#posts nervously again

[sthwaaberry]

firsts - k.hongjoong

wc: 550+

pairing: subby virgin hongjoong x fem reader

warnings: p w/o plot, handjob, blowjob, make out scene, mention of sex, lmk if i missed anything (not proofread!)

hongjoong had a lot of his firsts with you. first hug, first kiss, first date. he loved being with you and experiencing what it’s like to truly be loved and appreciated, he did.. but there was always one first he was seemingly hell bent on avoiding.

almost a year into your relationship, and you guys still hadn’t fucked. never going beyond a quick make out session, you never even saw hongjoong naked. you respected his boundaries, no matter how much you wanted him.

it was a night like any other, he came home after coming home from airport, chunky glasses sitting atop his nose bridge as you watched whatever shitty rom-com you chose. not even 30 minutes into the movie and he was all over you, having placed you in his lap leaving sloppy, rushed kisses on your lips; odd. usually you were the one to initiate it. though, you weren’t complaining. though the way his fists bunched at the oversized tee you were wearing started to worry you at his change in character.

“joong, is everything alright?” you murmur, a soft peck placed on your lips before he answers “yeah, just— fuck. today was really stressful, love. i wanna forget about my responsibilities right now, wanna focus on you.” he pouts. “can you help me forget?”

his words sent a shiver down your spine. was this really happening? you tried to ignore how heated your ears felt. “hongjoong, are you asking—“ “yes. please. i come home and you’re sitting here so damn pretty.. w-we don’t even have to fuck yet.” he says, clearly desperate. you bite your lip before leaving your spot on his lap, falling to the carpeted floor below the sofa, in between his spread thighs.

your eyes widen at the bulge you see in his boxers when you finally take off his pants. you weren’t expecting it to be this big. you slip the remaining fabric off, mouth salivating at the sight before you.

he wasn’t exactly thick, but he made up for it in length. his tip red and angry, dribbling with precum. you look up at him, watching as he purses his lips, glasses slightly crooked and foggy to the point where you could barely make out his eyes. you looked so damn pretty like this, slotted in between his legs.

you wrap your fingers around his length, giving him an experimental stroke, a gorgeous moan leaving his lips. you wanted to hear it again badly. encouraged by his sounds, you start stroking him slowly but surely, thumb running across his tip as a string of whines and profanities leave his lips.

“p-please, y/n.. need my cock in your mouth, you’ll let me, right?” he whimpers out, and you obey, lips slowly wrapping around his cock. with what you can’t fit in your mouth, you continue to stroke, feeling him throb inside of you.

“a-ah.. f-fuck, wait- m’gon—” with little to no warning, strings of his warm cum shoot down your throat, making you pull away for a bit to swallow, catching your breath.

“give me a warning next time, joong.” you say with a breathless chuckle, while hongjoong looks away flustered, grumbling an apology talking about how he didn’t mean to. meanwhile, you could tell he was noticeably less tense than before, leaving a satisfied smile on your face.

a/n: AAAA im sorry i know im supposed to be writing two other full fics but these images appeared on the tl in the dead of night and i couldn’t help myself 😣 i didn’t proofread sorry for mistakes, please leave your thoughts i’d love to hear it since this is my first time writing smut and thank you if you read all of this !!

[wickjump]

im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it

seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic don’t even give a kudos. even if the fic wasn’t top tier, if you didn’t dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says “great fic!” the author will be happy. your comment doesn’t have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.

so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors don’t care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!

i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a little….at least sum kudos….

[ganondoodle]

(zelda comic rough draft)

im still unable to draw anything ... except for really slowly getting the chapter 2 rough draft further for some reason, another screenshot from page 59

[internet-sona]

(Go check out the original post)

I know I’ve already reblogged this at one point, but it inspired a mephone4 headcanon.

I like to imagine that whenever mephone4 looks at a broken egg or a broken egg shell for a little bit too long, he starts to feel this sort of uneasy dread and fear deep down in the pit of his soul, like something is wrong, and he doesn’t understand why.

Eventually, he chalks it up to being afraid of the cracking part of an egg, since just like an egg, he can crack too. He’s a phone, so of course he’d be afraid of cracking his screen.

That’s not actually the reason though, but he himself doesn’t know that.

