#pregnacyloss

[jamisonsmommy-blog]

[ladylenaonair]

There is no pain like losing a baby, and a local nonprofit is doing its part to provide comfort to grieving families. Featured: @MetroDetroitShare By: Darlene A. White (@LadyLenaOnAir) Read More: DetroitNews.con #PregnacyLoss #InfantLoss #MetroDetroutShare #NonProfit #Grief #griefsupport #earlypregnancyloss #supportgroup #Michigan #MetroDetroit #stillborn #supportsmallbusinesses #AngieWinton (at Detroit, Michigan) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc2swz0O4rA/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[estefiroberts-blog]

My baby boy: Thank you for bringing such beautiful melody into my life. Noah Eliot, you keep my song in tune, I love you! 💚🎵🎶 #14weeksmiscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesurvivor #miscarriage #latemiscarriage #miscarriageblog #miscarriagesupport #pregnacyloss

[rchayward]

Light a candle October 15th at 7pm in your time zone and join the #waveOfLight for international pregnacy and infant loss awareness day. #waveoflight2018 #pregnacyloss #babyloss #october15th #iam1in4 #lightacandle (at CargoGlitter SOT) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo80U98BVta/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=epjxt2l8yttd

[chezza-xoxo]

Thank you Tracey Butcher for making our Starfish a baulball ❤️😍💔 x #BabyLoss #EctopicLoss #PregnacyLoss

[ampedlife360]

Thank you @ericammcafee for being a light and sharing your story as well as the stories of others. I Thank you for sharing this knowledge and spreading awareness. #pregnacyloss #infantloss #share #loss #miscarriage #awarenessmonth

[alisontheauthor]

Healing

I got my first tattoo when I was nineteen years old. The tattoo was my friend Sarah’s initials; she had passed away in a car accident when we were thirteen years old. I always knew that was going to be my first tattoo so I patiently waited six years until I was legally allowed to get it. I even had my brother Andrew draw it to make it that much more unique. For me, it was a way of remembering, but also healing. After your go through something like that it takes a long time to heal, there may always be a scar, but in my opinion time does heal all wounds. The problem was after that first tattoo, I was hooked. My next tattoo was a heart on my wrist for my grandparents, then I got “Because I knew you” in my mom’s handwriting on my shoulder, and finally “Infragilis et tenera” (unbreakable and tender) on the outside of my right forearm. I really thought after that last one, I was done. Sure, I always thought of more tattoos I wanted to get, but then life got in the way; we bought a house, we adopted a dog, and finally after months of trying, I got pregnant. I kind of just figured maybe one day I will get another one, but obviously not now. Then, nine weeks later I was told my baby didn’t have a heartbeat anymore and I had to have a D&C. Saying it was a hard time in my life is a gross understatement. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. It was traumatizing, heartbreaking, and it changed me forever.

A month after my D&C, my birthday rolled around. Everyone knows how much I love my birthday, but this year I couldn’t care less. I was actually dreading it because I was supposed to be pregnant, I was supposed to be glowing and happy. I was far from it. It was a really hard birthday for me; the week before was filled with anxiety and anger whereas the day of was just filled with pure sadness. The morning of my birthday, my friend Brittany texted me and told me, “Your birthday present is a tattoo so whenever you’re ready, we will go.” All of a sudden, I felt a little stir of excitement about the prospect of another tattoo. I immediately started thinking of ideas. I always wanted to get an arrow because of the quote that went something like “When life pulls you back it is getting ready to launch you into something great,” but I wasn’t entirely sold on it.

Then a couple months later, to my complete surprise, I got pregnant again. I stopped thinking about the tattoo and started thinking about the baby. This pregnancy was different though. I was filled with so much anxiety, fear, and uncertainty. I now knew just how many things could go wrong. I tried to be patient and work through all of these emotions I was feeling. It wasn’t easy, but I made it to the eight week ultrasound. I was out of my mind by the time we arrived at the doctor’s office, terrified of bad news. I just wanted to hear a heartbeat and breathe a sigh of relief. When the doctor entered the room, we began the ultrasound. Again, it was quiet, too quiet. She explained the baby never made it past the first few weeks of development and I would have to have a second D&C to evacuate the uterus.

I was devastated that this was happening again, that I had to have another D&C and although it wasn’t easy, I have to admit it was much less jarring than last time. This time I had Kyle with me, I knew what to expect, and I had a couple of therapy sessions under my belt to deal with the after shock. I was determined to make this time different, to come out of it strong and hopeful as opposed to scared and broken. After my surgery, we spoke with the doctor and she explained a myriad of tests that we could do later on in an attempt to figure out why this was happening and to make sure that I was healthy and ready to conceive again. It made me feel better to have a plan in place and to hear her comforting words. When I got home from the hospital everyone asked what they could do to help me feel better. So I texted my friend’s Brittany and Heather and said, “Let’s go get those tattoos girls.” It’s hard to explain or maybe just hard for people to understand, but I have so many reasons for getting this tattoo. I wanted to do it in memory of the babies I’ve lost, as a reminder that if I am strong enough to make it through this I can make it through anything, and as a symbol of hope that one day I will be able to have a happy & healthy baby.

