#posting this at almost midnight sorry its important

[mmcnultys]

Matthew McNulty in Gustaffson's Music Video for Underground

[limes-sagau]

Mondstadt Sagau Shimegi AU Drabbles

I'm Alive! 

Sorry this took a hot minute to put out, but here's the Mondstadt edition of the Shimeji AU. I did every playable character from Mondstadt, some of them have shorter sections *cough* Mika *cough* simply because they haven't had much screen time in the game or I don't know them well enough. In the future I might do an update post for some of them. Also this should be treated like crack. Now that this is out I can move on to actually writing the First chapter of To Build A Haven which should be up soon. 

ALBEDO:

Curious but not a menace 

He looks at everything your doing with absolute interest 

He wanders around looking at what you're doing and writing what he observes down on a notepad. 

If He’s really interested in something on the page you're on like a photo or text he will snag it to get a closer look (for those who don't know there is a function that allows shimeji to grab items and take them off screen, this can be reversed by simply refreshing). 

He gets a little miffed when you refresh to get the item back in its correct place but he's not upset for long. 

If you leave your computer he will end up messing around and looking up articles on chemistry and physics, he tried searching up alchemy and he just got led down a rabbit hole that he later found out was all fake.

So there's no alchemy in your world, interesting! 

Uhh Oh! He accidentally duplicated! 

He’s immediately on guard once he sees the duplicate

Is that his twin! No wait, the mark on the twins neck is there!

He realizes it is just a full carbon copy of him that just wanders around mindlessly.

He will get a little antsy if you let the duplicates get out of hand in their numbers so make sure to dismiss the duplicates 

He just wants to study this strange world in peace. 

AMBER:

She confused as hell. 

She waves to you whenever you return from getting up from your computer 

She is the opposite of a menace. 

She almost is too helpful 

She sees her knightly duty in this weird in between world to be of help to you. 

If you're easily distracted while working on something like a document she will wave her hands around and try to get your attention so you get back to work. 

And while she is not an expert in grammar she’ll try her best to point out errors in your sentencing. 

When you're not working on something important she has a lot of fun climbing the walls of your screen and jumping off to glide across your screen. 

If you pick her up with your  cursor and toss her she’ll laugh and glide down

Don't shake her though! She’ll get dizzy!

BARBARA: 

Shy babbie!

At first she's kinda cowering in the corner so confused as to what's happening and in awe of your presence. 

Eventually she chills out a bit but she never fully relaxes.

You got spotify going in the background?

Great! This is how Barbara got introduced to (insert music genre here) or (insert artist here) 

She will be scandalized if you play something with profanity, innuendos, or sexual references.

Like full clutching of pearls

Do not play Squidwards Nose for her. She is sweet baby, she doesn't deserve that. 

I'm sorry if some of yall dont like what I'm about to say… but the moment you play one of Taylor Swift's songs she's hooked.

I'm talking like something from Folklore, Evermore, or Midnights.

Her favorites are Clean, Willow, and Snow on the Beach (she does not like the F bomb in that one though)

She does try to give everything you listen to a fair shot even if it might not be her style.

If she likes the song she will sing and dance along to it.

BENNETT: 

He fall over all the time 

So Bennett will be like climbing the side of your screen and will lose his grip and fall. 

If you catch him he'll be so happy.

Hes kinda wandering around your page

He do be trippin (and not in the fun way) 

There was this time where he picked up one of the items on your screen and didn't know how to set it down.

He ran around scared and confused until you refreshed the page. 

If you pick him up and shake him, he will get dizzy. 

DILUC: 

He’s pretty chill 

He will start wandering the internet if you leave him alone with your computer open

Hopefully he doesn't find your fanfics

Who introduced him to Batman?!?!

JUSTICE FOR MONDSTADT!!!

Not that big into the superhero movies but he does really connect with Batman, who would have guessed. 

Show him the Mt. Dew wine or the Peeps Wine from TikTok and the disappointment will be so evident on his face. 

That's not even wine 

If you do bring up some articles on wine brewing and aging techniques he will read them and take some of the methods to possibly use at Dawn Winery. 

DIONA: 

She small she baby 

Normally she’s chill

But If you drink in her presence be prepared to experience the menace of menaces

Every time you leave your computer unattended expect to come back to either your browser being on a local AA group website or on a study showing the impacts of alcohol on the body. 

She aggressively points at what's on screen whenever you come back

She can be reasoned with if you give her a pat.

She can also be pacified by one of those videos of birds meant for cats

She also likes those games made for cats where it's like a bug or ants crawling across the screen and you gotta crush them. 

She tries to jump around the screen but she short, holding her up to catch all the crawlies. 

EULA:

Eula is confused by modern internet slang 

She mainly stands guard in the corner not wanting to get in your way 

She's in the overly respectful gang 

Don't pick her up and shake her she will seek revenge

Likes the cat videos on facebook though

She like the “going no contact with toxic family” type videos on TikTok since she can relate. 

Boomer but she working on it 

FISCHL:

Who let this theater major in the building?

She is by far the most distracting shimeji you can have on your browser 

“The Prinzessin der Verurteilung desires your attention at all hours” 

When your working you literally have to dismiss her if you want to get work done

If you leave her on screen when you leave your computer you will come back to her somehow reading Twilight.

The can of worms has been opened and Fischl's Twilight phase has been unleashed.

She also grows to love shakespeare if you ever have to read one of his works for a class

Holds up skull “Alas poor Yorick”

She does hate The Taming of the Shrew (if you know you know)   

JEAN: 

Like her sister she is also a bit confused 

This internet lingo is so confusing 

This is a facebook mom 

How did she get an account? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

The funny thing is is that she successfully and pretty accurately shuts down alot of bigoted people 

She gain like a cult following of converted beige housewives 

KAEYA:

He isnt distracting like Fischl is but he’s like a cat who wants attention so they climb over your keyboard until you gotta move them and give them pets. 

Menace 

He’s the worst when it comes to fishing your fics out of your files when your away 

You gotta lock them up, time to move everything to your phone… rip storage space. 

You accidentally introduce Kaeya to his new guilty pleasure besides Wine… Horse Girl Movies!!!!

It's bad… It's really bad, his favorites are the movies Spirit and Felicity (yes the American girl movie).

The man misses his horse, why do the favonius cavalry have no horses? the captain of the calvary should have a horse!

He also is somewhat interested in the wine industry from around your world. 

He might give you a list of types he would like you to bring if you ever visit their world. 

KLEE:

Protect this one because she's so smol.

But also keep her from blowing up your documents-

She picks up whatever she wants and will set it down in the wrONg place but if you scold her about it she’ll give you puppy eyes and apologize.

And then do the exact same thing not ten minutes later.

She will wander around wherever she can so do not let her out of your sight. Open tabs, downloads, files, browser history, nothing is safe.

LISA:

similar to albedo in that she is curious about everything.

She likes that she can chill out and read whatever comes on screen

One of the worst if she finds your writing

She will correct your grammar and give suggestions while actively flirtily mocking your work. 

Likes making you flustered in the middle of work 

She requested you make her a playlist on spotify so you sit down and show her a few artists you think she would like 

She adds a bunch of music from (Hayley Kyoko, Muna, Clario, Mxmtoon, and Janelle Monae) 

She listens to it when she's on your computer and you aren't around while she looks through the internet.

MIKA:

I don't know this child!!! 

Literally I know nothing, hopefully he gets more character time in future quests

I'll come add more latter if we are given more 

Spawn in a Len(vocaloid) Shimeji and he’ll be so confused 

Who is this doppelganger! 

MONA:

Girl is going insane learning our world's zodiac system!

You have to dismiss her sometimes because she asks so many questions, some of which you don't know the answer to. 

“What Do You Mean? It's Considered A Pseudoscience!!!” 

She is beyond insulted if you don't believe in astrology.  

If you do believe in astrology she's so excited 

Give her your Natal chart and she’ll be ecstatic

After she learns everything she can about your world's astrology, whenever you boot up your computer she’ll give you your horoscope for the day.   

NOELLE:

She’s so polite! :D

Doesn’t do much climbing, but when she does it’s to clean the cobwebs in the corners of your tabs.

Will remind you to drink water and have stretch breaks every so often and will be very sad if you don't.

You better clear your browser history before she tries to take a broom to it. she doesn’t deserve to see what you look at, you degenerate fifth.

She either likes ICP or studio ghibli soundtracks; there is no inbetween.

RAZOR:

Precious Puppy™

He is very confused by the internet but he’s still very curious . 

Will patiently watch you work and will bite pop-up ads

Starts looking up pictures of wolves cause he's a precious baby and ends up in the furry community. He is very confused. He is very scared. Save him before he learns what an omega is.

ROSARIA: 

She's chill 

She's easily bored so she will on occasion if you are doing work just dip out 

How did she figure out how to dismiss herself?

Most of the time she leaves when your working 

She will stay if there is a church event back on Teyvat that she wants to get out of. 

If you summon Fischl they will both watch Twilight together 

Though Rosaria will leave after the first movie, she doesn’t like any of the other movies. 

She also has a few strong opinions on the way that Stephanie Meyer handled Native Americans in the book. 

SUCROSE: 

very curious and intrigued by the internet and will watch you work from the top of your tab and take notes.

will ask a bunch of questions about and google the answers when you leave.

got into a fight with a redditor about something sciencey you didn’t understand and battled that man for hours.

She won.

She likes watching ted talks and documentaries when you’re on break and wiLL get lost in wikipedia if you let her. Please don’t let her because she is very small and that website is very big. 

VENTI: 

#1 MENACE!!!

He's up about climbing the walls and flying all about the screen. 

If you are trying to get work done good luck 

If you ask he will sit down and be somewhat quiet 

If you listen to music while you work he will either be singing along to it or if the BPM is fast enough singing and dancing along with the music. 

He likes listening to the music you listen to because he can learn what to perform if you ever come to Teyvat.

He at first will be thrown off if you listen to something that's more on the sexual side ( im talking something like Ayesha Erotica, or cupcakKe) but eventually he gets used to it and has a lot of fun distracting you when those types of songs come on. 

Like Kaeya, he is also interested in the wine from your world. 

You have to tell him to narrow down the list he gives you of wines to bring to Teyvat… it was 2 pages long.

[sleepyc63]

post-midnight motivation hits different man,,, anyway anthro hunter!! the negative space in this one hurts my soul but idk what to fill it with so wtv

story + content warnings under cut!

CW ‼️ for child neglect and implied substance abuse ‼️

please don't read if these topics will trigger you!! nothing graphic is mentioned but better safe than sorry.

~~~

Hunter was born into No Significant Harassment's family, and is the younger sister to Nightwatcher. She and Watcher were the result of a young and unstable relationship, and their mother is not a part of their lives. Hunter never knew her mother, and NSH, being young and not ready to raise pups, was never around to care for her.

Hunter was left with Watcher to babysit throughout her childhood, though even Watcher stopped bothering to care for her when he got a girlfriend. This lead to Hunter turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which included the eventual cause of her rot.

Hunter eventually grew tired of the neglect and ran away from home, and started working in retail to support herself. While there, she met Gourmand, and the two became friends quickly. Gourmand told Hunter about her dreams of opening her own bakery, and Hunter showed interest in her ideas. With Hunter's support, Gourmand started her business, and hired Hunter to work with her.

One of Hunter's childhood friends, Survivor, contacted her about how she was attending college in the area next school year, and Hunter agreed to meet over dinner to catch up. The pair hit it off immediately, and Hunter worked up the courage to ask Survivor on a date, and Survivor accepted (let's go lesbians!!!). When the school year started, Survivor and her brother Monk moved in with Hunter, and the trio has been inseparable since.

Nightwatcher has attempted to get in contact with Hunter again, and try to set their relationship right, but Hunter is reluctant to forgive him.

~~~

aeugh here she is!! my beautiful daughter!! she has 4,403 diseases and is banned from most public spaces. i definitely left some important stuff out but thats okay. its almost 2am that's my excuse. i'll read through this tomorrow but for now i will sleep. thanks for reading if you did lol

[sondheim-girly]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MARCIA TEACHING TWO BIT HOW TO SWIM PLEASE I WENT SO FERAL WHEN I SAW IT

six different people sent in an ask about this 😭😭 @this-hopeless-war @quintessentially1 @forgthetheaterkid @fefe-the-cat +someone on anon

BUT HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE YOU GUYS????? Y’all showed up! Anyways this was the most enthusiastic request so I’m answering this one :)

-ok for background! in like first grade Cherry was doing gymnastics, and ya know how when ur really little and you want to do everything ur best friend does? Marcia was a big victim of that

-Marcia begged her parents to put her in cherrys gymnastics class, but at the time money was kinda tight and the class was too expensive, so they put her in swimming lessons instead

-at first Marcia was kinda sulky about it but pretty quickly she fell in love

-swimming served as her escape from everything

-it felt like when she was in the water it didn’t matter that her parents were hardly ever around or that people made fun of her

-when she was in middle school she moved into a house with a pool and she was THRILLED

-she stopped taking lessons, but she’d still swim all the time

-in middle school all the pressures of being a soc started sinking in, so almost every night she would sneak out and go for a swim just to forget everything

-Marcia is such an anxious queen, and swimming is one of her only releases from that

-in high school she stopped swimming as much

-she was always so stressed about her grades and her image that gradually she just forgot how much she loved it

-when she starts going out with two bit she learns that he doesn’t know how to swim and she’s like “WHAT??? You need to learn!!!!”

-so one week when its really hot and her parents are away she teaches him

-he comes over like every day and I’m sorry but he’s the worst student in the world

-but also she literally has nooo clue how to teach him

-no but they have so much fun and are definitely just being cute and flirting the entire time

-teaching him reminds her how much she loves swimming and she starts doing her midnight swims again

-one night he gets bored and sneaks over to her house to find her doing laps in the pool, and he just watches her for a minute DEEP in love before she sees him

-she gets out then pushes him into the pool and they swim together, and oooh they make me sick

-overall tho he stays out of her way for her midnight swims cuz she tells him how important they are for her to just be alone and clear her head and have peace

-one really hot day two bit convinces Marcia to invite the whole gang over for a pool party but that deserves its own post so lemme know if you’d be interested in seeing headcanons on that!

Sorry this ended up more about Marcia swimming than Marcia teaching two bit how to swim 😭😭😭 hope you enjoyed them anyways lol

[kumezyzo]

any dad!sapnap headcanons ? i feel like he’d love his little family so much :,)

ofc i do!!! so i was gonna post sweet and cute bf!sapnap headcannons cause ove gotten three anon asks about them 😭😭 but this is quite literally what has been sitting in my wips for so long 😭😭 and it was part of the angst i was talkin about not too long ago. but there is no angst in this!!😁

this is incredibly long cause its mostly pregnant!reader. um yea... sorry its not really what you asked for 😭😭😭

and this fem!afab!reader and even tho ive thought about this as streamer reader, im not gonna do it like that cause this anon didnt ask for that 😌 anyway, this is dad/dilf!sapnap

enjoy! or dont.... :) m.list

when you first have a suspision of being pregnant, you tell bf!sapnap immediately.

"wait, you think youre pregnant?" he asks with a concerned look. you bit your lip and nodded, fidgeting with your hands.

"i know we're really young and if you think we're not ready, im okay with not keeping it. i completely get whatever you feel like doing, i just needed to tell you even before i knew for sure-"

"hey, hey," he cut you off and walked up to you, cupping your face. "relax, okay. we can figure it out when we know for sure."

bf!sapnap who holds your hand when youre waiting the three minutes after peeing on the test. both of your hearts racing but trying to keep it together for eachother.

the tension in the bathroom was cut when the timer on your phone goes off. you both jumped before laughing nervously.

bf!sapnap who immediately hugs you when you flip over the stick and the test comes out positive.

you feel your body go numb at the idea of a life growing inside of you. nick didnt know how to comfort you properly, whether you were completely devastated or happy. so he waited for your reaction.

"are you okay?" he whispered. it was almost as if you would run for the hills if he spoke at any level above something close to silence.

you nod, squeezing him tighter. completely refusing to let go of the only thing grounding you to the moment.

"what-" he takes in a deep breath. "what do you want to do."

bf!sapnap who realizes the nickname 'mama' is suddenly a lot more fitting than before. and he says it with pride.

"come here mamas..." "damn mama..." "can i get a kiss mama?" he literally becomes the 'hey mamas' meme

bf!sapnap who doesnt realize he is/will become a dilf until you're well into your pregnancy. he would just be admiring your beautiful pregnant glow, complimenting you, when you brought it to his attention.