[carmenpeach]

i love just opening my amv and watching it it makes me so happy i cant wait to make more <3 for years ive made amvs in my head and can just visualize them but never had the means/ motivation/ mental or physical functioning to really do them, and i was making this like pressure on myself making my amv cause it was finally happening but i desperately needed it to be good and so i would get stuck in my head with it a lot. and ive got something or other wrong with my body all da time especially lately so im like fighting for my life for the 20min a day of functionality i have lol but its really such a weight off my shoulders now <3

i have a good chunk of shadow amvs rolling around in my head and an elfen lied one (its funny cause a few years ago i looked it up and got really distressed when i couldnt find it thinking it got deleted but no i just see it so clear in my head i forgot it wasnt real lol) me and soren are gonna work on a vegeta amv together next though ^-^ ive been all beat up over the fact i havent been able to make art as much because of my (insert mysterious unknown disease here) but ive started making simple doodles again too and theyre kinda hard to do but its a start ^-^ its really funny being into dragon ball cause ive never learned how to draw masc guys and so now its like great. thats what i like right now. but i think itll probably be quite a while until i get the last chapter of my sonic comic out but im hoping im on an upward slope on life... i can mostly function for like 3 days at a time and then im just unable to really move at all for a few days but im learning how my body is working and i will work with it best i can ^-^ ive also started reading again and i have a ton of books stacked up ive been wanting to read for years so who knows maybe on my down days i can get that gone through too lol

[hi-its-meg]

☕️

[violetregrets1837]

okay I know I never post anything I usually only reblog, HOWEVERRRR

I have a thing I would like to share with whoever finds it :)

(I'm gonna ramble a bit before we get to the good part gimme a second)

I just found a small piece of writing from a year or so ago. It was in one of my favourite little notebooks and it was for school, but not really? like. we had a person from the local theatre come in one day who was promoting a summer camp and we did a bunch of fun creative writing exercises and I LOVED it sm

For this specific exercise, we were tasked with humanising an object that we could see in the room. A few people chose the French flag (none of us are french) or chairs and tables etc. etc. I chose the pen in my hand :D

here's the og:

I'm made for words of ink to flow from my mouth

The longer you don't write with me I dry up & become useless

The more you write with me, the more ink I lose & you'll throw me away once I'm out

But it's okay

I am a tool to be used by you

I am replaceable

not the best, I know. but the lady wanted to read mine aloud to the rest of my group and that made me really happy :)

and I just found it today and impulsively rewrote this. I tried it again after a year. here it is :D

Creating pages of poetry, of fantastical worlds & of barbed, wirey criticisms is my purpose

My blood flows out of my my mouth in tandem with slow, intentful hands & shaky hands with iron grips

My only price is a few euros & a free space on your desk

And it is okay if you forget about me, if you throw me away.

I will either have given up all my blood for you or have dried up in your neglect

I am a tool to be used by you

I am replaceable

[fleetingpetal]

since today is going to be fixing up the kiss scene before i finally publish interlocked eternities ( or rewrite it because fuck me sideways i cannot for the life of me get it right like i did with the confession ) here's your sneak peek as an apology.

( utc !! )

build up prior to the main event of the one-shot

his side of everything while you fess up about being down bad

[dreamsy990]

people will say any character who is nervous under reasonable circumstances at least twice has anxiety. which is absurd. anxiety is not just occasionally being nervous guys please. i love when characters have anxiety but please.

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: That Three-Player Childhood Friends Valicer AMA AU I Mentioned Briefly Before

So -- as per the title, I've talked a bit about this idea before, in the tags of the "Childhood Friends" prompt story I did for OT3 Week earlier this year, and as part of explaining why I chose to reblog the "Take Me Home To My Heart" Corpse Bride fan video for Song Saturday recently. But now it is time to give this AU a Proper Explanatory Post! *thumbs up* So here we go --

-->The basic conceit is that this is a Valicer twist on my old "Somebody I Used To Know" idea (where Victor and Alice were childhood friends before Alice got committed, and when Victor learned about what happened to Alice and started visiting her in Rutledge, he got sucked into the events of American McGee's Alice, going through that game with her. And then Victor managed to accidentally trigger the events of Alice: Madness Returns in the middle of Corpse Bride by inviting her to his arranged wedding to Victoria, accidentally marrying Emily, bringing the corpse bride back to meet Alice in the hopes they could somehow find her family down there -- the shock threw Alice back into Wonderland early, and this time she dragged Victoria and Emily in along with Victor, causing them to all have some interesting revelations about themselves and Barkis Bittern along the way, along with figuring out Bumby's damage). In this world, things are kicked off by that party in the "Childhood Friends" prompt, with Alice, Victor, and Smiler all making firm friends hiding out under one of the banquet tables, sharing stories and snacks and building card castles. Nell Van Dort and Dr. Kelman aren't initially happy that their children spent the duration of the party under a table -- but end up changing their tune when they learn Alice is the daughter of the distinguished Dean Liddell and his wife. So the trio are allowed to stay friends, with the Liddells tolerating the Van Dorts' and Kelman's presence in their lives for the sake of their younger daughter.

