#posting this many months after creation somewhat wishing I had taken notes

[winter-spark]

CitoIta and Kingdom Hearts Headcanons

Because I like Kingdom Hearts and I like them and they are gamers

(I say CitoIta but honestly, it’s just because it’s about Citron & Itaru, the ship is kinda vague here lol. Like it’s probably optional to read it that way at this point)

(There’s an attempted bonus section about Banri at the end, that’s why I tagged him.)

{Opening in new tab is strongly advised. I used bullet points with sub bullet points. UPDATE: I personally struggled with opening this in a new tab on the blog where all the subpoints are properly formatted, so I pinned it so you can go right to my blog and find it easily if you want. Also I moved the Intro below the Keep Reading link for space.}

Keep Reading (I manually put this one so it would hopefully always open in a new properly formatted tab)

In this post, scientifically backed by my memory, understanding of the characters and other things (eg: feelings, unlisted headcanons, & my understanding of types of people in fanbases/the kh fandom, minus shippers, I’m not touching that... here, I might consider it in the future, probably not but maybe), I will go over basics like how many games they’ve played and their fave games, trios, characters by groups, and moments. Also, there are conversations and little tidbits about how it fits into their world. I tried to pick a favorite battle but note that they probably have more than one those are just notable ones that I thought were worth mentioning. There will be KH spoilers if you’re someone unfamiliar/not caught up with it. 

Citron

Has not played every game but has looked into the story and watched playthroughs of some of the other games.

Hasn’t played the games he has played in order, 

Might not have caught up on the story in order but if so that’d be more because he was looking for specific characters and info

Has definitely played BBS, Days, CoM, UX, & Dark Road. 

Might’ve played (one, two or all three of the following, idk) DDD, Re:Coded, KH

Has definitely not played KH2,

Likes to find/delve into theories

Read the Sleeping Realm Theory 

to Itaru, because he thought it sorta sounded interesting but told Citron he wasn’t reading all that.

I don’t know any other names of long theories besides SRT but you can bet your bottom dollar that Citron has read(or listened to) them for sure

Wants very much to try Sea Salt ice cream

Considering figuring out how to make Wayfinders

UX Union:

Anguis 

and has never switched unions

Favorites:

Game: Birth By Sleep

Trio: Keyblade Knights

Lost Trio is a close second

Character from each group:

Destiny: Sora

Sea Salt: Axel

Keyblade Knights: Aqua

Twilight Town: Hayner

Lost Trio: Namine

but Vanitas is a close second

Organization 13(minus Sea Salt): Xemnas, Zexion/Ienzo or Demyx(probably depends on the day)

Foretellers: Luxu

Xkids: Brain

& He gets bonus points for dressing up his Chirithy

DR Underclassmen: Vor

DR Upperclassmen: Vidar

Xehanort: Xemnas (?)

I know I listed Xemnas as one of his faves in Organization 13 but genuinely I feel it’s a v love hate relationship, where the love is that he can and definitely would(is like two seconds away from it) do an analysis on Xemnas’s actions/behaviors/character

Boss Battle(that he definitely 100% played): 

BBS Aqua ft. Terra vs Terranort

Opening:

Birth by Sleep 0.2 A Fragmentary Passage

Moments/Tidbits:

Involving Fave Trio:

All three:

KH3

Terra gaining control and saving Aqua and Ven

Aqua:

BBS

Doing her job but still standing up for Stitch

Giving up everything to try and save Terra

BBS 0.2

Knowingly chasing after illusions of her friends because she misses them so much.

Terra:

BBS

Gaining hope from meeting Cinderella

Standing against Eraqus to protect Ven

Ven:

BBS:

Running away with Stitch, lowkey being a space criminal

DDD:

Putting his armor on Sora to protect him from the darkness 

Involving someone other than Fave Trio:

KH1:

Kairi protecting Sora/saving him from being a Heartless

Days:

that Sora just subconsciously gave some of his memories to Xion because she didn’t have any

DDD

Neku telling Joshua Shibuya is his home too

Sora going off to thank the Dreameaters

Commonly Quoted(? idk what else to call these, i specifically mean the ones you find in compilations and stuff) Lines from the English Translation: “[’Me? I’m already half Xehanort'] ‘That’s nuts...’”

Bracketed the first part bcuz I think he uses the second part as a reaction sometimes, same infliction and everything

It’s at the point that Tsuzuru’s familiar with it, against his wishes(If Citron says the first part Tsuzuru might accidentally properly respond, that’s how deep in he is, he’s not even sure who Xehanort is(but he does think that’s nuts))

Final things of note: 

Is excited for Atlantis in KH2

Enjoys the attractions in KH3:

Loves that Dark Aqua could be beat w/ a pirate ship 

Loves that there was a roller coaster in the Keyblade Graveyard

Favorite Summons:

KH: Tinkerbell & Bambi

KH2: Stitch

KH3: Ariel & Meowwow

Often forgets he has items but has gotten really good at blocking and healing because of it

Very good with magic

Itaru

Has played just about every game in release date order, 

with just about 100% completion on all of them

Is (lowkey, but acts highkey) appalled Citron hasn’t played the games in order, currently planning time for them to play through all the games together

Has read the manga and maybe some of the light novels

Does look at theories sometimes, might even have a few of his own, definitely has his own headcanons

Secretly wishes he could share a Paopu Fruit w/ someone

UX Union:

Vulpeus

There’s a possibility he might’ve tried the other unions at some point but Vulpeus is his main and current union

Favorites:

Game: KH2

Trio: Sea Salt

Character from each group:

Destiny: Currently Riku, 

Wants it to be Kairi, but it’s just not, is always excited and ready for Kairi news tho

Was Sora for awhile

Sea Salt: Roxas, 

It really is, but he would absolutely main Xion if given the chance

Keyblade Knights: Aqua

Twilight Town: Roxas  Olette 

though he somewhat feels guilty to Pence as feels like he spent more time with Pence but that Olette is just a tad bit cooler

Lost Trio: Rep,

but Namine’s a close second 

Organization 13(minus Sea Salt): Currently Saïx/Isa, but it’s kind of a love hate relationship

There’s also a lean towards Larxene

Foretellers: Ava

Xkids: Skuld

DR underclassmen: Baldr

DR Upperclassmen: Hoder

Yes he cried over their story, no he won’t openly admit it

Chikage did witness it tho

Xehanort: Ansem SoD

Boss Battle (that he definitely 100% played): 

Days Roxas v Xion

Opening:

KH2, 

not because KH2 is his favorite game but rather it adds to why KH2 is his favorite game

Moments/Tidbits:

Involving Fave Trio:

All Three:

KH3

Their whole battle/reunion

to clarify the Lea Isa scene is a part of that

Roxas:

Days

The scene around the Riku vs Roxas battle

KH2:

Roxas v Sora scene

(I debated between this and the DDD scene. Also I feel like his list of favorite Roxas moment is longer than this but)

Xion:

KH2:

The seashell in the opening... for Xion

Days

Xion getting her own answers and spending time with Namine and Riku

Xion leaving all those seashells for Roxas

Axel:

CoM

Letting Namine go

KH2

Sacrificing himself to save Sora

Involving someone other than Fave Trio: 

KH2

Sora and Riku in RoD

Coded:

(Data-)Riku reaching for the moon

UX

Ephemer and Skuld saving Player|Star(light)/bringing them to the new version of the world

KH3 Re: Mind

Playing as Kairi in that boss battle

The fact that Kairi throws her keyblade because she trained with Axel

Commonly Quoted(?) Lines from the English Translation: “Roxas, that’s a stick.”

Final things of note:

Has found all 101 Dalmatians

Has read fanfiction longer than the Sleeping Realm Theory

(which is actually really easy to do, I looked it up and the docs word count is 31,265)

Has his Data-bosses battles on his channel

Proud it only took a couple of tries to beat Yozora (he recorded each try to put his win on his channel)

Uses items all the time, knows when the best time to effectively use items for maximum item usage

“Actual" conversations:

Fave Games:

Itaru: *rambling about some KH2-related topic &/or how he can’t believe Citron hasn’t played 2*

Citron: ooo! Itaru, are you one of those guys who feels Kingdom Hearts peaked at 2?

Itaru: Kingdom Hearts 2 is just an objectively good game, the other games are good too though. KH2 is just, objectively speaking, great. Is it my favorite? Yes, but it’s completely warranted as...

