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yukipri · 3 years ago

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Bad Batch end of season thoughts/ramble, bc it's been a week and I just wanna get it all off my chest...

(end of season spoilers and very disorganized rambling)

First off, I do want to say that I enjoyed watching the show. It fulfilled its primary purpose: entertainment. It was nice having something to look forward to every week, and even though it wasn't quite what I was expecting, it was fun. The animation was gorgeous, I liked all the references and tie ins. I will likely watch it again, and will watch season 2. This is by no means meant to be a hate post.

That being said, it is critical so please just skip if you're not into that!

The thing is...it takes very, Very little for me to love a clone. He doesn't need lines, or a face, or even a name, and the default is that I will love him. He can even be a little bastard, like Slick, and it's fine. I always want to know more about them, and wish they had more screen time and time in general to develop their characters. So given that we were getting 16 (20 eps total if we count TCW S7 pilot arc) centered around these guys, I was expecting to absolutely adore them by the end.

And I wanted to love the Bad Batch, I wanted to love them so damn much, and I tried. But I think one of the reasons why they never fully clicked for me was that their thing seems to be "we're unique, we never fit in, we're outsiders in our own home, among the people who are supposed to be our own family, and so we've found our home with each other."

Which! That's usually a wonderful message, and not a particularly rare or unique one either for stories! I usually dig these kinds of stories!

The problem here is the extremely unique situation of the clones. They are literally created to be identical, brain washed to be uniform. They must conform, or are killed off by their creators, and their conformity isn't a choice in the slightest, but one of fear and necessity.

Their uniformity is something that they are also entirely aware of--it's unavoidable, they're clones. Once out in the real galaxy, they all strive to find and establish unique identities for themselves, struggling against a galaxy that just wants them to be faceless products. It's a shared struggle, and all they have are each other, and their brotherhood is sacred as a result. Shunning unique identity is the opposite of who a clone is--it's what they all want.

So on one hand, it's understandable that the Batch stuck out (when all others who would have also stuck out were culled, when individuality isn't allowed). It's understandable that they would have yearned for the brotherhood shared by the other clones, and when they couldn't have it, they stuck closer to each other. It's even understandable that they would feel bitter, having experienced bullying at the hands of the other clones (but isn't it also understandable that the other clones would feel bitter that the Batch gets special treatment, when their own brothers with less-than-beneficial mutations were taken by the Kaminoans to never return?).

And so we have this batch of clones, who the Kaminoans call "mutated," but also specify that their mutations are "desirable" (implying what happens to mutations that are undesirable...). They have their own unique unit, in which they're able to improvise and act freely with seemingly little to no oversight, so long as they complete their mission. No Jedi to obey, no nat-born officers who look down on them. In fact, they look so different from standard clone troopers that most of the galaxy probably don't even know they are clones. They have their own ship (personalized), they have their own possessions (which we don't really see any other clones have), they have their own barracks (probably also very unique), and they even have access to superior weapons and armor (most of the Batch, minus Echo, seem to be wearing modified Katarn-class armor which is supposed to be for Commandos. we KNOW it holds up better than standard trooper armor).

So I'm sure they had some unpleasant experiences growing up, and I do get it. But at least at "present" end of clone wars, they honestly seem to be living infinitely better than all other clones? They still need to follow orders but they have more freedom, and perhaps most importantly, they have clear uniqueness that is denied almost all other clones. And yes, some of the clones on Kamino bully them, but we've seen NONE of the "regular" clones that we know to be particularly nasty to them, and in fact it's Crosshair who starts it by calling them "Regs."

And how does the Batch respond to this situation? By acting superior. It's Crosshair who says and it believes this firmly, and I do feel that the others are likely mostly influenced by this, but it's also true that Hunter, Wrecker, and Tech don't really deny this either. They don't like the "regs," they do act like they're "better." Poor Echo, who they repeatedly seem to forget is in the room, and who they call "machine" and such...yikes yo

So I guess the point is, I just really struggled to feel sympathetic towards them, and was already on a kinda eh about their premise. They're marketed as "the special clone squad"--and yet they're not nice to the clones I love. I thought that wasn't great, but also hoped that the series would work towards them understanding the other clones better, and I love character development so that woulda been fine--but, nothing. A glance from Hunter at Howzer. Extended camaraderie from Gregor, who I feel they mostly just tolerate for the mission, other than Echo who genuinely cares.

And on top of feeling not feeling particularly sympathetic towards what I saw as a pretty privileged group of clones, the Batch seems to place primary blame of their woes on the "regs" themselves, who again, honestly seem far worse off! There isn't blame directed at the people who demanded the conformity from the other clones in the first place, that made it so the Batch couldn't fit in. The Batch was modified due to the Kaminoans (and implied specifically Nala Se). She's the reason why they don't fit in. And the Kaminoans are also why the other clones have to be so uniform, why they must fight to be people and not products.

Bitterness and pettiness can be fine in characters. But it's frustrating to see in a group supposed to be competent and elite, especially when those feelings have consequences. Sure, it sucks when someone throws a food tray at you. You can throw food back. It's not an equal reaction to feel no remorse when you shoot that guy dead in a blaster fight, when for all other clones, having to kill another clone is one of the most horrible, tragic things that one can do (thanks, Umbara).

Fives was the only clone to actually point a blaster at Nala Se.

We know Omega has deeply personal history with Nala Se. She was Nala Se's personal medical assistant. We see her cry when she takes off her head ornament that matches Nala Se. We know that being back in the lab gives Omega complicated, and probably not entirely positive feelings. But we barely learn more about this relationship, other than these glimpses.

And I get the feeling that to Omega at least, Nala Se wasn't all terrible. If Omega grew up with mostly only Nala Se for company, she had to have gotten her sheltered outlook on life, and her willingness to help others from somewhere. Nala Se intentionally let Omega go, to be "safe."

I think Omega's adorable, and I do like her. But I wasn't able to fully love her to the extent I wanted to, because there was always the fear that she was involved in the creation and implantation of the chips. She knows about them, she would have been positioned to do so. I want to think she would never, and I was hoping the show would reassure us of that, but it never did. We don't actually know how Omega feels about Nala Se, or even the chips and their presence in other clones. Instead, all we know is that Omega doesn't like "regs."

And again, "they call me lab scrubber," and "I helped put (or am complicit in putting) mind control devices in their heads," are kinda, unequal. Again I hope it's not the case. But it definitely kept me feeling uneasy throughout the show.

It really boils down to I don't trust or forgive Nala Se, and the Batch's lack of stance against her and the other Kaminoans, and clear distaste for their other clone brothers, really puts them in a situation that makes it difficult for me to take their side entirely.

And then gosh, Hunter. During Crosshair's whole "you never came back for me," spiel, I couldn't help but think he's kinda right. He had 15 episodes. Sure, it's difficult to get Crosshair back. But they could have done something. They could have done research. We could have had scenes of them wondering where Crosshair is, discussions on how best to find him, even if that discussion ended in, "but we can't risk it right now." They could have grilled Omega for information on the chips, which they really shoulda done either way, but especially since that knowledge is important to understanding what (they thought had) happened to Crosshair. Instead, they just ran every time Crosshair showed up. The show could have done better to show that they cared, and were trying, instead of just, y'know, doing chores for Cid. One, "I kinda miss him," doesn't really count as working on getting him back, at least in my books.

The sole exception to all of this, of course, is Echo. Who really, he works with the Batch fine, he's a former ARC and can more than keep up. Skillset-wise, he fits in well enough. But this season really made me wonder why he's with them at all. Crosshair's revelation and true feelings at the end of the season were no surprise to me, as they're consistent with what we've seen of him from TCW S7. But for Echo, a former "reg" to have to work with someone like Crosshair...even if Crosshair thought Echo was "different" enough to accept him, those are his brothers that Crosshair thinks he's so superior to, and has no issue speaking disdainfully about.

The increasing tension between Echo and Hunter, Echo's interest in helping Rex, in helping other clones, in doing something...I do hope they reach a point where Echo demands they go help, or he's leaving.

They gave Crosshair a chance, despite the fact that his choices were willing. I really hope Echo can convince the Batch to help save the other clones who don't have a choice. Because even if the Batch doesn't consider them their brothers, they're certainly Echo's. They matter just as much as Crosshair, and I really hope season 2 shows it narratively.

To conclude, again I'm interested in seeing what happens next, and I want answers about Omega and Nala Se. I find it interesting that they tied the facility where they took Nala Se in with the scientist dude collecting data on Grogu in the Mandalorian and those cloning labs. All of this is interesting, but at the same time I feel like it's trying to build up to Snoke/Palpatine stuff in the sequels which...I don't care nearly as much about, but who knows, could be neat ^ ^;

I'm okay with, and have made peace with the fact that the Bad Batch probably isn't the "clones-centric" show I wanted, and that they'll continue their own story, and probably continue to not care much about other clones in upcoming seasons. That's unfortunate, but alright. I'm interested enough in their story too.

But at the same time...I can't help but think man, if they have the time and budget to do a season 2, after seeing what was (or wasn't) accomplished in season 1...I wish they'd also make a Rex/Cody/Wolffe/"regular clones" show, because in the end, if you're going to do a "clones show"....that's who I want to see most.

If you got to the end, thank you for reading, and being an ear to my ranting ^ ^; Again this is literally just getting this off my chest. If this take isn't one you agree with, please just ignore. For people who did fall in love with the Batch, I'm happy for you, and regret that it just couldn't happen for me. But, I'm hoping that S2 will change my mind, but we'll just have to see! ^ ^;

#the bad batch #bad batch #YukiPri rambles #really i'm not interested in a debate i just want to ramble

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tomakeitbeautifultolive · 4 years ago

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Something I've been wondering about: If Jon comes back as a fire wight like Beric Dondarrion and unCat, will he be able to get it up? Blood won't really be flowing in his body anymore, so would his dick be powered by fire magic or something like that?

I, too, have spent a great deal of time pondering Jon Snow’s dick, Anon. 😏 Jokes aside, I will admit right off the bat that most of what I have to offer is total speculation, but over-thinking the most minor details of ASOIAF happens to be my favorite pastime, so let’s go!

Like pretty much everyone who read the quote, I was totally thrown off by the “fire wight” revelation. Here’s the quote for reference:

“..poor Beric Dondarrion, who was set up as the foreshadowing of all this, every time he’s a little less Beric. His memories are fading, he’s got all these scars, he’s becoming more and more physically hideous, because he’s not a living human being anymore. His heart isn’t beating, his blood isn’t flowing in his veins, he’s a wight, but a wight animated by fire instead of by ice.”

So, an important distinction to make here is that this quote is about Beric Dondarrion specifically, not Jon Snow.

The condition of Jon Snow’s corpse might matter

George can be very clever with how he words things. Note that he goes into Beric’s deaths, describing multiple resurrections and how he’s falling apart before stating that his heart is no longer beating. It could be that a fresh “fire wight” might still possess bodily functions—at least at first. Catelyn, too, was a very sorry looking corpse by the time she was reanimated, therefore not a great comparison, either. Especially since it’s Beric rather than Thoros who, with very little life force to lend, resurrects her.

If nothing else, Jon will be “fresh”, and his location at the Wall means the low temperatures will help preserve his body even if the resurrection takes some time.

And speaking of the Wall… there happens to be a special lady there who could help Jon, and whose powers happen to be amplified by the magic of the Wall...

Melisandre is profoundly more powerful than Thoros of Myr

Thoros may be a red priest, but otherwise he seems to be a pretty normal human man. We get a clue about when he converted from Jaime:

“Jaime had once heard Thoros tell the king that he became a red priest because the robes hid the winestains so well.”

Relatively recently, one might guess, as most children aren’t yet drunks. Further, he was never very dedicated to his faith, even questioning it at times.

Melisandre, on the other hand...

“Melisandre had practiced her art for years beyond count, and she had paid the price. There was no one, even in her order, who had her skill at seeing the secrets half-revealed and half-concealed within the sacred flames.”

While we don’t know much about her, this confirms that she spent countless years studying her craft, and no one in her order can match her skill. And no one believes in their faith more than Melisandre. Like in the television series, it’s a safe bet that she’s actually much older than the natural human lifespan, particularly if she managed to lose count of how many years she’s studied magic.

If Melisandre is the one to resurrect Jon Snow, she might not use a ‘last kiss’ method at all, or, if she does, it could be more powerful than anything Thoros is capable of.

Unlike Beric, Jon Snow is probably the prophesied prince

Speaking of Melisandre’s ability to glimpse secrets in the flames… there’s someone she sure seems to see a lot of:

“I pray for a glimpse of Azor Ahai, and R'hllor shows me only Snow.”

“Skulls. A thousand skulls, and the bastard boy again. Jon Snow.”

“The flames crackled softly, and in their crackling she heard the whispered name Jon Snow. His long face floated before her, limned in tongues of red and orange.”

I know. There is some contention about who the Prince that was Promised is. Regardless of whether you agree that it’s Jon Snow, you’ve got to admit that Melisandre is seeing him in the flames for a reason. And if he’s not the prophesied prince, then perhaps his blood has something to do with it. It’s likely that, for some reason, the combination of Targaryen and Stark blood matters. At least, Rhaegar Targaryen seemed pretty convinced...

Whatever Jon Snow’s business is in Westeros… it’s unfinished. And part of that unfinished business might just involve becoming a father.

The emphasis put on Jon fathering a child is notable

Let’s go back to Jon’s first chapter ever. It opens with Jon at Robert’s feast, the author uses Jon’s eyes to describe the setting and multiple characters. And then enters Benjen Stark. This is when we really get to know Jon. When you read this passage, really consider the author’s intent here:

"You don't know what you're asking, Jon. The Night's Watch is a sworn brotherhood. We have no families. None of us will ever father sons. Our wife is duty. Our mistress is honor."

"A bastard can have honor too," Jon said. "I am ready to swear your oath."

"You are a boy of fourteen," Benjen said. "Not a man, not yet. Until you have known a woman, you cannot understand what you would be giving up."

"I don't care about that!" Jon said hotly.

"You might, if you knew what it meant," Benjen said. "If you knew what the oath would cost you, you might be less eager to pay the price, son."

Jon felt anger rise inside him. "I'm not your son!"

Benjen Stark stood up. "More's the pity." He put a hand on Jon's shoulder. "Come back to me after you've fathered a few bastards of your own, and we'll see how you feel."

Jon trembled. "I will never father a bastard," he said carefully. "Never!" He spat it out like venom.

Suddenly he realized that the table had fallen silent, and they were all looking at him. He felt the tears begin to well behind his eyes.

This is how George R.R. Martin chooses to introduce us to Jon Snow. And gods, that always hits me right in the gut. It’s absolutely supposed to. Jon’s trembling, venomous anger is palpable. You feel the deep hurt and resentment in his words, right down to his core. Jon says he doesn’t care—but the bite in his words and the tears welling in his eyes tell us otherwise.

Jon Snow easily embraces his vow of celibacy. At first. And then comes Ygritte. And after getting his first taste of love and later flirting with the idea of becoming a lord when it’s offered to him by Stannis, Jon Snow begins to imagine what it might be like to have a wife...

“I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall.”

And look what happens the moment he does dare to dream of it...

“I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister's son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly's boy as well. Sam would never need to tell his lie. We'd find a place for Gilly too, and Sam could come visit her once a year or so. Mance's son and Craster's would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb.

He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade.”

And the feeling transitions into an almost tangible hunger felt by his wolf, Ghost.

Speaking of Ghost…

Grab your tinfoil! ‘Cause Jon’s life might’ve already been ‘paid for’ ...By Daenerys

First… in case you didn’t know, Daenerys is probably a skinchanger:

“The slightest pressure with her legs, the lightest touch on the reins, and the filly responded. As she turned to ride back, a firepit loomed ahead, directly in her path. A daring she had never known filled Daenerys then, and she gave the filly her head.”

Basically, it goes like this:

As Daenerys wanders the Dothraki Sea in search of food after being whisked away by Drogon, she hears a wolf’s howl.

“Will (Ghost) howl for me when I'm dead, as Bran's wolf howled when he fell?”

Feeling lonely yet no less hungry, she eats some strange green berries. Her stomach begins to cramp.

“My flesh will feed the wolves and carrion crows, she thought sadly, and worms will burrow through my womb.”

Unfortunately, Daenerys then experiences some horrible diarrhea. Poor girl! I don’t bring it up to be crass, but because this purge bears striking resemblance to an earthly drug called Ayahuasca—a substance that, aside from emptying your bowels, is often used as a means to ‘open your third eye’ (Just as Bran does in the crypts, and he can finally reach Jon and Ghost…)

Dany falls asleep and begins experiencing trippy dreams about her brother—perhaps even achieving contact with the other side? Then...

“When she woke, gasping, her thighs were slick with blood.”

Assuming it’s nothing more than her period, Dany begins to wonder the last time she bled—hinting that it might’ve been a little while.

“The sight of so much red frightened her. Moon blood, it's only my moon blood, but she did not remember ever having such a heavy flow.”

Maybe a bit of a stretch, I know. But… this wretched and graphic scene of Dany’s loose bowels really made me wonder what in seven hells George was thinking. I was so embarrassed for Dany that I HAD to figure out why he’d do this to her.

And my best guess is that she’s using these latent skinchanging abilities to tap into this strange connection with the “blue rose” over at the Wall of Westeros and the silent wolf who finally howled for help upon his death… And so, Dany’s miscarriage may be the death that will pay for Jon’s life.

I might’ve found some more evidence to back this claim up, this is very new ‘evidence’, so bear with me:

“Fire”, in the world of ASOIAF, often translates to “life”. As is seen here in Sam’s speech following Aemon’s death (thanks, bridge4!):

“He was the blood of the dragon, but now his fire has gone out.”

Further, according to the wiki:

“When a follower of the Lord of Light dies, priests fill their mouths with fire and breathe flame into the deceased”

In the House of the Undying, Dany receives a series of chilling prophecies, one of which happens to be about fires:

“Three fires you must light, one for life, one for death and one to love”

I know, I know. Drogo’s pyre, the Khals, etc etc. But George might be playing with double meanings here… So, if we think of fires as conceptions, this could maybe mean:

One in exchange FOR the Dragon’s lives (Life)

One in exchange FOR Jon’s resurrection (Death)

One conceived (likely with Jon) and carried to term (TO love)

Food for thought! Especially considering that, like Jon, Dany possesses the blood of Old Valyria, and these sacrifices are probably all the more powerful as a result. But even if I’m dead wrong about that prophecy, well, fire still broadly means life, which bodes well for our brooding ‘bastard’, who might just end up as a “fire wight”.

Hopefully something in this drivel has given any Jon fans reading this a little bit of faith that, despite the slight setback of death, Jon will still be able to exercise his, uh, virility when he finally meets Dany. 😅 Thanks for the ask!!

#answered #jon snow #fire wight #resurrection #jonerys #asoiaf theories #asoiaf speculation #my theories #loving the asks since I can't do much else while recovering #keep 'em coming if you got 'em!

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flourchildwrites · 4 years ago

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One is All, All is One

Izumi Curtis: Passing Housewife, Master Alchemist and... Teacher? It's more likely than you think.

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga

Relationships & Characters: Izumi Curtis/Sig Curtis, Pinako Rockbell, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric

Genre: Family Feels, Alchemy Training, TW Canonical Reference to Child Loss

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word Count: 3,076 words

A/N: Happy (belated) holidays, @ratsbys! I'm your pinch-hitter for the @fmasecretsanta2020. When I saw that you liked Izumi Curtis, I couldn't help myself. She's my favorite character (hence my AO3 pseud). Thank you for waiting so patiently for your gift. I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed creating it for you.

Read on AO3

“How can I say no to that? Of course, they may go.”

Izumi is almost taken aback by the ease of Pinako Rockbelk’s answer, but there seems to be a lot of that reasoning going around today. Perhaps, this is just the effect that the Elric brothers have on ordinarily reasonable people. Housewives suddenly agree to become teachers, and trusted guardians allow their wards to live with strangers while studying alchemy.

“My husband and I run a butcher shop in Dublith,” Izumi explains. “If the boys pass a preliminary test, they would live there with us while I teach them. I would also insist they train in martial arts to provide a practical application for their skills. Both aspects of the training are rigorous. Many pupils wait until they are older to learn.”

Pinako smiles congenially. “Dublith sounds like a nice place, and I think you will find both boys are ready to learn what you have to teach, especially if they are allowed to do it together.”

The short, elderly mechanic sits opposite Izumi and puffs happily on her long pipe. She answers each question with ease, and the passing housewife realizes that Pinako’s demeanor is unshakable. She might be doing something as mundane as ordering breakfast at her favorite local restaurant, not handing over custody of two young boys to complete strangers.

The thought almost makes Izumi smirk before she remembers where they are, a small farming town named Resembool that sits precariously close to the troubled Ishvalan territory. In this town, the sheep outnumber the people, and though there might have been charming restaurants dotting the streets surrounding a bustling train station in the past, this progress was wiped away by the 1907 terrorist attack. Resembool, much like their residents, gives the appearance of a pastoral paradise, but beneath the pretty picture, there lies loss and hardship. Honestly, Izumi isn’t surprised that Alphonse and Edward want to travel for alchemy lessons; however, she is wary of the fact that Pinako, their guardian, will so casually allow it.

