#prank is so gay for Bam like help

[megatruxfr]

Also, they are married

Look at these goofs

My urge to write fanfics about them i unreal

I mean Prank doesnt really seem okay but still-

Also this is the best pic i ever took of these two:

I love how Prank is just having the time of his life and Bam is like: 😠

[gayjackass]

Thank u so much for asking i NEED to get this out of my chest LMAOO

OK SO

Knox: he will be an alicorn or at least a unicorn. It would be easier to do stunts having magic and flying around. Also can help him to torture his friends on stunts and pranks.

Steve-o: he's silly enough he doesn't need magic or flying to be sillier, hes just steve-o y'know.

Chris: i see him like in wildboyz so Imagine Tarzan but instead of swinging on vines he just flies around really fast (like Daring Do from MLP)

Bam: Gay unicorn. Thats it. (Also: this pic)

Preston: idk i think hes just whismical in some way, he have magic.

Ryan: thinking about him being a unicorn maybee but i think hes just so pretty he doesn't need it at all. Ryan you smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad.

Ehren: LOOK. hes danger ehren, the safety-first guy. He have wings because he does CRAZY STUFF and always is in high speed. Also I find parallelism between his dumb outfits like in blindfolded skateboarding and rainbow dash's wonderbolt outfit

Dave: he's a chill guy, no wing, no horn, just his supportive vibe, his single nut and his snowboarding skills. Also I don't want a guy who literally SHITS anywhere. anytime. to have wings. 😭😭

Wee man: he flies all the time he gets into an explosion dude, literally i can make him fly just tying a balloon to him. He DESERVES that wings he is a professional flyer😭 lmaooo love him to

If yall desagree its ok but i gotta know what u guys think like dont let me be the only one delirious here omg 😭💔

Nobody knows i'm drawing the jackass crew as ponys...

[lovelivingmydreams]

The guy from the foodcourt

So @reddstardust made a few really cool doodles. And one made me want to write this. So show them some love as well! Enjoy!

This is part of this bigger story, first chapter here

Nico groaned in frustration and banged his head on the desk.

There were piles of discarded notes around him. Why was this so hard?

“Okay so change of medium didn’t help,” Félix relented. Nico could hear his creativity was getting frustrated as well, though he was trying to stay positive for his sake.

“All it did was desecrate some poor tree’s memory,” Alejo pointed out in dismay.

“I’ll recycle the paper,” Nico sighed. What to do?

“It’s cramped in here. And too dark,” Alejo complained trying in vain to get comfortable on the windowsill since there was literally nowhere else for him to sit.

He had a point. The window didn’t exactly let in a lot of light and the lightbulb wasn’t helping that much.

“That’s it! A change of scenery! Brilliant idea!” Félix grinned at his opposite/partner in crime.

“Hm… I don’t know about brilliant, but it’s okay,” the darker facet agreed.

Nico nodded. Maybe he could go to the mall…

“Who knows! The people passing by might yield inspiration!” Félix pointed out eagerly.

“But we gotta focus. No side trips, no distractions. We get there, we get inspired, we write the song and we’re out. No shopping. This song has to be done by the end of the week or Diego is going to get mad at me for not keeping you two in check!”

Alejo always turned just a bit darker and scarier when he drew a line in the sand.

Félix put a hand on his heart and raised his other, palm facing Alejo.

“I swear on my spectacular spectacles, my tense friend. No unneeded distractions.”

“By Aphrodite’s hairbrush!” Félix exclaimed, his star shaped frames shifting to hearts.

“Nooo!”

“Just look!”

Nico had just sat down and looked up under ‘mild’ encouragement from his creativity, who also covered his hormones. Well his desire for romance and other… Well desires in general. Success, love, happiness. All that stuff.

Right now his attention, and therefore Nico’s, was drawn by a handsome stranger ordering food at one of the shops in the food court.

“Just look at him! He’s so cute!” Félix gushed. And Nico couldn’t disagree. He was very handsome.

He also looked rather tired.

“We don’t have time for this. Besides he doesn’t look in the mood to be bothered anyway,” Alejo argued, though Nico could hear a bit of doubt. The guy was really cute.

“Maybe bothering him will get him in a better mood? Let’s take a chance, what do you say?”

“We don’t even know if he’s gay!”

Félix clapped in delight right as Alejo groaned at his accidental rhyme.

“No distractions, you promised!” his inner edgelord insisted as the man sat himself down at a table and Nico went back to his blank screen.

“But love!” Félix whined. “Can’t that be the only exception?”

“Not when we have people waiting for a new song! Maybe if we get at least an idea down, then we can think of talking to the guy. If we can find a non-creepy reason to do so.”

Félix groaned but relented his frames going back to star shaped.

“Very well! Brainstorming time!”

Nico wrote down at least a hundred beginnings of ideas already, but most seemed to be at least somewhat related to the cute guy sitting a few tables away.

“Come on royal pain! You are killing me here!”

“Maybe if I could just chance a glance at him? He might be our muse!” Félix pleaded.

“That makes no sense.”

Before the argument could escalate Nico’s food arrived.

He was honestly relieved. He could put the laptop away for a bit and just let his thoughts go free for a moment. Hopefully not drifting towards…

From the corner of his eye he could see the guy get up. Welp that didn’t take long.

“He’s coming over!” Felix declared triumphantly.

“You don’t know that! Don’t get Nico’s hopes up!”

Nico tried to focus on his food, but it was impossible not to sneak a peek as the guy passed by. Oh, he did not mind that view either. “Look away before he sees!” Alejo hissed.

“He looks so fine!”

“He could still be a jerk. Or already dating someone. Or straight!”

“Oh come on Misery Business. There is nothing straight about that guy. My gaydar is on point and he is 99% gay. And if he had a boyfriend, he would be here with him. Or he’d at least be in a better mood,” Félix argued.

“One, you do not have me convinced gaydar is a real thing. Two, there are a ton of situations where he could have a boyfriend while also being here alone and in a bad mood. Having a relationship does not join you at the other person’s hip and it does not get rid of all the bad things in life.”

Alejo had a point there…

“And again, we should try to work on the song!” Another good point.

