#pretend everyone is alright in 2010 for instagram

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Ratchet goes on vacation for a month and comes back with a baby, all of the autobots are baffled

Ratchet wants to keep the identity of the sire a secret until the colors at least come in (a couple months) but would like it to last until Torque can walk (a year)

Optimus hogging the sparkling is very in character of him so no one questions it

[btsybrkr]

2020 Vision: What To Expect From The Next Decade (By Someone Who Has No Idea, Obviously.)

Happy New Year, all!! I had planned to do a little run-down last week of everything that happened in the 2010s, but instead succumbed to the existential struggle that comes with the week that follows Christmas Day, in which your time becomes largely swallowed up by asking yourself ‘what day is it?’ and ‘at what point am I supposed to stop living on a diet of alcohol and Quality Street?’. It’s festive purgatory, and you’re literally powerless to do anything other than sleep, eat, and moan that the shops are still playing Christmas music. That’s my excuse, anyway.

So, instead, I thought we’d say a collective “cinnabit, lad” to 2019 and a collective “what is UP, dude?” to the Roaring 20s 2.0, the only sequel that humanity has waited a whole 100 years for. Apart from Avatar 2, which I imagine will come out at some point in the 3020s.  What do we know so far about what the 2020s have in store for us? Obviously, not a lot, but as someone who successfully predicted the outcome of the last election, and the UK’s last four Eurovision losses - two things which I’m sure absolutely nobody ever saw coming - I thought I’d give out my own valuable speculation. Here’s what the 2020s might look like, according to me.

Politics

Let’s get it out of the way - we’re in a terrible state. At this point, every important issue is so divisive, that the nation is divided over everything, including whether we’re actually divided or not. Do I think we’ll become any less divided in the coming years, in a United Kingdom where the conversation is so often dominated by things we can absolutely never seem to agree on? Yes. We will have no choice. Why? 

All-out war.

Yes, I said it. In 2021, there will be all-out war. With America, probably. I don’t know why. Maybe Trump will get into an argument with Boris Johnson over who can manage to effortlessly look the most like a Viz caricature of themselves - they both already do somehow, I’m just saying they might disagree on which one of them is the best at it. Could be that, or possibly a more serious cause, to do with nuclear weapons or something, but I’d rather not think about that, because it’s not as funny as the Viz thing. And it’s more likely. So, we’ll pretend for now that we’re on the verge of the first pantomime, slapstick war the world has ever seen.

Anyway, while Trump and Johnson are beefing up a storm - picture Punch and Judy, except the puppets are in suits and have thinning, bright yellow hair - previously all-encompassing issues like Brexit will fall by the wayside, until Boris Johnson eventually decides to hand his notice in to focus on more important things, like beating Trump with a wooden spoon and chasing after the dog that stole all his sausages. After this, we’ll all come together to realise that if actual elected officials can’t do the job, then maybe we, the people, deserve our chance to test our political metal. Obviously, we can’t let just anybody have a go, but at the end of the year, Cosmopolitan magazine puts the traditional democratic process at number one on its ‘Leave It In 2021’ list, so we have absolutely no choice but to come up with something else, which brings me to...

Television And Film

2022 will start with a bang, with the debut of Simon Cowell’s new talent show format, So You Think You Can Be The Prime Minister?, hosted of course by Ant and Dec, with the aftershow on ITV2 being hosted by Jeremy Paxman. Contestants will line up in huge crowds to give judges Russell Brand, Susanna Reid, and, of course, Jesus S. Cowell himself (forgot to mention, Simon Cowell has been elected as the new Christ in this completely non-hypothetical universe, alright?) their opinions on hot political topics such as Brexit, the NHS, and, of course, whether a Jaffa Cake can really be classed as a biscuit or not. Each episode, contestants will take part in a live debate, themed around a different issue with every passing week. The two least popular contestants after the weekly phone vote will go head-to-head giving their own rendition of Running The World by Jarvis Cocker, with the worst performer being eliminated. I know a sing-off isn’t exactly relevant in a politics programme, but it’s Saturday night primetime so it’s still got to be at least somewhat entertaining, yeah?

