#posting because I just made a can of dollar store chicken noodle soup

[doctorstarlock]

I don't think we pay enough attention to cumin. It may not be as versatile as garlic and onion, but what it can do it does so well!! You make a savory dish that lacks depth of flavor? It probably needs some cumin babe!!

[publiccollectors]

QUARANZINE #14

QUARANZINE #14: Rachel Herman. Rachel was diagnosed as a presumptive positive for COVID-19 after a test for Influenza A and B turned up negative. She's been fighting the virus for just over two weeks. Yesterday she posted this long message on Facebook about her experience so far and I asked her about publishing it in QUARANZINE. She had been thinking about reaching out to me, so we were both on the same page. The text is very long for the format I adhere to so the type is quite small, unfortunately. Here it is in its entirety: Dear friends,

This is the week many of us will get sick. Social distancing is working, but most cities waited too long to declare shelter-in-place orders and many others have yet to. So, we will see spikes in confirmed cases within the next week or so. I want you all to be armed with pragmatic and useful information if this happens to you or someone you care about.

I am on Day 14 of what was diagnosed as a presumptive positive for COVID-19 after a test for Influenza A and B turned up negative. (I am still waiting for my COVID-19 results.) I’ve had a relatively mild case, and I’m on the mend. My congestion is clearing up, I can breathe deeply again, and going up and down the stairs doesn’t make me winded. My energy and appetite are coming back though I still have had a fever of 100+ for 14 straight days. Most of us will get a mild case. 40-70% of us will get it, but so much of the media frenzy right now is focused on things that were important last week and yesterday (every day feels a year these days, though, to be fair). I have seen shockingly few articles or helpful testimonials advising how best to treat ourselves at home, and, trust me, I’ve been looking. So much of the information we’re focused on now is preventing transmission, but there is woefully little on what to do IF and WHEN we get sick.

Being waylaid during the time that so many folks have been still frantically trying to avoid getting sick has offered me a strange bubble of calm and insight. I’m grateful for that because the fear out there is palpable. I would like for this to be an offering to assuage at least some panic. That is my hope anyway.

The CDC and the WHO have labored and lengthy instructions on how to prevent transmission to someone else in the household or orders to quarantine. This creates a new problem for us as caregivers. A potentially critically ill person separated from everyone else drastically reduces a caregiver’s ability to monitor, replenish fluids, and generally take care of the person who is sick. On top of that, these two trusted sources offer only the most basic (honestly, negligible) recommendations for treating symptoms: sleep, keep hydrated, and take Tylenol (or the generic acetaminophen). This kind of bare bones advice is, well, skeletal. We all want to know how best to take care of ourselves and each other so that we can avoid having to go to the hospital. We want to be able to recuperate at home because we want to prevent putting a strain on the system and, face it, the idea of going to the hospital in this scenario is downright daunting. The better we know how to nurse ourselves back to health, the better our odds are healing well in our own beds.

So, I wanted to share what I’ve learned.

Caveat emptors/disclaimers because I’m making this public and shareable: This is based on my own personal, lived experience. I am not a doctor, so this does not replace or supplant solid medical advice from a professional you trust. I have had relatively mild symptoms but still a longish case. I am one of the freakish 5% who has had never-ending nasal congestion that went into my upper respiratory tract, but I somehow avoided the dreaded cough. YMMV (your mileage may vary). I have no underlying health concerns, I’m 52, a non-smoker, and fortunate. I have a comfortable apartment to myself, and I was able to spend $500 to stock up on essentials before the lockdown and before I got sick. (For the love of all that is holy, I swear I did not stockpile anything, especially TP. Stocking up is simply incredibly expensive. I dwindled my account down to almost my last dollar, since I’m adjunct faculty at two local universities and don’t make a whole lot.) Still, that is more than so many of us are able to do, and I am grateful for all that I have. What follows goes a bit beyond common sense, because this virus is unlike anything I’ve experienced before, even though to be clear, this is certainly a far cry from the sickest I’ve ever been. I hope it can be a boon to friends and strangers alike.

Here are the things I did that helped:

WHILE YOU ARE WELL

1) Start taking your temperature in the morning and at night so that you have a baseline.

One of the first signs of the virus can be a low-grade fever, though this virus does present in different ways. Full disclosure: I was one of those people who had to go to 3 different drugstores on Wed Mar 11 looking for a thermometer amid decimated shelves.

2) Before you get sick, change your diet.

Stop eating and drinking things that will make it harder to fight off the virus. Mellow out on the processed foods, dairy, and sugar (alcohol and gluten are in this category too, sorry).

Increase your intake of immune-boosting foods like green vegetables, fish and other omega-threes, garlic, ginger, and citrus. You don’t have to give in to the whole elderberry craze (though it does taste pretty good). Replace coffee with chaga, a fungal immune booster that you can brew into a strong, soothing tea, for a few weeks.

If you think these dietary recommendations are extreme, consider that you are in a temporary but dire situation where everything else around us is collapsing. Change your eating habits this month, even if it’s just a little for a little while.

3) SLEEP at least 8 hours a night. (I know, I wake up at 4am in a blind panic too. But, still, try.)

4) Make a pot of soup NOW while you are healthy or at the first sign of any symptoms.

This is especially important if you are sheltering in place alone. When/if you get sick, trust me, you won’t have energy to cook. You will barely want to eat anything anyway. But you will force yourself to have two bowls of it every day, and it will help. The pot should be big enough so that you can eat from it for a week. Make your favorite broth-based recipe: chicken, vegetable, or bone. Bone is most healing, obviously. Avoid dairy and noodles because these ingredients increase congestion and inflammation. Freeze it if you don’t have any symptoms at this point, so you will be able to thaw it when you start to feel oogy.