“Please, my dearest Paramour. One more look.”

Alejo sighed. “Fine! Just one.”

And so Nico looked up and…

“Oh god! Eye contact he caught you!”

“He’s looking back! Maybe he wants you to be looking at him!?”

“Is he looking at us? Maybe there is something behind us?”

Nico looked back, he couldn’t see anything much of note. But when he looked back at the stranger he was no longer looking at him. It was like he never even really noticed him sitting there.

“By the frozen head of Disney!” Félix exclaimed. He was clearly upset. He only made morbid Disney references when he got really down.

Alejo sighed a little relieved, but put a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It’s fine. Let’s finish our meal and maybe we can come up with a song idea? Then after we can try and talk to him?”

“Would you really?” Nico thought it was awesome that his creativity and his anxiety got along so well. They looked out for one another. And pulled pranks on him and his other facets. They were a terrifyingly efficient team.

“Of course. Now what do you say?”

Félix nodded. “Let’s focus.”

And Nico got into the zone. The whole mall seemed to disappear around him except for the food in front of him. He knew he wanted to make something about mental health. He just didn’t know what aspect of it yet.

Then suddenly he heard a loud crashing sound nearby.

He looked up and could only just see a figure in an upturned trashcan.

Poor soul.

“Same,” Alejo smirked as he returned their attention to their work.

But that… Was actually not a bad idea.

“It’s a metaphor for life!” Félix gushed!

“Like how not dealing with an issue head on can cause it to pile up and before you know it bam! Disaster.”

“Are you trying to say something about…”

“Order 96!? Anyone?” Nico’s head snapped to the food stand and then over to the table where the mystery guy had sat earlier.

“Noooo!” Nico shared the musician’s sentiment. The handsome stranger was gone.

“He left without his food?” Alejo frowned. Nico got up and approached the table, indeed, the number 96 was sitting there abandoned and forgotten. He’d missed his chance. Now he’d never know.

“Would bringing him his food be an acceptable excuse to talk to him?” Félix asked desperately.

“Um… Yeah, sure. That’s probably the only reason we can justify chasing him down,” Alejo nodded nervously.

So Nico claimed the food and started walking around hoping to spot.

“Adonis at 8 o’clock!”

Nico’s head snapped in the direction Félix had pointed out and there he was, looking like the day had somehow gotten worse since Nico first noticed him.

Should he…?

Félix looked pleadingly at Alejo who sighed. “Well? Are you waiting for a written invitation or what?”

At that Nico immediately ran up to the guy. “Uh, Hey!” he called out still not sure what he was going to say.

When he came to a stop in front of him he realized that first and foremost he needed to catch his breath. It took him a second, but when he did he righted himself and gave the guy his best smile.

“There you are,” he sighed in relief. “I was afraid you’d left.” And that would’ve blown.

“You almost forgot your food…”

“He’s even cuter up close,” Félix sighed dreamily.

“He’s staring at us like we have two heads. This was a bad idea,” Alejo cringed.

He was staring at him kind of funny. Come on something to talk about… He really whished the guy was wearing a bracelet or anything of note to start a conversation about other than a bag of boiled carrots. And his sad look from earlier.

“Brilliant! Ask about that! Show how caring you are.”

“Well… We don’t have anything better so…”

“You looked really upset so I figured it might be some kind of comfort food or something. You mind kind of telling me about that?”

Please?

Nothing happened. Still staring strangely spooked at him. “Abort mission. I’m sorry Félix but this is not going to end well if we keep pushing!” Alejo rushed.

“Oh, very well. Goodbye handsome stranger,” Félix allowed reluctantly.

“It’s okay!” Nico rushed shoving the bag of food towards the stranger before he could do something to embarrass himself more. “Uh, it’s probably a bit too nosy for me to ask anyway.”

“Uh… Yeah!” The stranger replied, god why did even his voice have to sound so pleasant? And that while he was clearly 100% uncomfortable talking to him.

“Super nosy!! What’s wrong with you…man?” Nico would take offence, but he could see that the stranger was desperate to get out of the situation as fast as possible.

“We made him feel worse,” Alejo sighed guiltily.

“We didn’t mean to!” Félix argued.

“Does the intention matter? Look at him?”

“Ahhh, yeah… sorry about that. Have a good night.”

And so Nico turned around and walked away a little disappointed.

Neither Alejo nor Félix had much to say now, just allowing Nico to feel for a minute. And then he heard shoes squeaking and a voice behind him. “Uh…”

He looked around. The stranger. “Did he change his mind?!” Félix squealed.

“Maybe he just realized he was kind of rude and wanted to say sorry?” Alejo reasoned.

“Hey,” he greeted the stranger expectantly. He still looked really tense.

But now he was at least smiling. And it was a real cute smile.

“Hey…” he waved before showing him the bag of carrots. “Do you want this food? I… don’t.”

“What?” Félix and Alejo chorused confused and Nico couldn’t help but laugh.

“Then why did you buy it?” he asked.

The stranger looked away nervously and rubbed at the back of his head as he stammered trough his reply. Sending Félix into a squealing frenzy. The words cute and precious and all kinds of variations could be heard.

“Oh y-…pah-uh…Well it’s probably… you know, maybe because I was trying to see your backpack…”

Nico blinked confused as Alejo was trying to figure out what was so special about it. “Just ask him!” he eventually hissed as the uncertainty got to him.

“Wh-uh, my backpack?”

The stranger was still avoiding his eyes most of the time, a slight blush showing up on his cheeks.

“Yeah… I-I wanted to see if you had any… pride pins…”

Nico could only half follow the strangers explanation about not wanting to bother him because Félix was screaming and Alejo was screaming.

“Gay! He’s so definitely gay!”

“He wanted to know… He is interested!?”

“Oh gods, oh gods, this is amazing! He is so wonderful and earnest and just look at him he’s so worried he’s being weird! Just aaaah!”

“Which would’ve been amazing because I think you are really… cute.”

And then everything went quiet. Cute… He thinks I am cute…

“Don’t just stand there say something!”

“Oh… my… gosh…”

“Not that!”

“You should’ve just said ‘hi’!”