Love Island will be back, of course - and not just with a Summer and Winter edition, but with an additional Spring and Autumn one for the 2024 schedule! This will be a win-win situation for the series producers, and for its viewers, as by 2027, ITV will run out of attractive under-35s to appear on the show, and members of the public will begin getting called up to appear - like with jury duty, except that ITV pay for you to have extensive cosmetic surgery first, so that you’re aesthetically pleasing enough for people to want to tune in, and so that you can maintain a successful career selling Bootea on Instagram afterwards. 

Films will also go through a renaissance in the 2020s, as the Hollywood big boys come to a conclusion that everything has just become a little too… blockbuster. To remedy this, they make the joint decision that, 100 years on, we should take ourselves back to the silent film era, which will surely create hundreds of jobs for mute people, therefore solving Hollywood’s problems with a lack of diversity in film. It’ll also give well-known TikTok creators a chance to make the leap into mainstream entertainment, as they’ll have spent so long lip-synching over the years that they’ll now be more qualified to star in these new golden age pictures than actual trained actors. Obviously, that sounds absolutely beyond comprehension, but look at Count Orlok in 1922’s Nosferatu. See his slender limbs, blank stare, gothic dress sense - in a way, he’s the original e-boy, and there’s plenty of them out there on TikTok now that could play the titular vampire just as well in a 100th anniversary remake, just with less neck-biting and more lip-biting. Trust me, it’ll be a hit.

Technology

Throughout the 2010s, there’s been a lot of talk about everyone spending too much time on their bloody phones, so, in 2024, Apple will try to combat this issue when they unveil perhaps their most innovative product to date - the iPhone XZ+, a phone which exists solely in the mind of its users. Not in a Black Mirror, chip-inside-your-brain sort of way, either. It is literally imaginary. It’s a phone that, instead of being a phone, is actually just the concept of a phone. Yes, for the small cost of £1,500 and six units of your own soul, you, too, can block the rest of the world out. How amazing is that? No more wasting hours of your day keeping in touch with friends and family. No more accessing a wealth of information, wherever you are, with a quick Google. No more blocking out the sound of cackling pre-teens on the bus by putting in your earphones and listening to music. These things are bad and must be stopped, before we become an entire species of communicating, bopping, learning zombies.

I think those must be bad things anyway, since you can rarely go a few seconds scrolling through social media without stumbling across a ‘woke’ meme about how the use of smartphones is destroying us, one notification at a time - memes which I’m absolutely sure were created and posted from a book or a potato or something. Otherwise they’d just be hypocritical, wouldn’t they?

Anyway, the iPhone XZ+. It’s the only thing you need inside your head this decade. Apart from a very real ever-growing sense of fear and doom, which you can get for free.

Sport

The next decade will see the Olympics and Paralympics take place in 2020, 2024 and 2028, as well as the Winter equivalents to both in 2022 and 2026. You’d think we’d be all Olympic-ed out with that, but in the absence of anything else that gets people feeling remotely patriotic in a purely nice way, the world will decide to come together to throw scaled-down, low-budget Olympic games in all the off-years this decade. 

Summer 2021 will see the start of the first ever Not-The-Actual-Olympics. Marked by a glamourous opening ceremony in a field in Loughborough, the opening will feature a series of performances from stars such as H from Steps, and will be attended by some people who aren’t the royal family, but really do look like them. Taking place over the 10-week long games will be thumb wars, arm wrestling, staring contests, and an exciting event in which competitors try to eat the most HobNobs they possibly can without the help of a glass of water to combat the extreme dry-mouth they end up with. It might sound underwhelming now, but if there turns out to be any truth in the other predictions I’ve made here, it might be just what you need to restore your faith in the everyday.

Happy New Year, Everyone

In all seriousness - not that the rest of this isn’t serious, because it is, and is definitely all going to happen - whatever the coming years bring, it’s important to remember that we have to take the good with the bad, to look after ourselves and each other, and to enjoy each day as much as we possibly can, even during the bits of life that leave us feeling a little less Gangnam Style than we did way back in 2012. Thanks, everyone, for reading my blog. I’ll be back again in a week or so to talk absolute arse about something else. Until then, I hope you all had a great 2019, and have an even better start to 2020. Cheers!