“Dr. Rockbell,” Izumi entreats, mindful of automail textbooks lining a nearby bookcase that prominently bear the elderly doctor’s honorific on their spine.

“It’s Pinako, dear,” she corrects with gentle (but firm) intonation.

Izumi grins awkwardly in reply and sets down the tea that young Winry served them earlier. It smells divine—ginger tea with a hint of lemon and mint, but she has no stomach for it.

“Pinako, the training I specialize in can be physically and spiritually trying, especially for children. Unfortunately, I can’t make exceptions.”

“Nor would I ask you to,” Pinako is quick to respond. “The boys’ father was an accomplished alchemist, and they’ve been playing around with it ever since they were old enough to read. I would rather them learn under the guidance of a master. Forgive me for being blunt, dear, but I believe the real question is if you think you are ready for students.”

Pinako takes a drag from the end of her pipe and exhales in a steady stream. Izumi is grateful for the warm smoke clouding the sunny sitting room as the old woman peers through the glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. Her question cuts dangerously close to the quick. The Flamel on the left side of Izumi’s chest pulses when she hears the word “master” and thinks of the boys as they are: alchemy students, perhaps, but first and foremost, they are children—something Izumi has too little and too much experience with.

Is she ready? For children under her roof? For students eager to learn a skill that left her marred?

The grandfather clock on the sitting room wall counts three seconds before Izumi is pulled out of the mire of her mind by the comforting pressure of Sig’s hand on her knee, and when he speaks, it is with a gruff softness that makes her heart swell.

“We would have no trouble looking after the boys, though I think my wife wouldn’t want to deprive the boys’ father the opportunity to train them.”

At the mention of the absent man, Pinako tilts her chin downward; shadows deepen her wrinkles. “I’m told he has his reasons. Still, Edward and Alphone’s father deprives himself of the opportunity to train his sons well enough on his own without anyone else helping him. You would not be intruding.”

Her short arm leans toward the coffee table separating the couple, and she places her pipe in a metal ashtray before bringing her hands to rest in her lap.

“I never was an overbearing parent,” she states, “and I am also not as young as I once was. Some days, these old bones feel too tired to look after three children. Winry’s interest in automail is something I can manage, but alchemy is beyond my field of expertise. Edward and Alphonse would greatly benefit from some vigorous direction to channel their passion, and I sense in Izumi a tireless spirit.”

Sig beams down at his wife in agreement.

“If dear Trisha, their mother, were here, I believe she would agree. They are determined to learn alchemy, and they have the gift to perform it. But they can’t do that properly in Resembool, so I will allow the boys to train with you if you are agreeable.”

Izumi isn’t sure what persuades her, be it a reason or a feeling, but her resolve requires nothing more than her husband’s agreement. Likewise, when she looks to Sig and finds his burly face full of admiration, she knows they are of the same mind. The boys will return to Dublith with them, and if they pass the test, Izumi will teach them the art of alchemy.

“I will consider them as students,” Izumi announces, “provided they have the perseverance to learn alchemy. They may not be ready, but there’s only one way to be certain. I will test them as I was tested. We’ll see where they stand after a month.”

To the couple’s surprise, Pinako chuckles at the prospect of Edward and Alphonse not being ready as if she knows something Izumi and Sig do not. With business concluded, the three adults rise from their seats and prepare themselves for the short walk to the nearby Elric family home to tell Edward and Alphonse the good news.

...

One is all; all is one.

This is the basis of alchemy. It is a lesson that the boys must learn, divined in isolation through the cycle of life itself. And until her new apprentices speak this law into being, Izumi cannot teach them. They must figure it out by themselves.

She takes Pinako’s words to heart and does not shy away from the vigorous direction the good Dr. Rockbell prescribed. Edward and Alphonse will be instructed in the same manner Izumi was taught. They land upon a nearby island with soft sand, warm water and lush greenery that teems with life. The passing housewife breathes in the humid air and pushes the last of the city smog from her lungs. She doesn’t think about the ache in her belly during moments like these. It is all part of the same alchemical cycle. Each end engenders a new beginning.

And honestly, this new beginning on a beautiful island is a far cry from her first alchemy trial at frigid Briggs. Izumi’s methods may be bold, but she is hardly cruel. Edward and Alphonse are, after all, still children. Children stranded on a deserted island, but children nonetheless.

“You two are on your own,” she announces to a slightly bewildered Edward and Alphonse.

The boys stare back in surprise, and Izumi grins with confidence. She places her hands squarely on her hips, and her voice swells with conviction. It’s been quite a while since she felt this sort of rush. To be needed and valued. And to be seen as both a housewife and a master alchemist.

It’s nice, very nice. But that won’t soften Izumi’s resolve as a teacher. She owes her students this much.

“If you do well, you will move on to the main training phase. During this first stage, the use of alchemy is totally forbidden.”

But one little clue is in order, she thinks. That is only fair.

“One is all, and all is one. You have one month to figure out what that means. You better find the answer in the allotted time, or else you are headed back to Resembool.”

To underscore her point, Izumi tosses a knife at the boy’s feet. It’s another gift, though they may not see it that way until later. To be talented alchemists, they must understand the value of sacrifice. They discard their daily comforts for the benefit of knowledge, and to sustain their lives, they must know what has been taken firsthand. A knife is, simply put, essential to that task.

With one arm raised and a grin on her face, Izumi bids her pupils a fond farewell, almost wishing she could travel back through the threads of time to complete her own training again. “Bye,” she says confidently before the boys can respond.

As Sig paddles back toward the shore, he hums thoughtfully under his breath.

“A clue and a knife,” he observes.

“Too much?” Izumi asks. The bridge of her nose wrinkles playfully with indecision.

Sig chuckles. “I think it’s just enough.”

...

Four days.

It’s been four days since she marooned abandoned purposefully left Edward and Alphonse on a nearby island in the name of introductory alchemy training (with a knife!). Outwardly, Izumi is the picture of levelheaded confidence. She says loud and proud that her pupils will have an abundant supply of food and water when her husband questions her methods.

But inwardly, she’s forever grateful that Sig chose to check in on them this morning.

He set off with a small knapsack after closing the butcher shop early. And when she told him to “do what he felt he had to” with a stiff upper lip, Sig smiled so softly in return as if he knew what she really meant was, 'thank you.'

Now that she is alone, nervousness twists her belly into knots. With her work in the butcher shop done for the day, the housewife wanders from room to room in her home, wondering how the boys might spend their days and taking note of her furniture’s construction. No doubt, a few pieces are bound to be destroyed during their training. Rigorous martial arts training requires an ambush or two. Broken furniture is a fair trade for solid combat skills.

Yet, Izumi finds herself drawn to the details in each room: family photos filled by two and fragile mementos from her travels around Amestris. When she reaches the spare room at the end of the hall, she notices that the doorknob looks just like new, and indeed, this room is not a place she likes to dwell. Though it is now filled with odds and ends that have no place in her home, it was once a nursery.

Soon, if Edward and Alphonse pass their test, it will be a student dormitory of sorts.

Izumi doesn’t know how to feel about this change. Nevertheless, she chooses to focus on the new beginning laid at her feet rather than the dream of motherhood that slipped between her fingers.

It takes her hours to transmute the old furniture into a set of twin beds with a matching nightstand placed in between. She dusts and busies herself into the evening, finding new places for old keepsakes and cleaning off an old desk at the far side of the room. By the time Sig returns, Izumi has made a list of supplies the boys will need and has scoured the house for suitable fabric for new curtains.

It is only when she sees Sig’s dirt clad knees and windswept hair that Izumi realizes she might have acted too soon.

“How are they?” she asks, trying to summon her earlier confidence.

Sig smiles reassuringly, and her heart beats faster in relief.

“They’re doing ok,” he says. “I was close to calling off the exercise, but Edward decided to eat some ants. Strange choice, but shortly after, they were setting traps for rabbits and making fishing poles. I think they’re starting to understand your lesson.”

Amusement painted Izumi’s features. “Of all the things to eat on that island, he ate ants?”

“Everyone has to start somewhere,” Sig responds gently. “Maybe we should set aside some time to take the boys camping during their training. Survival tactics are essential.”

A picturesque image burns itself into the housewife's mind before she can curb her enthusiasm—Izumi and Sig with Edward and Alphonse, camping under the stars. She would like to teach them how to transmute shelter while Sig cooks a delicious meal over a modest campfire. Indeed, there’s an element of training in that activity, but there’s also a feeling of blissful domesticity that Izumi doesn’t want to put a name to. At least, not yet.

“I’ll consider putting survival training in my curriculum,” Izumi announces as she turns on her heel and heads back down the hallway. “Now, I need to show you where the boys will be staying. I’m torn between two fabrics for the curtains, and we’ll need to go shopping for a few more things before they return.”

She doesn’t turn to see Sig’s expression, but somehow, Izumi knows he is also smiling.

...

There’s an impressive spread laid out on the table when the Elric brothers return from the island. It’s a feast for the senses, and the boys do not hesitate to tuck in. They load their plates with thick cuts of beef, potatoes and a few spoonfuls of veggies. Each dish is topped with a river of gravy and a crusty slice of buttered bread.

Izumi can’t remember the last time her kitchen felt so full, and she grins to herself when she thinks no one is watching. Edward and Alphonse adapt to their new surroundings quickly. The boys eat exuberantly as they tell Sig about their time on the island. The burly bear of a man listens intently to Edward’s exaggerated account of their time as if he hadn’t secretly checked in on the boys every few days. As she finishes serving her own plate and sits down to dinner, Izumi mentally confirms her plans to take her students camping sometime.

For survival training purposes, of course.

“You should have seen us, teacher!” Ed exclaims. “We made traps and fishing poles without alchemy.”

Izumi checks her enthusiasm despite the way her heart jumps at the name they’ve given her: teacher.

“You did well, boys, but the real work begins tomorrow. You’ll need to study and practice to learn alchemy.”

Alphonse perks up. “Oh, we will, teacher. We’ll be the best students you’ve ever had.”

She begins to say that they’re the only students she’s ever taken on, but something about the way their golden eyes gleam with passion and pride causes Izumi to pause. Her introduction to alchemy was nothing like theirs. Her reception was cold; her preliminary test was colder. And she cannot recall such a fine meal shared with her master.

“Honey,” Sig interrupts. His timing is impeccable as always. “Why don’t you tell them about your test and how you had to fight a bear.”

Izumi can’t help the confident smirk that settles on her mouth. As Edward and Alphonse hang on her every word, she recounts her experiences in Briggs with as much fearsome detail as she can remember. The children lean in to listen while they continue to shove heaping spoonfuls of mashed potatoes in their mouths. By the time their plates are cleared, Izumi feels as if she is a living, breathing legend, an all-powerful alchemist that has much to teach her students.

It occurs to Izumi, sometime between dinner and dessert, that Edward and Alphonse need more than an alchemy education. These orphans from Resembool need guidance in all things. They need care and concern from people not spread so thin as Pinako. The phrase ‘role models’ burrows its way into Izumi’s mind, and as she watches Sig help the boys set dessert plates around their small table, she begins to understand what Pinako might have seen in the passing husband and wife from Dublith.

It’s too soon to say they are a family and too much to call the warm, tight feeling in her chest ‘love.’ But there is something wonderful about the easy way the Elrics belong in this home, like puzzle pieces tailor-made for empty spaces that Izumi once believed could never be filled.

After dinner, Edward and Alphonse wash up and tuck themselves in bed. Their tired bodies sprawl out over the new sheets. They sleep soundly on a pair of soft mattresses that cushion their ambitious dreams. Sig busies himself cleaning up the kitchen while Izumi settles at her desk in the study. She selects a recipe for breakfast alongside her lesson plans for the boys’ first formal alchemy instruction when an idea strikes her.

Izumi isn’t entirely sure why she feels compelled to write Pinako a letter, but the delicate fibers of her favorite stationery are pressed underneath her pen before she can second guess herself. She shares the good news about the brothers passing their preliminary exam with Pinako and thanks the doctor for the opportunity to nurture their talent. In the last paragraph, the housewife makes a small request for recipes that the boys favor to make their stay more comfortable.

Lastly, Izumi’s pen hovers over the signature line for a moment, wondering which phrase to use in closing. She goes with her instinct and writes the first thing that comes to mind.

‘One Is All, All Is One,’ she pens in the space above her signature block.

Perhaps, the perceptive Granny will know the phrase’s meaning, or maybe she’ll consider the odd saying little more than a mantra Izumi favors. Both are true. Still, the concept of a beginning within an end, of equivalent exchange and interconnectivity of all things, seems particularly poignant tonight.

Izumi sits back in her desk chair and sighs softly to herself. She knew that the next few months would be life-changing for the two boys occupying the room at the far end of the hall. Until this moment, she had not expected how impactful their presence would be for her in return.

#fmasecretsanta2020 #fma #izumi curtis #sig curtis #pinako rockbell #edward elric #alphonse elric #tw canonical reference to child loss #family feels #alchemy training

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finnoky · 4 years ago

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DKAU - Part 1 (Pre Movie)

These are drabbles and ideas but a vague idea of how the Kingdoms work in this AU (There will be more parts, I just divvied them up for my own sanity)

So… Enjoy

In this Eugene was raised as a prince in the Dark Kingdom, alongside Varian as a little brother figure.

Part 2 | Part 3

The Queen still passed, but Edmund was prevented from evacuating the kingdom by advisers and the fact a lot of people had nowhere else to go. Because of it’s climate the Dark Kingdom relied heavily on trade - They’d forge ironworks in exchange for food and resources! I can see them being a great ally in the past for kingdoms who want warriors. An industrial place where the people aren’t too well off. It’s crumbling but not exactly dead… usually overlooked thanks to it’s small population and hostile environment. It’s also steeped in tradition and somewhat respected for its dedication, though a little left behind thanks to it. The DK in general is secretive and a bit mysterious.

When Rapunzel is born, Quirin is sent as a convoy to Corona in securing a future arranged marriage between the prince and princess. This would secure the DK a powerful alliance and reinstate their kingdom amongst the 7, Corona would get a kingdom they could more or less rule over in addition to extra land and resources of their own. Their deal was agreed, Quirin sent back to the DK with papers for Edmund to sign.

The night Quirin leaves Corona, Rapunzel is taken. Theories speculate the DK took out the princess and said rumour quickly spreads. Made worse by Quirin defending himself and running from the royal guard. The Kingdom is ostracised and blamed for the Princesses disappearance, though no evidence links them to it and they continuously prove they were not involved. Rumours spread like wild fire (people always speculated the DK was sketchy and into dark magic anyway, so the bad rumours stick) leading to many trade routes getting ambushed and shut off.

Edmund allows those who want to leave to go - Leaving just himself, The Brotherhood, Eugene and a handful of loyal DK residents. Edmund, in fear of him or his son getting attacked, holes himself and Eugene up in the castle and forbids him from leaving the palace walls. Ever. This is also in an effort to ensure the kingdom doesn’t fall and Eugene learns how to be a king, as well as recieve training from the Brotherhood to become a capable warrior.

Quirin, Adira and Hector all take on roles outside their usual duties and frequently escort traders down routes. Eventually Quirin finds an injured woman from Corona and brings her back to DK. They fall in love, Varian comes along, etc. Eugene is initially jealous but then the two end up growing a very close brotherly bond, even to the point where Eugene selects Varian as his personal guard when the two are older. Following the death of Varians mum, Quirin is more apprehensive to allow Varian outside the palace meaning he subject to similar isolation as Eugene (though they find it better together)

Eugene gets very bored of black rocks and wants to see nature. All sneak out attempts fail. He’s very lonely since the few children who remain aren’t allowed to talk to him. He and Varian start plotting to escape their castle eventually for a joyride around the countries before Eugene’s Coronation. To ensure he can leave when the time comes Varian commits to a future position in the brotherhood.

They leave the kingdom because the rocks are just… SO bad. Their whole home is decimated, the moonstone overtaking their lives. Adira leaves the DK following nasty arguments regarding the potential finding of the Sundrop and banishing the rocks, though her message gives the future King an idea to do the same and indulge in some rebellion when the time comes. The time ends up being shortly after Varians 13th birthday as he needs to be sworn into the Brotherhood to allow them the chance to leave the walls.

Just days after Varians birthday - The kids steal a cart and supplies and hit the road. Hector is pissed off, Edmund is sure Adira poisoned their minds, Quirin is more… understanding. he knows the Kingdom is a bad environment and pretty close to falling. He and Hector set out to find the Prince and Varian. Quirin tells Hector he should stay around about the Great Tree as ‘Eventually the prince will return and it’s the best strategic place to stay’ which Hector agrees to. Quirin keeps heading to Corona.

They (Eugene and Varian) try to find the sundrop to reunite the stones and fix everything. It takes them a long time because there’s just so much to see and do! Hell, it’s so green and lovely out here. They run into Adira who points them in the direction of Corona and promises to offset any guards who come after them, though Eugene is still sceptical of her and feels she knows more than she’s letting on, while Varian seems to trust her judgement and insists they keep going.

#DKAU #Idea #Finn Rambles #See what I mean with I can't filter any of it down?#Long Post #I like having things more or less follow canon #And have ideas for the Movie and Season 1 #But need to edit them bc Eugene comes off as more of a villain than anything #Or someone who just wants to have no worries but leads to angst central #I just hope I'm getting the gist across #The more I reread it the more errors I see and I'm just Hm #I also placed Varians birthday around winter time #He strike me as a November kid #So they travel for while before the events of the movie #Tangled #TTS #Au #dk au

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lemonadelyric · 4 years ago

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2, 4, 5, 7, 11, 12, 13, 19, 20, 22, 23, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 43, 52, 53, 55, 56, 57, 58

SO MANY ASKS thank you anon!!! I'm sorry if some are some that are vague but thank you!!!

2. what would you name your future kids? I always liked the name Alexandria, but honestly I can't think of any other names??? I liked Skylar for a while too, but this friend of mine ruined that lmao

4. what are you looking forward to? IM LOOKING FORWARD TO READING MORE WARRIOR CATS and also to getting me and my bf's room cleaned up and moved around, and having his best friend over, and going out for SUSHI, and being able to play Rockband and everything!!!

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? MY PARTNERS and a lot of my friends!! I always say I couldn't be with someone who doesn't make me laugh, so it's great having friends that make me laugh too <3

7. what was your life like last year? About the same, stuck at home for the most part with my boyfriend. 2020 was nuts man. I also didn't know what to do with my life, and I'm slowly getting there. I think I have an idea but,,,, that's a secret.

11. are you listening to music right now? NOPE but it would probably be Montero tbh LOL

12. what is something you want right now? Hmmm.. My room cleaned up and moved around! FOR MY WINDOWS TO BE SEALED SO BUGS WILL STOP BOTHERING ME!

13. how do you feel right now? Pretty good! Bought everything I'm gonna need for a looooong time, all my time and energy will be spent reading, and saving money!! I've spent enough for a century x.x

19. have you ever been to New York? Never, how's the weather?

20. what is your favourite song at the moment? MONTERO but also a bunch of NSP songs haha

22. description of crush. You know.. I don't think I have any big crushes right now? Like maybe some platonic ones on friends cause they mean a lot to me, but like, there's no one I'm really crushing on right now!

23. fear(s) Spiders, stink bugs, thunder/lightning sometimes, tornados, falling (heights not so much, but falling, YES), and my loved ones leaving or dying :') big trigger lmao

25. role model Not sure if I really have one! I kind of just live by the motto of "be a good person" and bam, off I go

26. idol(s) Okay that's different: Markiplier, Ethan Nestor, Arin Hanson, Dan Avidan, Jennifer Aniston, John Krasinski, Lady Gaga, uhhh... Okay I have a lot but we'll stop there lol

28. i’ll love you if… You're funny, you care about me, you're honest, open-minded, NICE TO WORKERS, and we have a lot of the same interests c:

29. favourite film(s) O Brother Where Art Thou, You're Next, The Proposal, Fifty First Dates, and uh... probably a couple more I can't think of

30. favourite tv show(s) THE OFFICE, Friends, Zoo, Parks and Rec, and uhhh probably more but The Office is one I rewatch a LOT

31. 3 random facts About me? Uhhhh -I have slight sectoral heterochromia! Patches of amber in my eyes! -I'm half hispanic (Mexican!) My biological father was from Mexico with his family. He and my mom broke up before I was born, so I didn't like learn Spanish or anything from his side of the family. I grew up near Chicago though so I was around the culture a lot C: -I have all of the first Harry Potter movie memorized, along with the second one ^^;; My grandmother liked the series with me, so we both watched the movies a lot in the summers I spent with her!

33. something you want to learn Mostly languages!!! Toki Pona, Japanese, Spanish, probably more xD I'd also like to be more knowledgable about like playing instruments and such, I know how to play a little of the kalimba!!