Citron: *smiling as Itaru starts rambling knowing that he’s point two seconds away from going into a 2hr spiel about how KH2 is great*

Itaru: *clears throat catching himself early* A-Anyway, which one’s your favorite?

Citron: Birth by Sleep! I love the ice cream rhythm game :3

Itaru: *understanding that there’s definitely a lot deeper of a reason to that being Citron’s fave* Oh, that’s a good pick. Actually sorta seems on brand for you. Ice Cream Beat is pretty fun.

[Then they boot up Itaru’s copy of BBS and play Ice Cream Beat]

Play Order:

Itaru: So it’s a little late for you to get the full proper experience but we’re gonna play the games in order because it’s really the best way to experience the games.

Citron: Ok, speaking of order and since we’ll get to Birth By Sleep eventually, we both agree that the best way to play the first time is Aqua Terra Ven, yes?

Itaru [has played each route and in varying order, does not quite remember which order he played the game in the first time but is pretty sure it was Terra Ven Aqua]: ...Ven makes a lot of sense to play last...

Citron: Then I am glad we are in agreement. ^^

Itaru: Most people play Aqua last tho--

Citron: Sure chronologically she left Land of Departure last, but story telling-wise *starts talking about why Aqua, Terra, Ven is the best order*

Twewy: (I could do a whole other post on headcanons regarding them playing twewy, it’d maybe be shorter, tho maybe I won’t bcuz I feel like they know more than me lol(I say like Itaru doesn’t know more about KH than me *cries*). If I refer to twewy’s og name wrong here I’m sorry)

Citron: It’s cool that the twewy characters were in DDD. :)

Itaru: Yea. Oh you played subaseka before you met the cast in 3D right?

Citron: :)

Itaru: Right?

[Citron refuses to answer because he thinks leaving Itaru hanging is funnier than a yes or no ever could be]

Ansem SoD as Itaru’s Fave Xehanort:

Citron *three seconds after finding out*: So, is he your favorite because nostalgia as he was the first one you battled or because you think he’s hot?

Itaru: *chokes on being immediately found out because it’s both*

Bonus: Banri & KH Headcanons for no reason other than he also plays games

(With some obligatory Citron and Itaru mentions below because this is their post lol Banri’s not a part of CitoIta. Just to clarify)

Probably has not played all the games

Stares at Itaru whenever he starts talking about secret bosses or hard-to-find treasure chests/secret reports typically until he stops, lists a specific Banri is familiar with or Banri finds a way to shift the conversation. It’s not that he hasn’t come across them he just

doesn’t know which bosses are secret and which aren’t

doesn’t go out of his way to look for treasure chests

Partakes in the memes

Can quote more games than he played honestly, loves those “out of context”/”lines I quote” videos

Has memes saved to his phone

Azami and Taichi borrowed his phone once for picture reasons and Azami was appalled by the Aqua Cinderella meme & the Terra memes (ifykyk)

Probably had Xion’s scream from Days as Sakyo’s someone’s ringtone as a joke (can people set ringtones and ringback tones anymore?) but then he recieved a call from that person in public and was lowkey highkey embarassed so he unset it

He and Citron:

have done a Goofy rendition of Bring Me to Life one time

though Banri sorta begrudgingly participated

At least one Mankai member who was there said he’s not going Karaoke w/ them anymore

are quick to point out or send pictures of “Lucky Emblems” when they see them, it’s almost a contest at this point

Sakyo has asked them to stop sending “lOOk!! a LuCKy emBlem!” in the main chat with a picture of three connected circles, Itaru eggs them on tho

Itaru participates too but he doesn’t have the same luck in seeing them, he is the reason they started tho as in person he pointed one out so later Citron sent a picture of one to show him, so Banri just had to too but he sent two as he already had the pictures and was gonna show them later, so Citron had to find two more to be in the lead and after he found just one more, Banri caught on that they were competing and they spiraled from there

I know logically they don’t appear that often irl but I also know in my heart that it’s happened enough that Taichi, then Kazu and Kumon participated. Now,  the rest of Mankai keeps an eye out for them

Between Tsumugi’s picture of flower bulbs leaning together captioned “Does this count as a lucky emblem?” Izumi asking how many points she gets for a random spot on the ground that sorta looks like a lucky emblem & Omi sending a picture of at lighting set up from work saying “ at this angle this sorta looks like a lucky emblem right?” Sakyo’s feeling a little betrayed because each of those were during times when people weren’t actively mentioning them in the chat.

Winter Troupe is the first troupe to all find at least one “Lucky Emblem”

Autumn troupe (jokingly) blame Sakyo for them not being first

UX Union:

Has probably been in a couple, Ursus or Vulpeus most recently

Favorites:

Game: Dream Drop Distance

but would rather tell you he “hasn’t thought about it, maybe 2″

Trio: Destiny, 

but might not correct you if you guessed Sea Salt,

Character from each group:

Destiny: Riku

He honestly sorta relates in ways. I’m not gonna get too into it but like yea he feels.

Sea Salt: Roxas

Keyblade Knights: Terra, 

but he makes jokes that rag on him a lot so unless you know Banri you would probably think he hates him or just likes to make fun of him. He really does like Terra as a character tho. Feels for him too. But as we know bullying is his love language

Twilight Town: Seifer Pence

Seifer’s a joke fave because of the undeniable proof [they] totally owned [those] lamers (if ykyk)

Lost Trio: Vanitas, 

but Rep’s a close second

Organization 13(minus Sea Salt): Larxene & Xigbar

Foretellers: Luxu (?)

Xkids: Player|Star(light)

DR Underclassmen: Xehanort, “but Bragi’s kinda cool, I guess.”

DR Upperclassmen: *hasn’t actually caught up yet, but he likes Helgi’s design*

Xehanort: Young Master Xehanort(YMX)

Itaru says it’s because they’re both brats

Boss Battle (that he definitely 100% played): 

KH2 Sora v Sephiroth or DDD Riku v YMX [I couldn’t decide which one to list]

Opening:

KH3

Moments/Tidbits:

Involving Fave Trio:

All Three:

KH2

Kairi “calling Riku tf out” ultimately leading to the reunion

KH3

Riku talking with Rep on the beach, Kairi and Sora sees him sitting there by himself

Sora:

KH1

Sora giving his goofy smile before plunging a keyblade into his chest

KH3

Sora dropping down to protect Riku from Dark Aqua in the nick of time

Riku:

DDD

That Riku just subconsciously became a dream eater

KH3

Riku taking a stand against the heartless despite just about all hope being lost

Kairi:

KH2:

Kairi(and Namine) preparing to fight Saix and the berserker nobodies with their bare hands

KH3 Re:Mind

Kairi getting a surprise attack in on Xemnas

Involving someone other than Fave Trio: 

KH3

Yeetus Vanitas

Woody roasting YMX

DDD

YMX & Vanitas spouting “nonsense” at Sora

Lea showing up and Donald & Goofy dropping from the sky, ultimately coming to the rescue

UX

Star ready to square up with the Foretellers

mainly in reference to the Star v Ira speech/scene/fight but the Aced one too

Commonly Quoted(?) Lines from the English Translation: “Mickey it’s Riku, they put bugs in him!” & “Thank you Sora’s heart”

Final things of note:

Always plays on proud mode from the get-go

Not really a completion-ist but does have just about every trophy earned on DDD

Didn’t know you could lose to Yozora in the battle against him

Probably actually more of a Final Fantasy fan than KH, or at least got into KH because the Final Fantasy appearances

Bonus Convos:

Demyx:

Itaru: Yea, I can’t figure out Luxord, for Demyx I’ve seen people guess his name as Myde.

Banri: lol I like the theory that his name is Demyx and he just wandered into the Organization 

Citron: That one is funny, but as far as likelyness goes I like to think his name is Demy and they just slapped an x at the end.

Banri: The laziest naming.

Citron: Exactly!

[and then Banri and Citron start talking about Demyx and it somehow leads them to talking about Goofy’s “death” in KH2 and now they’re talking about KH memes and jokes and Itaru just wanted to know if they had any thoughts on Luxord’s name.]

Vanitas vs Aqua:

Banri: *(possibly somewhat jokingly) insinuates Vanitas is as strong but probably stronger than Aqua*

Citron: *gasp* No!! He is not.