WHEN YOU GET SICK

1) At the first sign of fatigue, a tickle in your throat, aches, or a fever, go to bed and stay there. SLEEP. Don’t try to keep working. Your body needs to heal, and it can do that most effectively when you are sleeping.

Early symptoms reportedly vary. Some have aches and fever, scratchy throat, and chest tightness with a dry cough. Headaches, sneezing + nasal congestion, shortness of breath, nausea, and diarrhea have all been reported. I woke up on Mar 14 with a headache, body aches, congestion, and a fever of 101. My fever spiked to 102.5 on Day 2, and I’ve had a fever of 100+ every day since along with body aches, nasal congestion (my nose opened up like an actual running faucet on day 5), chest tightness and upper respiratory congestion, exhaustion, lack of appetite, and some lower GI distress (though not full-on diarrhea, everything just felt labored and different and, sincere apologies for the vivid image I’m about to put in your head, my poop seemed to be covered in a gauzy cloud). The two aberrations from most commonly reported symptoms: I have only had a negligible cough, and I never had a sore throat. My baseline temp leading up to getting sick was 99, but I am usually a straight-up 98.6 kind of person.

I had a dinner party the Monday before I got sick, and a friend who helped me in the kitchen came down with the same thing at the same time. My friend has asthma and has had a much harder time of things. But we are both on the road to recovery, in large part because we have been sharing what we’ve learned, checking in with each other, and doing some intense jobs taking care of ourselves while in isolation. (No one else from the dinner party has gotten sick to date.)

2) DRINK WATER, every 15 minutes when you are awake. Every time you wake up or roll over, drink. It should be room temperature, not cold. Cold liquids exacerbate the illness.

3) Drink WARM liquids like herbal tea and broth. Hot liquids keep everything in your system moving. Make soothing, healing, and warming remedies out of whatever inexpensive supplies you already have available.

4) In the giant void of an antiviral treatment that works on COVID-19, I have turned/returned to plant medicine, and it has helped me a lot.

My cousin, who is taking a Chinese medicine course in Singapore right now, sent me directions on how to make a ginger and licorice root decoction that was used throughout China during the Hubei lockdown. It’s easy to make. You bake the licorice in molasses, and then you boil the licorice root and the ginger for an hour. The ginger licorice decoction has really helped my friend who also got sick at the same time I did.

Making tea from Chaga – an Alaskan mushroom – has been so incredibly helpful. I’ve made a large pot of it every day, reserving the chaga and re-steeping over and over again for the past two weeks. Was it the chaga or the fact that I was drinking a gallon of warm soothing liquid daily, ladling out a mugful every couple of hours, that helped me get better? I’ll go with a little of both.

Other natural antiviral immune boosters that might help include vitamin C, C60, and olive leaf extract, oregano oil, and Manuka honey. Since stores are closed and Amazon has stopped shipping, we have to make do with what we already have. Make a tea with citrus peels and cloves and sliced ginger, if that’s is in your fridge.

5) The word on the street is to manage fever with Tylenol or acetaminophen or paracetamol, which are supposed to be more suited to treating respiratory illness than other alternatives. Frankly, I have been taking acetaminophen as sparingly as possible to avoid putting strain on my other organs. Cool compresses work too.

Some people are saying NOT to take Advil and its generic ibuprofen, as they have anecdotally said to propel otherwise healthy people to hospitals for oxygen. There is a lot of noise and confusion in this debate, and I’m going to sidestep this thorny conversation for our purposes.

6) Zinc lozenges and elderberry syrup help with a scratchy throat and cough. A friend of mine prone to bronchitis recommended Myrtol, a German cough syrup made from natural ingredients, including elderberry. If you have a pharma protocol in place for managing a persistent, chronic cough, you are probably already on it.

7) The fatigue is real. It also becomes really hard to think clearly. That’s why it’s so important to have soup and tea and other supportive supplies ready ahead of time.8) When you think you are getting better the first three or four times, STAY IN BED.

The arc of this virus is really rollercoaster-y: up and down and up and down. After the initial alarm passes, (and it is alarming at first because you don’t know which way it’s going to go and that seizing up can make everything feel worse), I was able to focus on getting better, calmly. I made it through the first scary fever spikes, but right when I thought I was feeling better, I would get knocked down again. There were critical junctures around days 3, 5, and 7 where I was certain I’d turned a corner, and, well, yesterday.

I’d get up and do dishes, take out the trash, take my dog for a walk around the neighborhood (face covered), and try to get some work done (end of quarter grades were due at both my schools and my departments have been preparing like mad to take our classes online in the spring). Then I would feel hot and light-headed again, taking my temp only to see it had sprung back up to 101.5. You will feel better and want to get back up and do things only to get knocked right back down. The moment I ease up on drinking water and tea constantly, I start to feel horrible again.

Remember: YOU ARE ESSENTIALLY PREVENTING YOURSELF FROM DEVELOPING FULL-BLOWN VIRAL PNEUMONIA. I would say the new mantra needs to be SLEEP + DRINK WATER. Start now, to the extent that you can. Please resist the urge to get up and do things. Rest. Do your Zoom meetings from bed with a virtual office background, if you absolutely have to be on a call. But, truly, you shouldn’t because this is the time to sleep sleep sleep and binge watch The Good Place (my choice for existential dystopian laughs/insert whatever makes your socks go up and down). For the past few days, my temp has been normal in the morning only to spring back up to 100+ if I try to do too much (e.g. read: ANYTHING). When I let myself sleep, my temp goes back down.

9) A humidifier has helped. Some recommend running a hot shower and sitting in your own makeshift bathroom sauna. Steam eucalyptus or rosemary, if you have any, and inhale deeply. I just made a homemade vaporub with a base of coconut oil and a few drops each of clove, thyme, rosemary, and peppermint oil. It is wonderful.

