#ppl have to understand the GRAVITY!!!!! how heavy and scary things are for daisuke but also

[dnangelic]

RAAAAAGH i just said this all to lain but the thing i love about daisuke is that even in canon with his confessions about being dark, it isn't JUST ever his fears over being rejected or hated. he's also deeply empathetic enough that he's always afraid of hurting OTHERS if the fact he's ever lying comes to light. it's never just please don't hurt me if you find out, there's always just as much please don't let me hurt them if they find out in his heart and his mind. he's NOT as 'pure' as people misjudge him as all the time. he's NOT entirely innocent, he's NOT sinless, why else would he have black wings? he hates disappointing people, but between himself and dark, he's still the habitual liar--- his feelings for others, his love and care is sincere, but the curse forces him to obfuscate those and turns him into a liar.

it is always, without question, 100% an immutable truth that daisuke is an extremely high profile criminal, (if not a bizarre existence that "shouldn't" exist in his canon/mundane human world,) and this is why he worries so often that he might be taking advantage of or unjustly fooling/manipulating people who treat him kindly and who aren't aware of the very fact that he's either a non-human-ish freak or a criminal. it's so easy to call him a coward or a traitor because on some levels he always ends up being one- he can't say any of the most important things to even the people he cares the most about (especially the people he cares the most about,) they usually have to be wrung out or openly witnessed of him, and this is why he always says that people can hate him if they catch him turning into dark! yeah, he was lying to you the whole time! no, it wasn't out of malice; he wasn't tricking anyone for the sake of ulterior motive or for the sheer sake of it, but he still was lying and he still was hiding and tricking!

dai agonizes constantly over his own unintended betrayals, but he also recognizes that even just as a criminal, associating with him really does end up carrying some level of danger with it too, and his moral sense is usually too strong to let anybody else get involved with that side of him (assuming the other person isn't also a criminal or at least someone that can handle themselves in dai's opinion) but at the same time, all of this continues to leave daisuke (and by extension ofc dark-) isolated and deeply alone!! he's scared so he doesn't talk to anybody! he worries about others so he doesn't talk to anybody, but in doing so he does end up abandoning himself! it doesn't matter that he's got a phantom of the opera heart; one that can hold all of the world, it's still pitch dark and empty!! there's no one and nothing in it except for himself!