#ppl usually write new york off

[anders-hawke]

usamerican holding hands in the midst of fascism slowly but surely taking over the government circle

[grippingbeskar]

not a bad day

part 1 (read part 2 here)

boxing trainer!frank castle x fem!reader

word count: 6.6k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (oral f receiving, mxf sexual intercourse, pain kink, mentions of bruising/description of injury) fighting, swearing

a/n: i cannot get frank out of my head and the idea of him helping u at the gym just yeah this has very little plot and is just everyones horny okay! also might make a part two of this let me know if u want that k bye luv u stay safe.

p.s thank you for all the love on the last fic!! so glad ppl enjoyed it and it inspired me to write a couple more ideas for frank so stay tuned! 

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You hate today. Of all the very bad, no good shitty days you’ve had, today takes the cake. Which is why you are currently hitting the absolute crap out of the poor punching bag in the back corner of the gym, hoping to get rid of even a small part of that bubbling anger that is threatening to explode.

First, your car broke down. Fine, things happen, your cars a piece of shit anyways. So you take the bus, only its raining and you didn’t bring an umbrella, so you run down the street in the pouring rain, chasing the only bus that would get you to work on time, only for the driver to look straight at you in the rear view mirror, arms flailing like a mad woman, and drive off, making sure to rev the wheels in the puddle next to you, flicking dirt and loose concrete all over your pale yellow dress.

Then, when you finally trudge into your office building, half an hour late and soaking wet, you see your boss. Immediately he yaps your ear off about the story your writing, and how it needs to be finished by Friday, as if you haven't been working here for years and dont know the cut off date for weekly run. You placate him, determined not to let your day be ruined at nine in the morning, when you see a team of exterminators in your office, pulling years worth of sealed documents and important files out of boxes and throwing them in the bin. It was then your boss finally decided to get to his point, saying the room was found to have an entire clan of small mice living in its walls, and they needed to gas the floor.

So, you try to save all your important work and cart it three floors down, only to find every room taken, and you end up spending your day on the floor of a supply closet, fanning out the poison stained files from your first story at New York Bulletin and definitely inhaling dangerous chemicals. It was about halfway into your day, when attempting to seperate two documents that were stuck together by liquid, that you gave up on your optimism, when you were interrupted by a phone call from your landlord telling you your apartment has flooded, and while your things were mostly okay, you would have to rent a hotel room for the next two weeks, and he ‘wouldn't be able to swing’ the cost of it as the flooding ‘wasn't technically under his jurisdiction’. You didn’t even bother going home to check your place, getting off the bus two stops early and stomping straight into the gym, seemingly the only place you can find any peace these days.

That was mainly thanks to your trainer and new found boxing partner, Frank. He was new around town, you only met him a couple of weeks ago. You dont know much about him other than he has a mean swing and is an ex marine, but he’s been helping you perfect your form for free, so you dont ask a lot of questions. Your gym is big, big enough to have an entire upper floor just for boxing and MMA training, the lower levels full of weights and machines. Usually you do a bit of cardio or strength before coming up to practise with Frank, but today you just needed to hit something, slipping in your headphones and whacking the bag as hard as you can. Your musics blaring and you dont even hear him come up behind you, and you yelp slightly when a strong hand rests on your bent elbow, stopping it mid swing. With your other hand you yank the string on your headphones, the wires falling to the ground in front of you. 

“You still gotta work on those chicken arms. Elbows in.” His body is just far back enough to not press against you, and you find yourself wanting to step into him, just to feel how warm his body would feel against yours. Yes, you had a crush on him, but it was just that. A crush. You can handle yourself. His hand slides up to your bicep and presses lightly, your arm coming down in the correct form. His fingers are rough and calloused, but somehow feel smooth against your skin, trailing a light line of heat where they touched. Okay, maybe you can’t handle yourself.

Frank, on the other hand, hasn’t been in control for weeks. Ever since that first day, him wandering in to the first gym he’d seen, his apartment being too small for him to get a proper workout in, he saw you beating the shit out of this very punching bag, and he doesn’t remember a time he saw anything sexier. You had pretty poor form, but the power was there, and it was practically calling his name. He didn’t even pick up a weight, shooting straight up the stairs and standing behind the bag you were hitting, absorbing your punch so the bag didn’t move. It came off as sweet, maybe even thoughtful, but all Frank was thinking was how fucking hot it would be for you to actually hit him, and every punch you threw at the bag made his pants a little tighter.

He was on to you then, striking up a conversation about how to get more power behind yourself, and eventually, after learning your schedule by coming to the gym every day around the same time, it became habit. If he didn’t seek you out, you started to come to him, seeing you strut up behind him in the mirror as he lifted weights or hold down on his ankles as he was doing pull ups. His training used to be business only, it was almost in his job description to be fit, but you made it fun, and he found himself looking forward to every session.

“Im not exactly in the mood for a tutoring session, Castle.” You bit back, taking a couple more swings, but taking his advice and keeping your elbows in.

“But you felt the difference in those ones, didn’t you?” He comes around to face you, leaning on the wall in the corner behind the bag. You huff and continue hitting, the wraps on your knuckles beginning to come loose. “Bad day?”

“You dont know the half of it.” He just nods and his head tilts slightly, watching the way your abs tense with every punch, the small gap of skin between your sports bra and high waisted tights like a pinch of heaven to him. Your body is thrown behind every swing, and he smiles a little, unable to help how proud of your improvement he is, knowing you take on what he teaches. He can see the difference in just a couple weeks, the bag no longer a suitable opponent for your skill level.

“Wanna take it out on me?” Frank says lowly from behind the bag, and you can’t see his face when he says it, the blurred black of the swinging bag blocking him. You stop and search for his gaze, finding it on you as you stop the bag in the air and set it straight.

“What?” He nods his head, motioning behind you.

“In the ring.” Holy shit. You need to calm down. Your mind went a thousand different places, but for some reason the giant roped off ring in the room behind you wasn’t one of them. You’ve only been in there a couple times, usually its closed off for the pros to train in, or someone has already claimed it, the locks only accessible from the inside once you enter. If its unlocked, however, anyone can claim it until the next hour, and looking up, the clock just ticked over to eight.

“Yeah. Okay.” Your anger has diminished only slightly at the sight of Franks sweaty abdomen, the image certainly softening you as he leads you into the room, flicking on the lights and locking the door behind you. “I dont even think Ive been in here before. Have you?”

“Couple a’ times. Gotta show the boys how its done, right?” You roll your eyes and he laughs, the sound echoing around the cement room.

“This isn't fair. You know I dont box.” You swing your body under the ropes and when you straighten, Frank is considerably closer than you thought he would be. He reaches out a hand and takes your own in his, tightening the wraps around them. Its always stronger when he does them for you.

“Dont worry, sweetheart. I’ll go easy on you.” That fucking name. He’s called you that a couple of times, when he’s teasing you, but every time your cheeks flush and you have to avoid his gaze. Even through your pent up anger from today, the name slips through and nestles straight in your stomach, waking dormant butterflies and sending them crazy. You just shake your head and step back, remembering the stance he taught you. Legs shoulder width apart, right foot back, heel off the ground slightly. You bend your knees a little and take a few steps in either direction, testing your stability and giving yourself time to collect your scattered brain, looking up at him.

“Good. Now seriously, Im not going to hit you.” You open your mouth to say something, but he raises one finger, and you huff before letting him continue. “Ill tap you if your hands drop, like this.” He puts his fists up, and with the left hand that hangs in front of his face, he opens it and pushes your head in the opposite direction. Its not hard, barely a percent of his strength. “That okay?”

“Its annoying. But fine.” It was annoying, and you make a point to keep your hands up as he explains so he doesn't do it again. “Should I do the same?” You dont want to hit him, although you would be surprised if you were even able to land a punch, let alone do any real damage, but you still dont want to try. He just smiles at you from behind his fists.

“You hit me as hard as you can.” Your eyes go wide and you begin to protest.

“Frank you-”

“Trust me. I can take it.”

“But I-”

“I can take it. Hit me.” He grits out, and he almost sounds gravelly. You shrug your shoulders and he nods, both of you moving to the right and you punch first, aiming a hit on his ribcage. He blocks it easily, and you go to adjust, but his hand reaches up and pushes your face in the opposite direction, making you stumble. You look up at him, deadpanning.

“Frank.”

“You hit like shit, and you move too slow. C’mon.” Shaking it off you fix yourself in front of him again, moving to the left this time. The anger you felt at your shitty day simmers low in your gut, at least thats what you think it is, and you take a step into him and land a punch in the middle of his chest. He doesn't move, doesn't flinch, your pretty sure he wasn’t breathing. “What was that?”

“A punch?” You screw your eyebrows together and stand up straight, dropping your hands.

“No it wasn’t. It was shit; again.” He hasn’t dropped his stance and you let out a sigh. Your not going to try and hit him like that, no matter how angry at the world you are, you would never take that out on him.

“Frank, even if your being all macho about this, Im not going to try and hit you. I’ll hurt you.” Your hand goes to your hip.

“You could never hurt me.” He says, his voice not faltering for a second. You dont know why you interpret it any other way than a teasing play on your ability to box, but it makes your heart stutter in your chest. He obviously wants this, and as nervous as it makes you, you kind of want to see if you can land an actual hit on this guy, at the very least to get your hands on his sculpted chest one way or the other. “Hit. Me.”

“Okay. You have to tell me if I hurt you though, okay?” You get back into position, looking down at your feet to make sure you have your width right.

“You suggestin’ we need a safe word, sweetheart?” Your jaw drops open slightly and a scoff comes out. He was going to send you into cardiac arrest.

“Lets fight then, big guy.” You both move to the right again, and Frank moves fast, getting around behind you, leaving you a little off guard as you turn. His hand comes up and pushes your face. You huff.

“Focus.” Blowing a hair out of your face, you are already sweating, your previous workout coming at you like a ton of bricks. He moves again and you see your chance, getting low and landing a strong punch into his abdomen, using your body to gain power this time. You dont go full out, but you land it with enough strength you hear a little wind come out of him. Satisfied, you come straight back up, keeping your hands in front of you. “Good. Again.”

You step into him and uppercut into his stomach, stepping back quickly. You look down for a split second to adjust your feet but his hand is already there, shoving you and you realise you dropped your hands. Its pissing you off faster than it should, and if you just kept your damn hands up you wouldn't have to worry, more angry at yourself than him.

“Stop that.” You growl at him and move to the left.

“Stop lettin’ me.” Asshole.

Frank watches in awe from behind his fists at that little spark that comes across your gaze, and he knows he’s got you. It was a little game at first, but now he’s had a taste of that anger, a taste of that sweet pain that comes with the force of you against him, and he knows he sick for craving more. You dont hesitate this time as you ram your fist into his ribs, the hardest you’ve hit him yet. It knocks some of the wind out of him, and he sucks in a breath. Damn, that was fucking hard. Almost as hard at the erection he’s currently sporting, thanking all the gods listening that he decided to wear track pants over his gym shorts, at least they cover up his dignity a little. He wants all of your anger, all that rage you buried into the bag outside the ring, so as soon as he sees your hands drop just a little, he shoves your face again, a little harder.

“Frank! My fucking hands were up.” You grumble at him, planning your next move. You were pissed off now, and if Frank wanted to fuck with you, you were going to fuck with him right back. 

“If they were up I wouldn’t have got you. Again.” His voice sounds dry and low, and if you weren't so riled up you would think it was sexy. No, you do think its sexy, but you cant think about it right now. You step left and hit him again, in the same spot in his ribs. His hand comes up to the left of your face and you block, only to feel him push you on the right.

You say nothing, and instead physically wind up and let your right fist crash into the same spot for a third time. You put all your weight behind it, getting low and swivelling your body, feeling every muscle tense as you collied with his ribcage. He groans and his fists drop, leaning back into the ropes you now realise you backed him into. 

Immediately you regret it. You knew you shouldn't have even gotten in the ring if your head wasn’t on straight, but Frank is so easy to listen to you, and he looked so damn good. Instantly you dont feel angry anymore, the relief replaced by guilt as you look at him, one hand holding his rib and the other leaning on the rope, head hung low.

You move to him, cupping his face in your hands and bringing his gaze to you. Your face is screwed up with worry and his eyes are almost glazed over.

“Frank! Jesus, are you okay? Im so sorry I dont even know-”

“That was fuckin’ perfect. Perfect.” He smiles up at you like some kind of sadist and the hand holding his rib comes to your hip, pulling you closer so that you can feel the sweat of his abdomen against the small part of skin between your bra and tights.

“Are you okay?” You whisper. You dont know why you do, but somehow the proximity you both share makes you feel the need to be quiet, any noise may set this moment alight, and you dont want to be anywhere but pressed against Franks bare chest, panting each others air.

“Never better.” He steps into you, forcing you to take a step back. Then two. You can only focus on the sound of his slightly strained breath in your ear and your hands leave his face, coming to rest on his chest as you reach the centre of the ring. “Again.” You step back and you dont miss the twang of disappointment when his hand comes off your hip.

“No. Im not hitting you again.”

“What makes you think you can, huh? Think I wasn’t going easy on ya?” You know he’s baiting you, and you cant figure out why. Maybe he just wants to piss you off, or maybe he thinks you fight better when your angry, but either way its working and you put your hands up. “Theres my girl.” His slight accent and the way his smile curls up the side of his face reminds you that now you dont feel angry, you start to feel... other things. You step back again, distancing yourself.

You swing a hook with your left hand and he moves just out of reach. You hear him laugh a little, so you swing again, at his head this time. You connect with the arm that comes up to block, and you can feel the strength of his arm under your knuckles. 

“So close.” He says as you shuffle forward, and you have to grind your teeth to keep composure. You dont know what it is about him, but everything he does right now is making the ball of tension in your stomach coil tighter and tighter. He’s always been able to elicit some kind of reaction from you, but its always been in a public place, other eyes on you preventing you from thinking too much about the way he looks at you, his eyes analysing your every move as you practise a new block. Or how hard and perfect his body feels against you as he teaches you a new take down, warm skin burning you in his hold. You put all of your brain power into your next moves, trying to think of literally anything else as he easily evades you.

Frank doesn’t know why he does it, and it takes all of his self control to move out of the way of your hits, his mind telling him to just let you hit him every time so he could feel you that close again. Backed up against the ropes, your hands on his face, when he finally wrapped his hand around the hip that had been the object of his fucking imagination for weeks. He’s going insane, that must be the reason he can’t form a coherent thought as you step to him, matching every move he makes. Your good, he knows that because he taught you, and every time you miss he can tell you only get more aggressive, still in control but you come at him with more fire, and the anticipation of when you inevitably collied with him is almost better than the actual hit. Frank is distracted by you, all of you moving and flexing in front of him, attention devoted to him, that when you connect a right jab to his chest, it knocks him back. 

This time you dont check on him, you just come again, landing a left hook to his side. He doesn’t have time to recover and you hit him again, another right jab. He’s backed into a corner and you punch again, but his right arm grabs your wrist, yanking you against him. You can feel his heartbeat in your own chest, and he’s breathing hard, nearly as wiped out as you. 

“That all you got?” he purrs in your ear, and he swears he can see the final straw break. You are faster than he thought, and using the hold he has on your wrist you swing him over your shoulder. Using his own strength against him, just like he taught you, you flip him over and he lands on his back, hitting the matt with a hard whack. 

Your on him simultaneously, both legs straddling either side of his ribcage, and your forearm comes down on his chest, using all your strength to hold him down. The only sounds that fill the empty room is the quiet ticking of the clock and Frank underneath you, wheezing a little under your body.

“You gonna tap out, Castle?” Hell yeah you are cocky, the giant mass of man underneath you making you feel a lot more accomplished than you thought. You don’t care that he was probably letting you throw him down, you still did it without any help, only ever completing the move  before when Frank coached you through it. He just looks up at you and smiles. “What?”

“I taught you that.” He says, and you take your forearm off him and sit back on his abs, laughing. When you sit back both of his hands come up and rest on your thighs. You stop laughing and look down at him, your ponytail falling to the side of your face.

Frank thinks you look like some kind of angel. Your hair is all frayed and pulled out in places and it frames your face so perfect, and theres a light above your head that sits directly above you, shining down and lighting you up, every bead of sweat glistening on your body, and his eyes catch on one that slides down the valley of your chest, disappearing under the tight confines of your bra. He tightens the grip on your thighs and he feels you shift on top of him, and he nearly groans at the sensation.

“Why were you so angry today?” Frank breaks the silence under you, and yo dont know why you haven’t gotten up yet, but his hands wrap  around your thighs, almost taking up the entire space of them.

“Just a really bad day. My boss is a dick and my office building has rats. Oh! My car broke down and I was late, too. And it was raining. ” You could feel the tension falling from your shoulders as you sat on top of Frank and told him about your day, somehow never feeling more natural. “Dont even get me started on my apartment. Probably have nothing left.”

“You got robbed?” Frank tenses under you and you shake your head and put a hand on his chest.

“No. Flooded, though. Cant stay there for two weeks. I came straight here.” You shake your head thinking about how ridiculous your situation is. 

“No wonder you hit me so hard.” He laughs under you and you resist the urge to swat him.

“Shut up. You asked for it.”

“Yeah, I did.” His hand slides up your thigh just an inch and the muscles under them tense at his touch. You swallow hard. You cant read his expression, but he just stares at you as he moves his hands another inch higher. “You alright?” He asks, not knowing if he’s talking about your apartment or his wandering hands, but it doesn’t matter because the answer is a desperate yes that you somehow manage to squeak out. He smiles again, that half smirk thing he does when you finally figure out whatever he is teaching you, and your palms start to get sweaty.

“M’ fine.” The ticking of the clock reminds you that you still have 20 minutes of uninterrupted time alone with him, and it suddenly doesn’t feel long enough.

“You dont look fine.”

“I dont?” He shakes his head and his fingers splay across you, squeezing lightly. It feels good on your tight muscles and you drop the last of your weight on top on him, relaxing.

“You seem strung out. Need to relax.” He’s no longer looking at you, murmuring his words under his breath and his eyes roam your body, taking in every minuscule detail that rests on top of him.

“I thought thats why we were fighting?” Your voice is small, and his fingers tighten and relax on your thigh, massaging.

