#previously on: chaotic stupid

[mylesstories]

previously on: chaotic stupid masterlist

• about •

“chapters”: 1, 2, 3, …

characters: marco, caleb, julia, mariana, lucas, leo, noah

[chibieggplant]

Doodles ~ Part 3

Trafalgar Law soulmate au | Imagine a magical connection between you and your soulmate, where everything you write on your arm appears on your soulmate's arm, too.

Part 3/3 | Part One | Part Two

“I…” You could only manage one word at this point; any more words were too hard to get out as you stared at the spot on his arm where the bear doodle previously was. The thought of your soulmate existing was already absurd, and you had long given up on trying to believe. However, this…this was proof. The bear doodle, exact, no room for misinterpretation. You were so shocked you could barely even speak at all as you remained still. All you could do was stare forward as your eyes moved to meet his.

Law looked at you, and as soon as he spotted your shock, he instantly understood what you were feeling. After all, his reaction was the same. Law was practically dumbfounded as the realisation hit him. Yet he also felt like the most idiotic person in the entire world. He never wrote back. Not once. Now that his soulmate was right in front of him, he felt both delighted and upset at himself as he continued to stare at you. He was feeling all kinds of emotions all at once. Joy, shock, fear, and so much more that he couldn’t even think of a name for. He felt so happy, yet so stupid; so relieved yet so scared.

Law couldn’t take his eyes off you despite part of him wanting to run away. He could see you trying to process everything as it came flooding in after years of silence. He felt terrible, awful. At this moment, he felt like an idiot for not writing back to you. His feelings were just as chaotic as yours right now. He could barely believe this was real. He had spent an entire decade telling himself he had no time for his soulmate. That he would only bring you trouble; after all that time, it felt surreal to be standing before you, knowing that fate had bound you together.

Law tried to muster up something to say, but it seemed just as challenging for him to speak as it appeared for you. Yet he needed to say something. There was this entire decade’s worth of conversation he needed to make up for. He tried to move his arms, perhaps to hug or touch you in some way, as he felt the need to show you some physical affection after so long, but it was as if they were frozen in place. The next thing he noticed was a tear started to roll down your cheek. His heart froze in his chest at the sight of the tear running down your face. This was what made him break. He could deal with you looking shocked. He could deal with you staring at him blankly. But seeing your tear just sent a spear through him. His vision was becoming blurrier as tears slowly began to fall from his eyes, too. He was a mess, and he suddenly felt so lucky to meet his soulmate finally. He realised he had wasted an entire decade’s opportunity to talk to you. To spend time with you. As this realisation set in, he wanted nothing more than for you to forgive him.

“W-why didn’t you write back?” your voice was full of emotion, and it was hard for you to manage it enough to get the words out. But it had to be said. Your tears quickly turned into a steady stream flowing down your cheeks as you began to break down in your senses. The floodgates had opened, and all the hurt you had felt, all the sadness you had felt and all the pent-up feelings had just been released. Law couldn’t hold it back anymore. He let out a muffled cry as he rushed forward and hugged you as tightly as he could. Law kept his hold tight around you as he buried his head into your shoulder. Your words hurt him. They really hurt him. He didn't want to give you some lame excuse, but the harder he tried to come up with something, the more he realised that his reason was just plain stupid.

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry…” he said it again and again, his voice slowly becoming even more muffled as he became even more emotional. His heart raced as he remembered all of his own emotions. He was scared. He was scared that you would hate him. Scared that you would never forgive him. Scared to hear your response to his apology. He was scared of…well, a lot of things. He wanted to speak, though; he wanted to explain his stupid behaviour.

Law still couldn’t get the words out, though, as a few more tears streamed down his face. All he could do right now was cling to you as he continued to mutter his apologies. He was scared that you were going to reject him. After a decade of no response, you must despise him. His mind was in a frenzy. It was filled with an ungodly amount of fears and regrets. He hated himself. He should have written back all that time ago. He should have talked to you. He shouldn’t have made you feel so alone. For someone that everyone regarded as intelligent, he felt so stupid. Stupid for not writing back. Stupid for ignoring you. He was foolish for thinking he didn’t have time. Everything just felt so silly and pointless. He was probably the worst soulmate in the entire world. He couldn’t even imagine how much you must hate him for his actions. What a horrible person he was. This is why he never wrote back. He didn't deserve you. He didn't deserve anyone.

Your words sounded broken through muffled sobs as you clung to him and buried your head in his shoulder. “I-i thought you didn’t exist, I-i thought I didn't have anyone…”

Law froze at your words as they hit him like another spear to the heart. The years of silence, the years of false hope. All that wasted time. He was fully aware that he had been thoughtless by disregarding your emotions. But hearing you say it just broke his heart even more. He squeezed you tightly as he tried to suppress his pain. “I’m so sorry…I-”

He was an idiot. He shouldn’t have let this go on so long. He shouldn’t have been so stupid. He should have just listened to his heart and written back. He didn’t want to admit it, but he loved your silly doodles. But he was afraid. He was scared of rejection and convinced that no one could love him. “Please forgive me…I…I…” Law could barely finish. He prayed to every possible god that you could forgive him for his stupidity. He continued to sob into your shoulder, squeezing you as tightly as he could as he repeated his apology. He hoped to god that there was still a chance at forgiveness. He prayed that you could forgive him. Because right now, he could barely stand for how much of an idiot he had been. All this time, he had thought you would be better off without him, so he never wrote back, but all he had done was sabotage himself. He had deprived himself of years' worth of conversations. Years worth of love.

“…I was so afraid you’d hate me, t-that I was…” Law choked out as the last words left his mouth. All the guilt all of the regret came crashing down over him. He felt weak. He felt so damn…stupid. This whole time, he had convinced himself that he was okay with being apart from you. That all of this didn’t matter to him. But at this moment, his whole world came crashing down. You were real. You were his soulmate. And he had made a fool out of himself by avoiding you all these years. He felt sick. He had lost an entire decade of potential happiness all because he was an idiotic, scared little brat. But now, you were real. You were real and in his arms.

“I thought…that I was too broken. I thought that there was no way that you could ever love someone like me. And I was so…” Law broke down again, finally saying the words he had been dying to say all this time. Words he had been denying for a very long time. “I just thought you would deserve someone so much…better…I’d bring you trouble” Law’s grip loosened up slightly, but his arms still wrapped tightly around you as he continued to bury his face into your shoulder. “I…I thought that I didn’t deserve you. I…I‘m not a good person. So, I thought I was doing both of us a favour by not…not writing back. I was going to protect you from myself” He could barely manage to get the words out as fresh tears streamed down his face. It might have seemed like a weak excuse, but it was the truth.

“I-I know I've been the world's biggest idiot, but…the longer I avoided it, the harder it was to write anything. I didn’t even know how I could face you after…after all of this time. I was scared of what you’d say. I thought you’d probably hate-“ His breath hitched. He hated that he had been so afraid. He regretted that he had not given you a chance. He was now aware that as a consequence of this, he might end up losing something he never got the opportunity even to experience.

“It’s okay…” you suddenly said as you held back any more tears, interrupting the torrent of words about to erupt from Law’s mouth. You paused momentarily and leaned back to meet his gaze as you spoke. “It’s okay…you’re here now.”

Law froze as you interrupted him, and those two simple words hit him like a brick to the head. He had been so scared and so worried but...it was okay? You didn’t hate him-no you forgave him. You had found it in you to forgive him even though he had kept away from you for years. Even though he was the one who refused to write you even a single word, you had forgiven him? It was unbelievable. You were still standing there, holding onto him as tightly as he was holding onto you. Law didn't understand. He held onto you with the same intensity, trying to take in the weight of your forgiveness. He was utterly flabbergasted, he shouldn’t have been this surprised. You were just that type of person, you just forgave, and you just accepted. You were a genuine, good person to the very core. It was too much for Law though. He was used to harsh words, not forgiveness. He was used to being hated by most people and not being accepted. He found it difficult to cope with the situation.

Law’s grip loosened slightly, and he began to sob harder. He felt weak, and this was the most weak he had felt in a long time. He was supposed to be strong, but now he was breaking down. He was supposed to be able to take on all of this stress, but he couldn’t. He had no control, and he despised it. “H-how can you?…”Law’s lips were trembling as he tried to get a proper grasp on himself. He couldn’t believe you had forgiven him. Law was supposed to be some irredeemable, evil bastard, yet here he was, having the kindest, most gentle person he had ever known forgive him. He felt his entire body go limp. Tears were pouring down his face at the sudden onslaught of forgiveness. It just all became too much for him. He had been expecting to be hated, hated for the past decade of silence. But it was forgiveness instead. He felt his heart beat rapidly in his chest as he suddenly tightened his grip on you as hard as he could. “W-why are you being so nice to me? I mean, I don't even deserve your kindness…”

“Shhh…” you whispered as your arms wrapped around him as tight as they could. You weren’t going to let him self-deprecate. He’d spent the last decade hating himself and living in regret. You were going to fix that right here, right now. You were going to make sure that he knew what he deserved. And you were going to start by not letting him say any more bad things about himself.

“H-how can you forgive me…after everything? It’s not fair to you…” Law struggled to hold back his emotions as he attempted to protest.

“Because I have spent years believing that I didn't have a soulmate, and now, you're finally here, and it all feels worth it” You gave him a gentle smile as you pulled away slightly and wiped away the last of your tears. You felt like this moment was surreal, and the thought of rejecting him had never even crossed your mind. He was your soulmate, after all.

Law pulled back slightly too, his gaze fixed on you. And when he saw your smile, he felt warmth wash over him. His heartbeat slowed, and he finally felt he could breathe properly again. So this was it. He had finally found what he had been missing all this time - a person whom he could honestly care for and who reciprocated that same level of care. It was more than just a soulmate; it was a connection that had been absent from his life until now. He never even imagined this feeling. It was truly something else. And yet…he spent a decade afraid of this. He spent over a decade avoiding this feeling. He spent so much time, a decade's worth of time, just avoiding something that he always wanted despite telling himself the very concept was absurd. It was unbelievable, and it was downright moronic. But now here he was, with his soulmate. He was so happy, but at the same time, just so full of regret. But he didn’t want to focus on the past anymore. He spent enough time being alone. All that mattered was now.

Law slowly loosened up as his grip on you also loosened. He let out a deep, long sigh. he felt tired, but in the best way possible. It had been so long since he had felt this calm, this…serenity. His heart rate was finally stabilising, and though his breathing was still heavy, he was finally recovering. He took a gentle hold of your hand. He looked into your eyes and smiled. Law was finally done with it; he was finally done with letting the past rule him. He was finally done with letting his insecurities control him, and he was finally done letting the fear of others influence his every action. With this realisation came an entirely genuine smile. He had never really given much thought to his expression, but now it was the most genuine smile he had ever worn. It wasn't fake or forced. It was his natural smile, and he was finally free to let that be. The wave of relief and catharsis he had felt washed over him. It was the best feeling in the entire world...

Law continued to stare into your eyes as he lightly squeezed her hand. He felt at peace. At peace with himself, and at peace with life. Life didn't seem so cruel anymore, and neither did he. He was ready for anything life threw at him now. He just needed to know that you would stick around with him through all of it. Law gently squeezed your hand one more time before he spoke. He was never usually the talkative or the emotional type, but this whole interaction had brought those qualities straight to the surface. Now, he didn't mind talking just a bit more. He wanted to. “y/n…I…I have to ask…”

You smiled and nodded your head reassuringly. There was nothing he could say that would be off-limits. Law could ask you anything he wanted to ask. You had to know his heart before you went any further, right?

He looked you in the eyes as he took a deep breath before continuing. “y/n, could…could you really learn to love me despite all of this? Despite all of the stupid, idiotic actions I've made?” Law was almost afraid of the answer you might give. Would you still care about him if you knew even half the horrible things he had done? And what about everything else about him? What about his past? His personality? His actions? Everything about him was a mess. But…you were his soulmate, weren't you? So, if anyone had the potential to love him for who he was, it would be you.

You already knew the answer to his question, but you took a moment to consider the most effective way to express it. Eventually, you just decided to answer with complete honesty. “…I’ve been waiting years to speak to you. Years to find out who you are…wondering what you look like, what kind of person you are, what your favourite foods are, if you prefer morning or night…” you softly chuckled. “And I would love nothing more than to get to know every little thing about you….” Gently, you whispered your final words, and a faint rosy hue appeared on your cheeks “to fall in love with you…”

Your answer made him smile, and his grip on your hand tightened just the slightest bit. Your words were reassuring, but at the same time, he expected nothing else coming from you. It was a comforting feeling, knowing that someone accepted him. Someone who would even go as far as spending time with him to get to know him. To even consider the possibility of loving him. His cheeks blushed as he felt the warmth wash over his face after hearing your words. “…I-I like onigiri…and I’m more of a night owl than a morning person.” Law softly chuckled; he felt silly, and his cheeks were now a light shade of red. This was all so foreign to him, this light...affection...he could almost get used to it. Law's lips slowly began to form a warm smile. He clasped your hand and softly ran his thumb over your skin. He wasn't sure if you could tell, but this was the happiest he had felt in years.

[kombuuuu]

chaotic late night store trips with hobie. like him reaching for things on tall shelves for you, getting lost multiple times to find things, him “borrowing” your favorite snacks for you, just cute couple shit

Late Nights.

Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader

“Love you?” “Don’ sound so sure.”

The jingle of a doorbell interrupted your quiet giggling. The gushing about anything stupid you were doing with your lover getting quieter when the ambience of city streets was lost, stepping inside a large convenience store you and Hobie frequented.

You greeted the store clerk with a loose wave and a sheepish smile, watching as he waved back with a tired smile before Hobie stole your attention again. Crowding over you and slipping a hand around your waist, the level of his tone a whisper when he spoke.

“Stop lookin’ at him. Look a’ me.”

He held a smile on his face, sending it — along with a greeting flick off his fingers— to the store clerk. The attitude contradicting his words.

You grabbed his hand and tugged, walking at a decent speed to the back end of the store, Hobie snickered as you told him off in hushed breath.

“Luv’ it when ya’ demandin’, Babe.”

“Jesus christ Hobie, quiet down!”

—

You had sent him off to go find the laundry detergent. Around 12 minutes ago.

Now he had you going idle by isle, starting at the cleaning supplies — checking every one for the lanky man.

You looked behind the next isle, groaning and snorting to yourself at the man of your subjects. You watched him spin aimlessly in a circle, giving confused looks to the items around him.

He held a large box of laundry powder in his hands, tapping the box rhythmically and bending at the waist. He gave a squint to one of the items and you watched him saunter up next to it, right in front of a worker, and slipped the small item in his sleeve.

He caught a glimpse of you, and winked with a lazy smirk. The sound of your feet tittering against tiled floor alerted the worker of your presence and you gave him an easy smiles, lips forming around a distracting lie as if you had practiced it a million times over.

“Hi! Sorry to bother—,”

“Oh, No stress.” He waved you off and you laughed politely, watching Hobie saunter off, a smug expression on his face.

Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head, a scoff playing just behind your tongue — but you refocused, “I was wondering if you could show me where the honey is?,” You laughed sheepishly, feigning obliviousness. Not like you’ve been here a million times or anything. “,I just don’t know which isle to look in, sorry.”

“Oh, again — It’s no bother, Miss.”

He gave you his customer pleasing smile, and started leading you in the direction of the honey, in isle 7 — he said.

When you caught a glimpse of Hobie with his jumper shucked down from its previously fluffed position, enough to hide the pockets of his sweatpants — you averted your eyes once more.

—

“You sly cunt.”

“I ‘ave no clue what you mean, babe.”

You lightly smacked Hobies chest, giving him a stern glare, though, with your lips twitching up into a smile — it really wasn’t very affective.

He twirled away from your attacks, idling the different confections he could chose from, and you promptly gave him a deadpanned look when he flicked his eyes up to the register. He caught your gaze for a second before smirking when his hands slid around your waist, humming to the random pop song playing through the speakers.

Not his tune exactly, but he’d heard it enough times to know the lyrics.

Indoctrination, probably.

“Oi?”

You turned to scan the items, different cans and bottles of whoever-knows-what being ignored by you, until you reached your favourite.

“Yeah?”

His hands squeezed your waist again, and he moved closer beside you, leaning against you lightly.

“Wh— Hobie, behave.”

“I am—…,”

He rubbed small circles over your hips and pulled you slowly, dragging your body closer to his so you were squished up against him.

You tipped your head up, looking at him above you, and he grinned down at you.

“,Just wan’ t’ warm up, y’kno’?”

“Oh, i’m sure.”

You focused back on the drinks, and when you saw your drink of choice, stacked high above all the others — on the top fucking shelf, you sighed exasperated, knowing Hobie would rather hold that shit over your head until the day he died if you asked for help.

Hobie caught onto where you were looking, his smirk only growing wider.

A low hum left his lips and you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him prettily.

You broke off him, and he let you, watching as you reached to the top, begrudgingly bouncing on your tippy-toes, and huffing when your fingers just grazed the drink.

He chuckled, and you continued — your efforts in vain as you even hopped to try and snatch it.

Hobie just watched you, whistling a short wolf whistle to tease as you tried so hard.

“Need help, sugar?”

“No.”

He snorted, quickly approaching behind you and pressing his form over yours. His hips slot nicely against your own.

When people say you fit perfectly with him, you would smile politely — then roll your eyes the moment they turned. But now? when his chest pressed firmly against your back, and the weight of him settled heavily on yours? You might’ve agreed.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping.”

You glared at the poor coke cam in front of you, taking out your embarrassment on the inn once of an inanimate object, subconsciously apologising to it.

Hobie made sure to push up harder against you, laughing under his breath as he muttered a thinly veiled lie.

“Push’t it back, sorry babe.”

You looked up, watching him graze his fingertips slowly along the bottle of your desire, and cursed the way your heart stuck in your throat when he finally closed his hand over it.

He pushed back casually, slipping away from you with practiced ease, and went to search for his own drink — even going as far as to toss your own in the air, and catch it playfully. Like he was bored.

The dumbfounded expression on your face was wiped the moment you got a hold of yourself, taking sure steps quickly towards your partner, while he pretended not to notice you in his peripherals.

“Hobie - Hobart Brown, you little fuck—,”

“,Sorry, sweethear’, im focusin’ ‘ere.”

“Oh my god—,”

“,Lot a choices, y’kno’.”

“I’m gonna beat your ass.”

“Uhuh,” He flicked your forehead and dodged your retaliating punch with a gleeful grin dawning his features, stupidly pretty fling in his eyes.

“,I’ll be sure t’ lay still, maybe you’ll ‘ave a chance.”

You crossed your arms, tipping your head up at him.

“I’d have a chance either way — you just don’t want to admit it.”

“Oh, sugar — lie t’ me, but not t’ yourself too.”

His tone was a sultry tease, expression a mocking pout — you rolled your eyes, the start of fluster making your face warm to touch.

“I’ve never lied ever.”

He snorted, bent to grab at an item, and paused to give you a look.

You gave him one right back.

“Ever.”

He grinned again, and turned away with a shake of his head.

—

BONUS +

“Hobie? Baby did you get the detergent?”

You tipped your head back from your place in the kitchen, looking over at your lover sitting laid back on the couch, watching whatever chic flick he landed on.

He turned his head towards you, looking at the groceries laid out to be put away.

You watched as his face twitched, a small smile fighting its way onto his lips.

“Hobie.”

“Sugar—“

—

BONUS ++

“And this is supposed to make my face softer?”

“It’s a cleanser, baby. It makes you clean.”

You raised your eyebrows, smiling at the brit.

“Hence the name. Cleanser.”

He slanted his eyes, glaring with an amuse of his own.

“I don’ appreciate your tone, love.”

You rubbed the cleanser in soothing circles along the expanse of his cheeks, admiring his high cheeks and perfect bone structure.

“Mm. Be quiet. Works better if you don’t talk.”

He puffed, slouching closer to you.

—

You grabbed a damp face towel, wiping at his face gently.

“Was tha’ true?”

You looked up from his jaw to his eyes, going to pat the excess water from his face.

“What true?”

“The talkin’ thing.”

You laughed abruptly, choking a bit on your own voice.

“No—,” You spoke through your giggles, watching as his face dropped into one of faux offence.

“,—No, that was the most blatant lie—”

Hobie grabbed the towel straight from your hand, whipping it towards your stomach. You only laughed harder.

“You ass’ole!”

“I’m sorry!”

You snatched the towel back off him grabbing his face in your hands again. He softened into a genuine smile, chuckling softly while you quietened down.

“Love you?” You tried, sheepishly trying to rid the remaining giggles.

“Don’ sound so sure.” He jabbed, tone in a light jest.

You snorted, repeating, with a now renewed definite.

“I love you.”

He softened further, hands caressing over your own, and a loving tremble in his bones.

“Love you too, [Name]”

“…You said that so britishly.”

“Give us one damn moment—.”

—

RAHHHHHH LONGER THAN IT WAS SPOSED T BE

also the art you sent im putting it here

anyone know the artist t this 🤭🤭❓⬇️

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 18)

au masterlist

notes: this is short but i needed it out and i’ve been much too busy to write lately and i’m running on very little sleep and can barely keep my eyes open

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, ehaula, and 428,715 others

y/ndevils00 we’re not back

we are SO not back.

but you know who IS back?! MY SEXY ASS, 22 POINT HAVING, COMEBACK GOAL SCORING, SNACK STEALING BOYFRIEND!!

despite the unfortunate 5-3 loss against the dish rags, we did get a few good goals tonight, starting with one from everyone’s favorite previously injured man, JACK ROWDEN HUGHES!!!

babygirl also assisted on Uncle Haula-hoop’s goal (the third and final Devils goal)! and in between those goals, Pally pocket got a goal!!

however, towards the end of first, we were down by one, and despite my strongly worded advisory, coach bark pulled my main man Vitek and let the rags score an empty netter….

anyways! bestie number 1 was wrongfully accused and jailed in the second— his crime? his flow was too nice. not very jail worthy, but the bald bitch from the other team had it out for him.

goodnight and please enjoy the last couple photos i took of my sassy boy toy during his post-game interview where he couldn’t keep his eyes off me— can’t say i blame him 🤭

tagged jackhughes, pally_18, ehaula, and dawson1417

Load more comments

user93 the red m&m in the 3rd pic is sending me 😭

y/ndevils00 give him some respect! he assisted on that goal!

jackhughes i didn’t realize you were saving the cheez-its!

y/ndevils00 they were my work snack! i need food in order to keep my energy to run around the arena!

jackhughes i give you $30 before every game for you to buy snacks??

y/ndevils00 i prefer to use that money for drinky drinks

lhughes_06 that explains so much

dawson1417 he can’t have my hair!

y/ndevils00 baldy should’ve thought about his flow before he shaved his head! i’ll protect your hair!

john.marino97 and how will you do that?

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 the same way i get rid of all the men in my dm’s— beat ‘em off with a stick!

jackhughes MEN IN YOUR DM’S????

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes oh don’t act so surprised! i’m a catch and everyone knows it!

trevorzegras @/jackhughes damn dude, better get a move on with ‘plan alpha-alpha’ before someone snatches up your girl

user66 i love the jack-centric posts! y/n feeds us 🙏

ehaula did you know there’s other players on the team besides your boyfriend?

y/ndevils00 did you know i don’t care about anyone else?

ehaula trust me, i can tell

y/ndevils00 then why are you asking stupid questions you already know the answer to?

ehaula i’m disowning you

y/ndevils00 you can’t do that!

ehaula pretty sure i can!

y/ndevils00 nuh-uh! tell him @/kristen.haula

kristen.haula you can’t disown our niece, Erik!

y/ndevils00 TOLD YOU! NA-NA-NA BOO BOO!

ehaula i can’t believe you’ve wormed your way into my family and won’t leave

dawson1417 yeah, that’s what happens

john.marino97 my mom calls her the daughter she never had

john.marino97 excuse me, where am i?!

y/ndevils00 idk, your couch?

john.marino97 IN THE POST! where am i IN THE POST!

y/ndevils00 oh, you got no points. do better and maybe you’ll be featured

john.marino97 i tried!

y/ndevils00 so try harder?? idk what to tell you

john.marino97 why am i friends with you

y/ndevils00 because i’m hot and funny and smart?

john.marino97 no, that’s not it

user20 poor dawson in the box 😭

_quinnhughes i’ve missed your chaotic energy! can’t wait to see you soon, Dove!!

y/ndevils00 aww! so excited to see you soon huggy! 🥹🤍

jackhughes not once have you said you can’t wait to see me?

lhughes_06 you’ll see your brothers too??

_quinnhughes @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 okay?

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 i’m lost on what that has to do with me?

lhughes_06 NOTHING! it has NOTHING to do with you!

y/ndevils00 @/lhughes_06 yeah, so it’s irrelevant

nicohischier i hate not playing, but i won’t lie, i love not being on these posts

y/ndevils00 it’s only a matter of time, captain slut!

[forestwitchontheroad]

Billford Analysis!