35. favourite subject I loved English! Also psychology and like, social studies TwT I miss school sometimes

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? -I want to move out and live on my own with my partner(s) -I want a full time job I like -I want to achieve some sort of fame, something little, but something! (SOMETHING GOOD, PLEASE, UNIVERSE)

40. favourite memory Probably.. Okay it's dumb, but me getting my cat, Pixel! She means the world to me, and I love her so much!! I went to the shelter to adopt a cat, she wasn't even on my list, but when the shelter worker took her out of her cage and handed her to me, she immediately laid against my chest and purred and I cried and had to adopt her ;;w;;

41. relationship status In several relationships, and open to more ; ) (But not really looking, I got a lot on my plate haha)

42. favourite book(s) Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, the Warriors series by Erin Hunter, The Tairen Soul Series by C.L.Wilson, and the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R.Ward

43. favourite song ever OH that's a hard one! Hmmm.. I've always been a huge fan of Believe by Cher??

52. something i’m talented at I'd like to say I'm.. pretty good at picking up new things! Like crochet, knitting, and my kalimba, stuff like that! Also at teaching others C: I've been told I'm good at that a lot!

53. 5 things that make me happy -My cat, Pixel -My partners -My friends! -Animal Crossing -WARRIOR CATS

55. tumblr friends Okay I have a lot uuUUHHH okay I'll tag some people!

@disabled-bat-lover @chaoticgouda @fictionkin @bi-llcipher @thaliaisalesbian @colorfulblackk @xofemeraldstars @heartivore @boi-with-art-supplies @likelyvampirical @deepseachaos PROBABLY WAY MORE IM SO SORRY IF I DONT TAG YOU

56. favourite food(s) Pizza, waffles, tacos, soda, string cheese, Iiii think that's it for now!

57. favourite animal(s) FOXES, bats, mice, dogs, cats, wolves, rats, opossums, uhh I think that's it?

58. description of my best friend Hmmm.. Is it cheesy to say my partners are my best friends? Other than that, uh, well she's very nice and understanding, trusts me, and we have a lot of the same humor. She's really supportive too and is really good about checking in. It's been great ;;o;;

Thank you anon, this was SO MANY QUESTIONS I loved it!!!

#anon #ask me #lyric answers #Anonymous

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thescarleteyes · 3 years ago

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𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 (𝘜𝘯)𝘙𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 - Chapter 6. Pairing: Edward Elric/Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood) Rating: Mature. Tags: Hanahaki, Love/Hate, Unrequited Love. Trigger Warnings for things such as coughing up blood medical procedures. Possible angst. Word Count: 7,515 for all chapters. 1,336 for Chapter 6. Original Date of Publication: September 24, 2019.

Summary (for all chapters): Months after the promised day, and months after Envy had managed to wiggle away and survive Mustang’s wrath, they’ve discovered that they now cough up flower petals. Unsure of what this means for them, they consult Ed, who they had been trying to get closer to since the conclusion of the Promised Day, who told them that it must mean their in love. But Envy? Capable of loving? Surely it wasn’t possible. After all, they hated humans, and it was hard for them to feel any other emotion than envy and its variations. And if they were, would he ever love them back after all they had done?

Notes from Ao3: haha this was fun :> love the fact im posting it a day before my birthday AND ALso the end of the chapter (the talk between Ed + Envy at the end) was written while listening to lo-fi w/ my girlfriend thats why its a little softer alfkjakl

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Envy knew that they'd be in for it when they woke up. Not that they had actively fallen asleep - they woke up after about an hour and decided to just lay there, next to Ed, holding his hand till he woke up. They wouldn't admit it, to themselves or to Ed, but laying next to him was the happiest they had felt since they had lost their siblings. It was the closest thing to calm that they could imagine. The only thing that could break it was the need to cough at least every thirty minutes at maximum. But they'd cough, wipe their face off, and return to the calm state of holding Edward Elric's sleeping hand at what they could assume was four A.M. Ed woke up around an hour later. The sun hadn't risen yet, not that they would be able to see it down where they were, but Ed insisted that he couldn't sleep any longer and that he needed to stay awake. It took him a moment to realize that Envy had grabbed his hand while he was sleeping. "E-Envy are you," he said sleepily, having only been awake for a short time. They snatched their hand away quickly before he could finish his sentence, "No". "Mmmm.. Pretty sure you were." "I think your imagining things in your half-awake, delirious state." "There's no way I could be delirious, your just in denial. It's okay Envy, I did the same to Ling once." "You have? It's not like I did, I'm just surprised you slept with my once brother." Ed laughed and lightly hit Envy in the arm, "Don't say it that way! Makes it sound worse than it actually was. But you know I traveled with him, so it's not a big deal." "You did, didn't you? Traveling with Greed sounds like a horrible time." They said, finally pushing themselves up and stretching their arms. "Say Ed, did we have anything planned today? Any tests you needed to run?" Ed followed Envy and sat up, "Hmmmm. Well, I should probably see if the hanahaki has gotten worse. Then perhaps we should go out so I can have some food to eat." They sighed, "I assure you, it hasn't gotten worse. Still coughing every thirty minutes or so, but nothing more than that, I swear!" Ed pondered their response a bit, mostly because this was Envy who said it and they usually couldn't be trusted. "Alright. Well, if you say it's still fine then it most likely is...." He paused. "Is it even possible for you to get to the critical stage? If the roots were to enter your lungs all the way, wouldn't any damage done to your lungs just heal right away?" Ed muttered, just barely audible. Envy piped up, "What was that? Don't believe me?" Ed sighed and shook his head. "No I believe you, just get ready, we should go out and get some food."

Getting ready is always a bit hard when you don't own clothing. Ed had brought a bag with his own clothing, so he was fine. But Envy's just needed to shapeshift to change their clothing, so they didn't really own any. No need to when you can change it yourself. Ed was wearing a simple grey shirt, and black pants and boots, Pretty plain for him, but if you looked you'd notice that the pants were definitely leather and tighter than they should have been, and that his boots were still the platform boots. Envy had changed much more - their hair was now more of a brown color than blackish-green and was tied up in a ponytail. They had a black tank top on that was cut a bit too low and a pair of pants similar to Ed's for once. They had proper sandals on this time around, no gloves, and opted to make their eyes blue. "Heh, how do I look, better than before~?" They said, making various poses while looking at Edward. "You look fine, Envy. Let's get going." He replied, smiling, and headed towards the door.

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The place they went to was just the first market they could find in Central. They didn't really talk much, since Envy was just tagging along while Ed grabbed himself food. They didn't need to eat, so they figured that they didn't have much of a say in what food the other bought. Occasionally though, Envy would pick something up and show it to Ed. Ed usually shook his head no and Envy would walk away, sadly, to go put the item back. Eventually, Ed tapped Envy's shoulder, "Are you always this quiet when shopping?" "I've never been shopping before with someone else. I don't need the food, so I'm not saying anything. Out of character, I know." Ed just snickered and went back to picking up vegetables. Envy started coughing when they were trying to buy the items and made some customers worried, but Ed managed to keep them from trying to help. Trying to help would only result in Envy blowing up at someone. And considering how explosive Envy could be, that was for the best. Even if they seemed to be upset about Ed protecting them. After all, they were a homunculus! They didn't need help. They knew how to fight if they needed to.

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Once the two arrived at home, and Ed had managed to find a place to put the food he bought (there were no shelves inside the underground hideout the homunculi had made. There was no reason for them, so Father never made any, and Envy wasn't one to change the decor when they were the only ones down there most of the time.), the two of them sat down across from each other in the main room of the hideout. Ed was eating something he had bought, but also looked a bit nervous to start up a conversation. After a few more moments of silence, Ed asked, "...Say Envy, what was life like down here?" "Well... Most of us were gone most of the time. Father spent a lot of time alone down here. He was constantly sending us out on missions. When we were home though...," Envy paused. Was it okay for them to tell Ed how their family used to function? they thought. But their family was not there to stop them from revealing all of their secrets. "Before Greed deflected and ran away, Father was not a good man. He treated us simply as tools. It's part of the reason Greed tried to take us with him before he left. I lashed out and refused. Lust was too loyal. Pride he never bothered to ask." Envy stopped talking at that point. There was a sadness in their eyes that Ed hadn't seen before, and he wasn't sure what to say to them. "I never did think that you homunculi would have had it bad down here. But.. what sort of missions were you sent on? What did you?" "..Isn't that obvious Edward? I was Father's instigator - but with that I would shapeshift to get information out of people. You don't give me the information, you die. Simple as that." "How far did your instigation go? How far did you go for information?" "I resort to violence! Most of the time if you didn't get what I want I could become your loved one or threaten your loved ones. Worked in most cases. Lust went to more.. drastic measures." "Alright. All of this fits with what we learned about you before the Promised Day. So you never used sex as a tactic, that was all Lust?" "I don't have any sort of parts and I wasn't very interested in it. So no, I have not done any of it." There was a pause between the two and an awkward silence hung in the air. This went on for several minutes, but Ed was the first to speak up- "Would you be interested right now?"

#fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist fanfiction #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #fmab #edward elric #edward elric x envy #envy fma #edvy #hanahaki #vincents writings

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andrewmoocow · 4 years ago

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Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants chapter 5: Never Again (originally posted on November 16, 2020)

AN: Good to see you all again my dear readers! How have things been? Am I being too intrusive? Well, doesn't matter! It's good to be back in business after a few weeks, so let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

"So how much of this show is actual camping?" HYDRA Bob asked Peridot as they, along with Deadpool & Lapis, watched Camp Pining Hearts together at the X-Mansion while surrounded by massive amounts of snack foods and garbage. "A fair bit, but pretty much everyone comes for the romance," Peridot answered. "Yeah," Wade stated. "like your crippling yaoi addiction."

"What is yah-oy?" Lapis asked while mispronouncing this new word just as Pearl came in with a broom. "You really should learn how to pick up after yourselves as guests." The Gem grumbled while sweeping up crumbs off the carpet. "Hey, wise up Pearl, I'm basically an honorary member!" Deadpool remarked. "Hey, Flat-Top, gimme a refill on my coke here!"

"And you should also treat the people housing you like friends, not your servants." Colossus reminded them, just as disgruntled as Pearl, while he gave the Merc with a Mouth another bottle of pop when suddenly, Xavier came in. "Ah, Professor! Would you be so kind as to help us teach Wade here some manners?"

"It's alright, Piotr." Xavier calmed the metal mutant down. "Although Mr. Wilson here can be a bit of a nuisance, we do need all the help we can get to rescue Steven and Kitty."

"Thanks for the save Cap'n." Wade grinned at the aged mutant when someone knocked at the window. "Hey, anyone in there?!" the voice of Spider-Man called from outside, latching upside down onto the glass. "Peter!" Pearl exclaimed. "Long time no see. How are the other Avengers doing?"

"The big six are off in space right now, and the reserves are holding down the fort for now." The web-slinger answered as he opened the window and leaped through it. "When your message reached us, I was the first to take it and brought along a few pals who might be useful."

As Peter finished talking, a silver and blue blur burst through the front doors, stopping to reveal itself as Quicksilver. "Pietro, good to see you!" Colossus exclaimed. "Must mean Wanda isn't too far behind, da?"

"You are correct." Scarlet Witch answered as she followed her brother. "Hello again Crystal Gems." She greeted the Gems. "Hello to you and Pietro too, Wanda," Garnet replied as she stepped into the room. "It certainly has been a while since Thanos. I hope you both are well."

"Oh, never better Garney!" Quicksilver responded as he sat down between Peridot & Lapis to watch Camp Pining Hearts with them. "Ooh, I love this show! I always felt Pierre & Percy have really good chemistry."

"Thank you for agreeing with me good sir." Peridot added pridefully. "Oh, quit with the shit already!" Wade interjected crossly. "No one ever talks about Pierre and Paulette!"

"You take that back, you crimson clod." Peridot snarled threateningly at the mercenary and soon, an intense shipping debate between the two began. "Oh, this could take a long while." Pearl sighed in exhaustion.

"I just watch for all the crazy shenanigans these campers get up to." Spider-Man gave his opinion while snatching some snicker-doodles from the ottoman.

"Come on, work!" Kitty groaned in frustration as she continuously tried and failed to break her and Steven from their imprisonment without using her mutant powers. "If only I could find a way to break this collar, then we'd get outta here easier."

"Why don't I give it a shot?" Steven suggested, deciding to use his shield to cut the bars apart. However, that failed as well. "It's hopeless. If I didn't come, then maybe we wouldn't be stuck here."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up like that Steven." Kitty comforted her fellow mutant. "I'm sure the Gems are already on their way to save us, so try and keep your chin up until then." She implored Steven, but he remained downtrodden. "Let's face it; we're here because of my mom."

"Oh, mother issues?" Kitty realized. "I get it. That's perfectly normal. But you can't always let the sins of the parent bring you down." She assured him. "Yeah, sins like taking part in universal genocide before realizing that wasn't good and instead doing things far worse than that." Steven grumbled, much to her surprise. "Whoa okay, didn't see that coming!" Kitty exclaimed. "Far worse how? Did she actually murder someone?"

"She deliberately left tons of Gems and other races to die for her just because she was bored of being Pink Diamond, let two of my friends to be imprisoned for thousands of years, forced Gems who cared for her to suffer from her faked death and who knows what else!" Steven complained. "And then there was that whole thing with Magneto."

As if on cue, the aforementioned leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants stepped into the brig to interrogate them. "I see you've been making yourselves at home while you could." He declared before grabbing Steven by the shirt collar through the cell bars. "Tell me boy, why do you have her gemstone? Was it passed down to you?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." Steven answered. "When I was born, my mom died to give birth to me, and I got her gemstone and all her powers as a result. She also left me with all her baggage from ages ago, including when she was once a member of the Great Diamond Authority."

"Great Diamond Authority?" Magneto wondered, and Kitty seemed just as confused. "Yeah, I have to agree. There are more Diamonds out there?"

"That's not important right now," Steven said before Magneto set him down. "Still, why go after me in particular? We're both mutants. We should be on the same side!"

"You already know about how Rose abandoned me at Auschwitz, but the Gems only told you half the story," Erik revealed, turning away from Steven & Kitty in the process. "My part of this tale is far more complex than you realize. Like many a Jew during the war, I was prosecuted by the Nazis for my religion and sentenced to death. But I was a special case."

Heavy rain poured upon Poland in 1944 as a large group of imprisoned Jews marched sorrowfully through Auschwitz, their world nothing but drab colors aside from the bright yellow Star of David on their clothes signifying their religion. All around them, more of their people were forced to perform possibly lethal jobs for their superiors and be treated horribly should they fail to work or try to resist.

One young man in particular named Erik Lehnsherr watched just as miserably as his fellow Jews and began to notice that many of the other prisoners had brands on their arms. As soldiers began coldly leading their prisoners away from the group, Erik's parents Edie & Jacob were forcefully separated like the rest from their son, with Edie being particularly hysterical about having to leave her child.

Erik raced after his parents in an effort to see them one last time, but the gates closed before he could get a chance, and another Nazi grabbed the boy to keep him under control. However, something miraculous happened. When Erik fruitlessly reached out towards the gate, it began bending towards him. Another Nazi aided his fellow soldier in detaining the boy, and two more raced towards him as the fence began twisting more and more.

Erik's mutant powers awakened that day as the gates were ripped open with a mere stretch of his hand, but he was quickly stopped with the butt of a gun to his head from a fifth soldier. "Bring ihn zu Dr. Schmidt." that soldier commanded his subordinates. The four Nazis nodded and dragged the unconscious boy away, to where his destiny would soon be realized.

"And that's where you first met his mom, right?" Kitty asked her captor. "Yeah, I don't think we need to hear how she ditched you again."

"As I stated, the story is much deeper than that," Magneto said. "Allow me to continue."

Soon, HYDRA had come to assist the Nazis in stopping the Howling Commandos and the Crystal Gems from instigating the Auschwitz breakout. As Rose began fighting off soldiers, she began counting off the fleeing Jews. "Let me see how many we got," Rose muttered while trying to do a headcount. "Agh, there's too many of them! I can barely keep count when I'm surrounded like this!"

"Less than a million!" Garnet counted for her leader with her future vision. "However, there are still a few that we were too late to save, namely the Lehnsherr family. Klaus Schmidt is holding their son Erik."

"Klaus?" Rose soon came to a realization. "That was the boy in the office! I have to go ba-" Before Rose could finish, a HYDRA enforcer took advantage of her letting her guard down and fired with an anti-Gem weapon, poofing her form.

"Rose!" Pearl exclaimed while rushing to the deactivated gem lying on the ground. While Captain America covered for them with his shield, the Gems made a hasty retreat. "But what about those other Jews?!" Amethyst exclaimed. "A few prisoners should take this from here." Garnet answered, just as the Sonderkommando charged at their captors with guns, knives, axes, and grenades.

Inside the building where Klaus Schmidt was stationed, the mutant Jew slithered around the hall to avoid being caught again. Nazis raced outside to combat without once taking notice of the boy making his escape. Taking a moment to peek outside the window, he noticed the Gems escaping the concentration camp and furrowed his brow angrily. "Sie haben mich verlassen."

As the warfare continued, Erik quietly made his getaway with his newly awakened mutant powers and used a wrecked chain fence to fly himself away from Auschwitz.

Many years later in 1963, Magneto was holding a demonstration in New York to make a speech about the superiority of mutants when she showed up again. Rose Quartz had decided to show her face to him again after leaving him to rot all those years ago in Auschwitz, and only now, she shows up with an excuse to try and make peace.

"You can try to rope yourself into my good graces all you want Gems," he growled, preparing to fight the Crystal Gems. "But nothing can ever change the past!"

Ripping a nearby water tower off its supports, Erik prepared to smash it on top of Rose, Garnet & Pearl, but then came a loud shriek coming from the Irish mutant Sean Cassidy, aka Banshee. "Top o' the mornin' to you ladies!" Banshee exclaimed and let out another scream that brought the master of magnetism to the ground. "Now Neal!"

"I got you!" the Indian pyrokinetic Neal Shaara, or Thunderbird to his teammates, boomed while turning his body into plasma and landing a few hits on Magneto, but the German fought back by expanding a force-field that pushed him back. "Longshot, Angel, Mimic, it's all you now!"

"You got it!" Longshot replied while standing on a rooftop with Mimic and Angel Salvadore and preparing to throw a large knife at Magneto. "Just got one shot at this." He muttered to himself just as Amethyst hopped up behind him. "Hey, what you guys doing?" she asked the three mutants, catching Longshot off-guard. "Do you mind squirt?!" Longshot barked, but then he noticed her gem. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know those three, right?"

"We can discuss it later!" Angel said while sprouting fly-like wings and flying off. "Hey, wait for me!" Mimic exclaimed, copying his teammate's power by growing insect wings of his own and soaring after her.

"You guys wouldn't happen to be like ol' Maggy over there?" Amethyst continued asking Longshot, who harshly shushed her while trying to keep his concentration. "Okay, sheesh!"

"Now Longshot!" Banshee exclaimed as he let out a loud shriek at Magneto to knock him off-balance, allowing Longshot to fling his knife at the evil mutant. But Erik stopped the blade before it could reach his face with his powers and threw it right at Pearl with a wicked grin.

"Pearl, no!" Rose cried out as she dove in front of her confidant, letting the knife stab her instead, causing her to ultimately poof and retreat into her gem.

"Rose!" the remaining Gems shouted, racing to protect their leader's inactive gemstone from Magneto. "Well, that should do nicely for now." He snidely muttered. "But know this Crystal Gems, we shall meet again someday soon. Even if we have to wait years to do so!"

With that, Magneto zoomed off into the sky and left the Crystal Gems & the X-Men below. "So, sorry about letting your boss end up like this." Longshot nervously apologized. "That was my knife he threw at her after all."

"It's alright. Rose will recover soon." Garnet assured the mutant. "By the way, I didn't get your name."

"Call me Longshot, leader of the X-Men!" Longshot proudly replied. "These are my teammates; Banshee, Mimic, Angel Salvadore, and Thunderbird. We're all mutants."

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Thunderbird greeted, extending a hand to Pearl. "Mutants? I think I remember meeting one, centuries ago." Pearl replied, shaking Neal's hand. "You wouldn't happen to know anyone named En Sabah Nur?"

This revelation caused the X-Men to gasp in shock. "Wait, you met Apocalypse?!" Mimic cried. "Let me guess, you guys know him as a real bad guy?" Amethyst quipped. "Yeah, he's about yay tall, superiority complex, total Darwinist." Angel replied. "Come along. We can tell you more about him."

"And maybe we'll introduce you to the professor too." Banshee added happily. "We'd be glad to meet your professor." Pearl agreed, and Garnet & Amethyst nodded as well.

"So that's how the Gems met Xavier!" Steven realized. "But how come you remember that last bit happening? You left after poofing Rose."

"Don't think about it." Magneto assured him. "And now that I have you in our clutches, watching Doctor Doom experiment on you will be so satisfying."

"But still, you can't just vent your vengeance on a kid!" Kitty exclaimed.

"Yeah, this isn't what Xavier would want!" Steven replied, forcing Magneto to drop his stoic façade. "He knows you can be better than this, barring the terrorism. You're both on the same wavelength when it comes to protecting mutants, but kidnapping one of your own for your own sake is just wrong!"