“We were fighting cause you were damn pissed. You still feelin’ angry?” You shake your head, unable to speak. “Good. Just need ya to relax for me now, okay?” Now you nod. 

Frank is straining to control himself, your obedient nods and the way you rest against him, full body weight sinking into him has his cock tenting his pants. He’s damn happy you are facing him right now or you would see just how much you effect him, because he wants this to be about you. As much as he needs you, he can wait a little longer if it means he gets to see you come apart while he watches. Besides, this will be indulging him just as much as you. 

He cant count how many times he’s dreamed of this, of you using him to get your anger out, get rid of all your frustrations. Every day in the gym, no matter if your high off a great day at work or dead tired, you use him as your outlet, and he will take anything and everything you give him, but here, with you on top of him, he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t imagined how you would use him like this. He wanted to drown in you, wanted you to take all that natural dominance you exude in training and suffocate him with it, letting you use him in an entirely new way. The thought of tasting you makes his mouth water, and his hands travel to your hips, squeezing gently.

You were out of breath and dizzy, and the way he held you made you feel things you haven’t felt in years. The past few weeks have been a silent torture, having his body so close but somehow not close enough. His fingers lightly brush the sliver of skin above your tights and slip just below the hem, and you sigh.

“These expensive?” He plays with the hem and you shake your head, the tights being one of the few spare pairs you keep in your locker here for when you can’t be bothered to go home and change first. “Good.” The rip of fabric makes you flinch slightly as he tears the tights off your body, cool air kissing your bare skin, the tattered remains falling to the sides. You are left sitting above him, only in your sports bra and white underwear, thankful you wore something sort of cute today. Your jaw hangs open at his raw strength and it only swirls that tight ball of need in your lower stomach tighter, and the breeze coming from one of the windows reminds you how wet you are and you shiver.

“Frank, w-what are... Jesus. What are you doing?” You cant focus and his hands slide along your skin, coming up and over your hips, fingertips stopping just under your bra and sliding back down, sparks flying everywhere.

“Gonna help you relax. That okay?” 

“Y-yes. Yes.” You are nodding frantically and his hands stop on your hips, and pull you forward, your legs shuffling up his body. You pick up on what he’s doing as he stops you just under his chin, the only thing stopping him from touching you the weight you support in your legs.

“Good girl. Gonna reward you for being so good.” One hand hooks underneath your underwear, and he trails a light line over your centre, making you shudder his name. “You this fuckin’ wet for me already?” He trails is hand over your clit again, and takes the same finger and slides it inside you once, curling and hitting that exact right spot. You moan and he slips out of you, bringing the finger coated with your taste and wrapping his mouth over it, and his eyes flutter closed.

Frank nearly comes in his pants at the taste of you. You are sweet and perfect, more incredible than he could have ever imagined. Your face when he slid into you is etched into his brain forever, and there will never be a day that it doesn’t make him rock fucking hard. The way you react to him makes him think you’ve wanted this just as long as he has, and he doesn’t waste any more time indulging either of your fantasies. He rips your underwear off too, shoving the frayed fabric into the pocket of his track pants. He kisses you once, right where you need him to, both strong hands coming to your bare ass, forcing you down on him. You strain only slightly, not wanting to put your whole weight on him, and he growls under neath you.

“Thought you were gonna be good for me; let me help you.” He kisses your inner thigh and looks up at you.

“I am! But I-”

“Sit.” He’s still staring at you, peppering soft kisses up and down where ever he can reach on your thighs. You trust him, and given what you were just doing, you know he would tell you if there was something he couldn’t handle.

“Okay, just throw me off or something if you need to, please okay?” Your eyes aren’t focusing on anything but him, and you see him smirk and roll his eyes.

“Yeah. Sure. Now c’mere. Lemme give you what you need.” You shuffle a little more and let your legs relax, and he dives into you. One hand remains on your hip while the other slides inside you, two fingers gently caressing that growing need in your stomach. His tongue works you expertly, and your back arches as both your hands come down to grab his hair, pulling and twisting in pleasure.

“Oh fuck! Frankfrankfrankplease!” You dont know what your asking for, just that he is the only one that can give it to you, your hips grinding against his face, feeling his nose lightly brush your clit with each movement.

“That’s is baby. Fuckin’ take it.” He says the words into you and you can feel the heat of his breath on your core. You bite your lip and the hand not in his hair finds the one of his on your hips, grabbing it desperately. He lets go of you and your fingers intertwine, you leaning forward over him unable to hold up your bodyweight. His hand doesn't leave yours and you hold onto him tightly, your hips still moving against his face.

Frank is surrounded by you. Your thighs squeeze his head and keep him perfectly in place between you, and the way you lean over him slightly means he has the perfect view of your face as he fucks you with his tongue and fingers. You move against him without him having to tell you, your natural desires taking over the worry of hurting him. He loves to watch you lose control, and the sweet sounds mixed with his name that leave your mouth make him moan against you.

“God, you taste so fuckin’ sweet. You like usin’ me like this, huh sweetheart?” You nod, or you think you do, but the hand that was inside you comes around the back and grips your ass, tight. “Need to hear it.” He groans into you as his tongue replaces his fingers.

“You - Yes, Frank. Fuck, it feels so good.” You breath and your whole body feels like its on fire, pleasure building in every part of you. You aren’t going to last much longer, his mouth working furiously on you as his hand comes back to join it.

“Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl.” His praise is all you want, all you’ll ever need, and you move your hips, pull his hair, try to figure out whatever it is that he wants. “You think you can come for me?” Your eyes are squeezed shut and you nod, all he needs to do is ask you to do it and you will. He has you wrapped around his fingers, literally.

Frank never wants this to end, but somehow he retains the slightest bit of composure to remember the time limit on the gym room only gives him another couple of minutes in paradise. He could spend an eternity between your legs, and he would when he got you home, but right now he needed you to come just as bad as you did. He kept fucking you with his fingers, and when ever he spoke his thumb replaced his mouth, knowing it would ultimately be his words that pushed you over. He could tell you loved his mouth, both on you and speaking all your dirty thoughts back to you, and he loved that it was him and only him you responded to like that.

“Alright baby, I need you to come for me, okay?” You were a whimpering mess above him, hips moving frantically and legs shaking. Your muscles were like jelly and he could feel you tighten around him. You babble out a few words and he thinks he hears his name in between them, and he smiles up at you as your eyes slowly open.

“I know your s’close. Can feel it. Relax for me, okay?” You choke out a moan and pull his hair, tighter than you had before, and he muffles his moan by putting his mouth back on you, wanting to taste you when you finish. 

“Fucking hell! Frank!” You scream his name and your body jerks on top of him as you finally find your orgasm, Franks fingers repeatedly and brutally fucking you through it. His mouth takes in everything you give it, slurping up any evidence of your pleasure, making the most vulgar sounds that only make you cum harder. Your entire head feels fuzzy and your lungs have no air, Franks hands leaving you only to slide into his own mouth, cleaning them off before rubbing soothing circles on your lower back. 

Your hands are still intertwined on your other side and you sit back, your back leaning against his two strong legs that have bent up to create a rest. He sits up, chasing you and kisses your neck lightly.

“You feelin’ better, baby?” You can’t speak, mind still numb, but you nod and he presses a soft kiss to your lips, making your eyes shoot open.

“That was our first kiss.” You stutter, and he just kisses you again, deeper this time.

He whispers in your ear, and you giggle in his hold. “We gotta get out of here, though.” You rest your forehead against his.

“Huh?”

“Thirty seconds and the doors gonna open.” You whip your head around and see the clock reading eight fifty nine. Shit!

“Frank. My tights.” You didn’t even think of it, but you look down at how very naked you were from the waist down, and he picks you up, standing with you in his arms, only setting you down when he’s sure you have found your own footing. He slides down his track pants. You cant help but stare and watch, and you see the obvious outline of his very hard erection, him attempting to tuck it into the waist band on his now exposed gym shorts.

“Put these on. We can pick up your clothes on the way to mine.” In shock, you take the track pants and slide them on, having to use the hair tie that was holding your hair up to tie the side of them so they dont fall off your waist. Frank stuffs the remains of your tights into his gym bag and comes back to you, planting a kiss on your lips as the doors open, him pulling away just in time to be missed by the entering crowd.

“Hey Castle! You guys finished up in here? Need to get in some practise before next weekend.” You knew the voice talking, you recognised him as one of the faces on the poster out the front, advertising for the gyms next fight night. 

“Yeah, we’re good. Just practising.” He looks back at you and smiles, swinging his body under the rope and you realise you haven’t moved, quickly following him.

“Ah, you’re leaving? Could really use a sparring partner.” The guy says, and your eyes widen. Frank trains with this guy? A whole new wave of desire flushes your cheeks and you look up at him, a slight fear that he would take him up on the offer.

“Yeah, gotta get my girl home.” He pulls you closer to him, swinging an arm around you as you head towards the door, uttering a quick goodbye to the waving fighter you leave behind. You hear the door click lock behind you and you descend the stairs, Frank leading you towards his car.

“Your girl?” You can’t help it, the way your heart nearly jumped out of your mouth when he said it. Did he think of you like that?

“Yeah. My girl. That okay?”

“Fine with me.” A giant grin betrays your attempt to stay casual and he opens the door for you, laughing. Anticipation begins to build as soon as he closes the door, unsure of what the next few hours will hold. He opens the drivers side door and starts the car, punching in your address and the car knows it already from the multiple times he’s driven you home.

“You think you’ll have enough clothes for two weeks or do we gotta get some?” Franks question confuses you for a moment, and then you nearly choke on your inhale in realisation.

“Oh, you so dont have to let me stay with you. Seriously, I’ll just get a hotel.” 

“C’mon, cant have my girl staying in a hotel.” That same goofy grin returns to your face, and his hand comes to rest on your inner thigh. “Besides, we got a lot of work to do, and I dont wanna be disturbed this time.” You shiver, your imagination running wild.

Sitiing back in the seat with Franks hand running up and down your leg, you cant believe you thought anything negative about today, and sliding your hands in the pockets of Franks track pants, feeling the remains of your torn underwear, you think you’ll mark this as one of your best days yet.

[miengsol]

REALLY   LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY .

RULES. repost, don’t  reblog ! tag 10 ! good  luck !

TAGGED. @undrowns​​ ( winter introduced a demon so they’re getting tagged in all of these :P ) TAGGING. @fbiartist​ @weirdmoon​ @escapedartgeek​ @hackiish​ @temporalobjects​ ( iwai! ) and i’ve tagged most of the people i write with on this, but also i’ve spent way too much time on this ( i should’ve been doing a job application but it’s sunday who cares ) so if you’re tagged here it just means ‘hi i wanted ur attention thanks for reading :D ‘ @shamsgoddess​ @manticxre​ @genieuslaw​ @bloodxhound​ @virtusdemonte​​ @solarguided​ @edgelord-dl6​ @kagoshou​ @jeoseungsaja​ @mythvoiced​ and @gwyynbleidd​

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :  calum hyun-ki reynolds NICKNAME :  cal, but only a few people are allowed to call him that ( fun fact, it’s not mana or daniel ) NAME  MEANING / S :  research says that ‘calum’ means dove, borrowed from the scottish language- so ‘peace’. his korean name ‘hyun-ki’ means wisdom.

HISTORICAL  CONNECTION? :  none, absolutely none although his adoptive parents did boast about their long line of ancestry that the ‘reynolds’ family has had since say the 1800s. he doesn’t care much, honestly. AGE : 31. BIRTHDAY : october 9th. ETHNIC  GROUP : korean. NATIONALITY : american ( naturalized ).   LANGUAGE / S : fluent in english and korean, but more so in english. conversational in vietnamese. as an adoptee from south korea, korean is his mother tongue, but he lost fluency once he was adopted by his family in the states. after graduating from college, he really makes a point to learn the language as a way of a. reconnecting with his roots and b. honoring his friendship with daniel. he was learning vietnamese from his wife and still uses it to the best of his ability when speaking with her grandmother. SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :  bisexual. ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : biromantic. probably demi-romantic too. RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : main verse- single it’s complicated aka he’s still grieving mana’s passing. pre-mana’s passing though very happily taken/married to mana. CLASS : upper-middle class. it actually used to be upper class since his family was very well off but when he started putting distance between them, there was definitely an adjustment to be made. his job pays very well though so he can definitely live comfortably while taking care of a child…he just chooses to live more simply. HOME  TOWN / AREA :  montgomery, new jersey.   CURRENT  HOME : brooklyn, new york. PROFESSION : a registered nurse for the ICU.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : dark brown. EYES : dark brown, doe eyed. he’s kinda self conscious about that bc he got picked on a lot for that as a child…said he wasn’t korean bc his eyes weren’t slanted ( ie. racist kids :/ ) NOSE: it works. FACE :  *inserts pics of SHINee’s Choi Minho here* I can’t do physical descriptions and i get uncomfortable when it comes to body parts especially bc of how creepy and fetishizing it can get in these parts of rpc :// LIPS :  full?? they work?? COMPLEXION : uhhh beige?  but would still be considered light-skinned. the way i’d describe it is that in western countres, he would be considered light-skinned, but if he were to go to say south korea or other east asian countries, people would note his skin is a tad darker. TATTOOS : none, but i think I’d like him to get a tattoo on his back after his journey is complete… HEIGHT : 5′11” BUILD : althetic ? pretty toned? broad shoulders? he’s like  a good middle between slender and muscular although if he did actually put more effort into exercise, ppl would notice-hm. well I’d say his personality and the fact he usually dresses formally hides pretty well that he does work out. that and he’s a nurse- he has to be strong when it comes to handling the more rowdy patients. USUAL HAIR STYLE :  used to put more effort into combing it, but nowadays he’s pretty low-maintenance. if the front strands are covering his ears, it’s too long, he gets it cut. he does have a lot of hair though…he definitely does have what one will call a bedhead.  his hair is v soft though- thank his conditioner USUAL FACE LOOK : mellow. very mellow even when he’s not smiling. generally even if he’s not the friendliest person in the room, he gives off a welcoming vibe. one of ease and gentleness. when he was younger, he was a lot more expressive although now he tends to be more reserved especially when it comes to expressing negative emotions outside of anxiety and worry. USUAL  CLOTHING : formal and muted/dark colors. he grew up in a rather waspish family so one of the first things he learned growing up was to always dress as if going to one of dad’s fancy parties. ie. dress to blend in, dress one hair short of a suit- button-downs, slacks, sweater vests, occasionally suspenders too. dark or neutral colors. no patterns whatsoever. at this in his life, he’d feel rather naked if he went out in anything else ( outside of workout clothes- but most of the people in his life don’t see him when he does that ). most of his clothes, he’s had for years since he takes good care of them and generally they all fit well together as he knows how to layer.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : abandonment. multiple losses starting first with his birth mother, then daniel, and now mana basically has calum terrified of being left alone and so much so that he overcompensates by being self-sacrificial bc if you’re kind and selfless, people are more likely to stick around, right? i would also note that these losses do have calum wondering if he’s really just not worth sticking around for and maybe he’s destined to be alone. also his shitty toxic family also had drilled into his head that love has to be earned- okay enough with the rambling on his part, we’ve talked extensively about this before. ASPIRATION / S : just being the best dad he can possibly be for erza. basically both he and mana looked at their own families and the models they had for parenting and said ‘we’re going to do the exact opposite of both of those’.  especially following his suicide attempt, calum makes it a point to make sure that erza gets the childhood he and mana never got. POSITIVE  TRAITS : perhaps one of the kindest and warmest individuals you will ever meet.  one can’t help but feel the world is a little gentler and more forgiving when around him, esp. when he smiles. empathetic and selfless too, he listens well and takes on your problems and emotions as if they were his own and he does it because he genuinely cares. emotionally mature and very forgiving as well- he understands very well that there is always more than one version to any story and because people are inherently flawed, they cannot be blamed. still, he always believes in the best of the people and is more inclined to see the positives of others. thoughtful and generous- always looking out for the well-being of others, both emotionally and physically. quick to praise others as well. Emotionally intuitive and scarily observant. he picks up on both emotional and social cues very quickly and can adjust his behavior so to be a source of comfort. given the right energy, he can be playful as well- adores children as they’re a source of innocence he feels he needs to protect and nurture. intelligent and reasonable- has a good balance of book, emotional, and street intelligence. it’s not easy being a nurse considering one has to know the human body, all the procedures and also balance that with the comfort of the patient as well! despite appearing fragile, resilient, even if he doesn’t feel like he is- as long as someone needs to be taken care of, he will not break. NEGATIVE  TRAITS :  his selflessness and empathy is a double-edged sword. soft-spoken and in a way a people pleaser- he struggles with voicing his own thoughts, emotions, and desires because he prioritizes the needs of others equal if not more than his own. self-effacing- conflict avoidant. sensitive and emotional although having those emotions is very different from actually acting on them. distant and withdrawn- uses his kindness and selflessness as a means of both keeping his loved ones close but also to maintain emotional distance ( ie. knowing the real him ). anxious and a worrywart- doesn’t know how to relax! despite being emotionally mature and knowing how to read other people, he doesn’t actually know much about himself? very good at denial and terrible at letting go of the past. MBTI :  isfj-t. ZODIAC : libra sun, taurus moon, and cancer rising. TEMPERAMENT : phlegmatic ANIMALS :  the doe. VICE / S : envy and sloth. ( fun fact, it used to be alcohol but then development happened- ) ANYWAYS does emotional repression count? GHOSTS ? : yes. erza can see them and mana could sense them. also in ace attorney verse, the fey clan makes this fact very apparent. AFTERLIFE ? : he hopes so. REINCARNATION ? : perhaps ALIENS ? : okay! POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT : he works in healthcare, do u know how much a mess the healthcare system is in the usa?? basically he’d really like it if people actually took science seriously and didn’t go trust politicians over you know, actual experts in their field. he’d also like it if his government actually cared about the people its supposed to serve. also he’s a queer asian american man- he’d really like to feel safe in his own country. ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :  admittedly, he is more used to the finer things in life, but over the years he’s adjusted. upper middle class sounds good. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : middle class leaning more towards upper middle. EDUCATION  LEVEL : bachelor’s degree in nursing. passed the nclex – is considering a master’s degree though for a pay raise…

FAMILY.

