#pov me waffling in essays

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S pt 5

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to help him

notes - NOT PROOF READ, lowercase intention smut near the end, aftercare cus thats what matt specializes in, cuddles

a/n - uhm idk if yalls could tell, or if u knew but i’m a virgin and have never kissed anyone so 🫣

leave some suggestions for chris or matt fics for me to write pls as well :3

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present day a few days after their second study session

y/n pov

matt s 🐼

hey message me when ur leaving ur house. 8:46

btw we r ordering food to the house cus i dont wanna get gas. 8:47

text me what u want from CFA. 8:47

you

what in the flying fuck is CFA? 8:49

matt s 🐼

uhm hello? kid, how do u not know what CFA is???? 8:49

you

abbreviations like this is what's wrong with our generation… 8:50

matt s 🐼

kay ur so weird omfg. 5:50

CFA clearly means chick-fil-a smartass 🙄. 8:51

you

oh well then 😋. nuggets and waffle fries please 🛐🛐. 8:52

and sunjoy btww. 8:52

matt s 🐼

ew u like sunjoy? 8:53

you

u like rootbear don’t talk to me ✋. 8:52

and let me in pls im already outside :). 8:52

read at 8:52

i sling my bag over my shoulder and leave my car, waiting outside the large house with thrilling anticipation as i wait for matt to open the door. I see the fluff of his brown locks and a sweater similar to the one i’ve seen him wear before at school. i dont know why i get giddy when i see him, i dont know how we went to only speaking when madi was around too greeting each other whenever we see each other in the halls or cafe or even in our shared classes.

matt and his brothers were some of my closest friends now, after madi introduced me to them at a party, both of us got insanely drunk and made me call off crazy drinking ever since. all i remember from that night was the way matt took care of me while i was in a very vulnerable state and didn’t take advantage of me. i haven’t told anyone but madi about what happened to me when i was younger, and i’m glad she’s still taken her promise to heart, the only thing that telling her about my past shit did was make her and i closer.

i see matt in full view after he opens the door, “hey!” i say with a cheery expression despite how late it was for me.

“heyyy, thanks for coming by the way, even though you had a shift earlier.” he says sheepishly, before i left for work he messaged me begging to have another study session because he had more questions about the essay part of the exam. “oh hey lemme put your stuff in my room, just chill on the couch before the food gets here.” i pass him my backpack and laptop as he begins to walk down a hallway to make it to his room.

i move through the small entryway and become more apparent in his brothers view, “heyy y/n” nick says moving up to me for a hug, i take in his embrace.

“hi nick!!” i say excitedly. other than matt, ive hung out with nick a lot too, madi always has him over at her apartment, and even the three of us have made it a plan to meet up at our favourite bakery and talk for however long we want too a couple times a week. out of the little over a month i’ve know the triplets, nick has made a huge impact on me, and i felt safe around him, as well as chris and matt.

he lets go of me while i walk over to a slumped over chris on the couch, when he realised i was here he sits up on the edge of the couch. “sup chris,” i dap him up doing a little bro half hug with him.

“always nice to see you y/n,” he says as our arms unfold from the middle of us. i take a seat next to him with a comfortable amount of distance between us. matt returns not too long after i greet everyone. He sits down between chris and i and nick returns from the kitchen with a pepsi, root beer, bottled water and a lemonade, passing out everyone's drink knowing what each of us would ask for. matt and i give nick a thank you as he nods his head after.

nick stationed himself on the elongated part of the couch settling in with his fluffy blanket, he puts on a stranger thing episode and we all sit watching the tv. it only takes another five minutes of the episode for the doorbell to ring through the house. nick gets up immediately scurrying to the door with his fluffy blanket wrapped around him as he talks to the delivery man, thanking him and making small steps to see the rest of us. he comes back with two large bags of food planting them on the coffee table in front of all of us, before grabbing a tray of drinks after going back to the entrance.

“thank you for paying matty,” chris says, rubbing up again his brother with his lips pursed and now shoulder to shoulder with his older brother. i giggle at the sight, copying chris.

“mmmmh thanks mattyyyy” i say resting my head on the peak of his shoulder, pursing my lips as well and copying chris’ weird voice.

“you’re a fucking weirdo chris,” matt says in a disgusted voice flicking the other head that was very close to his face. “and you're welcome y/n.”

i laugh at chris’ overly dramatic reaction to what matt did to him. still giggling a bit at the sight of matt completely ignoring his brothers reaction, I say “just tell me how much i own you.”

