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hannibals-favourite-meal · 7 months ago

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happy 6k!! its well deserved! can i ask for secret relationship with Aaron Hotchner (if it hasn’t been requested yet) ♡︎

.⋆｡Serendipity｡⋆.

Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader

Something’s wrong with you, a subtle change taking place over months that your profiler co-workers haven’t noticed but one Penelope Garcia has

Warnings: secret relationship, fluff, Garcia snooping, mention of condoms/smut WC: 1.6k

6k Follower Celebration Bingo

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

Penelope was worried about you, to say the least. You had always been a bit of an introvert, preferring to stay home with your hobbies and books rather than go out to a bar with the rest of the team but over the last month, you had been far more reclusive than normal. She may not have been a profiler but she could see the way you hid your phone, the turtlenecks and scarves that now seemed to be a staple of your wardrobe, and most damning of all, the fact that you had avoided Girl’s Night.

And Penelope was going to get to the bottom of it.

“I need your help. Now.” She jammed her pen onto the end call button of her desk phone before the person on the other end of the line could answer. Her eyes were glued to the monitor in front of her, your social media page laid out across the screen. She had gone through every like, every comment, every follower and nothing seemed blatantly out of place but she knew she was missing something.

“C’mon baby, I know you’re somewhere in there.”

The door to her cave slammed open, revealing a slightly sweaty and very out of breath Dr Reid. “What! What is it? What’s wrong?”

Penelope spun her chair around and in a squeaky voice responded. “I don’t know!” Spencer’s distressed expression faded, however, as soon as he saw what she had been looking at in the first place. His eyebrows furrowed and he stepped into the room, the blue light of her monitors reflecting off his glasses.

“Garcia, are those bank statements?”

“Two days ago, Y/N went to the pharmacist at 10 pm. 10! Who goes to the pharmacy that late unless they’re hiding something.” Penelope gestured wildly at the list.

“Or we just got back from a case and she had to refill a prescription?” She scoffed and waved him off.

“Our copay isn’t that good. I only know one thing someone buys for $15 at a pharmacy after 8.” Spencer gave her a puzzled look, “Condoms Dr Reid! Condoms!”

Red bloomed across his cheeks but Penelope continued. “And then I noticed something else, Y/N hasn’t been to a gas station in almost 6 months. Or at least if she has, she hasn’t been paying for gas. So, tell me what that means.”

“Someone has been buying gas for her.” Spencer leaned forward, his hands now planted on the only empty spot on her desk.

“Or…” She prompted.

“Someone’s been driving her around.” His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose.

“Which means…” Penelope gently pressed them back up his face as the realisation dawned upon the genius.

“She has a secret boyfriend.”

——————

“Are we positive that this is a good idea?” Spencer shoved his hands into his suit pants pocket as he nervously looked around the empty hallway. Penelope huffed as she moved the bags of takeout over to her left hand, the numerous bracelets on her wrist jingling.

“Look, either she comes clean and gives us all the details about this mystery beau or we get a nice night in with one of our best friends in the world.” She firmly knocked on the door, stopping any further protest from Spencer.

There was a few seconds of quiet, then a scuffle behind the door. They looked at each other before the lock clicked and your face was between the crack. “Penelope?”

Spencer leaned over so his head was above Garcia’s. Your eyes met his, your frown deepening. “And Spencer. What are you guys doing here?”

Penelope shot a look over her shoulder that screamed ‘I told you so’ before she held up the brown paper bags and gave you a megawatt smile. “There’s a Doctor Who marathon on TV tonight so I thought we could surprise you since it’s been forever since we’ve hung out!”

“I’m not exactly dressed for company. Do you think you could give me a minute?” You glanced at something in your apartment, giving Penelope the opportunity to poke Spencer in the arm.

“Do you think we could come inside to wait, it’s a bit chilly out here.” You sighed. The door opened slowly, revealing your state of half-undress, wearing only a shirt that definitely wasn’t yours and that did nothing to cover the discolouration around your neck that suspiciously looked like hickies. Sweat dotted your hairline, your chest heaved, and the soft, sensual music playing from your speaker was everything that they needed to know.

Penelope’s squeal of victory was swiftly cut off by a man’s arm wrapping around your wide hips and tugging you back from the door, away from their sight. “It seems we’ve been had.” A deep voice rumbled.

“No way.” They were frozen to the spot, left staring at the empty doorway.

“Well, come on in then. Whatever you brought smells good.” Spencer was the first one to move, stumbling over his own feet as he entered the apartment. Penelope followed, a slightly dazed look on her face.

When she finally regained her composure, you had disappeared into the bedroom, leaving one Aaron Hotchner standing in your living room, dressed far more casually than they had ever seen him before, a sly smile on his lips. He took the bags of take out from her and carefully placed them on the coffee table.

He was relaxed, incredibly so. His body language open, his eyes even sparkled when you walked back out of your room, now more dressed than before. Spencer’s brain ticked over as he watched the way your fingers brushed Aaron’s arm, recalling every moment he could where your interactions had been anything more than platonic in the years you had worked for the BAU.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Penelope sounded genuinely heartbroken, which made you break away from Aaron and wrap her up in your arms.