FATHER :  henry gray reynolds. a businessman high up on the ladder. very much of an absentee father, just with how much time he takes away from family to work. that being said, he’s one of those ‘old sport’ kind of dads? guy who’s like obsessed with men acting like real men- you can see how calum’s sensitivity can make this relationship very draining.  strict too. took his family to a lot of the high class parties for work. MOTHER : annalise marie reynolds. retired anchorwoman. became a housewife when kaitlin was born. basically a karen…with way too much time on her hands. because traditional family structures convinced her to give up her job, she heavily identifies with her status as a mother. hyperfocused on her children but the concern easily becomes excessive criticism especially for calum. she also is quite insecure about her status as his adoptive mom and therefore didn’t encourage him to connect with his roots when he was younger. calum is estranged from both of his parents. SIBLINGS : kaitlin reynolds. older sister- was the favorite child in the family. became a doctor and occasionally visits calum and erza. was distant from calum, finding his sensitivity and the fact they didn’t look alike embarrassing, but now is a doting aunt. calum is still v wary of her.

SPOUSE ( S ) : mana minh huynh. his deceased wife. the love of his life. CHILDREN : erza, calum and mana’s three year old child. he’s ( they in the future- they’re genderfluid ) v nervous and timid, but also a sweet, sweet child. there isn’t anything calum wouldn’t do for them. has calum’s eye shape, but mana’s eye color. EXTENDED  FAMILY : an aunt with two sons on his mom’s side and two uncles plus four cousins ( two daughters and two sons ) on his dad’s side. calum avoids them all like the plague. but also hong huynh, his wife’s maternal grandmother! calum and erza are very close to her!!

FAVOURITES.

BOOK :  the little prince MOVIE : none, he doesn’t like watching movies or tv shows in general. 5  SONGS :  this is where i admit i took heavy inspiration from furuba so- umareru negai but also osts including i’m the one always being saved and i’ll protect you. SHINee’s good evening and drive. but an english song, i’d pick selena gomez’s back to you, an acapella version of something just like this, and porter robinson’s shelter. that’s more than five songs isn’t it? whoops. HOLIDAY : new year’s MONTH :  august   SEASON :  spring PLACE :  his freshman dorm bc that’s where he, daniel, and mana really bonded and became a trio WEATHER : clear, warm days with a gentle breeze.   SOUND / S  :  heart beats, heart monitors, soft humming/singing, simple piano melodies, erza’s laughter, happy tears, ovens dinging, SCENT / S  :  isophopanol, strawberries, beach breezes, anything he’s baking/cooking TASTE / S :  strawberries, sour gummies ( green and orange flavors ), pocky, soup of any kind, mu naengmyeon, bubble tea ( taro flavor ), pudding, and takoyaki FEEL / S : bandages, gudetama stuffed animals, blankets, pillows- just soft materials one can lay on in general, sticky adhesive of post-it notes, smooth pages of calendars and planners ANIMAL / S : still the doe ( and gudetama if he counts ). NUMBER : 3 COLOR :  pastel blue-green, it leans more towards blue tho, pastel blue, pastel pink, and cream white.

EXTRA. TALENTS :  baking and music!! baking is his stress reliever- he started doing it in high school because daniel offhandedly told him he should make more food for him and their high school friends…daniel didn’t think calum would actually take that seriously sjdklfjskdl. but in terms of what he likes to bake, usually it’s the simple stuff like cookies and cake, but especially when mana’s health took a turn for the worse, he began to focus on making desserts that aren’t necessarily as sweet/ require as much sugar or milk to make. music on the other hand- he has a good intuition ( and ear ) when it comes to music. he danced in high school and did acapella in college, where during his second year, he was elected ( forced ) into being the music director for his group aka making the play set and the arrangements. He had pick up both basic piano skills and compose very quickly there. these days, he’s not doing as much music, but maybe one day…! TURN  ONS :  honesty and sincerity. he’s so used to reading between the lines for so many people that he likes it when people are willing to be upfront about what they’re thinking/feeling ( should also mention he likes honesty by it’s the other person’s choice to be so ). kindness and thoughtfulness, and like genuine kindness bc he knows the difference between niceness and actually kindness- it always takes him off guard when he’s the recipient though. subtlety, tact, and panache- he’s a very private person so he appreciate people who know how to charm without making it completely obvious. maturity, people who know how to take care of themselves and decisiveness- that’s ( unfortunately ) really hot in his opinion. TURN  OFFS : grand gestures, especially when it comes to romance gestures- as the recipient of such acts on a familial level, he doesn’t trust that, doesn’t people who claim that they will always be there for him if he needs them. he trusts action and daily devotion over words and grand gestures. he doesn’t want to be wowed- he wants to trust that you will be there for him both during the good and bad moments. smooth talkers, unreliable people, people who badtalk others. Tiptoeing on eggshells- he’s been underestimated multiple times in his life which frustrates him bc he knows he is capable of taking care of himself, he doesn’t need to be handled with kid gloves. HOBBIES : baking, reading, listening to podcasts/radio, piano, and occasionally dance? AESTHETIC : heartbeats,  heart rate signals, hearts in general!! preferably the pastel blue ones although we can also have hearts that are cracked but there’s either a bandage on it or the heart is still whole, bandages, oven mitts and aprons, music notes, a child running towards you, unmade beds, walls covered in post-it notes, calendars meticulously filled out with events right down to the time, light peeking in through the curtains, wedding rings, wedding ring on his finger and around his neck, holding hands, waves crashing in the distance QUOTES :  there’s a lot but here’s a personal one: “mana, i’m sorry. i’m not like you- i’m weak. really weak actually. i can’t go on alone, but there’s someone who needs me…and if erza still feels that way then maybe someone like me can keep going-“

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC / S : shinee’s minho and satsuki shishio from hirunaka n ryuusei ALT  FC / S : n/a OLDER  FC / S : n/a   YOUNGER  FC / S :  see the nice thing about minho is that he’s been in the industry for 13 years…there are pics of him when he was younger <3   VOICE  CLAIM / S : have u ever heard minho’s speaking voice? I imagine that but then also probably a lot softer. minho has a wonderful voice!!

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1:   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?       A1 : this is where i say i shameless took inspiration from furuba…but yeah so at least this part of calum’s life would be a lot like furuba- an emotional drama. it’s a slice-of-life- a good balance of humor and drama, much like with mana’s story. not afraid to dive into the darker parts of the story. relies a ton on emotional cues and the audience being able to pick up for themselves what’s going on internally. every physical action has meaning behind it. i’d say the story/tv show would be told in two seasons? the first one would focus on calum and mana’s budding relationship and its progression up until her death and then the second one would start off more calum centric but also slowly bring the love interest who comes after into the picture.

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?         A2 :  definitely a variety as the music would set the mood of every scene. honestly if you looked at furuba and clannad’s soundtracks that’s the vibe I’d give. No rock or heavy metal pieces…overall it’s a very gentle soundtrack- sounds soft on the ears.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?   A3 : i wanted mana to have a love interest, so that’s why I made calum in the first place. HOWEVER, because her story had been constantly changing, I had a difficult time giving calum a consistent personality…at one point his name was brennan wallace, he was white, and he had red hair. the one thing that remained consistent tho was that calum was a very lonely person and mana would be the first to recognize that. ANYWAYS, shocking, though I have harsh opinions on it now, calum’s personality came from listening to kpop…i saw lee d*ong*hae’s public persona and I was like, huh that’s interesting personality, lemme play with that. calum was supposed to be flirt who was also secretly a crybaby and then he became a fulltime crybaby jsdklfjskld but actually this particular timeline happened bc i read shitty fanfiction ( mana originally was supposed to die from childbirth- do u see the cliché here ) and originally daniel was also supposed to be alive, but then one sunny afternoon i thought hey what if daniel also was dead, how would calum, someone who very much needs someone to love, cope and then the rest of history…I don’t think I answered this question quite right, but yeah, there’s ur origin story. but he was also the first character that actually like��clicked for me? like writing him felt natural. at least on tumblr, he was the first character that I like, actually got people’s attention on.

Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A4 : he’s the most human character i have. honestly, I’ve always related best to shy, timid, but sweet characters but the characterizations most times, authors tend to mess up…I wanted to see if I could write a character like that but realistically too. but on a more ic level, I think it’s the fact that even tho he was handed really shitty cards in life, it doesn’t stop him from being kind, gentle, and soft, none of which should ever be taken for weakness. There was a time period on here where calum was starting to get increasingly cynical tho…had to pull the plug there bc then that wouldn’t be calum any more. but this time around, I think it’s also the character arc I have planned for him ( ie. become more selfish ). he’s a flawed person and not to mention a flawed parent as well, but despite feeling like he’s had everything he’s loved/cared for taken away, it doesn’t stop him from living, from being still just as loving and gentle.

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.         A5 : he’s so fucking picky with who he trusts. calum doesn’t let people in easily and back when I was shipping him more liberally with other people, I realize part of the reason so many of those ships didn’t work out was because he didn’t feel comfortable with letting his guard down. no matter how open the other party was, if he doesn’t feel comfortable there’s a good chance he won’t open up anyways. you could know him for years and he still wouldn’t be completely comfortable with being vulnerable with you. as of today october 24, 2021, i can count on one hand the number of muses from this hellsite whom he’s actually opened up to- there’s only been two. basically, at this point, i’m not the driver, he’s literally dragging me wherever he wants and I can’t stop him, someone send help

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?       A6 : i don’t know if this is bragging on my part, but I feel like I relate to calum the most out of all of my muses ( although lamon’s up there too ). we both do tend to absorb and mirror the energies of the ppl around us and excessively so too so we’re careful about who we let into our inner circles. we’re both not that great about communicating our needs to our loved ones bc we don’t want to upset them…i’ve also been told I’m sweet, but who knows there. we also do get pushed around a lot and we won’t say anything...i will say a lot of what calum does is actually based on things i probably would’ve done back when I was in school although I wasn’t nearly as selfless *laughs* that’s probably why I relate to him so much sjdkflsjdl

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?         A7 :  I think we’d get along pretty well!! I don’t think I’d necessarily be as close to him as say mana or daniel, but I think since we have similar mindsets ( not histories- thankful my life is not nearly as chaotic as calum’s has been ), i think I’d be able to relate to a lot of the feelings and thoughts he’s had. kinda like distantly empathetic/kindred spirits if you know what i mean sjdfklsjf. i think we’d be those friends that only meet up once every few months, but when we do, we talk about everything….maybe I’m being too optimistic about this but I woluld hope I could be someone he’d be comfortable with confiding in even if all I could do is listen and support from the sidelines.

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions with ?   A8 : canonically, there’s three- mana, daniel, and erza!! so I know I talk a lot about how much I ship mana and calum, but seriously, you read my thesis, u would understand why they’re so important to me both separately and as a pair. My thesis is essentially their love story/how they got together, but first it’s one about moving forward from loss and grief and how they found solace and healing in each other….but on a character level, mana is just?? So good to him?? like it might seem like calum takes care of her more than she does in return, but mana does just as much the same on a more emotional level. She’s the first person to recognize his loneliness, but also to recognize how resilient he is emotionally, how observant and prudent he is,  and how he takes care of all the people around him. that’s not easy and she respects him for that. never once has she underestimated him- basically she’s the first person to actually treat him like an equal, even before daniel.

And daniel!! I don’t talk about them enough, but daniel was calum’s first friend- the two of them are really childhood friends who also had mutual unspoken crushes on one another. daniel was very protective of his friend. calum was devastated when he passed. finally erza- the light of calum’s life. literally the reason calum’s been able so far to keep going after mana’s passing. there isn’t anything that calum wouldn’t give up for erza and he knows that erza is terrified of losing their dad again, he just doesn’t know how to bring the topic up to a third year old kid- ( also canonical love interest, whose storyline I have all plotted out in my head, I just need actually get it down on paper *cries* ) now on tumblr, there’s been a lot over the years, both good and bad, but let’s go with the ones we have now!

Gotta start with winter’s tida ( @undrowns​ ), we’ve been writing together since like 2018?? wow that feels like years ago, but seriously I’m grateful to both winter and tida for many things and I’ve said this before, but there will probably be more things I’ll be grateful to both of them. tida and calum are basically lifelong friends…! Tida’s known both calum and mana and has seen calum both at his best and his worst- if he’s still around , then there’s no way that friendship is dying anytime soon. Also they have so many running jokes- like sleeping with ur dad ( although that one’s not funny anymore it’s just sad :/ ), the rubber ducks, grilled cheese sandwiches…cheers to friends who can serious with one another one moment and then get into an ( friendly ) argument over the best fast food chains! another person to commemorate for sticking around for a while is cyan and ray ( @bloodxhound​ ). Okay so maybe calum and ray aren’t nearly as close, but that novella thread of 60+ notes?? How’d we do that back into 2019, I dunno, but it’s one of my dearest threads and I think it’s a GREAT first meeting thread for calum and ray, even if calum had at least 3 different heart attacks since he was being framed for murder, erza was a witness and he might’ve lied ( terribly too ) to scary detective man. well, at least they can be colleagues since calum feels obligated to be the medical expert whenever ray needs one for his case-

also kendall and ziva ( @fbiartist​ )- I’m actually kind of amazed the ship is still going?? Like this ship was supposed to be casual, but the more calum interacts with ziva, the more I became convinced that yeah this is someone who calum would fall for. basically the two of them have very similar traumas and emotional wounds and as such can see right pass each other’s walls and coping mechanisms. I like that they’re not afraid to call each other out on it either. ziva’s one of the few people calum’s actually opened up to and though we’re currently reconfiguring their dynamic with his new development in mind, I’m convinced that he’s gonna fall in love with her all over again. truly the only exception in both of our books.

some other friendships to note tho- his friendship with zora ( @escapedartgeek​ ) they don’t necessarily see the world the same way but they do support each other in what little ways they can, his family-like bond with Teresa ( @virtusdemonte​ ), I actually see them a bit like kindred spirits since they both are individuals full of light and don’t like to talk about themselves RIP, and also ares’ nayuta ( @solarguided​ )- I just realized yuta’s known mana since 2017 and holy, that’s amazing, but yeah yuta had a more tumultuous beginning with calum since they actually met after mana passed away. but it’s cool now, they support each very well together well!!

there are so many more tho that i can’t wait to develop like with aurora, daeyoung, saja, genie, godot, eshu, and more :D

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?       A9 : FURUBA. Okay but also calum is my comfort muse, if mana’s got my soul, then calum’s got my heart. I could never abandon either of those two. I’ve been writing him for so long and while I’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way, I really, really want him to just find happiness ( and maybe a new love interest too?? manifesting pls ). He’s been through enough both in his backstory and on here, that’s all I really want.

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?       A10 : too long, winter introduced a demon and it reproduced and I decided instead of giving up, I would slay them all. send supplies, I have four more to go ;-;

[onewithnomightypowers]

clandestine (chapter 1)

PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.

Chapter 1: too wise to trust

A/N: y/n is bisexual but not paired with a women. the characters have been aged up. the characters in no way portray how these ppl are in real life. i do not encourage cheating. i hope you guys like it as much is i do. if you want to be tagged them pls tell me. also comments are appreciated as they motivate me to write more and i love to know how you guys feel about the story.  

warning: cursing, mention of miscarriage, mention of sex, mention of cat calling, angst. fluff? 

word count: 1.4k

important: character thoughts are bold and italic, flashback is in italic

masterlist   series masterlist   chapter 2

She picked up her makeup bag from her vanity and started walking towards her empty suitcase which was wide open on her bed. “What time is your flight?” Haz asked while walking into their bedroom. “I think it’s at 6:30 in the evening but the car will be here to pick me up at 4”, she replied whilst folding her clothes.

“So we have at least an hour to us”; he pulled her by the waist and started kissing her neck. She tried pushing his chest away but failed miserably. “Haz, I’m not in the mood, please stop”

“Fine. But you have been saying that for months now”, he was frustrated.

She ignored his words like always. 

He was right. They hadn’t had sex for at least five months now and it was starting to gain on Harrison. Their marriage, which had been ‘couple goals’ according to the internet, was now slowly falling apart. It was clear that Y/N was falling out of love but she couldn’t find grounds for it. She couldn’t reason it by making him the villain because he was a good man who, in theory, had done nothing wrong. Though, to her, it felt like he had. Maybe he didn’t love her enough or maybe all had gone astray when they had lost their baby last year.

“Will Tom be there?” his words felt like venom, entering her bloodstream.

She placed her hand on her forehead, trying to indicate that she did not want to have this conversation or the inevitable fight, again.

“Of course he will be there, he is my co-star. You should get off the internet, it’s feeding you poison”, she said in an almost nonchalant way. Trying her best not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction to his name. His name, which did not mean anything to her. Tom was her colleague whom the internet liked to ship her with, but he was just a friend. Haz found it hard to believe this because the internet told him so. Their relationship was so far gone that he had no other way of knowing what was going on in her life. 

His wife was so far gone. She was as distant as the sun is from the moon. The distance left coldness between them. The kind of cold that you feel when you pass a stranger. She was a stranger to him and the only reason he could think of was that she and Tom were having an affair. This was not true, but the ache in his soul found comfort in painting Tom as the villain. 

“I don’t believe you”, Haz spat out.

She threw her heels inside the suitcase in anger. “What do you not believe? That Tom is my co-star? Is that what you don’t believe?” her voice was louder than before.

“I don’t trust him.” Haz matched her voice.

“Do you trust me?”

Trust? Her? How can I trust a stranger?

It was his turn to ignore her.

She zipped her bag, put on her shoes, and left the room. “Fuck you”, she cried before slamming their apartment door and leaving for London.

--

Y/N had first met Tom at a cast and crew dinner in New York, six months ago. Greta, the director, had invited both her and Haz but he had decided to opt-out of the ‘fancy’ dinner. Y/N was excited to meet her new co-stars and mark the starting of a new project, a new phase in her life.

It was cold in New York, she figured she shouldn’t wear a dress. She put on black stockings underneath blue bell-bottoms to keep her warm. She wore a dark grey American Eagles t-shirt and over that, a tan leather trench coat. She liked commuting via subway because she believed ‘nobody gives two shits about who is sitting next to them on the train’; and a town car was much slower, especially when it had been snowing. She stuffed her heels in her purse and wore her commuting shoes.

Tribeca to West Village was a good ten minutes train. Her travel was mostly uninterrupted except for the catcalls which felt like the usual to a native. Just before ringing Greta’s doorbell, she got out of her Converse and wore her heels.