And the shy hopeful smile he got was just the most beautiful thing in existence.

“Oh-oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I had writers block anyway.”

Alejo gave Félix a playful shove at that.

“Oh! Uh… w-what were you trying to write? Uh, Misterrrr…?”

“Shut up, stop being adorable, my heart cannot take it!” Félix gushed.

Nico laughed. “Mr. Flores. Very formal of you! Uh… You can call me Nico if you’d like.”

The man laughed back, still a little tense but much more at ease than earlier.

“Mr. Sanders! But you can call me Thomas.”

“Thomas,” Félix repeated with a sigh, clearly halfway a plan to write an entire song just around the name alone somehow.

“To answer your question. I was attempting to write a song,” he explained as he led them both to the nearest table. He was planning on staying for quite a bit longer.

“Oh! I like… songs.” Nico smiled a little to himself, he wasn’t looking at him but he could already discern the little mental ‘are you kidding me?’ Thomas was thinking to himself at that answer. Nico, or more specifically Félix, had a suspicion of what he meant.

“He’s an artist too!!!” the master writer exclaimed.

“We don’t know that,” Alejo insisted.

“What’s yours about?”

Ah if only he knew the answer to that. “Uh… I don’t know yet. I- I think I like the idea of someone’s life…” No not quite. “or an aspect of their life feeling like… a trash bin.” Thomas’ face at that wasn’t encouraging, but he wasn’t finished explaining yet so the idea wasn’t a complete loss yet.

“And- and the waste keeps piling… and piling up… until it inevitably… spills out… into the rest of their life.” He smiled at Thomas expectantly, hoping he’d like the idea at least a little.

His face became deadpan though and just as Nico started to worry…

“You saw me knock over that trash can didn’t you?”

Oh, my… “That was you!?”

“We could’ve been his hero?” Félix whined.

“He would not have liked us seeing him like that. Imagine if it were the other way around?”

Félix shivered and nodded in understanding.

As it was the realization that Nico didn’t have a clue until now, and he’d had outed himself as ‘the trash man’ was clearly embarrassing enough on it’s own.

“OH- gosh… yes. Dang it!” he confessed as he hid his face behind his hands.

“Are you okay?” Nico asked earnestly though he couldn’t keep the amusement out of his voice or face.

Thomas was laughing as well. “Nothing but a bruised ego,” he assured him.

Félix huffed. Nico knew that to him a bruised ego was a serious condition that should not be glossed over. But Nico kind of liked that Thomas was able to laugh at the situation already.

“Sorry if my song explanation… uh, hit a little too close to home.”

Thomas’ earnest smile melted his heart.

“No, it’s fine. It’s true! I do tend to… waste a lot of opportunities in my life.”

“Was that a pun?” Nico’s facets asked shocked.

“Well,” he smiled as he took the bag of carrots. “Let’s not waste this one,” he suggested.

Next chapter

Nico’s head and heart were buzzing with excitement the whole rest of the day when he came home he threw himself on the couch. 

“AAAAAAAH!” Félix and Alejo screamed in jubilation.

“An actor and a singer?” Félix gushed.

“And he has good taste in music and in movies,” Alejo pointed out.

“He did a tour with his own musical! Is he even real?”

“How was he so modest about it?”

“Would it be okay to look him up?” the boisterous facet wondered, phone already in hand.

“Well, he said it was fine if we did… but maybe not right away?” the usually restrained man was vibrating with a mix of happy and scared nerves.

“I need a minute…” Nico sighed dreamily.

“Oh. Of course. We’ll be right here when you need us,” Félix assured him as he and Alejo retreated to the mind to tell the others all the details they might’ve missed.

[vikingsarememes]

pairing: Hvitserk x Y/N

summary: you and your boyfriend were drunk, so you submitted a fake application to the school nearby that was hiring, Hvitserk tells you how his day went.

Warnings: none

Word count: 1168

It was a stupid bet, a stupid joke, a prank application that you sent while drunk that got Hvitserk a gig as a sub-teacher, today was his first day in the job, he had no idea what to do, he’s never dealt with children before that weren’t Sigurd, Ivar or Bjorn’s kids, he barely knows anything about history, the only history he knows is history channel where they aired his favorite show about Vikings.

You woke him up in the morning and both of you went through his wardrobe, the man doesn’t have a thing that’s not a hoodie or a shirt, you struggled to find a decent outfit, you helped unbraid his hair, a teacher was supposed to look somehow respectful not like a drunk playboy which he totally was, you sent him off to school with a lunch box and a list of the stupid things he shouldn’t say.

You and Hvitserk has been dating for seven months now, both of you are very playful, and always seeking a good time, and yesterday when you thought it would be funny if you submit a fake CV to the nearby school for an experiment you were doing for your blog about how low hiring standards and look-based public schools are, you didn’t expect them to actually write you back and tell you Mr. Hvitserk Ragnarsson was a perfect candidate and that he should be put on a test tomorrow to see if he’s any good with the kids.

After all, who would say no to an Oxford graduate with an honorary degree, and has plenty of researches on the matter of how adding a turtle in a classroom helps the class’s atmosphere settle down three degrees and a half, yes, Photoshop can do wonders.

Hours later, Hvitserk returned, he didn’t greet you with a kiss or squeeze your butt like he usually does, he walked to the bedroom and laid on his back, staring at the ceiling, you followed “are you okay love?” you asked “I got fired! From my fake job! How’s that even possible?” he asked “what happened?” you asked as you sat next to him “they said my methods of teaching were too advanced for their own liking” you laughed, he looked at you seriously in the eyes “Hvitserk, my love, tell me everything” you said and laid down next to him, using his chest as your personal pillow.

“Well, I went there, I introduced myself as Hvitserk Ragnarsson, honorary student of Oxford has three superior pieces of research on the matters of education and history, and I met Obama two times as he thanked me for my services, I also volunteered in the army and rescued a whale once” he started, you laughed, no joke, this was what you wrote yesterday in the CV.