“We wanted to keep it private at first, just to see where it went.”

“And Stauss wouldn’t exactly approve.” Aaron added as he started pulling out the food containers.

“A relationship between the chief of a unit and his subordinate isn’t exactly against any FBI rules but it is frowned upon. Not to mention the over 10 year age gap between the two of you might’ve raised eyebrows.” Spencer perked up, earning a scowl from said older man.

“Yes that too.” He cleared his throat. Your giggle was muffled by Penelope’s hair. She turned around in your embrace to give Aaron a dirty look yet remained clinging to you.

“You’ve stolen her from us, keeping her all to yourself all the time.” Her grip on you tightened. “And buying condoms! Who are you to defile this perfect being.”

Aaron had the audacity to look a little bashful at that, though you caught the flash of a prideful grin before he quickly hid it behind his usual frown. “She is my girlfriend. But, I suppose I have been selfish.”

Spencer had disappeared into your kitchen to look for some plates, but he soon called out to you. “What utensils do you want me to use? There are far too many in this drawer.” You rolled your eyes and pried yourself from Penelope, now leaving her alone with your boyfriend.

Her firm expression didn’t waver. “You love her?”

“Yes.” He answered without hesitation.

“Are you going to ask her to marry you?” Aaron’s brown eyes darted to the kitchen and once he confirmed that you weren’t standing within earshot, he muttered.

“It’s early but yes.”

“You need my approval.” She crossed her arms over her chest but Aaron could clearly see the way she was fighting a smile.

“Of course.” He nodded, popping open a container of dumplings and stealing one.

“Good.” She plopped down onto your couch, evidently all her questions answered, and took the box from him.

“Is that all?”

Her nose scrunched up. “Don’t get ahead of yourself Hotchner, you aren’t off the hook yet. I’m telling everyone you’ve both been lying to us for months.”

“As long as it stays in the BAU.” You piped up, your hands now full of various forks and knives, Spencer trailing after you with plates in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. “We don’t need to kick up a HR investigation just yet.”

“We’ll vouch for you both if it comes to that.” Spencer sat on the edge of the recliner so he could still reach the coffee table. You glided by Aaron, your shoulder purposefully brushing against his as you passed. Penelope patted the couch cushion beside her.

You grabbed the remote control and obeyed her hint, settling into the soft material with a sigh.

“Now go, it’s our turn to get her.” Aaron just rolled his eyes playfully and kissed your forehead gently.

“Have fun you three, I’ll stay out of your hair.” You melted into his touch for just a moment before he pulled himself away to gather his things that he left on his your bedside table. “Although it’s been a while since I’ve spent the night by myself.” He teased.

That earned him a scoff from Garcia. “Go!” He raised his hands in defeat and left the three of you to the pile of food and your show. You accepted the offered plate from Spencer, it was silent save for the low voices from the TV and Aaron’s movements around your bedroom.

Penelope had a pleased smile on her face, pride filling her chest. She had out-profiled a team of profilers before they had even realised something was off. And she had gotten an evening with you and Spencer through her genius. She pressed the side of her thigh against yours as you poured out some wine for each of them.

You grinned at her before you suddenly froze, a thought occurring to you.

“Pen… how did you know I had been buying condoms?”

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phoenixyfriend · 2 years ago

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Do you think "Daphne is the one handling the budget" is at all a popular headcanon for the Mystery Gang?

I like the idea of Daphne pulling out some reading glasses to do the gang's bookkeeping in the shotgun seat on long drives. The bankrolling is definitely Daphne and Shaggy (they're the ones that come from money), but it's probably still a pretty limited amount of money to work with just based on how young they are.

I want to say that Shaggy's money is in some kind of trust until he's 25. Meanwhile, Daphne does have an allowance, which is pretty big since her parents know she's traveling and they may not approve of the company she keeps, but they DO want her to be safe... but it's not enough to just spend willy nilly, considering she's the bulk of the funds for four people and one dog.

Someone has to plan out what they spend on, like... food and hygiene. Trap supplies. Laundromat usage. The occasional motel night if the elements are making 'sleep in the van' a bad idea. Phone plans, depending on the era. Health insurance if their parents don't have them on-plan (depends on the year). Car insurance (legally required). The van is old enough to require maintenance and have a pretty crappy mpg, so the gas budget is pretty high. Yearly inspections and other "let's not get stopped by the cops" stuff. Vet visits (vaccinations, teeth cleaning) for Scooby. Medication for various chronic conditions they may have. Replacing Velma's glasses when they get broken or her prescription changes. Fred's hair gel, which I assume he has. Shaggy's weed stipend. So much sunscreen. Etc.

Like they do have homes to go back to in case they truly run out of money, but it's still a lot to cover, and emergencies on the road do happen.

Modern setting Daphne just does an accounting course online and gets a CPA degree all in service of: 1. Managing the team's money 2. Catching bad guys via audit

(I'd suggest a correspondence course for an older setting but they're always on the move so idk how effective that would be.)