[chrispetescia]

My 2016 in review ... Part 1 of 2

Even after seven years of this (read: 2015 part 1 & part 2, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009), it’s actually a bit daunting to do one for 2016. I definitely procrastinated this year, partly because I am not sure how to articulate some of what I feel. I think the state of the world outside of what I can control ... from newly elected leadership at home to global humanitarian plights and environmental concerns ... has me feeling burdened by a mood of something looming and impending, dark but just in my peripheral vision for now. But, since I can’t quite speak to that yet, and let’s hope I never have to, this is a look back at some of my favorite things in the life bubble where my focus is 99% of the time anyway.

A few thoughts.

This year felt like a lot shifted in my lifestyle. I was fairly healthy, physically speaking (especially compared to events in previous years you can read about in older posts), largely thanks to my trainer who I see 3-days a week. But, I traveled more for work than ever before, saw my family less than ever before, and things were vastly differently than prior years. Looking back through a year of posts, photos, etc ... and, there are a lot, although to be honest, most photos are for myself and family to enjoy, so sorry / not sorry ... I just enjoy documenting it, because I appreciate it all. For me it is about living the life I want to live, that fulfills my drive, and it has always been. I do what I love because I love it, and because it enables the things I want in life across the board. 

I want Carrot to be the best place, where anyone talented can continue to develop and grow those talents, and in turn teach their fellow Carrots. I want to make sure everyone there feels inspired, respected, safe, and loves the specialness of what we have built. I want to adventure with my brother in arms and life, Mike Germano, for the sake of the journey and not any particular destination. I want to dress up as Star Wars characters (screen accuracy matters ;) and own ridiculous pieces of that Galaxy that inspires wonder in me, still. I want to be an Annual Passholder at Disney. I want to be a hero to my little girl, and exceed my wife’s expectations of me. And so these are the sorts of things I do, because they’re the purpose of it all - for me. I work to obtain and maintain against it... Career and life are not really separate. There is no “off,” and never has been. They’re all part of the “why” I do anything. Self-awareness is important, and I am grateful for my own because I suspect it’s not a universal trait. Life doesn’t compartmentalize in anyone’s reality, and so I don’t pretend mine does.

None of this is an accident, or even remotely easy. The “how” is the stuff that is hard to capture and share in an instagram photo: the many hours of work and meetings and meetings and work, the gold travel status by sheer volume of miles on two separate airlines, and all the many, many moments I miss by being away... this is what the majority of my time, energy and heart go to. My family gets maybe 20-25% of my attention and mental focus, broadly speaking, and hardly ever during the week. And so, I tend to celebrate the great things I am there for and can capture in a photo. It’s what I scroll through when I am away and need a quick smile and reminder. I want to be more present for them - mentally as well as physically - and if there is a daunting resolution for 2017, it’s that. It won’t be easy because I am wired for the broader consideration of Carrot and the 170-or-so people who have chosen to spend their valuable time, energy and creativity there. That love and responsibility existed first and so the two compete inside me. The one I see the most tends to win-out. Life is fleeting, so I want to work on my internal discipline and be present... when I am with my family, I need to be with them give them the most of me I can.

Below is a highlights reel of notes (photo and video linked) about 2016, beginning with Carrot and ending with life outside it (don’t worry- plenty of Olivia). The company is way, way too big and busy to even remotely cover adequately and without insulting any of our talented people whose efforts I don’t note specifically. So, this is just some of my favorite memories from the year and barely a small fraction of it all. Our 2016 work reel nods to more than I can in this post, and not even enough then - but, I am incredibly proud of all of it, particularly because so many others had everything to do with it, often entirely independent of me.

2016 Professional

The year started off with a marathon 5-days at CES in Las Vegas for tech immersion and meetings. It was great to spend some time with Robin Trani, who was also out there! Demoing Tilt Brush and other VR games from Steam/ HTC Vive with her and Bruno was particularly memorable. The very occasional sleep (alright, unconsciousness) was in a nice room with a view, but by the time I left and landed at my hotel in LA, I NEEDED a drink ... which was a bit alarming. I think three days in Vegas is a healthy limit, for general reference. My first time in Venice Beach, I finally got out to see our newly-opened LA office. It was the first of many visits in 2016 (and the start of my avocado toast obsession), and fondly reminded me of our earlier days of Carrot: the excitement, energy, and possibility of everyone working hard in line-of-sight (but with the upside of financial backing and nice amenities ;). We spent a Sunday afternoon at Disneyland - my first time there! - as a Carrot family, full of thrills and fun. We also met with and befriended the amazingly talented Blur Studios, and I was invited to dress fancy and attend co-founder and Deadpool Director Tim Miller’s premiere of the film! Len from Carrot LA and my good friend Ashley joined. In the spirit of premieres, Ashley generously invited me and the whole Carrot LA staff to the premiere with Q&A of Studio Ghibli’s Only Yesterday, newly dubbed in English and including the voice talent of Daisy Ridley and, of course, Ashley herself!

