#posting this at midnight NOT bc i think less responsible ppl who will say no will see it
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hey gang should i drop another $160 on kpop albums after i already spent $120 earlier today haha is this a smart financial decision haha. ha.
#posting this at midnight NOT bc i think less responsible ppl who will say no will see it#but bc i’ve been thinking abt this for like four hours and i can’t make a decision for myself#not hockey
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its past midnight and time to yap about Mouthwashing. Anyway obviously we don't see the Specific Events only how the characters react but with Anya... Okay I'm going to talk about the Sexual Assault not with Specific Details but that's what the post is about so
Anyways she reads to me as very like... trying to downplay the severity to herself. Like thinking through it (not having the exact quotes but) I feel like it'd be an unfortunately natural reaction- if you were stuck with 4 guys and the guy with the second highest position on the ship assaulted you depending on the situation. I feel like its not hard to imagine you'd try and reframe it as Less Bad to cope because let me be honest if I had to confront the implications of that, mainly the fact he could do it again and I wouldn't have any real way of dealing with it without complicating things even further bc he doesn't just have a close relationship with the guy with the Most Power on the ship, he also is in charge of keeping Me and The Other People On The Ship Safe, i would be in deep denial just to not lose my god damn mind like thats so fucking scary. And then the implication you tried to talk to the captain and even if he wasn't cruel he didn't Understand the Severity of what you were suggesting is like. Besides feeling afraid it could genuinely really fuck with my own perception bc like "if this guy who I trust says he's not a bad person maybe I'm just overreacting?" is. Again unfortunately understandable.
And again I'll say that Anya fully breaks down when the news breaks that pony express is fucked and like. 1. I think that's related to her own finances (and also. Literally just realized the way an abortion could interact badly with "no savings" like I Just Processed that fact. Like I knew "oh if she couldn't abort having to support a child wouldn't just be traumatic but also fucking nightmarish finance wise" but even having an abortion could make things so much harder.) 2. Jimmy LASHES OUT at Curly OPENLY. again based on my interpretation of Mildly In Denial To Cope this would. Like. Really fuck with that because it goes from "I trust the captain and I don't want to be afraid of my crewmate for a year" to "oh he is willing to verbally abuse the captain, who is his friend" and realizing I wasn't overreacting.
I also wanna point to the dead pixel conversation and obv it's symbolic but idk if it's meant as "there's a dead pixel that Anya noticed and she's using the topic to like test the waters" or if it's "anya is literally just trying to figure out Curly's thought process" which isn't like super important but like. Focusing on the way she starts the conversation by saying that she "Likes the illusion the screen has". (I don't remember the exact words sorry) But that's really interesting to me bc obviously you can read into Curly not seeing the dead pixel and instead focusing on the bigger picture (and how the dead pixel "doesn't ruin the illusion") but I think it's really interesting that Anya starts by talking Positively about the screen even though the dead pixel is there (and she can't stop thinking about it)
Like thinking through implications option 1: she's talking about the screen and uses the dead pixel to get a feel for how Curly responds to her bringing up issues
2: she's being entirely metaphorical and still trying to sort of self soothe- seeking external validation that the dead pixel Isn't Actually That Big A Deal (and therefore she's just overthinking)
3: idk how to phrase this exactly but ppl have talked Abt the way she talks to Jimmy, how it indicates a sort of "Fawn" response where she tries to keep him calm with compliments and stuff, and her talking about "enjoying the illusion" is her trying to do something similar with Curly- essentially starting the metaphor by downplaying the issue