#scooby doo #mystery gang #daphne blake #mystery inc #shaggy rogers #budgeting #phoenix talks

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ms-demeanor · 5 months ago

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So I have vision insurance again which means I was able to go to the optometrist and get glasses through insurance for the first time in 11 years (instead of paying out of pocket and getting glasses from zenni) and here are my notes:

It's *NOT GREAT* that Luxotica is mentioned by name on the insurance card printout

I know everything got more expensive in the last ten years, but frames also got a lot more expensive and for some reason there was a huge gap in prices - my insurance covered $130 for frames and the office had a bunch of frames for $70 and a bunch of frames for $150 but basically no frames between those two price points.

When you say "I can't afford to go over the allowance" on XYZ thing they are not even *considering* the cost of progressive bifocals. So I was like "no coating, cheap frames, no extras" and then they were like "okay so the progressive bifocal is going to be over a hundred dollars more" and I was like "how much is the bifocal with a line" and they were like "oh that's only $15 but we don't consider that appropriate for your age, we recommend this other kind of lens" and it doesn't matter what you consider age appropriate for me, I can't afford that so we're not doing that.

The seventy dollar frames are all kind of trash. Super thin, super bendy, and not in a good "flexible fit" way but more in a "if you fall asleep in these you will wake up with broken glasses" way.

They wrote down my reading prescription wrong? For the last ten years I've been slowly creeping up from +.25 to my current +2.50; they told me it had increased but the printout said +.75 so either my prescription has been wrong for a while or they missed the 2 at the front of that number and my glasses are going to show up with a low magnification. (I noticed after I'd left the office but before the glasses arrived).

Given all of that, with insurance: $25 for a pair of glasses, which included the office copay.

So then of course I went to zenni and ordered glasses anyway because I've been wearing the same frame design for seven years and want another pair that look exactly like that.

Progressive bifocals WERE the most expensive part of the order, and because my prescription is stronger they are getting progressively more expensive - initially the upgrade to bifocal cost something like $30 for a lower magnification, now they're $85 for the stronger prescription.

And that's it, that's the expensive part. Fifteen dollar frames, five dollar anti-reflective coating, total for bifocals was around a hundred dollars; I got a pair of single-vision sunglasses for under $20.

Part of the reason I decided to spend more at zenni than at my optometrist's office was because I was able to get good, sturdy frames that I know fit my face and will survive mosh pits and me falling asleep on them without cracking. In order to get the same thing at the optometrist's office I would have had to pay thirty dollars more for lenses as well as forty more for frames so I would have walked out of there paying more for a pair of glasses with frames that I wasn't super excited about (there was a pair that was *okay* but not great that were similar in construction to my current frames but more bulky and square) than I did for glasses that I know I like and a pair of sunglasses.

I did end up paying less out of pocket for the visit than I would have without the insurance, and $15 for a pair of back-up glasses isn't bad. But it was all-in-all a frustrating experience.

However: I've been wearing the same pair of glasses for three years and the anti-reflective coating is worn away in some places and they're so scratched that they're impossible to actually clean in some places and large bastard looked through them last week and was like "OH! No wonder you can't tell when you need to clean your windshield! You don't get to drive at night until those are replaced" so no matter what glasses I'm wearing next week they're going to be an improvement.

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coquettetoji · 1 year ago

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{ 🪩 } EREN JEAGER MOODBOARD

★ general eren hcs ★

— hot type of nerdy * defo majors in computer science

— my boy by billie eilish coded

— has hot hands ( the veiny kind with long fingers but his hands defo aren’t abnormally huge 💀 ¡ALSO WEARS RINGS! )

— probably smells like weed, mint gum, and expensive cologne. i’m thinking creed aventus with a woody type of scent

— has a silver chain, not gold obvi 👎 defo does the tiktok arm leaning against door frame chain dangling pose

— solid 6’2 maybe 6’3 depending on shoes and lean muscular

— emotion damaging fuck boy (takes ‘hurt people hurt people’ on a whole nother level but he’s hot so who cares?)

— drives a blacked out camaro with tinted windows bc uh

— doesn’t vape, but will always occasionally smoke weed

— gym bro with a sleeper build * bench is probably 265-270 and rubs it in armin’s face atleast once a week

— has 1 playlist because he listens to spotifys default made daily mixes 💀 ( daily mix 4 is always his go to )

— his actual playlist consists of the most overplayed main stream indie songs but then has rnb songs with 3k listens per month mainly from eren that lowk hit?