Continuing the momentum of cool things, I was back out West for one of the most special experiences of my life. Carrot is our vessel for dreams, and I sailed through a few checkboxes in one trip. It began with our client ANA’s new BB-8 plane, landing at LAX from its inaugural flight. Jasmine was kind enough to insist I sub-in for a Carrot rep out there, and I GOT TO MEET BB-8 (flown in from the London set of Episode 8)! The next day I was in San Francisco to visit Lucasfilm. Ahead of meetings, I got to join Ashley’s family on a special tour through halls of props, production and a lot I wasn’t allowed to photograph. At the end of the day, we were even treated to a special, early screening of Star Wars Rebels’ Season 2 finale with Director Dave Filoni and crew! The next day I drove across the bridge to Marin, and Skywalker Ranch. This is on every true fan’s dream checklist, and meetings with the George Lucas Education Foundation regarding their 25th anniversary earned me a coveted invite. After the meeting, I headed over to the insanely private guest houses to meet up with Ashley and her wonderful family again, who had been invited to stay, coincidentally. The ranch is truly one of the most beautiful and profoundly peaceful places I have ever been, and guests are essentially Star Wars royalty or celebrities recording at Skywalker Sound (on premises) or VIPs doing business with George. After walking the grounds (and seeing some Endor re-shoot spots), buying some keycard access-only swag at the Ranch Store (this stuff will be buried with me - you can’t even find any of it on ebay, as that would be insulting to George), we enjoyed a nice dinner in the common area building. We prepared the food alongside Jodie Foster and her partner (who I didn’t initially recognize) and two chefs who they brought up from SF, in a giant kitchen. You can request food from the ranch gardens and farm, all of which is picked fresh daily. I wasn’t allowed to take photos, but while walking around the property my finger did slip a few times (and we know iPhones have a mind of their own). All three days of this insane experience are surmised in photos here.

Speaking of Ashley Eckstein, who I am so honored to count as a close friend ... I am beyond proud and impressed with her as an entrepreneur and business woman, talented actress and performer. After 6.5 years of hard work, her company, Her Universe, sold to Hot Topic this fall and they just recently began the next phase of their growth and adventure. Congrats to Ashley, David and the team who are already working to expand and conquer a space they created: fashionable, empowering apparel for female fangirls. HU and HT have a history of successful collaboration. It’s exciting to look forward to more now, especially with licenses ranging from Star Wars, Star Trek, Marvel and Disney Parks (and plenty more). The apparel is fantastically designed, and it makes the male fanbase envious (myself included ... although I do have some apparel I wear anyway). Their fashion show at SDCC this year was unprecedented and they even had a digital docu-series produced for it (Carrot worked on some screen graphics)!  Additionally, I have high hopes for continued success and the growth of Her Universe press :)