"Y'know, that does seem like something Charles would say. Though he would've said it better." Magneto relented, pressing a button on the cell to let Steven and Kitty out. "Fight them off while you still can children. I shall take the blame myself."

"Okay Steven, let's get outta here!" Kitty declared excitedly. "And no matter what happens, I got your back!"

"Actually Kit, I think I got yours." Steven replied, just as another door opened, and Mystique stepped into the brig. "Erik! Why have you let the prisoners out?" she asked Magneto. "It was the boy who convinced me." Erik revealed. "As it turns out, he's quite good at turning people to his side."

"Well, you're too late child." Mystique said to Steven. "We have finally landed in Latveria."

The Crystal Gems, X-Men, Fantastic Four, X-Force, Spider-Man, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver all marched to the Blackbird, ready to go out to Latveria and save Steven & Kitty. Human Torch and Cyclops were in charge of piloting the plane while Xavier planted his wheelchair in the back.

"So tell us what we're in for Reed." Garnet asked Mister Fantastic, who gave a sharp sigh of regret. "You should know by now that Doctor Doom is our family's greatest adversary. Intelligence on par with my own, mastery of the mystic arts, psionic abilities, the works." Reed explained. "But what I'm sure you probably don't know yet was that we knew Doom long before he turned out like this."

"Victor, have you gone mad?!" a younger Reed yelled at his college classmate Victor, who was standing in front of a large machine generating an unstable portal. "This machine is highly unstable and could explode at any moment!"

"I do not care what it takes, Richards!" the man who would be king of Latveria cried as the machine was on the verge of self-destructing. "This is the only way I can see my mother again!"

"Hey Stretch, we got everyone outta here!" Ben Grimm, back then a normal human being instead of a large rock creature, called for his classmate while he, Johnny and Sue burst into the laboratory. "You gotta come with us!"

"No Reed, we can see our mothers again, together!" Doom tried convincing his rival. Reed hesitated for a moment, weighing his options between escaping with his friends or getting to see his late mother Evelyn again. But as he made his decision, he turned away from Victor. "I'm sorry Vic. But I've moved on."

"How dare you?!" Victor screeched, while his four contemporaries fled the scene. "Don't you dare run away! We could've been something more!" Just then, the portal machine has just about reached its boiling point, and caused the lab to explode with Doom inside. The last thing he said before the room collapsed on him was a scream of "RIIIIIIIIICHAAAAAAAARDS!"

"Never saw him again after that incident. Ol' Iron Mask got expelled, then he just vanished offa the face of the planet." Ben regaled in the present day. "That is until he re-emerged as some young upstart billionaire named Victor Domashev, who funded the space flight that made us into the Four we are today."

"Hey guys, less backstory, more blasting off!" Amethyst snapped her fingers. "Pretty sure Steven might be on his way to being dissected by now!"

"Yeah, and a certain author friend of ours wants to get this out as quickly as possible." Deadpool agreed, his medium-aware comment inciting odd stares from the others. "Can we move onto the next scene already?!"

As Mystique had declared, Steven was now in the European country of Latveria, famously ruled by the Fantastic Four's arch-nemesis Victor von Doom. He and Kitty were led through the aesthetically medieval capital city Doomstadt, where its citizens whispered in German, Hungarian and an unknown third language reminiscent of the latter dialect.

"Victor, we have brought the child. And an unwanted guest." Mystique announced in front of Doom's castle as they crossed the drawbridge. The castle was guarded by numerous robot soldiers that bore Doom's face, all of them giving Steven cold and unfeeling glares as he was finally brought before the man who's face the robots bore.

"Steven Universe." Doctor Doom boomed, resting on his throne while the boy was handcuffed in front of him. "I have heard much about you these past few months child. Erik, I must commend you for getting the job done, although I've heard of your possible betrayal and won't tolerate it." Then Doom turned to Mystique. "Thank you Ms. Darkholme for alerting me of this before you arrived.

"You are most kind Doctor." Mystique thanked him with a bow. "We hope you return your end of the bargain and grant us mutants sanctuary in Latveria."

"Raven, you must listen!" Magneto cried to his second in command. "This boy calls himself a mutant, just like us! We can't just let Victor experiment on him like this. What if he has something else planned?!"

"SILENCE!" the king of Latveria roared. "It seems this child has made you soft Mr. Lehnsherr. No matter." He rose from his throne and stepped towards Steven & Kitty to give them a good look. "He shall become useful to me soon. And as for the girl, take her away."

"Yes your Highness." Mystique complied, snapping her fingers to have Juggernaut take Kitty away.

"Hey, put me down!" Kitty hissed, struggling to break free from the massive mutant's hands, which was easier said than done since her powers were still restrained. "Don't worry Steven, I'll find a way to save you!"

"Ah shaddup!" Juggernaut groaned loudly, stuffing a big finger inside the smaller girl's mouth to keep her quiet when Mystique put a hand on his bicep. "And what do you want Bluey?"

"It's about Erik. We may resort to terrorism to fight for mutant rights, but I think allowing a child to be experimented on may be going a bit too far." Raven whispered to Cain while they moved farther away from Doom. "Besides, he is a mutant much like us."

"So I've heard." The Juggernaut muttered. "But shouldn't he count more as an alien because his momma was one?"

When the Brotherhood mutants left the throne room, Steven was left all alone with Magneto and Doom. "What do you want with me Doom?" Steven asked the king. "Was it really necessary to have the Brotherhood kidnap me when you could've had your robots do it?"

"Why I couldn't have just sent my Doombots doesn't matter." Doom declared. "But what does matter is what I want to do to you. You see, you're special Steven, as you probably know. A being who's a mixture of human and alien DNA, and that alien DNA might prove very important to me." He explained to Steven. "I wish to use those genes for my own ends. Perhaps make an army of similar beings, or perhaps become part-Gem myself to gain ultimate power! Which is why I chose you in particular."

"Doctor, an invading ship is approaching Doomstadt." A Doombot announced as it walked into the throne room. "Shall we send out the reinforcements you selected?"

"You may, #1961." Doom replied, pressing a few buttons on his arms that opened a door, and behind it were four supervillains.

Trapster, a man in goggles with a container of glue-like substance on his back, attached to a hose with a gun at the end.

Mole Man, a deformed midget in a green suit with a blue visor who was holding a staff in his hand.

The Puppet Master, a bald, dark-skinned man accompanied by a pair of human-sized marionettes in the shape of the Human Torch and the Thing, that he controlled with a special remote.

And the Wizard, a purple armor-wearing supergenius who floated in the air with special anti-gravity discs.

"Frightful Four, it seems we have some uninvited guests." Doom revealed to the four villains. "I insist you deal with them at once, while I make my little guest here at home."

"Yes Doctor." The Frightful Four said in unison, then the marched out of the throne room to battle. Once again Steven was alone in the throne room with Victor & Erik, and the former was all too eager to get things started.

"Now then, shall we begin testing?" Doom asked Steven maliciously, and Steven replied with a very nervous gulp.

After three months of work, it's finally done! We're getting close to the end of this guys, and I couldn't be more excited. But for now, I think I'm gonna take a little break to focus on college stuff for a bit, and I'll be back soon with not just a new chapter, but also a brand spankin' new Steven Universe tale I've had on the brain for a while. It's an AU rewrite of Steven Universe Future aptly named Steven Universe: Alternate Future. If you want to know more about this upcoming series, I've already got an entire episode list on my DeviantArt page along with drawings of some original characters created for it. Until we meet again, toodle-oo!

In Loving Memory of Sean Connery

1930-2020

& Alex Trebek

1940-2020

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fishoutofcamelot · 4 years ago

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(for the ask thing) any book/tv show/movie/song recommendations?

BRO! I heckin got you man! Now, I’m gonna skip the song and book recommendation bit because that sorta thing isn’t really my scene. BUT! In terms of TV? My rec list is like a mile long. I’m gonna include a read-more line, actually.

BBC Merlin: You know I had to put this on the list. But the fact that you’re on my blog means you’ve probably watched this one, so I won’t go into detail about it. Available on Netflix

Mob Psycho 100: Just a cute, sweet story about a bunch of psychic kids trying to kill each other. A story with this much fighting has no right to be so wholesome. Mob is just a good boy, he doesn’t deserve all this! Fair warning, its messages about identity, self love, and growth WILL make you feel Emotions. Available on various anime pirating websites

Red vs Blue: The found family game is SO strong in this one. By far the best found family plot/dynamic I have ever and will ever experience. The characters are all so solid, yknow? Like it took me three rewatches to understand the plot, but I didn’t even care because I loved the characters SO MUCH. It’s also really, really funny (although some of the jokes have aged a bit poorly tbh). Basically about a bunch of space marines who goof off and accidentally dismantle corrupt governments along the way. Available on Youtube

Supernatural: Is it cringey? Yeah. Does the fandom suck? Also yeah. Is Destiel overrated? BIG yeah. But it’s got monsters, magic, family, and a plot that doesn’t revolve around romance - and really, what more could you ask for? And sure, a lot of people don’t really like the later seasons, but idk I actually prefer them. Season 15 has me THRIVING. I mean come on - character vs author?! Fighting the guy who literally wrote you into existence because he doesn’t want to give your story a happy ending?! Say what you will about Supernatural, but it’s one of the most imaginative shows I’ve ever seen. Available on Netflix

Avatar the Last Airbender: You like stellar animation, intricate worldbuilding/magicbuilding, and a perspective on war that is surprisingly mature for a kids show? Check it out. This show is without a doubt one of the best animated series of all time. Go on. Watch it. It’ll change your life. Available on Netflix

The Umbrella Academy: Time-travelling assassins. Superheroes. Ghosts. Talking monkeys. Murder mysteries. Baller soundtracks. This show will never give you what you expect. I don’t even think I could properly describe it to you. Available on Netflix

Detective Conan: An anime. It’s about a teen detective - think Nancy Drew but bloodier - who witnesses a crime and is fed an experimental poison in order to keep him from telling anyone. But instead of killing him, the poison turns him into a 6-year-old. So now he’s got to solve crimes and take down a criminal organization while in the body of a child. Naturally, shenanigans ensue. Fair warning, the main character becomes a bit of a Mary Sue in later episodes, but the first 300 or so are pretty fun. A few episodes are available on Netflix, but not any of the good ones. You’ll need an anime pirating website for that

Knives Out: My favourite movie ever, of all time. It’s a murder mystery that both subverts and pays homage to its parent genre in all the right places. It’s funny, it’s intelligent, and has a spectacular ending! Although I do wish the fandom would stop being so horny for Ransom, I mean he’s literally racist...No clue where you can find this tbh, I saw it in theatres

Derry Girls: Now I’m not normally a big fan of realistic fiction/sitcom stuff. Despite how funny they are, I’ve not even watched The Office or Parks and Rec because that normal daily life stuff just doesn’t peak my interest. And yet, somehow this story about a group of Irish high schoolers just has me enthralled. Very funny, very well-written, give it a watch. Available on Netflix

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Another anime. Phenomenal animation? Check. Fascinating plot and characters? Check. Detailed magic system that gets my lore-obsessed heart fluttering? Big heckin check. So basically two kids try to use Fantasy Science to bring their mom back to life, only the experiment fails and has some pretty nasty consequences - one boy loses his arm and leg, while the other loses his entire body and has his soul bound to a suit of armour. Now they gotta go through government conspiracies, ethical dilemmas, and Daddy Issues to try and get their bodies back. Available on Netflix

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Yet another anime. I know, I know, I’m a nerd, get over it. This show doesn’t have a complex plot or even complex characters, tbh, but what it does have is some amazing humour. It’s extremely funny, and it’s also just a nice show to kick back and relax to. Basically this guy who’s so op that he could rewrite the laws of reality on a whim is stuck dealing with relationship drama in high school despite being very, very asexual and very, very tired. Mostly he just uses his powers to avoid people and eat junk food, which is honestly a mood. Available on Netflix

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Honestly I’d recommend almost anything that’s Scooby Doo-related because that was my childhood obsession. I used to have like 20 of the movies on DVD before my mom gave them all away. To this day I still love Scooby Doo, and watch it whenever I get the chance. But if you ask any SD fan, they’ll probably tell you that Mystery Incorporated is the best, most intelligent, most creative installment in the franchise. And they’re right (although I do wish there was less relationship drama...) Available on Netflix

Evil Genius: This is a documentary series about the Collar Bomb Robbery. Now, despite what the above list might indicate, I actually watch a LOT of documentaries, and if I were here to recommend all of them then we would be here all day. Not really ‘funny’ like the other entries on this list, it’s actually rather tragic, but definitely a cerebral viewing experience. Available on Netflix

Screwball: Now this is a documentary that IS funny. It’s about drug scandals in baseball. But the dramatic scene re-enactments are done with child actors that are all wearing fake beards and pretending to be drug dealers. It’s not only a fascinating subject, but it’s got amazing editing and visuals that have me in awe. Available on Netflix

Behind the Curve: Yet another documentary. This one’s about the rise of the Flat Earth movement. You’ll spend most of the time on the verge of having a stroke because of how stupid it all is. Available on Netflix

The Movies That Made Us: Okay okay okay last documentary on the list I swear. This one’s exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a series talking about the behind-the-scenes production of iconic movies like Home Alone and Ghostbusters. I eagerly await the second season. Available on Netflix

Monster Factory: If you’re familiar with the McElroy brothers and their brand of humour, you’ll love this. Griffin and Justin team up to make the most disturbing avatars they can create using video game character creators. The origins of the Final Pam meme. If I had a shirt with a quote from Monster Factory on it, I’d die a happy man. Available on Youtube

Baman Piderman: The dumbest show I have ever watched, but it’s so adorable and stupid and I love it so much. It doesn’t really have a plot, but later episodes allude to the presence of one and I’m upset because there are so many mysteries/questions hinted at and we’ll never get answers because it’s been abandoned. PLEASE watch it. Available on Youtube

Stranger Things: Okay, season 2 was a bit of a let-down imo, but season 1 was ICONIC and the Scoops Troop subplot in season 3 deserved its own freakin spinoff. I’m not joking. I didn’t even like s3 all that much, but the only reason it’s my favourite is because the Scoops Troop plot was so great. People call this show ‘horror’ but I don’t think it’s scary enough for that, although it is admittedly kinda spooky. If you like 80s nostalgia and the horror aesthetic, then I’d give it a watch (Do it for Scoops Troop. Do it for Robin). Available on Netflix

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Despite my overwhelming love for this film, I’ll be the first to admit it’s kinda mediocre. The plot is weird and the romance feels forced, but despite its flaws it manages to be one of my favourite movies. Mostly I just like it for the unique concept and beautiful ending. Also the music is off the par man. Probably because the writer/producer of the movie was the lead singer for a French band called Dionysus (what? I do my research). Available on Netflix

Wakfu: I haven’t seen past season 3, but so far it’s pretty good. You go in thinking it’s just a wholesome action/adventure show about a kid who can create portals - but then it just. Sucks you in. From its bopping theme song to its fantastic found family to the unique worldbuilding, you very quickly fall in love with it. It’s got a cool plot and also talking dragons, and it doesn’t get better than that. Available on Netflix

Mystery Skulls Animated: Technically not a TV show so much as it is a series of animated music videos with a plot, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the greatest things of all time. It’s basically Scooby Doo but if Shaggy got possessed by a demon and killed Fred, causing Fred to become a ghost hellbent on revenge-killing Shaggy in return. And if Scooby was an ancient Japanese spirit that bit off Shaggy’s arm, forcing him to wear a metal prosthetic. Yeah, MSA is wild. It’s only got three videos out so far, with a fourth one coming out this October, but there’s already so much lore! Available on Youtube

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared: Ah yes, yet another cringey entry on this list. But you know what? Cringe culture is dead!!! And despite its fandom being...like that...DHMIS really is a cool show. Think if Sesame Street was like haunted or something. The episodes about creativity and telling time remain the most unsettling, imo. Definitely worth a watch. Available on Youtube

Inanimate Insanity: Oh boy. Am I seriously recommending you dip your little fingies into the object fandom? Yes. Yes I am. This show is so obscure it makes freakin Detective Conan look popular. At its core it’s a parody of Total Drama Island and Survivor but with anthropomorphized inanimate objects as characters (hence the name). Season 2 is actually really, really good and surprisingly competent. You just gotta get through season 1 first. Available on Youtube

The X-Files: Wow, a live action series on this list? Who woulda thought??? But seriously, this show is really fun. Memes and jokes aside, I love it. Scully and Mulder are fun characters with great chemistry (both platonic and romantic), the Lone Horsemen are hilarious, and every episode is a unique adventure into the most creative acid trips the human mind could conceive of. Phenomenal from start to finish (if you ignore the last season). I have no clue where you would watch this. Pirate it, probably

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Two idiots investigate cold cases and haunted locales while being utter dumbasses about it. You know the “hey demons it’s be ya boi” meme? That came from these guys. Available on Youtube

Kingdom: Ngl, I didn’t go into this expecting zombies. Or for it to take place during Korean feudalism, for that matter. But mediocre dubbing aside, this show has such a clever concept. It takes the zombie apocalypse genre and gives refreshing, unique twists to old tropes that they feel like something new. Seo-bi is my wife and she deserves all the love and appreciation in the world, and those are just Facts. Available on Netflix

My Hero Academia: Superhero high school anime. I personally am not a fan of later episodes/arcs, but the first three seasons are pretty dang good. Diverse, colourful ensemble cast that you easily grow to adore, interesting commentary on disability (although I’m not qualified to give any actual takes on that), and a school curriculum that makes me very, very concerned for the wellbeing of these children. Plus all the superpowers - aka ‘quirks’ - are super imaginative and, well, quirky! I just wish people would stop shipping the main character with his childhood bully...You’ll need to pirate this one too lmao

Danny Phantom: The highlight of this show is its ‘phandom’, because unlike someone (*cough* Butch Hartman), we’re not a bunch of cowards. It’s about a guy who messes around with his parents’ lab stuff and accidentally acquires the ability to die! Well, half-die. He can turn into a ghost and fight other ghosts. Although the show never explores the existential, traumatic fallout of being kinda-sorta-dead, the potential for something deep and emotional is there. Plus there is a LOT of accidental subtext for a Big LGBT+ Metaphor. So much so that the Trans Danny theory is basically canon. Uhhh not available on Netflix anymore so it’s time to whip out your pirate hat, matey

And there you have it! Like I said, I have a lot of TV recommendations. And I just KNOW I’m forgetting a ton, but this is already really long so we’ll have to cut off here.

Thanks for the ask! <3

#ask #fish post

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calumcest · 4 years ago

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i took a walk with my fame down memory lane (i never did find my way back) - chapter five

[ao3]

cannot believe the malum is going somewhere now this is truly scenes...only 50k into the fic and all...would you believe that i don’t read fics over 8k long because i’m too impatient i’m literally the worlds biggest hypocrite i HATE slow burn look at me. i literally write everything i hate

@tirednotflirting my lovely basically-co-writer i love you thank you for dealing with this shit i changed like half of it i cannot believe you had to read it in the state it was in...truly vile...also this chapter actually owes its life to @kaleidoscopeminds i wasn’t going to post today bc the laptop i have to use rn is doing my nut and bc i thought nobody cares but meg cares and so this is for her <3

Noel gets back the next afternoon.

He’s dishevelled, he’s sleep-deprived, he’s stone-cold sober and in a right fucking mood, but he’s there. Calum sees him at breakfast, sat at a table chatting to Alan - he’s just got off his flight, still hasn’t taken his suitcase back up to his room, looks like he hasn’t got changed in the four days he’s been gone - and when Noel spots him, he just stares for a minute, wavering, like he’s not sure how Calum’s going to react. It makes Calum falter too, because Noel’s always so certain about these things, always scoffs and says c’mon, then, don’t be a dick, all business-like, so it’s an unexpected reaction. It feels almost like a shift, feels like maybe something’s irrevocably changed, now, and he’s not really sure what to make of it, not sure whether the way his stomach flips is because of that or Noel or the comedown he’s currently pushing through.

He heads to the table, though, because what the fuck else is he supposed to do - skip a free meal? No fucking chance - and Noel’s eyes follow him the whole way, a slight edge of trepidation leaking into the edges as Calum gets closer and closer until he’s hovering at the table. He’s not going to speak first, Calum realises. He’s going to let Calum take the lead, and that’s unusual too, nothing like the Noel that had left all of four days ago. Jesus, what the fuck do they do to the water in San Diego? Whatever it is, he hopes Noel’s brought some back for Liam to drink.

Alan’s watching the two of them, that managerial instinct telling him that something’s not quite right here, like he can see the way Calum’s skin is crawling with this strange, unknown hesitancy around Noel, and Calum doesn’t want to make a scene in front of him, so he just cocks his head and looks down at Noel.

“You’re a prick,” he says. Noel blinks, and for a brief moment Calum’s stomach drops, like maybe even that has changed, now, like maybe that’s not the right way to say I love you, you massive cunt anymore, and then Noel grins tiredly.

“Aye,” he says simply, and Calum grins back, relief flooding his veins, and sits down opposite Noel.