— mama’s boy and likes cats > dogs

— doberman boy

— has his snapchat in his insta bio with the ghost emoji next to it

— can play guitar and surprisingly well, favorite song to play is sparks by coldplay

— wears prescription clear frame glasses with the blue light lenses on them at night but wears contacts during the day

— all his $$$ comes from stocks, doesn’t have a job but is so smart when it comes to shit like that **defo has one of those metal credit cards that clink against tables 😏

— has dimples on his lower back and deep smile lines with that joker type of smile lol hot

— 3.8 gpa, math and science smart but not reading/english smart

— has a black phone with a clear case, black background, and his most used app is tiktok and messages

— wears street wear, wife beaters, baggy jeans, graphic tees, expensive sneakers, and cargos

— brown / green eyes, show more when they’re in the sun

— has a single diamond piercing on his right ear bc he’s slutty like that

{💌} new message from mica

hopefully this wasn’t a horrible first post bc i’m new to this whole thing, i’ll figure things out after a couple youtube tutorials >:)

i will gladly go emo for eren omfg he’s such a *moan*

SETTING THIS WHOLE BLOG UP SOON I PROMISE 😛

#eren x reader #aot x reader #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren fluff #eren headcanons #aot headcanons #aot #eren jaeger x reader #moodboard #aot moodboard #aot fluff #attack on titan #eren smau #eren x you #eren x y/n #aot fanfiction #aot smau

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bradshawssugarbaby · 1 year ago

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High On Lovin' You - Bob Floyd x Reader

a/n: this is an entirely self-indulgent fic inspired by a dream I had the other day, not beta read and may have some errors? I tried y'all. also inspired by h.o.l.y. by florida georgia line

pairing: bob floyd x wife! reader

warnings/content: bob as a dad, mentions of pregnancy, breeding kink, p in v, creampie, smut, fingering.

word count: 2.1k

The Californian breeze was warm and refreshing as it blew in off the coast of Coronado, brushing against your skin. You followed Bob up the brick-laden steps of Rooster’s seaside home, your daughter, Sunday, balancing on Bob’s hip as he jogged up the steps. You couldn’t help but admire the way he managed to make something as mundane as running up a couple of steps holding a baby effortlessly attractive.

His sandy coloured hair had been brushed back slightly, a change from his normal, military-approved style, and his wire framed glasses had been replaced with a pair of prescription aviator sunglasses. His baby blue polo shirt hugged his figure, accentuating his toned chest, his biceps flexing against the sleeve of the shirt as he held Sunday. He’d dressed her this morning, in a baby blue gingham dress that matched the hue of his shirt perfectly, with her curly blonde hair pulled back off her forehead with a coordinating headband, adorned with a bow.

“You ready to go see Uncle Roo, Sunny?” Bob cooed at your daughter, stroking her cheek gently with his index finger as he spoke to her.

Sunday giggled and cooed at her father as the three of you walked around to the side gate of the house. Bob reached around over the gate door to unlatch it, and as you watched him, you couldn’t help but notice that his normally slender build was appearing more and more muscular and toned. You knew that Bob had been spending a lot more time with Rooster lately, and by extension, Hangman, who’d convinced all the guys to start hitting the gym with him before trainings under the guise of “team-building” but you were convinced it was because he didn’t want to work out alone anymore. The gym sessions combined with carrying an almost toddler around were enough to have an impact on Bob’s upper body strength.

Bob looked over to you for a moment, flashing you a smile before walking up to Rooster with a firm handshake and a hug. Bob set Sunday down on the grass to play, watching as she started playing. He’d insisted on giving you a break for the day, feeling guilty for spending the last week and a half working overtime and putting in longer hours as they trained for an upcoming mission. You knew there was no use in arguing with him about it, and the extra time spent with Sunday meant the world to him. Besides that, something about seeing Bob take on the role of doting dad was driving you crazy with arousal, and you were going to make sure you did something about it later tonight.

“Sunday, come here, honey!” Bob called as he chased after your now very active and mobile 11 month old daughter.

Later that night, you watched as your husband whispered goodnight to your baby daughter over the monitor on your phone, your heart fluttering at the sight of him leaning his tall, slender frame down to kiss his little girl on the forehead, murmuring sweet sayings to her that were barely audible over the noise of the sound machine that was playing.

“Ok, I think Sunday’s finally gone down for the night. They aren’t kidding when they say that sleep regressions are the worst, are they?” Bob chuckled as he bounded down the stairs, shaking his head as he gently wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in tightly towards his body.

“Have I told you yet that you’re the best husband in the world?”

“You might have mentioned it earlier when she spat up on my shirt right before Rooster’s party for his promotion, but I’d be ok with hearing it again.”

A cocksure grin appeared on Bob’s face as he nuzzled into your neck, placing soft, gentle kisses against the curvature of your body. A soft, surprised moan fell from your lips as his mouth made contact with your skin, but that was all the encouragement Bob needed to start kissing a trail from the top of your shoulder up to your ear. His movements were playful and light-hearted, but he knew that was what drove you wild. His hands caressed at your waist, sliding down to your hips as he pulled you in closer to him with a gentle yank, the curves of your ass now pressed firmly against his body. You could feel the fabric of his dress pants beginning to tighten against you as he began hiking up the skirt of your dress, giving your ass a firm squeeze.

“Bobby!” You giggled, shaking your head as you felt your heart race as if this was your first time being intimate with him.

