#pretend the spit looks good bc if youre mean about it i will cry and i aint a pretty crier<333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[cpyclopse]

I saw a pose like this on pintrest and thought this is so ghiralink <333

[My art]

[theladyofbloodshed]

prompt for your acotar snippets:

nesta finds out what rhysand did to feyre under the mountain and confronts him about it bc that’s her baby sister!! i refuse to believe she wouldn’t be outraged.

Sorry this has been a long time waiting!

Nyx had been a little beast all morning for Feyre, spitting out his pacifier, grizzling at absolutely everything, tugging her hair. Her sister looked positively exhausted. When Nyx threw back his head in a tantrum, catching Feyre in the chin, he screamed harder. 

‘That’s it,’ Nesta snapped. ‘Give him to mean auntie Nesta.’

‘He’s not well. And I think there’s a tooth coming through,’ Feyre explained, bouncing her son against her, trying in vain to soothe him. 

Nesta lifted her nephew and held him near her face, inspecting his red cheeks and crocodile tears. ‘You are not being very kind to your mother. I’ll take him for an hour. Sleep.’ She gave her sister a look. ‘Or bathe.’

‘Nesta, it’s fine. He’s being a nightmare.’

‘Then he’s in good company. I insist.

It did not require much more convincing for Feyre to relinquish her son to Nesta. ‘If he’s too much then come and get me.’

Rhysand was busy elsewhere. He was constantly busy these days. As was Cassian. And Azriel. Illyria took up most of their time. They were gone for days. Nesta and Elain helped as often as they could to give Feyre a break but Elain panicked when Nyx cried for too long and Feyre was exhausted from staying up through the nights with him. He was a fussy child, likely due to his premature birth. 

Nesta lay him on the couch and swaddled him tightly despite his crying. Once the blanket was tight around him and he was strapped to Nesta’s chest, Nyx slowly calmed. He was calm enough for Nesta to venture out into the beautiful summer day.

They walked alongside the river. Nyx’s eyes stared out at trees they passed, unblinking. His tiny fingers flexed against Nesta’s chest, exploring his world. She loved her nephew. Nesta just wished her sister had a chance to live a little more before she brought a child into the world. His birth hadn’t been easy. Neither had the months spent carrying him. Nesta imagined that Nyx would remain an only child as a result.

Since his birth, the relationship between Rhysand and Feyre had changed. He loved her, of course, the mother of his child, but a baby put a strain on any relationship. Their time for each other had diminished. Feyre had stopped painting, stopped doing anything for her court, to care for their son. Once, Nesta had to bite her tongue when she was out when she had overheard a disgruntled fae commenting that the high lady had given up on their court. It was not Feyre’s fault that her mate left her to play mother while he swept off to Illyria.

Nyx gurgled happily on her lap as Nesta tossed handfuls of dry bread into the river for the ducks to squabble over. It was her favourite place to take him. It was the most mortal she could be.

‘Have you finished being a beast now?’ She asked, smacking kisses on the boy’s neck. 

He replied with a squeal and a kick of the legs. 

An elder male eased himself onto the bench next to them, giving a wave to Nyx. He had the tell-tale signs as one from the Night Court but his accent was from another place. The Winter Court, if she had to guess. 

‘My mother,’ he confirmed, gesturing to his dark hair. ‘I was raised in the Winter Court. A Night mother and a Winter father. A long time ago when courts weren’t as divided. To honour my mother’s memory, I returned to her home after that awful business Under the Mountain.’ He gestured to the vibrant city. ‘My bedtime stories were filled with tales of Velaris. They never did them justice.’

Nyx reached over to grab the male’s finger. He played along, bobbing it up and down, pretending Nyx was too strong to pull away from.

‘The heir of the court?’

‘The high lord’s double. Poor child.’

Nyx pretended for a moment that he was shy and pushed his face into Nesta’s abdomen. The child was not shy. He’d been held by more people than Nesta could list. A fae child was a rarity. One who’d be high lord one day was even rarer. He’d be passed around for his entire life.

‘It’s difficult to rectify the memories from Under the Mountain when I see this little treasure.’

‘I gather it was not an easy time.’ Nesta remembered sending Feyre back to Prythian so she could save her beloved high lord. A different high lord. They’d spent a day in the sun, learning to paint while Feyre shared her story from the Spring Court. She’d promised to write. Months later, her sister returned as part of the Night Court and a fae herself. It had been the start of a nightmare.

‘Fifty years of pain. I still struggle to see the high lord and lady together after what happened.’

‘Rhysand did what he had to,’ Nesta reminded him. Her eyes gave a cursory glance over the city of starlight. The city he kept safe with his sacrifices.

‘What purpose did it serve to do those things to his mate?’

***

Nesta’s blood was molten. Nyx slept in her arms on the walk back to the house. A walk wasn’t the truth. She had marched, blood pounding in her ears, like a general heading to war. If Nyx wasn’t in her arms, Nesta likely would have levelled half the city with her wrath. Her magic might have been gone, but her anger remained. It always stayed with her.

‘There’s my mate,’ Cassian called as she entered the house. The Illyrians had returned.

‘Where is my sister?’

At her lack of greeting, Cassian scrunched up his face and turned to the group. ‘Three days I’ve been gone and that’s what I get. No kiss. No hug. Not even a “hello my darling mate, I’ve missed you terribly”.’

Mor raised an eyebrow. ‘Nesta probably wishes you were gone longer.’

‘Where is my sister?’ She repeated through her gritted teeth.

Rhysand stood, ready to take his slumbering son from her. ‘Feyre is fast asleep. Thank you for taking Nyx so she could rest. What would we do without you?’

But Nesta wouldn’t hand him over. Would not give her nephew to his male. Her nephew was the only thing holding Nesta together.

At her refusal, Rhys frowned.

None of them ever spoke about what occurred Under the Mountain. They only ever repeated the sacred words that Rhysand did what he had to. Did they know? Did they know exactly what he did? Her mate would not allow it. Nesta refused to accept that Cassian could know and not care.

Her anger rattled her breathing.

‘Nes? Has something happened?’ Cassian tried to touch her, but Nesta flinched back.

She loved Cassian. But being mates meant she overlooked his flaws, his mistakes. They had all made a mistake in not telling Feyre that Nyx would kill her. All of them kept it on Rhysand’s command. Perhaps her mate did know what happened Under the Mountain, but loved his brother too much to care.

Nesta stroked a hand against Nyx’s black hair. Quietly, she asked a wraith to find Elain.

They waited in apprehension. Nesta remained rooted to the spot, a tree that refused to yield, with her nephew cradled in her arms. She ignored their questions. Refused to hand over Nyx to anyone but her sister. When Elain emerged from upstairs, she cast a bewildered look to the strange stand-off occurring.

Nesta shifted the baby into her arms. ‘Go to Feyre’s room. Lock the door.’

‘Give me my son,’ Rhys demanded, stepping towards Elain.

Nesta blocked his path with a hard palm against his chest. Elain was weak – a people pleaser. She wasn’t.

‘Do they know?’

‘What?’

‘Do they know?’ She repeated. Over her shoulder, Nesta said, ‘Elain. Go.’

‘Cassian, take your mate out of my house.’

Nesta had to laugh. That’s what she was when Rhysand was cross with her. Not a sister. Not a saviour. Cassian’s mate. That unwanted female that had shackled herself to Cassian.

‘Clare Beddor was my friend. The only friend I ever had in that village. You tortured her. Killed her family.’

Nesta recalled summer evenings sat on the hill atop a blanket, sharing dreams with Clare about their future husbands and adventures they’d might have. They had joked about running away together – the eldest daughters with their families’ futures resting on their shoulders. Clare had wanted to a mother, wanted it desperately. Nesta had stayed at their house once, shared the bed with Clare. The pair had spent the night whispering and giggling. One good night in a youth of misery.

Rhysand lowered his gaze to the floor. ‘It was a mistake. I went into her head so she wouldn’t feel any pain while it happened.’

‘A mistake?’ Nesta hissed. ‘Tell me, how do you torture a mortal girl by mistake? How do you drag her from her home and set it on fire – kill her family - by mistake? You knew what you were doing. Do not stand here and tell me that my friend’s death was a mistake.’

‘What is she talking about, Rhys?’ Azriel asked, a shadow leaping from him to snake around Nesta’s feet.

He shook his head. ‘Nothing.’

‘Nothing?’ Nesta echoed. ‘Nothing. Clare was not nothing. She was clever and kind and knew a thousand stories. She was my best friend. You killed her.’

Rhysand’s silence was worse than his anger. Nesta wanted to rage. Wanted to shake him by the shoulders and spill every terrible thing he’d done Under the Mountain.

‘You thought she was Feyre,’ she whispered. ‘If you knew Feyre’s true name, would it have been me and Elain whose house was burnt to the ground? Would we have been killed instead of Clare’s family?’

The pain in his violet eyes could have been genuine. Nesta did not give a damn. ‘I did many things I regret, Nesta.’

‘What do you regret most – killing Clare or turning my sister into your plaything?’ Nesta stared at him with pure hated in her heart. ‘You drugged her every night that she was your prisoner. Not Amarantha’s, yours, Rhysand. You put your hands on her, assaulted her, in front of a damn audience every night.’

His attempts at speaking over her were quashed when she yelled, ‘I have not finished!’

Oh, how Nesta wished that she hadn’t given up her magic for his life. She wanted to be the one to end it, right here and now on his expensive rug.

The others were staring, too stunned to speak.

‘You wanted to shame Tamlin. Feyre was a tool to do that. My sister was dying. What did you do to force her into a deal?’ Nesta slammed her hands into his chest to get him away from her.

‘I wanted to help her.’

‘Don’t lie!’ Her screech could have summoned the dead. ‘If you wanted to help her, you would have gotten her out of that place for free. You wouldn’t have forced her to come to this city. If she wasn’t your mate, would you have shown her Velaris? Would you have treated my sister with kindness? Or would she be your painted harlot, forced to dance on your lap to antagonise Tamlin?’

The male said nothing. Nesta did not think he could speak. From the looks on his family’s faces, this was news to them. Nesta could imagine it. Feyre Archeron, wife of the high lord of Spring, humiliated every month in the Hewn City for Rhysand’s entertainment.

‘Rhys? Is this true?’

He swallowed. ‘I was helping Feyre. I couldn’t be open with it.’

‘It is no wonder that the other high lords take Feyre as a joke when, for months, they saw her naked. They saw her drugged. They saw her dancing in your lap because you could not help but taunt Tamlin.’

Another piece clicked into place. Nesta tipped her head back in a mirthless laugh. ‘That’s why you can’t stand Lucien. Because he knows what you did. He knows and can’t understand why Feyre chose you.' She shook her head. ‘Did my sister choose you? Fate chose you for her. She didn’t have a damn choice. She is shackled to you. The male who abused her for months. The male who tried to drive a wedge between her and her sisters. The male who kept information about her pregnancy from her. You will never change. My sister cannot see it, but I can. I hope your family can now too.’

There was no limit to her anger. If Cassian hadn’t been stood to close, Nesta might have struck Rhys across the face, but she knew her mate would catch her wrist before she could.

‘When my nephew grows up, I hope he despises his father for what you did to his mother.’

[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !! 

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants. 

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study 

me:

yeah but im not gonna 

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a 

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I-  am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing. 

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about. 

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile. 

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself. 

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side. 

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm. 

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.” 

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts. 

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar. 

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night. 

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?” 

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.” 

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found. 

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists. 

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going. 

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.  

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later. 

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer. 

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.” 

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace. 

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…” 

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad. 

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?” 

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all. 

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs. 

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls. 

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over. 

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene. 

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand. 

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?” 

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-” 

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.” 

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd. 

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it. 

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether. 

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you. 

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed. 

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up. 

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone. 

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken. 

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.” 

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair. 

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock. 

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.” 

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room. 

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum. 

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.” 

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow. 

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly. 

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both. 

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is.  But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :* 

[amxranthiine]

imagine being the ex-friend of the slytherin crew. [she/her] (no voldy bc ew)

had this thought at 3am last night while fangirling with my friend last night. sorry for any errors <3

angst, mentions of parents disowning child, blood prejudice, mention of childhood/forbidden crush

- [ ] you had known draco, blaise, theo, pansy, astoria and daphne since you were very young.

- [ ] since you all were two to be exact. your parents were close and your birthdays weren't too far apart, so it was only natural that you all became a crew growing up, anxiously waiting for your eleventh birthdays.

- [ ] you all were inseparable. you learned to fly together, talk together, walk together... hell, you had all learned you were wizards together.

- [ ] you were always closer to blaise than the rest of the crew. you were younger than him, though not by much, and he seemed protective over you. as inseparable the rest of you were, blaise couldn't go anywhere without you, and the same goes for you to him.

- [ ] how ecstatic you were when you all got your hogwarts letters! you were going to be in the same year and hopefully, probably, the same house!

- [ ] it was expected of you all to be in slytherin, all coming from very long lines of prestigious pureblood serpents.

- [ ] the other six were more than confident that they would all be in slytherin together. you? not so much.

- [ ] you were very nervous, to say the least. you didn't portray the slytherin traits as much as the others.

- [ ] and when pansy or blaise would try to reassure you that it would be fine, you couldn't help but wonder if they were trying to convince you or themselves.

- [ ] and because you didn't portray the serpent traits, that made them all extremely protective of you. blaise especially, draco and theo coming close in second, and the girls just wanted to make sure you were okay.

- [ ] but the moment the sorting hat yelled out a name that wasn't slytherin, everything stopped.

- [ ] your friendships with your lifelong friends, your crush on blaise (okay, that didn't go away), everything you grew up with just... disappeared.

- [ ] your now ex-friends wanted nothing to do with you, even your parents didn't want to speak to you. your housemates were cruel, jesting about how you were a stain on their house, and a snake deep down.

- [ ] it was safe to say you had no one.

- [ ] the crew started being mean to you somewhere around christmas of first year. before then, they had just ignored you. just like everyone else.

- [ ] after christmas though... they seemed to have a new hatred for you.

- [ ] especially blaise, which hurt the most. you swore you were seeing things when you thought you saw sadness somewhere in his eyes whenever he was rude to you.

- [ ] you were alone for the remainder of first year, and for the first two months of second.

- [ ] that's when you met luna, neville and ginny. you guys were thick as thieves, and for the first time for two years, you were actually happy.

- [ ] of course, your childhood friends were still mean to you, nothing had really changed on that part. but you were... happier, and that hurt them. because you happier without them, and that wasn't how it was supposed to be.

- [ ] they supposed they should be glad that you were doing better. last year, they were going mad out of worry for you. apparently you had stayed at hogwarts for christmas out of request from your parents, and it was christmas day when the adults told the rest of them to stop associating with you.

- [ ] it remained fairly passive over the next few years, you remained close with luna, neville and ginny, and had even befriended the golden trio and the twins!

- [ ] the serpent squad didn't like that too much, but they supposed your current friends were better than no friends, and as long as you were happy, they were happy

- [ ] but they still continue their kind-of bullying. they weren't as cruel to you as they were to others, but words still hurt and boy do they have a snake's tongue on them.

- [ ] blaise could hardly stand being away from you but his mother had made him swear that he would not associate with you, the blood traitor.

- [ ] all he wanted to do was hold you, but he rather bullied you instead.

- [ ] it was the beginning of sixth year when draco and pansy had gone too far. the other four were just watching blankly, trying not to let their discomfort show as the two reprimanded you, mocked you, and insulted you in the middle of the great hall. calling you a blood traitor, a stain of your family name and house name, and even going as far as saying "no wonder your parents don't want you, just look at you!" while the all the slytherins around them laughed. or at least, pretended to.

- [ ] you had looked at them for a long time, teary eyed and red faced, just trying to understand what you did to deserve this. until you nodded your head, said "okay," and walked out of the great hall.

- [ ] they heard your friends call your name, your closest ones even running after you.

- [ ] theo and blaise looked like they were about to beat draco to death, astoria and daphne were just disappointed in pansy, they knew how much she missed you, and yet she ruined any chance of you forgiving them.

- [ ] blaise eventually decided against killing the blonde and ran after you, the rest following suit after a moment.

- [ ] it didn't take them long to find you, sobbing against a wall with your head in your hands, ginny, nev and luna all crowded around you. rubbing your back and whispering reassurances in your ear.

- [ ] "i don't know what i did to deserve that," you cried, sniffling as you wiped your nose on your sleeve and looked and ginny.

- [ ] "oh love, you didn't do anything," the ginger said, wrapping her arms around you.

- [ ] "don't listen to them, y/n! they're just prats!" assured nev, leaning against the wall awkwardly, with one hand on your back.

- [ ] luna played with your hair, "yeah, y/n, they don't deserve your love and kindness."

- [ ] "thank you guys. i mean it. without you three i don't know where i would be." you laughed, but no part of it was humorous.

- [ ] draco, being the blonde he was, decided it was a good time to intervene, "hopefully alive, haha."

- [ ] the six of them had come out from around the corner, feeling ashamed and wanting to hit themselves for making you cry.

- [ ] "what do you lot wanf? haven't you done enough?" asked ginny, placing herself in front of you.

- [ ] "yes but.."

- [ ] "no, you don't get to talk. now piss off before you do even more damage."

- [ ] "we just want to apologize," said blaise.

- [ ] you scoffed, "a bit late for that."

- [ ] pansy looked down, "we're really sorry, y/n, for what just happened and for everything the past six years. you know how our families are and they told us to stop talking to you... so we did."

- [ ] all feelings of sadness were gone now, pansy's words has ignited a flame within you, one you've been holding in for years.

- [ ] "stop talking to me? so that gave you permission to be bloody awful to me? merlin's beard, you six were worse than umbridge on her bad days! you could have just... i don't know, explained what happened in first year? and apologized for abandoning me? and maybe we could still be friends! but no, you lot ruined any chance of that ever happening again. so thank you for that." you paused to take a breath. your audience was wide eyed and shocked, not quite believing you had such anger in you... but oh man, you weren't done yet.

- [ ] "and let me just say, blaise, your insults hurt the most. merlin, i thought the world of you. i thought you were my everything. but that all just went away the moment you thought not associating with me, meant making my life a living hell."

- [ ] you were, once again, crying. you took a deep breath and sadness took over you once again, you mumbled an "excuse me" and took off down the corrider.

- [ ] the serpent squad was stunned. they hadn't realised what they did effected you that much. blaise was upset with himself, disappointed, even. he felt the same about you, even if you both were too young for it to be love, and now he knew he never get it pack.

- [ ] theo cleared his throat and tried looking anywhere but at the trio in front of them, who were looking at the six with anger and disappointment.

- [ ] "you guys couldn't even begin to understand what she's been through," neville said after moments of awkward silence. "not long after the sorting ceremory, her parents sent her a letter, practically disowning her. before that, you guys abandoned her. she was alone for nearly a year and a half before we met her. and by merlin she was a wreck."

- [ ] ginny and luna chuckled, not out of humor, but out of irony. this situation was similar to the situation you were in when you met them.

- [ ] neville ignored them, and the curious stares the six were giving him, and continued, this time fueled by anger.

- [ ] "we were the ones who picked up the pieces. we were the ones who made sure she didn't die after losing everything she had ever known. we were the ones who made her smile again, happy again. we picked up the pieces because you weren't there, and you were exactly what had caused it in the first place." neville spit out the last sentence as if it were venom, hoping to hurt them as much as they hurt you.

- [ ] they were all on the verge of tears, daphne and astoria were holding each other and looked to be in the most pain, because they missed you the most.

- [ ] "i hope you lot are happy with yourselves, you're about five years to late to the pity party."

[duskholland]

letting my inner whore out and thinking about mob!tom or even regular Tom accidentally flaking on plans with you and coming home really late, so he’s just gonna jump into bed with you and finds you in bed asleep in lingerie. 🥴🙂 and he just mentally curses himself bc now he knows that he flaked on a great night and you slept in this on purpose so he KNOWS. and having him grovel for your forgiveness OOOOOOF 🙂😌😗 make him pay for it !!!

you didn’t ask for a blurb but this inspired me so i wrote something !! i changed the circumstances of this just a lil bit but the mistake/grovel concept is all still here too :’) can be read either with mob or normal tom!

wc: 2.3k || 18+ nsfw content minors dni!!!

warnings ↠ fingering, oral (f receiving) and overstimulation :’)

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

Tom hadn’t thought about the repercussions of his actions, but as he walks into your bedroom and finds you sprawled out across the mattress, half-naked and sleeping, he finds himself regretting his decisions. He curses--softly, so he doesn’t disturb you, but with enough bite to make it count. His fingers curl into frustrated fists at his sides as he leans back against the doorway, eyes skimming over you.

He hadn’t intentionally bailed on date night, but something had come up. He’d texted you, grovelled profusely, tacked on a series of those heart emojis you’re so fond of as he’d sprinkled his messages with Xs, promising it wouldn’t happen again, promising he’d be there next time. You’re lovely--you’re always lovely, even when Tom fucks up--but even he’d been able to tell that you’d been annoyed. This is the second date in a row that he’s cancelled, and it’s clear you’re pissed.

You’re wearing lingerie. With your sleepy lips puckered into an unassuming pout, you look almost angelic, sprawled out, asleep. But Tom knows exactly what you’re like, knows that you’d fallen asleep, wrapped up in tight red lace like this just to rub it in. He chuckles slightly as he finds himself nodding. He has to give it to you--you always know how to get to him, and you always succeed.

Pushing away from the door, Tom stifles a yawn. If you weren’t sleeping so deeply, he’d wake you up and start his grovelling right away, but he knows better than to pounce. He doesn’t want to disturb your beauty sleep when he’s already treading on thin ice.

As Tom walks through to the ensuite and strips off his clothes, he keeps the door open, both of his eyes fixed on you, admiring you, tracing you, loving you. Fuck, his heart swells as you murmur something in your sleep and turn over, frowning as you try to get comfortable. Tom’s never going to cancel on you again.

After turning off all the lights and padding over to bed, only in his boxers, Tom very carefully starts trying to move you. You’re asleep on top of the duvet, which is slightly problematic, but he’s strong, and gentle, and he manages to coax you into resting on the mattress instead. When you don’t make any obvious movements, he thinks you’re still asleep, so climbs in after you and rolls over, wrapping his arms around you and spooning you as he nestles his face into the back of your neck.

You’re so soft. You smell of peaches, and as Tom gently rolls his hand over the rise of your exposed hip, he marvels at how warm your skin is. He rolls his fingers over your side, nuzzling closer, trying to pull you as close as possible. As he starts to press gentle kisses to your shoulder, he wonders if your sleeping form can feel how fucking sorry he is, can tell in the soft nuzzles of his mouth how apologetic and guilty he feels now.

“Y’know, I am awake,” you mutter, voice tired. “You’re not good at being quiet.”

Tom pauses his movements. He wonders if you can feel him wince. Your tone is terse.

“I’m sorry,” he says immediately, voice quiet. He kisses your shoulder again and, knowing you’re awake, smooths his hand down to rest over your lower abdomen. His fingertips play with the trim of your lacy panties, fiddling as he hums. “I’m a dick for cancelling, darling. I am very sorry.”

You make a tsking sound. “Are you actually sorry, or are you just trying to get back in my good books?”

Tom hums. “Both,” he admits. He kisses your cheek before sitting up on his side, digging his elbow into the pillows. You roll onto your back, darkened eyes meeting his as you stare at him, the ghost of a smile building on your lips.

Tom brings his hand up and tentatively cups your chin between his thumb and index finger, using the touch to angle your face towards him. When you hum in approval, Tom leans down, kissing you gently. He hopes that you can feel how apologetic he is through his mouth, and he feels his heart lighten when you reach up to run a hand over the side of his face before twisting it into his hair. As your lips become warm and slick with spit, Tom hums, trying to move closer only for you to stop him by pulling away and pressing the tips of your fingers to his lips.

“Oh?” you tease. “You think it’s going to be that easy?” There’s a mischievous glint in your eyes, and Tom watches as you sit up straight. The duvet falls down to pool at your waist, exposing your sheer bralette. Tom swallows as he sees your nipples, hard and straining against the flimsy material.

“No?” Tom replies.

You laugh. You reach out and touch his cheek, angling his face until Tom’s eyes are back on yours. “You need to make it up to me,” you say. For the first time, hurt seeps into your eyes. Tom’s guilt reappears, overpowering all of the lust that had emerged as he’d seen you wrapped up in lace.