“Anyways, we were talking about the civil war, and a kid asked me, why did the soldiers wear khaki, I told him because it was the trend back then, and another started explaining the correct answer, then they asked me when did the war happen So I told them a very long while ago! And then they wanted to know why, so I said because German people were jealous of Swiss people and they wanted more shiny stuff! So the kid from earlier said, no, it’s because of bleh, bleh, bleh and I was okay with it, I encouraged that annoying kid”

“Anyways, the class ended, I was walking in the hallways and bam! A school fight! A kid was injured, and they literally dragged me to see him so I knelt down and I saw the kid, he was bleeding from his nose so I screamed QUICK SOMEONE CALL AN ADULT, they all looked at me as if I’m insane, and were like, you are the adult, and I was like, bitch no, I stole my nephew’s lunch the other day, I’m nowhere near adult! We need an adulter adult!” 

“So, we took the kid to the nurse’s office, and I was left to deal with the bully, I asked him why did he do that? He said the other kid called him gay, so I was like, oh and you’re still in denial of your sexuality? The kid kicked me in the leg then ran, I didn’t get a name or anything, but fuck the kid’s kick was strong I fell on the ground and eventually started crying, another looked at me and was like, I think I don’t want to grow up and be this pathetic, but the thing is, this kid had a fucking burrito!” 

“I snatched the burrito and started ugly eating on the floor, in a corner, and at a point, I gave detention to the janitor because he told me to get up and get my life together, later, the principal called me in and said this experience scarred the kids for life and perhaps I should apply to highschools instead”

“So I was like, no, I’m an elite human being! My researches are all around these subjects, everything I did was intentional and I must work with elementary schools! So the principal said it wasn’t working and he has to let me go, however, he referred me to private schools that they’d be more interested in what I have to offer”

“I was like ok fine, I slammed the door and picked up my stuff, on my way out, there was this kid, holding sour candy, well, I love this shit, and I was pretty sad! So you bet I snatched the bag and ran home! Man! Being a teacher is hard, although the food is good” by the time he finished talking you were dying of laughter, your handsome idiot surely left his mark in the school, and in those little kids’ life.

“Did you at least eat your lunch?” you asked playing with his hair “no, I got fired before lunch break which is ridiculous because I was looking forward to showing my badass food container that had Batman all over it!” he whined, you giggled “okay but it’s around four, what did you do the rest of the day?” , “I went to the comics store, and remember that comic book you told me about? The girl with weird superpowers? Well, I couldn’t find it but I ordered a few copies, god! I’m so lucky I’m rich, but you know, it was good to share my expertise with the young, I should write a life guide or something about it” he chuckled you rolled your eyes and kissed his lips “you definitely should, but we have meatloaf for dinner”, “ah, meatloaf, the common enemy of my creativity! I suppose my career as a new york best time seller can wait” you chuckled then got up “get cleaned and meet me in the kitchen” you finally said before leaving, you prepared the table, thinking to yourself how adorable your boyfriend is, he’s a total dork, but he was your dork.

tags: @youbloodymadgenius​

[druckenglish]

Season 3 Episode 10: “Our time is now”

David: Psssht, my sister!

Matteo: Sssh, your sister!

David: Are you ticklish?

Matteo: I‘m excited / nervous! („aufgeregt“ means both)

David: Me too!

David: What?

Matteo: Wake up

David: Stop it!

Matteo: Stop it!

David: Silence in the cheap seats

Matteo: Kiss me you asshole

David: Nope

Matteo: This is good

David: What?

Matteo: This, everything. Since when have you known?

David: Kinda for forever. I’ve always felt a stranger. Really odd. I didn’t know what it was. And then I googled my symptoms

Matteo: *I did absolutely not understand what he said, boy needs to stop mumbling. Sorry!*

David: Then I found people that described the same as me and called it transgender

Matteo: How long ago was that?

David: 4 or 5 years. At some point I went to see a psychologist, to get a shot

Matteo: Testosterone

David: *Confirming hum*

Matteo: Do you wanna have anything done?

David: You mean surgery?

Matteo: *Confirming hum*

David: Top definitely. And bottom I don’t know. Is that bad?

Matteo: No, you’re good the way you are!

David: That’s good then. You’re not that shitty either

Matteo: Not that shitty. Not that shitty?

David: Not that shitty

Matteo: You mean the best

David: Fuck, my sister

Matteo: What about your sister?

David: Don’t you hear her? She’s gonna kill me

Matteo: She’s making breakfast

David: I don’t wanna go out there

Matteo: It won’t be that bad

David: No!

Matteo: Come on, let’s go

David: I’ll stay here

Matteo: I’m hungry! We’ll go there now!

David: No!

Laura: Do you want anything as well?

Matteo: Sure!

David: Hey

Laura: Na. Never do that again!

David: Yes, I’m sorry!

Laura: Good!

David: Did you make Shakshouka?

Laura: *Confirming hum*

David: Epic! Come on

Matteo: What is that?

David; It’s a dish from the Middle East. Baked eggs with tomato. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to, we also have sandwiches

Matteo: No, sounds awesome

David: Thanks

Matteo: Thanks

Laura: Someone from school called

David: Okay

Laura: You have an appointment with the gym teacher and the principal

David: Yes

Jonas: What do you think about that?

Matteo: I think it’s nice

Carlos: I think it’s more of a love song than a graduation anthem

Jonas: Nonsense!

Carlos: But it’s super melancholic, sad

Jonas: Yes, but not everything needs to be German rap

Carlos: That’s not what I said. It’s just a little bit sad. You know what I mean. I think it’s good

Jonas: I’ll get a beer

Carlos: Really, I think it’s nice

Jonas: Yeah

Carlos: What’s the matter bro?

Abdi: Nothing makes sense

Jonas: What exactly?

Abdi: Feelings. I tried everything, I really made an effort. But things with Sam just don’t want to work. It’s probably me

Carlos: Why that?

Abdi: Well because she doesn’t want to with me

Jonas: But that doesn’t mean that every woman doesn’t want to sleep with you

Carlos: Yes (denying what Jonas said)

Abdi: I do believe that by now

Carlos: Yes

Jonas: No

Abdi: What do you want?

Matteo: Well I would sleep with you

Abdi: Really?

Matteo: No, but I thought you might feel better then

Abdi: Fuck you dude!