“eh, don’t worry about it, it’s on me, plus save up for that new laptop you were talking about. i know how much you want it,” i blush slightly.

“aww thank you then,” i wrap my arms around him and squeeze him, he hands me the food that i asked for and retract back onto the couch.

“by the way, what time are we planning to stay up till? i told madi that i’ll tell her when i was heading home.” i saw looking at matt.

“well its kinda late so if you wanna stay in the guest room, im fine with that.” matt says, moving his head towards me, then breaking eye contact with the tv screen.

“im ay okay with that if you wanna stay over! plus you know your way around the house,” nick says giving his approval to matts idea of staying over.

“mhm im chill with it,” chris simply says.

“uhh yeah then, i'm down, thanks!”

we eat then say goodnight to nick and chris before we go to matt's room for some studying.

i lay down onto his bed as he walks over to his bathroom to change into some comfier clothes. while hes in there i start to think about our first study session when i found out matt had a crush on me. i thought it was very cute, but it made matt awkward on our last study night. i’m glad that he's eased up now, i just acted like i didn’t know anything and didn’t want to push on how he was feeling because I knew it would make his anxiety worse.

i come back to my senses seeing matt reappear from the bathroom door. we stayed on track for studying for an hour and a half before we eventually put on brooklyn 99 on in the background and talked.

“so, the retake is in a couple days, you think you’re ready?” i was hopeful he would be good by then because tonight felt very productive. I quizzed him on a couple of important ideas while he was playing with a baseball, throwing it up and down in the air. i learnt that he understands stuff better when he is doing something with his hands, it keeps him focused.

“hm, i’m not too sure, maybe another study sesh the day after tomorrow so by friday i’ll have all the stuff we went over fresh in my mind.” the baseball still gets thrown up and falls down in front of his face, with his hand waiting to catch it before it smacks him right on his nose. “thanks again for this,” i hear him catch it one more time before he moves his hand away from his face and looks at me just to the right of him. i'm hovering over him slightly, his eyes glow the brightest in the slight illumination from the lamp we always use when we study.

“yeah of course matt, you're my friend anyways.” our faces mirror each other, his eyes roam my faces while his hand holds the side of my face.

i toss my hair to the side of my head to lean down to kiss matt, he immediately returns the kiss enveloping my bottom lip with his. i moan into his mouth feeling him push me down and dominate me. one of his hands rests on my hip keeping me down as i pull him down with my legs letting him top me. most of his body is pressed down to mine, i lift my hips to give myself some kind of sensation i desperately crave for.

“fuck, i’m sorry are you okay with this?” matt says when he disconnects us.

i cup his chin bringing him a little closer, “i really fucking like you matt, please don’t stop.”

a smirk grows onto his face, “i really fucking like you too, you’re lucky i do.” he becomes more unserious pecking little kisses amoungst my face making a very loud “mwah” sound with each of he presses into my skin.

“matttt” i say through my sour looking face while he shows his affection.

“okay, okay, i’m done. but uh, how about we kiss again, didn’t get a good feel of it the first time.” he says with a knowing smirk on his face. i use my hand to weave through his brunette hair pulling him towards me again, we share a more passionate kiss, with knowing and love rather than lust.

it doesn’t take us long till things got more serious, his lips attach to my neck instantly sucking multiple hickeys into visible spots on my neck, moving down to my collar bone and eventually to the full and plump part of my boob. this is where my dream stopped last week, ive been trying to ignore it for the longest time but being in the moment now after thinking about it in my head makes it feel even more surreal.

his hand sneaks to the bottom of my fresh love shirt that i took from matt’s drawers when i found out i was sleeping here his fingers feel the hem of it. “is it alright if i take your shirt off?” he says with a quiet voice, almost afraid of what i’ll say.

i quickly nod in reply but that doesn’t seem good enough for him.

“words smart ass, i need words.” he says with a little bit of a condescending tone to his love tainted words.

“yes matt, you can take my shirt off too.” i say with a small giggle following after it.

he lifts the fabric to uncover the same white lace bra i was wearing while i slept over at his house by accident. “mh, i’ve been dreaming about this for a while ever since i saw you in it that morning,” he kisses the lace that travels to the small connecting piece of fabric between the two cups of my bra.

“and i know you heard what chris said to me that morning, yet you still acted like nothing was wrong.” he moves his hand to my upper back placing his hand onto my bra strap, “hey, can i take this off?”