That was the thing you loved about Bob, he made every time feel as great as the first - the passion, love and excitement of when you’d spent your first night together, recaptured as if it was happening all over again. Bob had always been a passionate lover - your first night together he’d sheepishly confessed to you that he’d only ever had one girlfriend before, and he dated her throughout his high school years until he graduated and left for the Naval academy at 18. He’d been worried that his lack of variety in the field had made him inadequate, and he assured you that, if there was anything he was doing that you wanted him to do differently, he’d learn it for you. It’d been nothing short of perfect - you teased him that he must have been reading Cosmopolitan or something to know all the right places to touch you and kiss you, to which he just shrugged, pushing his glasses up on his nose with a grin.

Since that day, it was clear to you that Bob was a people pleaser, and there was no one on earth who he wanted to please more than you.

“You looked so hot in that dress today, babe. You’re stunning, you know that?” He purred into your ear as he continued to run his hands along your body, his breath hot on your neck as he spoke in that low, seductive tone he knew drove you crazy.

“Robert Floyd, you’re pushing it,” you teased, shaking your head.

“Now, now, darlin’, that’s Lieutenant Commander Robert Floyd. If you’re gonna use my full name, better be using that rank too, got it, pretty girl?”

You gave Bob a mock salute, a shit-eating grin on your face as you looked at him. Bob pulled you in closer, holding your hips firmly against him, your dress hiked up to your midsection as he gave your sides a gentle squeeze, his fingers digging into your flesh ever-so-slightly as he held you. Grinding your hips against his, you grinned wickedly as Bob let out a groan. He spun you around quickly to face him, his blonde eyebrows raised quizzically at you. His bright, deep blue eyes were locked on yours and you felt like you might melt right there on the spot.

“Now, a pretty girl like you, she deserves to be treated right by her husband, doesn’t she?” Bob hummed, his fingers toying with your inner thigh.

“Mhmm, is that so?”

“That’s what I reckon,” Bob smirked, his accent shifting, becoming thicker as he slipped into his natural Kentucky drawl, his fingers brushing against your wet slit.

“Bobby!” You hissed, unable to stop the soft gasp that came out of your mouth with it.

“I think, since you do such a good job taking care of Sunday and I, I should return the favor, don’t you?”

Before you could open your mouth to speak, Bob pushed two of his long fingers past your folds, pumping them into your core at a tantalizing slow pace that left you practically aching for more. He smirked as his fingers worked at your core, feeling your body clench at the movement of his hand.

“Fuck, Bobby,” you mewled, feeling yourself tensing up at his touch, “Feels s’good.”

Bob pulled his fingers out of you, your body aching at the loss of contact. He stood upright, quickly undoing his belt at a break-neck pace. He smirked as he noticed you biting your bottom lip, watching him as he shimmied quickly out of his khaki coloured dress pants and boxer shorts. Reaching into the pocket of the now discarded pants on the floor, he pulled out a shiny foil square of packaging. As he started to open it, you shook your head, whispering in his ear, your voice in a breathy whine as you spoke.

“We don’t need to use that if you don’t want to, baby. I wanna feel you.”

“That so, baby? Thought you wanted at least two years between kids?” He laughed softly, raising an eyebrow quizzically at you.

“I know what I said. That was before I saw you handling Sunday so well at Rooster’s this afternoon. Now I’m thinking 20 months is good enough,” you replied with a shrug, your lips curling into a smirk as you tried to convince your normally level-headed and rational thinking husband to forgo any form of contraception.

Bob furrowed his brow in thought for a moment before tossing the condom wrapper behind him with a grin.

“What the hell, I’m on board,” He shrugged as he lifted you up, causing you to squeal in surprise as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

Bob carried you effortlessly over to the couch before dropping you gently down on to the leather sectional. He grinned as he hovered down over you, lining himself up with your entrance. He dragged the tip of his cock against you in a teasing manner, causing you to shudder and whine as you felt him make contact with your clit. He gave you a wicked grin as he watched you squirm before gently pushing himself forward. He paused for a moment for you to adjust to his size - something you should be used to by now, but yet, each time your body needed that extra moment or two to stretch around him.

“That’s it, pretty girl, taking my cock so well,” Bob cooed as he pushed himself further into you, maintaining the slow pace he’d begun with.

“Bobby,” you whined as he filled you, your fingers gripping his shoulders tightly.

Bob began thrusting into you at a leisurely, slow pace, his voice low and husky as he grunted in your ear, reminding you of how good you feel, how you were all his, and how your body felt like it was practically made for him. You squirmed and shuddered with each thrust becoming harder and sharper, perfectly calculated to hit exactly where you wanted each time, something that was to be expected of a man who’s job entailed precision and skill when it comes to angles.

“You feel so fucking fantastic, honey. Can’t wait to put another baby in ya. That’s what you want, isn’t it baby? Want me to give you another baby?”

Bob’s hips crashed into yours repeatedly as he thrusted, his sharp, quick movements beginning to grow sloppier as he edged closer to his orgasm. You tossed your head back in ecstasy as he bucked his hips into you, the combination of his words and his movements just about pushing you to your orgasm.

“C’mon honey, tell me what you want from me,” Bob husked.

“Need you to put a baby in me, please, Bobby,” you cried out, unable to hold back any longer as his latest thrust pushed you to your boiling point.

