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tottymatsuno · 3 years ago

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In The Peach Pit; Saw You Fake It (Osomatsu-San: Todomatsu x Reader)

Chapter 4: Who's Kids Are These?!

Alt Title: You got games on your phone?

Author: Roro (tottytown)

Fandom: Osomatsu-san

Pairing: Todomatsu x reader

Category: Romance, technically exes? enemies to friends to lovers, coworkers, fake dating, tsundere Todomatsu, eventual bedsharing, eventual fake strangers

Rating: PG-13 (cussin)

Summary: You and Totty establish your parenting dynamic right off the ba t with a bunch of lost children.

Word count: 5800/prob 50 or 60k unedited and segmented away

Warnings: Todomatsu is still mentally ill LOL. Also sorry if u dont like or want kids i am a father who loves children so my y/n's usually do too. sorry.

commentary: trying a new opening format by leaving a lil bit of text. hope ppl like it lol. if somebody can tell me how can i upload fics w/o having to fix the automatic double space id be so grateful bc rn im spending an hour just fixing that. thank u. i refuse to use tumblr as a fic editor thank u.

Hope has failed. Ryo did have another evaluation, they determined she needed to be demoted for retraining purposes that included not only her hourly wages being sliced nearly in half but also her shifts throttled. Their reasoning for such a judgment was she didn't make customers feel welcomed enough despite being beloved by regulars. She also didn't take care of scheduling for the second shift well enough despite that never being her job because she’s the manager of the first shift. “Why are we paying you to only manage yourself and one other person? Can’t you take a pay cut?”

It was bullshit!!

A few shifts later has you and Matsuno trading stink eyes at the new managers during the morning meeting. When everyone files out of the staff room, you signal Matsuno to stay with a nod.

"Can you believe this bs?!" You harshly whisper to Matsuno after the room is empty. You forced yourself to get along with Matsuno for Ryo’s sake but now he’s the only one who will understand your plight since he spent the most time with her.

How is Ryo, the sweetest angel possible going to handle this?! She won’t lose faith in the goodness of humanity, will she?

"Yeah, I know! What the hell, why would they fire Ryoko-san?!" Matsuno whisper-yells back.

"They're trying to kill morale by getting rid of everyone we know and love so we can be the perfect capitalist workerbees!" You glare at the pamphlets for the new company motto. “That means you’ll be the only one left, Matsuno...”

"We can't let them get away with this! Why fire Ryoko-san but leave something like you on staff?" Matsuno goes as far as to rip one up and shove it's pieces in his apron muttering the second sentence underneath his breath.

"What would we even do though?" You wonder aloud, you actually really like the convenience of this job being in walking distance from home. "I don't wanna quit in protest, but I’m not charismatic enough to lead a strike either..."

"Maybe we can use these new rules to our advantage?" Matsuno suggests with a pointed look towards the previously ignored employee handbook. "There's sure to be rules in here that would be hellish to actually follow on a day to day basis but they couldn't fire us for doing what it says to the letter."

You look at Matsuno with a sinister leer, "Matsuno, I knew I could trust you to come up with an annoyingly evil scheme. What you lack in earnest charm you definitely make up in malice."

You ignore whatever the hell Matsuno said in retaliation while shooting Ryo an apologetic line message. She responds with a boatload of crying stickers and vents through a barrage of incoming emotional texts.

"Ryo...!" You sniffle in support, "Oh, Ryo! I didn't know your favorite candy line was being ended too, plus your boyfriend ate your good leftovers?! On your period as if to rub salt in your open wounds?" You rubbed your tearful eyes while reading these text messages. Maybe it’s because you know she’s so kind and was there for you in your hour of need but you really want to be a pillar for Ryo.

You send a few texts opening your heart to Ryo as well, but you make sure to let her know that you 100% love and cherish your her as your friend. You finally tell her you'll talk later after planning a friendship date outside of work. You're happy that Ryo is going to transition into a friend-friend instead of work-friend!