“I’m really sorry,” he says again, and Tom means it. He moves, smiling slightly as he slides on top of you, pushing you back down onto the mattress as he cages you in with an arm on either side of your face. He nuzzles the tip of his nose against yours. “I love you, baby, and I’m sorry for letting you down. It won’t happen again.” He kisses you gently. “I know I said that last time,” he adds, whispering softly, “but I promise. Nothing is more important than you. Nothing.”

You comb your fingers through his hair. “Yeah?”

“Of course,” he says, and it’s true. You’re everything. “Can I make it up to you now?” he murmurs. Tom draws his lips over your face, kissing in a line until he’s whispering into your ear, voice growing raspy. “Let me make you feel good.”

You hum, drawing it out as you pretend to think about it. Tom moans as you tug on his hair, your hands then skimming away to careen down the muscles of his back. You tease him, pressing your fingers into his shoulders as you slowly grind up to press your centre against Tom’s crotch. He grunts, face falling into the crook of your neck as he feels himself harden again.

“Are you alright down there?” you tease, hand drifting down to rest over his ass. Tom moans as you pull him closer, keeping his crotch against yours as you encourage him to grind against your heat.

He releases a noise of strangled enjoyment. It takes all of his self-control to pull away, kissing your chin when you raise a brow. “This is about you,” he decides. “Not me.”

You swallow. “Okay,” you agree, catching your lower lip between your teeth. “I had some fun without you,” you add, smirking when Tom raises a brow. “Can you blame me?”

He shakes his head. “‘Course not,” he says. “Love you,” he adds, then he gets to work.

Tom presses kisses to every part of your body as he gently moves down your figure, resting at your chest to lap over each one of your nipples with his tongue. As the lace of your bra gets soaked with spit, Tom picks up his pace, drawn to your low moans. When he’s not rolling his tongue around your nipples, he’s cupping your breasts in his palms and massaging your chest with his fingers, alternating between light teasing touches and more substantial grabs that make you release the prettiest groans.

By the time Tom reaches your centre, he isn’t surprised to see you quivering. He doesn’t pause to take off your lingerie, knows better than to strip you of something that you’d put on so deliberately. He enjoys watching the confidence that it gives you.

“Oh, baby…” Tom murmurs, rolling his index and middle fingers over the front of your panties. They’re soaked, and as he presses up against your covered clit, he feels your centre pulse. The whimper you release is soft and broken, and Tom is quick to settle between your legs. He parts your thighs before kissing your mound, his nose nuzzling up against the wet warmth of your front. He tenses the tip of his tongue before dragging it over your covered folds, the slickness of your panties making it easy for him to delineate the rise of your bud.

“Shit,” you whine. You bury your hands in his hair and jerk him closer, pulling Tom’s face further into your heat. “Fuck, Tom. Don’t tease me— fuck. You’re supposed to be making it up to me.”

Tom moans in agreement. He manages to wriggle away just enough so he’s able to pull your panties to the side, and after taking a moment to run both thumbs down the side of your folds, he gently coaxes them apart, exposing your cunt. He curses, looking between your centre and your eyes with lust.

“You’re so fucked already,” he murmurs. He slips his fingers down to play around with your entrance, his digits getting coated in your slick. You whimper and thrust your hips until he crooks the two fingers into you, your walls giving way and enveloping him immediately. “Have you already cum tonight?”

Briefly, guilt flickers across your face. It fades as Tom leans down and sucks your clit into his mouth, soothing the bud with his tongue as his fingers start to pump into you. “Y-yeah,” you whimper, and suddenly it makes sense why you’re being so responsive.

“I can tell. Pussy’s so hot, baby, so wet… Practically gushing out over my hand, gorgeous.” Tom pulls away, shifting a thumb onto your bud as he looks down at where his fingers are opening you up. He adds a third easily, desire running hot through his body as you cry out loudly. “How many times did you cum?”

Your breathing is heavy, laborious. “Twice,” you admit. Your fingers fist the sheets, eyes fluttering shut as you arch your back and moan. “Shit, Tom… please.”

“Please?” He’s enjoying this, loves the way you squirm as he curls his fingers up and presses against your g-spot. You’re so beautiful. “Please what, lovie?”

“Make me cum,” you whine. You open your eyes again, wide and pleading. “Please, please—”

“C’mon,” he murmurs. “There you go, baby.” Tom thrusts his fingers faster, with more urgency, and speeds up the movement of his thumb on your clit. “Cum for me, darling. Let me warm you up… Let you feel really good. Always so pretty when you cum for me… so, so pretty, baby. Come on.”

You fall apart a few moments later, walls contracting around his fingers. Tom watches in awe as you cry out loudly, eyes rolling back as your chest rises and falls. He doesn’t stop, though, not even when your walls stop pulsing and your climax ends. Instead, he drops his head and puts his mouth back on your bud.

“T-Tom,” you cry out. You’re squirming again, properly now, but he knows you’d tap out if it was too much. Both of you know that you enjoy the blurring of the pain and pleasure as he overstimulates you like this. “Holy fuck… ‘m so sensitive.”

Tom’s hand is properly wet now. He can feel your arousal dripping between his fingers. You’re so slick his movements are imprecise, and so he counters that by thrusting his fingers harder, blundering up against the spongy rise of your walls until you’re crying out. As he brings you close again, he moves his mouth over your cunt, sloppily making out with your clit and your folds. Occasionally he’ll tease your rise with the bumps of his teeth, and he likes the way your moans change from shrill to intense when he runs the flat of his tongue over your bud again.

“Tommy,” you wail. You sound wrecked, and when Tom glances up, he sees you, eyes full of blurring tears, skin covered in a sheen of sweat. You gasp as he curls his fingers perfectly, and Tom watches you bury your face in your arm as you orgasm with a yell. This time, he has to move up, pressing his elbow into your thigh to keep you down as the pleasure consumes you. Your hot cunt squeezes his fingers tightly, an iron-like grip that almost immobilises his hand. Luckily, Tom’s used to you, knows how to continue to please you until you’re fucked out and crying.

Your peak stretches for a while, the air alight with the sounds of your whimpering enjoyment. Tom laps over your clit until you’re crying out and tugging at his hair, at which point he moves away from you. He smirks as he sees a trail of saliva connecting you to him, then sees the way your thighs tremble.

“How was that, darling?” Tom checks, letting his fingers slip from you. You whimper and he pulls up to you, gently kissing your cheek as his eyes skim you for any signs of damage. All he finds is bliss, then your lips on his as you peck him quickly.

“Fantastic,” you announce. You sigh as you fall back against the mattress, smiling lazily. “Fuck, I love you.”

Tom wipes his lips before kissing your nose. “Love you too,” he murmurs. “Did I make it up to you?”

You nod immediately. “Yeah. You did more than just that.” You reach down to touch his crotch, and Tom jumps. He’d been so preoccupied with you that he’d forgotten about his length, hard and straining against his boxers. You run your thumb over the patch of material, soaked with his precum. “Let me say thank you,” you say, speaking quietly but teasingly. Your tone makes Tom bite his lips. “Let me make it up to you…”

[schneesisterss]

I have Cassandra Dimitrescu brain rot and it literally Won’t Leave Me Alone so here are some headcannons:

she’s mean as FUCK bc she doesn’t know how to deal with her emotions in a healthy way

very mean to her sisters too but like... (affectionate)

also she’s the only one that can bully them, if anyone other than herself even LOOKS at them funny, that person will definitely go missing

“nobody bullies my siblings, except for me”

has Protective Older Sister vibes even though she’s not the oldest and is extremely protective of her family

particularly when it comes to Daniela. Cassandra has like a sixth sense where she can tell whenever her younger sister is in danger and goes RUNNIN to check on her.

Cassandra, weapon drawn: “DANI WHATS WRONG ARE YOU OK??”

Daniela, swinging from the ceiling by her foot: “Oh, hello sister. It seems I have stepped on my own trap.”

Cass, exhausted, pinching the bridge of her nose: “Daniela. What the fuck.”

Cassandra gets her down and smacks her on the back of the head (but not before subtly checking her for injuries)

she has a very hard time opening up to people bc she feels weak when she does and she HATES feeling weak

the only person she has ever cried in front of is their mother

and speaking of Alcina, Cassandra definitely gets her protectiveness from her mother. those two turn into a pair of rage monsters whenever someone they care about gets hurt.

one time Bela got severely injured by a lycan and Cassandra was like: “Those stupid mutts, i’ll kill them all, I swear!” and moves to leave but her mother stops her, “Hold on daughter, it’s quite rude of you not to extend the invitation.” and they both leave, eyes completely black with rage and murder. Daniela stays with Bela but waves them off happily in the background. “See you soon! Bring me back a lycan heart!”

does not know how to deal with her anger and sometimes has to punch the brick walls in the basement just to release some of the energy

her knuckles are almost always cut up and bruised bc of this

Alcina has walked in on more than one of her outbursts. She takes her daughters arms so she stops punching the walls, and pulls her into her chest. Cassandras breathing is erratic and she’s shaking violently with rage.

“Shhh my love, breathe.” Cassandra exhales in a way that Alcina can’t tell if she’s crying or seething. “What’s happened?”

Cassandras breathing speeds up through gritted teeth and she pulls against her mother, as if trying to get back to the wall. “I d-didn’t know what else to do.” her voice is hard like she was stating a fact.

Alcina strokes her pinky finger down her daughters nose, a trick that’s always worked for keeping her angriest at child at bay, and holds her there until she’s calmed down.

Afterwards, they don’t talk about it. Alcina knows Cassandra is already too embarrassed so she only wraps up her knuckles and says, “I think I heard Daniela call out for you a little bit ago, she had that tone of voice she gets whenever she’s in over her head.”

Cassandra just scoffs, “She’s just an idiot.” but moves immediately so go check on her younger sibling. She stops just before she’s out the door, “Mother I....” Alcina sees the hidden gratitude in her daughters eyes. “I know, dear. Go.” And her middle child nods and bursts into a cloud of bugs.

so.... there’s that.

I may be projecting but who knows.

ANYWAY

can throw a Wicked punch

very competitive and a sore loser

her competitiveness comes out the most when Bela is involved

Cassandra thinks Bela is their mothers favorite and that creates a lot of tension between the two of them bc Cassandra low key looks up to Bela (but will never tell her that) and wants to please mother just like she does. She feels the anger under her skin whenever their mother praises Bela instead of her

(Cassandra craves praise just as much as Bela but will NEVER show how the lack of it effects her)

Mean Lesbian™️

so, so touch starved

when anyone outside of her mother or sisters touch her softly she snaps bc a) she’s not used to it and b) she get filled with complicated and confusing emotions that she doesn’t know what to do with

quickest to yell at a maiden whenever they mess up

when she’s in a good mood she can actually be very playful and teasing (“rawr! >:D”)

hums to herself when she’s bored and sometimes (rarely) sings when Bela is playing the piano

the best at makeup out of the three daughters

Daniela always begs her to do her make up for her and Cassandra just pretends to be annoyed and does it anyway (she secretly loves it)

Bela also tentatively asked one time and Cassandra was shocked because Bela never asks for favors

they sit in silence while she applies Belas makeup but eventually asks “Why ask me to do this now? There had been plenty of other opportunities before.” her voice comes out more defensive than she wanted it too, but she leaves it be.

Bela studies her with calculating and knowing eyes before looking away and opening her mouth “You love doing this. I can tell.” Cass stops moving her hand. “I see the proud look on your face when Dani runs to show Mother your work. I just...” Bela shrugs, “want to be a part of that too. For you.” She glances back to her dark haired sister and shifts in her seat.

Cassandra didn’t know how to react, let alone respond. The lump in her throat was wide and pushed against her windpipe. Her and Bela had never really gotten along, but hearing this from her older sister felt like a small weight was lifted from her shoulders. It felt like acceptance. She cleared her throat and gently grabbed her sisters chin to pull it back into place. “Well maybe if you stopped squirming, i’d be able to get it done faster.”

Bela shoots her a very small, understanding smile, it was more of a smirk really, but it got the point across. I love you. No matter what. and Cassandra felt like she could finally breathe.

(I love sibling dynamics leave me alone)

claims she’s a top, is actually a switch

impatient as hell

Smooth Talker

her ability to talk her and her sisters out of sketchy situations has saved their asses more than once

“Hey Cassandra, would you punch Uncle Heisenberg in the face for $100?”

“I’d roundhouse kick him in the face for free.”

cue Alcina spitting up her wine.

probably swears the most too lol

*stubs toe* “Son of a mother fucking bitch that shit HURT.” Alcina: *raises eyebrow* “Well I certainly didn’t teach her that vile language.... Heisenberg.” Heisenberg: ......

knows how to wield a butterfly knife like a complete badass

Alcina: “CASSSANDRRAAA”

Cassandra: *instant fear*

uhhhh that’s it. did I go overboard? probaby. do I care? absolutely not and i’ll most likely be doing this again very soon lmaooo.

also p.s. send me more headcannon requests for Cassandra and i’ll answer them!

[1kook]

skirt chasers - drabble iii

this a skirt chasers drabble in case u couldn't tell uhhh here’s i and ii lol

summary; “I think the alcohol broke my amygdala. Your epidermis looks pretty today— did you use that toner I told you about?” warnings; alcohol mention, tit sucking, unprotected sex, use of the pull out method, uhh making out??? ratings; mature (18+) misc; educational abolitionist!jungkook, drunk jk, mentions of throwing up lol, jk is an anatomy frEAK, more skirts, more jk has questionable kinks wc; like barely 2k

notes; i wrote this in like 40 mins bc i couldn't stop thinking about STIMBO jk from skirt chasers and how cool he is enjoy xxxx also i barely rmr shit from anatomy bc it was the worst course of my life so pls bear with me

His first mistake is getting drinks with the boys. You like to think you know your boyfriend pretty well, know what he’s good at, where he excels, where he thrives, and well. Drinking doesn’t rank too high on the list.

Jimin calls a little past midnight. “Kook’s on the table,” he slurs into the phone, too loud and too sloppy for a Wednesday night phonecall.

“Ha?” you mumble back, rubbing your eyes until you see stars. The room is dark, practically spinning from how out of it you are. Chaeyoung is dead asleep in her room, so even whispering feels like a crime. “Where are you guys?”

Some bar on the south side of town, that strip where all the newly turned twenty-one year olds go to get wasted. Jungkook’s supposed to be studying for some big exam he has on Friday— at least, that’s what he told you —so it takes a few minutes of convincing on Jimin’s part until you’re shrugging your coat on, blindly navigating through your apartment for your keys and wallet. You briefly consider taking an Uber, but ultimately decide you’d rather get stabbed to death on a public bus so at least your family can sue the city afterwards.

Jungkook is indeed on the table, except the table has long since tipped over. So now he’s just sprawled across some dirty bar floor, puppy-soft head of curls spilling over his forehead. He’s so cute, so adorable. You want to kill him. “Up,” you command, channeling the strength of twelve football players to haul your beefy boyfriend off the ground.

“Baby,” he beams, looking at you but not actually looking at you. “I think the alcohol broke my amygdala. Your epidermis looks pretty today— did you use that toner I told you about?”

You don’t even know what that means, can’t even question him, because then Jin is angrily yelling at you to cover his tab. You pay with a stiff middle finger, flail the three dollars in your wallet at him, before sweeping away your poor damsel in distress. “You’re supposed to be studying,” you huff, can’t even be mad when he stops to throw up in a bush outside the bar. You’re so embarrassed, pretend you don’t know him as you pull up the bus times on your phone.

He’s huffy by the time you get on the bus, sniffling against your neck as he cries about his common hepatic portal vein thing— you don’t fucking know.

Chaeyoung isn’t too impressed with you when you bring him home, dump him on the couch while she steals your AirPods from your room. “Explain yourself,” you demand, and his head rolls back.

“I hate school,” he complains, slaps a hand down against his forehead. You’re certain he’s concussed himself this time. Then he’s bending over, head held between his hands. “Wanna cry.”

You sigh, kneeling in front of him. “You’re almost done,” you comfort him, hand on the back of his head. He’s so sweaty, and smells like all his friends colognes at the same time. “You’re smart, baby, you can do this.”

Your words have the opposite effect, because then he’s rocking forward childishly, nearly rams your skulls together and kills you. He’s reached the point of his insobriety where he’s too sad and huffy to think, sadly leaning against your shoulder as if that’ll somehow solve all his problems. You doubt it will, but there’s really nothing much you can when Jungkook reaches this point, so you settle on softly patting the back of his head until the fool is fucking snoring against you.

Chaeyoung blesses you with her divine retribution the next morning by using up the last of your body wash, and then you’re left to deal with a hungover Jungkook on a Thursday morning. You’re pretty sure he had a class that morning, but he wakes up too late for you to even try to convince him to still go, and then he’s moping on your couch in last night’s clothes. You’re getting ready for your internship, blouse half buttoned, pencil skirt wiggled up to your waist.

“Abolish exams,” he mutters, numbly staring at the ceiling as you wipe his face with a cleansing towelette. He doesn’t seem remotely interested in the shower or the pancakes you made, which lets you know this is a much more serious issue than just a drunken episode. “Aren’t they stupid?” You nod. “Sure, test me on every damn thing we’re learning right now as if science isn’t always changing and I’ll have to keep learning anyway.”

He looks over at you, under-eye bags absolutely horrendous. “Tests are stupid,” you agree, and it seems to be exactly what he wants to hear as he sinks into your arms, face buried in your chest. “Too stupid for smarty-pants Jeon Jungkook.”

Jungkook groans, flops over you on the couch all smelly and gross. “They test you for memorization and not comprehension,” he adds, finally wiggling out of his stinky clothes.

With Jungkook, you can never tell where things are going. One minute he’s cursing the education system and the next he’s kissing along your neck in his rambling fury. “As if I these materials will somehow become nonexistent once I’m working,” he huffs, hands on your thighs. Your breath hitches in your throat, fingers digging into his biceps as he mindlessly kisses down the valley between your breasts. “Shit’s so fucking stupid,” he spits, bunching your skirt around your waist.

“Jeon—“

“I’m just trying to be a fuckin’ pediatrician, for fuck’s sake,” he growls, hastily undoes the front buttons on your blouse. Your black bra comes into view, heart pounding in your chest as Jungkook makes quick work of reaching behind and undoing it, pushing it away, and cupping your breasts in his palms. He guides one of your legs around his waist, tucks it around him as he gets to work raining down kisses on your tits. “So pretty, doll,” he murmurs, pretty pink lips leaving smooches down your chest.

You bite down on your lip, watch through hazy eyes as those big doe eyes flick up at you, tongue swirling around your nipple. “N— Not tired anymore?” you pant, hands in his hair. It’s still dry and knotted from last night’s adventures, but you don’t mind. Not when Jungkook’s hard cock is flush against your thigh.

“Nah,” he confirms, rolling his hips forward against your core. Oh he was horny horny this morning. Or was he angry horny? You don’t care, either way you were winning. “I serenaded you last night, y’know?”

You snort, but it morphs into a whimper when he captures your rock hard nipple between his perfect teeth. “Not a serenade,” you whimper, fingernails running along his scalp, “if I’m not there.”

Jungkook leans back, lets you breathe for a second as he unbuckles the front of his pants, jeans pulled down around his thighs. And of course he’s hard as fuck by now; this was Jeon Jungkook you were dealing with. He could get it up and going in two seconds flat at the mere sight of your collarbones. “You were there,” he insists, capturing your hand in his all romantic like until you’re flustered and shaking him off. He levels you with a cheesy grin, presses your palm against his chest. “Here.”

You gag. “That’s disgusting.”

Jungkook laughs, all squeaky and airy because he’s never given a fuck about looking cool in front of you. His next words only prove your point. “Why? Don’t like being nestled against my left lung and esophagus, all sexy like?”

You roll your eyes, tug your panties aside to give him a full view of what his dorky anatomical talk has done to you. “Dick me down or go away,” you say, pointer finger nudging his chin up when he stares too long

He snaps his teeth at you, almost bites your finger, the fuckin’ weirdo. “Sassy today,” he teases, presses the tip of his cock against you. Both of you groan, watch as he glides himself up and down your folds, angry mushroom head pushing against your clit. “Always so wet for me,” he mumbles shakily, eyes zeroed in on your wet folds and how slick they feel against him. “Didn’t stretch you out again.���

“Yo— You’re mean about that anyway,” you pant, pulling him closer by those firm ass cheeks of his. “I can tell when you’re using me as a reference model.”

Jungkook gasps as if he’s genuinely scandalized by your claim, follows your wordless command and finally lines himself up with your quivering entrance. “I’m a hands-on learner,” he offers, his cheeky smile still on his face until he finally sinks into you and his features twist up all pretty. “Your pussy’s just so pretty, baby,” he grunts, hand on your hip.

Your face feels warm, from the pleasure that rolls over your body and the vulgarity of his words. “Shush now,” you say, try to sound strict and in command, but he’s got his other hand cupping your jaw, looking at you like you’re a goddess and not some dorky college student in their even dorkier internship uniform.

“Temptress,” he mumbles, pushes past your clenching lips until he’s flush against you, your walls spasming around his cock because he just feels so good. “Tried to sneak past me in that tiny skirt.” He draws back, lets his swollen head catch at the entrance before sliding back in, pace slow and sensual, too intimate for some random Thursday morning. “Little doll just needs to be fucked in the morning, doesn’t she?” A pitiful whimper catches in your throat, eyes rolling to the back of your head with every glide of his dick back inside of you.

“N- Not my fault you have naughty eyes,” you whimper, hand coming up to bite at your knuckles as Jungkook continues to fuck you so sweetly. “Fuck.”

Jungkook ducks over you, wavy hair tickling your forehead as his hot breath fans across you. Smells like the mouthwash you made him take and hints of last night’s alcohol. “Can’t help it,” he husks, capturing your lips in his. Sloppy and wet, tongue clashing with yours as he guides you along, hips slowing to rhythmic ruts that have you moaning after each roll.

A few drawn-out thrusts later and you’re coming, body so sensitive this early in the morning, and it certainly doesn’t help that Jungkook looks like that (sweaty and worn, dark eyes watching you writhe beneath him). Surprisingly, it takes him a few more rushed thrusts before he follows, barely managing to pull out in time before his sparkling cum is splattering over your tummy and the skirt bunched around it. “No,” you whine, melting into the couch. “Jeon, this is my only one,” you complain, rubbing a hand over your eyes as if that’ll somehow make your legs work again enough to push him off.

Jungkook says nothing as he tucks himself back into his boxers, chest heaving from exertion as he crashes back onto the couch. “Liar,” he responds after a moment, out of breath and half asleep again. He’s still technically hungover. Hand lazily drawing circles on your knee as you sit up, wiggling your skirt back down. He gives you this indecipherable look. “I hid the other one under your dresser.”

You smack his arm. “Why the hell would you—“

He tackles you back into the couch, presses the stain into your skirt. It must feel gross against his naked tummy, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to care. “Makes me too horny,” he announces, pout pressed against your neck. “I had a teacher fantasy the other day. Did I tell you?” You roll your eyes, resigning yourself to this new life squashed beneath your boyfriend. “You were my high school anatomy teacher and I failed, so you made me stay after school for supplemental lessons—“

“That’s an abuse of power,” you point out, back to carding your hands through his now sweaty and greasy hair. “And you would never fail an anatomy class, that’s literally your comfort area of study.”

“Listen,” he stresses, lifts his head until he’s peering at you with these humongous Bambi eyes. “You spanked me and—“

“Go get my skirt.”

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[jinkicake]

Fuck No Baby~

Kenma/Sakusa/Tsukishima with a high school pregnancy scare.

