#ppl sent by their gp

[paintedpigeon1]

I'm in the UK. To renew a blue badge (aka getting a new one, there's no easy renewal form/button) you need the past five years of medical history. It lasts three years.

You can't walk due to a permanent disability? Yeah we need evidence of the past 5yrs of medical history. Yes even though nothing's changed. Yes even though you gave us half of this last time.

It's the same with freedom passes. As if someone who's profoundly deaf is going to magically have gained their hearing back (the pass lasts 5yrs but they ask for evidence you still need it after 2-3yrs).

It's a pisstake, aimed to stop people claiming I'm sure.

the government "checking in" on disabled people to make sure were still disabled is one of the most demeaning and humiliating things out there, how is there no checkbox that says "this persons disability is lifelong and incurable" why do you think people's amputated limbs will grow back, are you on the hunt for the return of jesus christ and your way of catching him is hoping that the blind will see again????

[tomwambsmilk]

Nobody has stronger opinions about the state of the Canadian healthcare system than people waiting to register at the walk in clinic

[from-vuka]

So... this is a drabble (do ppl still use that word?) for a future idea i have of Ghoap x reader.... lol (i think reader is gender neutral but i could be wrong ;;) not all of it is planned out so there may be gaps but imma rewrite into a whole piece maybe????

Listen idk im still getting used to putting myself out there LMAO

cw: implied cheating towards the end, neglectful relationship (not simon), married! reader, "the one that got away" mentality (idk if this is a cw but i put here)

‧₊*: ⋅ଳ⋅˚₊‧𖦹₊⊹⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

When they parked, the first question was where to go.

The mission has been a bust. Intel was incorrect or outright wrong, gaps missing in reports that they knew would be a problem later--and they were always right. When shit hit the fan, they knew exactly what to do: collect their people and dip before Laswell had anything to say about shooting at Russian military.

The little SUV they stole was hot, the AC blasting but doing little to quelch the need for water or how sweaty they had gotten running despite the possibility of snow. Price had long since left the car, pacing back and forth as he tried to call Kate. Gaz tinkered on the laptop, seeing if any of the files they were able to download or code ripped from its program could indicate a next step, a lead in the right direction.

Soap and Ghost sat in the trunk; its overhead door open to let in the late autumn breeze.

“Fuck, another night on the fuckin’ ground,” Soap moaned, leaning back against the inner side of the SUV. “Gonna be a rough fu--”

“I know a place,” Simon said quickly, almost too quick. His thumbs, looking too big for the little cracked screen of the iPhone 8 the military gave him (since he refused a smartphone for as long as possible) hit the virtual keyboard. He sent two messages before the machine was buzzing and flashing. He got up, rolled his shoulders, and answered.

Johnny whistled, pulling Gaz from the blue light of his laptop to Simon. His feet paced like John’s but quicker; too much energy for such a short call. His eyes didn’t seem so harsh as he explained the situation, describing his irritation at the whole thing. When he hung up, his body relaxed only a fraction before turning to the car.

“Got us a place to lay low,” He murmured. “Don’t see us getting a hotel from Laswell,” He commented as John cursed and gripped his phone, containing the growing rage for another short while. “Reception out here isn’t gonna happen ‘til the clouds fuck off.”

“The fuck you mean you know a place?” Soap asked, and Simon tugged his arm to pull him out of the trunk.

He closed the trunk door and shoved Soap into the back seat, he himself taking the driver’s seat. John didn’t question their new set-up, sitting in the passenger’s side and pointing the vents at his sweaty skin.

“We’re stayin’ with a friend. Lives remote, no neighbors, little to no internet,” Ghost hummed, pulling off the side of the road and heading to where his GPS blinked in retaliation for the lack of connection.

The team didn’t ask any more questions, too tired from the run to get this shitty little SUV, and instead reflected on the mission and their faults, as if they could have done anything to change the outcome. Bad intel is bad intel—there isn’t a way to fix it or better training to prepare for it. Still, the loss burned their skin like fire ant bites.