Chapter two: Bill Cipher and his failed plan of taking advantage of Ford's naivety or the path from pawn to something more.

chapter 1

this chapter will be the smallest since there is no direct data on what our triangle felt and thought during this period of time before his plan was revealed. the main source that I dare to refer to are Bill's quotes in Ford's Journals with his personal notes regarding meetings with Bill, which will have to be deciphered from a loving and sometimes too exalted haze to such a chaotic and cruel creature as Bill Cipher.

at first, Bill jokes a lot and is completely not serious about Ford, mixing his condescension with forced lies. maybe his obvious fatigue is reflected here after so many unsuccessful attempts to get humans to build a portal, maybe he initially realized how much Ford is a complex person with low self-esteem and loneliness, which is why he can not try to control his behavior at all.

however, the very first step of a change is that Ford is joking in response. unlike all the other humans Bill tried to deceive and who treated Cipher seriously and cautiously, Ford tries to copy the style of the demon's jokes, which obviously flatters him very much. I even think he was flattered by this little inconspicuous fact more than the blind adoration he had met before.

however, at this stage, Ford for Bill remains something on the level of a non-irritating pet, who is not stupid but naive in his attempts to please. the tattoo, which he asked Ford to fill, serves as an example that Bill sees Ford, first of all, as a thing that has become dear to him only due to its undeniable value in the construction of the portal.

but then, under the influence of the presence of the foolishly genius Ford, who had no distractions to slow down in his work on the portal, Bill begins to allow himself to behave more naturally in his manner - he does not restrain himself from doing terrible things, lifting Ford a gift in the form of an inscription of dead rats. he offered a drink, like to one of his interdimensional criminals-buddies, and, judging by Ford's crooked notes after that fateful night, Bill liked the night, too. at this point, the line between a funny toy and a friend begins to slowly but surely fade.

then, when Bill told about his destroyed dimension, he completely does not restrain himself in the whole dialog - he directly talks about the possibility of eating his twin brother, mentions the Time Baby, although then immediately changes the subject and then does the incredible - shows Ford, only a human he is using for his own gains, the last atoms of his home dimension, what he didn't do with any of his friends from the gang of intergalactic criminals.

one of the reasons why Bill did this, I think, was relaxation and sincerity. Bill is always relaxed and behaves as he wants. that's obvious. however, his gang perceives him above them - they know what kind of monster he can be and what he can do to them for the slightest mistake, which is why they can lie to him for their own good.

and Ford is sincere. he completely trusts Bill, and this trust is felt in the assertiveness in questions, in retaliatory jokes, in excitement and emotionality, which Bill had previously met in humans, mostly only in a negative way.

for a borderline immortal being, blind adoration, sincerity, and human trust as an equal create such a crazy cocktail that the demon of dreams can not refuse it.

and when all this strong whirlwind of emotions and devotion is directed not at Bill, but at Fiddleford, it annoys him if to use very soft words to describe it. insults towards Fiddleford slip through his speech without filters, and not only because Ford may slow down in building the portal, not at all, because Cipher is already confident in him.

Bill at this moment, and also in the case of the Axolotl, is very jealous. he is so jealous that he tells Ford not to trust anyone, naturally implying himself as an exception. the very possibility that Ford can spend his emotions and experiences on other people seems dangerous to Cipher in losing this bubble of security and honesty, where he can be himself and not see constant fear of others.

concluding this short chapter with spatial reasoning, it is difficult to say where Bill drew or whether he even unconsciously drew the line between a close friend and a living toy when he thought about Ford. however, at this point in time, it can be said for sure that Bill was not in love and did not have similar feelings for Ford at all. Bill appreciated their secluded bubble, where everything was fine. he appreciated communication and a perfect plan.

but this value consisted solely in the desire to possess and nothing more. however, this most zealous craving to own the illusion of stability became the basis for the emergence of a strange attachment in the future, or rather, its full realization.

[justmymindandstuff]

Right in front of you - Bucky Barnes x Reader (AU)

Summary: Natasha's new boyfriend doesn't like the fact that she and her ex Bucky are still good friends. So Natasha lies and drags you into a fake relationship with your best friend. What could possibly go wrong?

words: 16.189

warngins: drinking, make- out, a bit angst?, talk about suicide (briefly, not explicitly), swearing / language// ( I think thats all, correct me if I am wrong)

A/N: fake dating trope, Miscommunication, fluff, best friends to lovers// Avengers as a chaotic group of friends// AU// English is not my first language// no beta// Gif not mine// AO3.

Relationships: Bucky x Y/N // Natasha x Bucky (previously; mention)// Natasha x Bruce (previously; mention)// Natasha x Y/N (platonic) // Tony Stark x Y/N (platonic)

I had this in my drafts since 2022, but totally forget about it. Last weekend I rewatch tfatws (Yes, the whole season I have no self-control) and god sebastian stand is one of the most handsome man alive. I revised this draft and added about 10K words. This wasn't originally planned. Sooo anyways have fun with this :) Love to all of you ❤️.

You sit on Natasha´s comfortable couch and take a sip of your coffee. Your best friend called you in the morning and asks for this catch up and said she had a level 9 Problem. So you have been sitting here for almost 2 hours. You and Nat hand already exchanged all the important news form the last few weeks, but Natasha hadn´t yet said whats her level 9 problem is. "So why did you want to talk with me so badly Nat? We have talked about everything now." you say.

Natasha sights."I messed up."

"What happend?" you ask now worried.

"It is about Rick."

Her new boyfriend. He´s a pretty nice guy, from what Nat said. But you haven´t meet him yet. Natasha dates him for 3 month now.

"What did you do?" you asks. Since are when you have to pull every word out of her nose? Nat hesitates for a moment and takes a sip from her coffee.

"Okay. Please listen to me. I know I messed up but I have a plan. And for this plan I need your help."

"I will listen."

"So, Rick and I, we talked about our friends last week and you know we had already talked about our exes. And now he knows that I am still firends with Bucky. But Rick doesn´t think it is cool that I am still friends with him." she stopps and you look confused. You don´t see a Level 9 Problem with this. Natascha and Bucky were together for a few months and that was almost 3 years ago. So why is it a problem?"Y/N I am so sorry. It was a dump idear but it was the frist thing that comes to my mind. And I was pressed for time."

"Natasha! What did you do?" you ask again, now a bit annoyed.

"I told Rick you and Bucky are together."

"You did what?" you ask shocked and a little angry. Is she serious?

"I am so sorry. But besides Bucky, you are the only single in our group. And after that Rick was fine with Bucky as my friend."

"Natasha! What a stupid idear. And what´s your plan now? We all meet Rick this weekend."

"I know, I know. I already texted Bucky, but he is still at work, he says he will call me later."

"And what do you want me to do?"

"Lie for me? Please Y/N." she looks desperately at you. As if you could refuse her something when she looked at you like that. You shigh and in her look you can see that she knows she won.

"Fine. If Bucky is okay with it, I will pretend to be his girlfriend. But Nat, for how long do you think we can lie to him?"

"Not for long, just a few weeks. And than you and Bucky can pretend that you have broken up and remain friends. So Rick can see that Bucky can be just friends with his ex- girlfriends and everything will be fine." She smiles and you sigh again. What could go wrong? Except from everything.

"Fine! But I don´t like this plan."

"I know. And I am sorry."

"Its okay."

*

You enter your apartment and close the door behind you. You are not sure if Natashas plan will work. But you are her friend, so you will help her, no matter what. Your phone rings, you fummel it out of your Pocket. Bucky. You answer the call.

"Hey Bucks what up?"

Bucky came as Natashas Boyfriend in your friendgroup, but after a few weeks he was friends with all of you, and after he and Nat broke up, they reminds friends and Bucky stays with your group. You are glade he did, you really like him. In the last years, he became your best friend. He even integrated Steve and Peggy into your circle of friends.

"Hey Y/N. How are you? Have you talked with Nat?"

"I´m fine. Yes I have. What do you think about her plan?"

"It´s stupid." he laughs. "But I said I will go with it, if its okay with you."

"I said I will help her."

"Good. Just wanted to make sure you are okay with it."

"If it helps her, of course I'll do it."

"You are a good friend. Then we will see us on Friday. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Why?" you asks.

"Because we have to preatend we are a coupel." he says as if it were logical. And as if that were normal.

"Right." you start laughing. "It will never work."

"No probally not. But lets give our best to not mess it up for Nat."

"We can try. So you pick me up at 8?"

"I will be at your place."

"Thank you Bucky. See you at Friday."

"See you Friday Doll."

You hate this nickname, but he never listened to you when you said he should stop calling you that. After two years you gave up.

*

Friday is coming sooner than you thought. You've been stressed all week about your work, next week you have to present your new project, but you're still missing some figures from the last quarter, of course the department is lagging behind. So you had to work overtime. On the way home, your mother called you. Your grandma had another argument with her neighbors. Probably something about the garden fence. You couldn't care less. The argument has been going on for years, but your grandma is just stubborn. And she's driving your mother crazy. It took you hours to calm her down and when you finally hang up it's almost seven o'clock. And you haven't eaten anything since your lunch salad. Damn. You're going to your favorite bar tonight, but you can't go out on an empty stomach. You can't tolerate alcohol anyway, and on an empty stomach the evening would probably end over the toilet bowl before midnight. You open your fridge and sigh. Of course you forgot to go grocery shopping. You reach for your phone and dial Bucky’s number.

"Hello Doll." he answers in a good mood. "Everythin alright?

"Yes. Can you come a bit earlier and bring something to eat on the way? I forgot to shop grocerys and haven't eaten anything properly yet."

"Sure I'll do it. We don't want to repeat St. Patrick." he laughs. You grimace at the memory of the evening in which you dumped the contents of your stomach into the Hudson. "Not funny Bucks."

"Maybe not for you. I had a lot of fun making sure you didn't take an involuntary swim and end up as a corpse in the water." you hear him laugh through the phone and roll your eyes. You would like to respond with an embarrassing story from Bucky, but the man can drink like no one else. Sometimes you think he's immune to alcohol. “Is chinese okay?”

"Yes perfect. Please bring.."

"Spring rolls. Yes, I know, doll."

“Lifesaver I Venmo you the money.”

"Absolutely no way!"

"Bucky." you start, you hate it when he invites you out, but Bucky throws his money around like it's nothing. Because it's probably nothing for him. Bucky makes a lot of money with his firm.

"Don't argue. I'm your boyfriend, remember." he laughs. Oh yeah, Natasha's stupid plan.

"I actually forgot." you laugh now.

"My heart just broke." You roll your eyes, but then laugh. As if any woman could ever break James Barnes' heart.

"I'm on my way now, I'll be there quarter past." Your gaze goes to the clock. You've got half an hour, damn it.

"Okay, I still have to get ready. I will be quick."

"See you soon."

"See you soon." You hang up, quickly put your cell phone on the charging cable and sprint into the shower. You also have to wash your hair, you're really not on schedule this week. Bucky only needs 20 minutes, so you open the door for him still in a towel and with your hair half-dried. At least your Make Up is already done.

"What a sight." he laughs and lets his gaze slide over your barely covered body. You feel yourself blushing, even if there's no reason for it. Bucky has already seen you in your underwear, so the towel covers more.

"Charming." You say and let him into your apartment. He throws his keys and wallet into the small bowl next to your door and puts the take away bag on the kitchen counter.

"You know me. Go get ready, we don´t have much time. Since when have you been so late?"

You love punctuality. You think it's rude and disrespectful to make people wait for you, but this week seems to be cursed. You go back to the bedroom to get dressed.

"I've been behind time all week. Work is totally exhausting me. I have to present next week but of course nothing works out the way I want it to." You call loudly from your bedroom so Bucky can hear you as you rummage through your clothes. Of course you had also forgotten to check with Wanda and Natascha what exactly the dress code was for the evening. "Do you know what Nat or Wanda wear?"

"Of course not?"

"Crap."

"You look good in anything, so just wear somthing." he calls from the living room.

"Liar"

"Never Doll."

You pull your black dress out of your closet. It's just the right length to not be slutty. Quickly, but carefully so you not smear your make-up, you slip into the dress. You let your hair fall loosely over your shoulder, but quickly blow-dry it so that you don't look like you've plugged into a socket. You take a quick look at yourself in the mirror, yes, that would work. "How cold is it ?"

"It's summer, so not at all."

"So no tights?"

"No, no tights. Another question I've never asked myself before."

"You're a man, pants and shirt and you're dressed for any occasion." you come out of your bedroom. Bucky is sitting in your kitchen, he has put the food on a plate and has put cutlery out for you and a glass of water next to it. "You are my hero." You say, plopping down in the seat across from him.

"I know." You look at the clock, you actually have to leave in five minutes so as not to be late. You're narrowing your eyes, damn it.

"Now take a deep breath, relax and eat. Then we'll be a little late, it's not the end of the world. Besides, it's not just us, Vision, Wanda, Tony and Rick are there. Nat won´t be alone."

"Steve isn't coming?"

"Nope, Peggy isn't feeling well." You start eating.

"Still not?" you ask worriedly Peggy hasn't been feeling well for a few weeks, hopefully it's nothing more serious. When you spoke to her on the phone last week she sounded tired and exhausted. Bucky grabs one of your spring rolls and dips it in the sauce, a mischievous smile appearing on his face. "What is?" you ask confused.

"I'm not actually allowed to tell you this." You're immediately curious and lean a little further forward in your chair.

"Tell me."

"But swear you won't tell anyone."

"I swear."

"She is pregnant." Your mouth falls open, you expected everything but not this.

“I didn’t know they were trying.” Steve and Peggy have been together since high school, but neither of them have talked about having children until now.

"They didn't, it was an accident but they wanted to keep it." Steve and Peggy as parents? Funnily enough, you can imagine it. "Steve has been through an emotional rollercoaster in the last few weeks, you can't imagine it Y/N." Bucky laughs.

"And he didn't say anything to anyone?"

"No, only I know and now you. So quiet."

"I promise not to say a word."

"Good. Different topic." Suddenly he becomes serious and Bucky's look almost makes your food stick in your throat. "Nat's plan."

"What about it?"

"We should discuss boundaries."

“Boundaries?” you ask confused. What does he mean now? You actually thought you would go to the bar, introduce yourself as boyfriend and girlfriend and sit next to each other. Why do you need boundaries?

"Well, we want Rick to believe us and I think we should kiss for that. Of course only if it's okay with you." It would be a lie if you never imagined kissing Bucky. After all, he's terribly good-looking, charming, friendly, a perfect gentleman. And even if you're embarrassed and would never admit it one night or two when you were alone, Bucky as a fantasy has served you well. But he is also your best friend, your savior in times of need and your best friend's ex. Fantasy is one thing, but in reality?

"Kissing is okay with me." you say. "It just might get weird."

"Why weird?"

"I don't usually kiss my best friends. You're like a brother to me." A shadow crosses Bucky's blue eyes, but he's smiling.

"If you find the thought of kissing me disgusting..."

"I did not say that!" you say quickly. No woman on this planet would associate the idea of ​​kissing James Bucky Barnes with the word disgusting. You are sure of that! "I just think it's weird. The others are there too." you blush at the thought of kissing Bucky in front of all your friends. What have you gotten yourself into? And all because of Nat.

“Do you want to practice?” he asks and a mischievous grin appears on his face.

"I know how to kiss."

"I'm sure you're very good at kissing. I'm just saying so our first kiss isn't in front of everyone else." That sounds like such a stupid idea that it makes oddly enough sense.

"Then let's practice." You say, putting your fork down.

"Are you ready?" he points to your plate. There's still a little food left, but you're full and it should protect you from an alcohol escapade.

"Yes." Bucky takes your plate and cutlery, stands up and puts everything in the sink. Then he leans against your kitchen counter. You sigh and stand up too. You could say you're doing all this just for Natasha, but somehow the thought of kissing Bucky makes you nervous, but in a pleasant way. You walk over to him and stop right in front of Bucky. He's a bit taller than you, so you lean your head back slightly to look him in the eyes.

"Y/N. If you don't want that, we can just cancel it. Nat would understand." He says, looking you in the eyes.

"Nonsense. It's not that bad."

"Thanks."

"Thats not what I meant."

"I know, I'm just messing with you." he grins at you. Then his gaze goes from your eyes to your lips and back to your eyes. Bucky lifts his hand and places it carefully on your cheek. Then he leans forward. His lips touch yours and you freeze for a second. But then you move your lips against his, your hand automatically laying on his chest. Bucky’s hand moves from your cheek to your neck and he pulls you closer to him. The next moment his tongue slides into your mouth and you press yourself closer to his muscular body. But then you flinch. What are you doing here? You open your eyes and see it straight into Bucky’s. His gaze sweeps over your face as if he’s searching for something. "Too much?"

"No. I was just surprised." you feel your heart thundering in your chest. You feel strange, but not bad. And it wasn't as uncomfortable or weird as you thought. It was nice.

"And weird?"

"Not for me."

"For me either. You are a good kisser."

You hit him on the chest "Jerk."

Bucky laughs. "Come on now. We're late." he then says. You quickly grab your coat, throw your cell phone and wallet into your bag and slip on your high heels. "But I won't carry you home later if your feet hurt." Bucky says as he packs up his things again.

"You're taking me home?"

"Of course. I'm the perfect boyfriend." You roll your eyes. Why does he actually enjoy this lie so much?

"Come now perfect boyfriend." You say, pushing him out of your apartment and closing the door behind you.

Even though you hurry, you're almost 30 minutes late when you get to the front door of the bar. From outside you see your friends already sitting at one of the tables. "Ready for our big show?" Bucky asks you.

"It's a good thing I was at the Theater Club."

"I did not know that." he says surprised.

"Why sould you?" Bucky shrugs. Then he opens the door and gestures for you to go ahead. "Gentleman."

"Always." You enter and as you walk through the half-full bar to the table where your friends are already sitting, Bucky place his hand on the small of your back. When you get to the table you can’t help but smile. You hadn't seen Wanda for at least 2 weeks, Vision even longer than that and apart from a phone call last weekend, you've barely had any contact with Tony. It's unusual for your friend group, but at the moment you're all kind of busy doing something. That's how it is when you grow up.

"Hey guys." you say happily. "I'm so sorry we're late."

"That was 100% my fault." Bucky says.

"Our two lovebirds." Tony says and winks. You ignore him and turn to the only strange face at the table.

"And you must be Rick?"

"Yes, hello, Nice to meet you." he holds out his hand to you.

“I’m Y/N.” You say, shaking his hand. "That's my boyfriend." That sounds strange.

"James." Bucky shakes Rick's hand too, but you can tell by the way his muscles tense that he's shaking it unnecessarily hard, despite his smile. Wanda slides to the side so you and Bucky can sit on the bench next to her. Vision looks between you and Bucky, confused.

"Did I miss som...."

“Rick, I want something to drink, then we can bring something for Bucky and Y/N too.” Natasha says quickly and practically pushes Rick off the bench. You hear the panic in her voice.

“Bring something for me too.” says Tony, downing his half-full beer in just a few sips and then fumbling his credit card with grand gestures out of his pocket to give it to Natasha. Yeah, not strange at all or anything. Rick goes to the bar and before Natascha follows him she gives Wanda a quick, slightly angry look.

"Sorry." she whispers, Natasha disappears after Rick. "I totally forgot to tell you." She then says to Vision. "Bucky and Y/N act like they're together. Because Rick doesn't like the idea of ​​Nat and Bucky being together."

"What?" Vision looks between all of you, confused.

Tony starts laughing. "If you say it out loud it sounds even stupider."

"No shit Sherlock." you say.

"Bucky and Natasha used to date?" Oh poor Vision, sometimes you forget that he hasn't known you that long and that sometimes Wanda doesn't think about all the details. Not because she means anything bad, but because she is simply forgetful.

"Long before your time." Tony says in response to Vision's question

"Three years ago, but only briefly."Bucky says now.

"Then what's Rick's problem?"

"We do not know." you say. "But that's Natascha's thing, she asked us to do it and we're playing along."

“Red flag nonetheless.” says Wanda. Tony nods.

"Please! This is Natasha's first relationship since Bruce. We're meeting Rick for the first time today so please guys be nice. And stop your prejudices and red flags. We don't really know him." You're briefly afraid that the mood will change because you mentioned Bruce, but Tony just rolls his eyes and then agrees with you

"You're right. And we're always nice."

"That's a lie." Wanda says and you join in her laughter. A moment later, Nat and Rick come back to the table. A mojito is placed in front of you and you grin at your best friend.

"Thanks."

"Thank Tony, that was on his card."

"You make me poor."

"You're a billionaire heir." Bucky interjects and takes the beer from Natasha.

"Really?" Rick asks as he sits back down in his seat.

"Ever heard of Stark Industries?"

"The weapons company?" Tony rolls his eyes.

"Former weapons company." and you can tell from his look that Rick has already been written off by him. You kick him under the table. "Be nice." You whisper, gladly that Rick is talking to Vison. Tony rolls his eyes, but then clinks his new beer with everyone, including Rick. You all catch up on what's going on. Your conversation briefly turns to Peggy and her mysterious illness.

"She works in a kindergarten, where you're always catching something." you say quickly. Bucky grins sideways at you. You're already excited to see how your friends will react to Steve and Peggy's baby news. Rick is just talking about his work when you suddenly feel Bucky's hand on your thigh and you flinch.

He leans in slightly and whispers in your ear. "Relax, you're ruining our show." You smile and act like he said something funny, and when he kisses your cheek you don't flinch.

“Y/N, when is your presentation?” Wanda asks, after she is done talking about her and Visons weekendtrip to Jersey.

"Tuesday and Wednesday I'll probably get fired."

"So bad?" Nat asks worriedly.

"No, not quite that bad, but it sucks."

"You're welcome to start at my company on Thursday." says Tony. "I still need a new assistant."

"The worst three years of my life." Natasha says and then lowers her voice to sound more like Tony. "Romanoff cancel my meeting tomorrow I have a hangover. Romanoff I don't want to eat with Musk. Romanoff where is my watch?" everyone except Tony laughs.

"Pepper never complained."

"You were in love with her the whole time, of course you were nicer."

"Exactly." Natasha supports your point.

"You worked for Tony?" Rick asks confused. "I thought you were a lawyer."

"Yes, before I even went to university. And I'm not really a lawyer yet. I'm still at university. Speaking of which, Y/N, you won't believe who called the office." Nat works alongside university in a renowned law firm. Bucky got her the job.

"Who?" you ask confused.

"Your granny."

"No!" Embarrassed, you hide your head between your arms on the table. Bucky laughs next to you and strokes your hair, his warm hand touching the skin on your shoulder and strangely, you get goosebumps at the feather-light touch. You quickly sit up again and his hand goes over your back and rests on your thigh again. "What did she want?" you ask, reaching for your second mojito.

"Sue her neighbor again."

"God I really need to call her tomorrow."

"I already explained to her that that doesn't work." Nat says.

"I'm sorry she's annoying you so much."

"Oh, it's not that annoying. Plus, she sends me Christmas cookies every year, so I'm happy to put up with a little complaining."

The evening continues and at some point it's Bucky and you's turn to get new drinks for everyone. As you walk through the crowded bar you notice the alcohol in your veins. When you get to the bar, you lean against the counter, Bucky puts an arm around you. It's not unusual for him to touch you or hug you, but today he's somehow more affectionate than usual. Not that you mind. You don't know that about him at all, not even with his girlfriends that he has every now and then for a few weeks.

"You're putting on a good show." You say after he orders another round of cocktails and tequila for you. After this you better drink some water.

"Do you think he believes us?"

"Why shouldn't he?"

"I don't know, he looks at me strangely all the time."

"You're also his girlfriend's ex."

"That was three years ago." he rolls his eyes.

"I know, but toxic masculinity. And the way you shook his hand wasn't exactly nice either."

Bucky grins. "I couldn't help it." then he rolls his eyes. "He's looking at us."

"Seriously?" you want to turn around to look, but Bucky quickly puts his hand on your cheek, forcing you to look at him.

"Not so obvious." You giggle at your own stupidity.

"Is he still watching?"

"Yes. Ready for a show?" Before you can ask what he means, he leans forward and his lips are already on yours. You're briefly surprised, but then you return the kiss. His hand moves to your back, resting just a little above your ass as he presses you against him. Maybe it's the alcohol, or the fact that you want to put on a good show for Nat, or the fact that Bucky is really good at kissing, but this time it's you who slip your tongue into his mouth. Bucky grins and your tongues start a little battle that he wins. Your arms fold behind his neck and you press your body closer to him. You feel your heart beating a little faster, probably because of the alcohol and because you're making out in the middle of a crowded bar. You've never done that before. Bucky pushes himself towards you, so you have to back away slightly and now your back is pressed against the bar, but it's not uncomfortable. His hand moves a little lower and is now actually on your butt. His body is completely pressed against yours and your nails are carefully scratching his neck. Your lips move perfectly against each other. He's really damn good at kissing. You break away from each other, breathless. Bucky rests his forehead against yours. "That was hot." You laugh briefly.

“Is he still looking?” Bucky turns his head slightly to the side and his gaze goes over to your table.

"No."

"Good." Nevertheless, neither of you makes any effort to put distance between you. Your shoes put you almost at eye level with him. Bucky grins and then kisses you again, your lips only touching for a brief moment, but this kiss somehow feels much more intimate than your previous make-out session. A smile creeps onto your lips without you being able to prevent it. Definitely due to the alcohol. The bartender brings you your drinks and the tequila shots with lemon and salt on a tablet. Bucky takes the drinks and you take the shots, then you go back to your table.

"And I thought you'd disappear home." Tony greets you with a grin.

"You are just jealous." you say.

"He's not jealous, he's horny. How long has Pepper been with her parents in Florida? 1 week or was it 2?" Bucky says. Tony grimaces.

“18 days,” he then answers.

"Ohh you're counting the days you little puppy."

"Shut up Romanoff and drink more." Tony reaches for the shot glasses and puts one in front of everyone. You clink glasses, lick the salt from your hands and then drink the tequilla. You quickly bite into the lemon and are happy that the tequilla taste is gone.

"The toilets are where?" Rick asks, Natasha had probably told him that you were here often.

"At the bar on the right and down the stairs." Vision replies. Rick nods, stands up and heads in that direction.

Your friends' eyes are immediately on you.

“What was that?” asks Wanda.

“Even I almost believed you.”

“Why do you look so good while making out?” says Tony. Bucky kicks him under the table. "That was a compliment."

“We wanted to be convincing.” you answer, blushing and taking a sip from your mojito. The fact that Bucky's hand is on your bare thigh again and his fingers are drawing small circles doesn't really help to remove the blush from your cheeks.

"You were convincing."

"A little too convincing." Tony wiggles his eyebrows. "

"Where is your fantasy goes now hm?." says Vision. Nat and you grimace.

"I dont want to know it."

"Like I'm some disgusting stalker or something. Your new boyfriend was staring like a creep."

"That's not true." Wanda defends Rick, but you can tell by the look in her eyes that she agrees with Tony.

"He's just worried about Bucky. Because we used to be together. And you're not really nice to him either."

"I hardly spoke to him."

"Exactly. And what was that about James?"