Y/N entered a packed house. Almost everyone was there and she was late. But someone was to arrive even later than her. She examined the room, everyone was mingling with each other. She didn’t know anybody there except Noah Baumbach from the time she auditioned for ‘marriage story’. She didn’t get the part but still loved the movie. She realized Tom was missing.  

Greta pulled her into a conversation about when the production of the movie would start or something like that. She wasn’t really paying attention. She was so eager to meet Tom that her eyes couldn’t stop roaming around the room, trying to find him, and just when she thought he wouldn’t show up, he did. 

Everybody’s head turned towards him when he entered the living room. It was as if every person in the room wanted him, including her. His dark brown hair, falling into place like a domino, had snowflakes in them.

“Excuse me”, Greta gave a small smile to Y/N and walked over to Tom. She greeted him and politely touched his back. “Now that everyone is here we should take the party to the dining hall”, she said in a loud and cheerful tone.

Following Greta, everyone started moving towards the dining hall. Tom sat right across Y/N on the grand dining table. “Hi, I’m Tom”, he introduced himself in his thick British accent. “And he’s English”, Y/N said, adding to her list of things she found captivating about Tom.  

“And?” Tom gave her a confused look.

Shit. I said it out loud.

“I-I mean hi, I’m Y/N”, she tried to cover up her mistake.

His dark brown eyes on her, made her thoughts run wild. It was wrong enough to feel right. The dinner was served and small groups of conversations were taking place. Somehow the whole table took on the topic of bisexuality. Y/N felt obligated to take part in the conversation, being part of the community herself. 

“I think bisexuality is a gateway to being gay”, Tom said to the whole table.

“You’re being bi-phobic, Tom”, Y/N called him out. All eyes were on her now.

“And how do you know that?” Tom asked Y/N.

“Because I am bisexual, and any decent human being would know that”

“Are you calling me indecent?”

“No, I’m calling you bi-phobic”

“But aren’t you married to a guy?”

“That doesn’t change my sexual orientation, and you’re being bi-phobic. Again.” There was silence, everyone was listening carefully. 

“Okay, so please explain to me how I’m being bi-phobic?”

“Just the fact that you believe bisexuality is a gateway to being gay and me being married to a guy, means my bisexual card has been revoked, portray your biphobia”

“I am a little confused”, Tom said while reaching for his wine glass. 

“Someone who is bisexual is attracted to both men as well as women. It isn’t a gateway to being gay, it is a legit sexuality of its own”, 

“Hmm, I suppose I stand corrected. I’m sorry if I offended you or anyone. I will go home, do the research and try to be more open-minded”, said Tom, smiling.

“Good”, Y/N said, feeling accomplished and impressed by Tom’s ability to accept his mistake.

Haz would have never accepted that he was wrong.

Y/N felt wonderstruck. Blushing all the way home. She hoped Tom knew how enchanting it was for her to meet him. She wondered if someone was waiting for him at home, like someone was waiting for her. She wasn’t quite sure whether Haz was waiting for her to reach home or not.

She reached home to an empty bed. Not knowing what to make of it, she got ready to sleep. 2 AM and Haz was still not home. She didn’t try to reach him because she knew all phone calls would go straight to voice message and all messages would go unreplied. She closed her eyes, feeling indifferent towards Haz. Even in her sleep, her mind echoed Tom’s name. She was unaware of the treacherous road ahead of her. And that gave her comfort. His thought gave her comfort.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling

Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: bullying mention, blood mention

a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm

prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling

peter and you were playful kids

you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him

but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more

peter was a genius, we all know it

he was the one helping you with your homework most nights

“peter i cant do it!”

“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”

“can i say a cuss word?”

“sure”

“math is shit”

you would cry during homework a lot

you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours

and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed

peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo

you’d play action figures together

he was batman, you were robin always

“can i be batman?”

“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”

“but i wanna be batman!”

peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard

and he’d pick you up on his way home

on half-days your brother taught you how to skate

you fell a lot

aunt may had to patch you up

“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”

peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him

you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!

being his photography assistant

really you were his assistant constantly

science fair was the most boring day of the year

“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”

*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*

you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead

it made you very mad but it was scary, too

“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”

“oh, you know, just happened”

“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”

“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”

lonely when he moved onto high school :/

but you got there soon enough

you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer

just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama

“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”

“uhh, a coke?”

you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt

you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes

“what the hell, parker?!”

“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”

peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed

trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you

sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)

*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”

“which one of them is it this time?”

the principal’s office was a trip sometimes

you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded

“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”

“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”

no you fuckin dont lmaoooo

it was always something with you two

like always

*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”

*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”

“is that my jacket?” -peter

“you mean my jacket?”

“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”

“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”

and then there was just the little annoying things

“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”

*clicks pen faster*

“you’re the worst”

and my personal favorite

“peter, open the door”

“why?”

“emergency”

*opens bedroom door* “what?”

“aunt may is making meatloaf”

“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”

peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say

soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them

he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp

“YOU SNUCK IN??”

“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”

soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen

“peter??”

“yeah? whats up?”

“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”

“it happened to you, too??”

“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”

yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house

it was an adjustment to say the least

and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset

you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt

maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words

peter was covered in his blood still

“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”

when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room

then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out

peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers

sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you

“we match?”

*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”

ah yes, spider-team

you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter

peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you

you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out

“uh—peter punched me”

“y/n???!!!”

“I PANICKED”

just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky

seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst

peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes

“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”

“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”

he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES

yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this

but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him

“thats my brotherrrr!!!”

cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)

you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off

he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time

seeing harry osborn again after YEARS

“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”

“aww, it’s good to see you, too”

electrooooo

this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock

you and peter weren’t equipped for that

it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that

and several other problems

including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own

*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”

*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”

you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad

“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”

*thumbs up to show youre still alive*

but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen

he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried

“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”

she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed

“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”

he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this

the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time

he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while

“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”

“love you too”

you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up

“im coming with you”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, im sure”

(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[mixelation]

y'aaaaall when people say "before you engage with online discourse, make sure it's real" they mean shit like this (under a cut for reasons of "i am going off about a post on someone else's blog"):

this post was on my dash this morning (content warning for OP of the insta post being a deeply conservative anti-vaxxer - don't bother the tumblr user who reposted it about the insta post). every single note i've seen (and i scrolled pretty far but not through the whole thing) is engaging with it as if this is a real email. every note is engaging with OP as if this clearly fake email is a real thing that happened to her. the result is that OP has set up a debate where the two sides are "we should be able to deny healthcare to people we dislike" and "agree with an antivaxxer anti-mask social media conservative who spends all her time trying to make healthcare worse"

(i don't have insta but here's OP's tweet about it. again, most of the replies are acting as if this email is legit)

how do I know the email is fake? well, first of all, why is this exhausted covid testing site team screening the people who register for tests to this degree? do you expect me to believe ppl working at covid testing sites have the time to check the social media of their patients? you expect me to believe they actually give a fuck enough to see if you're a an anti-vaxx twitter whackjob or not? or do you expect me to believe someone saw this D-list celebrity's name and recognzied it? how do they know this is the minor celebrity candace owens and not some rando who happens to have the same name? why are they bothering to EXPLAIN why the appointment has been canceled, which according to this email they are doing for illegal and deeply unethical reasons that could easily get them sued, instead of just doing what anyone who's ACTUALLY trying to discriminate against you does, and not give any real reason at all (i.e., "we are unable to serve you at this time")?

why does this email not look like any communication you've gotten from a medical team, ever? usually you'd write "this is regarding your appointment with X on Y date at Z location." usually the employee would sign their full name and have a full signature. why has this "employee" gone out of their way to explain how other testing options are basically inviable? are you trying to tell me there's not another CVS in (checks OP's location) New York State?

why didn't OP reveal the company's name, if she has proof she's actually been discriminated against? is it because this DIDN'T HAPPEN and there's NO PROOF beyond her fake email?

don't engage with bullshit like this. OP made up this story to upset you and prop up her anti-vaxx anti-mask anti-health care agenda.

[nopeferatu]

Arthur and Belarus 🧘

Arthur

favorite thing about them:

the fact that hes a little bitch LOL i love weirdo tsundere gremlinesque characters like him so freaking much

least favorite thing about them:

i dont actually know if i have a least favorite thing abt him?? he has flaws but i like him for those too. i guess i can say one of the most compelling flaws abt him that makes me sad for him is this idea that he wants love and affection but he doesn't know how to go about asking for that, so he pushes people away and keeps them at a distance first before they have the chance to reject him

favorite line:

"am i catholic or protestant? god i dont know" that'll always be gold

brotp:

Platonic FrUk is probably my all time fave bro pair

otp:

Take a wild guess

random headcanon:

he can dance REALLY really well, and he can learn new dances really quickly too

unpopular opinion:

let the man be soft for christs sake and dont moralize making him this rugged, hard person for like. woke points lol if you dont care for when ppl portray him as softer or in tune w feminine interests, you can just. say so and avoid that content, but to act as tho its "bimbofication" or something and then accuse the ppl who do make him softer or more feminine of being "fetishistic of irl gay men" ? or something? is really out there

(also to be clear here, im not talking abt anyone ive interacted w personally. ive just seenx at a distance, certain spheres of fans/shippers who have said specifically that portraying characters like england or poland as more feminine or softer or whatever is akin to fetishizing real gay men and i am so very tired of that narrative bc as it is feminine men have been demonized thru history, even amongst other lgbts, and while i think there are certain portrayals that i have contention w i dont think its a good thing to immediately write off ppl who have femme/feminine/"soft" hcs for characters as being fetishistic)

song i associate w them:

i have a whole playlist dedicated to him tbh fhduhd BUT the one song that I've been thinking listening on repeat lately while thinking abt him singing this to Alfred is For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore

two other faves include Englishman in New York by Sting

and From Eden by Hozier, which is another song that I like to imagine him singing to Alfred

favorite picture of them:

Belarus

favorite thing about them:

shes a certified Weird Girl™️ and proud fhfyr like i just love her sm. moody goth woman can step on me

least favorite thing about them:

i dont care for the rly exaggerated canon murderousness of her. in fanon i tone it down and just like to make her a moody bitch w issues lol

favorite line:

i dont think i have one :( sorry

brotp:

hrm....hrm. Her and Russia I think? I think theyve got each others backs always no matter how reluctant or willing either parties are to admit that.

otp:

I fucking love t4t AmeBela. Usually I hc Alfred as gay tbh but MMGMH theres something so fucking good abt eager, young and inexperienced w love Alfred being so puppy dog smitten by the tall sexy Belarussian goth woman, and she just looks at him like hes a pesky fly that keeps following her around 😭 its SO GOOD.

random headcanon:

i think shes super tall and extremely elegant in her movements

unpopular opinion:

she's my beautiful wild trans wife ;)

song i associate with them:

i dont really have one but probably another molchat doma song tbh bc theyre a goth band and theyre actually from belarus

favorite picture of them:

LITERAL WIFE

[noricore]

did NORI DAVIES chase one of seven sins seven miles down the coast? originally from BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, the TWENTY-FIVE YEAR OLD CIS-MALE is a TATTOO ARTIST AT SALT & INK and has lived in the key for TWO YEARS. HE is suppose to call MIDTOWN home, but there is always temptation lurking between the streets and the ocean that keeps HIM from heading back. sinners and saints take many forms, but they look like BOOBOO STEWART and on their way to make decisions, good and bad, they always seem to sway to the beat of PRISONER BY MILEY CYRUS. (blue, she/they, 20, cst)

hi besties ! i’m blue this is my baby nori, if you would like to know more abt him click the read more !

i’m terrible at writing intros/bios so pls bare w/ me kdhkhg

born to parents in the art field (his mom is a painter and his dad is a museum archivist) so he grew up in a very carefree chill home. 

his parents were very unconventional sometimes they would take him and his younger sibling out of school for a week to go to some random state for an art show and he loved every minute of it!

growing up in such an artsy home of course made him fell in love with it. he started drawing at age 10 and hasn’t stopped. he draws on literally every and anything he can

the older he got the more free spirited and reckless he became, nori was always graffitiing buildings, skating off of dangerous cliffs, etc you know usual dumb teenager shit. his parents were afraid he was going off in the deep end so starting that summer he was sent off to his grandparents keywest and they put him to work on their boats.

this is where he discovered he was bisexual and had his first love. to nori it was honestly just fun for the summer and after he turned 18 and didn’t have to go anymore he cut ties with them! (wc wink wink)

once nori hit 18 he turned down the reckless behavior a bit but he was still very much a wild card. during this time he decided he wanted to be a tattoo artist he devoted his life to that! most of his tattoos he either drew himself/tatt’d them on himself

he just recently move to key west two years ago but i know hes already stirred up some type of trouble

misc info !

always has a smile on his face! he never lets shit get to him cuz hes trying to live life to the fullest

gets bored of ppl rlly easily its one of his toxic traits unfortunately

is a walking chaotic bisexual trope

very friendly ! he loves to make friends wherever he goes. he def makes everyone friendship bracelets and leaves candy for them whenever he sees them

more will be added as i develop him !!

if you’d like to plot pls like this <3

[pink-imagines]

spice it up

request: Ok this is something that’s been on my mind for a couple of days now, and it’s SUPER CHEESY but plz bear with me haha. I’ve been watching a lot of ANTM and it inspired me to think about an au where Bakugo is a pro-hero and Y/N is a upcoming top model visiting Japan to walk and display a new line of lingerie based off of Pro-Hero’s costumes (kinda like for a Victoria’s Secret fashion show) She’s chosen to wear the Ground Zero lingerie and she gets permission to shadow Bakugo for a day or two to get a read on his personality so she can base her walk off of him. Thing is, off the catwalk, Y/N’s personality is free-spirited, laidback and even a little shy, so when Bakugo meets her he’s like “why the fuck would they choose an extra like her to be me?” but little does he know on the catwalk her personality does a complete 180 and is outrageously fierce and confident. Pro-hero’s got a free invitation to the fashion show so with some convincing from his friends (and maybe because he was curious to see how the hell she was going to pull this off) he goes to the show and his reaction to when she steps on the catwalk… Lol I want to leave it up to you. Wow that was wayyy longer then I expected it to be. I’m sorry to spam you like that 😂 I feel like ppl are either going to love or hate this idea so if you don’t want to write it I honestly don’t blame you haha. Either way I love your posts! You’re writing style is very fun to read!

a/n: hellooo! hope you’re doing well! sorry for the late update, but i hope that this is an alright imagine!

warnings: description of lingerie(??)

masterlist

You were exhausted. The airport had always been a stressful place, but now you were jetlagged aswell. Flying to Japan wasn’t an easy task, but it was worth it. You carefully pushed the sunglasses you were wearing up the bridge of your nose. It was a weak disguise, but you really couldn’t care less.

“The car’s waiting outside. Let’s hurry up.”, your manager spoke fast. You grabbed your bag and followed after her. The paparazzi were flooding the exit, luckily they had put up fences. This was one of the reasons you had to look atleast a little bit dressed up on airports. Which was the most uncomfortable thing ever, but you just had to live with it. By “dressed up” they usually just meant “don’t wear sweatpants”. So you could still wear your comfy pair of jeans and a nice sweater or something of the sort.

“How do you feel after travelling so much? From New York, to London, to Paris and now here in Tokyo. How do you cope?” The same questions were popping up everywhere, but you didn’t stop for any of them. The only time you did stop was when you saw a few fans getting strangled against the fence. You hurried towards them, got their things signed and made sure they got back to safety.

“Let’s go, Y/N.”, your manager warned.

“Coming!”, you sighed and kept walking.

The next day you were driven to the place where you’d be messured for the lingerie.

“Y/N? Over here, honey!”, the designer said. He got you into a chair as soon as you arrived.

“What do you have for me today, Ray?”, you smiled kindly.

“So, heroes are a big thing. So we’ve made a line of hero-inspired lingerie, we think it’ll be a hit.”, he said with a big grin and showed you the sketches, “We’ll get them ready as soon as possible, but we need to match the right hero to the right model.”

“Alright, I trust your judgement.”, you looked through the sketches, “Give it to me, Ray.”

“Okay, okay. Since you’re the most charesmatic of the girls, we want you take care of the hothead.”, he pointed at one of the sketches, “Ground Zero.” You looked at the sketch. The top was some sort of dulled down orange color, in a lacy material. That wasn’t that bad, it was the usual, but there was a leather harness on top of it... a leather harness that connected to a leather choker. The bottoms were high-waisted and in the same lace material but black. But that wasn’t it. There was a pair of leather, knee-high, boots along with it.

“It’s... extreme.”, you sighed, “But, sure... I’ll do it.”

“Oh, thank you, Y/N. You’re a life saver, no model in Japan wanted to take the roll.”, he chuckled, “Here I’ll show you what we thought we should do for the face.” He showed you a face with cat-eye eyeliner, a simple nude lip and some sort of explosion looking thing behind the ears. You guessed that was a part of Ground Zero’s hero costume.

“Looks great, Ray.”, you smiled.

“Go get yourself meassured, your manager is booking you a meeting with Ground Zero so that you can study his personality.”, he said calmly and started to walk away.

How had you gotten yourself in this mess? To be honest, you didn’t know anymore. Everything happened so fast and now suddenly you were in the lobby of a hero agency, waiting for Ground Zero to go on his lunch break.

“Y/N Y/L/N?”, a rough voice asked behind you. You turned around to see a pair of crimson eyes staring into your soul. His hair was messy and he was just wearing jeans, a hoodie and a leather jacket. You didn’t know why you thought he’d show up in his hero costume.

“I’m guessing you’re Ground Zero?”, you stretched out your hand.

“You can say Bakugo.”, he scoffed and ignored your stretched out hand. He instead put his hands in his pockets.

“Are you ready to go?”, you asked.

“Why else would I be here?”, he sighed and walked to the exit. This was gonna be an exhausting week.

Bakugo walked as if he had just proven a point, or like he had just won an argument. To say the least, there was only pure confidence flooding in his veins. You hated it, but you simply had to see this as a job. You weren’t in your body, you were only watching from the audience.

“Are you just gonna sit there looking at me? You’re not gonna talk?”, he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Fine then... um... what kind of music do you listen to?”, you asked innocently.