At a certain point, the phone stopped giving directions. Gaz questioned it, and Simon’s response made sense: when you live as remote as his friend did, GPS could only take you so far. The rest was muscle memory.

Soap asked him how often he came here. Simon said every time he had to leave the base, get away from the shitty flat he rents only for when he’s off deployments. Most of his possessions, he said, live here. There wasn’t anyone he trusted more than this person.

As they pulled down a dirt road, the first they saw was you.

You stood outside the two-floor cabin, standing on a wrap-around porch, your hands on your hips as you watched the shitty, sad SUV park on the dirt driveway. Simon was the first to pop out despite being the driver, taking big steps up to you and the front door. His body was tense only for a moment before you hugged him hello, silent otherwise, and let him trail mud, dirt, and blood into your home.

The rest watched from the car until you waved them up, turning and heading inside. On edge, they headed into the cabin and found it homey. It wasn’t what they were imagining from previous safe houses: dirty floors with stains and dust; broken or bare furniture, maybe none at all; thick spider webs and old cooking pots.

No, it was homey-homey. The furniture was worn but comfortable, soft blankets and thick pillows over any cushioned surface available. Rugs lined the wooden floors, making pathways for your socked feet. The windows had stained glass art pieces hanging to let the light shine in rainbows, and the few lights that were on at this point in the evening were small table lamps and a candle burning in the renovated and cozy kitchen. They could smell stew cooking on the stovetop and bread baking in the fire oven.

Simon didn’t seem to feel any of the intrusion that they did. His shoes were left by the door, a couple pairs that looked eerily similar lined up on a shoe rack. The coat rack had a mix of grey, Simon-sized hoodies and jackets with fluffy, colorful, graphic jackets that seemed to fit you.

Even as Simon wandered into the kitchen, checking on the stew and bread, he looked like he fit in the small space. He opened the fridge and pulled out a case of ale and a little bottle of wine while you grabbed beer mugs and a few wine glasses. You handed him the bottle openers as he handed you oven mitts for the bread. It was synchronized—Simon had been here enough before to know how you lived and worked.

“Who’s this?” Price asked, breaking the spell between you two. Simon glances at you then at Price.

Simon explained, grinning a little as he did, that you were his best friend of nearly 10 years; that you were the person on his emergency contact and his address when he was deployed. He watched as you started serving the stew and he said that you gave him permission to keep a low profile in your home until Laswell could tell them what to do next. There weren’t any other options available that wouldn’t bring attention to them, unless they wanted to sleep in the woods. Until then, Simon saw no reason to leave this place.

Price wanted to be the one to speak the truth—that Laswell would probably get back to them by morning—but as he watched Simon place full bowls on the kitchen table in the next room over while he mumbled to you about grabbing spoons and butter knives, he couldn’t. Instead, he nodded and led the rest to the table, enjoying the quiet moments of delicious and hot food that were far better than any MRE they had in their backpacks.

The rest of the night was calm. Johhny was eager to ask questions (and John and Kyle ready to listen), but the time never came. After dinner, you showed them where the two bathrooms were and where the guest shower was located. You took them into the basement where several couches and chairs sat around a stove heating the space and a flatscreen with VHS and DVD players. A few retro gaming consoles sat displayed on the TV stand. Pointing out the blankets, comforters, and pillows on one of the couches, you said that the laundry room was in the little space off to the side in case they wanted fresh clothes. Afterwards, you thanked them for keeping the place clean and headed up to the master bedroom.

It didn’t shock any of them when Simon trailed behind you.

Clean, fed, and exhausted, the interrogations began the next morning when you wandered downstairs in one of Simon’s shirts, putting sausage in a cast iron skillet for breakfast. Johnny, now awake and ready to annoy, sat in the kitchen and asked you question after question as you answered honestly.

“Why do you live out here?”