"That's my name?"

"No one calls you that."

"I've known the guy for less than two hours and you came to me and said he thinks I'm shit. Do you really think I'm acting out here like I am best friends with him." The two bitch at each other. You reach for Bucky’s hand to calm him down a bit.

"I didn't say he thinks you're shit. Just our friendship."

Bucky presses his lips together and tilts his head slightly. "That's a bad move on his part."

"He's just insecure."

"It's not my problem if he has complexes." then Bucky bites his lip and you know he almost said something mean.

"It's enough." Vision chimes in. "We're here to get to know him. And so far he's quite nice. A good guy Nat." he says in his diplomatic voice. Does he also talk to his students like that?

"Thank you Vis. Also for being so open with him." her gaze goes back to Bucky.

"I've said enough."

"He comes back. Laughs and acts like I said something funny."

"Everything you say is hilarious Tony."

“I love you too Y/N.”

The evening continues with endless conversations and bad jokes. It doesn't even take 10 minutes and Bucky and Nat have forgotten their little bickering. You drink another shot with the others, but when Tony orders the third round you are out and prefer to continue drinking your cocktail. Bucky doesn't leave your side the whole evening, every now and then he presses a kiss on your lips or cheek and when you lean against his shoulder he immediately puts his arm around you and strokes your shoulder with his fingertips. Why is he so good at playing this fake relationship? But actually it doesn't matter. It feels good somehow. You miss it sometimes, the light touches, brief glances and secret whispers. But after your last relationship ended in heartbreak a little over a year ago, you're staying away from men. Wanda and Vision are the first to say goodbye and after a while Tony also starts to yawn now and then. Nat and Rick have separated themselves from you a bit and are making out in the corner, which makes Bucky roll his eyes.

"I'm leaving before those two eat each other over there." says Tony. You giggle silly. Unfortunately, you completely forgot that you actually wanted to drink water and the alcohol went to your head.

"We should going home too." Bucky then says.

"Hey. Nat, Rick." The two break away from their kiss and look at you. "We are heading home now." says Tony.

"Alright. It was nice to see you." says Natasha. “Y/N can I call you tomorrow morning?”

"Yeah, just call when you're ready."

"It was nice meeting you guys." says Rick.

"Yes, I thought so too, hopefully we see you soon again." you answer.

"Yeah, it was nice." Tony also says and nods at him. Bucky doesn’t say anything but helps you get up. Tony leads the way through the crowded bar towards the exit and Bucky walks behind you, his hand is on your back again as he carefully pushes you after Tony. You notice how your feet are starting to hurt in your shoes and you're glad to be home soon. A look at your phone tells you that it's almost 2 A.M. Oops. You didn't want to stay that long. Outside you breathe in the warm night air.

“Taxi or walk?” Bucky asks you, he has his arm around you again and you lean against him.

"Taxi please my feet are hurting. Tony will you drive with us?"

"You live the other way, dear." laughs Tony.

"That's right. But you know, I only can the subway network, not cars."

"We can drive to my place, that's in the same direction." Bucky suggests.

"Uhh, so you take her home with you. Your relationship goes pretty quickly."

"Shut up ass." Bucky says and hits Tony lightly, but he just laughs.

"Let's be honest. You looking good together."

"But we're not together. Just best friends" You said, laughing at Tony's statement.

"Well bro, that must have hurt."

"Dude. Leave it." you don't see his look, but from Tony's reaction you can tell that Bucky is looking at him more angrily than amused. Tony nods and starts typing on his phone, a few minutes later a taxi pulls up. You get in and Bucky says his address, the driver nods and drives off. It's late or early, depending on how you look at it. But New York never sleeps, so there is still traffic on the streets. Although less than during the day. You shift a little in the seat until you're comfortable and listen to Tony and Bucky's conversation. The ride doesn't take long, and when the taxi stops in front of Bucky's building, you rummage through your bag for your wallet.

"I'll cover it." Bucky says, but this time you remain stubborn.

"No." you take the bill out of your pocket and give it to the driver. Then you say goodbye to Tony, and when Bucky raises his hand for a farewell handshake, you notice that he had his hand on your thigh the whole ride again. Why didn't you notice this before? Did you really drink that much? You shake your head and climb out of the taxi. He probably got so used to it all evening that he didn't even notice. The taxi continues to take Tony home. Bucky takes his key out of his pocket and you go inside. The elevator ride to Bucky's floor is silent, but not unpleasant. A few minutes later you are standing in his apartment. You slip off your shoes and flex your feet.

"You see, you didn't have to carry me home." you say.

"Lucky me." Bucky grins at you and then helps you out of your jacket, his fingers running over your shoulders. "Are you tired?" He asks as he hangs up your jacket for you. You throw your bag under the wardrobe.

"A little bit." you answer. Bucky also takes off his jacket and shoes. Then he comes to you and you lean against him. He takes you in his arms and strokes your hair. You breathe in his familiar scent. "Do you think we convinced him?" you ask quietly.

"I guess. What else could we have done?" Bucky laughs briefly. You shrug your shoulders.

"You were really clingy today." Bucky pushes you away a little to look you in the eyes.

"Too much?"

"No." you say quickly. "No, not at all. I thought it was kind of nice. Just unusual."

"Unusual?"

"Well, I don't know you like this at all."

Bucky shrugs and smiles. "But nice?"

"Yes. I sometimes miss the closeness you have when you're in a relationship. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes, I know what you mean. I thought it was nice too. You kiss well." You start to laugh and want to pull away from the hug, but Bucky holds you by your waist.

"Don´t." he whispers. Suddenly you become aware of the closeness between the two of you. But you're always close? Why do you suddenly have this tingling sensation under your skin? You feel the alcohol in your veins. You smell the alcohol on his breath. And the next moment his lips are on yours again. You don't know which of you kissed whom. You do not care. This kiss is different, there is no one here that you have to act for. There is no one here for you to practice for. His lips on yours are soft, warm and comfortable. Buck’s hand cups your cheek and his thumb gently strokes your cheek. You put your arms around his neck and press yourself against him. His tongue carefully pushes into your mouth. Alcohol, adrenaline and desire rush through your veins. The kiss quickly intensifies, your tongues battle with each other, Bucky wins. His hand moves from your hip back to your ass and when he grabs it you moan. You never realized how much you missed being touched like that. You break away from each other, breathless. You look into his blue eyes, you don't know what you're looking for, but all you see is desire.

"Doll." his voice sounds rough and dark.

"Bucks." You say and he swallows. You don't want to think, you just want him. So you lean forward again, capturing his lips with yours. Your tongue finds his. Bucky moans softly into the kiss and you swear you've never heard such a hot sound in your life. Your whole body burns with desire for him. The next time you break apart, you don't hesitate. You take his hand and pull him towards his bedroom. You know his apartment as well as yours. You know that behind the door a large bedroom and a neatly made soft bed await you. And that's exactly where you want to go. The bedroom door hasn't fully closed behind you when Bucky quickly threw you onto the bed. You giggle as the mattress bounces slightly, but the next moment Bucky is on top of you and his lips are on yours. You scratch his neck lightly with your nails and he moans softly again. His lips move to your neck and he places kisses there. Immediately you have goosebumps all over you, you tilt your head to the side to give it more space and pray that it doesn't leave any red marks. But you actually don't care. His hand slides under your dress. You push your body towards him.

"Take it off." He says breathlessly in your ear and then kisses your earlobe. You sit up slightly and allow your dress to be pulled over your head. You're lying in front of him in just your underwear, but it doesn't make you uncomfortable. Maybe because you drank too much, maybe because Bucky is your Bucky. "You know you're beautiful." He says, running his hands over your body. You notice the blush rising to your cheeks, but at the same time you want him to keep touching you. You want to feel his hands all over your body. You don't answer him but just kiss him again. This time your hands go under his shirt. You feel the muscles of his back under your fingers. You push the t-shirt higher. Bucky removes his lips from yours and pulls the t-shirt over his head. You have to swallow at the sight of his defined body. You know he's ripped. You've seen him without a shirt countless times, but still. God this man is handsome. Your hands move up his torso, caressing his neck and cheeks. Then you smile and pull him back down to you. His lips automatically find yours for an intense kiss. You feel his body against yours, his weight on top of you and as you wrap your legs around his body you feel his hardness against your core through his jeans and you moan again. This is much better than your imagination. But that's not a fantasy. This is reality. His hands are wandering over your breasts in a very real way. Bucky's hands. Your best friend's hands. Through the lust and the alcohol, a thought suddenly arises. This is your best friend! Your Bucky. You're crossing a line and when that happens you can't go back. Fantasy is one thing but reality is another. You feel panic rising in you and your body tense up. You want to push him away and say stop, but you don't have to. Bucky pulled away from you and looked into your eyes. His eyes are worried over your face.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" he asks worriedly now. You shake your head, your throat is dry and you´re searching for the right words, but your brain is still stuck in a lust-drenched rigidity. Bucky sits up completely, pulling away from you and rubbing his face with both hands. Then he takes a deep breath. You finally manage to speak.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for anything."

"We can't Bucky. Oh shit." you pull your legs up to your body, trying to hide your half-naked body from him. Suddenly you feel uncomfortable. You feel tears welling up in your eyes. You're totally confused. Your head can't keep up with your feelings.

"Take it easy. Take a deep breath." His vocie is soft, but worried. You do as he says and then look back at him. You feel guilty and confused. Bucky gets up from the bed, turns to his closet and takes out one of his t-shirts. “Would you like to get dressed?” You nod. He hands you the t-shirt and you pull it over your head. The familiar smell of his detergent and the soft fabric on your skin calm you and you can finally think clearly again.

"I'm sorry." Bucky suddenly says now and you're confused again.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for harassing you. You're drunk and I took advantage of it. I thought you wanted it too."

"I wanted it! Bucky. No! Don't think like that. You didn't take advantage of me. I could say the same thing, you're drunk too." You are silent for a moment.

"Are you all right?" he asks, you can't quite interpret his look, he looks kind of sad, but that doesn't really fit.

"Yes, you?"

"Yes." he tries a smile, but it's a little crooked.

"It might be better if we go to sleep." you suggest. The situation makes you terribly uncomfortable. God, what have you done?

"Yeah, probably. Should I sleep on the couch?"

"Why? Do you want to sleep on the couch?" you've slept next to each other a thousand times. At some point you even developed the habit of cuddling a little before going to sleep.

"No. I just thought in case you needed some distance."

"I never need distance from you. If you want, you can sleep in the bed. Or I can sleep on the couch if you want." It's a strange atmosphere between the two of you, you both want to please the other without either of you really knowing what you want. Bucky sighs, slips out of his jeans and then puts on a fresh t-shirt. Meanwhile, you lie down under the blanket and are careful not to watch him change. Bucky slides into bed next to you.

"Sleep well, doll."

"Sleep well Bucks." Bucky presses the remote control on the nightstand and the light goes off. You lie in the dark and stare at the ceiling. Your thoughts revolve around the whole evening. About your kisses, about the touches. You felt good. You were happy. And it was nice. But that's how you always feel when you're with Bucky. Why is it so different this time? Because you kissed? But that was just for Natasha. That meant nothing. You almost slept with each other. But that's only because you've been making out all evening. Of course, this doesn't leave you unscathed. And you're drunk. You suppress a sigh and close your eyes. Tomorrow everything will be the same as before. Everything will be exactly the same as always! You fall asleep with this thought.

When you wake up, the bed next to you is empty. You turn onto your stomach, bury your face in the pillows and take a deep breath. You don't really feel rested, and one look at the alarm clock on the bedside table tells you why. It's not even 10 A.M. Why is Bucky already awake? You sit up and listen into the apartment, maybe he's taking a shower or something. But instead of the sound of water, you hear quiet voices. Bucky is talking to someone. Steve! You get out of bed faster than you thought you would.

"Bucky, do you really think this is a good idea?" You can hear the two of them talking muffled through the closed door.

"We help Natasha."

"Of course. You're so helpful and not at all selfish." Steve sounds sarcastic. But maybe you're just imagining it, after all you can only hear him faintly through the door. You quickly slip on one of Bucky’s sweaters. It is long enough to reach over your butt so you don't end up only in your underwear in front of Steve and then come out of the bedroom.

"Morning." You say as you step into the kitchen.

"Good morning Doll."

“Good morning Y/N.”

"Morning Steve, what are you doing here?"

"I brought coffee over. My run goes through Buckys street. I didn't know you were here otherwise I would have brought you one too."

"It's fine. Not like Bucks doesn't have a portafilter machine." You turn to the coffee machine and press the button so that the grinder starts grinding the beans.

“You are allowed to touch the holy coffee machine?”

"This is not a coffee machine, this...

"Is an Italian portafilter machine. We know." You and Steve interrupt Bucky at the same time. Bucky sighs but has to suppress a laugh.

"By the way, Tony filmed your smooch yesterday." Steve taps on his phone and the next moment you see you and Bucky making out at the bar. You feel yourself blushing.

"How childish."

"I think we look hot." Bucky says, pushing you by your hip to the sideand, taking the portafilter from your hand to clamp it into the machine and fill it with the freshly ground coffee. You roll your eyes.

"What's Rick like?" Steve then asks to change the subject. Bucky groans and rolls his eyes.

"Annoying."

"Nonsense. He's okay, I think."

"You think?"

"It was one evening and Nat likes him." the next moment your cell phone rings, Natasha. "Creepy." you accept the video call and in the next moment her face appears on your screen. "Good morning Nat." You say, leaning against the kitchen counter while Bucky finishes making your coffee and then fills your cup with oat milk. You know he always buys them especially for you and that makes you smile. God he's just the best.

"Good morning Y/N. I just got home."

"I am not that far yet." you turn the screen once so Nat can see Steve and Bucky, both of them giving her a quick wave. Then you turn the screen over again.

"How surprising." she says without meaning it. " But good I wanted to thank both of you. You really put on a good show yesterday."

“Sure thing, Nat.”

"It wasn't that bad." you kick at Bucky, but he pulls his leg away so you only hit the air.

"You can tell Rick in two weeks that we broke up." you then say back towards the phone.

"About that. He suggested we meet again on Wednesday for dinner. Like a double date." You roll your eyes.

"Nat!"

"I know, but I didn't know how to say no without lying. I don't want to lie to him."

"You should have thought about that beforehand." Steve says now. You give him a dirty look, it's none of his business.

“So Wednesday is fine?” You swipe away from the phone call to look at your calendar, but so far there's nothing scheduled for Wednesday other than work. "For me, yes." Bucky also looks at his cell phone calendar and then nods. "For Bucky too."

"Okay perfect. We were going to this new Italian place around the corner from me."

“That super fancy restaurant?” you ask.

"Yes, exactly." You sigh. Super fancy also means super expensive. A visit there would probably use up your entire going out budget for the month.

"Okay. See you Wednesday then." you say anyway. "Until Wednesday. And thank you again. I really owe you one. Love you."

"Love you. Bye Nat."

"Bye." Bucky and Steve call and than you end the call.

"I invite you, of course." Can Bucky read your mind? You blush slightly, but then nod.

"Thanks."

"Not for that, Doll." You don't actually earn less, but a lot of it goes towards renting your apartment. Natascha lives in one of her parents' apartments, so she doesn't pay rent and her parents also cover her tuition fees. Bucky earns more than you anyway and none of you can come close to Tony. It's not embarrassing that you don't have as much money as your friends, it's just annoying sometimes. You take a sip of your coffee. Buckys machine really is a thousand times better than that old thing in your kitchen.

"So guys. I have to go again. Peggy is waiting at home." Steve pushes his chair back and stands up. "It was nice to see you Y/N. Next time we'll be there again so we can chat longer."

"It was nice to see you too Steve. Love to Peggy."

"I will tell her." He says goodbye to Bucky with their signature handshake and then disappears from the apartment. You're alone with Bucky, you're sober and you suddenly remember your make out session in his bed you had yesterday. Damned. How embarrassing.

"I'm going to take a shower and then be on my way, don't want to bother you any more."

"You don't bother me, Doll. Ever." Bucky says. You try a smile, put down your almost full cup and escape to the bathroom. Maybe you can walk away from this awkward conversation. You're never embarrassed in front of Bucky, he's your best friend. You go through the ups and downs of your life with him, but yesterday. That was different and you don't want to think about it. Damn you were about to fuck him. You briefly go into the bedroom and open the wardrobe. You spend the night here so often that you have your own clothes here, you quickly get some fresh clothes and then disappear to the bathroom. As the hot water flows over your body, you take a deep breath. You try to sort out your thoughts. Everything was good between you right now. It wasn't strange. Everything as always. Or was it just because Steve was there? Should you address the situation yesterday? Or just stay silent and pretend everything is fine? Your mind wanders back to last night, to the feeling of his hands on your body. You quickly shake your head. You really can't use that now. You finish your shower, dry yourself off and change into your fresh clothes. You wrap your hair in a towel and as you step out of the bathroom, Bucky is standing directly in front of you. He was waiting for you.

“I know you Y/N and I know you want to run away, but we need to talk about yesterday.” You swallow. Damned! Were you drunk enough to pretend you didn't remember? No, unfortunately not. "Kitchen. There's breakfast." He says, nodding his head in that direction. You look at the front door, maybe you should just run. You realize how ridiculous this idea is and you admit defeat. You slowly follow him into the kitchen and sit at the table where Bucky has prepared breakfast. You grab a roll and Bucky gives you a fresh coffee. Then he sits down opposite to you. "So yesterday..." he begins, his voice sounds emotionless. You know that voice, that's his working voice. And you know he has a speech prepared. But you don't want to hear it. Everything in you is now reluctant to hear these prepared words. So you interrupt him.

"I think we should just forget about it. We were drunk, made out all night, so it's clear that we're kind of horny." He furrows his eyebrows, you can see that he doesn't like that you interrupted him, but he nods.

"If you want it that way." Now you're confused. You don't like the sentence, something is strange. But you can't quite put your finger on it.

"What do you want?"

Bucky opens his mouth, but he doesn't say anything. He takes a deep breath, looks at his plate and when he looks up again he smiles at you. But you know him too well. That's not his normal smile. It seems forced.

"Let's forget it." he then replies. Even though it was your idea, somewhere deep inside you are hurt. You quickly push the feeling away. You just want it to be like it used to be. It should be like yesterday morning. Before you made out.

"Good." you agree. The rest of breakfast passes in silence. Then you and Bucky clean up the kitchen. Your goodbye is kind of stiff and as you head home you still feel like something isn't right. You would like to call Natasha. She is your best friend. Normally you would call her now and talk to her about every second of last night. But Bucky is her ex-boyfriend. Yes, it was a long time ago. Yes, they're both obviously over it. Still, something inside you is resisting. You don't call her.

You don't hear from Bucky all weekend. That's not normal. But you don't call him either. Did you really ruin your friendship? God, what have you done? You just wanted to help Natasha. You spend the whole Sunday thinking about whether you should call her or not. But you don't. You know that Sundays are completely reserved for her studying and you don't want to disturb her. You're also embarrassed by the situation. Did you handle it wrong? Should you have listened to Bucky's speech? What is he really thinking? For the first time in almost three years, you feel like you don’t know what Bucky is really thinking. You don't feel like doing anything this Sunday. Bored, you lie on your sofa and stare at the switched off television. You tried to watch something, but it didn't interest you. You aren´t hungry all day, so you don´t eat anything ecept an slice of bread. Are you so old that a hangover lasts two days? Well actually you didn't drink enough to even have a hangover. You didn't even have a headache yesterday. You keep reaching for your phone, thinking about calling Bucky. But you don´t. You miss him. It feels like you had an argument. But you don't have. Or? Why can't you just call him? Because you're afraid it's weird. But it's weird already. God. What have you done? On Sunday evening, a few tears roll down your cheek before you fall asleep.

Monday morning comes too quickly and when your alarm goes off you briefly consider if you should call in sick. But that doesn't work. You still have way too much to do. So you get up, get dressed and head to work. You're just slumping into your office chair when your phone beeps. Bucky wrote you a message. Your stomach tightens. What's that supposed to mean? This is your best friend! Pull yourself together. You pick up your phone and open the message. "Call later? Work until 5." "Gladly." You answer, but you don't know what you want to say to him. What does he want? Since when has he been asking for phone calls? Usually he just calls. God you need to talk to someone. But you're so embarrassed by the whole situation. You've long since ruled out talking to Natasha about it. Wanda? No, she wouldn't really have any good advice for you. Wanda has fallen in love with every guy she has kissed so far. She loves the dream of true love. And with Vision she lives out this dream. Peggy? No, she's more Bucky's friend than yours. You sigh as you realize your last option. Tony. You need more friends. Nevertheless, you reach for your cell phone and call him.

"What gives me the honor?" he answers it after a short moment.

“Do you have anything planned during your lunch break?”

"My whole life is a lunch break." You already regret calling him and sigh. Tony must have heard you because his voice suddenly becomes serious. "What's up?"

"I have something to discuss."

"And why not with Nat?"

"Not an option."

"You're making me really curious. So lunch break. I'll pick you up at your office."

"Thanks Tony."

"See you later." After the phone call, you try to concentrate on your work but things are going slowly. You're happy when Tony writes you a message and says he's standing in front of the building. You quickly grab your things and your jacket, say goodbye to your colleagues for your break and go to the elevator. Tony knows well not to come inside your office. People treat you differently once they know you're friends with him. You noticed that clearly at your last job. As you leave the building, Tony is standing in front of you with a to-go box from his favorite Italian restaurant. You walk a little way to the nearby park, sit down at a fountain and start eating.

"So why did you want to talk so badly?" he asks curiously.

"It's because of Bucky."

"What about Bucky?"

"We kissed."

"I know. I filmed it."

"No. I mean after. In his apartment. In his bedroom. Half naked." Tony starts laughing.

“You guys fucked?”

"No! Almost, then we stopped and it's been weird ever since."

"Have you talked about it?"

"Just briefly. He had prepared a speech but I didn't let him finish and then we said let's forget it, everything is as usual. But I haven't heard from him since then, until this morning. He wants to call later."

Tony sighs and thinks a moment. “Did you stop or did he?”

"I. Why?"

"Then it's quite clear. Y/N. If a beautiful woman like you pushed me off the edge of the bed, I would also have a bruised ego."

“You think this is an ego thing?”

"I am very sure." You are relieved. So you haven't lost your friendship with him after all. "He'll probably only need a few days and then everything will be as before. Don't worry so much."

"Easier said than done. You know I'm an overthinker."

"And a people pleaser."

"Thanks." You say, rolling your eyes. Tony winks at you.

"How was it?"

"What?"

"Your almost fuck of course."

"Tony!" You say, slapping his arm.

"What? You wanted my advice and I just want my fair reward."

“Oh, your advice now comes with conditions?”

"Always have."

"And you wonder why no one asks you for advice. Oh yes, that was because of your character." Tony looks at you in shock for a moment and then starts laughing out loud.

"Good one. I'm proud." You rolled your eyes again. "So do I get the spicy details now or not?"

"No."

"It was worth a try." he then laughs.

"I hope everything goes well on the phone call." you then say and chew on your noodles.

"I'm sure. Otherwise, sit down together at the weekend and discuss everything calmly. Making out isn't the end of the world."

"Well we have to have everything sorted out by Wednesday at the latest."

"What's on Wednesday?"

"A fake double date with Nat and Rick."

Tony rolls his eyes. "I can't stand the guy."

"You just don't like him because he's not Bruce."

"That's not true!" Tony's look turns sad and you know he's thinking about his old lab partner. But he was so much more than that. Tony's best friend, Natasha's first love. You shake your head. You don't want to think about what happened to him, neither of you saw it coming. From one day to the next he was gone, and everything was different. You regret saying his name. Tony takes a deep breath.

"This is far too serious for me." You reach for his hand and try an encouraging smile. Tears gather in Tony's eyes, but he quickly blinks them away. "I miss him."

"I miss him too." You say. Tony takes a few deep breaths and then manages to smile again. He removes his hand from yours and claps his hands.

"You have to go back to the office." he then changes the subject.

"Are you sure?" Now you don't want to leave him alone.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. But I want an update tonight, your drama is much better than mine." You roll your eyes slightly, but you're glad that his low mood has been averted.

"You will get it." you say, getting up and throwing the empty food box into the nearest trash.

"Don't worry so much. Everything will be fine. Trust me, I'm a genius."

"But that doesn't mean you can see the future."

"Right, I can't do that yet. But I'm a man, just like James. Give him a little time until he realizes that his ego is getting in his way and everything is as usual." You want to believe him. And why should he be wrong?

"Thanks Tony. That really helped me."

"You´re welcome." He says, smiling genuinely at you. You hug each other goodbye and you head back to the office. After the conversation you can concentrate much better, you even manage to prepare everything for your project presentation. And that without overtime. You come home on time and put on comfortable clothes. You've just sat down on the couch with a cup of coffee when your cell phone rings. Bucky. You quickly answer your cell phone. "Hello."

"Hello." and then you both remain silent. Tears come to your eyes, maybe everything won't be okay after all. You hear Bucky take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. This is weird. It's weird between us." he speaks faster than you are used to from him.

"Yes, it is."

"I didn't want it like that. Never. And I know that in my bedroom was shit and that we didn't talk properly was shit too. I fucked up."

"No. When someone screwed up than it is me. I didn't let you finish on Saturday and left as soon as I could. I know it's only Monday but I miss you Bucks. It's so unusual for me not to talk to you for so long."

"It's unusual for me too. I miss you too." A ring at the front door makes you jump. "Will you open the door for me?" You quickly jump up from the sofa and open the door for him. You're so relieved to see him that you fall straight into his arms. You know that the last time you saw each other was only two days ago and that this dependence on your best friend is neither normal nor healthy, but you don't care about that at this moment. You're just happy to be able to hold him in your arms again. This time it doesn't feel strange, it feels right. You let him into your apartment and he throws keys and wallet into the small bowl on the dresser next to your door. Everything as usually. Then he puts his jacket aside and you sit together on your sofa.

"You wanted to say more to Saturday right?" you finally manage to gather enough courage to face the situation.