Banri: Really? Then how come he almost took Aqua out?

Citron[genuinely loves Vanitas]: He is a rat! He cannot beat Aqua in a fair fight!

Itaru: I believe he means brat.

Citron: No!! I mean rat, feral ferret child! Can only beat Aqua after biting her and giving her rabies! And even then, she still has at least a week to destroy him.

Itaru: lol that’s quite the metaphor.

Banri: I... *got lost* ???

Itaru: He’s saying Vanitas can only use dirty tricks to even get close to beating Aqua.

Banri: ???

Citron: If Vanitas could beat her he wouldn’t have to result to tricks like firing at Ven, which she was already off her A-game then mind you. But honestly, if Vanitas can’t even get close to beating Terra what hope does he have to actually beat Aqua. I can vouch that he can’t beat Terra. I beat the Terra v Xehanort and Vanitas battle by whacking Vanitas around. It was really easy. Vanitas has only beaten Ven in a fair fight. He’s not nearly as strong as Terra and Aqua. It’s demonstrated through their elements, really. Vanitas is fire...

Banri: *stressed, wasn’t expecting a whole lecture, looks to Itaru for help*

Itaru: *nodding along listening to what Citron has to say*

So yeah those are some of my headcanons involving KH and CitoIta (and Banri with minor Mankai mentions.) If anyone wants to do Taichi(who idk could play already, while I haven’t picked any out I know what type of moments would be his faves, I just can’t figure out yet if he prefers characters he relates to or characters he thinks are cool/want to be like) or Kumon (who I’d feel would want to start after seeing them enjoy it, bet Banri and Citron would have him play chronologically by timeline rather than release order “for science”) or any other characters, really, I’d gladly read it. I can see Taichi & Kumon playing KH but I don’t feel like I know them well enough to do this with them lol. I’m not even sure I know Banri well even to this with him but I attempted it lol. If there’s any questions about my decisions I might answer them, some are easier to put into words than others though. 

Anywho, I dunno how to end this post tbh. Ship CitoIta, Play Kingdom Hearts. idk. 

Thanks for reading all of my nonsense lol.

[sorbriquette]

Fixing Simon Snow: Ch 1-2

Would you believe less than a week after getting an affirmative to the question “should I post fics on tumblr as well as AO3″ I forgot???

So here’s chapter 1 and 2 -

Summary:

Simon Snow, an orphan taken into the guardianship of Davy Mage, has, without his knowledge or consent, been promised to Basilton Pitch. With a catch, if Baz can't fix Simon's behavioural issues and general lack of class, the deal's off. Simon being unwilling and difficult turns out to be a small obstacle in comparison to Baz slowly discovering he doesn't want Simon to change at all.

Note: This is not a historical fiction, it’s an AU of my own creation w/ a lil historic flare

Word Count:  5720

AO3 Link: One || Two

Baz

I was, to say the least, shocked when Father finally relented and found me a male to marry. I was more shocked when I found out who it was.

Heir to the House of Mage. Long-standing enemies of my own family. It must be quite the dowry. And from what I hear it ought to be. Simon Snow is well known to be something of a disaster amongst the nobility. No manners, a terrible conversationalist and far more interested in swordsmanship than any kind of intellectual pursuits.

Davy Mage apparently plucked him out of some orphanage, that's the story he tells people anyway. I've heard more than a few rumours that he's actually Mage's bastard son. I wouldn't be surprised. The man was always more self-righteous than actually righteous and there is something of a resemblance between the two of them.

Frankly though, disaster, bastard, whatever he is, at least he is a he . Last time Father told me he'd organised a possible partner for me he'd brought back Agatha Wellbelove and neither of us were particularly happy with that arrangement. So obviously it didn't work out.

"What's the catch?" I ask my father because he wouldn't fold this easily, not after being so adamant for so long.

I see something tug at the corner of my father's perpetually pursed lips and think maybe I've impressed him. "His father won’t give him away unless you can straighten him out."

I raise an eyebrow at my father. He seems to take my meaning and elaborate.

"I mean, Basilton, that if you want to wed him, you'll have to fix his behavioural issues."

I scoff, "I won't wish to wed him if I can't."

It hangs unspoken between us. My father doesn't think I can manage it. He thinks Snow is just going to press on being trouble and when this falls through that I'll finally accept marriage with a woman.

He's wrong. On both accounts.

I will fix Snow. And if I somehow fail? I don't want him specifically, but I'll still want a him.

But of course, my father thinks it's that simple to just become interested in women. He thinks there's a way that I'll ever be interested in women at all. He's wrong about that too.

I pull myself from the plush chair in my father's office. It's late, I should be turning in. "Anything else Father?"

"He'll be on his way tomorrow," my Father comments, swirling a glass of what I think is wine in one hand as he gazes into the fireplace, "you'll only have a few months, so I wish you luck."

I don't respond. I just nod and leave, wondering if I can keep myself awake long enough that I should get Vera to run a bath.

Simon

I'm not sure what's happening exactly. Just that Mage told me I'm going to spend a few months at Pitch Manor.

Frankly, I don't relish the idea. Mage is always going on about how the Pitches are awful, the absolute embodiment of everything wrong with the world, everything he's trying to fix.

Taxes and associations and secret meetings. That's how he's apparently fixing things, the wealth gap and such. I'm not sure how him owning half the countryside helps fix that. Or how using the taxes to build a militia helps. But that is information that isn't really my business.

This is my business though. Me being shipped halfway across the country into the waiting arms of our enemy. So why didn't he tell me about this?

Just tossed me in a carriage first thing, having some servants tote the few things I own out after me.

A carriage which is now pulling up outside of Pitch Manor.

I'm not scared of them, despite how Mage goes on about them being evil incarnate. I am uneasy though. He didn't even let me grab my sword. Something about not wanting to be seen as sending them a threat. Which if anything, only serves to make this more confusing.

I wonder if I can convince the Pitches to give me a sword? They're probably worried I'd slit their throats in the night. I don't see why I'd need a sword for that though, I could just nick a knife from the kitchens.

The carriage pulls up before I can work out the details of that particular plan.

Just as I reach for the door handle, the carriage door swings open of its own accord. Or it seems someone has opened it for me. Maybe they are the posh gits Mage makes them out to be.

I only become surer of that when I spot them. Malcolm and Basilton Pitch, standing there with twin expressions of apathy. I wonder if it's just some kind of hereditary facial structure or if the whole family gets together to practice those.

Basilton doesn’t look like his father, not completely. His skin is several shades darker and his eyes are a deep grey. Where his hair is stark raven, his father’s is tinged with grey though that’s probably more to do with age than anything. Still, they bear the same sharp features, all edges and lines.

Natasha Pitch was the last line of defence against Mage. The last proper one at least. He talks about it all the time. Though I don’t know the circumstances of her death, we can barely get a few weeks without Mage bringing it up.

Both Pitches seem to examine me, though somehow the younger's gaze is more harrowing than his father's. But maybe that's just because Malcolm Pitch steps forward first.

"Master Snow," he greets offering me a hand.

I reach out and shake it. "Uh, hey," I give him a somewhat weak smile.

Basilton looks like he's just been punched in the gut at that, though his father doesn't seem phased or surprised. My lack of etiquette isn't exactly a secret. There's so many rules and no sense behind any of them. I don't get why anyone would bother with any of that.

I wasn't raised nobility and Mage never took it upon himself to teach me. Just hiring subpar tutors who gave up easily, not used to dealing with quite my calibre of uncouth.

"A pleasure," Malcolm says, mouth pressed into a thin line, "I'll leave Basilton to show you around, I suppose it's important to let you two get acquainted first."

I'm not quite sure what he means by that but I don't question it. It's not like anyone ever answers my questions . Basilton, sullen as he is, is about my age though, so maybe I could get something out of him.

I don't even remember my suitcase until I see a couple of servants carrying it up the steps. I don't ask. No one else seems interested in commenting.

Malcolm retreats, as do basically all of the servants.

Mage always made sure I had a few people with me at all times. I never quite understood why. I never really even saw it as odd, I just assumed it was what nobility did. But they all trickle away back into the manor until it's just me and Basilton.

He holds his arm out at a weird angle, looking pointedly at me for a few moments. I look back, not breaking eye contact but also terribly confused as to what he's doing.