“It’s private.”

“Do you like it here?”

“Yes. Otherwise, I would move.”

“Where do you work?”

“Don’t need to.”

“Why don’t you need to work?”

“I have money.”

“How’d you get it?”

“...Si, usually.”

Johnny smirked like a fox when he thought he caught you, but you just giggle at his obsessive nature and finish up cooking. Simon comes down nearly 30 minutes later, settling beside you in the kitchen as he brews tea and coffee. His hands wandered every now and again to your arms, your side, a hand on your lower back as he moves around the kitchen—which makes Johnny’s eyes boggle. How could Simon be keeping such a sweet thing so hidden? Why is he lying by saying a ‘friend’?

It wasn’t until later, when the morning blurred into afternoon, that they understood why.

When he arrived, Simon’s mood soured while yours grew sweeter, if only for a moment. You kissed the mystery man at the door and told him the situation, to which he didn’t seem to mind. He headed upstairs, practically ignoring your silent requests for tender affection to shower. You sulked a little, trying to put on a brave face as you started on lunch. Simon was there, then, chatting with you more than he did anyone as you prepared subs and fries. They could hear your angelic rings of laughter as he calmed you into your previously happy self.

When the man came back down, he ordered you to grab him a beer, and you did so without a second thought. He demanded you grab the remote, whined when it wasn’t working (“As always,” Simon later grumbled), and took out his frustration on you. He berated your meal with backhanded compliments. He ignored your requests for napkins or salt to finish his food and leave for the shed outside, dirty plate and crumbs left on the table.

You sighed as he left, frowning and watching him disappear into the wooden shed. Then Simon was there again, taking up his seat beside you and set up to finish eating there. His eyes glanced at you, cracking piss-poor dad jokes to get your little voice to chuckle as you finished eating—maybe not as much as Simon thought you should, as he later shoved cut-up plum and cheese squares into your face while the two of you sat on the wrap-around porch and caught up over tea.

John wasn’t sure what to do; Gaz and Soap were even more lost. It was so clear, then it was so confusing. It wasn’t until dinner was over and the team was sitting by a little bonfire, you and your apparent husband off to bed for the night, that they asked Simon.

“Who is that, really?” John asked.

“...I dunno. Thought we were somethin’, then we weren’t. I knew the world wouldn’t wait for me forever. Now... now I have this.”

“You give ‘em money?” Johnny, now, asked.

“Have to. Stupid fucker blows it all at casinos or fucking hides it. He’ll make it a problem if things aren’t paid on time when he’s the jackass ruining the credit score. Don’t know for sure, but I think the fucker might get close to physical when I’m not here. Thinkin’ bought putting cameras around just to make sure.”

“So... what? Is this just how you’ll spend the rest of your life? Don’t think you’ll need to do much convincing, that bastard doesn’t care,” Kyle said, leaning back in his seat.

“He doesn’t. Our jobs are similar, he’s just in construction. Leave for a while, come back for a little bit, and then leave again. The only difference between that bloke and me is that I like being here. But...”

He thinks to you: how happy you were to date the jackass, playing with your hair nervously; how you glowed with something primal and sensual after he showed you “the best night of your life,” even if you’d go back on your words later when the love-bomb spell wore off; how he proposed so sloppily yet you ate it up like candy because no one had ever treated you so sweetly. It didn’t matter that he got so drunk at the wedding he puked on your dress or that Simon swore he saw the moron kissing another girl at a party but couldn’t be the one to ruin you by telling the truth. Your husband was romantic, you said, but all Simon saw were red flags and a growing need to rearrange the fucker’s teeth.

“But I can’t destroy happiness I don’t understand.”

“I don’t think what’s going on is ‘happiness’...” Johnny said, opening another bottle. “More like... I dunno, a lack of respect? Not knowing what happiness really is?” He bit his lip before clicking his tongue in triumph. “No, no, it’s complacency. Nothing bad can happen if nothin’ changes.”