"you look so good, mamas," he says to you dreamily as he gets up to hug you from behind. his hands going to run over your bump. "cant wait to date a milf."

you laugh and lean your head back to rest on his shoulder. "and i cant wait to date a dilf." he proceeds to have a mini existential crisis and epiphany

bf!sapnap who is completely stunned to find out you were having a baby girl. a strange sense of protection filled him as he came to accept the fact that he now had two important women in his life. and he knew if it came to it, he'd protect them with his life.

bf!sapnap who most likely wont run to the store at midnight for your cravings. but he will postmates it for you in the blink of an eye and wait with you until it gets there.

bf!sapnap who lets you have the complete decision of when to reveal your pregnancy to his viewers.

bf!sapnap who has hundreds of videos of you laying in bed, your belly proudly showing and visible baby kicks and punches stretching through your skin.

"holy shit, it looks like an alien," he says, pointing his phones camera at your seven month sized belly. you had both paused the tv in your room to admire the way your child seemed to try to break out of the confines of your body

"this feels so fucking weird," you laugh as you watch your belly with wide eyes. then you register your boyfriends words. "wait, what did you call her-"

soon dad!sapnap who cant stay still when youre going through inactive labour, just laying in the hospital bed.

bsf!dream and george that come to visit your baby and you. they cant help but admire her full head of wavy hair and green eyes.

dad!sapnap who tries to let you sleep when you two get home. when the baby wakes up at midnight, he tries to console her as fast as possible to let you sleep.

nick is standing, trying to rock her to sleep. the little girls crys resonating through the room. his heart breaking at every little gasp she took between wails.

you sat up in the bed tiredly. you looked over at your boyfriend who looked at you sympathetically. you stood up and walked over to him. you stood next to him and leaned your head on his shoulder, watching your little girl scream her little head off.

"lemme hold her," you say with a yawn. he sighs and gently passes her over to you. he set her in your arms and almost immediately she stopped crying. you sughed once you realized her eyes were wide open and looking around. "come on baby, you can go back to sleep," you whisper to her.

nick watched you with a drowsy smile. and as you were able to get your baby to go down, he realized how this was his knew life. and he was comfortable.

it was mostly pregnant reader and thats not really what the anon asked for 😭😭 im sorry i just wanted this posted😭 if you want I'll make a pt.2 with him as an actual dad i guess? and help me come up with a name for this child please. -Nony

[plasticfangtastic]

American Royalty. Ch. 9

A Homelander x F! Reader/Dadlander fanfic

A/N: so sorry for the long delay, was a bit overwhelmed irl and needed a break from writing, and this chapter its the longest on the fic and editing it was a difficult. thank you so much for reading Hope y'all like it and warning this is a long chapter fr fr-- prev. chapter here:

Tags: mild gore, angst, slow burn, fluff, oc characther, child neglect, dadlander, romance, child murder mention, murder mention.

Chapter Nine

Tally

A field trip to the museum of natural history was scheduled for the day and to your daughter's unsurprised annoyance– here was her father riding the school bus too… 

Homelander had made a surprising decision.

This was his way to win you both, putting himself more and more present in your lives as gently as he could muster, suddenly taking special interest in her schooling, as this was important to you both– more than you had anticipated, he would have. 

Joining the PTA board, not even making an immediate fuss on the injustice of not being worshiped on sight, acting maturely even if slightly jaded about not being handed the head of the table upon blessing them with his presence– but there he was helping out when asked by the other members with fundraisers and other volunteer works if possible. 

He would come and watch them do their homework-- one while at work and the other at his home, coming over every night to tuck her in, for Ryan went to bed at 9 like a good kid and Helena did not turn sleepy ‘til midnight, flying to school almost everyday to make sure both children were still present, and to pick up Ryan. 

Wishing he could take her too but strong enough to accept he couldn't just yet… his many enemies and detractors a source of constant concern in your mind, so even if it hurt, Homelander knew it was the safest thing he could do for now, the simplest thing to ease your worries for the time being.

 Helena was more concerned about how such a busy man had enough time to spare just to stop-by to make sure his kids entered the right car, how he had time to follow the driver to make sure he took the fastest route and that his behavior was proper– poor time management skills and a small battalion of distressed assistants, she thought.

It killed him, it killed him to play a stranger towards her, wishing he could do more than wave good morning and good afternoon, finding himself being stared at by the other caregivers as he gawked at his daughter for too long while she waited for her driver or as she was dropped off by you or her driver in the morning, as you no longer let her walk to school. The girl did a better job at pretending not to know him, offering flat smiles at best while he tried to keep his expression blank.

You couldn’t deny he was trying so dearly to be there.

He found it irritating how easy it was for Helena to talk to the driver than it was to talk to her own father, embitter at the lightness in her voice. The two filling the space with discussions about growing up in the eastern bloc, about how the 60+ year old had worked as a taxi driver for over 20 years before turning to the private sector because the hours were better, about coming to the country in his late teens, fascinated about how his father had raised 2 kids then his 2 nephews after the death of his sister, about how he worked in the sanitation department until he was 80 years old– she spoke with ease to the older man, while stiff and impersonal with him, perpetually cautious around him. Homelander would’ve replaced him on the spot had he not had the itchy feeling that she would get angry at him for it.

The two could discuss work with ease at least– she was quick to unravel office politics and their thousands unspoken rules, coming to understand how Vought's hierarchy was more than just letters outside of doors, and salaries, quite easily.

Engrossed by the bizarre world of Superhero shenanigans, eager to learn what it took to manage the powered and unruly, what it really took to make a Supe, and the spoken human cost that kept the light on… it was all required reading in order to understand how the business was– these people were ultimately vapid and dangerous. A-Train was still a soft spot for her (she was okay with making exception after all everybody did the same) they discussed movie deals and product branding with more spit than it took discussing actual hero work, saving people and doing good was not even secondary to their priorities, while others in the same building discussed murders and other colorful cover-ups made by her fellow brethren over the water cooler. At first The Seven had been opposed to her presence… silently of course, to have a stranger moseying around their territory was unnerving much less a child… but once it became common knowledge that the little would-be tyrant was not a normal child they had turned far more self-conscious, but all it had taken was one look from Homelander daring them voice their discomforts for all of them to shower her with pleasantries and complements, for all of them to act as if she wasn't in the room.

Helena was quick to note how much of a fooney her father was-- faking and selling niceties with believable charm as if this was his normal behavior in their meetings, it was beyond obvious in the unsaid way everybody was fearful of his bite that he was just acting for her sake, confusing the lot, making them wonder why he did such a thing to impress a precocious stranger– Helena could see him squirming in his seat, squeezing his fists, desperate to lash out whenever The Seven irritated him. 

As long as she sat in the room he denied his true nature, she took note of it… curious as to how catastrophic it would be once he reached boiling point, wanting to know if she could push his buttons even further out of morbid curiosity.

The group theorized what truly motivated his behavioral changes, some believed the online whispers of netizens, while others had a more insipid suspicions, thankful that in the long list of abilities he had did not include telepathy– regardless it was nice to not be murdered on the spot for their misdemeanors.

She thought it would’ve been easy if he just spilled the beans but at this point both yours and Homelander’s relationship status had been kept under wraps– the board and Ashley had been the only ones informed. A matter of strategic release, it seemed.

Coming headfirst and dropping the news was considered but the spectacle that came from Homelander’s reveal of Ryan had been grating and a nightmare for the company-- but as the writing team worked their magic, the revelation was woven into a dramatic narrative, feeding scraps and crumbs to the curious masses just to kept the conversation, Ryan had been kept safe from netizens during the trail days, the internet speculated without permission about Homelander's personal life and his son– but now they were invited to do so for you and by extension Helena.

It had all begun from a paparazzi scoop, a staged candid photo showing Homelander in civvie cosplay and you his blushing partner staring at each other romantically, then the money shot of you two kissing in pretend secrecy.

The public went wild with it, for years Homelander’s many relationships were a source of entertainment so this was just another thing for consumption, many tried to learn  about you, the first images just grainy and purposefully angled poorly to kept your partially obscured, with each week after the original release more and more images began circulating… culminating in Homelander’s own social media account announcing his shocking engagement to a young New York chef.

It was all the news could talk about, and now Helena had to bear the public’s sudden interest.

People wanted to know all the details, to know all there was to know about you, your unmarketable story had been handled by Vought making you feel safe but that had been a nightmare on its own, but that was for later…

It would’ve been easy if she at least had Elmo to confide with, if Helena had anybody but her driver and her lab assistant to talk to.

But there she was forever in the confines of her mind, lost in books, and playing chess at school and chess-rooms.

Homelander had noted how quiet she’d become, more than usual… spying from a distance witnessing his daughter’s loneliness and unable to help– At school she was a loner, expected from a child that stood out too much, a child with poor socialization skills and her abrasive personality it wasn't surprising, spending her lunchest alone and break times in the library or the music room honing her skills instead of socializing, on the occasion she could converse with one of the older kids in her music class, bringing a smile to his face… sounding so much like a girl as the older kid taught her a piece– she wasn’t like Ryan who had come out of his shell, making a small group of buddies and acquaintances with ease but Helena hadn’t had any luck. John knew from you, that she had always been like that, with time she would find somebody, that he should be patient, for Helena was resilient… but he couldn’t bear to look at it.

And he knew just what to do.

Sven Cripple wasn’t what he expected– Just another schmuck in marketing that liked to dress in casual clothes to stand out in the office, thinking of Nigel, this man certainly seemed misplaced on the other’s side. He was lanky and tall, his pale blonde hair natural and his nose protruding… it was the tattoos and piercings that looked out of place next to that new money prude. The man gave him an ill-conceived stern look, before washing it with fake friendliness.

“How can I help you Homelander?” He said, looking as his team hurried out of the room.

“Just wanted to come down for a chat… how’s little Elmo doing? Haven’t seen him in daycare for a while.”

“We decided to take Elmo out for the time being–

“Just because my daughter is around” He cut him– that’s a bit cruel.”

“With all due respect sir… your daughter tried to kill my son,” he said with a snap.

“You mean: tried to make him better by increasing his chances of success in this industry.” Homelander tried to remain friendly– I’ve heard that Elmo's health hasn’t deteriorated in the least, and has gotten quite good with his new found powers.”

“Yes, he is doing well. Thank you for your concern, sir.” He took his laptop from the table– is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Yes, bring Elmo back to daycare” Homelander dug into his belt pulling out a pamphlet from Helena’s school– "Is a great school, Elmo would surely thrive there.”

Sven dare not take the piece of paper, feeling nervous as Homelander stares down at him from beneath.

The man took a deep breath wanting nothing but to end the conversation and head back to work.

“Thank you but we like Elmo’s school and we aren’t–

“You live in Chinatown don’t you? Forsyth street, right? Lovely apartment, great price for a three bedroom in this city, decent enough to house that yappy little doodle-mix… so cute! Love your decour who doesn't love mid-century modern… and surprisingly quiet streets plus you’re near an okay school at walking distance and for that price– what a bargain! I’m so jealous” He spoke so smoothly, licking his teeth as he took a step forward– now… just between us. Man to Man… concerned father to concerned dad…” He took the man by the chin cupping his face to force him to watch him straight in the eyes– you’re going to get your store bought misborn brat, and you are going to bring him back to daycare. You’re going to enroll him into this school, and let him and Helena be best friends forever or I’m going to make you eat him. I’ll sit you down and your fucking husband and serve him to you in a platter with so much ssamjang you would lick your fingers from how delicious it was! And then I’ll kill your husband and your yappy little gay dog before you’re framed for their murders.” He says with a smile.

Sven felt his bladder almost empty as the red lights burned so hot, his eyes had turned dry and his lips chapped from the heat radiating from him.

“Now you can go and tell anybody about what I just said, and try to get me in trouble but just so you know… I’m so fast and little kids don’t run that well…. even flying ones; Or you could do as I say and we can pretend to be buddies, right champ?” He gave the man’s cheek a light tap as he turned the lights off– I think Helena and Elmo would make a great team… does he miss her? Don’t lie to me.”

“He’s been upset lately.” he whispers.

Homelander squints but it's pleased at the man’s meek demeanor.

“I know sometimes we parents have to make hard decisions but think about it… it's what you and Nigel always wanted… for him to be famous… under my wing he'll achieve more than any other Supe could, I have this grand vision and I know without him Helena won’t like it… it would benefit him regardless.”

“That's not what–

“You gave him V! Don't act so sanctimonious why else would you if it wasn’t for personal gain!? To make sure he never got a cold!? Please save it… maybe not you… maybe Nigel, but you gave him compound V for a reason. So don’t squander your investment. You are just another greedy wannabe trophy parent.” He spat on his shoe– I expect to see the kid by next week at the latest, förstått?” 

Sven crumbled behind him, making music for Homelander’s ears as the man realized just who Homelander truly was, knowing full well that there was nobody in this building that he could turn to, too afraid to find out what would transpire dare he tried to run.

By next week he could barely contain his smug satisfaction as he saw the kid return– he had done something you couldn’t with such ease, whereas you try talking to Nigel, try to build a connection via apologies that the man hadn’t care for after giving him space… he had given your child his friend back.

While there was no dramatic run towards each other, there was that sweet little smile on her face as they both sat together to draw.

By next month he would join her in school… admittedly Homelander did forget that the kid was in the 2nd grade but even with the distance, they still found ways to see each other… After all, a kid sneaking out of class didn’t stand out if she looked like any other grade schooler.

It was something… it was more than he ever had… he would’ve killed to have at least one more person with him in that room, one he could actually touch… he wanted to give her everything he could but for the first time he shared some of your grief.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?”

Helena ceased to move her fingers from the keys, instead of attending study sessions she had wandered off to one of the music rooms, the teachers well aware and unconcerned.

“Shouldn’t you be in study hall or the library?”

“I like it here.” She turns slightly to face him– you didn't answer my question.”

“I was in the area and decided to come by and say hi.”

“This isn’t your territory and that’s not allowed.” she says firmly.

 “Saw that Elmo started attending school– Mr. Radmilo told me he saw you talking to a kid yesterday evening… a boy that sounded a lot like Elmo.”

Helena chortled mightily amused by his poor performance, before she could say a thing he sat by her side placing a couple fingers making a tune with his fingers, she was tempted to follow him and test if he had any skills.

“That was your doing wasn’t it? Mom wasn’t making any strides in that department… What did you do?”

“I am The Homelander and their boss… would you tell me no, if you were them?”

Helena could only imagine what he would do to strangers he didn’t care about, compared to what he had done to you… he might’ve been worse. She leaned against him playing a couple keys just to play along– it was awful to admit but she was glad, she was glad her friend was back, glad that her lunchest wouldn’t be so lonely, that at least she could sneak out to the playground and hang out with him, that she had somebody to talk to.

“Thank you… do you play?”

“Noir used to play… I would stop by his apartment and he would play for me from time to time… I was taught a couple tunes but it was never for me… I miss it… listening to him.”

“He doesn’t play anymore?”

“That’s just a guy being paid to wear his suit… kept the brand– That’s not my Noir… so anyways… I was thinking you and I can ditch school for the day and hang out before we come back to pick up, Ryan.”

Her eyes opened wide, smirking at the suggestion.

“Asking me to ditch school… that’s not a good thing to encourage…”

“Are you going to fall behind if you do?”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer, playing with her hair.

“Nope!” She did like the feeling of being pet, it was nice, his hands bigger than yours, feeling so small under his glove and wishing it wasn’t there at all– where are we going?”

“I wanted to show you one of my favorite places in the world.” He said with a glimmer in his eyes– I think you’ll love it!”

She nodded and pushed herself free, letting him drag her out of the school while everybody was bored in class, he tucked her firmly in his arms holding her head against his chest as he took flight.

How could anybody ever get used to this sinking feeling in the gut that comes from the rapid ascent, the way her ears close shut and the taste of blood flooded into her mouth, how did a normal human withstand this when her body was above average yet still struggled, she squeezed his body the best she could, unable to speak or breath. Her mind works fast, knowing this would be risky but she builds a small bubble, gasping as everything around her cranium suddenly feels back at home.

Inside her bubble nothing moves, the air it's still but clear, below the neck it was left to god.

Homelander looked down catching those frightened little hands clutching at him, he slowed down so quickly he made himself queasy, flying was no different from breathing or sleeping to him, he looked down hoping she hadn’t lost consciousness, his throat closing on itself as she took a second to look up shivering in his arms, he squeezed her tight and began his descent, still a couple hundred miles from his destination. 

The ground felt otherworldly as he landed with a soft thud under his boot.

“Am so sorry…” He choked, his body matching hers as he collapses placing her down to check for her wounds, tears welling up making it hard to see.

“Too fast… Too fast” She muttered, trying not to cry as she watched him do the same– okay… that was mach 2?”

He nodded frantically, eyes flooding as he found nothing wrong with her organs.

“Let’s try mach 1… or turtle… do I have any organ failure? I don’t fe-fe-feel I do.” She said as she squatted on the ground making sure to feel the grass on her hands– let’s do that again.”