Eventually, he drops his arm and just motions for me to follow him inside. "The grounds are extensive, if I show them to you it will have to be on horseback. So we'll leave that for another day. You are permitted to explore them of course, just don't go too far without someone, we wouldn't want you getting lost or hurt."

Is that a threat? I'm genuinely unsure if he's threatening me or not. I suppose I'll find out in good time. I'd ask now but he's already barrelling on. "The south wing is for leisure," he tells me, holding a door off to the side of a rather expansive main hall open for me. "Music room, library, ballroom," he lists off, leading me through each and giving me some commentary as he does.

It doesn't help, not really. And frankly, I don't really listen. We're on our way back to the entrance hall when I finally ask my question. "It's lovely and all, really," I open with because I'm not great at these things but I don't try to be rude, "but why am I here."

A crack appears in Basilton's uncaring mask for but a moment. Eyes widening and mouth falling open for the shortest time before he gathers himself, brushing a few errant strands of hair back out of his face. "Mage didn't tell you?"

I just shake my head. He seems to know at least, whether or not he'll tell me is a different story.

Basilton pinches the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, inhaling slowly, "Even when he's cooperating, he's an annoyance." Usually, I'd object, stand up for Mage, he gave me a home after all. But right now, it is annoying and I think Basilton might give me answers so I keep my mouth shut. "We are to be wed," he explains.

"Who?"

I thought that perhaps his exasperation was at its peak, but apparently, that's the one emotion he doesn't mind showing. "You and I, Snow."

I do a double take, staring at Basilton as I process what he's saying. The longer it goes on the higher his eyebrow rises and the more pressured I feel to say something, but all I can articulate is, "no."

Basilton seems unphased and shrugs, "somehow I doubt you have a say in the matter."

"Do you?" I ask, still, completely aghast Mage has delivered into the midst of our enemy and now wants me to marry one of them.

He exhales, his head tilting side to side, "somewhat."

"Do you even want to marry me?"

"Not as you are."

I don't try to stop my face from contorting into a scowl, "as I am?" I press.

He raises a hand between us before gesturing to all of me. "Boorish," he supplies.

Boorish. What a prat. I want to hit him but I'm worried that will only prove his point. "So we're calling this off then?"

It's a relief, really, I didn't want to marry him when he wasn't being an arse, I want to even less now.

But he shakes his head and ushers me along into another wing of the house. "Definitely not, I just have a couple of months to fix you."

"Fix me?" It basically comes out as a hiss. I'm not sure I've ever sounded so annoyed before. But I'm also not sure I've ever been this insulted.

"Yes," he says, casually, callously and with that same bored expression across his face, "I will not take a husband who acts like a brute."

"I won’t be taking you as a husband at all," I snap back, his calm only stoking my rage.

Basilton scoffs merely walking me through rooms now instead of explaining them. Dining room, kitchen, a stupidly fancy lounge and down a corridor to what I think is bedrooms. "Then you'll have to discuss it with your father. Besides, it's not like anyone else would want you."

For every ounce of anger in me, he seems twice as stoic and I want nothing more than to wipe that smug look off his face. So, I do it the only way I know how. I draw my arm back and swing at him.

I don't think he was expecting it because I clock him right in the nose and he stumbles back, blood dripping down his front to stain his shirt and his waistcoat. Maybe I'll regret that later. Maybe I should feel bad. Right now, though I'm just glad to have shut him up.

I don't think anyone’s ever hit him before because he blinks a few times before regathering his composition.

I expect him to come back at me with a sneer and some biting words. Maybe I've misjudged him though because instead a fist connects with my jaw and it's my turn to stumble back.

"Fuck," I curse, rubbing my face and gearing up to jump at him again.

Someone interrupts us though.

"Well that didn't take long, what did you say to him, Baz," a voice pipes up from beside us.

I'm so used to being chastised that it takes me a moment to realise she's not talking to me.

"The truth," Basilton- Baz- says as he draws a handkerchief from his waistcoat and uses it to wipe the blood from his face, "that he's unrefined and unwanted."

The girl, (woman?) steps in between us. She's shorter than me and rounder than most but she seems to be trying to size Baz up and I feel immediately fond of her for it. Her hair is a strikingly unnatural blue (I didn't even know hair came in blue) and her glasses are thick both in terms of lenses and the way they curve out past the edges of her face at a point.

"Snow, this is Bunce, she helps along the wear and tear on our library as well doing countless other useless and annoying things," Baz says, still pinching the bridge of his nose but aside from that, you'd think he was in perfect health.

The girl holds out a hand to me and I take it, "Penelope," she corrects, "anyone who's not an utter prick can call me Penelope, or Penny."

For all the words laden with insult, neither Baz nor Penny seems particularly annoyed at the other. If anything, I think I see the corner of Baz's mouth twitch up ever so slightly, but I'm probably just imagining things.

"Uh, Simon," I manage, letting my hand fall from rubbing my jaw to clasp hers.

"Oh, I know, my parents tutor the Pitches, so they'll be giving you lessons too." She doesn't let go of my hand, pulling me off down the corridor. "I show him to his room, Baz."

Baz doesn't protest, just waves her off with his free hand and turns around.

"What's his problem?" I ask Penny before Baz is entirely out of earshot.

"You'll need to be more specific."

That makes me laugh, but laughter only serves to reignite the pain in my jaw. "What's his problem with me?"

Penny shrugs, "I don't think you were what he's been hoping for."

For all his faults (and I've only known him less than an hour but I know they are many) he's still attractive and he has money and status, so I'm not sure why he isn't just getting whomever he wants. It's not like it would be hard for him.

"What is he hoping for?"

Penny looks me up and down for a moment, dropping my hand when she seems confident that I'm going to follow. "I'm not sure. I don't think he's sure either, really."

I don't press her further, I'm not even sure what question to ask.

"This is your room," she tells me pushing open a door to reveal a room far larger and more elaborately decorated than any room has a right to be. "Someone's already brought your things up though somehow I doubt the Pitches will let you wear them," she nods to a trunk at the foot of the stupidly large four-poster bed, "I can only assume there's still hope for you to escape if Baz hasn't just burnt them."

"What's wrong with the way I dress?"

Penny gives me a once over. I follow her gaze over my patched tunic, loose pants and worn boots. Admittedly, I probably did look like a servant standing next to Baz earlier. Or maybe someone else's servants, because all his have waistcoats and cravats as well.

"Where do all those taxes Mage demands go if none is left over to buy you new clothes," she says reaching out and tugging at a piece of tunic that's been sewn closed where it tore.

I try not to pout. "I don't know, you think he tells me?"

She shrugs, "well he certainly doesn't tell us," she smiles at me a moment, genuinely, everything about her feels genuine. "Baz will probably have someone summon you for lunch soon, so best of luck."

I don't need to ask her why she's wishing me luck. I had little more than a few moments with Basilton Pitch and I feel like all the luck in the world will be little help against him.

I don't ask why she's leaving or try to stop her. I need the time alone to prepare for this. To figure out what in the hell is going on here and how to put an end to it.

Chapter 2

Simon

Baz does summon me for lunch maybe he expected me to change because he looks me up and down with the same judgement as Penny but tenfold.

He's changed, but I suppose he had to since his last lot of clothes got covered in blood. Somehow his waistcoat has only gotten more extravagant though, embroidered with gold thread and fabric the same black as his hair.

He's so fucking pretentious.

The rest of his family does not join us to eat. When I mention it he just brushes me off with something about me not being fit to eat with his family. Or him. But apparently, I'm his 'responsibility' or something equally annoying.

So, we eat in the garden, which isn't altogether unpleasant. It's not raining but it's not exactly sunny either. Still, the plants are well tended and the patio we eat on is nestled between hedges and feels oddly private. I'm not even sure I'd be able to find my way here if not for the servant who led me.

Baz sits opposite me, on a cushioned chair with one leg crossed over the other, seemingly more interested in me than the food.

I mightn't like Baz but this food is amazing. There are roast beef sandwiches and pastries and some of the nicest tea I've ever had. Baz wrinkles his nose when I sully it with loads of milk but I pay him no heed, dumping several spoons of sugar in after and looking him dead in the eye as I do it.

And the scones.

The scones .

They're amazing. Probably the best thing I've ever eaten and I'm sure they're freshly baked because when I spread butter over them it melts until they're soaked through and butter starts trickling down the sides.