Anyway. I don't know if I have a full conclusion but another thing is I think ppl need to acknowledge that while Curly fucked up and harmed Anya (mainly thru inaction). He's not uniquely shitty. Most people will be in a situation where they act similarly, and that DOES NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS. I AM NOT SAYING CURLY IS ANY BETTER. I am saying that you need to be able to recognize your capacity for harm thru inaction and understand that like. He's not uniquely terrible he's just Normal Levels Of Unhelpful, which in a situation like Anya's is Dangerous
Like. Basically you can say "fuck jimmy fuck curly" all you want but you need to be able to understand that everyone including yourself has the same capacity for harm
#Mouthwashing spoilers#Rape ment#SA ment#Ask to tag#Idk I will say with the Anya thing: I'm a little bit speaking from personal experience#Of. There are things that I think about like ''ppl say These Things (that I experienced) are Very Bad but I don't think that's the case#For me'' like. Not consciously ''oh I'm over reacting'' but more ''well maybe my situation is different'' and it's really hard to figure ou#How much of that is genuinely the case and how much is denial y'know. 👍#Also Curly is a trans guy to me bc I'm hungry for characters who are trans men and just as culpable of willful ignorance and harm#As cis men. Anyway if anyone has a diff take on Anya's situation and)or mindset I'm open to hear it this is just my thoughts#Based on how the scenes read to me.#Also like the situation is delicate and this isn't like A Perfect Fix but genuinely Curly should've given Anya the gun#I don't think she would've shot it but it works as a Defensive Threat in a way that would give her security and also deter jimmy from being#A fucking problem because he doesn't experience consequences for his actions due to a mix of Captain's Friend and#''we can't really do shit to him or we lose our co-pilot'' (even tho he fucking sucks at his job they don't learn that until he#Is The Captain so they likely assume he's at least fucking. Functional and they would be worse off with him out of commission. Y'know)#But then again Jimmy's allergic to responsibility and consequences to the point of murder suicide so maybe Anya wouldve had to shoot him#Idk. Imagine me pacing full of rage. Imagining a universe where Anya can just fucking go to med school and doesn't have to deal with#The pony express. FUCK THE PONY EXPRESS
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AtLA Rewatch Notes 1x01
so I was taking notes while rewatching yesterday and I needed somewhere to dump them so,,
heads up I’m probably gonna do this for the full series
also: potential spoilers for full series (key word here is rewatch, folks)
also this has little to no coherency and is essentially just a stream of consciousness and stray thoughts
ngl i still love this intro
THEY’RE JUST!! BABIES
this art style has just always instantly grabbed me
I know ppl have talked about this before already but sETTING UP THEIR ENTIRE ARCS IN THE FIRST LIKE SIXTY SECONDS POST INTRO
does anyone else wonder who Hakoda’s dad was since a grandfather was never mentioned and Kanna didn’t marry Pakku or
catch Katara yelling instructions but not trying to help at all?? she grows honey
catch Sokka being a sexist jerk?? he grows honey
YES KATARA GO OFF
ok but Katara’s growth from her anger causing such extreme, large, accidental incidents as splitting a wholeass glacier down the middle to causing extremely intentional, purposeful, small and complex things like stopping all the rain in the area in its tracks and bloodbending someone to their knees
like,, we been knew but they can all be absolutely terrifying if they want to
how many times do you think Zuko traveled through the South Pole and the world?? I know Iroh could just be using an expression and not be serious when he says ‘we’ve been down this road before’ but the Gaang did pretty much travel the entire world over in less than a year, and Zuko’s been searching for three??
no one ever taught Aang about ‘stranger danger’ huh
Sokka going from freaking out when Appa sneezes on him and frantically trying to wipe it off on the ground vs. Sokka climbing into Appa’s mouth and just kinda chillin when he’s drooled out alsldfkdskj
“midnight sun madness” makes me think,,, do y’all think Katara and Sokka at some point realized that most other places in the world have both day and night on the regular throughout the whole year and were like. what.
like I mean yeah they probably knew but it’s a lot different knowing and actually experiencing y’know??