“Is all good… oh dear god you’re good!” He broke first.

She petted his hair, slumping on his shoulders forming a bubble around her body preventing her father from holding her further, he watched her confusedly as her body slid away from him.

“Actually go full speed I wanna test something” Shaking off her initial fright with ease– take the bubble and go full speed. I need to know something… What a great opportunity to test my abilities!” She said cheerfully– my body it’s able to withstand it to a degree… I was dizzy and I had difficulty breathing but I didn’t bleed… my ears hurt so its likely my eardrums would have bursted if I hadn’t enveloped my head but who knows when that would've happen."

“What are you on about?” He said nervousy.

“Everything is an opportunity to learn! Is okay– is not like I inherited your physiology, all I got was a hearty dose of compound V.” She rubbed her chin– wonder tho… Ryan is a carbon copy of you... there are records of powers being “inheritable” altho there isn’t much research on the matter– would love it if I could use Ryan for research later on, if possible." She mumbled to herself-- Pick me up and let’s go. I need to see if my bubble can withstand high speeds!”

Homelander had a difficult time understanding, for a moment he considered letting her know but the voice in his head told him to keep quiet just for a little longer.

He had a hard time figuring out the most comfortable way to lift the bubble, forcing her to make it smaller for ergonimic reasons, from inside she could find his fingers reshaping the surface by sheer force, a terrifying discovery.

It was no different from a carnival ride, her body flung against the wall of the bubble, the wind rippling all over the surface, pressure forcing her against one direction, but she could still move forward.

They reached the clearing outside an old farmhouse, a dusty american flag waving in the wind of the light blue and gray house, a large tree faced the front and Helena could only recognize it from an episode of Supes in America, he placed her carefully under the tree’s shadow, a wind chime coloured the wind, as she took a step out, following his lead as he entered the house forgetting he had brought her along for a second, the rustling leaves sung alongside rusted chimes, she looked at the overgrown grass and weeds lining the front yard, at last season’s dead leaves and fresh dead ones littered across the porch.

Inside everything had been covered in sheets, old cobwebs had made a home in the once cozy house, and picture frames caked in layers of dust clouding familiar faces.

Homelander headed for the living room where an old piano decorated with plane models adorned the room. She remembered the episode somewhat… expecting a retelling of factoids she could pull out from some youtube clip in an instant, a picture of an older blonde couple holding a small toddler in blue, white and red stripes, in fact they all were wearing some shade of red and blue, she noted.

Helena climbed to the piano picking the photograph as her father just followed quietly.

“Were they nice? Mine suck, lol.”

“They would’ve loved you. I’m sure of it.’ He spoke quietly– mom loved the piano too… I always wanted to hear the old thing play again.”

Helena smiled putting the photo by the dining table before it, flicking the lid open and scouring the music sheet for a decent tune, Homelander sat on the wooden table watching her hands play 'Schubert– moment musicaux No. 3', her fingers long enough to not strain her hand as she started to get to the most difficult parts of the intermediate song.

“Just like mom used to play… you must’ve gotten it from her.”

“Thank you.” Her fingers began to move to a different tempo, speeding up as she began a different concerto, Homelander picked it up watching her quizzically as her hands moved faster and faster, there was a darkness in the music– she must’ve been a virtuoso to be able to play Brahms most obnoxious pieces as a hobby!”

Her fingers smashed on the keys as the Hungarian dance sped up, missing notes and pains building all the way up her elbow– quitting all together, cursing at her fingers for being too short, cursing at her arms, wiping the sweat of her brow angrily.

She took the music sheet book flipping its cover towards Homelander to reveal the author, he should’ve known the set designers or prop makers had no care for the little things.

“What’s going on?”

Homelander swallowed a couple knots looking down away from her, he stood up.

“…follow me”

She dragged herself out of that piano as her father headed upstairs, his feet loud on the creaky floorboards, the halls just as dusty and quiet on the floors above, the fragrance of mildew and time permeated in the air, all the doors were shut except for one– the cream coloured walls adorned with frames pictures of baseball stadiums, small league baseball team flags with a tiger mascot sprinkled on the wall, and model airplanes hung from the ceiling decorated the small children bedroom. She gave a rounded look to the room, spotting the small bookcase filled with blue spines, a stack of worn down Hardy Boys’s books, and a cute wood carved rabbit.

Grimacing at the massive poster of the American declaration of independence with its tacky eagle/flag shield drawing on top, she shouldn’t criticized for her walls were mostly bare but this felt odd, decorated with books and awards she had won, her only pretty poster was a polaroid of a cat she found at a garage sale, but there was something bizarre being witness. It felt made for TV, it didn’t feel natural once the warm filter was off.

The room wasn’t as dusty as the floor below, he paused before the small collection of trophies on top of the dressers fidgeting until they were all straight, giving the room an odd look around before slumping on top of the children’s bed, a bit of dust danced on the sunlight, Homelander took the red cap off the bed post throwing it at Helena’s direction, Helena opted to sit on the small gangnam print armchair, putting the hat to humor him.

“You don’t get any whiter.” Her eyes keep staring at the poster– you always been this needlessly patriotic?”

“What? You have dissenting opinions against the government? You little anarchist.”

“This country is run by senile geriatrics and billionaire oligarchs… but above all… humans.”

He fixed the pillow as he closed his eyes with a light chuckle clinging on his lips.

“Humans… you think it shouldn’t be them?”

“Supes are a minority, humans would always lead nations no matter how many of us are around. They could use with a fresh pair of eyes, tho… not to mention you could kill a lot of those in charge and it would be a good thing.”

“Bit extreme."

“Maybe growing up in a place like this makes it difficult to understand what it's like to live on the side of those the government deems a burden.”

“I didn’t grow up in a place like this– this is all fake…” Homelander opened his eyes slowly, staring at the silver plane dangling from his roof, blowing with enough force to make it spin on its threads– they built this for TV… my room didn’t have anything… just a bed… a toilet and sink– no bathtub or shower in case I tried to kill myself or hurt myself if I showered or something! Nothing else… just bare walls… not even a window just an air vent.”

Helena cocked her head, brows touching as she heard him talk, her eyes gliding back at that stupid poster.

“You were in foster care? I’ve seen the Vought operated orphanage facilities… not exactly optimal.”

Homelander turned on the bed wanting to tell her all the things he held, but his tongue turned so heavy he dare not… not yet… would she pity him? would she think of him as pathetic? It was hard to see if she felt any form of sympathy at times– but he didn’t want that from his child, it was not a burden for her to carry, he thought.

“Something like that… I never knew my mother… she didn’t want me, I think. My father didn’t know he had me… then he tried to kill me when he meet me.” He took a deep breath, trying to make himself laugh as if it was a silly annotation in his life– Vought took care of me when I was a baby.”

“Was it a bad facility?” She didn't think it was right to ask, wondering why he was saying such heavy things with such lightness on his tone.

“I would burn the whole world before I let you or Ryan end up in a place like that.” His voice was stable but his expression betrayed him– it was lonely and awful. But I managed.”

“I’m sorry… we cannot help the nature of our birth or the nature of those who cared for us… we just have to deal with the leftovers they left us with– doesn’t need to hurt less, right?”

She paused, caught by that saddened expression forming on her father's face, at his gloves squeak under his grip. Helena fiddles with her backpack, jumping off the armchair towards him-- he looks up at the open palm holding candy, her lips trembly purse and her eyebrows fold downwards, finding her upset and nervous Homelander lifts himself on his elbow taking the werther's candy in hopes it would ease her.

“I’m sorry… sorry that happened to you.” She was struggling to talk– I knew kids who got taken by CPS… it didn’t always seem like a good thing.”

Homelander offered a sad smile that made for poor comfort.

“Is okay is all behind… I… I am just glad your mother never came back… because they would have done that to you.”

She looked confused, urging him to explain without words.

“Come ‘ere.” He fixed himself back upright, gluing himself to the wall to give her space, Helena dropped her backpack and hopped on the bed, finding it to be tight squeeze– your mother didn’t tell you just how special you and Ryan are. How much more special you two are even more than me… maybe.”

The girl gave him all the answers he needed in those big befuddled eyes.

“You and Ryan are the first natural born supes… Ryan’s mother came back when Ryan began to show powers while pregnant– so they locked her in a house like this. Ryan lived in a whole compound of fake houses and fake neighbors… a fantasy prison– and that was the “nice” place! Your mother was lucky, they would have taken you and put you in the same place they put me.” 

Speaking as if nothing was loaded, Helena scrunched the blanket under her hand, wanting to argue with him, yet if this was all true… she couldn’t blame him for being maladjusted.

He looked at the nightstand and the book next to the blue plastic lamp, taking in his hands.

“You like Dr. Seuss?”

Helena shook her head.

“Never read it. Mom got me too many books growing up, maybe we never got around them… and by the time I could walk to the Library I just skipped the kids section… as pretentious as that sounds.” She followed his hand as he trapped her in between his arm and his chest, but she wasn’t scared, this was normal for parents to do, even if he was still somewhat alien to her– I don’t think I was lucky.”

“You seen what they do in the labs… they would’ve done that to you, mayhaps.” He opened the book ‘If I ran the zoo’-- When I was small I had a stutter and they would…” he paused, biting his tongue slightly as it sat uncomfortably in his mouth– I would have to read a lot of silly rhyme books. Dr. Seuss was my favorite. I always wanted to met these stupid critters but turns out they weren’t real.”

There was a fondness in the way he held this book, his thumb rubbing on the spine, pressing the worn creases, tracing marks and straightening blunt tips– the copy was well loved, scratched beyond repair at the corners, and the spine so creased some white seep from the cracks as it threatened to rip apart.

“So I was born with my powers then… I can see why they would do such a thing to Ryan.”

“I think if Becca was around… she would have preferred it if she kept him to herself in the first place, maybe make her husband think the kid was his.” He looked down at the mop of black hair, expecting to see you but finding her instead, his eyes widen hoping the kid wouldn’t have a snappy comeback or grow uncomfortable but Helena just flicked to the next page reading the short verses, admiring the drawing of an elephant cat with a little smile– you don’t mind being born with powers?”

“It’s awesome to have powers. You want me to be all sappy and act like having them makes my life worse? Does it suck sometimes– yes.” She pauses, flattening an edge that had been used to bookmark too many times–  I’m different even amongst supes… but If I didn’t have powers then… I would be useless– I would make mom’s life harder. But I am great.”

Homelander felt the candy pressed tightly in his glove.

“I don’t think your mother would ever think that of you…”

“I dunno.” Her cheek rubbed on his suit, her voice so quiet as she went to the next page– sometimes… I don’t think she likes me very much… but sometimes she obviously does…”

“Helena…” His face hurt as he tried to speak but found himself unable to say another word, his jaw dislodging but his tongue sat dry in his mouth. 

“I was two when my powers happened. Mom… Mom managed to get out of the shelter and we moved to a long hallway with a bed and stuff on the walls– it was super cheap and it was better... I lived there until well… I broke a wall… then it was back to the shelter and then people’s houses and grandparents… When I was five we got that apartment and by then I realized I was allergic to dogs so I didn't need to be afraid of my nose anymore… no more broken stuff…”

“Those were accidents!” his voice almost broke, a seething rage tried to burst out of him as his eyes took a new shade of red, faceless bodies lingered on his thoughts wishing to justly harm them– all of that… that wasn’t you.”

“Tell that to my grandma after I broke their staircase.” She sulked in her spot– and the wall attached to it.”

Homelander could only cuddle her, wishing he could comfort her as easily it had been with Ryan. His son had desperately needed affirmations, needed to be provided with love and understanding– but this one saw everything far too maturely for him to help, he felt. 

“You can break stuff now… I’ll clean it up and I won’t get mad at you.”

“Thanks…?” That sounded grim coming out of his mouth but she wanted to hear it, as silly as it was, she nuzzled his side trying to crawl higher following his feathery fingers– By the way… why is this your favorite place? Like this is just a film set to make you look so cornbread american it hurts… I guess people knowing you’re an orphan didn’t sit well with test groups.”

“Is not. I fucking hate it… but sometimes I like to think what it would’ve been like if i grew up in a place like this. I don’t own much… I have a cabin but I don’t go there anymore… no home for me… just houses.” He flicked the page giggling at the silly drawing of weird animals– my favorite place in the whole world is right here.”

She expects him to point at anything, but he doesn’t for he’s just looking at her with sleepy eyes.

“I love you Helena. I really do.”

Her eyes blinked and blipped, as she hugged him back… with only one arm, it felt like the correct thing to do, Helena could see herself much younger, inside that small apartment while the neighbor is being loud, there she was sharing headphones with you, playing a movie on your old laptop, she hugged your torso with those short chubby arms that always felt so light to you, and her face resting on your chest, she remembered the weight of your chin and the lull of your breathing… her father was a slow breather making her sleepy.

“My favorite place in the world it’s Rolling’s Hills Asylum– I saw a ghost there once."

“Ghost aren’t real” He tried not to laugh at her beaming eyes.

“You shoot lasers out of your ass but ghosts are too far-fetched? Really?” she was genuinely offended– ridiculous.”

He had a hearty laugh regardless, he closed the book giving her head a peck, taking the moment to smell her hair, to enjoy the sound of her heartbeat and the blood coursing through her veins, hearing the current glad that it continued to run, seemingly never ending as it should be.

“Okay…Okay…” He lets her take the book off his hands, clearly miffed that he wouldn’t let her finish, he swallows– You know why I brought you here?”

“No.”

“I always wanted to know what it would be like to have a family in a home like this… having Ryan in the tower was the closest thing to that but now there’s you and your mother so I want to know if you’re okay with me moving in…? I started looking at houses but your mother is difficult… and there’s my penthouse which… I don’t know if it’s ideal.”

Helena had to fake ignorance, partially aware of what stresses you were putting yourself into. Sure neither of you had discussed this move somehow.

Your daughter straightens herself clutching the little book tight against herself, thinking of the dusty air in the room and the fake planes above her head covered in cobwebs.

“Move in with us…? I don’t think mom would like to live in the tower. I certainly wouldn’t… Is weird living where I work… great for saving on travel expenses, just… not a pleasant idea… just ‘cuz you helped me with Elmo– I’ll help you out with mom. It was sad without him around, somehow.”

Helena buried her face under the book, feeling as if she had betrayed you but she had to win him over… for you, she had to succeed, she had to do everything she could to not fuck this up.

Her heart thumped so loudly it was deafening, as she accepted her actions.

“Do you like Elmo?” Homelander turned pale, his nose tickled by a cocktail of emotional conditions.

“Huh?” She blinked thrice as her face twisted to face him– he is my friend… you’re supposed to like your friends.”

“Just as friends, right?” He tried to force an uncomfortable light laugh.

“Oh…” She blushed then frowned– I am seven!! Jesus you’re being gross, dad!!” She jumped out of the bed–  Elmo is my dog.” she said loudly.

Homelander wished he didn’t hear your voice just then, he buried his face in the pillow praying that the kid didn’t understand just how grim her words were, but mostly disgusted at himself… Why he had to say that? Was he jealous of a toddler!?.

“If you want to hit me please do so.”

“How hard?” She scowled, repulsed unknowingly by her father's misplaced jealousy, she wanted to hit him regardless.

“Your hardest.” He mumbled.

“I would break the wall.”

“Go for it.” he lifted a thumb up

A hundred or so meters later, and a tree branch jammed under his arm tearing his cape, he looked up spitting grass and dirt, the sky so obnoxiously blue.

He lifted himself slightly but not all the way with a slight groan, witnessing the hole on the side of the house and the torn down tree he had taken with himself, Helena jumped out the caveat floating towards him.

“Are you hurt?”

He lifted his fist still clutching on that wrapped piece of candy as she made her way towards him, struggling to unwrap it, glad when it was freed, the smell sweet and warm but tame compared to other crimes, shoving it in his mouth, allowing the caramel to melt in his tongue, he took a deep breath.

“Oh shit did I actually hurt you!?” With a pop Helena landed near him, jumping on her knees towards him, throwing her backpack to the side as her father just stared at the sky– you aren’t bleeding. Thank god…Good.”

“I’m fine, just surprised… By the way” he sat straight, his head lolling back and his mouth sucking loudly on his treat, he looks back at her once more smiling trying to appear completely fine not wanting his daughter to get more worried, fixated on the little red in her eyes– thank you for not hesitating.”

She sniffled a little.

“You’re so weird.”

“You can’t talk either, princess… I think I know how you can help me with your mom” She moved to remove a twig off his hair which somehow had stayed mostly in place– I want to organize a playdate for you. Get her to agree.”

She nodded, twirling the twig in her hand.

Homelander had one look at the broken house, and the torn down tree whose roots rained dirt– and scorched it. The cinder brought it down, Helena watched the bonfire and the billowing dust clouds, just flinching at the sudden burst of light, but as her sight caught on what was happening, she calmed down, drawn to the sight of flames, amused at how natural and flexible his lasers were, envious that she was lacking of them, angry that she was.