“mhm,” my lips sealed trying to conceal my response to the amazing feeling of his hands on my body, he undoes the clip on my back with skill and purpose. the touch of his fingertips grant goosebumps to my skin in a very arousing manner.

he pulls the dainty clothing article off my arms and throws it to the floor benign absolutely amazed by my tits, they weren’t much but it seemed like matt was under a spell, he latched his lips just above my nipple to give me more hickeys, he sucks and soothes repeating this multiple times before he eventually dips down to my nipple, i feel the rush of arousal arching slightly off the bed.

i moan in response to the new sensation, i’m not exactly a virgin, but i haven’t done anything like this in a while, let alone at all for god sake. he massages the other boob, playing with the nipple with his hand the opposite of the one his mouth is very focused on.

he finally comes up for air after a little bit teasing, my thighs rub together and sits up to rip his shirt off to match my level of revealing skin, off goes his sweats as well leaving him in just his boxers, “matt, oh my god” i'm out of breath and very needy.

he continues a trail of kisses down to my clothes pussy, he looks up at me while holding the stretchy waistband of my pants, i give him a vigorous nod knowing what he was asking for.

he slides them completely off leaving me in just my underwear. he plants another sweet kids over my clothed heat which milks another desperate moan from me. “matt wait-“ he immediately comes up from my bottom half and lays beside me listening to me.

“hey we don’t have too if you don’t want too, i’m down if you just wanna go to bed in the other room, or even if you just wanna stay here and cuddle for the rest of the night.” he says before i can go ahead with what i was thinking.

“no, no i really want too it’s just, i haven’t really… done this before.” i tell him, he seems almost fully unaffected by my words.

“that’s fine, i’m here to make you feel good,” he places his hand nearing my core again, he rubs my panties over my clit moving down to feel the very apparent wet spot. “wow i’ve barely touched you and your so worked up,” his voice was sultry with a hint of a condescending tone.

“m-matt please” i struggle to say feeling the pressure he's putting down onto my throbbing clit.

“i’m gonna take these off now, okay?” he says with his fingers wrapped around the thin string of my thong that’s barely covers anything.

he slips them off admiring the sight in front of him, i almost get self conscious wanting to cover myself up with his blankets. his head dips and his hands pant onto my hips and one on my inner thigh. his tongue makes very sudden contact with my clit, he sucks and swirls his tongue around it, feeling the very heavy pressure i arch my back slighting leaning forward into his face.

his finger creeps and teases my hole before he fully plunged it into me. i heavy moan escapes my lips, “quiet now princess, can’t let nick or chris hear you.”

he continues his movements stimulating both my clit and hole at the same time, “more, please” i say with a pleading tone. he removes his finger from inside of me and replaces it with his tongue and mouth. he absolutely devoured my pussy giving me as much pleasure as he could, his mouth moving back to my clip and he slid his finger back into me moving it at a moderate pace.

i don’t try very hard to conceal my very loud moans, as soon as matt enters a second finger into my dripping cunt, i release with a pornographic moan, squeezing his head between my legs. “holy shit matt,” he licks up all of my hot cum and comes back up to kiss me.

“mmh you did so well for me, you ready for me now?” i say a needy yes while he goes back to sit back on the his headboard. he removes his boxers with such haste letting his cock spring out with a bead of pre-cum leaking out. “i wanna watch you ride me, you control the pace and how deep you wanna go.” he whispers into my ear.

he lifts me on top of him, kissing him passionately while i grind down onto his twitching cock. he lets out a guttered groan “okay, let’s do this cause i could bust just from looking at you.”

he lines himself up and holds my hips while i sink down onto him. his so thick and long, i feel him in ever existing crevasse in my cunt. “fuck yes” i say letting out a heavy breath.

“holy shit you’re so tight-“ he says between his monas and hard breathes. i begin to move myself up and down slowly, whatever pain that came at first quickly moved to pleasure as i speed up my movements.

my tits bounce every time i move up or down, my movements are set at a constant pace, “matt, i think- i think i’m gonna cum.” i say, feeling his dick twitch in my pussy again.

