#priam pitted them against each other and made evander think he was useless

[sealrock]

decembhyur, day 15: childhood

"why can't you be like your brother?" they would bemoan. I heard that line my entire childhood. they always compared me to him, the brat who couldn't talk and would jump at shadows. I couldn't achieve anything without being snubbed by my relatives. my grandfather despised me; I was 'a blight to the family name,' as he so delicately put it. he said many awful things about me, things a child should never hear or internalize. I was nothing. I came from nothing. I will amount to nothing. do not taint your brother with your rot. why couldn't I be like my brother... the golden child who escaped death, so beloved by my mother and stepfather? she was my mother, too. I deserved the same love as him, but she was ashamed of me. everyone rallied around him when he returned unscathed from the tragedy that robbed us of my—our mother. the adults never let him out of their sights after that. my grandfather was quick to take him under his wing... and me, as well. the bastard child. what's so egregious is that I'm also alive. does my battle with this disease not warrant the same kind of praise? of course not, I was supposed to be in the ground long before now, but what keeps me going is pure spite. I told myself as a child, during those hellish days in the manor, that I would prove the old man wrong someday, and all of my enemies would have to eat their words. sad thing is, my enemies are the ones who are supposed to take care of me, to guide me. instead they treated me worse than a dog. there's always something with this family. not that you would understand. you're like my brother. everything always came easy to him. he's a prodigy in everything he touches, and everyone adores him. my grandfather says he was born lucky—I was just lucky to be born. I don't need luck, though. I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong... it's made me who I am.