-->The trio have a lovely time together, becoming thick as thieves, with Alice introducing Victor and Smiler to Wonderland and them coming up with their own ideas for domains (Victor, who loves playing explorer and trying to hunt down new butterflies, naturally comes up with the Butterfly Jungle, while Smiler, who wants to live in a place where everyone is actually happy and not being tormented by their dad for not being "socially compliant," comes up with Smile Street). Alice and Smiler eventually agree that they both want to marry Victor when they grow up, and Alice designs a house for them all to live in when they're older (it looks like a mirror-flipped version of the Liddell house, with space for Victor to have a butterfly garden and Smiler a chemistry lab). She also makes bracelets for them all to wear out of spare yarn and some red, yellow, and blue beads she salvaged off an old worn-out pillow, because she couldn't find any toy rings and she thinks the bracelets are more fun anyway.

-->And then the Van Dorts host the Kelmans and the Liddells for a visit, and Alice, Victor, and Smiler all have a play wedding with their favorite toys where Alice hands out the bracelets and they all vow to love each other forever and always be friends and such. They then happily go down to tea, and when Nell questions the bracelets, Victor cheerfully informs her that they all got married --

Cue Nell Van Dort and Dr. Kelman both loudly objecting to this (Nell because, while being friends with the Liddells is good for their family socially, Victor can't marry the daughter of a mere Dean, never mind that they're all eight and it's all pretend, while Dr. Kelman is more focused on the whole "you cannot marry more than one person at once and boys can't marry boys, Marmaduke, I don't care what you say you are" side), and all three sets of parents getting into a huge fight, which ends with the visit being cut short and the Liddells and Kelmans heading home. Dr. Kelman gives Smiler the business on the way back and tosses their bracelet out the window of the carriage; Nell Van Dort tells Victor he is not going to embarrass her like that ever again and to get that bracelet out of her sight (prompting him to hide it in his dresser drawer instead of throwing it away in a small rebellious act of technical compliance); and the Liddells comfort Alice as best they can (while also gently explaining that you can only marry one person at once, which Alice thinks is stupid), with Arthur finally going, "Well, at least we won't miss Bonfire Night back home."

-->Yeah, cue the Liddell Fire, and poor Alice being chucked into Rutledge without Victor or Smiler knowing. And, of course, losing her bracelet in the process, because she wasn't wearing it in bed. :(

-->Fast forward to roughly ten years later -- Victor, feeling very anxious about the fact that his parents are shopping around for a wife for him, finds the bracelet in his dresser again and feels inspired to try and reconnect with his childhood friends. He decides to start by writing Alice and asks Mayhew if he could help him secretly deliver a letter --

Cue Mayhew spilling the beans on where Alice has been the last ten years, and Victor, horrified and furious this was kept from him, decides he's going to see her, come hell or high water. He thus sets out from Burtonsville to Rutledge before his parents can stop him, and arrives at the same time a doctor and his child do, with the doctor explaining he's here to help treat a patient. Victor ends up sitting in the waiting area with the kid while the doctor talks to the nurses...

-->And, when the kid gives him a tentative smile, abruptly recognizes them as an older Smiler. The two delightedly reconnect (with Victor being startled by how deep Smiler's voice has gotten, while Smiler is similarly startled by how tall Victor's gotten), and Victor asks if Smiler and Dr. Kelman are here to see Alice too.

Revealing Smiler ALSO had no idea what had happened to Alice and causing them to become similarly furious that no one told them. They inform Kelman that they're seeing Alice along with him -- Kelman is annoyed, but the nurse at the front desk says that if Smiler is a childhood friend, it might help, so he reluctantly allows it. Victor and Smiler thus go in to visit Alice together, and while they're initially shocked by her conditions, they do their best to reach out to her. At first, it doesn't look like it's working...

But at the end of the visit, when they go to leave, Alice does turn to look at them. Dr. Wilson, who has been observing all this, is pleased to see any reaction out of her and encourages the two to keep coming back to see if they can get her any further out of her catatonic state.