“Can we go get bagels?” She sniffed the smoke– I'm hungry…”

The two tried their best to eat while being gawked at– him more amazed about how much she could fit in her mouth– albeit with some reserved revultion. One hand held an egg bagel with cannoli cream cheese, while the other put a plain one with far too much smoked salmon and bacon cream cheese in his mind.

He watched her as she rotated the flavors, disturbed by her half chews in between to mix them in her cheeks.

She lifted her hand offering a bite of the salmon monstrosity.

“Is okay, I got my own…” She frowned, staring at the barely touched toasted bagel with nothing but a sliver of lox spread, Homelander looked away, not wanting to see her chewed up sandwich, considering leaving briefly then coming back to pick her up, but she insisted– "you want me to try?”

She nodded furiously trying to swallow fast enough.

He leaned down trying to ignore the camera recording behind him, taking a small morsel that seemed to satisfy the girl.

“yummy.”He was forced to look glad as he swallowed.

She looked at his with anticipation, unsure of what to do. he relented yet again.

“Cappers suck.” she regretted her bite instantly, swallowing forcefully.

“I’ll admit– not a fan of them, either.” 

He wouldn’t touch his food content to just watch her guzzle her meal and drown it with his coffee.

He looked at the clock on the store’s wall knowing it was almost time to pick up Ryan, the flight home was slower than he preferred but he hadn’t minded for Helena seemed to withstand this speed a lot better.

“Hey… not to worry or anything but… you did… you did sign me out of school, right?” her voice was filled with anxiety.

“What do you mean?”

As she looked at the high rises around her, she looked at her phone and the 54 missed calls from you.

“Did you tell mom, you were picking me up, right?” She cringed as the phone rang and her battery drained a little further– right!!?”

“No, why?”

“You might wanna park for a second, dude.”

Homelander begrudgingly agreed, putting the bubble down on top of the nearest silver roof.

“Who died?” Helena said.

“WHERE ARE YOU!!!???” your voice might’ve broken the speaker if it went up one more decibel– are you o-okay!? Helena, please tell me where are you!!? Please tell me you’re safe!!” Your voice was cracked and hoarse.

“I’m fine. wha…”

“Okay honey, baby, am going to… oh my god… I got this call from the school and there’s these cops and Ashley trying to find you, baby! Where are you!?”

“Cops…?” Homelander asked, trying to look for strange sounds in the distance.

“Please honey.”

She looked at her father while you frantically spoke to some unseen stranger, covering the mouthpiece.

“You fucking clown. You’re so going to owe me… like… you have no idea what you gonna make me do, you owe me.”

“Why are the cops involved?” he ignored her overtly aggressive tone for the moment.

“You kidnapped me!!! The Homelander’s daughter just got kidnapped of course they would call the cops!! They would call the cops for any kid who just vanishes from school you idiot!! That’s why you tell people!!”

“I need permission to pick up my own kid from school!!?”

“Yes!!” She took the phone to her ear– mom… I just ditched school. I was bored… am in” Helena looked around– Harlem.” Her voice monotone as she shot daggers at her father– I… I am sorry.”

“Helena… okay… okay am… am gonna see if I can get your father… he’s been on some mission but I… I dunno… am just so glad you’re okay, baby. I swear you’re not in trouble.” You cry and mumble towards an unseen and unheard strangers– okay baby they’re gonna track your phone and send somebody to pick you up…”

“Is not necessary. I’ll just float there…” 

“Helena what’s wrong?” Your heart breaks as her voice is so cold, more performative than her usual tone.

“I’m embarrassed… I… I didn’t think… sorry. I’ll get there…” her voice is jittery, her nerves infect you as if something unseen its making her feel like this, hitting you how powerless you were as the line died mid vowel.

She hung, staring at the screen.

“Write your alibi.”

“Why… why did you do that?”

“Because you’ll get in trouble.” She said sternly– next time just text mom before you do anything… how would you feel if mom took Ryan and didn’t tell you? or the school?”

As she walked towards the ledge, she turned to face her father, whose ears had just begun to pick up on the extra bustling happening nearby, like incoming mosquitos in the room.

“I forgot to tell you… but there’s this man called William… William Butcher and he wants me dead. Your mother thought he might do something against you” He bit his lips– that’s probably why she’s so upset and why that helicopter it’s heading towards Harlem.”

He pointed to the east but her sight didn’t pick up anything abnormal.

“I want to go to Disneyland.” She put her phone back in her backpack– and we are gonna do the queues, and you’re gonna eat those disgusting turkey legs on that sweltering california heat and you'll not complain– now this is what its gonna happen you’re gonna pick me up, I’ll pretend to have some sort of depressive episode that caused me to just fuck off scaring everybody and I called you to pick me up just now… your phone was on mute and you just notice, good?”

“Is it really that bad?” He found everything an absolutely ridiculous overreaction– am your dad, you were safe.”

“Today never happened. Or we both are screwed. Trust me it's that bad.”

Arriving at the school in her father’s arms, two police officers awaited for her arrival alongside yourself, a man with a Vought badge was bickering on the phone a few meters away aswell.

“Look who I found.” Homelander was quick to sell it at the sight of palpable distress, you ran towards Helena ripping her off his hands.

Even Ryan had been brought seemingly questioned about where his sister might’ve been.

The collar of his suit never felt so tight before, as it did just then.

Arriving at the home, she was sentence to a month of house arrest– no Vought labs or any unsupervised activities, lucky to just get the one week suspension for skipping school and not worse, Homelander thankfully had smooth things out with the police who almost shouted an amber alert after seeing Vought lose their minds… which necessitated a meeting afterwards, Homelander couldn’t fault Ashley for her panic attack after hearing the news and finding him awol, he was instead glad to see her lenghts of her dedication to him.

“I think we should also go to all the theme parks.” She grumbled putting her kindle down.

The clock reading past midnight.

“Everything is an opportunity to learn, no?” Homelander enter through the glass door, making sure to keep an eye on you as you sleep poorly– hope this makes you feel better.”

He took a yellow envelope from behind his back, it was thin and had a small pink bow, Helena ripped it off his hands, staring back at him as she ripped the glued seal off, the thin paper made her frown dissipate as her eyes digested the present.

“You’re gifting me Vought Stock?” She stares at the document as her mouth drops slightly.

"I have money to spare… perks of being the top dog for over twenty years– I get money from merch and films too, y’know.”

“These are over seventeen-hundred a pop.” She looked back at her father, and suddenly the man appeared  alien to her, he was a different breed indeed– are you sure? Is a lot of money”

“I barely do anything with it. I… I think by the time you’re 18 you could use the money you made from those to get yourself your own big girl seat with the shareholders.” He looks around her room, at the bare walls feeling uneasy, his eyes fixate on the picture of a stranger’s cat wearing a witch’s hat taken in what he could only guess was a dining room– still haven’t sorted the will situation, but don’t worry about money at all. Once I marry your mother it would all have been be dealt with.”

Homelander sat on her desk, leaning his behind on the wooden surface.

“We’re still going to disneyland” Homelander curses internally trying to not look like he was dying– could’ve just gotten me a squishmellow tho.” 

“Do I have to eat the turkey leg…?”

“Yes.”

“Please don’t do this to me” he half-jokingly begs.

“I feel nothing.”

Pouting like a kid, he looks to the ground feeling defeated, looking around, catching your snoozes in the backdrop, you had been so stressed you virtually passed out the moment your head touched the pillow, ypu had been arguing with him about never ever putting his phone on mute again, making him do the rounds of apology about Helena’s behaviour with both Vought, the local police and the school alongside you.

Homelander had grown guilty after seeing just how concerned Ryan had become over the ordeal while watching you comfort him, while your daughter got the talk from the uniformed men and the dean.

Yet you had gone out of your way to call him before bed.

“Your mom said I could visit while you’re grounded… she said you invited me for dinner…”

“Oh it's ‘cuz I told her that she should build a room for Ryan in the empty office so you guys can stay over. You’re engaged. It's weird to live separately but… baby-steps so the kid doesn’t get stressed too much, I mean your last girlfriend was a lunatic.”

“Starlight did turn out to be a loonie.”

“I meant Stormfront…”

“I didn’t know who she was…I was just a man who–

“There’s no cameras here my brother is christ– just one look at her records in Portland, and you would’ve noticed a pattern.”

“I just thought she would get over it after she realized I don’t care… like… am better than humans, we are better than humans… Don’t know why she grouped herself with them.” He scoffed.

“How supportive of you– pretending to care about her interest for pussy… what a chad move.” she scoffed putting the present on her nightstand– Mom did warn me about boys like you.”

“How do you know what tha– and what??”

“I’m in the tenth grade. Surrounded by 16 year olds. I’ve been mentally compromised– either way mom and I are gonna go to buy furniture for his bedroom tomorrow. Thank me later.”

She moved to her bed, pushing her few plush toys to the ground.

“By the way… what’s that playdate you had in mind?” her finger hovered on top of the lamp’s switch.

“They want Phantasma and Poltergeist as the new heads of Teenage Kix for when you’re older and ready. I think that’s too small… the name its too loaded, too many fuck ups after that second gen, b.s.” He stares at her and sees a brilliant future, hearing the chanting of adoring fans screaming for his children’s attention– they want to use that platform to launch our real international program… countries have been in bidding wars for the last couple months to have the first overseas hero program… So far only Japan, France, Brazil and Singapore have successfully been approved for the program. We have a couple open slots… lots of offers from India and the UK.  I want you to head that program– Ryan is great… he’ll lead this nation as their top hero but you– it would be too small for a brain like yours… I was thinking “The Watch” for a name. Catchy, no? Thought you might want to meet your future team-mates... they are a little older than you but...``

“I think I can get mom behind. Either way I should go to bed."

She said nervously.

Homelander smiled moving towards her to tuck her for the night, giving her a good night kiss as he turned the light’s off.

“Wait!”

He turned in a panic, his hand already on the door handle.

“...” She dug on her nightstand cabinet pulling out that Dr. Seuss book– we… we didn’t finish it… would you read it for me?”

Homelander had never seen the dark be so vibrant before, he sat on her bed taking the thin booklet in his hand before clearing his throat.

“I won’t do any funny voice so don’t worry.”

“Is okay if you want to…”

A smile melted into his face.

She watched his shape disappear, that night she dreamt of endless camera flashes.

As the weeks built up, Helena found herself spending more and more time with the other half of her family.

She had helped build the guest room, picking toys and wallpaper and her brother was appreciative.

Watching from a distance while next to him, no matter how much she looked at him she had little desire to interact with him on her own accord, the more she watched you try to sweeten him up, making him ziti and taking him out… the more bitter aftertaste his name left on her tongue.

Ryan was an easy child, painfully normal, nothing special if he hadn’t come pre-packed with superpowers… powers just like their father… he could fly, had laser vision, super strength and durability, and super senses… eyes just as blue, so much like their father. 

So boring… just a copy, no? she kept thinking.

Where was his spark? Where was the zest?

What made him actually special and great?

All he did was be cute, play with his toys and bore her to death. Talking to him was just a chore, nothing different from speaking to the average civilian., these thoughts plagued her mind.

As they sat together at the dining table, she looked at you then at her father and wondered just how much of a nuisance this kid would be for her future… she thought of her father’s vision…“The Watch” trying to decipher what could he possibly have set up for Ryan. The Seven? Really that’s all? Just a face in a lunchbox and nothing else… how quaint, she thought.

With every bite and sauce stain on her napkin, her anxiety took all the flavor from her meal… he was a threat… she thought of the unsorted will situation, no doubt still failing to include her– stocks could open doors to financial stability in the case her father died or lost his position, or you fucked it up with him… but it wasn’t a fraction of what he would leave Ryan, of the safety net underneath him.

But above all as she thought of the large behemoth on New York city skylines waiting for her... he could not stand in her way to take the kingdom.

Kingslayer. 

She could live with that… all the greats had done it… a sibling, a son, an uncle and father decapitated here and there, it be easier if she could shave his head and send it to a monastery to live as an eunuch… to kill the competition earlier on was easy that a drawn out battle killing thousands– butcher him as cleanly as she could.

Why would he miss him, anyhoo? Who would miss him? He had nothing… no mom and a finicky father, just a name that could slip thru the cracks, Helena thought.

She giggled at his joke, sat by his side as they watched a movie after dinner, shared her popcorn and said nothing when you offered your lap to let him rest, said nothing as you brushed his hair with your fingers.

Butcher… the moment ceases to play in her mind, her eyes seeing floating words cover the whole living room– a simple slip up from Homelander… William Butcher… Ryan had been Ryan Butcher once according to his file at work… who was Becca Saunders? She had only ogled the file for the briefest second… he had said it back at the house… passed him as her husband’s kid… who was this William that was so dangerous his name was comically apt. and how much did his wife dissapearance had affected him.

She would keep it in her back pocket.

So here she was on her way to a class field trip to the Smithsonian, her father and two other chaperoned the class, gawking at his recently retouched roots from her seat, more than looking out the passenger window, a girl sat on her side texting to her friends, there was a buzz in the bus as the teenagers came to realize Homelander of all people had come to chaperone their excursion, one of the moms had wasted no time trying to befriend the Supe, her social skills enviable as she chatted him up with ease… already trading baby photos, and asking him about his skincare routine complaining about how dry her skin got around this time of year, and other banalities.

The trip was everything she had expected– except for Homelander becoming an impromptu tour guide, going on a rather in-depth discussion on great American mammals, and the tragedy of the American buffalo with the tour guide.

Helena had gotten excited at the marine exhibitions which thankfully some kids found her explanation interesting, Homelander was proud to see her and two kids discuss whales. On the other end of the spectrum there was her father doing his best to contain his excitement at the sight of Theodore Roosevelt… The man had an encyclopedic knowledge of American presidents and their achievements. One would think he was staring at some invisible monitor feeding him information– regardless there was something sweet as he sat Helena next to the bronze statue of Theodore for a picture, turning the camera quickly on himself, that the other parents noticed, the chatty mom finding it beyond adorable, reminding her of her own little boy.

As the classrooms took a second to relax and have lunch, she saw no alternative but to sit next to him.

“Do you have an earpiece or something?” 

“What? I can’t know stuff?” He scoffed sipping briefly on his coffee.

“Just thought your interior designer just put those president portraits in your house for the bit… like that poster in your bedroom.”

“I like history.” he mumbled, looking a tad shy to admit it, as if it was some dirty secret– am I embarrassing you?”

“No…? I’ve never seen you this excited before.” He blushed, glad that it wasn’t anything bad.

That smile would fade away as they headed to one of the final exhibitions… “American Super” a new exhibition focused on… you guessed it… Superheroes. 

This was a collection of Vought’s finest, hero suits adorning the way in their glass cases, as pretty text explained the inspirations and significance of the suit’s symbolism and how it represented the ideas and personalities of their heroes, on the evolution on textile engineering and how superhero suits helped pave ways of innovation, it was decades of Vought culminating on ‘The Seven’ and some of Goldolkin’s promising students– there was something grim at the sight of his own suit inside a box.

“Where the fuck did they get the red cape from?” He mumbles, the tour guide turned to him to explain, which did not make him feel any less queasy.

“Wow… he isn’t just a massive nerd but also had to be here to show off? pathetic.”

Helena stared at the girl who had whispered towards her friends, them chortling together.

As the tour continued, the man considered briefly murdering the girl, thinking of how easy he could make it look like an accident, he knew her name and address after all– disposing of her should be easy.

His mood soured and his build-up of excitement had completely vanished, picking on every snide and mock comment from the group, spouting the same bullshit of your everyday Starlight supporter– it had been at the mention of his complicitess on those Maeve’s conspiracies where he had grown visibly irked, and unable to hide it.

“You can’t touch them.” Helena tugged on his sleeve pointing at his face– Your eyes…”

“Is okay they’re just stupid children who stare at their phones for too long.” He looked at the bust of Translucent thinking of how they got his hairline wrong– "I wouldn't have come if I knew this was on…”

“Really you didn’t want to see another 1:1 recreation of your childhood bedroom.”

“I want to go home.” He cried as they followed the tour guide, they stopped to ask about the room with excitement which he easily matched after years of selling himself so cheaply– it’s like they picked it up and just dropped it here.”

Both noted how even the carved rabbit bookend was present on this bookshelf.

As they headed for departure, Helena hurried up the stairs catching the girls behind her, she gave her father a cheeky look, pursing her lips behind her finger, flinging her arm absetmindledly as he raised a solitary eyebrow… All there was was the sound of bodies crashing and crying.

A shattered bone, and whining.

He smiled just for her.