After weeks of deliberation, I finally figured out exactly what tattoo I wanted to get; a lotus flower. The first time I read the different meanings of the flower I started to tear up. It was like I had described to someone everything I had been through the past year and they said, “Ok, then the lotus flower is for you”. It is exactly what I wanted and needed. The most basic meaning for this beautiful flower that grows from the mud is something good coming from something bad. You can go through hard times, have people hurt you, experience heartbreak and trauma and still have something beautiful and rewarding come from it; maybe not today, maybe not in a year from now, but one day.

When I told my mom that I was going to do it she said, “I hope it hurts!” - her way of saying I’m not really pumped about you getting another tattoo but I support it nonetheless. I said, “It can’t hurt more than what I have gone through this year.” The loss of my job, the loss of close friends, the loss of my pregnancies; it all happened in such a short time frame. I never truly had a chance to recover from one thing before another happened (which my therapist explained, was one of the reasons for the panic attacks) This year may have been challenging, heartbreaking, difficult, terrifying, but at the same time it was so full of love. I have experienced so much love and support from family, friends, and even total strangers. Knowing I have that is so major; it is a big part of being able to heal.

I take life day by day and just try to appreciate everything I have when all I want to do is cry and give up. Honestly, some days it is all just too much to handle and I just want to sit around and feel sorry for myself - but I keep fighting. I refuse to give up. Kyle and I are going to keep trying to have a baby, I am going to keep writing, I am going to continue to grow my friendships, and I am going to stay positive and hopeful that things will all work out the way they are supposed to. My lotus flower tattoo is a reminder of that and a step in the direction of healing for me. You may not understand, you may not like it, you may ask me “But how will it look when you’re in your wedding dress?!?!” Too late for that one! At the end of the day, I didn’t do this for anyone else, but myself because it’s time for me to start healing.

[lx420]

I held an angel.

[hellopandaemma]

The only picture I have of my first pregnancy

[jamisonsmommy-blog]

I’ll be completely changing my tumblr to dedicate it to my son in heaven Jamison. I lost my baby boy at 5 weeks pregnant. It’s been a hard road, and one of the hardest parts is not having a way to share his memory. So I’m doing that here. I’m giving my baby the voice he never had. And I’ll be here to support and welcome any other angel mommies and daddies out there wanting to remember and give their angels a voice and be open to sharing their stories and memories❤️💙👼🏻

[borntooearlyborntoosmall]

This is the sad truth and sadly I experienced it when I lost my little girl. Its sad and just something else we have to deal with.. sad reality

[estefiroberts-blog]

Every year we get one day to stop and give Thanks. Family, friends, health, a job, are among the things most people are so, so thankful for. Those are things I am thankful for as well, but I have to admit, it is easy to focus on the 31 week belly that is not there... I am missing my baby, a lot. But I am thankful for him. Thankful for my Noah Eliot. For meeting, loving him and being his mommy. I am thankful I will see him again. So I am most Thankful for salvation, for Jesus and for the Hope we have in Him... Wishing everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving! #thanksgiving2017 #miscarriage #grievingmother #pregnacyloss #lossmama #holidays #jesus #hope

[rchayward]

Light a candle October 15th at 7pm in your time zone and join the #waveOfLight for international pregnacy and infant loss awareness day. #waveoflight2018 #pregnacyloss #babyloss #october15th #iam1in4 #lightacandle (at RCHpaintings) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo80eQUB_IS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ixgsk9nf5n2n

[estefiroberts-blog]

16 weeks since we said hello and goodbye... feels like yesterday, feels like forever ago... grief has a way of making time so relative... ... I am so blessed to have said Hello to you my little Noah, I wish I didn’t have to say goodbye so soon, but for you, I would go through that pain over again... ...I️ love you mi bebe... I will see you again... and I will never have to say goodbye... #miscarriage #grief #latemiscarriage #14weekmiscarriage #angelbaby #death #hellogoodbye #Noah #pregnacyloss

[estefiroberts-blog]

Remembering my baby boy while vacationing on the spot we got engaged! #BrysonCity #DeepCreek #14weeksmiscarriage #miscarriage #pregnacyloss #miscarriageblog #miscarriagesucks #engagement #latemiscarriage #Repost @estefiroberts ・・・ Dear Noah, This is where daddy proposed to mommy three years, 9 months ago (we carved our initials somewhere on this bridge). I always dreamed of bringing our babies here one day. I am so sad you'll never get to see this place with your little eyes. Daddy got down on one knee and we promised each other to be together forever, in the good times and bad times. We didn't know what was ahead of us... you have been the most beautiful and most painful time in our marriage. I was always grateful for saying "yes" in this place, as it got me to marry your daddy... today I am so much more grateful for saying yes, because marrying your daddy ultimately lead me to being your mommy. And that, Noah, is the greatest title I will ever have... "Happy" two months baby boy... 😇💚 (at Deep Creek Tube Center & Campground)

[estefiroberts-blog]

Storms are scary, and so is life! Click on my bio for a new post about what #hurricaneirma taught me about the death of my son! #miscarriage #pregnacyloss #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageblog #14weeksmiscarriage #grief #iam1in4 #loss #hurricane