"Yeah, I thought about something before Steve came."

“Do you still want to say it now?” Bucky looks at you for a while, he seems to be thinking. Then he begins to speak.

"I wanted to say that I don't want our friendship to be affected by this little make out session. That nothing is as important to me as our friendship." he stops, takes a deep breath and looks around the room. But then his eyes find yours again, his look is serious. "But that's a lie." A hot burning sensation forms in your stomach. What? Before you can say anything, before you can even understand what he said, he's already talking again. "It's a lie Y/N. I've known this for a while. I don't know how many times I've talked to Steve about it. It's probably getting on his nerves terribly. But whatever, that's not the topic right now. I I really wanted to come here and tell you that everything is as usual but I can't. I don't want to. I don't want to keep lying. Shit. Kissing you, holding you in my arms, being allowed to touch you in front of everyone, This is all I've ever wanted. You're all I've ever wanted. I only had this for one evening but I can't go back. I'm driving myself crazy to think that none of this was real on your part. I love you. I love you for so long. I know you don't feel that way but I can't carry on like this. I'm sorry." You sit on your sofa and stare at him in shock. Did he really just say that? Your thoughts start racing. Everything has changed since the weekend and yet everything is somehow the same. You think about how you feel being around Bucky. Nobody makes you feel so comfortable. With him you can be completely you. You enjoy the closeness you have with him. Every hug. Every time you watch a movie together and cuddle. Every time you fall asleep in his arms. You can talk to him about anything. You can talk about the same thing a thousand times and he wouldn't complain. When you're with him you don't have to pretend. He saw you at your lowest points and helped you out. You saw him at his lowest points and built him back up. You always thought he was your soulmate, but platonic. Maybe your relationship isn't as platonic as you thought. You didn't see him for 2 days, thought you had lost him and felt like your whole world had collapsed. Have you ever felt that way about one of your friends? No of course not. You almost laughed at your own stupidity. How could you not realize that you love him? You lean in and place your lips on his. The feeling is so strange and at the same time so familiar. Bucky kisses you for a moment and then pulls away.

"Don't please. Don't do this because you think you have to." he swallows a few times, tears glistening in his eyes.

"I love you." You say. Now it's him who looks at you in shock.

"As your best friend?" he then asks uncertainly. Uncertain. Also a word that you wouldn't have associated with Bucky until today.

"No. I thought so. I thought you were my best friend. But that's not true. You're so much more. I love you Bucky and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I'm sorry we had to go through that drama. I'm sorry it took a fucking fake relationship for me to understand that I love you." you laugh and at the same time tears stream down your cheeks. How could you be so stupid? Now it's Bucky who leans in and kisses you. You wrap your arms around him, close your eyes and enjoy the kiss. He starts to laugh in the kiss and you laugh too.

"We're really stupid." He says, stroking your cheek.

"Yes." you take his hand and intertwine your fingers with his. Your whole body is flooded with happiness. “So no more fake relationships?”

"No. No more fake." he kisses you again and then pulls you onto his lap in one quick movement. You put your arms around his neck and hug him.

"I love you." you repeat, how could you ever not say it to him?

"I love you."

Bucky stays with you, but you don´t get any further than the couch. You're too busy making out and laughing at your own stupidity.

"Steve will be happy, now I won't bother him anymore."

"I should probably apologize to him." You say while scratching his neck. Bucky is laying across your couch with his head in your lap. You've been like this thousands of times, but this time it's different. It's much better.

"I could have said something sooner."

"Why didn `t you?"

"I was afraid of losing you. I felt like a schoolboy falling in love for the first time. At first I thought it was just a phase, but it became more and more. When we kissed in the kitchen on Friday, I almost lock you up here and never let you out again." You start laughing and roll your eyes.

"Charming."

"Always." Your phone rings and you both jump. To be honest, you've forgotten that the world outside your apartment still exists. Bucky turns his head to the side to see who is calling you. "Why is Tony calling you so late?" He sits up and looks at you from the side, there is something in his gaze that you don't yet know. Jealousy.

"Why is my friendship with Tony suddenly a problem?" you ask confused, you've never seen him jealous before.

"It´s not " he says quickly. "I was just wondering why he was calling you so late."

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." he says openly. "I know I shouldn't, but I am."

"You've never been jealous before."

"I was jealous of every man near you. I just didn't let you see it." he confesses to you.

“Then why now?” you ask, you're not mad at him because he's jealous. It flatters you a little to be honest.

"Because you're mine now." he says smiling. You grinned at him, leaned in and kissed him. Your cell phone stops ringing.

"I went on a lunch break today and asked him for advice because of you. I was afraid I would have destroyed our friendship. But he said you only had a scratch ego because I didn´t sleep with you and everything will be back to normal in a few days."

"He was wrong."

"Yes he was. He wants an update from our phone call." You have to laugh at the thought of how everything has changed in just a few hours, everything has become so much better.

"Then call him back." grins Bucky. You pick up your phone from the table and press call back. The next moment Tony's face appears on your phone screen.

“And was I right or was I right?” he asks into the phone without greeting. "Has Mr. Ego recovered?" Before you can answer, Bucky slides into the Screen.

"Mr. Ego?" Tony winces.

"Dude. You know I hate jump scares." You start laughing again. “What are you doing at Y/N’s house so late?” Why does he have to be so nosy? You and Bucky exchange a quick look. And you know you think the same thing. Why lie? Why keep something that feels so beautiful and so right secret?

"I'm spending time with my girlfriend." Bucky replies.

"GIRLFRIEND?" Tony screams into the phone and you hold the phone away. You didn't expect such a sudden outburst of emotions from him.

"Yep." you say. Tony starts laughing uproariously.

"I didn't expect that."

"Always good for a surprise."

"I'm happy for you and I said you look good together. "

"Thanks Tony."

"Then I won't bother you any further."

"We haven't told anyone else yet." You say quickly before Tony tells everyone the news.

"I'm quiet, don't worry, lovebirds."

*

Tuesday morning you would like to call in sick again, but this time for a different reason. Bucky kisses your cheeks as light as a feather, his beard tickles slightly and his hands stroke your hips under your t-shirt. Or more likely under one of his old t-shirts that you wear to sleep. "I have to get up and take a shower. Otherwise I'll be late." you laugh but kiss him again. You don't want to get up. You would much rather spend the whole day here in bed with him.

"Then be late."

"Then I'll be fired."

"Doesn't matter." his lips find your neck and he kisses you. You bite your lip to keep from moaning. You gather all your self-control and push him away from you.

"I have to work." He grimaces, sighs, and then rolls off of you.

"You're right as always." You quickly climb out of the soft bed before you change your mind and head towards the bathroom. You definitely need a shower after last night. A look at the clock tells you that you have still enough time. Thank god.

"Are you coming?" you call into the bedroom.

"What?"

"Showering." You hear him jump out of bed and the next moment he's in the bathroom with you. His lips on yours again. You start to laugh, but when his hands go under your sleep shorts you moan.

*

You stand in front of your closet and tilt your head to the side. Then you look back at the picture Natasha sent you of her outfit and back into your closet. You don't quite have the right outfit, so you'll be a little underdressed. You get dressed, do your make-up and your hair. Just as you're done, the doorbell rings. A happy smile spreads across your face and your heart flutters. Bucky. You quickly open the door.

"You look great." You say, he is wearing a dark shirt and pants. But he's rolled up his sleeves and you have to swallow when you look at his muscular underarms. When did you become a horny teenager?

"That's my text Doll." He says and kisses you. "Here for you." he pulls out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. You beam at him.

"Thanks. That wouldn't have been necessary."

"It's our first real date. Unfortunately we have to spend it with Rick, but still." You hit him on the upper arm. He and Tony could really open a we-hate-rick club. And that even though they don´t really know him. He kisses your cheek. You take the flowers and look for a vase in the kitchen. You fill it with water and place the flowers on the table in the living room so that they get enough light. Then you turn in a circle in front of Bucky so he can see you from all sides.

"And are you going out with me like that?" He grabs your hips and pulls you close.

"I would love to stay here with you like this." You start laughing, biting your bottom lip and looking at him with wide eyes.

"And then?"

"Stop it." he pushes you away from him, laughing. "But something is missing." he then says seriously again. You turn to the mirror and examine your outfit and make-up. Does he not like it? Maybe other shoes? Or another make-up? "I can hear you thinking." you turn back to Bucky, he is standing in front of you with a mischievous grin. "That's missing." He pulls out of his trouser pocket a silver chain set with small sparkling stones.

"Oh Bucks. No. I can't accept that." you say. You don't want him to give you anything. He's already taking you to an overly expensive restaurant today.

"Yes you can." He comes behind you and pushes your hair to the side to put the necklace on you. His hands then stroke your bare shoulders and he presses a kiss to your shoulder blade.

"It is too much."

"It's not. Otherwise, consider it a gift for your promotion." You start laughing.

“I didn’t get promoted.” Your presentation went really well yesterday and your boss put you in charge of the project. Normally you are only responsible for the preparation and then have to hand everything over. This is a great opportunity for you. Of course Bucky was the first person you called afterwards.

“You get more money?”

"Correct."

"And more responsibility?"

"Yes."

"Sounds like a promotion to me."

"But my job title remains the same."

"Formalities." You sigh but smile at him. You are so full of happiness that you can't believe it yourself.

"Thanks Bucky. For the flowers, for the necklace. For you. Just thank you."

"You don't have to thank Y/N. You make me so happy."

"You make me happy." You kiss him and fold your arms behind his neck. Bucky smiles against your lips. Then he breaks away from you.

"Come on now, Doll. Otherwise we'll be late."

"You're right." You say, turning around and reaching for your bag. Bucky slaps your ass lightly in the next moment. You gasp in mock outrage. "Stop it." He clicks his tongue and grins.

"Don't pretend you didn´t like it." You roll your eyes, laugh, and then head for the door. How grown up. You meet Nat and Rick in front of the restaurant, so Bucky came to you with his car, he parked right in front of your apartment and of course he has a parking ticket stuck to the windshield. He takes it off as he walks around the car to open the door for you. You collapse into the comfortable leather seat and Bucky throws the ticket to the others.

"At some point they'll take away your driver's license."

"Nonsense. I pay my traffic tickets diligently." You roll your eyes and he starts the engine. "And even if I do, you can drive me around."

"I don't have a driver's license." You've lived in New York your whole life. So why get a driving license?

"I know." he merges into the traffic and you arrive at the restaurant on time. You reach for the door handle, but Bucky lightly pecks your side. "Wait." He gets out, comes around the car and opens the door for you.

"Gentleman."

"Always. I'm just the perfect boyfriend." He really is. You started to worry if things would be different between you now, but they aren't. He's still your Bucky except he's also your boyfriend. Bucky hands the key to the valet-parking and you look down the street to see where Nat and Rick are. You feel yourself getting nervous. You haven't told Nat about your relationship with Bucky. You've only been together for three days. Still, something like that is actually something you tell her straight away. But he is still her ex-boyfriend. It seems forbidden to you. Your best friend's ex-boyfriend is normally absolutely taboo. You're sure she won't be mad but still. It makes you nervous. Bucky places a hand on your back. "What is it?"

"I didn't tell Nat." He knows exactly what you mean, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Because you're unsure if it'll hold?"

"No!" you say quickly. "No, not at all. It's just you're her ex." Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Hardly worth mentioning.”

"I know, I know. Still, I have no idea why I tink like that. I want to tell her. But I haven't had the chance yet. And now I can´t because Rick is with us. I'll tell her tomorrow."

"Take all the time you need, Doll." he kisses your cheek and smiles. Then you see Natasha and Rick come around the next corner. Your best friend looks stunningly beautiful as always. But her face looks a little tense. She doesn't hold Rick's hand either. The two walk stiffly next to each other. "Looks like a crisis." A mean grin appears on Bucky's face. You hit him lightly in the stomach with your elbow. "Ouch."

"That didn't hurt."

"It could have ."

“But it didn’t.” you suppress a grin.

"I'm sorry you had to wait." Natasha greets you and pulls you into a tight hug. Then she hugs Bucky too while you greet Rick with a smile and a handshake. Bucky just nods at him.

"No problem, we just arrived." you say. You go inside the restaurant and, thanks to your reservation, you are taken straight to a table. Bucky pulls the chair back for you and you grin at him as he sits down next to you. He immediately grabs your hand and you interlace your fingers together. Natasha and Rick sit across from you and the waitress brings the menus. You notice that there are no prices on your menu and you're kind of glad that you don't know how much this costs.

"How was your presentation?" Nat asks.

"Good. Really good. I can lead the project until the end." you answer her, feeling a little proud of yourself.

"That's great Y/N. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks." Natasha smiles at you, suddenly her eyes go to your neck. Did Bucky leave a hickey? No he didn't. You checked as you put on your dress. The necklace. Nat knows all your jewelry so she knows it's new. But she doesn't say anything. You continue to talk. It's much quieter in the restaurant than in the bar on the weekend, so you get to know Rick a little better. With each of his answers, Bucky seems to likes him less and you also find it a little difficult to find similarities between him and Nat. He has other hobbies, isn't interested in environmental protection like Natasha is, and he is showing off a little too much for your taste. But Natasha must like him, not you. You notice a tense atmosphere between Nat and Rick, but maybe you're just imagining it. Before dessert you excuse yourself to the toilet.

"I'm coming with you." says Natasha. Bucky gives you both a pleading look. You press a kiss to his cheek.

"Be nice." you whisper silently.

"A new necklace?" Natasha asks when you reach the toilets.

"Yes from Bucks."

"He gives you jewelry?" she asks, surprised and confused.

"Yes, because my presentation went so well." She doesn't believe you. Of course not. You don't believe yourself. You desperately want to tell her, but now is neither the right time nor the right place. You both quickly go to the toilets. "What about you and Rick?" you ask as you wash your hands. Nat rolls his eyes.

"So obvious?"

"Yes."

"We argue a bit. But that's normal." She tells herself, you notice that immediately.

"Yes, it is." you still agree with her. You wish her that she can finally be happy again. And arguments in a relationship are normal!

"What do you think of him?"

"He's nice. I've spoken to him a bit more now than I did at the weekend."

“Just nice?”

"Well, yes. Very nice. But it is only important what you think." You go back to your table, from far away you see Bucky and Rick having a staring contest. Bucky doesn't even blink.

"Bucky hates him." Natasha says and sights.

"He doesn't know him."

"And he doesn't try to get to know him." You don't know what to say because she's right so you just sigh. You come back to the table and you immediately reach for Bucky’s hand again. He smiles, but doesn't take his eyes off Rick. How grown up. You feel Natasha kick Bucky under the table. He doesn't flinch, but he looks over at her and smiles.

"Who wants dessert?" he asks without making a face and waves the waiter over. Natasha's eyes cast daggers at him. You bite your cheek to suppress a laugh.

You complete the last half hour of the dinner and as you sit in Bucky's passenger seat you breathe a sigh of relief. Dinner was tiring. Rick is exhausting.

"I'll be honest, I hate him." Bucky says and puts on his turn signal. You sigh.

"He won't become my favorite person." you half agree with him. The car starts moving and you press the button to roll down the window. The warm car air mixes with the even warmer city air and you blow a strand of hair from your forehead. Bucky looks at you and smiles.

"You're beautiful."

"Look at the street." You say, but his compliment gives butterflies in your stomach and makes you blush.

"To me or do you want to go home?" he asks.

"To you." you answer him. "Or do you want an evening alone?"

"I don't know if I'll ever want an evening to myself again when the alternative is an evening with you."

*

The next afternoon you stand nervously outside Natasha's lecture hall. It's her last one for the day, you know that. You got off work early today, went to university and bought bad coffee for you and Nat at the street stand. You definitely have to tell her today. The necklace made her suspicious, you know that and you want to tell her. Why should you be afraid of her reaction? You know yourself that it is irrational. The doors open and a bunch of students stream outside. You recognize Natasha's red head of hair straight away and start waving. When she sees you she is surprised. You didn't tell her you were coming to pick her up. She comes to you and you hug.

"Hey Y/N. What are you doing here?" she asks as you hand her the coffee, which is probably cold by now.

"Picking you up." You leave the building. Natasha is skeptical, you can tell by her look.

"What's bothering you?" you ask as you make your way towards her apartment.

"What makes you think something is bothering me?" you ask.

"You were a bit strange at dinner and now you're picking me up from university?" You sigh. Why does she know you so well?

"Something happened." Natasha looks at you worried. "On Friday." you don't really know how to start. You can't find the right words. You sigh. There's no point in talking around it. "On Friday night when I was at Bucky's we kissed and almost slept with eachother." Natasha furrows her eyebrows and then starts to laugh.

"God Y/N, you look like you just told me that my grandma died. It's all good. Did you think I was mad? Not because of that. Bucky and I broke up years ago." You're relieved to hear that, but you haven't said everything yet. "If you want to sleep with him then go for it. From what I remember he's really good." Nat puts an arm around your shoulder and grins at you from the side.

"I know." She stumbles in her movement.

"Y/N. Tell me the whole story! Now." she demands. Now you don't know if she's mad or not. Her face reveals nothing. You sigh and tear off the patch.

"We talked about it briefly on Saturday and I said I wanted to forget it. Bucky was weird and we didn't talk at all on Sunday. I wanted to call you but I know you're studying on Sunday and I was so embarrassed and scared that you're mad because he's your ex.."

"If you call him my ex-boyfriend again I'll scream. I'm over it, he's over it. We're friends!" She interrupts and you bite your lip.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you."

"You're always apologizing for something. But you haven't said for what yet."

"Yeah, I know. I... I.... Oh fuck it. Bucky came over on Monday and confessed to me that he loves me and then I realized that I love him too and now we're together. A real couple. A real relationship." you talk so fast that you're gasping for air by the time you finish. Nat just looks at you for a moment. Fear rises within you. Is she angry after all?

"Yes. Oh my God. How could I be so blind. Of course."

"What ?" you are completely confused. Natasha pulls you into a tight hug. She doesn't care that you're standing in the middle of the sidewalk and people are bumping into you and cursing at you.

"I was thinking. How could I not notice. You're both my best friends and I didn't realize you were into each other. I feel stupid."

"Well, I didn't notice it myself." You say, shrugging your shoulders. "I just thought Bucky and I were really good friends." Natasha starts laughing and you join in. "You are not mad?"

"No. Not at all. I'm happy for you. And for him. Really."

"Thanks Nat. I was really scared." Nat tilts his head slightly and sighs.

"I'm always your best friend. No matter what happens." You smile at her. "Come on, we'll be at my place in a moment and then I want to hear every little detail about this love confession. It must have been really good." You laugh briefly and then let her drag you along to her apartment.

*

Natascha's message comes on Friday afternoon as you are leaving your office and looking forward to a relaxing weekend. You're planning on going to your grandma's with Bucky tomorrow morning. Also because, unlike you, he has a car and you don't have to take the train. And of course because you want to introduce him to your grandma as your new boyfriend. Your mother would be there too. Natasha's message changes your plans. At least when it comes to leaving early. "Girls' night. Today I have vodka and ice cream. Nothing else." You furrow your eyebrows and know that something must have happened. Voda and ice cream is Nat's recipe for broken hearts. You quickly answer her that you will be with her in 2 hours. Then you dial Bucky's number.

"Hey doll."

"Hey Bucks. I have to cancel our DVD night."

"What happened?" he asks, slightly worried.

"Nat demanded a girls' night .An ice cream with vodka problem."

" Sounds serious."

"I don't know yet. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course, totally fine. We've seen each other every evening this week, now it´s Nat's turn. Should I pick you up tomorrow morning and we'll drive straight to your grandma's?"

"Sounds perfect. Thanks Bucky, you're the best."

"I know. Have a nice evening. I love you."

"I love you." The words come so easily from your lips that you wonder how you couldn't have realized that you love him. God you are so stupid. You hang up and head home. There you put on some comfortable clothes, pack a few things and head straight back to Natashas apartment. When you arrive, Peggy opens the door for you. You look at her surprised and pleased.

"You live." you grin and throw your arms around her neck. She laughs and presses herself against you.

"I missed you too."

"Are you feeling better?" you ask and have to suppress a grin because you know exactly why she was “sick” for so long.

"Yes, much better. Thanks." You put your bag down and walk through the long hallway to Nat's living room. She has already pushed the couch aside and laid out blankets and pillows in front of the huge television. Wanda sits on the floor next to Natasha. You greet them both with a hug and then collapse next to them.

"I ordered you a spinach pizza." Peggy says as she sits down next to you.

"Thanks. What happened Nat?" Your best friend wrinkles her nose. She has no make-up on and her eyes are bloodshot. She had cried.

"Rick and I broke up." You and Wanda exchange a quick look after Nats words. Then you turn to her.

"Oh what a shame."

"I'm sorry for that."

"You fit together so well."

"Fucking liars! None of you liked him and Peggy didn't even know him." she starts laughing and then crying. And then both at the same time. You quickly hug her and Wanda and Peggy also wrap her arms around her so it becomes a group hug. Natasha cries for a while and then takes a long sip from her vodka bottle. The smell alone makes you sick. Nat takes a few deep breaths. "Now it's proven Bruce was my last love." she says sadly.

"No! Nat. He was your first love but definitely not your last." you contradict her.

"Yes, exactly." agrees Peggy.

"But then why didn't it work again?"

"Because Rick was an ass?" Wanda suggests. "

"He just wasn't right for you."

"But at some point the right one comes along." Peggy adds.

Natasha looks at all of you and then smiles. "Thanks." She says and then wipes away her tears. "Enough crying about Rick."

"Exactly men are not worth our tears." you say. Nat laughs briefly.

"It doesn't sound honest coming from you. You're in love head over heels."

"Nat!"

Wanda looks at you in surprise, but you know from Peggy's grin that she already knows. Steve is such a gossip girl.

"You have a boyfriend? Since when and who?" Wanda asks.

"Since Monday." you answer, smiling. "Bucky." "

I knew you were too convincing. Best friends never make out like that." she exclaims. You start laughing.

"We're drinking now." Natasha decides and holds up the vodka bottle. Wanda reaches past her for a few glasses and juice. Unlike Nat, none of you like straight vodka. Natasha shares her bottle of vodka with you and when she hands the cup to Peggy you swallow. Oh no. .

"I can't." says Peggy.

"Why not? It's girls' night."

Peggy takes a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?" shouts Wanda.

"Oh my God."

"How surprising." You say, looking to the side because you can't suppress a grin.

"Are we happy?" Natasha asks uncertainly.

"Yes, we are happy. We are very happy." Peggy replies, laughing. This time it's her who gets a group hug. "And Y/N don't pretend. Bucky has known since day one and I'm sure you've known since day two. You suck at lying." Peggy says after you break away from the hug and lightly pushes you on the shoulder.

"He kept quiet until last week. I swear."

“So just juice for Peggy,” says Natasha and makes her another glass. "We'll toast anyway. To the first love and the last love." You toast and drink. To first love and last love. A nice toast actually.

*

You sprint out of your office. You're way too late and you hate yourself for it. But you couldn't leave earlier, your project is going well but a few things had to be finished today. You are responsible, so you take personal care. As you walk through the streets you rummage through your pocket for your cell phone. You actually wanted to go home after work, but then you would be even later for the dinner with your friends. You meet in 10 minutes and you are still 30 minutes away from the restaurant. You call Bucky.

"I just left the office." You say breathlessly as he answer the call.

"I thought so, I'm already on my way to the others. Should I come pick you up?"

"No, no. Then you will drive past the restaurant, I'm just a little late. But I'll hurry up."

"Take it easy, Doll. Take a deep breath. Being late isn't the end of the world."

"But it's rude." "

I bet you you'll get there before Tony and because he and Pepper invited us out you'll be on time."

"It doesn´t work like that." you laugh, but your steps slow down a little.

"It works exactly the way we want it to. Now breathe in and out deeply." You do what he says. "Better?"

"Much better. Why are you so perfect?" Bucky laughs quietly.

"I've waited for us for so long. I'm doing my best now." Your heart flutters at his words.

"You're perfect. The perfect boyfriend. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you soon, Doll."

"See you soon." Unfortunately, when you arrive at the restaurant, Pepper and Tony are already there. You are the last and the only one still wearing your work clothes. "I'm so sorry guys. I was stuck at work."

"It's okay Y/N. Don't stress. It's nice that you make it." Pepper smiles at you. She only came back two days ago. That's why you're eating together this Thursday. And this time you are complete again since a long time. You hug Pepper.

"Good to see you." You say and greet the others before you sit down next to Bucky and press a kiss on his lips.

"Hey Bucks." you say.

"Hey, Doll. See, I say being late isn't a bad thing."

"Why do you act like you're together when Rick and Nat have broken up?" Vision asks confused and looks between you and Bucky.

"Oh shit, I forgot to tell you." Wanda says, slapping her hand on her forehead. You all start laughing. Yes, maybe everything is different now, but somehow the same.

[tumbleweed-writes]

Death and the Lady: Chapter Four

Previous chapter found HERE

This chapter is slightly nsfw. So, 18+ only.

-----

Chapter Four: An Arrangement

Deputy David Hale usually didn’t make Y/N Y/L/N feel any sense of anxiety. To be honest, most of the time she was around him she just felt a little annoyed.

Her past interactions with the Charming police were a mixed bag.

Back when she’d been going through her wild phase with SAMCRO her interactions with the local police usually ended with her in handcuffs. Now that she was back in town and operating as a local funeral director, her interactions with the police tended to involve making arrangements for police escorts for funeral processions.

To be honest her feelings towards Charming’s local P.D. were quite conflicted given her past indiscretions…and her current ones. 

She’d always found Deputy Hale to be arrogant and just a little too self righteous for comfort.

David Hale had been in the same grade as both her brother, Jax Teller and Opie Winston when she’d been growing up. All four guys had been five years older than her, so they’d not really interacted outside of the interactions all three men had shared with her older brother.

Of course, that had changed once she’d gotten older and her brother had his accident. After that her interactions with Hale weren’t pleasant and her interactions with Jax and Opie were chaotic. 