Baz looks less impressed. Maybe because this is regular for him or maybe just because he enjoys looking unimpressed. It's hard to tell. He just pokes food around his plate and every time he eats something he does so with knife and fork, even the bloody sandwiches.

It's unsettling. Him giving me all this food. Nice even.

"Do you like it?" he asks me, obviously doing his best to make it seem like he doesn't care to hear my answer. He waits for it anyway.

I nod vigorously, crumbs flying across the table as I say, "Yeah, it's amazing."

I see his mouth twitch up into a sneer, looking positively disgusted by me. "Well enjoy it, because until we teach you some proper manners, this is the last time you'll be enjoying anything other than roasts and gruel."

My mouth clacks shut though the noise is largely muffled by the food I have to bite through to make the gesture. Does he really think that a roast is the kind of food you serve as punishment?

"You seem to particularly like the scones, so I think we'll give you those back last."

He's evil. Actually, properly evil. The kind of evil you get hired to put a sword through, not forced to marry.

"That's bullshit," I snap at him when I finally manage to swallow my food. Or mostly swallow it. I can feel it slowly moving down my throat and it hurts but I try not to let it show.

Baz leans forward, not in interest but to rest his elbow on the table and perch his chin in his hand. Certainly not proper etiquette but I doubt he'd bother with it around me. He certainly seems more 'do as I say not as I do'. "And yet every time you open your mouth, either to speak or to shovel food into it, you make me more sure it's a necessity."

I gulp down tea, trying to make it seem like I just need a drink and not letting him know I'm trying to wash down the brick of food slowly making its way down my oesophagus.

"Enjoy it while you can Snow," he tells me, still watching me like he knows exactly how much I'm suffering right now, "it will be the last time you get scones. But do hurry up, I need to show you the stables."

Baz

When I was younger, I was more idealistic about the man I would end up with. And when I was much younger, I thought it would be a woman but that's beside the point.

With each potential wife my father tried to pitch me, and every girl he tried to make me talk to at a ball, I slowly started hacking away at that ideal. Settling for less. Just wanting a man instead of the perfect one.

I was not, however, expecting my standards to sink so low as Simon Snow.

He's the opposite of everything I'd always dreamed of.

I want someone who'll debate me and he didn't so much as look up in the library, so he's obviously not intellectual.

It was always a long shot but I wanted another musician, piano maybe, so we could play a duet. Snow seems minimally interested in music as well.

Obviously, he'd have been well mannered and clean cut and charming. Not charming to me, I don't particularly care about that, but charismatic certainly. Enough to engage with the other nobility with me. Enough to offset my sour disposition. Enough to convince my father that this hypothetical man was truly as perfect as I thought. So, my father would like him. So, my father would let me keep him.

Snow though?

Snow can barely string a sentence together and even then, it's littered with 'uhm's and 'ah's.

General attractiveness was important but less essential to the rest I suppose. That is the one category in which Snow excels though.

He's gorgeous.

Bronze curls I want to run my fingers through. They look so soft and they bounce a little when he walks, turning almost golden when the light catches them at the right angle. Making my breath catch when that happens.

And tawny skin spattered with moles and freckles. I want to trace my fingertips from dot to dot along his skin. I want to trace the same lines with my lips. And my tongue.

His blue eyes are so very plain but if they weren’t, I think it would all be a bit much. Too much going on, nothing to focus it. They add balance, like he's a work of fucking art specifically designed to ruin me.

I can only see so much of it under ill-fitting clothing but his body seems nice too. Broad shouldered and tall (but importantly, not taller than me). He seems a bit on the slim side but that won’t be an issue with the way he eats. I mightn't be inclined to give him decadent things just yet, but they will be plentiful.

I suppose that's part of all this though. I can take the stupid, uncultured, stunning, catastrophe that Snow is and shape him into what I want. Exactly what I want. Books, piano, polite conversation and all.

Maybe.

If I can pull this off.

We walk in silence to the stables. Well, it would be silent if not for Snow's insistence that he breathe through his mouth. I comment on it multiple times but he just brushes me off.

I think he's still mad about the scones.

Simon

I'm still mad about the scones.

I stay mad about the scones all through the walk to the stables.

I think I'll stay mad about the scones forever maybe.

It is a long trek to the stables. They're on the other side of the house from the garden where we ate and the walk there gives me time to appreciate how truly massive Pitch Manor is. Not even the estate, which sprawls on further than the eye can see, just the house itself is enormous.

Enormous but far from empty.

From what I can gather the servants live on the premises, as do the staff. Penelope and her parents (and people I think might be her siblings that I've passed in the halls). I wouldn't be surprised if the stable hands live here too. There's certainly the space for it.

Baz keeps making snippy comments. About my breathing, about my posture, about the way I walk.

I do my best to ignore him. Because I think maybe he just wants a rise. But also, because I know I won’t get a proper retort out and will just end up taking another swing at him.

I don't know what I expected when we got to the stables. A load of horses being doted on. And while there is certainly that, I did not expect a pretty young girl to be tending to them.

"Wellbelove," Baz greets with a nod as we approach.

The girl starts some, appearing completely enamoured with the horse she's brushing. "Basilton," she offers a sweet smile, blonde hair fluttering through the air around her as she turns. Her eyes rest on me for a moment and I start to wish that I had changed before coming here. "Finally got one you want then?"

It's more statement than a question but Baz still replies, "Unfortunately not."

Wellbelove seems to look confused for a moment but she still affixes me with a smile and offers me a delicate hand. I shake it, unsurely, and she and Baz exchange a glance.

"Agatha Wellbelove," she introduces herself with what I think is a curtsey.

"Uh- Simon Snow," I return with a nod.

She and Baz exchange another glance.

"I need you to teach him to ride."

I swivel to look at Baz, unlike him, I don't have to fake my emotions as I look completely affronted. "What?"

Baz completely ignores me, keeping his gaze trained on Agatha and not even giving me a sideways glance, "You have him for two hours then I'll come back and get him."

"What?" My words are more outraged then and joined by an exclamation of Agatha's.

Baz just turns on his heel and walks away from both of us after a bored, "thank you, Wellbelove."

"Basil." Agatha makes a noise something like an irritated snap but far more elegant.

I square my shoulders and set off after Baz, causing Agatha to protest again, "Simon."

"Oi," I snap, grabbing at his shoulder but perhaps hitting him before has set him on edge because he sidesteps me.

Baz spins back around to face me, still just looking bored. "What?"

Honestly, I hadn't planned this far, so I stand there sputtering for a few moments, "I just- I don't - why-"

Baz groans and puts a hand to his forehead like I've somehow disappointed him yet again. "Surely you can manage a sentence, come on Snow, just one."

I effectively growl, "I can't ride."

"Well, Wellbelove will teach you, now go." He points a finger over my shoulder, looking far too much like someone trying to direct a disobedient dog for my liking.

I stand a little taller and affix him with a glare, "Fuck off, I'm not your pet."

"No, I'm sure most pets are much smarter than you."

"I'm sure there are plenty that are less of a bitch than you." I snap back and Baz just raises an eyebrow, "dogs, I'm talking about literal bitches."

Baz gives me a long slow look, pursing his lips, eyebrow still raised. "I got it, it just wasn't very good. Now go get on a horse and hopefully you'll have something better in two hours."

"But-"

Baz just turns away again and I feel a hand on my elbow as Agatha appears beside me. It makes me jump but her touch is light and gentle so I don't flinch away.

"Trust me, the horses have much better manners, come on," she pulls me in the opposite direction as Baz either ignores or doesn't hear us.

As it happens, Agatha is great.

Horses, I don't like. But Agatha is great. Even if she does give me a withering look every few minutes that stings as badly as Baz's insults. She doesn't make me ride around or anything, takes her sweet time introducing me to all the horses, I forget nearly all their names but I savour not having to ride any of them for a while.

Then she makes me lead one them around, which is also not awful.

But then she makes me ride one. Not properly, I just sit on it and she leads the horse around. She seems more interested in the horses than me but we still chat, if only because it helps distract me.

"So, do you live here?" I ask hesitantly.

Agatha makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. "God no, my family has an estate an hour's ride away, I'm just here for the stables." She enunciates her point by giving the horse I'm atop a gentle pet. If the way it jostled me as it walked wasn't enough to prevent me blocking out the horse, then that brings me sharply back to reality.