While being caught up in the emotional roller-coaster you don't stop for a second to see if Matsuno is still around. So it's shocking to hear him ask, "You done?" with a glance of eye contact between you and his phone. "Gimme a sec, I didn't think you'd finish crying for a while." You take a mental snapshot of Matsuno's casual posture, it's a very good image of his slightly disinterested look while leveraging half of his weight with one hand placed on a table. Like maybe a sexy librarian or professor giving a lecture? You don't know, but it's a neat pose.

"Click." You say out loud. "That one's going in the cringe comp." Memes irl can be funny sometimes, but this one is directed at your own thoughts instead of being an insult.

"What do you mean cringe comp?! I should be saying that about you!" There's Matsuno's claws. How catty. Matsuno shoves his phone into his apron before stomping off.

Well now that you think about it you really need to start work today. Everyone came in about an hour and a half earlier than usual to prep for another large event. This one is for a new but promising shounen title by that one guy who was an assistant for that other super popular dude's series. You really don't know but you'll still sell it with a smile.

In fact one of your favorite aspects of working at this bookstore is having to add little series related flares to your uniform. All the women got cute flower petal bunny ears, but the dudes are supposed to wear these really cool but extremely cheaply made neon yellow wind breakers with an intricate rose pattern and an original emblem on the breast and back.

You were jealous of the wind breaker to say the least.

In your spare time you skim the new handbook; there's a lots of rules that either conflict or as Matsuno said would be hellish to follow on a daily basis. It's clear that whoever wrote these down has never worked in a bookstore before, or even HR. Hell, some of these rules read as if they were made up arbitrarily by someone who has actually never worked a day in his life and is trying to fake sounding like he has getting by on what he kinda knows. It's pathetic.

So it's time to be obnoxiously compliant with these dumbass rules!

Every time a new manager tries to wrangle you into actually participating in preparation for this vastly busy event you remind them of daily duties that must 100% get taken care of. Who is going to call the people with back orders before 11 am if not you? Or who will do five rounds of putting misplaced books back up at least once an hour?

"Excuse me..." A little voice calls out from below when you're on round four in the cook book section. Do your ears deceive you, or is that a talking infant?

When you look down your suspicions are confirmed. "Ah, yes sir?" You ask with a few books in arm. Babies love to be treated like grown ups you've found. You’re already smiling, look at those fat cheeks. You need to give this child a free book, he looks like a The Very Hungry Catepillar sort.

"I need to go." Go?

"Home or potty?" The child starts tearing up, "Both! My mommy is lost and I need to find her after I pee! She's scared somewhere without me." You nod in sympathy, he can’t find his Mommy if he has to take a whiz.

"Okay, let's go potty first then find your mommy. I'm sure she's terrified here all by herself without you to protect her." You carefully place the stack to be dealt with later.

Right when you take the small boy's hand you hear a loud wail of another larva nearby.

"A little kid's in trouble!" You hear the tiny boy exclaim before leading him to the clearing where there stands an even smaller baby girl with one of the event balloons and bunny ears. She's trying to call out for her older sister but can't get the words out.

"Oh... Little miss, are you okay?" You ask with a slight headache forming but you have infinite patience for this kinda stressful situation. Kids are cute. You can handle this!

Your maternal instincts kick into full gear with the children in tow but after finding the 8th child lost around the boring adult sections and nowhere near the fun child friendly event on the first floor you're ready to curse some guardians out.

Who’s losing all these little kittens all over the place? Why was this one in the DIY section?!

When you finally manage to grab the 9th lost child and make it down the escalator without anyone tripping, while holding two of the tiniest ones in your arms you feel totally done for the day. Ah, there's the 10th. You manage to find the little girl's older sister who is barely any older!

"If you're lost follow me." You call while at a dragging pace with a gaggle of kids from all ages. A few of them hold hands in a baby daisy chain. There's even a twelve year old who claims he just needed to go to the bathroom but you know he’s either probably lost too or is trying to help in his own way.

So with an elementary school in tow you only have one choice which is to bother the person you know is on break. Everyone loves kids, so this might get the stick outta Matsuno's ass for once. A pitched scream scares the shit outta you for a split second and rattles your ear drums.