As if your words flipped a switch inside of him, Bob’s hips bucked forward once more as he grunted, spilling out inside of you as your body clenched around him tightly.

Breathless and panting as you both rode out your orgasms, Bob couldn’t help but laugh as he looked at you, shaking his head.

“So what was it about my parenting that got you worked up?” He smirked, unable to shake the grin off his face as he leaned down to kiss your collarbone.

“Honestly?”

“Honestly, I know something got you worked up today, and I doubt it was the backyard barbecue at Rooster’s.”

“Your biceps have gotten huge from carrying Sunday around everywhere, and with the polo shirt and the aviators today, and you were all proud of yourself for coordinating your outfit with Sunday’s, it was a combination of things, but,” you breathed, shaking your head as you grinned, “imagine how you’ll look balancing two toddlers on your hip.”

#bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x you #bob floyd x wife reader #robert bob floyd x you #robert bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x wife reader #bob floyd #robert bob floyd #bob floyd smut #robert bob floyd smut #robert floyd #robert floyd x you #robert floyd x reader

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mosselines · 18 days ago

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this did modest numbers on tiktok, i hope y’all like it too! here’s my…

✨dazai headcanons✨

but they’re all rlly specific & weird

(coming from a cosplayer who’s been in the fandom since 2016)

he has an astigmatism that went untreated for so long he’s now partially blind in his right eye. he needs glasses but hates his old pm pair and never wears them in public. he’s too lazy to get his prescription renewed/hates going to the doctor so they’re not even up to date for his vision

that’s why he’s a bad driver— he can’t fucking see

he drives/reads better if he closes one eye

mori forced him to get braces after he formally joined the port mafia. he had a lisp for the first few months and would blackmail ppl if he did it in front of them

he hid his bad vision for a long time, but mori eventually noticed and forced him to get glasses too. he fucking hated wearing them and “accidentally” kept breaking each new pair mori got

after that, mori got him contacts but he would lie and throw them out just to be defiant (totally not bc they squicked him out)

he originally started wearing his bandages because no one would touch him bc of his ability

he has awful tan lines bc of his bandages, his face and hands are tanner than the rest of his body, but since the sun can permeate light clothing/bandages he also has random splotchiness all over his body, especially his shoulders, arms, & back

in 15, dazai got so excited he was 5 cm taller than chuuya bc he was always the one being bullied for being short/malnourished before they met

at 16, chuuya grew slightly faster than dazai and started teasing him. dazai freaked out and started wearing lifts for a brief period of time. he was researching poisoning techniques to reduce growth right before he finally got his own growth spurt <3

he has chronic insomnia and is a scarily light sleeper. usually gets anywhere from 3-6 hours of sleep a night

he constantly has dark circles under his eyes as a result

whenever he shares a bed with chuuya, he’ll sleep twice as long as normal. at first, chuuya would get mad bc he was a huge brat to try and wake up, but now he lets dazai sleep in as long as he wants

his sense of taste is abysmal, which is why he likes really salty/spicy food. they’re the only flavors he can actually taste

he doesn’t decorate or furnish his ADA apartment because he’s scared that once he gets attached to the place, it’ll get taken away

he constantly beats himself up for not thinking to take odasaku’s coat with him. he bought his current one because it looked similar

he refuses to touch any of his pm salary, so it’s just kept accruing interest and is actually obscene at this point. he asked ango to “handle it” and cover banking stuff under the condition he gets to take out any expenses he wants. it irritates ango to no end that dazai won’t do anything with it

the day kunikida finds out about dazai’s pm bank account will be dazai’s final day on this earth

when he was 15 he was unironically into screamo bc “it screams for me when i can’t.” thought linkin park was super hardcore & his favorite song was “numb” (fucking loser)

he NEVER brushes his hair. like he doesn’t even own a fucking hairbrush or comb until chuuya has a conniption over it and starts keeping one at his apartment

whenever chuuya tries to brush his hair, it’s like trying to wrangle a feral cat. they’ve gotten in physical fights over it that always end with dazai pouting for the next hour while chuuya laughs at how flat his head looks without the rat’s nest

uses dollar store 9-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/bodywash/motor oil. it’s ocean breeze scented! :)

he’s had the same fake driver’s license since he was 15 and never bothered to get a real one

he actually has decent medical training from spending so much time as mori’s apprentice. about the same level as a battle medic would have. capable of stitching wounds & performing surgery, but not as good as yosano even without her ability

yosano has tried to reach out and bond with him about their shared pasts a few times, but he always comes up with an excuse to leave. she eventually gave up on asking

one time, he got badly wounded and had to be treated by yosano. she had to sedate him because her ability doesn’t work on him, and he called her mori the whole time. he doesn’t remember, but she never forgot and stopped trying to spend time with him

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rustedleopard · 3 days ago

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Going insane thinking about my headcanons for how Ceroba and Starlo met and became best friends.

I hc that they met in kindergarten and Ceroba had initially started off by bullying Starlo because she was perpetuating the cruelty that her parents had taught her. Ceroba's parents weren't very good people who picked apart all of Ceroba's faults and were just. Abusive in general. So of course that's what she picked up from them. And when she sees this nerdy star-monster with coke bottle glasses that are at a prescription that would let a normal person see god, she's like "Ah, yes. I must be mean to him." And starts harassing him by stealing his lunches and calling him names and tripping him.