like when they see Omashu they’re like “they have buildings here that don’t melt??” and like. yeah they probably already knew that those were a thing but it’s such a new thing for them
(also off topic but that line didn’t really make sense bc yeah Omashu was one of the first cities/villages/towns they went to w people living in it with buildings that didn’t melt but it wasn’t the first? that was Kyoshi Island man)
also do you think they got to the North Pole and were like. It’s not supposed to be this sunny/dark out at this time of year?? What hemisphere are y’all livin in lmao
“...oh wait”
is there even proof that the atla world isn’t flat
Aang acting vs. Aang lying
I mean ngl he kinda sucks at both but there’s still a significant difference in skill level
like when he took on that role to get into Omashu vs. when he tried to convince Katara he didn’t know what happened to the avatar
but I mean he’s kind of right when he says “i didn’t know him”?? Like he never got the opportunity to learn what that role meant for him or really get to know himself very well because he is just twelve yo
also yes Aang has nightmares love the reminders that this bby is terrified and anxious and overwhelmed by the whole situation even before he becomes traumatized and gets all his Big Responsibilities isn’t that fun
do y’all ever think about what happened to the little kids in their village?? no?? just me? ok
also when Gran-gran essentially gives her approval to go to the North Pole she knew what they were getting into for when they got there didn’t she? she knows what their customs are like and that there’s a high chance they’re going to run into Pakku, doesn’t she? so either she’s hoping that they’ve made some progress (and maybe they have, it’s just still not far enough) in the time that she’s been gone, or she’s counting on Katara putting them in their place and earning their respect and Sokka backing her up
and in that case
we stan tbh
KATARA RECOGNIZING THAT BENDERS OF DIFFERENT ELEMENTS CAN LEARN A LOT FROM EACH OTHER EVEN BEFORE WE LEARN THAT LESSON FROM IROH
I love how easily and subtly they’re fleshing out the magic system in the very first ep w Iroh training Zuko and Aang explaining his glider to the kids
I love the idea of penguin sledding but it,, seems lowkey terrifying and unethical
“I haven’t done this since i was a kid” BABY NO
AANG IS RIGHT YOU STILL ARE A KID
“...and a very bad memory for my people” like I know this seems like such a throwaway line and doesn’t seem like much especially w all the other fire navy ship content but this is lowkey great setup for Hama’s memories… like nobody would want to remember that or talk about it so it makes sense that they never really discuss it until then but it really was horrible and when you see Hama’s story just that little thing in the back of your mind clicks and with just this one little scene so much earlier that most of us probably forget about it’s less holy shit plot twist what a surprise didn’t see that coming and more kind of like just a very sobering, horrible ...oh. and I think that that carries a lot more weight.
“If you wanna be a bender, you have to let go of fear” but just,, how well that sets up his dilemma with firebending and Katara breaking him out of that... he taught her that lesson first, and then she made sure he remembered it. also,,, The Guru foreshadowing?? (nah I’m probably just looking too far into it but whatever)
ok wait but she said “since Gran-gran was a little girl” so is she just kind of exaggerating or did Kanna move there post-raids and it really was technically since before she got there?
in which case do you think that’s part of why she didn’t think Pakku would follow her there, bc there were no benders anymore, or only a couple? And do you think that’s part of the reason Pakku didn’t? Like it seems like they haven’t had much contact with them at all, maybe they had no idea how bad it was at all and kind of assumed at the time that, why would she go to their sister tribe when it’s constantly under attack and basically on the verge of decimation? There are so many other places she could’ve gone, and he would’ve had no idea which one she would’ve chosen, because why would she go to both the most obvious choice and the least logical option? (Which also brings up the question of would/did he try to follow/look for her at all??) ((I’m not tryna make excuses for him at all but I like thinking about the thought processes and logic))
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@synthzander made a super cool post answering questions abt her OCs and I got inspired to do it myself too!! I’m doing it for my five current faves. this is taken from @the-moon-dust-writings‘s post here!