“come for me baby, give it to me,” he says, taking me by my love handles and moving me up and down a little faster. i came hearing his words letting out a couple of breathy moans, he follows soon after me. i feel his thick long ropes of cum fill me up and come back down dripping onto his cock.

matt does a couple of slower pumps in and out of me to ride both of us through our highs. he picks me up as if i weigh nothing and puts me down beside him laying down onto the bed.

he goes into the bathroom to retrieve a small cloth and comes back to wipe me down. he does a couple of strips to pick up as much extra cum he could. i feel him hit my clit and i whimper loudly, “oh god, i’m sorry, i know your still sensitive.” once he’s finished he goes into the bathroom and cleans himself up.

fishing his boxers from the ground he slides them on and grabs my underwear and a large t-shirt from his closet. he hops onto the bed putting on my underwear and pulling me up to put on the shirt.

“mh thank you,” i say tired and groggy.

he plants a kiss onto my forehead “anything for you smart ass.”

he comes under the covers and wraps his arms around me, intertwining our legs. we sleep peacefully until the morning

taglist - @westwiing @comet235

[atla-suki]

THE THOUGHTS. they consumed me. i don’t wanna do my english essay so have this instead:

atla hair symbolism (aside from zuko and azula cuz that’s obvious as hell):

toph:

oh my bbygirl!!!!!!! toph’s hair is very subtle, cause it’s generally the exact same style the whole show. EXCEPT it changes from the first time we meet her.

when she’s at home with her parents, her hair is very neat. like HELLA neat:

when she’s at earth rumble VI and after she joins the gaang, there is less care in styling:

but the general style is still the same. toph’s hair acts as a symbol for her rebelling against her parents and her strict upbringing, while also staying true to herself and not changing drastically just to prove a point. when she’s not at home, her bangs fall freely and the rest of her hair isn’t done up as high. (something something metaphor for her feeling less restricted and more free while travelling with the gaang~) toph DIRECTLY STATES that she doesn’t care about appearance or seeking approval, and this just shows how comfortable she is with her sense of self. i like that she doesn’t do a full 180 and change completely (some ‘i cut my hair cause nobody understand me!’ ‘it’s not a phase MOM’ shit would’ve been so BORING and predictable lmao) but the difference is that she now does everything on her own terms. i really like that subtle distinction. hair symbolism!!!!

katara:

something about katara *literally* letting her hair down as she finally learns she doesn’t have to be so mature and responsible all the time and that she is ultimately still a kid is so personal😖

but also i was curious so i googled it and-

katara exploring her freedom and discovering new connections across the other nations outside of the small world she knew as a kid (the SWT) something something… HAIR SYMBOLIMSN aUuUhsushshsjdkf

no but genuinely i feel like katara is a really difficult character to analyse cause her characterisation really depends on your external POV. but me, personally, i feel like she’s grown up with very distinct ideas on what is right and wrong and all that and it’s influenced how she’s perceived the rest of the world - symbolised in her s1 braid. and then i feel like by the end of the show we’ve watched her learn so much and progress so much and explore freedom to think for herself outside what she’s been taught as a kid. and ofc as she grows up this happens more rapidly (i’m thinking around s3 post-invasion. the katara development>>>>) ANYWAYS and THAT’S symbolised in her free-flowing hair.

am i making an actual point here? no idea. ima keep going~

aang:

oh yes oh yes book 3 aang hair symbolism my beloved🫶🫶

there’s so much that is already said and shown on screen about how important aang’s lack of hair is to him and how important his airbender tattoos are. and that’s so valid like this boy wears his arrows with pride because he is the only one left to do so! girlbossing hard.

anyways my point for bestie aang is that he adapts a LOT to the world he unfreezes in BUT still keeps his air nation beliefs and customs and i love it so much! i know that’s obvious ofc it’s like 40% of his character BUT the fact they showed him objecting to hiding his arrows in book 3>>>>> like YES this boy’s customs are IMPORTANT to him! let him PREACHHHH

also ofc him hiding his identity with hair cause of his shame about failing as the avatar in book 3 and then shaving his head before he redeems himself later on in the season <3333

but that’s all been said before.

i was gonna write some for sokka and suki but my phone is on 2% lmk if u want me to continue with these thoughts (i have some on mai too) & thx if u read this whole thing (it’s 90% waffle). kisses mwah mwah

thinking about atla hair symbolism again… zhrrngng

[patheticphallacy]

This is going to be a really difficult introduction to my wrap up.

Unfortunately, on September 18th my dad passed away. He was only 50 years old. I won’t go into details because of how personal it is, but he was in hospital a majority of the month before he passed. I’ve taken a year suspension from University for the time being.