And Starlo is a quiet and unobtrusive kid, so he doesn't bring up that he's getting bullied (or maybe he does once or twice but it never goes anywhere) and eventually one of these instances ends in a physical altercation that gets both of them sent to the principal's office and their parents are called in. And Starlo's parents are deeply concerned because it's out of character for their kid to be fighting; this is kindergarten, not a WWE match. They're happy that he's fine but still. They're concerned about him and if any future instances of bullying will be prevented. They're advocating for their kid. And meanwhile Ceroba's parents are formal and stiff in a way that has him intimidated. Just looking them in the eyes has him clamming up. At her parents' orders, Ceroba apologizes but her apology comes out as a drone. Her parents promise that this won't happen again. And then they're dismissed.

And as Starlo is leaving with his parents, who are still fretting over him, he looks over his shoulder and sees one of Ceroba's parents give her a sharp tug on the ear and say something that has her flinching. And he just. Feels awful for her. Even though she'd made his life hell from the moment he met her.

And the next day, he shows up for lunch with an extra sandwich in his bag and gives it to her and is like, "If I knew you were hungry, I wouldn't have gotten mad at you for taking my lunch." And Ceroba is like, "You dummy, I wasn't taking your lunches because I was hungry." But accepts it anyways because her parents sent her to bed without dinner last night as punishment so she's hungry. And in the span of a week, their friendship evolves into genuine camaraderie. Starlo drags Ceroba over to his house to hang out and his parents are like, "Hey, isn't that the girl who was bullying you?" And Starlo is like, "Yeah but we're over it now. We made friendship bracelets together during arts and crafts, see?" And Solomon and Crestina just roll with it. Every time someone harasses Starlo like she used to, Ceroba beats them up/drives them off and is like, "Don't listen to those losers when they say things like that, they're a bunch of idiots who don't know better. You're amazing, Starlo."

Starlo was the one to teach Ceroba kindness and that she didn't have to be like her parents. Without Starlo in her life, Ceroba would have been a much colder, crueler person. And likewise, Ceroba helped instill Starlo with enough confidence in himself that he was willing to explore his passions and open up the Wild East despite the naysayers. Without Ceroba in his life, Starlo would have been working on the family farm, not content with his life and hiding his interest in westerns from the rest of the world. Their friendship made both of them better people.

#it's butt 'o clock in the morning so forgive me if this post is more run on/slightly incoherent.#i need to sleep but these two have me in a chokehold #char: starlo #char: ceroba ketsukane #i kinda wish the game told us how they met and became friends bc starlo and ceroba are so different from each other but whatever.#my city now #staroba #<- i suppose. this isn't really approached from the romance angle though #though i guess there is the whole thing with how this parallels c/erojin where that story has a romantic sounding first meeting #but the relationship is unhealthy. meanwhile this relationship starts off terribly but turns into a great romance/friendship

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spoopieere · 22 days ago

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A collection of my Asa Emory headcanons [PART 1]: Shit he does to his body and his stupid bodily quirks <3

I need y'all to see the version of Asa in my mind :3

RULE OF THUMB: Asa is autistic. I do not take criticisms on this.

Asa bites his lips a lot, peeling off the skin of his bottom lip, either by biting or picking with his hand in general. He does so because he is either bored, anxious, or stimming. It goes to a point where his lip would bleed, and scars, which causes little black spots to form on his bottom lip. --

His teeth is slightly crooked. A bit yellow too. But his dental hygiene is on point, he flosses everyday, and does everything he can to avoid having to go to the dentist. Because the idea of some stranger digging around in his mouth makes him anxious. I think he was afraid of going to the dentist as a child and it persisted until adulthood, which is why he didn't get braces for his crooked teeth. But I think he also applies that fear by inficting it on his victims instead, because even HE thinks it's scary. --

His eyes look like that due to a birth defect. He was blind for the first few years of his life, which made his hearing develop way more than the average person. Even after the surgery, his vision is still affected and he has to wear aiding eye-contacts to see properly, or else everything would just be blurry to him. Sometimes trade the contacts for prescription glasses. --

Asa smokes, sure, but he doesn't do it often. He'd mostly have one or two cigs during long periods of working/planning. You won't catch him smoking anywhere else that isn't the hotel, his home, or behind the university at night. --

Asa doesn't like being seen/watched while he's eating. Asa has a weird relationship with eating i guess. He hates eating in the presence of people who he doesn't trust. He thinks the sight of his chewing makes him look clumsy, or "not up the image he made for himself" infront of the people who looks up to him (or afraid of him). --

Which is why bro fucking eats his lunch in his car during lunchbreaks at the university. God forbid you dare find him while he's chewing on his food, he might just put you in the collection for that reason alone. --