And she smiled just for him, before running towards him pretending to have been frightened by the sound, as a crowd built itself and a teacher rushed towards the commotion.

“I think she dances or something… not with that knee anymore.” She whispered into his chest.

“Thank you.” he whispered in her ear, holding her tightly before leaving for superhero duty.

It had to add a line on the tally, no?

Taglist-- @immyowndefender @demodemo909 @fromforeigntofamiliarity @ghqstfqce

apologies for lenghts but hope y'all like it

[iu-jjang]

[FANCAFE] 23.09.18 IU replies to uaena’s comments on her fancafe (Part 1)

IU replying to her own post:

Ah I forgot to mention one thing..

I really wanted to at least attend one of the movie screenings today and do a surprise stage greeting… but there’s a really big scene to be filmed today and I’m not in Seoul right now..ㅠㅠ I tried to arrange my schedule since a month ago, but it’s a scene that many actors appear on set together and matching everyone’s schedules is like catching a star in the sky, so it was difficult for me to meet uaenas today, whatt ㅠㅠ!!! Just saying in case there are any uaenas looking at the door, waiting for me to make my appearance and not being able to enjoy the movie today..

Uaena: I cried so much that I took a crying selca, unnie… if you read this on stage, I would have been submerged (in tears)…

IU: Show us -clap- show us -clap-

Uaena: I’m curious about whether you had your dinner, whether you’re filming right now, whether you’ve been sleeping well lately. I love you.

IU: I just reached my accomodations, washed up and wrote this letter. I’m going to bed now. Tomorrow will be a busy day from early morning to night! Nowadays, the moment my butt touches something, I fall asleep kekekeke 😍 Goodnight!!!!

Uaena: I was looking forward to (your surprise appearance), but it’s ok! We can’t ruin jingjjang’s schedule! Have a safe trip back. You worked hard for today’s momo concert!!! I’m wondering if you saw the uaena waving goodbye to you as you left? ㅠ

IU: Of course I saw all of it 😌 There were many people holding slogans and I saw many lightsticks too, so I put in effort to look at them, but I was told not to open the window for safety reasons, so I couldn’t open my window. Sorry ㅜㅜ

Uaena: -long post which mentioned that uaena’s love for IU is not one-sided but reciprocated by IU-

IU: What do you mean one-sided!!😡🔥🔥 I love you!!

Uaena: Unnie, when exactly do you sleep? Please sleep well! This middle schooler uaena will be going to bed first hehe Have a good night 🫶🏻

IU: Nowadays, I almost always sleep at midnight!!! After my middle school days, it’s the first time I’m having a routine lifestyle again 😍😍

Uaena: I really want to ask whether you think a serious bread includes salty bread. 🤨

IU: Salty bread looks cute, so it’s an excited bread.(TL note: IU mentioned before on IU TV that she prefers sweet bread and doesn’t like ‘serious’ bread like garlic baguette or pizza bread or sausage bread which tastes of food.)

Uaena: Has your skin recovered from the mosquito bite??? I noticed you stuck a sticker to hide it cutely today kiki

IU: … It keeps swelling up..ㅠㅠ I think this evil mosquito released its poison all the way inside my bones (insert mosquito bite selca)

Uaena: Jieun noona, have you watched the show in the movie theatre?! It’s almost like going back again to last year, it’s no joke!!

IU: Have I watched it, or have I not~?

Uaena: I’m curious about the drink you often order from the coffee truck. Please let us know your TMI.

IU: Babamba latte. When it’s hot, I go for ICE, when it’s cold, I go for HOT 😌 (TL note: It’s a mix of chesnut, walnut and milk with some honey)

Uaena: Have you seen the Unique Dayooki (TL note: IU 15th anniv contest on fancafe)?! The creations are hilarious 💜

IU: Uaena are.. really (in a good way) crazy.

Uaena: Unnie, to you what is the most legendary song of Golden Hour?

IU: The 3rd section of the concert is really… awesome…

Uaena: How are things between you and your brother lately?

IU: Getting better as we get older 👍

IU replying to herself:

Ah I really need to go to bed now!! 🐥🐥🐥🐥 I’m really going to bed!!! I’ll be back tomorrow if I have time during my breaks. Today is an important day for us ❤️ Let’s keep the conversation going. Goodnight!!! 😊😊😊

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[beatrizamante]

First of all, I'd like to thank @renru @reesevernerlovebot @honeylemonbutte and Bee too (I believe I don't follow her ç.ç) for giving me the courage to start posting these. And @lacunafiction for thins wonderful story omg, I love her book.

_Fallen Stars

There were books sprawled all over the floor. Astronomy, physics, star charting ones. Papers and journals filled with equations that were almost impossible to read, covering up huge constellation maps made by hand. Doctor Yu used to joke that you'd write even on the walls of the lab, given the chance. 

Well, you're in your Pa's old apartment now, there's nothing stopping you. If you had some neon blue makers, you'd be sure to write down your chartings, it would look beautiful at night. Maybe people would lock you up in an asylum this time? You know that, if Dr. Yu ever hears someone repeat this to you, you’d fear for the person’s wellbeing. You got this style of brainstorming from Dr Kuiper, after all, and the trio of you were best friends since freshman years.

Dr. Lara de Armas, the astrophysicist. Dr. Sieben Kuiper, the mathematician. Dr. Morgan Yu, the engineer. 

You guys made some amazing discoveries and built amazing things together. You miss them dearly. 

But that's not important right now. Well, you did trail off a little bit... A portion of the wall south of the kitchen had some scribblings on. Huh, you gonna have to clean that later... Or not? It could be related to art, right? Right? 

The intention was to put a monitor in that wall, anyway. Nobody has to see this. Yes, good plan, big brain. 

The apartment was still getting its new decor. There were some boxes of new purchases you intended to use in this place. You've already asked for some midnight blue wallpapers. And the kitchen had some new utensils for you to use whenever you had another sudden craving for strawberry smoothies.

But where did you put your telescope...? Too many boxes! Too many boxes!! 

Your thoughts are derailing again, aren't them? Ugh. 

Focus! 

Today was a special day, after all... 

The wristwatch beeped and you stared at the time with a slight frown. There was still about an hour to gather your things and go. Getting up from the mess you were, you ask yourself how that marker ended up in your hands, but there isn’t much time to dwell on it. 

There’s a smile on your face. A happy one. The kind of happiness that Bee would instantly click a picture of. 

A meteor shower today was the cause for your happiness. You were the first one to discover it. Dr Yu even tinkered with your telescope for you to get a better view. 

You wish they were here. The bright smile on your face dampens a little bit. But there's no time to lose. So, you march around the mess in your apartment and gather your things. 

Telescope? Check

Chartings? Check

Camera for stargazing? Check

Something to sit on? Check

Time to go, Lara. 

Things were loaded in your car especially fast, even if with all the gentleness in the world. There was a humming beneath your breath, a soft melody, your body moving at your tune without much thought.

       " - Ok, Frodo, how are you gonna name it?   

- Just because you're taller than me, doesn't mea- 

- Hmmm, I'd called it the one ri-

- You're a brute, you know that? 

- Morgan, stop annoying my student! 

- I'm sorry, Dr. Kuiper. Now, now, Doctor de Armas, would you name it? You're the one who found its trajectory first, after all. 

- It already has a name... It's a perseid!  

- Are all astrophysicists this uncreative? Come on, give it a name. What would you call it?

- Uncreative? You called your arm bot "Morg_4rm".

- Better than perseid, still. Go on.

- Ugh! Possibly Ocean fall.? Ocean... drops?... Scintillans falls! 

- I like the sound of that. Keep at it, Sam.

- I detest Yu. 

       "  

Oh! You've forgotten something! There’s nothing to drink! That's why you stop at the diner, right...? Right? 

Well, it doesn't matter, you're parched and when the diner enters in your field of view, you don't rummage your brain as for the "whys". The fact that you have butterflies in your stomach doesn't register instantly. Did you eat something you shouldn't? 

Your pulse just spiked up? There was no physical activity today. Well, Mal did show you a beautiful place that he may not even know how much it meant to you. You can always bring him photos of the shower!

Why are you thinking of him right now, though? Oh, right! Because you're at the diner! And he's interesting! You like his company, even if can be really charged. The fact that your heart, at the thought of him, makes you feel like a little rabbit, doesn't matter. Must be the lack of sleep. Nothing about that cheek kiss? It can't be, right? It is because he knows too much about this town and you’re trying to understand what he is. Surely!  

You find yourself inside the diner, your mind still wandering to a certain lake, the brightest smile on your face. Except when those hellish creepy spoons sound like an undead knocking in the glass. You hate those, sparing them a murderous glare. 

Clyde welcomes you, mimicking your smile, and you go instantly to ask for some tea and energy drink to pack while your eyes wander. You're just taking in the diner. It's not like you already had the whole blueprint of the building in your mind. You're just taking the ambient in, right? 

Right!

Must be nothing aside from that.

"Someone seems extra bright today, Ms. De Armas!", Clyde comments from his place at the cooking top, cleaning his spatula from some leftover batter. He's cooking some pancakes? The smell makes your stomach rumble. Haven’t you eaten today? Well, it doesn't matter, you can eat later. 

"Nighty night, Clyde! Today is a special day, after all! I'll bring you guys some photos from a phenomena that only happens once a year. And we've managed to get some cobalt reading in this year's batch, so-", you stop suddenly when you see confusion in the chef's face. You manage to breathe in a little bit, slowing down your thinking process to make sense for the middle-aged man, a softer smile on your face. "Pardon me, Clyde. I got a bit caught up. But there will be a meteor shower today, in about... ", you stop to look at your wristwatch, pouting a little bit, "40 minutes. It's going to be to the west, and it will look like ocean blue stars."

The old chef returns your enthusiasm, smiling back at you with energy. "Then you'll need these as fast as we can make it. Maybe a special someone can make the tea just the way you prefer and you can take him with you?", the suggestion in his tone takes you off guard for a moment and you fumble with your words, blushing hard. 

Wait, he means the drinks! Yeah, totally the drinks! Hundred percent sure... You think? 

It wouldn’t make sense otherwise, right? 

Ugh, some social cues are hard to read.

"I'd... love that!", your eyes sparkle with delight. If you manage to make it to the spot you encountered earlier, you for sure will have a great view of the event. Your hands tremble in excitement. There’s also the need to go fast, though, it’s a thought you don’t quite enjoy.

That’s when you feel it. It begins as a featherlight sensation in the nape of your neck and travels down. Your hair stands up at the end and a shivering sensation crawls beneath your skin. The bright smile vanishes from your face, replaced by an intense focus. Your gaze rests in every exit of the diner, trying to understand where the sensation comes from and where you can take cover, if needed. There’s a slight pressure in the back of your neck. Annoys you so deeply that you can’t understand why this is happening. You stand below a hanging cupboard, it acts as a protection for your thoughts as you analyze the diner. If you can pinpoint the direction it comes from, maybe yo - 

“Hey there, Charmer.”, the voice comes from behind your left. It’s a honeyed tone, slightly hushed if not amused, as if you both were sharing a secret. You didn’t notice him coming. Not that this is abnormal. Is his modus operandi, after all. But you were not expecting to be taken off guard, so his sudden awake gives your body a slight jump and you hit your head in the cupboard, releasing a pathetic “Yiiik!”. You instantly protect your slightly throbbing head, looking back at him with watery eyes. 

 “Mal? Hey!”, your eyes abandon the diner and are naturally drawn to him. You don’t stop to think about how it is always like this. Exits, covers and possible weapons forgotten, shoved back to the back of your mind. The shivering sensation, though, intensifies. You wonder if it’s the cold coming from the fridge. You can hear its motor in the back of the diner, and the place where you are can be an air duct for both cold and hot air masses to meet. He is dressed in his diner uniform, holding a bag in front of your face. There’s a very disarming smile on his lips. Lips that you're so not staring. Shaking your head slightly, you smile up at him, flushing heavily. “Something could’ve fallen from the cupboard, so be careful, please? But it’s ama- great! Great to see you!”

His smile becomes less disarming, and a touch more genuine. His eyes are hypnotic to you, so you decide to stare at the diner bag. Maybe you should take some medicine for your heart, something is surely not right. But the shivers stop, replaced by a warmth you don’t quite understand. Weird. 

Especially because Mal didn’t move a muscle. 

“Something falling would be the least of this place's problems, wouldn’t it?”, you slightly narrow your eyes as his mysterious words, opening your mouth to say something, but he just continues. “Besides, having something falling for you wouldn’t be so bad.”

Oh! Oh…  Ok. Remember. Night sky. Ocean Blue meteorites. Don’t stare too much. You have other things to see tonight… And he’s just being friendly, right? Right! 

DON’T THINK ABOUT THE NOTE HE TUCKED IN YOUR BACK POCKET. I SAID DON’T! 

Friends do that, right? Is it a normal thing? 

And the way you felt about it… You weren’t expecting any kind of slap, it wouldn’t make sense. Who likes to get slapped? 

Not that you liked his hand in… You know what? You’re not going there.

Is it a social cue? You know your lack of actual romantic relationships makes it harder to navigate these things… But Mal doesn’t see you that way… Not him, and not with you…

… You think. 

The way he phrases things, though? Why does it slam you with so much strength? It confuses you a bit… He barely knows you, you don’t even know his full name yet. 

Then why do you feel like you’re lying to yourself?  

“I - I… Well, thanks for bringing me these. I told Clyde about the meteor shower tonight, would you like some photos? I wish you could see them first hand…”, you say, a dreaming look in your eyes fills Mal’s vision. Something passes through his expression as his jaw sets, your curious look isn’t answered, as per usual, so you just let a soft smile take place in our lips. Pushing is something you don’t enjoy when it’s done to you, so you won’t do it to him either.   

“Mal, why don’t you take some hours off? Ms. De Armas may need some help carrying those bags!”, the line cook shouts from his spot at the cooktop. There’s a huge smile on his face as he points at the duffel bags resting on the table you’ve put them on, when you’ve arrived at the diner.

Again, Mal’s expression shifts. You were too busy listening to Clyde’s offer to notice. His jaw tenses and the customer service smile in his face dies. He looks at you, giving nothing away. Is he expecting your reaction? Is he angry at Clyde for offering? You know something always stops Mal from spending any time with you unless late in the night, but you don’t understand or know why. You want to ask, but you know you won’t receive an answer. You’re still pulling the puzzle pieces together. Maybe when you get the whole picture, it will make sense. 

“Well, uhm, do you want to come? You don’t need to, I have… 22 minutes to get there. It’s around 15 km, so I can get there in time if I get a constant velocity o-... Oh, sorry. Again, you don’t need to go, I won’t be sad or anything, I always go alone on these. And I can bring photos!”, you stumble. You have to stop being too specific about things. Is something you got from Dr. Kuiper. 

“What a server wants isn’t really ever questioned in our line of work, Charmer.”, Mal smoothly replies. You glance at him quickly, a trace of sadness in your face. You wish you could help him. He doesn’t seem happy with his role. Truth be told, behind all of that confidence, there’s a deep sorrow, for what you could detect. You won’t overextend here, you don’t want to burden him. As you did with Bee. What if you have to leave, and he expects you to come back, like Reese and James did. What if you put him in danger, as you did to Silas. 

No. You won’t pile up your list of wrongdoings. 

Giving him a soft look and smiling in a way that draws his eyes, you nod. The waiter rests his left hand in the cupboard above you, his knuckles turning white. You take a step forward with intention towards the exit, looking at your duffel bags after taking the drinks from his hand with the same delicateness that you would use to take care of your telescope. There’s a slight movement from him, as if he wanted to reach out, but you don’t linger in that. “I care about your wants, Mal. So you don’t need to do anything on my behalf. Tell me if you need anything, ok?”  

“Lara…“, he speaks in a hushed voice, staring at the increasing separation of your personal spaces with a hard expression. His customer service smile isn’t coming up so easily at this moment, you wonder why. You collect your things and wave at Clyde, smiling. The line cook looks between you and your bags, giving a sad smile. You thought Mal would’ve already disappeared, but he stays there, holding the cupboard like it’s the only thing he can hold onto right now. You lift the diner bag in his direction and give him a smiling farewell.

Your steps are wide. Well, as wide as they can be, given your height. There’s somewhere to be, after all. Even if there’s a nagging feeling in the back of your mind wishing you were sharing this with someone. But you always did this alone, so why change now? Reese passes through your mind, and your heart beats a little faster at him sharing this with you. But is it him that you wanted to share this so badly?

No, you’ll do it alone, as it has been done for so many years. It brings you peace. Something needed right now.

The drive is free of any danger, as it always is with you in the wheel. Bags are unpacked with efficiency and speed, setting everything up is a matter of a few minutes. You’ve noticed this cliff surrounded by a bed of flowers and overlooking a lake some days prior, and knew this would be the perfect spot for your “Scintillans falls”. The trek was eventless and gave you some time to enjoy the nature around Fernweh. Even with everything awful that happened in this town, you can never deny how beautiful it is. It makes you wonder, if these things didn’t happen, this place would be a haven.