It has been a really difficult time for myself and my family. I’ve turned a lot to books and blogging to offer a way to occupy my mind which is why so many things still seem to be coming out, but I cannot say that this will hold up after the funeral.

As I schedule so many posts, a lot of what came out this month has been written since around mid August and I did not find the time to stop the University posts before they were released. I won’t be deleting them.

I hope you’ll all understand.

THINGS I’VE READ

    An Inspector Calls by J.B. Priestley– My sister gave me her copy she used for her GCSE’s. Such a great play with revelation after revelation, left me on the edge of my seat. While I knew the core plot twist, I didn’t predict that ending. 

Mob Psycho 100 Volume 1 by One– This was kind of meh. It’s one of my best friend’s favourites, so I’ll carry it on eventually, but I don’t really feel the urge to pick volume two up just yet. I will say I like how the anime tackles the same events in a different order to save major revelations for backstory– that was really interesting to pick up on. 

I Call Upon Thee by Ania Ahlborn– I really didn’t like this! Lacklustre and very cliched, feel like it doesn’t really offer anything other than annoying ending and characters who go through absolutely no development at all. 

Kissing Tolstoy by Penny Reid– An OK romance that actually has discussions surrounding reading and books that don’t feel forced. I found this easy to read even though I’ve never read any Russian Lit, and I actually want to read it more now. Like that it discusses age gaps and issues of the power dynamic too. 

    Seven Tears at High Tide by C.B. Lee– Finally finished this one, and it only took me 3 months. A very cute and heartwarming story about a boy who makes a wish and falls in love with a Selkie. Does get ridiculous at the end, I must say, but I was happy with the payoff. 

The Tea Dragon Society by Katie O’Neill– Katie O’Neill creates such amazing narratives that have wonderful messages about society and being true to yourself and your wishes, pursuing something that you love and encouraging others to do the same. 

Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin– How can I ever trust a single man or old person after this book? Tell me. 

Please Undo This Hurt by Seth Dickinson– Don’t really rate this short story. It bored me and I hated the main characters, not even in a good way. Just perpetuates the ‘I can save you from your mental illness’ narrative that is dull and overdone by this point. 

    My Hero Academia Volume 20 by Kohei Horikoshi– Gentle Criminal and La Brava was so boring, the School Festival arc was fabulous, and Endeavor finally got his ass kicked! Yay! 

Aphrodite Made Me Do It by Trista Mateer– I have a review of this coming out soon for National Poetry Day in the UK, but if you don’t want to wait, I have a review here!

The Quiet Boy by Nick Antosca– I read this after watching the trailer for Antlers, and I thought it was pretty neat! Very thrilling, although I’m bothered by changes being made in the film that I feel could detract from having Julia as one of the main characters in the film. 

I Am Not Your Final Girl by Claire C. Holland– A collection of poetry centring around fictional women from horror films, exploring their empowerment and agency in a genre and a wider culture and society that seems willing to beat them down until they break. 

Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink– I have a review of this linked later this post! Full of body horror and emotional trauma, this is a really solid read great for fans of the podcast and Welcome to Night Vale. 

    In the Shadow of Spindrift House by Mira Grant– I love this terrible cover! Keep an eye out for my review of this, it’s coming out soon. 

The World’s Greatest First Love Volume 1 by Shungiku Nakamura– The publishing elements and the main character were GREAT, but there is prevalent sexual assault in this that is never addressed and is incredibly insensitive in its treatment, so I don’t recommend this manga. 

Dead Voices by Katherine Arden– I didn’t enjoy this one as much as Small Spaces, but it’s still really freaky and a great middle grade read. I love that Coco gets her own POV in this, too, and that it doesn’t take stereotypical routes with some of its plotlines. 

No One Is Too Small To Make a Difference by Greta Thunberg– This is a collection of speeches Greta Thunberg has made addressing climate change, as well as her own position as an advocate for the cause. Moving and a must read, in my opinion. It’s only £3 in Waterstones at the moment for anyone who wants to pick it up!

    Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury– A fascinating collection of essays written by Bradbury about his writing process and some of the more popular works he’s published. I honestly felt really inspired and motivated after reading this, I highly recommend it especially for creative writers, but just be warned it is very oriented around the white male experience.

Heartstopper Volume 2 by Alice Oseman– I adore Heartstopper and I love this second volume. Great progression in the relationship between Nick and Charlie, and we’re getting to see more outside of their relationship and into their friendships and family dynamics, too. I still love Tori Spring!