Stims very quietly, usually goes unnoticed. He'll stim by flicking his tongue inside his mouth, or does light tapping with his hand under the table, wriggling his toes also works. When he gets happy and needs to stim, he'd just stare into the distance with a fuckass smile on his face, before walking around aimlessly. He'd try to make sense of the walking by sitting down, and try to do something, but would end up getting up to walk around again. Rinse and repeat until the excitement fades. --

Hates sudden and/or prolonging loud noises. --

Asa loves the rain, but absolutely hates the sound of it. If it gets too loud, he's putting on ear muffs. But due this hatred, it makes it very hard for him to drive home during rainstorms bc the sound of rain is amplified in his car. So usually he'd choose between waiting for the rain to calm down; Ask someone to drive him home so he can have his earmuffs on during the ride; If it's at the university, he'd just sleep in his office. (Asa has a stash of his stuff in his office at the univeristy, just in case he has to stay there overnight) --

Absolutely has a 2nd job or does some shady shit at the side. Because I refuse to believe he has the money to afford all that gear, resources, materials and drugs for his Collection, with a Uni Prof's salary. (His pest control business might be a front for money laundering lmao /j) --

At night, while it rains, Asa would brew Jasmine tea before bed to help him sleep. --

Light sleeper. Will literally wakes up to anything that sounds out-of-place. He also sleeps straight like a log, hands on stomach and all. God forbid he has a stuffy nose or else he'll snore for the neighbors to hear. --

He eats primarily simple, easy and and quick-to-make food due to his... busy schedule *cough*. This also includes frozen dinners, takeouts and left-overs. But he tries to cook at home whenever he can. --

Asa only visit a specific restaurant for a specific dish, he will not order anything else, nor would he go to any other restaurant for that dish. He can taste it whenever the recipe for the dish changes, to which he will evaluate and decide whether he should stick to the same restaurant for that dish anymore. --

He judges a restaurant based on their mashed potatoes. I will not elaborate. --

Asa likes mushroom cream soup :3 --

Fav flavour of ice-cream is pistachio :3 --

It is also mentioned in an interview ( I can't fucking find it yet ) that Asa is a coffee snob, so I won't be surprised if he wakes up at 5AM just to make his morning coffee to perfection. --

His hands aren't as smooth as one like to think. They feel a bit sandy and rough. Stiff. You need to slightly squeeze in order to feel the squishiness of his flesh. This is primarily due to his exposure to chemicals, and all the disinfectant damaged some of his skin. --

Sleeper build. He may look stocky and a bit blurby, but he got good muscles under all that fat hehe. All that hauling and carrying and running and killing and torturing people leaves him exercised enough lol --

Nature, history, science,... documentaries are his go-tos, he'd even listen to some podcasts or audiobooks about them as he works on other projects. Currently subscribed to AntsCanada on Youtube. --

His guilty pleasure is watching shitty reality TV shows and judging the contestants' skills. --

Hypochondriac. He especially does not want to die from a random stroke. --

Hygiene must be on point. He shaves regularly, but his bush does get kinda crazy. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE STOP HIM FROM ERASING HIS HAPPY TRAIL PLEA- --

Asa dresses like his father. He doesn't want to admit it, nor does he realize it, but he dresses like his father. Denims, jeans, trousers and old dress shirts... His style hasn't changed much over the years. Because it is the "appropriate" style for men like him to wear, apparently. One of the few clothing items he ever strays away from that dress-code is his signature turtleneck. He has like 6 of them in the same color. --

His daily life is a constant carousel of tasks he NEEDS to get done. They don't have to be on time, they just need to be done. Or else he'd get very upset. One can say that his life is motivated by tasks. Once he ran out of tasks to do, he'd just make up one to distract himself. Even resting, is a task. Because he knows if he doesn't choose a time to rest, his body will do it for him. One can even say that Asa is dependent on these tasks to keep going, or do things "on time". For example: He wakes up at 5AM on the weekends, because there are plants that NEEDS HIM to water them. And because of these plants, he is able to wake up at 5AM on the weekends. --

Gets hurt more than he'd like to admit. But most of the time it's just small injuries or cuts, or him bumping into something. Nothing too dangerous. He knows how to keep himself safe from the maze he built at the hotel and avoid all the neccessary attacks from his victims, and that's enough. --

His favourite weekend activity is catching, pinning new INSECT specimens, and visiting the local museum- which he had already visited hundreds of times, and can recite most of the descriptions word for word. --

He gets jealous of the families outside his window sometimes. Whenever he sees them, he'd just draw the curtains close. --

He lives in the same house his family was murdered in. (Buying a house??? in this economy???) He just renovated the first floor, the 2nd floor is almost untouched. He sleeps in his parents' old bedroom. His sibling's bedroom got turned into storage. His childhood bedroom is behind a bookshelf. The layout is the same, but he moved the kitchen and livingroom to a different area. He can still recall where he saw his mother's and sibling's body laid. He put storage boxes and crates over those spots.

That's all i can remember for now lmaooo, might come back from time to time to update it :333 -More parts abt other aspects of Asa coming... soon >:)

#rottingcitrus #slasher #slashers #asa emory #the collector #the collector 2009 #the collection 2012 #headcanon #headcannons #writing

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