-OC’s full name? Nix: Phoenix Eleanor Nova Rex: Bartholomew Alexander Achernar Orion: Orion Vela Io: Io Justine Pleione Ceres: Ceres Altair (Orion and Ceres don’t have middle names bc Orion picked his own name and didn’t want one and Ceres just straightup doesn’t care)
- Where were they born? Nix: Greece Rex: Scotland Orion: uhh I’m not 100% exactly sure yet but somewhere in South Asia Io: idk man Ceres: Rwanda i think!
- What accent and language do they speak in? Nix: kinda a mix between English and Greek accents, speaks English, Greek, and a bit of French Rex: Scottish accent, only speaks English Orion: his accent and first language depend on where exactly he was born so i need to figure that out, but other than that he speaks English, Spanish, and French fluently, and many many other languages less so. Io: Io doesn’t “”speak”” but they can only use English Ceres: his first language is Kinyarwanda, altho he hasn’t had the opportunity to speak it for years. And he’s close to fluent in English!
this got super long so i’m putting it under a readmore from here! (also i accidentally switched ceres’ and io’s positions w/o realising fdkg)
- What flaws do they have? Nix: g od where do i even begin w this question. she’s manipulative and can be cruel. she wants her own way and she wants it now and she’s not afraid to go to great lengths to get it Rex: mm Rex isn’t developed enough to have significant flaws yet, but he has major attachment issues and tends to be lazy Orion: my boy is perfect wym he avoids all his problems and will always take the easy route rather than helping anybody out, also keeps a lot of knowledge of other people that would be better shared w certain others Ceres: Ceres is a difficult one tbh, but he doesn’t have any interest whatsoever in helping anybody who isn’t himself or very close friends, and doesn’t care if he hurts other people Io: Io,, also is difficult? they make things harder for other people but that’s not their fault. yea idk Io is developed enough either
- What are things that they are good at? Nix: she’s very good at social situations and cheering people up! she’s also good at painting, photography, cooking, and is a talented engineer (she smart) Rex: video games his one true love.....he’s also a talented socialiser and good to have around in stressful situations bc he’s calm and level headed, AND he knows how to survive in the wilderness. Orion: music!! he’s a v talented musucian and singer. other than that he’s rly intelligent and can memorise almost anything - which includes the entire high school musical script. also he somehow makes friends super easily without realising how Ceres: his academic strong point is most definitely history. other than that he has a quiet way of being comforting? he notices the people he’s close to and is good at figuring them out without asking. he’s also REALLY good w animals Io: Io is pretty damn brilliant at building robots!! and they’re curious and are good at researching things they find interesting
- What are their pet peeves? Nix: ppl not taking things seriously when they should, rly loud music, ppl who don’t research before talking (basically her pet peeves are everything abt her younger self lmao) Rex: not listening when he’s trying to talk, disrespecting others’ interests, sore losers Orion: talking over him, being the punchline, being unwilling to change little things for him, chewing w ur mouth open Ceres: he only has one!: every single person on the entire earth Io: not even bothering to try and understand their way of communicating, putting salt on things
- What is something they do not respect? Nix: ppl who talk down on her friends Rex: biting straight into the kitkat Orion: ppl who needlessly state their negative opinion Ceres: ppl who are mean to spiders Io: spiders
- Could they survive on their own in a forest? Nix: maybe?? as long as it wasn’t for too long Rex: yea Orion: quite possibly? he might have the knowledge but idk if he could put it into practise Ceres: fairly sure he could Io: no
- Are they social with others? Nix: very!! Rex: yes Orion: a lot of the time! Ceres: no Io: yea
- Do they have good social skills? Nix: yes Rex: yes Orion: ..sorta? Ceres: hell no Io: mm not really
- What is their deepest darkest secret? Nix: she’s not as caring as she tries to make herself out to be Rex: idk he’s a pretty open book Orion: i think he keeps a lot of things secret, but knowing where his sister is and not finding her is prob a big one Ceres: his entire past p much? he doesn’t tell anybody shit Io: i think that they feel guilt over their existence sometimes. they try not to show it bc they don’t want people to worry but they need near constant care and can be difficult to live with.