“Music?”, he bursted out into laughter, “That’s it? You really are just another extra!”

“Listen, man, you’re the one who wanted to talk. So talk.”, you kept your calm, you didn’t want to make a scene out in public.

“Eh- this place sucks, let’s go to my apartment. We can talk there.”, he shrugged and walked faster.

“Your apartment?”, you squeaked.

You were just supposed to follow him around for a while every day, but now you were in his apartment. This was only the first day! His apartment was nice though... it kind of had an oldschool aesthetic to it. Like he came straight out of a private school in England during the 1980′s.

“You asked what kind of music I’m into or something?”, he sighed and walked over to a record player after taking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket. You stopped for a second. Didn’t he just make fun of you for asking that? You watched as he flipped through a few records.

“Yeah, I did.”, you answered cautiosly and hung up your coat next to his jacket.

He effortlessly handled one of the vinyls and quickly put it on the record player... it started playing and-... was that The Beatles? Bakugo sat down on his couch as if it wasn’t extremely shocking for him to listen to this.

“You listen to The Beatles?”, you asked as Paul McCartney started signing the first verse of Yesterday.

“Who doesn’t?”, he sighed, “C’mon, sit down.” You sat down in one of the armchair’s and finished listening to the song.

“You don’t seem like you listen to this kind of music.”, you commented as the next song started playing.

“I don’t only listen to this, idiot.”, he snarked, “This was the first thing I found.”

“Whatever you say.”

A few days went by and you’d go through the same schedule. Wait for Bakugo to go out for his lunchbreak, walk around for a bit, go to his apartment and go home when he had to start his next shift. He started making you lunch, and he was a surprisingly good cook. 

For the last day he stopped you before you parted ways.

“Wait-... can I meet you at your hotel later tonight?”, he actually looked a little bit nervous for once.

“I mean, yeah... but why?”, you gave him an unsure smile.

“I’ll take you out for food, something spicy... unless you can’t handle that.”, he grinned, his confidence was suddenly back.

“You wanna bet?”, your laughed.

“Alright then, it’s a bet.”, he chuckled, “I’ll meet you around 7 in the lobby.”

“For sure. I’ll see you!”, you waved goodbye and so did he.

Just when you were about to sneak out to the lobby your manager walked past.

“Where are you going?”, she asked.

“I was just uh...”

“And why’s Ground Zero in the lobby? He’s starting a commotion! We don’t need that, we need you to rest for the show tomorrow!”, she sighed.

“Please, I just wanted to-”

“No, Y/N. You can’t go out tonight, you have a damn show tomorrow.”

“Well, please just tell Bak- I mean... Ground Zero that I can’t come... and that I’m sorry.”, you pleaded, “Please.”

“Fine...”, she agreed.

The next day you woke up early to go to the fitting, so that you could later that day go to the show. Since they had your measurments, it fit perfectly.

“Hey, Laura!”, you stopped your manager as she passed by your make up station.

“Yeah, what’s up? Need anything?”, she asked.

“No-... I was just wondering if you know if Ground Zero would be here tonight.”, you asked.

“I don’t know, honey.”, she sighed, “He hasn’t said anything about it.”

“Alright, thank you.”

You got a moment alone in your changing room before you were going backstage. There was a harch knock on the door, which prompted you to go over to it and open the door. 

“Is it time to come out n-”, you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw Bakugo in front of you.

“Hey.”, he said quietly.

“Hi.”, you responded, “How did you get back here?”

“It’s not that hard for a hero of my status.”, he grinned and puffed up his chest a bit.

“Okay, okay...”, you chuckled and wrapped the silk robe you had on tighter around you, “Well, I’m happy you made it.”

“Y/N! Showtime!”, you heard your manager shout.

“Coming!”, you answered.

“Good luck... on the show...”, he muttered.

“Thank you! I expect to see you in the crowd.”, you grinned and ran up to the backstage area.

-

Maybe he should’ve tried to see what she was wearing. He really hadn’t thought about it at all...

The show was in alphabetic order, so he’d have to sit there for a bit before she’d come out. He really didn’t care much for the other models and he might’ve fell asleep for a few minutes here and there... but that was the chair’s fault! It was too comfortable, it even had armrests! How could he not fall asleep? Just for a bit... 

“Ground Zero!”, they shouted, making him almost jump out of his seat. Eijiro, who sat beside him, let out a quiet chuckle.

“Shut up, man...”, he whispered before glueing his eyes to the runway. He didn’t even recognize her at first. Y/N was... different... and it wasn’t just the clothing... or more like the lack there of.

Her whole aura was different when she walked she was like a whole new person. She was fierce, confident, simply the embodiment of a goddess of war and destruction.  Katsuki’s eyes were glued to her, every curve and edge, and his mouth was slightly agape in shock. He didn’t even realize that people were taking pictures of him.

After the show Katsuki made his way backstage, where he met up with Y/N who was now wrapped up in her silk robe again.

“What did you think? Did you like it?”, she grinned.

“I-...”, he looked around at the people around him who were all watching, “It was alright.”

“Alright?”, you laughed, “Okay then, you diva, I’m gonna go get changed!” His gaze followed her form as she walked away from him to her changing room... until he noticed that people were staring at him.

“Oi! What are you looking at!?”

-

The next day you were already at the airport early in the morning, which was way to early since the plane didn’t leave for another hour. So you decided to look at the articles about last night.

You scrolled quickly through most of them until you saw a picture of a familiar face. It was Bakugo! Looking absolutely star struck as your figure strutted down the runway. A smile spread across your lips and you took a screenshot of the photo.

“Hey, do we have Ground Zero’s buisness email or something like that?”, you asked your manager.

“I can get it for you. Why do you need it?”, she quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Oh, I just wanted to thank him.”, you smiled sweetly, “Also, do you know the next time I’ll be working in Japan?”

“In a few months or so.”

“Perfect.” You couldn’t wait.

-

permanent taglist: @theoceanphoenixhasrisen | @raven-r0ses | @darkbeautyswife | @sondering-thoughts | @gowoneandonlyone | @bnhabadass | @queenblackcat | @jayetheanimefreek101 | @witchy-anna 

tagged for this fic: @bnha-violetnote​ | @succulent-momma​

[petersasteria]

Anger Issues - Harry Holland

Requested? Nope. I’ve been meaning to write this for so long and decided “fuck it” whether ppl will read it or not lmao what’s important is I finally release some decent content and I like it and that’s important.

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Words: 4,307

Masterlist 

* * * *

"Please wait here and the doctor will call you when it's your turn." the assistant tells you before leaving the waiting room. You look around and see two guys there. One of them had his hands in his pockets, his hood up, and his head nodding along to the music going through his earphones. In short, he looks like your average everyday mysterious emo guy from high school. The other guy looks the total opposite. He was like the guy everyone liked, but not exactly popular. He was on his phone, chuckling from time to time. He was wearing a blue sweater and some worn out jeans.

You sit across from them and the two guys look at you. You give them a tight-lipped smile. Emo guys rolled his eyes, but the guy next to him smiles back at you. It wasn't a fake smile either. It was a genuine smile.

'Seems like a nice guy.' you thought to yourself.

The less emo guy puts his phone in his pocket and starts up a conversation, "I've never seen you around here before and we're here every week. What-"

"Can you just shut the fuck up, Thomas? Why do you have to talk all the fucking time?? You're so fucking annoying. Maybe that's why your girlfriend left you for that other guy." emo guy snaps.

You and 'Thomas' look at him. While you were shocked at his mini outburst, 'Thomas' looked like he was used to it, though. "You don't have to speak like that whenever you're annoyed at someone, Harry." Thomas tells him in a soft and comforting voice.

"Wow. Look at you being a big brother for once!" Harry says sarcastically. "And the brother of the year award goes to...Thomas Stanley Holland! Give it up for him everybody!" He claps his hands. At this point, you and Thomas are beginning to feel uncomfortable. Especially you; you've never met these people before.

Thomas looks at you with a sorry expression, "I'm sorry about Harry. Anyway, I assume you heard my name already-"

"Of course she did. She has ears, dipshit." Harry mutters under his breath before taking his phone out of his pocket and scrolling through it.

"You can call me 'Tom'." Tom smiles, ignoring Harry. "What's your name?"

"Y/N." you tell him. Tom nods before looking at Harry then at you. He gets up from his seat and immediately sits next to you. You were a bit... scared. A stranger suddenly sits next to you after his brother shouts at him in anger isn't exactly an ideal way of meeting and getting to know someone.

Tom seems to notice your change of demeanor and chuckles, "I won't do anything, don't worry. It's just nice to see someone else in this place on a Saturday morning. It's usually just me and him and sometimes Sam, our brother, tags along too. But most of the time, just me and him."

You nod and feel yourself getting comfortable with Tom. "So, why are you alone? It's hard seeing a psychiatrist alone for the first time. I mean, it's not Harry's first time here, that's for sure. But if I were in your place, coming here with someone closest to me would make me feel less scared and nervous. Even if they don't go inside the room with you, it's nice to know that there's someone in the waiting room who's waiting for you and who's there for you every step of the way." Tom rambles.

"My parents dropped me off and then they said that they'll come back for me when I text them as soon as I finish here." you tell him truthfully.

"Well, they're shitty parents." Tom crosses his arms, "No offense."

"None taken." you chuckle. "They are shitty parents, though." Tom laughs and shakes his head.

The door opens and the current patient quickly in tears. The patient practically ran, not giving you a chance to see if it were a girl or boy. You look at the direction they came from and see the psychiatrist standing there. You look at the psychiatrist in fear.

You turn to Tom and whisper, "Why the fuck was that patient crying? Is this lady batshit crazy? Does she always make them cry??"

"Of course not." Tom whispers. "All I know about that last patient is that they're always here three times a week. I know, because I've asked before."

"Harry, you can come in now." the psychiatrist smiles at him. Harry rolls his eyes and stands up, getting his backpack (which needed to be washed) from the floor.

"You'll get through this today, Harry! I'm right here." Tom smiles at him, cheering him on as if Harry were to compete at something. Harry looks at him, gives him a fake smile, and the middle finger before entering the room, the 'click' of the door being closed was heard immediately after he went in.

"Now it's just you and me." Tom says. "What do you usually do here when you're alone waiting for Harry?" you ask curiously, obviously bored out of your mind.

"I just go on my phone. Sometimes I bring my homework and do it here. But since I don't have homework at the moment, I'm as free as a bird." Tom answers. "Speaking of phone, let's exchange numbers! It'll be so much fun having a new friend!"

Thomas Stanley Holland was too bubbly for your liking. But you exchanged numbers anyway. Even social media usernames.

After two hours of chatting with Tom, you come to realize that he's genuinely a nice and friendly guy. You really had fun talking to him. Harry emerges from the room with the same mysterious emo look on his face. "Let's go, Thomas."

"Hey champ! How was it?" Tom smiles.

"Are you fucking mocking me?" Harry asks, his temper slightly rising.

Judging by the little time you've known Harry, you've come to conclusion that he's in therapy for his anger issues. You notice that the little things seem to tick him off. The dude's a fucking time bomb.

"Harry, I was just asking nicely. I didn't mean to offend you. Please don't get mad at me." Tom says in that comforting and soft voice.

An outsider would think that they're complete strangers who are fighting, because at this point, it's hard to believe that they're siblings.

"I wouldn't have gotten mad if you just followed me when I said that we should go home. I wouldn't have gotten mad if you didn't open your fucking mouth." Harry said in sort of a Draco Malfoy tone.

Tom looks at you and quietly says, "I'll text you." He stands up and follows his brother on his way out.

"Y/N, it's your turn." the psychiatrist says.

"Welp, here goes nothing." you say to yourself before going in the room and closing the door.

"Hello Y/N. I'm Dr. Joanne Moore. But you can call me Joanne, so that it's less intimidating." Joanne smiles. "Please take a seat and make yourself comfortable."

Joanne motions for you to sit on the couch while she sits across from you on the spinning office chair everyone loves. You do as she says and you let yourself relax as your gaze wanders around the room. The room was neither small nor large and the only light source was the sun shining outside; its rays coming through the window.

"I understand that you're new here. Where are you from?" Joanne asks.

"New York." you reply. Joanne hums and nods, "Why did you move here?"

"My father is English and my mother is American. My mom told my dad that maybe it'd be best to move to a new environment. She's basically sick of New York. Around the time she said that, my dad got offered a new job here with a salary higher than what he was paid back home. Then, the rest is history." you respond. You've been repeating the same response to your neighbors and to everyone you meet, so you completely memorize it like the back of your hand. You can say shit in your sleep.

"I see. Welcome to London." Joanne smiles. You mutter a small 'thank you' before leaning back on the couch.

"Would you like to tell me why you're here?" Joanne asks.

"I thought you'd never ask." you lightly chuckle.

-

"Y/N, is that you?!" you hear a familiar voice from your left side. You turn your head and see Tom with a smile on his face, "Oh my god, it is you! I didn't know we had the same school. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Um, I didn't think it was necessary?" your answer came out more like a question.

"Of course, it's necessary. We're best friends now!" Tom grins. He looks behind him and says, "Guys, come here!" A group of guys walk in your direction with Harry following behind them.

"Guys, this is Y/N the girl from therapy." Tom introduces. "Y/N, this is the gang: Harrison, Sam, Jacob, and of course you know Harry."

"Hi everyone." you smile politely.

"Hey you don't have an accent too!" Jacob smiles. "I'm from Hawaii. What about you?"

"New York." you smile proudly. You were beginning to feel homesick and talking about New York would make you feel much better.

"That's so awesome! I've been there once. It was family vacation and I had so much fun there! Maybe there was a slight chance we bumped into each other while I was there or something." Jacob tells.

"Are we going to class or are we going to stand here all day while Jacob tells his New York escapade?" a voice from the back startles everyone even though they knew who it belonged to. The five of you look at Harry and mutter apologies to which Harry replied with "whatever" and rolling his eyes before leaving the group.

"My twin has left, lady and gentlemen." Sam says to all of you.

"Wait, he's your twin?" you ask in shock.

"Yup." Sam confirms. "Hard to take in, right?"

You nod in agreement. "Let's go to class. I don't want to be late on my first day." you chuckle nervously.

"You'll be fine! We'll probably have classes with you." Harrison says, calming your nerves a bit. "Good luck if you have a class with Harry, though. He's hard to work with. He kind of wants to do his own thing, but he helps even though he's like that."

Harrison's heads up about Harry made you not want to share a class with him.

Luck wasn't on your side, however. As soon as you enter your first class, which is history, the only empty seat was next to Harry. You take a deep breath before walking to the empty seat next to him.

"Oh great." Harry mumbles. Understanding his issues, you bite back a reply and just take in everything that's happening. Everyone is talking to each other except for you and Harry despite the fact that you know each other. To be fair, you aren't close with him. You're closer with Tom, so you didn't know what Harry liked to talk about.

Just then, the teacher arrives and everyone went to their proper seats. The teacher looked like she was in her mid 30s. She looked nice.

"Before we start, we have a new student from New York." she smiles at you. "Please, introduce yourself to everyone."

Harry turns to you and sees your shocked face. Upon seeing that, he chuckles and shakes his head, "Just get it over with." Hearing Harry being normal sounded so foreign to you, but you took his advice and went on to introduce yourself.

"You don't have to stay here in front. Just stand up and tell us about yourself." the teacher says.

"Okay, um, my name is Y/N Y/L/N and I'm from New York. I just moved here, like, a week ago. So yeah...that's it I guess." you awkwardly say and you sit down.

"Welcome Y/N! I hope you enjoy your stay. My name is Mrs. Smith and I'll be your history teacher." Mrs. Smith says. "Speaking of history, let's get started."

Mrs. Smith began to discuss for the rest of the time. Five minutes before the class ends, Mrs. Smith tells everyone that they'll have a project that'll be done in pairs. You didn't know anyone in class except for Harry and Harrison's warning is at the back of your head. So to say that you didn't know what to do would be an understatement.

"I already have a list of pairs and I'll dictate it." Mrs. Smith says.

'Thank god.' you mutter under your breath.

'Fucking hell.' Harry rolls his eyes.

"Y/N you'll be paired with Harry." Mrs. Smith smiles, before continuing. You look at Harry and he looks at you unimpressed.

"I don't usually allow anyone to work with me, but since you're new and you're practically best friends with my brother, I'll give you a chance. That's as far as I can go with being nice to someone." Harry tells you. You just nod, still kind of intimidated by him. "Also," he says again, "back the fuck off when we're out together. I don't like it when people invade my space." Harry fakes a smile and puts his stuff in his bag. You just stay quiet and do the same.

When Mrs. Smith dismisses the class, Harry immediately left. Of course, you followed. You didn't want to be alone in a room with people you didn't know. You'd much rather be stuck with Tom even though he talks too much and is too bubbly. You'd also prefer if you were stuck with Harry and even though he gets angry all the time and he hardly says anything to you, at least he's someone you know.

As soon as you leave the room, Tom and the rest were there to greet you. "Hey!!!" they all greet cheerfully.

"Oh my god what the fuck did I get myself into?" you ask yourself, putting on a smile for them nonetheless.

"Congrats! You survived your first class in your new school." Jacob says. "Are you ready to go through the rest of the day?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." you respond. It wasn't even at least half of the day and you were already tired. Tom and his friends seem to have a lot of energy and seeing them really energized makes you tired.

-

Saturday comes around again and you're back at therapy. You walk in the waiting room and see Harry there. Now, it's awkward. Like last week, you sit across from Harry and begin to mind your own business. 'He did say "back the fuck off", right?' you think to yourself.

"Tom has a dentist appointment in case you're wondering." Harry's voice startles you. You look up from your phone and see him already looking at you. "It's just me today. Sam is at his part time job and I don't want to bring my youngest brother, Paddy to this depressing place. I don't want him to end up mentally messed up. He doesn't deserve that."

How the fuck are you going to respond to that?

"Oh, I see." you says, still not sure what to reply. "Thanks for telling me, I guess."

"What'll you do after this?" Harry asks curiously.

"I'll probably just walk around or go sight seeing. My parents are on a business trip and all my siblings have their own lives now, because they're older than me." you tell him truthfully. He nods and says, "I have nothing going on at my place at the moment and I want to get away."

You shrug, "Go ahead, then. No one's stopping you."