It goes pretty much the same with Tony and Bonehead, although Bonehead does cuff Noel upside the head a little harder than strictly necessary. Liam doesn’t come down for food, even though he’s always the first up, and when he realises that the waiters are clearing away the chafing dishes without an indignant Mancunian telling them oi, I’ve only had six hash browns, Calum exchanges a look with Bonehead. Liam’s going to make Noel go to him, isn’t going to let them have a chance meeting. He’s going to make Noel go to him, which for Noel is the same as crawling through broken glass on his hands and knees.

Noel does it, though, swallows his pride and heads up to Liam’s room when everybody else is chatting animatedly, relief powering the conversation. Calum doesn’t even notice he’s gone until he turns to ask Noel to back him up on Help! being better than Rubber Soul, which is probably what Noel wanted. He’d hate to make a big show of it, for everyone to know that the roles are reversed, that Noel’s going to Liam rather than Liam going to Noel. Still, though, Calum thinks, turning back to the rest of the group and launching into his impassioned defence of Help!, it’s not like Noel. Something’s changed, and Calum’s not entirely sure what, and he doesn’t fucking like it.

The rest of them don’t see Liam and Noel all day, but when Calum passes by Liam’s room he hears two low voices talking calmly, quietly, rationally, and catches what sounds like look, you love me, I love you, so let’s make this work, and ...for mam’s sake, if nowt else. They emerge again at dinner, and don’t speak about it, and nobody dares to ask, not even Calum. It’s not like anyone else would understand, anyway; the two of them live on another fucking planet where the normal rules of brotherhood and family and basic fucking decency don’t apply.

Once Noel and Liam have made up, though - or, at least, started calling each other cunts a little less venomously - the rest of the American leg of the tour goes off without a hitch.

They’re there until late October, and despite an edge of tension in the band, a little uncertainty as they all try to find their feet in their new, post-Whiskey-a-Go-Go-disaster relationships, the tour goes well. Noel and Liam don’t escalate past their usual arguments, only ignore each other for a few hours at a time, and all their dates are sold out. On top of all that, the album’s hitting heights none of them had even dreamed of.

(Well, maybe Liam had dreamed of them. In fact, Liam had laid it out plainly for them on the first day of recording, pointing accusingly first at Noel, then Bonehead, then Calum, then back to Noel, skipping Tony completely: it’s going to be number fucking one, you hear me, and it’s going to go fucking platinum, and whatever the fuck comes after platinum. It’s going to be fucking mega. )

Noel had written some songs while he was in San Diego, one candid acoustic ballad that makes Calum and Bonehead share a slightly alarmed glance when they hear it, and Alan insists that they’re masterpieces, so they head to a studio in Texas to record them. Calum stands with Liam behind the thick glass that separates the live room from the control room, watches as Noel blinks down at his acoustic guitar and sings I wanna talk tonight ‘bout how you saved my life and then looks up at either Calum or Liam, Calum can’t tell, and sings you and me see how we are. It sends a shiver down his spine, the sheer fucking openness of it, and for the first time makes him think shit, what was going through Noel’s head when he was gone? He’s been so preoccupied with their side of it, with Bonehead’s drinking and Tony and Maggie’s conversations and Liam shutting himself in his room that he hadn’t stopped to think about what Noel might have been feeling, about just how literally Noel means you saved my life.

When the rest of them get back into the studio to record the other songs, though, it feels like something slotting back into place. It reminds them all who they are, what they are, and smooths over the discordance, evens out the dissonance. The five of them come out of it grinning, laughing, shaking their heads at some ridiculous tale Liam’s spinning, and it feels good. For the first time in weeks, giddy with nothing but adrenaline and love, Calum feels good. The music’s what makes them, and the music’s what fixes them. It’s an important lesson, that they can go through something like that and stitch up the wounds with a few guitar strings, and it makes them all feel a little more grounded, a little more confident that they’re back on their feet.

The day of their flight back to the UK, when they’re all still nursing their incredible hangovers from the celebrations of finishing the North American leg of the tour the night before, Calum goes down for breakfast to find Noel and Liam already sat at the table, deep in what looks like a heated conversation. He hesitates for a moment - any conversation with the brothers whispering fiercely like that is likely a conversation he wants no part in - but it’s too late, because Noel’s seen him, and he’s beckoning him over, brows knitted together.

“What?” Calum says warily, about three feet from the table, far enough away that he can still make a break for it if it devolves into a shouting match.

“D’you know where we were this morning?” Noel says. Calum shrugs. He doesn’t even know where they are now, let alone where Noel and Liam might have disappeared to before he was awake.

“We had a radio interview,” Liam says. Calum’s not sure why he’s supposed to care about that.

“With Blur,” Noel adds, and Calum’s stomach drops.

What the fuck?

“What the fuck?” Calum says, trying his best to school his features into something neutral, feeling the two identical sets of blue eyes scrutinising him, watching for a reaction. “Why- what? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We didn’t know,” Liam says, a little coolly, and takes a sip of his tea, eyes still on Calum to see how he reacts.

“What happened?”

“What the fuck was s’posed to happen?” Noel says, raising an eyebrow. “We did the fucking interview.”

“Without calling them cunts?”

“‘Course,” Liam says, pulling a cigarette out of the packet lying between himself and Noel on the table. “We’re fucking professionals, we are.” Calum snorts. The most professional thing either of them have done is turn up to a bus call only twenty minutes late.

“You did call Damon a prick,” Noel says mildly to Liam, who waves the hand that isn’t flicking his lighter dismissively.

“Cal asked about cunt, though, didn’t he?” he mumbles around his cigarette, and Calum and Noel both roll their eyes, Calum huffing out a laugh and Noel tutting, both edged with fondness.

“The Sun’s going to have a fucking field day,” Calum says, deciding it’s safe enough to sit down. The two of them don’t seem in too bad of a mood; in fact, they seem a little too calm, both of them looking at Calum with almost blank expressions, heads tilted one way. “What?” Calum adds, a little defensively, and Liam leans forwards, taking the cigarette out of his mouth just so he can speak properly.

“Mike was there,” he says, like he’s revealing a big secret that he’s been bursting to tell. Calum’s heart skips a beat, but he keeps his face straight, and just blinks at Liam. So that’s what this is about. He should’ve known, really; it would have been too much to ask for the Gallagher brothers to forget about that part of Calum’s sexual history for, like, two fucking minutes.

“Well, he’s part of Blur, isn’t he?” Calum says.

“He asked after you,” Noel says, far too nonchalantly, stirring his tea. Calum swallows, feeling the all-too-familiar guilt surge up in his lungs. He shouldn’t be talking to Michael. He shouldn’t have taken Michael’s number, shouldn’t have learnt it off by heart, shouldn’t have sat in Noel’s empty hotel room and turned to Michael on one of the worst days of his life. And he definitely shouldn’t have done all of that without telling Liam or Noel.

“Oh,” Calum says. “Well.” He’s not sure what else to say, what else the guilt will even let him say. “What did you say?” Liam throws him a slightly indignant look.

“Told him to fuck off, obviously,” he says, like he’s a little offended Calum’s even asked. “Not telling him fuck all about you, am I?” God. If it were anyone else they were talking about, Calum would feel a pure rush of love for Liam, at the fact he’s so unquestioningly and unnecessarily protective of Calum, but because it’s Michael, a huge surge of guilt washes over the love that rises in him, lapping at his veins before the love can get there.

“Oh,” Calum says again, and Liam just turns back to his tea, clearly thinking the conversation’s over, that what needed to be said has been said and satisfied with Calum’s response. Noel, though, is still looking at Calum, something too perceptive in his cool blue eyes.

“Why would he ask?” he says, and there’s an edge to his voice, something cold and challenging.

“What d’you mean?” Calum says, holding his gaze, trying to push all the panic rising in his chest back before it reaches his eyes. Shit, what the fuck had Michael said? Did he mention anything about the phone call? Does Noel know?

“Seems a bit friendly.” Noel’s eyes are carefully blank, expression guarded, not giving anything away, cards held close to his chest.

“He’s a friendly guy,” Calum says, relieved at how even his voice comes out. “Just because you two are cunts.” At that, Liam looks up again, frowning.

“Who’s a cunt?” he says, incensed. Calum almost lets out a sigh of relief - if Liam’s back in the conversation, Noel won’t say anything else. At least, not now, he won’t. Calum’s just buying himself time, really; Noel’s going to stew on it, mull it over on late-night bus calls and midday hangovers, and come back to Calum when he thinks he’s got something infallible to slash at Calum’s defences with.

“You are,” Noel tells Liam.

“You are too,” Calum reminds him, and Noel shrugs.

“Could be worse,” he says. “Could be Damon Albarn.” Liam snorts, and even Calum has to roll his eyes and shake his head, reaching over for Noel’s tea and pulling it towards him, wanting something to do with his jittery fingers. Noel lets him, even pushes a packet of sugar in his direction because he knows Calum can’t stand drinking tea unless it’s immediately going to give him diabetes, and Calum smiles, watching as something a little disarmed crosses Noel’s face for a split second before he schools his features back into that half-irritated, half-challenging expression that’s so Noel he might as well patent it.

Strange, Calum thinks, as he empties the entire packet of sugar into what’s now his tea. Noel doesn’t have chinks in his armour, not really. At least, not when it comes to anyone whose name doesn’t start with an ‘L’ and end with an ‘iam’, and last time Calum checked, he wasn’t a loud-mouthed twat from Manchester that Noel’s been exasperatedly hauling out of trouble for the past two decades. He doesn’t really have time to wonder what it’s about, though, because then Liam’s sighing loudly, raising his hand to catch the nearest waiter’s attention, and saying: “Alright, mate, don’t happen to know where the best place to score coke around here is, do you?”

“Liam,” Noel says warningly, the well-worn older-brother irritation already lacing his tone, and Liam just shoots him a what? sort of look, as the waiter stares back at them.

“Coke?” he asks, a little hesitantly, like he’s sure he’s misunderstanding what Liam’s asking.

“Yeah, mate, y’know, the old Colombian marching powder,” Liam says, nodding his head, like this is a perfectly normal conversation to have with a waiter at ten in the morning.

“I- uh, sir, I’m not sure-” the waiter starts, a little nervously, and Liam leans forwards.

“Cocaine, mate,” he says slowly, clearly thinking the waiter’s not caught on, like that’s the only possible explanation for why he’s not immediately gone oh, yeah, ‘course, hang on, let me my local dealer on the line.

“Piss off, Liam,” Noel says, a definite note of annoyance in his voice now, and Liam’s like a shark to blood, turns away from the waiter, all thoughts of getting whatever white powder he can procure up his nose forgotten as he spots a new drug of choice; arguing with Noel. It’s something Calum’s seen a hundred times, the way Liam will find a gap in Noel’s defences and worm his way in, make a home under Noel’s skin just for a few minutes of his attention, and it’s not something he fancies sticking around to watch, knowing it’ll end with fists flying with no regard for who might be caught in the crossfire.

“I’m going back up,” he says, even though he hasn’t eaten yet, but neither Noel or Liam are listening anymore, already caught in a half-hissed, half-yelled conversation about whether it’s inappropriate or street-smart to ask a random local guy for coke plugs at his job, Liam, at his fucking job, and do you know how many fucking hotels we’ve been kicked out of because of you so far this year? Liam’s raising his voice as Calum walks out of the room, shouting something about me? It’s not just me, you prick, you were in fucking Sweden as well, right, and you’re the one who took off to fucking San Diego, what the fuck else was I going to do while we all waited for you to stop being such a pathetic little cunt? , and Calum knows he’s left just in time when he hears the sound of crockery shattering in the distance as he jogs back up the stairs to his room. He doesn’t really mind, though, doesn’t care if they get kicked out of this hotel too, because all he can think, heart pounding, is why the fuck did Michael ask after me, when the last thing he might have heard is me calling him ‘no one’?

He doesn’t even get time to think about that, though, because Bonehead’s on his way down as Calum’s on his way up, and he blocks Calum’s path and insists Calum join him on a walk to the supermarket because the amount of beer he’s going to have to drink to deal with the brothers on an eight hour flight back home needs two people to carry it. Calum thinks shit, he’s right, so they fetch Tony to carry all the alcohol Calum’s going to need to drink too, and then spend the walk to the shop and the entire time traipsing around it arguing about whether or not Tony should get any of the alcohol they’re loading into their arms. Calum weighs in for the first ten minutes, but it becomes clear Bonehead and Tony are just looking to fight about something, so Calum draws back and lets them have at each other, walks next to them and lets the sound of their rowing wash over him as his thoughts turn back to Michael.

Did Michael really want to know? Or was it a power play, him saying something to Liam and Noel knowing it would get back to Calum? No, surely not, Calum thinks, as Tony and Bonehead bicker about whether or not Tony deserves at least one of the six-packs Bonehead’s picked up. Michael wouldn’t do that. He’s not that kind of person.

Maybe Michael isn’t, a little voice in his head says, but maybe Mike is. You don’t know Mike, do you?

(Calum thrusts one of his six-packs at Tony, suddenly feeling a little too sick to drink.)

-------

They head back to Europe in November, first to the UK to record Whatever, and then straight off to France. Noel even manages to make a joke about the Amsterdam ferry incident as they’re waiting to board in Dover, which is as close to saying I forgive you to Liam for the episode as he’s going to get.

Calum doesn’t speak to Michael for almost two months. He doesn’t want to call first, after the way the last call ended and still uncertain about the whole Michael-Liam-Noel situation, and Michael doesn’t call him. Calum tries not to dwell on it, to think too hard about the sound of the dial tone and the way he’d called Michael no one, but Blur are fucking everywhere. It seems like they’re playing all the same places as Oasis but a few weeks earlier, because every time Calum walks down a French street he’s accosted by blown up images of Michael’s face, moody and pretty, staring down at him from billboards and bus stops and fucking lampposts.

It’s one of those posters stuck haphazardly onto a lamppost in Berlin that Calum sees, a few hours before they’re due to play a show, that reminds him, with a jolt, what the date is.

The twentieth of November.

Michael’s birthday.

Calum’s almost taken aback that he remembers. He’d forgotten for the past three or four years - the date had passed him by without so much as a second glance - and the thought makes him feel a little guilty, a little sick, like he’s broken a promise to himself that he never even knew he made.

There’s a little phone booth next to the lamppost that looks like it might not even be working, and Calum finds himself striding in that direction, fumbling in his pocket for the few German coins he’d been given. It’s nothing, he tells himself, as he starts dialling Michael’s number. It’s just polite to wish someone a happy birthday. It doesn’t mean anything.

It only takes two rings for someone to pick up, a soft click and a moment of silence at the other end of the line.

“Hello?” It’s not Michael; it’s a woman. Maybe Michael has a house-sitter? Calum’s pretty sure Michael must be loaded now, right, if he’s in Blur? He’s probably not pissing all his royalties away on drink and drugs. They probably have a group accountant to manage everything for them, rather than Noel cuffing them all upside the head and going eeyar, yous need to start buying cheaper coke.

“Oh,” Calum says. “Uh. I’m looking for Michael?”

“He’s in Japan at the moment,” the woman says. Her voice is sweet and warm, almost comforting, and oddly familiar. It’s probably just the Australian accent, Calum thinks. Anyone with an Australian accent has sounded familiar to him since he left.

“Oh,” Calum says again. He should’ve guessed, really. Of course Michael’s not at home. He’s in a fucking band. In Blur, no less. Of course he’s on tour.

“May I ask who’s calling?” the woman says. Calum hesitates.

“Just a friend,” he says, a little evasively. “Just- uh. Wanted to wish him a happy birthday, is all.”

“Oh, that’s lovely,” the woman says, and she sounds like she’s smiling. “I can give you the number of his hotel room in Japan, if you’d like.”

“I-” Calum’s not sure what to say to that. He might be sending a message he’s not entirely sure he wants to send if Michael finds out Calum had called his house first, and then got the number for his hotel in Japan.

“Or I can pass along a message?” the woman offers. “What’s the name?” Calum bites his lip. It can’t hurt, he thinks. It’s not like Michael will have spoken about Calum to anyone who’s known him in the past few years, if he hadn’t told his own bandmates.

“Yeah,” Calum says. “Yeah, that’d be good, thanks. It’s Calum.” The woman lets out a little gasp.

“Calum Hood?” she says, and Calum’s stomach drops. "I should have recognised your voice! You've lost your accent, haven't you?"

“Uh,” he says intelligently, but she’s already started talking again.

“It’s Karen,” she says.

Oh, fucking hell.

“Oh,” Calum says. Fuck. Jesus Christ. Of course it’s Michael’s mum. Of course Michael wouldn’t get a fucking house-sitter, rich and in Blur or not. It’s oddly steadying, though, that in this instance at least Michael’s Michael and not Mike, makes something electric shoot through Calum as he thinks maybe I still know enough of him. “Uh. Hi?”

“I didn’t know you and Michael were still in contact,” she says, and he can hear the grin in her voice, how happy she sounds about it. It makes his stomach twist in guilt, heavy and leaden.

“Yeah,” Calum says weakly. “Well. Not really. But- y’know. It’s his birthday.” He cringes at his own words, stilted and uncomfortable, but Karen doesn’t seem to notice.

“I’m sure he’ll want to hear from you himself,” she says jovially. “I’ll give you his number, hang on a minute.”

“Actually, I-”

“Yes, here it is. Have you got a pen and paper?”

“I don’t-” Calum breaks off, looking wildly around him, and picks up the pen on the top of the telephone keypad, scratching it against the sign that tells him how much of his money he’s pissing away on this phone call. He’s roped into this, now, isn’t he? Karen will tell Michael Calum called, and if Calum doesn’t call Michael after telling Karen he would, it’ll look suspicious. Or it’ll look like he doesn’t care enough, which, with their fragile balance and Calum not knowing where Michael’s head’s at, is the last thing he wants.

“Okay. It’s oh-one-two,” Karen begins, and Calum nods along as she reels off the number for him, phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder as he forces the last of the ink from the pen onto his hand. “Oh, and the country code is zero-zero-eight-one.” Great. Now he can’t even use that as an excuse.

“Thanks,” Calum says, hoping it comes out genuine and not sarcastic. “I’ll, uh. I’ll call him, then.”

“Do,” Karen says, and Calum can tell she’s positively beaming. God, he’s a terrible person. “I’m so happy you called, Calum. I should have known you two would have stayed in contact and not let any of this Blur versus Oasis nonsense get in the way of your friendship.”

“Yeah,” Calum says feebly, feeling guilt tap insistently at his lungs, waiting to be let in. “Well. It was nice talking to you?” He’s not sure how to end a phone call that isn’t either a polite speak to you soon or an exasperated Liam, you cunt, don’t you fucking hang up on m-

“Of course!” Karen says brightly. “I’m very proud of you, Calum. Y’know, I remember you getting your first ever guitar, and look at you now. I’m glad you kept your head screwed on straight.” Calum thinks of the three thin white lines Liam had cut for him earlier that are probably still in his bloodstream, and winces.

“Yeah,” he says, trying for grateful. “I, uh, I try. Thank you.”

“I’m sure I’ll speak to you soon,” Karen says. “I hope you manage to catch Michael!”

“Thanks,” Calum says again, and hopes he doesn’t sound like he wants to gouge his own eyes out. Karen doesn’t seem to notice, though, just chirps a happy goodbye! and leaves Calum to stare at the telephone keypad, holding the receiver loosely in his hand, like he can’t really believe what’s just happened.

Well, fuck. Now he’s got to call fucking Japan.

Calum sighs and starts dialling the number, sending out prayers that Noel’s got some really big fucking tunes up his sleeve for the next album to pay for this call. It rings three times, and then there’s a click as someone picks up.

“Hello?” It’s not Michael. Jesus Christ. Why the fuck is wishing someone a happy birthday this much of an ordeal?

“Is Michael there?” he asks. There’s a short pause.

“Who’s calling?”

“A friend,” Calum says. “Who’s this?”

“Graham.” Which one was that? The one with glasses, right? The other guitarist?

“Right. Is Michael around?”

“Depends on who’s calling.” Calum sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. Wishing someone a happy birthday really shouldn’t be this fucking hard.

“It’s Calum,” he mumbles. “From Oasis,” he adds, in case Michael happens to have met a few more Calums in the past couple of years.

“What the hell are you calling for?”

“Why the hell d’you think?” Calum knows he sounds hostile, but he doesn’t care, not when the nervousness that had been contained in his stomach is starting to seep out into his bloodstream.

There’s another pause.

“Alright,” Graham says, but he still sounds suspicious. There’s a rustling sound, and then Calum hears him yell Mike! Calum’s on the phone for you. Yes, Oasis Calum, d’you know any other Calums? Well, okay, yeah, but you haven’t spoken to him since last Chri-

Every second feels like an eternity - although that’s probably at least slightly to do with the fact that he’s spending his entire month’s pay on this call - but eventually there’s more rustling, some fierce muttering that Calum can’t understand beyond - in the bathroom, you dick, and then the sound of a phone being lifted to someone’s ear.

“Calum?” Michael says, and there are footsteps, like he’s walking as far away from the handset as possible.

“Happy birthday,” Calum says lamely. All of this for those two words. It feels incredibly anticlimactic.

“Oh,” Michael says, and he sounds surprised. “I mean. Thanks. I didn’t think you’d remember.” Neither did Calum.