- Do they have a guilty pleasure? Nix: probably alcohol. she tries not to drink bc she has to be responsible at all times but damn does she wanna get drunk Rex: h onestly i feel like he would be into dolls and things but too embarrassed to share it Orion: eating all the ice cream. all of it Ceres: he rly likes anime... Io: they have secret social media accounts where they shitpost near constantly
- How do they express their feelings? Nix: in violent emotional outbursts or silent crying at midnight Rex: he does his best to hold it in at all times but sometimes he’ll just cry Orion: he wears his heart on his sleeve and has frequent meltdowns Ceres: he Doesn’t Io: very much phsyically. if they’re feeling something, you’ll know
- How do they react when they are proven wrong? Nix: depends. if she likes the person she’ll apologise and move on, if not she’ll just get Angery Rex: he doesn’t argue or shout unless he’s CERTAIN he’s right, so usually he’s in a situation where he can just say “oh yeah thats a good point” Orion: with confusion, mostly. knowing things grounds him, so its disorienting when he’s wrong Ceres: he’ll clench his jaw and walk away Io: [text] wot
- How do they mourn? Nix: she’s the Responsible One™ so she does her best to stay strong, but she’s very likely to lose control and resort to reckless activities Rex: loudly and angrily Orion: he withdraws and sabotages himself Ceres: he withdraws too, even more than usual. he’ll just...sit and stare at the wall Io: they don’t? understand? like when are they coming back? where did they go bring them back??
- When would they back talk someone? Nix: whenever she’s given the opportunity lmao Rex: only if they’re REALLY pissing him off Orion: not very often. probably only when somebody is talking abt his friends bc he can process that quicker Ceres: he wouldn’t. he just wouldn’t respond Io: when ppl aren’t listening to them (or whatever listening is through text)
- Do they gossip? Nix: YES and then feels bad about it later Rex: only if he knows it’s not harmful Orion: nah Ceres: no Io: lmao yes
- Would they ever be able to forgive themselves if they did something horrible? Example - Murder Nix: i think maybe? depends on the circumstances Rex: he cant even forgive himself for WITNESSING a murder when he was a kid :/ Orion: if he can rationalise it, yea Ceres: good question. the answer is i have no clue Io: i think so. it’d have to have been extreme circumstances for it to happen so they’d handle it
- Do they care about themselves or others more? Nix: herself unless it’s her friends (she has many friends) Rex: others Orion: others but he knows he needs to care abt himself more :/ Ceres: himself UNLESS it’s somebody he’s super close to Io: others BUT they’ll put their own needs first
- How would other OCs describe them? Nix: abt Rex - a solid friend. he’s safe and lovable and the one person who doesn’t depend on her abt Orion - so talented? she’s so proud of him and knows he’s gonna go far abt Ceres - after living with him for a while, he’s actually really sweet. you don’t notice him, but he notices you abt Io - the most precious lil bean!! she adores io even if they can be frustrating sometimes Rex: abt Nix - pushes herself way too hard. she needs to learn to relax so she doesn’t snap abt Orion - a good friend who he can have a real deep intelligent conversation with. lots of people underestimate him but rex knows he has a LOT to offer abt Ceres - hoo boy.....hoooooooo boy.......... abt Io - he struggles to understand io but he’s trying. the more he understands the more shocked he is at the kinda shit they text him
Orion: abt Nix - has no idea where he’d be without her, but couldn’t rely on her entirely. he’s thankful she introduced him to, and is part of, a solid support system abt Rex - he honestly loves hanging out w rex. he has so many interesting stories. while orion is more of a thinker, rex is more of a doer, so together they get up to a lot abt Ceres - ceres was the first one of them he met. he rly likes ceres. he’s a good listener. orion would like to learn more about him but he doesn’t want to push abt Io - what he loves abt io is how much they understand each other and can laugh about it. while the others definitely try, they don’t fully understand what it’s like to live as an autistic, but io does.