Kozume Kenma x Reader

Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader

Tsukishima Kei x Reader

For Anon,,, I hope you like it!!! Ah~~ This took me so long to write, I don’t even know why LOL. I had fun writing it doe,,,, hopefully I was able to correct any mistakes I made because rereading almost three thousand words over and over again melted my brain ESP bc it was my own words,,, 

WC- 2,765

~~~

Kozume Kenma

Now….. Kenma,,,,, my sweet baby boy. He would know something is wrong with you the minute you start acting differently

He wouldn’t say anything though, not yet, he would just watch you with hawk eyes

He’d analyze everything you do and try to figure out what is upsetting you

Is it school? Your parents? Lev? Himself? What is wrong?

He’d probably ask Kuroo if he noticed anything different about you and, of course, Kuroo who can’t lie would be like “n-no”

When you finally tell Kenma that you think you’re pregnant, Kenma would be like "well how do you know?"

He’d be like “Did you take a test? Did you not get your period? Is it because you were stressed that you didn’t get your period?” And you’d be like ‘uhhhh I didn’t think about all that sir’

Cue Kenma scolding you for being so worrisome, he’d still hold your hand and try to calm you down and go get pregnancy test with you

He’d probably research a lot about pregnancy just to mentally prepare but then you come out with three negative tests and Kuroo is in the background like ‘I KNEW IT’

Then Kenma will get all mad again and ignore the two of you for leaving him out of the loop

Kenma stares at you from behind his psp, his chest tightens at the way you are holding onto Kuroo. Recently, you have been hanging out with your best friend more than your own boyfriend. Kenma normally would not care, he likes that you two hang out and leave him alone but lately it has been irritating him in a way he doesn’t quite understand. It is all the time, you always are with Kuroo instead of him. It’s almost like you two have gotten closer in a way and the insecurities of not being good enough cloud over Kenma’s head. He always knew you and Kuroo got along in ways that he wouldn’t understand, he has seen it growing up with the two of you. He never thought he would have to worry about it though.

“You need to tell him (Y/N).” Kuroo scolds and Kenma feels his ears perk up as he tries to listen in. 


“I’m not telling him,” You stubbornly stick your nose up into the air and Kuroo folds his arms over his chest disapprovingly. 

“If you don’t then I will.” Kuroo threatens and you can hide the betrayal off of your face. “He deserves to know.”


“What the fuck?! What about bro code?” You fumble your words as your heart beats frantically in your chest. 

“(Y/N) this isn’t some little thing you can sweep under the rug, you need to tell him.” Kuroo tells you and you stare at the ground. 

“Fuck off Kuroo, I’m not ready to tell him shit and now I’m not going to tell you anything either.” You frown in frustration and storm off to the gym. Kenma pretends like he didn’t hear any of the conversation but when Kuroo steps in front of him with that knowing sigh, Kenma doesn’t even try to pretend. 

“I don’t know how you put up with her.” Kuroo comments and sits down next to him, Kenma only narrows his eyes at the way he insulted you. Kuroo takes in a deep breath and quietly thinks for a moment. “Fuck, I have to tell you-“


“I don’t want to know.” Kenma tells him and Kuroo spits out in shock. “If she doesn’t want to tell me then I don’t want to know it.”


“Kenma you need to know.” Kuroo starts and Kenma stands up from the ground, wiping his thighs off before glancing down at his friend.

“Then I’ll go ask her.” Kenma walks away and Kuroo holds his hands up defensively, wishing him good luck. Kenma finds you laying against the bleachers, dramatically drawing shapes in the sky with your finger. 

“(Y/N).” Kenma calls out to you and you flinch before closing your eyes. 


“Yes, my love?” You ask innocently and Kenma has to refrain from rolling his eyes. 

“You have something to tell me.” He demands and you open your mouth to deny it however as you do so, the eery familiar sick feeling twitches in your gut and you hold up a finger to silence your boyfriend. “(Y/N),”

“I don’t want you to be disappointed in me.” You start, your throat starts to close up, and Kenma rests his hand over yours. 


“You’ll never disappoint me, you know that.” Kenma reassures you and you bite the inside of your cheek. 

“What if, I was pregnant?” You ask and Kenma flinches at your words. 

“You’re pregnant?” He repeats and you shake your head. 


“I might be, I mean I think I am.” At your words, Kenma pinches your nose and makes it harder for you to breathe. “Your first thought is to kill me?!” You screech.

“Did you even take a pregnancy test or think for a second that maybe your period is just late? Did you even recall that you went on a long plane ride to another country last week and maybe that offset your balance? God, (Y/N) you went to Kuroo with this and not me?” Kenma rants and you guiltily curl in on yourself, you didn’t think about any of that. “I-I’m sorry for getting so upset.” He quickly apologizes and you shake your head. 

“You’re right Kenma, and I’m sorry that I didn’t come to you but I was scared.” You whisper and tears begin to form, Kenma looks at the ground with hurt all over his face. 

“Why?” He asks just as quietly and you shrug. 

“I didn’t want to lose you.”


“You wouldn’t have, you’d never lose me no matter what you do.” Kenma confesses and you grab onto his hand for support, Kenma squeezes you and turns to look at you. His face softens are your watery eyes. “Stop crying.”

The next time you, Kenma, and Kuroo are hanging out it’s because you’re celebrating not being pregnant. There is cake and ice cream and you own up to apologizing to Kuroo for getting so angry with him when he was only trying to do the right thing. Kuroo, of course, forgives you and wasn’t even mad at you in the first place. He suggests a group hug that you happily take but Kenma stands off to the side, slapping both of you upside the head for keeping such a secret from him before taking his place in your arms.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

How does Sakusa even nut? Like I can’t imagine that he likes the gross feeling of cum all over his dick so like how would he use a condom and/or nut inside of you? I was just thinking about it…….. 

Anyway, whenever you try to hide something from Sakusa he always has a way to pry it out of you 

Like he will knock your door down with his mind to get you to face him

When he finds out you think you’re pregnant, he would just be like ‘well, that’s a lot to take in’

He’d go silent and use his very beautiful head to digest your words,

Now Sakusa is usually calm, but right now he isn’t. This man is freaking the fuck out internally as much as Sakusa can freak out 

Externally he is just like ‘oh’, come on you guys really think Sakusa knows anything about pregnancy 

He’d probably suggests taking you to the doctor or going to get you pregnancy tests

I feel like he would be very good at reassuring you that everything is going to be okay even if he isn’t so sure of that himself 

Please, his main concern is how much he would dislike going to the hospital. He is 99.9% sure that you aren’t pregnant and so he probably isn’t too worried about it, he’s more concerned with how upset you are,,

Sakusa scrunches his nose as he walks into your classroom, it’s late in the afternoon after practice and he found you sitting at your desk. You haven’t even shown that you noticed him walking in, you’re still hunched over your desk with your face buried into your arms. Sakusa quietly walks up to you, his footsteps are the only noises in the large room. 


“(Y/N).” He calls out to you, standing right at the edge of your desk. You don’t make any move. Sakusa sighs and pokes your shoulder with his finger. “(Y/N).” He tries again and gets no response, with a heavy sigh Sakusa pinches the collar of your blazer and lifts your face out of your arms. You don’t even try to hide as you emotionlessly stare at the floor, your boyfriend’s eyes widen at your swollen eyes and blotchy face. 


“What’s wrong?” Sakusa asks, he gently rubs smooth circles on your back. You simply shake your head. “Tell me, don’t be difficult.” He pushes and your eyes begin to water again. 

“Just go home Kiyoomi.” You attempt to push him away and Sakusa just feels his irritation growing.

“You poor thing, thinking that is going to work with me.” He continues to stare down at you and even goes as far as pinching your cheek with his fingers. Sakusa’s eyes narrow at your tears spilling on his fingers and has to refrain from grabbing a tissue and wiping it off. Instead, he uses his thumb to wipe the tears off your cheeks, internally grimacing at the feeling. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, (Y/N).” He warns and you puff your cheeks.

“Where to start,” You bite at him angrily, your nose scrunches in frustration. “I haven’t gotten my period in like two weeks, I failed a test today, my grades are dropping, you’re being an ass, I might be pregnant, my mother yells at me for breathing wrong, what do you want me to say Kiyoomi?” 

Sakusa takes a moment to digest all your words, his face curls in disgust at the mention of your menstrual blood. 

“Wait, pregnant?” He starts cautiously and you nod bitterly. Sakusa takes you by surprise by leaning down and wrapping his arms around your shoulders to bring you into his chest. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you recently and that I have been making things difficult for you.”

Sakusa frowns he notices that even more tears are now streaming down your face. 

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He tries to reassure you but you only shake your head. “Yes, you are. We will figure this out.” Sakusa grabs your cheek to force you to look at him, it’s a promise. 

On your way out to walk home, Sakusa stops by the bathroom to wash his hands and in turn, you also go to the bathroom. You thought you felt that familiar feeling between your thighs but pushed it off as something else. However when you got to the bathroom and saw the disgusting mess in your panties that you had grown accustomed to over the years you can’t help but scream. 

“(Y/N) w-what’s wrong?!” Sakusa barges into the bathroom and you tap your feet against the tile floor. 

“I got it!!!” You exclaim and Sakusa continues to run his head worryingly. 

“Got what?”


“My period!!!” You’re met with silence and footsteps of your boyfriend retreating out of the bathroom. You still have a lot more to figure out about Sakusa Kiyoomi but you know for a fact that he is going to jump you the second you leave the bathroom.

Tsukishima Kei

Tsukishima…… this brat,,,, as oyakags likes to say ‘Tsucki’ love that genius

He would be relatively calm about the entire situation 


I genuinely think he would handle it well and that is because he can’t believe it

He seriously does not believe there is any way you are pregnant like he doesn’t hit it raw every other day

Tsukki would get you pregnancy tests and hide them in his bathroom, force you to take them while he stands there watching you pee on the stick like 0.0

Please, this bitch is not playing

He’d be so worried about how freaked out you are and would probably make fun of you to try and make you feel better

He would use his humor to calm you down, sneak in insults here and there because it would take your mind off of the whole situation 

“Well, maybe if you weren’t ugly this wouldn’t have happened” “UGLY?! TSUKISHIMA KEI YOU DIDN’T THINK I WAS UGLY WHEN YOU WERE HITTING IT FROM THE BACK RAW LAST NIGHT!”

When the tests come back negative, Tsukishima will have to hold back from tackling you. He’d scold you for being so careless and for worrying him so much, throwing pathetic insults around but it's only because he is so relieved and doesn’t know how to react. Just shut him up and bring him into a hug, little baby needs his love HAHAH

“I think we should break up.”


“Huh?” Tsukishima looks up from his textbook, his eyebrows furrowed as he glares at where you sit on his bed. You don’t look at him and instead focus on his dinosaur figurines along the walls. 

“It would be better if we broke up, we are both always so busy anyway, not to mention we are going to different colleges in a few months.” You shrug and try to ignore the way your eyes prick with tears, Tsukishima places his textbook down and turns his chair around to face you. His face is hard, had this been two years ago Tsukishima would have let you go without a second glance. Now though? After all you’ve been through, now you want to break up? Yeah, no.

“We’re going to college in the same city, busu, and last I checked you never wanted to break up.” Tsukishima mocks your voice as he repeats the words you say to him late at night whenever you think he is asleep. “Is this some sort of April fool’s prank?” He asks and turns back to his desk. 

“No, I-I don’t want to be with you anymore!” You tell him, voice raising slightly, and Tsukishima has to pretend like his heart didn’t just crack a little bit.

“Right,” He shoos your words away with a flick of his wrist. “I’m not letting you break up with me.” His words should make you feel happy, and deep down they do but not now, instead, they only make you cry. You cover your face with your hands and let out the sob that had been creeping up in your throat. At your cries Tsukishima stiffens and pushes his schoolwork away, almost immediately he walks over to his bed and stands over your curled up form. “You really hate me this much?” He tries to laugh but his words come out bitterly. You shake your head profusely at him.

“You’re going to hate me.” You cry and your shoulders shake with each sob and Tsukishima tilts his head at you. 

“(Y/N), you know I already hate you.” Tsukishima jokes, he is really trying his best to comfort you, he’s rubbing your shoulder and letting you know he is there for you by standing close to you. Fuck, he doesn’t know what he is doing. 

“I-I think I’m pregnant.” You yell out and Tsukishima stiffens, quickly taking his hand off of you like you burned him. 

“Huh?” He pauses and blinks before leaving the room. You start to think he ran away and that thought only makes you cry harder. Tsukishima comes back not even a minute later and throws a box at you. 

“Don’t make assumptions, idiot.” He scolds and you pick up the box and squint at it with watery eyes.

“What is this?” You ask him and Tsukishima scoffs before walking over to you, he grabs your wrist and pulls you into his chest to walk you towards the bathroom. 

“It’s a box of pregnancy tests, Akiteru’s girlfriend left them last month.” Tsukishima gags at the thought of his older brother and longtime girlfriend, he did not need that image in his head. You continue to sniffle as tears stream down your face and Tsukishima sits you down on the ledge of his bathtub. “You’re okay, why are you crying? I’m right here. You’re fine (Y/N).” 

Tsukishima was right, you really were fine. All the tests came back negative and you got your period a week later. However, Tsukishima never let you live it down and has been scolding you ever since for being so careless. He’s just mad you made him worry so much~

~

Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly

[solomonish]

vibe with me vibe with me vibewithme. simeon/solomon SO good, you're SO right, related angstifluff inbound as i have been INSPIRED by your beeeautiful artistry once again. okay, SO. picture this— simeon's an angel, right? and he likes appearing normal and playing pretend with the others at RAD. he even likes pretending to be clueless sometimes, because it means the people he cares about will fuss over him. but he's very much Not clueless, and his prophetic eyes see things others can't. and simeon, sweet simeon, is actually so perceptive as a result that he turns around and ends up GENUINELY out of the loop sometimes, because he simply doesn't pick up on the little conflicts of those with a less-heightened perspective. so as time passes in purgatory hall, and he notices that solomon is slowly broadening the distance between them, simeon immediately assumes he's at fault. maybe he missed something and was rude accidentally. maybe he was careless, or gave off the wrong impression. hell, maybe his very status as an angel alone is just too much of a resemblance to michael for them to ultimately get along. he corners the wizard anyway, because he wants to make one last push for peace, and the two, ironically, end up squabbling instead. the argument gets more and more tense, with solomon dodging every olive branch offered and simeon stubbornly pushing for them to move back towards friendship, until solomon, sneering, spits back with a shocking amount of bitterness that someone as tainted as him would never have a chance with an angel anyway, so why does simeon even bother. simeon's brows furrow, his eyes softly aglow with Sight, and he pauses. then, just as carelessly as the sorcerer, he answers with "but Solomon... you're not stained at all. your soul's one of the brightest lights I've ever seen." CHAOS ENSUES.

NONNIE?!?!?! I AM VIBING WITH YOU RIGHT N O W

i do not know where to START with this.........I haven't really Thought Deeply And With Purpose about Simeon so first of all, LOVE the overview of him for me that was very kind and smart of you and hard agree, but also! I think it'd be cute if he's over here acting all clueless and Solomon (the person he WANTS to fuss over him) is just. Withdrawing. So he's a grumpy angel after that for a little bit lol

And when he approaches Solomon, Solomon is as good as dead. Not only does Simeon look devastatingly beautiful in his best diplomatic pose, trying to appeal to every favorite of Solomon's that he knows of, but he also looks devastatingly DEVASTATING and Solomon knows when he's backed up against the junction of the kitchen counters that he is NOT getting out of this unscathed and will probably be completely obliterated because Simeon is NOT one to mess around when he gets like this.

AND SOLOMON HAVING THE BRIGHTEST SOUL EVER.......THAT HITS!!!

I normally go for making him all broody and actually having a tainted soul (is it bc I like the idea of worldbuilding that demons actually take over a sliver of your soul in a pact? or i like him brooding? or i just have chronic 'i can save him' syndrome? i don't know) but GOD........Simeon doesn't say anything about it before because he just assumes he knows! He has Michael's ring for crying out loud and there hasn't been holy campaign to get it back! The soul isn't so fickle as to be defined by the company he's kept, it's connected to HIM and HE is good! HE takes care of his fellow humans even after they've left him behind! HE loves so deeply and honestly and hurts himself more to save those he loves! the ANGST! the FEELINGS!

whoever you are anon, we are on the same WAVELENGTH here! This is exactly the kind of thing I was thinking (the exact scenario? all yours of course and GENIUS to boot) so I think this means I owe you my life....? please claim your reward within the next 24 hours

[silverlightqueen]

Song Request

'I just wish the cost of her happiness wasn’t my own.’

Jungkook x reader - smut, angst, a little bit of fluff, a pathetic attempt at some humour and a bit of cheese lmao

Part of ficswithluv’s Bulletproof Bingo!

Rating: 18 (graphic sex and mature themes)

Word Count: 11.5k+ 

Warnings - there’s quite a few, please read carefully! infidelity, illness (Parkinson’s disease) and discussion of death, brief mention of drugs, dom!JK and sub!reader, unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), pain kink, brief asphyxiation, JK has a big cock (and tattoos), hickeys, explicit dirty talk, degradation and praise, multiple orgasms, fingering, (ridiculously) rough sex, (kind of) soft sex, sad sex, brief mention of punishment, impregnation kink, possessiveness, hand-holding during sex, semi-toxic relationship, I think that’s it but please let me know if you notice that I missed something!

a/n: hey guys !! this is my first Bulletproof Bingo fic and I’m super excited to write some more fics for this event! I really like this fic, it’s one of my favourites that I’ve ever written, so I hope you all really enjoy it too! thank you to the love of my life @silverlightprincess for proof-reading this at 2am this morning and making me even more excited to post it by saying it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written (you’re the best and I love you). I’m like 99.999% sure that I’m gonna do a part two to this so please lmk if you like it bc it will motivate me to actually write the part two lol x

silverlightqueen masterlist

‘You really shouldn’t be here,’ I sigh as I lean against the doorframe, trying to avoid meeting his eyes. ‘I know but… I had to come. I had to see you one more time,’ he says gently, and I look down either side of the corridor to make sure it’s empty before I let him in. The hotel is crawling with our friends and family, and I’m sure they’d have some questions seeing Jungkook outside of my room.

I move to the side, and I can sense the grin on his face without even looking up at him as he brushes past me. I shut the door behind him, and when I turn back around, he’s sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at me. He’s dressed in a loose white t-shirt, revealing the black ink curling up his hands and arms, and a pair of grey sweatpants, the black Gucci sliders that I bought him for his last birthday on his feet.

‘Have you been crying?’ he asks, voice soft, and I nod, feeling the tears flooding my eyes again. ‘Oh, baby, please don’t cry. It breaks my heart when you cry,’ he says, voice strained, and he holds out a hand to me. Every time he does this, the voices in my head get louder, and it’s an internal struggle to see what I’ll do.

‘Don’t do this again.’ ‘You’ve done it before, one more time won’t make a difference.’ ‘You’re only hurting yourself, making it worse for yourself.’ ‘He’s hurting, and you can take his pain away.’ ‘He can’t love you.’ ‘He loves you.’

And the same voice always wins.

I put my hand in his, the familiar smirk appearing on his face, like he knew what I’d do, like he always knows what I’ll do. He tugs my hand, pulling me towards him, and he spreads his legs, allowing me to stand between them. He tilts his head back to look up at me (though he’s not much shorter – these hotel beds are ridiculously high), and lifts his hands to wipe away the tears running down my face.

‘Don’t cry,’ he whispers again, before pulling me against him, his strong tattooed arms holding me close, his face buried in my chest as I wrap my arms around his shoulders. ‘Will you let me make it better?’ he asks, voice muffled against the white satin of my dressing gown, the words ‘Bride Squad’ embroidered across the back of it, and I hesitate, the voices getting louder again.

‘You can stop. You can turn him away.’ ‘What’s the point? You’ve done this so many times before.’ ‘This time’s different, and you know it is.’ ‘This might be your last time. Why would you turn him away?’ ‘Be the good person. Don’t do this.’ ‘You deserve one last time.’

‘Please,’ I breathe out, and his fingers tug at the belt of my gown, letting it fall open, and he sucks in a breath. ‘White lingerie? Anyone would think you’re the bride,’ he whispers, fingers skimming over my exposed skin before he pushes the gown off my shoulders. His words hurt, and he knows they do, but I shake them off. ‘I was trying it on, ready for tomorrow. I have to wear white, because of my dress,’ I say evenly, and his eyes flit up to where my dress hangs up on the outside of the wardrobe.

‘Such a pretty dress. I love you in blue,’ he murmurs, my heart fluttering at the praise. ‘Get on the bed for me, angel,’ he says, words laced with dominance, and I instantly lie on the bed beside where he sits. He doesn’t waste much time, getting up and shrugging off his t-shirt before climbing over me, lips ghosting over my neck and jaw.

‘Don’t you dare put marks on me,’ I say as my fingers tangle into his soft curly locks, and he chuckles against my skin. ‘Can’t you just cover them up with makeup?’ ‘No, the makeup will rub off onto my dress.’ ‘What if I put marks on your boobs? No one will see them there,’ he says, lips trailing down to my collarbones. ‘But it hurts.’ ‘You like it when it hurts, baby,’ he says with a raised eyebrow, looking up at me, and I roll my eyes. He takes that as a sign to do as he pleases, hands sliding beneath my back to unclasp my bra, pulling the straps off my arms and throwing it over his shoulder. His head ducks down to my breasts, and he doesn’t take care to be gentle, biting and sucking on the skin harshly, coaxing shaky breaths and whimpers from me.

Once he’s deemed the faint marks that are beginning to appear sufficient, his lips trail further down my body. ‘So pretty. You’re so pretty,’ he mumbles against me, my skin tingling where he touches it. His movements become more and more desperate with each moment, as though he’s scared I’m going to leave, but we both know I’m not going anywhere.

‘What’d you want, baby?’ he asks, like he always does, and I sigh, because he already knows. ‘You. I want you,’ I breathe out, and he stills with his lips on the seam of my pants. ‘Be more specific, angel.’ ‘For fuck’s sake, JK, I want your cock,’ I say, voice laced with desperation, and he chuckles against the white lace. ‘Gotta get you wet first,’ he says, and a breath escapes my lips as he looks up at me, lip caught between his teeth, eyes dark with desire. ‘You want that, baby? Want me to eat you out?’ he asks, and I nod, before whispering, ‘yes… please.’

‘Whatever you want, angel,’ he says, pulling my pants down my legs, leaving me fully exposed to his hungry eyes, the desire in his gaze making me shiver. He spreads my legs before lifting them, moving closer to me and letting them fall over his shoulders, giving him total access to where I need him most. He swipes the pad of his finger against my folds, a shaky breath falling from my lips as he holds his finger to his mouth, tongue darting out to taste, and he lets out an appreciative hum.

‘Taste so good. Better than her,’ he says, unable to help himself like always, and I freeze. He knows it hurts when he does this, and he does it anyway, because it inflates his ego every time. ‘What the fuck, JK?’ I spit, moving my legs from his shoulders and recoiling in on myself. He lets out a gentle chuckle, leaning on his forearms, as he looks up at me, not one hint of guilt in his face. No, he’s lucky. I’m the one that gets all the guilt.

‘It’s not funny. I hate it when you do that, Kook,’ I mumble, and a little grin appears on his lips. ‘Sorry, baby,’ he says, words dripping with amusement, not even trying to be sincere. ‘Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,’ I spit, and his grin grows even wider. ‘Bastard,’ I mutter, and he lets out another chuckle, seeming to find this situation hilarious, when in actuality, it’s far from it.

Silence falls over the room, his eyes on me, as I stare unseeingly at my hands. I really hate him sometimes. How can he be so bold to joke about this, when it’s so wrong? I will myself to have the strength to send him back to his room, to tell him to just go fuck himself, but I know I never will, and he knows it too, which is why he insists on pushing the boundaries. According to him, guilty sex is the best sex. How he knows that, I’m not sure. He never seems to feel the guilt that practically eats me up.

This is always the worst bit. I’ve done this enough times to know how this goes, to know the stages of our time together. He lures me in with sweet compliments and sad eyes, before he pulls some kind of dick move, to test me. To give me an out. Though we both know I’ll never take it. I’m never strong enough. And then he gives a pitiful attempt at making it up to me.

‘Are you done sulking yet, or should I just go?’ he says, and my eyes flit up to meet his, dark and chocolaty, smooth and bright. I stare at him for a few moments, waiting for him to melt and apologise properly, wondering if he will this time.

‘I’m sorry, y/n. I know I shouldn’t joke, but it makes it easier for me,’ he says, sounding sincere, yet his eyes are unreadable, making it difficult to tell whether he’s saying it because he’s sorry or because I’m naked in front of him and his dick is straining against his boxers. ‘But it makes it harder for me,’ I say, almost pleadingly, though my words may be falling on deaf ears. It’s hard to tell when he’ll listen to me, actually truly listen to me, and take my words on board, or whether he’ll pretend as though he has so that he can get his dick wet.

It’s hard to tell whether he loves me sometimes.

‘I know, baby, I’m sorry, I really am. I won’t do it again, I promise,’ he says softly, and I nod, wondering how long it’ll take him to break his promise again. We sit in silence for a few more moments, and I can’t tear my eyes away from his. ‘You forgiven me yet?’ he asks, all of the false remorse gone from his face now, replaced by an amused smirk and dark eyes. And I want to be angry at him, I really do. But my will to feel him is stronger. ‘Mmhmm,’ I reply, and he grins, reaching an inked-up hand out to my leg, and pulling me down the bed.