“C’mon now, if you’re gonna yell don’t do it so loud. There’s old people around who’s head’s will knock clean off from you breaking the sound barrier.”

Kids can be loud, huh. When you approach the cafe while the baby's take turns pulling on your hair or trying to eat it seeing Matsuno head towards the break room is a godsend.

"The potty's around that corner, Taka-kun take the boys who need to go." You direct to the twelve year old with your foot.

"I don't wanna though!" Alright.

"Eh... Wha...what's going on here? What's with all the kids?" Matsuno finally picks his jaw off the floor when you start bribing Taka-kun with the promise of a limited edition fan edition mystery box for whatever the hell MagiDigi Chronicals is.

"You drive a hard bargain, but sure you can get a cookie too." You sigh when Taka-kun goes "and a coffee!"

"Decaf only but now go!!" You gently kick after Taka-kun so tiny Nao-chan can go pee, the poor baby was just about to start the potty dance for heaven's sake. Taka-kun finally takes the other three boys around the corner. "If you make a mess the deals off!" You call out.

Matsuno is trying to also prevent the damage done by these kids but unfortunately most of them are under the age of five. "Hey wait a second! You have to pay for those!" Matsuno calls out as one of the smaller ones opens a bag of chips. Of course the other little grubby hands with no concept of money or theft join in.

"Can you do something about this -!?" Matsuno shrilly asks. You've got a handful because the two babies have now begun to alternate between pulling your hair and trying to bite your cheeks. "Please stop, I know you're not teething anymore." Too little!! You know they aren't teething anymore because when they pull your ears they try to bite them you feel teeth. It hurts like hell but goodness are these gross little demons too much!

"Why are you even still smiling?! Don't tell me you find this cute?"

You tilt your head away from the biting baby right into the blubbering cheek of the other one trying to gurgle words. "Noo, of course not." You lie. Babies are super disgusting but are incredibly cute. These two can barely waddle, how the hell did they get lost?! Shouldn't they be in a rollers?

If your upper body wasn't so used to carrying shit you could see how these less than 14 month olds could escape easily. The babies are barely walking, let alone running. Well maybe not. Their little strong legs are having so much fun kicking you in the ribs since they really want to be put down. There's the beginnings of whining too. They might need their diapers changed but your store doesn’t carry any.

"Aw... Haha, no my little ones. Let's not get fussy please, if you get fuss-fuss I'm gonna eat your lil fingies." You make one of those gentle chomping gestures back and forth to the now giggling and adorable maggots. "Yummy yummy, I love baby toes!"

You look up with a grin to see Matsuno glaring at you with the foulest look of disgust. It nearly knocks the wind outta you.

"Anyways go call their parents, I'll stay here." Get out, asshole. You're killing the vibe here. You're about to start kissing these little ones and you will not be judged for it. A few of the other children grab your attention to let you know they're hungry.

Matsuno sighs deeply before turning to dial the front office. "Everyone gets a little piece of a cookie! Understand?" You announce to the remaining kids. There's a small chorus of affirmation. How cute you think blissfully.

"It's too early to have a whole cookie, the sugar will make your gross lil tummies ache. You don't want a tummy ache, right?"

"But I can eat a whole cookie!" Says an older girl. "Me too!!" Joins another.

"Those cookies are too big even I can't eat a whole one because they're made for people with giant iron stomachs, but you both can have half of one, okay? A whole cookie at your size will melt your guts through your ear holes." You're more worried about how hyper these kids already are, as much as you hate their parents for losing them you can't in good conscience release them hyped up on sugar.

Both Taka-kun and Matsuno return at the same time. "Serve them snacks, Matsuno." The way you disdainfully regard Matsuno versus the children almost gives the babies whiplash.

"Why should I? Also who's going to pay for it?"

What an asshole. "Because they have been so well behaved." You answer while the children agree and whisper that you really are as nice as you seem.

"In what universe?! Besides we can't give this much away for free!" Matsuno protests.

"I'll pay. Feed the angels or else." Your threat seems to work in your popularity's favor. There's what sounds like a few high pitched cackling and your demon hoard of small children smile at Matsuno as menacingly as their cute little faces can conjure. So adorable!! You should become a gang leader!