10) My breathing never got dangerously shallow. But this virus can potentially fill your upper and lower respiratory tracts with mucous until you feel like you are drowning. A physical therapist wrote with life-saving advice about the importance of Postural Draining, a method of draining mucous from the lungs using gravity and percussion. It involves physically moving your body so that you tilt your lungs and bronchial tubes upside down and then firmly clap the back or chest. This allows the mucous to flow up out of the lungs along with deep, prolonged exhales. Then you can cough it the rest of the way out. You can do postural draining alone or have someone perform it on you. Google postural draining diagrams – there are different for positions for each of the five lobes of your lungs. Do these exercises for 3-5 minutes a day before you get too sick. You can get into position in a chair or laying over a yoga ball, bean bag, or pillows for support.

Failing steps 1-10, if you have difficulty breathing or your temperature spikes beyond what you and your doctor are comfortable with (I’ve heard different numbers), please go to the ER immediately. Some of you will develop dramatic and dangerous symptoms quickly. Please do not wait to seek care if your lungs are struggling beyond what you can manage at home. My advice is geared to keeping as many of us comfortable for as long as it takes to heal, but that obviously is only going to go so far for those who suffer from chronic conditions, are older, or are immunosuppressed. If you have a finger oximeter, and are able to monitor your oxygen levels numerically, then you will know when you have to go to the hospital. But very few of us have those, and they are way sold out.

THE OTHER SIDE

Healing from even a mild case (and mine IS mild) takes about two weeks to a month.

As my dad would day, take it easy. It is unclear how immunity works with COVID-19. Some have said that there was a patient in Japan who tested positive a second time. There is speculation that this, in fact, was a relapse and not re-infection. We need more time to learn about the virus. In the meantime, please give yourselves time to heal.

We don’t know how long immunity lasts, and we don’t know about immunity to slightly different mutated strains even if we have recovered from one of them. I do hope that we get to develop a fair amount of herd immunity in the next year, but, again, there is a lot to learn. We will obviously still need to protect our vulnerable populations, and our society will continue to bend and contort itself around the virus.

But I hope to be in a position to assist when others get sick. I will happily help you to the best of my abilities. Looking to a future I can hardly conceive at the moment, I anticipate learning more about plant medicine. Scientists will develop new antivirals, retrovirals, and vaccines. I look forward to donating plasma as part of a treatment for those who get sick in the future, whenever that near-distant moment may be.

And thank you, friends. I am good. I have everything I need. My inner circle is incredible (I love you, mom!). I have been quarantined since developing symptoms and went out for a half hour only to get tested (thank you, Howard Brown for your invaluable service). No one else I spent time with beforehand has gotten sick (except my one friend whose illness coincided with mine, and they are also struggling a bit today with the ups and downs. Please hold them in your thoughts).

May you and your loved ones stay healthy. Or, more to the point, may we all get well and stay well. Sending love to all corners.– Rachel Herman

[gaspbrat]

Senior Year Hues

not blues

au where IT is just a normal travelling clown.

Georgie is alive and well.

As is the prom haze.

warnings: angery jealous eds, swearing

ENJOy, I don’t know why I never posted this. Undoubtedly was part of an entire series.

wc: 3500+

Gretchen Tozier was a beloved and respected 1968 partially black Barracuda “carefully” handed down through the family. Gifted to Richie’s uncle in ‘71, pawned off on Richie’s dad following his uncle’s first DUI and the damage that came with it in January of '72.

Two matte grey mismatched panels on the driver side door and the front bumper were added, hoped to be finished by '73 so Richie’s older sister could joyride through her senior year, seven years later. Thanksgiving that same year, though, dear Uncle Andy rolled through Derry again. He borrowed the car for about twenty-six minutes before overturning it on an embankment near Neibolt. Gretchen was towed, fixed and released back to his father a few months later. His uncle spent the night in the drunk tank, receiving his second and final DUI. Andy hasn’t returned to Derry or their lives since.

To his sister’s distaste, she would not be able to take it a few hundred miles down the coast to college with her like she had hoped. His parents told her she needed to buy her own, especially with her living on campus. She does, a beat up ‘88 Mitsubishi with peeling forest green paint and a bumper that didn’t match.

Richie, upon turning 15, bought her off of his dad for fifty dollars and a pay stub in '91. She has been appreciated properly for the next three wonderful years. Only the finest of company near Ol’ Gretchie.

Eddie definitely hated the ridiculous, loud, obnoxious piece of junk. He definitely didn’t end up falling for that piece of junk just like he did with its driver. Out of the question.

He didn’t get excited when he heard the rhythmic drumming of the old engine approaching his street from a block away.

He most certainly did not love the homey fabric of the seats with endless rips in them or the faint lingering smell of the little trees Richie puts up to mask the ghost of cigarettes past. (Eddie is almost certain they aren’t Richie’s, but if they were he knew Richie would never admit it.)

Eddie did not love that car. Whatsoever. But he did find a place in his heart for all the memories made with it. With him.

So when Richie told him he had to take it to the dump, Eddie nearly lost it.

“What do you mean you’re trashing it, I thought you loved that thing?!”

“Eds, why are you getting so upset, I thought you hated it?”

“I do (not), but… it’s sad seeing you just get rid of it like that.”

“You’re gonna miss ol’ Gretchie aren’t you, spaghetti?”

Richie knew his car didn’t actually need to be trashed entirely it just needed a few major repairs that he knew he would never be able to afford. At least not soon; not for another three months until he could save enough. And if Eddie found out he’d dump his savings into that thing no question. His little hypochondriac was far too good to  him. Even if he wasn’t his yet.

