steel blade touched your neck, ready for the kill. Subconsciously, as if by nature, you tilted your head back, letting out a comforted sigh. Soon, you and your leader's hearts and breathing were in sync with each other.

“Oh, Great Snatcher! We call to thee!

This soul is yours; soon it will be me!

Come to us and hear our plea!

Come to us and set us free!”

The cut was quick and clean. Your throat, now severed, bled profusely, leaving behind a crimson puddle below. A hand grabbed onto your hair, pulling your head even further, splitting the wound further apart, leaving you gasping and choking. Not that you were going to protest. As your knees buckled, your leader held on to your dying body and clasped his lips against your throat. The pain – oh, the pain – it was exquisite! In life, this was the closest thing to a kiss. As the circle glowed with dark magic and immersed your brethren into a spiritual frenzy, your flesh began to shrink and decay as your leader, your friend, consumed your soul bit by bit.

[lovelyteng]

Cuphead Meme #1: Halloween Costumes (My Version)

Playable Characters Cuphead - Mario (Super Mario Bros.) Mugman - Luigi (Super Mario Bros.) Ms. Chalice (The Legendary Chalice) -  Yumi Yoshimura (Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi)

Bosses Inkwell Isle One (Inkwell Glade) The Root Pack .Sal Spudder - Pineapple .Ollie Bulb - Orange .Chauncey Chantenay - Banana Goopy Le Grande - Zombie Hilda Berg - Wonder Woman (DC Super Hero Girls) Cagney Carnation - Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors) Ribby - Tom (Tom and Jerry) Croaks - Spike (Tom and Jerry)

Inkwell Isle Two (Inkwell Park) Baroness Von Bon Bon - Witch Beppi The Clown - Vampire Djimmi The Great - Mummy Grim Matchstick -  The Hydrac (Balan Wonderworld) Wally Warbles - Zombie

Inkwell Isle Three (Inkwell City) Rumor Honeybottoms - Tatiana (No Straight Roads) Captain Brineybeard - Flying Dutchman (SpongeBob SquarePants) Sally Stageplay - Fallen Angel Werner Werman - Bunnicula (From same name series of character) Automaton (Dr. Kahl’s Robot) - DJ Subatomic Supernova (No Straight Roads) Dr. Kahl - Neon J. (No Straight Roads) Cala Maria - Gothic Singer Phantom Express .Blind Specter - Steward (Luigi’s Mansion 3) .Conductor - Grim Reaper .Lollipop Ghouls - Creepy Twins .Head of the Train - Tough Possessor (Luigi’s Mansion 2: Dark Moon)

Inkwell Isle Four (Inkwell Village) Glumstone The Giant - Ug (Luigi’s Mansion 3) Moonshine Mob .Spider Mobster - Frankenstein’s Monster .Light Bug - Bride of Frankenstein .Anteater - Igor .Announcer Snail - Dr. Victor Frankenstein  The Howling Aces .Pilot Bulldog - Gothic Rocker .Yankee Yippers - Gothic Dancers .Pilot Saluki - Gothic DJ Mortimer Freeze - Ice King (Adventure Time) Esther Winchester - Headless Horseman Chef Saltbaker - Chef Soulfflé (Luigi’s Mansion 3)

The King’s Leap (Chess Bosses) The King of Games - Phantom King The Pawns - Pumpkins The Knight - Plague Doctor The Bishop - Dark Priest The Rook - Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) The Queen - Ghost Queen

Inkwell Hell The Devil - Bowser (Super Mario Bros.) King Dice - King Boo (Luigi’s Mansion Series) Tipsy Troop .Rum Glass - Barrel (The Nightmare Before Christmas) .Martini Glass - Shock (The Nightmare Before Christmas) .Whiskey Bottle - Lock (The Nightmare Before Christmas) Chips Bettigan - Gothic Cowboy Mr. Wheezy - Zombie Pip and Dot - Conjoined Zombie Hopus Pocus - Ghost Magician Phear Lap - Mad Scientist  Pirouletta - Swan Ballerina Mangosteen - Ink Monster Mr. Chimes - Broken Robot

Here Blank Meme!

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

heard y'all like priest sb.... (tw suggestive i think, he just shirtless. also whoopsie that's his true demon form in the last image!)

he got them silly scars from a silly ritual he tried to do on himself to become mortal again but didn't work out quite well... that's his reminder that he failed it.

they are always open and cannot be healed, therefore they always hurt. He is deeply ashamed of them.

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

Hm... Actually, it's been quite a while since I've thought about this story. Would you instead mind a rewrite? I know it's already not even the second part, and you don't have to delete the first thing if you don't want to, but I'm gonna try to make this story more ambiguous.

oh go right ahead! ill leave it up cause i did like the first part if you dont mind :)

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

Hello!! I went on a blog binge and uhh... Maybe sorta got a little fanfic idea. Would you mind if I wrote smth out with my oc and your Priest! Saltbaker? I would be more than happy to send you the end result (or what I've got) if you allow it.

If you have any questions, want to know the plot, or anything in between, I'd be ecstatic to give you details! (Just a little smth smth: I have no idea ifi' wanna make this a romance thing or not bc it's purely suspense in my head rn. 🫠)

Go right ahead! Would love to see what you come up with!

[hostess-of-horror]

OH MY GOD!!!?!!! 💕💕💕

I wasn't expecting this!!!

Every time I see Millie and Saltbaker, I imagine them singing "Have a Little Priest" from Sweeney Todd while having a slow day at the bakery.

Reading this ask threw me straight into animatic mode, so here ya go ig

(it's pretty rushed as one could imagine so it's pretty rough around the edges)

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

y'all still wanna confess to him? (aggressively writes a really short fic about him [i'm not good at writing at all but i am tryinghggjfhjd])

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

HEEELLO EVERYBODY I HAVE BEEN FULLY CONSUMED BY PRIEST SALTBAKER (this is a scene from my fic also drawn by me lmao)

btw i am working on masquerade saltbaker fic ehheahah

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

Just have him

[askcannibalsaltbaker]

*cutely dumps all the saltbaker garbage i haven't posted here*

eldritch!saltbaker (image 3) - @drakattack628

tartbaker (image 1 and 7) - @toastedeggtartlet

cannibal (2 and 6) , masq (5) and priest (4) are my lil guys :]