Carlos: I’d really like to know: If Abdi and I were the last people on earth, who would you choose, like for fucking?

Matteo: Jonas

Jonas: Aha, I knew it, bam!

Carlos: It was a fair choice between Abdi and Carlos

Abdi: Who out of the two of us would you choose?

Carlos: I have a bigger penis

Matteo: I’d choose the door bell

Abdi: But seriously

Jonas: Boys!

Matteo (I think it’s him at least): Jonas, Jonas

Abdi: I understood Abdi

David: Na

Matteo: Na

David: Na, I missed you

Carlos: Are you gay?

Jonas: No, but he’d still bang me

David: Hey

Abdi: What’s up

Carlos: Hey

Abdi: But seriously, why aren’t our Abi exams about women? I mean that would at least help me

Jonas: With Sam?

Carlos: Because women are different to men (the German expression he uses means their minds work differently, but there’s no adequate translation), I can’t explain it

Abdi: How different?

Carlos: They just are different

Abdi: Thanks Carlos! Thanks for your witty remark

Carlos: I only wanted to help you ass

David: I think women aren’t really that different

Abdi: What do you mean?

David: Well, I don’t know, I don’t understand them that well myself, but they probably only want clarity, too

Abdi: Clarity

Carlos: Clarity

David: Well did you ever tell Sam clearly what you want from her?

Abdi: Well okay, I offered her a lollipop and she didn’t want it

Carlos: A lollipop?

Jonas: You have to offer her your lollipop and not any lollipop

Abdi: Dude, if she doesn’t want any lollipop then she certainly won’t want mine

Carlos: Bro, forget the lollipop, give her sucuk with egg

Abdi: What, sucuk?

Carlos: Yes

Abdi: In a pan?

Jonas: Dude, we’re talking about your penis

Abdi: Dude I won’t put my penis in a pan

Carlos: Bro!

Matteo: You’re just supposed to tell her that you like her. What?

Abdi: I can also say that with sucuk and egg

David: But you can also say it with words

Matteo: Directly

Abdi: That I like her? I don’t know, I like sucuk better. But not in a pan

Carlos: Safe, do that

Abdi: By the way, your boyfriend just said that he’d sleep with me

David: Did he?

Matteo: Yes and then I took it back, I only wanted to cheer him up

Abdi: Yes yes

Carlos: I have the biggest penis in this group, mind you!

Matteo: Nobody in this group cares

Abdi: You have a penis complex, is that possible?

Carlos: Ask your mom

Abdi: You wanker

Matteo: Principal’s office

David: Ladies first

Matteo: Thank you

David: Hello. You really don’t have to wait here

Matteo: But I want to

Principal: Ah, David, there you are, come in, Mr Neuhaus is already waiting

Jonas: I thought it might get a bit boring

Abdi: What’s up

Carlos: Quite nice here

Abdi: It’s okay

Carlos: Dude, it’s super nice

Matteo: What are you doing here?

Kiki: I have an appointment with Dr Steinberg (the principal)

Hanna: Yes

Sam: I thought we wanted to show solidarity with Matteo and David

Kiki: Yes, and we wanted to keep that to ourselves

Matteo: It’s okay

Principal: Great, then we’ll fix the date for Friday, okay David?

David: Yes sure, thanks!

Principal: Okay, but please show up this time. And all of you have an appointment with me or what?

Kiki: No, only me

Principal: I see

Kiki: Because of the Abi prank

Principal: My school won’t be decorated with penises again

Kiki: No no no, we have a totally different plan

Mr Neuhaus: Well then, see you on Friday

Jonas: See you on Friday

Mr Neuhaus: May I please?

David: I can retake the PE exam and will be graded correctly

Jonas: Okay everybody, I wrote a song that is about accomplishing something together and being brave together

Hanna: And you? Do you have a plan for the future?

Matteo: I don’t know. Life’s quite nice the way it is right now

Amira: What, you really don’t wish for anything? Not even your weed back?

Abdi: Wait, wait! That was my weed. What’s with my weed?

Hanna: Sam?

Sam: Yes?

Abdi: Sam, you smoked all of it?

Sam: The Abitur was stressful

Abdi: Without me?

Sem: Eh

Jonas: It was 10 grams, right? 

David(?): Holy fuck!

Hanna: Okay, so no plans for the future? 

Matteo: Life is now. With you!

[legionnairelass]

A Guide To The Legion of Super-Heroes For CW Fans

(@shadowofcroft​ @peskydoodles @denofgeek @karamelshakes @nerdyfancupcake @querlsdoxs @lenakluthor I haven’t spoken to nearly any of you, but could y’all somehow get this out to the people who’d read it?)

WHAT is the Legion of Super-Heroes? A bunch of futuristic losers who nerd out so hard about 21st/20th century heroes they decided to be heroes too.

WHEN is the Legion of Super-Heroes? Either the 30th or the 31st century- take the publication date of whatever comic you’re reading, add 1,000 years, and there you go!

WHO ARE THE MEMBERS of the Legion of Super-Heroes? Please don’t make me answer this. There are a lot. There was once a membership-cap of 25, but that got thrown away because more Legionnaires.

WHO INSPIRED the Legion of Super-Heroes? In the comics, it’s Clark Kent, Superboy at the time. Back when he lived in Smallville with Ma and Pa Kent, the Legion’s founders went back and time to prank him and take him to the 30th/31st where he got really good at the hero thing and  eventually evolved into (wait for it) SUPERMAN.

WHO FOUNDED the Legion of Super-Heroes? (This is gonna come as a huge shock, I know, but) Not Mon-El! The original founders of the Legion, sometimes known as the Legionnaires Three, were actually Imra Ardeen (aka Saturn Girl), Garth Ranzz (aka Lightning Lad), and Rokk Krinn (aka Cosmic Boy). The three of them sorta accidentally saved a rich, old, fun dude named R.J. Brande and he was like “huh, superheroes are cool”. Thus, the Legion was formed.

HOW DOES the Legion of Super-Heroes WORK? The Legion is a democracy, with a whole ton of rules called the Legion Constitution. Every year or so, the Legion holds elections for their leader, and whenever it is convenient they hold try-outs for new members.