Eddie always was ready to help Richie any way he could, he knew that wholeheartedly, but his stupid damn pride would not allow it.

Richie took up working overtime on the weekends just so he could get back to driving his little Eddie bear around Derry as soon as possible.

Gretchen was a staple in the Tozier’s Promposals. She accompanied his parents to their prom. He was not about to break this tradition just because of his bank account. Eddie deserved the best carriage for his first prom. He was going to have to swallow his pride and buckle in for the most agonizing waiting game of his life, so far.

“Hey, Richie,” Eddie called over to his friend, remembering an invitation he was to extend, snapping Richie from his brooding, “Bill’s having a sleepover tonight, did you want to go? He said you can pick the movie.”

Eddie’s smile was so genuine and hopeful the he almost said yes just so he could keep that smile right where it belonged always but he remembered he had to close tonight and work the mid shift tomorrow. And Bill never let him pick the movies, ever.

“Wish I could but I work tonight. Sorry, buddy.” he patted Eddie’s shoulder and gave him a weak smile.

“You’ll get along without me though, won’t you, Eds?”

“I guess… yea.”

Richie immediately wanted to take it back just to see that smile. Just to see those damn dimples.

He seemed to have gotten his wish when he noticed those big brown eyes light up.

“What about tomorrow? We could go see that movie you wanted to see?”

Again, almost horrendously, Eddie looked so hopeful to be spending time with him that Richie’s frozen heart thawed, just slightly.

“My old man wants me to help him get my sister’s junk out of the house and down to her dorm this weekend, shit, I’m really sorry Eds.”

Richie really really hoped Eddie would leave at that but of course not. He really wanted trashmouth to suffer even if he didn’t know he was suffering.

“..I could help?”

Eddie knew he just grasping at straws here but he really missed being annoyed by this dumb stupid asshole every day even though he would never tell him that.

“Eds, I’d love for you to,” the smaller boy’s eyes twinkled, “but there probably wouldn’t be enough room?”

He knew he didn’t sound convincing. Not at all. He just didn’t want to think about it anymore. He wanted to just get work done so he could get paid and then never ever ever have to see this look on Eddie’s face again.

“Oh. Yea, you-you’re probably right, um, sorry I asked. Maybe next week, I guess.” Eddie decided it was best to just give him his space at that point, turning away from him, trying to end the conversation.

“Eds, wait-”

“Stop fucking calling me Eds.”

Richie didn’t see Eddie for the rest of the weekend after he dropped him off at Bill’s that night. Partially from working almost the entire weekend, partially because Eddie had avoided him as much as he could.

Somehow Eddie managed to steer clear of anything remotely related to Richie that next Tuesday.

The taller boy caught a couple glimpses of him the previous school day but he would disappear before anything could be said between them.

Richie sauntered over to the rest of the losers at lunch to find Eddie absent like the day before.

“Hey, where’s Spaghedward?”

“We thought you would know, didn’t you guys just have chem?” Ben answered from beside Stan.

“Yea but he darted off somewhere in a hurry. I thought he’d be here.” Richie turned around hoping to spot Eddie coming from the bathroom or something.

“He seemed kind of upset when I talked to him earlier, what’s going on?” Beverly interjected after swallowing her first spoon of peach yogurt.

Stan ate in silence while the others discussed what could be wrong. He eyed Richie with what others would call just blatant disgust but hid it behind his thermos of chicken noodle soup.

“Yo, Stan, what do you think?” Richie finally asked him directly. He knew something.

“I think you should talk to him.” Ben responded before realizing he wasn’t the one with the answer Richie wanted.

“I second that. Talk to him.” Mike said around his turkey and cheddar sandwich.

Beverly and Bill simply nodded as they picked through their lunches.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Stan very quietly said, focusing pointedly on his sandwich.

“Why not?” Richie started to get impatient. Stan knew something he didn’t and it was clearly upsetting enough that Stan couldn’t hide his distaste. More than usual.

“He clearly just wants some space, I think you should respect that, okay?”

Stan started to raise his voice slightly and that immediately made Richie eight times more concerned knowing that Stan, of all people, was trying to keep Eddie away from him. Stan quickly picked up his tray and dumped it into the trash before heading down one of the halls.

Richie gave Beverly a kick under the table.

She initially was annoyed but softened when she saw the beat up Docs that had kicked her, nodding without a word. She kicked back twice, the second kick stronger than the first.

“Ow,”

“What, Richie?” Bill raised his head.

“Nothing just kicking myself.”

Lunch proceeded in near silence. Richie was silent for once while the others gossiped about their classes. He was debating the decision to ditch his last period to be early for work. Craig would appreciate him showing up and relieving him early, anyway.

The others returned to their classes and the day sailed by. After school most of them, save for Richie and Mike, met up by the racks to see each other off. Beverly and Ben made a plan to head to the library to cram for their English final tomorrow morning. Bill was planning on tagging along but decided to spend some time with Georgie instead.

Stan knew he didn’t want Ben to third wheel, even though it was evident Bill would be the outlier.

“Bye guys, see you Monday!” Eddie called to the other three losers as he and Stan got on their bikes to head home.

“Oh, hey can we stop by the store really quick? I need to pick up some more of the Nutty Buddies for my mom.”

“Sure.” Eddie didn’t think twice about the grocery run given Mrs. Uris had an acute craving for peanut butter after four.

He was unaware, however, that Stan had set a plan in motion.

Just so happens that the general store was directly across the street from the arcade. Eddie immediately got excited and thought to tell Stan they should go say hi to Richie. Then he remembered Richie telling him he had to help his sister today and brushed it off.

The two went inside to pick up the Nutty Buddies. Stan bought a kit-kat and a bag of chips for him to eat after dinner later.