"You don't have horses?"

Really the words estate combined with Agatha's frankly upper-class demeanour make me wonder why she wouldn't.

Agatha gives a heavy sigh, "Mage took them for his military."

She seems disappointed, annoyed, a little hurt even, it makes me feel bad. I know I shouldn't, what Mage does isn't my problem, but still.

"And he didn't take Baz's?"

"He tried," Agatha mutters, "Malcolm threw a fit, or as much of one as he can manage without seeming upset or making any facial expressions. And Fiona said she'd burn down the barn and slit all the horses’  throats before she let Mage take them." She grimaces as she speaks, "They don't even like them, they just don't want Mage to have them."

"Fiona?" I ask, pulling Agatha from her thoughts and the frown across her face.

"Baz's aunt, on his mother's side," she explains, obviously seeing the frown on my face and continuing, “she lives in town, not here, prefers to be able to get to the tavern easily. Prefers ale and drunkards to champagne and nobles."

Honestly, compared to everyone here and their perpetual sneers, she sounds like a breath of fresh air. But Agatha crinkles her nose as she speaks, obviously not particularly fond of this Fiona.

Agatha leads my horse back into the stable. I don't so much get off as fall off, landing on my arse on the stable floor, my only solace being that I don't land in a pile of horse shit. Agatha keeps it quite clean in here, not herself of course, mainly by snapping or batting her eyes at stable hands.

I hear laughter, with a snort in its midst and then faux coughing as Baz tries to cover it up. Not so perfect after all I suppose.

"Does me learning to be a fancy prick involve having to laugh like that?"

Baz's expression quickly contorts back into a glower, banishing the thought that he's capable of feeling any kind of positive emotions. "Step one is teaching you how to stand, instead of rolling around on the floor like an infant." He snaps back, tilting his head to the side and giving me the most condescending look I've ever seen.

Before I can respond Agatha cuts in, "You two are acting like you're married already," she sighs, leading the horse away, shooting me an unconcerned look at where I'm still laying on the floor.

If the glare I give her is annoyed, Baz's is downright livid. She doesn't pay much heed to either.

"Snow," Baz says, getting my attention back and giving me a pointed look.

"What now?"

"Get off the ground the horses defecate on and go get changed for dinner."

I frown at him, getting to my feet. "Are we eating with your parents?"

"No, we've been through this, you are far from ready for that."

We have been through that, but it doesn't really make sense. "Then why do I have to change?"

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Because I don't want a dinner companion who smells like horse."

Agatha sticks her head out of the stable, glowering at Baz, "there is nothing wrong with horses."

"Not if they're the main course, certainly not," Baz says and Agatha looks like she may hit him, "but if Snow smells like one, with the way he eats, he would be indistinguishable. If perhaps less well-groomed than your horses Wellbelove."

"Fuck off," I snap at Baz, feeling the overwhelming urge to hit him again. Really that is the main emotion Baz makes me feel it seems.

Baz seems amused at my response but Agatha crinkles her nose in distaste at my language, "I concur, both of you please-" she hesitates obviously hesitant to choose the same phrase as me, "leave."

"Gladly," Baz sighs, turning away and walking off again, beckoning me to follow over his shoulder.

I stand my ground out of pure spite.

It takes him a moment to realise and then rounds on me arms folded, "Snow, let me be clear, unless you bathe and change, you aren't getting dinner. I don't care if it happens now, or tonight or not for a week, I'm not eating with you unless you're clean and you're not eating unless it's with me."

I groan and trudge on after him, wondering if there will be any knives at dinner sharp enough to end him.

[hyperesthesias]

Loki x Sigyn

Drabble: Secret Garden

Rating: G

Words: 2.750

Notes: based on @serafina-constantine‘s post. it got way longer than i intended it to. enjoy. ♥

She was beautiful, this much he knew -- though he knew not anything else about her: her name, from whence she came, why her hair was so long and how it seemed to glow in the morning’s light. He knew not how she came to tend to his mother’s garden, or how it seemed her very presence made the withering blooms spring to life again, as if there was something merely about her step that could breathe life into every little thing -- even the ice round his heart. 

He could see her from the vast, arched window in what was now his office -- though it had not always been so. He presumed Odin had the archway made so he could see his own wife through the space, observing her wont of walk throughout the gardens, misting the flowers, pruning them with the help of a servant or two. But he could not dare to imagine such things for long, for fear of the shell that he carefully wound round himself to crack and reveal either his true face, or more frightening -- his true heart. Yet, from what he knew, what he understood, his mother’s gardens had not been touched in some long while, that the once vibrant verdant had withered into a coarse brown, that it seemed nearly none could revive its hopelessness. Or, perhaps, that was merely some inward thought of himself expressed through other means.

Nonetheless, he still knew not who she was -- though her countenance, the way her hair moved, the way she swayed as she glided from one rosebush to another, the breath of air she moved upon as she hummed quietly to herself, or the flowers, taking in every moment that passed her -- and nothing seemed to pass her, but everything seemed to be either absorbed by her, or emanating from her, he could not tell completely -- she seemed somewhat familiar. And every so often, while he looked on her in his predecessor’s form, she would catch his gaze if only for a glance, and bow with utmost respect, and an altogether most familiar simper. Though, he refused to be unsettled, and he refused to be denied knowledge of her -- this mysterious muse, and muses were tricky things, meant to be heeded.

But he knew better than to approach her in the old man’s form -- thus, one day, before she arrived, Loki transformed himself into the visage of a younger man, though not himself, neither anyone known in the palace: a new face, one he hoped she might enjoy, but above all, trust. He waited for her below the shade of two entwined trees, watching for her down the little brown path that wound through the gardens, plucking at the petals of a flower he’d picked, listening for the sounds of her footsteps to surprise her when she approached.

“It took me many months to revive that bush,” a voice startled him from beside him, and he drew a sharp breath to meet the eyes of the culprit, but they were backlit by the brightness of the day.

He stood, rising above the figure, until they came into view: the woman, with that same knowing grin spread across those pink lips. He couldn’t help but match it: “Surely, a blooming bush does not miss one rose,” he tossed the thing aside.

“Does a mother miss her children?” she raised her brow, and set her basket full of tools on the bench as she began to rummage through it.

What oddness! What splendid oddity, that he wanted nothing more than to know her in her entirety -- filled inside with a festering curiosity that he felt had no bounds. “Do you miss yours?” he asked, coyly.

She eyed him, finding him not altogether subtle, and she snipped the stem of the rose he’d plucked so another may grow in its place. “The flowers are my children -- precious gifts given me.”

“By whom?”

“The Queen, some few years ago,” she answered, a wistfulness clenching her throat -- she did not like to talk of the Queen Frigga often, if only because she missed her so. She had been as a mother to her of this Realm, having patience with her differences, teaching her to till earth and cultivate seeds, as one should till peace and cultivate hearts. “She took mercy upon me, and allowed me under her wing -- almost every day we would spend together, tending this earth, I know it as I would my own family.”

“And your family -- they are here?” he asked, knowing now that he had recognised her as the girl at his mother’s side, but not recalling her or anyone like her in the palace.

“To the earth they have returned,” she said, glancing at him for a moment as she paused: “And yours?”

He was taken aback by the question -- if only mildly. He should have expected it to be reciprocated, but found he had no answer prepared. Thus, surrounded by green and hues of summer, he thought only of his mother: “To the earth.”

She hummed, staying quiet for a moment, before she nodded: “Then I am sorry.”

It was the first time he’d heard such condolence. Others sent their grief to the King of Asgard, when he was disguised as her husband, but none had spoken peace to him as merely himself. Then again, as he looked down, seeing shoes not his own, hands not his own -- he supposed none still had as of yet. “As I am for you,” he returned, sincere, but finding a wall within his tone.

“Thank you,” she smiled, readying herself to leave for another part of the garden, making one more snip as she handed him a blossom: “This is for you, then -- to keep you company,” she took his hand and placed it gently in his palm.

It had been many, many hundreds of years since he’d been given a flower -- when he was a child, in fact, clouded with young innocence. He was captivated by it for a moment as he drew a breath, finding he was unsure what to say. But as he closed his fingers round it, to protect it, not to crush it, he looked up, finding she had already walked some distance away. “As beautiful as it is, my lady, I would much rather your company over that of an inanimate flower.”