Simon hums, smoking a cigarette and watching the flames of the fire.

Kyle glanced at Price, who cleared his throat for a second. “Simon, I’m not usually one for this kind of thing, but--”

“I know, need to get over it,” Simon snapped, smoking down the cigarette into a nub before throwing it into the firepit.

Price frowned. “I think it might be the opposite.”

“I’m not destroying a family.”

“There isn’t a family, Ghost, just two people who are married and don’t do shit together,” Johnny said. “He doesn’t seem to be in the picture. How often is this place empty? There’re no photos of them on the wall. He didn’t seem happy to see his own partner. They don’t even have kids.”

Simon frowns. “I know. It’s the main complaint... lyin’ ‘bout what he wants.”

“So then... take ‘em,” Johnny said, Kyle rolling his eyes. “It doesn’t seem like anyone’s holding on too tight.”

Simon didn’t speak again that night. He headed upstairs when the rest departed for the basement. The next day, the man was kissing you good-bye as the team came upstairs. You looked sad, miserable even, and followed him outside. The two of you spoke, but he snapped at you before heading to the car, ignoring your whines for a last kiss. He drove off and you came back inside, starting breakfast in silence again.

When Simon came down, he knew. He pushed John, Kyle, and Johnny to the basement so he could hold you and comfort you. You cried hard into his chest, hiccupping and sobbing as you whined about his disregard for your comfort—that he didn’t care enough to kiss you goodbye again when you asked him if this was the last time he’d leave you.

Simon hated it because himself in your lover. He imagined it before: leaving for a deployment and seeing your round teary eyes as he packed. He’d stop, instead picking you up to kiss you and lay you on the bed, proving that he loved you so much more than you knew. Maybe he wouldn’t even be able to leave if you cried like you had in the past.

No, he wouldn’t. He’d see your face and feel the fear you have of losing him. He’d leave his bags in the bedroom to pull you close to the couch, feeling over your skin like he’s been dying to do since he met you in that dirty dive bar when you both were in your early 20s. He’d ignore phone calls from Price or Laswell or any other CO to take you out for dinner and fuck you in the back of his truck like you always giggled about. He’d shower with you when you came home, wash your hair and realize your scent is all around him, not just the quick perfume he gets every time you pass by.

Would he mourn the death of his career? Probably not—not if you were pressed to his side, lips kissing his jaw and chin as he held your legs in his lap. (If he was lucky, maybe even pregnant.) Every metal, award, trophy... it’d dull the moment you stood beside it, the moment his brain conjured up your image in lieu of polished gold. He’d put on his crisp, shiny-adorned uniform one last time for your wedding. You always said the fabric made him look so regal.

It wasn’t a surprise when the next morning you seemed gloomy. You tried to play it off, smiling when talking to someone before retreating back into yourself, and John could tell how much it hurt Simon. He trailed behind you like a kitten, watching from doorways to make sure the waterworks hadn’t started. When they did, he tugged you to the master bedroom and let you curl up into the blankets and sob. Simon rubbed your back, a silent yet strong barrier between you and loneliness.

You asked him what you should do—how could you keep loving a man who won’t treat you like a person? Who won’t see you as anything but a hole to fuck when he comes home before leaving again? He wasn’t soft like Simon, you said, and Simon felt conflicted.

He wasn’t soft. No one else got to see the affection he rarely used, felt his hands doing anything other than breaking and taking. He towered over men far weaker than him. He didn’t feel remorseful for the pain he caused to those who deserved it and maybe even the ones who didn’t. He made himself built for war, yet you cried into his lap and called him a softie.

Maybe he was—but only for you. You were just an exception.

He couldn’t tell if it was the conversation from the previous night or your red cheeks and puffy eyes that did it for him. He couldn’t bare letting you fall apart over an ugly motherfucker like your husband. He calmed you, pulling your limp body into his lap. His arms around you felt more like a strait jacket than a hug, but you took it readily. Your fingers gripped his shirt, and he truly realized the effect you had on him. Tilting your chin up, he hummed a soft apology before pressing his lips to yours, keeping his hand on your jaw.