“Well,” Calum says, because he doesn’t want to say that. “Just wanted to call and- uh, say happy birthday, I guess.”

“How’d you get this number?” Michael asks, sounding curious. Calum bites his lip.

“Your mum gave it to me,” he says.

“You rang my house?”

“Well, it’s the only number I have for you, isn’t it?”

“Did you tell her it was you?”

“Yeah.” Michael exhales heavily.

“I haven’t told her,” he admits. “That we’re talking again. Or- y’know. I just haven’t mentioned.”

“I know,” Calum says. “She was surprised that I called.”

“What did she say?” Michael asks. Calum swallows.

“Just, y’know, nice to hear from me, she’s glad I called, all that,” he says vaguely. Michael hums, like he’s mulling it over, and Calum’s stomach flips. Maybe he shouldn’t have called at all. Maybe Michael wants Calum to be his dirty little secret just as much as Calum wants Michael to be his. After all, Calum’s own mum doesn't know either, does she? It’d be hypocritical of Calum to hold it against Michael if he wanted to keep it under wraps too.

(It still kind of stings, though.)

“I’m going to get a fucking Spanish Inquisition when I get home,” Michael says eventually, and Calum huffs out a laugh, stomach untangling itself a little from the tight knot it’s been in for the past five minutes.

“Yeah, probably,” he says, the ghost of a smile flitting across his face as he thinks back to being grilled and reprimanded by Karen any time she got so much as a whiff of a secret from either of them. “D’you remember that time she thought we-”

“Remember when she thought we’d been out smoking weed?” Michael blurts at the same time, and Calum can’t help but smile properly this time, heart somersaulting at the fact that Michael remembers too.

“She was so angry,” Calum says, through a grin. “Kept saying she could smell it on you.”

“Fucking crazy woman,” Michael says, but Calum can hear that he’s grinning too. “We couldn’t afford weed, what was she on about? We hadn’t even been drinking, just been-” he cuts himself off abruptly, and the smile drops off Calum’s face.

They’d been fucking, is what they’d been doing.

“Good thing she didn’t smell that on us,” Calum tries, and Michael huffs out a small laugh, but it’s tight and uncomfortable. Neither of them speak again for a moment, the silence awkward and palpable, until Michael sighs.

“What are we doing?” he mumbles, sounding a little pained.

“I’m wishing you a happy birthday,” Calum says, because he doesn’t want to follow the road that Michael’s words are beckoning him down.

“You know what I mean,” Michael says. “We need to talk.” Calum’s stomach twists. Those words are never followed by any good conversations.

“Do we?” he says, hoping it doesn’t sound as apprehensive to Michael as it does to him. He doesn’t want to talk. He doesn’t want to have that conversation, to hear Michael say you fucked up, and this is it, doesn’t want to have to go all the way to see him just to hear him say I don’t want you anymore.

“When are you back in the UK?”

“December,” Calum says. “Late December. Near Christmas, I think. I’ll have to ask Maggie.”

“Maggie?”

“Our tour manager.”

“Oh.” There’s a moment of silence. “Well. Call me when you’re back?”

“Look,” Calum says, a little desperately, clutching the receiver to his ear. “I- if you want to, like, end whatever this is, not talk to me anymore, I’d rather you just do it now. I don’t want to travel all the way to London for you to tell me you never want to speak to me again.” Michael inhales, and doesn’t exhale.

“I didn’t say that,” he says carefully, after a minute. “But we need to talk.” Calum blinks at the telephone keypad. He’s not sure what to make of that.

“Okay,” he says. “I- uh, yeah. Okay. I’ll call you when I’m back home?”

“Yeah,” Michael says. He pauses, and then adds: “I should go. I locked Graham in the bathroom to take this call.” Calum can’t help the snort that escapes him.

“I should try that on Liam,” he says.

“I think it’d take more than a bathroom door to contain Liam Gallagher,” Michael says. He’s got a point.

“You’ve got a point,” Calum concedes, and he hears Michael huff out a small laugh at the other end of the line, crackled and tinny but genuine and soft. “I should probably go too. I’ve got a show in a few hours.”

“Where?”

“Berlin.” Michael hums.

“We played there a few weeks ago,” he says.

“I know,” Calum says, without thinking. “Uh. I mean. The posters are all still up.”

“Surprised Liam and Noel haven’t gone around tearing them all down,” Michael says, and Calum can hear the smile in his voice.

“I think they’re planning on pasting posters of us over you.”

“Hope they have a lot of them.” Calum grins, eyeing the three Blur posters he can see in his line of vision.

“That’ll be my entire share of the royalties gone,” he says, and Michael snorts.

“I really should go,” he says, sounding a little regretful. “I’ve got to spend at least half an hour convincing Graham not to tell Damon I locked him in a bathroom to talk to you.”

“Why?” Calum’s not sure why he asks, because he’s fairly certain he doesn’t want to hear the answer. Because I don’t want anyone to know we’re talking. Because I want to keep you a secret. Because I’m ashamed of you. It’s even worse because he can’t blame Michael for it.

“If I do anything to Graham, Damon takes it as a personal attack.” Oh. Well. That probably shouldn’t make something warm blossom in Calum’s stomach, the fact that it’s not because of him, but it does.

“Damon doesn’t seem particularly intimidating,” Calum says.

“You fucking wait,” Michael says, and there’s a fondness to his tone that makes Calum’s heart ache, because Michael used to talk about him like that. “Call me when you’re back in the UK, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Calum says. “Bye, Michael.” He’s expecting a click, the thin sound of the dial tone, but it doesn’t come.

“I’m glad you called,” Michael says after a moment, all in a rush, like he’s had to build up the nerve to say it.

“I’m glad I did, too,” Calum says, and he can’t help the small smile playing at his lips. Michael’s glad he called.

“I’ll see you soon,” Michael says.

“Yeah,” Calum says, smile slipping off his face as his stomach flips unpleasantly thinking of the inevitable conversation. “Soon.”

The dial tone rings loud and harsh, and Calum listens to it for a good few moments before putting the phone down and stepping out of the booth. Three Michaels stare at him from different angles as he heads back for the hotel, declaring something in German that he can’t read, eyes seeming to follow Calum as he turns the corner. They seem almost disapproving, like they know Calum doesn’t want to talk. Or maybe that’s Calum’s guilt-ridden imagination.

Well, Calum thinks, stomach flipping as his eyes find another picture of Michael plastered to a lamppost. At least they aren’t posters of Noel and Liam, in that case.

-------

December comes far too soon.

The album goes platinum while they’re in Southampton, or maybe Sheffield, and Calum joins the rest of the band at some grimy nightclub, drunk and high and full of adrenaline because shit, that’s their fucking album. Number one and platinum, fucking hell. It doesn’t feel fucking real.

They film a video for Whatever somewhere in London, and Noel turns up late to the filming, still dressed in his clothes from the night before, so drunk that he can barely play his guitar. Liam’s fucking furious, probably because this is the first time Noel’s ever been drunker than him, and Calum has to spend the rest of the day making sure Liam doesn’t go into the same room as Noel, because they still have a few weeks worth of dates in the UK and they could do with having both the lead guitarist and singer alive for them.

The UK dates pass so fast in blurs of games of Frustration on the tour bus as green and grey whip past the window that Calum barely notices that it’s their week off until he sees a river that looks suspiciously like the Mersey and asks Noel where they are.

(“Liverpool,” Noel says, throwing him a strange look.

“We’re going home tomorrow,” Liam adds.

“Too right you’re fucking going home,” Noel says. “Not fucking kipping at mine again.” Liam scowls, opens his mouth with an indignant expression, and Calum decides now’s a great time to find Alan and ask him about the re-stringing of Calum’s bass he’d said he’d sort out before the gig.)

He’s so exhausted after their last show, having his first proper comedown in weeks, that he can’t do anything but crash through the front door and stumble to his bed at six in the morning. He sleeps like the fucking dead, and by the time he gets up and showers, feeling a bit more alive than he has done the past few days, it’s nearly dark outside.

“Good morning,” his mum says pointedly, when he wanders into the kitchen, yawning, and pulls open the fridge.

“Morning,” Calum says, pulling out a beer and some leftover pasta. “Where’s Dad?”

“Gone fishing,” his mum says. Calum grunts to let her know he’s acknowledged it, and heads to the microwave.

“Liam called earlier,” his mum says, as he presses some random buttons - he really should figure out how this microwave works - and then sets it off.

“Oh?” Calum says.

“He was asking if you wanted to come round tonight,” his mum says. Calum hums, frowning a little. Liam’s not very good at being on his own, no one to take his endless energy out on now that both Paul and Noel have moved out, but he can usually take at least a day or two.

“Might do,” he says, because there might be something more to it if Liam’s already itching to see him again after less than twenty-four hours, and then sees the disappointed look on his mum’s face. “After dinner?” Her face clears, and she nods.

“We’ll be eating around seven,” she says. “Oh, and another bit of wall’s fallen in. Could you take a look?” Calum groans, and tips his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Fucking hell,” he mutters under his breath, drawing out the first syllable. His mum tuts, and the microwave dings. “Yeah, alright.” He opens his eyes and reaches for the microwave.

“Michael called, too,” his mum says, and Calum swears again as the plate drops out of his hand and crashes to the floor, smashing to pieces and dropping hot, steaming pasta everywhere. His mum jumps out of the way, swears loudly, and says: “Bloody hell, Calum.”

“Sorry,” Calum says, scrambling to his knees to try and pick up as many pieces of plate as he can. “It was hot.” His cheeks are burning, partially from embarrassment and partially from whatever’s making his heart race like it is, and he stares steadfastly at the floor as he shuffles around.

“What did he want?” Calum asks, as casually as he can, speaking to the floor.

“He didn’t say,” his mum says. She hesitates, and then adds: “What’s going on with you two?” Fuck if Calum knows.

“I don’t know,” Calum says, still not looking at her. He doesn’t want to see the inevitable disapproving look on her face, the motherly instinct to stop him doing something that’s probably just going to get him hurt etched on her features.

“When did you start speaking again?” Calum hesitates, hand hovering over a shard of ceramic. He’s not really sure himself. Would it be the awards show? Or Glastonbury? Or that first phone call a few weeks later? It’d be Glastonbury, he supposes, because Michael hadn’t even acknowledged his existence at the awards show, couldn’t even look Calum in the eye. Glastonbury had been the first time Michael had admitted to the both of them that he still remembered Calum.

“Glastonbury,” he says, and his mum inhales sharply.

“Why didn’t you say?” she asks. Calum sits back on his heels, looking up at her, and shrugs.

“I didn’t know how,” he says, which is sort of the truth. He leaves out the fact that he hadn’t really wanted to tell her, had wanted to squirrel it away, the last little piece of Michael that he could have to himself.

Her expression softens, and she purses her lips, a little sadly.

“Be careful with him,” she says, and Calum’s not sure whether she means Calum should protect himself or protect Michael. After all, she’d seen all the unopened letters Michael had sent.

“Yeah,” he says, looking back down at the pasta still spread across the floor. It feels sort of fitting, somehow. “I’ll try.” His mum sighs, and pushes herself off the kitchen counter she’s been leaning against.

“Go,” she says. “I’ll clean this up.”

“No, it’s alright, I-”

“Go,” she says, a little more sternly, and Calum gets to his knees, wiping his hands and dusting his knees off.

“Alright,” he says. “I’ll just-”

“Call him,” she says. He hates that she knows him so well.

Calum heads out for the phone in the hallway, not wanting to take the call in the living room or kitchen where his mum might eavesdrop, and dials Michael’s number. He twirls the cord around his finger while it rings three times, until there’s a click and someone picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Oh,” Michael says. “Hi. Your mum said you were asleep.”

“Yeah,” Calum says, a little apologetically. “I didn’t get up until, like, half an hour ago. We played our last show for a while yesterday.”

“Oh,” Michael says again, a note of recognition in his voice. Of course, Calum thinks; Michael’ll know what last shows - particularly home shows - are like. “Well. I just wanted to see if you were home, really.” He doesn’t say why, but they both know.

“I am ‘til the twenty-seventh,” Calum says. Michael hums.

“When can you come down?” Calum exhales heavily. He could go down any day, really. Tomorrow, if Michael wanted. He’s not sure whether he should just get it over with, or whether he should make the most of the last few days that he might have with the secret feeling of maybe there’s still hope. It’s been six months; he can probably stand a few more days of anticipation. But then again, it’ll be better to get it out of the way now, to have as long before Christmas as he can to gather himself after whatever Michael will throw his way so that it’s not overshadowing the few days his parents will get with him before he’s off again.

“Tomorrow?” he offers, a little tentatively. He’s not sure whether it seems a bit too keen.

“Yeah, tomorrow’s good,” Michael says.

“I can be in London for twelve?” He winces, thinking about how early he’s going to have to get up for that.

“Twelve works. Where d’you come in?”

“Euston.”

“Can you get to Camden?” Michael asks. “Or d’you want me to pick you up?”

“No, I can get there,” Calum says, even though he’s not entirely sure he can.

“Alright. I’ll give you my address, hang on-” there’s scrambling at the other end of the line.

“D’you not know your own address?”

“I- well, sort of, but-” Calum can’t help but laugh. “Fuck you,” Michael says, but Calum can hear he’s smiling too. “You got a pen and paper?”

“Yeah,” Calum says. Michael reels off an address, postcode and all, and Calum dutifully jots it down, only stopping him once to ask whether he’d said D or E.

“Alright,” Calum says, re-capping the pen and tearing the sheet of paper off the pad next to the phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“See you tomorrow,” Michael echoes, and Calum only hesitates for a moment before hanging up. It feels strange, he thinks, not to hear the dial tone ringing in his ear, one last reminder of Michael even after he’s gone.

(He wonders whether Michael lingered like he always does.)

-------

Liam ends up coming round for dinner, sounding relieved and grateful when Calum calls him and offers, making Calum frown and file the information away to quiz him on later. Calum’s mum rolls her eyes and makes exasperated noises when Calum tells her he’s coming, because now I have to make dinner for four people, Calum, couldn’t you have told me a bit earlier? but Calum knows she doesn’t really mind. Brash and corrosive though Liam can be, he’s got a childlike charm to him that captivates anybody who meets him, Calum’s parents included. They spend dinner laughing at stories Liam tells about tour, exaggerated and carefully skipping over all the drug use, and Calum’s mum even waves them away when they go to help wash up, tells them with a smile to head to the pub, go on, enjoy yourselves, you deserve it.

“I fucking love your mam,” Liam says, practically skipping as they walk down the dark street to the pub. He’s not even wearing a coat, the fucking madman. Calum huddles further into his own, nosing into the collar of it as the cold wind whips at him.

“You’re just saying that because she made your favourite pasta,” Calum says, and Liam turns back to him and grins.

“Didn’t hurt,” he says. “C’mon, it’s cold.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you bring a coat?” Liam shrugs, hopping from foot to foot. Calum’s not sure whether it’s because he’s cold, or because he’s Liam.

“Nearly there, anyway,” Liam says, as they round the corner to the street the pub’s on. “Mam gave me a tenner for drinks.” Calum snorts.

“Why’s your mum giving you money for drinks?” he says. “You’ve got a fucking number one album.” Liam grins.

“Still the youngest kid, though, aren’t I?” he says, eyes twinkling. He’s got a point. Peggy would never give Noel a tenner for the pub.

“Y’know, I can see why Noel hates you,” Calum comments, and Liam’s grin widens as he pushes open the door of the pub.

It’s warm inside, and Calum says he’ll get them a table if Liam gets the drinks, which Liam doesn’t want to do until he sees a pretty girl tending the bar, and then he’s off like a shot. Calum squeezes between a bunch of tipsy men laughing far too loudly into a table in the back corner, wrinkling his nose as he steadies himself on the table and comes into contact with something sticky. Gross.

Liam, inevitably, takes a good twenty minutes to come back with the drinks and a phone number tucked into his shirt pocket, grinning and eyes twinkling as he sets Calum’s pint down opposite him.

“Took your fucking time,” Calum says, raising an eyebrow, and lifts the pint to his lips.

“Did you fucking see her?” Liam says. “‘Course I took my bloody time.” He takes a sip from his own pint, and then nods at Calum’s. “You owe me for that.”

“No I don’t,” Calum says. Liam scowls at him.

“That’s your fucking Christmas present then,” he says, and Calum rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling into his beer.

They drink in comfortable silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Calum’s enjoying the warmth of the pub, the familiarity, the way it feels a little like home. He wonders whether Sydney would feel foreign to him now, whether he’d still love the feeling of the warm sand under his feet at Christmas.

“We used to go to the beach at Christmas,” he says, without thinking. Liam shoots him a strange look, before his face clears.

“Oh, ‘s all the wrong way round down there, innit?” he says, like he’s just remembered. “Must be weird for you, Christmas being cold.” Calum shrugs.

“It was at first,” he says. “I’m used to it now.”

“Oh aye?” Liam sounds genuinely interested, so Calum carries on.

“Yeah,” he says, with another shrug. “I never saw snow until I moved here.”

“Did it freak you out?” Liam asks. “Seeing things all white, and that.” Calum blinks at him.

“What?”

“Well, if you’d never seen snow, what’d you think all the white stuff was?”

“I knew what snow was, you fucking idiot,” Calum says incredulously. “Fucking hell.”

“Well, how the fuck am I meant to know that?” Liam says defensively.

“You ever seen a camel? You think camels don’t exist?”

“ Yeah, but-”

“You thought I didn’t know what snow was?”

“How the fuck am I meant to know what they do and don’t teach you in Australia?” Liam demands, and Calum snorts and shakes his head.

“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Calum says, even though Liam thinking Calum didn’t know what snow was until he moved to the UK is entirely believable. Liam scowls, but it’s good-natured.

“Fuck you,” he says. “You wait, I’m going to fucking leave you in Australia when we tour there.”

“You wouldn’t last a minute without me,” Calum says confidently. “Who’ll save you from the bities?”

“The fucking what? Bikeys?”

“Or the freshies and salties?”

“What? Those aren’t words. You’re fucking making this up, you are.” Calum laughs, and Liam folds his arms, resting his elbows on the table.

“Watch it,” Calum says, nodding at his elbows. “Table’s sticky.” Liam looks down, and grimaces, unsticking himself from the table.

“Couldn’t’ve told me that before, could you, you prick?” he grumbles, dusting off his elbows, like it’s going to get rid of the stale beer.

“Didn’t know you were going to put your fucking elbows down, did I?” Calum says, and Liam just sticks two fingers up at him as he reaches for his drink again, making Calum grin in response and wink at him over the rim of his own glass.

They drink in silence for a while, listening to the chatter in the pub as they let the cosy atmosphere and the drinks warm them from the inside out. It’s nice, Calum thinks, downing the last of his pint. He hasn’t been alone with Liam in God knows how long, been stuck on tour buses and in planes with him and at least five other people for far too long, and he realises just how much he’s really missed his one-on-one time with Liam, the easy comfort of a friendship that both of them fall into without even thinking about it, the security of knowing their lives are irrevocably intertwined now. It’s nice that they don’t have to speak, that they can just sit here and drink each other in, just exist alongside each other in quiet peace.

Liam’s not usually this quiet for long, though, usually can’t contain his incessant energy for more than three minute bursts at a time, but Calum knows better than to push. There’s something there, but Liam will say it when he’s ready to say it, and not a moment sooner. Calum’s been burnt one too many times by his own good intentions in that area, so he just sits back, pushes his glass away from himself and waits. It only takes another few minutes of Liam staring down at the bottom of his glass, brows furrowed and deep in thought, until he suddenly says:

“Noel’s moving to London.” The penny drops.

Ah.

“Is he?” Calum says, although really, he’s not that surprised. They’re getting somewhere, and Manchester’s not exactly the place for an up-and-coming musician to be based. It’s been at the back of his own mind, but he’s been pushing it aside, preoccupied with too many other more pressing issues to worry about the logistics of moving that far out.

“Yeah,” Liam says, still staring at the bottom of his glass.

“You knew he would,” Calum says, trying to make it as gentle as possible.

“I know,” Liam says. He doesn’t sound as upset about it as Calum had expected, actually. “He’s going to look at houses tomorrow.” Shit. London’s big, though, isn’t it? What are the odds that he’ll bump into Noel?

“Did he say where?” Calum asks, hoping it comes out casual. He wishes he had another pint in front of him, wanting something to do with his hands and feeling just how sober he is all of a sudden, so used to either being on a high or a comedown.

“Yeah, but fuck if I remember,” Liam says, with a shrug. “I’m going with him. Cunt’s making me get up at eight to catch the train.” Oh, fucking brilliant. Two Gallaghers to avoid in London, not just one. Is it too late to call Michael and reschedule? Probably; his mum’ll be listening if he makes a phone call when he gets back from the pub, and he doesn’t want to deal with all those questions. It does explain, though, why Liam doesn’t seem all too torn up about Noel moving so far away; Noel allowing Liam to come and look around with him is a silent acknowledgement that he knows Liam’ll be spending more time there than he will at home, most likely, so it’s got to be a place he likes too.