Another incredible experience this year was my time working with Disney Parks. There is surely more ahead for us in 2017, but it began extremely uniquely. After meeting with a VP-level scouting team from their creative group, Yellow Shoes, in the Spring of 2016, Duncan Wardle (A brilliant, 29-year veteran) asked me to breakfast in NYC. By the end of our chat, I learned that we had excited them so much with our passion for the Disney brand and our knowledge of the digital and social content and tech space, that we were being invited to participate in their proprietary creative process for 2017 planning. Myself and an appropriate second party (we selected Asif Khan, who headed our Strategy team) would be part of a braintrust to do several weeks of deep strategy and creative work in Orlando. I cannot disclose more than that, but I am sure they won’t mind me speaking about my awe. A Disney fanboy, I was essentially being asked to live, eat, and breathe Walt Disney World for several weeks. Work and Think Disney all day in sessions, experience the magic of WDW after hours. Aside from obvious reasons, this was incredibly fulfilling because I got to think for Disney ... one challenge, intensely ... rather than a myriad of dozens of things at once. The focus of it was completely refreshing and something I didn’t realize I desperately needed, a healthy departure from (and light neglect of) the many, many things I usually touch and shift between mentally on any given day. We did some fantastic work with great collaboration between complimentary expertise, and developed some incredible relationships. We truly felt like partners in the process. A special thank you is beyond necessary to Chris Chapman for everything during those sessions, and since. I can’t talk about the work, but I can talk about everything beyond. The first two weeks we stayed at Animal Kingdom Lodge and enjoyed a Savannah view. There is a special sort of magic in taking conference calls and working from your room’s deck while a grazing giraffe watches you. If you got sick of that, there was always the stunning lobby to catch up on email before dinner at the Parks. Week three was at Disney’s Grand Floridian, which is stunningly beautiful and I am probably not fancy enough for it - I did get the best sleep I have had in years there though, and ended up buying one of the pillows they use in the rooms, for home. Week four was at Disney’s Boardwalk, whose vibe was just really cool. Modeled after turn-of-the-century Atlantic City, it was beautiful and incredibly placed in walking distance between Hollywood Studios and Epcot. Chris Mercaldo was generous enough to guide us through the Parks, after hours, on several occasions, with seemingly infinite knowledge and factoids, and enabled many firsts for me (Tower of Terror and Everest among them). I returned for a new project in October (with a fresh Carrot crew), for a shorter session and stay, and once again enjoyed the Grand Floridian. We also had plenty of meetings out west in the Burbank offices for Digital and Creative. All said and done, and including a vacation in October and a remote-work/vacation the week before Christmas, I spent something like 7-8 weeks living at WDW. From food to technology, it is truly a place of wonder, and the “Frontline Cast” (guest-facing staff) is incredibly proud of their work and eager to assist, and ensure you have a magical day. Carrot <3 Disney.

Some other great memories this year include continued work with The Yankees and seeing thousands of our ticket designs in the hands of fans throughout the season. We enjoyed our company season tickets and a special suite for their Star Wars Day! Speaking of Star Wars Day, May the 4th at Carrot is a special day and this year’s festivities included fantastic decor and arrangements by Brittany and her office team. We even made a special BB-8 cocktail, tweaked and approved by expert and friend BT Parsons. BT was also kind enough to do an Amaro tasting this fall at Carrot, in honor of his new book. 2016 also saw Carrot’s 11th Founder’s Day and 11th Birthday. We were at RIT’s New Media Industry day, recruiting for our 8th year straight, and I was asked to be on both an Alumni Board and Applied Critical Thinking board - incredible honors - which will begin duties early in 2017. Carrot Halloween was a blast as usual and probably the best annual party at Carrot, IMO, while Carrotsgiving is always just a warm and happy event: everyone comes together, brings something to share, and we celebrate an appreciation for what we have and have built together. This years was our last in the office at 45 Main st so it felt a little extra special. We also named Kurt as our Carrot cup winner, as voted by previous winners, and it was entirely deserved! 

A big one, literally:  we signed a lease for a brand new office in the spring, and broke ground this fall. Lots of hard work from all, with daily management by Kyle and planning by Brittany and Carlos will have us in there shortly. This is the space we dreamed of for our office - literally this exact space - when we first came to Brooklyn. It’s beautiful and exciting and represents the company we now are. It’s also extremely exciting because we will be sharing it with VICE’s content agency, Virtue, and working to fully capitalize on our collaboration. The potential of Carrot + VICE has been only lightly tapped since the acquisition, so I am genuinely anticipating what working side by side with them will enable us both to do :) We are entering the next phase of the company, an evolution that we tend to go through every year or so, and this one is profoundly at a new level of potential. 2017 is going to be a fun year - with high expectations - for Carrot :)

In terms of external investments, there are a few I will talk more about in a 2017 recap (hopefully) ... but we have some great stuff in the works for Fornino and it’s still as delicious as ever. We also invested in a new company: Cora. Their mission and leadership and product are fantastic. Our friends at Robin are still killing it and we couldn’t be prouder.

Continued in Part 2 of 2 ...