WHAT is the Legion of Super-Heroes ABOUT? The Legionnaires come from all over the galaxy in order to defend peace, democracy, and freedom. They are optimistic, sometimes to a fault, and believe in Superman’s virtues above (almost) all else.

WHAT IS THE APPEAL of the Legion of Super-Heroes? Well, the Legion is normally really optimistic, really diverse, and really teenage. Characterization and inter-personal relationships are always a heavy focus, not just superhero, bam, pow, fisticuffs.

HOW DOES the Legion of Super-Heroes CONNECT WITH SUPERGIRL? The Legion has, historically, always been very involved with the Super Family. Supergirl became a member (alongside Clark Kent) way back in the Silver Age (those are the really old comics with story lines that read like crappy old fanfics off of Fanfiction.net and pages that reek of LSD which all the writers were on at the time). She’d come from the past to the future to join in with the lighthearted shenanigans, and help save the day. In fact, the Legionnaire Brainiac 5 was her most consistent love interest throughout the decades of Supergirl comics.

WHAT DOES MON-EL HAVE TO DO with the Legion of Super-Heroes? Remember how Mon got stuck in the Phantom Zone because of lead-poisoning? Yeah, so a thousand years in the future, Brainiac 5 developed a cure and saved him. With nothing better to do, Mon joined the Legion. It was pretty cool. He even had the most badass girlfriend- Tasmia Mallor aka Shadow Lass.

WHO IS THIS BRAINIAC 5 DUDE in the Legion of Super-Heroes? Brainiac 5, aka Querl Dox is a native of Colu, and a descendant of Superman’s villain Brainiac. He’s basically the smartest person ever to exist, and he knows it. Although he’s a sarcastic, antagonistic bitch most of the time, he’s one of the Legion’s greatest assets. Plus, he’s had a ton of love interests, most notably Supergirl, but also Laurel Gand (aka Andromeda), Lyle Norg (aka Invisible Kid), Nura Nal (aka Dream Girl), and (if we’re sorta counting the cartoon) Clark Kent (aka Superman).

HOW IS SATURN GIRL INVOLVED in the Legion of Super-Heroes? Well, let’s start off by saying SHE”S NOT MON-EL’S WIFE. With that out of the way, Saturn Girl, aka Imra Ardeen is one of the founding members of the Legion. She’s a ridiculously strong telepath. Sometimes she’s called ‘Ironass Ardeen’ because she’s so tough. She’s married to Garth Ranzz aka Lightning Lad and they had twin sons. Also, did I mention that in 1964 she became the first female leader of a superhero team??? Imra’s so cool, everyone should love her.

IS THE NIA NAL/DREAMER CHICK PART OF the Legion of Super-Heroes? ....No? Yes, maybe? Nia has been revealed to be the grandmother of Nura Nal (aka Dream Girl, or Dreamer), who’s a Legionnaire from Naltor with the ability to see the future and also kick a lot of ass and save the day because Brainy is pretty useless in combat scenarios. 

HOW GAY is the Legion of Super-Heroes? (Let’s face it. I’m on tumblr. I understand tumblr. This question is pertinent.) The Legion hasn’t had a on-going comic in recent years, so a lot of the gay shit is queer coding but... Shrinking Violet and Light Lass are wonderful farm girlfriends, Invisible Kid and Chemical King have been generally accepted as a gay couple since the 60′s, Shvaughn Erin can be read as a (poorly written) trans character, her love interest Element Lad more or less comes out as bisexual, Brainiac 5 and Invisible Kid came really close to being a canon couple before the series was rebooted, and Chameleon was canonically nonbinary in the reboot known as the threeboot. I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting, but there are a lot of Legionnaires. Also, they all had a crush on a snake person at one point, which was, y’know, awesome.

WHERE DO I START READING the Legion of Super-Heroes? 1. You know that thought you just had about reading from the beginning? Take it, smash it on the ground, jump on it a few times, throw it in a trash can, set the trash can on fire, and then throw the whole thing into the abyss. The whole concept of ‘reading from the beginning’ will cause more suffering than it’s worth. Trust me. 2. Get your hands on the graphic novels Legionnaires Volumes 1 and 2 (here and here). This is the beginning of the rebooted Legion. I won’t confuse you (or myself, honestly) with those details, but the reboot reintroduces all the characters, and retells some of the popular original stories before moving into brand new territory. 3. Get some pens and paper handy. Be prepared to take little notes about who’s who as you go. Don’t worry- you won’t need these for very long. Just at the beginning. 4. read, Read, READ! And most importantly- enjoy!

[mistyheartrbs]

good luck wizards

so on december 20th, 2017 aka last night i thought “aw man it sure is weird that all disney channel sitcoms take place in the same universe!” and then literally ten minutes later i was knee-deep in writing a really gay wizards of waverly place/good luck charlie crossover fanfiction in tweet format. and i loved doing it. 

so here it is, my masterpiece, good luck wizards 

a/n: some background: alex and teddy are roommates at whatever unattainable college teddy ended up going to and i have been mad about stevie’s death for six years now

"she just died," alex whimpers to teddy one night, curled up in her arms with two cups of magic hot cocoa in their hands (winning the wizard competition has some perks - learning the spell to keep hot cocoa warm indefinitely is one of them) "i could've done something." 

"they put her back together. it's okay." 

"it was like i could hear...laughing. nobody cared. nobody mourned her."

"yeah that's pretty terrible." 

"wizards suck, teds. don't get mixed up with them." 

 "i'll try." 

"should i...should i visit? i haven't seen her since..." 

"why not?"

"guilt. it took like, six months. i could've probably done it in half the time. messed up, man." 

"where is she now?" 

"wizard juvie. i dunno." alex starts making loops with her wand, little tendrils like snowflakes following her motions. it's lovely, teddy thinks. "probably being made to clean up after slime toads or whatever. the wizard world's got some cra-appy punishments." alex's voice lilts on "crappy," and she jerks her wand sharply upwards. teddy tries not to flinch. "help me out with a spell, would you?"

"okay?" teddy wonders if this is like that time gabe asked her to "help" with a "harmless prank." it's probably worse. 