Before the accident, her elder brother had been childhood friends with Deputy Hale all the way up until middle school when it had become obvious that her brother was finding new friendships with Jax and Opie.

It had become clear that David disapproved of Daniel Y/L/N’s newfound friendships. 

Even as a teenager, Hale seemed to carry around the notion that he was superior to the kids of Charming’s white trash biker gang. 

Y/N had gotten a certain level of respect from Hale as had her brother as their father was a respected member of the community…well they’d gotten respect before they’d rebelled and proved they were comfortable interacting with the white trash biker gang. 

Hale himself came from one of the more affluent families in Charming. Generations of the Hales were politicians, lawyers, and doctors.

David Hale had seemed to believe that his family background meant that he was somehow far better than the new friends Daniel Y/L/N had acquired. 

In Y/N’s opinion the Hales were nothing special. Everyone was equal in death after all. She had very little tolerance for people who tried to pretend they were somehow more important than anyone else. She didn’t care for snobbish people especially when she knew they’d wind up on her embalming table right where the same people they’d looked down upon had laid as well.

From what she could remember David Hale had been the All-American boy. He was the kind of guy who knew he wanted to grow up and serve the community. He was a boy scout. He played baseball in the spring and summer and football in the fall for the local high school. He attended church on Sunday and volunteered at the nursing home as a teen. 

She guessed she shouldn’t be shocked that even as a man in his thirties David Hale was still just as pious as he’d always been. 

If this had been any other scenario she’d almost find it funny to find that Hale had maintained the same short hair cut he’d had since he was a teenager. She’d always thought it made him appear a little boring especially when they’d been teens. Wasn’t being a teen the time where you did stupid crap to your hair after all? 

Standing near the Deputy sheriff, a few other members of Charming PD’s finest, and a borrowed modest forensic unit from Lodi near an open grave made her feel less than amused at the moment though.

She’d felt sick to her stomach when she’d received the call early this morning that another grave in Charming’s cemetery had been robbed. This was the second one within such a short time period.

Both graves had previously been occupied by men she had buried and embalmed. She’d been asked to come out by the Deputy and at least give her insight on what had happened. 

She hoped and prayed that the look of astonishment on her face, as she arrived at the cemetery, read as someone who was simply horrified by the situation and not at all aware of exactly who was responsible for this.

She gazed down into the empty casket both astounded and relieved to see that the sacks of dry concrete she’d filled the casket with were long gone. 

It seemed that whoever had done this had been smart enough to make it appear as though she’d buried a body in the casket and not sacks of concrete.

She knew the concrete had been a risk, but it had been necessary for the funeral. A full casket weighed more than an empty one. She’d just been relieved that she was right that the man’s family had no desire to see what laid within the casket. 

The man’s funeral had actually been quite sparse. From her interactions with the family regarding funeral arrangements it had seemed that the man had not had many friends in life and wasn’t the kind of guy that warranted a room full of mourners. She hated to talk ill of the dead, but she’d gotten the impression he’d not been the nicest guy. 

She hated to admit it but the information had made her feel less guilty about the fact that she’d technically loaned the guy’s body to the local MC.

She knew of course that the thought was a weak attempt to mentally absolve herself from her guilt. 

She’d be lying if she tried to claim she hadn't had a few nightmares about what she’d done. Most of the dreams featured her walking through the cemetery at night following a Son who she was sure might be Filip from what she could see through the pitch black night, only to have hands shoot out from the ground below her dragging her down screaming before she could escape.

She’d woken up in cold sweats hyperventilating more times than she cared to admit over the past month. 

Y/N didn’t need to be Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung to figure out the symbolism behind such nightmares. Her brain was taunting her both about her guilt over her actions and her newfound involvement with a group of men she’d thought she’d moved on from. 

As she stood over the empty grave she was overcome with the notion that she knew just who was likely responsible for the scene in front of her. 

Jax and Chibs had apparently not been lying to her when they’d reassured her that the favor she’d done for the club would not lead back to her.

It was clear they had done this to make it appear as though any discovery of the missing bodies was a result of a simple grave robbery and she was the stunned funeral director who genuinely had no idea how such an awful thing could happen.

She took a deep breath feeling a little anxious as she’d watched the one lone forensic scientist who’d come out to investigate, swab the inside of the casket. She knew well enough that the body had resided in the casket at one point. 

The man’s father had wanted one view of him in the casket before he’d insisted that a closed casket funeral was exactly what the family wanted. 

Any DNA would lead back to the dead man. Bodies did at times leak despite the best efforts to embalm.

She knew if there were any traces of concrete that might have leaked out of those bags she could play it dumb and blame it on the casket manufacturer. 

She highly doubted she’d have to play stupid in some interrogation though.

She tried to keep her face neutral as Hale turned to face her he quick to speak. “What do you make of this?”

She kept her voice even hoping it didn’t betray her with any signs of deception as she spoke. “I have no idea. He was there the last time I saw him.”

“And when was that?” Hale replied, gazing at her clearly studying her in a way that made her feel as though she was under a microscope.

She sighed adjusting the light black wool coat she’d worn over her black dress today. Even if this was just to come out and stare at an open grave she knew she had to look like the town’s funeral director. “When I screwed the casket shut before the funeral service. The family made it clear they didn’t want to see him like that. His father asked that the casket be sealed shut in case someone tried to go against the family’s wishes.”

She wasn’t lying. That had been the order she’d been given from the deceased’s father. Although there hadn’t been many mourners it had been clear that those who did attend were part of a somewhat dysfunctional bunch who didn’t seem to get along.

Hale nodded his head placing his hands on his hips, the action making him look all too self-important in her opinion. “Did anyone else have access to the body other than you?”

She sighed nodding her head back at Skeeter who’d recently gotten back in town the night before and seemed clueless as to what he’d come home to. She’d almost felt bad for the guy when he’d found out he’d have to tag along for this little adventure. “Skeeter was out of town. He’s usually the one who helps me set up the final touches on things prior to funerals. Old Charlie helps out a little too, but he’s getting up there. He’s nearing seventy soon. I highly doubt he’s going to start robbing graves when he’s been around this long.”

She paused thinking of the old man who was her father’s longest associate. Charles Olsen or Old Charlie as he insisted on being called, had developed a limp from arthritis but that didn’t stop him from doing a few of the more labor intensive jobs around the funeral home. He’d been a practical partner to her father in the business at one point, but he insisted his days of embalming were behind him as his body was beginning to feel worn with age. He had a harder time being up on his feet for the amount of time it took to embalm.

Of course that didn’t stop him from wanting to help out in other ways. He’d always been fond of her and she guessed he felt he owed it to her late father to help out any way he could. He’d practically watched Y/N grow up. He'd always been there. He'd been loyal to her father and now he was loyal to her. 

She was always willing to treat him well in exchange for his loyalty. Lord knows with the financial struggles she’d had, Old Charlie and Skeeter both could have found better jobs by now with funeral homes that were doing much better.

Her way of appreciating the loyalty tended to be shared bits of casserole she’d made for dinner and the occasional bought lunch or dinner especially if they had to be out late for a body pick up. 

She spoke again, shrugging her shoulders hoping she sounded honest. “The only other people who had access to the decedent were the gravediggers hired by the city.”

Hale let out a huff seemingly disappointed that she didn’t provide him with any information that could break the case. He spoke up nodding at the empty casket. “Have you ever seen anything like this?”

She sighed, being honest this time around. “A couple of times. It’s not a common occurrence. I saw it once or twice back in New York. Usually it’s old graves that are hit though…usually just edgy teens breaking into a crypt to steal a skull or something.”

She paused, shaking her head. “People are sick.”

“That they are. The deceased was found in Lodi, along with the other occupant of that first grave that was robbed…looks like someone used them to stage a crime scene. Doesn't seem odd to you that it took this long for someone to notice that this grave was disturbed. The cemetery groundskeeper spotted that first disturbed grave pretty quickly.” Hale remarked he once again seemingly studying her. 

She frowned, not liking that he was clearly watching her as though he was awaiting some kind of tell that she knew more than she did. She pushed back the thought telling herself that she was being paranoid.

“You don’t say? That’s something new. I can't say it seems odd, in my professional opinion. This is an older section of the cemetery, so less mourners. The deceased's family lives a few cities over, so I imagine they haven't been out to the site since the burial. I'm sure if anyone passed this one by they may have assumed that it was just an empty grave for an upcoming burial. In my experience deputy, most people don't peek into empty graves. So, they wouldn't have spotted the empty casket. Plus, the city only does landscaping in the cemetery every couple of months...Seems reasonable to me to think this could have sat unnoticed this long. I can't believe someone would go to all that trouble just to stage a crime scene. Who’d do such a thing?” She remarked, almost proud of herself for being able to conjure up the shock.

She knew her reaction was genuine of course. It wasn’t as though SAMCRO had let her in on their intentions for the bodies they’d requested from her.

Hale let out a small scoff he fast to reply. “I have my suspicions of who might be the culprits.”

She raised a well manicured brow tilting her head to the side playing dumb. “I'm safe to assume it’s confidential information? Given the obvious investigation and all.”

Hale practically glared straight through her, he fast to respond. “It’s out of my jurisdiction. Lodi P.D. doesn't seem to be interested in what I have to say. As far as they’re concerned this is some sick prank done by some very disturbed individuals. They’re looking into a few suspects of their own…local freaks who’ve been caught loitering around cemeteries in their area.”

She nodded her head trying not to show relief that Lodi’s police weren’t interested in any of Hale’s input. “I hope they find the responsible parties. Things like this are bad for business. I can’t have the bereaved of Charming fearing their loved ones are going to yanked from their final rests. Something like this has the opportunity to sow chaos and paranoia. I’m sure you’d agree.”

Hale sent her a look that could only be described as stern, his lips tight and his eyes narrowed. “Yeah, bad for business.”

He paused, deciding to push a little more. “Speaking of the business. How is that going?”

Y/N pushed a stray bit of hair behind her ear, the bit of hair having managed to work itself loose from the twist she’d put her hair into this morning. “It’s going. It’s been a challenge. My father’s health left a few things around the funeral home in disarray. I think it’s turning around though. Business has been good lately.”

“And how is your brother?” Hale dared to ask watching Y/N straighten out her dress under her coat.

She resisted the urge to glare at him, her brother not entirely a favorite subject of hers to discuss. “He’s fine. He’s started new meds.”

She spoke again, a sigh leaving her. “Is that all you needed, Deputy? I should get back to the funeral home. I have a few phone calls to make regarding this entire mess. The family has already left me a few voicemails I’m sure. I need to do damage control and promise that I will either rebury their loved ones or help them transfer their business to a new funeral home if they desire once the bodies are released back to the families.”

She knew it wasn’t a lie. She was so not looking forward to those phone calls. She was sure she’d be refunding some money so that she didn’t get sued though she had a feeling the families would more likely sue the city given they were in charge of the cemetery and she’d done her part on burying the dead as far as anyone knew. 

“Of course, I do have some concerns though.” Hale replied, deciding to push a little harder.

She cleared her throat hoping any annoyance she showed was more over this situation than the practical interrogation she was enduring. “Yes?”

He spoke knowing she’d probably bite his head off for this. “I know before you left town you weren’t exactly on the straightened arrow Y/N. Am I right in assuming you aren’t going to fall back into any old habits?”

She glared at him, her voice tense and sharp. “I don’t feel that this is an appropriate line of questioning, Deputy. My past is exactly that, in the past. I’ve not gotten as much as a speeding ticket for almost ten years now. My behavior as a teen and in the first year of my twenties is not at all reflective of my conduct as a grown woman. I don’t appreciate being treated like a common criminal especially when my biggest sins consist of underage drinking and some mild misdemeanors. I have worked very hard to clean up my act. I highly doubt it’s the local P.D.’s job to go around condemning innocent citizens for past misbehaviors. If that’s the case then you need to go down and arrest George Goldstein for spray painting the water tower when he was sixteen and maybe arrest Judy Mitchell for the pot she was busted with when she was fifteen.”

She cringed a bit knowing she sounded defensive but she couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t believe he’d had the audacity.

Though a voice in the back of her head told her he was right to have the audacity. After all, she’d made contact with the very people who’d encouraged her bad behaviors back then. 

She had done far worse now than some underage drinking and a few public nuisance charges. 

Hale held his hands up in defeat he quick to reply. “I don’t mean any offense Y/N. I promise. I just had to ask. I am happy to have you back in town, especially seeing as you seem to have matured since I last saw you. I’m happy to see you’ve cleaned up your act. Your association with Jax Teller and SAMCRO did always trouble me, given our history.”

She scoffed quick to reply. “We don’t have a history Deputy. You hanging around my brother until you guys were thirteen doesn’t create some weird bond between us.”

She paused, taking a deep breath cooling her temper reminding herself that she couldn’t let him get her all riled up. She had to keep her calm and play the role of a totally innocent funeral director who knew nothing about the local MC or what they’d done with those bodies. 

She spoke, clearing her throat. “As I’ve said, I need to be going. I have a busy day ahead of me. If you have any further inquiries about these graves please don’t hesitate to reach out. You can reach me at the business number for the funeral home.”

With that she turned leaving Hale behind her not noticing that the deputy did have the sense to look a little browbeaten by her comments.

She clenched her fists as Skeeter opened the door to the transport van , they usually used for body pickups, for her before he got into the driver's seat. It was obvious he was more than sure his boss was too pissed to be behind the wheel of a van.

Skeeter didn’t speak until they left the cemetery property. “Are you as innocent as you proclaim to be?”

“I could ask you the same thing?” She remarked adjusting her seatbelt around her neck , the seatbelt was always sitting too high on her body and cutting into her skin.

Skeeter let out a huff at the comment he fast to reply. “Touche.”

He spoke again, shaking his head. “Do I need to be concerned?”

“About what?” She asked, staring down at her nails making the mental note to get a manicure tomorrow she could use a refresh though she usually just had her nails trimmed and painted with gel polish. 

It was a luxury she allowed herself along with the occasional pedicure.

Skeeter sent her a small stern glance fast to respond. “You know what.”

She sighed, rolling her eyes. “I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

Skeeter let out a huff, his hands gripping down on the steering wheel. “That’s what I used to say when I helped out SAMCRO too.”

She felt her stomach drop guilt flooding her, knowing she’d essentially stolen Skeeter’s side gig right out from under him.

She spoke, keeping her voice even and collected. “Everything is fine.”

She paused, shaking her head a small smile crossing her lips though it was weak. “You don’t need to fret over me. I’m a grown woman. I don’t need some man to come along and handle all my problems."

She let out a small laugh fast to speak again. "You know, If I didn’t know better I’d assume your concern meant you were sweet on me.”

Skeeter let out a scoff at the comment, shaking his head a small smile eventually crossing his features. “You aren’t really my type…You’re a little too…”

“A ball buster, a cold hard bitch…oh, a shrew, a C You Next Tuesday with a stick permanently lodged up her ass, a domineering witch with control issues a mile long who must constantly be PMSing. A spooky bitch.” She remarked, the small smile still on her lips remaining she finding humor in poking at her associate about just what kind of reputation she had among the local male population.

Skeeter rolled his eyes quick to reply. “I value my job too much to give any confirmation.”

She chuckled, giving his arm a small pat the words that left her genuine. “And I value you too much as a friend not to be offended by any confirmation.”

Skeeter shook his head as she removed her hand, his voice once again taking a serious tone. “I don’t like you being involved with SAMCRO.”

“What’s good for the gander is good for the goose.” She replied her voice picking up a mild tone of offense over the implication that he was implying that she shouldn’t do anything he might have done. 

“I know, I’m a hypocrite for saying it…just be careful Y/N. You aren’t just my boss…I do care about you. I know just where the Sons can lead you.” Skeeter replied, his voice still holding that serious tone. She couldn’t ignore the hint of dread underneath the tone.

She sighed, shaking her head. “I know, I’m being as careful as I can be. I know SAMCRO well enough. I think we’re both aware of my history.”

Skeeter cringed knowing he’d been around during her wild streak. He’d been apprenticing under her father then. 

She spoke as she reached out, turning up the air in the car. “We both have our indiscretions, Skeet. Let’s just leave this conversation at that.”

He sighed nodding his head, his voice still so serious. “I know.”

He spoke again, shaking his head as they turned down the road heading towards main street. “I feel bad for saying it, but it's kind of a relief for me…The cash from those favors for SAMCRO, it was a little too dangerous to have in my hands.”

“How’s it going…you avoiding triggers?” She dared to ask, well aware of the man’s gambling problem.

She was always worried it would interfere with his ability to work, but he managed aside from the occasional favor he did for SAMCRO that she was all too aware of. 

“It’s going.” was the only response she received.

He glanced over at her needing to say it again. “Just be careful, okay. I don’t want you getting in over your head. Try to learn from my mistakes.”

“I won’t get in over my head. I’ve got it covered. Like I said, everything is fine.” She insisted, uncertain if she was trying to convince him or just trying to convince herself.

—--------------------------------------------------

The news of the empty graves had spread fast and weeks later it was still buzzing around town.

Y/N as the town’s most prominent funeral director was getting sick of the unprompted questions she was being asked by her fellow residents of Charming.

She tried not to grimace as she accepted the fresh cut of skirt steak from the local meat guy at Charming’s biggest grocery store, which honestly wasn’t that big at all. 

The butcher who she was sure was named Oscar spoke looking almost giddy to get to grill her for information. “You find out who robbed those graves yet?”

“No, I’m pretty sure Lodi’s police have it covered.” She replied, trying to keep her voice level and hide any signs of irritation.

He spoke all too eager and ditzy enough to keep the questions coming. “I guess you must see a lotta sick stuff at your job though. I mean you hear the stories.”

“What stories?” She asked, widening her eyes slightly giving a false sense of innocence knowing her best course of action was to play dumb and let him maybe reflect on just how inappropriate this all was.

He shifted in place a bit, his cheeks growing dark enough that they almost matched his thinning red hair. “Uh, you know…you hear stories bout folks who wanna dig up corpses for…uh companionship.”

She cringed her stomach turning at the implication he was making. She spoke a tone of disapproval in her voice “I haven’t heard those stories in my line of work. Any reports of…that happening in the industry are greatly exaggerated.”

With that she tossed the meat into her cart turning to leave she still feeling a little queasy about the entire exchange.

She took a deep breath reminding herself that people had all sorts of wild preconceived notions about people who were attracted to her line of work.

She kept her mind focused on her grocery list. 

For once it seemed that she actually had the budget to buy more than top ramen and produce. 

The payouts from SAMCRO had helped her put money towards a few debts she’d had hanging over her head both relating to her brother’s health issues and improvements her father tried to make around the funeral home.

Her father had spent more than he’d made at one point trying to upkeep the home and now she was left picking up the tab.

Business had picked up as well. It seemed that even with the wild stories flying around about grave robberies that Charming’s residents were willing to use her services.

She’d had enough funerals lately to put some money in her bank account. There had been a car wreck with two casualties, a widow who’d died of a stroke, and most recently some teen had drowned out at a lake up near the Chigger Woods.

She felt bad knowing that people’s losses were her payouts. She knew though that this was the reality of her line of work.

When business was good, that most likely meant someone else was suffering.

She wasn't rolling in money, but she felt like she was close to breaking even. She felt comfortable enough to buy some decent groceries and she felt like she could kind of breathe. She knew she wasn't entirely financially stable, if any surprise expenses came up she might be in trouble. She wasn't fretting over money as much as she'd been though before she'd accepted the Son's payout.

SAMCRO had not come knocking for any more favors. It was something that gave her relief but troubled her.

She wasn’t exactly kicking down her door wanting to see Jax Teller or Tig Trager again, but the absence of SAMCRO after the favor she’d done for them made her feel uneasy.

No one had even shown up to address the obvious grave robberies when both she and they knew just who had done it.

She couldn’t help but to feel a little bitter knowing SAMCRO had disappeared without a trace and had left her to deal with the fallout.

She should have known better by now.

Y/N also had to admit she was missing the presence of a certain Scotsman. 

It was a strange realization to have. She barely knew the man aside from the surprisingly pleasant conversation they’d had in the cemetery that night almost a full month before.

As hard as she tried to deny it, she had to admit Filip spiked her curiosity.

She found him contradicting in a way. 

He looked rough. She’d be blind to deny it. The scars, the general unkemptness, the intense and clearly dangerous energy surrounding him…it was all parts of him that should send her running in the opposite direction.  

He’d seemed so concerned about her that night at the crematorium and the cemetery though. She had a feeling it had something more to do than any worry about her wandering the cemetery after dark. She’d picked up on the implication that he almost seemed to care about how she was coping with everything that had been asked of her. She could remember the little looks he’d sent her throughout the night especially when his brothers said something uncouth. He’d been so quick to make a show of smacking Juice for being so insensitive during the cremation. It almost seemed as though the Scot cared what she thought of him. 

Her brain kept flashing back to that conversation they’d had as she was digging a hole for those cremains. It was small talk honestly, but she’d never had small talk with someone about the beauty of the stars.

In a strange way it almost felt like he was trying to connect with her.

She felt absurd for the thought. 

A voice in the back of her head told her all men were the same; especially men in the MC.

They classified women into two groups: girls they wanted to fuck and girls who they didn’t want to fuck.

A bitter voice told her that any attention the Scottish Son had given her was more likely him hoping to charm his way into her pants and that she shouldn’t read too deeply into it.

Another little voice piped up that him getting into her pants wasn’t such a horrible thing was it?

She’d been frankly going through a dry spell for a few years now. Her bedroom was quite frigid. Usually she had to seek out a bit of self release for her frustrations. 

She had a hard time dating. Most men ran screaming when they realized what she did for a living. Her dating life consisted of men who worked in her industry. Her longest relationship had been with a fellow student during her time at mortuary school. She’d found that her partners disappointed her though. If they didn’t run screaming they just seemed like they didn’t click with her. 

The Scotsman didn’t seem to be running…though he’d not contacted her since that night in the cemetery.

Even with the radio silence lately she could remember he’d been quite flirty with her. It had felt different from Jax’s methods of flirtation. 

There was something kind of charming about the Scot. His little flirtations had seemed genuine and not just a means to get something out of her. It was so unlike the way the flirtation had always felt with Jax. 

She would be a liar if she tried to pretend that the phone conversation the Scotsman and she had about the Son’s use of the cremator that night didn’t send a thrill through her. 

It was alarming that the sound of his voice alone and a little pet name like love could pull that reaction from her. She’d tried to deny it but she did feel a certain heat spread through her under his gaze. She was almost certain her clit would throb like a broken tooth just from his gaze and voice alone, and she didn’t want to even think about those  dimples or the intensity behind his eyes.

She’d maybe noticed he had nice hands too; sort of elegant as strange as that sounded. He had long fingers and she had to admire the golden biker rings lining them. She had noticed and appreciated the fact this nails were neatly trimmed. In her opinion most guys neglected their nails. There was nothing grosser than dirty fingernails on a guy who expected to shove those fingers in more delicate areas. 

The Scotsman’s hands seemed strong and as though they understood a hard day's work. She had to imagine the roughness of his hands might feel incredible against her soft skin. 

She found herself distinctly remembering a roommate she’d had for a short while when she’d first moved to New York. The girl had praised the wonders of older men in the bedroom.

She’d remarked that Y/N’s disappointment in the bedroom stemmed from the fact that she was relying on boys to do something a man could do a hell of a lot better.

Y/N had hated to admit it but the comment did seem likely. She’d lost track of the times she’d laid in bed after a sexual encounter and found she’d not reached her end, but her partner had definitely got there all too quickly. It was made worse by the fact that she’d had to fake it so as not to bruise the poor guy’s egos.

She’d not had many partners back in New York, but the few she’d had had been a let down.

A voice claimed that the Scottish Son would not let her down in bed. Filip seemed old enough to have figured out how to please a woman by now.

She groaned, tossing a jar of peanut butter into her cart as she neared the check out lane. She did not need to be going down this road.

She once again mentally scolded herself that Filip was not getting anywhere near her bed nor any other surface for that matter.

She’d outgrown the desire to spread her legs for bad boys on Harleys. 

She ignored that obnoxious voice that piped up that Filip was no boy.

Y/N began to drop her items on the conveyor belt at the check out probably a little too harshly but she was tired and annoyed both from questions from seemingly everyone about grave robberies and her own mental dilemma about her feelings towards a certain Scottish Son.

She felt her stomach turn as she heard a voice behind her. “Y/N?”

She turned trying to seem as though she wasn’t ready to have a nervous breakdown as her gaze met the gaze of Dr. Tara Knowles.

She spoke her voice tight hoping the good doctor would read her expression as general sleepiness from errands. “Tara.”

“How are you?” the woman replied clearly happy to catch up.

Y/N cleared her throat placing a bag of spinach on the belt. “I’m well, just busy lately, tired, and you?”

“Same. Though I can’t imagine how stressed you probably are. I don’t blame you for being tired. Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask about the graves…I imagine you’ve been asked enough.” Tara replied the comment soothing Y/N slightly.

She shifted in place as she watched the cashier scan her items, the older woman moving at a snail's pace. 

Y/N wasn’t entirely sure if Tara knew about her history with Jax Teller. Tara had been long gone and had left Charming by the time Y/N had begun hanging around SAMCRO.

Y/N was all too aware of the hole Tara had left behind in Jax Teller though.

Y/N had easily realized she had at times operated as a place for Jax to fill that void if only for a short moment. It had become clear from the very few encounters he’d had with her that she wasn’t the woman he wanted underneath him.

Y/N had been upset about it at the time not because she had held any romantic notions for the Prince of SAMCRO, but because she’d allowed herself to be used in that way.

It was one of the many reasons Y/N had pulled from that world.

She almost found it strangely amusing that two women who had both run away from SAMCRO were standing side by side. Two women who were similar in more ways than they realized.

Tara spoke, nodding her head. “I’m sorry to hear about your father. It seems like you’ve got the home running though?”

“I have…I’m sorry about your father as well.” Y/N remarked, still having to admit she wasn’t entirely accustomed to the showings of sympathy when it came to her late father.

The funeral had felt surreal and she’d barely registered the words of the mourners who’d shown their respects.