After every had an age appropriate sized cup of juice, a small portion of a cookie or cupcake and were seemingly satisfied save for Taka-kun who smugly sipped a decaf iced coffee with a whole cookie to himself the guardians all finally gathered to pick up their children.

The grandparents of one of the babies came to grab her first which is not nice. You’re not ready yet! You couldn't help but defensively turn away despite the baby cooing happily at her grandma with reaching hands. The baby even gets out the words 'hi gramma' it's too cute, you won't hand her over!

"Y/n, give the baby back." Matsuno tells you clearly exasperated. "I was going to, shut up." While you're distracted the other baby is plucked from your arms. You swivel to see who betrayed you. It's a very young looking couple smothering the baby boy's fat little cheeks. The baby girl is also taken from you during this moment of hurt.

"Ah, thank you so much!" The grandmother gives you a knowing look. "You seem to be fond of kids."

“Yeah, babies are so gross and ugly.” You tell her with a huge grin. You love them.

"You should have your own before it's too late."

"Haha, no. Yuck." You laugh a bit awkwardly, "I'm not ready for that yet." You don't know how you'd handle the parasite phase of the infant's unborn life, let alone the blowouts and spittle period. Around a year old is when they reach their minimum level of being tolerable.

"I see." The grandma smiles at you while the baby waves bye bye.

There's a lot of commotion with some parents scolding or crying since their poor baby got lost at an event that was supposed to be fun! Management offers them deals on future purchases for their troubles and promise the event will be organized better despite this really not being the store's fault. The event was supposed to just be starting but all of these kids got lost on the second floor before it even began.

There's a few smiling waves from the kids, a couple shouts of bye but some of them are too distracted by their parents to say anything to you. You stand there with a dumb smile while waving back. Most of them are going to the event so that's fun.

"Taka-kun, that guy can get you the mystery box." You point out the stout manager who's name you don't remember. "Thanks, see you then." Taka-kun leaves to pester that tubby bald guy.

A moment of peace. Just one. That's all you're allowed before Matsuno tugs on your already abused ear. "Ew, why's it wet?!"

"They were at that shark age of babyhood." You say fondly. Matsuno rudely untucks your shirt to wipe his fingers on it. "I literally have no clue what that's supposed to mean." To be honest you don't even notice your shirt.

"Too young to speak so they have to communicate and learn with their small mouths. Basically they like to bite like how sharks do."

Matsuno sighs before turning to the mess that is now the cafe. "So two things are about to happen here." He says harshly.

"They were all so liiittle." You mumble not really in response. "So itty bitty, just absolutely pocket sized. I should have eaten one for dinner."

"Shut up weirdo and listen! First of all you're going to pay for those snacks, and then you're gonna help me clean this shit up before people start coming from that stupid event."

"Alright, thanks for going easy on me." You do a small salute. After paying for the eight cookies, the five bottles of juice, a couple bags of chips and one decaf coffee your wallet is a little lighter but it's okay! The smiles of sweet baby demonspawn are priceless to you.

Each time Matsuno punched in a button on the register he smacked his lips at you in annoyance.

It isn't until you're handed a broom that Matsuno finally tells you how upset he actually is. "I like kids too, but you really fucked me over with bringing them here." He half whines-half grumbles.

"Couldn't you have taken them straight to the office or something? This was my valuable break time!" Matsuno does sound very sympathetic right now as he scrubs off the dried juice from the tables.

"Some of them needed to pee." You say simply while dusting up the many spilled chips.

"There's a bathroom by the customer service area, it's like you just wanted to ruin my day!"

You think for a moment before attempting reply again. "You think so?" You guess you could see it that way, but kids are so cute.

"Why else would you bring a million brats into here when I was supposed to take my break?!" Matsuno begins to pick up the cups and bottles of juice along with the stray cookie stained napkins that littered the floor.

Hmmm. You had a reason but now it feels silly to say out loud. "I guess I thought you might wanna help them with me? I thought you might like seeing them. Plus I really wanted someone else to see how cute and polite they were. They were soo well behaved, weren't they?"