The night was unusually dark, even with a half moon illuminating the surroundings. You brought a small blue weak lantern and laid it within the towel beneath you. The wristwatch beeped again. It was time. Setting the camera and fixing the telescope, you began stargazing. 

A soft wind blew around you as the stars fell down, painting the skies in a blue hue. The colors of the ocean on a sunny day brightened it, as if hundreds of bright blue fishes jumped down from a huge waterfall. It was mesmerizing. 

How would this starlight frame Mal’s face? 

No, uhuh, not going there. 

Then your mind finds another thought that you shouldn’t linger… But it's there, anyway.

You wonder if your family is between them, traveling through the skies, watching over you with the love they always had. You miss them. More than you care to admit. It should’ve been me. 

You hear a faint noise in the distance. Maybe a motorcycle? But your mind is too occupied right now to pay attention. There’s a lone tear lining your right cheek that you fail to notice.

Blinking against it, you start to take pictures. 

It’s beautiful tonight. 

[moonshynecybin]

hello i remembered u had a rosquez dw au so i scrolled through your dw tag and ended up reading posts from 2013. lol.

BUT!!! tell me more abt the dw au… doomsday happens and vale leaves marc in petes world… they reunite right? RIGHT? how does marc get back and HOW will they be happy together forever. i will not accept tragedy

genuinely doctor who au is all i think about thank you for this...

so doomsday goes down basically the same and marc is trapped!!!! in another dimension separated from vale... both of them stay cheeks pressed to the wall for hourssss after that portal closes. like one perfect tear rolling down vale's face. normally joyful impish expression shut down gaunt and dead. alex has to tear marc away from that wall.

and so marc decides. the unbreakable rules of science and dimensionality are keeping me from the love of my life AND our wonderful death-defying hobby of time travelling adventures that i am equally obsessed with. well i will simply find a way to break these unbreakable rules and transverse dimensions. and he does! he joins torchwood and works day and night mainlining coffee burning the midnight oil obsessed and ignoring what is actually healthy for his body in that fun marc way of his. until he and his team have developed a protype they think might work! he (of course) volunteers to test it and ZOOOM shoots into his home universe.

meanwhile vale is uh. season four tenth doctor level unwell without marc. like he is very much a person who needs people around him and travelling ALONE right after losing marc ummmm he isnt doing good lol. like he is embracing the god complex. he is slightly manic. he is crying a lot. he is staring at any short jacked guy with dark hair like a war widow. bright eyes absolutely dead. its bad. anyways its been a minute since ive watched s4 of doctor who but BASICALLY. all of this + the plot comes to a head and marc lands back in his home-dimension right inside the literal end of the world and also like a hundred yards from vale and the gang (academy kids?? WOULD be funny)

so they see each other after YEARSSSSSSS and the world is ending but they dont care!!!! they start running at FULL fucking speed at each other they forget EVERYTHING else... and ofc then theyre like ten feet away when ZAP! vale gets tagged by a dalek and um. well the plot happens again sorry cant remember. THE IMPORTANT THING IS: through science fiction bullshit and regeneration stuff and the POWER OF LOVE!!!!!!! vale turns human :) and that means he can stay with marc for the rest of their lives <3 and the second and i mean SECOND marc figures this out he nearly tackles him —stretches up on his tiptoes, fist full of vale's collar—and lays one on him crazy style... and theyre both like. almost smiling too hard to even kiss... faces still desperately glued together... vale cops a feel... and they live happily ever after <3 and marc pops back into his home universe to grab alex at some point that is non-negotiable lol

[crybaby-bkg]

hi!! i have an extremely specific question kind of based (not really) around "our love is god”. kinda like if things went a bit differently… I would like your input :)

hypothetically, reader has her birthday while broken up with satoru. and its an important one! reader and he had broken up somewhat amicably and its been almost four months. satoru and reader have not interacted more than twice (a petty argument and a whole 'I miss you' mess) in the two months directly after break up that tore reader up! anyways, reader needed TIME and SPACE. not a full breakup for all of eternity. reader and satoru were friends before so they both just wanted that feeling of home back. so reader has her birthday and she has been waiting for two months to finally be ready to go back to him. and she's decided that she was going to wait for him to reach out first to gauge where they’re at. if he reaches out, he still cares, maybe even still loves her and wants to be with her. Its been two months since he reached out with a dragged out version of “I love you and miss you and will always care for you but I am okay with whatever you decide to do (even if that is to never speak to me again) and I will leave everything moving forward between us in your hands”. But if he doesn’t, reader figures that maybe he doesn’t care or love her at all, maybe he’s moved on and has a new girl, a bunch of negatives basically. So her birthday comes and she hears nothing from him and decides to fully remove any and everything of him from her life and give her all into moving on fully. 

Would OLIG Satoru leave her high and dry on her special day post break up to respect her space or would he go out of his way to tell her hbd? < Even if it’s the simplest “Happy Bday” text. How would he go about the situation and what do you personally think he should do? 

So sorry if this is an uncomfortable, weird ask. Pls feel no obligation to respond. I loved the fic and will commenting on AO3 once I get my bearings together lol. Much love to you <333

𝐿

omg please don’t apologize!!!! OLIG is one of my fav fics and this is like the first legit question I’ve gotten for it so this made my day 😭😭😭

but this was such a good question!!!!! in all honesty, I don’t think he would text reader. he used to be the one who would send the first text at midnight with a prepared paragraph he’s been writing days in advance. but you wanted space, didn’t you? didn’t want to be bombarded and overwhelmed with his love, right?

so he doesn’t say anything for most of the day, even though reader is just anticipating it lowkey since the clock struck midnight. but there are three different routes I’m stuck between:

1. he doesn’t text you. at all. doesn’t call, doesn’t DM you, nothing. he doesn’t even acknowledge it until days later when he ‘runs’ into you by coincidence, throwing in a “oh and happy birthday” halfway into small talk when you can’t escape him. it feels flippant, like he doesn’t care to remember anymore, but that hurts too much to think about.

2. he, again, doesn’t text you but he DOES ‘just so happen’ to show up at the place you’re celebrating your birthday at. eases his way into the little restaurant he’s taken you to too many times to count before. he seems to meet your eye as soon as he walks in, like he knows you’ll always take the corner booth in the back that he fingered you at. and you look shy when he comes up to you, grinning, him and suguru both singing happy birthday to you a little too loud just to embarrass you. and although he goes to his own table, your eyes never leave his the whole night. and maybe he convinces you to forgive him. just for tonight.

3. he DOES text you in the middle of the day. not too long, a pretty standard happy birthday message with one too many heart emojis. he sends you a picture of you from your last birthday, his too big hands squishing your cheeks as you grin at the camera. your heart aches, and maybe it’s a bad idea, but asking him to take you out for drinks on your birthday wouldn’t be the absolute worst idea?

you asked for one answer and I gave you three ALSJSKDJD I hope this was satisfactory though!!!! it really had my mind going (quite possibly for another part to the story 👁️)

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Hampered by Brilliance

Relationship: Gen (sisterly Kaisa/Frida)

Summary: Kaisa is taking a midnight stroll, hoping it will finally quiet her mind, when she spots a familiar face who is having the same issues as her.

Notes: I know I’ve been posting a lot of verse stuff lately, so just so nobody is lost, this has nothing to do with carpe diem or nature vs. nurture. It’s just a one shot set some time after tmk

This fic’s title (and a bunch of the reflections in it) are inspired by the book Learning to Walk in The Dark, by Barbara Brown Taylor. I strongly recommend it if it’s your jam!

Read it on ao3

Small towns were weird. Gossip travelled fast, there was almost nothing to do in your free time, and you couldn’t ever walk anywhere if you didn’t feel like meeting someone you knew. But they had one important quality that Kaisa dearly felt for its absence in Trolberg: being able to see the night sky clearly.

Not that the city was any sort of metropolis or anything, but unfortunately it was just big enough that the only stars she could make out were the brightest ones, and the moon if she wasn’t near the city centre, where the buildings were taller. That night, it was in its waning phase, so all she could see was a thin sliver of silver light above her head, indicating it was just past midnight. 

Kaisa yawned after she crossed the last street before arriving at her destination, a lesser known park that was close enough to her apartment that she could walk to it without being run over even though her head ached with exhaustion. That was another thing Trolberg wasn’t small enough to grant them: a complete absence of cars on the streets at night.

Her eyes had closed when she had opened her mouth to let the warm air out of her, but when she opened them, she realised that there was someone sitting at the only bench in that park. Curious, she thought, because she’d been going there often at around that same time at night for the last month, and she’d yet to see someone else there. Hugging her coat tighter around her, both for the warmth of its furry inner layer and for the feeling of safety, she approached the figure warily at first, afraid of the kind of person she would find in a desolate park in the middle of the night.

First she noticed their stature, and concluded that there was nothing to fear since it was clearly a child. Even she, who was on the smaller side, would be tall compared to the person on the bench, and that was saying something. Then she realised that the child was sitting with her knees bent and her feet just in front of her on the bench, hugging her shins and turning herself into a little ball. And as she got closer and the person’s features became more clearly visible through the lamplight, she realised that she knew who that was.

“Frida?” She whispered into the night air once she was close enough to be relatively sure, hoping a soft tone of voice would be enough to not scare her. It wasn’t, and Frida all but jumped in her seat as she whipped her head to see who it was that had called for her.

“Kaisa.” Looking like a deer in headlights, she breathed out her name. Though she couldn’t figure out why, since surely the girl knew that the librarian posed no threat to her, she kept approaching at as slow a pace as she could. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“That’s okay.” Still speaking softly, Kaisa now stood by the bench, at the opposite side to the one at which Frida was sitting. They were dressed very similarly, both with sweatpants and warm shoes. But instead of a coat, Frida was wearing the jumper which Tildy had knit for her soon after she became her apprentice. 

Frida was clearly uncomfortable. She was gripping the tissue in her pants and avoiding looking at Kaisa directly in her eyes, but she couldn’t just leave her be. In the last few months, the girl had become almost like a little sister for her, and the last thing she could do was look away and pretend she’d never seen her there. Not only because she was the (supposedly) adult one in their relationship, but also because she cared for her more than she had expected to.

“What are you doing here all alone?”

Instead of answering, Frida bit down on her bottom lip and stopped even trying to look at Kaisa’s direction altogether, instead staring straight ahead. There wasn’t much to see there at night; only a couple of poorly cared for trees and flowerbeds overcome with weeds. Kaisa decided to try a different tactic, and gestured to the space by Frida’s side on the bench, figuring that she’d see her doing so out of the corner of her eyes.

“May I sit here?”

At the child’s nod, Kaisa sat down and assumed the same position, with her calves being pressed into the backs of her tights and her arms around her lower limbs. Another car passed by, its bright light making them shut their eyes and retain themselves from covering their ears at the noise. It was so out of place in the eerily night atmosphere that it felt almost anticlimactic, and definitely overwhelming.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Kaisa began. She hadn’t been asked, so she hoped she wasn’t coming across as self centred, but she figured maybe making herself a little vulnerable would give Frida the little push she needed to open up, or to at least allow Kaisa to keep her company. “That happens often to me. It’s awful, you know? Most people, if they sleep six hours they’re fine. Some even manage to stay up all night every now and then and still feel like they’re fully functional. Not me, though. If I don’t get at least eight hours every day, I wake up feeling like I don’t want to live that day at all. And I can’t even call in sick, because I know if I sleep for longer, then my sleeping schedule will be well and truly ruined. So I keep getting up and going to work, and existing like this half dead thing that has a constant headache and is always grumpy and snapping at people she loves because her brain couldn’t do whatever it is that brains do when they’re asleep properly. I hate it. And every night I tell myself that this is the night I’m going to sleep early and I’m going to feel like a new person come morning, but I lay down and I just… can’t. It used to be a sleep procrastination problem, but now I’m just going to bed as soon as I can and I just lie there, thinking about how much time I’ve got to fall asleep until it isn’t possible to get eight hours anymore.”

Even though the girl was still silent, Kaisa could sense that she had her attention. She too had been staring straight ahead as she spoke, but she had caught Frida glancing at her a couple of times.

“I talked to my girlfriend about it some time ago. I wanted to explain why some days - well, most days, during some times of my life - I’m just so downcast and low on energy. I didn’t want her to think it was her fault. She was very understanding, thank the heavens, and she told me about this CBT sleep training thing; I’m not going to pretend to understand it very well. The point is, there’s this premise that you can train your brain to see your bed as a place exclusively for sleeping, apparently? And then once you do that, you start to fall asleep a lot more quickly.”

For the first time since she’d acknowledged Kaisa’s presence, Frida spoke.

“Has it worked?”

Her voice was small and tentative, and more then a bit hopeful as well. It made Kaisa want to scoop the girl up in a hug, but she didn’t know whether they’d reached that stage in their relationship yet, and it would probably be awkward to ask at that moment.

“Honestly, I’m not sure.” She answered, keeping her tone low enough that they could hear the crickets nearby. “I began trying a couple of weeks ago. The suggestion is that once you realise you’re taking too long to sleep, you get up and go do anything else, until you feel yourself truly exhausted and go back to bed. It feels like crap the first mornings, I won’t lie. But supposedly it begins to work later on. I can’t tell you for sure that it works, because the nights in which I’ve managed to fall asleep faster might have been just because I was too damn tired from trying this out to remain awake.”

“Is this what you do?” Frida asked as she picked at her nails. It was something that Kaisa had realised the girl did very often when she was nervous, and would frequently catch her doing it before trying out a difficult spell. “You come here when you can’t sleep?”

The air was crisp and cooled down her lungs when she took a deep breath in. 

“Exactly. I try not to expose myself to too much light since the point is putting me to sleep, so reading and writing are not an option. I’d try meditating, but being still is too hard sometimes. Podcasts generally make me more restless. So here I am.”

The sound of a window nearby closing. A leaf falling to the ground. A breeze that made them curl tighter around themselves. Crickets. Their breath coming steadily in and out of their nostrils. Then, finally, Frida’s voice.

“I couldn’t sleep either.” They still didn’t look at each other, but they were close enough at that point in their friendship that they knew that not looking directly at the person they were talking to helped them focus on what was being said. “I’ve always struggled a bit with sleeping, I suppose, but it has been getting worse. The day before yesterday I couldn’t sleep because I had an exam and… I don’t know what happened. Every time I was close to falling asleep, I’d remember the exam and my heart would pick up pace, and I’d be wide awake again. It was awful. I shared that with Hilda, and she told me that back when she lived in the wilderness, whenever she couldn’t sleep she’d get up to look at the stars. And when I couldn’t sleep today either, I thought ‘well, I’m already screwed. I might as well try.’”

Both of them looked up, even though they knew there wasn’t much to see. At least Orion’s belt was easy to spot, the three aligned stars shining down at them. 

As the adult there, the librarian knew she should tell Frida that she shouldn’t be walking around town alone in the middle of the night. As Kaisa, she knew that wouldn’t be what she would say.

“You said it’s been getting worse.” Silently hoping that Frida would tell her if she stepped over a line, Kaisa continued to look at the sky above. “Is it all because of academic anxiety?”

For someone who had almost refused to speak during the first few minutes of that interaction, Frida’s answer came surprisingly quick. “Mostly, but there are also other things. I’m afraid of disappointing my parents. I get nervous just thinking about what their reaction will be once I inevitably have to tell them I’m a witch. And thinking about the future, and what I will make of mine. I’m afraid of not being perfect. I… I’m afraid of not being a good friend, and of ending up alone.”

The girl sighed deeply, sounding like she was taking off of herself a load heavier than the whole world.

“God, I’m afraid of so many things and it’s literally killing me at this point. I feel what you said about feeling half dead. Most people would be perfectly fine with the amount of sleep I get, but I just feel like there’s some sort of haze over my mind that stops me from actually experiencing emotions the next day. LIke I need the full eight hours to unlock the ability to feel happiness, you know?”

Kaisa did know, but she felt like the matter at hand was a bit too serious to make it about her. And she hadn’t forgotten that she was the adult, after all.

“Frida… I’m so sorry to hear that.” The girl shrugged half heartedly, which only made things worse. Having been taught that her feelings were no big deal was never a good sign. “What you’re going through is awful, especially at such a young age.”

Frida only took in the words for a second, afraid that she had overshared but trying not to let it show.

“Please don’t feel like you need to do well with the same sleeping patterns that other people have. I mean, I know I feel like I have to, but I also know it’s wrong. We’re all built a little differently from one another and that’s okay, right?”

She gave an imperceptible nod, and Kaisa continued.