A small part of her had to wonder if Tara had felt the same about her own father. She almost wanted to ask, but the question felt far too sensitive for old acquaintances. 

Tara had been around back then of course, hanging out with Y/N’s brother and Jax and Opie.

Y/N had been younger though, not entirely prone to tagging along with the older kids.

Tara cleared her throat as she responded Y/N placing the divider down between their groceries. “Thank you. It’s strange being back here…it’s like some things are exactly how I left them. I’m sure you know the feeling. I mean, you’re back as well.”

“I am…it does feel like some things about this place exist in a vacuum…things outside change but everything within remains.” Y/N replied having to admit she felt the same in more ways than Tara realized.

Tara cleared her throat again as she spoke, placing her own groceries down on the belt. “I don’t suppose you heard about Jax?”

She raised an eyebrow, paranoia running through her. Why was Tara asking her about the Sons?

Tara spoke again, shaking her head. “I mean, I know you probably haven’t seen him in years…I know Danny was close to us all…before the accident.” 

Y/N glared down at the pears as they passed by her on the conveyor belt, the mention of her brother and who he’d been before the accident making her feel terrible. “I know.”

Tara spoke again, smart enough to realize she’d struck a nerve. She seemed eager to get on with it and make sure Y/N knew this wasn’t some way to bring up her brother and make her feel awful. “Uh, Jax is a dad now.”

Y/N widened her eyes at the news, it hitting her like a brick to the head. She never would have suspected. She sighed, shaking her head. “Didn’t even know he got anyone pregnant.”

“His ex wife…she’s in bad shape. It’s not my place to share it, but the baby…Abel, he’s premature. I’ve been taking care of him up at Saint Thomas.” Tara shared she resisted the urge to go into too much detail.

Tara certainly wasn’t going to explain Wendy’s medical history nor the antagonism from Gemma Teller Morrow.

Y/N furrowed her brow at the information. It seemed that things in Charming hadn’t stayed as in a vacuum as Tara and she had been discussing. 

She felt a chill run down her spine at the mention of Abel Teller. Her line of work meant she’d taken care of a few premature infants who didn’t make it.

It was a depressing reality about her profession; children died.

She had proven to be quite proficient in dealing with infant and child mortalities. It was something the funeral director she’d apprenticeshiped under in New York had praised her for.

Y/N was capable of providing a nurturing environment to mourn for parents and keeping her wits about her enough to get the job done.

Everyone had a talent. Y/N kind of hated that one of her talents consisted of comforting and tending to bereaved parents and their dead kids.

She spoke hoping and praying that she wouldn’t be attending to Abel Teller. “How is he?...the baby?”

“It was hit and miss at first. Only time will tell.” Tara replied she biting her tongue, resisting to spill her heart to Y/N about everything she was feeling.

She had a feeling it was mostly due to the fact that Y/N was also returning to her hometown after the death of a parent. 

Tara had a feeling that Y/N might be able to relate on that issue, even if Y/N’s issue didn’t exactly also include SAMCRO and a history with it.

Y/N cleared her throat as her final item was scanned and it was time to pay. “I hope for his sake that time will do him well. I hope my services won’t be needed.”

Tara felt a chill run down her spine at the comment. She was suddenly reminded that Y/N, as sweet as she looked, could be intense. She guessed it made sense though. Y/N was casual about death as Tara was about surgical procedures.

Y/N sighed as she began to roll her cart away from the register. “I’ll see you around Tara.”

Y/N didn’t wait for a reply, her mind feeling thick and exhaustion peaking up in the deepest parts of her soul.

She just wanted to go home and take a long bath, maybe have some wine.

Little did she know though fate had a different plan.

============================

The Acura started sputtering not long after she left the grocery store. She groaned knowing that this wasn’t an entirely new development.

Given her debts, she had maybe put off car maintenance. She knew it was foolish. She saw the deadly results of poorly maintained vehicles thanks to her job.

It was easier to preach automotive safety when you weren’t broke though.

She grimaced as the car drug it was obvious it wouldn’t make the trip home, and even if it did it wouldn’t make any other trips.

She sighed knowing there was only one automotive shop close enough for her car to make it.

She cringed as she pulled the sputtering vehicle into the lot of TM Auto. She tried to ignore the fact that the automotive lot was located on the same lot as the Sons clubhouse.

It was a place she’d spent far too much time engaging in debauchery almost a decade before. She was too close for comfort to a piece of her past.

Chibs Telford noticed the familiar Acura drag its way into the lot. He moved a little too quickly to approach it.

He felt a giddy sense of excitement hit him at the realization that he’d be seeing Charming’s local funeral director quite soon.

He’d not forgotten his silent pledge to solve the puzzle that was Y/N. It was just that shit with the club had gotten so hectic that he’d not had the time to properly devote to his goals.

He’d debated using the number he’d saved in his flip phone to give her a call, but he’d feared how that interaction would go. Besides what would he say?

He’d been debating his next move while trying to keep his mind focused on the rebuild of the warehouse, issues with the supply of guns from the IRA, and other numerous issues that had landed on SAMCRO’s feet.

He’d be lying if he tried to pretend that she hadn’t been on the back of his mind constantly for almost a month now. He’d even maybe picked up the habit of reading the obituaries in the local paper that was always delivered to TM Auto trying to pretend that he wasn’t searching for the name of her business. 

He felt like a man obsessed and knew this action was a sign of his infatuation. He didn’t want to get shit from his brothers about the fact that he’d taken such a liking to their new funeral home connection. 

It seemed that fate was throwing him a bone by placing the very woman he’d been thinking about right on his path.

He approached her car, opening the driver's side door, he hoping he sounded as charming as he was attempting to. “Lass, long time no see.”

She peered at him through a pair of oversized sun shades almost tempted to point out that he and his brothers had left her high and dry to deal with their little grave robbing antics.

She held it in though reminding herself she needed these idiots to fix her clearly dying car. “I’m having car trouble.”

She tried not to eye the name embroidered into the work shirt he was wearing: Chibs. So, she guessed not everyone called him Filip. 

“Aye, when’s the las’ time ya took it in?” He asked not shying away from jumping into assisting her.

She shrugged her shoulders making a small joke, finding it easier to use humor to deflect how unhappy she was to be back in her old stomping grounds. “You’re supposed to maintain it? I’ve just been putting a post it over the pretty lights on my dash. I find them distracting.”

He rolled his eyes not showing that he found the snark kind of endearing. “I’m guessin’ it’s been a while then.”

She shrugged a sigh leaving her. “The oil has been leaking, but I’ve not had the time to do anything about it.”

She left out the last part of her statement or the funds.

“Aye could be yer head gasket that’s causin’ the oil leaks. The sputterin could be anything from the exhaust system to the spark plugs.” Chibs replied not missing the grimace on her features.

She ran a hand through her hair, a sigh leaving her. All she heard was bills bills bills, more debt to throw into the pot.

He spoke nodding his head. “It’s nothin’ I can’t fix though…might be costly and take some time.”

She cringed, rolling her eyes speaking more to herself than to him. “Great another bill…At least I have the old hearse to get around town. It’s retired from using in the business but my father couldn’t part from it. I guess his packrat tendencies for funeral equipment saved me at least transportation wise.”

“Aye, good thing we gave ya that payout though…should help with the bill.” Chibs remarked not missing the comment about the hearse or her father’s habit of hoarding funeral equipment the information both fascinating and a little worrisome.

She let out a scoff, turning her gaze towards him for only a moment before she stared down at her nails. “I had to invest every last penny of those lovely payouts in my debts. I can probably manage a bill from my legit earnings from work, but if it gets too expensive I might be fucked.”

She sighed not liking the slight hint of pity in his gaze. She spoke once again partially talking to herself working her anxieties out outloud. “I may have to let the stupid car go. I mean people around town already treat me like a pariah…in the most polite, condescending way possible…I may as well just drive a damn hearse in my day to day life. I might as well become a walking talking stereotype of a mortician. Who knows how long the old hearse will last though. I might wind up back here with another ruined car.” 

Chibs spoke the words leaving him before he had a chance to stop them. “As far as payment goes…I’m sure we could figure out an arrangement fer a lower bill.”

She frowned another scoff leaving her as she spoke her voice low though she knew the few people within their earshot weren’t paying them any mind. “I’m assuming by arrangement, you mean the next favor I do is on the house.”

Chibs cringed admitting the idea had crossed his mind. He was sure Clay would be delighted to have Y/N owing a favor on the house. Clay would be proud if Chibs came up with a way to get a favor from SAMCRO’s newest asset in exchange for car repairs. 

Chibs hated the concept though, it seemed kind of like a dick move. Chibs was no stranger to dick moves, but he wasn’t exactly fond of the idea of using Y/N’s car as a way to coax her into doing another favor for free.

He spoke, pulling a cigarette from the pocket of his work shirt, a sudden idea entering his mind. He had to hope she wouldn’t slap him for presenting it. “Ya could have a date with me. Tha’ coul’ be the arrangement.” 

She glared up at him, interpreting the offer completely the wrong way. Her voice rose as she began to chastise him. “I don’t know what Jackson or any of your buddies told you about me, but I am not a club whore, buddy. I am not the kind of girl who spreads her legs in the clubhouse dorm. Fuck you, if you even think I’m sleeping with you in exchange for car work. You can shove that arrangement right up your Scottish ass.”

He stepped back having to admit he was equally mortified, amused, and even a little turned on by her reaction. 

He held his hands up in defeat as he cleared up his statement. “I don’ mean a date like that lass. I mean…I wouldn’t turn ya down fer the offer ta sleep with me…I aint askin fer ya in my bed in exchange for autowork though. I may be a prick, but I ain’ that big of a prick.”

He paused, relieved to see that her claws seemed to be retracting. He spoke nodding over at the car. “I’m jus askin fer a chance to take a pretty lass out fer dinner and me fixin her car is jus a bonus.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “Doesn’t make me feel any less like I’m prostituting myself for car repairs.”

He spoke, shaking his head, his hand daring to reach out and caress her arm relieved that she didn’t yank from his touch. “Ya ain’ if it makes ya feel better ya can pay a reduced bill, if it bein' free makes ya feel like shite then I’ll take payment as well as a date.”

She sighed, tempted to once again tell him to shove it up his Scottish ass though a voice in the back of her head perked up that it was a nice backside. 

She ignored the warning bells and harsh voice in the back of her mind telling her this was a bad idea. She ignored the voice that told her a date with Chibs would mean she was right back to being the club hangaround.

She stared up at him trying to read if he was absolutely full of shit or not. She had a feeling he was, but not in this instance at least. 

What could one date hurt? 

“Fine, it's a date. You call me with the plans. You can reach me at my business number.”

He smirked quick to speak. “I already got yer personal cell number love, ya do member our talk awhile back.” 

She rolled her eyes wanting to snap that of course she remembered. She was tempted to scold him for saving her number behind her back. She wanted to scold him for a lot of things, some things that weren’t technically even his fault.

She resisted the urge, resigning herself to her fate. The sooner she agreed to this hairbrained date idea the sooner she could go home and take that bath she wanted. “Okay, now can I get someone to give me a ride home…preferably someone with a car…I have groceries in the back of mine that are spoiling as I stand here listening to your nonsense.”

He smirked having to like that she once again had to find a way to give him grief. He found it less annoying and more delightful. It had been a long time since a woman had given him so much crap and he’d genuinely found it appealing.

“Aye, Gemma’ll give ya a ride. Jus’ head into the office let er know yer here with a wrecked car and ya need a ride.” He replied,  a joyful feeling settling over him. He had a date with Charming’s resident funeral director.

She cringed at the order not looking forward to coming face to face with the Queen of SAMCRO.

She grabbed her purse from her car refusing to glance back at Chibs even as he spoke that flirty tone clear in his voice. “I’ll call ya tonigh’ with those dinner plans lass.”

She let out a huff wondering how she got herself into these messes lately. Why did SAMCRO insist on making her life more complicated than it needed to be? 

[kookidough]

i know world tour rewrites are probably overdone by now but i wanna see an alenoah world tour rewrite where pretty much everything is the same but (predictably) it changes at/around i see london

so in this rewrite, pre-london, similarly to canon alejandro is flirting with other teams to get them off their game and eliminate them (cough cough bridgette, leshawna, etc) but he thinks it’d be a good idea to flirt with someone on his own team- not to throw them off their game, but to get a closer bond with them and hopefully a steady alliance once merge rolls around. after all, it’s easier to get closer to a team member than an enemy right now.

he’s weighing up his options and he Hates owen, izzy is Insane, and tyler serves no use to him, which leaves noah.. alejandro thinks he’ll be a good choice since while noah is weak he does somewhat try in challenges and he is very smart, so having him as an ally will benefit alejandro, also he genuinely enjoys noah company, viewing him as being on the same level as him in levels of wit/intelligence/humour, so boom it’s settled, noah will be his ally post-merge

anyway back to i see london, the episode goes the same up until the elimination ceremony, alejandro yaps in the confessional about it being unfair that chris let team amazon win since his team were the ones that actually caught the ripper-type guy. he also knows that since he was caught before the challenge even started, he’s probably going home !! so he needs to figure out a way to gaslight gatekeep girlboss everyone and stay in the game

he, like in canon, is of course irritated at noah for talking about him behind his back and thinks about eliminating him, despite previously thinking he’d be a good ally. this is where i diverge fully from canon and say he can’t really risk losing an ally here and maybe, without noah having the influence of anyone else, he’ll be able to turn things around with him. izzy is already gone so if alejandro eliminates owen, then noah will have no other allies and most likely be searching for one, so this is where alejandro can swoop back in and continue to ally with him (while definitely planning to use him for his intelligence and double cross him later as revenge for gossiping about him, and also because alejandro wants to win)

so with 2 votes for ale and 3 votes for owen, the big guy is sent packing and things are playing out the way alejandro wants them to. when he approaches noah for an alliance he’s surprised at how little convincing it takes, and he thinks this plan will be easier than he thought

hoooowever noah is also planning to double cross him and he approaches heather, despite disliking her, because he knows shes currently the only other one that can see through alejandro. he may not like heather but he knows she’s smart and a very capable player and hey, if things go south then it can’t be that hard to get her eliminated, because she’s literally heather

so just . AUFHHR i need this dynamic of noah and alejandro thinking they’re one step ahead of each other and they’ve got each other all figured out but they’re actually both just playing each other’s game and they have all the stupid flirty rival banter while they tango around their feelings for each other it’s great

and they dont even have to be final 2 !!! maybe their plans crumble and they end up voted off and get into some tense aftermath segment and have a very chaotic game of “truth or volcanic eruption” !!

[milkb0nny]

okie dokie i gotta request a sam x fem!reader where shes sams age but hits it off with dean? (strictly platonic between d+r) shes just a lot of fun at a karaoke bar or something? or maybe she beats dean in a game of pool(up to you) but just her flirting till she gets to sam and then she actually enjoys talking to him, they spend the night chatting about everything and anything. (maybe she invites him over to her place but like for a movie cuz dean took some blonde chick back to their motel??) idk up to you❤

Pumpkin Soup

Sam Winchester x fem!reader

Summary: While you spent a lovely night at a karaoke bar, playing truth or dare with some people your age, you got to know Dean Winchester. His funny attitude immediately captivated you, wanting you to become closer friends to the chaotic, hot-headed man. Though after a few drinks and games, his brother joined the group. Sam had previously investigated in a current case, decided to enjoy himself afterwards though. That was the moment you met a man who went beyond your expectations. The gentle charm of Sam trapped you in. In order to learn more about Sam, you accepted his offer to cook pumpkin soup at his current place. However, Dean wouldn’t come along the two of you, as he enjoyed the company of another woman. You didn’t mind though…

Note: Thank you for your request! I’m all in for Sam requests, as I really love him a lot. This idea is absolutely wholesome and I decided to throw some autumn vibes into it. After all, it’s October and I love pumpkins. :)

Warnings: implied sexual activity of Dean, reader thinking abt uncomfortable men back in her past

word count: …

As the karaoke bar pulsed with energy on that memorable Friday night, little did you know that a game of truth or dare would lead you to meet two extraordinary men, each with their own captivating charm. You never thought that a harmless party evening could change your life, and especially your view on two specific men.

You had joined a group of people, some of them went to the same college as you and with others you were already familiar. You’re for sure not a mere party girl, but you enjoyed the company of many happy people around you. It wasn’t the alcohol you loved to consume when you went out - it was the exciting thrill of meeting new people who could make your life way more colorful. In all honesty, among all the positive experiences, you crossed paths with uncomfortable men as well. Luckily, this night you got spared with the overly pushy men and instead got blessed by a kind and enthusiastic man.

During a traditional, spirited game of truth or dare, you were more or less forced to flirt with him. Surely, the stranger was handsome, but you didn’t feel any sparkling or tingling sensations while teasing the male. All in all, the atmosphere was electric, filled with a lot of laughter and buzzing music. After about half an hour of people telling others their most embarrassing moments of their lives and participating in surprisingly stupid dares, you decided to grasp some hair. The karaoke bar had a balcony, where you headed with a tequila in your hand. During your hunt for oxygen, a familiar deep voice rang through your ears.

“Hello there, beautiful,” he chimed in, delivering a flirtatious remark that drew a grin from you as you leaned casually on the balcony fence.

“What’s up? Haven’t you got enough of me?” you teased, keeping a watchful eye on him. For a brief moment, you feared he might become pushy, but your concerns were swiftly dispelled by his response.

Dean's striking green eyes traveled up and down your face, revealing a hint of genuine concern that softened his usually confident features.

“No, I haven’t. But in all honesty, I got a little worried since you left the group without telling anyone. Not that anything happens to you”, he replied softly, keeping a respectful distance between you. You were taken aback by his genuine worry, and it made you feel a bit self-conscious, prompting you to avert your gaze from his as you tried to hide your flustered face.

“You don’t have to, I can take care of myself,” you responded, and despite the seemingly cold statement, Dean understood that you valued your independence.

Again, his low voice met your ears, “Your name was y/n, right? You’re hella funny!” Dean changed the topic, offering some comic relief and lightening the atmosphere between you. You quickly picked up on his cues, expressing how his humor had brightened your evening. Your conversation with Dean flowed naturally, and you found his humor and carefree attitude irresistibly magnetic. He had the kind of infectious charisma that could turn any gathering into a wild adventure. Dean Winchester was a captivating mix of chill, cocky, and respectful of boundaries, and it was a rare pleasure to engage in a conversation with no underlying sexual tension. The man’s name was Dean Winchester.

After the private and endearing chat, both of you rejoined the group, which was now deep into the revelry fueled by alcohol and other substances. As the night wore on, a new figure entered the scene, a tall, handsome brunette who immediately gravitated toward you and Dean. He seemed slightly out of place amidst the intoxicated chaos, yet he appeared to find a measure of enjoyment in the surroundings. You quickly learned he was none other than Dean's brother, Sam Winchester. Sam had been previously engrossed in investigating a perplexing case, but now he had decided to take a break and enjoy the evening's festivities. Though he wasn't usually the party type, he occasionally sought a change of pace.

Meeting Sam, you quickly realized he was unlike what you had expected. In stark contrast to his hot-headed and impulsive brother, Sam exuded a gentle charm that immediately captivated you. He spoke thoughtfully, using intriguing vocabulary, and while he seemed a bit reserved and addressed Dean more often, you sensed a hint of shyness in him. His deep, expressive eyes held a sense of mystery, and his warm smile made you feel at ease. Sam was an entirely different kind of captivating, and you couldn't help but want to get to know him better.

„Do you want a drink?“ you inquired, hoping to initiate a connection between the two of you. Dean, ever the flirt, immediately picked up on your subtle intentions and moved on to a new companion who seemed to enjoy his playful company—a blonde woman with a delightful sense of humor. Sam's gaze now lingered on you for a few moments longer than before.

„Sure, I‘m in,“ he replied, a soft smile laced over his lips. You were really beautiful which is why he couldn‘t help but admire your facial features. To Sam, you appeared utterly stunning, surpassing every other woman he had ever come across.

The two of you made your way to the bar, and he ordered his usual: a beer. As you reached for your wallet to pay for your drinks, the courteous man was a step ahead, already covering the tab for both of you. Caught pleasantly off guard, you flashed him a grateful smile. „Thanks. I‘m y/n!“

„My pleasure, call me Sam,“ he inquired, straightening his posture. „Seems like you get along quite well with my brother.“

„Yeah, though he comes off like he only wants that one thing, haha,“ you joked, met by a soft chuckle from Sam‘s side. The corners of his lips curved up as you spoke, and the warmth of his smile sent a swarm of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Sam was undeniably handsome

Sam picked his brother up again, replying to your statement, „I get what you mean. He occupies the room more enough when we have to share one.“ he admitted, a hint of amusement in his tone.

„Oh, are you like travelers or something?“ You asked, curious about his life. Sam owned such a special charm that you rarely had met in your life, especially in men. His impeccable manners and pure kindness, devoid of ulterior motives, were refreshingly genuine. You couldn't help but feel drawn to him.

„You could say that, yeah. We’re usually on the road for quite some time and finish a job here and there. Similar to freelancers.“

Sam explained, and your eyes widened with excitement. Traveling and exploring new places was a goal you shared, and the idea of their adventurous lifestyle piqued your curiosity. „Woah, that’s cool. Do you see a lot of exciting stuff on the road?“

While he had indeed witnessed many thrilling experiences—some he wished he hadn't—there were times when he longed for a quieter existence. „Uh, yeah. I appreciate staying at a place for a little longer too though, I must say it can get very tiring.“

„Oh, that’s sad to hear,“ you sympathized. Your mind was struck on Sam and he very much seemed like he enjoyed your conversation. The hours passed as you shared funny stories from your past, confessing to your middle school clumsiness while Sam regaled you with amusing anecdotes about Dean. Sharing embarrassing secrets fostered a connection between you two. Somehow you wanted to stay in his company. You started to love his awkwardness little by little.

Unexpectedly, he suggested you both head back to his place to cook pumpkin soup—a proposition you found both intriguing and charming. It was a far cry from the typical advances you'd encountered in the past, and you couldn't resist the chance to spend more time with this enigmatic man. Unfortunately, Dean stopped by, the lovely woman in his arms.

„Well, who do we have here?“ Dean quipped, grinning at Sam. "I'll be taking this wonderful lady with me tonight, just so you know."

„No, Dean. You can‘t always ignore that I share that room too-,“ Sam began to protest before Dean cut him off with a smirk.

„Sure I can.“ He replied, leaving the karaoke bar accompanied by the woman.

Sam sighed, his offer thwarted by his older brother once again. "I'm sorry, I have to—" he started to explain. But this time, your cheerful voice interjected.

„No worries. We can head to my place. I‘m sure you’ll love it there.“ You invited the tall man to your place. You were touched by his charming smile in response. He nodded and stood up, thanking the bartender for his excellent service before following you.

The evening turned into a relaxing, cozy night with a man you never thought could exist so perfectly. The gentle charm of Sam and the promise of getting to know him on a more personal level made you momentarily forget about Dean's absence. There was something undeniably intriguing about the Winchester brothers, and you were eager to explore the depths of Sam's persona, all while cooking a warm and comforting meal together.

Finally, about 3am in the morning, you shared your usual lonely living room with Sam, eating the most delicious pumpkin soup you ever had.

[hopepetal]

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six pog | Part Seven

@applestruda @stiffyck

Ah, the chaotic dumbasses return!

It had been about a day since their kidnapping, judging by the cracks in the wagon that let a little light seep through. Scar was honestly beginning to feel a little faint from the lack of food and water, but all thoughts of how hungry or thirsty he was fled his mind whenever Grian let out a soft whimper of pain. It hurt. The fact that Scar couldn’t help his friend or even give him a reassuring hug hurt. He had to settle for whispering kind words to Grian, hoping they reached his friend’s fever-addled brain.

They were almost at the village. The mercenary- Marc, Scar had learned his name was- had stopped the wagon some time ago to tell them. Scar had to keep himself from angrily snapping ‘hurry up’ at the man, his worry over Grian’s state and his inability to do anything about it making him wound up. It looked like the beginnings of an infection, and Scar hoped that they had caught it early enough where it wouldn’t become that big of an issue. Marc seemed to have bought his soulbound bluff, and since Scar was clearly too important to lose, that meant Grian would be taken care of. Hopefully.

The wagon stopped, the sudden lack of motion jostling the passengers. Scar closed his eyes in anticipation of the wagon cover being yanked back, light flooding into the previously dark space. When Marc’s face finally came into focus, Scar noticed he was holding a dark green bundle of fabric that he assumed was clothes. “Well howdy there. Long time no see.” Scar’s face and tone was completely deadpan as he spoke, making the mercenary groan and roll his eyes.

Tossing the bundles at Scar, Marc turned away. “Right. Put those cloaks on. We’ll need them for the village.” He started to walk away, pausing when Scar coughed. “What? What could you possibly need now?”

“I hate to break it to you,” Scar began, “but I’m afraid my hands are tied.” After a moment, he cracked a grin. “Literally.”

Marc took a brief moment to reflect on all the life choices he had made that led him to this point, regretting each and every one of them. Slowly, he turned back. “If you even think of pulling some stupid stunt-” He grabbed Scar’s arm in a vice grip, yanking him around so that he could cut through the ropes before holding his sword to Grian’s neck- “your soulmate gets it.”

Scar grit his teeth, exhaling hard to keep himself from getting too angry. He noticed how the ends of his hair had begun to turn white when his anger spiked, a consequence he assumed came from suppressing his vex magic. It was no problem. He just had to make sure he didn’t get too emotional. He could do that! Totally! Carefully, Scar put the cloak on, moving slowly so as to not anger Marc. Once he had done that, he turned back to Marc, watching with narrowed eyes as he roughly cut the ropes tying Grian’s arms behind his back and practically manhandled him into the cloak. 

“Woah now.” Scar was barely able to keep his voice level, to keep the anger from rising in his tone. “Be gentle with him. He’s injured. Remember our deal?”

Marc rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You vexes and your stupid deals.” Pulling Grian out of the wagon, he beckoned Scar out with a jerk of his head. “Put your hood up and get out. We’re walking to the village.”