As soon as I’m lying down, he’s on top of me again, his lips meeting mine for the first time since he entered the room. No one has ever kissed me better than Jungkook, and I very much doubt anyone ever will. His lips are soft, yet his mouth is rough against mine, his tongue gliding over my own, making me number with every movement. And when he pulls one of my lips between his teeth, so hard he draws blood, it’s game over, my mind turning to mush as he laves his tongue over where blood blooms from my sensitive skin. If kissing were a sport, Jungkook would win first place, like he does with everything else.

But it doesn’t last for long. Whilst he’s an expert at pretty much everything, he loses interest quicker than children do. Even more so when I’m moaning against his mouth and grinding up into him desperately. He breaks away from me, lips taking the same path down my body as a few moments ago, but this time, he reaches his destination. As though he can’t waste another moment, he throws my legs over his shoulders and licks a broad stripe up my slit.

‘So wet for me, angel. Always so wet for me,’ he exhales, warm breath fanning out over where I need him most, and I let out a desperate moan. ‘You want my mouth?’ he asks teasingly, and I nod, looking down at him impatiently, his eyes shining with mischief. ‘Beg.’ I let out a frustrated sigh, hating that he pushes me so far, so stubborn that he’ll never be the one to give in because he knows that I will. I always will.

‘Jungkook, please. Need your mouth, need you to make me cum,’ I plead, tone lined with defeat, and he gives me an impish grin before his tongue darts out to wet his lips. He ducks his head but doesn’t do anything, and my fingers tangle into his hair to prompt him. ‘Such a pretty pussy, baby,’ he compliments, and I eat it up, letting his shitty generic praise soothe my pain.

‘Jungkook, please,’ I whisper again, and he chuckles before his tongue dips between my folds. I let out a broken moan as the pleasure builds, his ministrations making me squirm beneath him. ‘So sensitive for me,’ he says against me, lips enveloping my heat, tongue poking between my folds before he moves to suck at my clit, teeth scraping against the bud to push me even further.

‘Yes, fuck, feels so good,’ I whine, voice shaky as I run my nails over his scalp, head falling back into the pillow, back arching up into the cool breeze blowing in from the open balcony doors. His hands slide under my lower back and he pulls me even closer towards him, trying desperately to get deeper and deeper, suffocating himself with me.

‘Oh. Oh, God,’ I breathe out, and he hums into me, the vibrations sending a wave of bliss washing over me, and I let out a moan of his name. And that’s what pushes him, what always pushes him. He loves his name on my lips, and he loses all restraint, lapping, no, slurping at me with desperation. Every movement is greedy, desperate, full of lust so strong it seeps into me too, loud moans and obscene squelching filling the room.

His tongue delves into me, nose nestling against my clit, and it’s euphoria, absolute euphoria, my hands tugging at his hair to bring him closer, impossibly closer, and he complies, making me whimper with delight. And then his movements begin to slow, and I know where this goes.

‘So good. Tastes so good. So sweet for me, baby,’ he says when he breaks away, the bottom half of his face shining with my essence, lips drenched with me. He doesn’t even give me a chance to plead, to complain, to beg him, before his index finger begins teasing at my clit, flicking the bud gently. Slowly, impossibly slowly, his finger trails down to my folds before pushing between them, and my walls tighten around the digit.

‘Stop clenching. If you can’t take one finger, how will you take my cock? Huh? Gotta stop clenching,’ he murmurs, voice soothing as his finger pumps in and out leisurely, and I nod, my hands falling from his head and clutching at the sheets instead. He gradually speeds up, his finger being joined by another and making me whimper, body shuddering as he scissors his fingers, attempting to stretch me open.

Without warning, he ducks his head to suck at my clit, and I cry out as his fingers fuck into me, my body working of its own will to get away from him because it just feels too damn good, so good it hurts. ‘Stop moving, or I’ll spread you over my lap instead. I might not have my belt, but my hand works just fine,’ he threatens, lips moving against my clit, and I tense, trying not to move.

‘I’m gonna…’ I trail off, biting down onto my lip, my eyes screwed shut as he curls his fingers against my soft walls. ‘You’re gonna cum? Is that right, angel?’ he asks, and I nod, not trusting myself to open my mouth to reply, knowing only moans of his name will come out, and it’s too dangerous. Her room is right across the hall.

And then he adds another finger, the three digits stretching me wider, so wide it hurts. I let out a whimper of pain, and he chuckles, his breath fanning out over my stomach. ‘Don’t complain, baby, you like it when it hurts. My little slut can only get off if it hurts, right?’ he asks, fingers ramming into me without any concern for how it hurts, hurts so fucking bad. So bad it has me balling the sheets up into my fists, my back arching up from the bed, moans falling from my lips, so desperate for more. ‘Cum for me, baby,’ he whispers, before attaching his lips to my clit again, his fingers curling one last time, drawing an incredibly intense orgasm out of me.

My entire body tenses as I let out a long, drawn-out moan, his fingers and mouth still working to prolong my high, and I clench around him, so tight his fingers are caught inside me. Once he feels me coming down, relaxing around his digits, he practically rips them out of me, a shudder racking through my body as I watch him lick my cum off his tattooed skin.

‘I’m so hard, so fucking hard for you,’ he spits out, his body radiating frantic energy as he pushes himself up from the bed, hastily pushing his sweatpants down his legs, quickly followed by his underwear, his hard length slapping up to hit his stomach, red and swollen and leaking with precum. The desperation in every movement of his tells me that this is the moment he’d do anything I asked of him. The moment he loves me most.

He climbs back onto the bed, hovering over me again, and surprises me by pressing his lips to mine again. Usually, nothing comes before his cock filling me up, but I’m pleasantly surprised at the kiss, no matter how sloppy it is. I can taste myself in his mouth, my own essence dancing across my taste buds, and his hands dig into my sides so hard I know they’ll bruise.

‘Why is your hair in braids? I like pulling your hair when it’s out,’ he murmurs against my mouth, sounding like a little kid, his words making me laugh. ‘She prefers my hair wavy, said wavy hair looks prettier with flowers in it,’ I reply, lips moving against his as I speak, and he laughs. ‘Flowers in your hair, huh? Gives me something pretty to look at when you get on your knees for me tomorrow,’ he says, words dripping with arrogance, and I pull away from him, annoyed.

‘What? Oh, sorry. You’re the pretty thing I’ll be looking at, not the flowers,’ he grins proudly, completely misreading me, and I let out a huff. ‘I’m not sucking you off tomorrow,’ I say, and he frowns, eyes still full of amusement. He seems to find everything endlessly funny. ‘Why not, baby? You owe me.’ ‘You know why not. This is the last time, Jungkook,’ I say, and he doesn’t react for a few moments, just staring at me unreadably, before he rolls his eyes, a grin spreading across his lips. ‘Okay. Let’s make it a good one, then,’ he whispers, eyes darkening, a fresh wave of arousal flooding out from my core as I nod, Jungkook pressing a brief kiss to my lips.

‘Hands and knees, angel,’ he instructs, moving off me to stand beside the bed, and I grin to myself, hastily turning onto my front. My hands and knees dig into the mattress, a little shaky with how weak my body is after my orgasm, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice – or doesn’t care about – how tired I am, just teasing my folds with the tip of his rock-hard cock. ‘No condom?’ I ask breathlessly, and he chuckles before pushing the tip in, stretching me out with a deliciously painful burn. ‘Fuck a condom. Wanna feel you clench around my fat cock. Gonna fuck a baby into you,’ he spits out, his words making me gush around him as I let out a breathy moan, and he chuckles.

‘My little slut loves the sound of that, huh? You want my baby? Wanna be nice and round with my baby?’ he asks, voice harsh and low, but I’m struggling to focus on his words, my mind occupied by the feeling of his tip inside me. ‘Answer me, or the tip is all you’ll get. I can cum easily; it’s harder for you,’ he threatens, and I know he’d make good of it too. ‘Yes, yes, want your baby, JK, please fuck me, need your cock,’ I say mindlessly, the words just falling from my lips without thought because I’m so desperate that my entire body aches for him.

‘Good girl. That’s my good girl. My pretty little baby,’ he says, voice soft and soothing, and I’ve gotten used to how quick his entire disposition switches, the change no longer giving me whiplash like it used to. He slowly sinks into me, the painful stretch prompting a sob to be torn from my throat, and he rubs my back soothingly as he bottoms out. ‘So big,’ I whimper, and he chuckles. ‘Mmhmm, my cock’s way too big for you, but you take it so well, angel, so fucking well,’ he praises as he stays still inside me, allowing me to adjust.

‘Please, JK, move,’ I plead, and his hands stop rubbing, gripping onto my waist instead. ‘Sure?’ he asks, though I can feel that he’s practically itching to fuck me. ‘Yes, need you,’ I breathe out, and he doesn’t hesitate any longer, pulling out of me before slamming back in, winding me. He’s ruthless, pounding into me so hard that his balls slap against my thighs, hands digging into my waist, both our skin damp with sweat.

I arch my back, and he leans forward over me, grabbing my two French braids in one hand, tugging on them to hold my head up, the pull only slightly painful. He fucks into me, hard, with no restraint, my head bent back at an uncomfortable angle, my moans projecting around the room. ‘Does my slut like it when I fuck you like this? Like it when I fuck you like the little bitch you are?’ he asks, my moans answer enough it seems, a strained chuckle falling from his lips.

He props one foot up on the bed, allowing him to hammer into me at a bruising pace, cock filling me up completely, having me completely blissed out. ‘You take my cock so well, angel, so fucking well. You take it like a little slut,’ he breathes out between grunts, and it’s forceful, it’s vicious, it’s primal the way he’s fucking me, so good I can’t think of anything but him, and how fucking amazing his cock is.

My arms give way before I can realise how much they ache, and I fall face first into the sheets. ‘Oh, baby, are you tired?’ he asks gently, his cock stilling inside me, and I try to lift myself back up, desperate to feel him again. ‘No, stop,’ he says, turning me over, his dick slipping out in the process. When I’m on my back, I look up at him and my heart flutters. His dark hair is damp and curly, his pupils completely blown out with lust, his lips pink and swollen, his cheeks flushed, and his entire body covered in a sheen of sweat.

He pauses for a moment, eyes flitting over my body like how an artist admires their work, and I know he’s revelling in how fucked out I am, how wrecked he’s made me, my chest heaving and my entire body radiating hot desire. And there’s something in his eyes, something else, something different. Something affectionate, soft, sad. And that feeling seeps into me, knowing that this is the last time I can feel his touch, the last time I can get tangled up with him in the sheets.

The moment passes and his eyes harden once more, his hands sliding beneath my slick body and lifting me up into his toned arms, my legs coming up around his waist instinctually. He carries me over to the door, his strength astounding me all over again, my fingers running over the ridges of his muscles. He pushes me up against the door, my legs still clamped around him, and his hands roam over my body.

‘Won’t someone hear if you fuck me here?’ I ask, my lips against his collarbones, and he chuckles. ‘That’s the whole point. Isn’t her room right across the hall? Maybe she can learn what good sex sounds like,’ he says amusedly, and my heart doesn’t sink this time. It was only a matter of time before he brought her up again. In all honesty, it took him longer than I expected.

He doesn’t even give me a chance to reply before he sinks into me, my face contorting with pleasure beneath his intense gaze. He pulls out, still watching my reactions, before pushing back in at an agonisingly slow pace. He rocks into me, cock dragging against my walls leisurely, and I can feel it even more like this, can feel every inch filling me up and stretching me out.

‘Fuck, so good, so fucking good,’ I moan loudly, and he pushes two fingers into my mouth. ‘Gotta be quiet. We’ll get a noise complaint, and I don’t wanna rush. Like taking my time with you, like ruining you slowly, like making you a fucked out little bitch desperate for my cock. Isn’t that what you want, angel? Want me to fuck you nice and slow?’ he whispers against my ear, and I let out a moan around his fingers, gushing all over his thighs.

He takes this as a yes, grinning devilishly as he fucks me deep, swollen head scraping against the soft spongy spot inside me, and I whimper and whine around his fingers as he lets out sinfully soft grunts and groans against my neck. He’s usually so rash, so hasty, so eager, very rarely fucking me slow like this, both of us savouring every thrust.

I clench around him and he grins, bringing a tattooed hand to rest at the base of my neck, fingers still in my mouth. ‘Feels good?’ he asks, and I nod enthusiastically, a little laugh falling from his lips. ‘Of course it does. No one can fuck you like this. No one can fuck you like I fuck you. My good little slut, only mine. I own you, baby. This pussy is mine,’ he whispers, the dirty words combined with the slow drags of his cock against my walls making me sob around his fingers, a grin spreading across his lips.

His hand around my neck tightens, cutting off my airways slightly, and I let out an unintelligible string of curses around his fingers, my breathing quickly becoming laboured. I clench around him sporadically, quickly feeling my high approaching, and he can feel it too, his hands disappearing from my neck and mouth, coming to rest at my waist instead.

‘So pretty, baby, so beautiful and good for me. Love your pussy, feels so good. Love having sex with you. So lucky I get to touch you, taste you, fuck you,’ he whispers between groans, and I let out whimpers at his words.

His touches across my body are featherlight and soft, his thrusts slow and deep, and he breathes out compliments and gentle words against my skin. And then I realise that he’s no longer fucking me. He’s making love to me.

He leans forward, capturing my lips with his in a kiss, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, hands tangling into his hair. I feel myself reaching my climax quicker than ever as our lips move together, tongues and teeth clashing in the desperate and passionate kiss. He swallows my moans, and when they get more and more frequent, he breaks away from me.

‘Close, angel?’ he asks, and I nod, my eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his body rolling against mine, thrusts slow and deep. ‘So close, baby, feels so good. So fucking good, Jungkook,’ I breathe out and his hand reaches down to rub at my clit as he continues thrusting into me, the tip dragging against the soft spongy part inside me. The feeling is so euphoric, the pleasure rendering my mind black of everything but Jungkook, my body melting into his, our chests pressed together.

‘Come on, baby, cum for me. Wanna feel you clenching around me, baby, you’re so close. Cum for me, angel,’ he whispers into my ear before pressing his lips to mine, these soft and loving words so unlike anything he’s ever said to me before that they push me over the edge as I let out a loud moan of his name against his mouth, as a mind-numbing orgasm washes over me.

My vision turns blank, head empty as white noise fills my ears, pussy clenched around him in a vice-like grip, and he continues to rub at my clit to draw out the pleasure. Once I feel myself coming down, I pull his hand away before interlocking it with mine, a smile breaking across his face as our eyes lock together in a gentle gaze.

‘I love you, y/n,’ he whispers softly, and the words bring tears to my eyes, because I’ve never heard him say them before. Not to me, anyway. His smile falls slightly when I don’t answer, my whole body frozen, before I reply without even thinking; ‘I love you, too, Jungkook.’

His smile reappears with force, filling his face with such joy that it makes the tears spill out over my cheeks as I laugh. ‘I love you. I fucking love you, y/n. I love you so much,’ he whispers again and again, both of us completely still, our hands still locked together.

My walls still flutter around him with the aftershocks of my orgasm. ‘Shall I stop? Are you too sensitive?’ he asks, my heart melting as more tears run down my face. ‘No, want you to cum,’ I reply, and he lets out a curse, beginning to thrust into me again.

I keep clenching around him involuntarily, and I reach down my free hand to play with his balls, my other hand still in his tight grip. ‘Come on, baby, you’re so close. Cum for me,’ I whisper before pressing my lips to his briefly, digging my heels into his back to hold him in place, deep inside me, his dick twitching. He buries his head into my neck and lets out a strangled moan of my name as he cums inside me, painting my walls with his hot, thick release. His hips stutter as he tries to prolong his orgasm, my hand still playing with his balls, his whole body tense.

Once he’s come down from his orgasm, his body relaxes and I remove my hand from his balls, my other hand still clasped in his and his head still nestled in my neck. He wraps his arms around me, carrying me over to the bed and laying me down carefully before disappearing into the bathroom. He comes back a few moments later with a towel and some water, and he cleans me up with a loving gaze as I sip down the water.

Once he’s deemed his cleaning sufficient, he throws the towel across the room, both of us laughing gently, before his face becomes a little more serious. ‘I wasn’t just saying it, y/n. I do love you,’ he says, the thrill of the words not quite old yet. ‘I know. And I love you too,’ I say, the smile on his face mirrored on my own.

Before we both realise the weight of what we’re saying, and it hits us like a ton of bricks. This is worse than the usual comedown, much worse. All the previous times, it’s been easier, because it’s hard to love someone when their words and touches are full of lust and nothing more. But this time…. I could feel the love, in every single movement, in every touch, in every word. Yeah, this comedown hurts.

I open my mouth to speak, though I’m not sure what I’m going to say, but he shakes his head. ‘Don’t. Save it for the morning. I just want to be normal now. Can we do that? Can we just pretend to be a normal couple, pretend that you love me, and I love you, and that’s all there is?’ he asks, desperation in his voice, in his eyes, his face, his entire body, different from the desperation we both felt a little while ago, and I nod. ‘We can do that.’

He smiles, the most beautiful smile I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing, before he leans towards me, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. The kiss instantly deepens into something passionate, something soft, something full of love, and our arms wrap around each other as we fall back onto the bed, our limbs tangled together.

‘Don’t go,’ I whisper against his lips, ‘please don’t go. Stay the night.’ ‘I’m not going anywhere, baby,’ he whispers back, holding me in a tight grip, and I could live the rest of my life like this, in his arms, with his lips on mine. ‘I’m right here.’

‘y/n, so help me, if you don’t answer the fucking door!’ Jisoo’s shrill shriek breaks through my slumber, quickly followed by her fists hitting the door, making both Jungkook and I wake the fuck up. ‘Shit. Go hide,’ I whisper, pushing him out of the bed, and he gets out, still half asleep. ‘Bathroom?’ he asks groggily, grabbing his boxers and pulling them on. ‘No, balcony, she might need to use the bathroom,’ I say, and he sighs, rushing out onto the balcony and hiding around the corner where he isn’t visible through the doors.

I jump out of bed, grabbing my underwear and his clothes and shoving them into the wardrobe before I shrug on my white satin gown, quickly tying it as I kick his sliders under the bed. ‘y/n!’ Jisoo practically screams, and I wrench the door open, faced with Jisoo who holds a fist up, ready to bang on the door again. She jumps at the sight of me before huffing, pushing past me into the room. ‘What took you so long?’ she asks, and I sigh, shutting the door and going to sit at the foot of the bed. ‘I was, like, in such a deep sleep. Sorry,’ I say, and she shrugs. ‘It’s fine. I thought you’d disappeared or something,’ she says, and I let out a gentle laugh.

She’s in her white dressing gown too, white sliders on her feet, and her hair is already styled into an updo at the back of her head, a couple of loose curls framing her face with a few small blue flowers dotted around her head. ‘Your hair looks really pretty,’ I say, and she preens at the praise. ‘Thanks. I had to wake up so early, because the stylist has to do everyone else’s too. You’re lucky you can do your own hair,’ she says, and I grin, trying to ignore the panic in my veins, still half-asleep.

‘How did you sleep?’ I ask, and she huffs again, scowling. ‘Not well. Someone was having some loud ass sex. It must have been a couple in the room above me, because it was so fucking loud. Poor girl was nearly screaming – sounded like a pornstar, but real. I bet we’ll be able to spot her around the hotel today, barely able to walk,’ she chuckles, and I hope my face doesn’t betray me as I laugh along, my cheeks heating up.

‘Did you hear it?’ she asks, and I shake my head, feigning cluelessness. ‘No. It must have been above you ‘cause I couldn’t hear a thing. Or I just slept like a log,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes. ‘So lucky. You’ve always been a deep sleeper. You could sleep through a hurricane. Remember when we had renovations going on in the attic, and you literally slept through the entire thing?’ she says, and I laugh at the memory. ‘I get it from Dad. You’re like Mum – she’s a light sleeper too,’ I say, and she scowls. ‘Trust me, I know. She caught me sneaking in at night that many times,’ she mutters, and I burst out laughing, completely forgetting the boy out on my balcony as Jisoo laughs with me.

There’s something about reminiscing with a sister that makes you feel warm inside.

‘That’s not fair!’ she exclaims, looking towards my balcony, ‘you got a sea view! Mine’s a mountain view!’ She begins to walk towards it, and without thinking, I nearly shriek, ‘No! Don’t go out there!’ She turns to look at me, her face a mixture of confused and alarmed. ‘Um, why?’ ‘You’ll ruin your hair, dummy! It’s so windy out there,’ I lie, surprised at how quickly I thought of that, and she gasps with realisation. ‘Oh, my God, I completely forgot. What would I do without you, y/n?’ she says, and I try to smile at her with true happiness. ‘You’d have messy hair on your wedding day,’ I say, and she lets out a gentle laugh.

‘Speaking of which, how do you feel? Excited?’ I ask, and she hesitates. ‘I don’t know,’ she begins, and my eyes widen. ‘What?’ ‘No, not like that! Don’t worry, I’m not getting cold feet. He’s not getting out of marrying my crazy ass,’ she says, both of us laughing before she continues; ‘I just… I don’t know, I just don’t feel excited. It feels like a normal day.’ ‘Well, it takes a while to sink in-’ ‘No, it’s sunk in. I’m well aware. I just don’t feel… anything. At all,’ she says, seeming a little worried, and I sigh. ‘Jisoo, that’s okay. This is a big thing, and there’s no particular way you should feel. Trust me, when you’re walking down the aisle, then you’ll feel it,’ I say, and she smiles softly. ‘You always know what to say,’ she says gently, and I get up from the bed, pulling her into a hug.

She hugs me back for a few seconds before pulling away. ‘You smell…’ she begins before moving back in to sniff me. And then she pulls back in shock, eyes wide. ‘You smell like sex! Oh, my God, did Jimin come to your room last night?’ she demands. ‘No! God, no! He might be here as my date, but he’s still my best friend, Jisoo! And also gay! No, I… I struggled to drop off, so I… you know,’ I trail off, and she grins at me when she realises. ‘Ooh, okay,’ she says teasingly, and I bury my face in my hands embarrassedly.

‘Shut it.’ ‘Fine, fine, I’ll let it go. Anyway, I’ve gotta go get my makeup done, but I just wanted to check in on you, because you weren’t replying to my texts. I might go check on my lovely groom,’ she says excitedly, heading towards the door, and I grab her hand. ‘No, idiot, it’s bad luck! Mum would kill you,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes, sighing. ‘Whatever. I’ll just go back to my room then. But get ready. You need to shower, and do your hair, and makeup, and you’ve only got three hours,’ she nags, and I roll my eyes. ‘Now you’re sounding like Mum. That’s plenty of time. Go, get ready,’ I say, and she grins, pulling me into a quick hug before darting out into the hall, the door falling shut with a heavy thud behind her.

When I turn around, Jungkook’s already coming back into the room with a shit-eating grin on his face. ‘Jimin? She’s funny,’ Jungkook laughs as I get his clothes out of the wardrobe, but I can’t bring myself to join in with his amuseent. ‘You need to go,’ I say, retrieving the sliders from under the bed, and his face falls. ‘What? Why?’ he asks, and my eyes widen at his stupidity. ‘Because you’re getting married to my sister in three hours!’ I hiss angrily, throwing his clothes at him, and he looks so inexplicably sad, slumping down onto the edge of the bed, dropping his head into his hands.

And just like always, he manages to make me feel sorry for him.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that. But it’s true, Jungkook. You shouldn’t be here. You need to go and get ready. People are gonna start knocking on your door and wondering where you are,’ I say gently, and he nods, head still in his hands.

He takes a deep breath and looks up at me, and I really think he’s about to say goodbye and leave. And then he says something else entirely; ‘We could just run, you know.’ ‘What?’ I ask, blinking in shock, and he nods earnestly, getting up from the bed and taking my hands into his. ‘You love me, and I love you. That’s all that matters. We could run, start a life somewhere together,’ he says, and I can’t believe my ears.

I pull my hands from his, taking a couple steps back from him as his face falls. ‘Obviously you don’t care about my sister, but I do, and we cannot hurt her like that,’ I say coldly, his face twisting with rage. ‘You didn’t care about her when you were begging for my fucking cock last night,’ he spits, and I flinch at his words, the movement instantly taking the anger out of him.

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it-’ ‘It’s fine. You’re not exactly wrong. Neither of us cared about her last night, when we probably should have. But it’s done. Now… you go, and you marry her, and you make her the happiest girl in the world,’ I say as brightly as possible, and he sighs sadly, pulling me into his arms. ‘And make you the saddest? I can’t do that,’ he whispers, my head tucked under his chin, and I melt into him, blinking back tears. ‘You have to,’ I say, and he takes a shaky breath before pulling away from me.

‘I never should’ve proposed,’ he spits, so angry at himself, throwing himself down onto the bed again, feet planted firmly on the floor. ‘Why did you?’ I whisper, and he looks up at me in surprise. ‘What?’ ‘Why did you propose?’ I ask, and he sighs, throwing his head back with his eyes closed, pain all over his face. Silence descends over us as he hesitates, and I can practically feel his mind working at a hundred miles an hour. ‘She’s… she won’t be around for long,’ he says sadly, and the words don’t really register with me properly. ‘What? Why?’

‘She’s dying, y/n.’

The words strike me dumb, echoing in my ears as though he’d shouted them, even though they’d barely come out as a whisper. ‘No,’ I breathe out, clutching my hands together at my chest, my entire body numb. ‘I’m sorry you had to find out like this,’ he sighs, and I shake my head, trying to block out his words. ‘No, no, no, it can’t be true,’ I whisper, and he gets up from the bed, looking as though he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders as he takes the two small steps towards me, wrapping his arms around my body again.