Harry just stares at you and it's beginning to freak you out, because you don't know if he's going to burst or not. Finally, after almost a minute of silence and staring at each other Harry speaks up, "Do you have money on you?"

"Excuse me?"

Harry rolls his eyes, "Do you have cash right now? I have some stashed in my backpack right now."

"Um, is that even importa-"

"Just answer the fucking question, Becky." Harry says, clearly starting to get annoyed. "Yeah, I do. Why does it matter?" you gulp.

"Good." Harry says. "We'll talk later after your session. It's my turn now." As if on cue, the door opens and the patient from last week quickly runs past you and Harry. He stands up, grabs his backpack and enters the room.

To say you were confused was an understatement. Why was he suddenly talking to you? You decided to text Tom about it.

To: Tom

Hey man hope the dentist thing is going well for u. Harry just said the weirdest shit and idk what to say or feel. Send help xo

You didn't expect a reply, so you went on Instagram and just scrolled through it until it was your turn.

-

After your session, you were surprised to see Harry waiting for you. He looks up from his phone, takes out one of his earphones and asks, "Ready to go? I'm starving." You just nod and off you two went.

Both of you end up at a sandwich shop far from the building. You both eat in silence and it's beginning to feel awkward; for you at least. Harry seemed fine.

"Let's leave London." Harry says all of a sudden, making you choke on your sandwich. "Jesus, are you okay?" he asks with no concern, whatsoever. He's more worried about both of you causing a scene.

You finally calm down and nod, "Now I'm okay. Where are we going?"

Harry shrugs, "Anywhere we set our mind to. I haven't been outside of London for years. Maybe we could go somewhere to experience a new environment or whatever."

"...London is my new environment." you explain to him.

"I know, dipshit." Harry rolls his eyes, "but you wanted to go sight seeing, don't you?"

"Yeah, around London not outside London."

"What's wrong with going outside of London?!"

"Why're you pushing for us to go outside of London?!" you rebutt.

"BECAUSE I HATE THIS PLACE!!" Harry yells causing everyone in the shop to look at both of you. You flinch at his words and you didn't know what to say. Harry angrily stands up, kicks the chair, and leaves the shop. All of the customers and employees look at you with pity.

"Poor thing." one customer said.

"Wow, worst boyfriend of the year award goes to that guy." the other said.

You gather yours and Harry's belongings and run out of the shop, hoping you're not too late to catch Harry. After looking left and right, you see him standing not too far away and you approach him.

"Hey," you say softly, "you know what? Let's go outside London." You decided that maybe Harry hasn't been getting what he wanted that's why he's always angry, so you'll give him a chance. You also started using the same tactic as Tom: speaking softly which is quite difficult and tiring, but if Tom can do it, so can you.

Harry looks at you and nods. Without saying a word, he grabs his bag from you and walks to the train station. Not wanting to get lost on your second week in London, you rush to follow him before you lose him in the crowd.

-

"So where are we?" you ask Harry.

"Dorset." Harry responds. "It's probably my favorite place. I don't know why, but it calms me down. I usually go here alone, but I don't want to be alone at the moment." You nod, you understand the feeling.

You and Harry walk around and he shows you the different spots he likes to stay and relax at and somehow, both of you end up on top of a hill. The view was remarkable. It was different from your view in New York and different from your view in your room back in London. This view gave you peace and you're starting to understand why Harry likes it there so much.

You both sit on the grass and sit in silence. Taking in the smell of the sea while your hair was following in the direction the wind is blowing. "How long do you usually stay here?" you ask Harry almost in a whisper.

"Until it gets dark." Harry responds. "Sometimes I don't go home at all. Not like anyone would care anyway. It's boring back at home to the point where it doesn't feel like home anymore. Back in London I just live in a house with three brothers, a set of parents, and a dog named Tessa. Being with them doesn't feel like home."

You nod, "Is that why you go to therapy?" You knew it wasn't your business to ask, but he's starting open up to you about the things he's feeling.

"I think you already know why I go to therapy. I had an episode at the sandwich shop." Harry laughs bitterly. "Maybe the question should be asking me is how I ended up like this."

"I wasn't always like this, you know. Believe it or not, I was like Tom." Harry admits. You didn't say anything, though. You wanted to, but you figured he needed to let it all out.

"It happened two years ago. Kevin, my best friend, and I were walking home from school. We didn't know the bullies from school followed us, but when we noticed them it was too late. For some reason, I was an easy target. So they took my money and taunted me and all that shit. I was used to it, but Kevin had enough. He punched one of the bullies and soon, they were nearly killing each other. I tried to stop them, but two of them held me back while I watched how the 'leader' of the group punched the life out of Kevin. Maybe someone saw what was happening, because the police came. The 'leader' threw one last punch and pushed Kevin before running. The two guys who held me back pushed me forward and ran away too." Harry tells you, his voice becoming shaky.

"I immediately went to check on Kevin and panicked when I didn't feel a pulse. One of the policemen called an ambulance. Then we arrived at the hospital and he," Harry takes a deep breath, tears falling freely down his cheeks, "he was dead on arrival. I guess he got pushed really hard and his head collided on the concrete with so much force. Lethal damage."

"Ever since then, I never forgave myself. I could've done something; anything. But I was just there, watching as my best friend die right in front me." Harry sniffs. "I can't help, but blame myself. He intervened to save me. If I only knew that saving me would lead to his death, I wouldn't have let him. I would've just gave the bullies what they wanted so they can leave him alone. He was the only one who understood me and he knew my secrets."

"I lived with that guilt every day ever since that happened. I could never forgive myself. My family tried to help me move on, but I couldn't. Every time they helped, I pushed them away. Then I started to get irritated with everything they did, like, why can't they leave me the fuck alone?! My parents decided it would be best for me to go to therapy seeing as I won't let them help me. Tom went with me the first time, because I was irritated with him the most. He kept bugging me. And of course, up to this day he still accompanies me." Harry says, wiping his tears.

"So," Harry chuckles lightly, "that's my story. What's yours?"

You chuckle too, "There's nothing special about it, really. My parents just think that there's something wrong with me, but that's not true. At least I think it's not true." Harry just nods for you to continue.

"I'm the youngest in my family. I have three older siblings and they're all married now. My parents are obviously so happy. In fact, they're so happy that they forget about me...all the time. Every time we have this little family lunch or dinner, my parents always ask about how my siblings are doing and shit like that. I've tried, you know? I've tried to push myself to talk to them, but whenever I do, my parents dismiss me and they tell me they're busy or they tell me to shut up, because one of my siblings are talking and it'd be rude to interrupt. I got tired and I just didn't try anymore." you tell him.

"It sucks, man. I have no one to turn to when things get tough. I have no one to be excited for me whenever I have good news. I feel so alone. I only had three friends back in New York and to be honest with you, they weren't even near the level of becoming my best friends. Sure, we hung out and stuff, but I was always their last choice to hang out with. If everyone else is busy, they call me and my stupid ass would answer immediately. Thank god we moved here. New environment is good." you sigh. "I'm really glad I met you guys, though. Tom talks too much, but he's alright. I now have one best friend; how cool is that!"

Harry laughs lightly, "Well, now you have two."

You look at him and give him a small smile, "Are you sure? I'm no Kevin, but I'll try."

"I don't need a new Kevin. Just be you." Harry says, nudging you slightly. "It's nearly getting dark. Should we head back?"

"Sure." you smile. Both of you stood up and grabbed your things before leaving. From that moment on, something told you that you wouldn't be alone anymore and it felt great to finally have someone by your side.

* * * *

Feedback please?

Tagging my mutuals: @sweetdespairbarnes @myblueleatherbag @fanficparker @tommysparker @lcvelyparkers + @justasmisunderstoodasloki (bc this person is nice to me sksks)

Want to contact me? 

[enthusiasticmusicalquotes]

QUESTION OF THE DAY #12: What is your opinion on theatre bootlegs? Spill as much or as little tea as you want.

MY ANSWER: it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to say there’s nothing good about them. i discovered a couple of my all time favorite shows through bootlegs, and when i was a high school/college-aged theatre nerd stuck in the midwest (which i still am, just a bit older now), they brought me a lot of comfort that i could relive my favorite shows again. that said, i can understand POVs re: they weren’t filmed with consent from the actors. however, actors who are speaking out against them need to realize that mainstream theatre needs to be made more accessible in one way or another for poor, disabled, and international theatre fans. tldr: bootlegs aren’t going to go away if celebrities disavow them, but theatre might be able to become more accessible if more of them talk on THAT instead of how evil bootlegs are.

SUMMARY OF ANSWERS: out of 41 responses: 21 were an enthusiastic heck yeah, 13 weren’t as enthusiastic but still along the lines of yeah i support them, 3 answers were like eh i can see both sides i guess/leaning towards no, and 4 people outright said nah bootlegs are not the answer. All the answers under the cut!

if you wanna fight or agree with anyone, refer to the # and send in an ask or reply to this.  

also: while i agree with much of what was said under the cut, i will not come out and say which ones i agree with and what i don’t. my opinion is above and that’s all you need to know about what i think. i do not necessarily condone or agree with anything below. okay, enjoy reading.

1. Anonymous said: I may not be the biggest fan, but I totally get why they exist and have watched a few when they pop up

2.  Anonymous said: for the qotd: bootlegs are godsends

3. Anonymous said: oh god i literally just went on a tangent on twitter just now but bootlegs good!!!! people willingly watch blurry footage of a show bcs they want to know what the show is like, want to experience it live. bway shows arent accessable for everyone (due to prices and distance) but ppl still want to know what its like performed on stage. bootlegs literally dont harm the community. ive seen poto boots, proshots and the tour yet id willingly pay 2 watch again. boots make theatre more accessable imo !!

4. Anonymous said: Boots are good to get a glimpse of different productions? Like even despite Proshots existing of certain musicals, I'd still be curious regarding other interpretations of it! And also besides this it definitely helps make shows accessable to people who physically cannot watch the show!

5. galactic-greens said: I truly see no harm in bootlegs as long as they are treated respectfully. While the creation and consumption is technically a crime, it by no means whatsoever makes you a bad person. It's essentially documenting theatre, and ensuring generations to come will be able to experience what could have been so fleeting. They maintain a community, and as long as NFT dates, masters, and general spread of bootlegs are respected then there really can be no problem. It's just a way to immortalize the art!

6. Anonymous said: On bootlegs: oftentimes they’re the only way someone could be able to see a show, because not everyone can afford the tickets or even the cost to just go to New York for a show. However, it should be acknowledged that filming obviously in the actors’ faces is pretty rude, but at the same time bootlegs at least give a chance for people like me to see shows I might never get to see otherwise.

7. Anonymous said: I love bootlegs because I don’t have the means to be able to travel to see shows or afford tickets, i also do theater and i feel like the point of the art is to share it as much as I can

8. Anonymous said: i've never seen a large-scale live show bc they are not accessible to me. bootlegs are amazing. truly glorious.

9.  Anonymous said: i understand that this is a rather unique experience, but i live in nyc, so bootlegs never measure up to the real thing for me. i know that this isn't something everyone can be lucky enough to say, but live theatre could never be captured in the form of a bootleg-- i don't even like released proshots as much as the real thing

10. Anonymous said: for me bootlegs are fine for those who can't see it live because of the price and they are living from another country though i know there are a lot of actors disagrees about it

11. Anonymous said: as someone who can't afford to go to a professional production of anything, absolutely gimme a bootleg. obviously I wouold prefer, like, a proshot of a show and I really hope that becomes more of the norm (I watched the Newsies proshot on Disney+ and had the happy wiggles for hours afterwards, and I can't wait for the Hamilton one to come out) but until that starts happening I'll take a bootleg any day.

12. Anonymous said: I like that it helps people get into fandoms/musicals that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise but I would prefer if theatres professionally films them.

13. maycombhoney said: they will be a part of theatre culture until live theatre is made accessible for more people

14. Anonymous said: bootlegs are great and until the theater community decides to produce pro-shots i’m all for them

15. zoueriemandzijnopmars said: I would personally feel kinda bad for watching bootlegs, because it won’t directly bring money to the people who worked on the show. I don’t judge people who do watch bootlegs though, because let’s face it, bootlegs are not a replacement for actually going to the theatre and it’s not gonna lose the creators actually money. It might even make them money, because people will listen to the album/buy tickets anyway when they can. I’d just personally be more comfortable watching a proshot

16. Anonymous said: I don't pretend bootlegs aren't stealing but whatever harm they do is abstract enough - and my decisions are drop-in-the-bucket enough - that I do it anyway

17. Anonymous said: I’m totally fine with bootlegs. I’ve watched so many of them that it wouldn’t be fair if I wasn’t. The fact is most people just aren’t able to see shows. Either they live too far away or they can’t afford it, and if this is the only way someone can experience a show, it’s better than never seeing it at all

18. Anonymous said: i think bootlegs are important for accessibility but i really wish more theatres would release proshots. i wouldn't even mind if it were after the broadway run or after the original cast is switched out, but i think it's valuable to have those recordings out during the run of the show to get more people interested and actually wanting to go out and see it. plus, if they're worried about money, they wouldn't *have* to be free. just cheaper than tickets and travel.

19. Anonymous said: about the question of the day, honestly i think bootlegs are fine as long as they're done respectfully and the filmers aren't distracting with it

20. locke-writes said: For the question of the day: If there’s absolutely no way I can see the show live or from a professional recording then I’m going to watch a bootleg. Theater should be more accessible and sometimes a bootleg is my only way to access a show. Having been part of film crews who have shot live theater I think a lot of the lack of pro recordings is the idea which that theater is difficult to record. It isn’t. Give me a pro shot show over a bootleg anyday but I’ll take what I can get

21. Anonymous said: My opinion on bootlegs is I prefer professional recordings ONLY because bootleg quality is terrible for my auditory processing problems and I hate the washed out quality. But since professional recordings are rare (unless you are, interestingly enough, Sight & Sound Theatre); for everyone else: BRING ON THE BOOTLEG! ~ Stripe Conlon

22. Anonymous said: Bootlegs are complicated! As a fan/consumer I think they’re okay, especially considering how inaccessible theatre is for people living in other countries, people who can’t afford to experience shows live, and disabled folks. But as someone who also performs, i understand that it can be distracting and legally complicated for actors who are trying to do their best and did not consent to being filmed that night. I just hope that pro shots will become more common.

23. penguinated said: Bootlegs are fine. They don't cost Broadway a thing since people will literally never not pay to see live shows (except during covid of course). and for many people, seeing a certain show with a certain cast will NEVER be possible, so what's the harm in watching the bootleg? The bootlegs aren't the problem, it's the inaccessibility of live theater, ESPECIALLY Broadway shows. If more things were available to stream (i.e. BroadwayHD) there wouldn't be a need for bootlegs. Bootleg away, imo.

24. Anonymous said: until theatre is made accessible to everyone and there is a proshot released for every show, bootlegs are absolutely necessary for the prosperity of theatre

25. Anonymous said: It's so sad that people think bootlegs are necessary! and it's even sadder that in a way they are. however, too many people use them as an excuse to not pursue alternate affordable alternatives for theatre (such as broadway hd, pursuing local shows including high school and college theatre, and utilizing legally free shows online). In addition, bootlegs absolutely CAN be unethically sourced- recordings of locally produced shows can get theaters in trouble and bankrupt them with legal fees. and if you're recording something from Broadway (which is fine imo usually), if you're actually making people PAY for your illegal recording, that's profiting off the work of others and is both very unethical and exploiting the very people many bootleggers claim to work for the benefit of. When it comes to bootlegs, it's one thing to pass around shows that have finished their runs on Broadway for free- but there's too much unethical and even HARMFUL bootleg behavior and it needs to stop.

26. Anonymous said: since Broadway is too rich and doesn't wanna spend money(for some reason) streaming their shows, then bootlegs are the only option.

27. Anonymous said: Theater is so inaccessible that bootlegs are necessary for a lot of people because with a lot of shows you can’t get a good idea of the show just from the soundtrack but people that share nft boots are assholes

28. Anonymous said: Bootlegs do more good than harm. Those against bootlegs are elitist and don't understand some people cant afford hundreds of dollars in theatre and plane tickets. Bootlegs make people crave the live experience more, a dark and shaky video with shit audio doesn't satiate the desire to see a show live. And if the show is closed all the more reason to watch a bootleg!

29. lynntjeeee said: Theatre bootlegs are amazing and are why there are fans. I live in a country with no musical theater (except the occasional sucky original production with a local celeb who can't sing) so if it not for bootlegs I wouldn't be able to watch any shows and wouldn't be a fan (thus not spending money on cast recordings, etc). People need to realise this, bootlegs do not harm the theater, in fact it only helps it. If there were official recordings, there would be many more fans (and thus more profit!)

30. Anonymous said: Opinion on bootlegs: They wouldn't be necessary if the theater industry would get with the times and release professional shots of their shows on streaming services/cable.

31. Anonymous said: I think that people are really overreacting about bootlegs. ESPECIALLY bootlegs if shows that have already closed- you may never get a chance to see that show! Ever! Now there’s an affordable and accessible way to see shows that people would kill and die for. It isn’t losing Broadway money, in fact it is bringing more people into the medium. Maybe if full proshots were more common I would feel differently, but since there is literally no other way, boots are fine.

32. Anonymous said: Bootleg opinion: just go absolutely hog wild. Fuck it. Be gay do crime.

33. Anonymous said: Bootlegs are one of the few things that are keeping me sane right now, plus the fact that not everyone has dat cash money to see the shows live, so yeah they're good stuff (as long as they are available online w/ at least vaguely good sound quality anyway 😆)

34. Anonymous said: I see it both ways. I can understand why those in the profession are against it; it’s their hard work that’s getting pirated. But I’m also poor. I have no access to theatre outside of cast albums and bootlegs. I don’t watch bootlegs because I personally feel guilty, but I will not and do not judge others if they do.

35. whatdoscissorsdo said: I think broadway bootlegs r okay?? eat the rich amirite

36. Anonymous said: I trade and watch bootlegs and don't plan on stopping, but I've recently realized that it must be super uncomfortable for actors to be filmed without their knowledge or consent, or just to have to have on their minds that they might be being recorded at any time in a performance. Like, I've happily watched Many™ Spring Awakening videos in the past year, but I doubt Alexandra Socha is that thrilled knowing there are videos up on YouTube of featuring her nude at age nineteen.