Matsuno sighs when you are finally done sweeping and switch to mopping the sticky floors. "You must really like kids."

You mod dreamily, "One of my life goals is to be a wicked stepmother. Cinderella style."

"Give that up then." Matsuno spits out rudely. "You'll spoil her until she's ugly inside and out."

You gasp, "No I wouldn't! I would be a great evil stepmom!" You have a plan and system you'd follow.

"Yeah? I just saw otherwise. You have no backbone when it comes to cute stuff at all. In fact you're all talk and no action." Matsuno is so rude.

"Okay, well that's just not true. I have a lotta evil schemes to ruin my step kids lives." Matsuno snorts at your confidence.

"Like what?"

Like what?! "I'm gonna bite them!" You say triumphantly, "Yeah while they're babies. Gonna yum-yum on their widdle toes or whatever. Gross." Matsuno instantly sees through you.

"I'll call them embarrassing nicknames and tease them in front of their friends."

"Like what, baby? Cutie pie? That's just being affectionate." You glare at him.

"Well, I'll hold their hand when crossing the street even though they can do it by themselves!" Matsuno sighs.

"That's being affectionate and responsible."

"I'll pack their lunch with a bunch of vegetables and only ONE snack."

"With a note saying how much you love them, too? Once again just affectionate and responsible."

You are losing this battle quickly. "I'll hug them everyday!"

"Are you giving up? That's just being a loving mother!"

"And kiss their cheeks too." You add, grumbling. "And we can go out to lunch at the park on weekends, and I can help them with their homework and we can do chores around the house together and if they're very good I'll get them a puppy."

"Those are all just being a loving mother, dumbass! Where's the wicked part supposed to come from?!" Matsuno shouts and you feel just an iota of silly.

"My household rules will be strict. An allowance should be earned by doing chores and not just freely given." This makes Matsuno flinch.

"Th... That actually is evil. Don't do that. Kids need money too, they shouldn't have to earn it."

Aha!

"And they should help cook dinners when they're old enough! I want my kids to take over the gross chores when I get older so I won't have to anymore. Like taking out the trash and scrubbing the toilet. After age twelve I never want to wash a dish again in my life."

Watching Matsuno recoil from you like the first time you met is very satisfying.

"That's going too far! Being a kid is stressful enough without having to do housework too. Think of the kids, they have their own lives too live!"

You blink at him, "Someone has to do it though. You don't have your mom still cleaning up after you at this age so why shouldn't you start teaching them when they're kids?"

Studying Matsuno's face changing when you said his mother doesn't clean up after him anymore is a struggle. "You don't still... Do you?" You ask with disgust.

"Hahaha! My break is over, let's finish this conversation later! You still have a while before yours right? I’ll make you a latte on the house! So yeah, see you then." Matsuno all but physically boots you out of the cafe.

You kinda take it easy despite the event. Your bunny ears have long been knocked off by babies, and you still wanna wear the windbreaker. Matsuno's looked really cool up close too.

For a brief second you and Matsuno were publicly thanked in front of the crowd for rounding up the many lost kids. After that you went on to follow more of the stupid rules to an obnoxious point. Then you were on the register pretty much until the end of the day.

You wanted to eat and take your break, but it seems like the kids who stayed all wanted to be checked out in your line. Lots of babbling of summaries from the event even though most of it is too nonsensical to follow. You animatedly try to keep up as their guardians thank you for your patience. After they were served, the lines became full of adults and older teens who bought a buncha limited edition merch.

It's always a bit awkward having to listen to guys info dump about a new series for the first time, but thankfully it comes in handy after hearing the same information over and over. It makes the discussions you are mandated to partake in go by faster as you check them out. It's also fun when housewives come in and do the same thing because you get to see which hotties are getting popular.

At the end of the shift you're called into the staff room where Matsuno is also waiting. Matsuno has a strangely fake smile but his eyes are aggressively staring down the new store manager.

"Ah! There you are, zansu. Me was just telling Osomatsu-kun how thankful Akatsuka Reads is for your help finding the brats - me means precious angels during today's event, zansu." This guy has a funny voice. He's a real character. Big overbite too.