I curl into him, seeking comfort from him, the word ‘no’ falling from my lips again and again, like a broken record. ‘I’m sorry, y/n,’ he murmurs against my forehead, and I take a deep breath, my hands balled up in fists against his chest. ‘No, Jungkook, no! It can’t be true. No,’ I practically shout, my fist hitting his chest repeatedly, and he continues holding me. And then I clutch onto him, like he’s a buoy in this sea of pain, the waves rising up higher than possible and washing over me so hard, I think I might drown.

And when it feels like lifetimes have passed, lifetimes of agony and pain and loss, I let go of him, stumbling towards the bed to sit down, hands clasping at the sheets to anchor me. ‘Why… why is she dying? Has she been diagnosed?’ I ask, and he nods, coming to sit beside me, and he takes my hands into his. ‘She’s got early onset Parkinson’s disease. It’s really rare in people our age. You know what that is, right?’ he asks, and I nod, trying to imagine my sister, my beautiful lively sister, debilitated, stuck in a wheelchair, unable to move and speak. The image hurts my heart.

‘Is she getting treatment?’ I ask, and he sighs. ‘It’s terminal, so treatment won’t save her, it’ll just… prolong her suffering,’ he replies, and I look at him with hard eyes. ‘Is she getting treatment?’ I repeat harshly, and he shakes his head. ‘Are you kidding?’ ‘y/n, she refused treatment. She said she’d rather die quickly than die painfully,’ he says, and my whole body shakes with fury.

‘She’s so fucking stupid, oh, my God! She’s going to die painfully either way! Parkinson’s isn’t a pretty disease! She’s gonna get to a point where she can’t even shit without help! Why wouldn’t she put that off as long as possible?’ I rant and Jungkook nods in agreement, inexplicably sad. ‘I’ve had this same conversation with her several times. You know what she’s like. Once she’s made a decision…’ he trails off, and I nod, knowing exactly what he means.

She decided she was going to get married at the beach that we visited in Santorini when she was 8 and I was 6. That’s exactly where we are. She decided that she was going to have her bridesmaids (and decorations) in blue since we saw a wedding on TV with that same colour palette when she was 11 and I was 9. That’s exactly what we’re wearing (and the colour of her decorations). And she decided she was going to marry Jeon Jungkook, the popular, sweet, soft and smart jock boy in her year at school, since she was 14 and I was 12. And that’s exactly who she’s marrying.

Once she’s made a decision, there’s nothing changing her mind.

‘Try not to be upset today, y/n. I know that’s hard, but you’re not supposed to know, and it needs to stay that way until she tells you herself. Just, please, try to put on a smile,’ he says, and I nod, blinking back the tears that had been pooling in my eyes, and putting on my brightest smile. ‘Good?’ I ask, and he grins. He looks genuinely happy. And then I look at myself in the mirror sat on the desk, and I look genuinely happy too. We might not have much, but at least we’re great actors. ‘Beautiful,’ he answers, my heart fluttering at the compliment.

‘Just remember… I was planning on breaking up with her. And then I found out she has around a year left before she starts getting really ill, and god knows how long she’ll have after that. I owe her the happiness of having her dream wedding, owe it to her after what we did. What we’ve been doing, for years,’ he says gently, and I nod, knowing he’s right. ‘Thank you, for marrying her. She’ll be happier than she’s ever been before,’ I say softly, and we smile sadly at one another.

We rise up from the bed and I walk him over to the door. ‘Remember,’ he says quietly, taking my hands into his again, ‘I’m the doting, head-over-heels, whipped yet annoyingly nonchalant and cocky husband, and you’re the supportive, over-the-moon, ecstatic yet annoyingly teasing and mischievous younger sister. Got it?’ I burst out laughing at his stupid descriptions of us, and he grins. ‘I’ll see you… at the wedding,’ he smiles, his voice tinged with sadness, and I nod, smiling sadly back as I say, ‘see you at the wedding.’

‘Speech! Speech!’ the crowd of our family and friends chant at Jisoo who holds the mic in her hand, laughing as she waits for them to quieten down so she can do her speech. Her smile is so big, and she looks so beautiful, so happy, absolutely radiant. Her dress is perfect for her, practically screams Jisoo – well, the whole wedding has screamed Jisoo. It’s her all over. She’s had her dream wedding, and I couldn’t be happier for her.

I just wish the cost of her happiness wasn’t my own.

It’s been difficult today, more difficult that I could’ve imagined. The worst part was being stood right beside Jungkook and Jisoo as they got married, said their vows, and praying Jisoo didn’t notice how often his eyes flitted to me. Being happy for Jisoo, though? That was the easiest part. Seeing her happy like this, knowing she’s dying soon, my happiness for her hasn’t been hard to fake. Even easier after I’ve been avoiding Jungkook all day, spending all possible time with Jimin instead.

And then the mic feedback sings out across the space, making everyone clap their hands over their ears. ‘Sorry, sorry. Shall I start?’ Jisoo asks, everyone laughing as Jungkook says, ‘yes, please,’ with an affectionate roll of his eyes, and she shoves him as he grins amusedly. He plays the role well.

Jisoo begins her speech by thanking everyone for flying out, thanking her bridesmaids for all their help and the hen party (which Jungkook pretends to scowl at), thanking the groomsmen for keeping Jungkook out of her hair during all the wedding planning, thanking all of both our family members and Jungkook’s that have helped out, and thanking both our parents and Jungkook’s for all of their support and help (and financial contribution which everyone lets out a hearty laugh at).

‘But I must give our biggest thank you to the two people that have helped out the most,’ she says, and I can already feel tears filling my eyes as she looks at me across the dancefloor. Jimin, sat beside me, coughs loudly, and Jisoo laughs. ‘Sorry, I mean, the three people that have helped out the most,’ she corrects herself, everyone laughing as Jimin puffs out his chest, making me roll my eyes at my eccentric best friend.

‘First, Jungkook’s brother, Hoseok. Thank you for coming to every single one of our different meetings and appointments and everything we needed you at, and not complaining at all. Thank you for accepting the fact that you couldn’t bring all of your old frat brothers to our wedding with such grace, and thank you for being a real support for me and Jungkook when things got stressful. I’m honoured to have been blessed with such a great brother-in-law, and I’m so grateful for the way you’ve welcomed me into your family with open arms,’ Jisoo says, her eyes on Hoseok, who looks awfully proud of himself, his eyes shining suspiciously bright, and I hear him shouting a moment later, ‘I’ve got allergies, I’ve got allergies!’

‘And onto my best friend… and her best friend. My beautiful y/n, you truly are my angel sent from above. Whilst Hoseok helped calm us down, you’re the one that gave us a kick up the arse when we were falling behind on planning. You were there for everything, absolutely everything, down to the miniscule things like deciding the font for the invitations, and the shade of blue for my earrings. You practically lived at our house, and so did Jimin. You’re the best Maid of Honour I could’ve ever asked for, and Jimin, you’re the best Vice Maid of Honour I could’ve asked for. You’ve both helped me out more than I can say, and I’m so grateful. We both are.

y/n, thank you for being the best sister ever. From when you were born, I knew I was lucky to have you, and you’ve never proven it more than during the wedding planning. I love you so much, my love, and I can’t wait to see you fall in love and get married so I can nag and annoy and bug you and your fiancé just as much as you did with us. Thank you,’ she says, her eyes shining, and tears run down my cheeks at how lovely her speech was. And also the fact that she won’t ever see me get married, because I’m in love with her husband.

‘I love you,’ I mouth at her across the space, and she grins her beautiful grin back at me, blowing me a kiss. And then she turns to Jungkook, handing him the mic, and he takes it with a smile.

‘I, um… gosh, Jisoo always was the clever one,’ he begins, everyone laughing as Jisoo shakes her head, and those of us that know him best know he’s just as clever as her. They’re practically a power couple; brains, looks, talent. Their kids will be like superheroes. ‘She’s said all of the ‘thank you’s, to be honest, but I just want to add to a couple of them,’ he says before thanking the staff, his groomsmen and the bridesmaids again, and then his and our parents.

Then he thanks his brother – well, it’s less of a ‘thank you’ and more of a roasting. But his smile and eyes are so full of love for his brother, and I’ve seen them together enough over the years to know that their bond is something special. Like mine and Jisoo’s, I guess.

Then he thanks Jimin (he’s practically preening at all the attention) for keeping Jisoo and I in check when we got overexcited/emotional/spent way too much, and for keeping their main wedding planner (me) sane, and also restraining me from throttling Jisoo when she turned into bridezilla.

And then Jungkook’s gaze turns towards me, and it’s like everyone disappears, like how that happens every time he looks at me. But I shake it off. Because here, today, we aren’t secret lovers. He’s the groom, I’m the Maid of Honour, and we’re in-laws now. And we have to be happy for Jisoo.

‘And y/n, the sister I would’ve preferred to be with, but she was taken when I met her,’ he jokes, everyone laughing as Jisoo slaps his shoulder with a grin. ‘Thank you, y/n, for everything you’ve done for us both. You’ve been there as long as I can remember, the annoying younger sibling – and, Jimin, the best friend that was attached to her hip – the two of you always wanting to hang out with the older kids. You’ve been in my life just as long as Jisoo has and, even though you’ve only been my sister-in-law for a few hours, you’ve been here all along. So thank you, for helping our dream wedding come true, and for being… you. I look forward to the day that we can see you get married… and our children can be your flower girls and page boys,’ he says, rounding off on a light note, and a gentle laugh runs around the wedding party.

Tears flow down my face, and everyone gives us indulgent smiles, in wonder at how close, how tight knit our family is. But Jungkook’s gaze lingers on me a little too long, and I see past the light grin, see through the cracks in his armour, see the way his eyes shine with tears, the way his top lip seems to quiver a little, the way his fist keeps clenching and unclenching. And it hurts. God, it really fucking hurts. And he can see how much it hurts, because his mask slips for a moment, and so does mine, before we both look away from one another.

He begins his speech for his wife, and I just know I can’t bear to listen, can’t bear to hear him spout lies, so I dismiss myself, giving Jimin the excuse of running up to my hotel room to fix my makeup and go for a wee. I rush past all the smiling faces, the soft breeze ruffling my hair and dress as I take the stairs that lead up from the beach and back into the hotel, but instead of turning left where all the rooms are, I turn right and run down towards where I know the hotel’s other stretch of beach is, tears running down my face.

I perch on a deck chair, the hem of my dress laying against the sand as I look out at the sea crashing against the shore, the setting sun reflected in the waves. My head finally calms, the tears coming to a stop as I listen to the sound of the sea, the rest of the world just melting away, everything else melting away. Jungkook, Jisoo, the fact that she’s ill, and the fact that she just married the boy I love, it all just… disappears from my head. For a few beautiful moments, there’s just me and the sea.

And then I hear footsteps approaching behind me. ‘y/n,’ I hear his voice, and I laugh, turning to him with a smile. ‘I swear to God, what can I do to get you to leave me alone?’ I ask, and Hoseok bursts into laughter as he sits on the deck chair beside me. ‘I saw you leave. You okay? I know today must have been really hard for you,’ he begins, but I hold up a hand. ‘Please, Hoseok, don’t. I get that you mean well, but I really can’t talk about this,’ I say, and he nods, smiling sadly. ‘Okay. We won’t talk about it,’ he says simply, and I smile back before both of us turn to look out at the sea.

I met Hoseok when I was… 14? Maybe 15. He was the older brother of the boy that my sister was convinced she would marry, and also the older brother of the boy that had asked me on a date (despite being two years older than me), and I’d had to tell him I had a boyfriend (how I wish I’d just gone on the date with him all those years back). I was out with my friends once when we’d heard some boy shouting my name. We all turned to look, and saw Jeon Jungkook, the most desirable boy at our school, and who must have been his older brother – the resemblance was striking. It’d been Hoseok shouting my name, teasing Jungkook because of his crush on me.

The next time I saw Hoseok was when I was 16, and Jisoo had told our family that she was dating someone, but wanted us to meet their family before they made it official. Both mine and Jungkook’s jaws had dropped when I walked into his house – obviously the fact that I was Jisoo’s sister hadn’t come up in their conversation. I’d seen Hoseok plenty of times since then; he’d been at every birthday of our family’s, and I’d been at every birthday of their family’s – he even came to my graduation. It was a couple years ago that Hoseok and I became really good friends, and I’d broken down and confessed to him that I was love with his brother and had been the entire time he’d been dating my sister. He took it well – I’m guessing his reaction wouldn’t quite have been the same had I confessed that we’d also been sleeping together for a few years behind everyone’s backs.

Hoseok had been like an older brother to me, all of the annoying traits included, and he’d managed to whisk me away from tough situations (like family get-togethers) with excuses of having to get some more lemonade from the shop or pick some weed up from his dealer’s house (he’s always been very open about his smoking, and it hadn’t been long before Jungkook joined in too, but he kept it to a minimum when Jisoo was around – I’d been with him whilst he was high several times though. He’s cute when he’s high – soft and affectionate and needy).

‘Okay, I think we should head back. They might start worrying we’ve snuck off somewhere. You know, Maid of Honour, Best Man,’ he says, wiggling his eyebrows, and I shove him with a laugh, both of us rising up from our deck chairs. He holds an arm out to me, and I take it, and we walk back towards the wedding in a comfortable silence.

The air is still deliciously warm, the setting sun casting an orange glow over the atmosphere, the sky streaked with pastel colours as the sound of the waves crashing against the shore is faint, yet present. ‘Is my makeup okay?’ I ask as we approach the wedding, the music getting a little louder with each step. ‘It’s perfect. I would never have guessed you’ve been crying your eyes out,’ he teases, and I nudge him in annoyance.

And then I hear the DJ’s voice ring out into the air; ‘First song request of the night!’ With the invitations, they sent out song request cards for people to… request a song to be played at the wedding. I can’t even remember what I put down on mine. ‘This request is from the sister of the bride, our beautiful Maid of Honour! This is Perfect by Ed Sheeran and Beyoncé.’

‘How tasteless of you,’ Hoseok says, and I give him an indignant look, though I can’t help but feel dread at this song playing. ‘It’s romantic,’ I defend, and he rolls his eyes as we reach the rest of the wedding party. It’s like I can sense his eyes on me, and I turn to meet his gaze, and he grins, instantly making his way towards me. ‘Can I have this dance?’ he asks with shining eyes and a gentle grin, and Hoseok instantly removes his arm from mine as I take Jungkook’s hand, letting him pull me onto the dancefloor.

‘Why’d you choose this song, y/n?’ he asks teasingly as we glide around the floor, as though we’re one person in two different bodies, moving as one. ‘It’s romantic,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘So you don’t remember the piece of our history that’s attached to this song?’ he asks, and I avoid his gaze, embarrassed. ‘You’re a little minx choosing this song,’ he jokes, and I let out a laugh, our eyes meeting with amusement.

It was a couple weeks before his aunt’s wedding, four years ago, and he was taking Jisoo as his date. But he’d asked me to help him learn how to properly waltz so he could surprise and impress my sister at the wedding. So I’d gone over to his house, nobody else but us at home, and we’d spent hours trying to waltz with this song playing in the background. He eventually got the hang of it, but we’d gotten lost in each other’s eyes and he tripped over his own feet and we’d fallen to the floor, his body landing on top of mine.

That was the start of our affair.

‘Shall we waltz?’ he asks, and I laugh, nodding as we begin to waltz around the dancefloor. My dress swishes around our legs as my heels click against the temporary dancefloor they’d put down on top of the sand. He looks so handsome, in his black tux and white shirt open at the collar, having discarded his tie a couple hours ago, silver cufflinks sparkling at his wrists and silver earrings dangling from his ears.

‘You look so handsome,’ I whisper without even meaning to, and he grins. ‘Why, thank you, y/n. And you look so beautiful,’ he whispers back, sincerity in his voice. He’s changed so much in the past 24 hours. How could I have doubted his love for me, when it’s in his eyes every time he looks at me?

‘Thanks to your wife. The dress, the makeup, the hair, it was all her idea,’ I say, and he chuckles. ‘She’s not the one wearing it though,’ he says, and I laugh. My dress is floaty, strappy and sky-blue, the perfect summer bridesmaid dress, and blue flowers are woven into the braid that winds around my head, the rest of my hair falling in wavy sheets around my shoulders. And my makeup is soft and summery, faint blue eyes, glossy lips and shimmery cheekbones.

And then he starts singing along to the song, our feet still moving in a faultless waltz. I’m suddenly hyperaware of his hand on my lower back, too low, the other one clasped in mine, too tight, and we’re standing close, too close. But I don’t care to move, instead singing along too. And it’s as though he’s singing the lyrics to me, telling me I’m an angel, that he doesn’t deserve me, and that I look perfect. And I live in this little fantasy, in this world where we can love each other, hold each other, touch each other without all the guilt. In this world where he’s just a boy and I’m just a girl, and we’re just in love.

But then my eyes meet Jisoo’s across the dancefloor, and it takes me a moment to realise they’re full of tears. The second our eyes meet, she begins to walk towards us, and the fear of her knowing nearly paralyses me, and Jungkook can feel it, his body tensing as his eyes stay locked on my face. ‘Can I cut in?’ Jisoo’s voice comes from behind him, and he turns to see her there. ‘Yeah, of course,’ I say, and she lets out a gentle laugh. ‘I was talking to him. I want to dance with you,’ she says gently, and Jungkook feigns hurt, pretending to march off in a huff as both of us laugh, watching him join his friends by the bar.

She holds her arms up in position, and I do the same, beginning to waltz with my sister now. She always used to lead, being the oldest and all, and that hasn’t changed, the girl spinning us around the floor flawlessly. ‘I need to say something, and I want you to listen to everything before you speak,’ she says, my heart nearly stopping with the fear of being caught out, and I nod wordlessly, trying to focus on the fact that there’s still a small smile on her face.

‘I love you. Just as much as I love him. Meaning I know you both very well. I’ve known for a while that there’s a boy in your life, whether or not he’s a boyfriend or just dating or just a crush. But I’ve known. And I’ve known there was someone else in his life. And we were near the end of our relationship when I found out that I’m ill, y/n, and I’m not going to get better. Don’t, don’t cry, we’ll come back to that. I really thought I knew everything, I thought I was so clever. But I didn’t know that his someone else was you and your someone was him,’ she says, my entire body going cold, but the smile still doesn’t disappear from her face.

‘How long? How long have you loved him?’ she asks, and I sigh. ‘Ji…’ ‘How long, y/n?’ ‘Since a month before we met his family,’ I admit sadly, and her mouth falls open. ‘y/n… why didn’t you say anything? I thought you were going to say a couple years. Not that long,’ she says sadly, and I shrug with a smile. ‘You were happy. I couldn’t ruin that,’ I say, and she smiles, eyes full with tears. ‘Thank you, y/n, for letting me have my dream wedding with the love of your life,’ she says, and I shake my head. ‘He’s the love of your life, not mine,’ I say, and now she shakes her head, still smiling the sad smile that breaks my heart.

‘He’s the love of both of our lives. Because I’m not going to be around much longer,’ she says, but I shake my head again, angry this time. ‘No, Jisoo, don’t say that.’ ‘It’s true, y/n, and I’m not going to drag out my suffering. I’m lucky if I have two years. So, please, don’t care what anyone else thinks once I’m gone. Marry him, spend your life with him, love him, because I want you to make him happy, and I want him to make you happy, but neither of you can do that whilst I’m still here.’ ‘Jisoo, don’t say that!’ ‘y/n, it’s true, we both know it is. You’re the loves of each other’s lives, and I won’t be the bitch sister who stops you from being happy.’

‘Jisoo, let’s not have this conversation on your wedding day. Please, just be happy today,’ I say sadly, and she nods, a big smile breaking across her face. ‘Okay. Thank you for making my wedding amazing. I love you, y/n.’ And then my eyes meet Jungkook’s, and it’s like he knows, because for the first time since I can remember, his gaze doesn’t have any sadness or yearning in it. No. This time, it’s just love, and happiness, and I smile back at him, before turning my smile to my sister, my heart swelling with love. ‘I love you, too, Jisoo.’

[queenofallimagines]

heyy can you do a hc with denki,sero,shouto, and bakugo where their s/o (black ofc) is an Instagram model and live in america so it's a long distance relationship and all her fans wanna know who her boo is because she keeps hinting at it and then eventually when they vist their lil asian boo she goes on live with them..i hope that wasn't to specific lmao love youu

Okay but THIS was rly cute

Bakugou:

- oh nobody believes him LMAOO

- Everyone is like “you are dating an insta baddie? Okay sure”

- When they hear you say you’re dating a cutie from UA they are like maybe it could be true

- Deki will take the piss out of him BC you are his lockscreen

- “Awww are you a super fan?”

- “We are literally dating spark plug but go off”

- You text him telling him you got a surprise for him and chage the subject

- You announce on your twitter that your going to be in Japan for two weeks

- He doesn’t get this memo

- He’s concerned BC you didn’t respond to his good Morning text

- Maybe you were busy

- But rip BC that threw his whole day off

- He can and will pout fir 8 hours because you didn’t tell him good morning

- “Hey katsuki where are you right now?”

- “In my dorm why?”

- “I may be in Japan right now.”

- He jets out the door faster then iida

- Lmao when he sees you in person it’s breathtaking

- He runs to you and spins you around Disney money style

- “How??? When did you even make plans for this??”

- He’s so excited and it’s so cute🥺

- This was the surprise whole time

- Immediately takes you back to the dorms to meet his friends

- The whole class is shocked

- “Woah they’re actually real??”

- “OF COURSE THEY ARE SHITHEAD.”

- Usually deki would try and spit game but doesn’t BC I mean Bakugou looks like a kid on Christmas

- Gets you a visitors pass somehow??

- Wants you to come see his train during class

- Allmight will embarrass him

- Then you meet his parents oof

- His mom is so excited!

- “Woah my shithead son actually managed to get a s/o a really pretty one no less.”

- “SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG.”

- Baby pictures

- His dad is grateful that you maintain the beast that is his son

- His mom is surprised you’re so polite

- “Would you like to say for dinner?”

- “Would you like to stay forever?”

- Lmao his mom loves you

- Okay so boom the live

- When you go live it’s chaotic the first 5 mins

- All of class 1A is spamming the chat

- Your regulars are like??? Who are these loud ass kids

- “Remember how i said I was dating someone from ua?”

- Mina just spams heart emojis

- When Bakugou come son screen it’s over

- “HES THE GUY FROM THE SPORTS FESTIVAL!”

- “QUEEN ARE TOU SURE HES SO ANGRY.”

- “GOALS?👀”

- Q and A if you’re not afraid of him getting flustered

- “Anyway I love him so.”

- He’s red asf

- When you end the live he will cuddle you for the next three years

- You’re finally here and he’s not letting you go

Sero:

- perfect boyfriend

- Will always hype you up

- Commend on every pic like

- “That’s my baby!”

- You have a date in your bio with hearts and everyone is asking who

- You literally only reply with tape emojis

- He will add you to a group chat with the squad

- “This is my s/o so act respectfully.”

- “So you really dating rape face or what?”

- Lmao Bakugou pretends it’s a drag but you’re a delight to have

- You secretly plan a trip to Japan with their help

- When you just show up at the dorms he’s in tears

- The type to cry when he sees you

- “Wow my angel is here to take me to heaven.”

- Lmao the rest of the class is in awe BC you’re a whole model

- Mina and hagakure are the most hype

- The live is a mess

- Scream singing Rihana

- Throwing shade

- “This chad looking motherfucker always talking shit about our class.”

- “How you gon hate from outside the club?”

- It’s a good time tho

- He will use his quirk ass much as he can

- Wants to show off

- If m*neta even breathes he’s taped to the roof

- He will strategically keep you away from him

- Cute dates!

- He will let you put a fit together so you two can step out

- Everyone is just talking about how cute you are in the comments

- Lots of kisses and love

- He’s on cloud 9 for like the two weeks that you’re with him

- Super sad when you leave but it motivates him to train even harder to become a hero you’d be proud of.

Shoto:

- biiiitch

- We love this tho

- He’s super supportive and awkward

- Will leave cryptic comments on your selfies when you send them to him

- “You look amazing my dear I would love to see that outfit in person.”

- He has a whole secret password locked folder of things you send him

- Memes selfies nudes

- Will never let his dad know

- Like bro he’s actually really good at it

- So good his siblings don’t even know

- When you show up his dad is out of town for the day

- Introduces you to natsuo and fuyumi

- “YOURE DATING A MODEL????”

- “Yes.”

- He’s so chill and they’re asking you all types of questions lmao

- When you met

- How you met

- You’re so cute and sincere

- They approve

- Takes you to meet his mom

- You bro g her flowers

- She absolutely adores you

- She’s happy that someone treat her son good

- You’re accidentally in the hose when his dad gets home

- He went to go grab something from his room when his dad walks in in you in the kitchen

- “Who are you?”

- Before you can even roast his ass Shoto drags you out of the house

- Natsuo invited you over for dinner so you go

- You are two seconds from stabbing his ass up too

- “Who are you to my son?”

- “The love of his life, you?”

- Shoto is Lowkey sweating bullets nervous

- But his sibling are trying not to laugh every time you talk to endeavor

- They definitely approve

- You are just giving sly remarks the entire time

- Somehow he managed to catch you alone

- How this goes is up to you

- He could be nice if you want to redeem him

- “Please take care of him.”

- “I already am.”

- Or if he’s an ass you can fight him right there

- “You will only hold him back. Stay away from my son.”

- “I will take care of him.I’ll do better than you did.”

- Oop

- When you kiss him on the live he will have to excuse himself BC he’s embarrassed but also rly happy lmao

- Iida will probably lecture you about some nonsense idk man that’s just how he is

Kaminari:

- okay so same as Bakugou they won’t believe you or him

- Like you could say that but they will think he paid you

- Mina is the only one who believes him BC of the Lightning bolt in your bio

- “You really dating a model and I’m not? Whack”