37. i-am-having-an-emotion said: they will remain a necessary evil until theater is more accessible to the masses. seeing real live theater is always better than a boot but literally like 95% of people can’t access live theater, especially at a broadway caliber, so like..... do The Poors not *deserve* theater??? what are we supposed to do BUT make bootlegs?

38. ope-okay said: bootlegs are blessings from heaven and no one can convince me otherwise

39. Anonymous said: I think it can really hype up the want for the musical. And a really good boot release can bring new creations to an otherwise small fandom. Personally I’m more interested in seeing the musicals I’ve seen boots of than the musicals I haven’t

40. Anonymous said: On the topic of bootlegs, I think they’re great but like especially for people who do not have the means to go see the shows during their runs, I feel like if you do have the means to go see the show you should do that instead

41. Anonymous said: I have a REALLY hard time with bootlegs. Because artists deserve to be paid for their work, and there are a whole host of copywriter issues that come with the mass production of a show. In addition though, I understand the anger you feel at not getting to see a show live, however there are so many resources available to help people get the idea of their favorite show even if they never see it. Honestly Wikipedia is my favorite resource, as often that has a full synopsis of the show. I’ll read that and then listen to the recording a bunch so I can understand the story and imagine what it may look like. A lot of shows put clips on YouTube, the Macy’s parade, the Tony Awards, NBC does a whole broadway week, there are so many ways that you can get glimpses into these shows without resorting to bootlegs (which at this point are still illegal) I’m not a supporter of the “theater must be seen live” idea. While I LOVE live theater (and as a performer I like feeding off an audience) but I’ve see shows with just proshots or just the movie version and they are still just as good. Unfortunately I think the only way we’re are going to make theater more accessible to audiences is through time. Bootlegs I think only make people less inclined to record shows and mass produce them. There are a whole lot of legal things that go into that as well. What I can say is what I’ve done. Read up on the show, watch all the clips you can, sometimes scripts are posted online maybe read those, listen to the album, look at pictures. It SUCKS that theater is exclusive, but bootlegs are not the solution.

let me repeat: if you wanna fight or agree with anyone, refer to the # and send in an ask or reply to this post.

[yeocult]

Hii~ ursa minor, corvus, orion, gemini, betelgeuse, deneb, spica, proxima centauri, mimosa, star cluster, moon, comet, delta iv heavy, heavy falcon, soyuz, RCS, RD-270, raptor? (so sorry it's a lot of questions 😅)

*cracks knuckles* it’s time to get ready to overshare !! thank you for sending so much in!! it was fun hehe

ursa minor: do you have hobbies or interests that no one knows about?

hmm sports, writing, and editing? i enjoy watching sports matches and being nerdy about analyzing the players and game lol, mostly basketball and volleyball! i hate playing sports though lol. writing and editing are just for fun! (irl ppl don’t know much so i guess it’s a secret). i’d like to pursue editing to something more serious though!

corvus: what are 5 things you appreciate about yourself?

1. neatness and i’m organized! / 2. i only surround myself with good people, if there’s something off about a person i immediately cut them off (idk if this is me running away from everything bad or that i respect myself lol) / 3. how easily inspired i am / 4. chill? (is that the right word?) sometimes i just can’t bring myself to care that much abt certain things lol / 5. fashion sense i think

orion: what element would you like to be able to bend?

i convinced myself i was a waterbender when i was younger lmao but i’d like to bend fire! no reasons, i just think it’s cool hehe

gemini: which character (fictional or not) is your spirit animal?

shizuku from whisper of the heart and ursula from kiki’s delivery service...they are just so comforting!! having a lil studio in the forest is such a dream!

betelgeuse: which video games gives you nostalgia for a place you have never been to?

ah i don’t play any video games :-(

deneb: you can turn one book into a movie,tv show or video game. which one are you picking?

omg this is a hard one! i’ll probably think about this more but rn i’m completely stuck >///<

spica: when do you consider a movie “good”?

no plotholes, it’s consistent, and not so cliche. the texture, not bland, and good writing is important too. soundtrack that evokes emotions is kinda important to me as well. not so much necessary but i like it when a movie has an open ending! i look forward to the cinematography a lot too :D but honestly, everything needs to work well together, the writers, actors, and production team.

proxima centauri: if you would have the chance to travel the world, which places or countries would you like to see?

ooooh i want to visit china, germany, dublin, singapore, hanoi, japan, s.korea, and new york! so many places >///<

mimosa: what do you associate with your favourite colour?

beige - comfort, coffee, home, silence, sundays, fresh sheets, and cookie dough :DD

star cluster: what is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year?

gained - interest in filmography, writing, and editing / lost - activeness ?? lmao ever since quarantine I've gotten so lazy / let go of - a close friend of 5 years

moon: “A man is made of memories. It is all we are.“ (Lawrence) what do you think this means? Do you agree?

kind of! how we act and behave was all from our childhood—memories. it shapes us how we are today. we think a lot, we experience a lot, so it think this is what the quote means...? hopefully i don’t sound stupid lol

comet: you have the chance to undo one thing or decision in your life, would you take it? If you are comfortable sharing: what did you change?

yes! i would taken more opportunity and put myself out there more often even if i’ll get hurt—i think it’s a learning experience that i’ll never get back

delta iv heavy: what is your favourite thing about your degree course?

ah i’m not there yet (i’m assuming this is for uni/college). but, i’d like to study fashion design or something in the art department hehe

heavy falcon: what is a subject you are highly interested in but you would never study yourself?

english, biochem, interior design, history, ohmygod i have a lot. but the thing with me is that i’m very interested in anything, i’m curious, but i’ll never commit to anything that isn’t art because i’m simply just not passionate enough. there’s a difference with being interested/curious and passionate for me...? (not to mention i suck at anything else lol)

soyuz: language(s) you would like to learn?

chinese!! i’ve actually started learning 2 years ago but never continued with it because it’s just too hard !!! >:( i also can’t even speak my mother tongue fluently so i need to get that first before learning another one. the tones...are soooo !!! difficult !!!!! i’ve also learned french for 7 years but i sound embarrassing sigh

RCS: how do you stay focused and productive?

sigh...i’m the worst student ever. i just kinda guilt trip myself into studying like “you’re a burden if you don’t do good on xyz” or like just slap myself and get it over with yk? it’s not the best lmaoooooo

RD-270: Do you need silence to study? or do you like to listen to music? if so, what is your go-to study-playlist?

rarely, i like to listen to music 99% of the time. it’s either a random khh/krnb playlist with new songs i’ve never listened to, lofi, or piano music! sometimes i’ll listen to my own playlists but it’s distracting with songs i know lol

Raptor: do you study at home or do you prefer to study at the library/in cafés?

sigh, i hate studying outside. maybe that’ll change for me in the future. i’ve tried studying in the library and i got nothing good done. i’ve also never went to a cafe to study. although i do love the vibes, it’s usually too loud for me. i like being in the comfort of my own room :))

send me a space asks!

[jyndor]

paul krugman and the art of doubling down on shitty takes

so on september 11th, famed nyt editorial writer, keynesian economist and fave of your racist liberal uncle, paul krugman, wrote one of the shittiest takes I have ever seen on twitter, which is SAYING SOMETHING.

krugman famously tweeted this:

and got a million virtual shoes thrown at him for being so ignorant, because anti-muslim hate crimes did actually escalate after 9/11, and the bush administration eagerly fanned the flames of islamophobia in order to make their illegal wars in afghanistan and iraq popular with the public. muslims, sikhs, indians, literally anyone vaguely brown, and lots of black ppl too, were terrorized by their neighbors, (former) friends, classmates, coworkers, etc. and anyone with a muslim friend knows this happened because they've told us about it. and these attacks were reported on. they were, I remember reading about them when I was a kid.

(paul krugman works for the new york fucking times, and while I think the nyt is warmongering centrist garbage, they do actually report on things that happen in the world. he writes editorials for them, surely he reads the damn paper once in a while).

so today, I log on to twitter and see he has decided not to apologize, but rather do the ol' double down, which always works out well.

here are some highlights:

okay so first thing's first, no apology (obviously) since this is a double down. but we got a chart, and liberals do love a good chart when they are being racist and ahistorical.

he admits that the chart is actually inaccurate because it excludes all the other victims of anti-muslim hate crimes who weren't actually muslim (read: the innocents). okay. so already he is losing credibility because he is using an inaccurate chart as the basis of his double down, and really, we love to see it.

after this there's some shit about how he didn't say there wasn't an outbreak of white americans attacking muslims and people mistaken for muslims, but rather that it could have been worse. lol well anything can be worse than it was, as 2020 has taught us. it’s a pedantic mess and I didn’t feel like that was the meat of the double down.

so first off, the iraq war was definitely started for many reasons, but islamophobia was part of it. the bush administration wanted to invade iraq and depose saddam hussein, and steal iraq’s oil for multinational oil companies lbr, and so they exploited americans’ fears about muslims by propagandizing about how it was important for us to attack them over there before they attacked us over here with their weapons of mass destruction, and of course they would attack us over here if given the chance. why? because they hate our way of life here, our freedom. those things were LITERALLY said by bush people and also by their stans at fox news and the wsj, and yes, in the editorial pages at the nyt.

so to someone like paul krugman, who knows lots of conservatives who don’t seem racist, or are educated and distinguished and just... like war? idk but to him, he sees people like them and says, well... they’re not like uneducated filthy poors in west virginia, not that kind of racist.

but what he doesn’t get, or he is being deliberately obtuse about, is that in order for the bush people to dehumanize muslims the way they did, they had to personally place less value on the lives of iraqis than on the value of that sweet crude oil. they were willing to go to war, sacrifice hundreds of thousands of civilians in the process (as well as thousands of american soldiers, but this isn’t about them) because they didn’t see them as anything but collateral damage. and that is fucking racist.

and while I have no interest in playing the “which racist is worse” game, when the west virginia uneducated racist endangers those around them, the politician rich harvard educated racist writes policy and lies us into illegal wars that endanger millions. both are bad, both are racist.

and by the way, him “sticking his neck out” to speak up against going to iraq was brave and necessary, especially because the nyt was pushing the invasion. but when you put it like that... you just sound like a tool. like it was a burden to call out the liars and imperialists. bitch, you’re paul krugman, a nobel laureate and renowned economist. I do not want to discount the IMMENSE pressure and blacklisting that opponents of the bush administration experienced, because showing any opposition to the wars at the time was risky. but idk the way he put that just irked me, especially since he didn’t even lose his job like many in the media did when they spoke up.

usually what liberals do when they fuck up publically is a fake ass apology and a few hail marys, and I assumed he would be on twitter begging for forgiveness on this one since his garbage take went so viral and pissed off so many people. and of course was wrong.

but then he does this:

yeah. your eyes are not deceiving you. that chart is measuring anti-black, anti-lgbtq and anti-”islamic” (lmao who says that bro just say anti-muslim or islamophobic) hate crimes. shut up leftist twitter, black people have it worse than muslims according to my inaccurate chart. so stop attacking me, a rich white man who doesn’t really care about anything other than my reputation.

there is a lot to unpack here, namely that paul krugman is using faux concern for black people as a way to deflect from his shitty ahistorical take about how much restraint white americans showed after 9/11 towards muslims. maybe krugman doesn’t know any black muslims, but they exist. also oppression olympics is stupid even when used by well meaning essentialists, let alone by milquetoast academics.

not to mention that he has already discounted his own shitty chart by saying it doesn’t show the full picture of what happened in these anti-muslim attacks. but even if we take this chart seriously, it actually does not really support his point. look at how many more hate crimes there were against muslims in 2001 than there were in 2000. there are significantly more black people than muslims in the united states. I am not good at math, and surely I am no nobel laureate, but it seems to me that hate crimes against black people increased a little, and hate crimes against muslims increased a lot. and this chart only takes into account three years, and only two of which are post-9/11. so... idk man maybe we should look at what happened in, say, 2003? 2004? how about all of the 2000s?

(source: https://www.pri.org/stories/2016-09-12/data-hate-crimes-against-muslims-increased-after-911)

oh, that is actually pretty consistently bad! yes, there was one spike in 2001/2002, but it isn’t like we went back down to pre-9/11 numbers afterwards. and I am not sure if this information includes non-muslims targeted for “looking muslim” but I would say it is unlikely, since the data seem pretty similar to krugman’s olympic shit.

I am not writing this because paul krugman is particularly shit-for-brains, or because I hate him more than like... idk any other moron on twitter. there were plenty of anti-muslim takes on twitter friday like there are every 9/11, and every day. but krugman is actually someone liberals respect. he is, after all, a nobel laureate and a keynesian economist, and fairly mild mannered. when people in the media like krugman write these ahistorical shitty takes they are, as chomsky wrote, MANUFACTURING CONSENT. it is a deliberate tactic, and it works. and if you want to learn more about this theory, check out this short clip by al jazeera narrated by amy goodman (of democracy now). the media manufactured american consent when they pushed the wars. they continue to do so when they try to rewrite george bush’s history by making trump seem uniquely terrible to muslims.

elites in the press and in government have been trying to whitewash and rehabilitate george bush’s reputation for YEARS, and they are succeeding. and why would they want to do that? well, there are a lot of reasons. one, a lot of people in washington are complicit in bush’s crimes. two, democrats think they need to appeal to moderate republicans (lol) in order to win elections, and I guess they think there are moderate republicans left (lol!), and that those moderate republicans like george bush (LOLLL). three, they want to make trump look uniquely terrible. if they do that, then no one but trump needs to be held to account for his government’s failings. but these are just my speculation.

do not let them rehabilitate george bush any further than they have. it is a fucking shame he will never be held to account for war crimes, but an extra slap in the face to all of his victims when we act like he didn’t do things he did. like stoke anti-muslim hate. he invaded muslim countries with a smile on his face, and that is pretty fucking hateful.

paul krugman doubled down and tried to use Black Lives Matter like a human fucking shield. seems a bit racist imo.

[gcnnerpaxton]

THE CHARACTER STATISTICS

FULL NAME — gunner brick paxton

NICKNAME — little paxton/lp by a few ppl tho he hates it KLSHDGLKHSDLGS bt thts pretty much it.............

D.O.B. — july 31st, 1998

LINK TO THEIR PINTEREST BOARD OR TAG ON YOUR BLOG — board | tag

STAR SIGN / MOON & RISING — leo sun, scorpio moon, gemini rising

MBTI — istj - the logistician

MORAL ALIGNMENT — lawful neutral

MARITAL STATUS & SEXUALITY — single & demisexual

LANGUAGES — english

TALENTS / HOBBIES — film making, piano, guitar, producing music (kinda he tries to make his own music fr the films he does bt is never rly satisfied w it bt they’re not actually Bad), unicycling (very proud he taught himself how to during the summer), magic tricks (loser), etc. jst a very long list of rly random hobbies

TOP 5 MUSICIANS — ac/dc, hozier, janis joplin, guns & roses, new order, heart, the cure..... i kno this is more than 5 bt i hv a hard time narrowing down his fav artists >_>

FAVOURITE BOOK — kane and abel

FAVOURITE FILM & TV SHOW — likes a lot of modern psychological horror...... get out, hereditary, the lighthouse, etc. / watches more youtube play throughs than tv shows but it’s always sunny in philadelphia is his fav show hes rewatched it sm when he goes thru a Depressive Slump

FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME — red dead redemption

WHAT DID THEY DO THIS PAST SUMMER? — they went to nyc to do a film internship!!!

WHERE HAVE THEY TRAVELLED? — uh........ new york, connecticut, wyoming....... pretty much those places only in the states n thts it

DO THEY TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTIONS? — lexapro and zoloft for depression/anxiety, halcion to help with sleep, oxy’s for when his brittle broken body/brain starts acting up due to a fkin bajillion accidents as a kid............ jst a walking pharmacy rly he has so many meds at all times SHDGLKSDHGHLSKDG (i am not a doctor i tried to google if these can all b taken at the same time bt its jst wht . i imagine he’d have bt i kno nothing about anything)

DO THEY HAVE ANY DIAGNOSIS’S? — anxiety, major depressive disorder, underlying trauma n ptsd from events growing up....... looks away dramatically

FICTIONAL CHARACTER THEY ARE MOST LIKE? — ben wyatt (parks and rec), creed (the office), connell (normal people), pope (outer banks), charlie (perks of being a wallflower)

ARE THEY EMPLOYED? WHERE DO THEY WORK? — yes they work at the library on campus

WERE THEY POPULAR IN HIGH SCHOOL? — this man had maybe one good friend in high school

DO THEY DO DRUGS? — yes more so now than ever rly

DRINK? — yes

SMOKE CIGARETTES? — he ‘quit’ bt still does a lot when hes drinking at parties n stuff

SMOKE WEED? — yes

WHERE WERE THEY BORN? WHERE DID THEY GROW UP? — born and raised in laramie, wyoming before coming to radcliffe

DO THEY PLAN TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL? — yes

WHAT ARE THEIR PLANS POST-GRADUATION? — he wants to move to nyc and just make as many films as he possibly can, kinda wants to be a screenwriter and a director but he leans more towards the writing aspect

PARENTS NAMES — john and jessica i think......... just something basic.

DO THEY HAVE SIBLINGS? NAMES & AGES? — elias (26), wyatt (12 when he went missing/presumed dead)

DO THEY HAVE PETS? TYPES & NAMES? — ya he has a tabby cat named bucket that he loves a lot :’) philly gave her to him from off the streets basically fr his bday so when she had a litter he gave philly one of the kittens n she named it pail its all very adorable. 

ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? WHAT IS THEIR RELIGION IF SO? — grew up pretty catholic cuz their parents were heavily involved in the community but doesn’t rly believe in all that/doesn’t practice at the very least

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THEY SLEPT WITH? — like 11.......... 12 ig

WHAT VEHICLE DO THEY DRIVE? IF THEY DON’T DRIVE, HOW DO THEY TRAVEL AROUND TOWN? — he does not hv a license........... elias n most friends r pretty good abt giving him rides but usually he jst walks/takes the bus if need be

DESCRIBE THEIR FASHION — eugh. just......... the worst. has no taste at all............ 90% of his pants r way too big for him cuz they’re jst hand me downs or thrift store finds, too lazy to check if they were his right size, uses shoelaces as a belt to keep them up, ratty sneakers that he’s shoved tissues into to make them fit, lots of 80′s styled wind breakers, mostly thrift store stuff that is either rly funny or jst a bit sad to look at, has been known to wear two different shoes at the same time if he cba looking fr both, has some nice knit sweaters w fun designs bt thts abt it

DO THEY PREFER TO BE BEHIND THE CAMERA OR IN FRONT OF IT? — behind

DO THEY BELIEVE ANY OF THE STORIES ABOUT RADCLIFFE? WHICH ONES? — ya a bit......... hes pretty into ghost stories like tht

DO THEY THINK THE MOTHMAN IS HOT? — yes absolutely.