"I'm Todomatsu." Matsuno corrects with an even darker glare.

"It doesn't matter, you're all the same." The manager says. Huh. Wonder what that means.

"So anyways, me was thinking of a way to thank you both! How about a coupon for free oden, zansu?" Right as you were taking your coupon, Matsuno starts shouting.

"Why would I want that, Iyami?! I can eat at Chibita's any time!"

"Can't you be more professional like her, Osomatsu?" Iyami tch's disparagingly at Matsuno.

"Yeah, be grateful." You add in teasingly with a playful grin. "Osomaru?" You look back up at Iyami who nods that you got it close enough.

"Osotaro." You repeat even more incorrectly than before with a fun impish smirk.

"I'm Todomatsu - also you don't get to join in! You don't even know this guy so take my side!"

"Where's the stall located at?" You ignore Matsuno to look at the handwritten coupon, it expires very quickly and only includes one serving of oden and no drinks.

"Me can show you after this, zansu." The way Iyami offers that creeps you out thoroughly. He even tries to get in your personal space which isn't a good thing. After stepping back around fifty feet you look over at Matsuno with a look that might not outrightly beg for assistance but hopefully he understands from the amount of time you've worked together.

Matsuno glares at you before nodding. "Alright, I'll go too."

"You're not invited, zansu." Iyami starts shooing Matsuno off.

"Oh, that's too bad then. Matsuno and I had agreed to get food after this since we both missed our breaks. Let's go, Matsuno." Yes, the perfect out! You lie amazingly convincing, so now your weird manager doesn't know you're avoiding going out with him. Matsuno childishly sticks his tongue out at Iyami as you walk away. He even tries to grab your arm for a second to make Iyami jealous but you hip bump nearly to the floor.

You grab your shit from your locker while Matsuno does the same. You both exchange looks before exiting the store.

When you break into a jog you hear Matsuno scream wait behind you which causes you to stop in your tracks.

"That wasn't a we make a run for it look, that was a play it cool look!! Jeeze, it's like you don't know anything!" Matsuno shouts while running to catch up. "Why are you so fast anyways?! Shouldn't you be training for the Olympics?"

"Ah, sorry Matsuno. I'm not fluent in telepathy yet." You're a bit distracted by how fucking cool that cheap piece of shit windbreaker looks in natural lighting.

When Matsuno catches back up he notices you staring him down. "Ugh, gross. Stop staring at my body." He even attempts to cover himself up.

"I wasn't, I just really want that." You could beat him up for it. You bet he's the type who might not actually call the police if you bully him.

"Want what?!"

"Your jacket." When you say this, Matsuno looks down at the windbreaker. "Oh, this? Yeah, here take it. This is more Jyushimatsu-niisan's style anyways. I would've preferred it in pink."

Your eyes sparkle, "You mean it?"

"Yeah, I only wore it at work. It's really badly made so don't expect it to last." Matsuno takes off the jacket and hands it to you. You're a bit suspicious because it's probably gonna give you a headache knowing how Matsuno drenches himself in perfume.

You sniff it just to be sure which causes Matsuno to scream." Wh-what are you doing?! Why are you smelling it?!"

You keep rotating it around to examine if there's any offensive odors or alcohol scents. Instead there's the smell of cheap plastic fabric and a light baby powder like freshness to it. This won't give you a headache. You smile before putting it on.

"Uggh... That was so weird... What's wrong with you...?" Matsuno's shivering like he's really creeped out by your actions.

"Y'know I thought it was because I went noseblind to your foul stench, but you don't stink anymore. You actually smell good now, great job." You give him a thumbs up of approval.

Something about your words makes Matsuno's cheeks light up. "Hehe, you think? I changed to Powdered Daydream by - wait! I mean of course I don't stink! I've never smelled bad to begin with!"

You wait for Matsuno to finish, "So what now?" Because you are hungry. Like super hungry. "I'm going home." Matsuno says defiantly.