Scar scrambled out of the back of the wagon, pulling up his hood before reaching for Grian. “Let me carry him. You can’t seriously expect him to walk like that- he’s hardly even conscious.”

Marc held his sword up again, pressing the blade against Grian’s neck. “And how should I trust you not to run off the instant you have him?”

Scar’s shoulders slumped as he looked away. “I don’t know my way around the area. I don’t think I’d make it very far, and even if I did, he’s sick. He needs help, and I can’t give it to him.” He felt too vulnerable at that moment, all of his emotional guards stripped away in the face of the threat. Once again, proving how powerless he actually was. How useless he was. 

Okay, now was not the time to be spiraling. He needed to pull himself together. Emotions could come later, when everything was normal and they weren’t in danger of being killed or worse. Dealing with emotions and stress in a healthy manner? Why, he’d never heard of her. No siree. 

Marc laughed at that, before shoving Grian against Scar. “Fine. Goddamn lovebirds. Come on, then.” Still laughing, he began walking down the path, his sword at his side.

Carefully picking Grian up and holding him so that his wound wouldn’t be jostled as much, Scar followed Marc. Feeling the avian pressed up against him, feverish and trembling, Scar couldn’t help but feel even more guilty. This whole situation was entirely his fault. His fault for injuring Grian. His fault for running away. His fault for attracting the mercenaries, his fault for being powerless against them, his fault for…

Scar nearly tripped over a root that was sticking out of the ground, cursing under his breath as he steadied himself, keeping his grip on Grian firm but gentle. He had fallen a little behind Marc because of this, and though his legs were weak from the prolonged sitting in the wagon he caught up easily. They continued down the path in relative silence, Grian’s soft whimpers occasionally breaking the quiet. 

Soon, the village came into view, and Scar’s whole body relaxed. Relief flooded through him, and Marc shot him an amused glance. “Yeah, yeah. We’re gonna get that bird brain some bandages and medicine, so calm down.”

Scar had to really keep himself from snapping angrily at Marc. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his hair beginning to lighten in color again. How dare he act so friendly? How dare he-!

Deep breaths. In… and out. Just like Grian had done. Scar couldn’t risk his vex magic running wild again. Couldn’t risk the only chance he had at getting Grian the help he needed. He could at least do this one thing right.

Walking through the village, Scar noticed they were getting some strange looks but nothing further than that. He supposed things could’ve been worse. Marc led them to a shop that looked as though it had been built decades ago, but still well-used among the villagers. 

“Stay out of the way, in a corner or something,” Marc instructed, “I’ll be quick. And don’t even think about trying to leave. I’m not above hurting you.”

Scar sighed. “I know. I’m not putting him in danger.” Stepping back, Scar watched as Marc began to browse, picking out arrows, potions, bandages, and other various things Scar couldn’t be bothered to really pay attention to. 

A few minutes later, Grian began mumbling deliriously, pressing against Scar as his words became ever more garbled and frantic. Frowning, Scar did his best to calm his friend, though there wasn’t much he could do other than murmur “it’s okay”, and “I’m here”.

A gentle cough interrupted his panic, and Scar looked up to see a younger woman holding a bag. “Is he alright?” she asked, looking at Grian before glancing back up at Scar. “He shouldn’t be out if he’s sick.”

Scar opened his mouth to answer, but Marc was already walking over, having finished his little shopping trip. “Ah, so sorry to bother you, miss. We’re travelers, you see, and our friend was injured. We were just making a stop to pick up some medicine.” As he spoke, he grabbed Scar’s arm and began pulling him away from the woman. “Thank you, though!” 

As Scar stumbled out after Marc, still holding Grian close, none of them noticed a figure in a red cloak watching them from the shadows. Pulling a small piece of parchment out of her pocket, the woman simply wrote two words. 

Found them.

She carefully folded the parchment into an intricate origami moth, before bringing it up to her lips and giving it a soft kiss. Magic flowed through the paper, bringing the moth to life. “To the knights,” she whispered, and the message took flight on the wind of her breath. She watched it go before turning back and gazing off in the direction Marc had taken Grian and Scar.

For now, she’d stay hidden in the shadows. Until the others arrived, and they could get their friends back.

Until the night came, and under the light of the pearlescent moon, revenge would be served.

[mylesstories]

previously on: chaotic stupid

a story with social media/text elements

the friendgroup travel to america for college and meet people while balancing their education with content creation :)

(i’m so bad at summaries but you’re welcome to read it if it sounds even vaguely interesting)

will be mostly in english, but will include other languages (not every language in the character sheets will be used)

[outivv]

— “Maybe… we should get out of the rain.” —

Synopsis: kissing in the rain sounds so… <3

Warnings: not proofread

Characters: ayato, thoma, nilou, and tighnari

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: kissing in the rain is actually probably not as beautiful as it sounds BUT IDC I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE OUT MY FANTASY OF KISSING IN THE RAIN CAUSE OMFG. Anyways enjoy!! Take care of yourself!!

— Ayato ���

“Oh my- thoma! Grab some towels, and start a warm bath!” Ayato said as he saw you arriving to the kamisato estate, absolutely drenched. You didnt expect it to rain. You should have though, I mean the dark heavy clouds… kind of a dead give away. “I thought I told you to bring an umbrella..” ayato said as he rushed down to you, and wrapped his coat around your cold, shaky body. You sighed, “you did… and I was dumb.”

You felt guilty, you felt so guilty, and like you were inconveniencing everyone just cause you didn’t bring a stupid umbrella. You were spiraling, and ayato could tell just by the look on your face, “dear…” he said, as he leaned down, and kissed you softly, only to pull away and gave you a reassuring look, “lets get you inside now, shall we?” You hate him sometimes. How he can sooth you with some words, a look, a kiss. How he can make you feel all warm inside, to the point you barely even needed a bath to sooth you.

You tugged on his sleeve to get him to turn around, before pulling him down to kiss you properly. He was surprised, but slowly melted into it as the rain washed over you two. “You guys!! You’re gonna get sick!” Thoma screamed as he rushed out of the doorway, getting a few drops on his shirt. Ayato bow realized just how long you’ve been out in the rain, and rushed you inside, he cant have you getting sick in his care now can he?

— Thoma—

“Aww no…” thoma whined as you both stepped outside of the restaurant. It was bright and sunny when you walked it!! But now its raining cats and dogs, with no end in sight. “Should we… make a run for it.” You asked, grabbing into thoma’s hand. “I mean… I guess.” He squeezed your hand before taking off running, with you right behind him.

You laughed, as thoma just kept running, clearly not enjoying the rain as you are. Something caught your eye though, a little hidden part of the city, with beautiful trees, a calm river, almost like a little private garden. You pulled back on thoma’s arm, and stopped. “[name]! We need to get out of the rain!” Thoma said, questioning your sudden stop.

“Yeah but look!” You said pointing at the beautiful scene. A bridge in the garden, that goes over the calm- mini river. “Its just a bridge?” Thoma tilted his head, you just rolled your eyes and dragged him over to it. You stood in the center, with your arms over his shoulders, “yeah but its peaceful, with the rain and all.” You said, and thoma kinda understood. “Mm… yeah I suppose, I just dont like being out in the rain…” you hummed in response, thinking for a moment, until getting an idea. You leaned up to kiss him for a moment. “I love the rain!” You exclaimed when you pulled away. Maybe… thoma could stay in the rain for a while longer

— Nilou —

“Come on [name]!” Nilou said dragging you out of the cafe you were previously in. She looked like she had stars in her eyes, as the rain poured down outside, it drenched her hair, and clothes, but she was absolutely enamored by it all. But suddenly her attention turned to you, taking your hands in her own, she danced around with you. Your feet chaotically moved around with her own carefully calculated movements, as you both danced and giggled.

You looked crazy dancing in the street, with no one there, but it was so mesmerizing nonetheless. “Wait wait! I learned how to do this recently.” Nilou said, stopping the moment, and turning your hands up so your palms were facing the falling rain. And as a puddle accumulated in your hands, she tapped the surface, inky for the water to turn into a beautiful lotus.

“I’ve been experimenting more with my vision…” she said bashfully, you smiled widely at her, setting the water lotus down, to place yiur hands on either side of her face, and kiss her. “I love it! You’re so talented!” You exclaimed as you pulled back slightly, resting your forehead on hers. Her hands rested on yours, as she stuttered, and almost fizzled out like a flame, with how flustered she was.

— Tighnari —

“We should be fine here for a while.” Tighnari said, looking up from your makeshift tent you had. Which consisted of, a massive leaf above the both of your heads. You huddled close, tighnari’s tail wrapping around the back of you protectively. The thunder made his ears hurt, so they were tilted down, while he was still on high alert as you were in the forest, away from any people.

You always check on him after a particularly loud boom of thunder, and while he mag say he’s fine, you can tell he’s slowly becoming more and more overstimulated. “Hey nari..” you say, as you cup his face. “If you wanna be the first to sleep thats okay, I’ll Jeep watch. He just hums, and furrows his brows, he knows he cant protest, not with you. You laugh at his expression, before softly kissing him goodnight.

[placegrenette]

On 5Miinust (+ Puuluup) and the pleasures of sticking idol pop where it (supposedly) doesn't belong.

I haven't been around much lately, y'all. Partly because my dudes have also not been around much, although ZaQ continues to post a series of videos on the ARTJAQ channel, teaching the audience about... something. I continue, in turn, to not understand Kazakh. Throw in increasing disillusionment with K-pop (I guess now we know why GFriend was so abruptly shitcanned, though the knowledge doesn't make me feel any better), a general post-October-7th discomfort with most online pop-music discussion spaces, and work to get done at home, and Tumblr just hasn't been a particularly rewarding place for me lately.

I didn't think Eurovision was going to be a rewarding place for me this year, either. And then Eesti Laul happened.

It's like some divine imp was watching and saying to themself, "You know what Jessica needs? A pop-rap group from a former Soviet colony whose members love video games and refuse to take themselves seriously and release lots of goofy content that sorely lacks English subtitles. No, another one."

To clarify: the description in the previous paragraph only refers to four of the six people making up Estonia's Eurovision entry this year. The two guys in the clip with talharpas are the respected "zombie-folk" duo Puuluup, who play world music festivals and draw their own album covers and seem like a very fun and intelligent duo. They somehow have fallen into league with 5Miinust, a four-member (previously five) group that has been around since the mid-2010s. To the best of my knowledge 5Miinust have never been accused of being Satanic and/or gay like Ninety One have, but they are either a party group, a hip-hop group, a boy band, a bunch of frat bros (see this album cover), or a very savvy business collective whose members include a former advertising specialist and a trained accountant. Or, most likely, all of the above at once.

The 5Miinust / Puuluup collaboration by itself is charming enough, and if you want to know more about how it came to pass, I direct you to Overthinking It's very good video on Estonia's entry. And "Nendest Something Something," as @sole-cuore-amore-e-droga calls it, is the best kind of fun: chaotic at first listen, carefully constructed subsequently. I don't expect it to do well in Malmö. (I think "Europapa," which is also a seemingly chaotic song that turns out to have a lot more going on than its bouncy surface would first indicate, will win overall.) And I don't really care. I'm not sure 5Miinust and Puuluup care a huge amount about the scoreboard either. They've already recorded a full album together; they seem to be having a good time making silly videos for social media. They'd be my winners even without the added bonus, which is that these guys are absolutely giving idol-pop goodness.

I mean: go watch that Eesti Laul performance again. With the exception of the bridge, each performer gets his own solo time, a classic idol-pop move. There's choreo! And the styling: everyone shirtless under a suit jacket, but each suit jacket tailored slightly differently—that is such an idol-pop live-performance look. I cannot be the only person who clocked that Korea's suit is cut the same way as Nine's for "libidO" live stages, just more conservatively.

And the deeper you get into the 5Miinust rabbit hole, the more idol-pop-esque goofiness you find. Drag performances? Yep. Live radio performances with gimmicks? Here they are stripping to "Vamos." Super-dramatic award-show performances with loads of backup dancers? Here they are at last year's Estonian Music Awards. Do you need to learn the point dance? 5Miinust and Puuluup will combine forces to teach you the point dance.

And yet, talking about either (and both) of these groups as idols is a gloriously stupid idea, because "idol pop" suggests a willingness to subjugate themselves to audience demands that neither 5Miinust or Puuluup, for all their combined marketing skill, have. Idol pop historically depends on hierarchies—performers deferring to management, and, in a different way, to their audience—and that's not how 5Miinust or Puulup work. When I wrote up a guide to who's who for /r/eurovision, I said that Päevakoer is 5Miinust's maknae, and it was a joke because I'm pretty confident no one within 5Miinust has ever cared for one second who's older and who's younger. Just the fact that two different groups with a decade between them found creative inspiration in happily treating each other as equals gives the lie to the idol-pop framing. Nobody's bowing to Marko and Ramo. The whole idea is so far from how these particular performers relate to each other as to be nonsensical.

Which means: idol-pop goodness without stifling hierarchies; idol-pop goodness by people in charge of their own careers, who post goofiness on their own terms; idol-pop goodness combined with musical experimentation born of mutual respect. YES. YES. SIGN ME THE HELL UP.

(If it doesn't go without saying at this point, I would give a lot for my new faves to somehow meet my existing faves. Ninety One might not have enough English comprehension to make the meeting work, though. I think 5Miinust's ex-member Gameboy Tetris might speak Russian; whether he wants to speak Russian would be another story.)

I got lucky, and found people also willing to enjoy the 5Miinust-and-Puuluup-as-idols ironic glee. @sole-cuore-amore-e-droga really kicked things off by making that awesome lyrics video, and from there we got a line distribution video and a logo design for our fandom (Estoners) and photocards and a fanchant and a lightstick design and a "Gangnam Style" mashup and chibi art and then more chibi art. It has been one of the highlights of my past month, being able to giggle unreservedly with strangers. I haven't been able to do that in a long time.

Eurovision happens in two weeks, and then there will inevitably be a dropoff in activity, no matter where "(nendest)..." places. Without the Eurovision framework (and the English-language content that comes with it) I suspect most Estoners will move on. I'm still going to play the album, though, and keep an eye on these guys. Any chance to expand idol pop into more humane spaces, I'm going to take, no matter how silly it seems.

[meowjaa]

✧ parent teacher conference ✧

context: levi ackerman x fem!reader, parent teacher conference, y/n is a teacher, levi is an adult and mikasa is his little cousin, 3 part series <33

a/n: originally was going to make mikasa levi's little sister but changed my mind basically levi had to pick mikasa up due to her parents being busy at work (iykyk) and so that's when levi meets reader who is mikasa's teacher enjoy my loves also this will be a series <3

Levi was sitting on the couch while all he could hear was the chatter of Eren, Armin and Mikasa were all talking about a stupid tv show they've been fixated on. He had his phone in his hand as he lurked on y/n's instagram page photos of her classroom, or of her on vacation mostly his eyes fixated on the one of her in Los Angeles on the beach in a floral bikini...

A few weeks after the tense parent-teacher conference, Levi found himself back at Mikasa's elementary school for their annual spring carnival event. With her parents occupied with work as usual, Levi begrudgingly agreed to accompany his young cousin.

The schoolyard was transformed with booths, games, bouncy houses, and throngs of excitable children hyped up on cotton candy and popcorn. Levi stuck close to Mikasa, warily eyeing the chaotic scenes unfolding around them.

Mikasa eagerly dragged Levi from game to game, determined to win prizes at each one. He obliged, successful at ring tosses, balloon darts, and goldfish scooping thanks to his impeccable aim. Soon Mikasa's arms were loaded with stuffed animals and toys.

As they passed by the dunk tank, Levi heard a familiar voice call out, "Fancy seeing you here!" He turned to see Y/N perched above the water, volunteering to get dunked for the fundraiser event wearing a white shirt that was soon to be see through.

"Oh, Y/N," Levi said, caught off guard.

"Come on Levi, try to dunk me!" Y/N said playfully. Mikasa nodded excitedly.

With a reluctant sigh, Levi paid for balls and took aim. Y/N taunted him jokingly, saying there was no way he could hit the target. Levi's competitive side flared up.

With three rapidfire throws, he hit the bullseye each time, sending Y/N plunging down into the water again and again. Sputtering as she resurfaced, Y/N laughed.

"Cheater!" Y/N spoke up and all the kids around her started pointing their fingers and laughing including Mikasa.

Levi just shrugged, fighting off a small smile. He glanced at Mikasa who gave him a knowing look. Maybe this school event wasn't so intolerable after all.

After dunking Y/N multiple times at the carnival dunk tank, Levi felt an odd sense of satisfaction. As Y/N climbed out dripping wet for the final time, y/n's shirt very much see through she walked over to Levi and Mikasa.

"Good arm on you!" she said with a laugh. "I should've known better than to challenge an Ackerman."

Levi rubbed the back of his neck, uncharacteristically shy in that moment. "Well, you kept egging me on," he mumbled.

Mikasa piped up eagerly. "Can we go play more games, Ms. Y/N?"

Y/N smiled down at her. "Sure! I was just about to head over to the ring toss. Want to see if we can win some more prizes?"

Mikasa nodded and hurried off toward the game, leaving Levi and Y/N walking together.

"Thanks for bringing Mikasa today," Y/N said. "These school events mean a lot to the kids."

Levi just grunted in reply, unsure how to navigate small talk, especially with someone he had been so short with previously.

They made their way from game to game, with Mikasa accumulating more stuffed animals and Y/N enthusiastically cheering her on. Despite the noise and mayhem, Levi found himself almost…enjoying the atmosphere.

The day wound down and parents began collecting their kids. Mikasa went home happily clutching her pile of new toys.

As Levi turned to leave, Y/N called out, "Levi, wait!"

She walked up to him with a tentative smile. "Here, I wanted you to have this." She held out a stuffed penguin. "You know, as a thank you."

Levi accepted it, feeling his cheeks grow warm. Their fingers brushed lightly and his heart skipped a beat.

"I'll see you at the next conference?" Y/N asked hopefully.

"Yeah…see you then," Levi murmured. As he headed home, he thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad to attend another school event someday. Especially if it meant seeing Y/N's smile again...

part 3...

[clazberryk]

Well here it is the updated chapter of Difficult Truths Chapter two: Cut from the same cloth.

I feel like as i am developing my writing skills and getting a better feel of the characters this is stronger than previous. There are additonal parts that i have added as well. Its certainly significantly longer than previously, so iapologise about that.

Well without furtherado, please enjoy

Difficult Truths: Chapter 2 Cut from the same cloth:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56783278/chapters/144465073

Cut from the Same Cloth

Pain.

Searing Agony.

Unending Discomfort.

Life altering Anguish.

When the red crackling streak of chaotic magical energy started hurtling towards Astarion Taveleigha did not think twice to push him out of the way, it was instinct it was reactive, a love protecting the most important person in their life. Consequences be damned. Taveleigha knew going into this fight that she was naïve into thinking everyone was going to survive. Stupid naïve lost little elf girl. That voice was back taunting her, goading her. The voice was debilitating but true, the beast as she called it, returning now using her fathers voice to belittle her and her actions. Was it always her father’s voice? So much had happened today, so much emotional whiplash she could not recall how the voice sounded before. Clearly an unreliable source of information. What good was she if she could not even trust her own mind? If this were how she was going to die, she was happy, she had saved her lover, and she did not regret it, even now as the memories came thick and fast, one rolling over the other, she could not bring herself to regret pushing her vampire out of the way.

How could the Moonmaiden gift him with such a strange creature for a daughter? Something wrong, incorrect, unholy, and broken. Ketheric had never refrained from showing his displeasure with his youngest daughter, he showed and cursed the Moonmaiden in many ways, using fists, words, smites and gauntlets, anyway he could. Her body was a map of many bruises and scars. Her body was a roadmap of the pain she had suffered under Ketheric her father.

The scar on her cheek was from a backslap when she tried a guiding bolt and released a firebolt, the sting of a gauntlet, the grasp of the cold metal against her skin, old memories for her body but new for her memory. The large line on her sternum from the blade slicing into her and the inability for her to cast cure wounds, the experiment repeated over and over and over again. Years of abuse, the bruises, the cuts the derogatory names, all borne from grief for a mother she never knew. Her father disgraced by the Moonmaiden and then maiden of darkness, the goddess of shadow. Repeated hard hands, followed by softer ones from her older sister curing her wounds, singing her to sleep, protecting her, fixing her, but never taking her away.

A disgrace of the Thorm name, weeks of suspicions, and constant de ja vu, the vault in her mind conjured by her minds doing to protect her, the vault in her mind made to protect her heart, her body, her soul, her history, her disgrace, disintegrated because of a few simple words, as if it was never there. Maybe this was for the best, maybe this ending would stop so much damage and carnage in the future. Could she really make a difference in this world, win against these tadpoles, safe Astarion? Safe the world against Murkul, she laughed, it was desolate of emotion. Maybe she should have died at the hands of Ketheric all those many years ago. Isobel should not have died by that fireball she should have. Burnt up and exploded by her own chaotic magic.

Then all this would not have happened.

The memories came thick and fast now, unbridled, unimpeded, rolling one over another and another, too fast for her to focus on just one, where one started or she was just getting a grasp on it another overtook, pushed in demanding attention followed by another and then another. It was too much. She felt her consciousness fading around the edges, her vison even in her memories getting darker, she could feel the inky tendrils, she embraced them and welcomed the darkness. For once maybe she could have quietness, the calm, the lack of worry and no more pressure from everyone else expecting her and her companions to save the world. The only exceptional thing about her being she had been unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She could not even remember why she was in the Lower City of Baldur’s Gate on that fateful day, but now it did not matter. This way it was easy, it was simple. All she had to do was accept the abyss and darkness and not worry about the next step or the future.

Thump, thump, thump!

Thump, thump, thump!

Thump, thump, thump!

Thump, thump, thump!

Thump, thump, thump!

Thump…. thump…...thump!

Thump…. thump…...thump!

Thump…. thump…...thump!

Thump…. thump…...thump!

……thum…….th…….

……thum…….th…….

……thum…….th…….

……thum…….th…….

…………………………

…………………………

…………………………

…………………………

“Taveleigha” Astarion shook the elf, but he knew, he had felt and heard her heart splutter and give out, giving her life to save him “Tavi, Tavi, Tav, please, oh god no please” He felt a stinging around his eyes, this could not happen, this was not their future, this was not what he wanted. They had only just started, only just began learning from each other, soft strokes of shoulders, grasping of hands, soft kisses on cheeks, never followed up with pain.

“No, no, get up damn you” He was starting to differentiate between the ants on his skin and the warm glow around his dead broken heart, loosening the harsh cage that Cazador had imbued on him with each day he was compelled to do something his mind screamed against, but he could not break. They were learning to be two whole healthy healing people together, two partners, equals. “I need you” His voice cracked, he pulled her against him tighter, his lips found her forehead, her skin growing cold, and he grimaced, he could feel the necromantic smell of the dead on her taking root.

Her body was growing heavy, colder still, colder than him. Oh gods, anyone that can hear me please. He knew the truth though, no gods acknowledged him or answered his prayers his pleas, not even for his sorcerer, he felt a burning in his chest, he knew this he could sue his rage. “This is not the end. No this is not how we are supposed to end. Taveleigha GET UP!” He shook the small elf, he was not angry with her, he was angry with the world, taking the one thing he knew he could grow to love. Or did he love her already? He had felt something growing in his chest for a while, but he could not understand it. Now he knew he was learning to love, and love Taveleigha he would. To hells with everything else.

“Get up dammit, you stupid maddening woman. WAKE UP!” Astarion shouted shaking his elf, his voice hoarse with unshed tears. He bit back the bile as her head lolled against his shoulder, her neck at an unnatural angle, if she were alive, she would be holding herself up, but no there was no life in her.

Not here, not in Murkyl’s chamber, please gods no, please give her back. He stroked her cheek, pressing his forehead against her, there was nothing no smile, no closing of her eyes, no tilting of her chin awaiting and asking for a kiss, always following his lead.

She was too quiet.

She was too small.

She was too still.

He had not realised how much she moved, the tilt of her head when she was questioning something. The fold of her arms when she was annoyed or disbelieving of what someone had said. Her tongue sticking out when she was concentrating on something particularly difficult, or something that required her full attention. The way her chest raised with each breath. The way her fingers twisted and flexed at unimaginable angles when she was spell casting. Her little nose twitch when she was thinking or laughing, or the way her eyes shined bright one blue one violet, the snort of a laugh. The unconscious lean of her body when she was near him, the gentle squeeze of her hand in his before they went into battle. The square of her shoulders when she was uncertain but had to push forward. The little sigh after he kissed her, or how her little dextrous hands would grip his shirt when they kissed, the little moan at the back of her throat, his lips knowing that he kept her head quiet in those few seconds.

He could hear the fight still raging around him, but the tide had turned Taveleigha had made sure of that. There was no more necromites, and Dame Aylin was wreaking havoc on the avatar, each hit tried and true, even Karlach was making decent damage. He watched Tav in his arms, willing her to wake up, he reached with the tadpole again, but nothing reacted, her arms hung limply at her sides, her head resting against his shoulder, him holding her up, her feet were limp, dragging on the ground with every jostle.

Shadowheart and Jaheria started for the central platform, he shouted out for Shadowheart, but his voice was thin and non-existent, he coughed and then screamed. Weak feeble boy.

“SHADOWHEART” The half elf looked at him, she frowned and then saw who was in his arms, she gasped.

“God dammit get over here” He screamed, finally falling to his knees cradling his sorcerer in his arms, holding her with reverence. He did not notice that Shadowheart had made it to their side, how did she get here so quickly? he heard the creak of her armour as she knelt beside him, raising her arms above Taveleigha’s body.