A QUOTE THAT DESCRIBES THEM —  “I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.”

A SONG THAT THEY WOULD RELATE TO — one foot in the grave - andie

[bitchiha]

Can I get a Naruto, Harry Potter and Marvel ship please? I'm average height with hazel eyes and long, dark-brown hair. I'm sarcastic, stubborn, laid-back, down-to-earth and very open-minded. I love reading, writing, listening to music and taking naps. I love animals, nature, the winter and the fall. I daydream a lot and I'm terrible at social situations (unless I'm really comfortable with the people that are with me). Thank you so much!

Voila!

I ship you with...

Shikamaru Nara!

When he first meets you he’s already like 0-0 wow pretty, but he doesn’t say that of course. He likes that you’re not loud or overbearing, but at the same time you’re not too quiet. You won’t let yourself get pushed around by anyone and you’re also pretty sarcastic, which is a bonus because that means you’ll get each others humour.

One day when he’s walking around the village and he sees you laying on the roof of your house. He was kinda curious as to what you were doing, so he goes up there to check and it turns out your cloud watching. You make some sarcastic comment at it him which he’ll chuckle at, but lay down next to you anyways and watch the clouds with you. Then it kinda all goes downhill from there.

He’ll like lazy things you do together like laying on the grass and cloud watching or more like he cloud watches while you go walk around looking at all the animals in the forest. He likes when you daydream because you look cute when you do it and it’s also an opportunity for him to tease you, but don’t be afraid to be snide back, he lowkey likes it.

WILL TAKE NAPS WITH YOU 24/7!! Like you two may not have been planning to have a nap, but you both wanted one so why not? Sometimes you both won’t get anything done tbh

Will complain about going on little nature walks or exploring for animals, but he secretly likes it. He will definitely make you rest periodically for ‘cloud watching breaks.’ Since your both really go with the flow and down to earth, your dates are more spontaneous. Like he’ll knock on your door and ask if you wanna get some barbecue, or you’ll knock on his door and say it’s a perfect day for a walk. You two can listen to music together while you’re on walks or cloud watching. He thinks his music taste is superior though and will always want the aux cord.

Bonus if can bring you cloud watching and you’ll read a book instead, putting your head on his lap as you do so. He just lives for the little quiet moments like that and will definitely make a routine of asking to cloud watch with him. Also likes if you just talk to him while you’re together like that. It can be about your book, about a new song you like or a decent mission you went on. He just lives for your voice.

Will wanna play Shogi with you, he likes that you really put an effort into the game. You may not be the best, but you’re trying and that’s all that matters. It also really boosts his ego everytime he beats you at Shogi because he wants to make sure you know he’s really smart.

Thinks that both your awkwardness with social situations and your daydreaming are really amusing. He won’t tease you too much about daydreaming all the time because you look pretty when you do it and he doesn’t wanna deter you from it. However, he will get a real kick out of your awkwardness though. Like he won’t be a bitch about it because he wants you to be comfortable, so he’ll try and ease your stress. But beware, if you do something embarrassing or stupid by accident he will laugh his ass off.

You can definitely push him around a bit too. Like you’ll only take the lazy shit 50% of the time. Plus, if you didn’t push him around he would never do anything, so don’t feel bad about it. You’re doing him a favour.

Remus Lupin! (marauders era)

Andrew Garfield is his face claim I don’t give a fuck that’s his face claim fight me

He’s probably been crushing on your for timeee. Like since first year time. Despite your own awkwardness in social situations he’s still too nervous to talk to you.

It isn’t till like fourth year, when you’re hanging around the black lake trying to find the giant squid, that Remus Lupin actually approaches you. Sirius, James and Peter were all hiding behind a tree waiting to hear what your answer would be. They had noticed Remus’ interest in you since first year and they teased him endlessly about it. It wasn’t until this year that they actually managed to get him to ask you out.

When he comes up to you his face is all red and his hands are clammy. You’re really nice to him though, minus the fact that you were a little bit awkward around him. I mean you had little conversations before about animals (you were always reading books about them) and your classes. You were more than happy to hear him ask you out on a date to Hogsmeade though as the feelings he had for you were mutual. That begins the start of a cute and wholesome relationship.

Since you like nature so much, you usually end up lounging outside on lazy school days. Like if its spring and the weather is amazing, you’ll lay on the grass together and read. He’ll love it if you read to him, or sit in his lap so you can both read the book. If it’s fall, you two would walk around the castles courtyard and watch the leaves fall and crunch them with the soles of your shoes. You would probably listen to music on a Walkman Sirius smuggled in for him as you walked around.

If you’re dating a marauder, you basically become one. So that means you’re involved in a lot of antics. You fit in pretty well, you’ve got that sarcasm to bark back whenever Sirius or James want to get sassy. You’ve also got the stubbornness that keeps their plans going, if the prank fails the first time, it will just have to be even better the next time. They’ll love you like a sister and will never allow you to get introuble for their pranks.

Will also love to read the works you’ve written yourself. He will be super supportive and even come up with ideas for you to write about and they’re surprisingly good! Can proofread your work if you want him too bc we know he’s smart asf

When you find out about his ‘condition’ he’s embarrassed, but you reassure him that you aren’t afraid of him and he won’t hurt you. Sometimes he can be too self concious and you’ll have to knock some sense into him.

Will die of happiness if you buy him chocolates. Like make it a routine thing where a certain day of the week, or month you would give him chocolate. He will brag about it constantly to the other marauders. He’ll like whip out the chocolate and be like “oh yah, look at this? Wanna know who got it for me? Y/n!” And there just like: he does this every fucking time

Peter Parker!

So you meet him at school, I can see you being a friend of Michelle’s. You’re definitely more approachable than she is, so he talks to you more and more and eventually Michelle just starts saying “go out already” when ever you two talk. So then he finally works up the courage to.

He’ll come up to you after school at your locker and he’ll give you a flower or something bc he knows you like nature. He’s so nervous when he actually asks you and you can see his face get red and he’s sweaty. You say yes ofc and he’s so happy. Anyways, the first date will be at Central Park bc that’s like the only form of nature he can find in New York. Then he’ll take you to that Thai place he usually goes to with Aunt May.

After that you two become inseparable. You’ll come over to his place and read while him and Ned build their LEGO Star Wars shit. Sometimes you’ll help but other times you’ll read or watch them.

Peter can be a sassy little shit, but guess what? so can you. Will have sass offs of sarcastic remarks for a good half an hour.

You’ll find out his identity as Spider-Man at the same time as Ned. Like the two of you were supposed to hang out at Peters and finish the LEGO Death Star and then spider man crawls through the window and your both like: bitch wtf

Anyways he will 10/10 swing you around New York with him. You’ll probably lay on the roofs of a building and watch the sun go down. He will web a lil hammock for you two to lay on and it would just be so chill.

Likes to listen to music with you while you’re on the subway together. You two are just commuting to school and whips the AirPods out, one for you and one for him. The two of you will alter in who will play the music that day. Also will get sandwiches with you after school and treat you everytime, even if he’s borderline broke.

Will brag about you to aunt may 24/7 and will get all his romantic advice from her. So sometimes the romantics gestures he makes are a little sappy but you can tell he’s trying so you don’t care. Since you really like nature he’ll put an effort into doing things that involve it with you. Like you’ll go out of the city to pumpkin patches in the fall or in the winter you could have a snowball fight on the way to school and in the summer you’ll go on walks in the parks a lot.

Will also brag about you to the avengers and show you off through pictures on his phone and they’ll be like: bruh we get it shut up twerp. But they ship you guys anyways so.. and when he’s on missions he misses you a lot so expect him to ft at odd times. Like he’s fighting a bad guy but he misses you? Expect a ft call. He’s on a top secret mission that is deeply classified? Expect a ft call.

Also he will send you memes 24/7 and expects memes in return. It’s common courtesy, jheez ppl.

[crowned-ladybug]

(Same anon here) I'm really happy u liked my idea :D I love finding people with the same/similar ideas I have :> also I love your writing and I like the scenario you mentioned about Joseph and Caesar, that could lead to some angst and fluff :0

Hi I am So Sorry that this is so late, I’m not even gonna list the reasons why, I’m just. so sorry.

It’s so nice finding other ppl who enjoy the same hcs I do and getting to Talk About Them!!!

As for the plot idea - part of me wishes I could make this a proper fic but alas, I already have too much on my plate and no time/energy to write most days. It still ran away with me a bit tho so under the read more it goes!

So this is still back on Air Supplena and Caesar and Joseph are just. hanging out. Caesar is trying to Read but emphasis on Trying actually bc he’s been rereading the same damn line for the past two minutes just not comprehending any of it bc Joseph won’t stop messing with his goddamn clackers and Making Noise and it’s Distracting and Annoying and Caesar is getting real fed up with it

(Maybe if he actually Said something in a civil manner then Joseph would’ve stopped doing that and let him read instead of leaving Caesar to fume without saying Anything just expecting things to change on their own but I digress)

So eventually Caesar groans: “Jesus Christ, why do you have to be so Annoying, just Stay Quiet Already,” and he reaches over and yanks the clackers out of Joseph’s hand. “I’m taking these. There.”

And he’d be ready to just go back to reading with the clackers dropped on his lap and Joseph finally Quiet bc for all Caesar cares he can stalk off to sulk elsewhere as long as he’s Quiet about it

Joseph is not quiet about anything

The clackers, as already established, are his stim toy. His favourite at that. He’s had the dang things for a while now and they’re Perfect and he uses them so often that they’ve become His Thing and since he can use them for fighting also he doesn’t have to feel weird about having them on hand all the time

And he’s grown up with almost every adult besides Erina and Speedwagon, as well as a lot of not-adults, telling him that everything he does bc of his ADHD is weird or wrong or stupid. He’s been yelled at to stay still in school so many times and had his stim/fidget toys taken and told off for stimming (and poor volume control, and memory issues, and infodumping, and so many other things that are just Natural to him) and told to just grow up and stop acting so childish and embarrassing and annoying, that everything he ever does to make himself comfortable and happy is actually gross and immature and should be stopped-

And now Caesar just told him the same thing and it hits differently from all the other times he’s called him annoying, and he took his fuckin clackers too and he’s acting like it’s just Okay to Do and-

Joseph sees red.

Caesar has no time to react before they’re both on the floor and all he can do is try to dodge and block Joseph’s fists as he yells at him to give him his fuckin clackers back. And it’s scary beyond just. fighting someone who’s v strong and knows how to punch (bc ofc so does Caesar), it’s scary bc Joseph is v obviously Genuinely Upset?? This isn’t an impromptu wrestling match on the floor over something dumb and petty that they’ll call truce over in just a bit and go back to teasing each other. No, Caesar has somehow Fucked Up even if he doesn’t realise How nor how to Fix It

This all goes down in the span of seconds btw before Joseph like. catches himself and realises what he’s doing, which is. trying to beat his best friend into the carpet for taking his Stupid Childish Toy that he shouldn’t even Have bc what kind of Idiot gets so attached to some dumb Toy and makes Constant Annoying Noises with it. And Caesar is reaching up tentatively to put a hand on his arm to try to placate him or snap him out of it or Something and that’s when Joseph just Bolts

Like. clackers forgotten and everything, he just. utilises his favourite secret technique and runs for it

“It” being his room. He locks the door and sits on the floor next to it for a while trying to catch his breath and collect himself. Eventually he manages to get up and get his scarf to fumble with it to calm himself better bc the scarf is also Important like the clackers are

He’s fucked up Big Time. Now Caesar knows he’s weird no matter how hard he tries to save face, bc even if he doesn’t Say anything, even if he never gets his clackers back (oh god, where are they, did he leave them with Caesar, oh fuck-) his strong reaction to Caesar taking them will Definitely betray to him that Something Is Up. Caesar is a smart guy, Joseph can’t expect him not to catch on to Something being off anyway even if he doesn’t exactly know What bc it’s already enough evidence that Joseph is Weird and Childish in all the ways that are Undesirable

Caesar goes after him bc ofc he does. He wants to figure out how he fucked up and Fix It and also lbr. if this Was something Joseph would want to just be left alone with, Caesar wouldn’t really realise that until he got punched again. So he takes the clackers and goes looking for Joseph (which takes him some time bc he doesn’t Know what’s going on and thus that Joseph would be in his room where he can dig out his favourite scarf or bury himself under a pile of blankets bc that’s Comforting, and as small as the island is, it’s Full of good hiding places)

But he eventually comes up to Joseph’s room and knocks. “Jojo, you in there?”

“Go away.”

“…do you actually mean that?”

And okay that’s unfair bc even buried under three blankets (pressure is Good but his weighted blanket is at home in New York and he is here in positively Not New York) and feeling like the world is overall a v shitty place, he still likes Caesar. Even if he knows that it’s dumb to want comfort from the same person that hurt him in the first place.

And then Caesar adds: “I still have your clackers.”

And it’s not like. blackmail or anything, more like “hey I wanna give these back tho” and that’s what does it bc Joseph wants his clackers back and so he v bitterly decides that if Caesar thinks he’s gross and weird now then Joseph can just punch him and they can go back to hating each other like they had back in Rome

He hates that possibility tho

He allows Caesar in and sits up in his bed while he’s at it so that he can have at least Some dignity left. Caesar sits on the bed with him tho he does keep a larger distance than he usually does and Joseph Really hopes that’s “I don’t wanna freak you out again” kinda distance and not “you’re just gonna punch me for no reason again aren’t you” kinda distance

Before he does anything else, Caesar gives the clackers back and Joseph just. puts them down on the bed on the Caesar-free side of himself bc he’s Very Consciously trying Not to Act Weird

He doesn’t look at Caesar’s face tho bc that’s a lil too much for him rn

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Joseph just shrugs. “It’s fine, it’s…dumb.”

“It’s not dumb if it made you upset.”

And that’s so fuckin sweet and Honest and Caesar sounds like he genuinely feels bad for messing Joseph up so much but also Joseph doesn’t know what to Do with that when Caesar doesn’t even Know what he’s talking about, bc ofc it’s Dumb.

“No, it…it is dumb. Don’t worry about it.”

I’d say Caesar operates like 80% on Pure Spite so if you tell him not to worry about something he Will worry about it just to be an asshole but tbh it’s mostly just bc he loves Joseph in this case

“Can I ask why though?”

Joseph doesn’t expect whatever that is so much that he actually looks at Caesar for a moment. “Why what?”

“Why you got so upset. Or why you think it’s dumb,” and when Joseph doesn’t look convinced he continues. “I mean, we fight all the time, sure, but it’s never Serious…right?”

He genuinely looks Uncertain there for a moment and that’s a Big Fuckin Ouch bc of Course it’s never serious, ever since they took turns punting each other into that fountain in Rome none of their fights have been actually serious. They spar for training and they have joke-fights bc it’s fun to rile each other up and gain bragging rights but it’s never about Hurting and in face of real danger they’d protect each other over themselves in a heartbeat

So Joseph just nods, and Caesar carries on.

“But back there you got. really fucked up over what I did and. I guess I just wanna know Why so I know not to do that again?” and with that even He thinks he’s done but then he adds: “You’re my friend.”

And that’s such a fuckin clumsy way to end it bc he can’t say the rest of it, the “I know this here isn’t about comfort but I want you to be comfortable anyway” and “the world is shit and I don’t wanna be another person who hurt you” and “I love you.” So he just leaves it at that.

Joseph automatically wants to go “that’s easy, don’t take my clackers then, dipshit��� but like. 1, Caesar is being v v nice so he Won’t be mean in return and 2, there’s so much more connected to his Weirdness that could set him off the same way besides his clackers being taken. So instead he just really appreciates the sentiment and Caesar in general and decides that it’s all a too big a can of worms for him to wrangle and he’d rather just weather the painful parts as they come

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t get it anyway, it’s fine.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, just no one gets it! Whatever, it’s weird shit.”

“If you think I don’t get it, fine, then explain it to me!”

And Joseph doesn’t know what to fuckin Say to that bc no one besides his family has ever asked him to do that. It was always just being told to put his stim toys away and stop moving too much and oh fuck just shut up already, never Why.

He makes a vague noise bc he forgets how to Words for a moment bc of that, and Caesar takes it as a question.

“Jojo, we’re gearing up to fight a bunch of gods with ancient magic so that we can get two rings of poison out of your body, and you really think I can’t handle ‘weird’? Because I can, thank you very much, and it’s You, so I don’t Care if it’s weird anyway.

(He ignores the huge fuckin implications of that and just keeps talking.)

"So, will you explain so that I can understand?”

And he’s Smiling and how Dare and oh fuck when did Joseph even manage to look at him again. He stares for a lil too long bc What The Fuck before he goes “Okay.”

And Caesar’s smile grows into a grin like he really is just. genuinely happy to understand this part of Joseph and make sure he doesn’t hurt him again, and Joseph braces himself for an awkward conversation with Hopefully a happy ending.

(And Joseph ends up being right bc Caesar doesn’t Understand, he can’t really fully understand.

But he Tries and more importantly he Listens and he Learns and is v adamant about the fact that Joseph isn’t Weird and Wrong when it comes to these things. So he doesn’t take away the clackers again and he finally connects the dots about why Joseph always lets him lean too much of his weight on him even if he risks toppling the two of them over and so he keeps doing it. He learns Joseph’s hyperfixations and how to prod him into talking about them to make him happy or distract him from shitty things, and what it looks like when his RSD kicks in and how to act around it.

Maybe he doesn’t Get It but it’s part of Joseph, and he loves all the other parts of Joseph too. And also tbh he’s a decent fuckin human being, even if he didn’t love Joseph so much he still wouldn’t act like an asshole about this stuff.)