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle– Finally got a hold of the MASSIVE audiobook where Stephen Fry narrates all the Holmes stories, and it honestly made the experience so much more enjoyable. I think Doyle’s skill lies more in shorter fiction than longer fiction, I think there’s less opportunity for… not useless, per se, just unneeded waffling. 

Giant Days Volume 9 and 10 by John Allison– These two volumes take place around the tailend of the girl’s second years and follows their accommodation location, the progression (and breakdown) of relationships, and them finally making it to third year intact. I honestly can’t believe there’s only three or four volumes left in this series, its been a constant companion for me since 2016 when I first started and I really don’t want to let it go. 

  No Touching At All and Even So, I Will Love You Tenderly by Kou Yoneda– Of the ‘older’ manga I’ve read that focus on the relationships between two men, these two are definitely in the ‘recommend’ pile. Other than the beautiful names for the volumes and the artwork being really pretty, I really enjoyed the developing relationships and the conversations had about workplace homophobia and ostracization in Japan, although that wasn’t the main focus. They do include some questionable attitudes towards identification of sexuality– two characters in both volumes are probably bisexual or on that spectrum, but are referred to as straight more than once for liking women and only the man they enter the relationship with. It’s complicated, but nothing in either volumes ever feels targeted or hateful, just lacking education on the nuances of sexuality. 

Articles

I found this article about Friends great as it breaks down issues I’ve had with the show for years. I don’t have a lot of attachment to it, honestly, I mostly just put it on in the background, but I think I’ll stop now. I’ve always found the handling of gender and sexuality damaging in Friends, as well as the overwhelming fatphobia.

I really enjoyed looking through this list The Guardian did of the 100 best books of the 21st century. I don’t know why, I’m just a big fan of lists!

Before reading this article, I can honestly tell you I knew nothing about Susan Sontag beyond her name. It’s deconstructing her queerness and how her aversion to accepting her own sexuality ultimately ruled a lot of the work she produced in her life.

God, this article was fascinating. I can’t even tell you what it’s about, really, other than that it’s an interview with Christeene, a punk drag artist who is just really cool, honestly. There are some buttholes for anyone who… wants to avoid butts? Or reading this at work?

There was a massive conversation in August that carried into September regarding the rise in men adopting pseudonyms to get their thriller novels published. This Atlantic article particularly captured the issues I have with men who do this, who are almost trying to fool an audience of women who trust women writers to not approach the suffering of women through a misogynistic lens, as is so common in modern society.

An older article by The New Inquiry, Coming out of the Coffin offers an insight into the fraught relationship between Bram Stoker and Oscar Wilde. A really interesting read, I’m just sad I discovered it 7 years after its release!

THINGS I WATCHED

I don’t do music sections on these wrap ups anymore, so I’ll put this here: the GRAACE cover of ‘Complicated’ by Avril Lavigne completely transforms the song and adds such an amazing depth to it

I decided to binge watch Fleabag and it’s most definitely the best decision I’ve made all year. Fleabag follows the titular woman as she navigates her life as a thirty year old woman whose entire life is in flux, and has been since the death of her mother. There’s a lot I could say about this show, honestly. What really stood out to me was how much I could relate specifically to the emotions Fleabag and her older sister Claire feel in relation to each other, and their grief. Seeing them still come back together even after such a significant loss, their dependency, really gives me strength to get through what I’m experiencing at the moment, so Fleabag has been something I can relate to and look at as hope for a future where I can begin to wrap my head around the terrible things going on around me.

THINGS I POSTED

August Wrap Up

TTT: Books Outside My Comfort Zone

50 Bookish Questions Tag

Music I Enjoyed This Summer

Connie’s Personal 101 Guide For Personal Survival of University

Bookshelf Tour Part 3: TBR & More Manga/Comics

Book Review: I Call Upon Thee by Ania Ahlborn

TTT: Books on my Fall TBR

Book Review: Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink

Bookshelf Tour Part 4: CDs&DVDs

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi. 

Goodreads|Twitter|Instagram|Letterboxd

September Wrap Up This is going to be a really difficult introduction to my wrap up. Unfortunately, on September 18th my dad passed away.