“Lay her down” she instructed, and he followed, feeling himself getting colder and colder, his warmth currently dead beside him. No air flowing through her lungs, the pink apple of her cheeks pale, as pale as him, her life song as silent as his own heart, not beating, no blood pumping through her body. He watched as Shadowheart’s hands glowed the healing blue, muttering under her breath, he watched wide eyes, as Taveleigha’s eyes flew open and she gasped and coughed, her blood splattering across her teeth and over her mouth, she wildly looked around gasping, crying, groaning and not being able to focus on anything. Why did she always have to awaken the minute a little bit of healing magic entered her body, it always caused her more pain than she ever deserved.

“Tav, darling, you are ok, your alive. Keep. Breathing!” He ordered; he needed her to breathe. Astarion stroked her hair back from her eyes, as they finally landed on his, and the fear he saw in them almost made him cry out himself. He could not imagine what she looked like refusing to take his eyes away from hers. He moved his right hand to her cheek, gently brushing the tears away, she weakly raised her hand and held his wrist, she was cold and still had a green sheen against her skin of the necrotic magic still rushing through her body. “Fancy meeting you here” He smiled his lopsided smile that he knew got a reaction from her, and like clockwork her heartbeat quickened, and she laughed, and then coughed, grimacing.

“Ow” Her heartrate sped up, spluttering but still beating! Please stay beating.

“Can you not make her laugh please” Shadowheart growled, sweat developing on her brow as she focused on her healing, slowly, too slowly for Astarion’s liking, Shadowheart stumbled back onto her haunches, completely spent.

“I’m out” she grimaced knowing her friend needed more healing, she was still too weak, her smallest wounds only healing. Astarion could hear Tavi’s blood whirling through her veins and body, but not all of it was going to the right areas in her body. Shadowheart started looking through her pack but only found a small healing potion, she poured it down Taveleigha’s throat, ignoring Taveleigha’s protests.

There was an almighty bellow and a loud crash of metal on bone, and then silence, the original trio looked across to the platform and saw the avatar fail, crumble, and fall back into the abyss leaving a swirling green necrotic vortex which materialised into the beaten and broken body of Ketheric Thorm. The half elf fallen paladin reached out toward Taveleigha and she shrank at her father’s gaze. She pushed herself further into Astarion’s embrace, trying to melt her back into his chest, she was just a lost little girl. Lost little elf girl. She whimpered, and Astarion pulled her tighter against him, soothing hands, and gentle pressure of lips on the crown of her head.

“You came home” Ketheric whispered, voice hoarse and for the first time it looked like his eyes had cleared of the pain, the torment, the fatigue of the last one hundred plus years and saw his youngest daughter for the first time. Not an experiment, not as a failure but just as her.

Dame Aylin gutturally screamed and used the rest of her strength to deliver the final killing blow and crushed his body with the strength and weight of her armoured boot, taking much joy in doing so.

“He is dead” Nightsong rejoiced, her head looking up arms open wide, and she turned, for the first time since they released her, she looked happy. Aylin turned towards the red headed sorcerer, finally able to acknowledge her lover’s younger “Taveleigha, Tavi, Tavi, Tavi” Damn Aylin placed her hands on Tavi’s cheeks, pressing her forehead against hers “You have returned. True as before”

“Aylin” Taveleigha whispered, her memories clicking into place of meeting the woman when she was younger, liking the strong woman, but she did not know, she did not know she had originally killed Isobel. Aylin pulled the sorcerer into a bone crushing hug, but Taveleigha stayed rigid in the embrace, the paladin did not seem to notice though. So happy to see the only connection she had left to her love alive, and somewhat well. She was shocked when she saw her following behind Balthazar I the Shadowfell, angry thinking that she had come to kill her, but then quickly realised that Taveleigha had not recognised her.

“Balthazar come to add more bars to my cage” Aylin grimaced at rotund man, who was clearly no longer human, an undead abomination, she barely acknowledged the other four people with them, fighting against the soulless phosphorus hands binding her to the soul cage, binding her to Ketheric Thorm, one hundred years of torment. One hundred years of slavery and entrapment. Why was he here again? And with companion’s, no doubt tome come kill her and complete Goddess Shars Ritual to be a dark Justiciar, a stupid meaningless spiteful ritual, with her being the punchline. It was painful dying and being reborn over and over and over again, it caused a vengefulness to seep into the very marrow of her bones, and only grow in contentment. She lunged for the necromancer, but he simply stood there defiant and laughing, “Or perhaps to lead this would-be Justicar’s blade directly into my heart?” Aylin then acknowledged the others, there was a dark-haired half elf, a red Tiefling, a silvery haired pale elf, and a wild redhaired elf…. No, not the elf! No! Aylin stumbled back the anger growing hotter and hotter.

Taveleigha was alive, it cannot be. She was alive, and she had come to kill her. Ketheric had said both his daughters had fell, both his daughters gone from the mortal coil and yet here was Taveleigha, older, hair longer, eyes less bright but still here. NO! No! NOOO! Please mother maiden not her. Do not let Shar take her! She shrugged off the hands wrapped around her shoulders holding her back, a simmering fury.

“I invite you. Heap more sins upon you head, My retribution will be all the sweeter” Aylin smiled at Balthazar, knowing when she was free, she would gladly take The necromancers life, and then some. She knew her mother had not abandoned her. Knew she would get her revenge, whatever the day. But please? I beg of thee mother not Taveleigha, she has suffered enough.

“All this time and you fail to appreciate the gifts I bestowed on you, Aylin” Balthazar smiled a sinister smile, all Aylin did was glare at him. If looks could kill Balthazar would be dead. “Sad, to see a thing of beauty not recognise its own worth” Aylin glanced at Taveleigha, she was watching her and the necromancer carefully. Aylin then realised she was maybe not here to kill her, maybe the sorcerer could help free her, but still she was wary. This was clearly not the same Elf that she knew over one hundred years ago. Even she could tell just from a glance at the Red Head that a lot had changed in this century, and Tavelegiha herself had changed. Clearly, she did not remember the Aasimar, or if she did, she was putting on an exceptionally good front. She certainly had her fooled, either way. Aylin turned back to The Necromancer grimacing more as his wounds on his face contorted with his speech “However, General Thorm, he appreciates you. And he wants you nearby, so I am here to whisk you back to him.”

“Ketheric” Aylin spat on the floor, the name felt like bile in her mouth, of course this was all of Ketheric’s doing, the Oathbreaker, the disbeliever, the vile mortal who was the reason she was in this predicament. Oh, how I wish to cleave his body in two. “I welcome the sight of him, after these hundred years. He whose immortality I supply with my very soul” Aylin saw the started look on the unknown group, Taveleigha even stumbled back slightly, clearly, she did not know.

“GENERAL, Thorm” Balthazar interrupted, “I am sure you will be on your best behaviour. Just in case I have taken some” Aylin watched as he glanced at the group “Precautions shall we say” he smiled then, and Aylin stepped back, putting herself into a loose battle stance, she would be prepared for anything.

“KEEP BACK!” Balthazar snapped at the group, Aylin watched carefully as Taveleigha looked between Balthazar, Aylin, and the dark-haired half elf. “It will take some concentration to secure Aylin for her…”

“Wait, the Nightsong is a person?” Taveleigha interrupted, and Aylin felt a sliver of hope bloom in her chest, however she did not show it on her face.

“oh no little Elf, Aylin is not a person she is an immortal, the very daughter of Selune herself” Balthazar smiled, Taveleigha looked like an annoyed teacher had chided her.

“You are the one who interferes with Lady Shar’s bidding and for that you must die” Shadowheart interrupted, and Aylin looked at the half elf then, realising it was not Taveleigha that was here to kill her, but this half elf.

“Shadowheart…” Tavelegiha warned quietly “She’s a person.”

“Do not you suggest you know more than my Lady Shar. That you are more than her.”

“Shadowheart, you are better than this. You are not a murderer” Tavelegiha cried, and that bloom of hope grew brighter in Aylin’s chest. She was still Taveleigha, still sweet, little Tavelegiha that suffered so much pain at Ketheric’s hands but still managed to see the good in people. Still sort the better and worthiness of others.

“Enough snivelling, you should be terrified Godling, this plane will be your coffin” Balthazar snapped, and turned to the group of four, quickly things turned, and Aylin watched in horror fighting against her binds to help. She watched as the Tiefling bellowed in rage and started attacking the larger skeletons, the ones that could do more damage, she watched as Taveleigha countered whatever spell Balthazar threw at the group and as the silver haired elf slithered into the shadows but stayed close to the Sorcerer.

Aylin watched in horror as a sickly green stream went straight for Tavelegiha, but she managed to repel most of the damage with a shield, the iridescent orb around her for the next 5 seconds. Aylin was in awe of the full elf, she certainly had grown into her power, or at least managed to control her power whilst she was way, and she certainly knew she had gotten stronger, but still she was never one for hand-to-hand combat, and if those skeletons got close to her, she dread to think. However, Aylin need not have worried as the Pale elf, which she quickly learnt was a vampire, ensured no harm came to Isobel’s baby sister, which enabled her to fell Balthazar with a few quick shots of fire and lightning and as quickly as the fight started it was over. Taveleigha bent over, her palms on her knees breathing hard. Aylin watched silently as the vampire placed a gentle hand on her back and she smiled up at him.

Everything happened so quickly after the battle, that even Aylin was still in a state of confusion or bewilderment she was unsure, she was replenished and reconnected with the world, enabled, and no longer drained of her power. She turned to Taveleigha a triumphant smile on her face.

“Are you ready?” Aylin asked the sorcerer.

“For what?” She replied, confused.

“To Kill KETHERIC THORM” Aylin knew this is what Taveleigha wanted to hear, she could see it in the way her body reacted, her mind not remembered but her body certainly had remembered the torment it had suffered. Taveleigha nodded and watched as Aylin for the first time in over one hundred years took flight in the blessing of her mother’s light. it was time to end this.

Karlach reached down and removed the Neverstone from Ketheric’s armour, and before she could hand it to Taveleigha their guardian emerged from a portal.

“You fought well. Now we know, we are against the chosen three” The Guardian looked towards the group. Astarion grimaced and snarled, Karlach looked tired, learning the truth about Gortash, Nightsong looked happy, Jaheria looked just as tired as Shadowheart, and Taveleigha, looked broken. Something changed in her today, in this fight, tin this past month of traversing the shadow cursed lands. She did not have the usual optimism she carried before they reached the lands. She was worn down and broken. Astarion sensed it, in the way she held herself. Normally she stood tall, shoulders squared, jaw slightly tense but ready, now she was hunching in on herself, rounded shoulder, arms around her midsection, from pain but also from holding herself together. Nobody said anything to the Guardian as they told their group what to do next, and they walked through the portal. Astarion helping Taveleigha through. It was clear that Ketheric zoned in on her in the fight, whether it was because of her kinship with him, or because he knew she would be the most troublesome, either way Taveleigha felt like she was 18 years old again and her father was doing his experiments. It had been an exceptionally long time, and she did not have the energy to unpack everything.

Astarion watched as Tavi leaned against the double doors of Moonrise Towers, looking out in the distance, she looked so small, so worn, he was worried she was not going to make it back to The Last Light Inn. He was willing to bet all his gold that she would not. He glanced to Shadowheart as the half elf, nodded at him and then followed his gaze.

“She needs to rest. She also needs to heal more, and I do not just mean physically” She whispered,

“She is not accepting anymore healing, blaming herself for all of this” Astarion waved a hand towards the towers as well as the cursed lands around them. He felt a deeper connection with Shadowheart than the other members of their motley crew, probably because for so long on that beach in the beginning it was just him, Shadowheart and Taveleigha. If it were not mentioned in the camp that the three of them were a tighter knit group, it was never even brought up, but Astarion was also aware of what could be said in the unsaid. He could also divulge a little more with Shadowheart about their de facto leader. There was a camaraderie, not a friendship but a comfortableness that he was not about to ruin with the cleric. Especially as he was aware that his sorcerer and the cleric had grown closer over the weeks and months of their travels. If anyone out right asked him though he would deny it all.

“This is the consequences of a broken man. I am unsure of what she endured with him, but I saw glimpses, and I wish I could take it away, but the only way she will get through it is time” Astorian chuckled a humourless laugh, was that not what Taveleigha had been saying to him about Cazador, time heals all wounds. She was willing to give him time, the least he could do was the same for her. They were cut from the same cloth. Two sides of the same coin. That thought had two parts of him warring against himself, the darker part sniggering stating that her abuse was not as bad as his and the other, the stronger one stating it was pointless to compare others pain to your own. Everyone had some level of trauma they were carrying, and it did not make another person’s insignificant, it was the actions, how they healed that trauma and moved forward. He knew Taveleigha was worth saving, her soul would be saved, however for him he was not as sure.

“You have no idea” Isobel walked up to the pair, and looked out to her little sister, still disbelieving that the Elf that walked into The Last Light Inn a month ago and became The Harpers offence and saving grace was none other than her long-lost sister, who she had believed was dead, because her father had decreed it so.

“If it was that bad, why did you not take her away? Why did you not run? Why did you let her suffer!!!” Astarion snapped, he knew what that could do to a person, to live through that pain and torture daily. He hated to think what it would do to his sorcerer know that she had all her memories, he did not need her to tell him, he saw it in her face, he saw her eyes, they were so much dimmer than before. She was more cut off, more drawn into herself, and he was unsure if he could help her with this, purely because he did not know how. Had he not only recently managed to escape his tormenter and abuser himself?

“I do not know. I hoped he would change and accept Tavi. I did as much as I could, I healed her when he went too far, I hugged her as she cried herself to sleep. I fought with the man daily, but he was not my father anymore. But I was too blinded to see that his grief had completely consumed him and distorted him into a mimic of my father a shell of a man” Isobel looked down at the ground shame seeping out of her pours, but still Astarion did not care.

“You should have taken her far away. You are no better than him” He snapped, and then started walking towards his sorcerer. Shadowheart watched him agreeing but also too shocked because someone had said what they both were thinking. She turned to the other cleric.

“I’m sorry, it has been a long day” She tried to broker peace.

“That it has. But he is also speaking true” Isobel whispered her voice echoing her emotions. The two clerics watched as Astarion gently stroked Taveleigha’s shoulders and she looked up at him, he kissed her temple, and she closed her eyes and leaned on him.

The group eventually made it back to The Last Light Inn, Astarion with his arm around Taveleigha’s waist, holding her up, she was waning, and he could hear her heart slowing, but still beating and he could smell the changes in her energy.

“Come on my dear, nearly there” He swept his lips against her temple again and she whimpered, she just wanted to lay down and disappear. Taveleigha had purposely ignored Isobel, not able to understand or process all the new feelings and memories. She saw from a distance Dame Aylin and Isobel embracing the Aasimar twirling the half elf cleric around in a big circle. The two had tried to talk to her but she moved away to the entrance of the throne room. Not caring if she was being rude. She had wondered if her room was still how she left it or had that been destroyed as well.

Isobel watched as the vampire carefully and dotingly looked after her little sister, clearly Taveleigha had taken the brunt of their faither’s assault, and she was struggling, however still stubbornly refusing anymore healing. Isobel and Aylin tried to talk to her, but she just looked at the two of them with a faraway gaze and walked away, she did not want to admit it but that hurt more than learning that she was dead like she originally thought. It was clear to any observer that the pale elf loved Tavi a great deal, not so much in the words but by the way he held her with reference, it was soft, the gentle squeeze of their hands, the lips brushing her temples, the glances and checks to ensure she was ok and still in the present. The arm around her waist, hand resting on her hip, and lazily drawing circles all minute details but important, and her sister reciprocated, the two whether consciously or subconsciously naturally leaned against each other, their body’s always aware of where the other person was. It was a beautiful dance to watch and observe, a clear dance of two people in love or two people that have their trust in each other so unashamedly it was beautiful. Isobel watched as they rounded the corner at the just inside the inn and went upstairs not talking to anyone.

Astarion lead Taveleigha up the stairs on the left of the inn and into the bathroom. It was a large room made for communal bathing, however when he made sure Tav was sat securely on the bench and was not going to fall over or fall unconscious he drew the deadbolt across with a resounding screech of metal against metal. He glanced at his sorcerer and noticed she was not paying attention, lost again in her mind. He kept an eye on her heartbeat, the sound oh so lovely in his ear, and started the bath nearest to her, ensuring the runes for clean and hot water were working. Thankfully, they were. He looked around the room but noticed there were no clean linen for them. He reached out to Shadowheart with the tadpole, asking for clean clothes for both.

He stayed at the running bath, pulling unneeded air into his lungs. Today had been difficult. He just needed a moment. He needed to compose himself. Later he would deal, later he would assess his emotions, but currently right now he needed to be strong for Taveleigha, gods know she had done it for him many times over. It was the least he could do for her. Is this what it was like to be equals? No questions, no expectations just love for another person agreed to spend your life with? Was this what healthy looked like? Without the world ending bullshit obviously. Today had been the hardest on all of them, over the past month the win of saving the grove had felt further and further away in the past. However today it truly showed that the groups path forward was going to be a hard one on all of them. If this were the worst that Taveleigha was going to experience he would gladly accept that. Surely you are not that naïve, child. Wretched child. He did not wish to have a repeat of today for as long as they both lived. Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose and looked the heavens, turning to Taveleigha and grimacing, she had slouched in her seat, it was clear she was not in the present.

“Gods below” He muttered and marched over and knelt in front of her, gently grabbing her chin with his thumb and forefinger “Darling, let’s get you out of these robes” He muttered, she did not respond, her mismatched eyes looked through him, faraway glaze over them, she was seeing something else, something he was not privy to. Astarion gently started unclasping the buckles on her hips, not that her robes were armour, but they were magical to offer at least some armour protection. Astarion shuddered, thinking of the alternative if her robes did not have the magical enchantment. He truly hoped they could salvage the beautifully detailed and intricate robes, originally a beautiful pink and silver colour, however she had found some clothes dye, and coloured it a deep sapphire blue, making her uneven eyes pop and her red hair stand out more. He reached for the clasps at her neck, and when his fingers brushed against her skin under her jaw, she gasped and drew in a ragged breath, flinching at the connection. He stopped and held his hands up in peaceful surrender, showing his palms to her.

Goddammit! Astarion understood that reaction, he had that reaction many times when caught off guard.

“You are safe, my sweet. I have you” He whispered, not touching her, just being a calming constant present. She had done it many times for him during his episodes, he would do this for her. It was not even a chore or a difficulty, which took him by surprise. He wanted to take care of her. Astarion watched slowly, painstakingly slowly, as her eyes became clearer, they darted around the room, taking stock of the bath, the benches, the windows, the door, the deadbolt across the door looking for an escape before landing on him, he stumbled at the sorrow in them. Does she know how expressive her eyes are? Taveleigha crumbled against Astarion’s chest, gut wrenching sobs, unaware of if anyone else could hear her, she grasped at his black under armour shirt and for a second, he did not know what to do. Then he wrapped his arms around her back, her tears quickly soaked through the fabric and onto his chest, each tear burned his skin, but not because of him, but for her. Taveleigha fell further into his lap, unable to hold herself up, her body shaking, her sobs guttural and visceral, and all he could do was hold her and let this pass. fell into his lap unable to hold herself up and she just cried, painful guttural body wrecking sobs. A mirror image of her holding him after he explained his difficulties and his silly little plan only a tenday ago. Was it only a tenday ago? It had felt like weeks.

Eventually Taveleigha calmed she sniffled and looked up at Astarion. Gods below, what must they look like, a pile of limbs, Taveleigha encircled by his arms and legs, him holding and protecting her from the outside world as best as he could. This was unfamiliar territory for him, something he had never done before he was just as lost in the dark as her, however he did what felt right, stroking her hair and back as she felt her emotions and tried to make sense of her contradicting memories. Eventually she did come back to her senses, back to the present.

“I’m sorry” She mumbled “I didn’t mean too…” and started to pull away, very aware of how close their body’s where, how he held her with such kindness, this was clearly uncomfortable for him, even if he was not showing it well. What surprised her the most was when Astarion pulled her closer and held her closer.

“My love, never apologise for needing me” He smiled her favourite lopsided smile, and she snorted. There she is. Only he could find her snorts of laughter adorable. He pressed his smile against her lips. “Let’s get you cleaned up” He whispered against her skin.

“I can do this” She mumbled “You do not need to make yourself uncomfortable.”

“Oh, my love, you are a silly, silly woman” He laughed, and then tentatively brushed his lips against hers. Oh, I wish I could keep doing this, and I will show you how many times I want to do this. She responded with reverence, her little dextrous fingers wrapping into his shirt, she moaned, and that caused him to react involuntarily, he pulled her tighter against him, her knees going on either side of his hips, and he traced her lower lips with his tongue. He moved down to her jaw, her neck, his bite mark, his place in her neck, he took a deep breath. He did not want to do this here. Well, that is something new. He stayed against her neck, waiting for the crawling to fall across his skin but it did not happen, it was because they were fully clothed, but he was unsure, however it was something he wanted to just keep doing. “I am unsure of many things, but this, this of which, I am sure. This is nice” He smiled, and held her gaze, he saw something flash in her eyes, but it was quick before the guard went up, her insecurities again. They really were similar. He pressed his lips against hers again, this was just a kiss he could do for the rest of their lives. A sweet kiss, an everyday kiss between partners, equals. A kiss that is shared and the know that you would do it for the rest of their lives.

Enjoy: @roguishcat @shewhowas39 @asweetlovesong @bellasmumblingsandmusings @marlowethebard

[mikuni14]

Ngl, but I will say that The Sign has been failing me for the last 3 episodes and I don't vibe with this series like I did at the beginning. As a matter of fact, I have the impression that episodes 1-5 are completely different than episodes 6-8.

First of all, an explanation: I watch BL series for pure escapism, I really expect nothing else, but to have a nice time watching the romance of beautiful boys 😎 I don't add any high values, any ideology, I don't have ANY high expectations from BL series, I'm an old school fujoshi. Life is shitty as it is, what's happening around us is depressing - I just need a break from reality, which was previously given to me by books, manga, anime, and now mainly by BL series.

If a BL series tries to be something more, gives me something beautiful, deep, that gives me food for reflection and analysis, such as The Eighth Sense, then I treat it as something extra, like an additional bonus, a gift from the benevolent BL gods 😀 I don't take it for granted as something that, idk, has to be there. For me, BL series are supposed to give me a good time, they have to spark joy (and what never ceases to amaze me is how, with such minimal expectations, so many series still can't do even this minimum lol). Despite everything, I can forgive a lot, as long as the couple and their romance make me feel good. Like, A LOT.

The Sign in episodes 1-5 was EXACTLY what I expect from BL series: a killer couple, great chemistry between the actors, an interesting story (even if stupid and chaotic at times). I praised this series for Phaya and Tharn (emphasis on Tharn) and their MANY high-quality scenes together. Their romance was tender and hot at the same time, the attraction between them was visible from the beginning, their relationship developed logically and linearly, the series made me feel joy and hope.

But something broke down from episode 6. The romance went into strange fluctuations, depressive lows and sudden bursts of euphoria, the number of their shared, high-quality scenes decreased dramatically, in episode 6 there were even no such scenes, and in 7 and 8 I counted like 2 of them. I CONSTANTLY GO BACK TO THEIR SCENES FROM EPISODES 1- 5, AND FROM EPISODES 6-8 I ONLY GO BACK TO ONE.

What else I loved about PhayaTharn's relationship was how equal they both are in the relationship. Since episode 6, there is no equality, the person who is constantly striving and fighting for their relationship and constantly giving of himself is Phaya. And only Phaya is shown as someone who even has a nervous breakdown due to being rejected by Tharn. Tharn is shown as if everything he does is calculated coldly, the lack of contact with Phaya is not shown as if it was even some kind of nuisance for him. Tharn became a double victim of the script and the narrative: firstly, because he is a character who is afraid that Phaya will die and therefore rejects him, and secondly, the script is unable to present it in a way that is sympathetic to Tharn. I know that Tharn is afraid. But it's not about what I know, but how I perceive it. And I perceive Tharn with irritation. (in The Eight Sense, Jae Won also rejected Ji Hyun after the accident, but in this case I knew why he did it and in addition, the series presented Jae Won in such a way that my heart bled for him. That's what a good story is, it makes me feel satisfied when looking at the scene and the characters both objectively and emotionally)

Another thing that is starting to take away from my enjoyment of watching this series is the constant leaks and spoilers that suggest a breakup, Tharn's "sacrifice" for Phaya, that somehow karma and Chalathon will win and love and Phaya will lose. Just yesterday I listened to a song sung by Babe and read the lyrics of this song… I'm, ok, like, it's totally not my style lol. This is no longer my escape from reality, reality has caught up with me in my yaoi dream 😂

Saturday was The Sign day for me, I never made any plans just to be able to watch the show when it came out. But guess what, I might have potential plans for this Saturday and after my first reaction of "no, I have to watch The Sign", my second thought was whether I really wanted to watch an episode that would probably be depressing again, with maybe one nice scene, and that's assuming that Phaya will wake up? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess I'm not in a rush 😄

I also want to say that on instagram I mostly see stuff about Babe and Billy, and the tag the sign on tumblr is kept alive thanks to the heroic efforts of about 3 good people lol whatever content appears, 90% are scenes from old episodes and from new ones, there are mostly from the love scene. Soooo, I suppose people are not too hyped about recent episodes as well... 🙂

Anyway, I am begging this series to bring back the vibe and way of presenting PhayaTharn's story from its beginnings. I have nothing against angst, tears, even temporary breakups (during the series, NOT at the end). This is how it was in The Eighth Sense, MoD, LoA, To Sir, With Love, and in fucking The Untamed where the breakup lasted for years and The Angst was served in BUCKETS lol. But what I want is for their love to be their strength, for watching them together to give me pleasure and joy. I would like to see more scenes with them, even if they were fighting (not this rejection/ cold days bullshit), but for them to be together and for there to be some good emotions. I want to return to the obsession this series made me feel, to endlessly analyze their scenes together, to blush and squeal like a little girl. And not to wait with increasing dread for the ending like in MODC 😶

(besides, the series just became a little boring and even more chaotic, like, I don't even know (and care for that matter) whose body they pulled out of the water in the last episode and how many open cases they are having at the same time lmao and now there will be also Tharn's personal revenge, this is crazy 😂)