- When you come done he’s hyped tf up

- “AYYYY MY S/O IS HERE.”

- They are surprised you’re less chaotic than he is

- They are also surprised that you’re real lmao

- He will take you out with the bakusquad and cause trouble

- You and Bakugou are gunna get an aneurism

- He’s super siked to hold your hand

- He’s cheesing all day

- Will ask for like 20 kisses every second

- “Gotta make sure you love me.”

- Ard clown

- But he’s excited for the live and it’s worse than Bakugous

- It’s supposed to be tAme but somehow quirks get involved

- And he’s jammed out and mina is laughing Bakugou is screaming sero is recording and you and kirishima are tryna take care of the fool🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️

- It’s just a lot lmao

- He’s very happy they you are here

[yikesharringrove]

I both really want to read a conversion camp fic and really fucking DONT lol but I trust you to do it well and not absolutely destroy us so... I am asking for you to write the conversion camp fic please.

Oh, my plan is to absolutely destroy you all with this one.

This is modern bc it wasn’t gonna be but then I wrote a part and it kinda had to be lol

TW: religion, homophobia, transphobia (nd Steve), conversion camp, anxiety, depression, physical abuse, the word r*pe is thrown around, suicidal ideations, basically, it’s a DOOZY

Seriously, this shit gets DARK. I have A LOT of untapped emotions.

But it has a happy ending, don’t worry

-

Steve’s hands were shaking as they dug through his bag.

They had already pulled out the eyeshadow palette he had tried to sneak in, needed something to make himself feel okay in this inevitable Hell.

“Did you receive our guidelines?” They had found the lipstick he had shoved in one of his shoes. “We specifically outlined prohibited items.” He took a shaky breath. “Your perversion is much deeper than anticipated, Mr. Harrington.” He just nodded.

He was shuffled about, led to a cold blank room.

His first meeting with a conversion specialist.

“What is your infatuation with women’s things?” The man’s voice made Steve feel like there was cold water dripping down his back.

“I just like pretty things.”

“Why do you deny your manhood?”

“I don’t.”

“You say that, but you do. Every time you pretend you’re a woman-”

“I don’t pretend I’m a woman. I just like makeup and stuff.” He gave Steve a disgusted look.

“By denying your true self, you have turned your back on God. You have allowed the devil to infiltrate your soul, to convince you that these perversions are okay.” He looked down at the paper in his lap, the forms Steve had been forced to sit and fill out with his parents. “You were not close with your father, were you?”

“Um, no. Not really.”

“So you pushed away your male role model?”

“He pushed me away, more like.” The man pursed his lips.

“A father does not push away his son unless there is something evil within him. A father can always tell when there is something wrong, something disgusting in his offspring.” He stood up, towering over Steve.

“You are disgusting, Steven Harrington. You are perverse and foul. You turn your back on your Creator. But you are not without a savior. You can be saved. Denounce the devil that tempts you to this life. Follow your savior, and He will lead you to safety.” He held out his hand. Steve took a breath, and shook it.

-

Steve’s first day was a fucking nightmare.

He was led to his room, a small room with two bunked beds and no doors. He was told he’d have three roommates, and if they were caught touching one another, the punishment would be painful.

And then it was group therapy.

He sat in a circle with ten of the other boys from the program. They were forced to discuss every attraction they had ever felt to anyone besides women. They were forced to discuss sexual encounters they had had with men, and call themselves disgusting.

And as it was Steve’s turn, and he talked about wearing panties, and fingering himself, and sucking Tommy’s dick, and he felt disgusting.

At dinner he met one of his roommates, and his heart sank.

“Where’d they scrape you up?” The guy was fucking gorgeous.

“Indiana.”

“And you just a homo? Or...?” The guy’s voice trailed off as he looked Steve up and down. “You one a’ them crossdressers, too?” Steve flushed deeply.

“How, how did you know?”

“Because you look like they got to you already. Means they got something on you. Make you feel real bad about yourself.”

“How, how long have you been here?”

“Long enough. Seen plenty a’ boys come and go. Some cured, some just a lost cause.” He was so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Why, why so long?” He grinned at Steve, sharp and beautiful.

“Because I’m immune, Pretty Boy.” Steve’s breath hitched. The guy licked over his teeth. “Can’t beat the gay outta me if they tried. And they fuckin’ have.”

“But why, why don’t you want to change? I mean, they’re, they’re right.” His blue eyes went cold.

“They got you deep. Damn, you might be the quickest turn around I’ve ever seen.”

“I just, I don’t want to be wrong anymore.” He leaned closer to Steve.

“You have never been wrong.” Steve felt like he was gonna cry.

A firm hand clapped down on Steve’s shoulder.

“William, I hope you’re treating our new guest nicely.” William’s face fell immediately.

“Yes, Father.” Steve looked up to see a priest holding onto him. His hair was greying and neat. His eyes were cold and dead.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Steven with me.” Steve followed him, eyes downcast, all the way to his office. “Steven, my name is Father Andrew. I’m here to help you.” Steve didn’t like his smile. “We’re going to meet everyday at 8:30 pm for your therapy.”

He pulled out a folder from the bottom drawer of his desk. He placed a photograph in front of Steve with a flourish.

It was porn.

It was fucking gay porn.

He stood in front of Steve, leaning against the desk, off to the side of the image.

“Tell me what you see here.” One of the men had dark hair. He was being taken from behind by the other man, his blond hair and bright eyes stirred something in Steve.

“Two men. Having sex.”

He didn’t see Father Andrew’s hand, just heard the crack of it against his cheek.

His eyes watered, his cheek burned.

“What do you see?”

“Two perverts.”

“What are they doing?”

“Defiling one another.”

“Good, Steven. You’re learning.”

He placed another photograph down. This time, the man being fucked had a full face of makeup, tears making the dark eyeliner run as he was on his back, hands cuffed to the bed. The man fucking him was smirking at the camera, tongue between his teeth.

“How does this make you feel?”

“Disgusted.”

“Why?”

“That they, they would touch each other like that.”

“Do you have fantasies like this? Of being tied up by another man? Raped by another man?”

And the answer, the answer was technically yes. He had plenty of fantasies of being tied up, taken rough, taken dirty.

But rape. That’s a strong fucking word.

“No, Father.” Another crack. Another slap.

“Lying is a sin, Steven.”

“I, I don’t want to be, to be raped.” Another slap.

“Lying is a sin, Steven.”

“Yes, yes Father. I have had fantasies.”

“These are not fantasies, these are perversions planted in your mind by demons, by the devil trying to pull you away from Christ our Lord. Do not let these demons lead you astray.”

He pulled out another picture.

Steve’s heart fucking stopped.

It was a picture of himself. A nude he had taken for Tommy.

He was wearing pretty lingerie, pouting to the camera. He remembers taking it, remembers putting on his makeup, posing over and over until he took one he liked. They must’ve gone through his phone, through his texts.

“Why do you dress like a woman?”

“Be-because I’m disgusting.” And the thing is, Steve had been told plenty of times that day that he’s disgusting, and he had begun to believe it.

“Good, Steven. You are disgusting. Do you believe you’re a woman?”

“No, Father.”

“Then why have you been experimenting with women’s things?”

“I believed I wasn’t a man.”

“And are you a man?”

“Yes, Father.”

“God made you a man.”

“Yes, Father.” Steve still didn’t like his smile.

He switched the image.

And it was another one of his nudes. This time he was in a skirt, kneeling with his back to the mirror, one hand spreading his cheeks, showing off the silver plug in his ass.

He even remembers the text he had sent with it.

Tommy had been studying for a test, so Steve sent that picture and said but im lonely :( and Tommy had replied I’ll be there in twenty.

“Why do you have an obsession with your anus?” Steve could feel the blood drain from his face.

“I, uh, it feels good.” Another slap.

“How does spitting in the face of your Heavenly Father feel good, Steven? Sodomy does not feel good.” Another slap. Steve’s face felt like it was on fire.

“I’m sorry, Father. I am vile, and disgusting.” Steve was sobbing, felt so fucking pathetic, trying to look anywhere but the printed image of himself.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. I expect you here tomorrow after dinner.”

Steve fucking ran back to his room.

The other boys were asleep. He climbed into the top bunk, curling into himself.

He felt disgusting, he felt foul and wrong and bad.

He tried to stifle his sobs into his pillow, the scratchy case muffling his panic attack.

“Hey, Stevie.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet.” There was a sigh, breath fanning over his face.

And then the boy from earlier was swinging himself into bed with him, curling against him.

“They said-”

“I know exactly what times they patrol. I’ll leave your bed before then.” He sighed. “First night’s always the hardest. You just gotta get through. Tell them what they wanna hear, but remember that they’re fucking wrong. You are valid, and real. Being gay is not disgusting.”

Steve curled into him, letting himself be comforted.

“Thank you. Thank you, William.”

“Oh, Christ. Call me Billy.”

“Thank you, Billy.”

-

As time passed, it was easy to retreat into himself.

He met with Father Andrew every night, got slapped and hit when his answers weren’t condemning enough.

But each night, Billy would crawl into bed with him, would hold him when he broke down.

The kiss was inevitable.

It happened after Steve had an extreme day, the beating he received when he had admitted to being nonbinary, that he had asked his friends at home to use other pronouns.

And Billy had said you’re perfect the way you are, Sweet Thing.

And Steve kissed him.

And Steve wanted to die.

-

“Forgive me, Father. For I have sinned.” Steve took a shaking breath.

He was kneeling in the small confessional.

They had Mass every three days, and confession each Friday.

“It has been one week since my last confession.” He took a deep breath. He needed to get this of his chest, needed to get the punishment he deserved. “Father, I, the feelings have not gone away. There is, there’s a boy, and I, I love him. And I try not to. I try not to look at him, to remember the devil is leading me astray. But Father, I think about him. I think about him often.”

“This is an extremely grievous sin, my son.”

“I know, Father. Please help me. I want to, I want to be pure. To be free of this sin, this temptation.”

“I offer, as penance for your sins, to pray a rosary for each time you have had an evil thought about your fellow man this week. As you ponder the Mysteries of the rosary, consider how God created you, how Jesus died for you, and you wipe your feet on their love.”

“Yes, Father.”

“And our meeting will be arduous tonight, Steven.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Now please, recite the Act of Contrition.”

Steve’s hands shook as he recited the prayer, finishing his confession with Father Andrew.

-

“Now, Steven. You discussed having impure thoughts today.”

Steve’s knees ached from praying the rosary so many times earlier today. He hadn’t eaten, had gone straight to the Chapel after his confession.

He wanted to pray, to cleanse himself.

And he didn’t want to risk seeing Billy.

“Yes, Father.”

“And you mentioned that you love another boy.”

“The devil is trying to make me think it’s love.” Father Andrew smiled his empty smile down at Steve.

“That’s right Steven. Because love cannot exist between two men. Love is a beautiful thing created and given to us by The Lord God.” Father Andrew leaned over Steve, made him shrink back in his seat. “Which is why you are unlovable as you are. You are foul and vile. You may be loved if you change.”

He grabbed Steve’s hair, holding his head still as he slapped his face.

And Steve let him.

He was foul, he was vile.

He deserved the pain.

-

Two months.

That’s how long it took Steve to “graduate”.

He left the facility in clean khakis, a nice sweater his mother had sent him to wear home.

Billy had left a week and a half prior.

He was deemed a lost cause.

Steve’s mother was there to pick him up, hugged him tight and told him how happy she was that he was fixed.

He was quiet as they drove, watching the shadows the summer sun cast on the side of the plain flat road.

“Your father will be pleased. You’ve made such wonderful progress. Free of all those delusions.”

They passed Tommy’s house.

He felt sick.

-

The first thing Steve did when he got home was destroy all his make up.

He took everything feminine from it’s hiding spot in the back of his closet.

He scraped out the eye shadow, smeared the lipstick all over his dresses.

He cut up his lingerie, shoved everything into a black garbage back, driving into town to toss it in the dumpster behind the gas station.

He wanted it away, he wanted it gone. He wanted to be pure.

-

His hands shook as he zipped up the suitcase.

He didn’t have much in there, was planning on taking enough to get him through a little while, then maybe buying some things, some pretty things.

His parents were asleep downstairs, he was planning on being long gone by the time they woke up.

He put on his backpack, taking his wallet and tiptoeing down the stairs, his shoes in his hand.

He had a plan, would drive to the bus station, leave his car there.

Someone will find it, and at that point, he’ll be long gone.

He bought a bus ticket to Chicago, paid in cash and gave a fake name.

He was fucking out of here.

They were fucking out of here.

-

“As I live, and fucking breathe.”

Steve startled as a hand came down on their shoulder.

They startled again when they turned around, came face to face with a ghost from the past.

“B-Billy?” Billy’s hair was longer than it had been at the camp. His smile was lazier, his eyes brighter. Steve’s gut gave an excited little flutter as he looked them up and down.

“You look fuckin’ gorgeous, Pretty Boy.” Steve flushed, adjusting their dress. It was new.

It had been three years since the camp. One year of Steve living in pain, until they packed their shit, and moved to the Golden Coast. They left in the middle of the fucking night, ran away like a scared child, never looking back.

And here was the love of their goddamn life, in some hole in the wall coffee shop in San Fransisco.

“It’s uh, it’s not Pretty Boy, anymore.” Billy’s grin got even wider.

“Thank fuck.” He swung himself into the seat across from Steve’s, upsetting some of the papers they were working on.

“What happened to you, Billy?” Billy’s smiled slipped, just a little.

“My dad was tired a’ paying for that joint if I wasn’t getting better. So he said if I wasn’t fixed in like, a month, he would stop paying, and I would be kicked out. Stayed true to his word. Haven’t seen the bastard since.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Getting kicked outta that place is the best fuckin’ thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I graduated. Went through the whole thing. Took me a year to realize how fucked up it was.”

“Jesus. They got you deep.” Steve shrugged.

“I’m okay now.”

“Yeah? What’re you doin’?”

“Goin’ to school. Gonna be a counselor. Hopefully work in an elementary school, or something.” Billy’s eyes were bright.

“That’s amazing. Gonna tell all the little queer kids that they’re valid and all that?”

“That’s the goal.” Billy grinned. “What are you doing now? You with anyone?”

“I own a bar, actually. Kind of a dive, but it’s a good time.” He looked at Steve through his lashes. “You should come by, sometime. Be good to see you.”

“I’d like to see you too.”

“And to answer your question, I’m not with anyone. Not right now.” He smirked. “But I could be.” He leaned over the table, drawing one finger down Steve’s hand. “I like seeing you happy. Feel like I only ever saw you cryin’ in that joint.”

“Well, spent a lot of time crying there.”

“For good reason.” Billy took their hand. “It’s really good to see you.”

“Y’know I told Father Andrew I was in love with you. Got beat black and fuckin’ blue for it.” Billy’s face was grave.

“Why’d you do that?”

“Wanted to be fixed. Took me a year to realize I didn’t need that.”

“You stop lovin’ me in that year?”

“Not even in the two after that.” Billy took a shaking breath.

“You know, I uh, I love you too. Always did. It broke my fucking heart to leave you in that place. Was gonna wake you up that night, get you to run away with me. But they took me out, uh, forcibly.”

“Bet you put up a real good fight.”

“Broke Father Ryan’s nose.” Steve let out a burst of laughter, clapping one hand over their mouth.

“I was wondering about that. He had a splint for like, a month.”

“Yeah, well, bastard kept tryin’ to exorcise me. Headbutted him right in the face.”

“Good for you, Bill. Sometimes I wish I could light the whole place on fire.”

“Me too.” Billy took their hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I gotta head, but I wanna see you. Soon. Later today, if you can.”

“Yeah, uh, I’m just doing some homework, but I could stop by the bar tonight? I don’t have shit to do tomorrow.”

“Lemme pick you up. We can go to dinner before I take you to the bar.” They smiled softly at him.

“I’d like that.”

[what-kinda-fuckery]

Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!

- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.

Christian: Oh alright!

Host: nO Christian not you

- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.

- Brandon is with his parents in NJ

- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other

- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right

- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?

Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)

- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!

- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.

- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT

they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin

- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV

Andrew: I’m watching this is America

Stephanie: SO GOOD

Andrew: SO GOOD

- Everyone’s having hard days

- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up

- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD

Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!

Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.

Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!

- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television

HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM

Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute

Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY

Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.

- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice

Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin

- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.

Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus

- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.

Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)

HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY

HE SAID IT WASNT A THING

HE DIDNT HAVE ONE

Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened

Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)

- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”

Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina

Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA

- Tracie what did you do during act 1

Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half

Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE

- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there

- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways

Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look

Everyone dies laughing

Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY

- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨

Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)

- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”

- Betsy comes back and everyone is like

YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!

- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal

- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top

Betsy: I would give anything to have that

- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together

Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral

Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH

- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?

Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped

Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them

Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around

Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou

Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son

Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*

Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH

Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU

Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly

Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER

Oh Anthony.

- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.

Christian: SLOWER

Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”

EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME

Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story

- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:

Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???

Christian: No no it was something like:

WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??

Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???

Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show

- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness

Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do

- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason

Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it

Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity

Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news

Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast

- Tracie always had a funny thing to say

- Who broke character the most on stage?

Anthony Stephanie and Christian

Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional

Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry

- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”

- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down

And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger

- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening

And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING

Tracie: Christians throwing up right now

Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON

- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth

Christian: Practice practice practice

Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen

Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from

That’s why

- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic

Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*

- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special

FLaT aS a LaKe

- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds

Christian: what? what? what?

Who is it?

What’s going on?

- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be

Anthony said Mendel

Tracie said Mendel

Brandon said Trina

Andrew said marvin

Betsy said whizzer

Stephanie said Mendel

And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops

- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?

Christian: Greaat.

Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it

Everyone: WHAT

- They still get fan art

Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS

- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre

- Christian talking about little shop

Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it

- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference

Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible

- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill

- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)

Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes

- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??

Proceed everyone dying

Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning

- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through

- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*

Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about

Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??

Christian: We have a lot of fun

- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me

- Christians pretending to be frozen

Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE

NO CHRISTIAN

Everyone accusing each other of being frozen

NO YOURE FROZEN

- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen

Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen

Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me

- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together

Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???

Christian: That’s a question only you can answer

- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT

Christian: that scared the shit out of me

- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work

Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?

- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no

Betsy: I’m right here!!!

Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)

Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling

- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.

Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story

Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY

- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve

Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre

- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.

Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?

Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS

Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner

Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD

Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up

- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later

- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”

Tracie having stage fright

Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away

- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once

Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed

- Steph: We lost andrew oh no

Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing

- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful

- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays

That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

My Family, My Home

Summary: Harry and Reader find themselves in a particularly nasty fight after the death of Sirius Black. Will they be able to mend what they broke?

TW/CW: Harry Potter x Reader. Angst, angst, angst. Mentions of death. Depressing. Yeah.

Requested?: Yes, by a lovely Anon who said, “Hi i read your last harry imagine and i am in love with it. I was wondering if you can write another for me? Where harry and reader are dating around when sirius died in order of the phoenix and harry is very depressed about the situation and slowly disassociates from the reader and when he/she wanted to talk about it and lighten the weight on his shoulders harry says sth to reader along the lines "you are not my family and you are not my home" and a big fight happens eventually harry realizes what he has done and gets very upset bc he loves her/him so much. They eventually make up but i want angst drama and tears you know lol i will be very happy if you can write this!!”

Word Count: 1,448

A/N: I tried my best to convey angst lol. It came out better than I thought it would though. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and as always Requests are Open!

[This gif hurts me probably as much as it hurts you lol but I wanna use it anyway]

Your POV

     I wander into the Gryffindor common room in hopes of finding my boyfriend, Harry. He's been distant as of late, no one can really blame him though. Between You-Know-Who and the death of his godfather, he has a lot on his plate. What worries me most is he’s even begun distancing himself from me. Of all people, I had hoped he wouldn’t shut me out but here we are. The common room is full of quiet chatter and thick tension but no Harry in sight.

     Ron, however, is currently locked in a game of Wizard’s Chess with Dean Thomas so I take a seat beside him in hopes of grabbing his attention but not interrupting his game. Hermione speaks up from behind her book, “Ron’ll probably be a while,” putting her book down she notices my look of concern, “in the meantime, maybe I can help?”