Maybe, after that, it was a good thing the bedroom door was locked. Maybe it took a few days for you to completely move forward, legal papers signed and delivered at the little post office in town, 25 minutes from your cabin. Maybe Simon was there, his hands and lips unable to leave your skin for longer than a minute. Maybe, as he left with Laswell’s next instructions, he took you upstairs one last time and promised to be back later, when he was done—that he’d come back and take you to the courthouse that same evening, paying a stranger to watch you exchange vows if Johnny didn’t tag along like he figured he would, and you’d never feel lonely again.

Imagine your surprise when he showed up three months later and he kept his word—with a certain loud Scot in tow, too.

[earlysunshines]

why do i feel a little insane bc i like gp but i swear i didn’t see u being harmful?? 😭

like having opinions is normal and it’s not like u were shaming ppl 💔 i went back to read another writer’s work too and i saw u interacting even if it was gp. so like i get that some ppl want u to be safe but also like it’s your blog u can say whatever you want 😭😭

like there’s a middle ground where ppl just get both sides and i think a lot of ppl should find it 😭

no hate to that anon bc i GET what they mean but i think it’s like also. let ppl have opinions esp bc ur already clarifying yourself in your answers 😭💔

but also thanks for being a real one and supporting everyone 🤞

they sent another ask saying the whole discourse gave them body dysmorphia but i responded w the second ask they sent so that reaalallly made me rethink my word choice bc i would never want anyone to feel like that of course

i can’t remember what works i interacted w it was prolly a while back 😭😭

but yeah i do have my opinions and still hate gp but the fact that i made them feel bad irks me esp bc one of my close friends is a trans woman and i was literally with her throughout the whole transition😭😭 didn’t mean to harm anyone forreaaaal

[weirdalfemme]

R u feeling any better today? I hope so <3333

first of all thank you for reaching out & checking in on me, that means a lot!!! 💗💗💗🌈🐑 as for how i'm doing its a bit complicated since i still been pretty isolated aside from talking to theo & being mostly muted on calls. i been leaning on dark shadows for comfort mainly

my digestions slower than usual lately and with news from the other day ive just been sitting around discouraged. i try not to be but i don't really know where to go next. ive been thru like 3 stomach doctors so idk. a close pal sent me a gp server to join, thats the only real thing im thinking of doing next bc i never had a support group of ppl with gp. i been too nervous to join yet tho 😭 it seems like a nice server, im just afraid

other than my mid-life crisis im okay i think. my beloved theo always helps me and comfort media. my mind switches blorbos of nicholas blair, alfie funtimes / glenn harod, reverend putty on the regular ^_^

[wisteriagoesvroom]

the singapore gp 👀 (for the opinion thing)

i was gonna write a whole blogpost about my experience, and probably still will, but that aside -- i admit that my previous impression of sg gp was wrong (slower track, mostly ppl there for the $$$ socialising, what is the point when you could watch it on tv) -> like, all of these are still somewhat true but also two things can be true at once. and in fact. quali day was SUPER fun!

i say this because concert crowds here can be kind of mid tbh, but the folks who attended the gp were super fired up and funny and it was just a really good time walking around the track despite the 30+ degree heat, and seeing all the adjacent stuff like the porsche cup and the f1 academy. 10/10 would actually recommend. also the night race is indeed pretty cool to see, and you can get up close to the track in a way that's maybe less possible in even bigger GPs, somehow.

like. the vibes @ sg gp were vibing!! people were fired up!! i think this is a side effect of DTS's popularity too because the drivers themselves on the fan stage were saying singapore was incredibly loud and passionate compared to previous years which. not to like attribute it to my impact but i was also like, soooo loud? thanks lewis hamilton for calling us loud people out. we were sent out of class for being disruptive and now we are yelling at fanmeets

AND... PIA win 2night queen? PIA win somehow making his way thru the pack of 5 people ahead of him? he's our blorbo we must have faith. amen.

from ask me about things but i can only speak about them positively aksdjksjdks

[placeinthisworld]

i am relating to SO much of what im reading on ur blog rn. do not get me wrong - i LOVE ttpd and love taylor. it's kind of one of those things that's like "always have, always will." im always going to be so grateful for her work and this community, and as i said - i AM loving the music rn!