“I don’t know how you can eat all that junk Stan, how do you sleep at night with your teeth just-,” Eddie stopped nagging momentarily as something outside of the store caught his attention. A dark green, vaguely familiar, car pulled up outside the arcade.

He saw Richie pop out and walk into the arcade with a can of Shasta cola in his hand and a snickers hanging from his mouth, leaving who Eddie assumed was his sister to drive off.

Weird. Thought she would still be in New York right about now.

“Eddie whats going on? You stopped yelling at me.”

“Shut up Stan, look!”

Eddie pointed out the window towards a car he noticed was parked every other season in the driveway.

“Wait, I thought you said he was helping his sister.” Stan inquires further, knowing far better.

“He said he was.” Eddie was immediately disappointed for a reason he wasn’t sure of yet.

Their investigation was put on hold while the clerk rang up their items. She tried starting small talk but Stan just replied curtly with, “Not interested, thank you” while waving a twenty in her general direction.

Eddie supplied a ‘thanks’ to Stan for buying the goods without once looking away from the arcade, observing a cloud of teenage girls huddled in a corner. Their ring leader was approaching the glass and Eddie started to feel dread at the pit of his stomach. He nudged Stan and then started bagging erratically.

They gathered the items and bolted out the door, trying to make sure they could see Richie through the glass without him seeing them.

“Wait, who’s that girl?” Eddie said after a long period of silence.

“Looks like Melissa Cromwell. She’s pretty hot du-.” Stan passed on the general rumor he heard relentlessly from around town. They made him sick but she was definitely well recognized by most boys.

“Shut up, Stan, who asked you?” Eddie whipped out, hoping his words stung like the sting he felt in his chest at this moment.

“You.. did-”

“What the fuck is she doing?”

“Is that a trick question?”

He scoffed but let Eddie’s rambling continue, however, because he had a feeling that Eddie cared a lot more than it already seemed he did. He hasn’t said anything to Stan like ‘Hey I’m bangin’ Richie now, deal with it’ but they’ve been spending a lot of time in each other’s company as of late.

He also knew exactly what a little jealous sap Kaspbrak was like so he didn’t intervene; didn’t mean he couldn’t feed the flame just a bit. Richie was being dismissive and kind of a dick lately, not that that’s anything new. Stan just didn’t want to see his friend tossed over a cliff over this dirt bag.

“Oh my God he’s making her laugh? Look- look at that!”

“I mean, yea? They have Lit together.” Stan announced with his all-knowing bird brain. He saw all and only repeated what he wanted to.

“Why do you care about what Richie fuckin’ Tozier does with his wa-”

Eddie turned to Stan and gave him the look.

Stan shut his mouth tight.

“He lied to me Stanley and know he’s chatting up that hot chick.”

He would never say it to Eddie’s face, (Richie’s face is another story) but Stanley didn’t truly understand what Eddie saw in that asshole. Richie was a dick about three-hundred percent of the time. A dick to Eddie three-hundred percent of the time. He was also for some reason intensely obsessed with his mom.

Stan decided it was best to just let that ship sink on its own eventually when the captain abandoned it. However, if he saw a time bomb ticking down the hull of that ship, he would hop on that lifeboat without a single word and paddle away, letting the pieces fall behind him.

But he couldn’t do that to Eddie.

Right?

The pair noticed the girls all call his name as they exited through the glass doors, cackling with their mob mentality. Stan found them repulsive but knew most guys saw the other qualities.

“Eh, Richie makes a lot of girls laugh sometimes. I guess they think he’s funny?” Stan attempted to level out some of the doubt surrounding his friend.

Much to Eddie’s dismay, Richie started to head back outside of the arcade.

He let out a panicked ‘oh fuck’ before darting off into the alley and biking through it, he didn’t care where he went he just wanted to get far from there.

Stan was struggling with the bag and his kickstand and failed to notice the quick departure of his friend.

He started off a moment later but hesitated when he saw Richie following Melissa further down the street holding a pair of sunglasses and a sharpie in his hands.

Bright neon lights blinked in the arcade window with a welcoming glow. It felt like home to Richie. Except he worked there and wasn’t allowed to play (unless it was empty because it was so slooow after eight).

He got out of his sister’s car with a quick ‘thanks, sis’ before closing the door and heading into work. He wondered what bullshit he’d have to put up with today as he munched down on his snickers.

Richie immediately noticed Melissa and her biters at Pacman not far from the counter. He knew all too well that it yielded almost no tickets at all.

“What’s up, Craig?” he called from around his almost-gone snickers.

The mid-twenties blonde looked up from his comic to acknowledge the brunette boy before him with his hand outstretched in a fist. They bumped fists before Richie set down his shasta on the glass prize display case so he could vault the counter. He landed with a huff loud enough to peak the interest of one of the vapid cheerleaders. It wasn’t hard, none of them were at all focused on collecting dots.

“Those girls came in about a half hour ago. One of them was asking about you.” Craig was telling Richie offhandedly while the younger brunette took off his leather jacket to replace it with his work shirt.

“They’re annoying please, just, like, give them your number and be done with it, totes,” Craig started to bust out laughing while he took off his work shirt and headed into the back of the store.

Richie bent down to put his keys and jacket under the register, pausing when he heard a light giggle from above him.

Fuck.

He slowly got up to face whoever was waiting on the other side of the counter.

“Heey, Richie.” Melissa was leaning on her hand with her elbow propped up on the glass of the counter.

Richie took small a step back from the register.

“Hi, Melissa.”

“I, um, wanted to exchange these tickets for something.” she reached into her back pocket and brought out a pitiful stack of tickets.

Absolutely pathetic.

“Okay.” Richie took them and put them into the ticketing counting machine next to him.