     “I was just wondering if either of you had seen Harry. He avoided me all during classes again today,” I ask.

     “He’s been skirting us too, probably just needs some time to adjust,” Ron mumbles absentmindedly. Hermione and I give each other a look that says we know that’s not the case. I decide to look elsewhere as Hermione goes back to her book. I make my way up the staircase leading to the boys’ dormitories and stop when I reach the one Harry and Ron stay in. I knock softly on the door but am met with silence. I knock again a little louder just in case and this time the door swings open viciously.  

     Harry stands before me bleary eyed and extremely annoyed, “What do you want?”

     Shocked at his attitude, I try my luck at calming him down, “Woah, love, calm down it’s just me. Maybe you can let me in and we can talk or perhaps I can just be there for you to lean on?”

     “Yes, I have eyes, I can see that it’s you. No, I don’t want to be bothered right now, go away,” with this he tries to shut the door in my face but I step into the room before he can.

     “Harry, I can help you, just tell me what you need.”

     “I don’t want or need your help, (Y/N). You’re not my family and you’re not my home,” with this he opens the door again, shoves me out, and then slams it behind me. Bursting into tears, I run down the stairs and out of the portrait hole, ignoring all the various looks I get as well as Ron and Hermione calling after me. I run straight to my favorite spot on the grounds. Malfoy thinks he found this tree first and claimed it but I always climb higher up into it and from the ground no one can see me.  

     As I recall the stinging words from moments before, I don’t understand why Harry would even say that. He’s always told me that when he’s with me he feels at home. My heart begins to ache as I attempt to shove all the heart wrenching thoughts from my mind but they are coming faster than I can battle them and eventually I am overcome by them as I sit by myself in a lone tree and cry my eyes out.

Harry’s POV

     I stalk back to my bed and crash down onto it once more. Seconds later, footsteps sound outside the dorm room door and as Ron barges in, I pretend to be asleep. He doesn’t fall for it though, and instead drags me out of bed and slams me into the wall, “What in the bloody hell are you thinking, mate? I don’t know what you said to them but they ran out in tears. You better have a damn good reason for hurting them or I’m going to rip you a new one.”

     “I don't have to give you any reason. I don’t want your help either, so sod off and leave me alone,” I spit.

     This time it isn’t Ron that assaults me but Hermione. My cheek stings from the sharp slap across my face. “I don’t what has gotten into Harry James Potter but I think it’s high time you stop with the pity party and let those who love you help you.”

     Ron stares at Hermione in awe, “You didn’t have to slap him, ‘Mione.”

     “Maybe not, but maybe it’ll knock some sense into him. When you’re ready, you’ll know where to find us. Now come on, Ron. (Y/N) needs us.”

     They leave me in stunned silence. I think Hermione was right, she did knock some sense into me because now I realize the hurt that I’ve caused by trying to push everyone away. I thought it was for their own good but I was obviously wrong. Now, I’ve gone and messed up with the person I’m in love with all because of my own pride. I sit on the edge of the bed and begin trying to come up with a way to apologize and smooth things over.

Your POV

     “(Y/N)?” I hear from below as Ron and Hermione come looking for me. I wipe any remnants of the tears shed from off my face with my sleeve before slowly dropping to the ground. As soon as they spot me, they rush forward and both wrap me in a hug.  

     “I’m sorry he’s being a manky old git," Ron grumbles.

     “Are you alright, hon? Do you want to talk about it?” Hermione asks. I shrug but begin telling them about mine and Harry’s fight. If looks could kill, Ron would’ve surely killed the poor tree behind us as he looked as if he was trying to bore holes into its bark. Hermione also look absolutely miffed but pulled me in for another hug, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” At that moment, the him in question walks out of the castle, heading our direction.

     He approaches cautiously due to the murderous look on Ron’s face but Hermione grabs Ron by the arm and pulls him away, “Let’s give them space.” They stop just out of earshot and wait patiently in case I need them, and Hermione begins trying to calm Ron down.

     Harry looks at the ground and scuffs his shoe against the pebbles, “I know I really have no right to ask for forgiveness but I thought I’d apologize anyway.” He pauses to collect his thoughts before making eye contact with me, “I’m so sorry for the things I said. There is no excusing them and I know they hurt you. I just thought that if I shoved everyone away then maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a burden. I got so caught up in trying to do what I thought was best that I failed to realize I was hurting the people who mean the most to me more than if I had just let help me carry the weight. Like I said, I know I don’t deserve it, but can you forgive me?”

     I rush forward, “Of course, Harry, I forgive you. You’re not a burden to us. We love you and we want to help. Your feelings are valid, however, and I’m always willing to listen if you need to vent. I’m willing to bet that Hermione and Ron would be willing as well if you apologize to them too.”

     He looks over his shoulder at them and chuckles at finding them bickering over something. I laugh, “I swear those two will be married one day. If they aren’t, I’ll be severely disappointed.” Harry laughs as he beckons them over.

     As they approach Hermione places herself between Ron and Harry, I suppose in case Ron decides to hit Harry. He doesn’t though and he just stands there scowling. Harry clears his throat, “I haven’t been fair to you two either. Can you forgive me for how I’ve acted?”

     Hermione glances over to me and seems to scan my face and I nod with a small smile. Seemingly satisfied, she nods as well, “Of course, Harry. I’m sorry for slapping you.”

     Harry laughs, “It’s all right. I needed it to knock some sense into me.”

     The three of us look to Ron. He seems to think long and hard about the situation before finally coming to a conclusion, “Alright, I forgive you but you know they’re like a sibling to me and if you hurt them again it won’t be Hermione hitting you it’ll be me.”

     Harry chuckles, “Understood. Let’s go back to the common room and talk though, it’s too cold out here.” We all nod in agreement and make our way back into the castle.

Masterlist

[donkey-hyuck]

Bus Ride Away

^^ song based off of Bryce Xavier

A/N- the lyrics are italicized, whether they are dialogue or included into the story separately. And in no way is this story based on the title (sorry) just based off of the lyrics and meaning. A lot of cursing! Lots of time skips

Word count- 6.9k

Genre- angst/ some fluff/ post breakup! Au/ college! Au (almost half of the story)

Characters/pairing- jung jaehyun X Fem! Reader (not really bc they don’t get back together, sorry if that’s not what you wanted but it’s my story lol😝)/ Johnny Seo/ mentions Mark and Taeyong/ original characters (Byeol, Hina)/ extras that aren’t prominent to the story.

Introducing- after three long years of loving him, your love died out. Jung Jaehyun had been your high school sweetheart and you wouldn’t have it any other way. From junior year in high school to your freshman year in university, you gave each other your all. After ending it on good terms, you moved on easily. While your ex lover had less luck with falling out of love with you. Years had passed by and Jung Jaehyun still had so much love for you, and when you received an email from “an old friend” you definitely weren’t expecting it to be him.

The lyrics of the song that are mentioned are NOT in order of how the song goes.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Falling in love with Jung Jaehyun at sixteen was all you could ever ask for. He was the star athlete during all seasons, he had high marks when it came to academics, he was a part of the dance club, and he sang so well when auditioning for plays that the school held, getting the lead role almost instantly.

Falling in love with you at sixteen was all Jaehyun could ever ask for. You were a part of the tutoring service at school, captain of the girls volleyball team, head of the theatrics, a part of the student council, and was the lead singer during choir.

The two of you were the idol couple. Of course people were jealous of one or the other. Hell, students from across town admired the two of you. As a couple, you and Jaehyun had been a part of so much during school and extracurricular activities, helping students, teachers, and the community. There was just so much cheer whenever you two were around. And you remained as a couple through senior year graduation, making people think the two of you would last forever, for sure.

But somewhere during the first semester of your freshman year in university, your love for Jung Jaehyun had slowly dialed down. Too caught up in your music- theory and composition major and communications major, you had realized you didn’t have enough time for Jaehyun. The two majors you were enrolled in were quite opposite therefore, meaning that you didn’t have enough time to share with Jaehyun. It was upsetting because you loved the man so much, but you wanted to have a good job, and you wanted him to excel at life. Being in a relationship was something you had never seen in your life, always thinking it was a bit of a burden. So when Jung Jaehyun had asked you out, it took some time to respond and reciprocate his feelings. And when you agreed to go out with Jaehyun, he treated you like a small chinese porcelain doll. You meant everything to him.

“Can you meet me at the lake near campus? I need to tell you something.” It was so nerve wracking as your fingers moved across the keyboard on the screen. Contemplating on sending it, you acquired that it was bound to happen at some point. And now was that time. Walking toward the small lake you and Jaehyun would meet when you needed to relieve your stress, shivers had crawled down your spine and through your whole body.

“Hey, what did you want to talk about?” Asked Jaehyun from the little arched bridge. Nervousness filled you up again, you were not expecting him to be there first. You had wanted to reach the lake first in hopes you could practice, for the nth time, what you were going to say.

“Jaehyun…” you exhaled the breath you held in. “I didn’t know how to say this and I practiced saying this for a while. Just know that this is for the best and I love you so much.... But, I think we should call it off. University is getting to my head and I don’t want to cause any pain to you when seeing me stressed out about my life. I want the best for you and that’s not with me anymore. I’m incredibly sorry and I love you more than words can explain. You showed me what the statement high school sweethearts meant. I’m so appreciative of having someone like you in my life. You taught me how to live, you taught me how to be brave, you taught me how to love. But we have to move on now, our lives will only get more complicated from here. And from the bottom of my heart, I’ll always love you endlessly.” It was quiet for some time before Jaehyun looked up and smiled a bittersweet smile, with tears rimming his almond eyes you were sure you were going to miss. “I don’t want to, but I agree. This is for the best of us and I know that’s all you want for me. It’s sad, I definitely wasn’t expecting this when you asked to meet. But I know your feelings are genuine and I don’t want to keep you from achieving your dream. I’ll love you endlessly and when you release music, I’ll be your number one fan.” Tears dripped down his face as you both chuckled. Lifting your hand and wiping the tears you’d barely seen after three years, tears filled your eyes too. “Don’t cry, or else you’ll make me cry,” you whined and he laughed, resting his hand on yours that lied on his cheek. “I’ll love you until the end of time.” He closed his eyes, “I think you should go now, it’s getting pretty late. And I know you have work to do. We‘ll stay as friends, yeah?” Nodding. “Of course we will.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Four years. It had been four years since your breakup with Jung Jaehyun. It was funny, remembering to stay friends, but that never happened. While looking forward to seeing your new, old, friend it seemed that he didn’t want to be linked with you, which was weird since he was the one to suggest it. But you couldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see you again, you broke the guys heart. Moving on from Jung Jaehyun was easier than you had initially thought, considering he was your first true love, you’d taken the breakup better than you believed you would, and didn’t think much past that.

It was the night of your graduation. Your friends had begged you to attend the party since you’re no longer going to be in school, unless you wanted an associates or master’s degree. “Come on Y/N! You’ve been so cooped up in your apartment all these years. We’ve graduated and now we can get our lives situated,” said Byeol. “Ooh, okay! Fine… But I’m not drinking. And if anything happens I’m getting my ass out of that frat house.” Hina and Byeol screeched in joy. “Thank you! We love you so much.”

Arriving at Yuta’s apartment complex, Hina and Byeol practically dragged you to the roof, where the party was happening. Opening the door, people who attended your university greeted your popular and outgoing friends. “Y/N! I’m glad you could make it! Finally you’re out of your apartment for some fun!” Said Yuta— a Japanese transferee— with the iconic red plastic cup in his hand. Looking around you noticed Jaehyun, he was standing less than ten feet away and was chatting with Johnny Seo— tallest member of the basketball team and fellow communications peer. Surprisingly, when looking at your ex-lover, you had felt nothing but happiness for him. You were happy he moved on. And while at the event, guys had instantly approached you, aghast to see you leave your apartment at night, to attend a frat party.

Jealousy was the word to express what Jung Jaehyun was feeling. Seeing the attention towards you, Jaehyun was surprised to see you there. But overall, he was jealous. It wasn't your intention, gosh you hated to make people feel jealous, he knew you felt that way, but people were just dismayed to see you at a party. “Hey, Jae? What’s wrong?”

When you’re with your friends you try to pretend that you moved on but you can’t.

After your breakup, Jaehyun went straight to Johnny’s apartment and spit out everything that had happened. He was upset and sad at first, but claimed to say he was doing fine without you. After a while, Jaehyun did a pretty good job in telling Johnny he was over you. Either that or Johnny Seo was just too damn gullible.

Looking back to you, he saw you were the same person you were four years ago. It was insane that he still had so many feelings for you after all these years. He just didn’t have the guts to approach you. He was a coward after asking to be friends and flat out ignoring you; how selfish of him. He knew you didn’t want him hurting and dwelling on his feelings. If only you knew how much Jung Jaehyun missed you, but you would��� probably— never know.

Approaching you, the cup in Jaehyun’s hand had been slightly quivering as his legs had a mind of its own. “Jae, long time no see.” he smiled, “Yeah…” , “So, how have you been these years? We haven’t seen each other in a while.” Seeing you smiling and not hurt almost healed Jaehyun’s single heart, only to have it crushed again once he realized you were no longer together, you hadn’t been together since 2013. “I’ve been okay. Academics are a pain in the ass but I get help from my friends here and there. What about you? How’ve you been?” , “I’ve been doing the same. You know, same old, same old. Picked up painting again, so I’ve been painting in my apartment to get rid of my stress.” Jaehyun remembered when he bought you a canvas and paint brushes, somehow forgetting the paint. But he loved to see you paint, the creativity from your mind flowing to the white canvas. Fuck, he missed it all.

“Y/N! I have someone I want you to meet!” Shouted yuta from the other side of the roof. “Sorry, duty calls,” you laughed, “Uh, it was good seeing you safe and happy. Maybe we can hang out, you know, as friends one day, only if you’d like.” , “I would like that, yes. And it was great seeing you too Y/N.” He always loved the sound of your laugh, it brought him so much joy. He always tried to make you laugh, but now he was only making things feel awkward because he was a douche that continuously ignored you.

The night was only eleven but Hina and Byeol were sensibly intoxicated by all the alcohol. “You got them Y/N?”, “Yeah, bye guys.” Throwing them in the car, you walked to the driver's seat and started to drive to your apartment which was, thankfully, not far from Yuta’s apartment. “Hey, Y/N…. you know… Hina and I…. Hina and I…. We were talking to the jackass that ignored you….. and you know what he said…? The idiot said he misses you, and still loves you!.... what a joke,” their words were slurred but you hit the brakes anyway. “What? Why would he say that?” The girls were unable to answer since they were just knocked out cold. “He still loves me?”

You would have been lying if you said you were still in love with Jung Jaehyun. You loved him, just not in the way you used to. You just loved him as a friend now, and only wished for the best, without you. Your feelings were easily sidetracked because of school and didn’t think much about your feelings towards him. Though, it was clear to you now that Jung Jaehyun had never got rid of his love for you; his romantic feelings.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

After Jaehyun talked to his first love, his feelings had been exploding out of his chest. He was overjoyed to see you doing fine, picking up old hobbies the two of you shared. Painting. Maybe he should pick up painting too, just to try to connect to you once more. But he knew it would only make his feelings get stronger, if that was even possible.

Oh it’s sad to love someone so much who you know doesn’t care enough.

Jaehyun knew you still cared about him. You could never not care about him. However, he knew you cared for him like a close friend, maybe not even close. Even so, it made him think that there could be a chance. There could be a possibility for the two of you to get back together again.

“You idiot! You lied to me after all these years?! How could you lie to me like that?” Yelled Johnny when Jaehyun confessed his true feelings about you. “I thought I was going to get over her, but I just can’t! We gave each other our all and loved each other infinitely, but we broke it off. It was mutual, but I tried to convince myself that I would feel the same as her. Shocker! I didn’t, and holy shit do I love her so much. But I’m a prissy loser that can’t and won’t do anything to confuse her, hurt her, upset her, or disappoint her. Believe me, I tried, I really did. But everything I did never worked out and I’m stuck with a one sided love.” Grumbled Jaehyun, downing the rest of the spiked liquid and harshly placing the cup onto the table. “You are….” started Johnny. “This is all on you…. It’s your decision what to do with everything going on. I’ll be here for moral support and advice to give but everything you end up doing is all decided by you.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Reader

Hina and Byeol woke up late the following morning. “Eat up while it’s still hot! Some drunk remedies for you alcoholics,” you joked, placing the bowl of soup in front of your friends. “Ugh I had the most horrible dream. I dreamt that we talked to that jerk-face Jaehyun and he revealed that he still loved you. It made my head hurt so bad, oh my gosh.” You dropped the other bowl of soup to the floor, shattering glass and boiling hot broth spilled on your feet; your face, expressionless, almost. “Woah! What’s gotten into you?!” Shouted Byeol. “Hina…. that wasn’t a dream. Last night, when I was driving home, you said Jaehyun missed me and he still loves me.” It was dead silent, the girls stopped wiping the floor. “What…? You broke up four years ago. How does he still have feelings after four damn years?” Emphasized Hina, standing up to throw away the paper towel and broken pieces of glass. “Never mind that! Do you feel the same way Y/N? Do you still love Jung Jaehyun?” Cleaning your soup stained feet, you walked to one of the stools. “.... I don’t, that’s why I’m so surprised. I thought he and I were at the same stage of being over each other. But I guess we’re not and he still has so much love for me…. When I don’t feel the same….” It was quite the predicament.

“Well, are you going to confront him?” , “..... I can’t. I already broke his heart once. I don’t love him like that anymore, no, but I still have emotions, and I’m a considerate human being. I can’t break his heart twice within a span of four years. I hoped that day was enough,” looking up to your friends who had confused looks on their faces. “I’ll just wait it out I suppose, we talked for a little last night and he seemed fine. But if he comes to me then I’ll let him down, again. If he doesn’t, it’s better for me not to see him sad, especially since his sadness is because of me.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“I can’t wait to meet you, girls!!! I have so much to tell you!!” The girls squealed over video chat while you were eating a small snack before bed. After a couple months of applying to different jobs, you had gotten accepted to work as a producer under SM Entertainment, it was truly rousing.

Hina and Byeol always wanted to keep in contact with you, they were your best friends, after all. And soon separating due to jobs, your small friend group was finally in Seoul at the same time. “I do too! The boutique is coming along so much better than last month's apparels!” Hina had pursued her career in the business and fashion game while Byeol was hired as a popular photographer for W Magazine.

“You will NOT believe who I had scheduled a shoot with the other day. Y/N you will lose your absolute shit when we see each other. I’ll tell you girls then, but for now I have to go shower and sleep. Tomorrow’s shoot is such a big deal for the magazine label. Bye! I love you both.” Subsequent to what Byeol had gossiped, curiosity spread in both you and Hina’s mind. “I wonder who she saw. And why she‘s acting like that.” Questioned Hina, scratching her head making you laugh. “Me too. I guess we’ll find out when we see each other on Wednesday. But I have to bathe Danbi. Can’t wait to see you! Love you Hina!” , “Okay, good luck with that. Love you too!” Closing your laptop, you shouted for Danbi, your year- and- a- half old nureongi dog. Whilst running the bath you couldn’t help but to wonder who Byeol previously worked with for her to tell you and freak out. “Who the hell could it be?”

The day of your meet, Wednesday. Waking up at around nine in the morning, you checked your emails that needed to be answered. Scrolling down, one email had caught your eye. From: An old friend, To: Y/N, Subject: ….Hi there :) “You’re absolutely kidding me.”

The restaurant Hina reserved, prior, was packed with people sitting in booths and waiting in line. “What the hell did you drag us into?” , “Relax, I had reservations set for us already.” The— quite attractive— waiter had brought you three to your table and did waiter things. “Okay, so…. my recent photo shoot was with…. Jung fucking Jaehyun, and Johnny Seo.” Hina, dramatically, choked while drinking her water. “Well, let me tell you… the same person emailed me at three in the morning, today.” Now both Byeol and Hina choked on their water. “You’re fucking with us!” , “I’m being dead serious. Look at my emails.”

“To the most lovely person, it’s Jaehyun. I know it’s been years upon years and I’m a prick that can’t stick to my words; but it’s been a while and I just wanted to reach out if we can actually hang out. As friends. I totally get why you wouldn’t want to catch up with me, and I totally understand if you don’t even respond. But I’d appreciate it if we could eventually meet up, even with our busy schedules. - Jung Jaehyun,” read Byeol with a traumatized look on her face and Hina with an even more traumatic expression on her‘s. “Look behind Y/N. Right now.” She was seated at the nearest end of the booth and she had seen the person that can’t get rid of his feelings, walk into the occupied restaurant.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

He’d been contemplating on writing a letter, texting you— if you still had the same number— or emailing you. “I’ll just email her,” he decided. Shakily opening his laptop in the midnight air, Jaehyun pressed the keys to your email address.

And it hurts, I wanna text so bad but you don’t want your best friend mad. ‘Cause they told you to walk away, but it’s hard and you’re feeling weak.

When Jaehyun called Johnny prior, he was upset but couldn’t control his best friend's romantic life. “Look, I don’t have a say in this but you shouldn’t text her by her number. You’d be crazy if you did that. Just email her I guess, but it’s been three years since you last saw her and it’s been seven whole years since you’ve been together. Jaehyun, I get that you love her but isn’t this a little crazy? And by a little I mean a lot crazy? What about her can’t you not forget? She’s clearly over you by now.” Jaehyun didn’t know either. He couldn’t answer Johnny’s questions because he didn’t have an answer. It was just difficult to think and talk about. And, of course, Jaehyun tried to get rid of his feelings for you. Going on blind dates, having one night stands, drinking his feelings away, but nothing helped, nothing cured him.

Jaehyun had been scouted as a model while working at some beat down cafe. It'd been about a year since his college graduation and he was pursuing his dream of being an architect. A not very known architect, at the time, but an architect nonetheless.

April 22, 2020 had been the schedule for his shoot with Johnny for W Magazine. While fitting into their Leonardo DiCaprio style clothes, they waited for the photographer they were to work with that day. Byeol had walked into the room, talking to a couple of the staff and when she turned to see her models, her face had dropped. The men had soon realized that their photographer was your best friend. Immediately going up to Byeol, Jaehyun had tried to talk to her about you. “It’s not for me to tell you how she is. Now get ready, I want this photo shoot done, pronto.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Looking to the table he had sat at, a girl was placed across him. “Wait! That’s Park Chaeyoung, she’s one of my models for this month's launch. What are they doing together?” , “What a two faced dickdead.” Scoffed Byeol, turning back to you and looking you in the eyes. “That wrench practically begged me to tell him how you’re doing and now he’s on a date with some model!? Quite the unbelievable person Jung Jaehyun is.”

Eating whatever you ordered, the girls just talked about how they were doing and scheduling your next get-together. Until Jaehyun walked by your table to get to the restroom. “Oh! I can talk to Chaeyoung now. I’ll inform you about what she says.”

Gliding across the room, Hina sat across Chaeyoung, catching her attention and smiling brightly. “Hi Hina! What brings you here? Did you just come here to talk about your launch? If so, I’m quite busy-” , “No, no. I’m here with my friends and we wanted to know why you’re here with, uh, Jung Jaehyun.” Her eyes virtually lit up at the mention of his name. “Oh, blind date. Our mutual friends set us up. He’s quite the guy! Super respectful, kind, and not to mention, incredibly good looking.”

Jaehyun had seen your face walking back from the restroom, and he paused in his steps, looking at the food-smiling you. He then looked back at Chaeyoung. The whole purpose of this blind date was to get over you, not see you. So, ignoring you, Jaehyun strided past, in small hopes you would notice that he was there; no luck. While looking ahead, he perceived his blind date to be talking to Hina, another one of your best friends. “Sorry, your date is back. But we’ll talk during the try-on. I’ll see you then, Chaeyoung.” , “Of course!” Hina glared at Jaehyun and purposefully bumped shoulders as she walked back to your table.

“They’re on a blind date. She seemed super interested in him. But I don’t know about the other story.” Byeol looked at the pair from her seat, making you laugh. “Guys it’s okay. It’s been seven years. I’m happy he’s finally going on dates. I appreciate it that you guys care, but I honestly don’t. Jaehyun is his own person and I am my own person. And we are separated, we have been separated for over six years now.”