“I hope I’m not being invasive here, but… have you asked your parents about the possibility of starting therapy? It sounds like you’d benefit a lot from it.”

Rather than sounding offended, which Kaisa was grateful for, Frida sighed dejectedly.

“I tried. They say I’m too young, and that it’s all in my head.”

Of course it’s in her head, you morons. Kaisa thought to herself. That’s the fucking point.

“They think this is just because of the influence of kids at my school as well. They say people nowadays want an easy way out of everything and misuse therapy as a way to argue that they need special treatment. I’m-” Another suffering sigh. “I’m not sure that I even understand what they were trying to say, but I thought it better not to argue. Have you ever been to therapy?”

With Kaisa’s head half filled with indignant thoughts at the situation, and half hurting because she needed to sleep so badly, it took her brain a second to process that she’d been asked a question.

“Oh, yes.” She said at last, after noticing that Frida was looking at her expectantly. “I was a little older than you, but I should have begun earlier. I hate to tell you this, but-” She stopped to let out a chuckle. “I think we’re very similar. I was so stressed about being perfect all the time. Still am, to be honest; it’s entirely my fault that I stopped seeing my psychologist. The point is, when I was a teen and began to realise that the traditional path of witchcraft wasn’t for me, and that I liked the idea of being keeper of books a lot better, I was so anxious all the time. On one hand, I’d disappoint Tildy. On the other, I’d spend my life miserable because I was doing something I wasn’t passionate about. It felt like a lose-lose situation.”

“I ignored it for as long as I could, until I also couldn’t sleep at night, and then it began really affecting me. Tildy noticed, and offered to book me an appointment without me even telling her what I was anxious about. Now I know I needn’t have worried about her reaction at all, but no use crying about the past. The point is that at the time, therapy helped me a lot. I’d probably be in the Committee or something if it weren’t for it right now.”

“Yikes.” Sounding a bit more alive for the first time that night, Frida smiled at her. “I need a therapist right about now, if that’s the case.”

Leaning to her left to nudge Frida with her shoulder, Kaisa poked her tongue out. “Awful, I know. The fun thing is, Tildy didn’t even want me to be powerful or whatever, she just wanted me to be happy, and I assumed it wasn’t the case because I was so afraid of disappointing that I didn’t stop to consider that maybe disappointing her wasn’t even on the table.”

“We’re lucky to have her.” Frida agreed. It had been almost a year now, and she’d never once felt pressured by her mentor like she did by her parents. Unfortunately, that only meant she wanted to please her even more. “But don’t say that. The part about being sorry to tell me we’re similar. I’m very flattered, honestly. I think I’d like to be like you.”

Close as they were now, the girl could very clearly see the question mark stamped on Kaisa’s forehead. She would have laughed, if it wasn’t sort of sad. After blinking a couple of times and apparently coming back to herself, the librarian gave her a lopsided smile.

“Even if I were in the Committee?”

“Oh, no way. There’s a limit to my love.”

Kaisa snorted and brought her gaze back to the sky. Sounded like the kid was becoming a lot like their teacher already. Good for her. 

They stared at the infinite darkness above them, interrupted by the tiny specks of light. So many people were scared of the dark, literal and metaphorical, and Kaisa could see why. But she often wondered if that wasn’t where such a great part of their problems lied. They surrounded themselves with light at all times, afraid of what they would have to face once they couldn’t see what was around, and so they forgot all that the dark had to give. Their minds were forced to work at all times, pushed to the limits of productivity, always avoiding the rest that came when the lights were out, and the reflection that inevitably followed it. They were constantly hampered by brilliance, compelled to do more, faster, better, and so when the dark came, it felt like it brought along all the demons they felt like they could hide by daylight. But when people avoided the dark, they avoided serenity. They avoided doubt, and the wisdom it brought. They avoided rest. They avoided the stars that could only shine when everything else was pitch black around them.

How much better wouldn’t they be, Kaisa wondered, if they all made more of an effort to learn to walk in their own darkness rather than shut it all out and chase it away with blinding lights?

“Do you see that?” She asked, pointing to the brightest star in the sky. “That’s Venus.”

“The actual planet?” Frida gasped softly, and she nodded.

“Exactly. And that smaller one, right there? That’s Mars.”

“No way.” Her voice was filled with wonder, and something softened in Kaisa’s ribcage upon hearing her sound like a child again. “How can you tell? Don’t they move during the year?”

“Well, they do. But if you look carefully, Mars is kind of red, see?”

After a bit of squinting, Frida agreed with her. Astrology hadn’t been something Kaisa had been too interested in when she was younger, preferring other magical arts that felt like they had more to offer her. She had grown a lot since she was Frida’s age, however, and learned how witchcraft was never meant to be about controlling things, but simply about seeking them. She’d learned that just because it didn’t look like something had a lot to offer, that it wasn’t precious. And she’d spent enough time with the night sky at that point in her life that the stars felt like old friends. It was good to see that Frida already seemed to know all that even if she was young; maybe, when she began studying star maps and planetary correlations, Kaisa could ask Tildy to be the one to give her some of those lessons.

“What’s your star sign?” She asked, and then huffed when Frida answered ‘Libra’. “Damn. I had one shot. Anyway, just asked because Taurus is right over there too.”

Frida leaned closer to her in order to take a better look at where she was pointing at; the stars’ shine was weak, and only because of a lot of practice was Kaisa able to see the constellation at all. Even squinting, Frida had a hard time seeing it (and that was definitely not a bull, if you asked her), but was happy to be shown it either way. David was a Taurus, she revealed as she almost leaned across Kaisa’s chest, and Hilda was a pisces. She’d attempted to do their birth charts, but hadn’t been entirely successful since she hadn’t properly studied the subject yet, and since she was pretty sure Hilda had just made up a birth time instead of going to ask her mother about it.

There they remained, with Kaisa pointing out as many constellations as she could (not many, unfortunately) and telling the stories behind them. After a couple of minutes, however, they both began to yawn with even more frequency than before, reminding them that they probably shouldn’t spend their entire night out at the park. It wasn’t a realisation that Frida wanted to come to. Those moments had been the most peaceful she’d had in a while, and she didn’t want to leave them behind, and Kaisa noticed it. Though the girl’s eyelids were heavy and her body was almost limp as it leaned against her, she made no move to go back home.

“At what time do you parents wake up?” 

Frida blinked up at her, her mind too hazy to understand the point of that question.

“My mother is on a 24 hour shift at the hospital, and my dad leaves for his office before I have to wake up for school, so I'm not really sure. Why?”

It was not a good idea. In fact, if it went awry, it could probably get her sued, or even locked up. But one look at Frida’s open vulnerability told her she didn’t have the strength to leave her here or to take her anywhere she didn’t want to go.

“Well, what do you say about a little witches night in?”

                                                                             .........

Kaisa lived in a small one bedroom apartment close to the library; she’d never needed anything else. Her building was ancient, and only four stories high. The plumbing often had to be fixed, and the walls and floors creaked weirdly, but she felt like it was part of the charm. It wasn’t the first time she received Frida there, but it was the first instance the child was there at night. 

For as long as she could remember, Frida had had issues being completely in the dark. Her room had always been lit by a night light, until the day she began feeling embarrassed about needing it, and had put it away even if she still didn’t feel entirely comfortable about it. Eventually, she’d grown exposed enough to it that she managed to sleep regardless, but there was still an uneasy sensation just under her skin whenever she stepped into the darkness.

The gloom in Kaisa’s home didn’t feel so intimidating, though. As soon as she opened the door, the witch breathed an incantation and several candles lit up at the same time. There were two in the living room, and a soft glow from the kitchen indicated the presence of another one. Frida smiled up at her, even though she wasn’t looking back; ever since they had met each other (and Frida didn’t consider that they had before that day with the void. Kaisa had just been a nameless spectrum in her life before then) the woman had grown much more comfortable with her magic. It had been a very connecting experience, she had found, to find her magic at the same time that Kaisa had been making amends with hers, and Frida was proud of where they had gotten. She was sure Tildy would be even more so, if she was there.

Maybe they could do a witches night in with Tildy, one day. That would be delightfully chaotic.

“Is this okay?” Kaisa asked as she closed the door behind her guest. “I try not to use lamps at all. I feel like candlelight makes me feel more peaceful overall. I generally sleep better when I avoid blue light, but I get that it takes a while to get used to it. I can turn on the lights if you’d prefer.”

The flicker of the fire made shadows dance all over the apartment. It was a place that would have scared her before she started studying magic: full of symbols and jars and books that could be older than the building itself. Now, they were comforting like a well known lullaby. 

“It’s perfect, don’t worry about me.”

“Alright. But do tell me if I can do anything to make you more comfortable.”

After she got a nod from her, Kaisa led the way. The air smelled like coffee and rosemary, and briefly like roses when she walked by a bouquet of such flowers, carefully placed on a vase and with a small note still attached to it. The dim lighting prevented her from seeing what was written on it, or even if the roses looked fresh or a couple of days old, but Frida smiled at them nonetheless, before being guided inside Kaisa’s bedroom.

The bedroom was more well lit than the living room and the corridor had been, because of a large triangular window covering the wall opposite to the door, which was the one facing the street. One candle burned on the bedside table, its golden light clashing with the cold one from the streetlights. There were curtains just waiting to be pulled over the window, though, so it wouldn’t be the case for much longer.

“Would you like to sleep with me, or would you rather I sleep on the sofa?”

Frida whipped her head to face Kaisa so fast that she wondered if she’d said something wrong. Frowning, the girl began to shake her head.

“No, you sleep here. I’m just the guest, I won’t take your bed!”

“Frida.” She tried to keep her voice as calm and compassionate as possible. “I wouldn’t have given you the options if I didn’t want to go through with either of them. It’s okay. You can pick whatever you’d feel best with, I promise.”

The thoughts swirled on Frida’s mind as she considered. She didn't want to take the bed for herself. Truth be told, what she really would appreciate was the reassurance of someone by her side, but the thought of asking for it made her blush. Her parents had taught her early on that self reliance was a crucial trait to develop, sending her away from their room most times after they’d calmed her down from a nightmare. They wouldn’t always be there, and she was growing into a young woman already, they’d explain. But the weak light fluttering on Kaisa’s tired face revealed honest eyes, and really, she’d come this far. There wasn’t even enough energy to stress much about it any longer.

“Can we both stay here? I wouldn’t bother you, right?”

With a thankful smile, Kaisa touched her shoulder. “You’re never a bother, kid. You should know that by now.”

They began getting ready to lie down, which didn’t take too much effort since they both had already been under the covers before realising that sleep had been eluding them and walking away. Putting their shoes by the door, Kaisa asked her if she’d brushed her teeth and washed her face already, getting a very pointed ‘I’m not a child’ look in return. Which, if you asked the librarian, had been uncalled for. She was quite literally a child and it would do her well to remember that every now and then.

After having removed her sweater, revealing a plain beige pajama shirt, she folded it as neatly as she could in the dark, placing it on Kaisa’s desk as the woman closed the curtains, her jacket gone.

“You know, I think I’m going to brew myself some chamomile tea before lying down” She stated after flooding the room with darkness, the one candle now being the only spot of light around them. Frida blinked a couple of times, her eyes rushing to adapt to the new level of gloom. “Would you like a cup?”

Not being able to see what was around her raised Frida’s hairs on the back of her neck and on her arms. Taking deep breaths didn’t help her calm down, but at least gave her something to focus on other than her discomfort.

“Are you sure you don’t want to turn on the lights?”

“Yeah, I am.” She rushed to assure, hoping Kaisa wouldn’t be able to see through her but knowing it was probably futile to do so, since somehow she’d managed to see Frida’s rigid stance even before their irises had adjusted. Maybe after some time only using candles every night she’d developed some sort of cat vision. It sounded like just the kind of thing that would happen to her. “And I would like a cup. Please.”

Frida couldn’t see her squinting, but she could <em>feel</em> it.

“Okay, then. Feel free to tuck yourself into bed, I’ll be back in a bit.”

With the confidence of someone who had traced that exact path so many times before that she didn’t need her vision to repeat it, Kaisa walked out of the room to head to the kitchen, which made Frida feel instantly worse. Being in the dark was uncomfortable, but being in it alone was almost upsetting. 

It would have been easier if it had been some years ago, when she only believed in logic. Before she’d been taught that there were creatures you couldn’t see everywhere. Before she’d been taught about everything in the world she could not control.

I’m a witch, she mentally chastened herself. Kind of silly to be afraid of the dark.

She fixed her stare on the candle, the one source of light around her. The wax was pink and unadorned, much different from the candles they used for rituals and spells. The flame flickered merrily, and her eyes stayed glued to it as she put one foot behind the other, slowly stepping back until the backs of her knees hit the mattress. When that happened, she sat down, feeling that the bed was comfortably firm. She placed her hands behind her back, feeling her right one touch a furry duvet, which was folded by the foot of the bed, and then used them to pull her body completely on top of the bed. As she attempted to scoot further back, her left fingertips touched what felt like fuzzy pillows near the regular ones, and she kept crawling backwards until her back hit the wall.

By then, her eyes had already adapted, and looking directly at the flame was beginning to hurt. She looked away, blinking as she continued to see the fire even though her eyes were no longer on it for a couple of moments, and then allowed herself to reacquaint herself with the room under its new shading.

It wasn’t a very big bedroom, which was comforting. In front of the bed, there was a wardrobe, and on the wall between them a couple of framed pictures. On top of the desk, there were shelves with trinkets that Frida assumed were close to Kaisa’s heart, along with those which were likely her favourite books, since there were many bookcases scattered across the apartment. Looking down, she saw now that the fuzzy pillows were actually plushies, and she picked the one closest to her reverently.

It was a fox, cartoonishly cute with black beads for its eyes and a furry tail. And Frida couldn’t help but notice, it looked new. Which meant that Kaisa, local mysterious and broody magical librarian and all around badass had at some point in the recent past walked into a toy store, seen a fox that she liked and decided ‘that’s it, I’m taking it home’.

Not that it was something hard to fathom, considering what she knew about her mentor’s first student. But it clashed with what she’d grown to believe. Her parents had never really cared if she kept on sleeping with her plushies, even if they didn’t encourage it. But sitting there, in the dark and in the silence, she couldn’t help but remember the Marra. Kelly had come into her life and told her everything she liked was useless and childish, and her toys hadn’t been an exception. Constantly, Frida avoided thinking about how she’d laughed upon seeing them on her bed, and teased her for it. ’You’re still such a baby, Frida’, she’d said, I can’t believe I’m hanging out with you.’

She’d donated them all that same day.

She’d long since realised that Kelly was, simply put, a jerk. But it hadn’t stopped her from internalising many of the things she’d said, and the conscious effort Frida had to do to pick apart the threads the marra had sewn into the embroidery of her conscience was a painful one she often chose to ignore. And yet, here was tangible proof of how wrong she had been. One of the people Frida admired the most, who was powerful both magically and emotionally, and carried herself in a way she hoped to achieve some day, had her bed filled with plushies.

The fox was just the beginning. There was also an owl, which looked like the oldest of the bunch, and a mushroom whose texture released a mol of serotonin inside Frida’s synapses. A tiny opossum was tucked between the pillows, and she had just picked up a white woff when Kaisa came back.

“Ah, I see you’ve found my friends!” There was excitement in her voice, even if it was low. “Feel free to choose some to hug while you sleep, I strongly recommend it.”

Frida offered her a genuine smile when she was handed a steaming cup. The herbal scent warmed up her lungs, and they drank in silence while the tea soothed them. There was something so companionable about sitting quietly with someone in that dark that Frida could scarcely believe she’d been afraid of it just a few minutes prior.

“Thank you.” She said when she had drunk her last sip and handed the cup to Kaisa, who put it on the desk to be returned to the kitchen in the morning. “For everything. You’ve been great to me tonight and I don’t know if I can ever return it.”

Kaisa sighed, wondering if that was how she’d sounded like to Tildy when she was younger. If the answer was yes, at least she knew it was a matter of treating her the way she’d wished to be treated when she was Frida’s age. The way Frida deserved to be treated.

She decided to let it slide for now. The girl would have to face exactly why she thought she owed everyone something all the time, and why the thought of being truly cared for was so inconceivable to her. But not that night; she was tired and far from home already, so Kaisa wouldn’t be the one to remind her of demons only she could fight.

“You can return it by pulling the blanket so we can get under. See, now we’re even.”

Frida kept her place on the side of the bed that was closest to the wall, feeling comforted by having it on one side, and Kaisa on another. The blanket was weighted, which added another layer of ease that made her muscles release any remaining tension. Tentatively, she reached for the owl plushie and hugged it close to her chest. It smelled like Kaisa, like flowers and herbs and old parchment. Then, Kaisa herself tucked herself by her side, the human warmth of her making Frida scoot closer.

“Everything alright?”

Frida nodded.