But she only glanced over her shoulder and smiled.

Thus, day after day, he would wait for her at the bench under the tree -- though no more flowers did he pick on his own, instead, she would grant him a flower at the end of their excursion throughout the garden together, where often he would offer to help. He started by holding her basket, holding her tools, or handing her something she required -- she much didn’t trust a stranger to touch the Queen’s flowers, but she did not entirely want him away from her presence. It was rather the opposite: they spoke easily with each other, more honest within the walls of the garden than those of the palace, a freedom among the fresh air, that even Loki had taken the chance of telling her about his loneliness since his family had passed -- though he did not admit who that family was. And eventually, when they seemed to bare each others’ secrets with one another, did she allow him a spade -- he counted it as an honour. 

She held no judgments against him, she did not ask why he wished to be there so often, she did not pry into him, neither criticise his admiration of the collection of flora -- as some others had when he was young. She merely accepted him. A foreign feeling, but one he had craved all his life, that he never wanted to part with her; he wished to remain in the confines of their garden forever, never to be seen by others, or to be bothered again. The throne made no difference any more, for its acceptance was not real, it was an illusion -- and while he still had not shown her his true form, he found he had never been so honest as when he was with her. 

���Sigyn,” her named rolled off his tongue -- that he felt when he spoke it, he was speaking not her name, but a bewitchment, and he was placed under a spell.

She looked up at him, from her work of the soil, dusting her hands on the dress over her legs as she sat up, searching him as he paused. “Are you alright?” she asked, leaning a little closer to him. “What is it?” 

The way she spoke -- she sounded much like his mother: the care of her words, the way they seemed to envelope him, he looked to her with a quieted heart, a rarity that he should find contentment. And how could he lie to something so pure? that would give him such peace and goodness? The one spark of innocence in all the Realms, that he had the honour of being in her presence -- how could he deceive her? 

He sighed, sitting back on his legs as he set down his spade. “I have relished every moment in this garden,” he began, but did not continue.

She waited for some while for him to speak again, but he refused. A hesitant breath, and she wiped from his brow a smudge of dirt. “You speak as though you mean not to return.”

He looked to her, somewhat ashamedly. So clearly could she pierce his heart, he did not know how much longer he could keep up his ruse around her. 

But his quietness said enough, and she nodded as she looked down at the row they’d made together -- seeds packed within it, that new life should spring from them. “If you must leave,” she let a shuddered breath -- everyone always left, “I bid you must not leave empty handed.” She cut a young sapling from a flowering bunch just in her reach, and tucked it behind his ear. “Plant it, watch it grow -- that you may not forget me.” Everyone always forgot.

He pressed her hand there, against his temple, against his cheek -- the one good thing that he had not unearthed, but that had come to him, willingly, and he found he could not stay. “I can never forget you.”

But she said nothing in return. 

Some while passed before he saw her through the window again -- but every day, he would water her gift to him, her child, diligently, watching as its green limbs outstretched to the daylight and breathed with the cool air wafting through the palace halls. He noted some of her creations in the garden had grown withered again, drying up in the harsh light without a drop to soothe them; he watched them live, he watched them die -- as he would with many things in his exceptionally long life, he reasoned. There was no reason to be so sentimental over such frivolous things. But he knew it was not the flowers for which he felt his armour clad heart shudder -- it was the sweet humming that filled the air when she meandered about the grass, it was the way she would hop over fresh blossoms, so as not to crush them, it was they way she would speak to the plants that were ill, wishing them good health, caressing them with such softness. 

It was her. 

And he had let her go. 

He worried over her absence, he worried over the plots she’d made that had just begun their lives -- the seeds they’d planted together. It was foolish, weak, and childish, he knew it -- or, he wished he did -- but he could not watch their young leaves suffer from brilliant green to the black of death. Thus, he agreed with himself, he would water them -- just this once. Give them some fighting chance until she returned, for she had to return, he had to believe such. 

He escaped into the garden, ensuring no one saw him in his own true form -- gathered a pitcher of water, and stole to the back of the garden, where their saplings sighed with grief of their parched roots. He lent a finger to some of them, stroking their leaves tenderly, mimicking as she had done -- hoping that whatever goodness she had spawned in him would be enough to revive them as he drizzled the water atop the plot, whispering to them some reassurance.

“There we are,” he mused, ignoring the feeling of foolishness in him -- there were none around to see or hear him, only the saplings as they listened. “Your mother will return, I’m sure of it. She means not to abandon you, don’t think like that -- and if you must blame someone, blame me,” he misted them again as he swallowed. “I fear I may have hurt her irreparably. But she is strong, this much I know, and that she loves you, each of you.” He sighed and sat back, observing his work as the saplings remained ever quiet. He set down the pitcher beside him and dragged a hand down his face. “What am I doing,” he feared loneliness may have become his undoing after all. 

But he was not alone -- Sigyn always haunted the garden, making her way through its greenery to the source of the foreign voice she’d heard at its back wall, when she came across a figure dressed in green. She smiled, leaning against a tree, watching as he spoke to the young ones, taking mercy on them, just as his mother had on her. 

“You came back,” she breathed but did not move an inch.

He jumped to his feet and whirled around, finding Sigyn standing behind him. “I -- I’ven’t any idea of --”

“You’ve no need to lie,” she stopped him, a melancholy in her voice as she stepped through the grass to him. “I know who you are.”

“What?” he felt every ounce of colour drain from his face. 

“I knew who you were, Prince,” then she stopped herself and made a small bow -- this time with more of a tease in her curtsy as she smiled. “Forgive me -- King.”

His blood ran cold, not from its usual iciness, but with fear of how he might contain the situation, if there should be any compromise or if any other malice might come from her. But he stopped, watching as she rose to smile at him, that knowing and a gladdened simper. She meant him no harm, she never did -- if she’d known all along. She knew who he was, she knew his name, his reputation, what he’d done, and still...she wished his company. 

“How did you know?” he watched as she moved past him to retrieve the pitcher, and begin her duty again of watering her charges. 

“How do you think I brought back this garden from its death?” she asked as she looked back at him, nudging with a gentle finger, a few flowers that had wilted over and onto the grass below them. 

And with her touch, he watched as their colour returned to them, and the strength in their stalks brought their faces to the sky again -- and the death that once was had been chased away by the gift of life.

“You are not the only one blessed with magic,” she smiled, containing her happiness as she moved to the next section and the next. “I could sense your magic the moment I saw you -- much like your mother’s. I knew who you were, I let no strangers wander into this sacred place.” 

He stood there, nearly entirely absent of words, unsure if he should be offended that he, the trickster, had been tricked, or grateful that he had been wrong. He settled somewhere in between -- coming beside her as he gently placed an arm about her to stroke his hand against her cheek; he could only admire her, for he had never seen such a creature, and he never wanted to let her go. “Then let me never be a stranger to it again.”

She allowed him to place his arm around her, resting there as she placed her hands against his breastplate. “How glad I am to hear you say so, my King.”

[aberrantchaser-blog]

The Lego Ninjago Movie Spoiler full Review

Table of Contents: Personal Background, Review, crush/love letter, Ambivalent, Things I wish they: expanded on, had, had done, Irritated slightly by, kept in, noticed.  The things I enjoyed: thought clever, funny, lessons, liked, tugging on Heart Strings, Fun observations. 

Background I’m not part of the Ninjago show fandom (though I have seen spitbrix’s & tannerfishies’s videos on the subject). I just saw the 1st TLNM trailer on May 21st & have been intrigued ever since & somewhat crushing on Lloyd Garmadon for 4 months.  My crush kind of died yesterday, after I’d seen the film twice. Why? read on to find that out, & what I thought of the film in general.

Review If I were to give this film a letter grade it’d be a C, not an A as it didn’t do everything right, not a B as it didn’t have only a few missteps, but not a F because I don’t think the film failed so badly as to warrant that grade, or a D for barely passing.  

No the final grade I’m giving this film is C for average, not extremely good or extremely bad, just in the middle, maybe somewhat forgettable to general audiences.  To me at least this film causes me enough pain to want to forget it sometimes.  

When this film lands it lands well, the heart of the story is well executed, when it doesn’t stick the landing it drags the score/grade down, but not enough to ruin 100% the film/or my experience of it.