“You’re a fucking scrounger,” Calum tells him, knowing Liam will know what he’s talking aout, and the ghost of a smile crosses Liam’s lips, but doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he plays with the rim of his glass. Calum frowns. He’s missing something.

“What?” he asks, and Liam shrugs, a little uncomfortably. He’s feeling something he’s not sure how to articulate, then, something he can’t channel into punches or barbed words. It’s something to do with Noel, because that’s the only topic he never knows how to approach while knowing exactly how to navigate it with his eyes shut and his hands tied behind his back, but it’s not something that Noel’s done, or Calum would be fucking hearing about it, and it’s not something that Liam’s done, or Calum would also be fucking hearing about it, but from Noel. It’s got to be something else, something that Noel doesn’t know about yet, something internal for Liam. Something about him moving to London, maybe, since he’s managed to bring that part up. Something that Liam feels about Noel moving to London, something that’s making him hesitant about accepting that he’s going to be spending a lot of time at Noel’s new place-

Oh.

“He’s not doing it to get away from you, Liam,” Calum says, and Liam swallows, finger stilling on the rim of his glass for a split second, and Calum watches a little apprehensively as two conflicting emotions flash across Liam’s face; anger, irritated and embarrassed at the fact that Calum’s just called him out on it, and vulnerability, afraid and wanting Calum’s reassurance. Calum knows Liam better than almost anyone, and even he can’t ever tell which way it’s going to go. Luckily for him, though, Liam seems to struggle with himself for a moment before he exhales heavily, and slumps back in his chair.

“You don’t know that,” he says.

“I do,” Calum says. “He’s your brother, Liam.” Liam looks pained at that.

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “But- y’know. After LA.” He doesn’t say anything else - probably doesn’t know how or what to say - but Calum gets it. Everything had changed after Whiskey-a-Go-Go, shifted a few centimetres to the left, and even though everything’s okay again, it’s a different kind of okay to before.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Calum says, because it wasn’t.

“Wasn’t it? I was a right cunt.”

“You’re always a right cunt,” Calum says, but he doesn’t mean it unkindly, or even teasingly. He means that’s just how you are, and we’re all still here, aren’t we? “And anyway, so was Noel.” Liam has to concede there, tilts his head to indicate yeah, I s’pose.

“I dunno,” he says, still staring steadfastly at his empty glass. “Maybe he just needs a break from me.”

“He always needs a break from you,” Calum says. “But he never takes one.”

“Took one in LA.”

“Yeah, and then he came back,” Calum says. Liam seems to mull the words over, let them roll around in his mind, see how they feel, but Calum can see from the look on his face that they aren’t quite enough.

“Maybe you should get your own place in London,” Calum suggests. Liam looks up for the first time, brow furrowed. “Then you could be close, but not too close.” Liam’s brow stays furrowed, but he hums thoughtfully.

“You think?” he says, sounding a little uncertain. Liam moving out of Manchester is quite a big step, the city etched into his veins like none of the rest of them, but it makes sense. And, Calum thinks, they’ll probably all have to move to London, eventually. It might be better to get it done at the same time as Noel, to have someone who knows how to navigate Liam’s inevitable misplaced temper tantrums at the fucking movers or traffic or furniture shops when he’s really just stressed about the change.

“Yeah,” Calum says. “It’d do you good, anyway, being on your own. Probably do you and Noel a world of good too, not living on top of each other all the time.” Liam scrunches his face up, looking ten years younger than he is, like the annoying little kid that Noel must see him as, and then sighs heavily and nods.

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, you’re right. Yeah. Might have a look myself tomorrow, then.” Calum swallows. Not in Camden, he thinks as loudly as possible, in case Liam’s psychic.

“Yeah, do that,” he says out loud. Liam nods again, a little more decisively this time, clearly not listening to Calum’s thoughts, and then grins at Calum, bright and easy, like the past five minutes hadn’t happened at all.

“You’re getting the next round,” he says, and Calum sighs, all long-suffering, but heaves himself out of his seat, forgetting that the table’s sticky and squawking when he puts his hands down on it to support himself. Liam laughs delightedly, like there’s nothing in the fucking world that brings him more joy than Calum’s misfortune, and Calum scowls good-naturedly and flips him off as he heads in the direction of the bar.

Well, he thinks, as he jogs down the steps leading up to their seating area and weaves through tables of increasingly tipsy old men laughing far too loudly. At least Liam’s sorted. And London really is big, right? Must be twice the size of Manchester, at least. And he’ll be in Michael’s house, anyway, won’t he? There’s no way he’ll see Noel and Liam there.

Yeah, he thinks, flagging down the bartender. It’ll be fucking fine.

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chapter six

#malum #5sos fic #5sos fanfic #5sos slash #5sos fanfiction #ill be responding ot messages tomorrow i need some time to gather brain cells #this heat is SERIOUSLY doing me in #nadya...i have Some Thoughts but i need to collect the fics #god im literally sat in front of my fan on full blast and its just blwoing hot air at me SUFFERING #imagine not having yorkshire blood must be so nice

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returnn-of-the-mac · 5 years ago

Text

This is part 2 of this prompt asked by @thegamingduck88. There’s going to be one more part that’s going to take place several days later, when Sole has a prosthetic limb and has to learn how to walk again. No Codsworth, Ada, Strong, and Dogmeat to be found here. Thank you for your patience and please enjoy!

Part 1

Part 3

FO4 Companions React: Sole Losing Leg To a Mirelurk (Part 2)

Once they got Sole to shore, [companion] lay Sole down gently and investigated their injury. When they realized that an attempt to reattach the leg would be futile, they realized they would have to find another way to help Sole regain mobility.

MacCready:

“Well...this sucks. Leg reattachment isn’t going to work.” MacCready looked around and found a stick. He then used a plate, wonder glue, and a rope to make a stable peg leg for Sole, “Guess this junk wasn’t completely useless after all. Good call.”

Sole tried walking, but the leg kept sinking into the sand. MacCready put an arm around Sole and guided them to the raft they had taken to the island.

“It’s not perfect, but it’s something,” MacCready stated, “Practice makes perfect, right?”

Cait:

“Now what are we gonna do with ye?” Cait asked, her hands on her hips. “Yer helpless.“

An annoyed Sole tried to stand, but fell right back into the dirt.

Cait signed and held out her hand, which Sole graciously accepted.

“Look. I don’t know what where gonna do with ya, darlin. Ye can’t even stand on yer own two fe—er, one...foot. I can’t lug ye around like some kinda meat sack here, there, and everywhere.”

Sole stared sadly at their companion.

“Maybe we can find ye a doctor,” Cait suggested, “I don’t know how to help ye. I really don’t. But I’m going to try.”

Sole cracked a small smile, and Cait returned the gesture.

“There’re no doctors to be found on this island, so we havta go back to the mainland. We can come back once yer healthy again.”

The redhead scooped up Sole and placed them on a beached rowboat. She then hopped in and began paddling back to the Commonwealth.

Preston:

“I don’t think I can get that leg back on, General. I’m sorry,” Preston apologized, “But what you really need is medical attention. How about we get you to a doctor on the mainland.”

Sole sighed.

“We can come back when you’re better, don’t you worry about that,” Preston promised, “We just have to make sure you’re healthy. I think our best bet would probably be Greygarden. Those Mr. Handys and Ms. Nannys are adept at these kinds of things.”

Danse:

Danse sighed and gently helped Sole off their feet, putting an arm around them to stabilize them.

“The prognosis on your leg is bleak,” Danse began, “But I’ll take you to Cade and you‘ll be all right. He’s an expert at dealing with these injuries. It is not uncommon for our soldiers to lose limbs.”

Sole frowned at the news, and Danse sensed their disappointment.

“Proctor Ingram is missing a leg as well,” the Paladin reminded his companion, “And individuals don’t usually notice until she points it out. She has custom power armor and a high-quality prosthetic limb that was specially crafted for her. You will receive the same treatment, soldier. It’ll be alright.”

With that, Danse partially lifted Sole and leaned them against his body, helping them sit upright as he flared to a nearby Vertibird for help.

Hancock:

“That leg is in pretty rough shape, my friend,” Hancock admitted. He thought for a moment. “I mean all I can really do now is offer you some chems and bring you back to Goodneighbor to see Doctor Amari.”

Sole sighed.

“I know that’s not what you wanna hear, [brother/sister], but that’s the best option we’ve got. You don’t want that leg getting infected, do you? If that were to happen...that’s a whole cesspool of shit that you don’t wanna deal with. Trust me.”

Hancock wrapped an arm around Sole, helping them to their feet. He guided them to a beached rowboat.

“The good news is that we know where Spectacle Island is now, so we can always come back when you recover.”

Deacon:

“That leg isn’t coming back on, pal,” Deacon stated, “Sadly, humans aren’t as easy to put back together as Mr. Pumpkin Heads.”

He looked around, almost immediately spotting the beached rowboat.

“Leaving you here isn’t an option, obviously. It’s against the tiny print of our contract,” Deacon joked.

An unamused Sole squinted.

“Hey, hey! I’m only teasing! I wouldn’t even think of abandoning you here; I’m not a Brotherhood member, after all! We’re all bog dysfunctional family, right?”

Deacon helped Sole to their feet and guided them to the rowboat, “I’m going to bring you back to the HQ. Those guys know more than I do when it comes to this kinda medical mumbo-jumbo.”

Piper:

“Oh Blue you’re leg...it isn’t good,” Piper states, biting her lip, “I don’t think we’re gonna be able to save it.”

She mournfully looked at Sole, and then scanned the area for anything she could use to aid them.

“What you need is a doc, Blue. Someone with medical training. And that’s not me, sadly. We can probably use that little boat over there to get you back to Diamond City. Dr. Sun is good at what he does.”

Piper helped Sole to their feet and guided them to the rowboat. She struggled a bit before noticing a large stick on the ground.

“Blue, here. Why don’t you use this stick as a can and put some of your weight on it,” the reporter suggested, “I’m a journalist, not a body builder you know.”

Curie:

“Hmm. This is going to be...um...tricky,” Curie began, stroking her chin, “The salt water— or maybe the time it took for us to get to shore— made the leg near impossible to reattach. I sincerely apologize, [Madame/Monsieur].”

She sat in the sand, dumping all the contents of she and Sole’s bags on the ground. She picked around their combined inventory for nearly an hour, pulling out various odds and ends. When she was finished, she turned to Sole, purified water, Med-X, and stimpack in hand.

“I will be making a prosthetic limb out of what I was able to scavenge —giddyup butter cup legs, gears, other items— and I will be attaching it,” Curie gently held Sole’s hand, “I will use Stimpacks to help you through the process, and Med-X as anesthesia so you do not have to see or feel anything.”

Sole gulped and Curie giggled.

“No need to panic, had a been a human , I would have had the equivalent of a— PhD, is it? I would have been one of the most certified medical specialists in the Commonwealth. You are safe. Do not fret, [Madame/Monsieur].”

X6-88:

“You need professional medical assistance, [sir/ma’am],” X6 plainly stated, “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I’m going to transport you to the Institute.”

Sole frowned.

“[Sir/Ma’am], I don’t think you fully understand the magnitude of this situation. That injury is severe. If it were to get infected, you would die. No doubt about it,” the Courser continued, “The Institute has among the most certified medical professionals around. All operations are also undergone in a safe, sterile environment to minimize the risk of infection. Are you ready to go, [sir/ma’am]?”

Sole nodded and X6 approached them. He wrapped an arm around them helping them to their feet and teleported them to the Institute.

Nick:

“Sorry to break it to you pal, but I’m going to be frank: there is no way that leg is going back on. It’s just too risky.”

Sole fought back tears, frustrated by the news.

The detective sensed their anguish and sat down next to them. “Hey, don’t feel defeated, now,” he reassured, “Do you know how many times I’ve had to be repaired? And I think I’m still pretty damn good at what I do.”

Sole took a deep breath, slightly comforted by their companion’s support.

“Now let’s get you into that rowboat and back to the Commonwealth. Dr. Amari can probably fix you right up. We can come back and establish this settlement once you’re feeling better, alright?”

Sole nodded in agreement and Nick helped them to their feet. He put his arm around Sole’s waist and carefully guided them back to the boat.

Longfellow:

“Hm. That’s quite the leg injury you’ve got yourself there,” Longfellow commented, “Now, I’m not a medic. I don’t have the slightest clue how to even approach this operation. I’ll I know is that I need my magic water.”

Longfellow took a swing of his whiskey and offered some to Sole, “Might help ya hurt less.”

The old man thought for a moment. “I suppose we could get you to the Mariner via,” Longfellow sloppily pointed his whiskey in the direction of the tiny rowboat, “Her.”

Sole nodded and Longfellow helped them into the rowboat.

“All hands hoy! Yes? Very good; anchors aweigh!”

Gage:

“Boss I ain’t gotta clue how to reattach ya leg over here. Hell, I don’t even know anyone competent enough to even reattach that sucker.”

The raider picked up the leg and studied it. He grimaced, and tossed it into the water. Sole gasped.

“We ain’t gonna be needin that anymore. Mirelurk food,” Gage shrugged, “What? Just bein honest, boss. What’re we gonna do? Mount it?”

The raider approached his companion, picked them up, and slung them over his shoulder, “Whatcha need is not me bullshittin around tryna pop in a limb that ain’t gonna connect. Ya feel? Ya need the real deal. I’m sure ya got some fellas in at least one of your settlements that’s a bona fide Doc.”

Gage plopped Sole beside him in the middle of the rowboat and began paddling to the Commonwealth.

#fallout 4 #fallout #fo4 #danse #paladin danse #hancock #deacon #maccready #piper #curie #gage #porter gage #nick valentine #preston garvey #longfellow #x6 #x6 88

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prvntcessa · 5 years ago

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listen up 10s a 4 is speaking! shdlaskhd what’s up sluts i’m cherry, i’m 21, use she/her pronouns and live in PST! this is mischa, princess of the russian mafia. she wears black lipstick, is massive scammer, laughs at videos of people falling down the stairs. here is a shorter sparknotes version of her bio and some fun and fresh headcannons

please enjoy this gif of mischa cosplaying indie xoxo

SPARKNOTES BIO!

skeleton: the career criminal

name: mischa dostoyevsky ( formally xia han)

age: 25

gender: female

pronouns: she/her

fc: natasha liu bordizzo

born as xia to a dirt poor family of literal SCAM artists. we luv a scamily babey! her parents basically sold fraudulent anti-aging serum to dumb, white new york tourists everyday ( with the added bonus of her older brother dressed up like an OLD ASS MAN doing cartwheels n backflips like woooow this stuff really works! ) her job was basically sneaking through the crowd of people while they were distracted and pick-pocketing their money, valuables, shiny shit etc.

that white savior guilt money was paying the bills until one of the karens they conned got hives from the allergic reaction to the red food dye they used in the fake serum and her brothers literal Old Man disguise flew off like 90s rapper fly away pants when it was windy as fuck one day so basically The Authorities Have Been Called Luv, the police showed up and xia didn’t know what to do bc she was a kid so she just BOLTED AND RAN ... does not know what happened to her family to this day

grew up on the street, continued the family business of being a fcking scammer and basically bought tampons by telling power walking, baby backpacking ladies that she was gonna have to feed little timmy cockroaches if they didn’t pay off, slept with crooked stock brokers, seduced old guys, cleaned out their apartments, stole all their money, jewels, watches, credit cards, priceless antiques -- THE WORLD WAS HER SUGAR DADDI BB

all of this changed on day when she making her nightly run by the alibi, a bar she called Dumb Rich Guy Bar and saw a weird old guy come out looooaded with what looked expensive shit, but she really wanted his pocketwatch which from her experience was mad expensive. so she did her lil routine and THOUGHT she stole the watch but LOL SPIDERMAN MEME, he stole the watch back and the ring she was wearing AND HIS BODY GUARD HAD A GUN PLACED ON HER. MMM WHATCHA SAY

so turns out the weird old guy she tried to steal from was VLADIMIR DOSTOYEVSKY!!!! THE HEAD OF THE RUSSIAN FUCKING MAFIA. yiiiiikes! lmao she was like cool im gonna die but he was like hold up, u chose the pocket watch, the only real and valuable thing i was wearing ... i like u ur smart u have fire, u remind me of my dead wife YOU WILL BE MY SUCCESSOR ur name is now mischa for my unborn son and i will teach u the ropes

so there is no more xia, only mischa, basically adopted by vladimir who she calls dad/nana and who calls her rabbit as a nickname (they play monopoly every night and VLAD CHEATS EVERY TIME BRO). she is the only girl in the bratva aka The Brotherhood which is what the russian mafia is called. shes kind of their wendy. shes worshipped outwardly but theres probably a lot of people that hate her ... which leads me to ........PAPA DYING! BIG RIP OG PAPA! he was poisoned at dinner and people say it was the italians but mischa is sure it was an inside job

bc of vlad dying *pour one out for vladdy daddy* mischa is head of the bratva aka russian mafia they call her PAPA bc thats how people refer to the mob boss SO SDHLLKDSH

ALSO PLOT TWIST! originally the plate that killed her dad was the plate she was given but he switched with her bc his piece of chicken was bigger and he wanted her to have it :((((( SO THE POISON PLATE WAS HER PLATE SO SOMEONE WAS TRYNA KILL HER DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

ok here are HCS they are from the bottom of my app xx

nicknames include who’s your papa, big papa and daddy purely because it’s iconic. but also she is probably that gifset where rihanna is talking abt how shes a bad bitch w top energy but is a massive bottom ahdlaks

mischa i think has to look a certain way of looking when dealing w the mob ( sort of girl boss, designer clothes, femme fatale ) but i think she is relatively unlady-like and prefers ratty jeans, plaid skirts, flannels, black combat boots, messy ponytails and the like when she’s relaxing. reminds her of life before.

practices makeup on dmitri and boris (her body guards) who complain a lot but also love her xoxo

owns a very big fluffy, luxurious cat named perogi, he’s her son, a gift from dear old dad.

has a pretty severe drinking problem ( vodka on the rocks is the poison ) after her father died and sleeps with a gun ( although i think she's better with a knife )

thus can drink you under the table also swears like an old sailor man ( is working on it, the whole mob sighs when she calls japanese businessmen idiot douche canoe fuckbags to their faces during monthly debt collections )

mischa can speak 5 languages in order to speak to people all over the world: madarin ( from her childhood ), english, russian ( mob ), spanish and french.

pansexual queen and i want to say scorpio

she’s grateful obviously to папа doing more off the grid, low quality criminal stuff without supervision because she is a truant, tramp, scam artist cat burglar klepto at heart <3

cinnamon roll meme: looks like she could kill you and would probably kill you

so i want to say she probably met the star of the show doing something where she snuck out at night with her bodyguards not knowing, wore her civilian clothes, blended in kept her head down because she missed freedom and accidentally met them out there like that under a pseudonym to hide her mafia life/continued to sneak out to see them like that before being exposed. very double life stuff angsty secret mafia princess stuff. we love hannah mon-mafia.

scared her parents will resurface/past will resurface ( supposedly папа bribed the police but . . . karma is a bitch )

has A LOT of suitors meant to strengthen The Empire and bridge conflicts between mobs but cares little, them: 💕, her: hocks a loogie and wipes on pants … she SUCSKSSKSS

has burped at important business dinners before and simultaneously has brought massive mafiosos to their knees. literally will have your dick cut off if you say something misogynistic, racist or something about her father :) she has a collection. ( its a big collection, but still quite little if you know what i mean )

rumored to have killed a man with the sharp end of her louboutin.

has a slight accent just from being surrounded by it constantly and word switches

smells like cinnamon and scraped knees

#heistintro #i hate her #pretends like she doesnt like being called princess also...luvs it #ur scary scorpio girlfriend

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thankskenpenders · 6 years ago

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Archie presents Ken Penders’ Knuckles the Echidna: A Postmortem

At long last, we’ve come to the end of the Knuckles solo series. Again, this is far from the end of the Penders Knuckles stories, but he no longer gets a whole series to himself. And thank God for that

While a 32 issue run (or really, 35, counting the first miniseries) might pale in comparison to Sonic’s nearly 300 issues, it’s a pretty impressive feat. That’s a lot of comics! A lot of series these days don’t get to enjoy runs that long. Hell, a lot are lucky to even last a year. And assuming that’s 22 pages of story in each issue, that means Penders got a whopping 770 pages of Knuckles comics where he got to do whatever he wanted

What did Penders spend those 770 pages doing? Well, he sure introduced a lot of new echidnas, that’s for damn sure. Let’s break down the Knuckles series arc by arc and briefly summarize what each one actually contributed to the world of Archie Sonic

Sonic’s Friendly Nemesis Knuckles miniseries #1-3

Characters Introduced: Enerjak. Knuckles also first meets Archimedes, who had been previously set up

Summary: Knuckles meets and begins to work together with Archimedes, who he inexplicably trusts right away. Enerjak comes back and announces he still wants to take over the world. Knuckles beats him up

Lasting Impact: Archimedes and Enerjak/Dimitri stick around as important-ish characters

Knuckles #1-3: The Dark Legion miniseries

Characters Introduced: The Dark Legion, Kragok, Steppenwolf, Christopholes, Menniker

Summary: The Dark Legion returns. The founding of the Brotherhood of Guardians is touched upon, as is their dumb pro-/anti-technology feud with the Dark Legion. Locke uses some sort of Chaos Emerald magic from afar to stop the Legion’s guns from firing so Knuckles can beat them up

Lasting Impact: The Dark Legion and the Brotherhood would be major players for the rest of the story

Knuckles #4-6: Lost Paradise

Characters Introduced: Julie-Su, Lara-Le, Remington, Helmut von Stryker, Gerbil, Hawking, Sabre, Wynmacher, some other fire ant whose name I forget

Summary: Ex-Dark Legionnaire Julie-Su suddenly defects from her faction to seek out Knuckles, because they “soul-touched” and now they’re destined to be lovers or something. Echidnaopolis suddenly comes back because reasons, and boy do they sure still have a lot of technology for people who said they renounced it. The dingoes are apparently evil fascists, and Hawking explains how racist he is to Knuckles.