“Okay, then. Feel free to wake me up anytime you need.”

Without bothering about setting an alarm for the next day, they closed their eyes and, as if by a miracle, fell into a peaceful sleep after few minutes of waiting for it.

The next morning, they would wake up in weird positions, and laugh about it. They’d try to cook pancakes together for a late breakfast, and make a mess in the kitchen. Kaisa would walk Frida to school before going to the library, both of them arriving late but not caring. They’d go through their days as if nothing had happened, but everyone around them would be able to tell a weight had been lifted from them. They’d study, work, read and socialise having the benefit of knowing that rest awaited them in the dark.

[stupid-elf]

Okay, good point, my bad. I got overexcited by cute bat content on my feed. Yet more evidence I shouldn't be allowed to blog after midnight.

My bat hyperfixation ended almost a decade ago, and literature has come a long way, while my recollection has gone the opposite direction.

That being said, some points of order. Bats are the most common source in the US, but not worldwide. Dogs hold that title. Only three cases have been recorded since 1990, stemming from either primary species of brown bat. Also, there have been no bat-related fatalities when PCP shots were administered in time. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3754046/ https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2022/p0106-human-rabies.html https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2732483/#R4 (I'm on mobile, sorry for poor formatting).

So you're right, I shouldn't have said bats don't carry rabies. They do carry rabies, it's just very rare (less than 1 in 200 are infected, and the actual number is likely lower because of sampling bias) and they don't live long with it. Per the article you linked as source two, the bat died seven days after entering the symptomatic/transmissive phase of infection. (I wish I had an original study to link with better/more statistically significant numbers. Not to say more/better studies don't exist. Again, I'm on mobile)

Which is not to disagree with you about being cautious around wild bats; I tried to put in a mention of that in the original thing ("remember to treat them like wild animals") but in retrospect I definitely spoke too enthusiastically. It came across more as a side note and less as a genuine warning.

Treat bats you encounter in the wild like a raccoon. Raccoons are actually more likely to be a threat to your health, but bats are easier to underestimate because they're small and cute.

A relevant quote:

"A common misconception is that bats "carry" rabies. [...] When a bat contracts rabies, it dies. In addition, bats contract the passive form of rabies. When a bat begins to show clinical signs of the disease, it becomes lethargic, loses its appetite, and often ends up grounded because it can no longer fly or feed. Another misconception often presented in the media is the notion that bats "attack" people. Bats are by nature gentle animals. [...] People get into trouble with bats when they attempt to pick them up. Any wild animal is going to act defensively when someone attempts to pick it up." https://idfg.idaho.gov/press/bats-and-rabies-just-facts

All of which to say... Yeah, you're right, but I felt the need to swing the needle back towards "bats are friends" after you (again, rightly) said "but rabies is serious."

Bat sanctuaries, which might let you hold and cuddle with bats: good. (I highly recommend visiting! And donating! Bat conservation is in dire need of help. We are losing furry friends to white nose syndrome and habitat loss, but you can help!)

Trying to cuddle the bat you found in the shed: BAD. Treat wild animals like wild animals.

I'm going to go delete the other post now, because your factual correction is very important here. Thanks, and always fun to encounter a science illustrator in the wild :)

obsessed with this sign i saw taped up outside the bat room at the zoo yesterday. the enthusiasm, the hand-written note, the bat drawing.

[chococookiez]

nightly ptv posting in random places until i see them live (123 days left!!) - not in the greatest place rn as this cold covid continues to fuck with me both physically and mentally so im gonna get really sappy and talk about how significant each album is to me cause i could write a whole essay on this. under cut cause this is gonna be long

collide with the sky was the album that got me into this band. one of my irl friends was reposting tiktoks about them, i heard the hell above transition and instantly ran to them for recommendations cause i was HOOKED. that night i think i listened to them for around 3 and a half hours straight, i think i went through the entirety of collide, selfish machines and afftd (im not sure if i finished afftd or if i looked at misadventures yet) and the only thing that stopped me from continuing the binge was a massive headache that came over me. hold on till may inspired two of my ocs as i imagined them taking the roles of both people in the song, their personalities and how that'd fit into an existing universe we (me and my friends) had. they're still the two ocs i think about the most since i connect them with ptv very often and - yknow, hyperfixation. fun fact: i timed the "im sorry but ive made up my mind" in bulls in the bronx to happen when it hit midnight on my birthday. no clue why, just thought it was cool ig

the jaws of life was the first album i owned physically, accidentally managing to acquire both the cd and the vinyl on my birthday (cd was spotted in hmv, vinyl was my grandma's gift. there's a certain cashier at that hmv that i think happened to be working that day who shares my music taste, they recommended my dad listen to them since he said he got the cd for me lmaoo) the songs on that album were the first ones my parents heard, as my dad's car has a cd player so i popped it in on the way back home. much later on due to some shenanigans involving a shitbox car thats best music source was cds and oh look ptv is the one band my mum didn't mind listening to and i had 2 of their cds (i'll talk about that later), it ended up becoming her favourite album of theirs so we'd very often listen to it on journeys even when she got her car back as it was one of the few things we shared taste wise after i took a dive bomb into rock/metal, so while its my least favourite in terms of songs as im writing this (i don't dislike them!! some of my faves are on there!!), im incredibly sentimental towards it regardless.

misadventures was the second album i owned physically, finding the cd buried in a local record shop (it has the acoustic bonuses on it!!), and i think i can sorta call it my favourite album of all time. almost every single song in that album has been put on loop at least once (i mean that very literally. every single one. except sambuka? idk, just wasn't in my head as much...) it was also involved in the shitbox car shenanigans which might have influenced my love for it too. the divine zero in particular had (and still has tbh) a strong chokehold on me, being a little too relatable for me as i was going through a very dark patch in life that im not sure is entirely over yet actually, though it at least feels like it might be. i still can't listen to that song only one time whenever it comes on, i have to replay it at least once. it was my top song on spotify and i barely even fucking use spotify. can you tell im normal about the divine zero?

tl;dr - ptv are cool. im normal about them. thumbs up emoji.

a flair for the dramatic and selfish machines, while not having a big long story behind them, have been incredibly important to me during The Cold Covid as their songs are the main ones im obsessed with currently. some noteworthy songs off them are she sings in the morning/yeah boy and doll face (ok this one's kinda silly: i found out people found the first song through osu which i hadn't played in ages and these two was some of the first plays i got in a very long time so i currently hold them very close. fun fact: i like rhythm games!), wonderless/chemical kids and mechanical brides (INCREDIBLY calming to me, go tos when i need to lower my energy levels), million dollar houses (very closely connected to one of the two hold on till may connected ocs) and fast times at clairemont high (ok it's just a banger to me. the high notes make me fucking feral and i listened to the song 10 times in a row once. oops)

[marblerose-rue]

FACE DOWN ON THE FLOOR this is me easing back into drawing im hoping to finish a request or 2 tomorrow it just depends on how the day goes . ANYWAY here r some ocs u_u

[soursvgar]

Happy new years eve! Could you perhaps write something small about celebrating new years w the bros for the first time? What would they like to do on occasion? Eat fondue? Try making resolutions? Stay up to watch the first sunrise?

Maybe they don't even celebrate it because its kinda meaningless when your lifespan is so long lol

New Year's Eve with the brothers ♡

A/N: Hi anon, thank you for this prompt! This is really tiny, but i wanted to post it today to make it relevant so i hope you still like it!! ;v; ( i also just realized you said new year but i made it more new year's eve themed so i hope that's okay >< ) happy new year everyone!

Demon brothers x gender neutral mc

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ෆ Lucifer will get drunk and make a heartfelt confession.

"Maybe you should hold back on the demonus a bit-" You try to release the bottle from Lucifer's grip, but the latter was squeezing it a bit too tight for you to peel it off his fingers. You knew he was stressed, but didn't realize he was that stressed to finish an entire bottle of the intoxicating drink. Diavolo decided to throw a new year's eve party for you, and you recently found out he had put Lucifer in charge of organizing it. With his plate already full, you couldn't help feeling apologetic, despite you not being directly involved.

"Lucifer, I'm really sorry. If I knew of the party beforehand, I would've helped you with it." You decide to sit by him, hoping the light stroking of his arm will help convey your feelings. However, Lucifer only grins as he gazes at you, eyes shining with adoration. "Nonsense, you have nothing to be sorry for. I would do that all over again, for you." He puts down the bottle, now taking your hands in his. "You're the best thing that happened to me, to us. You've made this year worth more than all of my years in this realm combined, and I hope you'll stay by my side to make my next year just as happy."

ෆ Mammon will kiss you at the countdown.

"Ten, nine, ei-" Your counting is paused by a pair of lips pressing against yours, and doesn't resume for what seems to be longer than ten seconds. "Happy new year." Mammon smiles as he pulls away from you. "You know you're supposed to kiss me after the countdown, right?" You snicker, though, you have no complaints regarding his actions.

"I know, but I heard humans believe that if ya kiss your loved one at midnight, you'll be together for the rest of the year, so I was thinking- if I kiss ya before, during, and after, you would love me forever! Pretty smart, ain't it?"

ෆ Leviathan will create a vision board with you.

You had been intending to assemble a vision board for the new year for a while, but it slipped your mind with your busy schedule, only to return on the last day of the year. You came to Levi for help, partly because you knew you wouldn't be able to finish it in time alone, but mostly because you wanted to spend the night with him doing something fun together, and wasn't sure how to bring it up. The two of you were almost done carefully placing the pieces on the board when Levi lets out a sudden gasp.

"Wait, we forgot the most important part of the vision board!" Levi rummages through the scattered papers, pulling a picture of the two of you from the pile of photographs on the floor before he glues it right in the middle. "You have to have this on as well, so we can experience all those great moments next year together."

ෆ Satan will learn about different traditions for you.

"What color is the underwear you are wearing?" Satan asks, completely unaware of how his question comes off, at least until he catches a glimpse of your reddened cheeks. "O-Oh, I mean, I just read that some cultures in the human world believe that wearing different colors of underwear on new year's eve will bless you with luck in different aspects of life." He pauses to make sure you follow. "And... well, I wanted to see if you're wearing red- wait, I didn't mean see-" You chuckle as he clears his throat, his face is now the one turning pink. "Anyway, not like you need any more luck in that department when you have me."

ෆ Asmodeus will take you out to see fireworks.

"Where are we going? I told you I'm not joining one of your parties." You had already changed to a comfortable attire, planning to spend the last day of the year relaxing at home, but Asmo has other plans, insisting for you to come outside with him. "Pretty please? With a cherry on top? I promise you won't regret it!" He whines, grabbing the sleeve of your sweatshirt and pretending to be pulling you off the bed.

At last, you surrender, following Asmo to an open meadow with a remarkable view of the city. "Happy new year!" He beams when the clock strikes twelve; colorful lights illuminate the night skies as the sounds of explosions echo through them. "There are fireworks in the devildom?" You query. Captivated by the enthralling sight, you barely detect Asmo's arm wrapping around your shoulder to bring you closer. "There are now, for you, love."

ෆ Beelzebub will have a feast with all kinds of traditional food.

"Here, here! Try this!" Beel chimes, happily holding the chopsticks to your mouth. "Beel, I really can't eat anymore- I think you'll have to finish the rest on your own." You sigh. Truth is, you've been full after the seventh dish he had you sampling, but his enthusiasm was just too adorable to not cooperate with. "But these soba noodles are amazing, and you haven't even tried the lentils- it would bring you good fortune! Although, maybe you should hide that from Mammon." Beel shrugs as he continues stuffing his face.

"You know you could've just asked what food I eat during this time in the human world, right? You didn't have to cater food from every single country on earth." You laugh, finally stepping down from the tasting fest as you officially call quits.

"Hm? But where's the fun in that?"

ෆ Belphegor will fall asleep before the clock strikes twelve.

Belphegor really did try his best to fight the fatigue for a couple long hours while the two of you celebrated, but at the end, he succumbs to fatigue as his head falls perfectly on your shoulder- right before it hits midnight.

"Happy new y- oh, why are you looking at me like that?" Puzzled, Belphegor yawns, eyes glancing over to the clock after confronting your glare. "I missed it huh... I'm really sorry." He grins sheepishly, leaning in to place a peck to your pouting lips. "Well, are you still mad or can I get my new year's kiss now?"

[confusedgeckotree]

Just. Adding onto this thread with my 2 cents here but

I think about Dr Carmilla a LOT and I have consumed so much media abt her its. It's something

But we see from her albums she released later(and Homesick) that by my interpretation Carmilla like... has no concept of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like prior to making the Mechs. She had her family described in Homesick(which is, as a song, so vague and Poetic and confusing to me ahwhxuebche but there's like... implied transphobia from her dad who I'm like 99% sure she killed and its. Someone analyze these lyrics for me please I'm being very confused and neurodivergent about them I think. Back on Topic:), she had Rocket Girl, who left her, and she had Loreli, who. Well. Listen to Pin Cushion please, that did not go well.

So despite the fact that Carmilla here is absolutely going into making the mechs with good intentions and the genuine want to be a good parent and take in these kids, she's also going into this like... presumably not that long after Loreli. And that relationship was definitely very toxic, at least at the end, and probably had a lot of the issues we see later with how Carmilla goes on to treat her kids; Copious Amounts of Unethical Science tm, and I'm gonna say presumably boundaries not really being considered/existing? So like, not only am I gonna say the Mechs were probably not great with communication in general but also with Carmilla, the last concept of love she had was Loreli. And just. Here's some lyrics from Pin Cushion about that whole situation;

"Since you died and came back to life You've been nothing but bloodshed and hurt Before you were dead you were like sunshine, instead (except for that part where it burns)"

It Did Not Go Well. So by my headcanon/interpretation, is Dr. Carmilla in the right? Hell no! Is she a hurt person who hurt people? 100%!

I also believe it was mentioned that like, mechanization inherently twists and corrupts those it's done to. I forget where, so correct me if I'm wrong on that one, though(p s i think it was in relation to One Eyed Jacks, and the line about 'i was tols i had a good heart, bur the doc took care of that after the whole particide rhing' line??). Which brings me back to thinking about this one post I saw about how tragic it is that Carmilla actively avoided turning the mechs into vampires(so they'd not be reliant on bloodshed for their very survival), and yet in a way they became that anyways. Tragic tired goth mom lesbian vampire space pirate

Also this is super rambly and it's almost midnight and I've not slept remotely enough in a week so sorry if anything is nonsensical! Im tired. I'm going to go pass out now

Edit: this is Way Longer than I thought when I first finished typing whoops enjoy have fun im.sorry(I'm really not)

Edit 2: becauss I realize I got distracted halfway through the last paragraph: i also think it's important to know that a lot abt Carmilla is her trying to be better, morally speaking, as a person, especially i imagine later on closer to when she leaves(noticing especially that Jonny and Nastya(the 1st two chronologically) seem to have the worsr reactions to/interactions with her in live shows iirc?? Whereas the others seem a little more chill(not to say they like her more but. Idk. Food for thoughts mayhaps)). The mechs are definitely NOT trying to be better people, they don't want to be good people, they just want fun, violence, adventure, violence, and violence, so I have no doubt that contributed to them not seeing eye to eye. Now I am going to sleep actually thus time durdbudhcotmc. .mtc

Fandoms love flip flopping, where once the main interpretation was of an abusive Carmilla, now commenting on her characters flaws gets you called out for slander (politely called out, no hate to that individual I respect u greatly <3)

ANYWAY. My Opinion on Carmilla. She is Morally better than the mechanisms, and her intentions were good, however the relationship between her and her immoral children WAS ABUSIVE. In both directions.

I shall look at all Cannon Interactions between Carmilla and the mechs:

-Carmilla specifically never starved them for THAT long

-Carmilla installed a morality switch into brian. (the mechs claim it was for cruel entertainment purposes, I do not believe them)

-Carmilla did not bioprograme the mechs

-The Mechs airlocked Carmilla "Lots"

-Carmilla didn't leave through the airlock the last time

-The Mechanisms are described as "on the run" from carm

-"it always ends like this" refering to Jonny panicking as Carmilla drugs him in homestuck

Its common for the mechs to be violent towards each other, but that seems more like banter to me. With Carmilla its different because thats a parental figure grasping for control over her children she loves, inflicting violence to keep them in line. The Mechanisms Inflict it back, airlocking her and trying to get away from her because they see her as impeding on their freedom.

The Mechs assume Carmilla made the morality switch for entertainment because their own motivations for doing anything are for entertainment. I think they see carmillas modivations as Trying to control them, hold power over them, when her actual motivations were to stop them from hurting people.

The Relationship between Carm and the Mechs was an unhealthy power struggle between individuals who love eachother but were ultimately too at odds with eachother's morals to ever work out a healthy situation. In the end Carmilla realized it was for the best if they parted ways.