27

“You have twenty-seven.” He said back plainly.

“Ooh, jackpot.” she said slyly smiling as she bit on the end of her sunglasses.

“You can get a finger puppet, a pocket alien” He began listing the lowest tier of redemption.

“A pair of dice,”

“Or jelly bracelets.” The short list came to an end, his attention being returned to the glinting eyes across the counter. He took note of how flattering this direct light would be on anEone else. He pushed it back and awaited her decision.

“Can I get that one?” she pointed to a particularly adorable bear toy.

“Oooh, no sorry. You don’t have enough tickets. How sad.” he clicked his tongue, cocking his head to the side.

“How many more do I need?” She asked with a horrible attempt at puppy dog eyes.

“One.”

“Let me check,” she dug into her back pocket, bouncing from foot to foot.

“Ah-hah!” Melissa pulled out a single ticket, setting it on the counter and sliding it across to him.

“Lucky you.” he said so sarcastically he almost sounded believable.

Richie turned the ticket over before putting it into the machine revealing red numbers and a call me in sloppy cursive loops with,his favorite, a little winky face. He paused, collected his nerves before presenting her with a coy smile.

“I’m sorry, this ticket has been tampered with. I can’t accept this.” he slid it back, grinning.

“Fine. Then I’ll take the,” she leaned much farther than necessary over the counter to point to a tiny alien on a key chain.

“Weird ass alien thing.”

“All yours.”

“Thank you.”

She winked at him before returning to her gang of much too giddy single sheeple friends.

He couldn’t wait to tell Eddie all about this petty ordeal but then he remembered he probably wouldn’t see his best friend until tomorrow at lunch if Eddie showed. Maybe he’d sneak out tonight.

His thoughts were interrupted when he saw Melissa and company head towards the exit.

“Bye Richie.” they all called in shrill unison as they left the arcade, giggling manically to each other. Melissa dangled her alien keychain from hier pinkie as she turned away.

Fuck he hated his job.

He crossed his arms on the glass that he would need to clean anyway and rested his head on top of them. His nose bumped something on the counter causing him to jolt up.

Fuck.

Richie picked the glasses up off the counter before vaulting it again. He walked with some urgency through the glass door after Melissa.

Lucky for him she was lagging behind her friends while they undoubtedly chattered among themselves about how perfect him and Mel would be together. How great they would look together at prom, most likely.

“Melissa!”

Eddie’s bike was thrown into the dirt far from the arcade while he sat down on a rock and used his inhaler. He hasn’t biked that fast since they had to chase Bill to that stupid fucking house on neibolt. That house that he broke his arm in. The house that the clown tried to eat him and all of his friends in.

That goddamn house where Richie set his broken arm after relentlessly trying to keep his focus on that motherfucking shit clown.

He coached his breathing back down to mildly panicked just before he saw Stan biking rapidly towards him. He seemed shocked.

He immediately worried if Richie had seen his buddy Stan and stopped him.

“Hey Stan, what’cha got there, lube for you dad?”

“No it’s Eddie’s snacks, he bolted like a bitch when you came out.”

“Oh damn, well, I got Melissa’s digits and I would have wanted to tell him that his mom’s gonna have to wait unt-”

“Eddie!”

Stan shook his shoulder lightly.

“Wait, when did you get here?”

“Like a minute ago while you were lost in thought, dude.”

“Shit. Damn.”

“You okay?” his only sanity broke off at Stan’s useless question.

“No, Stanley, Im not o’ fuckin’ kay.”

Thanks for readin’! Much love

[captawesomesauce]

Hey everyone, I've been meaning to make this post for a while now so no better time than the present!

As some of you know, I was looking to get an air fryer for a few reasons, the main one being I wanted something that won't catch the house on fire if my father uses it to cook things. He's left the burners on the stove on a few times, he forgot he was broiling something in the oven, and he caught the toaster on fire twice.

Enough was enough, but microwaved meals are pretty sucky. I saw the infomercials about air fryers and honestly, I thought it'd be a huge "as seen on tv" pile of shit. Most of those things are and there's few things I hate worse than spending money on cheap useless crap.

But I kept asking around, people kept saying they loved theirs, and I spent a lot of time researching the various models. Cheap chinese ones on amazon, super expensive 300 dollar ones in stores, everyone loved theirs no matter which ones they bought.

I didn't want a combo/convection oven for the reason above - fire is bad.

I also had to be aware of the space limitations of my counter top, so a lot of them were no gos because of that.

A big second reason is that with my schedule last quarter I was at school or work until 2am most nights, and leaving the house at 10am most days. I'd tried things like meal prep and slow cookers, but when you work shift work and strange hours and stuff, you're kind of caught between two moods... too exhausted to make anything, and too hungry to eat just a nuked meal. That's why fast food places make such big bucks late at night... it's us and stoners lol.

So for black friday, I bought this at Kohls, it's the larger 6qt Nuwave Brio, and with the accessory pack and all the bells and whistles, it came to just over $90! The 3qt usually sells for 100, and the 6 for around 150. The accessory pack is another 40 usually. So instead of paying 200, I got everything for just 90... gotta love holiday sales!

The real question is... how does it cook?

Honestly I fucking love it! It's simple to use, preheat works great and is fast, it's a little loud, but not bad, and clean up has been easy once I found a good brush to use. The food all tastes great and it's just so simple with no real prep or anything, and it cooks FAST. Most things are done in 8-12 minutes, even stuff that would nomally take 20+.