Lasting Impact: Julie-Su and many of the characters here become mainstays in Knuckles’ supporting cast, and obviously Echidnaopolis becomes the main setting of the comic

#7-9: Dark Vengeance

Characters Introduced: The Echidna High Council, High Councilor Pravda

Summary: Enerjak comes back (again) and immediately becomes the new leader of the Dark Legion. Hawking is on life support. Enerjak kills Knuckles, but then the Ancient Walkers bring him back so he can be a Christ metaphor. Enerjak is defeated and turns back into Dimitri, who ages rapidly. Mammoth Mogul shows up so he can be trapped in the Master Emerald in the following Sonic issue

Lasting Impact: Dimitri’s old now

#10-12: The Other Road Taken

Characters Introduced: The Lost Tribe, Yanar, Athair’s mom (I forget her name), Rob O’ the Hedge and friends, Mari-An, Zax, Raynor, Gala-Na. Athair makes his first appearance in a Knuckles comic

Summary: The Lost Tribe is introduced. They’ve apparently been searching for the ancient echidna homeland of Albion in a big caravan for centuries. The Day of Fury happens, which doesn’t amount to much here compared to the literal apocalypses that share the title in the lore. They make a pit stop over in Snottingham in the Sonic series for some Robin Hood shenanigans, then Knuckles walks on water to lead them to Albion and continue being a Christ metaphor

Lasting Impact: These characters and locations are EVENTUALLY revisited, but not in the remainder of the Knuckles solo series

#13-15: The Chaotix Caper

Characters Introduced: Harry the cab driver, Mello (while dying), Unnamed(?) Echidna Doctor and Nurse, Downtown Ebony Hare, his fox girlfriend, his bulldog goon, the scientist guy who was making the drugs, Charmy’s family, Saffron, Jeepers the Bee Butler, a bear biker gang, Bimmy

Summary: Charmy’s apparent best friend Mello dies of a drug overdose. To investigate, the Chaotix all go to an amusement park, eat the drug-laced food, trip balls, and almost die. Charmy’s past is expanded upon so that he can then go home and get written out of the series. Knuckles starts to show off his Chaos powers

Lasting Impact: Harry sorta stuck around. We know more about Charmy, who is now gone

#16-18: Reunions, Deep Cover

Characters Introduced: Tobor, Moritori Rex, Spectre, Sojourner, Thunderhawk, Tobor’s family

Summary: Knuckles finds out his mom is getting married to Wynmacher. We find out that Lara-Le had major problems with the way Locke raised Knuckles, which goes nowhere. The Brotherhood convenes. We find out that one of them has been replaced with someone evil for years through one of the dumbest twists in the history of these comics. Knuckles beats up Kragok in jail, then Kragok and Tobor fuck off into a “quantum beam,” apparently killing them both. I didn’t even realize they died when I first read this. That may be a retcon

Lasting Impact: Tobor and Kragok died I guess. Lara-Le and Wynmacher’s marriage is teased

#19-21: The Forbidden Zone

Characters Introduced: Prince Elias Acorn, Queen Alicia Acorn, the bulldog colonel and his wife, a baby

Summary: Geoffrey and pals show up from the main series to rescue the Queen, only to walk right up to the Acorn family compound on Angel Island with no trouble and meet Sally’s long lost brother Elias, who nobody knew about. The Queen, meanwhile, is in a pod. Locke and Lara-Le meet up and he tries to kiss her for some mindboggling reason. Knuckles gets mad about all the secrets and finally meets the Brotherhood, but his dad isn’t there at the time. He also fights Moritori Rex (fake Tobor), who gets away

Lasting Impact: Elias would become quite important... over in the Bollers stories in the main series. He had nothing to do with Knuckles.

#22-24: Dark Alliance

Characters Introduced: Lien-Da, Benedict, Xenin

Summary: Echidna/dingo tensions rise in the runup to the election. Dimitri is a cyborg now. Lien-Da is apparently the new leader of the Dark Legion, and she kidnaps and brainwashes the High Councilor so they can rig the election. Tons and tons and tons of tasteless allusions to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust are made. Knuckles shows off his Chaos powers a little more. The fact that Remington is Kragok’s son is alluded to, but Penders never actually remembered to reveal this in a comic

Lasting Impact: None

#25: Childhood’s End

Characters Introduced: Harlan, Rembrandt, Aaron, one of Robotnik’s ancestors

Summary: Knuckles finally finds his dad... because he didn’t run away fast enough when Knuckles spotted him. Locke tells him the baby microwave story. He also tells him about a vision of the future he had, which scared him into doing all the horrible things he did, but this future never actually comes to pass in the comics. Knuckles immediately forgives his dad for experimenting on him

Lasting Impact: Locke’s not hiding from Knuckles anymore

#26-28: The First Date (feat. Friend in Need)

Characters Introduced: Raynor (not to be confused with the other echidna named Raynor), a bunch of nameless furry girls for Vector to ogle; Nic the Weasel, the real Fiona Fox, Ray the Flying Squirrel

Summary: Julie-Su is mad at Knuckles, so she goes out with some other guy for half a day. Vector tries to get laid and acts like an incel. Locke gives Knuckles the talk. Knuckles finally actually asks Julie-Su out, then has his 16th birthday party. In the backup story, Mighty, Nic, and Fiona rescue Ray from a time anomaly, and Fiona’s past is explained

Lasting Impact: Knuckles and Julie-Su are dating now. Nic, Fiona, and Ray stuck around as important characters in the main series

#29: My Special Friend

Characters Introduced: None (but this is only one issue)

Summary: Sally tries to get help from the Brotherhood now that Robotnik is back in the main series, but they refuse because Sally won’t use guns. Knuckles is a centrist who won’t firmly side with Sally, so she leaves angrily. Along the way, Sally rationalizes her dad’s attempt at Robian genocide

Lasting Impact: None

#30-32: King of the Hill (feat. Espio the Chameleon)

Characters Introduced: Monk, Hunter, Snowpidgeon, Aryu One-Two; Barney, Liza, and several other unimportant chameleons

Summary: Knuckles’ childhood bully, a large purple gorilla, returns to Angel Island after being yeeted into the ocean by the Brotherhood years ago. A human hunter named Hunter shows up to reenact The Most Dangerous Game. Monk falls during the fight and dies. Hunter is captured. In the backup story, Espio has a run-in with the roboticized Valdez, his apparent best friend, who he then murders

Lasting Impact: Hunter eventually made a minor appearance in a Bollers story years later. Valdez dies

Are you noticing a trend? Things keep happening in these stories, but it rarely has much of an impact. One of the Guardians was a traitor all along? Eh, doesn’t affect much. The Dark Legion candidate in the election ends up being a robot and dies? Eh, they had a replacement ready--but also, the election didn’t matter anyway.

Rarely do we learn anything of value about the characters. Knuckles doesn’t grow much as a person, and he never gets much of a personality. Julie-Su’s whole life revolves around being soul bound to Knuckles with only the faintest hint of her own personality. The Chaotix never contribute anything of value. When something comes up to make us question Locke and the Brotherhood, Penders then goes “No, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Supporting characters and subplots that go nowhere keep getting introduced just so it can feel like a lot is going on, but it’s all shallow. Knuckles has like 12 grandpas, most of whom are still alive, and only maybe three of them are distinct in any way. They all just talk like Penders, just like every character in these comics (except for Vector, who gets to be Urban). Things just keep happening around Knuckles, often without his actual involvement, while Penders says that every other arc is the biggest most important thing that’s ever happened.

It’s the oldest trick in comics. End on a cliffhanger. Say that NEXT ISSUE something interesting will DEFINITELY happen. Promise that the story is going somewhere. Just keep buying more issues! But the payoff never comes

While Sonic’s better stories have him sprinting around the world, the Knuckles series just plops him down on a treadmill for 35 issues. In the background, he’s listening to a boring documentary about echidna lore and genealogies

His life is in shambles

#KtE 32 #tkp post #hall of fame

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wheremytwinwatches · 5 years ago

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 45

Last time: Beard and Al had Awkward Family Bonding, Ed pimped out his ride, and Greed paid the Bradley’s a visit. Onwards!

We pick up with Bradley blocking Greed’s attack, yelling at Mrs. Bradley and Selim to stay back. Greed demands that Bradley explain what’s happening to him, why he’s getting these images clawing at his mind. And why was Bradley there? “Why did you destroy my possessions?!” Selim is off to the side being “protected” by Mrs. Bradley, a few shadows lengthening while Bradley mocks Greed for missing his garbage. Suddenly Mrs. Bradley accidentally knocks over a teacup, Greed’s distracted just long enough for Bradley to break the clash and go on the offensive. Greed’s dodging this way and that and actually manages to knock Bradley’s sword out of his hand, but Wrath just throws him across the room and catches the blade in midair anyway. A slice… and Greed’s Ultimate Shield breaks the blade! And with that Greed’s out the window.

[Guard]: “Fuhrer Bradley! Madame Bradley, are you and Selim alright?” [Madame Bradley]: “Y-yes.” [Selim!Thoughts]: “I hope you enjoyed your last day alive, you incompetent human fool.” Pride is not happy that he had to play Weak Little Human Boy and let Greed get away. But the shadows pull back for now. Light string music at a fancy house with a fountain now as [Armstrong the Great]: “Father- WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAT?! [Armstrong the Great]: “- I demand you retire.” [ARMSTRONG SR.]: *sparkle* “Oh Oliver, it’s been years since we last seen one another, and that’s all you have to say to me?” What the Leto?! Young lady, you have the gall to disrespect your father? To march into this home, call your father old, and demand to be named head of the family? I mean I get what you’re trying to do, order your family out of the country so they are safe from the Goth TC and all, but still! And to usurp The Mighty Armstrong as heir- He’s here! Aw, but The Mighty Armstrong is a pushover when it comes to his older sister. If she presses him now he’ll- [ARMSTRONG SR.]: “OOOooOOooh, Alex! Perfect timing!” [The Mighty Armstrong]: “Oh?” [ARMSTRONG SR.]: “Engage your sister in combat.” [The Mighty Armstrong]: *wat* Holy shit is this happening ARMSTRONG SR. is saying that the winner shall become the head of the family, that Armstrong The Great is insisting he retire and go to another country. [The Mighty Armstrong]: “She what?! How can you treat father with such insolence?! For shame! You’ve given me no choice!” The shirt’s off, the music’s up, this is happening. Move out of the way everyone, it’s an Armstrong Fight! Hey. Hey! Don’t you dare cut away now! Yeah it’s amusing that ARMSTRONG SR. is nonchalantly talking about taking a rest but we’re missing the fight. Oh. Ouch. They’re just going ahead and getting out traveling clothes and emptying the safe already? You have that little faith in your son? I feel bad for The Mighty Armstrong. Ah well, at least they’ll be safe. Damn. We can’t even see all of the fight, but with The Mighty Armstrong’s panicked screaming and Armstrong the Great yelling “Get Over Here!”-

-it’s pretty clear who’s winning. Oh jeez, The Mighty Armstrong got thrown through a door into a wall, and Armstrong The Great’s just dragging him back into the dining room as he screams for mercy. The guy’s tapping out for pete’s sake, you’ve won! The Elder Armstrongs and young Katherine are just walking to the car now, talking about souvenirs as poor The Mighty Armstrong gets tossed into the fountain NO. HIS HAIR!

For Leto’s Sake woman, enough! You’ve thoroughly thrashed your little brother, there’s no need to ruin his hair as well! Have mercy! Finally, Armstrong the Great’s had enough of beating on poor little The Mighty Armstrong. As the clear victor, she’s the head of the family now. Still, The Mighty Armstrong calls her out on associating with the Senior Officers, she snaps back that she can judge their complicity with her own eyes. [The Mighty Armstrong]: “And what have your eyes seen? Have you exiled Mother and Father to a foreign land so they can’t be taken hostage?” Armstrong the Great just smiles. And then orders the loser to get out of her mansion before his cowardice stinks the place up. ...so are we getting an episode title anytime soon? Now we’re at a train in Youswell? Have we been here before? Anyways it’s the east gate, oh it’s May! We’re seeing her off on her trip to Xing (maybe she’ll catch a ride with the Armstrongs?) when she runs into some Villagers, who are aghast at the idea that the little girl is going to cross the desert on her own. May’s quickly swamped with Small Town Kindness, everyone offering food and a place to stay the night. The young princess is crying at all this goodwill- oh shit. [Envy]: “They sure are nice, huh? You don’t even want to help them?” Damnit, what is it about putting Bad Guys in glass enclosures that turn them into master manipulators?

A half-dead Goth? No guarantee that the Emperor would be impressed enough to protect her clan. But bringing back the full secrets of Immortality. And save some innocent people, too. Yup, May’s off and running to Central, Envy sniggering about how he’ll stuff her in a jar once he’s gotten hold of a Philosopher’s Stone and restored his body. Mid ep-pictures of four people this time (The Mighty Armstrong, Wrath, Greed, and Armstrong The Great) and Ed (with an earring? Oh right, he needs to give that back to Winry). Late at night, Ed and the Chimeras have stashed the getaway car and are approaching a broken-down house. Hey, that’s the place they stored Gluttony, I recognize the carved-out earth from his Eraser Gun! Ed’s convinced that Al’s going to be here. [Monkey]: “Hey! There’s nobody here!” *smacks Ed upside the head* But wait, Lion just smelled something and pulled a gun. Monkey and Ed take cover as someone approaches- oh hi Greed! What’s up? Not you, you just collapsed on the ground. You ok, buddy? You’re kind of wearing our friend, so I’d rather you be alive. *stomach growl* [Greed]: “Hungry… need food…” [Ed]: “No, it’s Ling.” Quite a few cans later wait hold on it’s Ling? What, did he finally overpower Greed? Awesome! Less awesome that he ate all of their food but whatever Ling’s back! Ed introduces Monkey (Darius) and Lion (Heinkel). Now how to explain Ling’s backstory- [Ling]: “I’m a Homunculus.” Wow. Ok yeah, but maybe ease into the backstory? So Ling’s saying that Greed “had a falling out” with Wrath, in the confusion Ling regained control and needed a place to hide wait he’s wincing is he losing his grip? Hey! Stop hitting him, that’s not gonna help Ling fight back! Ok Ling’s still here but he’s telling Ed about Uncle’s plan to open the Gate of Truth. And Ling thinks the Elric Brothers should jump in? Ok yeah that might work to get Ed’s body back. Buuuut if the portal opens then that would mean the Nationwide TC was activated which is a Bad Thing. Setting that aside for now, when is the Day of Reckoning? Nope Ling’s on the way out, he can barely ask if Ed passed on his message to Lan Fan. Ed’s able to confirm that Al told his bodyguard, so Ling is thankful even as he’s overpowered. Now we’re back to Greed. Who… just leaves? Huh, I guess he did give his two weeks when he attacked Wrath. Now what’s he going to do? Start up a new- No. NO. [Ed]: “Then why don’t you team up with us?” [Greed]: *wat* [Ed]: “You’ve got nowhere to go. Why not come with us?” YES. Greed has flashes of his old crew as he turns wide-eyed to Ed… before he starts laughing at the idea of following the Protagonist. It’s a valid point, Greed is not the best team player, he’s got his fair share of pride and the idea of taking orders from someone else is against his very nature. Them following him’s a different story, but that’s not happening. Still, as he walks off thinking about how he’s so alone-

-Ling taunts him, saying if he’s just gonna whine he should join up with the folks who are offering. Or he could let Ling take control again, and tag along as the Prince becomes Emperor of Xing. [Greed]: “The ruler of a whole country?” [Ling]: “Not bad, huh?” [Greed]: “Pfft, get over it. You think too small. That’s just not enough. Now ruler of the world? I could enjoy that.” Hmm. And what about after that, Greed? Once you’ve taken over the world, aside from the massive headache it’d be to run everything, what are you going to do after that? Hey, it’s Ed and the Chimeras! Greed snipes at Ed for calling him Ling again (and decides to call him Greedling from now on, hah!) Ed- oh! So Ed accepts Greedling as his new boss (and drafts the Chimeras too, to their annoyance), saying that he’s been a follower ever since he joined the Military. As long as Greedling isn’t going to work with the Goths, why not follow him and get all the info from a former Goth that he can? Greedling flashes back to the original Greed chiding Ed way back when for losing his temper and laughs. New Crew Get! Monkey and Lion roll with the change in leadership, as long as they get food. As Greedling chats with his new mooks, Ed remembers that he still has Winry’s cold-proof earrings. Doesn’t look like he’ll see his girlfriend or brother for a while. Seems like the MPs are still looking for Izumi, bothering an employee at the Curtis Butchery. When Employee get’s a call the MPs head out (“We’ll be back.” “Well maybe you could buy something next time.” Retail, am I right?), but it turns out to be the Curtis’ checking in. Employee passes on a message from Al and Beard. So Izumi and Curtis are up north now? Curtis gets the message about the Day of Reckoning (do we have an actual date for this now?), meanwhile there’s some shooting in the forest as some poor sap in Lookout Post B calls in about an attack. Just one? [Headquarters]: “Hey! Are you still there? Point B, who’s attacking?” [Izumi]: “A housewife!” Uh, as happy as I am to see the Curtis’ again, why are you attacking Briggs troops? I can’t see any reason, other than make poor Sideburns and Buccy look bad for when the boss comes back home. Wait, Izumi got caught? Oh! So she pulled a Loki to pass on the message to Armstrong The Great’s flunkies. Who get Falman to pass it on to Grumman, who… goes to visit a black-haired female sniper? (I’ve been getting titlecards with each scenery change here but they’re all in Japanese for some reason). Grumman greets the sniper WHOA HEY NOW not cool dude! What is it with old guys in anime being pervs? Moving on the very understandably pissed off Rebecca is friends with Riza, she gets gussied up to meet the hostage in Central for coffee and complain about how Riza has all the military dudes for herself. And slips a paper into Hiyate’s collar along with a request to pass her “well-wishes” to Havoc. Now Riza’s visiting Havoc (still in the hospital after Lust), passes on some cigarettes and Rebecca’s hello, asking Havoc to say hi to Roy. Who was lurking behind the curtain? Ah right, with all the surveillance the most they can get away with is code in the cafeteria, a private meeting in the hospital would arouse too much suspicion. Here Roy, have a smoke to ease the stress. No really, “have a smoke”. And we end with the message passed from Beard to Al to Employee to Curtis to Izumi to Buccy to Falman to Grumman to Rebecca to Riza to Havoc to Roy: “Be prepared for the coming spring, when the Promised Day arrives. The North and East will make their move.” End cre-hey, the credits are different! Scenes of our guys preparing for the Promised Day it seems; Al and Beard are going over the Anti-TC, Winry and Rose are in the kitchen, Boar and Toad are working while Yoki struggles with a single rock, Izumi and Curtis are looking over their shoulders as they go to a snow-covered cabin, Falman’s pointing out a diagram for Sideburns and Buccy, Breda’s doing the Anime-Late-For-School-Toast-In-Mouth-Run while dressing, FUERY’S STILL ALIVE YAY a couple of bandages but he’s still fighting stay safe little buddy, Riza’s checking her pistol, Havoc’s in a wheelchair and boarding a train (he said he was heading back East earlier), Armstrong The Great’s sitting at an officer’s meeting probably wishing she could unload on them like she did her poor brother, said brother is feeling much better now doing his trademark Manly Shirtless Sparkle to a bemused Brosh (did anyone ever tell the poor guy his partner survived?), Scar and Marcoh are trekking through a desert, May is unfortunately heading straight back to Central, Greedling’s got his new crew probably trying to figure out what to do next now that he has People again, and Ed’s thinking about how to direct Greedling into helping save the country while still acting as a follower. Overhead image of Central, then down to Uncle’s Pipe Room where there’s Sloth, Gluttony (boo, he’s already regrown?), Pride and Wrath around a bored-looking Uncle. So many players, when they really get moving it’s gonna be- wait hold on, after-credits scene. Roy’s still walking along reading that note (dude you started reading at sunset and now it’s night, how slow of a reader are you?), wait dude that’s sensitive info if you just drop it the Goths could oh right finger-snap and the note’s ash. Episode 45 - “The Promised Day” ...episode title at the very end. Sure, whatever.

#wmtw #where my twin watches #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemist brotherhood #fmab #fmab 45

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