-->Cue Victor and Smiler staying near Rutledge and visiting Alice on the regular, hoping to break through to her (the Van Dorts arrive at one point to try and drag Victor back home, but Victor, with Smiler's help, successfully convinces them that he's making them look good by being so kind to this poor mad orphan that has lost her family and gets them to let him stay for a little longer). The pair recount old stories, read books to her, and generally do what they can to hopefully get a reaction -- and in the process, start reconnecting themselves, talking about their lives and where they've ended up (Victor telling Smiler about how his parents are looking for a socially-advantageous match and how he'd really rather be allowed to go to art school or something, while Smiler talks about Dr. Kelman trying to turn them into his successor and how they wish they could strike out on their own as a traveling alchemist or something). For a while, nothing much seems to be happening with Alice --

-->And then the incident with the orderlies spooning porridge all over Alice's beloved bunny happens. Victor and Smiler arrive for their visit in the middle of the whole mess, and while trying to stop the orderlies from retaliating against Alice's attack, see Alice go at her wrists with the spoon. Horrified, Victor screams at her to stop while Smiler tries to get the spoon from her --

Cue Alice looking up and apparently really seeing them for the first time, and collapsing crying in their arms. Dr. Wilson comes and tends to everyone's injuries, then -- once Alice is quiet again -- asks if Victor and Smiler wouldn't mind feeding her from now on, as he thinks they would get better results. Victor and Smiler are agreeable, and indeed Alice almost eagerly eats her gruel when they're the ones holding the spoon. They slowly become more and more involved with her actual care, with Smiler double-checking Wilson's various concoctions so he doesn't accidentally kill Alice while Victor helps keep the superintendent from making a fuss using his family's cash --

-->And then, one stormy day, they're both just hanging out with Alice when Nurse D returns Mr. Bunny after a cleaning. And shortly after she leaves, they all see the rabbit doll turn to Alice and beg her to "save us."

-->Cue all three of them dropping into Wonderland without warning (Victor and Smiler ending up unconscious in the real world, with the frightened staff unable to wake them). Alice is naturally rather startled to have her childhood best friends with her in Wonderland, while Victor and Smiler are naturally rather startled to be in Wonderland. They have a confused reunion before Cheshire urges them to chase Rabbit, and the trio find that Wonderland is in a very bad way thanks to the Queen of Hearts, and it's up to them to set things right...

-->And so the gang travel through Wonderland, going through all the events of American McGee's Alice in a three-player format! With the most notable changes and additions so far being --

a) Alice, rather than wearing her standard blood-spattered blue dress, is in the Ash Dress from the original take on Alice: Asylum (because while I was never a big fan of the various A:A concepts, I loved that dress); Victor is in a dark blue suit that doesn't look that different to his real-life clothes; and Smiler is in a plain pale yellow suit -- though they do also get their glowing yellow eyes and purple-tipped hair to go with it (Victor and Alice are like "???" while Smiler is like " :D ")

b) While I'm not 100% on everybody's weapons for this game, particularly Smiler's, I know we definitely get the trio of the Vorpal Blade, Fork, and Spoon, and Smiler's attacks are still more about stunning people than about actually hurting them

c) While traveling through the various domains, the trio come across a dead and dried jungle that none of them recognize...until Victor finds a weakly-glowing butterfly under the remains of the foliage and realizes to his shock that this is the Butterfly Jungle -- it basically died along with his dreams of being an explorer when he grew up :(

d) Similarly, they also encounter a cobble street with a bunch of unfinished houses and a dried-up fountain at the end -- Smiler clocks it after seeing the spiral clouds in the sky as their old Smile Street, guessing that it never got properly completed after they lost their friends :(

e) While going through the Land of Fire and Brimstone, the trio eventually clock that the Liddell house on the top of the volcano doesn't look quite right -- in fact, it seems to be a mirror image of the real house. Cue one of them (currently I generally have Victor as the one to make the connection) finally realizing that it's not the Liddell house -- it's their house, the one Alice made for them when they were small. Cue them redoubling their efforts to reach it, and finally going inside and getting to enjoy a space that is all theirs --

For about five seconds, before the Jabberwock arrives to burn it all down. >( And then hit them all with their guilt about being the only survivor of the fire (Alice), and not even trying to find out what had happened to Alice earlier (Victor and Smiler). Because the Jabberwock is an asshole.

f) Which makes it even more satisfying when, during the second boss fight against him, the trio all grab the Jabberwock's Eye Staff and just ultra-blast him with its awesome laser >D

g) At some point, the bracelets come up again (probably after Jabberwock Part I), with Alice and Smiler mourning the loss of theirs -- and then Victor revealing he still has his, offering them comfort that at least ONE of the damn things survived

h) Undecided currently if Alice insists on facing the Queen of Hearts alone, or if Victor and Smiler come with -- I mean, the Queen is a very personal enemy for Alice, but at the same time, it feels weird to have Victor and Smiler sit out such an important fight... Hmmm. Maybe split the difference -- have Alice insist on doing the first part of the fight alone after Cheshire gets beheaded to try and spare her friends, only for Victor and Smiler to come help her back on her feet after the Queen's speech and join her for the second phase? Yeah, I rather like that, let's go with that. :)