The 1st pic top row is the good old frozen tater tots. They browned wonderfully and tasted so good. I made these for dad to snack on but stole a couple to try :)

The 2nd pic needs a bit of explaining. I'm actually super proud of this and it's such an incredible meal bursting with flavor! What you're looking at is Broccoli and Cheddar soup with matzo balls, noodles, chicken, mushrooms, and sprinkled bacon on top! I found a recipe for low carb/diabetic friendly balls and noodles and cooked them in chicken broth with an added bit of roasted chicken bouillon base. When they were done, I scooped them out, brought it back to a boil and added the chicken and mushrooms and dill, and then the broccoli and cheddar soup package and let that cook for a bit. When it was done I added the matzo balls and noodles to a bowl, ladeled in the soup, and sprinkled the bacon over it. It made enough for 3 meals, which is why i wanted to keep the balls and noodles separate, so they didn't soak up all of the soup or make it bland overnight. It was quick, easy, all i did was cut up chicken tenders, the rest was just dump and go! Perfect comfort food! I did make the bacon in the air fryer, and made it super crispy so I could crumble it up which is why it belongs in this group. I think it was 12 mins at 400 degrees to get it cooked well enough.

3rd pic are english bangers made in the fryer, not as good as bbq, but you can see they browned up nicely all over.

4th pic was my splurge day to celebrate finals being over! On the right are bacon wrapped hotdogs which came out perfect! I really struggled making those in the house and tried everything from stovetop to oven, and it never came out that great. Air fryer was simple... just put them in, close the tray, check on them after like 5 mins, flip them, another 5 or 6, and done. On the left are broccoli tots made with real broccoli and no potatoes or carbs at all. They came out excellent in the fryer, and on top is a no bean chili with sharp cheddar and mozzarella cheese on top. FUCK that tasted incredible!

5th pic was a lazy, fuck this - I don't want to cook, so let's just try something mood. I took some chicken tenders, wrapped two slices of bacon around it and tossed it into the air fryer. No seasoning, no prep, no toothpicks, nothing, just wrap and drop. I used a maple bacon and the flavor soaked into the chicken and the bacon was so crispy, the chicken wasnt over done at all and it tasted incredible. Fucking amazing, that was such a winner meal.

6th pic are those lobster cakes you can find in the market. They came out really good, cooked all the way through and browned nicely!

7th pic is lemon garlic shrimp and bacon wrapped filet mignon appetizer thing. Shrimp was 50% off so I grabbed half a pound and sauteed it in a lemon simmer sauce with some fresh garlic. It came out great and that simmer sauce is amazing. I also had a coupon for a free box of these bacon wrapped filet mignon appetizer things... they were ok. They cooked wonderfully in the air fryer, but too much pepper :\

8th pic is the first thing I cooked in the air fryer and the bacon came out perfect.

9th pic is my dinner the other night. I pan seared the steak and then cooked it in the air fryer, and also made the cracked pepper brussel sprouts and cauliflower in there too. As you can see, everything came out wonderfully and the steak was still incredibly juicy and perfectly done.

So... yeah... I'm happy with it :)

[cestfromage]

As we were drifting off to sleep last Friday night, I mentioned to Alice that I felt like I was coming down with something. Sure enough, upon awakening on Saturday morning, I was sick. Joy. Alice, though, maintained health! Yay! Unfortunately, we had a full day planned, so, despite my budding illness, we headed out the door to Central London.

First stop, a perfume store. Sigh. Alice has wanted me to wear cologne ever since she met me. And I have resisted. For some reason, I am not a big fan of colognes on men. But I am nothing if not amenable. We found a perfume store and went in. Not having much of an olfactory sense at the best of times, I fear I was not much help to Alice in picking out what scent to purchase. I think Alice tested four before opting for Dior – Sausage. I mean Sauvage. Here me roar. I did learn that one does not mist the air and then walk through the scent. Yay knowledge.

Next stop, lunch. Although not terribly hungry, I did know myself well enough to realize that a bout of clothes shopping would be better endured with a full stomach than on an empty one. We went to a cool place called Kinglsy Court where there were a bunch of heavily patronized restaurants. Nothing really appealed to either of us, until we saw someone chowing down on a bowl of Japanese noodles! Sadly, that restaurant had a long line outside its door. So we meandered through the rest of the three floors of mostly restaurants, hoping for inspiration. It came in the shape of a second Japanese restaurant called Oka. There was a table in the corner available to us and we took it! I was in the mood for soup, as I felt that soup was most easily digested -saving my body’s energies for fighting my illness. The miso soup was delicious and plentiful! Actually, all the dishes were reasonably sized, especially for a Japanese restaurant. Alice ordered a beef dish (delicious) and I suggested either a Spider Roll or (to cut out the middle man) Tempura Soft Shelled Crab. Yummy and yummy! And we also got an order of asparagus. And a serving of seaweed salad. All delicious. And so much food that we had to take some home with us (beef and asparagus – we both finished our soups and there is rarely any leftover soft shelled crab when we are around).

Fat and happy (and sick) we headed to our next destination (of five – though we only made four after all) a clothing store called Massimo Dutti. Alice has gotten me clothes from there before – and we had even visited this same store during a previous visit (though I don’t remember us getting anything there last time…). Alice was tenacious, persistent and patient – she found me oodles of things to try on – pants, shirts, sweatshirts…and waited while I slowly, very, very slowly, tried everything on. We ended up with a lot of clothes for relatively little money. By the way, the shopping was all on Alice – for Christmas missed and my birthday to be missed. I would have actually like to have worn one of the pairs of pants out of the store, but I forgot somehow. Oh, right, I was sick. And dragging.

We packed everything into one bag and headed off to our next appointment and destination. The appointment was with Alice’s friend Rachael at a pub Alice and I had met a different friend at last visit – The White Horse Pub. (Wow, that was a convoluted sentence…) Apparently the only pub in the area that Alice remembers the name of. We managed to score an indoor table despite the crush of humanity. Rachael arrived in a timely fashion and we had a pleasant time chatting and drinking. Alice and Rachael took turns modeling Rachael’s white hat. I was only mildly tempted to join in.