"just sit here and take my hand when the portal opens.” alex raises her wand. “when the world slips apart and wants to see me / take me there to go to my friend stevie." a portal opens in truly bad 2007 cgi. they go in. 

"that was a really bad rhyme," teddy deadpans as the two of them fall through the void. 

"i'm working on my original spells, okay? it's an ~experimental style~"

"whatever you say."

and then the portal closes and they land. not very gracefully. on top of each other. it's not wizard juvie, and it's not some slime frog habitat, either. it's a little apartment. dusty and dim, with a faded rainbow flag hanging on one wall. a funny-looking dog skitters across the floor, and its footsteps echo around the room. 

"susan?" a familiar voice calls out. alex freezes. "hey, i said i was gonna...oh." stevie nichols stops dead in her tracks at the two intruders. "hi."

"i'm just gonna..." teddy awkwardly backs away to go back into the portal, only to realize it's not there anymore. she pokes at the air anyway. it's fraught with tension, alex and stevie staring at each other.

"took you long enough," stevie finally grumbles. "i thought you'd forgotten." 

"i wanted to," alex admits. "it's easier to just bury that sorta thing down deep, though, isn't it?" 

"yeah."

teddy stares helplessly at the blank wall. she needs to leave before this gets bad. 

"it was like i was asleep for a while," stevie murmurs. teddy notices a few weird little cracks in her body. "after that happened. and then i wasn't. and i was in wizard juvie."

"i could've broken you out," alex realizes. "the dynamic duo at it again, right?" she laughs hollowly. "but they all wanted to forget about you! and you were dead! they'd have thought i was nuts."

"for trying to help?"

the wizard world is really truly messed up, teddy thinks. 

"with the competition and everything, it took me forever to even find out you had a chance of coming back, and i tried to tell myself that was enough. i mean, if it was enough, i wouldn't have to see you again, right?"

"and you'd forget just like them. move on with your life." 

"exactly." 

"that's a crappy thing to do to a friend, dude."

"maybe i didn't know if we'd be friends after this stuff at all!" alex snaps, and then she claps a hand over her mouth. teddy crouches behind a counter - it's all she can think to do to get out of this awkward situation, since there's no clear door.

"i don't give a flying fruit bat about what most people think. but you, stevie, you were like some kind of visionary! and how could i face you after i betrayed you and then let you die and then tried to forget?" 

stevie still isn't moving.

"do you ever think maybe i wonder about what would've happened if none of that had ever been a thing? we could've been two wizard kids and just, like, lived. maybe we could've gone on a date or something, i dunno." 

stevie turns red and her cracks start showing again.

"i would've liked that, too," stevie croaks. it occurs to teddy that maybe stevie doesn't talk much anymore - living in what's apparently another dimension consisting only of her apartment with just a dog present seems awfully lonely.

"open the portal, open the gate," alex says suddenly, and stevie recoils at the sight of the wand like it's a weapon. "take me and stevie to our first date." the three of them are whisked away.

(PREVIOUSLY ON GOOD LUCK WIZARDS, alex entered the lesbian dimension and teddy third-wheeled for an argument)

"that was a better rhyme," teddy says, trying to keep pace with alex and stevie as they walk. stevie looks at her strangely. 

"do i know you?" she asks. teddy feels vaguely threatened.

"yeah, yeah, she looks just like justin's vampire girlfriend, it's weird, we've been over this." alex rolls her eyes, and stevie looks at her warmly. "real weird. i know." 

"if it helps, i don't know much about wizards at all," teddy offers. she looks around - it's not like the last portal, where they were falling through a purple void. instead, it's just a white space, with fog bunching around her ankles.

"she's my roommate. i got dropped into all of this stuff after she showed up."

"so you've still got your powers. i guess you won the wizard competition?" stevie looks alex up and down. "and you're going to college?"

"contrary to popular belief," alex drawls, "our lives don't end after we graduate high school. i spent two years having a good time doing wizard stuff, and then i got up off my butt and applied to some places and bam! new friend."

"how'd she find out about...all of this?" stevie gestures to the space they're in. even though she's asking alex the questions, teddy feels like she's the one being interrogated, somehow. 

"that was my bad," alex admits. "i thought she wasn't gonna show up until later, so i went and used a teleportation spell and..." 

"there i was," teddy finishes. "have you guys ever noticed how all of your magic looks like something from a low-budget movie?"

"we've noticed," alex and stevie say in unison, and then they look at each other and laugh. teddy feels like she's intruding on something. 

"hey." alex stops in front of a massive door, patchy and glowing. "we're here."

"whoa, whoa, whoa." stevie steps back. "you didn't tell me we'd be stopping at your house first." 

"i mean, yeah. what, did you think i'm actually a good enough wizard to just get us right to where i wanted to go?"

when we get back to college, teddy thinks, i'm getting her some lessons in self-esteem. 

"besides, my folks aren't even around half the time. max runs the shop now."

"max. great." 

"what's wrong with max?" teddy had met max, once, when he'd visited their college. he seemed nice enough, if a little bit of an idiot.

"he-" 

"made a really bad mistake," alex intervenes, and she seems to realize why this is such a bad idea. "i'll sneak you past him."

"better than being trapped in that apartment, i guess," stevie sighs, and follows alex through the door. teddy almost stumbles back into the wizard world when she sees the room - it's dark and cluttered and nothing at all like her pastel-colored rooms back home.

"aw, c'mon!" alex moans. "did dad really rearrange everything? if he's here i'm gonna give him a piece of my mind, i'll tell you what." 

"you know, i think i'm just going to stay here," teddy says.

"nope." alex takes her by the arm and all but drags her out of - what the heck why is their living room in a vegetable cooler - and into a brightly lit diner, with stevie close behind. max looks up from a magazine. 

"hey," he says. stevie narrows her eyes. max stumbles back. "o-oh," he mumbles. "hey, stevie." 

"hey, squirt." stevie pushes past him for the exit. 

"sorry for killing you!" max calls behind her, but she can't hear him.

"okay!" alex claps her hands together and lets out a long sigh. "where to?" 

"for what?" 