Chatting away, your best friends couldn’t help but to look back at the table, only to see Jaehyun constantly glancing his way to yours. “Why do you guys keep looking back at their table?” You laughed at their faces but they just ignored your words and continued to stare down the blockhead that continually lied to you. “Maybe we should just go now… I think they’re a little uncomfortable. Plus, we don’t want them to ruin our plans for today, yeah?” They nodded and asked for a check. Walking out of the busy restaurant, Chaeyoung bid a goodbye to Hina and Jaehyun turned around only to see your back walking towards the exit.

If we ruled time and space and the Milky Way, would you reach me? Yeah, I know you wouldn’t reach me, but I hope that you think of me.

You had always thought of Jaehyun. After all, seven years had gone by so quickly and you had always wondered if he still had feelings or if he was still hurt. Whatever the reason was you were sincerely happy that he was moving on. And you were glad to see him more well-mannered and gentlemanly than he already was.

Jaehyun was glad to see you’d matured so well over the years he’d never seen you, but that made him miss you more everyday. Johnny had persistently been setting Jaehyun up on blind dates to get rid of his fondness for you, though to no avail and Johnny fails every time.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

It had been around four in the evening when Jaehyun went back to his shared apartment with Johnny. “Damnit Johnny I saw Y/N at that stupid restaurant. My affection for her is only getting stronger and I don’t know how to relieve them. This is taking such a big toll on me but it’s been seven fucking years. My heart aches for her so much and I don’t have a clue why!” He let out once more and Johnny just sighed, sitting on the couch next to his best friend. “Then just open up to her about it. She works under SM, yeah? Just ask around for her, you're doing a shoot with Wendy, right? Well, Y/N’s a producer for multiple artists under SM, just ask Wendy then.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

It was the upcoming day and you were getting ready to work with Red Velvet and Super Junior. Opening the door and walking towards one of the receptionists, you had signed in and walked straight to one of the recording studios and greeted whoever tendered a good morning. “Morning Y/N!” Greeted Taeyong and Mark, a duo under SM but also a part of Super M, SM’s newest debut boy group. You’d worked together in the past, only on a couple of songs but they were really good friends with you. “Morning boys! You guys are quite hyper at this time in the morning. I’m almost done with my coffee and you guys have more energy than I do!” You played and pointed to the dark circles under your eyes, which you tried to conceal with makeup. They laughed and gave you a short hug. “What’s your schedule today, Y/N?” , “Just some stuff for Red Velvet and Suju. We don’t record until Sunday, though. What about you boys?”

“We have our choreo that we have to finish and then some try-on stuff for our promotions and music video.” , “I’m sad that we can’t work together this time. But good luck with that! I’ll be definitely checking out the album when it comes out! Bye Mark, bye Taeyong!”

You unlocked your office— which was basically just a recording studio— and went straight to the cafe on the ground floor since your manager had asked to grab him a cup of coffee.

“Hey. Weren’t expecting you down here.” The voice was so distinct. “I work here…?” It sounded like you were irritated but you really weren’t, just confused because you had thought he knew you worked under SM. “Oh- I know, it’s just, I uh….” He scratched his neck in embarrassment. “I just didn’t know what to say when I approached you. Plus you always used to have coffee at home.” You were surprised he remembered something as small as that. “I just came down here to get some breakfast and the coffee is for my partner. We’re working with Suju soon. Then we’re working with Red Velvet.” , “So am I! Well, just with Wendy, we have an SM Station coming up. Today’s just the shoot for it.”

“Y/N, your order!” , “Sorry. I didn’t expect to see you here, especially so early, since you’re not a morning person. But text me some time, yeah? I still have the same number so we can communicate whenever you’d like.” This made Jaehyun beyond exhilarated. Maybe there was hope after all; you remembered how he hated mornings and you offered him to text you. And he was stoked to finally see progress, though it was mostly his fault of the zero progress, anyways.

“Of course! I guess we’ll be seeing each other a little more for a while then.” , “Yeah. But I really gotta go. See you whenever Jae.” He was happy to finally be having a less awkward conversation with you. His emotions were exploding out of his heart but he was able to contain them. He was happy that you were calling him Jae again, no one ever really called him that besides Johnny. And at this moment, Jung Jaehyun was content with your interaction. This time, Jaehyun promised himself to buff up and get over everything because, as of now, you two were friends— or at least he’d hoped you were. Luck was on his side and now he didn’t have to ask Wendy about you. He barely even knew the girl.

While in the middle of their shoot, you had intruded to ask some staff how much longer it would take. “Maybe, thirty more minutes? This is the last outfit for the shoot then she’s all yours,” explained one of the makeup artists. “Can I sit here then? Just to wait, and only for ten minutes. I need to set up a little bit soon.” , “Of course you can!” So, scrolling through your phone and occasionally looking up Wendy and Jaehyun had a short five minute break. “Wendy!” , “Y/N!” She waved, getting her lipstick and hair retouched. “I’m about to go to my studio. I’ll see you and the girls then!”

“Sounds good! I’ll see you in about twenty. Bye Y/N!” Sauntering toward the exit, Jaehyun bid you a goodbye as well. “Bye, I hope we meet again soon!” You beckoned. There were no words to describe how Jaehyun was feeling. He had no idea where the sudden burst of confidence came from, but it came then and he was fortunate enough to experience it now. Better now than never, he thought.

The ensuing day, Jaehyun had texted you to eat and catch up over some brunch. “Only if you’re not busy. Which is totally fine if you are. We can reschedule!” You chuckled at the text, he was still the same shy and awkward high school boy from years ago. “I’m down. We can meet at the front of the building at 11:30. I have a meeting to attend first.” , “Great!”

Driving to the label, your routine had been the same as the days before and took the elevator up to the meeting room. Once the boring, yet, necessary meeting was over, you placed your binder of papers on the desk and walked back to the entrance of SM. You smiled when approaching Jaehyun. Tapping on his shoulder, he turned around and returned your smile. “Ready? I’m taking us to The Hideout. I don’t know if you remember but I really liked eating there.” Your smile only grew wider, and your eyes were squinted shut in happiness. “I do remember! We used to always get banana bread and french toast. Gosh, I missed that place! I haven’t been there since 2013.” , “You and me both,” he said on the quieter side, anticipating your ears weren’t able to catch what he had said. You did, but you wanted to convince yourself that this was all in good fun and you two were friends now. It was impossible that after the years that had passed, he still had some sort of romantic feelings for you. But oh boy, were you wrong. He just didn’t want to admit it to you, at least, not yet.

The car ride was exactly the opposite of what you’d thought it was going to be, thankfully. Jaehyun brought so many topics into the conversation during the ride and while you were eating. “We should definitely order the banana bread and french toast! It’s been a while since I had some good brunch food!”

And all of a sudden, after being in the café for a short while, the discussion had gotten more serious, “Look, Y/N. I know I was an ass in the past but I finally had the guts to ask to go out and not bail on you. And I’m incredibly sorry for always ignoring you and not sticking to my words. I’m a jerk that you shouldn't have forgiven but I’m so damn grateful you put up with me for almost a whole decade. Gosh, I’m such a fake person, but I’m here to make up for it. And I’m glad we’re here together, as friends.” Every word that exited Jaehyun’s lips were genuine and sincere. He was happy to finally reconnect with the one he used to call his love. Yet at the same time, he was sorrowful he wasn’t able to reconnect earlier, he was sorrowful that you and he were no longer together. But there was nothing he could do, it was your decision and you both talked it out.

“You’re completely fine! I mean, I get why you didn’t want to talk to me. I broke your heart and you weren’t ready for it. It’s my fault I suppose, I was the one to unexpectedly tell you what was going on. But I’m happy as well. I’m happy you’re doing fine, and I’m happy we’re here as friends. And I’m happy you went on that date with Chaeyoung, you really needed it, I could tell… Oh! Speaking of Chaeyoung I wanted to ask how you two were doing. If the both of you were no longer going out on blind dates.” Your eyes had lit up at the thought of him being in another relationship. “We’re not, unfortunately. She did divulge in her thoughts about me, I just didn’t feel the same, I guess. She was undoubtedly nice but something just didn’t click between the both of us.” The light in your eyes had now dropped down. “That sucks. I’m sorry for asking then.” , “Oh, no! You’re great, I don’t really like blind dates anyway.”

The next half hour had passed by quickly and your manager had called you to meet at the studio for another, abrupt, meeting. “Well let’s go, I don’t want you to be late for that!” Jaehyun was still as kindhearted and delightful as you remembered. It was one of the things you loved and admired about him.

“Maybe we can meet again some time..?” , “We sure can! Honestly, we can just meet at the café on the first floor while you’re working with Wendy. But if you have any other plans, definitely text me! Well, I’ll be off now. I hope you enjoy the rest of the day in SM. Bye Jae.” Turning toward the elevator, Jaehyun admired your figure, then Wendy taps his back, jolting his reflexes. “Woah. Jung Jaehyun, are you interested in L/N, Y/N.” He sighed, a shy and sly smile appeared on his dimpled face. “I am. And I have been for seven whole years. Well, almost seven.” , “Wait, what? What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve loved Y/N for that long.... We separated seven years ago and I’m still so damn in love with her. Our anniversary is on June fourth. I want to take her out then and reveal my care for her.” Wendy sighed, patting Jaehyun on his back. “Good luck with that but she doesn’t seem to feel the same way.” The dimples on his face disappeared, “I know… when she and I broke up, she seemed completely fine and I was suffering. And I was a douchebag because I ignored her for years. Now’s the time to recover the time I had missed.” , “Are you going to tell her?” She looked at the taller man who was still staring at the elevator you took to your office. “Eventually….. June fourth, I will. I have to let go of my feelings for her and I think telling her that I still love her will help. That or Johnny just sucks at giving advice.” She sighed, a little disappointed, in a way. “Well, good luck with that. But just don’t think about it now. June fourth is still a couple months away. Just spend more time together and confess to her then. Now, let’s go, they’re going to get mad that we’re late.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Meeting with Jaehyun over the past two months was very pleasurable. You did miss his old self, you missed hanging out with Jung Jaehyun more than anything. He was such good company once he opened up, it was also one of the things you loved about him.

“Oh my gosh did you remember when Mrs. Yoon caught us making out? Her face was honestly priceless. Man, I hated her being.” He laughed. Of course you remembered, how could you not? “Yeah, she never bothered us the rest of the semester!” Reminiscing you past, the two of you joked around. You fooled around so much that you caught strangers stares.

“Well, I had fun tonight Y/N. I’ll invite you to dinner again soon. But dress up, I think I’m going to reserve a fancy restaurant.” It was quite weird, but it was Jung Jaehyun. And he was a sucker for sentimental moments. “Okay. Thanks for today. I had fun, like always. I’ll see you then. And thanks for the ride, I totally could have drove there myself.” , “I wouldn’t let you do that though.” Standing on your toes, you hugged the man that used to own your heart. “Thank you, Jae.” He hugged back. “Don’t thank me. But I’ll see you soon, yeah?” You nodded and waved as he walked to his car.

While showering your face had dropped, thinking about Jaehyun. You’d hoped he didn’t get any ideas about you having feelings for him. “No, he can’t be into me, after seven years he still can't have the same feelings. That’s impossible.”

June 4, 2020. You vividly remembered the date of your anniversary with Jaehyun. And it was fishy he had texted you, the morning of, about going to Rich Table, a renewed fancy restaurant downtown. “What is this boy up to this time?” You’d thought while reading the text he’d sent you.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

Jaehyun looked in the mirror. Fixing his tie and gelling his hair down, he retold himself, “Just admit that you still love her but you didn’t want things to feel unwieldy. You got this Jung Jaehyun. She’s over you and you have to move on.”

And it breaks me inside, ‘cause I know that it’s been over now.

There were no words in the entirety of the universe to explain how he felt, and how guilty he was since he still loved you. Jaehyun knew you remembered your anniversary, and he felt so distressed about you remembering. He knew you must’ve thought something was wrong.

But you make excuses still, so there’s a reason not to kill every feeling you have for them.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Eight P.M., Thursday June fourth. Like he promised, Jaehyun was at your door by eight sharp. The car ride, this time, had so much unknown tension. And while placing yourselves at the table, there was still absolute silence. It was quiet when you ordered and it continued to stay quiet as you ate, the both of you avoiding eye contact with each other.

“Y/N.... I know what you’re thinking. But I just wanted to take you out today to confess that I am still so in love with you.” You were silent, and looking straight at the table. “I’m sorry I was such a coward after not admitting it to you after years had gone by. But I wanted to find the perfect time to tell you, and I figured today was the right time. I already knew that you knew I had something planned. And I’m sure this wasn’t what you were expecting. I apologize a million times for being such a wuss and not saying anything at all. I thought that trying to meet with you would make every emotion that you taught me, go away. You’re probably mad as I say all this, but I don’t blame you. But those feelings have drifted away slowly…. You know, here and there. So, I wanted to tell you this as friends….. that if…. if you were only a bus ride away, would you see me?” It was hushed for a long moment, until you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “Of course I would. We’re okay now. Why would you even ask that? And I couldn’t never stay mad at you. I’m not that kind of person, Jaehyun. Just know that we broke up and you were fine with it, and please know that I still have so much love for you in my heart.” He dryly laughed. “But not the same way I do. I missed us a lot, I missed you a fuck-ton. But most importantly, I wanted to say that I miss when you needed me.”

[okaybutlikeimagine]

PREVIEW: Will You Take Me as I Am?

i’m working on a fic for @biillys for something long overdue that i almost feel embarrassed talking about bc?? it was so long ago that the fundraiser has since been cancelled! have i apologized enough yet??? i don’t think i have!!

ANYWAY the title is “Will You Take Me as I Am?” and it was supposed to be super light and fun and happy and it will be but it’s also going to be angsty bc Quarantine is doing some Shit to me over here ~♥ BUT it will have things including, but not limited to:

- Billy, Steve, Max, and El bickering over music

- big long road trip to Cali

- stupid roadside attractions

- sunny summer days in San Diego

- Billy’s friends from back in the day (bc he had them and we need to talk about that!!!!)

- Max Max Max Max and Max bc Max is so good and we need to talk about her too

- Tony fucking Hawk

it’ll hopefully be done soon! this is just a super tiny snippet bc i feel awful for not having it finished yet and i need to post something or i’ll cry. so!! @biillys, i love you so much and hope you’re well and it’s COMING but until then, have this slightly sad but also heartfelt scene with our little Disaster Siblings! ♥

(title from California - Joni Mitchell bc DUH)

~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~

Driving Max to school doesn’t set Billy on edge anymore.

“And it’s just so stupid because Cindy swears to everyone that she looks like Molly Ringwald. She doesn’t stop talking about it! Like anyone even cares.”

As irritating as it might be to hear about 9th grade gossip.

“And she still makes fun of my hair. Because it’s not the ‘right’ shade of red? What the hell?”

Billy smirks and listens vaguely and thinks about a few months ago. He remembers when the fall air bit him hard. When it felt invasive and aggressive and piercing rather than just present and embracing and knowing. The chill doesn’t hurt him anymore. The sound and smell of the farms doesn’t boil his blood anymore. The idea of Max having a life here doesn’t grind away at his memories anymore.

He’s laughing without hearing her. He vaguely hopes she doesn’t take too much offense by it, but the rest of him doesn’t really care. She’ll just hit him and grumble and he’ll give a vacant yet amused apology and they’ll continue on their car ride listening to Joan Jett.

Except she doesn’t hit him. His chuckles die down and the only sound through the car is Joan Jett wailing and Max tapping her fingers on her jeans.

It’s got Billy curious. He looks over quickly and sees her mouth moving- mumbling to herself.

“Telling yourself secrets or something?”

She glares, but it’s half-hearted. She chews on her lip and then she’s looking back down at her lap.

Billy’s just a little tempted to just let it all slide, but...

“Alright, what’s up?” He caves.

The quiet of the car makes Billy nervous. The air is whipping past them through the slightly rolled down windows, shoving itself into the absences of their conversation. Billy’s fingers start fidgeting with nerves and he’s on the verge of cutting in before she can get any words out, but then Max is speaking, hurriedly and with a furrowed brow as she says-

“How old are you again?”

Billy pauses.

“The hell kind of question is that?” He asks, looking over at her incredulously, confused at the question. She’s still trying to glare.

“Shut up! Just… you’re like… graduating soon… right?”

Billy raises an eyebrow at the road.

“No, Maxine.” Billy says with dripping sarcasm. “I love high school so much I was thinking of just staying there for the rest of my life.”

“Let me talk!”

“I am letting you talk! You’re just saying stupid shit!”

“Augh, you are so annoying!”

She’s crossing her arms now, and for some reason Billy can’t find it in himself to be amused by it. So instead he heaves a little sigh and bites his lip and waves for her to continue.

She sighs back.

“It’s just… my birthday is kinda close. And yours is like, right after that. And I was… just thinking. The other day...”

She trails off, hands fidgeting and head turned to the window. She doesn’t pick back up the conversation. Iggy Pop is howling through the radio, now.

“Thinking? Pretty dangerous thing to do when you’re-”

Max hits Billy with the hardest glare yet of the car ride. He concedes.

“Alright. What were you thinking about?”

The glare softens. Her eyes fill with worry… and nerves. Billy finds something vaguely reminiscent in them, even if it’s not exactly the same as in his memory. He knows he’s being a little shit but he hasn’t done anything to warrant fear... has he? He racks his brain while they sit in the silence she lets settle between them.

“I was just thinking about… well… remember that one birthday?” She’s had a few birthdays while they’ve shared a roof. A couple of them he’s purposefully decided to forget-most notably that first one. “When you took me to the boardwalk?”

That one he definitely remembers, with more color than most memories. She was turning 12- it was right before they found out they were moving. Things had been going so well. That birthday saw them walking down the boardwalk together to pick up some ice cream sundaes and talk about friends. Old ones and new ones. Gossip and interests. Max has mentioned that birthday a few times before- she says all the time it was the first time Billy treated her like a real person. Like a sister. He used to roll his eyes at her confession until he stopped. Because he realized maybe she was right. Maybe before that, “sister” wasn’t really in his vocabulary- not with a real definition and most definitely not with a face.

It was a nice day. They skated down the boardwalk and he taught her a couple of tricks on her board and he bought her something from the knick-knack store at the corner where the boardwalk met the street. She smiled at him genuinely for the first time ever. It seemed like they could be friends.

He chews the inside of his lip. He doesn’t like to think too far past that memory.

“Yeah, I remember.”

She’s fidgeting still. He wants to slap her hands to get her to stop because it’s making his leg twitch.

“Well I was just thinking about it. And… and… well…”

She’s picking at her cuticles. He winces whenever he sees her do that. He used to do that too. Used to bite at them when he was nervous, so much it’d make his fingers bleed. He’s stopped for a year or so now. She’s still doing it. He wonders sometimes if she picked it up from watching him and his shifty eyes. He can’t take watching her so nervous and he’s starting to feel on edge and-

“Spit it out, Max.” His voice is a little snappy, but he really doesn’t mean it. She sighs rather than glares.

“Are you still gonna move out to California?” She asks, all the words slurred together like they’re one but it doesn’t matter, because Billy understands them all.

He loses his breath for a second. When he looks over, he sees her eyes are screwed shut, but then she opens them and there’s tears there. He hates seeing tears there. Something squeezes his heart at the thought that he’s responsible again... only this time he doesn’t even know what he’s done.

“Uhm-”

“Like after you graduate.”

“Uh-”

A tear falls down her cheek.

“Shit.”

She looks down at her lap. Billy looks back at the road and has to hit the breaks hard when he realizes he’s about to run a stop sign. He takes a deep breath.

“Maybe. I dunno.”

“Take me with you.”

It’s sudden. He’s staring at her and she’s staring at her hands, picking at her cuticles viciously. It’s the faint sound of someone honking behind them that gets Billy to start driving again.

“Not like… forever...” Max says in such a small voice Billy is speechless. “Just for… a little bit.”

They ride in silence for a bit. They’re almost at school. Billy almost wants to stop the car because Max is going to cry and she’s gonna be pissed about walking into school while crying.

There are too many thoughts swirling through Billy’s head, some of them colored like a carnival, before Max is speaking again.

“I just… I miss home.”

It punches Billy in the gut. His memories fade to the sand and the waves and teaching Max how to break through the surf. He’s swirling down into thoughts of ice cream and babysitting her and walking along the boardwalk and telling her to make sand castles while he ran away with his friends. Tanned skin and sun-bleached hair and darker freckles blooming on their faces.

“It was stupid.” Her voice cuts quickly through the fog of memories. “Forget I said anything.”

“What? No.” Billy can’t forget. He doesn’t know how to answer but… but she’s crying and he’s not going to pretend like that’s not something he should be worried about.

“No, it’s stupid. You’re gonna be going with Steve. I don’t even know how I’d get back… it’s fine-”

“Are you trying to live with your dad?” Billy asks because it’s the only thing that makes sense to ask right now. She shakes her head vehemently.

“No no… I wanna live with my mom. I wanna stay here. I just wanna… visit, I guess…”

He so often forgets she’s still such a kid. She’s four years away from where he is. She’s four years away from being able to be independent. From having the ability to leave. They moved and Billy felt like he had been put in a cage. The word “landlocked” was the cruelest, harshest, most disgusting word imaginable to him because to him the only synonym was “trapped”. He knew it meant staying for another two years. He didn’t think about how for her it meant six. For her it was either plant your roots or let them dry out and crack in the Indiana sun. He couldn’t see that as he screamed at her back then.

“I dunno, I just miss it.” She says, but it’s quiet as she wipes at her cheek with the back of her hand.

Billy pulls into the school and picks a spot in the back of the lot, even though the bell is gonna ring soon and it’ll probably take too long to walk onto campus. She’s still sniffling a bit and his heart is squeezing tight. His chest is constricting. He’s watching Max right now and thinking about how the Billy he was a few weeks ago and even beyond was making a whole plan to just fuck off to California with Steve. How he didn’t even give a thought to leaving Max behind with the knowledge that he’d be back in the San Diego sun. He’d be back where the world made sense and she’d be here still shoving her roots in the ground to find some comfort.

Now suddenly he can’t imagine ever doing that.

“Well uh…” He starts, but his voice is bubbled. He clears his throat and tries again. “I still gotta convince Steve… I was planning on taking him just for a trip over there. Just so he can check it out and see if he likes it.”

He hasn’t even extended an offer yet, but she turns to look at him and the only way to describe her face is glowing. She’s so hopeful. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is slightly tilted up into a smile, open a little in shock. He just shrugs it off, even though it lights up his chest.

“I guess we can squeeze you into his fancy little car.”

“Oh Billy thank you.”

She reaches across the center console to wrap him into as good a hug as she can. He rolls his eyes, but he pats her back as he does it.

“Yeah yeah… chill out.” He sounds tired to his ears, pulling away from Max and getting ready to leave the car when-

“We should take El, too.”

“What?”

Max crosses her arms, suddenly looking pretty bossy for a girl with tears still shining in her eyes. Billy can’t say he’s exactly surprised at seeing her capable of that.

“We should take El too.”

“You just invited yourself and now you’re inviting other people?”

Her brows furrow.

“She’s my best friend! And she’s like... your sister now, right?”

“Yeah yeah, but-”

“I’m going to be there all alone with just you and Steve! I’m gonna need someone to keep me company while you two try to suck face.”

“Okay I get it-”

“Plus she’s never seen the ocean! She’s never left Indiana… she’s barely left Hawkins! She needs something like this-!”

“Al-right! Alright, I get it. I’ll ask Hop, alright?”

Max seems to let up, taking a deep breath and sitting back in her seat from where she was getting dangerously close to the edge in her excitable anger.

They sit in the quiet for a second before Billy elbows her and mutters: “Trying to guilt trip me, huh?”

Max shrugs, but she’s chewing her lip and picking at her cuticles and she’s giving Billy a side eye and-

“I just wanna show her around…” Max shrugs again, like she can’t think to do anything else. “It was my home too, Billy.”

She’s still picking at her cuticles and her leg is bouncing and she… she’s so young. He’s not sure how he could forget so quickly. She left a home behind, too. And family and friends. She left a lot behind. He always forgets.

“Billy…” Max starts, voice trailing.

“Yeah?”

There’s a small beat of silence where Billy waits breathlessly.

“We’re going to California.”

It’s a statement- like there’s no doubt in her mind that it’s happening. It’s going to happen. He hears her certainty and feels it too. She’s starting with concentrated eyes down at her lap but she’s so sure it looks like it hurts.

She sniffles and his heart nearly cracks. He rubs her shoulder kind of harshly and rather than a glare she gives a sort of grateful smile. That is, before she pushes at Billy’s hand and wipes at her eye and gripes about how “we’re gonna be late.”

Billy snickers.