Alice and I had been planning on going to the Lego Store, but I was just feeling way too exhausted to even try. Maybe we will be able to do it during my last week here. We shall see. Headed home, where Alice started to minister to my illness.

Sunday dawned to a freshly sickened Alice. Since she was still feeling a teeny bit better than I was, she went to the grocery store and came back with lots of goodies! We had had plans to meet up with another of Alice’s friends for lunch, but neither of us really felt up to seeing anyone – or wanted to infect anyone if we could avoid it. Alice made us some amazing soup (I just had another bowl of it for lunch today in fact…) for dinner – mostly vegetable soup with some chicken and bacon. So good! And good for our sickened bodies!

Monday dawned and Alice was sicker! She contacted the office and told them that she was ill and would be working from home, which they were very cool about. Alice again worked really hard. It is great to watch her – answering emails, responding to instant messages, making calls and getting things accomplished! No wonder she is liked and respected at her work place! Meanwhile, I did lots of nothing. I had thought I might head out to the Charles Holden, but I couldn’t face it. I spent most of the day in bed, while Alice spent most of the day in the living room (or “Lounge” as she calls it) on her laptop. At some point, Alice remembered that we were supposed to be meeting another of her acquaintances for dinner that evening. Sigh. Since she was feeling a bit better after being able to forgo the busy and taxing commute to work – and the sitting in the sometimes chilly office – we decided to go forward with our dinner plans.

Off to Central London! We were going against the commute so it was pretty easy. The place was called Hubble and Boxton or something like that. Looked like a hotel with a bar and dining area. Alice had made reservations and we were given a lovely booth in the back. Alice’s friend showed up though both of us were starting to get worried that she might not appear after all. I had a vodka with grapefruit juice which I thought would be a good healthy combination, since I was still feeling sick (heck, I am still still feeling sick…). And I ordered way too much food. I don’t really know what I was thinking! I started with a greek salad (small) then went on to my main course of duck, with a side of fries and a side of broccoli! Wow! I think I had one bite of the duck. The salad was good sized and filled me right up. Oh, I also ate most of Alice’s and Jane’s house made potato chips that their steak tartare appetizers were garnished with. Boy those were tasty! Everything was tasty – though I somehow managed to forget to have a taste of Alice’s steak tartare. Or her ribs. Hmm. I really must have been sick. One of the pleasures of dining out with someone, I believe, is getting to taste other people’s food. Sigh. Oh, yes, Jane and Alice had identical food – steak tartare to start, bbq baby back ribs for mains. Good food, good conversation, good evening! Jane even decided that she was going to lend us a book! Yay!

Back home again, Alice and I played a couple of hands of gin and went to bed. Yay sleep – though neither of us did much of that – still sick. Sigh.

Tuesday, Alice went in to work – I am sure that being there made parts of her job a lot easier. And I think she had a meeting to attend. Anyway, I stayed at home, where I played house husband. I folded and put away the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, straightened the bed and generally made the place welcoming for Alice after her long (long, long!!) day at work. I also took a trip out to the Charles Holden to get a blog post done (which I hope you all read – newsy though it was). I sat in the comfy chair near the outlet! Yay! And drank a pretty good concoction of orange juice, cranberry juice and soda water. Health first! After hanging out there and relishing the wifi, I took a walk in the other direction from my walks last visit. Last time, I/we spent a lot of time down Wimbledon way. This time, I decided to walk up towards Tooting Broadway. Really, one has to love some of the names in England. Tooting. I wonder if it means the same thing here as it does in some parts of the States. Doubtful…

Tooting isn’t that far from Colliers Wood – about a mile I think, to the Tooting Broadway Tube Station. Alice had asked that I pick up a pair of shoes that she had found on the internet. They had been left in a Portuguese restaurant. I mentioned to the proprietor that we were heading to Madeira and he (I hope jokingly) told me that we were going to be robbed and raped and beaten up during our visit there. He said the island was lovely, but the people were terrible. All the time looking at one of the woman in the restaurant who was from there. The second part of my mission was trying to find another present for Alice for her birthday. I did find the shop I was looking for, and saw one thing that I thought might be good, but decided to try again the next day to see what else appeared. (Sigh – more on that later.) Then I walked home and waited patiently (napped) until Alice got home – much later than either of us had anticipated.

When she did finally get home, we decided to cook dinner together. Both Alice and I enjoy cooking – she is much more creative, I tend to stick to what I know with occasional forays into the unknown and experimental. Dinner consisted of lamb steaks and mixed vegetables (brussels sprouts, leeks and asparagus). And it turned out very well with neither of us getting in the way of each other in her teeny tiny kitchen area! Yay! More card playing and then off to bed.

I slept way more than I had the previous nights. I don’t know that Alice can say the same (I’ll have to ask). She got up and went in to work again since she was taking the next few days off from work for our trip to Madeira! Oh, I think we booked an airbnb room one of the past few nights. I got scared when I did my search, because only one place seemed to be available for our desired stay. Eeek! Turns out my preferences had been set so that only one dollar amount was being searched for. Phew! We found a lovely place – will definitely post pictures of it after we get there…I again have acted as house husband and, despite my intentions the day before, I ended up just staying home. Nursing my health a bit and doing house husbandly tasks. And working on another blog post. And napping. Yay napping!

Thursday, we were heading off to our vacation (within a vacation for me) for Alice’s birthday. It is, er, interesting, the way things don’t turn out as planned…

Charnel House? We’re not dead yet! As we were drifting off to sleep last Friday night, I mentioned to Alice that I felt like I was coming down with something.