-->Once the Queen is defeated, everyone wakes up, and Victor, Alice, and Smiler all share a big real-world embrace while the doctors and nurses (along with the Van Dorts and Kelman) try to figure out WTF just happened. XD Alice is eventually pronounced well enough to leave, and the trio finally go their separate ways (the Van Dorts insisting that Victor has to come home now; Dr. Kelman wanting to get back to his own Sanctuary with Smiler; and of course Dr. Bumby arriving to take Alice to Houndsditch), though they vow to stay in contact this time, no matter WHAT life throws at them.

-->...and this is where I run into a bit of a roadblock, because I'm not actually sure what to do with the A:MR/CB portion of the AU. I mean, it's gotta be done, Bumby cannot be allowed to get away with his bullshit, and not only do we have to expose Barkis's murders, we also have to expose Kelman's horrific brain surgeries on innocent people (I in fact already have an idea where Alice's Rutledge hallucination from the second game ends up overlapping with Smiler having a bad time in a hallucinatory Sanctuary, revealing Kelman as a monster in the process)...but I'm not entirely sure a post-AMA Victor would actually go along with being forced into an arranged marriage. Dude would have had to have gained some confidence after fighting all those monsters, right? Though I have had the thought that maybe he would make a deal with his parents to marry whoever they picked without a fight in order to keep seeing Alice (a deal he starts regretting after he starts realizing he's in love with Alice and Smiler post all the nonsense), which would put him in a position to do the Corpse Bride stuff...and would allow me to get Victoria and Emily in on the fun like in the original "Somebody I Used To Know" idea. Go big or go home, right? :p I'll figure it out eventually, I'm sure.

Whew -- that was longer than anticipated! But I hope you enjoyed it. And can maybe offer up some ideas for the A:MR/CB parts of the AU. :p

[quirkle2]

“Exactly. That’s where I come in,” he slowly floats away once he knows Shigeo has balance, “Just for one night. I possess you, you get the grandest sleep you’ve ever had in your life, and while you’re busy schnoozing, Ritsu will do your homework.” Dimple holds out a little hand. “Deal, partner?” Shigeo looks at it like he’s seeing another world, like it’s the light at the end of a long, dark tunnel, and his hand twitches at his side. He’s still got this other against his dresser and he grips the wood until his fingers go white, digits wrapping around the corner like he wants to snap it off. But he also looks at it like he’s seen this before, like he knows how this will go, like he wants to stay no and turn away and then his legs are wobbling and his eyes are tired and he’s losing steam by the day. Dimple watches him think over the consequences, weigh the reward against it, watches him go back and forth between an open expression and that stern, guarded one. This is exactly why he hadn’t offered this sooner. If he’d done this a few weeks ago, Shigeo still would’ve had energy left in him, no matter how little, and it would’ve convinced him he could keep going. He would’ve said no immediately, wouldn’t turned him down without a thought. But now, the kid is worn down. The kid is salivating at the idea of a good night’s sleep, a full, deep eight hours uninterrupted, and Dimple is an expert in offering deals at good moments. He knows how to starve people of things they need, knows how to cut off the things that make people straight thinkers, and he also knows this isn’t the most honest way to do this, but he has to. Possessing the kid will give him access to his thoughts. Shigeo gets to sleep, and Dimple gets to find out if the stench of death is really what he thinks it is.

[alectoperdita]

Trying to hype myself up to do some writing over this long weekend (I miss my boys 😭). So if you wanna help out, I just love thinking and talking about them, feel free to send any questions or thoughts or speculations. It just gets my creative juices flowing.

[sp00kymulderr]

Hi I have a hugely important interview today so pls send your positive vibes my way ta ❤️

[x-atlas-x]

oh great it’s time to buckle down and shut up

i’ve got… three days to finish this valentine’s day fic

[agentark]

reading The Fernweh Saga for the first time: this town is definitely weird, but I'm not scared yet

chapter 11: 🧍

[moongoddesssimp]

Sometimes I genuinely forget I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety until I'm sobbing in my room about all these overwhelming feelings and thoughts that I just numb and forget about. Like damn, how silly of me to forget how terrible my anxiety and anxious attachment issues are.