Sure I came out of the film feeling mainly disappointed, I had spent around 3 hours with the film, & $15.59 for my 2nd viewing, but just because it disappointed me doesn’t mean I want other people to not see it, or for this film to bomb at the box office, as I’d like the Lego aesthetic to still be present on the big screen, & would like Lego to do well on future films advertising in house brands.

In crush terms, yo Lloyd the makers of the film set up a great profile (marketing) for you, yet the “date” I went on with you showed that you weren’t as great as your profile set you up to be.  The allure, intrigue, mystery I felt for you made me want to get to know you, & your story was wanting. The charm you showcased in trailers also seem to have been lost/cut out in your film.  (I had hoped that your film would make me fall for you more, that the time I spent obsessing over you wasn’t wasted, that you as a whole would be worthy of my attention when I finally got to see your story.) I suppose 1 sad irony of this situation is that I wasn’t able to take my owned/your representative minifig to see you on the big screen on the day of your film’s premiere.

& Yet your platonic chemistry with your dad, your desperation in wanting to fill that dad shaped hole in your life, & you working through your mixed emotions on your dad was what saved your film for me.

In short you weren’t a horrible date, but you weren’t the best you could have been either. Like your mom who expected the best of your dad, & her wanting the best for you, I too expected the best showing from you, which I didn’t get, but I still do want the best for you despite that disappointment, just maybe not with me in whatever possible futures still exist.    

The rest of this post will be a list of either emotions, followed by what parts of the film invoked that emotion in me, or things I wish the film had done, & maybe not done or likes & dislikes.    

Ambivalent: I’m not sure this film should get a sequel.  I’m also unsure about recommending this film.  

Expanding on Lloyd being bullied. Dorling Kindersley hereby abbreviated to DK’s Essential Guide memorably detailed the harassment Lloyd faced in school, producing a spirited protective response among fans, the book also generated sympathy for Lloyd in me, but that sympathy really had nowhere to go in the film.

Kate Howard’s adaptation of the film into the jr novel did flesh this issue out as well, 1 memorable exchange being Kai offering a hug out the anxiety/stress thing, + articulating that Lloyd was finding it tougher to cope with the ostracization.  

Things I wish they:

Expanded on Koko’s backstory. The team’s camaraderie.

Had: More Martial Arts. For a martial arts film, this film has a surprising lack of it.  Only showcase of martial arts moves I recall is Lord Garmadon vs Wu, & slightly during Garmadon’s 2nd attack, with Wu beating up mooks while Lloyd steals the Ultimate Weapon, hell Wu gets most close quarters combat scenes!  Only scene involving other people were when the ninjas were fighting Garmadon’s many fired generals, & that scene was too brief.  The ninjas return to the city after Garmadon steals the Ultimate Ultimate Weapon is more of a showcase of each ninja’s individual elemental powers, not martial arts. The Ninja Formation Featurette set up my expectations to be high, I’m disappointed at the result. (especially considering I had forbidden kingdom on the brain when I went to see the film.)

When DK’s Essential Guide bought up the ninjas relying too much on their mechs, I didn’t know the issue would extend to the majority of action/fight scenes in the film.

I really wish they had kept in that scene with Lloyd & the baby which they showcased in Trailer 1 + Outtakes, especially what they had in outtakes! That showed good physical comedy reminiscent of Jackie Chan’s old work. At least we would have 1 ninja having time to adequately showcase their martial abilities/skills.  

More time, really felt like film was too short to do all it could have.  

More interior shots of the Destiny’s Bounty.

Had done: Had the ninjas use their personal weapons. DK’s Essential Guide as well as the 1st time we saw the ninja in Trailer 1, hyped me up for that.  

Instead both above issues/scenes are kept to the 1st few scenes of Good Morning Ninjago.  

Speaking of the other ninja, while I expected this film to lean more to Lloyd + friends, instead of being a true ensemble piece, & expecting not to be disappointed with that, I am surprisingly sad about the other ninjas not each getting much time to shine.  Hell if I hadn’t read the Essential Guide or seen the Behind the Bricks Featurette, I likely would have no or very little sense of their personalities.

A more personal beef was I wish they could have showcase Lloyd’s dragon mech more.  It hurt when the mechs got totaled by Meowthra, but it didn’t hurt as much as it could have.  Wish the film could have shown us the Ninja 1st debuting the mechs, then montage the ensuing status quo of ninja mechs beat garmadon, that would have made it really hit home when the mechs weren’t able to beat the Garma Mecha Man, signifying a change of the status quo in Lord Garmadon’s favor, & have the pain of the mechs being lost hurt that much more when Meowthra totals them.

Like Ghost in the Shell Have a montage of the city to get to know the place, Lloyd parkouring home after the 1st day isn’t enough, all that have 1 or all of the Ninja be able to take a moment & just appreciate their city, find it beautiful, like that mind controlled garbage guy did vs the Major in her invisibility suit.

Dorling Kindersley hereby abbreviated to DK’s Essential Guide + The Making of the Movie excerpts made me really interested in Ninjago City, just a shame we didn’t get to explore it more.

DK’s Essential Guide actually set up a lot of things that wasn’t in the film. Like each member of the team getting an arc, & using their preferred weapons in hand to hand combat, their personalities, detailing Lloyd being bullied, Garmadon’s army, really expected that new General #1 who tore off Lloyd’s arm to play a bigger part, like she took over the Shark Army ala Starscream when Garmadon left to track Wu, giant stone dog guards that would guard the Ultimate Ultimate weapon temple, & help Jay complete his arc.  Maybe the ninjas using a Tornado of Creation to rebuild the city after Meowthra’s destruction. Maybe more expansion on Lloyd/The team all being Master Builders. The DK & Lloyd’s Scholastic book give the impression that Lloyd designed & built the teams’ mechs himself.

Irritated slightly by: the use of hard knock life.  the Ultimate Weapon random montages.

Kept in maybe trailer 2’s going back to roots, & what Lloyd says before his arm is torn off, I haven’t felt this good in a long time, & Lloyd’s yeah but I feel like there’s more to Garmadon that I need to know.   

What I Noticed: the film is more consistently heartwarming, but the marketing was more consistently charming, funny.  

Some shots were definitely made to be seen in 3d, especially some in the mech battle in Garmadon’s 1st attack, I saw the film in digital.

eyeofthewolfe, I really envy that you’re 1 of the people who aren’t feeling like me, I want to be part of this in-group of yours. But ultimately I’m not, hope you’ll still accept my point of view as valid, & that we can continue to talk while still respectfully disagreeing with how we each see the film.  

Since I want to end on a good/happy note.

What I thought was Clever took my 2nd viewing to recognize the parallels between each Lloyd/Dad scene + the concept of catch, granted I like they were more subtle with it in the Behind the Bricks featurette.  

The Inner Piece metaphor, which I should have also taken literally considering this is a lego film.

The 6 or so cut shot of the effect of Lloyd’s Dragon Mech Missile Massacre.

Some of what those poor fired generals said to Lord Garamdon when he asked for suggestions.

Despite being somewhat irritated by not calling it, all said fired generals banding together to become antagonists.

Wu’s lines about defying the [The Mentor Dies] trope.

Funny some of what Garmadon does during that GMA style montage & other attacks on the city.

Apparently Wu’s like Sun Wukong’s master Old Boy in the odd birth department.

Lessons learning to see things from a different point of view.

Learning to rely on something else besides tech.

Liked the score, voice acting. 

Tugging on Heart Strings nearly every scene with Lloyd & his dad whether bickering or bonding. The scores A Wish & A Ruined City, Arm Popping Flying Lesson, The Lady Iron Dragon, Here Kitty Kitty, Big Hug.

& the Koko/Lloyd scenes.

Lloyd, Misako, Nya teaching the fired generals new life skills.  

Fun facts 1st viewing 1 kid I presume gasping in outrage when the Kid referred to Lloyd as just a kid.  

2nd viewing really like some kids commentary on how Wu couldn’t die & other show references. Wish I could recall what jokes got the most laughs though.

Lloyd really reminded me of RWBY’s S2 Blake in worrying bout what the antagonist was up to, which the vol 5 theatrical showing was advertised in the theater I was seeing the film in. 

That & he was a nice mix of Atla’s Zuko/Luke Skywalker in the dad issues department, although Lloyd/Wu’s bond more reminiscent of Zuko/Iroh.

Maybe another comparison could be made between this film’s familal relationship & Despicable Me.