BUT. she feels different, and feels so far away. i know we are not owed her time or attention, but when you've built your entire brand on fan connection and being "different" than any other celebrity in that regards, it's going to feel off and unexpected when it suddenly stops with no explanation. most of her little interaction is on tiktok, which is half the time not with actual fans, but rather anyone who uses her song in the background (which a lot of times is influencers!) ppl say "yeah but now she does so much more for us" .... yeah... so many new THINGS to buy.

i also think she's at a place where she KNOWS she is on top of the world rn (good for her!) but it has come with a complex - she knows now she doesnt NEED to be close with her fans, doesnt NEED to use her platform for good, doesnt NEED to take constructive criticism - because the gp likes her enough to where she doesn't even need a strong centralized fanbase. as of rn, no opposition can make a dent in her fame or income and she knows it. and it feels icky, and honestly makes her feel less human (which is interesting, because the ttpd is imo some of the most raw humanlike work)

the new social circle is off too. i dont hate travis, and i was happy for her, but have come to like him less and less since realizing he's a bit sleazy and is kind of only liberal for pay. he's publicly made r*pe jokes and xenophobic comments in the past couple years (NOT from 15 year old tweets! recent!) his dad is also super transphobic and mahomes brother is a charged SAer yet taylor gallavants w both of them. travis just seems like an oaf and while im glad she had something more easy and fun, it's telling that there's been a lack of backlash towards him when he's exhibited the same behavior as matty and the only things taylor could write ab him were sports and high school references. i hate to even touch on her personal life like this but god forbid this is a forever thing :/ omg this is a lot but yeah im glad we're having this convo

yup!! bestie your feelings are so valid and i feel very very similarly about everything!!

she knows she doesn’t need to appeal to a niche audience of tween girls anymore. she knows she’s beyond that. fate worked its magic and now she’s america’s it girl without any of drama of having to censor her work. and while yes i’m very proud and happy for her, you’re exactly right, she’s more than happy to continue to push things for us to buy in order to feel close to her. she’s already established a group of life long fans by those who she’s interacted with, invited to things, sent money too etc. so she really doesn’t have to do anything else besides make more music and have the world speculate about her personal life. at the end of the day she just feels sooooo disconnected to us now, compared to how we used to have it at least.

ugh i knew icky meathead was sleazy without even needing taylor to bring him into the limelight but now everyone and their mom is obsessed and up his ass too. EVEN with all those gross things about him (we all saw the recent commencement speech excuse 🤢) he’s definitely democratic for pay. i definitely don’t think he’s gonna stick around forever, either he’ll fuck up and get caught w another girl or she’ll get bored of his ass (speculating that this is a legit relationship and not PR at least lol) she’s a girl that needs a new boy every now and then i fear.

generally i’m just disappointed in her now in a lot of aspects. but completely disconnecting from the world, acting like a whole ass genocide is not actively happening, only ever promoting of talking about herself or her own work just seems so bland and selfish. she’s mentioned voting like what, twice this year? in generic ghost written sentences on an IG story?