Ceres: abt Nix - he wants to trust her. he really really want to trust her, but deep down he doesn’t. she needs to fully and truly open up for him to trust her, but for her to do that he has to open up himself, but for him to open up he has to trust her..... abt Rex - complicated emotions. rex needs to learn how to not be taken advantage of abt Orion - persistent, but he’s grateful. without orion he doesn’t know where he’d be, and he really loves to hang out w him, especially as he’s one of the few people that doesn’t ask questions or make things awkward abt Io - he likes doing Quiet Things with io. like playing chess, baking, reading. io isn’t generally a quiet person, so he’s grateful they spend their quiet times with him Io: abt Nix - possibly one of the best people ever? while they adore their parents, without nix there’s a lot of things they wouldn’t have gotten to experience abt Rex - confusing. not the first person they’d go to in a crisis, but not the last either abt Orion - trouble buddy!! they get into trouble together a lot its great abt Ceres - needs to brush up on his chess skills bc they trash him every time but needs to ease up on his monopoly and poker skills bc they want to win ://
- How would your OC describe themselves? Nix: damn bitch you live here?? Rex: constantly just trying to fix his own mistakes Orion: existential crisis with a violin Ceres: reeeallly doesn’t know what he’s doing here Io: um?? the best Obviously ;)
- How would you as the writer describe them? Nix: nix is my eldest, and i probably have the closest relationship with her. she pushes herself too much and it only sends her backwards. she’s in a difficult position bc she has people that rely on her and they need her, but she needs to look after herself too bc she’s only gonna end up hurting the people she cares about, not to mention herself. but honestly? i love her so much. i admire her desire to go out of her way to help people, and to understand people, and i’m so happy she’s found herself a family that love her and she loves back. Rex: my boy has come so far. he’s the youngest of the group, but he’s still over a year old by now and he’s changed so much. he has such a genuine desire to make everybody happy, but like w nix needs to look after himself too bc he’s going to make himself sick. i hope to god someday he finds reason and purpose in his life and that he’s happy. Orion: such a shining light. i remember almost killing him off as soon as i made him and i’m so glad i didn’t. he has a power that draws people to him, and just seeing him smile could brighten any day. he deserves the world. i know things can be difficult for him, and people can be mean and say mean things, but he handles it so well and i am so proud that he’s found his family and he’s going to stick by them no matter what. they’re going to help him rise to the top and allow him to achieve his dreams, and he’s going to keep them with him when he does. Ceres: boyo...sweet boyo........this whole mess wasn’t his fault, no matter how much he believes it was. there’s no way he could have known what would have happened when he ran off w the promise of excitement and adventure. but yknow what it his fault? taking a chance and making a friend and it turning out w him having a family who’ll defend him to their graves. Io: my baby’s been through so much dramatic development recently, and is finally getting the attention they deserve. they’ve had a lot of luck in their life, and they’re starting to realise just how many things could have gone wrong so far, and the next step is realising that they absolutely deserve those things, and that they shouldn’t try and give things back out of obligation, but out of love.
- How well do they know their own limits? Nix: nix..knows her limits, but being a caregiver means she has to push them a lot even when she doesn’t want to. Rex: he doesn’t know his limits at all. he’s constantly finding himself at limit’s end and being unable to get out of it. Orion: he mostly knows his limits? sometimes he chooses to push them, but he’ll fight for his right to stay within them Ceres: oh nah he has no idea, and he doesn’t want to find out either Io: io knows their limits and refuses to have them pushed
that’s it and i just wanna say that if you read this far i admire your tolerance and i adore you
#this took me so so so so so so long to write#literally HOURS#pls read it i love my children#nix#rex#orion#ceres#io
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