"for our date, you doofus. what do you think 'me and stevie's first date' meant?"

"seriously?"

"yeah." 

"okay, what about . . . the movies? i can't really see movies in the apartment but i hear about 'em. is Bird Dude 3: Revenge of the Birds still playing?"

"Tender Vampire Romance is out now, too," teddy says, too quiet for either of them to hear. 

 "i've been meaning to see that one!" alex exclaims, starting to grin and very much ignoring the other suggestion. "this one's too scared of horror to go with me." she jabs a finger at teddy, who feels a little bit insulted. 

"i can do it," she says, since apparently she's not getting out of this situation, probably doomed to be a third wheel forever. "i mean, it can't be that scary after seeing magic, right?"

"it's decided!" alex bends down, plucks her wand from her boot, and starts to wave it around. "whether it's the first, second, or third," she starts, "let us see the movies about birds." they're whisked away again.

and then they end up in the movie theater. more specifically, behind the ticket counter. on top of each other. 

"now that's just overkill," stevie mutters. "isn't the movie theatre like, ten minutes from your house?"

"dad says i've gotta start working on my teleportation skills." 

"they're obviously not great," teddy groans, from underneath stevie's boot. 

"plus, this one's got a bonus." alex holds up a bowl. "baby tomatoes!" she cheers, and stevie's eyes light up. teddy leers at the bowl.

"they're just regular tomatoes?" she asks. "not, like, actually infants from a sentient tomato species you weirdos eat for fun?" 

"what? no!"

"what kind of monsters do you think we are?" stevie adds. teddy shrugs. "we just like 'em because they make us feel like dinosaurs. rawr, i'm eating a tomato. woo." stevie pops one in her mouth. "man, i've missed these."

"they don't have baby tomatoes in your apartment dimension?"

"nope. just regular-sized tomatoes." alex claps a hand over her chest like she's been wounded. 

"what kind of sick torture is that?!" stevie shrugs. 

"eh. could've been worse. i could've been dead for longer." 

"listen, guys, i'm loving this feelings session, but we're going to miss the movie if you keep up like this." teddy points to the showtimes. "and if i stay stuck in this ticket booth for another two hours with you lovebirds-" 

"crap! birds! stevie, we've gotta go!" alex takes stevie by the hand and drags her out of the ticket booth down the hall.

apologetic, teddy slips a twenty-dollar bill on the counter. hopefully it'll be enough. she runs after the pair of wizards and they just barely make it into the theatre before the previews start. teddy stops a few seats above alex and stevie.

Bird Dude 3: Revenge of the Birds starts and it's truly awful. but teddy can hear alex and stevie laughing from their seats, so that's something. it's a whole lot of something, actually.

***

"... and then when the bird dude jumped out and went 'rahh!' i could hear everyone screaming!" alex cackles, and stevie laughs with her. 

"okay, okay, but what about when his enemy the lizard gal punctured his throat?"

"that was so good!"

"they need to make a movie about lizard gal. she's the best." 

"aww, does big bad stevie have a crush?" alex teases. stevie elbows her, hard.

"tell me you didn't see something there between her and otter lady."

"when it comes out on dvd, we have to have a movie night at your place. all three bird dude movies, back to back!" alex is happier than teddy's ever seen her, but stevie's smile drops, and teddy can see the cracks again. "i'll even bring baby to-"

"you can't." 

"what?" 

"you can't bring stuff to the apartment. stuff appears, like the dog and the flag, sometimes when i want it or need it or whatever, but not from other people."

no wonder wizards keep their world a secret from everybody, teddy thinks. they've got some terrible rules. 

"you shouldn't have even been able to show up. at wizard juvie, sure, but the apartment? i'm supposed to be alone."

"maybe it was the power of love," teddy offers unhelpfully, half-meaning it as a joke but half-wondering if it's true. from the way alex and stevie actually ponder it for a moment, it seems like she's hit the nail on the head.

and then she walks off before alex and stevie can turn her arms into jelly or something like that, slipping behind a massive cutout of the leads from Tender Vampire Romance. she's in way too deep to stop now.

she watches as alex's face crumples in defeat. as stevie just stands there. as a few people pay them odd glances. 

"we can do something," alex says. "we have to." 

"we really don't," stevie says. "it's okay."

"hey, when did the bad girl get so sweet?" alex awkwardly nudges stevie with her shoulder. "the old you would've taken the offer and run with it." 

"i guess i've changed," stevie says. "being alone in an apartment dimension gives you a lot of time to think."

"that still sucks, by the way," alex scoffs. "that's, like, worse than wizard juvie."

"yeah." 

"i'm gonna visit, okay? a lot. and we can keep going on dates out here and stuff. you're not gonna be alone." alex clenches her wand in her hand. "not on my watch."

"that's my cue to leave, huh?" stevie sighs. "it was nice seeing you again, russo. i hope you'll keep that promise, but i get it if you-" and then alex kisses her, and teddy has to put her hand in her mouth to hide her excitement.

stevie sinks deeper into the kiss, and for a moment they're just two girls in a seedy movie theatre, with no magic or anything. 

"been wanting to do that for like three years," alex breathes, once she pulls away and stevie is shellshocked. "it's just as nice as i thought it'd be."

"wait!" teddy yells, and both of them turn around in surprise. "uh, stevie, i've known you for like four hours? but i don't think you deserve to be . . . alone, like that. come with us. i'm okay with it." 

"seriously?" stevie points at her.

"sure, you'd have to hide and stuff since i guess legally you died in 2011, it wouldn't be great or anything, but you two would be together, and that's what's important, right?" 

"you're too nice for your own good," stevie laughs, but she's holding alex's hand. "okay," she finally says. "as long as everyone's okay with it. alex?"

"another wizard in this place? heck yeah!" alex pumps her fist and kisses stevie again, and teddy feels an odd sort of warm swelling in her chest. it's a disney ending, and a lovely one at that.

"are you ready?" alex asks, and both stevie and teddy nod. "okay . . . through the world we might roam . . ." 

"this is pretty bad," stevie whispers to teddy, and she nods in agreement. "it's kinda cute." 

 ". . . let us now go right back home." 

they're all whisked away.