[jensettermandu]

Hii you dont have to reply to this cuz i dont wanna to stir up any further issues but i just hope you read this pls but no offense to anyone and i understand why this happened // the poll but why are ppl being mean to the gpidol loseridol anons..? they ask for stufftoo and the person just asked for one thing why is it a big issue they act like they’re the ones writing the fics, if you as the writer dont have an issue with it why do they? sorry i just dont like how mean they r being in your anons and i mean no offense at all but its so unnecessary, sheesh let ppl ask for stuff too and im so sorry you even havevto deal with this shit.. you just wanna write and make ppl feel included but the anons are making it feel like YOU have an issue with it and ik you dont but it feels so secluded and even i get too nervous to ask you for a request im just really sorry, you’re amazing and your writing makes a lot of ppl very happy including me cause of how good it is and you genuinely dont deserve this shit over a poll or for simply including others in your work :/ if you read all this thank u, i have been an og from wattpad and i genuinely appreciate you and your work and i adore it, but i hope its not too much for you atp with how much people want sm from you already thank u for giving us the work you create <3

thank you, you're so sweet babe

i just think it's cause i've gotten so many gp idol requests that people feel like i might leave gp reader behind which is not happening since i enjoy both equally (gxg too) i am just trying to make everyone feel included with this which takes a lot more than having a blog that focuses on one thing specifically. that's part of why i chose to do a poll rather than choose myself what i will write. like just a week ago i was only writing for jennie and here i am writing for more than her

and for the bash of loser idol, i get that everyone has their preferences 'cause i do too, BUT do not be shy to send in more requests for these things since i do not mind writing these prompts and stuff such as loser idol and whatnot. please do not take anything anyone has sent to heart and whatever isn't of your taste just ignore it and stay for what you like <3 I DO NOT THINK IT SHOULD MATTER WHAT THE REST OF MY FOLLOWERS THINK OF IT SINCE I AM THE ONE WRITING AND SHOULD BE COMFY WITH DOING IT WHICH I AM. period.

despite the little conflict that happened, i am trying to make this a place where all of you can request whatever you want without needing to feel nervous about it (you are anonymous for a reason) if it happens that i do not want to write it, i will either just ignore it or politely decline it

[jaxyscreams]

Hoping the financial support stuffs goes thru & is accepted real quick bc from 1st of October I can get a flu shot but dammit it’s 400kr,,

Tho maybe I can get it at my GP and considering I have a free card I think it won’t cost me anything??

Idk I think I’ll have to call them & ask

1. If they can do flu shots considering that they’re still settling into the place since they moved there the 21st of august

2. If it’ll cost me anything considering free card

Maybe also get some other vaccines too like there’s probs some I need to update & I’m so much better w needles after phobia therapy

Also hoping I can get appointment for phobia therapy for blood bc I need that for whenever I get top surgery & just in general it would be neat to not get unreasonably dizzy & such from wounds and blood ya kno

Also goddammit I hope I can get new ADHD meds soon bc unmedicated is a struggle espesh rn w studying & living by myself

And I need to get physical therapy appointments n such bc I had terrible scoliosis pains today and had to leave early since I couldn’t concentrate and I had to take tramadol to help w it >://

Also apparently some of the ppl there can refer patients to X-rays & MRIs and whatnot which!! Ohohoho I’d love that like maybe what’s wrong w my joints is visible on something like that? Or maybe since they know stuff like this they’ll be able to deduce what I need

Anyways

Also hope financial support stuff happens quick bc my farmor wants a visit & I can’t afford the bus/train rn ://

My step-grandma also wants a visit but she doesn’t know I’m trans & with all the stress currently idk how I’ll deal w being dead-named & such by someone I care about

Will have to talk to dad about that since he sent the message about them wanting visits

Also my cousin who’s also trans about our step-grandma

Hhh many thoughts

I’m gonna try to do my programming practice tmrw & maybe make some fun Rube Goldberg machine(s) bc that was so much fun in class

