#pretty privilege discourse is rotting brains

[champagnemoon]

Whenever a woman my age or younger is going on and on about how older women in the workplace hate them so much because theyre just so young and pretty I wonder if they really think they give Malena (2000) like that lmaoooo

[shinra-makonoid]

It gets me in a bad way how trans men are expected to... embrace? love? always loudly acknowledge? having as a badge that we're different from cis men. And like, sure, is someone is comfortable to be like that that's fine, but why can't I receive the same treatment with wanting to be "just a guy"? I'd love to be a cis man - not because of w/e privilege etc., but because I want to have a male body. I remember seeing something like "I've transitioned (to male) and embraced my femaleness", which is like good for you but that's the opposite from what I want. And I feel like people expect us not to transition, just change clothes and be "tomboy extra".

I think we just circle back to the ever going discourse that used to happen years ago. Do we want to be men for social reasons or for biological reasons? Is the status for accepting ourselves is social or biological? There are probably very clearly different kinds of trans men transitioning for different reasons.

The only way I can make it make sense, is that I suspect that radfems (and pretty much everyone talking back then about it) have it wrong, that the reason why some portion of trans men wanna transition isn't because they want to have the privileges, or being seen as a man, or because they hate themselves as women, but simply because their place is to have a status of "not man" in society. I'm not using that to be mean or transphobic, but like the target is probably to be similar to how gay men are (wrongly) perceived by society. Not totally male, not totally female. As a visible trans man, you are expected to be a "woman man" in some way, in a balanced/harmonious/non threatening way. Not scary and a rapist like a "cis straight guy", rather a nice cute guy (both are gross stereotypes obviously but you get the idea). Which would explain why that category of trans men is so adamant of being different from cis men, because the place they are targeting through transition is not completely exactly of a cis man? But they might still do it for body dysphoria reasons actually, so it might not even be for social reasons.

Idk if that's the case, but I think that's at least part of the reason? I kinda hate how freakishly close to Blanchard my brain is getting lmao except I obviously don't think it's classified by sexuality either. If it was it'd probably be the opposite of Blanchard's anyway. I'd guess that straight trans men would rather be in the second category (nice friendly harmonious guy) because it's way more rewarding sexually for women. And it's more rewarding for gay trans guys to be "just a guy" because it brings a masculinity that is likable for the ultra obsessed masculinity gay communities?

... Or maybe it's the hate against men rotting their brain idk.

To be clear, I'm not saying I'm right or anything, I'm just thinking about it, I'm rambling. At the end of the day I'm not sure it's necessary to have different boxes of trans men either, because your usual cis society outside of your bubble is either gonna put you in the guy category of the girl category, and treat you accordingly to an impossible standard, just like anyone else. But it may explain the obvious disagreement about what trans men are.

[idkwhatimdoingbutimgonnacontinue]

...you're just going to ignore the history of the word gay because what? Because you think you can dictate the definition of something? You can't. Thats not how the world works. And I dknt think the fact homophobes use the word gay has anything to do with its actual definition. Which is:

Wow look. You're wrong. Are you big enough to admit that?

Oh so you're an aphobe and aspec? Internalized aphobia is always fun ig. I remember those days when I also believed aspec people shouldnt be in the community. It was pretty awful honestly. I'm sorry you feel that way about yourself. I am aware that some people who are aspec dont want to be a part of the aspec community but theyre a minority and ill respect their choices in what they want to do with their lives but just because a handful of them don't want to be a part of the larger queer community doesn't mean the aspecs who do cant be. Some people don't think their aspec labels greatly affect them, for some of us it really does. Being aroace is a big part of who I am. To have to be lumped in with allohet people because I'm not into people of my gender is ridiculous.

Just because you've never come across people saying bi people shouldn't be a part of the community because they have straight passing privilege doesnt mean it doesnt happen. I literally see it quite often. I dont know what rock you live under (I'm guessing the aphobe one but be what you want i guess).

And because I said I'd give you examples of how similar aspec experiences are to lgbt issues. I will

Bi people are "sexual deviants" - believe it or not ive heard asexuals called the exact same thing (which is weird since they're not really interested in sex) and allo aromantics who have sex with people theyre not romantically involved with

Bi women & their "fetishizer boyfriends" - allo aromantics & the fact theyre "sex fiends" aka they themselves are the fetishizer boyfriend (not always a boy but its mostly the boys who get this) and their partners shouldn't be called partners since there isn't love in the equation

Trans people are "predators" - ace allo people trying to have a relationship are apparently preying on their allo partner's love and leaving them high and dry with no sex, aro allo people not having a relationship but having sex and them coming across as sleazy and cruel even if their partner knew beforehand

Disgust & hatred - people tell us that saying you're asexual is gross because "nobody wants to know about your sex life #ThinkAboutTheChildren", allo people love to say we're inherently broken and need to be fixed (hello corrective rape and therapy, but my friend here seems to think its only for lgbt people ), aspec teens have been thrown out of their houses and assaulted for coming out as aspec, aspec people are at a higher rate of suicide because they

And honestly there is tons more that I have probably never heard of/cant remember in this moment. Are these exactly the same? No, why the fuck would they be. There aren't universal experiences in the queer community that everyone must have to be in the community. You dont tell a trans person who never experienced transphohia that they aren't trans. You dont tell a gay person who was accepted by everyone they know they cant be gay.

Also wow cant believe you just used cishet exclusionism in the tags. Didn't realize I was hetero in any way shape or form. Makes one wonder how you view aroaces what with the fact theyre literally not heterosexual or heteroromantic. Must have some funky dinky brain rot going on to think that.

Also what kind of fucking discourse post would this be? Who makes discourse posts like this? What the fuck are you talking about? You're just being an asshole at this point. Discourse posts are solely about how dumb aspecs are because very few of us bother getting into discourse because we know what happens. Just shut up about how this was all a misunderstand. Just shut up. Don't even reply to this post anymore, I'm so done with you and your dumb aphobe crap. Next reply is being blocked. Either that or block me. Fucking discourse post look like this. What the fuck do you take me for?

I need a shirt that just shouts that I’m queer but like unambiguously. Like I want all the homophobes in town to know that I am queer but I also know queer isn’t a well known word for “dirty homosexuals” around here and so like whats next???? Do I need a shirt that just defines the word queer?