[hamiltonimaginesposts-blog]

Pens

Hi, I’m Mooshii and to be honest this is my first Hamilton imagine/one shot. I have no idea what I’m doing on this but hopefully you’ll like it! Also, I’m sorry for any grammar errors - Mooshii

Time: Modern

Ship: Alexander x Reader

Warnings: Mention of mating animals. Nothing else unless your triggered by college, female pronouns, or pens

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Y/n going to kill Peggy. Her best friend, Peggy Schuyler, asked her to sign up for the literature class with her in hopes for Y/n to find her soulmate.  Now you personally felt no rush to find your so-called 'soulmate' and often protest against Peggy's measures, but Peggy would hear none of it.

Now here Y/n was taking notes in a rapid fashion, glancing at the board every few seconds. Peggy was right beside her doodling in her own notebook instead of working. The professor, Mr. Washington, didn't seem to notice Peggy as he was writing on the smartboard. Soon you took a break from writing and set down her black pen.

Peggy took this as a cue to pass the Y/h/c a note as Mr. Washington turn around to the board. Y/n glance at Peggy as she opened the note. There in hastily written yet beautiful handwriting was 'Why do you keep changing colors' in a darkish ink. You sighed and picked a random pen and wrote 'I wouldn't know Pegs. Can't see color remember' Y/n copied down the new notes with a pen before passing the note back.

Y/n looked down at her wrist there in perfect cursive was 'Excuse me, can I borrow a pen, Miss?' in black ink. This irked you to no end because you often got asked for a pen since high school. Peggy had better luck at finding her soulmate than you. She found her soulmate in 10th grade and she's been happy ever since. Y/n got snapped back in reality when Mr.Washington turned to the large class.

"You're going to write an essay about any topic you want. But it must be at least 5 pages long. The written rough draft will be due in two weeks." At that many groaned and sighed. Peggy groaned and muttered, "He's trying to kill us.." Y/n chuckled and looked around the room.

One face stood out from the others two desks away. Soft looking hair pulled up in a ponytail, bright intelligent eyes staring at his notes, hoodie with the sleeves rolled up, and black converse. You recognized him as Alexander Hamilton, Washington's teacher pet. Alexander had a reputation of writing nonstop for hours. His Friend John Laurens sat between you two but sometimes asked to trade spots to talk with Peggy. You never talked to Hamilton but often chatted with Laurens.

Peggy watched as Y/n stared at Alexander, who was completely oblivious to the staring and started to smirk. Finally, Mr. Washington dismissed class early much to Peggy's Joy. Student rushed out the door but her best friend still didn't move. She sighed and snapped her fingers in front of your face.

Peggy's POV

I watch as Y/n snapped her head up to me. "Class's over," I said while packing up.  She quickly gathers up her multiple colorful pens. "I swear you're addicted to pens" I teased only to be replied with a scoff. "Not true, I just like to write in different colors for when I meet my soulmate." You shot back and started to head for the door. 'Rude, She's leaving me.' I thought, running after you. We started talking about what topic to write our essays about while walking to the dorms but the conversation took a weird turn.

"Have you ever seen two insects have sex?" Y/n said after a comfortable silence took over. "...what?" I asked completely dumbfounded. She went on the long rant on how she was eating outside at a cafe when two dragonflies flew over and landing on her table on top each other. I listen intently for a while before she said she took a picture. "Why would you take a picture?" Y/n only shrugged as we arrived at our dorm to see someone at our door.

I instantly recognized the tall figure. "Hercules!" I squealed before jumping into his open arms. Hercules emitted a deep chuckled making me smile. Hercules is my amazing soulmate and I wouldn't want it any other way. We meet in 10th grade, he complimented me on my outfit and the rest was history. "Hey beautiful, I came to see if you wanted to go to the movies?" Hercules asked hopefully. I grinned and turned to Y/n "I'll be back before dinner, promise!" Y/n smiled and started pushing Hercules and me down the hallway "Go love birds!~" she singsonged.

Y/n Pov

I watched the two soulmates walk down the hallway until they disappeared. Afterward, I turned and entered the dorm, and crashed onto the couch. My thoughts drifted back a certain teacher's pet. Soon I drifted off into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the smell of breakfast that permeated through the air. I sat up and groaned as a sharp pain ran through my neck. "Nice to see you in the world of the living, sleeping beauty" Peggy called from the small dining room. I got up and trudge to the table "Morning...".  Peggy was setting up some microwavable waffles with fresh berries on top. "Eat up class start soon." Peggy giggles as I started shoveling waffles into my mouth.