[blueiight]

have you seen this. thought you might appreciate it

https://www.instagram.com/p/CqTLZ_iLYox/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

i have not seen it until u sent it to me. thank u for sending! i find it to be fascinating. i always thought the fan culture around jonathan majors to be somewhat troubling & tangled with some the erotic stereotypes of black men in pop. culture. majors’s fandom was as nonblack as it was black, unlike cosby & kelly whos fandoms was predominately comprised of black people all over the world, in part due to the fact that majors reinforced a lot of sexual stereotypes nonblack + some black ppl have around black men. fit, oiled down, u barely saw his face u mostly seen his swole body. the fantasy his marketing team sold was the hypermasc big black guy was ‘gentle’ for an audience.. u have to wonder if these same people would have found him so attractive if he had the same exact face but was physically built any other way. ppl on twitter actually posted his pics when he was skinny + the response was creative levels of delusion writing about how he was ‘starving’ ‘struggling’ n the like. and the pic where he was skinny was at a hollywood event! all bc he wasnt on creatine same exact person same face the same ‘sex symbol’ became hideous/a symbol of struggle.. bc ppl found majors’s body attractive, erotic, sexy, ppl associated his attractiveness with his morality/how he would act. thats why ppl r asserting now that he was ‘always ugly’, bc somehow the cruelty + abusive behaviors u do has any relationship to how u look? that post is really strong in how it ends. what do the gp do when the container for erotic desires is shattered indeed, when the fantasy of idolatry is shattered again. and again. and again.

[kelcikrokks]

#jesus #love #holyspirit #peace PART 2 The Holy Spirit is ALWAYS with you. Not sometimes or rarely. Always & Forever! The Holy Spirit TEACHES you. The HS will reveal things while you study God’s Word. It’s called Illumination. The Holy Spirit also reminds you of things that you once learned. The Holy Spirit gives you PEACE. The Holy Spirit points to Jesus. The HS is not to make you look like a SUPER Christian. He was not sent to Earth to draw attention to you. He brings attention to Jesus. True acts of the Holy Spirit brings attention to JESUS! The Holy Spirit convicts you of sin. Sometimes Christians will take that role upon themselves. Sadly, it convinced the outside world that Christians r judgmental. We should stand up for the Truth. We shouldn’t avoid it. We ALSO will ALWAYS do it in Love. Our goal is for lost ppl to come & FIND Jesus, ALL of them. The Holy Spirit guides you. Think of a GPS. You trust it’s navigation system. In the same way, The Holy Spirit gives you direction. It will let you know where to go. God doesn’t disagree with Himself. He’s not going to tell something that disagrees with the Word. Access to the Holy Spirit is gained through a RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS! That begins with a decision to believe in Him & FOLLOW His commands. You may have already made that choice but you haven’t been listening. Let’s stop what we’re doing & take time to listen today. https://www.instagram.com/p/ColAzSQOnIm/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[trickortpwk]

My friend sent me a red carpet pic of Harry from the Grammys and said why did they invite a court jester 😭😭 why does he wanna embarrass me so bad

well i woke up to my sister sending me an article about the "ppl like me" line this morning 🙃 it has reached the gp

[ship-and-let-ship]

Don't mind me, just having a major panic attack & getting sent from work 2 hours early cus my dog's GPS tracker had him standing still in the middle of a busy street & the ppl who were supposed to be watching him weren't picking up their god damn fucking phones. 🙃

On his fucking birthday.

Don't mind me, just having a minor panic attack because today is my dog's 5th birthday & his life is already 1/3 of the way over.

[cliveguy]

mental healthcare in this country is so so bad, especially if ur trans, i don't think a lot of ppl frm other countries understand just how awful it is tbh

[25-worms-in-a-trenchcoat]

i am once again asking for doctors to take me seriously for once im my fucking life i promise it is not that fucking difficult

[fkinavocado]

No wonder she sent away her kids on the morning then. This is just horrible. I mean the mfasr video is a good distraction but not good enough

and she called the paps too like look i'm not just abandoning them ☠️ i swear it's not enough at this point. like ppl are genuinely laughing at him. his own fans are laughing at him i can only imagine what the gp is thinking