"Okay, cool." You unfortunately have to still drop off Matsuno. A few weeks back you realized if you left him by himself to get home Matsuno would get hopelessly lost around the third street turn. He doesn't even have your line or number so he just yelled at you that he could've died the next day. You get the feeling he's the type of person who in high school would get lost on a route he went on twice a day for all three years if he weren't holding someone's hand. A child basically.

This is awkward, you think walking super slowly so Matsuno could keep up. He's still pouting which is normal but usually there would be at least something to argue about.

There's gotta be something to talk about at the very least, right? You think back to work today, there has to be something to go over but a lot happened and you don't really know where to start. You kinda wish you could have seen Daisuke today but he was pretty much hosting the entire event.

"So about work?" You start off, please have a jumping off point. Matsuno, please understand you can't stand weird dead air.

"I can't believe our new managers! Did you know that from now on I literally have to - with each drink, mind you try to get the customers to sign up for a rewards card? It doesn't even offer actual rewards by the way! You get nothing for having it other than a keychain! Imagine having to explain all fucking day, 'no you don't get a free coffee or any discounts. The reward is us selling your data and this shitty clearly cheaply mass produced keychain. Enjoy.' with a smile?! I want to kill myself every time!"

Matsuno's animated rant makes you laugh a little. "Dude that sucks. My new thing is I'm not supposed to give out discounts or accept returns without another guy's code. Then they get upset at me for not having said code and making him come over. Also I'm apparently underselling the books worth by taking the discounts they put out online in the newsletter?"

Matsuno glares straight ahead,"You should start pretending that the register is malfunctioning and let code guy do cashiering for you. Or say you don't know how."

"I don't think that'd work. Also remember this landmark." You say pointing at a recycling bin.

"What landmark?" Matsuno asks. "That one." You wiggle your finger, "The blue thingy."

"The recycling?" You nod.

"That one is always overfilled so if you see it you know you only have to take a left at the second block over and then walk til you see the fat cat sticker on the car bumper. After the fat cat you go straight til you see the wind chimes and then you're at the station."

Matsuno stares at you slackjawed. "What?"

"Those the directions to get to F station. Don't worry, I'll point them out as we go so you can remember them later." Your contacts are a bit itchy, plus you kinda wanted that oden but you won't chance running into Iyami. You'll drop Matsuno off then eat.

"Uh. Okay, thanks?"

Oh yeah, Matsuno seemed very familiar with that guy. You should be nosy and ask about it.

"So you must know Iyami pretty well outside of work?"

Matsuno grits his teeth, "Don't ask me that."

You won't press then.

"He's a shitty hobo bum who's always trying to ruin my life! It's a tie between him and my bastard older brothers who make life a living hell everyday! It's like I'll never obtain happiness being associated with such vile monsters but I just can't escape them either! Everywhere I go one of them finds me and fucks everything up."

So even though you did not press further here you are three minutes deep into a vent session. You kinda didn't sign up for this rant. "That sucks." You say again, maybe you'll hit him with another damn that's crazy next.

"It does suck!! Iyami got us hired at a sweatshop and it was the worst experience of my life!"

"Damn, that's crazy." You have no clue what the fuck Matsuno is talking about. "How many brothers do you have anyways?" Let's just be polite.

"Five! Five horrible older brothers! Well, actually four since Jyushimatsu-niisan is usually decent. The other ones are all garbage!"

You nod in agreement, "Yeah I'm sure they're the worst." When you say this Matsuno looks at you with stars in his eyes, "You agree?!"

"Yeah, I mean if someone as awful as you thinks these guys are bad they must be intolerable for normal people."

The stars burn out one by one. You wonder why since you tried to make it obvious that you were joking.

"Was that too dry of delivery?" You ask.

You get the silent treatment the rest of the walk to the station with Matsuno ignoring your landmarks. He doesn't look up from his phone again until he's out of sight.

#matsuno todomatsu x reader #totty x reader #todomatsu/reader #osomatsu san #osomatsu san x reader #unedited again bc my baby is about to come home and i dont have the time #roros fics #todomatsu x reader #todomatsu matsuno x reader #peachpit fic #ppf c4

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