Soon threw away the paper plate (what we're broke college students) and rushed off to get ready. After doing my morning routine, Peggy and I headed off to my least favorite class ever. Upon entering the classroom only a few student littered the desk. Of course, Alexander was there chatting with John. We quickly took our seats and took out our notebooks. "How was your date with Herc?" I asked Peggy while scribbling something down in pen. Pegs went into a full detailed story on how 'fantastic her date was.

I smirked at how lovestruck she was before we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. There stood Alexander with a charming smile looking me in the eyes. "Excuse me, can I borrow a pen, Miss?" He asked. I shrugged and replied "Sure, choose one"

But instead of the world staying in monotone only to color wash over the bleak colors. My eyes darted everywhere before settling on beautiful brown eyes. Alexander's face had a shocked looked while staring at me. Peggy kept glance between us. "Um...Is there something I'm missing here?" She questioned.

Alexander's shocked face slowly turn into a smirk as he took your hand in his. "My name is Alexander Hamilton. And can I have the pleasure of knowing your name?" I quickly responded with "Y/n" to which he brought my hand up to his lips. ' I wonder how those lips feel against mine...' I thought before gulping.

Alexander still my hand and look down at my collection of pens "Woah." I promptly down to see so many different colored pens scattered across my writing space. A sense of pride flooded me at my collection. Peggy muttered "Told ya you're addicted to pens.." to which I stuck my tongue out at her.

Alexander chuckled before eyeing a fancy olive green pen. I followed his line of sight before picking up said pen. "Here I want you to have it." holding it out with a smile. Alexander quickly grinned back and graciously took the pen. "Thank you, Y/n"

Peggy snickered as we talked a bit more before he went back to his seat. "So I'm guessing you found your soulmate?" she questioned. I sighed before slouching in my seat, completely helpless. Not even writing a 5-page essay could kill my good mood.

Let's just say, Alexander never went anywhere without his favorite olive green pen.

Please leave constructive criticism - Mooshii

[thebitchqueenthatwaspromised]

Acowar Asks: 1, 6, 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 21, 23, 24, 26 and 27

*cracks knuckles* Here we go!

1) I’m not big switching multiple POVs. If you’re going to need the narrative to be carried on by new individuals switch to a third person limited. I’m a bit of a snob. You shouldn’t have to label at the top who now has the narrative. Do it right and it’s unnecessary.

6) I need Lucien development plus backstory. We’ve only really seen glimpses of what he’s been dealing with from the Tool and Ianthe. 

11) I think she’d be reasonable at it. She knows how it feels to shut down and shut out parts of the world. Given she did so through illness but the muscle memory is there. The survival drive is also very practiced.

12) I want to see Dawn court mostly because the quiz put me there. 

14) I’m hoping that she’ll be reserved but curious. Maybe a little unwittingly, she’s being drawn by it and doesn’t even know. Lucien strikes me as a grand angsty gesture kind of guy so I foresee tumult. 

15) I’m not a big Nesta fan. I’ll be right up front about it. So I’m not really sure what I’d prefer. I think she’d be more apt at the warrior role maybe.

16) Oh my god. The notes in my copy of ACOMAF is riddled with “WHAT IS MOR’S POWER?!” I’m thinking it’s the power of reflecting the truth of oneself back at them with all possible judgement. If you’re familiar with the Egyptian concept of the afterlife, I’m thinking something like that. You’re faults and missteps are judged and you crumble under the weight. Psychological warfare on an individualized level. It’s not just truth, it’s judgement too.

21) Hm. Hybern needs to die for obvious plot reasons. Jurian, because he’s just an average psychotic snot waffle. Ianthe, because she is disgusting. I pick Ianthe. 

23) NAY NAAAAAY NAYNAYNAY. That trope is old, cheap, and needs to be buried. Especially if it’s Feyre and Rhys! After the essay on family planning and waiting, I’d find it supremely reductive.

24) Not well? Stages of loss and what not. Actual mental health issues.

26) Babies. Nesta turning into the second coming (it feels like the fandom and the author are going there but a girl can dream). A Tamlin redemption arc that involves him being one of the team. He can come to an awareness of how awful he is and be forgiven etc. but acceptance into the fold is too much for me. 

27) MORE THOROUGH WORLD BUILDING! Also, I want a full demonstration of Rhys’ power. And finally, Lucien coming into his own and outside of the horrible controlling forces in his life (Tamlin/Family).